May 20, 2025 • 50 mins
Langston and David are back in studio opening the Lil' Momma voicemails. We get calls about Jesus being an alien, Black people being on the spectrum (of course the caller is drunk), and a gay man's rant about straight dudes not liking women. These Lil' Mommas run the gamut and like a community, we go through the good and the bad together.
SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com
LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667)
LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX
DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg
TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en
MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/
FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman
FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I wanted the movie to be about the big titt
magic woman, Like that's what was the best part of
the movie to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. We were
watching it and my girl made the funniest point. We
were watching it and at the end, like when he
dies and she's there. My girl was like, damn, so
she got a breastfeed even in heaven. That was crazy.
(00:25):
You know, she didn't get nothing out of that. Man,
I'm not lying to you when I said when I
say that felt nuts to me. That sucks. I was like,
why would they do that? The baby ain't grown, not none, Bro,
she gotta work. It happened so that all that women
did that whole movie was work you.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
So we just continue capitalism and patriarchy all the way
through eternity.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
The women did not have it good in that movie. No,
that sucked. And then I started thinking about it, and
I was like that man came back and she was like,
I've been praying for you even though you left me.
Hit it. And then it was like, come work for
me some more. And then she died. Come on, cook
some grits. Yeah, come on, you go. I'm having a party.
I need you to cook. It's about to start in
(01:13):
five hours. I don't let nobody else cook for me,
my lady, what I'm thinking about for a while. Chips
in yours a Kuala bears are racist. Also, money's turkey stuff.
(01:40):
Ya can't tell me a lot of chicken from pop byes.
There is there. It is.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
And my mama told me the podcast where we dive
deep into the pockets of black conspiracy year and we
work every day to prove if that were wasting your
goddamn time. Come on, come on, you know what. You
got an hour and a half to lunch. It's slow
on the phones. Come hang out with your friends. Girl
(02:12):
ain't texting you.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Come on, come on this Wednesday, it's Day's day. You
ain't got to see your kids for another four hours.
You go ahead, you play with us. Yeah that's nice. Yeah,
that was good.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, I hope they feel good about it. I went back.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, we're we're gonna do another another motherfucking regular episode.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
D I know, we've had a lot of star studied guests.
People keep calling, They keep saying, David Langston Langston, David,
let us breathe hammered, don't hurt them. So many amazing guests,
Gang after Queen after after they No, it's nice to
(02:58):
do one. Just we have some we've been going crazy
now we've had some dope people. Great conversation. Yeah quite Frankly,
we're only getting better and better, and we'd like you
to pay us for it.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I don't disagree with that. Yeah, yeah, send me money.
He didn't no fight out of me. Frankly, we got
a lot of voicemails.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
We got a lot of voicemails, and we said that
we were going to dedicate this episode to answering some voicemails,
and so I'm just going to jump around. As you
may or may not know, we don't listen to any
of these ahead of time. We are discovering them together
and we'll find out if any of that makes sense
or is worth doing at all. You guys might just
be sending us sadistic shit over and over again, and
(03:41):
we we don't even realize it.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
You might still be getting drunk on calls. I know
that that's that's definitely been a through line and not
calling us sober. And we hope some of you are.
But but if you are still drunk, we will still
talk to you. Yeah, that's the kind of desperate we are.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah, we're just talking drunk strangers. Wee cause we're like,
we've been sitting here making fun of y'all, but we'd
be like, damn, I'm glad he called it. We're not
better than you. No, no, we're not better than you.
And we will not tell you how to live. That's
(04:18):
two promises you get out of us. Ain't nobody telling
you the sober rep Nope. We are uncomfortable at times
when you are calling the way you're calling, but that's
that's for us to work. Come on, man, I don't
I don't want to tell you the cold plunge. I
don't want to tell you to eat towels. All right,
we have let's do a voicemail.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Hey guys, I am a new little mama. I've been
watching the show for a little bit and I just
saw a new episode and I didn't know we could
leave voicemails. I'm like a clip girly, So I just
had a quick question.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay, well, then that's a goddamn shame eight for four
little moms. If you're out there and you don't you
didn't know you could leave voicemails. I don't know how
you're listen listening to this episode hearing a voicemail and
somehow still not knowing you could leave voicemails. Baby girl,
you got other problems? That said eight four or four
little moms, give us a call. We would love to
hear from all the clip girlies, all the clip boy boy.
(05:17):
You gotta hit that ice cube?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Yeah, all right, question for you guys, because when I
heard this concept, it truly blew my mind. So we
always talk about aliens, right, and one day someone told
me they were like, what if Jesus was an alien?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (05:35):
And it made sense because the conversation y'all are having
now with Patrick Cloud, where it's like everything wasn't so
like in the back, back in the day, where it
was all based on like stories and hieroglyphs. Everything may
have seemed like it wasn't literal, but it could have
been literal. So I was thinking, like if Jesus came
from a different planet, or like if they were alien
(05:56):
and they came to Earth and started walking on water
and doing all this stuff like turning you know, grape
juice in the wine that.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Was water like some aliens. It was water. Yeah, grape
juice to wine, that's just how it goes.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, you spend enough time with grape juice, it'll it'll
become wine.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
That sounds like some twisted old man wisdom at the camera.
Dance with the grape to its wine. Gotta you gotta
dance with the grape with crisp wine that you love
your gods off of me. I'm an apple man Jesus
(06:46):
and I'm listening like.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Some new magic alien holy spirit. Oh my god, this
is a miracle kind of stuff to some rock throwing caveman.
I don't know if that makes sense, but that's my question.
Do you guys think or what is your guys opinion
on the possibility that Jesus was real and the Bible
(07:07):
is real, but he was an alien from a different
planet that was like not even the best alien from
his planet, so he came to Earth to like impress
us me andal who oh.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
That took a spin at the end where she's because
she's saying he is like Jesus was super dumb. No no,
no, no other way, no no no, no, I understand, but
she's saying he was not exemplary, exemplary where he came
from and he came down here is a regular dude,
which I get that. I get that you go to
(07:41):
school in the big city, maybe you moved to a
school of a small town. Now all of a sudden
you're starting on their football team, whereas you wouldn't have
done that over there. M hm, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, I when I heard this, I thought less of
Jesus being an alien and more just being a really
like smart dude during a time when everybody else was
maybe a dumb dumb.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I think that's a and I think I don't know
if I believe in the alien thing. I think that
happens a lot. I think there's a lot of times
you'll just hear about people who are super forward thinking
and nobody got it because it was just not a
because this world isn't accommodating to like people who are
that smart.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, No, I don't think that.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I mean I think literally Tesla is named after a
type of man who was that right, you know what
I mean, Like that the Nikola Tesla dude was like
that level of forward thinking and then so much so
also not able to capitalize the same way that, like,
you know what I mean, the other people around him
(08:44):
ultimately did.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
No, you got to be middle smart to get far. Yeah.
I think that's where I'm blessed is I'm not that smart,
but I'm not that dumb. You got it. You can't,
you can't. The smartest people have a really tough time.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yeah, And it's it's part of the reason Elon is
flexing the way that he is and able to sort
of like convince everybody that he's this brilliant mind where
it's like, all right, take your time. Look, man, mistakes happen.
What I'm not gonna do is keep talking through it.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
No, thank you. I'm gonna go ahead and let let
you get myself together. Yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not
gonna feel that it and that's yours to feel on
your own.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
No, this is it's lasting so long. Yeah, I think
you're taking a while. You had a little cough. You
you couldn't quite get out.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
It was a bur I have a drink a sparkling water.
Why even if you drinking sparkling water like that, I
drink still. I drink the coconut.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Guy.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I mean, we come here though, and it's like it's
I still feel like sparkling water is like it's like
getting a free energy drink where you're like, I have
to just I got a juice up monetary like for
money wise, this is they're giving me money. I should
put these in my pocket. I'm gonna take some home.
I'm gonna take some home after this. That's for sure.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
You think I where cargoes on accident. I gotta build
these up.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
With you know what's crazy and we'll get back to Jesus.
Yea cargo pockets are for show because you always feel
like an asshole when you got in the pockets. It's
really hard to move the way you want to.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It's like not it jingles more than it the they
would if they were close to your meat.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
It looks so apparent like it's like it's really for
fashion only, truly fashion and like an actually you know
because even like workmen use like workman jeans. Yeah yeah, yeah,
carpenter jeans.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
This feels like maybe hikers foragers and shiit maybe they
they got back yeah, but it's probably easier because your
backpack also has like your medical kit in your.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
What are you trying to get to in your pockets though. Berries.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
You just put some nuts and some berries in there,
and now sudden you got a little pocket full.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I haven't really transported a lot of berries. I haven't either.
I'm just I'm just presumably. I feel like this rift
died and it was my fault.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
No, I'm not going to take responsibility for it, but
I never was going to.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Anyways. Was Jesus an alien? Possibly? I think so.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I think to me, it feels very likely that this
was just a dude, like you said, who moved to
a small town and figured out he could flex. Yeah,
that feels more realistic to me than an alien. And
the fact that we haven't gotten another version of it
since yeah, you know what I mean, Like, nobody's claiming
that there was like another alien who came down and
(11:33):
did something similar, right, and that means either he was
a much more exalted alien than we realize, or they
are they sent one guy, which seems crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
That's what never makes sense about it to me. But
the one guy theory, to me, does make sense for
her reject idea that it was like a loser who
like kind of escaped. That's that does seem like. It
seems like if it was one guy from an alien
would be that situation where it was not because why
would you send your best out alone? No, that was
the best is always to help the people, right, And
(12:09):
maybe to that point, the fact that he died, they
just presumed he died out and like they never knew
what happened to Jesus. This is what really blasphemous what
I'm about to say. What if it was like when
we sent monkeys to space.
Speaker 6 (12:30):
When the Russians sent that dog, they were like, they
were like, this isn't even Yeah, it was like a
whole other thing.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
We just needed to see if it was safe to
even go over there. And then you killed him. If
it doesn't explode, then awesome, that's cool. We actually thought
it would just blow up.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, we had no faith in this rocket ship whatsoever.
And then you made him a god. Oh y'all not ready,
damn we legit took them, took their space dog. And
(13:11):
they're like he different, Yeah, we should all be like him.
Still still forget you remember when the space dog was here? Yeah,
that motherfucker was cool. Man. Man, the more I'm laughing though,
I think this might just be that's the plot apes
(13:31):
that really is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that shit happens
to me sometimes. I think I have a good idea
and it's just I.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Don't think it's. The plot to Planet of the Apes.
Plot to Planet of the Apes is that apes take
over and then we basically threw a wormhole find ourselves
on a place on a planet where on the planet
where apes have now evolved to be the dominant species.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Okay, so I'm back on board. I told you middle smart,
this episode's going to be our biggest one.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
It feels like the plots of Planet Apes because the
original Mark Wahlberg one is well, the original I guess
is Charleston Heston is him landing onto the planet for
the first time, and you think it's not.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Earth right, right? The Statue of Liberty, Yeah, you damn
dirty apes. Yeah, the whole thing. All right, man, we
take another voicemail. That was beautiful. That was good though. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
No, I think I think there's some possibility that Jesus
was an alien, but more importantly, he wasn't white. That's
all that matters.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Skin of Bronze. Hey, let's take a break first. Let's
take a break. Yeah, break, okay, all right, great, we'll
be back with more. Langston more David and more.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
My mama told me, so, I got dick in the face. Crack.
See if he's okay.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
We're back. Nothing in our faces. No except for the
light of.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
The Lord, sweet sweet, sweet, sweet heaven above signs on
both of us.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Won't he do it? Yes? He will? Uh? We we
got more more voicemails. We we have to to get to.
Here's the here's one that caught my attention. I don't
know if that's a good thing.
Speaker 7 (15:33):
That that voicemail intro is disgusting. And y'all wonder why
you get called little masters or whatever. I don't know
how long I have. But of course I'm drunk.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Okay, wait a minute. Of course we didn't tell you
to get drunk to call us. We've we've largely discouraged it.
We're not We're not mad at you when you do.
I can't repeat that again. You do, but that was
not enough course situation. We're creating a crazy community here,
(16:09):
he said. Of course I'm drunk. Obviously, I'm nude. I'm wasted,
and I'm naked. Kelly is in the background. I've lit
both my more candles and I'm going to call you
to my hero. I A'm gonna call you too, men
(16:32):
who have no issue with any of the things I'm
talking about. Oh, that's so funny, that's great. Of course
I'm drunk.
Speaker 7 (16:39):
What a statement, voice message thing. Of course you be
drunk calls. I'm calling about black autistic people, black people
on the spectrum. You talk about them, you need to
see them. They're hilarious. They need more attention, they need.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Hilarious. Is a dangerous direction you're taking in this trump
drunk friends. I liked what he was saying. At first
he was like, they're they're present, they're real, they exist.
Black people with autism are around us all the time.
And then he was like, and the funny as it?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
All?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Right? Man, I'm not I'm not taking my foot off
the pedal, but I am putting it in neutral. I
don't know what this is. It's treading dangerous.
Speaker 7 (17:24):
Yeah, but what you need to not get be killed.
There we go. Taizonde did more interviews. Apparently romans nonverbal
for three whole years. At least anyway I thought he
was standing Black Nerd. Also, rest of the Check Night
Love Him did that bit about trying to fuck with
a black artistic kid, but just did not fuck with
them back hilarious, love it the more visibility. Elijah mclein
(17:47):
got killed, Katherine Wise and uh, I don't know. I
want better. Y'all are good? And Langston, what are the nunchucks?
They'll get well more than a thousand subscribers.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Mm hm hm hmm. This man is a liar. This
man is a drunk drunk ciet.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Look man, we said it before, we'll say it again.
We ain't keeping that promise.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
It was a media trick. Neither one of us has
the confidence nor the time to truly invest in. I'm
gonna try it.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I really do want to try to learn to use
my nunchucks, but I just don't have it.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I don't want to try to use my harmonica. Whoa
not even a little bit. It's not really Yeah, I
guess it was a pandemic. When do you pull it out?
And how would you pull it out? There's no function
I've ever been to that it would enhance.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
It'd be crazy, because I actually think it'd be cool
if you just had it and you were like, ain't
this crazy?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I have this right?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
But it would be crazy to pull it out and
be good. Yeah, that's people would be like, so David
just brought a harmonica to show us he's good at harmonica.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Yeah, we're now we're eating What was that going to
like when we were eating Greek salad last night?
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Man?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
You know what else is fun to do? And I
gotta hear a song I know, I don't really like,
yeah or recognize, and I'm like, that's the famous harmonica song. Yeah,
you know what I mean by Fats Tuesday. I don't
know what this dude was talking about it all. You
seem to really ramble and stop making sense. Yes, R
Peter Jack, miss you love you. I think he said
(19:22):
the word ketamine at one point.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Elijah McClain, I think is what he said. I don't
think he was saying ketamine.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I think he was referring to that black autistic person
who was shot and killed by the police. I believe.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
And yeah, all right, beat to all the people that
you listed. It got morbid right towards the end. Yeah,
here's dead people, and here's what's tragic about it. I
do here's what I'll talk about that I do think
sort of reminds me of some of the things he
was saying. I do find that there are versions of
black autism that we are not celebrating enough. Like I
(20:00):
think that like Clay Thompson feels like the most autistic
man that ever was, And I wish we were actively
just saying that instead of pretending like he's just different,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Like I think to the net, to the whole thing
is like that is all he is. That's all it is,
is like a rewiring. That is all it is. Is
He's just different. But I guess I want to put
a name on what's what's weird about it? No, I
And I guess to your point, I don't actually want
a name on it. I don't really want Clay Thompson
to give some speech where he's like, I think I'm autistic,
(20:38):
because like that would that would be hard to And
I'm not saying not to champion champion it, but I
do think sometimes when it becomes of this or that,
that's when you let Charlatan's in, which I think we
see a lot of a lot of stolen autistic valor
out there. Oh boy, a lot of stolen autistic valor.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
A lot of labels getting thrown around that, Uh, maybe
you should just stay in the pocket.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And like personally, I know because my little brother. It's
like it's a process to figure that out. Like it's
you know what I mean, it's it's not you. It's
like not just like oh man, yeah I really I
really like my little pony or whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
No, it's it's been it's been reduced to not fitting
in right, right, And that's not what that is.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
And I think that happens anytime there's like it becomes
an awareness of a problem socially. It's like a lot
of people who are maybe you're just bad at conversing. Yeah,
what I mean.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Maybe you have work to do in terms of the
way that you socialize with other people.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
But that is not a a disorder. That is not
a difference between you and like the wiring of a
more just sort of non you know, a different person. Right.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
This is truly like, no, there's a difference between autism
and not feeling normal every day.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not the same. Yeah. But
that being said, I mean, I'm with my man for
as far as like awareness, I think that all these problems.
It's like awareness for the black community is important. Yeah,
And I'm in no way trying to diminish like yeah,
we should be there should be more awareness for black
autistic people children and adults likewise.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yeah, I almost wish. I guess this is really what
I want. I want Klay Thompson to start doing commercials
for like childhood autism or something like that. Oh, but
he never says like I'm autistic. I just want him
to like do a commercial where he's like, hey, kid, are.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
You really good at basketball? And trains? I see, I
see you're shooting jump shots in a boat. Hat follow
me and it's like, hey, Autism Center, Yeah, I get that,
I'm with that. I thank you, drunk man.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, I think this is a solid question. Yeah that's good. Yeah,
all right, we should take one more breaths. You want
to take one more break?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I think we should take a break after each voicemail.
And then that way we've satisfied all of our many
many many investors, many investors, a lot of corporate relationships
over here, A lot of people were holding space. So
if you do have if you come with us at
us with the cash offer, we will entertain it. Look,
(23:34):
they're they're banging down our door, but somehow I think
we'll hear your knock if it comes through exactly, Ye,
we'll be back and I am a very bad good
(23:58):
boy and we are back. WHOA, I don't think that
sounds as good as you think it does, very bad boy.
No it doesn't. Yeah, it makes this thing like you're
just like not that good a nice guy. No, but
it's still good. Do you think you're a great good guy? No,
I don't think I'm a good guy. Damn. I don't
(24:20):
know why. That just it like got cold in here.
You looked inside of me.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, I think I'm a I think I possess qualities
of a good person, and I think that I strive
most days to put out goodness in the world, or
at least keep people at a calm neutral.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
But I don't know that that every I think it's
it becomes dangerous to put good and bad on like
some binary of what people. I think. I'm like just
a dude. You think you're not neutral, or you think
you're not positive or negative. I think I have a
want to be net positive, I think via but via actions,
(25:10):
I hope net positive.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I I I'm not sure, but I hope. Where do
you think you said? Are you a good person.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
More than I'm a bad person? Yeah? I think the
positive even when it comes down to actions and thoughts
like and and things like that. I think that the
positives outwigh the negatives.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
If we're talking about thoughts, though, I think you don't
get to escape that.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh that might be bad. That's what I mean. I
have to filter a lot of things to get to
the good of it. Yeah, I think that's where I
factor in, like the lived part of it. It's not just.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
What you you know what I mean, Like I'm holding doors,
I'm saying please and thank you as much as I can.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
I am. I am acknowledging the life around me as
actively as I can to like communicate not just with
the people next to me, but the people globally that
that are experiencing human tragedy. Like all of those things
matter to me.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Yeah, But then I also think some vile, really rotten
things about all kinds of stuff that I get.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
That, but I think the output is kind of ultimately
what I mean, that's obviously you're cross to bear. But
like a lot of people think a lot of terrible
things and put that out I think that the fact
of you not putting that out there and identifying it
is filth already sort of puts you in the better
than not camp. Yeah, that's why I think it category,
or rather why I think it's dangerous to make it
(26:37):
just this weird binary and so I think at the
end of the day, good bad, Like I don't know,
I bet there.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
It's the reason this Pope shit is so exhausting to
me is like the I was listening to a podcast
where like the journalists saw the the fucking white smoke
go up in the air and like or black smoke,
I don't remember which one it is, but but the
smoke went up in the air and like was running
and you could hear him in his voice.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
There's smoke. There's smoke. I gotta get there. And they're
like running to meet the new man who is meant
to be the god above other men. And that feels crazy.
We're talking about a virgin from Chicago. That's not a
you guys don't really do that over there. That's not anything.
(27:25):
That's not really a Chicago ass tree. Now, from what
I understand about, made dick shaped food a signature you're
gonna get some. Yeah, if there's one thing they're going
to do in Chicago, it's fight a way to get warm.
(27:48):
Who hey, Dick to freeze bottoms. No, you see sweet
at the leather. It's such a level of thing. You
(28:09):
don't even need bottoms for this bottom. That's the craziest person.
But just like numbers wise, if you think about the
number of pellies in Chicago that's happened, it's definitely happened.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Somebody's fucked you with the pelly with no bottoms on. God,
it's crazy, though. You really gotta you know, because this
is how it happens. It's not what the what you
the listener at home, viewer at home is imagining is
that this person somehow took all their clothes off and
put the pelly back on as like a show of
who they are. But that's how they That's not it.
(28:53):
That's not how it happens in real life. I guess
that's the movie silly version, right, that's what David, Yeah,
I'm saying at the real way that it happens is
you fuck a lady in the bathroom and then you
gotta take your pants off all the way and now
all of a sudden, I don't know why, but for
some reason, the pants come off all the way and
now suddenly you're fucking a lady. But you didn't take
(29:15):
the pelly off because that's not the priority a T.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Shirt and nobody. Yeah, maybe that's still bad. It's still
bad as that to me was more egregious than maybe
with the because if you just put it back on,
that's a flex. It's an insane flex. But it's so
funny because I think about it, if I hand, I
think about it as a really skinny guy.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yeah, it's always a really skinny, really skinny guy in
not taking his pelly off.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, yeah, that's too much. I can't fucking this pelly
all explode.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
No, this is like a little little Timothy shallow May
in a pelly Yo.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
He seems like he would pull up in a pelly
like that doesn't even seem outside of his wheelho. Nah.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
He makes me a little uncomfortable with that, but yeah, no,
I don't disagree with his dress, just sort of this
I never trust and this is maybe my own insecurity.
I have a hard time trusting white guy with a
little too much swag in New York being the justification, Oh,
(30:21):
I think whenever it's like, oh, I'm just from the
city and therefore have had access to all of this
growing up. It kind of makes me go. Yeah, but
you still chose that.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Because also, even within a city, your world is still
fairly small. Right, Your community didn't do that, right, right,
You chose what that was for you, and that feels intentional,
especially when like your community doesn't reflect that same aesthetic. Yeah,
because your friends aren't necessarily that. Who knows me, I
(30:55):
don't know about that little guy seems stumming around in
big as booties and yeah, I think good good. Uh,
we got one last voicemail.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, we got one more voicemail. It's a it's a
long motherfucker. So let's see how this goes.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Hey David, Hey Langston, this is Devon calling out of Brooklyn.
First off, just want to say thanks a lot for
the podcast. Listen every day y'all fucking stupid, But uh,
you got a little mama calling out of Brooklyn named Davon.
I really just wanted to talk about this new trend
of straight dudes that don't like women.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah, brother, that is not new all this time. Most
of the straight man I've known my whole life.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Yeah, that's not some new ship all with all of
that heart.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah, it's like a very odd way to move through
the world. Whatever. Here we are the fuck.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Is going on as two heterosexual men. That sounds like
y'all like y'all women. Yeah, and me as a gay
man who has slept with a lot of straight men.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Congratulations.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Boy, tell me y'all heterosexuals really don't like each other.
And I don't like.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
This is a little bit of where I start to go.
I guess I get a little confused. He said he's
a homosexual gentleman, proud of you, uh, who has slept
with a lot of heterosexual men. Yes, straight man is
how he's describing them.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
And I guess it is about how you identify right
that if you identify as a straight person, then that
is your who you are in essence. But is there
any that we don't put an asterisk on that straight?
If you? I think what he means is he he's
fucked a lot of dudes who probably have families and
(33:00):
girlfriends who also don't identify. Because I've known gay guys
like that where they're like, i'd be knocking these straight
dudes down. Yeah, I think that's like a a pretty common.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
But that's what I'm saying, is is it's only straight
because that is how they're saying they are not because like,
we don't just change, We don't get to be like,
hey man, you gay.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I don't know, man, I think I think for a
buy or something, we don't just get to qualify. I
think we can do that, but I think these people
are people that you would never know. Yeah. So it's like,
so he's saying, how who they are in their world?
Is I think who they are? Yeah? I think that's
I think that's more.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
What it means.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I think that makes sense and that I guess maybe
is what the answer to that that concern would be
when we are asking people to identify themselves.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Yeah, it does seem like a lonely pursuit to be
a gay guy who mostly has sex with straight guys.
If it seems like it would ultimately lead you feeling
more alienated. It also feel, I don't know, we gotta
get a gay guy on you ask him. It feels
scarier to me too. It feels like it it probably
lends itself to more violence because of straight men wanting
(34:11):
to protect ego. Yeah, inside of whatever that is, I've
also heard a lot of my like gay dudes that
I've met, they always talk about and they always talk
about you can't group anybody. But I've know a lot
of gay guys who said that, like their first kind
of whatever in high school was always guys like that,
whoa like straight guys you don't want to tell nobody
or whatever.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I learned a lot today and I'm happy to have
learned it. This. I had some growing to do, and
I grew and that's important. Let's continue.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Don't understand why y'all keep getting together, like get together,
have kids, be miserable around one another, Like it's blowing
my gay eyes, Like I don't really like, bro, you
don't have to get married to or be like I
(35:02):
don't know, man, it's just it's just like, yeah, I
got other options. This porn just jack off, Like stop.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Trying to That's where I'm gonna stop it. This feels personal, bro,
It's starting to feel like maybe you got scorn and
that sucks and I'm sorry for you and ship like that.
But I don't know, man, there's like I know, also,
I've also known women in my life who don't seem
to particularly like men at all, Yes, still end up
being with me, you know, I think it's just like
(35:31):
our plight. Man, there's just like and I can't speak
to the non binary stuff, so I don't. I don't
know too much. But as far as like sort of
like system, yeah, I know. I've definitely known women who
are like, yeah, I don't I don't like anything they
got going on. Yeah, no, I I think I think
in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Uh what What what is being analyzed is the ship
framework of our culture, where like we've created systems where
we are meant to pursue lifelong companion and ship with
people when that's not really how you envision your life
going and therefore can't even stand the idea of spending
(36:08):
that much time with any person, much less the ones
you're attracted to, you know.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
What I mean, where you're just like, no, fucking I
just want to be alone. I just don't want that,
but I know I'm supposed to, so I commit to it.
And here I am like, I think there's a level
of like just general disgust we all have for each other,
and unfortunately, men have been empowered the most and therefore
(36:34):
are the most like glaring examples of being just malicious
towards the people we didn't really like in the first place. Yeah,
you do worry about that isolation though, it's like, will
we get anything done if we all retreat within ourselves? Yeah,
I think it's scary.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Shit, I think there's a reason we have an instinct
to procreate.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean to this though, it does
feel like he got he got burned recently a little bit, right, Oh,
I mean, oh yeah, he not drunk. Yeah, it feels
like and I'm sorry, you know what that guy he
lives in Bushwick. Yeah, he's an asshole. And he's an asshole.
(37:16):
And you know what his podcast because I think he
was a guy who has a podcast. Oh nice? Yeah,
yeah no. And also, jacking off doesn't make up for pussy. Guys,
we all know that's that's that's you know that you're
being crazy. You know that we all know masturbation isn't
the real regardless of what you identify as skinned, the
skin is skinned to skin.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
I say pussy, but I'm it's the royal pussy whatever
you like that pussy's capitalized.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
It's whatever you're into, it's our pussy puss, all right,
get live.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Like, straight dudes really don't be liking these women, like
they don't like it really sounds like they want to
be with dudes sometimes to me, to me personally and
listening to straight dudes, and as a gay man that
I like dudes, So I literally watch dudes like a
good majority of my life. In my life, I'm looking
(38:18):
at dudes probably the way most straight men look at
women like I'm all the time. I'm not like jumping
on them and pouncing on him like niggas on the
street be doing. Because I am respectable and I don't
want to get into fights. But straight dudes and straight
women really be acting weird nowadays. Well.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Yeah, one of one of the things I think it
is worth pointing out for this person is that is
that that fear of getting in a fight is very
different for a gay man than.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
It is for a straight man. Yeah, And I think
that's in part the reason why straight men are as
reckless with not liking women and mistreating women the way
that he's describing, Oh, because there's not the backlash what
you're gonna do? Beat my ass? And the fact that
I'm not afraid of you means that I then feel
this dominance over you, and it creates all these moments
(39:15):
for me to do some fuck shit that otherwise if
it were like me squaring off against a man my size,
we'll be a little more careful with the way I
speak to them. That's true, that's fair. There is like
that's fucked up. That's not me you're saying. It's also
like there is I've known dudes like that. I like.
(39:36):
I think when you think about it, you can think
of dudes who come to your mind immediately where you're like,
it's always kind of jarring for me. And maybe that's
because I like women or whatever. It's always kind of
jarring when it's like you're like, oh, you don't, You're like,
you're not like glad they're around.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
Like.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I also think that's why they picked these you know,
these big old, fucking giant men will pick these teeny
tiny little ladies. There's no chance I lose to this fight.
It's not even This is a teeny tiny person that
I will protect, and if they don't want my protection,
(40:16):
I'll mush them.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Like I think it truly is that. I don't know
if I go with that. I don't know if I think.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
I don't think it's I don't think it's as active
like front of brain thinking, but I do think it's
some animal brain shit where you're like, I am protector
and I should protect the smallest of the herd type shit.
And then I think that can morph evolve into something
else for people.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
I think it's more bullshit beauty standards than it is
like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I think the beauty standards are rooted out of something animal.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
But like, so there's so like to that thinking. Then
there's like a size of women where he's like, I
don't want to be with her because she don't need
my protection. I don't think if you're that kind of size,
I don't think you even think that, Like well, I
think I don't. Again, I don't think it's an active thought.
I think it's one that's like lizard brain shit, where
you are. The reason that we are attracted to certain
(41:12):
types of people is rooted in something in our genealogy, right,
It isn't just beauty standards. And one hundred percent is
shaped by beauty standards or encouraged triggered by beauty standards,
and they can be super fucked up, but it still
exists inside of us somewhere. I don't know, Man, big
ladies begetting cut.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
I that's like, but I'm not My point isn't to
say big ladies don't get knocked down.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
But I mean, I don't even think it's like I
don't even feel like it's like that common of a
thread that I see a big ass dude with a
really tiny lad.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
I think it's much more common than you're given in credit. Maybe,
I mean, i'd have to really look through it, but
like I and like just kind of going through it
over my head. I don't. I think generally women are
smaller than men, so I think there is that, but
I don't think it's like wow, But maybe I think
that's what he's think to me.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
I'm more speaking to the size difference, not the true scale.
It doesn't have to be shacking hoops in order to
that's the quint essential.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's the one.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
If ever, there was a big man little lady combo,
you gotta go to shacking hoops first.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Yeah, he had a good time where. Yeah, I thought
they seem to enjoy each other. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I don't know what happened there, but but let's see
where this is going.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Yeah, let's let's knock it out. This person is.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Well straight more I think women is just like whatever.
But like straight be acting so strange nowadays, Like just
be angry and I'd be like, nigga, do you need
your dick suck? Like, just go to your local you
know what, go to your local fag and just get
your dick stuck and stop worrying about these women sometimes.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Because like I think we gotta make drink because women is.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
A domino does. Like, really, can somebody explain this to me?
Why straight people still doing this whole heterosexual ship if
y'all don't like each other, Yeah, explain it to me.
Make it makes sense.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Y'all.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Y'all are only two straight niggas a trust now because.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
You're already upside down? My man, that sucks. We're the
only two. Oh no, what am I gonna do? I
don't even know how to help. I can't have this
(43:37):
responsibility on my shoulders. No, because he's gonna crash out.
He might be in the midst. This is crazy.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Anyway, Please keep doing the lords because y'all don't only
straight niggas out here that got any sense, especially for
black toothes. All right, take care peace, man.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I really like you giving us compliments. Man, I think
some of that shit too boils down to I don't
think it's so easy for people to just flip this,
you know what I mean? Yeah, I think I think
I think it's probably dude to. I think there's probably
due to like if they could, they would fuck do.
That's just not the get down I see. I think
(44:19):
I think women are more empowered to try. But I've
also met women who tried to go to women and
they were like, it just doesn't just doesn't hit.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
I think there's a big difference between exploration and like
your true like inner self.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
And what you want to do. Usually the most base
desires are not necessarily connected to like the things that
you choose out in the world right right, right right,
And Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
You can explore and try things and be with people
and then be like that wasn't That's not ultimately where
I know I'm supposed to land.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
I think ultimately, I think ultimately, I think a lot
of it, man is like we're just kind of stuck
with each other. I think it's I think, just bye,
what this everybody would have you believe. I think it's
maybe better now than it ever has been. Yeah, you know,
and I think, but I think we're just kind of
(45:11):
that's just how it is man. I also think.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
I think, at the end of the day, yes, absolutely,
undoing of so much of like patriarchal like thinking would
empower more people to explore their queer desires right or
to really like challenge themselves in an honest way when
they're with a person that makes them so miserable that they're, like,
(45:37):
to his point, wanting to fuck a dude just to
get away from it. And and one hundred percent, if
we worked on fucking taking down the way that we
treat women and replacing it with something even half as
reasonable as where we are, it would change the way
that people approach this shit. That said, what fantasy do
(45:59):
we live in? I also think that we re you
know what I mean, redistribute power that way.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
And I think to speaking to not living in a fantasy,
I think there's a lot of external factors with these
angry guys. It's not just women, yeah, you know what
I mean. I think that's also to be clear, you
know what I mean, I think there's like women is
just one of these guys problems, right, you know what
I'm saying, Like, there's a lot I think maybe you
(46:24):
are focused on the sexual aspect a little more then
it's like, why are people miserable? Is that the question
we're asking? Because it's also mean to his bills. He
just you don't talk to them these he ignores the
fun out of it. Yeah, exactly exactly. But I think,
I mean, I don't know, man. I think people are
(46:46):
just having a tough time, and we get we give
them some grace as much as we can. I think
it is important to understand it as much as you
are watching. I think maybe this becomes a thing where
you're looking for it specifically because there are a lot
of straight people who are just happy with it. Yeah
about it. Yeah, I'm happy with it. I like it.
I like monogamy and all that stuff. I think that
(47:08):
they're I think sometimes it's like you're looking for a problem.
You're going to find one. The troll on the.
Speaker 8 (47:14):
Streets hell hello, does every time a new man hello.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Hello? So yeah, I mean I think there is that.
I think maybe loosing your grip a little bit.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
But no, I think I think you said it, and
I think it's a nice way to cap it off.
I do think giving these people a little bit of
grace to figure out who they are is at its essence,
how queer people are able to come out and be
their best selves, and so yeah, let these queer dudes
(48:03):
work it out for themselves slowly.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Yeah, because life is hard if you're in the middle
of the spectrum to really figure out what that shit
is like, let alone being somewhere as perceived as outside.
It seems like that's like a I think some people
have a harder path to it than you, who seem
like very sure of yourself and what you like. Yeah,
you know, it's not why you're blowing some backs out you. Yeah,
you sound like you're going crazy. Yeah, I ain't gonna lie.
(48:27):
I was jealous.
Speaker 5 (48:28):
Yeah, you really.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Sound like you're putting numbers up in Brooklyn. And that's
good for you. It's super dope. But some of these,
some of these maybe some of these guys, it's gonna
be harder for them to find it. Yeah, I think
that's fair to say. Man, funny guy though, Yeah, I
like that guy, all right.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
I think we did it pretty did some voicemails. This
is really fun. Yeah, I had a good time.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
Tell the people where they can find you.
Speaker 5 (48:53):
Cool guy.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Joke City seven on Instagram June fifteenth, Come see me
at Littlefield in Brooklyn Patreon dot com, backslash David Bory
go see my buy my special that's on there. It's
like twelve bucks, pretty reasonable. That's it. Yeah, buy this special.
Follow David go see them live and uh as always
(49:14):
you can follow me and Langston Kerman on all social
media platforms. You can send us your own drops, your
own conspiracy theories.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
If you want to tell us all the gay dudes
who are secretly fucking women and what's wrong with them?
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Send it all to my mama. Pot. I don't know
I'm making that. I want to hear you don't ever
hear that twist on the story. No, once you go,
but you that are on the down load with a lady. Yeah, yeah,
you have that story, call in. I would love to
hear about it. That'd be really interesting. Yeah, uh send
(49:48):
us here.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah we did all that, and like subscribe, rate review
by the merch give us a call it a four
four little moms and send us emails and and kiss
the ring my bitch.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Why are you ghee? Who says?
Speaker 8 (50:05):
I gee you a gee?
Speaker 1 (50:11):
My mama told me? Is a production of Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. Greeted and hosted
by Langston Krek, co hosted by David Bori. Executive produced
by Will Farrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilon. Co produced by
Bee Wayne, edited and engineered by Justin Kopfon, music by
(50:32):
Nick Chambers, artwork by Dogon Kreega.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me
on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe to our
channel
I wanted the movie to be about the big titt
magic woman, Like that's what was the best part of
the movie to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. We were
watching it and my girl made the funniest point. We
were watching it and at the end, like when he
dies and she's there. My girl was like, damn, so
she got a breastfeed even in heaven. That was crazy.
(00:25):
You know, she didn't get nothing out of that. Man,
I'm not lying to you when I said when I
say that felt nuts to me. That sucks. I was like,
why would they do that? The baby ain't grown, not none, Bro,
she gotta work. It happened so that all that women
did that whole movie was work you.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
So we just continue capitalism and patriarchy all the way
through eternity.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
The women did not have it good in that movie. No,
that sucked. And then I started thinking about it, and
I was like that man came back and she was like,
I've been praying for you even though you left me.
Hit it. And then it was like, come work for
me some more. And then she died. Come on, cook
some grits. Yeah, come on, you go. I'm having a party.
I need you to cook. It's about to start in
(01:13):
five hours. I don't let nobody else cook for me,
my lady, what I'm thinking about for a while. Chips
in yours a Kuala bears are racist. Also, money's turkey stuff.
(01:40):
Ya can't tell me a lot of chicken from pop byes.
There is there. It is.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
And my mama told me the podcast where we dive
deep into the pockets of black conspiracy year and we
work every day to prove if that were wasting your
goddamn time. Come on, come on, you know what. You
got an hour and a half to lunch. It's slow
on the phones. Come hang out with your friends. Girl
(02:12):
ain't texting you.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Come on, come on this Wednesday, it's Day's day. You
ain't got to see your kids for another four hours.
You go ahead, you play with us. Yeah that's nice. Yeah,
that was good.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, I hope they feel good about it. I went back.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, we're we're gonna do another another motherfucking regular episode.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
D I know, we've had a lot of star studied guests.
People keep calling, They keep saying, David Langston Langston, David,
let us breathe hammered, don't hurt them. So many amazing guests,
Gang after Queen after after they No, it's nice to
(02:58):
do one. Just we have some we've been going crazy
now we've had some dope people. Great conversation. Yeah quite Frankly,
we're only getting better and better, and we'd like you
to pay us for it.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I don't disagree with that. Yeah, yeah, send me money.
He didn't no fight out of me. Frankly, we got
a lot of voicemails.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
We got a lot of voicemails, and we said that
we were going to dedicate this episode to answering some voicemails,
and so I'm just going to jump around. As you
may or may not know, we don't listen to any
of these ahead of time. We are discovering them together
and we'll find out if any of that makes sense
or is worth doing at all. You guys might just
be sending us sadistic shit over and over again, and
(03:41):
we we don't even realize it.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
You might still be getting drunk on calls. I know
that that's that's definitely been a through line and not
calling us sober. And we hope some of you are.
But but if you are still drunk, we will still
talk to you. Yeah, that's the kind of desperate we are.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah, we're just talking drunk strangers. Wee cause we're like,
we've been sitting here making fun of y'all, but we'd
be like, damn, I'm glad he called it. We're not
better than you. No, no, we're not better than you.
And we will not tell you how to live. That's
(04:18):
two promises you get out of us. Ain't nobody telling
you the sober rep Nope. We are uncomfortable at times
when you are calling the way you're calling, but that's
that's for us to work. Come on, man, I don't
I don't want to tell you the cold plunge. I
don't want to tell you to eat towels. All right,
we have let's do a voicemail.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Hey guys, I am a new little mama. I've been
watching the show for a little bit and I just
saw a new episode and I didn't know we could
leave voicemails. I'm like a clip girly, So I just
had a quick question.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay, well, then that's a goddamn shame eight for four
little moms. If you're out there and you don't you
didn't know you could leave voicemails. I don't know how
you're listen listening to this episode hearing a voicemail and
somehow still not knowing you could leave voicemails. Baby girl,
you got other problems? That said eight four or four
little moms, give us a call. We would love to
hear from all the clip girlies, all the clip boy boy.
(05:17):
You gotta hit that ice cube?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Yeah, all right, question for you guys, because when I
heard this concept, it truly blew my mind. So we
always talk about aliens, right, and one day someone told
me they were like, what if Jesus was an alien?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (05:35):
And it made sense because the conversation y'all are having
now with Patrick Cloud, where it's like everything wasn't so
like in the back, back in the day, where it
was all based on like stories and hieroglyphs. Everything may
have seemed like it wasn't literal, but it could have
been literal. So I was thinking, like if Jesus came
from a different planet, or like if they were alien
(05:56):
and they came to Earth and started walking on water
and doing all this stuff like turning you know, grape
juice in the wine that.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Was water like some aliens. It was water. Yeah, grape
juice to wine, that's just how it goes.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, you spend enough time with grape juice, it'll it'll
become wine.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
That sounds like some twisted old man wisdom at the camera.
Dance with the grape to its wine. Gotta you gotta
dance with the grape with crisp wine that you love
your gods off of me. I'm an apple man Jesus
(06:46):
and I'm listening like.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Some new magic alien holy spirit. Oh my god, this
is a miracle kind of stuff to some rock throwing caveman.
I don't know if that makes sense, but that's my question.
Do you guys think or what is your guys opinion
on the possibility that Jesus was real and the Bible
(07:07):
is real, but he was an alien from a different
planet that was like not even the best alien from
his planet, so he came to Earth to like impress
us me andal who oh.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
That took a spin at the end where she's because
she's saying he is like Jesus was super dumb. No no,
no, no other way, no no no, no, I understand, but
she's saying he was not exemplary, exemplary where he came
from and he came down here is a regular dude,
which I get that. I get that you go to
(07:41):
school in the big city, maybe you moved to a
school of a small town. Now all of a sudden
you're starting on their football team, whereas you wouldn't have
done that over there. M hm, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, I when I heard this, I thought less of
Jesus being an alien and more just being a really
like smart dude during a time when everybody else was
maybe a dumb dumb.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I think that's a and I think I don't know
if I believe in the alien thing. I think that
happens a lot. I think there's a lot of times
you'll just hear about people who are super forward thinking
and nobody got it because it was just not a
because this world isn't accommodating to like people who are
that smart.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, No, I don't think that.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I mean I think literally Tesla is named after a
type of man who was that right, you know what
I mean, Like that the Nikola Tesla dude was like
that level of forward thinking and then so much so
also not able to capitalize the same way that, like,
you know what I mean, the other people around him
(08:44):
ultimately did.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
No, you got to be middle smart to get far. Yeah.
I think that's where I'm blessed is I'm not that smart,
but I'm not that dumb. You got it. You can't,
you can't. The smartest people have a really tough time.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yeah, And it's it's part of the reason Elon is
flexing the way that he is and able to sort
of like convince everybody that he's this brilliant mind where
it's like, all right, take your time. Look, man, mistakes happen.
What I'm not gonna do is keep talking through it.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
No, thank you. I'm gonna go ahead and let let
you get myself together. Yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not
gonna feel that it and that's yours to feel on
your own.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
No, this is it's lasting so long. Yeah, I think
you're taking a while. You had a little cough. You
you couldn't quite get out.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
It was a bur I have a drink a sparkling water.
Why even if you drinking sparkling water like that, I
drink still. I drink the coconut.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Guy.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I mean, we come here though, and it's like it's
I still feel like sparkling water is like it's like
getting a free energy drink where you're like, I have
to just I got a juice up monetary like for
money wise, this is they're giving me money. I should
put these in my pocket. I'm gonna take some home.
I'm gonna take some home after this. That's for sure.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
You think I where cargoes on accident. I gotta build
these up.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
With you know what's crazy and we'll get back to Jesus.
Yea cargo pockets are for show because you always feel
like an asshole when you got in the pockets. It's
really hard to move the way you want to.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It's like not it jingles more than it the they
would if they were close to your meat.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
It looks so apparent like it's like it's really for
fashion only, truly fashion and like an actually you know
because even like workmen use like workman jeans. Yeah yeah, yeah,
carpenter jeans.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
This feels like maybe hikers foragers and shiit maybe they
they got back yeah, but it's probably easier because your
backpack also has like your medical kit in your.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
What are you trying to get to in your pockets though. Berries.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
You just put some nuts and some berries in there,
and now sudden you got a little pocket full.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I haven't really transported a lot of berries. I haven't either.
I'm just I'm just presumably. I feel like this rift
died and it was my fault.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
No, I'm not going to take responsibility for it, but
I never was going to.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Anyways. Was Jesus an alien? Possibly? I think so.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I think to me, it feels very likely that this
was just a dude, like you said, who moved to
a small town and figured out he could flex. Yeah,
that feels more realistic to me than an alien. And
the fact that we haven't gotten another version of it
since yeah, you know what I mean, Like, nobody's claiming
that there was like another alien who came down and
(11:33):
did something similar, right, and that means either he was
a much more exalted alien than we realize, or they
are they sent one guy, which seems crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
That's what never makes sense about it to me. But
the one guy theory, to me, does make sense for
her reject idea that it was like a loser who
like kind of escaped. That's that does seem like. It
seems like if it was one guy from an alien
would be that situation where it was not because why
would you send your best out alone? No, that was
the best is always to help the people, right, And
(12:09):
maybe to that point, the fact that he died, they
just presumed he died out and like they never knew
what happened to Jesus. This is what really blasphemous what
I'm about to say. What if it was like when
we sent monkeys to space.
Speaker 6 (12:30):
When the Russians sent that dog, they were like, they
were like, this isn't even Yeah, it was like a
whole other thing.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
We just needed to see if it was safe to
even go over there. And then you killed him. If
it doesn't explode, then awesome, that's cool. We actually thought
it would just blow up.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, we had no faith in this rocket ship whatsoever.
And then you made him a god. Oh y'all not ready,
damn we legit took them, took their space dog. And
(13:11):
they're like he different, Yeah, we should all be like him.
Still still forget you remember when the space dog was here? Yeah,
that motherfucker was cool. Man. Man, the more I'm laughing though,
I think this might just be that's the plot apes
(13:31):
that really is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that shit happens
to me sometimes. I think I have a good idea
and it's just I.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Don't think it's. The plot to Planet of the Apes.
Plot to Planet of the Apes is that apes take
over and then we basically threw a wormhole find ourselves
on a place on a planet where on the planet
where apes have now evolved to be the dominant species.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Okay, so I'm back on board. I told you middle smart,
this episode's going to be our biggest one.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
It feels like the plots of Planet Apes because the
original Mark Wahlberg one is well, the original I guess
is Charleston Heston is him landing onto the planet for
the first time, and you think it's not.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Earth right, right? The Statue of Liberty, Yeah, you damn
dirty apes. Yeah, the whole thing. All right, man, we
take another voicemail. That was beautiful. That was good though. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
No, I think I think there's some possibility that Jesus
was an alien, but more importantly, he wasn't white. That's
all that matters.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Skin of Bronze. Hey, let's take a break first. Let's
take a break. Yeah, break, okay, all right, great, we'll
be back with more. Langston more David and more.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
My mama told me, so, I got dick in the face. Crack.
See if he's okay.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
We're back. Nothing in our faces. No except for the
light of.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
The Lord, sweet sweet, sweet, sweet heaven above signs on
both of us.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Won't he do it? Yes? He will? Uh? We we
got more more voicemails. We we have to to get to.
Here's the here's one that caught my attention. I don't
know if that's a good thing.
Speaker 7 (15:33):
That that voicemail intro is disgusting. And y'all wonder why
you get called little masters or whatever. I don't know
how long I have. But of course I'm drunk.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Okay, wait a minute. Of course we didn't tell you
to get drunk to call us. We've we've largely discouraged it.
We're not We're not mad at you when you do.
I can't repeat that again. You do, but that was
not enough course situation. We're creating a crazy community here,
(16:09):
he said. Of course I'm drunk. Obviously, I'm nude. I'm wasted,
and I'm naked. Kelly is in the background. I've lit
both my more candles and I'm going to call you
to my hero. I A'm gonna call you too, men
(16:32):
who have no issue with any of the things I'm
talking about. Oh, that's so funny, that's great. Of course
I'm drunk.
Speaker 7 (16:39):
What a statement, voice message thing. Of course you be
drunk calls. I'm calling about black autistic people, black people
on the spectrum. You talk about them, you need to
see them. They're hilarious. They need more attention, they need.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Hilarious. Is a dangerous direction you're taking in this trump
drunk friends. I liked what he was saying. At first
he was like, they're they're present, they're real, they exist.
Black people with autism are around us all the time.
And then he was like, and the funny as it?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
All?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Right? Man, I'm not I'm not taking my foot off
the pedal, but I am putting it in neutral. I
don't know what this is. It's treading dangerous.
Speaker 7 (17:24):
Yeah, but what you need to not get be killed.
There we go. Taizonde did more interviews. Apparently romans nonverbal
for three whole years. At least anyway I thought he
was standing Black Nerd. Also, rest of the Check Night
Love Him did that bit about trying to fuck with
a black artistic kid, but just did not fuck with
them back hilarious, love it the more visibility. Elijah mclein
(17:47):
got killed, Katherine Wise and uh, I don't know. I
want better. Y'all are good? And Langston, what are the nunchucks?
They'll get well more than a thousand subscribers.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Mm hm hm hmm. This man is a liar. This
man is a drunk drunk ciet.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Look man, we said it before, we'll say it again.
We ain't keeping that promise.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
It was a media trick. Neither one of us has
the confidence nor the time to truly invest in. I'm
gonna try it.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I really do want to try to learn to use
my nunchucks, but I just don't have it.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I don't want to try to use my harmonica. Whoa
not even a little bit. It's not really Yeah, I
guess it was a pandemic. When do you pull it out?
And how would you pull it out? There's no function
I've ever been to that it would enhance.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
It'd be crazy, because I actually think it'd be cool
if you just had it and you were like, ain't
this crazy?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I have this right?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
But it would be crazy to pull it out and
be good. Yeah, that's people would be like, so David
just brought a harmonica to show us he's good at harmonica.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Yeah, we're now we're eating What was that going to
like when we were eating Greek salad last night?
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Man?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
You know what else is fun to do? And I
gotta hear a song I know, I don't really like,
yeah or recognize, and I'm like, that's the famous harmonica song. Yeah,
you know what I mean by Fats Tuesday. I don't
know what this dude was talking about it all. You
seem to really ramble and stop making sense. Yes, R
Peter Jack, miss you love you. I think he said
(19:22):
the word ketamine at one point.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Elijah McClain, I think is what he said. I don't
think he was saying ketamine.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I think he was referring to that black autistic person
who was shot and killed by the police. I believe.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
And yeah, all right, beat to all the people that
you listed. It got morbid right towards the end. Yeah,
here's dead people, and here's what's tragic about it. I
do here's what I'll talk about that I do think
sort of reminds me of some of the things he
was saying. I do find that there are versions of
black autism that we are not celebrating enough. Like I
(20:00):
think that like Clay Thompson feels like the most autistic
man that ever was, And I wish we were actively
just saying that instead of pretending like he's just different,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Like I think to the net, to the whole thing
is like that is all he is. That's all it is,
is like a rewiring. That is all it is. Is
He's just different. But I guess I want to put
a name on what's what's weird about it? No, I
And I guess to your point, I don't actually want
a name on it. I don't really want Clay Thompson
to give some speech where he's like, I think I'm autistic,
(20:38):
because like that would that would be hard to And
I'm not saying not to champion champion it, but I
do think sometimes when it becomes of this or that,
that's when you let Charlatan's in, which I think we
see a lot of a lot of stolen autistic valor
out there. Oh boy, a lot of stolen autistic valor.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
A lot of labels getting thrown around that, Uh, maybe
you should just stay in the pocket.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And like personally, I know because my little brother. It's
like it's a process to figure that out. Like it's
you know what I mean, it's it's not you. It's
like not just like oh man, yeah I really I
really like my little pony or whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
No, it's it's been it's been reduced to not fitting
in right, right, And that's not what that is.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
And I think that happens anytime there's like it becomes
an awareness of a problem socially. It's like a lot
of people who are maybe you're just bad at conversing. Yeah,
what I mean.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Maybe you have work to do in terms of the
way that you socialize with other people.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
But that is not a a disorder. That is not
a difference between you and like the wiring of a
more just sort of non you know, a different person. Right.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
This is truly like, no, there's a difference between autism
and not feeling normal every day.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not the same. Yeah. But
that being said, I mean, I'm with my man for
as far as like awareness, I think that all these problems.
It's like awareness for the black community is important. Yeah,
And I'm in no way trying to diminish like yeah,
we should be there should be more awareness for black
autistic people children and adults likewise.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yeah, I almost wish. I guess this is really what
I want. I want Klay Thompson to start doing commercials
for like childhood autism or something like that. Oh, but
he never says like I'm autistic. I just want him
to like do a commercial where he's like, hey, kid, are.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
You really good at basketball? And trains? I see, I
see you're shooting jump shots in a boat. Hat follow
me and it's like, hey, Autism Center, Yeah, I get that,
I'm with that. I thank you, drunk man.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, I think this is a solid question. Yeah that's good. Yeah,
all right, we should take one more breaths. You want
to take one more break?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I think we should take a break after each voicemail.
And then that way we've satisfied all of our many
many many investors, many investors, a lot of corporate relationships
over here, A lot of people were holding space. So
if you do have if you come with us at
us with the cash offer, we will entertain it. Look,
(23:34):
they're they're banging down our door, but somehow I think
we'll hear your knock if it comes through exactly, Ye,
we'll be back and I am a very bad good
(23:58):
boy and we are back. WHOA, I don't think that
sounds as good as you think it does, very bad boy.
No it doesn't. Yeah, it makes this thing like you're
just like not that good a nice guy. No, but
it's still good. Do you think you're a great good guy? No,
I don't think I'm a good guy. Damn. I don't
(24:20):
know why. That just it like got cold in here.
You looked inside of me.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, I think I'm a I think I possess qualities
of a good person, and I think that I strive
most days to put out goodness in the world, or
at least keep people at a calm neutral.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
But I don't know that that every I think it's
it becomes dangerous to put good and bad on like
some binary of what people. I think. I'm like just
a dude. You think you're not neutral, or you think
you're not positive or negative. I think I have a
want to be net positive, I think via but via actions,
(25:10):
I hope net positive.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I I I'm not sure, but I hope. Where do
you think you said? Are you a good person.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
More than I'm a bad person? Yeah? I think the
positive even when it comes down to actions and thoughts
like and and things like that. I think that the
positives outwigh the negatives.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
If we're talking about thoughts, though, I think you don't
get to escape that.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh that might be bad. That's what I mean. I
have to filter a lot of things to get to
the good of it. Yeah, I think that's where I
factor in, like the lived part of it. It's not just.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
What you you know what I mean, Like I'm holding doors,
I'm saying please and thank you as much as I can.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
I am. I am acknowledging the life around me as
actively as I can to like communicate not just with
the people next to me, but the people globally that
that are experiencing human tragedy. Like all of those things
matter to me.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Yeah, But then I also think some vile, really rotten
things about all kinds of stuff that I get.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
That, but I think the output is kind of ultimately
what I mean, that's obviously you're cross to bear. But
like a lot of people think a lot of terrible
things and put that out I think that the fact
of you not putting that out there and identifying it
is filth already sort of puts you in the better
than not camp. Yeah, that's why I think it category,
or rather why I think it's dangerous to make it
(26:37):
just this weird binary and so I think at the
end of the day, good bad, Like I don't know,
I bet there.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
It's the reason this Pope shit is so exhausting to
me is like the I was listening to a podcast
where like the journalists saw the the fucking white smoke
go up in the air and like or black smoke,
I don't remember which one it is, but but the
smoke went up in the air and like was running
and you could hear him in his voice.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
There's smoke. There's smoke. I gotta get there. And they're
like running to meet the new man who is meant
to be the god above other men. And that feels crazy.
We're talking about a virgin from Chicago. That's not a
you guys don't really do that over there. That's not anything.
(27:25):
That's not really a Chicago ass tree. Now, from what
I understand about, made dick shaped food a signature you're
gonna get some. Yeah, if there's one thing they're going
to do in Chicago, it's fight a way to get warm.
(27:48):
Who hey, Dick to freeze bottoms. No, you see sweet
at the leather. It's such a level of thing. You
(28:09):
don't even need bottoms for this bottom. That's the craziest person.
But just like numbers wise, if you think about the
number of pellies in Chicago that's happened, it's definitely happened.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Somebody's fucked you with the pelly with no bottoms on. God,
it's crazy, though. You really gotta you know, because this
is how it happens. It's not what the what you
the listener at home, viewer at home is imagining is
that this person somehow took all their clothes off and
put the pelly back on as like a show of
who they are. But that's how they That's not it.
(28:53):
That's not how it happens in real life. I guess
that's the movie silly version, right, that's what David, Yeah,
I'm saying at the real way that it happens is
you fuck a lady in the bathroom and then you
gotta take your pants off all the way and now
all of a sudden, I don't know why, but for
some reason, the pants come off all the way and
now suddenly you're fucking a lady. But you didn't take
(29:15):
the pelly off because that's not the priority a T.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Shirt and nobody. Yeah, maybe that's still bad. It's still
bad as that to me was more egregious than maybe
with the because if you just put it back on,
that's a flex. It's an insane flex. But it's so
funny because I think about it, if I hand, I
think about it as a really skinny guy.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yeah, it's always a really skinny, really skinny guy in
not taking his pelly off.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, yeah, that's too much. I can't fucking this pelly
all explode.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
No, this is like a little little Timothy shallow May
in a pelly Yo.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
He seems like he would pull up in a pelly
like that doesn't even seem outside of his wheelho. Nah.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
He makes me a little uncomfortable with that, but yeah, no,
I don't disagree with his dress, just sort of this
I never trust and this is maybe my own insecurity.
I have a hard time trusting white guy with a
little too much swag in New York being the justification, Oh,
(30:21):
I think whenever it's like, oh, I'm just from the
city and therefore have had access to all of this
growing up. It kind of makes me go. Yeah, but
you still chose that.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Because also, even within a city, your world is still
fairly small. Right, Your community didn't do that, right, right,
You chose what that was for you, and that feels intentional,
especially when like your community doesn't reflect that same aesthetic. Yeah,
because your friends aren't necessarily that. Who knows me, I
(30:55):
don't know about that little guy seems stumming around in
big as booties and yeah, I think good good. Uh,
we got one last voicemail.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, we got one more voicemail. It's a it's a
long motherfucker. So let's see how this goes.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Hey David, Hey Langston, this is Devon calling out of Brooklyn.
First off, just want to say thanks a lot for
the podcast. Listen every day y'all fucking stupid, But uh,
you got a little mama calling out of Brooklyn named Davon.
I really just wanted to talk about this new trend
of straight dudes that don't like women.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah, brother, that is not new all this time. Most
of the straight man I've known my whole life.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Yeah, that's not some new ship all with all of
that heart.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah, it's like a very odd way to move through
the world. Whatever. Here we are the fuck.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Is going on as two heterosexual men. That sounds like
y'all like y'all women. Yeah, and me as a gay
man who has slept with a lot of straight men.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Congratulations.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Boy, tell me y'all heterosexuals really don't like each other.
And I don't like.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
This is a little bit of where I start to go.
I guess I get a little confused. He said he's
a homosexual gentleman, proud of you, uh, who has slept
with a lot of heterosexual men. Yes, straight man is
how he's describing them.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
And I guess it is about how you identify right
that if you identify as a straight person, then that
is your who you are in essence. But is there
any that we don't put an asterisk on that straight?
If you? I think what he means is he he's
fucked a lot of dudes who probably have families and
(33:00):
girlfriends who also don't identify. Because I've known gay guys
like that where they're like, i'd be knocking these straight
dudes down. Yeah, I think that's like a a pretty common.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
But that's what I'm saying, is is it's only straight
because that is how they're saying they are not because like,
we don't just change, We don't get to be like,
hey man, you gay.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I don't know, man, I think I think for a
buy or something, we don't just get to qualify. I
think we can do that, but I think these people
are people that you would never know. Yeah. So it's like,
so he's saying, how who they are in their world?
Is I think who they are? Yeah? I think that's
I think that's more.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
What it means.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I think that makes sense and that I guess maybe
is what the answer to that that concern would be
when we are asking people to identify themselves.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Yeah, it does seem like a lonely pursuit to be
a gay guy who mostly has sex with straight guys.
If it seems like it would ultimately lead you feeling
more alienated. It also feel, I don't know, we gotta
get a gay guy on you ask him. It feels
scarier to me too. It feels like it it probably
lends itself to more violence because of straight men wanting
(34:11):
to protect ego. Yeah, inside of whatever that is, I've
also heard a lot of my like gay dudes that
I've met, they always talk about and they always talk
about you can't group anybody. But I've know a lot
of gay guys who said that, like their first kind
of whatever in high school was always guys like that,
whoa like straight guys you don't want to tell nobody
or whatever.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I learned a lot today and I'm happy to have
learned it. This. I had some growing to do, and
I grew and that's important. Let's continue.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Don't understand why y'all keep getting together, like get together,
have kids, be miserable around one another, Like it's blowing
my gay eyes, Like I don't really like, bro, you
don't have to get married to or be like I
(35:02):
don't know, man, it's just it's just like, yeah, I
got other options. This porn just jack off, Like stop.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Trying to That's where I'm gonna stop it. This feels personal, bro,
It's starting to feel like maybe you got scorn and
that sucks and I'm sorry for you and ship like that.
But I don't know, man, there's like I know, also,
I've also known women in my life who don't seem
to particularly like men at all, Yes, still end up
being with me, you know, I think it's just like
(35:31):
our plight. Man, there's just like and I can't speak
to the non binary stuff, so I don't. I don't
know too much. But as far as like sort of
like system, yeah, I know. I've definitely known women who
are like, yeah, I don't I don't like anything they
got going on. Yeah, no, I I think I think
in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Uh what What what is being analyzed is the ship
framework of our culture, where like we've created systems where
we are meant to pursue lifelong companion and ship with
people when that's not really how you envision your life
going and therefore can't even stand the idea of spending
(36:08):
that much time with any person, much less the ones
you're attracted to, you know.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
What I mean, where you're just like, no, fucking I
just want to be alone. I just don't want that,
but I know I'm supposed to, so I commit to it.
And here I am like, I think there's a level
of like just general disgust we all have for each other,
and unfortunately, men have been empowered the most and therefore
(36:34):
are the most like glaring examples of being just malicious
towards the people we didn't really like in the first place. Yeah,
you do worry about that isolation though, it's like, will
we get anything done if we all retreat within ourselves? Yeah,
I think it's scary.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Shit, I think there's a reason we have an instinct
to procreate.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean to this though, it does
feel like he got he got burned recently a little bit, right, Oh,
I mean, oh yeah, he not drunk. Yeah, it feels
like and I'm sorry, you know what that guy he
lives in Bushwick. Yeah, he's an asshole. And he's an asshole.
(37:16):
And you know what his podcast because I think he
was a guy who has a podcast. Oh nice? Yeah,
yeah no. And also, jacking off doesn't make up for pussy. Guys,
we all know that's that's that's you know that you're
being crazy. You know that we all know masturbation isn't
the real regardless of what you identify as skinned, the
skin is skinned to skin.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
I say pussy, but I'm it's the royal pussy whatever
you like that pussy's capitalized.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
It's whatever you're into, it's our pussy puss, all right,
get live.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Like, straight dudes really don't be liking these women, like
they don't like it really sounds like they want to
be with dudes sometimes to me, to me personally and
listening to straight dudes, and as a gay man that
I like dudes, So I literally watch dudes like a
good majority of my life. In my life, I'm looking
(38:18):
at dudes probably the way most straight men look at
women like I'm all the time. I'm not like jumping
on them and pouncing on him like niggas on the
street be doing. Because I am respectable and I don't
want to get into fights. But straight dudes and straight
women really be acting weird nowadays. Well.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Yeah, one of one of the things I think it
is worth pointing out for this person is that is
that that fear of getting in a fight is very
different for a gay man than.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
It is for a straight man. Yeah, And I think
that's in part the reason why straight men are as
reckless with not liking women and mistreating women the way
that he's describing, Oh, because there's not the backlash what
you're gonna do? Beat my ass? And the fact that
I'm not afraid of you means that I then feel
this dominance over you, and it creates all these moments
(39:15):
for me to do some fuck shit that otherwise if
it were like me squaring off against a man my size,
we'll be a little more careful with the way I
speak to them. That's true, that's fair. There is like
that's fucked up. That's not me you're saying. It's also
like there is I've known dudes like that. I like.
(39:36):
I think when you think about it, you can think
of dudes who come to your mind immediately where you're like,
it's always kind of jarring for me. And maybe that's
because I like women or whatever. It's always kind of
jarring when it's like you're like, oh, you don't, You're like,
you're not like glad they're around.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
Like.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I also think that's why they picked these you know,
these big old, fucking giant men will pick these teeny
tiny little ladies. There's no chance I lose to this fight.
It's not even This is a teeny tiny person that
I will protect, and if they don't want my protection,
(40:16):
I'll mush them.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Like I think it truly is that. I don't know
if I go with that. I don't know if I think.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
I don't think it's I don't think it's as active
like front of brain thinking, but I do think it's
some animal brain shit where you're like, I am protector
and I should protect the smallest of the herd type shit.
And then I think that can morph evolve into something
else for people.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
I think it's more bullshit beauty standards than it is
like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I think the beauty standards are rooted out of something animal.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
But like, so there's so like to that thinking. Then
there's like a size of women where he's like, I
don't want to be with her because she don't need
my protection. I don't think if you're that kind of size,
I don't think you even think that, Like well, I
think I don't. Again, I don't think it's an active thought.
I think it's one that's like lizard brain shit, where
you are. The reason that we are attracted to certain
(41:12):
types of people is rooted in something in our genealogy, right,
It isn't just beauty standards. And one hundred percent is
shaped by beauty standards or encouraged triggered by beauty standards,
and they can be super fucked up, but it still
exists inside of us somewhere. I don't know, Man, big
ladies begetting cut.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
I that's like, but I'm not My point isn't to
say big ladies don't get knocked down.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
But I mean, I don't even think it's like I
don't even feel like it's like that common of a
thread that I see a big ass dude with a
really tiny lad.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
I think it's much more common than you're given in credit. Maybe,
I mean, i'd have to really look through it, but
like I and like just kind of going through it
over my head. I don't. I think generally women are
smaller than men, so I think there is that, but
I don't think it's like wow, But maybe I think
that's what he's think to me.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
I'm more speaking to the size difference, not the true scale.
It doesn't have to be shacking hoops in order to
that's the quint essential.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's the one.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
If ever, there was a big man little lady combo,
you gotta go to shacking hoops first.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Yeah, he had a good time where. Yeah, I thought
they seem to enjoy each other. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I don't know what happened there, but but let's see
where this is going.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Yeah, let's let's knock it out. This person is.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Well straight more I think women is just like whatever.
But like straight be acting so strange nowadays, Like just
be angry and I'd be like, nigga, do you need
your dick suck? Like, just go to your local you
know what, go to your local fag and just get
your dick stuck and stop worrying about these women sometimes.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Because like I think we gotta make drink because women is.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
A domino does. Like, really, can somebody explain this to me?
Why straight people still doing this whole heterosexual ship if
y'all don't like each other, Yeah, explain it to me.
Make it makes sense.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Y'all.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Y'all are only two straight niggas a trust now because.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
You're already upside down? My man, that sucks. We're the
only two. Oh no, what am I gonna do? I
don't even know how to help. I can't have this
(43:37):
responsibility on my shoulders. No, because he's gonna crash out.
He might be in the midst. This is crazy.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Anyway, Please keep doing the lords because y'all don't only
straight niggas out here that got any sense, especially for
black toothes. All right, take care peace, man.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I really like you giving us compliments. Man, I think
some of that shit too boils down to I don't
think it's so easy for people to just flip this,
you know what I mean? Yeah, I think I think
I think it's probably dude to. I think there's probably
due to like if they could, they would fuck do.
That's just not the get down I see. I think
(44:19):
I think women are more empowered to try. But I've
also met women who tried to go to women and
they were like, it just doesn't just doesn't hit.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
I think there's a big difference between exploration and like
your true like inner self.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
And what you want to do. Usually the most base
desires are not necessarily connected to like the things that
you choose out in the world right right, right right,
And Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
You can explore and try things and be with people
and then be like that wasn't That's not ultimately where
I know I'm supposed to land.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
I think ultimately, I think ultimately, I think a lot
of it, man is like we're just kind of stuck
with each other. I think it's I think, just bye,
what this everybody would have you believe. I think it's
maybe better now than it ever has been. Yeah, you know,
and I think, but I think we're just kind of
(45:11):
that's just how it is man. I also think.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
I think, at the end of the day, yes, absolutely,
undoing of so much of like patriarchal like thinking would
empower more people to explore their queer desires right or
to really like challenge themselves in an honest way when
they're with a person that makes them so miserable that they're, like,
(45:37):
to his point, wanting to fuck a dude just to
get away from it. And and one hundred percent, if
we worked on fucking taking down the way that we
treat women and replacing it with something even half as
reasonable as where we are, it would change the way
that people approach this shit. That said, what fantasy do
(45:59):
we live in? I also think that we re you
know what I mean, redistribute power that way.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
And I think to speaking to not living in a fantasy,
I think there's a lot of external factors with these
angry guys. It's not just women, yeah, you know what
I mean. I think that's also to be clear, you
know what I mean, I think there's like women is
just one of these guys problems, right, you know what
I'm saying, Like, there's a lot I think maybe you
(46:24):
are focused on the sexual aspect a little more then
it's like, why are people miserable? Is that the question
we're asking? Because it's also mean to his bills. He
just you don't talk to them these he ignores the
fun out of it. Yeah, exactly exactly. But I think,
I mean, I don't know, man. I think people are
(46:46):
just having a tough time, and we get we give
them some grace as much as we can. I think
it is important to understand it as much as you
are watching. I think maybe this becomes a thing where
you're looking for it specifically because there are a lot
of straight people who are just happy with it. Yeah
about it. Yeah, I'm happy with it. I like it.
I like monogamy and all that stuff. I think that
(47:08):
they're I think sometimes it's like you're looking for a problem.
You're going to find one. The troll on the.
Speaker 8 (47:14):
Streets hell hello, does every time a new man hello.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Hello? So yeah, I mean I think there is that.
I think maybe loosing your grip a little bit.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
But no, I think I think you said it, and
I think it's a nice way to cap it off.
I do think giving these people a little bit of
grace to figure out who they are is at its essence,
how queer people are able to come out and be
their best selves, and so yeah, let these queer dudes
(48:03):
work it out for themselves slowly.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Yeah, because life is hard if you're in the middle
of the spectrum to really figure out what that shit
is like, let alone being somewhere as perceived as outside.
It seems like that's like a I think some people
have a harder path to it than you, who seem
like very sure of yourself and what you like. Yeah,
you know, it's not why you're blowing some backs out you. Yeah,
you sound like you're going crazy. Yeah, I ain't gonna lie.
(48:27):
I was jealous.
Speaker 5 (48:28):
Yeah, you really.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Sound like you're putting numbers up in Brooklyn. And that's
good for you. It's super dope. But some of these,
some of these maybe some of these guys, it's gonna
be harder for them to find it. Yeah, I think
that's fair to say. Man, funny guy though, Yeah, I
like that guy, all right.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
I think we did it pretty did some voicemails. This
is really fun. Yeah, I had a good time.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
Tell the people where they can find you.
Speaker 5 (48:53):
Cool guy.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Joke City seven on Instagram June fifteenth, Come see me
at Littlefield in Brooklyn Patreon dot com, backslash David Bory
go see my buy my special that's on there. It's
like twelve bucks, pretty reasonable. That's it. Yeah, buy this special.
Follow David go see them live and uh as always
(49:14):
you can follow me and Langston Kerman on all social
media platforms. You can send us your own drops, your
own conspiracy theories.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
If you want to tell us all the gay dudes
who are secretly fucking women and what's wrong with them?
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Send it all to my mama. Pot. I don't know
I'm making that. I want to hear you don't ever
hear that twist on the story. No, once you go,
but you that are on the down load with a lady. Yeah, yeah,
you have that story, call in. I would love to
hear about it. That'd be really interesting. Yeah, uh send
(49:48):
us here.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah we did all that, and like subscribe, rate review
by the merch give us a call it a four
four little moms and send us emails and and kiss
the ring my bitch.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Why are you ghee? Who says?
Speaker 8 (50:05):
I gee you a gee?
Speaker 1 (50:11):
My mama told me? Is a production of Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. Greeted and hosted
by Langston Krek, co hosted by David Bori. Executive produced
by Will Farrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilon. Co produced by
Bee Wayne, edited and engineered by Justin Kopfon, music by
(50:32):
Nick Chambers, artwork by Dogon Kreega.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me
on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe to our
channel
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.