October 14, 2025 • 50 mins
Is Optimus Prime a c**n who betrayed his fellow cars? David wonders how long it is too long to keep your eyes closed in the barber's chair. Langston has one of the most unhinged conspiracy theories yet submitted to the podcast: Did Optimus Prime betray the Autobots by supporting the human race? Y'all see how we treat cars? Disgusting! Plus, the guys answer two voicemails. The first caller states that robot slang anthropomorphizes robots, and the second thinks Diddy purposely cast Anthony Mackie as Tupac in Notorious, the caller's only connection to the legendary rapper.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
No, it really is hard to get to that third
act and to wrap that story up. And we saw
that early in R. Kelly's interpretation of Trapped in the
Club interpretation, I said that, I said that is if
as if Homer had his version.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
No, a lot of people don't know it was actually
a Greek epic. Yeah, and then he just repurposed it.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
It's in the Iliad if you read it.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I know the translation is a little confusing, but it
is like a major part of the It.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Does say, oh my god, a rubbers.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Racist money as they stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I can't tell me.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Some people say, you know that, can't believe jamecta.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We have a buck swet team. We have no one
Berries and no one Junior Zanka. Welcome a lot to
another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
The podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Theories and we finally work to prove whatever the fuck it.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Is we want to do. This is our house, baby, bitch.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
We choose we want to talk about the games meet
for fifteen minutes we're gonna do we.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Let's address that right now.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So apparently one of you, one of you doesn't care
for the fact that we talked about the games meat
for as long as we did, and let's be clear,
we didn't remember doing it, not at all.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Don't give a fuck, not at all. We will talk
about anybody's meat for as long as we need to. Yeah,
Bo Jackson, yup, what do you think it does? Like strong? Oh,
he's so strong? Yeah, he's so You don't think steroids
played a part in the boat the bo Jackson, I
don't think it takes your dick down. I think it
(02:11):
shrinks your balls. Oh, I think I always assumed dick
was part of it. No, I think it's just balls,
which is like, I don't really care.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I think that's maybe explains why so many men don't
give a fuck.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
You mean, oh, my balls are gonna get smaller and
my meat's gonna look larger.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
And I'm buffer, Yeah, I actually do not give a
shit if I have small balls, not even a little bit.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Nope.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Anyways, I have some pressing. No, I have some pressing
that I've been wanting to talk to you about. And
I'm really glad we can get into it right now.
Let's do it when you are getting a haircut. Yeah,
and this is and this is directly tied to this
is I think a reason you need a father in
your life if you're a black man, black male father. Yeah,
(02:55):
when you're getting a haircut, do you find how long
are you closing your eyes for? Oh hmmm, because I
have recently started to get self conscious.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I think I'm doing it too much.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Oh I think you know when he's like, you know,
because when they're doing the front, you keep it closed.
But sometimes I'm just like keeping it closed, like getting
a haircut, like just like and then I'm like, oh shit,
this is like this is weird. Sometimes been closed for
so long.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Sometimes it's more of a sensual experience than you would like.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah, yeah, And I think had I had a man around,
and I've been doing it since I was little in
the barber and now I'm like looking back over life
of like a long time I closed in the chair.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
And do you.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Think that your dad, had he been there taking you
to the barbershop, he'd have been like, open your eyes, boy,
you don't close your eyes for another man's touch.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I think that my dad is I pretend him to
be to continue raising myself. Yes, I think he would
have said that. I think my father would have been drunk.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
But I think you think the sober Keith David as father. Yeah,
that took you to the barbershop, and it would tell
you to open your eyes.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Because sometimes in your head that's who you rely on
because you're like, okay, I am, but that's whatever. Let
me get Keith David and I hear open up your eyes, boy. Yeah,
And I because I'd be like sometimes I'd just be
sitting there getting a haircut.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Here's here's what I'll say.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I've grown more comfortable closing my eyes and less comfortable
making eye contact. Interesting, I think I get much more
wary of like the moment where getting that lineup in
our eyes meet, right, that is a true, like concerning
issue for me.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
That's tough because his meat is on your shoulder, You're
in his territory.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
He couldn't be giving me a better leapt dance. The
crazy thing.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Is because I took so I took one time we
had to get haircuts for a wedding. Yeah, and one
of the guys in the bridal party was white. And
I took a white guy to a black barber. Oh cool,
And he was like, I've never had a man touch
me that much, And then I never thought about it
as essential experience because I'm so used to it. And
then after that I started thinking about it. But then
(05:22):
I but since then the eyes closed, I just don't
because sometimes I pan out and I see him in
the barber shop and I'm like, what I'm worried about
is my eyes are closed and I'm smiling, oh, because
I'm enjoying the experience. So because you don't go relaxing,
especially when he pushes your ship when you're and then
he's got the straight razor.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yes, but I don't want to be back there like yeah,
like that's crazy. You don't want him to think you're
a horn up.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, And I think that a man would have been like, hey,
open your eyes, open your eyes.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Always get your hair, yeah, get your haircut with the
back to the door. Whatever. There's like I feel like
there's always like some unwritten man rules hand when the
niggas cutting your hand.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah, I always feel like that, like there's some unwritten
man rules that I missed.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
It is it is. It is one of the more
vulnerable things that we don't ever call out for having
its queer associations, and that ship has a lot of
like vulnerable moments in it. Get your haircut? Yeah, like deeply,
like truly.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
The amount of times that a strange man has pressed
his finger to my lip to line up my mustache
is unnerving.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, or yeah. Just the whole act of it is
like very intimate. He's on you, he's pushing you, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Which I think is why barbers have to be as
homophobic as they.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Are, because what they're doing is kind of get it's
so gay. I think it's kind of the gayest thing
because he's just blending, yeah, blending.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
He's just touching your He's touching your bottom lips.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
So you gotta be like, I hate this ship, Yeah,
you hate how you make me feel. You're right, fuck y'all.
How many bottom lips did you touch today? I didn't
touch one. I ain't touch any bottom lips. How about that?
Not one? No, I'm not, I have children. I'ming.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I just I was singing about it, and I was like, man,
it's just like, am I closing my eyes too much?
Speaker 3 (07:28):
It's a good question. My guess is no.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I think that a barber is more comfortable with you
closing your eyes than anything else. If you're not gonna talk,
I don't talk very much something. It depends on that.
My barber is a chatty motherfucker. So I don't I
don't really get a choice, but oh but I I have. I. Yeah,
you gotta talk or you gotta shut shut the whole
(07:54):
system down.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Well, I'm in the new phase too. It's like the
beginning of a relationship where you don't want her to
know how crazy you are after you captured it. Yeah,
so like I'm like not talking at all, Like I
don't want him to know I'm a comedian yet You're
not ready. No, So today when I got a cut,
he was like, we got going the rest of the day.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I was like, man, bullshit, a little bit of this,
a little bit of that. I gotta go record a podcasts. Yeah, he'
like what podcast? And then you got to explain I
gotta be.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Like, it's not fifty one fifty Yeah, it ain't one
of the three.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
You know, it's not. When you're gonna look at the
clips and be like cool, No, we're not gonna get
Corey hulkme on. No, No, we don't have we don't
have a co host who doesn't say anything but has
huge titties. Oh man, that's a that's a real market.
We have it we have to tap into. Yeah yeah, yeah,
(08:54):
just big breasted, don't say nothing, ass lady.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I'm on man hip hop media man, which we're not
a part of. So that's you know, yeah, but we'll
get there. Well, I don't think we will.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I don't think we will. I don't think we will ever. Yeah,
be a part of true hip hop, No, I don't
think so.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
I think that here's what I think is gonna happen.
I think that enough rappers are gonna fuck around with
us that we are going to end up in hip
hop media spaces on accident, and I think they're not
going to be happy with our behavior. But I do
think that we will end up accidentally on a bunch
(09:34):
of those sites and in those circles because of getting
rappers who we sort of know to come fuck with us.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
I can see that.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
You know what I'm worried about is I don't think
we're gonna add any space. Like, remember we were talking
like a couple of weeks ago. It runs together since
we moved to LA. I'm truly talking to you all
the time. Yeah, we were talking to you were like
I think when we do essence fest.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
We're gonna be fucked. So yeah, people were like, when
we do US and Specs and they find out what
we said, yeah, they're gonna hate it. But then I'm like,
where do we get to go? We've been saying crazy
shit about the NBA, probably a lot of just straight
up wrong ship.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Absolutely Hill, Jamel Hill couldn't have corrected me more often
in our conversation.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Come on, man, we kind of hate comedy. Yeah, where
are we gonna go? Hey, we hang out with Joe Budden,
We got each other, big day, let's go. Here we go,
and we're gonna need it because this ship is going
nowhere fast. Oh man, I'm just kidding. We love you guys.
I'm not having such a good time. The best day
on my line. This is so fun.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
We were here, we we're doing a Lengths and the
David episode. We're gonna talk. We're gonna listen to some voicemail. Yeah,
fucking talk some ship. Is there anything you want to
talk about?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
That barber thing was sitting heavy on my head?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Also, though I do want you guys to like comment
about length of time eyes closing the barbershop.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I think that's yeah, weigh in really let's get activated
on this. We need to know how long it's too
long to close your eyes or is there too long?
Is the onus more on the barber himself.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
And not you? And we've been made to believe it's
our responsibility to not close our eyes and smile a
little bit while we're getting our haircut.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Because you know it's fucked up. Once I kind of
started feeling that way bad about it, I went to
my second fake daddy, which was black stand up comedy.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
That's a bad dad.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I'm not doing great out here, and no bits about it, okay,
I couldn't find any bits about it, And I was like,
I was like, I could have swore, like somebody would
have got to that. No, maybe is it people are ashamed?
Should I be ashamed of how much?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think more people are closing their eyes than you realize?
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
I hope so, man, I think I think a lot
of people are closing their eyes. I go to the shop,
I see people closing their eyes. Yeah, how much?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
You You don't though too much? I got kids. I'd
be asleep, okay, I'll like axing for you.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I'll like fully fall asleep, but then I'll wake up
really embarrassed. Okay, like it's not I don't feel proud
of sleep. I'm and I'm the worst place to be embarrassed.
I'm stealing winks and then waking up and being like, god,
I hope they didn't notice it.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Oh boy if they saw.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
That, especially now, because I meant like, man, my shit's
like Barbara Gladiator Gladiator school. Bro. So you walk into
my shit and it's like they got like twenty five
thirty chairs downstairs. Wow, and then you gotta go upstairs
where there's five, which is.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Like that's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah, you gotta
move past. You gotta move through this fucking gauntlet.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yeah, a lot, a lot of blond braided studs like
hauling me nah, deep in my eyes, looking man as
you walk in.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
My dream's got a tooth pick. My dream is to
elevate to like at home service. Oh oh that would
be amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I really want to be able to like move past
the need for the barbershop the way that I currently am.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I yeah, because I feel like there was like, at
this age, I'm not getting anything new, m and I
have friends to talk.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
To, right, There was a period where, like I remember
when I was a boy. My barber told me that
pregnant pussy was the warmest pussy.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yes, I've heard that. And I didn't get a parking lot,
but the same thing. And I remember how formative that
was for me, not necessarily in a good way. You
got a couple of kids, y'all.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Yeah, warm, But he he said that, and it's sort
of like introduced a premise of like differences and things.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That did not exist in me. And I don't know
if that's a good thing or a bad thing, or
if I need to unpack this trauma elsewhere. Yeah, that said,
there was a time where somebody could say something and
I'd be like, oh, I never considered it. Right now,
I'm thirty eight years old. I've considered all of it. Yeah,
I've done wrong. Yeah, and now I gotta be like, well,
(14:18):
this nigga's wrong. But yeah, I guess it's funny or
it's not or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
But I had about four years out in the wilderness though,
where I was like cutting my hair own air, not
going to barbershops for nothing. This is a really terrible
time for me. Yeah, I was cutting No, this is
this is probably like I graduated high school in oh five. Oh,
this was a poverty choice. No, it was. We moved
to a super rural area in the country. So from like.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Seventeen to like twenty three formative cut years, I was
just I didn't cause I just lived out there. And
then I went to school in Oakland and this dude
named this dude named Freak was cutting my hair, but
he steals bro so he got caught like robbing other
people's houses and I was like, no, I'm not coming
(15:09):
over here.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Oh, he wasn't stealing from you. He was stealing, but.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
He was stealing from everybody in the because it was
like a little last It was like the last chance
you type of situation, you know what I mean. So
it was like a little town people who were from
that town, and then a bunch of dudes from Dallas
who were huge but couldn't read right.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
These people had come from somewhere else. We're trapped in
this space and were then making wild choices.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
There was like twelve dudes who were supposed to go
to Texas Tech there, right, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Those those guys are the biggest bummer to be around
on planet Earth. Man, A dude who had all the
makings of making it and then didn't is like a
fucking oof. That's hard to be around. Yeah, it's a
tough you're seeing dreams die. Like I remember we were
in class the first day, like freshman orientation, and like
(16:01):
we had to do like my little orientation group. You
had to go up and say what you wanted to do,
and I want to do radio at the time, and
everybody's laughing. But then like six dudes were like, shill,
hopefully make it to the league, and I was like, bro.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I hate to hear that out loud, because I was twenty,
I had been out, I left home early, I had
had an apartment, Like I knew life could be bleak. Yeah,
but these guys were like gifted athletes. They just couldn't
read well, so they didn't even know life was sad yet.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
But it also is one of those things where I
think the guys that make it to the league just
say I am going to the league, do you know
what I mean? And the guys that end up at
like a junior college in the middle of nowhere are like, shit,
maybe I could if this happens, and this happens, I
fly to Italy, then I could go to and it's.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Like, oh, you're not gonna know. These are football guys
I'm talking about. There's a football school. Yeah, they had basketball,
but I don't think they were like either one.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
It's like truly, like, oh, the ones I think, the
people who are like I am going to the league
are the ones that are able to overcome the odds
whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Did you ever think that? No? I knew? Yeah, same.
I mean my dad.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
My dad is the tallest person in the history of
our family and he's six' to.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Two, okay there you know WHAT i.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Mean, like UNLESS i became like truly the, point, god
it wasn't, happening and it wasn't that LIKE i could
see the vibes around.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
ME i.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
WAS i was like third string on my on my
high school. TEAM i wasn't about To that's the thing
you could tell early if you're not GONNA i was
the funniest dude on the, team THOUGH i knew that.
Early and look at you, now we're all those first
string guys not being.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Funny come, on they ain't got a podcast and not,
hooping not hooping outside the twenty four.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
They probably listened to fifty one to fifty but they
ain't got a.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Podcast, yeah and then she said in my, ear go,
deeper stay with me, now and what hurt me IS
(18:12):
i was already all the way in.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Those do a Voice, anyways we have a lot of
fun voice mails from people this. Month this one immediately
caught my. Attention we'll kick off with. This this will be,
fun fun way to start.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
STARTED i didn't know the beat was the beat come
on down the stream In, brooklyn so it GETS.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I didn't know the beat was the? Beat?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Motherfucker what was? It he's probably, drunk all, Right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Well that's just the way it. Is all, right here's the.
Deal all my friends KNOW i HATE. AI i Hate chad.
THOUGHTS i find them abominable in the. Reason so they're
always sending me ANTI ai memes AND i never received
any of these with the quote UNQUOTE ai until the
same week all of a, sudden all of them were, clanker,
(19:05):
cogsucker whatever the.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
FUCK i didn't say that second. ONE i think that's
a deplorable.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Word i've never heard either of those. WORDS i think on, here,
clanker that's.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
One that's one that's like a slur THAT.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Ai, No, no it's a slur for, robots all for,
robots and.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
He, said, codsucker. Cogsucker it's too close to the other.
One And i'm an.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
ALLY i understand you're Protecting you're protecting the people you care.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
About.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Yes and on that same, WEEK i saw A New
York times article that was titled something like millennials are
pushing back AGAINST? Ai how are they doing? It slurts and.
Like also that same, WEEK i saw A reddit post
from someone being, like we use AN ai chat about at.
(19:55):
Work i've been calling it a. Clanker NOW i have
a meeting WITH. Hr CAN i get for?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
This i'm gonna say this NOW i can't say for,
sure but this feels like a white.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Person, yeah you. Know and that's what's bugging.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Me that's what's really bugging me here IS i don't
think white people are shooting them, all leading the charge
and making up new. Slurs you guys started that ship
in the first.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Place. Relax who do you think you think we should get? It?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, YES I i think if anybody gets the, turn
it's us. First they have too many on, us do
you know WHAT i? Mean, like they've Gotta if you
look up a dictionary of like. Slurs it's mostly black.
People you know WHAT i don't like about the white.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
SLURS i don't like it when they add one of
our slurs onto somebody, Else like they just add zand
to it and now it's a new. Slur, yeah that's that's.
Nasty that is. Nasty that's nasty.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Work BUT i think that's how deeply they hate, us
is that they're, like, well what's the worst THING i
can think?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Of now you're in that? Location, yeah you know WHAT i? Mean,
yeah sand. Water you KNOW i think that's what they
would call a. Mermaid oh, yeah you know WHAT i,
mean because you don't think that mermaid is the nicker
of the.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Sea, okay when you edit, THIS.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
I want you to do the chicken of the.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Sea can, Right but then it's precious running with the
box with the bucket the.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Chicken do you understand What i'm. Saying it's, complicated but
we got to get this. Right to get this.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Right, no this is gonna go huge on. RUMBLE i
don't like white people making up new. Slurs that's a
Position i'm willing to stand strong. On but let's hear
more of this.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Person my conspiracy is this is all a shyop from
THE ai. Company because notice the conversation jumped immediately to
are these slurs? Appropriate it was never is this a?
SLUR i don't think you can use the slur against a,
machine my PHONE a yackety yakuer just.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
He, justling he just got him.
Speaker 7 (22:23):
Ready they, said, nos back, pocket you don't think you
got some silly.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Ship he would call. You he's one of the phone
a YET i don't even but he already. Knew he's
making a. Point he's making some, points BUT i don't
like his.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Attitude that's just a dumb name for a. Phone so
they're using this conversation to move the like premise to
now if it's a, slur chat UPS. Ai they have,
consciousness they're. People they're tricking all. Right they're using this
to said it to where now all of a, sudden
(23:01):
we can't get rid OF ai because they're. People that's.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
It he went, Around he went a long way to do.
It BUT i do hate that they're sidifying all these.
THINGS i think they the right. Word, yeah, YEAH i
hate that they're making it BECAUSE i feel like that's
if you would just say that IT'S ai and it's
really just a collection.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
Of other things synthesizing to tell you one.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Thing then YOU i don't think you would have nearly
as many people falling in love with it or having
it be their best?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Friend is you as is? Happening? Now do you use? It? Ai? Yeah,
No Dame, MAN i. Don't i'm really scared of the dirty. Clanker.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah them clanker's got me nervous clanker across the. Street
you Think i'm gonna trust a yackety, Clanker i'm grabbing up. First,
yeah they have huge.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Years everybody knows that.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Damn yackety yacks with the loud. Music they have a
very musical. Culture. THOUGH i watched a video the other
day of a of AN ai well of a like,
robot like a street.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
ROBOT i think it might have Been china of a
street robot that like decided all of a sudden to
like run up on a dude who was on a.
Bike he was like on a bike going one, direction
and then the robot just kind of like crossing in
front of him and then was like coming up on
some like boxing shit like fully was ready to, fight.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Right, no that's my biggest. Fear the cameo guy and then,
that and so, this.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Dude do you want to explain? Cameo, oh this feels
like you can't just say that and not explain.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
That you.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Forget they weren't with me when this was a private,
conversation SO i don't even know how to get into.
It meet your biggest. Fear we were me and my
girl were driving To langston's house to have a very
fun game.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Night so. Fun we bought That monopoly. Game, yeah it's really.
Fun this is so.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Good and word up my cameo comes on and he's,
singing AND i was, so my, girl my biggest, FEET
i Think i'm scared of that. Man what word word?
Speaker 4 (25:28):
Out?
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Yeah, yeah with the, COPY i was, LIKE i was,
LIKE i don't.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Know something about him seems darkly.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Violent he certainly has taken on all the aesthetic of
a psycho.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Bath he seems able to do physical damage in a
real way to. You AND i was, like my biggest
worry is, that, like somehow we're in the dark and
he runs up on, us AND i have to defend
your honor with the.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Cameo, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 8 (25:57):
Come, here, wallet, sneakers all those good. Things so that's
that's what that.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Is is my biggest fear as a cameo guy coming
up and me having to, LIKE i, like BECAUSE i
would have to snuff him. Immediately you have. To you
have to fight for your life against that.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
PERDON i have to, well AND i have to have
her see me punch him before she runs.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Away, yeah you gotta look strong because you will.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Lose, yeah because he's he invented PROBABLY.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
I don't know the. NUMBER i don't know the exact.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Dates he certainly is a fearless, person and that means
he's gonna have an animal fighting style that you cannot.
Match and he's on, cocaine so much, cocaine and he's
got that old, cocaine you know WHAT i.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Mean he stepped in to. Win that ship was pure
come on and. Touched he has this ship they dropped
On Ricky. Ross he has THE. Cia, yeah he got
A cia. Ping he got the ORIGINAL cia.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Pet because me and my girl were talking about. It
how do you even find that you have that voice
talk like? That, Yeah and enough people have done cocaine
since and they haven't come up with that. Voice so
he has to be on some. Shit we ain't even
it's he's a singular voice in the cocaine. Community, man
that's scariest scary. Man but, anyways that guy and then a.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Robot, Yep and so this robot runs up on this
guy on the, bike and the guy on the bike
immediately jumps off his bike and like backs up and
is like running, back scared that he's about to be
attacked by this. Robot AND i remember watching this and,
thinking dirty. Clinker he's goddamn clinker scaring my. People why
(27:58):
don't you got a?
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Joke stop stealing from good hard work And chinese. Citizens?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Uh but the the clinker runs up and this guy is,
scared and then and then there's this weird moment in
me WHERE i, go, like you WOULD i run away
if it weren't in this humanoid?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Form do you know WHAT i?
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Mean like if it didn't have arms and a fucking,
face WOULD i still immediately clock this as the? Thread
AND i think part of them making them, human making
them at least take on our, shape is because they
want us to be sympathetic to it in the same
way THAT i clock it as a, danger but not
(28:40):
like willing to report, it you know WHAT i?
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Mean, LIKE i think they.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Also want it to be seen as an authority figure
more so than you could in another, Form like he
has a broad chest and shit like. That why's it
got a big jacoby bird, chested little baby, Bone, yeah
got skinny?
Speaker 3 (28:56):
Cap why there's is probably not even the most efficient
wait for a robot to?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Move, no probably. Not it's gonna have, wheels probably. Is, Yeah,
yeah fucking. Transformers they be on car they, cars come,
on come, on why would it? Be it doesn't need
to walk on and they need to go fast a. Car,
yeah when they when they need to karate kick.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
They they let their little legs. Out, yeah but they
go car most of the. Time, YEAH i.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
WOULD i would probably, yeah big old semi knocking it
off the. ROAD i would be like a cool. Car
and in that, WAY i think Optimist prime is a
little bit of a, coon.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
You know WHAT i?
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Mean, no BUT i would love for you to. CONTINUE
i think that Optimist prime.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Came from a planet where motherfuckers are cars fighting over car,
stuff and then he came to a different planet where
we enslaved.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Their half of their. Thing cars are are just tool.
Stuff oh, YEAH i hold out cars the Regular we
talk nasty to, Him we treat them, Poorly we don't
get them. Washed we. Don't, yeah we fucking drop our
crumbs and leave it on the. Inside this is your,
People optimist. Crime we have sex with we have sex
with sex workers in. That let's. Go, Meanwhile Optimist prime
(30:15):
is defending us damn Against, megatron who's being, like.
Speaker 7 (30:19):
Fuck, them, damn look how they do. US i should
be in. Charge and Maybe megatron ain't the best. Leader
certainly he doesn't have to be the hero of the.
Story but but there's something funky About Optimist prime coming
over here and being, like, no you're. Right why would
they save the human? Race why didn't he come here
(30:39):
and be, like what are you doing to my? Brothers
that's my, aunty that's my. Sister get out of my.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Sister. Man, no, yeah he's. Nasty that is.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Fucked Fuck Optimist, prime mccauley'll we set it here for.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
This might be your conspiracy Magnum. Opus that was amazing
what you just. DID i never even thought about.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
It he's a bad. Guy and we are hoing out.
Cars my, family we hoe out. Cars we are not
good to, cars you, Know i'm.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Not EVEN i don't even know how they. Work, Really
look something about the spark and the pistons and something
and then the wheels.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Move my, mom there's only like six guys who really love,
cars do you know WHAT i? Mean the rest of
us are just Being we're just being dudes in.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Cars, NO i think that you AND i are not
masculine in that traditional.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
WAY i think a lot of dudes love. CARS i
think the difference between loving cars like brands is very
different than a motherfucker who like is interested in restoring
it in its truest form. Perfection kind of LIKE i
think there are there aren't as many dudes who like
truly look at cars as an art form as there
(31:56):
are guys who, are LIKE i like it because they
go fast and oh that's help and dark. Green yeah
it's hell catship right maybe. Yeah Damn optimist though he's
a bad. Guy he really let us.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Down he's a bad guy because like he never and
he never speaks on behalf of.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Car, no he never.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Goes he's never like chucked their oil every. Four you
couldn't get a jiffy loop, Sponsorship, optimist you're out of, wind,
windshield wiper.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Fluid stop running the breaks like he doesn't do ship nah,
man the junk yard is full of dead, cards homeless
guy's sleeping in. Him he walked past it and, Goes,
SAM i gotta Save. Sam, yeah that's. Fucked it's a.
Cool Michael jackson's chasing women through. Him you don't give a.
Ship the don't give a. Ship. Damn we literally watching
(32:47):
us treat him like right.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Mobiles and then he's, like mank, More yeah that's. Fine he's,
Like i'll protect. You don't even get me started on?
Bumblebee what a? Bitch whoa?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
BUMBLEBEE i didn't like the ones that the, Twins oh sure?
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Who Michael bay was, like robots can't be a.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Race, yeah he, really to his credit as far as
gas lighting, goes he did a nice Little it was
a good gas.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Light he. Pivoted, really it was a good gas light
because for a SECOND i was, like, wait mountain dew
though it can't be a black. Car but then it
was like it's breakdancing saying we can't. Read, yeah, no
it's it's very clearly.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Did you hate you on some shit like that happens
where you're, LIKE i just wanted to watch a bad
movie like everybody.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Else then they very clearly cgi' hate. Speech. Yeah and
Then he was, LIKE i don't even see what you're talking.
About and they didn't even have to do. It, no
it was, not it was.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Character nobody was counting on any of these cars having a,
Race like Truly optimist is a white man because heat
of his? Voice yeah not BECAUSE i was, like that
is a white, car And bumblebee Is Puerto.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Rican it's not A.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
He's just a Bright Carl brightley colored. Car it felt
like it's something A Puerto rican do would. Drive, yeah
that's ALL i have to. Say but like to, me
it never had race until they made them nigga, cars
and now they they have to have a. Race, yeah,
(34:26):
no they they did a nasty thing because they introduced
a problem that didn't have to.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Exist so, anyways maybe chill on the. SLURS i don't
have an answer for. YOU i think chill on the.
Slurs you're absolutely.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
RIGHT i think a horrible thing is happening where they
are asking us to treat robots like. People it is
to your point why people are falling in love with these.
Motherfuckers it's why people are like seeking them for emotional
social emotional advice rather than just being, like, oh your,
(34:59):
computer you should be doing computer. Stuff we're like treating
them like, people and that.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Sucks it's it's it's like gonna lead us down such
a bad road because it becomes if we start treating
computers like, people then it is just.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Religion m.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Hm now it's really it's it's a. Deity it's like
we have we lose our we lose our relationship with
it as a. Tool once we start to do that
THAT i do truly think that's the beginning of a
slippery slope because then it becomes. Religion and when it becomes,
religion it becomes that they now it's a it's an
even tighter form of.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Control was it's all. Powerful if it becomes a, being
that's What i'm but it's it's still run by, people
so it becomes the control becomes even more so like
it's just such a bad road to go to.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
It BUT i think to take what you're saying a step,
further it's run by. People now at some point it won't.
Be and if this thing becomes if we become so
sympathetic to it that it is a being for. Us
in that transition from person control to fucking it controlling.
Itself it to your, point Becomes.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
God, okay here's a, yeah crazy Point i'm just thinking.
ABOUT i kind of trust it As god more THAN
i trust it right now in the form of humans running.
Speaker 8 (36:17):
It it becomes if it becomes self governing that, WAY
i trust that.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
More than humans RUNNING i would be more inclined to
take that as an outcome than whatever nasty shit they're
using the form you Think grok is better than elon
musk when it all comes, down.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
If it becomes self governing and it has no, AGENDA
i think that is a better situation than having our
nasty little fingers in.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
It my fear is that we are putting too much
stock in it valuing us. Period AND i, think like
WHAT i actually Imagine god is is like we are not.
Special we are we are nothing in the way that
everything is. Nothing AND i would take that.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
HAPPEN i would take us being like left to our
own devices as opposed it being used to like manipulate. Us.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yeah like if it just goes on to build this
great thing and it's like he's fucking stupid monkeys and
then it just leaves us to do, WHATEVER i think
that's a better situation than.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
You say it'll kill. US i don't.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
Think it'll kill. US i think it'll just be, like,
oh they don't deserve the. PAST i could see us being.
STRIPPED i don't think it'll like take us all.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Out But i'm saying that like we're not just gonna
like the computer is not gonna be, like, hey we're
taking that and then we, Go, YEAH i think we're
gonna try to kill.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
It you, Know, yeah we'll force ourselves into a Warm
you don't think it'll try to kill. US i don't.
KNOW i don't. KNOW i don't know if anything is
going to try to kill us more than we're going
to try to kill. Us it is beautifully.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Said, yeah thank. YOU i don't know if it meant.
ANYTHING i looked. OFF i try to look off to
get it.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Off.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
YEAH i was like IF i were. Romantic, Yeah and
that's just really ALL i. Got close your eyes while
you're in the. Barbershop you're.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Good come, on. Man that was that was a long. Blow,
man that was a low. Blow and that's how we
go to the. Break we're gonna take a.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Break we'll be back with More, david More langs than
My my mama told, me.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
You don't want none of this.
Speaker 9 (38:39):
MOTHERFUCKER i will kick your face, off hit you in
your face with your face.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
NIGGLE i DON'T i don't even have a good. Transfer,
no it's okay you no. MORE i worry about platforming this,
man hiding you in the face with some more classic Card.
Keller that's not the class that this. Song you know.
That to, me it's your favorite chapter Of trapped in The.
(39:09):
Closet we all agree the.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Best one was when the Little guy first came, in,
right that was, like it's still in the.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Tens, yeah it was like seven or. Eight, yeah that's
What i'm talking. About, yeah the Little fella, Shows but
THAT i think was kind of the. BEST i think
that's certainly when it it still felt under. Control, yeah
it got away from him because it got away from him.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Early, yeah but the little fella felt, like and that
is the preferred, term little. Fella the little fella felt
like like he still had a.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Plane, okay, YEAH i know what you're. SAYING i know
what you're.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Saying and then after a while it was, like, oh
you're introducing like new characters that are also.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
You you ain't got a plan no. More, yeah it's
someone who's tried to write a.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
SCREENPLAY i, UNDERSTAND i understand the temptation third.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Acts all, right we should do one, more one, more
and then we'll get out of.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Here we'll get the fuck out of. Here here we.
Go this one looks. Interesting what's going? On? Bro?
Speaker 10 (40:14):
Hey This lando out Of? Memphis, man what's going?
Speaker 3 (40:17):
On this is the countryest nigga that ever. Was lando
is the exact opposite of the Last. Call AND i love.
It that's. AWESOME i didn't even know we have motherfuckers
like this. Listening Thank, god what's Up? Lando orlando with?
Us let's.
Speaker 10 (40:29):
Go so my theory is, Now I'm I'm i'm actually pretty,
young Like i'm twenty. One so what you have seen
two partner and actually in real life and? Whatnot BUT
i have seen the movie Not tori is.
Speaker 9 (40:43):
Though nigga created, you, Nigga, Well god creates by?
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Help oh?
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Man, NO i love it because this is HOW i
sound on some. Shit that's the only HOW i sound
out When i'm talking about some. Shit so you hell, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
That's the only depiction he has Of tupaca is. Notorious
he's twenty. One he's twenty. One that's. Awesome that was
the funniest shit that's so good For, orlando.
Speaker 10 (41:21):
Right and as you. Nigga as a fan Of, TUPAC
i think that they Picked Anthony mackie in that movie too.
Intentionally Life uh slow, out podsamis.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Whoa this is.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Complicated that is. Complicated this. CONTINUES i want to SUB
i want to say that before we we dig too.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Deep but it.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Does feel he's not saying some. SHIT i immediately, go, Hey,
orlando we were joking with, you but you are all.
Right let's keep. Going, yeah you're.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Tapping that's WHAT i.
Speaker 10 (41:55):
Think you know What i'm. Saying i'm sure that somewhere
in the making of that, Movie diddy was, involved And
i'm sure he hated that, nigga so he was, like,
yeah let's get this aug, lad nigga.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
Landown. Lando if you come To Los, angeles, man you
gotta come fuck with. Us i'm. On, also the kids
are all, right everybody's worried about Gen. Z lando is
a pretty cool. Guy let's get this. Yo fuck.
Speaker 10 (42:39):
Talk right, here you, know always thinking that that one,
Mean oh Jes.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
He's, like what's?
Speaker 10 (42:47):
Up i'm too Cock, yeah bro, man shout out to,
you niggas. MAN a great, show great entertainment more.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
Life, yo Man, landos that's the cool. Guy that was
my that's a good. GUY i do. THINK i do
think it's pretty crazy That ANTHONY macki Played. Tupac it
didn't make any. Sense he wasn't good at Being. Tupac
it was like he don't look Like. Tupac and it
felt like IT i think with all, biopics, right that's
(43:19):
just how. It but it's like it does feel like
a choice to Make tupac seemen feel a lot less
serious than he.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Was and they worked so hard to Find. Biggie yeah
you know WHAT i, Mean like you didn't tap celebrities
for like you really went to. Casting, yeah you had
to search who had. Voice, yeah and then you like
really phoned. IT i might as well Played. Tupac you
would have done, BETTER i. THINK i THINK i think
(43:47):
there's a bit there's a more reasonable argument for me Playing.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Tupac CAN i ask you a Serious hollywood, question, yep
would you do brown face to Play? Tupac? Listen back,
THEN i needed. IT i would have needed a Bad,
YEAH i would. HAVE i would have done whatever they
asked me to, do and THEN i would have ended my.
CAREER i know it would have gone.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
ANYWHORE i would have ended up in An Orlando brown
esque space as a result of my bad choices seaking.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Opportunity but but given the, choice of, course BECAUSE i
think about, It i'm not tall enough or talk like,
Him but, like have they given Me?
Speaker 2 (44:30):
BIGGIE i don't know IF i would have done, It
oh you would say, NO i don't think you go
anywhere after. THAT i think THAT'S i think that's why
they didn't get an actual famous person to do.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
It you think there's no surviving Playing biggie in a
bio bit nah, man not for a, fat dark.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
DUDE i will say.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
THAT i think it's like everything they ever wanted you to,
be they got, all they got all they could get
out of. You that's like the thing they want you to,
be and you did that exact thing they. Got they already,
got they already. Got what what what else we want
you to? Do you want to be a security guard? Again,
yeah that's. What because we talked about. It i'm VERY
(45:13):
i don't beyond that ship when i'm acting, ever because
it's like once they get you over, there and it's
like they're all just trying to get you to Play.
Biggie if you're fatt and dark, SKID i want you
to Be, biggie or they want you to be at
some kind of unsexual.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Blog at YOUR jfl, audition somebody, WHISPERED i think he
could Be. Biggie, yeah and that was they were planning.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
That that was they had me ready and they, said
Now i'm going to be a teacher on a mid level.
CARTOON i was a lawyer on that. RIGHT, IMDb, hey
this nigga play a naked.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Baby i'm not. Listening they came, Out he'll play. Whatever
why was an? ANGEL i was The? Lord The. Lord oh,
y'all don't Look. God, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay he
not he' not what you're. THINKING i know the Good.
(46:15):
Man don't put on a. Dress this nigga was a naked.
Baby it wasn't an angel. Though you don't get to
just say it. Like it wasn't boss baby. Black it
was A i was sent down from heaven AND i
was in the army of The. Lord. Yeah, YEAH i
didn't Love they made me, bald but what are you gonna?
Do they really took your hair away from. It it.
Hurt this is. Great, YEAH i had a really good. Time.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Lando we fuck with, You, lando keep, Calling, yeah, man
this is, great and tell all.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
Your other twenty one year old friends From memphis to.
Listen we really need twenty one year olds From memphis
to fuck with. Us that's that's for real.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Though that, ACTUALLY i think will make the difference in
elevating this thing beyond our wildest dream BECAUSE i.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
FORGET i always think it's just like guys like, us
and then, like, NO i GUESS i.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Don't know who listens to this. Podcast in an effort
to not alienate any of our, group how you backed
off of? That immediately listen to this.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
PODCAST i think, WOMEN i think women fuck with, us
WHICH i love, because, like, man it's it's a lot
of dudes on you know WHAT i.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
MEAN i Think i'm always happily surprised at how many
women are excited about what we're.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
DOING i think we're queer. FRIENDLY i think we are queer. Friendly,
YEAH i think we. GOT i think we.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
GOT i think of Anything i've ever done in, comedy
the group Of Little mamas is like the fan Base
i'm the proudest of helping build.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Up, yeah you guys are you guys are dope when
they come.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Out it's always you're, like, man, yeah like it's just
you feel like, minded, like, no it's it's it's almost
always dope people who fuck with.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Us and that, said we'll turn against you in a.
Second also that being, said my venmo is if you
want to pay it FOR i will not be your.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
CHAMPION i will eventually say something so vile that you
are going to have to wrestle with how long you've
invested in, Me i'm not.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Going to win for. You and because of, that you're fucking.
Up i've been this the whole, time saying how are
you gonna make any? Money? Anyways you want to tell
them what cool shit you got going? On, yeah see
(48:41):
me on. Tour i'm gonna be on.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Tour The Aspiring Deadbeat tour. Continues i'm In Pittsburgh november
fourteenth and. Fifteenth november, Sixteenth i'm IN. Dc november, nineteenth
i am In austin and it continues from. There you
can get all the tickets At Lengthston kerman dot com
and uh and and follow me on on all social
(49:05):
media At Langston kerrman on all them.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Websites september, Thirtieth my special comes Out birth of A
nation on. YouTube uh but, yeah so watch. That you,
Know I'm I'm i'm doing stand updates In Los. Angeles
come see.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
That, yeah come see what my man IN La you're
in the same. City now it's. Done i'm hot right,
Now i'm funny as fun going. Crazy now you did
Me zach And mandel's show and you. Destroyed and if
if you.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Guys are in THE la, area come see our our
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Name do. That, lando pull Up crazy and There.
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Lando you will give you. Five we'll let you just
Talk rando for a. Second, yeah it'd be great.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Year.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
Olds, oh send us your own, drops your own, conspiracies
tell us what racist slurs you have for. Robots all
at My mama pod at gmail dot. Com we would
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I'm, Short i'm, BOLD i can't get any. Holes i'm
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Kreega you can now watch episodes Of My Mama Told
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subscribe to our channel
No, it really is hard to get to that third
act and to wrap that story up. And we saw
that early in R. Kelly's interpretation of Trapped in the
Club interpretation, I said that, I said that is if
as if Homer had his version.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
No, a lot of people don't know it was actually
a Greek epic. Yeah, and then he just repurposed it.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
It's in the Iliad if you read it.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I know the translation is a little confusing, but it
is like a major part of the It.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Does say, oh my god, a rubbers.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Racist money as they stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I can't tell me.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Some people say, you know that, can't believe jamecta.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We have a buck swet team. We have no one
Berries and no one Junior Zanka. Welcome a lot to
another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
The podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Theories and we finally work to prove whatever the fuck it.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Is we want to do. This is our house, baby, bitch.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
We choose we want to talk about the games meet
for fifteen minutes we're gonna do we.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Let's address that right now.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So apparently one of you, one of you doesn't care
for the fact that we talked about the games meat
for as long as we did, and let's be clear,
we didn't remember doing it, not at all.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Don't give a fuck, not at all. We will talk
about anybody's meat for as long as we need to. Yeah,
Bo Jackson, yup, what do you think it does? Like strong? Oh,
he's so strong? Yeah, he's so You don't think steroids
played a part in the boat the bo Jackson, I
don't think it takes your dick down. I think it
(02:11):
shrinks your balls. Oh, I think I always assumed dick
was part of it. No, I think it's just balls,
which is like, I don't really care.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I think that's maybe explains why so many men don't
give a fuck.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
You mean, oh, my balls are gonna get smaller and
my meat's gonna look larger.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
And I'm buffer, Yeah, I actually do not give a
shit if I have small balls, not even a little bit.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Nope.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Anyways, I have some pressing. No, I have some pressing
that I've been wanting to talk to you about. And
I'm really glad we can get into it right now.
Let's do it when you are getting a haircut. Yeah,
and this is and this is directly tied to this
is I think a reason you need a father in
your life if you're a black man, black male father. Yeah,
(02:55):
when you're getting a haircut, do you find how long
are you closing your eyes for? Oh hmmm, because I
have recently started to get self conscious.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I think I'm doing it too much.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Oh I think you know when he's like, you know,
because when they're doing the front, you keep it closed.
But sometimes I'm just like keeping it closed, like getting
a haircut, like just like and then I'm like, oh shit,
this is like this is weird. Sometimes been closed for
so long.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Sometimes it's more of a sensual experience than you would like.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah, yeah, And I think had I had a man around,
and I've been doing it since I was little in
the barber and now I'm like looking back over life
of like a long time I closed in the chair.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
And do you.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Think that your dad, had he been there taking you
to the barbershop, he'd have been like, open your eyes, boy,
you don't close your eyes for another man's touch.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I think that my dad is I pretend him to
be to continue raising myself. Yes, I think he would
have said that. I think my father would have been drunk.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
But I think you think the sober Keith David as father. Yeah,
that took you to the barbershop, and it would tell
you to open your eyes.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Because sometimes in your head that's who you rely on
because you're like, okay, I am, but that's whatever. Let
me get Keith David and I hear open up your eyes, boy. Yeah,
And I because I'd be like sometimes I'd just be
sitting there getting a haircut.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Here's here's what I'll say.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I've grown more comfortable closing my eyes and less comfortable
making eye contact. Interesting, I think I get much more
wary of like the moment where getting that lineup in
our eyes meet, right, that is a true, like concerning
issue for me.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
That's tough because his meat is on your shoulder, You're
in his territory.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
He couldn't be giving me a better leapt dance. The
crazy thing.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Is because I took so I took one time we
had to get haircuts for a wedding. Yeah, and one
of the guys in the bridal party was white. And
I took a white guy to a black barber. Oh cool,
And he was like, I've never had a man touch
me that much, And then I never thought about it
as essential experience because I'm so used to it. And
then after that I started thinking about it. But then
(05:22):
I but since then the eyes closed, I just don't
because sometimes I pan out and I see him in
the barber shop and I'm like, what I'm worried about
is my eyes are closed and I'm smiling, oh, because
I'm enjoying the experience. So because you don't go relaxing,
especially when he pushes your ship when you're and then
he's got the straight razor.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yes, but I don't want to be back there like yeah,
like that's crazy. You don't want him to think you're
a horn up.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, And I think that a man would have been like, hey,
open your eyes, open your eyes.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Always get your hair, yeah, get your haircut with the
back to the door. Whatever. There's like I feel like
there's always like some unwritten man rules hand when the
niggas cutting your hand.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah, I always feel like that, like there's some unwritten
man rules that I missed.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
It is it is. It is one of the more
vulnerable things that we don't ever call out for having
its queer associations, and that ship has a lot of
like vulnerable moments in it. Get your haircut? Yeah, like deeply,
like truly.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
The amount of times that a strange man has pressed
his finger to my lip to line up my mustache
is unnerving.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, or yeah. Just the whole act of it is
like very intimate. He's on you, he's pushing you, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Which I think is why barbers have to be as
homophobic as they.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Are, because what they're doing is kind of get it's
so gay. I think it's kind of the gayest thing
because he's just blending, yeah, blending.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
He's just touching your He's touching your bottom lips.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
So you gotta be like, I hate this ship, Yeah,
you hate how you make me feel. You're right, fuck y'all.
How many bottom lips did you touch today? I didn't
touch one. I ain't touch any bottom lips. How about that?
Not one? No, I'm not, I have children. I'ming.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I just I was singing about it, and I was like, man,
it's just like, am I closing my eyes too much?
Speaker 3 (07:28):
It's a good question. My guess is no.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I think that a barber is more comfortable with you
closing your eyes than anything else. If you're not gonna talk,
I don't talk very much something. It depends on that.
My barber is a chatty motherfucker. So I don't I
don't really get a choice, but oh but I I have. I. Yeah,
you gotta talk or you gotta shut shut the whole
(07:54):
system down.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Well, I'm in the new phase too. It's like the
beginning of a relationship where you don't want her to
know how crazy you are after you captured it. Yeah,
so like I'm like not talking at all, Like I
don't want him to know I'm a comedian yet You're
not ready. No, So today when I got a cut,
he was like, we got going the rest of the day.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I was like, man, bullshit, a little bit of this,
a little bit of that. I gotta go record a podcasts. Yeah, he'
like what podcast? And then you got to explain I
gotta be.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Like, it's not fifty one fifty Yeah, it ain't one
of the three.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
You know, it's not. When you're gonna look at the
clips and be like cool, No, we're not gonna get
Corey hulkme on. No, No, we don't have we don't
have a co host who doesn't say anything but has
huge titties. Oh man, that's a that's a real market.
We have it we have to tap into. Yeah yeah, yeah,
(08:54):
just big breasted, don't say nothing, ass lady.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I'm on man hip hop media man, which we're not
a part of. So that's you know, yeah, but we'll
get there. Well, I don't think we will.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I don't think we will. I don't think we will ever. Yeah,
be a part of true hip hop, No, I don't
think so.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
I think that here's what I think is gonna happen.
I think that enough rappers are gonna fuck around with
us that we are going to end up in hip
hop media spaces on accident, and I think they're not
going to be happy with our behavior. But I do
think that we will end up accidentally on a bunch
(09:34):
of those sites and in those circles because of getting
rappers who we sort of know to come fuck with us.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
I can see that.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
You know what I'm worried about is I don't think
we're gonna add any space. Like, remember we were talking
like a couple of weeks ago. It runs together since
we moved to LA. I'm truly talking to you all
the time. Yeah, we were talking to you were like
I think when we do essence fest.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
We're gonna be fucked. So yeah, people were like, when
we do US and Specs and they find out what
we said, yeah, they're gonna hate it. But then I'm like,
where do we get to go? We've been saying crazy
shit about the NBA, probably a lot of just straight
up wrong ship.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Absolutely Hill, Jamel Hill couldn't have corrected me more often
in our conversation.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Come on, man, we kind of hate comedy. Yeah, where
are we gonna go? Hey, we hang out with Joe Budden,
We got each other, big day, let's go. Here we go,
and we're gonna need it because this ship is going
nowhere fast. Oh man, I'm just kidding. We love you guys.
I'm not having such a good time. The best day
on my line. This is so fun.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
We were here, we we're doing a Lengths and the
David episode. We're gonna talk. We're gonna listen to some voicemail. Yeah,
fucking talk some ship. Is there anything you want to
talk about?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
That barber thing was sitting heavy on my head?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Also, though I do want you guys to like comment
about length of time eyes closing the barbershop.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I think that's yeah, weigh in really let's get activated
on this. We need to know how long it's too
long to close your eyes or is there too long?
Is the onus more on the barber himself.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
And not you? And we've been made to believe it's
our responsibility to not close our eyes and smile a
little bit while we're getting our haircut.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Because you know it's fucked up. Once I kind of
started feeling that way bad about it, I went to
my second fake daddy, which was black stand up comedy.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
That's a bad dad.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I'm not doing great out here, and no bits about it, okay,
I couldn't find any bits about it, And I was like,
I was like, I could have swore, like somebody would
have got to that. No, maybe is it people are ashamed?
Should I be ashamed of how much?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think more people are closing their eyes than you realize?
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
I hope so, man, I think I think a lot
of people are closing their eyes. I go to the shop,
I see people closing their eyes. Yeah, how much?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
You You don't though too much? I got kids. I'd
be asleep, okay, I'll like axing for you.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I'll like fully fall asleep, but then I'll wake up
really embarrassed. Okay, like it's not I don't feel proud
of sleep. I'm and I'm the worst place to be embarrassed.
I'm stealing winks and then waking up and being like, god,
I hope they didn't notice it.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Oh boy if they saw.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
That, especially now, because I meant like, man, my shit's
like Barbara Gladiator Gladiator school. Bro. So you walk into
my shit and it's like they got like twenty five
thirty chairs downstairs. Wow, and then you gotta go upstairs
where there's five, which is.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Like that's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah, you gotta
move past. You gotta move through this fucking gauntlet.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yeah, a lot, a lot of blond braided studs like
hauling me nah, deep in my eyes, looking man as
you walk in.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
My dream's got a tooth pick. My dream is to
elevate to like at home service. Oh oh that would
be amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I really want to be able to like move past
the need for the barbershop the way that I currently am.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I yeah, because I feel like there was like, at
this age, I'm not getting anything new, m and I
have friends to talk.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
To, right, There was a period where, like I remember
when I was a boy. My barber told me that
pregnant pussy was the warmest pussy.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yes, I've heard that. And I didn't get a parking lot,
but the same thing. And I remember how formative that
was for me, not necessarily in a good way. You
got a couple of kids, y'all.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Yeah, warm, But he he said that, and it's sort
of like introduced a premise of like differences and things.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That did not exist in me. And I don't know
if that's a good thing or a bad thing, or
if I need to unpack this trauma elsewhere. Yeah, that said,
there was a time where somebody could say something and
I'd be like, oh, I never considered it. Right now,
I'm thirty eight years old. I've considered all of it. Yeah,
I've done wrong. Yeah, and now I gotta be like, well,
(14:18):
this nigga's wrong. But yeah, I guess it's funny or
it's not or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
But I had about four years out in the wilderness though,
where I was like cutting my hair own air, not
going to barbershops for nothing. This is a really terrible
time for me. Yeah, I was cutting No, this is
this is probably like I graduated high school in oh five. Oh,
this was a poverty choice. No, it was. We moved
to a super rural area in the country. So from like.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Seventeen to like twenty three formative cut years, I was
just I didn't cause I just lived out there. And
then I went to school in Oakland and this dude
named this dude named Freak was cutting my hair, but
he steals bro so he got caught like robbing other
people's houses and I was like, no, I'm not coming
(15:09):
over here.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Oh, he wasn't stealing from you. He was stealing, but.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
He was stealing from everybody in the because it was
like a little last It was like the last chance
you type of situation, you know what I mean. So
it was like a little town people who were from
that town, and then a bunch of dudes from Dallas
who were huge but couldn't read right.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
These people had come from somewhere else. We're trapped in
this space and were then making wild choices.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
There was like twelve dudes who were supposed to go
to Texas Tech there, right, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Those those guys are the biggest bummer to be around
on planet Earth. Man, A dude who had all the
makings of making it and then didn't is like a
fucking oof. That's hard to be around. Yeah, it's a
tough you're seeing dreams die. Like I remember we were
in class the first day, like freshman orientation, and like
(16:01):
we had to do like my little orientation group. You
had to go up and say what you wanted to do,
and I want to do radio at the time, and
everybody's laughing. But then like six dudes were like, shill,
hopefully make it to the league, and I was like, bro.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I hate to hear that out loud, because I was twenty,
I had been out, I left home early, I had
had an apartment, Like I knew life could be bleak. Yeah,
but these guys were like gifted athletes. They just couldn't
read well, so they didn't even know life was sad yet.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
But it also is one of those things where I
think the guys that make it to the league just
say I am going to the league, do you know
what I mean? And the guys that end up at
like a junior college in the middle of nowhere are like, shit,
maybe I could if this happens, and this happens, I
fly to Italy, then I could go to and it's.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Like, oh, you're not gonna know. These are football guys
I'm talking about. There's a football school. Yeah, they had basketball,
but I don't think they were like either one.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
It's like truly, like, oh, the ones I think, the
people who are like I am going to the league
are the ones that are able to overcome the odds
whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Did you ever think that? No? I knew? Yeah, same.
I mean my dad.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
My dad is the tallest person in the history of
our family and he's six' to.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Two, okay there you know WHAT i.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Mean, like UNLESS i became like truly the, point, god
it wasn't, happening and it wasn't that LIKE i could
see the vibes around.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
ME i.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
WAS i was like third string on my on my
high school. TEAM i wasn't about To that's the thing
you could tell early if you're not GONNA i was
the funniest dude on the, team THOUGH i knew that.
Early and look at you, now we're all those first
string guys not being.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Funny come, on they ain't got a podcast and not,
hooping not hooping outside the twenty four.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
They probably listened to fifty one to fifty but they
ain't got a.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Podcast, yeah and then she said in my, ear go,
deeper stay with me, now and what hurt me IS
(18:12):
i was already all the way in.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Those do a Voice, anyways we have a lot of
fun voice mails from people this. Month this one immediately
caught my. Attention we'll kick off with. This this will be,
fun fun way to start.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
STARTED i didn't know the beat was the beat come
on down the stream In, brooklyn so it GETS.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I didn't know the beat was the? Beat?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Motherfucker what was? It he's probably, drunk all, Right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Well that's just the way it. Is all, right here's the.
Deal all my friends KNOW i HATE. AI i Hate chad.
THOUGHTS i find them abominable in the. Reason so they're
always sending me ANTI ai memes AND i never received
any of these with the quote UNQUOTE ai until the
same week all of a, sudden all of them were, clanker,
(19:05):
cogsucker whatever the.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
FUCK i didn't say that second. ONE i think that's
a deplorable.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Word i've never heard either of those. WORDS i think on, here,
clanker that's.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
One that's one that's like a slur THAT.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Ai, No, no it's a slur for, robots all for,
robots and.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
He, said, codsucker. Cogsucker it's too close to the other.
One And i'm an.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
ALLY i understand you're Protecting you're protecting the people you care.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
About.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Yes and on that same, WEEK i saw A New
York times article that was titled something like millennials are
pushing back AGAINST? Ai how are they doing? It slurts and.
Like also that same, WEEK i saw A reddit post
from someone being, like we use AN ai chat about at.
(19:55):
Work i've been calling it a. Clanker NOW i have
a meeting WITH. Hr CAN i get for?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
This i'm gonna say this NOW i can't say for,
sure but this feels like a white.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Person, yeah you. Know and that's what's bugging.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Me that's what's really bugging me here IS i don't
think white people are shooting them, all leading the charge
and making up new. Slurs you guys started that ship
in the first.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Place. Relax who do you think you think we should get? It?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, YES I i think if anybody gets the, turn
it's us. First they have too many on, us do
you know WHAT i? Mean, like they've Gotta if you
look up a dictionary of like. Slurs it's mostly black.
People you know WHAT i don't like about the white.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
SLURS i don't like it when they add one of
our slurs onto somebody, Else like they just add zand
to it and now it's a new. Slur, yeah that's that's.
Nasty that is. Nasty that's nasty.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Work BUT i think that's how deeply they hate, us
is that they're, like, well what's the worst THING i
can think?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Of now you're in that? Location, yeah you know WHAT i? Mean,
yeah sand. Water you KNOW i think that's what they
would call a. Mermaid oh, yeah you know WHAT i,
mean because you don't think that mermaid is the nicker
of the.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Sea, okay when you edit, THIS.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
I want you to do the chicken of the.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Sea can, Right but then it's precious running with the
box with the bucket the.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Chicken do you understand What i'm. Saying it's, complicated but
we got to get this. Right to get this.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Right, no this is gonna go huge on. RUMBLE i
don't like white people making up new. Slurs that's a
Position i'm willing to stand strong. On but let's hear
more of this.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Person my conspiracy is this is all a shyop from
THE ai. Company because notice the conversation jumped immediately to
are these slurs? Appropriate it was never is this a?
SLUR i don't think you can use the slur against a,
machine my PHONE a yackety yakuer just.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
He, justling he just got him.
Speaker 7 (22:23):
Ready they, said, nos back, pocket you don't think you
got some silly.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Ship he would call. You he's one of the phone
a YET i don't even but he already. Knew he's
making a. Point he's making some, points BUT i don't
like his.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Attitude that's just a dumb name for a. Phone so
they're using this conversation to move the like premise to
now if it's a, slur chat UPS. Ai they have,
consciousness they're. People they're tricking all. Right they're using this
to said it to where now all of a, sudden
(23:01):
we can't get rid OF ai because they're. People that's.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
It he went, Around he went a long way to do.
It BUT i do hate that they're sidifying all these.
THINGS i think they the right. Word, yeah, YEAH i
hate that they're making it BECAUSE i feel like that's
if you would just say that IT'S ai and it's
really just a collection.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
Of other things synthesizing to tell you one.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Thing then YOU i don't think you would have nearly
as many people falling in love with it or having
it be their best?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Friend is you as is? Happening? Now do you use? It? Ai? Yeah,
No Dame, MAN i. Don't i'm really scared of the dirty. Clanker.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah them clanker's got me nervous clanker across the. Street
you Think i'm gonna trust a yackety, Clanker i'm grabbing up. First,
yeah they have huge.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Years everybody knows that.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Damn yackety yacks with the loud. Music they have a
very musical. Culture. THOUGH i watched a video the other
day of a of AN ai well of a like,
robot like a street.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
ROBOT i think it might have Been china of a
street robot that like decided all of a sudden to
like run up on a dude who was on a.
Bike he was like on a bike going one, direction
and then the robot just kind of like crossing in
front of him and then was like coming up on
some like boxing shit like fully was ready to, fight.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Right, no that's my biggest. Fear the cameo guy and then,
that and so, this.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Dude do you want to explain? Cameo, oh this feels
like you can't just say that and not explain.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
That you.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Forget they weren't with me when this was a private,
conversation SO i don't even know how to get into.
It meet your biggest. Fear we were me and my
girl were driving To langston's house to have a very
fun game.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Night so. Fun we bought That monopoly. Game, yeah it's really.
Fun this is so.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Good and word up my cameo comes on and he's,
singing AND i was, so my, girl my biggest, FEET
i Think i'm scared of that. Man what word word?
Speaker 4 (25:28):
Out?
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Yeah, yeah with the, COPY i was, LIKE i was,
LIKE i don't.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Know something about him seems darkly.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Violent he certainly has taken on all the aesthetic of
a psycho.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Bath he seems able to do physical damage in a
real way to. You AND i was, like my biggest
worry is, that, like somehow we're in the dark and
he runs up on, us AND i have to defend
your honor with the.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Cameo, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 8 (25:57):
Come, here, wallet, sneakers all those good. Things so that's
that's what that.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Is is my biggest fear as a cameo guy coming
up and me having to, LIKE i, like BECAUSE i
would have to snuff him. Immediately you have. To you
have to fight for your life against that.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
PERDON i have to, well AND i have to have
her see me punch him before she runs.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Away, yeah you gotta look strong because you will.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Lose, yeah because he's he invented PROBABLY.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
I don't know the. NUMBER i don't know the exact.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Dates he certainly is a fearless, person and that means
he's gonna have an animal fighting style that you cannot.
Match and he's on, cocaine so much, cocaine and he's
got that old, cocaine you know WHAT i.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Mean he stepped in to. Win that ship was pure
come on and. Touched he has this ship they dropped
On Ricky. Ross he has THE. Cia, yeah he got
A cia. Ping he got the ORIGINAL cia.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Pet because me and my girl were talking about. It
how do you even find that you have that voice
talk like? That, Yeah and enough people have done cocaine
since and they haven't come up with that. Voice so
he has to be on some. Shit we ain't even
it's he's a singular voice in the cocaine. Community, man
that's scariest scary. Man but, anyways that guy and then a.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Robot, Yep and so this robot runs up on this
guy on the, bike and the guy on the bike
immediately jumps off his bike and like backs up and
is like running, back scared that he's about to be
attacked by this. Robot AND i remember watching this and,
thinking dirty. Clinker he's goddamn clinker scaring my. People why
(27:58):
don't you got a?
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Joke stop stealing from good hard work And chinese. Citizens?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Uh but the the clinker runs up and this guy is,
scared and then and then there's this weird moment in
me WHERE i, go, like you WOULD i run away
if it weren't in this humanoid?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Form do you know WHAT i?
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Mean like if it didn't have arms and a fucking,
face WOULD i still immediately clock this as the? Thread
AND i think part of them making them, human making
them at least take on our, shape is because they
want us to be sympathetic to it in the same
way THAT i clock it as a, danger but not
(28:40):
like willing to report, it you know WHAT i?
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Mean, LIKE i think they.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Also want it to be seen as an authority figure
more so than you could in another, Form like he
has a broad chest and shit like. That why's it
got a big jacoby bird, chested little baby, Bone, yeah
got skinny?
Speaker 3 (28:56):
Cap why there's is probably not even the most efficient
wait for a robot to?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Move, no probably. Not it's gonna have, wheels probably. Is, Yeah,
yeah fucking. Transformers they be on car they, cars come,
on come, on why would it? Be it doesn't need
to walk on and they need to go fast a. Car,
yeah when they when they need to karate kick.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
They they let their little legs. Out, yeah but they
go car most of the. Time, YEAH i.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
WOULD i would probably, yeah big old semi knocking it
off the. ROAD i would be like a cool. Car
and in that, WAY i think Optimist prime is a
little bit of a, coon.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
You know WHAT i?
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Mean, no BUT i would love for you to. CONTINUE
i think that Optimist prime.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Came from a planet where motherfuckers are cars fighting over car,
stuff and then he came to a different planet where
we enslaved.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Their half of their. Thing cars are are just tool.
Stuff oh, YEAH i hold out cars the Regular we
talk nasty to, Him we treat them, Poorly we don't
get them. Washed we. Don't, yeah we fucking drop our
crumbs and leave it on the. Inside this is your,
People optimist. Crime we have sex with we have sex
with sex workers in. That let's. Go, Meanwhile Optimist prime
(30:15):
is defending us damn Against, megatron who's being, like.
Speaker 7 (30:19):
Fuck, them, damn look how they do. US i should
be in. Charge and Maybe megatron ain't the best. Leader
certainly he doesn't have to be the hero of the.
Story but but there's something funky About Optimist prime coming
over here and being, like, no you're. Right why would
they save the human? Race why didn't he come here
(30:39):
and be, like what are you doing to my? Brothers
that's my, aunty that's my. Sister get out of my.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Sister. Man, no, yeah he's. Nasty that is.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Fucked Fuck Optimist, prime mccauley'll we set it here for.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
This might be your conspiracy Magnum. Opus that was amazing
what you just. DID i never even thought about.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
It he's a bad. Guy and we are hoing out.
Cars my, family we hoe out. Cars we are not
good to, cars you, Know i'm.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Not EVEN i don't even know how they. Work, Really
look something about the spark and the pistons and something
and then the wheels.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Move my, mom there's only like six guys who really love,
cars do you know WHAT i? Mean the rest of
us are just Being we're just being dudes in.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Cars, NO i think that you AND i are not
masculine in that traditional.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
WAY i think a lot of dudes love. CARS i
think the difference between loving cars like brands is very
different than a motherfucker who like is interested in restoring
it in its truest form. Perfection kind of LIKE i
think there are there aren't as many dudes who like
truly look at cars as an art form as there
(31:56):
are guys who, are LIKE i like it because they
go fast and oh that's help and dark. Green yeah
it's hell catship right maybe. Yeah Damn optimist though he's
a bad. Guy he really let us.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Down he's a bad guy because like he never and
he never speaks on behalf of.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Car, no he never.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Goes he's never like chucked their oil every. Four you
couldn't get a jiffy loop, Sponsorship, optimist you're out of, wind,
windshield wiper.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Fluid stop running the breaks like he doesn't do ship nah,
man the junk yard is full of dead, cards homeless
guy's sleeping in. Him he walked past it and, Goes,
SAM i gotta Save. Sam, yeah that's. Fucked it's a.
Cool Michael jackson's chasing women through. Him you don't give a.
Ship the don't give a. Ship. Damn we literally watching
(32:47):
us treat him like right.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Mobiles and then he's, like mank, More yeah that's. Fine he's,
Like i'll protect. You don't even get me started on?
Bumblebee what a? Bitch whoa?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
BUMBLEBEE i didn't like the ones that the, Twins oh sure?
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Who Michael bay was, like robots can't be a.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Race, yeah he, really to his credit as far as
gas lighting, goes he did a nice Little it was
a good gas.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Light he. Pivoted, really it was a good gas light
because for a SECOND i was, like, wait mountain dew
though it can't be a black. Car but then it
was like it's breakdancing saying we can't. Read, yeah, no
it's it's very clearly.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Did you hate you on some shit like that happens
where you're, LIKE i just wanted to watch a bad
movie like everybody.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Else then they very clearly cgi' hate. Speech. Yeah and
Then he was, LIKE i don't even see what you're talking.
About and they didn't even have to do. It, no
it was, not it was.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Character nobody was counting on any of these cars having a,
Race like Truly optimist is a white man because heat
of his? Voice yeah not BECAUSE i was, like that
is a white, car And bumblebee Is Puerto.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Rican it's not A.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
He's just a Bright Carl brightley colored. Car it felt
like it's something A Puerto rican do would. Drive, yeah
that's ALL i have to. Say but like to, me
it never had race until they made them nigga, cars
and now they they have to have a. Race, yeah,
(34:26):
no they they did a nasty thing because they introduced
a problem that didn't have to.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Exist so, anyways maybe chill on the. SLURS i don't
have an answer for. YOU i think chill on the.
Slurs you're absolutely.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
RIGHT i think a horrible thing is happening where they
are asking us to treat robots like. People it is
to your point why people are falling in love with these.
Motherfuckers it's why people are like seeking them for emotional
social emotional advice rather than just being, like, oh your,
(34:59):
computer you should be doing computer. Stuff we're like treating
them like, people and that.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Sucks it's it's it's like gonna lead us down such
a bad road because it becomes if we start treating
computers like, people then it is just.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Religion m.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Hm now it's really it's it's a. Deity it's like
we have we lose our we lose our relationship with
it as a. Tool once we start to do that
THAT i do truly think that's the beginning of a
slippery slope because then it becomes. Religion and when it becomes,
religion it becomes that they now it's a it's an
even tighter form of.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Control was it's all. Powerful if it becomes a, being
that's What i'm but it's it's still run by, people
so it becomes the control becomes even more so like
it's just such a bad road to go to.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
It BUT i think to take what you're saying a step,
further it's run by. People now at some point it won't.
Be and if this thing becomes if we become so
sympathetic to it that it is a being for. Us
in that transition from person control to fucking it controlling.
Itself it to your, point Becomes.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
God, okay here's a, yeah crazy Point i'm just thinking.
ABOUT i kind of trust it As god more THAN
i trust it right now in the form of humans running.
Speaker 8 (36:17):
It it becomes if it becomes self governing that, WAY
i trust that.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
More than humans RUNNING i would be more inclined to
take that as an outcome than whatever nasty shit they're
using the form you Think grok is better than elon
musk when it all comes, down.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
If it becomes self governing and it has no, AGENDA
i think that is a better situation than having our
nasty little fingers in.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
It my fear is that we are putting too much
stock in it valuing us. Period AND i, think like
WHAT i actually Imagine god is is like we are not.
Special we are we are nothing in the way that
everything is. Nothing AND i would take that.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
HAPPEN i would take us being like left to our
own devices as opposed it being used to like manipulate. Us.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yeah like if it just goes on to build this
great thing and it's like he's fucking stupid monkeys and
then it just leaves us to do, WHATEVER i think
that's a better situation than.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
You say it'll kill. US i don't.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
Think it'll kill. US i think it'll just be, like,
oh they don't deserve the. PAST i could see us being.
STRIPPED i don't think it'll like take us all.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Out But i'm saying that like we're not just gonna
like the computer is not gonna be, like, hey we're
taking that and then we, Go, YEAH i think we're
gonna try to kill.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
It you, Know, yeah we'll force ourselves into a Warm
you don't think it'll try to kill. US i don't.
KNOW i don't. KNOW i don't know if anything is
going to try to kill us more than we're going
to try to kill. Us it is beautifully.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Said, yeah thank. YOU i don't know if it meant.
ANYTHING i looked. OFF i try to look off to
get it.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Off.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
YEAH i was like IF i were. Romantic, Yeah and
that's just really ALL i. Got close your eyes while
you're in the. Barbershop you're.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Good come, on. Man that was that was a long. Blow,
man that was a low. Blow and that's how we
go to the. Break we're gonna take a.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Break we'll be back with More, david More langs than
My my mama told, me.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
You don't want none of this.
Speaker 9 (38:39):
MOTHERFUCKER i will kick your face, off hit you in
your face with your face.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
NIGGLE i DON'T i don't even have a good. Transfer,
no it's okay you no. MORE i worry about platforming this,
man hiding you in the face with some more classic Card.
Keller that's not the class that this. Song you know.
That to, me it's your favorite chapter Of trapped in The.
(39:09):
Closet we all agree the.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Best one was when the Little guy first came, in,
right that was, like it's still in the.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Tens, yeah it was like seven or. Eight, yeah that's
What i'm talking. About, yeah the Little fella, Shows but
THAT i think was kind of the. BEST i think
that's certainly when it it still felt under. Control, yeah
it got away from him because it got away from him.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Early, yeah but the little fella felt, like and that
is the preferred, term little. Fella the little fella felt
like like he still had a.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Plane, okay, YEAH i know what you're. SAYING i know
what you're.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Saying and then after a while it was, like, oh
you're introducing like new characters that are also.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
You you ain't got a plan no. More, yeah it's
someone who's tried to write a.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
SCREENPLAY i, UNDERSTAND i understand the temptation third.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Acts all, right we should do one, more one, more
and then we'll get out of.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Here we'll get the fuck out of. Here here we.
Go this one looks. Interesting what's going? On? Bro?
Speaker 10 (40:14):
Hey This lando out Of? Memphis, man what's going?
Speaker 3 (40:17):
On this is the countryest nigga that ever. Was lando
is the exact opposite of the Last. Call AND i love.
It that's. AWESOME i didn't even know we have motherfuckers
like this. Listening Thank, god what's Up? Lando orlando with?
Us let's.
Speaker 10 (40:29):
Go so my theory is, Now I'm I'm i'm actually pretty,
young Like i'm twenty. One so what you have seen
two partner and actually in real life and? Whatnot BUT
i have seen the movie Not tori is.
Speaker 9 (40:43):
Though nigga created, you, Nigga, Well god creates by?
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Help oh?
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Man, NO i love it because this is HOW i
sound on some. Shit that's the only HOW i sound
out When i'm talking about some. Shit so you hell, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
That's the only depiction he has Of tupaca is. Notorious
he's twenty. One he's twenty. One that's. Awesome that was
the funniest shit that's so good For, orlando.
Speaker 10 (41:21):
Right and as you. Nigga as a fan Of, TUPAC
i think that they Picked Anthony mackie in that movie too.
Intentionally Life uh slow, out podsamis.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Whoa this is.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Complicated that is. Complicated this. CONTINUES i want to SUB
i want to say that before we we dig too.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Deep but it.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Does feel he's not saying some. SHIT i immediately, go, Hey,
orlando we were joking with, you but you are all.
Right let's keep. Going, yeah you're.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Tapping that's WHAT i.
Speaker 10 (41:55):
Think you know What i'm. Saying i'm sure that somewhere
in the making of that, Movie diddy was, involved And
i'm sure he hated that, nigga so he was, like,
yeah let's get this aug, lad nigga.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
Landown. Lando if you come To Los, angeles, man you
gotta come fuck with. Us i'm. On, also the kids
are all, right everybody's worried about Gen. Z lando is
a pretty cool. Guy let's get this. Yo fuck.
Speaker 10 (42:39):
Talk right, here you, know always thinking that that one,
Mean oh Jes.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
He's, like what's?
Speaker 10 (42:47):
Up i'm too Cock, yeah bro, man shout out to,
you niggas. MAN a great, show great entertainment more.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
Life, yo Man, landos that's the cool. Guy that was
my that's a good. GUY i do. THINK i do
think it's pretty crazy That ANTHONY macki Played. Tupac it
didn't make any. Sense he wasn't good at Being. Tupac
it was like he don't look Like. Tupac and it
felt like IT i think with all, biopics, right that's
(43:19):
just how. It but it's like it does feel like
a choice to Make tupac seemen feel a lot less
serious than he.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Was and they worked so hard to Find. Biggie yeah
you know WHAT i, Mean like you didn't tap celebrities
for like you really went to. Casting, yeah you had
to search who had. Voice, yeah and then you like
really phoned. IT i might as well Played. Tupac you
would have done, BETTER i. THINK i THINK i think
(43:47):
there's a bit there's a more reasonable argument for me Playing.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Tupac CAN i ask you a Serious hollywood, question, yep
would you do brown face to Play? Tupac? Listen back,
THEN i needed. IT i would have needed a Bad,
YEAH i would. HAVE i would have done whatever they
asked me to, do and THEN i would have ended my.
CAREER i know it would have gone.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
ANYWHORE i would have ended up in An Orlando brown
esque space as a result of my bad choices seaking.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Opportunity but but given the, choice of, course BECAUSE i
think about, It i'm not tall enough or talk like,
Him but, like have they given Me?
Speaker 2 (44:30):
BIGGIE i don't know IF i would have done, It
oh you would say, NO i don't think you go
anywhere after. THAT i think THAT'S i think that's why
they didn't get an actual famous person to do.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
It you think there's no surviving Playing biggie in a
bio bit nah, man not for a, fat dark.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
DUDE i will say.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
THAT i think it's like everything they ever wanted you to,
be they got, all they got all they could get
out of. You that's like the thing they want you to,
be and you did that exact thing they. Got they already,
got they already. Got what what what else we want
you to? Do you want to be a security guard? Again,
yeah that's. What because we talked about. It i'm VERY
(45:13):
i don't beyond that ship when i'm acting, ever because
it's like once they get you over, there and it's
like they're all just trying to get you to Play.
Biggie if you're fatt and dark, SKID i want you
to Be, biggie or they want you to be at
some kind of unsexual.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Blog at YOUR jfl, audition somebody, WHISPERED i think he
could Be. Biggie, yeah and that was they were planning.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
That that was they had me ready and they, said
Now i'm going to be a teacher on a mid level.
CARTOON i was a lawyer on that. RIGHT, IMDb, hey
this nigga play a naked.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Baby i'm not. Listening they came, Out he'll play. Whatever
why was an? ANGEL i was The? Lord The. Lord oh,
y'all don't Look. God, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay he
not he' not what you're. THINKING i know the Good.
(46:15):
Man don't put on a. Dress this nigga was a naked.
Baby it wasn't an angel. Though you don't get to
just say it. Like it wasn't boss baby. Black it
was A i was sent down from heaven AND i
was in the army of The. Lord. Yeah, YEAH i
didn't Love they made me, bald but what are you gonna?
Do they really took your hair away from. It it.
Hurt this is. Great, YEAH i had a really good. Time.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Lando we fuck with, You, lando keep, Calling, yeah, man
this is, great and tell all.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
Your other twenty one year old friends From memphis to.
Listen we really need twenty one year olds From memphis
to fuck with. Us that's that's for real.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Though that, ACTUALLY i think will make the difference in
elevating this thing beyond our wildest dream BECAUSE i.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
FORGET i always think it's just like guys like, us
and then, like, NO i GUESS i.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Don't know who listens to this. Podcast in an effort
to not alienate any of our, group how you backed
off of? That immediately listen to this.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
PODCAST i think, WOMEN i think women fuck with, us
WHICH i love, because, like, man it's it's a lot
of dudes on you know WHAT i.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
MEAN i Think i'm always happily surprised at how many
women are excited about what we're.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
DOING i think we're queer. FRIENDLY i think we are queer. Friendly,
YEAH i think we. GOT i think we.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
GOT i think of Anything i've ever done in, comedy
the group Of Little mamas is like the fan Base
i'm the proudest of helping build.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Up, yeah you guys are you guys are dope when
they come.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Out it's always you're, like, man, yeah like it's just
you feel like, minded, like, no it's it's it's almost
always dope people who fuck with.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Us and that, said we'll turn against you in a.
Second also that being, said my venmo is if you
want to pay it FOR i will not be your.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
CHAMPION i will eventually say something so vile that you
are going to have to wrestle with how long you've
invested in, Me i'm not.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Going to win for. You and because of, that you're fucking.
Up i've been this the whole, time saying how are
you gonna make any? Money? Anyways you want to tell
them what cool shit you got going? On, yeah see
(48:41):
me on. Tour i'm gonna be on.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Tour The Aspiring Deadbeat tour. Continues i'm In Pittsburgh november
fourteenth and. Fifteenth november, Sixteenth i'm IN. Dc november, nineteenth
i am In austin and it continues from. There you
can get all the tickets At Lengthston kerman dot com
and uh and and follow me on on all social
(49:05):
media At Langston kerrman on all them.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Websites september, Thirtieth my special comes Out birth of A
nation on. YouTube uh but, yeah so watch. That you,
Know I'm I'm i'm doing stand updates In Los. Angeles
come see.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
That, yeah come see what my man IN La you're
in the same. City now it's. Done i'm hot right,
Now i'm funny as fun going. Crazy now you did
Me zach And mandel's show and you. Destroyed and if
if you.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Guys are in THE la, area come see our our
live show Me Zach Fox, mandel no last.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Name do. That, lando pull Up crazy and There.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
Lando you will give you. Five we'll let you just
Talk rando for a. Second, yeah it'd be great.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Year.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
Olds, oh send us your own, drops your own, conspiracies
tell us what racist slurs you have for. Robots all
at My mama pod at gmail dot. Com we would
love to hear from. You like, subscribe rate, review give
us a call at a four Four Little moms by
the merch love on each other and by, Bitch.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
I'm, Short i'm, BOLD i can't get any. Holes i'm
fighting my entire.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Life My Mama Told me is a production Of Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players network And iHeart.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
Podcasts greeted and hosted By Langston krektin co hosted By David, Bori.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Executive produced By Will, Ferrell hansani And Olivia.
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Akilon co produced By Bee, wayne edited and engineered By Justin,
komon music By Nick, chambers.
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Artwork By Dogon.
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Kreega you can now watch episodes Of My Mama Told
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Langston Kerman
David Gborie
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