September 12, 2023 • 52 mins
Are white people aliens? Langston and David talk with recent My Momma Told Me live guest, Skyler Higley (Conan), about this wild conspiracy theory, the connections between Mormonism and extraterrestrial life, and where the hell the Caucasus region is. Is adoption another form of abduction? Allergies from the sun and more are also discussed in this crazy episode.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Yeah, the whole that movie. God, that was a big one.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It was like that Men in Black and Rush Hour
probably the three biggest media events of my child. Wow.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Seeing for me that she was like Star Wars episode
one watch not a great start. No, that's how the
rest of my life is gone.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
That It was like that nine eleven.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Nine eleven, the movie.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Right over me, the nine eleven movie starring Dog Shoot
Big Chips in your.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
Kala bears are racists.
Speaker 6 (00:53):
Money was turning stuff I can't tell me, tingle ling
a ling school, bell, I ring knife on fork, I
fight fit, I'm plan.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
This is my mama told me.
Speaker 7 (01:12):
The podcast where we dived deep, deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
And we finally worked to prove that Lil Kim was
in fact the original inspiration for the Black Little Mermaid movie.
When she came to the MTV Awards in that purple
outfit with her one titty out we all remembered it, Hey,
that woman her money.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Disney, Goddamn, that's that You're onto something.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Now, come on, it's the same outfit.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah, they weren't putting They wasn't putting pasties on titties
before Low Kim decided to do it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
That was the titty herd around the world.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
And what sound did it make?
Speaker 8 (01:56):
Boy?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
What's out.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
When Diana Ross shook it? You all remember, you all
remember Diana Ross shaking that titty.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
We all remember Diana Raj shaking that titty.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
That was a big day for me. I'm David BORDI.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I'm Likeston Carman, and I am I didn't know what
sound that titty made, but I do now and I'll
never forget it.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, that was not as good as I wanted it
to sound.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Buddy, I don't like that you're even regretting a second
of it. It was phenomenal. I couldn't be prouder of you.
I think to even show doubt in this moment is
merely your insecurity and not a reflection of how good
it was.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I really appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah, man, that was good.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Our guest today, our guess today. He might have different
opinions on what a titty is meant to sound like.
I'm not sure we've never talked about this, but we
we've spent quite a bit of time together. He's a
hilarious comedian and he's so fucking funny. You know him
as a writer for for Conan. You know him from
(03:04):
Comedy Central, you know him as one of the brilliant
minds behind the Onion. He's so fucking great. I love
him so much. Give it up for Skyler Higley.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
All right, hey, look, I think a titty can make
any sound you wanted to make. I would I would
have accept if you had been like I would have like, yeah, yeah,
that's a titty sound. Also, to me, the titty heard
around the world was Janet Jackson's titty.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I remember. I remember that.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
That was like the titty I saw with my parents
and they were like, horrible.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
I mean that might have been.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
That was titty.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Actually, whoa, whoa, whoa, Okay, damn, that was a big titty.
Uh More. Metaphorically, I think it's an average It's an
average titty in real life.
Speaker 9 (03:51):
I don't think shout titties like that. Well, whoa big fan,
big fan, good size, got big titties. You think Janet
has big titties.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I don't think she has little titties.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
I think the respect I have for them looms large. Yes,
I think that that. I hold Janet's titties in a
big place in my heart.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Like that famous poster.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
But if you remember that poster, there wasn't a lot
spilling out on the other side. Those titties were nicely
cupped inside that uh that five ft eleven man's hands.
And listen, all titties matter, you know what I'm saying.
So like, and boy, am I not disparaging those titties.
I'd love to see them then. I'd love to see
(04:40):
them today.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Janet email me if you're listening, hit me up.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I'm on Twitter.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yo. What if Janet emailed you a nude from like
a Yahoo.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Whoa Janet Jackson at yahoo dot com, like a black
planet Janet dash Jackson. She couldn't get the original?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
No, no, somebody snap up early.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Yeah, Skyler, you you came to us today with a
conspiracy theory that I think we were surprised to not
have fully covered on this podcast. We've I think dug
into it slightly in a mini episode, but never had
like a full conversation about it. But you said, my
mama told me white people are aliens. Yeah, tell us everything.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
You.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Well, here's the thing, right, what do they do? They colonize,
they oppressed, they come it, the sun hurts.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Them, the sun, the regular sun. That's why is the
sun hurting you?
Speaker 4 (05:47):
This is a planet that everything that all the life
that we have on this planet comes from the sun.
With the plants eat the sun with the chlor chlorophyll,
and then as animals eat.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
The plants and we eat it. You studied a little bit,
but you got it because I was I was trying
to think of the process of you know, when plants
be eaten.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
I forgot that word, and I wanted to sound smart,
but I realized I forgot a word while I was
trying to sound smart.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Point B. But but you found a better word, the
one that we don't all know. It's like you're you're
nailing it, keep going.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
But then they get like burned in the sun. And
I mean, and I know we all do, but then
like very easily, and you know, and it's it's also
I just think it's suspicious how a lot of other
cultures have in many ways learned to live harmoniously and
and relatively where they were at. Yeah, there was you know,
(06:48):
there was different conquests and conquering and stuff. But but
the one race that globally did it everywhere, white Concazoids.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
You know, Yeah, I mean they got they got boats
and went crazy.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Right right, right, So you know there's that It just
seems like they're on some alien ship a little bit
like why don't you know how to live with everybody else? Yeah,
you're saying that that their inability to function with a
sort of symbiotic relationship the way that every other race
(07:26):
has figured out is enough evidence that they ain't necessarily
from here.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, there's no like cause okay, this this is gonna
there's no like white bush people.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
No exactly, you know what I mean, there's no people
from anywhere. It's like they're all like dark. So like
where did these where do all the light skin come from?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
They haven't found like an unknown white tribe roaming the tundra, right,
you know what I'm saying, There's there's no like white
group of white people, like, oh, we found them living
the same way they were living twenty thousand years ago.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Yeah, yeah, Yeah, they seem to have mostly popped up
with not only like sort of finished evolution, but also
like malicious evolution. Right, Like there's no, like you said,
there's no sort of like neutral lifestyle to the way
that the white people live. It's it's always in fucking
(08:26):
gear V for violence type shit.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Yeah, it's always gotta be on that like, you know,
assimilate and destroy like hive mind kind of shit.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
So I mean it's it's suspicious to say the very least. Okay,
I love where this is going. I think the question
I immediately have is do you have a sense or frankly,
maybe this is even jumping the gun a little bit,
but do you have a feeling of where they might
in fact be from? Has that ever been a part
(08:59):
of the conversation or are you just like y'all ain't
from here. That's all why.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I just feel like, like bro, Like Carl Sagan even
said bro like he was like, oh, we're from the start.
Carl Sagan said it out loud. He was talking about
the elements and stars make up the human body. No,
I think he was saying, actually, us white people aren't
from the planet Earth. I think that anywhere that they
(09:25):
are from. We know the planets in this Solar System
otherwise aren't habitable, so it's got to be outside of
the Solar System. We still don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
But and I think that's such a tough question because,
like anytime you see a foreigner. You're like, I don't
know where he's from, but I know he's not from here.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah. Yeah, you got that goofy Dutch look in his eyes.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
And I don't know if he's from if he's from there,
but but I can see that goofy shit in his face.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I know your grandparents don't live up the street.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Right, that's what.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
And you know what speaking about goofy shit, like all
of their culture seems kind of alienist too, like Dutch,
and they're like making like googoo clocks and stuff and
being and their languages.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yeah, you know I wouldn't shoot Yeah, why Yeah? How
did you even get this wind?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Not even the comfiest thing?
Speaker 4 (10:21):
You know, those windmills were like based on their like
spaceships or something like deep in the recesses of their minds, you.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, they're trying to get back. Do you think they're trying?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
They're being called home, and that's why they're trying to
ultimately make this planet uninhabitable, because somewhere deep down their
program to go back home.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
WHOA, If I'm hearing you correctly, you're saying that that, okay,
they are getting this fucking like page from home and
the only way they feel able to escape this planet
is by destroying it.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I mean that's what they've been doing the whole time anyways.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Right, that's true. And see that's another very sod of
some sort.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Right.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
I think there was a plan in place and then
and I think they populated much more than they know.
So I think that like with like with ants, where
like there is a plan but they don't consciously know
about it, but it's like subconscious and they're like acting
that out. I think that's a lot of what they're doing.
That's why it's like we're gonna we gotta advance tech
(11:27):
and kill the environment. Like it's all the same thing.
I don't know about being called home though. I think
that it's more of like a white people might be
a space virus.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Whoa exactly?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I mean, I don't know about that.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Come on, man, you can admit that you're a fucking dork,
is okay.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I like that Star Trek First Contact movie a lot.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
I've never seen it never.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I saw it in theaters. It's pretty good, and I.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Be honest, I've never watched any Star Trek movies, uh
really ever, not one that bennettict cumberbat ship where he
came in fucked him up. I think maybe I saw
the first of the new run with what's the handsome
guy's name? Chris Uh yeah, Chris Tucker. Chris Tucker, Chris
(12:27):
Tucker Star trek though, what are you doing on my ship? Man?
Beat me up?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
That we got to see bro? I still want to
see the fifth element too, oh man?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Wasn't he he was what
president and that ship or or something? Deebo was president
right right, that's where he was just like a celebrity. Yeah,
he's like a radio DJ type of situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you could be president. And then second one, why not?
(13:10):
I wanted to have that very We need to realistic
to where Earth has become.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Presidency has clearly jumped the shop. We're not gonna let
anybody go. Yeah, we could let anybody do it.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Now, it's true. That's true. So I guess the question
I immediately have, Well, rather, the question that I think
should be a starting point in this conversation is where
did this come from?
Speaker 4 (13:34):
For you?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Was this something that you heard or or or were
you given this as as a theory to latch onto
or is this something you built completely of your own observations.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
I think that, No, this has definitely come from I
think like with friends where I think it first germinated.
When I'd be like talking to some friends about like
complaining of about some like weird like you know, racist
ship or something, and you know there will be just
be something that happens where it's just like like why
(14:08):
do you act like that?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Like why are they acting like that?
Speaker 4 (14:11):
Like you know, you have those like small moments that
it'll be like I guess now we commonly call them
microaggressions or whatever, but it'd just be like, oh, but
like why do they do that? Like why are they
so tricky? Why are they so untrustworthy? Something like that,
you know what I mean? Tricky and sneakier two loaded words.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
But they are. Though. You gotta be real careful which
races you use those words.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Oh No, okay, all right, that's fair. I'm not saying Look,
I'm not saying any type.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Of oh oh, we used it all the time on
this podcast. I'm just making you aware.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Sure there was a head that could have gotten gotten
close to it, but like you know, no, Kanye, I'll
say that on any of this No, Kanye.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
You know I'm not what I'm saying. They and we
know who they are if you're listening, they is is
not who you think it is.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
I think it's just it can it can, it can definitionally,
it can include. But it's not about who you're trying to.
You know, it's very broad. But what I'm saying is,
So that's where it.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Started, I guess. And then the wrinkle of just like
how do you get so sunburnt so easily? Like? How
how does that?
Speaker 4 (15:32):
We've been on the Earth for so long and so
you're just supposed to stay like in the areas of
nos Like what are your bacteria?
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Like, why do you need to stay where there's not sun?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
It seems like a deficiency at this point.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
But how and and so with that deficiency to the biosphere,
then how having such a deficiency like physically, then how
you come to be like worldwide conquerors? That's alien shit.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Well here's a question that I have and I don't
I don't want you guys to get crazy in me
for not knowing. How do Asians do in the sun?
Speaker 3 (16:11):
I don't think very well. I've I've spent a little
bit of time in Asia, both in China and in Japan,
and they be walking around with like umbrellas. That's what
I thought to protect themselves. Now, I will say that
some of that also, I don't think it's necessarily their
skin being burned as often as you would think, but
(16:32):
more of them not wanting to tan because paler skin
is sort of like treated as like a you know,
a fucking amenity. It's like a cool thing to have
your skin be pale out there. So I don't necessarily
know that it's one hundred percent that like they don't
handle it great. But I don't think they handle it great.
I think like in general, they get a they get burned,
(16:54):
you know.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
But I've seen some pretty dark scandations and that's all
I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Say about it, right, Yeah, I think they run the gamut,
similar to to what a lot of countries try to
keep hush hush in their reflections of like what their
people look like.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I mean, if you notice a lot of those K
pop guys light skinned, similar to R, R and B.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, yeah, very much. Those those from US, they look
like porcelain.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Though those K Pop look I'm not trying to be
they're they're like they got some very specific going on
there with their whole like aesthetic where they like because
they like train for like certain things, so they also
like aesthetically go for like Right, aren't they trying.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
To be like the whitest that they can?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
I think I think there are a tough measure of anything,
because my understanding is that they make those boys like
train in like facilities for years to be able to
earn the spot on one of these K pop like.
Speaker 10 (17:57):
Modern What was Joe Jackson's house, Yeah, he only had
five boys, But we're saying that like Michael was the
original juhn Koock or whatever his name is.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I hope that was the right name. Otherwise I think that's.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
A I think that's his name. But if that's how
you pronounce it, good for you. That's not what I've
been saying in my head.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Or in our text threat.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
But no, I do think to your point that it's
hard to know specifically why white people have such a
challenging relationship with the sun when everyone else at least
has a more moderate relationship with the sun. Right that, like,
they are the only ones that are truly like when
(18:53):
the fucking sun comes out, and everybody else at least
is managing it like.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
And like fair skinned people like bruises and stuff like that.
Like it's it's very like it's not only like the sun,
but like you know, like physical like three D reality.
I don't know, like different relationships with like our natural world.
It feels like it just feels like more separated from it.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Right, Their teeth don't grow right, you know, like whoa
British people? You know what I'm saying, Like the Britch
people's teeth don't. Man, we gotta be specific.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
You gotta be clear when you start that sentence, because
it sounded us if you're like white people across the board.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
I'm making a really I mean, this conspiracy I think
is the most like racist I could like I would
be because I'm making a lot of broad statements today.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
We thank you.
Speaker 9 (19:53):
Because here's my question because okay, here's what I don't
understand about all this, and I think this is a
decent point. Is that if because it's supposed to be
some type of an adaptation, right the skin becoming white. Yeah,
but if it doesn't work, then how did they they
were maladapted? That doesn't that almost makes you think like
(20:17):
that seems like some type of species that didn't continue
like how like we were better than the Neanderthals or whatever,
Like why would it have adapted so poorly?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Mmm?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 4 (20:30):
No, It's like it's like, yeah, I get what you're saying.
It's like a trait that, as far as we understand,
like natural selection and evolution works like a trait that
should have been selected out of. But then why was
it a trait that like kept going forward?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
How did it keep going if it was support? When
was that ever an advantage? When? And where was that
ever an advantage? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
And I do think to your point, there's a sort
of like a parasitic quality to that, right Skylar, about
how you were saying they're a parasite from space essentially,
Like there, that is how parasites work, right that, Like
they have a bunch of disadvantages built into their fucking biochemistry,
(21:14):
but they attach onto other things to basically thwart those disadvantages,
to overcome them. And in that way, it does feel
like white skin sort of lives in that space of
being like, yeah, all right, we fucked up, but will
eat you to make sure that we are able to
overcome our shitty skin. In its relationship and.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Then what we fucked up a woman that the bureaucracy
now was exactly well, And that's what I think you
need to do in those situations, is that is that
over compensation with like white supremacy and like eugenics and stuff, being.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Like oh yeah, like we are like this because we're
the best, like lighter skin is better, Like we're our
skulls are the of the best ones. We're more intellectual
because you're like coming up with ways to justify like no, no, no,
no no, we're not like you know, weird or you know,
(22:11):
quote unquote worse than in any way.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
We're actually like the supreme.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
You know what I'm saying, Like we all do it
short king season exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Ain't no reason y'all should believe you're winning.
Speaker 11 (22:25):
And yeah, everywhere I turn on the internet, there's some
short motherfucker being like God is great.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Another beautiful day, being five four.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I love.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I love my little step ladder that I got to
climb on to the cabinet. It's beautiful. I have been.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I love swinging my legs off a chain.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Oh I am so close to the ground. Look at
you idiots touching the earth when you sit down, suck
a post center of gravity when that. When I was
in college, there was remember when Facebook groups were a thing, Uh, scholar,
you probably don't remember this, but there there was an
error where Facebook groups were like very popular and used
(23:13):
to have to like ask for permission to join cool
groups so that you could be up on private conversations
whatever the fuck. And there was a group at college
called God is a fair Man that was dedicated to
black men who are under five eight because they they
(23:33):
it was like, oh, we're all gorgeous and fucking sexy,
but God is fair so he had to make us.
He had to make us short. It's like, so it's
just a bunch of short dudes hyping each other up.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I liked it when we were talking about five five guys.
Now you're kind of getting into my water. You know what,
fuck you guys. White people have been here the whole time.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
All right, we need to take a break. We're gonna
be back with more Skyler Higley and more.
Speaker 8 (24:05):
My mama told me, oh my gosh, the cat, get
the cat out of here.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh absolutely not cat, and white people you also got
to go because you are aliens. We are back with
Sky Hickley discussing the possibility of maybe Caucasians from.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Out of this play.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, uh, Skyler, I do think it's worth mentioning that
you grew up in a household with white parents. Was
this something you had thought about during that experience where
you like looking at them as an alien source or
was this more more amicable relationship at the time.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
I mean, we want to think about it now. Adopted, abducted,
it's right there.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
It's right there.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Yeah, like I could be I can't spell on the
other roughly, it's there. They're similar.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
I didn't even think about that till this moment, but
it's like right there, like maybe I am the one
who was a bit who got taken up into the
like there, you know, metaphorical ship. And now I'm coming
back talking crazy, but.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
It's part of it. So to answer your question directly,
you know, relatively relatively.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
Amicaville then I wasn't, you know, But I just think
in retrospect because I grew up in Salt Lake City,
Utah and all this stuff, when I think about what
the experience is, what was there in uh, you know,
if you're ever in like an all white place versus
going outside of that you would think that like based
on like what even the culture was relative to everywhere else,
(26:06):
I could be like, oh yeah, like I could see
how those people are actually aliens and like people who
are pretending to be people, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
And it does feel to that point like Salt Lake
City is them attempting to recreate a planet that doesn't
quite exist on this earth, you know what I mean,
where they're like, no, we're going to make a world
that's real specific to shit we like, and no one
else is going to ever want to be a part
of it.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
That was also it's bad, bad at it, right, You
pick the dumbest place to make a big, giant town,
big old great salt flats.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Idiots.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
None of those things are good about the world salt flat.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Yeah, yeah, it's not ideal, but but that is what
they chose.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
And they said that's fast.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
They showed up there and and the you know, the
prophet guy the Mormon Church was like, this is the place,
this is where God set aside for us middle of
the desert. God said this aside, this is what it's
gotta be. No, come on, no, in case God's kind
of a deadbeat day, very much.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
It was like, hey, y'all, I just checked my bank
account and it looks like we're staying here. I think
this is actually the best place turns out according to
the amount of money I have left.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Also, I'm realizing, like bring it up now, like Mormonism
involves like alien shit, Like that's like part of that's
like part of it where like you know, after you die,
if you were like a real good person and go
to like the top heaven, there's three heavens. You know,
they're ranked. Thank god you got junior varsity and the
(27:47):
varsity and all this shit, but.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
The bottom heaven, the worst one.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Is it tiered, Like yeah, it's tiered like that.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
It's like, oh, this one's kind of good, this one's
you know, but then if you go to the top
one and you keep advancing, you get to have your
own planet, get to be a god of your own
plan in it, because our.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
God is like somebody who's gone through that process. So
it's like the same way.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
It's like a germination of like disrepoling. The whole cosmology
is based on, like, yeah, this thing like going out
through the universe, which is also just you know, same
alien ship.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Yeah, that's that's fucking intense, because I think most Judo Christian,
Judeo Christian fucking Judos, you were right, don't doubt most
Karate Christians don't. They don't fuck around with space at
least in the pitch right, Like they're sort of like, nah,
(28:43):
God is above us. Space don't really matter. He just
is always above wherever. However you see that. But for
y'all to be like, nah, there are planets out there.
You get to keep one if you if you're good enough,
and they even say that's spooky ship.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
There was even a point where they like named, oh
I'm trying to remember the name of the planet, but
they're like they'll be like, God is out there in
space on a specific planet.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I think it's called colob is the planet. Like I
was gonna guess white Jupiter, White Jupiter, Caucasian Venus whatever. Yeah,
it's like.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Honkey Mars.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
One day, Honky Mars can be yours, eat your vegetables
if you want your taste of honkey Mars, don't curse,
or you can go to You can't go to Honkey Mars.
You're gonna go to You're gonna go to light skinned
Pluto and that.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Coon Venus.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Don't go to Asian Saturn. That's scary, hey man, that's
the we're saying. We're doing the character.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
We're in character. We're in character. I'm not saying. I'm
not saying I would love to go to Skylar. I
have a few pieces of research that I'd love to
run your way and get your thoughts on. Although this
this Mormon sort of like uh, I guess uh space
(30:26):
ship is something that I had not considered in some
of the reading that I did, but one of the
first things that that I sort of found, and this
is something I think we've talked about on the podcast.
But even the reference to Caucasians is a false reference
that like Caucasians do not in fact, that what we
(30:46):
call Caucasians white people do not in fact come from
the Caucus Mountains, that that the name originates from the
Caucaus Mountains, as if I'm understanding correctly, are prize of Georgia,
Armenia and Azerbaijan, and the Caspian Sea and the Black
(31:07):
Sea are also a part of this region, and the
white people did not actually originate there. In fact, they
supposedly the human race didn't actually move over there until
about fifty thousand years ago, right. But part of the
reason that we refer to white people as Caucasians is
(31:28):
because of this old ass German scientist Johann Friedrich Blumenbach, who, yeah, buddy,
wait till you hear what he's got to say about things,
who in seventeen ninety five decided the human species needed
to be separated into five races. Caucasian which was the
(31:49):
white race, Mongolian, the yellow race, Malayan which was the
brown race, Ethiopian the black race, and American the red race.
So the motherfucker was woke at least to know that native.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Sounds.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
So he was like, and did he have it? Is
it like I'm imagining whatever? Like chart he has is
like a pyramid and like your white race is on
the top.
Speaker 7 (32:17):
And he's like, he absolutely, white people are wearing sweets
and oils.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
He said he considered the Caucasus Mountains the origin of
Caucasian people because they were the He thought of them
as the first race on Earth, which he chose the
Caucasus Mountains because it was consistent with I guess old
science that suggested that was the place of human origin.
And the Bible describes Noah landing his arc at a
(32:47):
place called Mount Ariot. I don't know how to say this,
Arara rat there you go, which was thought by Europeans
the blooming blocks time to be on the modern Turkish
Armenian border. So he just basically was like, Yo, if
that's where we're saying the original people are from, then
that's where white people are from, and therefore we are
(33:08):
these people. And then public discourse made it so you
know what I mean, we be they became Caucasians because
they spread that round.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You see how they just be failing upwards exactly. That's
on government forms. Yeah, that's it's it's.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
The most technical way that we refer to them, and
it's not even truly.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
Incorrect, because the Johann Friedrich whatever his name is, is
a fucking alien op Like, I feel like he's one
of the ones that like knew and remember and he's like, yeah,
I gotta put this stuff for I gotta like separate
it all out, and then we're gonna we're gonna tell
him we're from the mountains because we're not supposed to
(33:48):
be here at all. And then if somebody's like, where
are you from, Like, is the fucking caucas mountains like done.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
Yeah, yeah, that's see, that's some bullshit. Here's something that's
even more fascinating recent studies. And we talked about this
actually on the Zach Fox episode where we talk about
(34:16):
the legend of Yakoob and Yakub, if you're unfamiliar, is
believed to be an ancient scientist who created white people
on a basically an island and forced them to germinate
until we got to the white race. He was an evil,
big headed black scientist that made white people. That said,
(34:39):
we talked about this previously, but Europe looked almost nothing
like the Eurocentric features we now associate with white people
Europeans today, and that whiteness, in fact, is only believed
to be about eight thousand years old. Wow, And so
(35:00):
they claimed to be like them.
Speaker 7 (35:03):
I actually am one point Fourian Africans.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Okay, you were in the middle of a thought, but
don't let that throw you off. No, but I was
still thinking like that.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
So they're only that's eight thousand years old, and yet
they claim like where where does the claim like the
same way that science just assumedly was like the Earth
is the center of the universe, like the Earth centric model,
and then it's like, oh okay, like heliocentric happened after that,
like what people did the same thing of Like the
(35:39):
dude from the Cocazoid Mountains was like, oh, we're first,
but like.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Like there was no what was the evidence for being first?
Was it just gut feelings like just just peer want
and will dog it seems like just being like nah,
this if this is I think it was bad science
previously right where they're like we the human species seems
to have originated in this area. And then he ran
(36:08):
with that shit and was like, well if humans are
are from here, then that's where we're from. End of conversation.
And frankly, human migration happened fifty thousand years forty two
thousand years before white people even existed into that area.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Yeah. See, so then what happened?
Speaker 3 (36:28):
That's the question, that's the big question.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
How did we get these modern day whites? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (36:34):
Like literally where what was the thing? Where did that
come from? Like there's not And also what did the
old school whites look like they were? Yeah, because I've
seen a few white guys who look like they're from
a different time mm hmm. Greg Olster tag.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Okay, I can see that. Yeah, yeah, George Mirason, that
motherfucker a from.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Come on, that's from Wow, that's as magic.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Yeah bigs NBA player looks. Come on, man, what's his name?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
He's a nugget?
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Now, David. David's from uh from Denver? So right, I
got it back off? Okay, carefully when you're not from
Sweet Boys.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
It's fine. But you know they are the NBA Championships,
you know, act accordingly. Yeah, Tommy wizzouh Yeah, that comes
from space for.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Sure, for sure.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
I think there's there are a few people where you
look at them and you go like, huh, that ain't
exactly what we calculated it to be. And if you
even think about, like the regional breakdowns of some some
things that we qualify as white but are in fact
something else, Like Russia and China border each other at
a certain part of you know, their their countries and
(38:02):
ship and if you look at the people who live
in those like regions near Russia and China, they don't
look like Chinese people or Russian people. Yeah, fucking me,
La kunis is Ukrainian. And that ain't that ain't it?
You know what I mean? Like that ain't what we
thought that was most like there's a there's a bunch
(38:30):
of weird sort of like I think if you if
you look at the way they look, they can stand
as evidence of what white people probably have bred out
of their own genetic history at a andy our most
optimistic and if we're moving in the place of your conspiracy, Skyler,
(38:51):
then maybe this is what was originally there and these
white people are just aliens sort of usurping that space, right.
And I'm not saying either, I just have questions. I
just I just question. I don't I think that I just.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Want to see the birth certificate.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Yeah, I just want to see why can't look why
can't we you know? Like yeah, And I feel like
if you even want to go on like some Bible ship,
like on some biblical you know whatever, like human histories
or whatever, like, I don't know. I believe that this
(39:26):
thought just came to mind. I believe that Eve was
a white woman.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
She fucks some things up. I would believe that I
think we I.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Don't think there was any arguing that. I think we
were all the same guys.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
I think this is moving against the argu No, no, no,
you're right, Look, you're right. Sometimes the thought just comes
to MINDY don't support the argument.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
But sometimes we're just saying we think we're well, yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:52):
Yeah, I think, But I think the point is if
we don't actually I think what the most interesting part
of it is, in the rhetorical argumentative sense, we don't
actually have a clear view of where they came from.
And yet there's been so much colonization out of that.
(40:14):
Why of that specific genetic coil, whether or not they're
from here or not, maybe not, probably not, but whether
or not they're from here, why out of that then
came so much you know, what is the the white impulse?
I'll say, for like global colonization and oppression of so
(40:37):
many different kinds of people, especially given that like we're
not completely like aware of where they're from in the
first place, suspicious right To add to that, I will
say that even like sort of the idyllic white person
that we now understand, right, the blonde hair blue eyes
(40:58):
that Hitler was so horny for.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
That shit based off of research suggests that that blue
eyes specifically are only about six thousand years old and
are labeled specifically as a genetic mutation. It is not
sort of the standard. It is a thing that mutated
out of the standard. Basically the eyes the pupil's inability
(41:23):
to create melanin caused someone's eyes to turn blue, and
that it's believed to be a European person, but we
don't know what kind of European it was, or specifically
if it was a European that we now understand, But
that then became a genetic mutation that carried forward and
now a bunch of people haven't h Yeah, bro, that
(41:45):
it's it's suspicious because you take that and go, oh,
the mutation and the newest stuff and the you know,
all of the most like uncommon traits, is then like
the ideal No, no, bro.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Yeah, that seems that sus in and of itself.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
That the EU, the most marketed beauty standard across the world,
is like the Eurocentric beauty standard, which is like the
most sort of niche and least able to be replicated
by most of the people in the world. Is like
that seems like some somewhere else over compensating type shit
(42:27):
that to oppress the people that belong on this planet
so that we can take it over and you know,
drain their blood for our spaceships or whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
They're trying to do.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Oh, and I do. I will say to that point
that that does feel like even if you remove the
alien from this conversation, right, which I am not. I'm
merely suggesting that you could remove it and still point
to the fact that there is something unhealthy inhuman frankly,
(42:58):
in the way that white people approached their own beauty standards,
their own sort of like selling of the white self,
right that, like, you have this niche thing, and instead
of recognizing that you are sort of a person needing
to be a part of a larger community, you go,
we will create a system where only our thing is
(43:19):
acceptable and everything else is sort of left at the wayside,
despite us being the fucking minority across the board.
Speaker 4 (43:28):
And to add to that what we have going on
with beauty standards now and more recently, and this has
been a thing to this point, but like the different
appropriations of both culture esthetic different kinds of bodies, like
just trying to get like fatter asses, which is like
(43:49):
kind of from like other different cultures or different like
facial features for like this amalgamation of like the Instagram
face too, which is like predicated also like mostly by
white people picking and choosing things from like other cultures,
like what is that aside from body snatching? Alien stuff?
Alien stuff?
Speaker 3 (44:08):
Fuck?
Speaker 4 (44:09):
Damn, fuck, I'm convincing myself right now. I honestly don't
believe it that much. But now, God damn, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Now now we're all now we all got up back. Wow.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
No, that that body snatch and that hit that really Uh.
I thought we were just doing a muse boosh, but
that was uh, that was a goddamn meal. You just
sat in front of us.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
I like it a lot.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
The last thing I'll say as far as the research
is concerned, is that one of the things that made
me think about is how much of our planet remains unexplored.
Right specifically if we think about the oceans and how
little we know of what came out of the oceans.
And very recently I came across the conspiracy theory. Uh,
(44:57):
and keep take this with a grain of salt, but
there's a person on TikTok arguing that potentially space that
we understand it, or sort of, the aliens that we're
worried about are in fact maybe coming out of the
oceans rather than coming out of the sky that like,
as we are sitting here worried about like these intergalactic
(45:18):
creatures whatever, there very well could be a bunch of
creatures crawling out from the bottom of the earth. And
there is an argument to be made that maybe what
we're talking about is not necessarily alien in the space
sense for white people, but maybe alien in the under
the earth and or water sense. And that's that's where
(45:43):
the debate can live.
Speaker 4 (45:44):
Oh so there came out of this sea like later
because we all involved.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
From like hence the milky white skin. You don't need
it done.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
Because you're not.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (45:56):
Come, I feel like they had those little it's like
a dude from Wisconsin.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
They had those little like light things that came off
their foreheads like those little fish to and then as
soon as that shit fell off and they evolved out.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Of that, get on land drop.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
Yeah, look, I'm just a reporter.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 12 (46:18):
No, you're taking sides, but but it doesn't feel crazy
that they that they may have crawled out from from
under the deep.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
Yeah, they like it colder. I'm pretty sure it's pretty
cold down there. They like pretty sure. They say it's
pretty chilly underwater.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Flavors they like bland flavors.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
It's bland down there. It's not spicy down there.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
And if if we really want to take this a
step further, it could also be the reason why they're
not that afraid of the sea levels rising as they
should be. Right the planet's coming back on the sea
levels are rising, They're like, that's cool.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
And that's some anti black too, because they're trying to
drown us because they think we can't swim.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Come on, yeah, don't stop.
Speaker 4 (47:10):
Yeah, it's just facts. I think I really think that
it's just I really think that it is just facts.
I'm not even I think that it could be from space,
from the sea. I'm honestly pretty convinced by the sea
one too. But that's what they're trying to do. Man,
Why why destroy the earth so much if you're really
from here?
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Damn.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
It's when you break it down that simply white people
who listen to the show, If you have a counter argument,
we welcome it. We really would love to hear whatever
whatever you have to say. But keep in mind, Skylet
puts some ship down that you're going to have a
lot of trouble refuting at this point.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Also know the tone that I'm going to read in
your emails going to be very condescending, regardless of how.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
I read it.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
Universally, my mine known as said that we.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
That sounds like an alien already, that sounds like an
alien's voice.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
It does sounds like the Martian from Looting.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
To Well, Skylar, I think we did it.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
I think this something got done.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
Something got done, and certainly you you did it. Could
you tell the people where they could find you and
what cool shit you have going on? I am on on.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
Twitter at Skyler Hickley on Instagram at Skyler Hickley. Again,
just type in my name s k y l e
r h I g l e Y. You'll find me
what I got going on. I'm doing shows about to
be in Austin on the twenty second of September. If
you would like to come out to Caps City Comedy
Club about to be an Austin, and you know that's it.
(49:00):
Look at my tiktoks and my instagrams and my twitters.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
Fuck yeah, Bory, you want to tell people where they
can find you? Ah?
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Yeah, you know, bring David to play dot com. I
am currently in the middle in the midst of my
aluminum foil tour. I'm going all over the place. I
think that we have the Denver shows coming up, and
then after that, after this comes out Minneapolis, Columbus, Cincinnati,
fucking Morgantown, West Virginia. I got some stuff, go to
(49:30):
bring David to play dot com, New York City. I
got some good stuff on there, Bring David to play
dot com. Come out buy some of the merch. People
have been buying it. They've been loving it, all that
good stuff at my mama told me pod subscribe on YouTube,
but maybe slow slow it down a little.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Boris a little worried that we're gonna hit our subscriber
numbers and suddenly have a bigger problem on our hands
than we planned for. But I'm not. I welcome you subscriptions.
We look forward to hearing more from you. As always.
You can follow me at Langston Herman. I would love
to hear from you there, and I have some dates
coming up. Oh, if you want to see me live
(50:13):
the October thirteenth and fourteenth, you can come to the
House of Comedy in New Westminster, British Columbia. I'm gonna
be up in Canada, esh shit and there, Yah, yeah,
exactly that's what I always say.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
Throw another strip on the bar.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
And then October twentieth and twenty first, I'll be at
Dead Crow Comedy in Wilmington, North Carolina. We're making up
that date, so if you live in Wilmington, I would
love for you to still come out if you didn't
get obviously we didn't see each other last time. And
then November tenth and eleventh, I'll be in Burlington, Vermont
(50:53):
at the Vermont Comedy Club. And then finally November seventeenth
and eighteenth, I'll be in Dallas a Hyenas Comedy Nightclub.
And any of those dates I don't know, follow my Instagram.
I'll be updating them and telling you all about them
shit's more frequently than I've been telling you all about
them shit.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
So check it out.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
And as always, if you want to tell us your
own conspiracies, if you want to send us drops, if
you want to explain where in fact white people actually
are from so that we can put an end to
calling you motherfucker's aliens, feel free to send it all
to Mymama pod at gmail dot com. We would love
to hear from you, and that is the whole shebang.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
Bye, bitch, So that's how they get you.
Speaker 5 (51:46):
My quot chips and yours. A Koala Bears are racist.
The host layer hosting money, turkey stuff.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
I can't help make that
Yeah, the whole that movie. God, that was a big one.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It was like that Men in Black and Rush Hour
probably the three biggest media events of my child. Wow.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Seeing for me that she was like Star Wars episode
one watch not a great start. No, that's how the
rest of my life is gone.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
That It was like that nine eleven.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Nine eleven, the movie.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Right over me, the nine eleven movie starring Dog Shoot
Big Chips in your.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
Kala bears are racists.
Speaker 6 (00:53):
Money was turning stuff I can't tell me, tingle ling
a ling school, bell, I ring knife on fork, I
fight fit, I'm plan.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
This is my mama told me.
Speaker 7 (01:12):
The podcast where we dived deep, deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
And we finally worked to prove that Lil Kim was
in fact the original inspiration for the Black Little Mermaid movie.
When she came to the MTV Awards in that purple
outfit with her one titty out we all remembered it, Hey,
that woman her money.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Disney, Goddamn, that's that You're onto something.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Now, come on, it's the same outfit.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah, they weren't putting They wasn't putting pasties on titties
before Low Kim decided to do it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
That was the titty herd around the world.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
And what sound did it make?
Speaker 8 (01:56):
Boy?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
What's out.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
When Diana Ross shook it? You all remember, you all
remember Diana Ross shaking that titty.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
We all remember Diana Raj shaking that titty.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
That was a big day for me. I'm David BORDI.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I'm Likeston Carman, and I am I didn't know what
sound that titty made, but I do now and I'll
never forget it.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, that was not as good as I wanted it
to sound.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Buddy, I don't like that you're even regretting a second
of it. It was phenomenal. I couldn't be prouder of you.
I think to even show doubt in this moment is
merely your insecurity and not a reflection of how good
it was.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I really appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah, man, that was good.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Our guest today, our guess today. He might have different
opinions on what a titty is meant to sound like.
I'm not sure we've never talked about this, but we
we've spent quite a bit of time together. He's a
hilarious comedian and he's so fucking funny. You know him
as a writer for for Conan. You know him from
(03:04):
Comedy Central, you know him as one of the brilliant
minds behind the Onion. He's so fucking great. I love
him so much. Give it up for Skyler Higley.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
All right, hey, look, I think a titty can make
any sound you wanted to make. I would I would
have accept if you had been like I would have like, yeah, yeah,
that's a titty sound. Also, to me, the titty heard
around the world was Janet Jackson's titty.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I remember. I remember that.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
That was like the titty I saw with my parents
and they were like, horrible.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
I mean that might have been.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
That was titty.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Actually, whoa, whoa, whoa, Okay, damn, that was a big titty.
Uh More. Metaphorically, I think it's an average It's an
average titty in real life.
Speaker 9 (03:51):
I don't think shout titties like that. Well, whoa big fan,
big fan, good size, got big titties. You think Janet
has big titties.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I don't think she has little titties.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
I think the respect I have for them looms large. Yes,
I think that that. I hold Janet's titties in a
big place in my heart.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Like that famous poster.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
But if you remember that poster, there wasn't a lot
spilling out on the other side. Those titties were nicely
cupped inside that uh that five ft eleven man's hands.
And listen, all titties matter, you know what I'm saying.
So like, and boy, am I not disparaging those titties.
I'd love to see them then. I'd love to see
(04:40):
them today.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Janet email me if you're listening, hit me up.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I'm on Twitter.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yo. What if Janet emailed you a nude from like
a Yahoo.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Whoa Janet Jackson at yahoo dot com, like a black
planet Janet dash Jackson. She couldn't get the original?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
No, no, somebody snap up early.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Yeah, Skyler, you you came to us today with a
conspiracy theory that I think we were surprised to not
have fully covered on this podcast. We've I think dug
into it slightly in a mini episode, but never had
like a full conversation about it. But you said, my
mama told me white people are aliens. Yeah, tell us everything.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
You.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Well, here's the thing, right, what do they do? They colonize,
they oppressed, they come it, the sun hurts.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Them, the sun, the regular sun. That's why is the
sun hurting you?
Speaker 4 (05:47):
This is a planet that everything that all the life
that we have on this planet comes from the sun.
With the plants eat the sun with the chlor chlorophyll,
and then as animals eat.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
The plants and we eat it. You studied a little bit,
but you got it because I was I was trying
to think of the process of you know, when plants
be eaten.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
I forgot that word, and I wanted to sound smart,
but I realized I forgot a word while I was
trying to sound smart.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Point B. But but you found a better word, the
one that we don't all know. It's like you're you're
nailing it, keep going.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
But then they get like burned in the sun. And
I mean, and I know we all do, but then
like very easily, and you know, and it's it's also
I just think it's suspicious how a lot of other
cultures have in many ways learned to live harmoniously and
and relatively where they were at. Yeah, there was you know,
(06:48):
there was different conquests and conquering and stuff. But but
the one race that globally did it everywhere, white Concazoids.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
You know, Yeah, I mean they got they got boats
and went crazy.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Right right, right, So you know there's that It just
seems like they're on some alien ship a little bit
like why don't you know how to live with everybody else? Yeah,
you're saying that that their inability to function with a
sort of symbiotic relationship the way that every other race
(07:26):
has figured out is enough evidence that they ain't necessarily
from here.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, there's no like cause okay, this this is gonna
there's no like white bush people.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
No exactly, you know what I mean, there's no people
from anywhere. It's like they're all like dark. So like
where did these where do all the light skin come from?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
They haven't found like an unknown white tribe roaming the tundra, right,
you know what I'm saying, There's there's no like white
group of white people, like, oh, we found them living
the same way they were living twenty thousand years ago.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Yeah, yeah, Yeah, they seem to have mostly popped up
with not only like sort of finished evolution, but also
like malicious evolution. Right, Like there's no, like you said,
there's no sort of like neutral lifestyle to the way
that the white people live. It's it's always in fucking
(08:26):
gear V for violence type shit.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Yeah, it's always gotta be on that like, you know,
assimilate and destroy like hive mind kind of shit.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
So I mean it's it's suspicious to say the very least. Okay,
I love where this is going. I think the question
I immediately have is do you have a sense or frankly,
maybe this is even jumping the gun a little bit,
but do you have a feeling of where they might
in fact be from? Has that ever been a part
(08:59):
of the conversation or are you just like y'all ain't
from here. That's all why.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I just feel like, like bro, Like Carl Sagan even
said bro like he was like, oh, we're from the start.
Carl Sagan said it out loud. He was talking about
the elements and stars make up the human body. No,
I think he was saying, actually, us white people aren't
from the planet Earth. I think that anywhere that they
(09:25):
are from. We know the planets in this Solar System
otherwise aren't habitable, so it's got to be outside of
the Solar System. We still don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
But and I think that's such a tough question because,
like anytime you see a foreigner. You're like, I don't
know where he's from, but I know he's not from here.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah. Yeah, you got that goofy Dutch look in his eyes.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
And I don't know if he's from if he's from there,
but but I can see that goofy shit in his face.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I know your grandparents don't live up the street.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Right, that's what.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
And you know what speaking about goofy shit, like all
of their culture seems kind of alienist too, like Dutch,
and they're like making like googoo clocks and stuff and
being and their languages.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yeah, you know I wouldn't shoot Yeah, why Yeah? How
did you even get this wind?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Not even the comfiest thing?
Speaker 4 (10:21):
You know, those windmills were like based on their like
spaceships or something like deep in the recesses of their minds, you.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, they're trying to get back. Do you think they're trying?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
They're being called home, and that's why they're trying to
ultimately make this planet uninhabitable, because somewhere deep down their
program to go back home.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
WHOA, If I'm hearing you correctly, you're saying that that, okay,
they are getting this fucking like page from home and
the only way they feel able to escape this planet
is by destroying it.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I mean that's what they've been doing the whole time anyways.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Right, that's true. And see that's another very sod of
some sort.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Right.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
I think there was a plan in place and then
and I think they populated much more than they know.
So I think that like with like with ants, where
like there is a plan but they don't consciously know
about it, but it's like subconscious and they're like acting
that out. I think that's a lot of what they're doing.
That's why it's like we're gonna we gotta advance tech
(11:27):
and kill the environment. Like it's all the same thing.
I don't know about being called home though. I think
that it's more of like a white people might be
a space virus.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Whoa exactly?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I mean, I don't know about that.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Come on, man, you can admit that you're a fucking dork,
is okay.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I like that Star Trek First Contact movie a lot.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
I've never seen it never.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I saw it in theaters. It's pretty good, and I.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Be honest, I've never watched any Star Trek movies, uh
really ever, not one that bennettict cumberbat ship where he
came in fucked him up. I think maybe I saw
the first of the new run with what's the handsome
guy's name? Chris Uh yeah, Chris Tucker. Chris Tucker, Chris
(12:27):
Tucker Star trek though, what are you doing on my ship? Man?
Beat me up?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
That we got to see bro? I still want to
see the fifth element too, oh man?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Wasn't he he was what
president and that ship or or something? Deebo was president
right right, that's where he was just like a celebrity. Yeah,
he's like a radio DJ type of situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you could be president. And then second one, why not?
(13:10):
I wanted to have that very We need to realistic
to where Earth has become.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Presidency has clearly jumped the shop. We're not gonna let
anybody go. Yeah, we could let anybody do it.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Now, it's true. That's true. So I guess the question
I immediately have, Well, rather, the question that I think
should be a starting point in this conversation is where
did this come from?
Speaker 4 (13:34):
For you?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Was this something that you heard or or or were
you given this as as a theory to latch onto
or is this something you built completely of your own observations.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
I think that, No, this has definitely come from I
think like with friends where I think it first germinated.
When I'd be like talking to some friends about like
complaining of about some like weird like you know, racist
ship or something, and you know there will be just
be something that happens where it's just like like why
(14:08):
do you act like that?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Like why are they acting like that?
Speaker 4 (14:11):
Like you know, you have those like small moments that
it'll be like I guess now we commonly call them
microaggressions or whatever, but it'd just be like, oh, but
like why do they do that? Like why are they
so tricky? Why are they so untrustworthy? Something like that,
you know what I mean? Tricky and sneakier two loaded words.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
But they are. Though. You gotta be real careful which
races you use those words.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Oh No, okay, all right, that's fair. I'm not saying Look,
I'm not saying any type.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Of oh oh, we used it all the time on
this podcast. I'm just making you aware.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Sure there was a head that could have gotten gotten
close to it, but like you know, no, Kanye, I'll
say that on any of this No, Kanye.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
You know I'm not what I'm saying. They and we
know who they are if you're listening, they is is
not who you think it is.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
I think it's just it can it can, it can definitionally,
it can include. But it's not about who you're trying to.
You know, it's very broad. But what I'm saying is,
So that's where it.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Started, I guess. And then the wrinkle of just like
how do you get so sunburnt so easily? Like? How
how does that?
Speaker 4 (15:32):
We've been on the Earth for so long and so
you're just supposed to stay like in the areas of
nos Like what are your bacteria?
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Like, why do you need to stay where there's not sun?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
It seems like a deficiency at this point.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
But how and and so with that deficiency to the biosphere,
then how having such a deficiency like physically, then how
you come to be like worldwide conquerors? That's alien shit.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Well here's a question that I have and I don't
I don't want you guys to get crazy in me
for not knowing. How do Asians do in the sun?
Speaker 3 (16:11):
I don't think very well. I've I've spent a little
bit of time in Asia, both in China and in Japan,
and they be walking around with like umbrellas. That's what
I thought to protect themselves. Now, I will say that
some of that also, I don't think it's necessarily their
skin being burned as often as you would think, but
(16:32):
more of them not wanting to tan because paler skin
is sort of like treated as like a you know,
a fucking amenity. It's like a cool thing to have
your skin be pale out there. So I don't necessarily
know that it's one hundred percent that like they don't
handle it great. But I don't think they handle it great.
I think like in general, they get a they get burned,
(16:54):
you know.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
But I've seen some pretty dark scandations and that's all
I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Say about it, right, Yeah, I think they run the gamut,
similar to to what a lot of countries try to
keep hush hush in their reflections of like what their
people look like.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I mean, if you notice a lot of those K
pop guys light skinned, similar to R, R and B.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, yeah, very much. Those those from US, they look
like porcelain.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Though those K Pop look I'm not trying to be
they're they're like they got some very specific going on
there with their whole like aesthetic where they like because
they like train for like certain things, so they also
like aesthetically go for like Right, aren't they trying.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
To be like the whitest that they can?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
I think I think there are a tough measure of anything,
because my understanding is that they make those boys like
train in like facilities for years to be able to
earn the spot on one of these K pop like.
Speaker 10 (17:57):
Modern What was Joe Jackson's house, Yeah, he only had
five boys, But we're saying that like Michael was the
original juhn Koock or whatever his name is.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I hope that was the right name. Otherwise I think that's.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
A I think that's his name. But if that's how
you pronounce it, good for you. That's not what I've
been saying in my head.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Or in our text threat.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
But no, I do think to your point that it's
hard to know specifically why white people have such a
challenging relationship with the sun when everyone else at least
has a more moderate relationship with the sun. Right that, like,
they are the only ones that are truly like when
(18:53):
the fucking sun comes out, and everybody else at least
is managing it like.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
And like fair skinned people like bruises and stuff like that.
Like it's it's very like it's not only like the sun,
but like you know, like physical like three D reality.
I don't know, like different relationships with like our natural world.
It feels like it just feels like more separated from it.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Right, Their teeth don't grow right, you know, like whoa
British people? You know what I'm saying, Like the Britch
people's teeth don't. Man, we gotta be specific.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
You gotta be clear when you start that sentence, because
it sounded us if you're like white people across the board.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
I'm making a really I mean, this conspiracy I think
is the most like racist I could like I would
be because I'm making a lot of broad statements today.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
We thank you.
Speaker 9 (19:53):
Because here's my question because okay, here's what I don't
understand about all this, and I think this is a
decent point. Is that if because it's supposed to be
some type of an adaptation, right the skin becoming white. Yeah,
but if it doesn't work, then how did they they
were maladapted? That doesn't that almost makes you think like
(20:17):
that seems like some type of species that didn't continue
like how like we were better than the Neanderthals or whatever,
Like why would it have adapted so poorly?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Mmm?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 4 (20:30):
No, It's like it's like, yeah, I get what you're saying.
It's like a trait that, as far as we understand,
like natural selection and evolution works like a trait that
should have been selected out of. But then why was
it a trait that like kept going forward?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
How did it keep going if it was support? When
was that ever an advantage? When? And where was that
ever an advantage? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
And I do think to your point, there's a sort
of like a parasitic quality to that, right Skylar, about
how you were saying they're a parasite from space essentially,
Like there, that is how parasites work, right that, Like
they have a bunch of disadvantages built into their fucking biochemistry,
(21:14):
but they attach onto other things to basically thwart those disadvantages,
to overcome them. And in that way, it does feel
like white skin sort of lives in that space of
being like, yeah, all right, we fucked up, but will
eat you to make sure that we are able to
overcome our shitty skin. In its relationship and.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Then what we fucked up a woman that the bureaucracy
now was exactly well, And that's what I think you
need to do in those situations, is that is that
over compensation with like white supremacy and like eugenics and stuff, being.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Like oh yeah, like we are like this because we're
the best, like lighter skin is better, Like we're our
skulls are the of the best ones. We're more intellectual
because you're like coming up with ways to justify like no, no, no,
no no, we're not like you know, weird or you know,
(22:11):
quote unquote worse than in any way.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
We're actually like the supreme.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
You know what I'm saying, Like we all do it
short king season exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Ain't no reason y'all should believe you're winning.
Speaker 11 (22:25):
And yeah, everywhere I turn on the internet, there's some
short motherfucker being like God is great.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Another beautiful day, being five four.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I love.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I love my little step ladder that I got to
climb on to the cabinet. It's beautiful. I have been.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I love swinging my legs off a chain.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Oh I am so close to the ground. Look at
you idiots touching the earth when you sit down, suck
a post center of gravity when that. When I was
in college, there was remember when Facebook groups were a thing, Uh, scholar,
you probably don't remember this, but there there was an
error where Facebook groups were like very popular and used
(23:13):
to have to like ask for permission to join cool
groups so that you could be up on private conversations
whatever the fuck. And there was a group at college
called God is a fair Man that was dedicated to
black men who are under five eight because they they
(23:33):
it was like, oh, we're all gorgeous and fucking sexy,
but God is fair so he had to make us.
He had to make us short. It's like, so it's
just a bunch of short dudes hyping each other up.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I liked it when we were talking about five five guys.
Now you're kind of getting into my water. You know what,
fuck you guys. White people have been here the whole time.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
All right, we need to take a break. We're gonna
be back with more Skyler Higley and more.
Speaker 8 (24:05):
My mama told me, oh my gosh, the cat, get
the cat out of here.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh absolutely not cat, and white people you also got
to go because you are aliens. We are back with
Sky Hickley discussing the possibility of maybe Caucasians from.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Out of this play.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, uh, Skyler, I do think it's worth mentioning that
you grew up in a household with white parents. Was
this something you had thought about during that experience where
you like looking at them as an alien source or
was this more more amicable relationship at the time.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
I mean, we want to think about it now. Adopted, abducted,
it's right there.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
It's right there.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Yeah, like I could be I can't spell on the
other roughly, it's there. They're similar.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
I didn't even think about that till this moment, but
it's like right there, like maybe I am the one
who was a bit who got taken up into the
like there, you know, metaphorical ship. And now I'm coming
back talking crazy, but.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
It's part of it. So to answer your question directly,
you know, relatively relatively.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
Amicaville then I wasn't, you know, But I just think
in retrospect because I grew up in Salt Lake City,
Utah and all this stuff, when I think about what
the experience is, what was there in uh, you know,
if you're ever in like an all white place versus
going outside of that you would think that like based
on like what even the culture was relative to everywhere else,
(26:06):
I could be like, oh yeah, like I could see
how those people are actually aliens and like people who
are pretending to be people, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
And it does feel to that point like Salt Lake
City is them attempting to recreate a planet that doesn't
quite exist on this earth, you know what I mean,
where they're like, no, we're going to make a world
that's real specific to shit we like, and no one
else is going to ever want to be a part
of it.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
That was also it's bad, bad at it, right, You
pick the dumbest place to make a big, giant town,
big old great salt flats.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Idiots.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
None of those things are good about the world salt flat.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Yeah, yeah, it's not ideal, but but that is what
they chose.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
And they said that's fast.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
They showed up there and and the you know, the
prophet guy the Mormon Church was like, this is the place,
this is where God set aside for us middle of
the desert. God said this aside, this is what it's
gotta be. No, come on, no, in case God's kind
of a deadbeat day, very much.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
It was like, hey, y'all, I just checked my bank
account and it looks like we're staying here. I think
this is actually the best place turns out according to
the amount of money I have left.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Also, I'm realizing, like bring it up now, like Mormonism
involves like alien shit, Like that's like part of that's
like part of it where like you know, after you die,
if you were like a real good person and go
to like the top heaven, there's three heavens. You know,
they're ranked. Thank god you got junior varsity and the
(27:47):
varsity and all this shit, but.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
The bottom heaven, the worst one.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Is it tiered, Like yeah, it's tiered like that.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
It's like, oh, this one's kind of good, this one's
you know, but then if you go to the top
one and you keep advancing, you get to have your
own planet, get to be a god of your own
plan in it, because our.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
God is like somebody who's gone through that process. So
it's like the same way.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
It's like a germination of like disrepoling. The whole cosmology
is based on, like, yeah, this thing like going out
through the universe, which is also just you know, same
alien ship.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Yeah, that's that's fucking intense, because I think most Judo Christian,
Judeo Christian fucking Judos, you were right, don't doubt most
Karate Christians don't. They don't fuck around with space at
least in the pitch right, Like they're sort of like, nah,
(28:43):
God is above us. Space don't really matter. He just
is always above wherever. However you see that. But for
y'all to be like, nah, there are planets out there.
You get to keep one if you if you're good enough,
and they even say that's spooky ship.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
There was even a point where they like named, oh
I'm trying to remember the name of the planet, but
they're like they'll be like, God is out there in
space on a specific planet.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I think it's called colob is the planet. Like I
was gonna guess white Jupiter, White Jupiter, Caucasian Venus whatever. Yeah,
it's like.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Honkey Mars.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
One day, Honky Mars can be yours, eat your vegetables
if you want your taste of honkey Mars, don't curse,
or you can go to You can't go to Honkey Mars.
You're gonna go to You're gonna go to light skinned
Pluto and that.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Coon Venus.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Don't go to Asian Saturn. That's scary, hey man, that's
the we're saying. We're doing the character.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
We're in character. We're in character. I'm not saying. I'm
not saying I would love to go to Skylar. I
have a few pieces of research that I'd love to
run your way and get your thoughts on. Although this
this Mormon sort of like uh, I guess uh space
(30:26):
ship is something that I had not considered in some
of the reading that I did, but one of the
first things that that I sort of found, and this
is something I think we've talked about on the podcast.
But even the reference to Caucasians is a false reference
that like Caucasians do not in fact, that what we
(30:46):
call Caucasians white people do not in fact come from
the Caucus Mountains, that that the name originates from the
Caucaus Mountains, as if I'm understanding correctly, are prize of Georgia,
Armenia and Azerbaijan, and the Caspian Sea and the Black
(31:07):
Sea are also a part of this region, and the
white people did not actually originate there. In fact, they
supposedly the human race didn't actually move over there until
about fifty thousand years ago, right. But part of the
reason that we refer to white people as Caucasians is
(31:28):
because of this old ass German scientist Johann Friedrich Blumenbach, who, yeah, buddy,
wait till you hear what he's got to say about things,
who in seventeen ninety five decided the human species needed
to be separated into five races. Caucasian which was the
(31:49):
white race, Mongolian, the yellow race, Malayan which was the
brown race, Ethiopian the black race, and American the red race.
So the motherfucker was woke at least to know that native.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Sounds.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
So he was like, and did he have it? Is
it like I'm imagining whatever? Like chart he has is
like a pyramid and like your white race is on
the top.
Speaker 7 (32:17):
And he's like, he absolutely, white people are wearing sweets
and oils.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
He said he considered the Caucasus Mountains the origin of
Caucasian people because they were the He thought of them
as the first race on Earth, which he chose the
Caucasus Mountains because it was consistent with I guess old
science that suggested that was the place of human origin.
And the Bible describes Noah landing his arc at a
(32:47):
place called Mount Ariot. I don't know how to say this,
Arara rat there you go, which was thought by Europeans
the blooming blocks time to be on the modern Turkish
Armenian border. So he just basically was like, Yo, if
that's where we're saying the original people are from, then
that's where white people are from, and therefore we are
(33:08):
these people. And then public discourse made it so you
know what I mean, we be they became Caucasians because
they spread that round.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You see how they just be failing upwards exactly. That's
on government forms. Yeah, that's it's it's.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
The most technical way that we refer to them, and
it's not even truly.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
Incorrect, because the Johann Friedrich whatever his name is, is
a fucking alien op Like, I feel like he's one
of the ones that like knew and remember and he's like, yeah,
I gotta put this stuff for I gotta like separate
it all out, and then we're gonna we're gonna tell
him we're from the mountains because we're not supposed to
(33:48):
be here at all. And then if somebody's like, where
are you from, Like, is the fucking caucas mountains like done.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
Yeah, yeah, that's see, that's some bullshit. Here's something that's
even more fascinating recent studies. And we talked about this
actually on the Zach Fox episode where we talk about
(34:16):
the legend of Yakoob and Yakub, if you're unfamiliar, is
believed to be an ancient scientist who created white people
on a basically an island and forced them to germinate
until we got to the white race. He was an evil,
big headed black scientist that made white people. That said,
(34:39):
we talked about this previously, but Europe looked almost nothing
like the Eurocentric features we now associate with white people
Europeans today, and that whiteness, in fact, is only believed
to be about eight thousand years old. Wow, And so
(35:00):
they claimed to be like them.
Speaker 7 (35:03):
I actually am one point Fourian Africans.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Okay, you were in the middle of a thought, but
don't let that throw you off. No, but I was
still thinking like that.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
So they're only that's eight thousand years old, and yet
they claim like where where does the claim like the
same way that science just assumedly was like the Earth
is the center of the universe, like the Earth centric model,
and then it's like, oh okay, like heliocentric happened after that,
like what people did the same thing of Like the
(35:39):
dude from the Cocazoid Mountains was like, oh, we're first,
but like.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Like there was no what was the evidence for being first?
Was it just gut feelings like just just peer want
and will dog it seems like just being like nah,
this if this is I think it was bad science
previously right where they're like we the human species seems
to have originated in this area. And then he ran
(36:08):
with that shit and was like, well if humans are
are from here, then that's where we're from. End of conversation.
And frankly, human migration happened fifty thousand years forty two
thousand years before white people even existed into that area.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Yeah. See, so then what happened?
Speaker 3 (36:28):
That's the question, that's the big question.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
How did we get these modern day whites? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (36:34):
Like literally where what was the thing? Where did that
come from? Like there's not And also what did the
old school whites look like they were? Yeah, because I've
seen a few white guys who look like they're from
a different time mm hmm. Greg Olster tag.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Okay, I can see that. Yeah, yeah, George Mirason, that
motherfucker a from.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Come on, that's from Wow, that's as magic.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Yeah bigs NBA player looks. Come on, man, what's his name?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
He's a nugget?
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Now, David. David's from uh from Denver? So right, I
got it back off? Okay, carefully when you're not from
Sweet Boys.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
It's fine. But you know they are the NBA Championships,
you know, act accordingly. Yeah, Tommy wizzouh Yeah, that comes
from space for.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Sure, for sure.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
I think there's there are a few people where you
look at them and you go like, huh, that ain't
exactly what we calculated it to be. And if you
even think about, like the regional breakdowns of some some
things that we qualify as white but are in fact
something else, Like Russia and China border each other at
a certain part of you know, their their countries and
(38:02):
ship and if you look at the people who live
in those like regions near Russia and China, they don't
look like Chinese people or Russian people. Yeah, fucking me,
La kunis is Ukrainian. And that ain't that ain't it?
You know what I mean? Like that ain't what we
thought that was most like there's a there's a bunch
(38:30):
of weird sort of like I think if you if
you look at the way they look, they can stand
as evidence of what white people probably have bred out
of their own genetic history at a andy our most
optimistic and if we're moving in the place of your conspiracy, Skyler,
(38:51):
then maybe this is what was originally there and these
white people are just aliens sort of usurping that space, right.
And I'm not saying either, I just have questions. I
just I just question. I don't I think that I just.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Want to see the birth certificate.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Yeah, I just want to see why can't look why
can't we you know? Like yeah, And I feel like
if you even want to go on like some Bible ship,
like on some biblical you know whatever, like human histories
or whatever, like, I don't know. I believe that this
(39:26):
thought just came to mind. I believe that Eve was
a white woman.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
She fucks some things up. I would believe that I
think we I.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Don't think there was any arguing that. I think we
were all the same guys.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
I think this is moving against the argu No, no, no,
you're right, Look, you're right. Sometimes the thought just comes
to MINDY don't support the argument.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
But sometimes we're just saying we think we're well, yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:52):
Yeah, I think, But I think the point is if
we don't actually I think what the most interesting part
of it is, in the rhetorical argumentative sense, we don't
actually have a clear view of where they came from.
And yet there's been so much colonization out of that.
(40:14):
Why of that specific genetic coil, whether or not they're
from here or not, maybe not, probably not, but whether
or not they're from here, why out of that then
came so much you know, what is the the white impulse?
I'll say, for like global colonization and oppression of so
(40:37):
many different kinds of people, especially given that like we're
not completely like aware of where they're from in the
first place, suspicious right To add to that, I will
say that even like sort of the idyllic white person
that we now understand, right, the blonde hair blue eyes
(40:58):
that Hitler was so horny for.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
That shit based off of research suggests that that blue
eyes specifically are only about six thousand years old and
are labeled specifically as a genetic mutation. It is not
sort of the standard. It is a thing that mutated
out of the standard. Basically the eyes the pupil's inability
(41:23):
to create melanin caused someone's eyes to turn blue, and
that it's believed to be a European person, but we
don't know what kind of European it was, or specifically
if it was a European that we now understand, But
that then became a genetic mutation that carried forward and
now a bunch of people haven't h Yeah, bro, that
(41:45):
it's it's suspicious because you take that and go, oh,
the mutation and the newest stuff and the you know,
all of the most like uncommon traits, is then like
the ideal No, no, bro.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Yeah, that seems that sus in and of itself.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
That the EU, the most marketed beauty standard across the world,
is like the Eurocentric beauty standard, which is like the
most sort of niche and least able to be replicated
by most of the people in the world. Is like
that seems like some somewhere else over compensating type shit
(42:27):
that to oppress the people that belong on this planet
so that we can take it over and you know,
drain their blood for our spaceships or whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
They're trying to do.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Oh, and I do. I will say to that point
that that does feel like even if you remove the
alien from this conversation, right, which I am not. I'm
merely suggesting that you could remove it and still point
to the fact that there is something unhealthy inhuman frankly,
(42:58):
in the way that white people approached their own beauty standards,
their own sort of like selling of the white self,
right that, like, you have this niche thing, and instead
of recognizing that you are sort of a person needing
to be a part of a larger community, you go,
we will create a system where only our thing is
(43:19):
acceptable and everything else is sort of left at the wayside,
despite us being the fucking minority across the board.
Speaker 4 (43:28):
And to add to that what we have going on
with beauty standards now and more recently, and this has
been a thing to this point, but like the different
appropriations of both culture esthetic different kinds of bodies, like
just trying to get like fatter asses, which is like
(43:49):
kind of from like other different cultures or different like
facial features for like this amalgamation of like the Instagram
face too, which is like predicated also like mostly by
white people picking and choosing things from like other cultures,
like what is that aside from body snatching? Alien stuff?
Alien stuff?
Speaker 3 (44:08):
Fuck?
Speaker 4 (44:09):
Damn, fuck, I'm convincing myself right now. I honestly don't
believe it that much. But now, God damn, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Now now we're all now we all got up back. Wow.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
No, that that body snatch and that hit that really Uh.
I thought we were just doing a muse boosh, but
that was uh, that was a goddamn meal. You just
sat in front of us.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
I like it a lot.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
The last thing I'll say as far as the research
is concerned, is that one of the things that made
me think about is how much of our planet remains unexplored.
Right specifically if we think about the oceans and how
little we know of what came out of the oceans.
And very recently I came across the conspiracy theory. Uh,
(44:57):
and keep take this with a grain of salt, but
there's a person on TikTok arguing that potentially space that
we understand it, or sort of, the aliens that we're
worried about are in fact maybe coming out of the
oceans rather than coming out of the sky that like,
as we are sitting here worried about like these intergalactic
(45:18):
creatures whatever, there very well could be a bunch of
creatures crawling out from the bottom of the earth. And
there is an argument to be made that maybe what
we're talking about is not necessarily alien in the space
sense for white people, but maybe alien in the under
the earth and or water sense. And that's that's where
(45:43):
the debate can live.
Speaker 4 (45:44):
Oh so there came out of this sea like later
because we all involved.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
From like hence the milky white skin. You don't need
it done.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
Because you're not.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (45:56):
Come, I feel like they had those little it's like
a dude from Wisconsin.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
They had those little like light things that came off
their foreheads like those little fish to and then as
soon as that shit fell off and they evolved out.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Of that, get on land drop.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
Yeah, look, I'm just a reporter.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 12 (46:18):
No, you're taking sides, but but it doesn't feel crazy
that they that they may have crawled out from from
under the deep.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
Yeah, they like it colder. I'm pretty sure it's pretty
cold down there. They like pretty sure. They say it's
pretty chilly underwater.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Flavors they like bland flavors.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
It's bland down there. It's not spicy down there.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
And if if we really want to take this a
step further, it could also be the reason why they're
not that afraid of the sea levels rising as they
should be. Right the planet's coming back on the sea
levels are rising, They're like, that's cool.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
And that's some anti black too, because they're trying to
drown us because they think we can't swim.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Come on, yeah, don't stop.
Speaker 4 (47:10):
Yeah, it's just facts. I think I really think that
it's just I really think that it is just facts.
I'm not even I think that it could be from space,
from the sea. I'm honestly pretty convinced by the sea
one too. But that's what they're trying to do. Man,
Why why destroy the earth so much if you're really
from here?
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Damn.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
It's when you break it down that simply white people
who listen to the show, If you have a counter argument,
we welcome it. We really would love to hear whatever
whatever you have to say. But keep in mind, Skylet
puts some ship down that you're going to have a
lot of trouble refuting at this point.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Also know the tone that I'm going to read in
your emails going to be very condescending, regardless of how.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
I read it.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
Universally, my mine known as said that we.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
That sounds like an alien already, that sounds like an
alien's voice.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
It does sounds like the Martian from Looting.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
To Well, Skylar, I think we did it.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
I think this something got done.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
Something got done, and certainly you you did it. Could
you tell the people where they could find you and
what cool shit you have going on? I am on on.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
Twitter at Skyler Hickley on Instagram at Skyler Hickley. Again,
just type in my name s k y l e
r h I g l e Y. You'll find me
what I got going on. I'm doing shows about to
be in Austin on the twenty second of September. If
you would like to come out to Caps City Comedy
Club about to be an Austin, and you know that's it.
(49:00):
Look at my tiktoks and my instagrams and my twitters.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
Fuck yeah, Bory, you want to tell people where they
can find you? Ah?
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Yeah, you know, bring David to play dot com. I
am currently in the middle in the midst of my
aluminum foil tour. I'm going all over the place. I
think that we have the Denver shows coming up, and
then after that, after this comes out Minneapolis, Columbus, Cincinnati,
fucking Morgantown, West Virginia. I got some stuff, go to
(49:30):
bring David to play dot com, New York City. I
got some good stuff on there, Bring David to play
dot com. Come out buy some of the merch. People
have been buying it. They've been loving it, all that
good stuff at my mama told me pod subscribe on YouTube,
but maybe slow slow it down a little.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Boris a little worried that we're gonna hit our subscriber
numbers and suddenly have a bigger problem on our hands
than we planned for. But I'm not. I welcome you subscriptions.
We look forward to hearing more from you. As always.
You can follow me at Langston Herman. I would love
to hear from you there, and I have some dates
coming up. Oh, if you want to see me live
(50:13):
the October thirteenth and fourteenth, you can come to the
House of Comedy in New Westminster, British Columbia. I'm gonna
be up in Canada, esh shit and there, Yah, yeah,
exactly that's what I always say.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
Throw another strip on the bar.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
And then October twentieth and twenty first, I'll be at
Dead Crow Comedy in Wilmington, North Carolina. We're making up
that date, so if you live in Wilmington, I would
love for you to still come out if you didn't
get obviously we didn't see each other last time. And
then November tenth and eleventh, I'll be in Burlington, Vermont
(50:53):
at the Vermont Comedy Club. And then finally November seventeenth
and eighteenth, I'll be in Dallas a Hyenas Comedy Nightclub.
And any of those dates I don't know, follow my Instagram.
I'll be updating them and telling you all about them
shit's more frequently than I've been telling you all about
them shit.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
So check it out.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
And as always, if you want to tell us your
own conspiracies, if you want to send us drops, if
you want to explain where in fact white people actually
are from so that we can put an end to
calling you motherfucker's aliens, feel free to send it all
to Mymama pod at gmail dot com. We would love
to hear from you, and that is the whole shebang.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
Bye, bitch, So that's how they get you.
Speaker 5 (51:46):
My quot chips and yours. A Koala Bears are racist.
The host layer hosting money, turkey stuff.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
I can't help make that
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
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