November 13, 2025 • 45 mins
Are white people getting worse at making food on purpose? Langston and David cook this conspiracy theory in the studio. Does this come from white people's reaction to Black people getting more rights? Is this some sort of sick empowerment? How are bad meals going viral? They dissect regional food conversations and even rank which US region is the best. Also, is there a tendency for people to like everyone else's food, but not their own? We just want white people to know they have potential in the kitchen, but when they don't apply themselves, we're heading to Golden Corral.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Worries me about the end is that I'll do something
and commit to living like it's the end and that
it's not. And I just like killed my neighbor y two.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
K Now you gotta buck you got you got a
dead body and a bunch of corn in your basement.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And you're like, all right, God, darn, I guess I'll
go back to telling jokes about my girlfriend. There's a
dead body on the floor, Like, so can I still?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Oh, I'm gonna have to cancel at the House of Comedy.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
US A racist Any stuff I can't tell me.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Cause you gotta have diamonds and pearls, whether you're a
boy or a girl. Welcome to another phenomenal episode Little
Mama's and Gentiles Alike of My Mama told Me.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
The podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy theories and.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
We finally worked to prove that the prayer Dion Warwick said,
the Little Prayer for You was in fact about her niece,
Whitney Houston.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
She saw it coming the whole time.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Damn the fortune teller, Dion Warwick.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Come on.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Amongst many other things, she wears a lot of hats,
some of them real silly because she was a fortune
teller of sorts, and you're saying that she could see
the future and see that Whitney would eventually become a
woman struggling with COCAINEA.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
She knew it was gonna be tough on Nepp. Here's
my question.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Well, I'm like sain Kermin and I'm listening.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
He is like, how do you feel about fortune telling?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I believe, and I think i've I've said this maybe
on the podcast before. I believe that if you start
fucking with that shit, you're opening up a world of
problems that I don't want to ever explore.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, you keep knocking on the devil's door. Somebody gonna answer, Yeah,
that's fair. Yeah, I'm not I'm not brave enough. I
would say to be one of those people who's like,
got sain't real? The fortune telling? That ain't that shit
ain't true?
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Like I don't know if it's real or if it's
not real, but I know if I start fucking with it,
then I'm gonna start seeing some shit that I don't
want to see when I'm laying in bed at night.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah that's reasonable. Yeah, where you sometimes I think maybe
I need more devil. Hmmm, that you you want to
welcome the devil into your home? You know, I think
you gotta try stuff. Okay, you don't feel like you've tried.
I feel like, Okay, I don't mean this in a
(03:13):
shaming way, but more than most of my friends, I
would say, you're you're a person who's who's tried a
little bit of everything. I think that's a nice way
to say. Ye.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Yeah, I think you're a man who's dabbled in all
of good fortune and bad fortune.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Pots.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Yeah, and so you don't think that that was enough
to get the devil?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I never Maybe I just never have had a direct
what I felt like was a direct encounter. Right, you
had that, but you told us that ghost. Yeah, I
don't think that was the devil though. I think that
ghosts are different than the devil. Okay, you don't associate
ghosts with the devil, not particularly. They kind of feel
I feel like they're like ghosts are like like they've
(03:56):
gone rogue, oh Sam, like they're doing their own life.
Can't even funk with them. No, no, no, they have
a score to settle and it's on them. Yeah, he
don't even know where they're at. They're not checking in.
He's like they were supposed to be in held three
weeks ago. Meanwhile they're up here in some little kids room.
What's it?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
What's that Nicholas Cage movie where he I like, how
you do it with a soft sea? What Nicholas Cage?
Just like you said, Nicholas, Nicholas Cage. Who's that Nicholas Cage?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Fella?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Nicholas Cage doesn't didn't he he was that marvel man
whose head is on fire?
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Oh yeah, yeah? What is his name?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Heller?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
He's a he's a bicyclist, daddy bike daddy, daddy horns,
daddy fire bike horn, biker.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Yeah, I don't remember his name. Ghost Rider ghost it's
a ship film. Obviously it was very bad. Yeah, and
Nicholas Cage was very bad in it.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
But yeah, he did not do a good job.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
But by your suggestion, it sounds like ghosts for you,
or close ghost to Ghost Rider than they are too
servants of the devil.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah. Also, my thing about the devil is people talk
about the devil doing stuff to them. Nobody ever talks
about it being bad to be an actual servant of
the devil. So here's you know, what I'm saying, Like,
as a job, people are like, Oh, the devil did
this to me, he got me. But do you never
hear anybody like I work for the devil and it's
(05:27):
kind of great.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
He's a fun boss.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Four one K. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
You can stick something in people's butts.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
My kids got braces.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Here's my thing is that I've always felt and this
I think goes in line with both devil and ghosts
that in the case of possession, I don't want the law.
I don't want to be possessed because it's nine tenths
of the law. But should I be possessed, I'm not
fighting it. I am embracing it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
That's what you would have to do.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I don't want to be fucking bending backwards and throwing
up green do you know what I mean? Like, I
want to fucking just be cool inside my own body
with a little devil hanging out in there. And I
think that part of the reason their eyes get all
crazy and they're trying to fight it. They're trying to
fight it, and you just gotta let the devil do
what the devil does.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
That's crazy. I always thought the devil goes into you
and then you're like, it's like you're sleeping or something like.
I thought they were not conscious of that at all,
because as a kid, that was the thing I was
the most afraid of, was the idea of being possessed.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
But why are they acting all crazy if that's just.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Because the demon wants to scare the other people. It's
not to scare you, it's to show other people, like
look what I could do.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, But but I would say that there are other
ways you could scare a motherfucker as a demon, besides
making me shit out of my mouth, do you know
what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Like you could just show up.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
You just have a gun and be like I'm a
fucking shoot all of you.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I mean, Or you could just be a demon.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah, oh shit, you just do some shit, you know,
I don't know how to do.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah, you could just show yourself.
Speaker 6 (07:07):
You just watch me moon walking. You're like that Nigga's possessed.
I never did that before.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
He can't do it. He can't do that, man. Yeah,
I forgot where we were going.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Well, I don't know that we're going anywhere. We never
are going anywhere. We are here today in studio and
live you're fucking here. You you you came all the
way from Denver because we had a very special guest
and that was just we got Terry Crews on Terry
Crewis finally came and it didn't go well.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
No, no, no, I snuffed it. Bro, What if I
beat up Terry Crews, You'd never be able to talk
to me again?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Me.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
No, I like I would just my egos.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Oh you're saying you wouldn't allow people to talk to you.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
My ego would go crazy.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I'll be honest, I'd keep calling. No, Yeah, we could
still hang out. I know it's not even that I
it's obviously I wouldn't want to hang out. But I
just would want you to know how much I'm impressed
by Oh. Yeah, but I think if you beat up
Terry Crews, it would become inappropriate relationship between us because
I'd beat too. I'd be too big of fame.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
You would admire my work too much. Yeah, it's like
we can't be co hosts anymore. Impressed because I've elevated
because I put that dude down. Yeah, you fucking you
fucking sniped him? Yeah, would oh, I would have to.
I would sneak him that's the only way this because
let's be honest for real, that's a big motherfucker. He
(08:37):
would beat the ship out of me, and that would
be a tough out for me. He's like, if Terry Crews,
here's this and he beats my ass soon, it's gonna
be I'm gonna have to go underground for a minute. Yeah,
I mean I'll be the support of the little mamas
to lift me up.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
That was always my problem with the way that Chris
Rock handled getting slapped, was like a of course you're
gonna lose this fight to Will Smith. Yeah, there's never
been a doubt from anyone who's who's watched, looked at
the two of you standing next to each other. Who's
gonna win this fight? Make it funny, man, scream fall down,
(09:14):
say he's killing me. He's fucking killed, Like you have
to play this big and make it silly. And instead
he tried to be a man and he's not fighting.
Speaker 7 (09:22):
Scared your mom, Yes, it's like no, if you fucking yeah,
you gotta fucking yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
I would have been running around that room being like
Meryl Streep merlow straight, did jes see what he did?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That made like I would have fucking eroded the evening
because listen, different dudes are playing different games. If you're
trying to do the game, I could beat everybody up.
That's like, you run out of that real quick. Some
of us are just funny love you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Some of us just make you laugh and each out.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, and that's and that's thank God for us.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I would, i would say, more valuable than than those
who punch you in the head.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Come on, in the winter time, you want some guy
who's gonna push you in the head. Now you want
a guy who's gonna eat that push and he's gonna
talk like that after heat, I'm gonna say that.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
We we have a conspiracy today. This is a I
would say, one of my own cooking. This is a
homeown conspiracy theory. I have been thinking about this quite
a bit, and I ran it past you, and you
you seemed interested, You seemed open.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I just like to hang out. Yeah, I hope we
can get some sandwiches. I think we're gonna get some sandwiches.
But before we do, we landed on and you you
picked the verbiage. I think it's beautiful words that you chose.
But you said my mama told.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Me white people cooking has autro feed.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
And I think that I'm in wholeheartedly. Yeah, because they
are fucking ship up. Yeah, it's not Oh my god,
what are they? You guys are out here looking crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
There there are those videos that have become very popular
of black people, and you showed we talked about one
person in particular, but there are I think super shout
out super Ray, but I think there are a bunch
of examples of it of black people watching white people
cook weird meals where it's like a lot of like
ground beef, then with cheese, then with like pudding, and
(11:28):
it's like what.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
The fuck They make it into a jello mold and
you're like, this is fucked up, this is a sin.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
And then you watch a skinny white woman eat it
and you're like smiling.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Or just like she puts like chicken in the microwave,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Yeah, to cook it, not just to like reheat it
or put a finishing brown on it, like to fully
be like no, this is cooked now.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And it's like when did this happen? When did you stop?
When did you stop being able to feed yourself? Yeah,
it's a really crazy. It's fucking nut. It's odd because
it's like one thing. Every group has food, everybody likes
to cook. It's truly the root of.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
All culture is just being like, well, we are connected
because we have these foods and we eat them this way,
and white people are sort of like, nah, we don't,
no collective.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Do you think it's like there's also a disconnect to
like in America because I think white people abroad can cook. Yeah, okay,
I think this is an American thing. I would say
select abroad, but yeah, yeah, I mean nobody wants Scandinavian food.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
No, Our fucking British food is yea, so beans on
bread suck my dick, you, I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yeah, I will say though I had that English breakfast
is kind of good.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Man.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I'm sorry, man, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
In charge of the pad, but you gotta clear clear
the air a little bit.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
That's ugly. You're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give
me two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
And that was the right button to press. I think
you picked the right one. Yeah, no, I don't. I
don't eat that ship.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
But have you ever tried it?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I have? Yeah? I was like, no, I've I like
I like regular breakfast.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, I mean, listen, I just it was. It surprised
me as well. Okay, but that being said, yeah, I
do think for I think they can cook whatever. I
think there might be a disconnect from food and processing
and all that, Like they've just been maybe eating microwave
meals for so long. It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Come on, you want to tell them what we have?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is
really fun. We have a two tone an alien dad hat,
the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
the enameled pen with an alien who has a coofie
on it since my mama told me. And then we
have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Who you are. Yeah, you can buy the merch now,
go to my mama told me dot merchcentral dot com
where you can see all of our merch. You can
buy shit, and we want you to have all the
sweet stuff, So get it. Let's talk a little bit
about where this conspiracy came from from me that like,
(14:34):
originally what got me thinking about it is that I
have noticed that a fair amount of the things that
we associate with quality black foods are not necessarily black,
and that I think that there was probably a transition
in the period where black people started to get more rights,
right that the sit ins are over, We're allowed to
(14:56):
eat at every restaurant, And then suddenly white people are
noted saying that they're having to cook pretty good meals
for people that they fucking hate, And I think somewhere
in that they were like, I'm not seasoning shit for
these motherfuckers. I don't like, I'm not gonna keep putting
(15:16):
my best foot forward.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
My great grandmother didn't come to Poland yeah for me
to make some mutton for these darkis Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Not serving this black motherfucking my my favorite dish. Come on,
fuck you, I'm a boiled chicken and you'll eat it
that way or I won't serve it at all. And
I think that that has somehow sort of blossomed into
now a cultural sort of like identity where white people
(15:45):
are like, yeah, we don't we don't try that hard
with our food.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
But I mean, here's the thing is that I think
that the foods that they're met, I think they think
that stuff is good online at least you.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Know you yes, yes, I think they think it's But
I think that that's more the product of a generation
that doesn't know what like they don't know they was
kings once type shit, whoa Do you know what I'm saying?
That like white people, we talked about this biscuits and gravy.
(16:20):
While it is in my mind of food that I
associate with black people, it's not really black people. It's Southern,
you know what I mean. It's like southern in the
in the universal sense in royal Southern. And and it
became black people because we just have continued to fine
tune quality cooking, whereas they were like, I don't know, motherfucker,
(16:44):
we ain't trying no more.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Well, do you wonder also if it's this is hard
because I also wonder how much of it is like regionally,
like you know what I mean? Or I trust everyone
in no offense, I trust everyone in the South to
cook better than everyone in the Midwest. I think it's fair,
you know what I'm saying. Yeah, sure, I think if
(17:05):
we're talking regions that are bad at cooking. It goes
Midwest is the worst. You think Midwest is the worst
at cooking? Whoa, I'm sorry, Chicago. Is this certain?
Speaker 3 (17:15):
It's not making me feel better?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yes, I mean you guys also have Nebraska, and there's
a lot of the Midwest. There's a lot in the Midwest.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yeah, I'm listening.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I'm not refuting as much as I am reeling from
the the aches and pains you're throwing my way.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I'm sorry for sure, I see I think and this
is also from touring and the stantical. Hey, yeah, food,
Midwest is the worst. I think the West Coast is next.
I think then you got the Northeast, then you got
the South. So South is best, Northeast is second, West
(17:52):
Coast is third, and mid.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Where do you because Northeast is a surprise for me
given given what we're in terms of like culture, why
would Northeast fall so high or low depending on how
you want to scale it on.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
The just the diversity, Like, yeah, the Midwest is there's
not a huge diversity of food like New York City
or even Philly or you know what I mean, Like
these places there's like a lot of different.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
It's more homogeneous groups of people sort of like living
in small pockets.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Right right, right, right, right right right. So yeah, I
think it's just diversity wise, that's why. And I think
the West Coast is just like listen, they invented health
food and it was very good. Yeah, yeah, you know
what I mean, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
The West Coast I factor in less because I think
they pride themselves more we pride ourself. I don't know
what the fuck on yeh. I don't identify with this ship.
I just live here.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But that's true. I get that.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I think California, and certainly like the Coast in general,
seems to pride itself more on like we know what
is right for us. Yeah, more than when you're very
are certain that this is the best tasting thing. It's
more like, yeah, but if you eat that, you'll you'll
(19:15):
live another five years. And if you eat it the
other way, it's your choice.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
And I mean, don't get me wrong, there's huge inclusions.
California got the avocado popping. That was crazy.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
That was crazy, that was big, big on you.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
It wasn't avocado wasn't doing that kind of work. When
I was a kid, nobody even knew about it. I
was a little freak for loving guacamole. Freak, I tell you,
you made me have guacamole. Did have guacamole in Chicago
in ninety four.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
We had it, But it wasn't It wasn't popping like that.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Avocado had a renaissance.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Avocado really found itself, Brussels sprouts really found themselves. Oh yeah,
oh yeah, BROCCOLI's and sort of a why no. I
do think to some extent this does feel regional. But
I do also think that there is sort of a
universal white people can't cook that it does get applied,
(20:18):
whether true or not, whether true or not, gets applied
sort of across all regions. And I wonder how much
of that is rooted in them voluntarily choosing to stop
applying themselves at cooking as a result of us getting
equal rights, you.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Think like once everybody, I mean, it does be like
when there's so many options, why would you make your
British food? Well, it's like equal rights. Now black people
got restaurants and we're giving them to the Chinese.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
And that's that's actually an interesting interpretation of it too,
because in some ways they are no longer cooking. They
cultural food. Like if we if so many of the
people of this country, as they claim, are descendants of
the original people of this country, they're the fake original
people of this country.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I don't know what you're saying. I'm lost.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
I'm saying that if a bunch of people are like
descendants of the people who came here, as you know,
the colonists that they were, then you should be putting
beans on bread, and you should be fucking eating little
thick sausages. But you like, but you like little Caesars.
You want you want some taco bell Yeah, you like
(21:38):
everybody else's ship, but y'all ship yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah yeah, And maybe that's what happened. It was
like because it's like, I know a lot of white
women who claim to make great enchiladas.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Mmm, that's a big one.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
They love m and you don't believe them.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
No, I don't even like enchiladas.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Yeah, I'm not as big of a fan as I
always think I could.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
No, it's just wet and bad. Like I love wet food,
Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of wet food.
On a lot of things, I have a girlfriend. She's great.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I got a wife, she's fine, lovely.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah. I just I also think that because here's the
other here's the other thing about white people's cooking. They
do dare. It is daring. It's just not in a
good way. Like have you ever had that? Girls tell
me about this like sweet rice salad thing that they
(22:42):
do sweet rice salad. It's like sweet rice and then
like almonds and it's dumb.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Yeah, No, I've never had that. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm
gonna take a firm no on that one.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
It's like it's like big swings. It's just done well.
And I think sometimes there's like a lack of attention
to detail, Like a lot of times when I watch
like these like White Lady tiktoks or something, it's like
there's like a lack of the base knowledge of cooking
and that's why it's just bad. Where it's just like
heat the pana well, you know, like whatever.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Well, let me ask you this because this is actually
a pretty curious question for me. Where do you fall
when it comes to sort of like the Michelin Star,
the restaurants that are treated with like sort of like revered,
these places that are You're being told of the best
food in the world, and it's obviously a white person
(23:40):
number one rating them, but number two oftentimes making these dishes.
Do you do you hold them in high regard or
you like, no, I don't give a fuck about none
of that.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm open to it because I think I think that
some of them are very good. Right. I had some
food in a yurt the other day. Okay, we went
to a yurt and it was fire, and it was like,
it's like this restaurant that they said supposedly was like
up for a Michelin Star, but it's not quite in Denver,
so they didn't. It's like sort of an Aurora we
(24:10):
went to this year. It was really good food. Right.
But I also was in the Bahamas and I need
to I need to quit cutting and look at the camera.
That's a weird.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
No, that's okay. Yeah, I think so, but maybe not
as much as you.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
But yeah, it's like different. I'm like, not at home,
I have shoes on. This is a little different.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
It's okay to serve it to camera. We're here there here,
let's see come on.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
But then like a week later, I was in the
Bahamas and I had food from a smoke shack on
the side of a beach, and it was equally as
good to me. Yeah, So it's like I give space
for the higher row, the Michelin star stuff, but I don't.
That's not solely where I'm going to fight, because sometimes
it's like sometimes in food, like in fancy restaurants, I
(25:00):
feel like it's complicated more than it's good. It's like, oh,
they had to do thirty things to cook that, but
it didn't come together as good as like that case
ada I had across town.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
I also, and this is where I think I stand
firmas as it relates to food, is I don't care
how good the meal is if I don't feel satisfied afterwards.
That like part of what a good meal to me
is is you filled my tummy all the way to
the brim. But a lot of times you go to
(25:32):
these fancy restaurants and shit and like it. Yes, it
was a great tasting item that you offered me, but
I'm still hungry. So I don't like you no more.
That's fair, you know what I mean? Yeah, you're angry.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
You fucking you're giving me blue balls of the Tomptung.
No I don't like that angry angry hippos. Yeah, exactly, Yeah,
I get that.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I mean, and there is something to be said for
just a big like bull of Stewards. Come on, dog,
you go to some of these restaurants and look, I
get it. The Midwest don't do a lot great, but
we we serve you the portions you deserve.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
That's fair.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
You will get fool as you walking away.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
That's a good point.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Would you tell me growling at the local eatery in
the Midwest.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
And I do like Midwestern food. I love a beef
dip it, flip it. Come on, man, crack it up,
up it down.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
No, no, yeah, I just like I think it's unfair
when you know you you pay money and are expecting
a quality meal and you have what is a delightful
tasting experience, not a filling experience. And I would argue
that if you cannot fill me up, then you can't
(26:50):
cook that good.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
God damn.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, I'm taking big swings, babe.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Well, I think. But also there is a level of
what I okay, I will say this when I go
to one of those fancy restaurants with a richer person
who doesn't mind buying enough to get us full. Yeah,
it's a good time. I mean we're going to lunch
after this. Yeah. I believe it's on big money players and.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
That's what they said, but but we'll confirm when the
episode's over.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Let's just say I'm getting three apps. I'm gonna need
the octopus, Olivia, I don't know why Steep.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Yeah, I'm gonna try the pheasant.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah. What is this Arisata?
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Is that a girl? Resuta? That's cool?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah, as a result for girls.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
and it's fucking great. We love it so much.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Come on, you want to tell them what we have.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is
really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien
dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then
we have the enamel pin with an alien who has
a coofie on it. Since my mama told me. And
then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama,
which is who you are.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
Mama told me dot merchcentral dot com, where you can
see all of our merch. You can buy shit, and
we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so
get it. Yeah, I think you're probably right that it's
more about being able to order more of it, yea.
(28:52):
But I also think that, like, and I'm truly speaking
for myself, I'm not a great cook. I know that
about myself.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Really. Yeah, but do you okay, yeah, go ahead, because
if I put my mind to it, I can be
very good. That's my problem what you're saying, like I'm not.
I won't try right right, But if I try, I
whenever I actually put some elbow in, it's good.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
I won't. I'm not making ship by any means. But
I just don't have the energy that the internal yearning
to like work for an hour on a thing that
I then eat in ten minutes, right, I understand, Like
it's I can't process it.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Do you make a lot? Well, you have a family, though,
I got a nice lady who does it for me.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Do all like I do all the.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
My wife? Oh okay, Yeah, I don't have.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Like a.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Do you really think I'm I'm rolling in the dough
like that? I don't.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
I don't have a I know that in my head.
I've seen. I don't know why I think you're rich?
Are you not? I don't think so? You do it?
Speaker 3 (30:00):
I'm doing fine. Yeah, yeah, we have a two income house.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
All we do pretty well.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
But a lady who like truly cooks for you, a chef,
is that's a different that's a step above.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of money yeah cool,
not like a lot like a black people.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
A lot of money, cool, big man. But I say
all that to say I know that if I were
making a small portion of something, I could make it
very well.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Do you know what I mean that?
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Like, it's the increasing of the quantity that makes it
more complicated, which is why catering is so fucking tough.
It's why like when you go to fucking college campuses
and you're eating like those at the trays and trays
of food that they put out for the buffets, while
the eggs are ass and the grits are running and
all the ship corral. It's ass because it's not becau
(31:00):
as the dude in the back doesn't know how to
make good food. It's because he has to make the
most food. And that's really really hard.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Being said. I just went to a Golden Crow bout
a month ago it was hidden still hidding, Okay, yeah no,
So you know there's still an alcohol in there at
Golden Corral, which is crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
I didn't know they could do that.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
They're selling alcohol in the Golden Corral.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
I'll be honest. I'm I was a old country buffet
boy as growing up. That was our signature restaurant. I
think it's probably regional. It's a Midwest. It's it's called
different things. Some places it's called hometown buffet. Yeah, it's
called country buffet, old country. But I think it's all
the same. I think their cousins, the checkers rally.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Yeah, come and go. What's the other one? The rest
tom thumb, it's all the same.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Point being, I remember my relationship to all of that
food is so childlike that like I remember them like
hot ass cinema buns that used to have in there,
and I just love those, And that was enough reason
to like that place.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Yeah, I never knew if they served off alcohol. I
just person they couldn't because I was a kid.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I don't think they did, because it's like I was
thinking about it, it's a bad call.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
You don't give liquor to those kinds of people.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
There's not one place I would rather be drunk less
than a buffet.
Speaker 7 (32:24):
Bro, Like so sad, Bro, you just gave you just
gave him sick shrimp. Who can't wash that down with tequila?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Oh god? Oh tequila and the buffet? That's crazy. And
I just like I think that that could turn dark
so fast.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
This ham has been under this light for for hours.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah, cause, like you almost need to be sober at
a buffet to show some restraint.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
You gotta.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Now you're drunken, are come on? Come on, I'm dipping
my I'm dipping my shrimp. Been fucking soft served.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Come on, you're putting salad dressing on your Chinese? Yeah, Like,
hey man, you're being crazy.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
It's fucked. I'm I feel the same way. I feel.
I'm the opposite of integration when it comes to like
like cuisines. Yeah, you got it.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I feel like the buffet has to be where prohibition
sort of maintains.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, it's not good.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Yeah, you can't get drunk at Golden Corral. You should
not do that. If you are a person who still
frequents Golden Kerral, that's okay, no judgment. We are judgment
free podcasts. That's not true.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
But Sin's judging you pretty hard.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Judging you pretty hard. But that said more importantly, if
you are going to the Golden Corral, stay sober, baby.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, you don't want it. It's just not for you.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
That's that's not a low you need to sink too.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
You're better than that.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Yeah, so you.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
You think it sounds like that this conspiracy of white
people atrophying is less about a conscious choice on their
part and more just sort of what would you say?
Speaker 1 (34:14):
The cause is? I think the market got flooded with
superior product, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Yeah, that they were always making these weird freedo pies
and now we just know better.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Yeah, and now the internet you can learn how to
make anything. Like they're not, you know, they're just like, yeah,
let me. Everybody can make curry.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Now everybody can make curry.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
My mom was making curry back in ninety five.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
Whoa, that was back when curry was illegal.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Yeah, they stop you at the airport, Yeah curry, you're
getting pulled over, miss man.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
First person I ever saw with coconut milk.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
WHOA, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, I didn't know that coconuts
could be milked.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
No, no, no, you milk meat, Greg. I don't know where.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
It was due to a feces thrown all over the walls,
the floor.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
The ceiling, and.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
That's just a good Yeah, you had to clean clean
house a little bit anyway. Yeah, so it sounds like
you're you're of the belief that this is more about
like the a superior product. Yeah, yeah, I will say
that that when we were talking about this out there,
the idea was presented that some of this has to
(35:38):
do with white people's laziness. Said, yeah, and and let's
be cautious. Let's be careful. Let's make sure that our
white listeners don't feel offended by the things that we're saying.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
I don't know if we'll go that far.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
We want to hurt you, but we don't want to
hurt you with our setups. We want to hurt you
with our punch. We want to push you far enough
way that you'll still give your money to support us,
you know, like an abusive relationship. We love you and
we'll never do it again.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
It's sometimes.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Oh no, that's that. If you are being abused, called yea.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Unless you're a white person being abused by us, then
stay right here, give me money. But no.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
It was presented that that perhaps the cause of white
people atrophying as as chefs and cooks in general is
the result of them just being lazy, That they have
accepted a position of of sort of like being served
in society, and that they are unwilling to adjust that
(36:57):
thinking even as they continue to make bullshit.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Out in the world. I think that's a little too simple.
I think that that maybe that idea is kind of
based more in white supremacy than I wanted to be. Mmm,
you know what I mean, Like we're on top, so
we just didn't we just stopped trying. It's like, I
think it's one. I think there's more going on.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Than that, right that, Like it suggests a possibility that
like they are in fact kings and queen's yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
As opposed to maybe they're just people who are fucking
up right, you know what I'm saying. The lazy thing
kind of is like yep, we we got on top
and now we're lazy and we just say, you know
what I mean, as supposed to, so that there's not
a problem with them. They don't have to answer for that,
you know what I mean? That's fair.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
We have seen, certainly historically enough examples of both the
rich and the poor being bad at cooking, right, do
you know what I mean? In a different way, Yeah,
in very different ways.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
So it does.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
It does make sense that, you know what I mean,
And that's true of all races. I would say, yeah,
that like sometimes there is a dangerous propaganda of like,
black people can cook, white people can't, and that's not true.
I know a lot of black motherfuckers that can't cook.
For shit, Well you said it. I just think on
average people, I enjoy black people's food a lot more
(38:25):
than I enjoy white people's food. Yeah, you're struggling, you know.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
I'm just trying to think about because I have definitely
known to the white people who can really cook. Grow down.
But I think, yeah, we're talking about just like on
the whole of the numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I wonder. Yeah,
that is interesting because it is crazy to me when
you meet like a whole family who can't cook. You
ever go over to like those kids house when you
(38:53):
were a kid, You're like, this is what your Yeah,
you just you got to look like this, you just.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Yeah, I'll be honest. I mean it's I mean it genuinely.
My father. One of my favorite dishes that he used
to make when I was a kid was something called
tomato chicken, and.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
It was just it was just.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
It was just a fucking like a weird like uh
chicken breast in a skillet with like tomato, like out
of the can. And he was just like, mix it
up and lightly seems it and I'd be like, just
fucking yeah, this is the best. And in retrospect it
wasn't good.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
You just like chicken.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
I like chicken. I like tomatoes, and I was like,
these are two things I care for.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
That's a single meals.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
He was, well, we're having tomato chicken tonight. Tomato chicken.
Speaker 6 (39:56):
And it's almost like you were there. You truly ca
I should our voices perfectly.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Yeah, I figured, I bet you Dad, you real nice guy.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Yeah, he was making this ship tomato chicken, and I
loved it.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I don't think it was good. It's got this weird
little boy who loves poetry. He doesn't know what the
females like.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
I got to make a meal fast, Yeah, I gotta
be some vegetables in it, apparently tomatoes onion chicken. Yeah,
tomato chicken, tomato chicken, and I thought it was the
fucking best, and now in retrospective, wasn't the best?
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Still make tomato chicken? Then he does? We don't.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
We don't have meals at at his house anymore when
you go back, Yeah, no, we don't. I've never asked
him to cook for me ever again, and I don't
think he's never been, like, you know, I've been working
on the tomato chicken. I got a new rest. So yeah,
it's just I think we're all in agreement that like that,
that was the act of a of a man just
(40:53):
trying to keep it together for for a boy.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Hey, but you know what, tomato chi you wouldn't be
who you are now without that.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
I think the tomato chicken really helped shake me into
a stronger individual. And it's and I think maybe if
we're bringing this full circle, maybe that's what white people
would benefit from. It's a little bit of full acknowledgement that, like,
you have been eating tomato chicken this whole time, Right, you.
Speaker 5 (41:17):
Guys are that good.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
It's never been that good. Stop giving yourself stars for
fucking award winning meals just because I mean one dude,
but That's.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
What I would argue. I bet there's a lot less
in Africa, in South America.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
And that's what I'm saying. Who is Michelan and who's
given out this?
Speaker 1 (41:36):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (41:37):
A big old, a big old fluffy white man has
given out those those awards.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Who decides the.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Fact that he's made out of tire.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Top of him coming in this French restaurant.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Yeah, and he's like, he's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
You know what, you get a star. I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
I don't know. I've never studied them at all. But
the point is I think we would benefit. French food
is for poor people, but now they act like it's fancy. Yeah,
it's all just like butter and yeah, it's just they
put a butcher of butter and then they pour the
butter on top of the thing they're cooking until it's.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
I mean, that's how it's.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
French food is fucking great.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
We should make them get steaks after this.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Come on, man, we having steaks y'all? Hey, Will Ferrell,
will dirty Dog Pharaoh Willie. Now, I just say white
people would benefit from being more honest about their relationship
with their own food, and then subsequently maybe we can
become They can learn to become better cooks. They can
(42:52):
learn to actually embrace the cultures around them by first
acknowledging like, hey, we've been putting up ship numbers.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, your mom's castle is kind of bad.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
It's not freedom pie ain't a thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
it's your lips, you know.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Well, it was very recently that it happen, because I
ain't the fucking ba.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
I was just.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
I don't want you to look like a fool.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I appreciate it. It's just I had some nuts and
then I was like, I need more food than and
then you had made that nut joke, which made me
kind of like hesitant to eat more nuts.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
And well, I only made the joke because you screamed
out loud scream I love nuts.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
I do love nuts, and you shouldn't feel bad about that.
It's very healthy.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Now we listen. I am a product of my own community.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
He's a tomato chicken man.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
I'm a tomato chicken man, through and through. I don't
know how long we've been doing this.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
It feels like hours. I feel like we did it.
I think it was good.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
I think we nailed this perfectly. Yeah, no notes whatsoever.
Ten out of ten you want to tell the people
where they can find you and what cool shit you
have going on?
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Cool guy jokes Citty seven on Instagram, that's where everything's
gonna be at. Oh, when this comes out, you should
watch Royal Crackers on Adult Swim and then HBO Max
the next day. Hell yeah, yeah, that's Max Max. Oh,
it's just Max.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
It's just Max now Mad Max, Mad Max TV.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
What about you?
Speaker 3 (44:31):
You can find me at Langston Kerrman on all social
media platforms. And if this comes out before February nineteenth,
I would love for you to be at my special
taping in Chicago at the Green Mill. The tickets are
available online. And yeah, I'm gonna be telling jokes for
an hour and it's gonna be really fun and I
hope you guys pack it out and make it a
(44:52):
great time. And as always, if you want to send
us your own drops, your own conspiracies, If you want
to send us a recipe of your mother's famous bullshit
white food that you think in fact is worth celebrating,
send it all to my mamapod at gmail dot com.
We would love to hear from you. That's the whole shebang.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
Bye bitch.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
I'd rather check myself before I wrecked myself.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
My crow Chips and your.
Speaker 4 (45:27):
Kuala bears are racists, money turkey stuff I can't tell
me
Worries me about the end is that I'll do something
and commit to living like it's the end and that
it's not. And I just like killed my neighbor y two.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
K Now you gotta buck you got you got a
dead body and a bunch of corn in your basement.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And you're like, all right, God, darn, I guess I'll
go back to telling jokes about my girlfriend. There's a
dead body on the floor, Like, so can I still?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Oh, I'm gonna have to cancel at the House of Comedy.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
US A racist Any stuff I can't tell me.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Cause you gotta have diamonds and pearls, whether you're a
boy or a girl. Welcome to another phenomenal episode Little
Mama's and Gentiles Alike of My Mama told Me.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
The podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy theories and.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
We finally worked to prove that the prayer Dion Warwick said,
the Little Prayer for You was in fact about her niece,
Whitney Houston.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
She saw it coming the whole time.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Damn the fortune teller, Dion Warwick.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Come on.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Amongst many other things, she wears a lot of hats,
some of them real silly because she was a fortune
teller of sorts, and you're saying that she could see
the future and see that Whitney would eventually become a
woman struggling with COCAINEA.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
She knew it was gonna be tough on Nepp. Here's
my question.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Well, I'm like sain Kermin and I'm listening.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
He is like, how do you feel about fortune telling?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I believe, and I think i've I've said this maybe
on the podcast before. I believe that if you start
fucking with that shit, you're opening up a world of
problems that I don't want to ever explore.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, you keep knocking on the devil's door. Somebody gonna answer, Yeah,
that's fair. Yeah, I'm not I'm not brave enough. I
would say to be one of those people who's like,
got sain't real? The fortune telling? That ain't that shit
ain't true?
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Like I don't know if it's real or if it's
not real, but I know if I start fucking with it,
then I'm gonna start seeing some shit that I don't
want to see when I'm laying in bed at night.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah that's reasonable. Yeah, where you sometimes I think maybe
I need more devil. Hmmm, that you you want to
welcome the devil into your home? You know, I think
you gotta try stuff. Okay, you don't feel like you've tried.
I feel like, Okay, I don't mean this in a
(03:13):
shaming way, but more than most of my friends, I
would say, you're you're a person who's who's tried a
little bit of everything. I think that's a nice way
to say. Ye.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Yeah, I think you're a man who's dabbled in all
of good fortune and bad fortune.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Pots.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Yeah, and so you don't think that that was enough
to get the devil?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I never Maybe I just never have had a direct
what I felt like was a direct encounter. Right, you
had that, but you told us that ghost. Yeah, I
don't think that was the devil though. I think that
ghosts are different than the devil. Okay, you don't associate
ghosts with the devil, not particularly. They kind of feel
I feel like they're like ghosts are like like they've
(03:56):
gone rogue, oh Sam, like they're doing their own life.
Can't even funk with them. No, no, no, they have
a score to settle and it's on them. Yeah, he
don't even know where they're at. They're not checking in.
He's like they were supposed to be in held three
weeks ago. Meanwhile they're up here in some little kids room.
What's it?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
What's that Nicholas Cage movie where he I like, how
you do it with a soft sea? What Nicholas Cage?
Just like you said, Nicholas, Nicholas Cage. Who's that Nicholas Cage?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Fella?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Nicholas Cage doesn't didn't he he was that marvel man
whose head is on fire?
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Oh yeah, yeah? What is his name?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Heller?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
He's a he's a bicyclist, daddy bike daddy, daddy horns,
daddy fire bike horn, biker.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Yeah, I don't remember his name. Ghost Rider ghost it's
a ship film. Obviously it was very bad. Yeah, and
Nicholas Cage was very bad in it.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
But yeah, he did not do a good job.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
But by your suggestion, it sounds like ghosts for you,
or close ghost to Ghost Rider than they are too
servants of the devil.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah. Also, my thing about the devil is people talk
about the devil doing stuff to them. Nobody ever talks
about it being bad to be an actual servant of
the devil. So here's you know, what I'm saying, Like,
as a job, people are like, Oh, the devil did
this to me, he got me. But do you never
hear anybody like I work for the devil and it's
(05:27):
kind of great.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
He's a fun boss.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Four one K. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
You can stick something in people's butts.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
My kids got braces.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Here's my thing is that I've always felt and this
I think goes in line with both devil and ghosts
that in the case of possession, I don't want the law.
I don't want to be possessed because it's nine tenths
of the law. But should I be possessed, I'm not
fighting it. I am embracing it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
That's what you would have to do.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I don't want to be fucking bending backwards and throwing
up green do you know what I mean? Like, I
want to fucking just be cool inside my own body
with a little devil hanging out in there. And I
think that part of the reason their eyes get all
crazy and they're trying to fight it. They're trying to
fight it, and you just gotta let the devil do
what the devil does.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
That's crazy. I always thought the devil goes into you
and then you're like, it's like you're sleeping or something like.
I thought they were not conscious of that at all,
because as a kid, that was the thing I was
the most afraid of, was the idea of being possessed.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
But why are they acting all crazy if that's just.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Because the demon wants to scare the other people. It's
not to scare you, it's to show other people, like
look what I could do.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, But but I would say that there are other
ways you could scare a motherfucker as a demon, besides
making me shit out of my mouth, do you know
what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Like you could just show up.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
You just have a gun and be like I'm a
fucking shoot all of you.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I mean, Or you could just be a demon.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah, oh shit, you just do some shit, you know,
I don't know how to do.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah, you could just show yourself.
Speaker 6 (07:07):
You just watch me moon walking. You're like that Nigga's possessed.
I never did that before.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
He can't do it. He can't do that, man. Yeah,
I forgot where we were going.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Well, I don't know that we're going anywhere. We never
are going anywhere. We are here today in studio and
live you're fucking here. You you you came all the
way from Denver because we had a very special guest
and that was just we got Terry Crews on Terry
Crewis finally came and it didn't go well.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
No, no, no, I snuffed it. Bro, What if I
beat up Terry Crews, You'd never be able to talk
to me again?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Me.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
No, I like I would just my egos.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Oh you're saying you wouldn't allow people to talk to you.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
My ego would go crazy.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I'll be honest, I'd keep calling. No, Yeah, we could
still hang out. I know it's not even that I
it's obviously I wouldn't want to hang out. But I
just would want you to know how much I'm impressed
by Oh. Yeah, but I think if you beat up
Terry Crews, it would become inappropriate relationship between us because
I'd beat too. I'd be too big of fame.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
You would admire my work too much. Yeah, it's like
we can't be co hosts anymore. Impressed because I've elevated
because I put that dude down. Yeah, you fucking you
fucking sniped him? Yeah, would oh, I would have to.
I would sneak him that's the only way this because
let's be honest for real, that's a big motherfucker. He
(08:37):
would beat the ship out of me, and that would
be a tough out for me. He's like, if Terry Crews,
here's this and he beats my ass soon, it's gonna
be I'm gonna have to go underground for a minute. Yeah,
I mean I'll be the support of the little mamas
to lift me up.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
That was always my problem with the way that Chris
Rock handled getting slapped, was like a of course you're
gonna lose this fight to Will Smith. Yeah, there's never
been a doubt from anyone who's who's watched, looked at
the two of you standing next to each other. Who's
gonna win this fight? Make it funny, man, scream fall down,
(09:14):
say he's killing me. He's fucking killed, Like you have
to play this big and make it silly. And instead
he tried to be a man and he's not fighting.
Speaker 7 (09:22):
Scared your mom, Yes, it's like no, if you fucking yeah,
you gotta fucking yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
I would have been running around that room being like
Meryl Streep merlow straight, did jes see what he did?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That made like I would have fucking eroded the evening
because listen, different dudes are playing different games. If you're
trying to do the game, I could beat everybody up.
That's like, you run out of that real quick. Some
of us are just funny love you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Some of us just make you laugh and each out.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, and that's and that's thank God for us.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I would, i would say, more valuable than than those
who punch you in the head.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Come on, in the winter time, you want some guy
who's gonna push you in the head. Now you want
a guy who's gonna eat that push and he's gonna
talk like that after heat, I'm gonna say that.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
We we have a conspiracy today. This is a I
would say, one of my own cooking. This is a
homeown conspiracy theory. I have been thinking about this quite
a bit, and I ran it past you, and you
you seemed interested, You seemed open.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I just like to hang out. Yeah, I hope we
can get some sandwiches. I think we're gonna get some sandwiches.
But before we do, we landed on and you you
picked the verbiage. I think it's beautiful words that you chose.
But you said my mama told.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Me white people cooking has autro feed.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
And I think that I'm in wholeheartedly. Yeah, because they
are fucking ship up. Yeah, it's not Oh my god,
what are they? You guys are out here looking crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
There there are those videos that have become very popular
of black people, and you showed we talked about one
person in particular, but there are I think super shout
out super Ray, but I think there are a bunch
of examples of it of black people watching white people
cook weird meals where it's like a lot of like
ground beef, then with cheese, then with like pudding, and
(11:28):
it's like what.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
The fuck They make it into a jello mold and
you're like, this is fucked up, this is a sin.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
And then you watch a skinny white woman eat it
and you're like smiling.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Or just like she puts like chicken in the microwave,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Yeah, to cook it, not just to like reheat it
or put a finishing brown on it, like to fully
be like no, this is cooked now.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And it's like when did this happen? When did you stop?
When did you stop being able to feed yourself? Yeah,
it's a really crazy. It's fucking nut. It's odd because
it's like one thing. Every group has food, everybody likes
to cook. It's truly the root of.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
All culture is just being like, well, we are connected
because we have these foods and we eat them this way,
and white people are sort of like, nah, we don't,
no collective.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Do you think it's like there's also a disconnect to
like in America because I think white people abroad can cook. Yeah, okay,
I think this is an American thing. I would say
select abroad, but yeah, yeah, I mean nobody wants Scandinavian food.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
No, Our fucking British food is yea, so beans on
bread suck my dick, you, I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yeah, I will say though I had that English breakfast
is kind of good.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Man.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I'm sorry, man, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
In charge of the pad, but you gotta clear clear
the air a little bit.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
That's ugly. You're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give
me two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
And that was the right button to press. I think
you picked the right one. Yeah, no, I don't. I
don't eat that ship.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
But have you ever tried it?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I have? Yeah? I was like, no, I've I like
I like regular breakfast.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, I mean, listen, I just it was. It surprised
me as well. Okay, but that being said, yeah, I
do think for I think they can cook whatever. I
think there might be a disconnect from food and processing
and all that, Like they've just been maybe eating microwave
meals for so long. It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Come on, you want to tell them what we have?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is
really fun. We have a two tone an alien dad hat,
the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
the enameled pen with an alien who has a coofie
on it since my mama told me. And then we
have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Who you are. Yeah, you can buy the merch now,
go to my mama told me dot merchcentral dot com
where you can see all of our merch. You can
buy shit, and we want you to have all the
sweet stuff, So get it. Let's talk a little bit
about where this conspiracy came from from me that like,
(14:34):
originally what got me thinking about it is that I
have noticed that a fair amount of the things that
we associate with quality black foods are not necessarily black,
and that I think that there was probably a transition
in the period where black people started to get more rights,
right that the sit ins are over, We're allowed to
(14:56):
eat at every restaurant, And then suddenly white people are
noted saying that they're having to cook pretty good meals
for people that they fucking hate, And I think somewhere
in that they were like, I'm not seasoning shit for
these motherfuckers. I don't like, I'm not gonna keep putting
(15:16):
my best foot forward.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
My great grandmother didn't come to Poland yeah for me
to make some mutton for these darkis Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Not serving this black motherfucking my my favorite dish. Come on,
fuck you, I'm a boiled chicken and you'll eat it
that way or I won't serve it at all. And
I think that that has somehow sort of blossomed into
now a cultural sort of like identity where white people
(15:45):
are like, yeah, we don't we don't try that hard
with our food.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
But I mean, here's the thing is that I think
that the foods that they're met, I think they think
that stuff is good online at least you.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Know you yes, yes, I think they think it's But
I think that that's more the product of a generation
that doesn't know what like they don't know they was
kings once type shit, whoa Do you know what I'm saying?
That like white people, we talked about this biscuits and gravy.
(16:20):
While it is in my mind of food that I
associate with black people, it's not really black people. It's Southern,
you know what I mean. It's like southern in the
in the universal sense in royal Southern. And and it
became black people because we just have continued to fine
tune quality cooking, whereas they were like, I don't know, motherfucker,
(16:44):
we ain't trying no more.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Well, do you wonder also if it's this is hard
because I also wonder how much of it is like regionally,
like you know what I mean? Or I trust everyone
in no offense, I trust everyone in the South to
cook better than everyone in the Midwest. I think it's fair,
you know what I'm saying. Yeah, sure, I think if
(17:05):
we're talking regions that are bad at cooking. It goes
Midwest is the worst. You think Midwest is the worst
at cooking? Whoa, I'm sorry, Chicago. Is this certain?
Speaker 3 (17:15):
It's not making me feel better?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yes, I mean you guys also have Nebraska, and there's
a lot of the Midwest. There's a lot in the Midwest.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yeah, I'm listening.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I'm not refuting as much as I am reeling from
the the aches and pains you're throwing my way.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I'm sorry for sure, I see I think and this
is also from touring and the stantical. Hey, yeah, food,
Midwest is the worst. I think the West Coast is next.
I think then you got the Northeast, then you got
the South. So South is best, Northeast is second, West
(17:52):
Coast is third, and mid.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Where do you because Northeast is a surprise for me
given given what we're in terms of like culture, why
would Northeast fall so high or low depending on how
you want to scale it on.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
The just the diversity, Like, yeah, the Midwest is there's
not a huge diversity of food like New York City
or even Philly or you know what I mean, Like
these places there's like a lot of different.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
It's more homogeneous groups of people sort of like living
in small pockets.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Right right, right, right, right right right. So yeah, I
think it's just diversity wise, that's why. And I think
the West Coast is just like listen, they invented health
food and it was very good. Yeah, yeah, you know
what I mean, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
The West Coast I factor in less because I think
they pride themselves more we pride ourself. I don't know
what the fuck on yeh. I don't identify with this ship.
I just live here.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But that's true. I get that.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I think California, and certainly like the Coast in general,
seems to pride itself more on like we know what
is right for us. Yeah, more than when you're very
are certain that this is the best tasting thing. It's
more like, yeah, but if you eat that, you'll you'll
(19:15):
live another five years. And if you eat it the
other way, it's your choice.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
And I mean, don't get me wrong, there's huge inclusions.
California got the avocado popping. That was crazy.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
That was crazy, that was big, big on you.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
It wasn't avocado wasn't doing that kind of work. When
I was a kid, nobody even knew about it. I
was a little freak for loving guacamole. Freak, I tell you,
you made me have guacamole. Did have guacamole in Chicago
in ninety four.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
We had it, But it wasn't It wasn't popping like that.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Avocado had a renaissance.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Avocado really found itself, Brussels sprouts really found themselves. Oh yeah,
oh yeah, BROCCOLI's and sort of a why no. I
do think to some extent this does feel regional. But
I do also think that there is sort of a
universal white people can't cook that it does get applied,
(20:18):
whether true or not, whether true or not, gets applied
sort of across all regions. And I wonder how much
of that is rooted in them voluntarily choosing to stop
applying themselves at cooking as a result of us getting
equal rights, you.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Think like once everybody, I mean, it does be like
when there's so many options, why would you make your
British food? Well, it's like equal rights. Now black people
got restaurants and we're giving them to the Chinese.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
And that's that's actually an interesting interpretation of it too,
because in some ways they are no longer cooking. They
cultural food. Like if we if so many of the
people of this country, as they claim, are descendants of
the original people of this country, they're the fake original
people of this country.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I don't know what you're saying. I'm lost.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
I'm saying that if a bunch of people are like
descendants of the people who came here, as you know,
the colonists that they were, then you should be putting
beans on bread, and you should be fucking eating little
thick sausages. But you like, but you like little Caesars.
You want you want some taco bell Yeah, you like
(21:38):
everybody else's ship, but y'all ship yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah yeah, And maybe that's what happened. It was
like because it's like, I know a lot of white
women who claim to make great enchiladas.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Mmm, that's a big one.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
They love m and you don't believe them.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
No, I don't even like enchiladas.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Yeah, I'm not as big of a fan as I
always think I could.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
No, it's just wet and bad. Like I love wet food,
Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of wet food.
On a lot of things, I have a girlfriend. She's great.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I got a wife, she's fine, lovely.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah. I just I also think that because here's the
other here's the other thing about white people's cooking. They
do dare. It is daring. It's just not in a
good way. Like have you ever had that? Girls tell
me about this like sweet rice salad thing that they
(22:42):
do sweet rice salad. It's like sweet rice and then
like almonds and it's dumb.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Yeah, No, I've never had that. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm
gonna take a firm no on that one.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
It's like it's like big swings. It's just done well.
And I think sometimes there's like a lack of attention
to detail, Like a lot of times when I watch
like these like White Lady tiktoks or something, it's like
there's like a lack of the base knowledge of cooking
and that's why it's just bad. Where it's just like
heat the pana well, you know, like whatever.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Well, let me ask you this because this is actually
a pretty curious question for me. Where do you fall
when it comes to sort of like the Michelin Star,
the restaurants that are treated with like sort of like revered,
these places that are You're being told of the best
food in the world, and it's obviously a white person
(23:40):
number one rating them, but number two oftentimes making these dishes.
Do you do you hold them in high regard or
you like, no, I don't give a fuck about none
of that.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm open to it because I think I think that
some of them are very good. Right. I had some
food in a yurt the other day. Okay, we went
to a yurt and it was fire, and it was like,
it's like this restaurant that they said supposedly was like
up for a Michelin Star, but it's not quite in Denver,
so they didn't. It's like sort of an Aurora we
(24:10):
went to this year. It was really good food. Right.
But I also was in the Bahamas and I need
to I need to quit cutting and look at the camera.
That's a weird.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
No, that's okay. Yeah, I think so, but maybe not
as much as you.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
But yeah, it's like different. I'm like, not at home,
I have shoes on. This is a little different.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
It's okay to serve it to camera. We're here there here,
let's see come on.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
But then like a week later, I was in the
Bahamas and I had food from a smoke shack on
the side of a beach, and it was equally as
good to me. Yeah, So it's like I give space
for the higher row, the Michelin star stuff, but I don't.
That's not solely where I'm going to fight, because sometimes
it's like sometimes in food, like in fancy restaurants, I
(25:00):
feel like it's complicated more than it's good. It's like, oh,
they had to do thirty things to cook that, but
it didn't come together as good as like that case
ada I had across town.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
I also, and this is where I think I stand
firmas as it relates to food, is I don't care
how good the meal is if I don't feel satisfied afterwards.
That like part of what a good meal to me
is is you filled my tummy all the way to
the brim. But a lot of times you go to
(25:32):
these fancy restaurants and shit and like it. Yes, it
was a great tasting item that you offered me, but
I'm still hungry. So I don't like you no more.
That's fair, you know what I mean? Yeah, you're angry.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
You fucking you're giving me blue balls of the Tomptung.
No I don't like that angry angry hippos. Yeah, exactly, Yeah,
I get that.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I mean, and there is something to be said for
just a big like bull of Stewards. Come on, dog,
you go to some of these restaurants and look, I
get it. The Midwest don't do a lot great, but
we we serve you the portions you deserve.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
That's fair.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
You will get fool as you walking away.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
That's a good point.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Would you tell me growling at the local eatery in
the Midwest.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
And I do like Midwestern food. I love a beef
dip it, flip it. Come on, man, crack it up,
up it down.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
No, no, yeah, I just like I think it's unfair
when you know you you pay money and are expecting
a quality meal and you have what is a delightful
tasting experience, not a filling experience. And I would argue
that if you cannot fill me up, then you can't
(26:50):
cook that good.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
God damn.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, I'm taking big swings, babe.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Well, I think. But also there is a level of
what I okay, I will say this when I go
to one of those fancy restaurants with a richer person
who doesn't mind buying enough to get us full. Yeah,
it's a good time. I mean we're going to lunch
after this. Yeah. I believe it's on big money players and.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
That's what they said, but but we'll confirm when the
episode's over.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Let's just say I'm getting three apps. I'm gonna need
the octopus, Olivia, I don't know why Steep.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Yeah, I'm gonna try the pheasant.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah. What is this Arisata?
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Is that a girl? Resuta? That's cool?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah, as a result for girls.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
and it's fucking great. We love it so much.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Come on, you want to tell them what we have.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is
really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien
dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then
we have the enamel pin with an alien who has
a coofie on it. Since my mama told me. And
then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama,
which is who you are.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
Mama told me dot merchcentral dot com, where you can
see all of our merch. You can buy shit, and
we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so
get it. Yeah, I think you're probably right that it's
more about being able to order more of it, yea.
(28:52):
But I also think that, like, and I'm truly speaking
for myself, I'm not a great cook. I know that
about myself.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Really. Yeah, but do you okay, yeah, go ahead, because
if I put my mind to it, I can be
very good. That's my problem what you're saying, like I'm not.
I won't try right right, But if I try, I
whenever I actually put some elbow in, it's good.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
I won't. I'm not making ship by any means. But
I just don't have the energy that the internal yearning
to like work for an hour on a thing that
I then eat in ten minutes, right, I understand, Like
it's I can't process it.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Do you make a lot? Well, you have a family, though,
I got a nice lady who does it for me.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Do all like I do all the.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
My wife? Oh okay, Yeah, I don't have.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Like a.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Do you really think I'm I'm rolling in the dough
like that? I don't.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
I don't have a I know that in my head.
I've seen. I don't know why I think you're rich?
Are you not? I don't think so? You do it?
Speaker 3 (30:00):
I'm doing fine. Yeah, yeah, we have a two income house.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
All we do pretty well.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
But a lady who like truly cooks for you, a chef,
is that's a different that's a step above.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of money yeah cool,
not like a lot like a black people.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
A lot of money, cool, big man. But I say
all that to say I know that if I were
making a small portion of something, I could make it
very well.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Do you know what I mean that?
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Like, it's the increasing of the quantity that makes it
more complicated, which is why catering is so fucking tough.
It's why like when you go to fucking college campuses
and you're eating like those at the trays and trays
of food that they put out for the buffets, while
the eggs are ass and the grits are running and
all the ship corral. It's ass because it's not becau
(31:00):
as the dude in the back doesn't know how to
make good food. It's because he has to make the
most food. And that's really really hard.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Being said. I just went to a Golden Crow bout
a month ago it was hidden still hidding, Okay, yeah no,
So you know there's still an alcohol in there at
Golden Corral, which is crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
I didn't know they could do that.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
They're selling alcohol in the Golden Corral.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
I'll be honest. I'm I was a old country buffet
boy as growing up. That was our signature restaurant. I
think it's probably regional. It's a Midwest. It's it's called
different things. Some places it's called hometown buffet. Yeah, it's
called country buffet, old country. But I think it's all
the same. I think their cousins, the checkers rally.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Yeah, come and go. What's the other one? The rest
tom thumb, it's all the same.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Point being, I remember my relationship to all of that
food is so childlike that like I remember them like
hot ass cinema buns that used to have in there,
and I just love those, And that was enough reason
to like that place.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Yeah, I never knew if they served off alcohol. I
just person they couldn't because I was a kid.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I don't think they did, because it's like I was
thinking about it, it's a bad call.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
You don't give liquor to those kinds of people.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
There's not one place I would rather be drunk less
than a buffet.
Speaker 7 (32:24):
Bro, Like so sad, Bro, you just gave you just
gave him sick shrimp. Who can't wash that down with tequila?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Oh god? Oh tequila and the buffet? That's crazy. And
I just like I think that that could turn dark
so fast.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
This ham has been under this light for for hours.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah, cause, like you almost need to be sober at
a buffet to show some restraint.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
You gotta.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Now you're drunken, are come on? Come on, I'm dipping
my I'm dipping my shrimp. Been fucking soft served.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Come on, you're putting salad dressing on your Chinese? Yeah, Like,
hey man, you're being crazy.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
It's fucked. I'm I feel the same way. I feel.
I'm the opposite of integration when it comes to like
like cuisines. Yeah, you got it.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I feel like the buffet has to be where prohibition
sort of maintains.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, it's not good.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Yeah, you can't get drunk at Golden Corral. You should
not do that. If you are a person who still
frequents Golden Kerral, that's okay, no judgment. We are judgment
free podcasts. That's not true.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
But Sin's judging you pretty hard.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Judging you pretty hard. But that said more importantly, if
you are going to the Golden Corral, stay sober, baby.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, you don't want it. It's just not for you.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
That's that's not a low you need to sink too.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
You're better than that.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Yeah, so you.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
You think it sounds like that this conspiracy of white
people atrophying is less about a conscious choice on their
part and more just sort of what would you say?
Speaker 1 (34:14):
The cause is? I think the market got flooded with
superior product, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Yeah, that they were always making these weird freedo pies
and now we just know better.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Yeah, and now the internet you can learn how to
make anything. Like they're not, you know, they're just like, yeah,
let me. Everybody can make curry.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Now everybody can make curry.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
My mom was making curry back in ninety five.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
Whoa, that was back when curry was illegal.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Yeah, they stop you at the airport, Yeah curry, you're
getting pulled over, miss man.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
First person I ever saw with coconut milk.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
WHOA, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, I didn't know that coconuts
could be milked.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
No, no, no, you milk meat, Greg. I don't know where.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
It was due to a feces thrown all over the walls,
the floor.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
The ceiling, and.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
That's just a good Yeah, you had to clean clean
house a little bit anyway. Yeah, so it sounds like
you're you're of the belief that this is more about
like the a superior product. Yeah, yeah, I will say
that that when we were talking about this out there,
the idea was presented that some of this has to
(35:38):
do with white people's laziness. Said, yeah, and and let's
be cautious. Let's be careful. Let's make sure that our
white listeners don't feel offended by the things that we're saying.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
I don't know if we'll go that far.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
We want to hurt you, but we don't want to
hurt you with our setups. We want to hurt you
with our punch. We want to push you far enough
way that you'll still give your money to support us,
you know, like an abusive relationship. We love you and
we'll never do it again.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
It's sometimes.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Oh no, that's that. If you are being abused, called yea.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Unless you're a white person being abused by us, then
stay right here, give me money. But no.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
It was presented that that perhaps the cause of white
people atrophying as as chefs and cooks in general is
the result of them just being lazy, That they have
accepted a position of of sort of like being served
in society, and that they are unwilling to adjust that
(36:57):
thinking even as they continue to make bullshit.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Out in the world. I think that's a little too simple.
I think that that maybe that idea is kind of
based more in white supremacy than I wanted to be. Mmm,
you know what I mean, Like we're on top, so
we just didn't we just stopped trying. It's like, I
think it's one. I think there's more going on.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Than that, right that, Like it suggests a possibility that
like they are in fact kings and queen's yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
As opposed to maybe they're just people who are fucking
up right, you know what I'm saying. The lazy thing
kind of is like yep, we we got on top
and now we're lazy and we just say, you know
what I mean, as supposed to, so that there's not
a problem with them. They don't have to answer for that,
you know what I mean? That's fair.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
We have seen, certainly historically enough examples of both the
rich and the poor being bad at cooking, right, do
you know what I mean? In a different way, Yeah,
in very different ways.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
So it does.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
It does make sense that, you know what I mean,
And that's true of all races. I would say, yeah,
that like sometimes there is a dangerous propaganda of like,
black people can cook, white people can't, and that's not true.
I know a lot of black motherfuckers that can't cook.
For shit, Well you said it. I just think on
average people, I enjoy black people's food a lot more
(38:25):
than I enjoy white people's food. Yeah, you're struggling, you know.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
I'm just trying to think about because I have definitely
known to the white people who can really cook. Grow down.
But I think, yeah, we're talking about just like on
the whole of the numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I wonder. Yeah,
that is interesting because it is crazy to me when
you meet like a whole family who can't cook. You
ever go over to like those kids house when you
(38:53):
were a kid, You're like, this is what your Yeah,
you just you got to look like this, you just.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Yeah, I'll be honest. I mean it's I mean it genuinely.
My father. One of my favorite dishes that he used
to make when I was a kid was something called
tomato chicken, and.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
It was just it was just.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
It was just a fucking like a weird like uh
chicken breast in a skillet with like tomato, like out
of the can. And he was just like, mix it
up and lightly seems it and I'd be like, just
fucking yeah, this is the best. And in retrospect it
wasn't good.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
You just like chicken.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
I like chicken. I like tomatoes, and I was like,
these are two things I care for.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
That's a single meals.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
He was, well, we're having tomato chicken tonight. Tomato chicken.
Speaker 6 (39:56):
And it's almost like you were there. You truly ca
I should our voices perfectly.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Yeah, I figured, I bet you Dad, you real nice guy.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Yeah, he was making this ship tomato chicken, and I
loved it.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I don't think it was good. It's got this weird
little boy who loves poetry. He doesn't know what the
females like.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
I got to make a meal fast, Yeah, I gotta
be some vegetables in it, apparently tomatoes onion chicken. Yeah,
tomato chicken, tomato chicken, and I thought it was the
fucking best, and now in retrospective, wasn't the best?
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Still make tomato chicken? Then he does? We don't.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
We don't have meals at at his house anymore when
you go back, Yeah, no, we don't. I've never asked
him to cook for me ever again, and I don't
think he's never been, like, you know, I've been working
on the tomato chicken. I got a new rest. So yeah,
it's just I think we're all in agreement that like that,
that was the act of a of a man just
(40:53):
trying to keep it together for for a boy.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Hey, but you know what, tomato chi you wouldn't be
who you are now without that.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
I think the tomato chicken really helped shake me into
a stronger individual. And it's and I think maybe if
we're bringing this full circle, maybe that's what white people
would benefit from. It's a little bit of full acknowledgement that, like,
you have been eating tomato chicken this whole time, Right, you.
Speaker 5 (41:17):
Guys are that good.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
It's never been that good. Stop giving yourself stars for
fucking award winning meals just because I mean one dude,
but That's.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
What I would argue. I bet there's a lot less
in Africa, in South America.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
And that's what I'm saying. Who is Michelan and who's
given out this?
Speaker 1 (41:36):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (41:37):
A big old, a big old fluffy white man has
given out those those awards.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Who decides the.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Fact that he's made out of tire.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Top of him coming in this French restaurant.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Yeah, and he's like, he's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
You know what, you get a star. I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
I don't know. I've never studied them at all. But
the point is I think we would benefit. French food
is for poor people, but now they act like it's fancy. Yeah,
it's all just like butter and yeah, it's just they
put a butcher of butter and then they pour the
butter on top of the thing they're cooking until it's.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
I mean, that's how it's.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
French food is fucking great.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
We should make them get steaks after this.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Come on, man, we having steaks y'all? Hey, Will Ferrell,
will dirty Dog Pharaoh Willie. Now, I just say white
people would benefit from being more honest about their relationship
with their own food, and then subsequently maybe we can
become They can learn to become better cooks. They can
(42:52):
learn to actually embrace the cultures around them by first
acknowledging like, hey, we've been putting up ship numbers.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, your mom's castle is kind of bad.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
It's not freedom pie ain't a thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
it's your lips, you know.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Well, it was very recently that it happen, because I
ain't the fucking ba.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
I was just.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
I don't want you to look like a fool.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I appreciate it. It's just I had some nuts and
then I was like, I need more food than and
then you had made that nut joke, which made me
kind of like hesitant to eat more nuts.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
And well, I only made the joke because you screamed
out loud scream I love nuts.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
I do love nuts, and you shouldn't feel bad about that.
It's very healthy.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Now we listen. I am a product of my own community.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
He's a tomato chicken man.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
I'm a tomato chicken man, through and through. I don't
know how long we've been doing this.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
It feels like hours. I feel like we did it.
I think it was good.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
I think we nailed this perfectly. Yeah, no notes whatsoever.
Ten out of ten you want to tell the people
where they can find you and what cool shit you
have going on?
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Cool guy jokes Citty seven on Instagram, that's where everything's
gonna be at. Oh, when this comes out, you should
watch Royal Crackers on Adult Swim and then HBO Max
the next day. Hell yeah, yeah, that's Max Max. Oh,
it's just Max.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
It's just Max now Mad Max, Mad Max TV.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
What about you?
Speaker 3 (44:31):
You can find me at Langston Kerrman on all social
media platforms. And if this comes out before February nineteenth,
I would love for you to be at my special
taping in Chicago at the Green Mill. The tickets are
available online. And yeah, I'm gonna be telling jokes for
an hour and it's gonna be really fun and I
hope you guys pack it out and make it a
(44:52):
great time. And as always, if you want to send
us your own drops, your own conspiracies, If you want
to send us a recipe of your mother's famous bullshit
white food that you think in fact is worth celebrating,
send it all to my mamapod at gmail dot com.
We would love to hear from you. That's the whole shebang.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
Bye bitch.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
I'd rather check myself before I wrecked myself.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
My crow Chips and your.
Speaker 4 (45:27):
Kuala bears are racists, money turkey stuff I can't tell
me
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
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