Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Motherfucking Mini yr Soul many episode, motherfucking Mini Yrself.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Yup, yup, yup, there it is.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
There is.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal mini episode of
My Mama Told.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy theories and.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
We finally worked to prove the theories that you pieces
of shit have at home. We were talking about another
email that I think folks got excited about, a email
that came to us very secretively. I would say, like,
not a lot of information about the center of this email,
(00:48):
but the subject the headline is white aliens. White aliens
is where we're at. And this person starts off by saying,
what up. My crackers didn't care for that one bit.
It not not yours, not ever, hear me kill We
(01:12):
call you cracker, You don't call us crackers that call.
Speaker 5 (01:15):
Me, You don't call me, Uh he said, So, first off,
I'm a member of the white devil raceer we guess, uh.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Being that, I don't think I'm allowed to talk ship
about YouTube. But let's be honest, it's not like I
can get canceled, so onto the conspiracy. I'm not you.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Gotta respect the white person who owns their power.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, he really like the Kimbe Mutumbo finger in our face.
You know what I mean. He's like, what the fuck YouTube?
What he's gonna do about it?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Can we have this debate very quickly? Okay. My wife
is of the belief we we made a reference to
to moon crickets and bust down being silly and also
like as a very like derogatory, we're making fun of it.
We called a person Freddy's character, we called him a
greasy lipped moon cricket.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
And I remember that character, you said.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I said it very passionately, great actor, please hire ut
uh that said? My wife heard that and was like,
I think moon cricket sounds like a beautiful phrase like that.
She honestly believes it to be like kind of a
compliment to be referred to as a moon girl. And
(02:39):
I've been trying to explain that, like, ma'am, I don't
think that's true. She's like, but it sounds so pretty.
It's a cricket like singing to the moon. That's nice.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
No it's a greasy lip. No no no, no, no,
no no, no, it's bad.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
It's worth noting that she didn't keep the greasy lipt
attached to it. She's not, Oh, she's strictly referring to
moon cricket. Greasy Lipps was our edition.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Okay, listen, No, you can't, don't. It's gone too far
for that. That phrase is dead. You can't. You're not
taking it back. It's just it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I'll tell you this, and this is a very true thing.
She has actually turned her bio on Instagram into into
essentially what is the the emoji translation to moon cricket,
you know, with hearts all around it. No, it's a
(03:36):
moon and then a cricket and a bunch of hearts
exploding around it. Because she's like, this is beautiful and
I'm gonna keep it.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
In a perfect world. Yeah, in a vacuum. I understand.
Those are two beautiful words to put together on the
street smoke.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Come on, man, you're saying there's too much history there
for cricket.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
A lot of words, a lot of a lot of
a lot of racial effects are pretty.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Nigga, that's a beautiful that sings beautiful.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Other ones that I don't want to get into because
for fear I will be canceled sure.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I think I think I guess my question, or rather,
what what comes to mind is there also was a
first person to be like, I'm gonna make nigga pretty,
and I'm sure they were met with similar sort of
like uh anti nigga hate.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Do you know what?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I don't think so, I think it's a pretty harsh
word in.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
General, double con.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
But I'm saying that like there was sure, we know,
but there was a person who was like, I'm gonna
make it ours and I'm gonna be the first to
do that, and I'm saying that they were not.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Do you think that?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
How do you think it happened? Otherwise?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
There's a lot of internalized racism.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Right right right, But I'm saying, Okay, at some point
one person went from being a person who was being
called a nigga to them being like, I'm a nigga.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Right right right right right right right right right.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
And that means cool.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
One person had to make that choice first, and then
a title wave of different people responded in good and
bad ways. But that there had to have been a
pioneer of nigga.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I don't feel like it was just defined as that.
I feel like it was much more gradual descent into
nigga doom.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Wow, So you don't like giving you don't like giving
our ancestors their flowers?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
No, I feel like it's a complicated.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
No, I don't think it's that complicated. I think Rosa
Parks did that bus shit first. And there was a
nigga man before any of you, you copycats showed up.
There was one dude, I'm wearing this ship. He was like,
that's my fucking cape. And people were like, this man
might be the craziest motherfucker every crazy. This nigga's crazy.
(06:19):
And they were like, oh, no, what have I said?
Speaker 4 (06:25):
I like it?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Oh that felt good, I.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Like it all right? Yeah this man.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
So I think I think there's an argument to be
said that my wife might just be a pioneer of
sorts and and we'll all be calling each other beautiful
moon crickets in a matter of a decade.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
We got shortened though, it's too many sable moon cricket.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Oh yeah, what up?
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Then?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
See and that kind of works out? It does, and
you don't want to just be called cricket And no.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
No, no, my brother cricket after this.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
See what he does? Just see he's like.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
He's like twenty, so I tested it on him.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Do you think that he's aware of moon cricket as
a as a phrase yet?
Speaker 4 (07:19):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Hell yeah, so yeah, call him a moon cricket. See
what he does.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. In the text.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
What's his name, Martin? Like, Martin, you're a moon cricket
to me, Man, yeah, I love you. I love you,
and I think you're a moon cricket. And he'll be like, damn,
that's beautiful day that Yeah, yeah, that feels nice when
you say, okay, we got we we simply have to
(07:49):
do this email.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
Yeah, oh I forgot about it. I forgot about it.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
We have this email that that we were sitting on
that we won't refuse to finish. But he said, uh,
he said, so we can't get canceled, he says, so
onto the conspiracy theory. While growing up, I was always
told by my very racist family, the white people, that
white people were aliens that came and colonized Earth and
black people were the original inhabitants. There was also so
(08:16):
much more, so much more racist shit about this that
I didn't feel comfortable saying. While I never believe this,
I do have some questions like, where the fuck do
white people come from? Anyways? What country did we originate from?
Every country has an indigenous population, Every country has a
story of being all peaceful and enjoying mother nature. Then
white he shows up and fucks up everything. Also, Elon
(08:38):
Musk is black. We don't claim that, motherfucker. Thank you,
alien child.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
There's a lot going on here.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
No, First of all, he tried to unload Elon on
us right at the end. That felt wild. I love
a good bit. I'm a silly motherfucker first and for most,
but you chill the fuck out about making Elon.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
If anybody is an alien. It's second of all, that
doesn't make any sense because like human, there's still humans. Mmm. Right,
Like you're saying that aliens who had the exact same
genetic makeup and build but we're just white, came to
(09:24):
this planet and that's stupid.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I don't know, Okay, I.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Think this guy is a stupid I think he's a
stupid person.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I like to play the game a little bit more
than you do. I I'll say this. I think that
if in fact we were to make the argument that
white people are aliens, then then we could also make
the the argument that because so much of our conversations
(09:52):
around genetics and and our physical forms and shiit was
documented by white people. I'm not gonna say originated by them,
because that's not true, but certainly documented in terms of
like its current version of like circulation and popularity. There's
an argument to be made that they have been convincing
us they have the same genetic makeup as us, when
(10:14):
in fact they know very well from their own research
that there are differences between our forms. What are the
differences between white and black people? I don't know, That's
what I'm saying. I'm not the doctor, and you're not
gonna try me, and you'll be like, well, you know,
we just jump high. That's not what I'm arguing. I'm
(10:40):
merely saying that, like, if I'm a white alien trying
to pass as human, I would tell you that we
have the same genetic makeup when in fact I had
some other shit going on, right?
Speaker 4 (10:50):
What other shit again?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I'm not going to get I'm not going to get
trapped in this hell circle of.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
I'm saying that's it's crazy to me because like they
just came here already out it's like nuts, And why
didn't they come here and colonize if they had the
if they had the technology to go.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
From wherever they were to hear, why did they not
implement any of that technology when they got here?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I mean, but I think I think there's an argument
to be made that maybe they didn't get here that
effectively right that like, oh.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
You think it's like a crash landed.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I think the way that like the fucking Pilgrims barely
made it here and and couldn't get back, so they
had to turn into weird like fuck the king and
queen people, you know what I mean, like they they
that's how white people could have ended up on this planet, is.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Like you think they like crashed like it was a
long arduous journey.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah. I think they showed up in a mayflower ass spaceship.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
And then black people took care, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
And Indigenous people and ship and and then eventually they
just were like, all right, we got enough people, we
we could start changing some ship around here, Okay. And
I think if they I don't know that I believe
any of this. I just I get high and play
the game. Baby.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Isn't it just the people migrated although though you do
think like indigenous people even in cold climates are darker skinned.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Right, they in fact are are are tan. But there's
a lot of and I think to this this Alien's point,
there are indigenous people of all of these lands that
have either been pushed out or erased, and then we
have been led to believe that this is like white land,
when in fact that's like biologically that can't be true.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Damn, damn. That is kind of facts.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
And I'm not gonna go down a list of the
various lands because that's gonna get us in the most
we could get.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
In it here.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
You know, I don't know, I don't think it's smart
to be like those people don't belong there. They It's
like WHOA, no, sir, I'm gonna stay where I'm at.
But I will say that, yeah, there's there's very few
places where we know for sure, like Boom Earth from
the ground this is where white people, right. Yeah, even
(13:33):
Caucasian is a it doesn't even refer to an area
where white people would be from. I believe, if I'm
not mistaken, Caucasian is like a Asian thing that it
like refers to like some some Caucaus mountains in like
Asia somewhere. Listen, Oh Indo Iranian? Okay, yeah, I knew
(13:56):
I was. Oh like our producer Hans he says, yeah,
it's it's it's not even a white place. And they
got the whole title of Caucasians even though they ain't
got nothing to do with them.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
That is a good point. Where are white people from?
I don't damn this ship. I'm coming back around.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
All right, talk to me, Talk to me, just like,
where are they?
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Where are they from? Where did they come from?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
There's a great question.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
I'm so white. Nobody else is white like that? Why
are they so white?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, the rest of the world made a different choice.
What's happening with Joe and blonde hair on an adult
seem crazy to me, which we we've done an episode
in the past where I know for a fact that
blonde hair and I believe it's blue eyes are both
recessive traits. It's not even like, uh, their mutations that
were born far later down the line and are super rare.
(14:51):
It's not like it's a common uh thing the way
that it sort of gets presented to us, right Like
it's actually like super recessive and super mutated from the
original like human genome and ship.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
I've always said that people are freaks. You take that,
you take that, however, that's up to you, big dog.
I've always said that you ever met a blonde A
don't it's crazy. You're like, you're just out here voting.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
They let you vote. Okay, not in my booth, but
I ain't. I couldn't volunteer this year. But but when
I'm back.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
Wait, he's saying Aaryan people, not Caucasian people. Aryan people
are Oh you were Indo Iranian?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Oh okay? So so wait? Oh wait, I'm confused Caucasian
with oh okay, yeah, greater caucus reaches is what it
refers to, and that would be Russia, Georgia and Azerbaijan.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, So white people Janni.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I don't know and and frankly, I don't feel comfortable
calling anybody in Azerbaijani.
Speaker 6 (16:06):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I don't know enough about what that means to be
to be throwing what was he man?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
I think.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You're going to jail you pieces shit. You can't call
him Azbi?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
John wait, so Caucasian of relating to or characteristic of,
one of the traditional racial divisions of humankind marked by
fair to dark skin, straight to tightly curled hair, and
light to very dark eyes, and originally inhabiting Europe, parts
of North Africa, Western Asia, and India. So basically just Langston.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, that doesn't describe.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
That describes all people.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It's real. Uh, just a big old mush of of
whatever was available.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
It makes me nervous that we can't find receipts on
where white people started. Yeah, that does seem like gives
credibility to this conspiracy.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Theory that that there's no like real origin, So I
would assume Greenland or or you know what I mean.
It just seems that seems like as white as you could.
I never heard, Yeah, that same energy, I would say,
I don't they don't. They probably don't talk to each
other that often, but I bet if they met up,
(17:26):
they're like, oh, you wear blue clogs and I wear
I wear red ones. But but we the same.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
So that's where white people started. But did people start?
The people started in Africa?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
We know that, right, and then we know that migration happened.
So people started spreading out and pangaeas starts breaking apart,
and so the the spread then makes it so that
like you are trapped on these pseudo islands of your
own making or and then.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
People learn to sail, and that's why, like sailing is
why Europe advanced so much faster, right, because it's so
coastal that you can sail from place to place and
then encourage just trade and stuff, whereas the coasts of
Africa are like a lot more difficult.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
There's not a lot of natural Yeah, I think at
a certain point that right, Yeah, being landlocked was was
a disadvantage, to the point that, like you, you truly
were behind generationally, at least in certain types of competition, right, right, right,
But yeah, I don't know. So so they was just
people migrated and they got lighter as they went. They
(18:33):
just I.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
Guess if you could be dark that far north, then
why did anybody get white?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, I think I guess the suggestion would be there
are indigenous people who continue to populate with themselves and
thus stay darker, whereas like the white people that traveled there,
like kept fucking other lighters. Oh yeah, they were, but
only for themselves. And maybe that's part of it, is
(19:01):
like we just all want to fuck what looks like us,
and that's how you make a white person.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Oh, maybe people do. People do tend to mate with
people who look like them. Mm hmmm hmm, like even facially.
You ever noticed that a lot of people, a lot
of couples look alike. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
One of the more painful moments of my of my
life is meeting my my wife's grandmother for the first
time and her being like, y'all look alike and then
me just having to wrestle with that feeling for the
rest of the day.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Oh, that's very It's very common. Most couples look like.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, but this is this is before we're married. This
is just us dating, and that that starts to feel like, oh, no,
I have I made a terribly vain choice. Am I
just trying to fuck myself? And and that's all? This
is kind of thing ultimately, are I think so? And
and I made peace with it. Me and my uh
(19:59):
and my handsome wife we do just fine, you know.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Oh man, that's a good thing though. That means you're healthy.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah, I'm just a normal guy who wants to look
at a lady who looks like me.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
You just want to fall asleep staring into your own eyes.
And that's There's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
But yeah, I do think that it sort of is
that right, that we just sort of I had an
agent Wants who owns like a farm, explained to me
that she actually like has chickens on her farm and
that when the chickens hatch, they will naturally separate themselves
(20:47):
from like the yellow chickens to like the brown chickens.
Like they'll like form little groups and like hang out
with each other. And it's like, God, damn, I'm not saying,
I'm not saying which wasn't my favorite, but A said that.
(21:10):
But yeah, I think I think we just all like
to fund what we look like. And so there was
probably like a light skinned a dude who fucked a
light skinned lady and then they their light skinned kids
fucked the lightest of them until you fucked until you
made a way.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Also, but also some of us are adventurers and they'll
put it in anything. Mm m you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Mm hmmm, hmmm hmmm.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Some of us, some of us ladies.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
If we could get real quiet and real serious for
a second, some of us ladies.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Even the weird Ship, I think we I think we
solve this.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, I think that this feels very possible, certainly, and
I'm committed to it. And I thank you white person
for white alien for thank you white devil for your
your sacrifice and and uh and we're grateful for you
sending this and we wish you the best. We hope
that that you are able to take advantage of your
(22:20):
alien ship, your alien hood as it were.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
They're doing fun.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yeah, gotta figure out. Yeah, but you know, I don't
want you guys to lose anything. You're up against a
big wakin.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
I think they're losing ground right now. I think I
think the West is falling in to that. Africa is
a new frontier. But that's for a new week. That's
a difference. That's a different episode by Africa.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Bory. Do you want to tell the people where they
can find you and what cool should you have going on?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
You can find me a cool Guy Jokes eighty seven
on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
And as always you can you can follow me at
Langston Herman and go subscribe to our YouTube hang out
bullshit whatever that is. And uh, all right, that's it. Bye, bitch.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Motherfucking Mini Yeah Sol Minie episode, motherfucking Mini eev Sol,
motherfucking Mini ever Sel Minie episode, motherfucking Mini ever Sel,