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April 12, 2022 64 mins

Do cell phones towers disguised as trees emit frequencies that make Black people want to kill each other? Langston and his guest Jermaine Fowler (Amazon's Coming 2 America) climb up this conspiracy theory. 

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, my mama told me. Listeners, you're probably thinking to yourself,
this isn't Linkston Kerman. I know his voice because we
constantly make fun of it in the listener emails. This
is producer Olivia, and I would like to give you
all the heads up that we ran into some technical
difficulties which impacted the audio throughout the episode. Is it
still a good episode? Yes? Absolutely, Langston and his guest

(00:22):
they have great banter and the topic is beyond and
you will not want to miss the deep dive they
go into. Next question. You're probably asking yourself, are Koala
is racist? And the answer is yes, yes, indeed, if
you want to make Linkston happy, you all better go
listen to the episode right now, continue to rate, review,

(00:43):
and subscribe to the podcast. In the words of Langston,
bye bitch and a homes will come over and like
bad lesson. I was pretty dope, but like Jerome would
like rap about stuff I told in the confidence like
he would people you Jamaine Peter bad and I'm like,
that's that's not cool and that's not a rap. You win,

(01:11):
all right, chips in your racists money term stuff you

(01:36):
can't tell me? Yep, yep, Yep, there it is. There is.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My
Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep
into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally
work to prove that Push Your Tea is going to

(01:57):
go down as the oldest cocaine salesman of all time.
That man is never gonna stop rapping about selling cocaine.
Every other cocaine man they've matured, Gucci Man a vegan,
now Jay Z an adulterer. Everybody's grown up into a
different thing, but not not my man, Push your Tea.
Push your Tea is going to be a hundred and

(02:19):
thirty nine years old, still talking about cooking up bacon soda.
It's the only memory he cares to lead behind I'm
your host, Slankston Kerman is always coming in hot, taking
shots and pushing tea. I hope he doesn't to hear
this because he's gonna custom me the funk out. That's
his personality all the time. He cutted out McDonald's because
they didn't pay him enough. That's that's a that's a

(02:41):
mean man to funk with. But I don't know why
I would do it anyway. You know who doesn't funk
with people? Who a kind human being? Who doesn't uh
cause shenanigans out in the world. It's my guest today.
He's He's hilarious, a goddamn jim of a human being.
I love him so much. He's so funny. You know
him from his work on Coming to America Too. I'm

(03:03):
sorry to bother you on one of my favorite shows
of all time called Friends to the People. He's so funny.
Please give it up for my friend, Mr Jermaine, Thank you,
Thank you. Man. Why do you come and pushing like that?
He's got time to disaru. He's gonna find you. Man,
He's got nothing but time. You know what it is?

(03:25):
Every week I have to find a new black person
to antagonize. And it just happened that Push your teet
was this week. But but I don't know if it's
the right choice. I gotta start thinking different. I think
I think you're right. His brother, remember Malice. I think
he quit rapped to be a preacher. You know, he
wanted to do something different. And you know, Push, it
was like, I'm good, I'm good, I like I like,

(03:48):
I like what I'm doing. Grinding of course. Still you
know hits right, that was that one hit that like
you know, everybody was banging on the locker room door
and like the blunch tables and ship like that. But
I feel like maybe the album was peaked Clips and
since then maybe, like you know, they haven't gotten that

(04:10):
the Flowers yet And I hope so, man, because they
inspired me to wrap. Me and my twin we used
to want to be like the Clips. So it's still
kind of wait, So you and your brother were going
to be a duo, was that what you were saying?
We were a duo like me and Jerome. We used
to write raps together and like you know, make songs
together and stuff in like seventh grade maybe eighth grade
when the Clips came out. And then at some point

(04:31):
Drum Drum wanted to split from the group, just like
Push because Jerome was a pellographer. I was more like
I was into some other stuff. So he was like,
you kind of ruined my image a little bit, right.
We got us, you know, and he dipped. He liked
kill kill, kill, murder, murder murder, flowers. He uh. We

(04:56):
used to battle rap in the house and homes will
come over and like battle lesson. Drone was a beast.
Drone was talented everything. Jones was a ballplayer. Drone could
fight drones, ladies, Dude, you know what I mean? Uh,
he could wrap man drones like renaissance. Dude. Is that
does that or at least growing up, did that bug
you at all? That like your father is I guess

(05:18):
outshining you in this way? No? Never, no, no, no, um.
I think, uh, there were some We had had three siblings, right,
it was four of us in the house, and we
all had our own lane, you know. And uh, I
was always kind of a black sheet. We all were
kind of black sheep in our family. But for me,
like I was super into reading dictionaries and drawing animals
and collecting insects bringing them home, and like I didn't

(05:40):
like built my own museum in my sister's room and
just don't when the Mummy came out. I wanted to
be like an archaeologist, know that. So I was just
like my own person. So Jerome had his own thing
and the things Jerome was into I wasn't really into
at the time, And I think that kind of helped
me like understand like that, you know, it's okay to
your own person, you know what I mean, especially in comedy,

(06:03):
like when you're gaging yourself with other people's careers, like
it can get tricky and like really like time consuming
when you're not you know, when you're focus on other people,
you know what I mean. So it kind of helped
me stay kind of patient and diligent with you know
what I what I did differently, so not at all. Yeah,
you you were able to center yourself early, because it's like,

(06:24):
why I'm not even trying to do stuff like I
lost my virginity at sixteen. Drome probably lost his early,
you know what, Like he was he was into everything,
like he got everything super quick and like stuff Jerome knew.
I don't even know. Um No, Joe Jerome knew about
masturbation before me, Like I had what he was talking about.

(06:46):
I'm like, what touch yourself? Like Joe, you would tell you.
I was like oh, and then I found out. I'm like, oh,
this dude's a trend seven. How did you know? That's
so funny because that feels like that is proof against

(07:08):
that that suggestion of like twin brain and like the
e sp that y'all share. It's like na dog I've
been jerking off for years. Let's do it. No idea,
no idea, no cluid random orgasms like, oh was that about.
I didn't have that like at all. Man. Yeah, Rome
was ahead of the game with all that ship. All right, Well,

(07:31):
we can't keep talking about twins jerking off. We got
we got more important conversations to jump into here, because
you came with a conspiracy theory that I'm very excited
to dig into. You said, my mama told me cell
phone toms disguised as trees. I put in the hood
to a myth, frequencies that make black people want to

(07:51):
kill each other. Yeah, tell me more. So. When I
was younger, we used to play football on this patch
of grass next to this, next to our mam, right
next to like the shopping center and stuff. Yeah, there
was always these fake gas trees just kind of you know,

(08:14):
you know, sprinkled about the neighborhood and stuff. You know.
And when I right next to Hyattsville was College Park
and College Park is like the college neighborhood. That's where
University of Maryland is and more affluent, you know, we
want to call it. And yeah, there's a little bit
more money there. They didn't have had them. They didn't
have any any fake trees. They had real trees. So

(08:36):
I'm sitting there like, oh, these trees smell different, Like
they smell like trees, y'all. Trees don't smell like metal.
This is weird. These trees ain't that sharp? Um it
read it and it was. It was just odd. Right.
So then um, years later, you know, I'm living in
l A and stuff, and down the highway you would

(08:56):
see them, you know, you see him all the time
when you drop down four or five. And um, I
came across this like coincidentally, this uh, this Instagram video
and it was of this uh, this black man walking
down his neighborhood. Let's say it was like Gary, you know, Indiana.
It was the hood. It was something, and uh he's
like doing a selfie video and he's like, all y'all

(09:17):
got to bring some of your attention. All right, that's
a tree, right, Okay, what's that a tree? Cool? What
the fund is that hands over to the cell phone
the cell phone tower tree like like lego blocks man.
And I was like, oh man, they everywhere because I
thought it was just my neighborhood. And so he basically

(09:39):
you know goes in the video telling you know, his audience,
these cell phone towers admit frequencies that make black people
want to kill each other. And and this is right
after you know Flint, and I'm like, yeah, he right, Oh,
I love this, So you immediately were bought in. Why not?
Like at that point, you know, I felt like we

(10:02):
are gas lit as black people all the time. We're like,
you know, people just laugh at all of our conspirit.
We're just crazy, you know, we're paranoid and stuff. But
the flip Michigan water, if that is any indication that
we are you know what I'm saying. Like, I was like,
and the thing is like, I have no evidence of it,
like I but my blackness, my blackness was like, there's

(10:27):
something to this, there's something wrong with these trees. I
didn't research it. I didn't look it up. I didn't
even go on some like like case study or something like.
I didn't. I didn't do any of that. I just
believe that. Dude. I'm like, man, he said, what is this?
You were like, you you're asking all the right questions.
He was. He was no one, no one made that

(10:49):
video before. So I I, you know, I would love
to figure out why those neighborhoods and not Beverly Hills
or Fifth Avenue. You know, if there's there's something to it,
I just it's funny because I don't have any I
don't know what those I don't know what they are, like,
just know that they're just these fake trees, that's it.

(11:11):
And they've always been suspicious, Like why do you have
to disguise it? You know what I'm saying? Why make it?
Why not just make it a cell phone top? Why
disguise it as a fake tree? Well that's that's the
craziest part of it, is that not only are they
disguising it as a fake tree, but it's not a
well disguised fake tree. It's not like, oh man, I

(11:31):
would have never known that was in the tree if
I didn't try to chop it down. It's like, this
is literally a scam of a tree dog. So what's
what's happening here? Isn't that? Like I just like at
some point, like I was like, at least like trojan horses,
you know, like what what what are they trying to hide?
I mean, unless they're trying to decorate it to make
it look like you know, a cell phone tower is unattractive,

(11:55):
and you know, but so were a lot of things
in those neighborhoods, you know what I mean? So why
try to hide it? I don't I don't know, Like
we had so many things in our neighborhood that, like,
we had liquor stores that were like and the Chappelle
Jo you know what I mean, Like we had all
that ship that was unhealthy was like we we went,
you know, that was advertised without any problems or anything

(12:19):
like that. Why hide this tower? Right? You're not making
a Popeye's look like a mountain? Right? No, So where
the funk are you doing something special to the cell
phone top? What I'm saying, man, that's that's exactly what
I was thinking. And that's right when I stopped thinking
about it, I was like, that's where That's as far
as my investigation went. I was like, okay, so you

(12:42):
stopped investigating, You gave up in terms of like wanting
to learn more. Do you then take this to other people?
Are you like, Look, I'm not gonna read anymore, but
I will spread the poison as far as I can
as I can share. I don't even think it was
an investigation it was just like a thought, I don't
even think I don't even think I put any I

(13:02):
would just like make sense to me, you know that.
But as far as me spreading it at that time,
a friend of mine, he uh, he's a really dope director.
His name is Ryan Prouse. He wrote this movie called
Low Life, and uh he sent me this this animated
project that he wanted to develop, and uh, it's called
Dirt Mall. It's about this this mall that has these

(13:24):
you know, weird sort of like instances that always happens
to it, you know. So it was kind of like Erie,
Indiana's old show on Fox. I used to watch all
the time, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets attack the block.
And so I told him, Yo, this is great. You know,
I think we need a way into this discussion for
our pitch. And I brought the cell phone tower video

(13:45):
up because the show takes place in a you know,
mostly black neighborhood, well and more importantly a poor neighborhood,
you know, and uh, this is these are the areas
where they don't you know, everything there, you know what
I mean that these areas that no one really cares
to keep intact you know, they dump they just you know,
dump cell phone towers there, poison water, all that that.

(14:06):
This this is that type of neighborhood. So we're basically
inherited every every real issue, you know, these disenfranchise neighborhoods.
Neighborhoods have put it in this one mall, this neighborhood
and had these like you know, had these you know,
supernatural instances and conspiracy theories take place within you know,
each sort of episode and story. So now we're developing

(14:28):
it for for effects. And it was that video that
made me connect to his his pitch man. So that's
I'm hoping that we can use that to talk about
more of those these conspiracy theories, like just like the show,
you know, in these sorts like these these things. I've
been like, man, I mean it's not just the cell
phone towers, so much stuff that I was told when

(14:48):
I was a kid that I'm like, what you know,
and is until you get older, when you start to
have kids, you're like maybe maybe you know yeah, and
I get it, I think. So so with that, do
you then go at now right at the time you're like, yeah,
I'm I'm I'm bought in. I believe this. Do you

(15:10):
feel that way now? Are you still presently? Like, yeah,
I believe this. I feel like there's got to be
something to it, you know what I mean. I'm not
a conspiracy theory guy, like you'll never like, you know,
I had a friend of mine who we would drive
past McDonald's and he would like always have this thing
about the arches and how they were admitting, you know,

(15:32):
perfume out of the you know, the the store to
you know, get people to walk, you know, and and
and you know, like that like you know that that
money tunes, like when they're like smelling something and they're
they thought they were doing that, Yeah, they the thing.
And so he was my friend every like his conspiracy
theory is kind of warped his perception of life, you

(15:54):
know what I mean. And not to say he was
wrong or anything like that, but he couldn't enjoy ship,
Like he couldn't enjoy anything. But how could you if
you that, you know, if you if you're paranoid that way.
And I didn't want that to consume just my everyday happiness,
you know, because I appreciate the conspiracy conspiracy theory guys,
but they're not fun to be around. No, not at all,

(16:16):
not at all. There's a few I kind of entertained.
I'm like, all right, cool, but that's not gonna be
my my Saturday. No, truly. It becomes a wild game
of like everything you touch is tied to some level
of conspiracy theory. Like you know, at the root of
everything in America if you deal with the conspiracy theories,
that like that's the government, that's capitalism trying to scam you.

(16:39):
And it's it's like, yeah, but everything in capitalism. So
when do we just get to like have a yogurt,
you know what I mean? When do we just get
to to kick it for a little bit? And I
understand that. I feel like once you, once you like
unravel one thing, you unravel your whole your whole existence
becomes this like what is real and it's not right exactly.

(17:01):
So that was my friend. His name was Chris, and
he was every day was like I'm like, damn, Chris,
But I don't want to get to the point when
I'm looking at my babies like yeah, I ain't real.
Yeah I drone, that's my field. So I had to stop,
like at some point, like you know, when you when
you open that door. There's just like YouTube warm hole.
You go down, it's like days and days and weeks

(17:22):
and weeks of information. You're just like and your your
eyes are red and you're like why and you're depressed.
You're just like everything. I believe that's kind of moment
in the matrix where you're like, well ship, you know,
like you know, you gotta back in your like I
don't know what, I just I'm like, you know, so
as much as everything you were in the little glass

(17:43):
sunglasses your eyes below, Yeah, it's like, come on, man,
get real sunglasses and call your family practical. You ain't
gotta live like this. The sun is still hit your eyes.
So it's one of those things. So like I kind
of like choose that. I pick and choose what, like
the type of information, what information consumes me, because you know,

(18:07):
if you don't filter it out, I believe it truly
like it has an effect on you man. And it's
just like social media. I tried to like filter out
what I need to see what I don't need to see.
For the same way about conspiracy theory. I feel that
I like that because I think you did a very
roundabout way of being like, no, I'm a little still

(18:28):
brought in on this, but but I'm a reasonable amount
of blood in. I'm not over here like a fanatic.
I'm not like sitting here making YouTube videos at home
trying to warm my neighborhood. Not to go near these trees.
But also if y'all stay away from the trees, i'd
appreciate that. Yeah, it's it's a reasonable that's a reasonable trepidation,

(18:50):
you know what I mean, Like I haven't gotten to
the point. Who knows, I'm still like, I'm still pretty young,
so like, who I still got time to be that?
Can I can? I can probably snap one morning, oh yeah,
you know on Hollywood Boulevard waving aside. Like Lenggston didn't
live in the podcast, listen to the podcast, I said everything,

(19:11):
it's all in there. I got the glands. I've changed, man,
I don't think. I think that's how a lot of
the homeless issues started. Maybe somebody had that unraveled one
thing and it just boomed like it's just like you
know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, no, truly, it's like
the first you find out that that they're the pink

(19:31):
sludge in McDonald's is real, and now all of a sudden. Yeah, Now,
all of a sudden, you're living on the street just
yelling at people. It's it's a quick unraveling. It's true, man,
it's so true. So we don't want you to unravel.
We will will keep you in your your slight trepidation
about all of this stuff. But we we will take

(19:52):
a break. We'll be back with more. Charmin feller More,
my mama told me. And we are back. Oh yeah, honestly, yeah,

(20:19):
we're back here with more. Jermaine feller More, my mama
told me. We're still talking about the possibility that cell
phone towers are being disguised as trees as a long
con to make black people murder each other and and
and attack each other. Do you think because these cell
phone towers, as you said, are everywhere, do you think

(20:39):
that they are emitting something different in black neighborhoods or
are are they just is it more of a a
proximity thing and or like at the amount of them
that's making its specifically dangerous for the black community. I
believe they're not. They're not just everywhere. They're more. I've

(20:59):
seen them my experience. I've seen them more in poor neighborhoods,
you know what I'm saying. And so I'm more disent
franchise neighborhoods, right, And so I think about the statistics
there versus more you know what I mean, like more
affluent neighborhoods, And it's the numbers are different. So I

(21:20):
mean they have the amount of cell phone towers there are,
you know, they're and they're imbalanced, you know what I mean.
They fluctuate more, they lead towards like the more disentfranchise neighborhoods.
So I mean, I'm inclined to believe it's true, you
know what I'm saying. Now, do I believe like cell
phone towers are sending like overt signals like kill kill, murder, murder,

(21:43):
like you know, play the record backwards, let's zelin ship like.
Maybe not, but I do know that they like these
these these are these huge corporations. They dump these things
in these neighborhoods, like, you know, because they else you're
gonna put it. It's not it's not attractive to put
it in a you know, and and a richer, more

(22:04):
a neighborhood that actually that's something to give, you know
what I mean Beverly Hill like a more you know
what I'm saying, So like why, Like I just I
just go why. I'm not gonna sit here and like
make definitive statements and arguments, but I will say, why
are they there versus the other neighborhoods? Yeah, I mean,
I think to your your point is, at these corporations,

(22:25):
even if their intention is not specifically like yo, we're
about to drive black people crazy, murder, murdered, death, death,
that's they still benefit from their choices and a lot
of times and it's it's part of where I I
guess I take issue with some of the way that
we approach conspiracy theory as we treat a lot of
these corporations as if they have like this clearly sinister attention. Yeah,

(22:50):
And a lot of times I think it's just rich
people figuring out ways to keep being rich and make
more money. Period. I I believe that like we don't
exist to them, our money does. But like as huge
things like uh, we do not exist. There's no accountability.
They don't have to be accountable there. I don't know
if you remember, but way back in the day, I
think in the seventies and maybe the sixties, they were

(23:12):
dumping um teflon and Broadaways and you know, more disenfranchise neighborhoods,
and people would they were getting cancer more in these
in these in these neighborhoods. Like this movie called Dark Water, yeah,
with Mark Ruffalo, and so I was watching that and
I was blown away, you know what I'm saying. And
so a lot of times it's not even a black
white thing. It's just like, you know, you have nothing

(23:33):
to give me, So I'm gonna dump this ship here.
You ain't gonna they can't. Like it's like if I
even if I said, hey, y'all, that's true, what the
funk am I doing about it? Like, hom I I can't.
I wonder. Sometimes that's that's where the you know, being
consumed by the conspiracy theory is kind of like that's
where I stop it is because sometimes like I'm like,

(23:55):
you know, you know, I mean maybe strength that's probably
strengthen numbers, you know what I mean. I hope they
stopped doing it. I would like them to, you know,
it'd be great. I really do believe that. But at
some point you just kind of like just just why,
you know, just just just why you know, Yeah, I
had a friend one time tell me that he and
I apologize ahead of time because this is a little crast.

(24:18):
But he told me that the calamari that they serve
in restaurants is not in fact calamari. It's not squid.
It's like cow amous. They said, it's like literally chopped
up cow assholes. You guys can't see your main space.
But he's not processing this will But apparently this is
his claim at least that it is cow, butth holes
that they chop up and tell us that it's squid.

(24:40):
And for me, as a person who enjoys calamari, I
had to make a choice to be like nigga, what
am I going to do? Like even if that's true,
I want I want to still like calamari. So here
we are, I'm gonna eat. I'm gonna eat some cow.
But I don't know. I that's more devil standing and
finding out that chicken nuggets weren't chicken. I love calamari,

(25:06):
but I'm always no joke. I've always had that octopus
before octopus looks like octopus, right, But I've had calamari
and I've looked at it like it's circular, and I'm
like what squit is this? Yeah, I believe that that's

(25:26):
a good one. I actually actually like that one because
it makes so much sense. And but you know, eating
eating the calamari and thinking why is the circular hasn't
stopped me from eating it? But but hole, Mike, and
I don't. I guess the point I'm trying to make
is I don't want to stop eating the butt hole.
If that's what the butth hole is, I'm gonna eat
the boat. But I know it's but hole. I or

(25:49):
or or don't because either way, y'all ain't gonna stop
serving us. But hole. That's truly the way that this
this entire thing has been built. You if you ever
eating uhlans, yes, yeah, it smells, it's just gastrol er.
It's it's the in the I believe the the large Intestine. No,

(26:12):
it's a small intestine. It's gotta be small intestine. Okay,
the count maybe maybe they ain't got big and small.
It's it's uh, it's a big Yeah, it's a pig intestines.
When I my dad brought home some chiplings once right
and um, he opened a bag up. It smells so
bad like I've never and was small, and I was

(26:38):
I was disgusted, right and I was like that, what's that?
And he goes, oh, it's it's chilings. I'm like, what
are chillings? He's like inside of a pig, you know,
And I'm like, Okay, are you gonna you're gonna dump that?
Or what are we doing to eat it? And so
it's funny when people pick and choose where the gross
diet like so like you know what I mean for

(27:02):
the you know, you know what I'm saying. So like
some one motherfucker like won't you know, cow, but but
won't eat you know, pig small intestines. Yeah, so it's
so you don't you would still eat it though. I
here's what I'm thing is with the cow. But it's

(27:24):
reached the end of the road, do you know what
I mean? Like it's been as much filtering as can
be filtered. That's when it hits the butt. But if
you're eating the intestine, you're getting all the ship that
your body is like still trying to figure out how
to process. So for me, it's all the same. And
I would prefer just to to be able to enjoy
the thing rather than feel this pressure to like try

(27:46):
to to nail down the source and whether or not
this is correct or fairer we should be eating this
or shouldn't be. It's like, if you like the ship,
just put it in your mouth. I don't know. You
just want to enjoy the ship. You enjoy exactly, Okay.
I respect that, man, I respect that point. You know
you're just like, so, I'm working on this whole. I
want to do a documentary about this. But back in

(28:08):
the nineties, you know, you got the same generation, Like
the FDA approved a bunch of food when we were
kids that basically, you know, would never be approved today,
Green catch Up, like you know, Nickelodeon, Fiend candy and
like foods that we condiments that we ate was terrible,
like we should yeah then by now right, And like

(28:29):
if you look back at the ship with like gusher's
sucking all that terrible ship, your food is not supposed
to glow in the dark. It just that's not how
this works. Do you remember they told us a yellow
five and Mountain Dude shrinking dick. Absolutely, we did an
episode with Hannibal about about that. Specifically, that was the

(28:50):
first one I've ever come across. And if you drank mountain. Dude,
you got a little dick, but like the just how
can you trust the government when they're like, you know,
literally like houtfully putting poison and like, you know, our food.
So that's what I'm of course, the cell phones tower,
it makes sense, you know, That's where it kind of

(29:11):
comes from. Like at this point, at this point, why
wouldn't it be true. Well, let's let's unpack some of
this research because I I hope that this is going
to at least be clarifying for you. I don't mean
to swear you in any direction. I'm actually excited that
you're so bought in. But let's see what this does
for you. So this actually is a decades old thing.

(29:31):
That this is not as you said, you saw this
when you were a kid, which I didn't realize. I
thought this was a more contemporary thing. But the it
was initially started to reduce the towers aesthetic impact on
the landscape. Basically, they were saying that like, these big, old,
ugly towers are making our neighborhoods look worse, so we
will make them look like trees so that they subsequently

(29:54):
do not make our neighborhoods look worse and There's no
official data about exactly how many trees exists currently, but
in a company called Merging estimated that there was somewhere
between one thousand and two thousand nationwide, and the company's
Stealth Concealment, which is the company responsible for tritifying these

(30:16):
cell phone towers, says that it builds about three hundred
and fifty new quote unquote trees every year, So there
there are a lot of these. Motherfucker's. God, it's crazy
because we've they're more concerned with making these cellphone towers
look pretty than just not cutting down actual trees. Yes,
growing more trees that actually would benefit our ore fucking globe,

(30:41):
you know what I mean. So that's crazy. Other than that,
like it's so weird. I thought this was maybe an older,
an older issue, right, like me, how long the cellphone
has been around, you know. So apparently in the eighties,
that's when they first started playing with this idea, right that,
Like they they pretty immediately jumped into trying to to

(31:05):
make these fake trees happening. It actually was originally prompted.
This idea was actually originally prompted from the nineteen fifties
and sixties, where Canadian Electric Utility built hundreds of entirely
fake houses throughout Toronto to constial their substations. So basically,

(31:26):
they were making fake houses in the city so that
they could do some some electric ship inside of these
spaces and not have the public walking past and being like,
what does that ship or what's that ugly thing over there?
And so that got me thinking, right, because my conspiratorial
or whatever turns on when I hear ship like that,

(31:47):
where it's like, maybe all of this stuff is a
red herring, right that like cell phone towers aside, maybe
there's a very real possibility that all these like fake
how like these empty houses and black neighborhoods, all these
vacants that get left behind are being filled with all
kinds of fux shit that they they just unleashed on

(32:09):
us periodically throughout the year. Why the fuck not? Right, Yes,
in Baltimore, I mean, you know, the Philly, I mean everywhere,
they're like vacant, They're vacant town homes where like some
of the worst ship happens. You know, we can get
into later, but I'm pissed because the priorities are skewed, Right,

(32:29):
they build fake trees to make neighborhoods look pretty not
real trees, right, they we have a homeless issue, right,
Let's make some fake houses where we can continue to
apiece the technology for people who can afford it. Right,
important neighborhoods thought this doesn't happen, And neighborhoods that you

(32:49):
know like that actually like can afford this ship. You
know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, it's truly. What's even
crazier is you're using these fake houses to provide resources
for the wealthy neighbors. Yes, these people, yes, yes, that's
the fucking problem. It's like you know this enfranchised neighborhoods.

(33:10):
The poor neighborhoods are just fucking hamster cages man where
you know, you know what I'm saying, Like they're just
for experimenting, you know what I mean, that's for let's
see how they react to this. Let's see if it
Because we don't want to We don't want to make
the rich people, the people who pay our bills, you
know what I'm saying, Like, we don't make we don't
make them sick. We don't want to admit this into

(33:30):
their brains. But fuck them right, It's just like I
knew it I knew, like I was like, because as
we do comedy and ship like you know, in different
types of places. You know what I'm saying. You travel enough,
you go to this neighborhood versus that neighborhood, and you
see the you see what the priorities are, right, and

(33:51):
rich neighborhoods that the priority are the people and the
poor neighborhood their priority is there with the money and
there and then working there, you know what I'm saying,
like working twelve Like they're just treat it differently, man,
and I you see it like you see it when
you read these studies like this ship, it's a I
fucking I'm like, I didn't know that. Yeah. So here's

(34:13):
where it gets even more interesting is that for a
while they were able to build these things sort of
like very sparingly, right Like in the beginning, they sort
of had to be very considerate of the cities and
the towns and what they they would accept off of
the governments and or companies that they were trying to

(34:34):
build this ship. You know that we're trying to build
this ship. But then at one point the Telecommunications Act
of they that basically that introduced a loosening of the
restrictions for for municipalities and their ability to block the towers,
meaning that like after ninety six, it became easier for

(34:57):
these companies to say, no, we're just gonna build wherever
we want, and so that the increase of the trees
more came as a compromise where they said, yo, for
the suburban neighborhoods specifically, we get it. This doesn't make
your neighborhood look good. Will make these trees look like

(35:17):
something sexy rather than just something harsh. So it sort
of becomes a complicated thing in relation to your thing,
because now we know that they can build wherever. But
the trees specifically were actually meant to appease a wealthier
sort of like more affluent group of people. If that
makes that's crazy. So that's what they say, at least,

(35:43):
I mean they have to say that, right, Yeah, that's
another conspir's the article. Who's writing that makes sense to? Like,
I mean, if if you, if you were to, those
are the people I want to complain about this gigantic
cell phone tower in the middle of the neighborhood. Right

(36:03):
there are the you know, the people who can get
things actually done. Yeah, Yeah, the people that get listened to.
That makes so much sense. I guess if you go
into more of a poor neighborhood or whatever, you know,
how often do they get listened to? But also how
often do they care? You know what I'm saying, Like
when you're working when I when I was working at
quiz Nos, Like I remember, you were busted. You know,

(36:27):
people got kids, and people just honestly just feel like
this is this is the end of the road. Man.
Why complain about the cell phone? Well that's that's the
crazy part, right is like truly this this act happened
with people that were complaining about the cell phone towers.
So once that act goes into place and people are
now you know, nine everybody didn't have a cell phone,

(36:50):
but now literally every human being, including people that are
own housed, have cell phones. And so that means that
like they have less and less reason to be like
listening to some person who's like, you're making my neighborhood
not pretty, you know what I mean. It's it's truly there.
There there's no incentive here. Now here's where it does
I think to support the possibility that this was in

(37:14):
fact more for the beautification or at least maintenance of
wealthy neighborhoods. Is that I looked up how expensive these
things are, and apparently it is an extremely expensive endeavor.
Even though these these trees look like ship like you said,
they look like fucking legos, and they do not blend
in well. And part of the reason they don't blend
in well is because in order for the cell towers

(37:37):
to be effective, they have to basically make them much
larger than everything around them. Right, they can't be the
same size as the trees around them, so they have
to be obnoxiously large. And they also they cost a
ship time. It actually costs somewhere in the range of
a hundred thousands to a hundred and fifty thousand dollars

(37:59):
to beautify a cell phone tower, not just to make
the cellphone tower, but to add all like the fake
acrylic bark in a phili brank, acrylic branches, and ship
that caust a hundred and fifty grand Dude, you know
how many fifth grades can do that? Tuesday? Like give
that project to a grade school man, give us, give

(38:21):
it to some prisoners, like whoever like to spend money
on that project? Like what? Like I love, I love
that your solution is, Come on, man, child labor exists.
Let's let's let's get these little kids working on our
cell phone towers. If you're going to do child labor,
do it right. Let's get these cells up with all

(38:42):
these gym shoes. I mean, let's not act like no
more sneakers, haven't got enough ship. It's these cell phones
dollars of my priority right now. Get these ugly cellphone
towers out of here dollars. But they don't even look
like it caused that, Like that's what's crazy. They don't

(39:04):
even look like like, Okay, if you're gonna do it,
don't do a tree. Maybe do a I don't know,
like anything else, like what I don't know, a fucking
monument or a Yeah, it make it mean something, but
like when you do the true thing, it just and
then you think like you're trying to have something. Yes,

(39:24):
it's very condescending in a way that that they don't acknowledge,
you know what I mean. It's like you're fucking you're
spitting in my face. I'm stupid up, I know what
the fun that was, right, It's like, damn, that tree

(39:50):
is spiky. What's up with that tree? It's like, I'm
not stupid. I know that that's not a tree, So
talk to me about give me something. Make it that
big ass cowboy they got in Texas, you know what
I mean, like big yeah, yea, yeah, I agree, I
truly agree. I mean, you know, there's something I think
more useful for that power that that's not a tree.

(40:13):
Like it could be a message. It could be there
already a message on the cellphone tower, but like something
you know what I mean. But like, yeah, big tree
doesn't do anything for anybody. Is there something that can
actually do? You know what I mean? Cigarette warning? Just
something like I mean, make it to a big cigarette,
like it'd be like put an excellent who knows, perfect idea?

(40:34):
But um, I'm more I'm actually more concerned about what
does it admit? Like what does the tower? What does it?
What are the dangers of it? I'm glad, I'm glad
you asked that. That's a perfect transition for us to
go into break. We're gonna take one more break, we'll
be back and I have answers for as. We're gonna

(40:57):
be back with more, Jermain more my mom would told me.
And we are back. No, no, no, yeah, we're back

(41:25):
here were more Jermaine valor more. My mama told me,
we're still talking about the possibility that these trees, these
fake trees that are being put in neighborhoods, are in
fact poisoning black brains and causing us to be more
violent to each other in our own communities. I left
you on a cliffhanger. I sort of made you, uh

(41:47):
reach out for for a little bit of rope, and
I said, no, no, no, you'll get this rope when
I'm ready cut and and I'm ready to give you
a little bit of the rope that that I found.
So what I found is that it the suggestion at
least and when you look this stuff up about whether
or not cell phone towers are in fact poisoning our
brains or doing it if there are any negative effects,

(42:10):
let's start there. Relating to cell phone towers, it is
sort of a mixed review, right that, like you read
things that are sort of from like very legitimate spaces.
They say that there is no clear cause of health
concerns from cell phone towers, and they're very specific in

(42:31):
that language. Your main and I see your face because
you're you're hearing what I already here clear cause of
health concerns from these cell phone towers. What they also
acknowledge is that the cell phone towers do emit, a
type of radiation that if you are over exposed to
it can potentially lead to health risks. So you see

(42:56):
the game that they're playing, they're doing the pr thing.
You know that you do that the lawyer wrote that,
I'm sure, so let's yes, that's lawyers speak. So they
basically said, uh, there's a possibility that over time, with
enough exposure, that could be a possible blah blah blah. Yeah, stupid.
They've been built since the eighties, right, mean people are

(43:19):
being affected by it? Then, well, and and that's also
the way that they played the game is they go, well,
we technically don't have enough of a data pool, you know,
because the eighties, while it's a long time ago, it's
not like the length of humanity for us to know
what is a direct cause versus other associative causes for

(43:41):
like cancers and and reactions that we have. So they go, well,
we don't know enough to know for sure. Of course,
they don't know enough because we'll do an internal study
for it, because it would ruin everything that they've built
literally right, Oh, they don't. They don't know. Of course,
they don't have any studies. They don't want to do

(44:02):
the studies because it would it would implement them, you
know what I mean, implicate them, implement I don't implicate,
implicate you implicate right, cool, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking mad. Uh,
I'm pissed. Math like, yeah, this is just sad. They
just walk around the actual issue and they know what
the issues is like. So, so one of the things

(44:27):
that I read recommended that distance from these towers is
roughly a safe distance from these towers. It's roughly twenty
five to ensure any signs. No, And that's the crazy
part is like that that basically, if you're living within

(44:47):
like a twenty five ft radius inside of this, you
are probably in a radius set leads to a potential
over exposure. Fun. Uh no, no, no, I'm not you
like not you No, no, no, I'm I'm so excited,
go crazy. This is the thing, Like, they don't you
can you can touch that ship if you want it to. Yes,

(45:09):
if I see my pull us, of course you of
course they can say yeah, but no, one, there's no,
there's no guard or barrier or anything or sucking cell
phone guard guy or security guard was like, hey, hey,
come on, brother, over there like that. No one's doing that. So,

(45:30):
oh my god, I don't even know this. I'm thirty three.
I've been doing I've been hanging on that motherfucker's was fourteen.
This is crazy. And that's until your point. The idea
of you beautifying the thing is more instensive for me
to go near it. If you leave it as a giant, harsh,

(45:51):
metal object, I feel less want to be near it. Yeah, inclined,
But what if you make it look like a goddamn tree.
I'm I'm gonna go closer and figure out if that's
a goddamn tree. I'm gonna climb it. I'm gonna I'm
gonna try to kids do. That's what kids do. That's
what like, why would you want to do? You want

(46:12):
to find something that's poisonous, It's it's surely wild. And
so one of the things that they that I also
thought about, is like, who is regulating to your point,
who's regulating our proximity to these things? And how many
people in urban arry areas are actually living away twenty

(46:33):
five ft away and even if you are more than
twenty five ft away, what does thirty five feet do?
Like you know what I mean? Like, what is what
is forty eight feet do? Yeah, it's it's not that
it's not that the radiation completely dissipates at that point.
It's just less weaker. Yeah, look, it's weaker. But the

(46:56):
thing is, like, like they said, over a time, it
could still have an effec right, that's right. I've had
numerous family members who died of cancer, right, Um, one
of my great aunts at brain cancer, one of my
uncle's I think at brain cancer too. I don't know right,
like I but god, damn, you know what I'm saying, Like, yes,
and I think I think to that point, that's the

(47:19):
the approach that I always feel with these things. It's
like I don't read this and then go definitively, you
are poisoning us. This is fact. It's more that come on, dog,
if this information exists, then you know that there is
a possibility and there is this this chance that twenty
years down the line, we're gonna have a different conversation

(47:40):
where you go, hey man, y'all gotta move because we've
been fucking you up this whole time. We've been beating
your brain's ass with fucking radio waves. Dude. All all
I do is like I ask why, and I look
at patterns, right, the amount of the people who and
who that I know who are getting sick and and
dye at early ages? Right? Who lived near these towers? Right?

(48:04):
And I I gotta feel that way, like I have to.
I have to look at I have to look at like,
you know, just like what is the difference in this
neighborhood then the other ones that don't? I don't really
have the same resources as as the other ones, you
know what I'm saying. So I do wonder in the
suburban neighborhoods, what are the you know, what what are

(48:26):
the cancer like statistics? And people even looked into that, like,
you know, if there are just like Chernobyl, like you know,
are there more people who get cancer you know, near
these homes near this tower versus people don't. It would
be a great study. But no one. I'm sure I'm
going to get assassinated like my play, I'll see, Michael,

(48:48):
I love my play like I don't. I don't want
to be that dude. I don't want to die mysteriously
in my car in the highway because Jermaine, man, he
had problems. Man, it's like Jermaine didn't do drugs. I
got a like, no, I don't want to be that,

(49:12):
Like I always think about that ship too, Like whenever
you start to like start to investigate, like a huge
corporation who have powerful people, Yeah, my funker's always end
up with a need on their arm just staring off.
And then my book has never never had those those
problems before. In the middle of the night, like yeah,
it's like no, Jermaine was in on deep cell phone

(49:34):
and uh and they had to put them down. Yeah,
so that's why I stopped. That's why I stopped. I'm
just like, all, you know, it's thrown. That's it. I
ain't ain't going any deeper. So to that, I did
want to look up what the overexposure actually does because
specifically to your conspiracy theory violence since that I think

(49:56):
a really interesting take on it. Right, Like I've heard,
I've heard cancer causing, I've heard sort of like health risks,
but the mental reaction, the sort of like us that
that reaction I had never heard, and so I wanted
to look up the possible reactions and apparently over exposure
to these radiations, the RF and e m F radiations.

(50:20):
These symptoms can include everything that affects your vision, like
difficulty and seeing, smarting, pain from your eyes, blurred vision,
things like that. That's why, that's that's that's the worst.
I'm sorry, go ahead, no, no, it's very real. It
might be why why are you killing a little kidders?

(50:43):
Were you able for one? Dude? I'm sorry, go ahead,
You're sucking up our vision. So it also in that
same sense, it can affect your motor skills, your trunk, limb,
joint aches, pain, numbness, weakness. It can also affect your
sensory skills, meaning it can cause a tickling, prickling, or
burning sensation throughout your body. There is also the things

(51:05):
that affect your brain. There it can cause tremors, faintness, dizziness,
sleep problems, headaches, and abnormalities in terms of your sleep.
And then, most importantly, and this connects, I think directly
to your conspiracy theory. Overexposure to these radiations can cause
short and long term memory impairment, lack of concentration, difficulty

(51:26):
learning new things, irritability, anxiety, stress, and extreme mood changes.
So niggas bugging out as the result of overexposure is
not nearly as insane as it sounds on its on
its surface. I mean, let's look at it, right, All
the beginning symptoms sound just like here. I would be

(51:49):
so irritable number one, right, sleeping, my body, itchy, I
can't see, I can't see that good. I got the
not even a little uh metamorpheus glasses are helping. Um,
I would be I don't want to I don't want
to hurt somebody. Right next thing, you know, then you
talk about the moose wings man, and it all kind

(52:14):
of is making sense to me, right, and it's it's
it's not just like again, like I think about the
neighborhoods and like the amount of crime America has in
general with you know, the recent shooting I think in
the Bay and damn like this, Like it's it's like
every week someone's snapping, yeah they live next to her

(52:35):
cell phone to sponsible Columbine kids live next to a
cell phone that the DC sniper live next to her
cell phones. I don't know, I'm just saying. And that's
and that's what makes these things so frustrating, right, is
that the government and these companies are doing so much
function in so many different directions at all times that

(52:59):
I don't know if my irritability is cell phone tower
ship or if it's high fructoset corn sir ship, you
know what I mean, Or if it's if it's a
poor education, or if it's if it's that my my
fucking you know neighborhood has zero trees in it period.
Like it's all these things that are stacking on top

(53:21):
of each other. That sure, it sounds crazy and conspiratorial
to be like the DC snacker only killed them people
because his brain was fried from them cell phone towers.
And then it's like, how in how many ways did
the government fry his brain in in other directions? That
makes it at least possible for us to consider that

(53:41):
how many gushes did he eat? You know? Right, you're right? Actually,
because the amount of times the government will like, okay,
something like yeah, you can have trans fat. You know,
back in the early nineties and eighties, all we ate
was transpat you know, McDonald's and burger King all that stuff.
Next the next decade, what they say, it's like, you

(54:04):
can't tell me it's fine, and then say it's not fine.
You killed me already. You already killed me, man, Like
you can't just say the cell phone years. I'll be like, no,
you gotta move. I guarantee you, like I promise you man,

(54:25):
it's yeah. And then you think about, like, even even
if they don't do that, right, Like, even if they
don't go move for the cell phone towers, they've been
killing you the whole time. What they secretly, I believe
they do is they improve the technology over time, so
the cell phone towers that used to kill us maybe
don't kill us quite as quickly anymore or as effectively

(54:48):
as they did in the past. They don't announce that.
They don't go like, yo, we used to kill you,
but we don't kill you no more. They just go,
we are advancing our technology, and you are gonna really
love all the cool changes we've made. Six g you
don't love it. I wonder, though, how do they know
it's advanced. Do they take in like do they do

(55:09):
a study with, you know, a little Montreil from they
take a little Montreil, you know, he's eating the bag
of wrap snacks, and they're like, all right, Montreil, we
gotta do m R On you all right? Cool? And
you know, how do they advanced? Right? I remember back
in the day they said, don't talk too much on
your cell phone because it'll it'll kill you, like ye

(55:31):
in your head, right, And now you can talk on
it all the time. But I wonder what has changed, right, Like,
what has changed? What wasn't it before that made it
not so advanced? Yes? What were they sacrificing to get
the thing made? You know, the fucking technology made versus
right now? I don't know. You know what these companies
and the government are constantly doing. It's like when Dominoes

(55:53):
came out and they were like, hey, y'all fix the recipe,
Papa Johnson different, they said, we took out the racist dude. Yeah,
but it's truly They're like, hey, hey, Dominoes, the new Dominoes,
you don't love it, We get it, We get it
that la Dominoes you were bugging and you're like, what
was different with the other? Yeah? What you put in

(56:15):
the other Dominoes? Because I don't like that that. I
ate Dominoes every week now knowing and you hated what
you're us, Like, what was the problem? We got fresher
and greens? Yes, I thought it was what was food that?

(56:36):
What's the food? Now they're like, fine, fine, you asked
for it, will use tomatoes this time. It's like whoa, whoa,
I thought I love that all right, fucking complaining enough
ship when we picked some actual tomato, hot fucking babies.
What do you want from us, dude? I'm saying something

(56:57):
two things. Right. When I was younger, McDonald's fries just
tastes way different. Right, you remember they tasted like fire,
They were just they were memorable, fun. I remember the taste.
Now they're a little different, and I think it might
be the fat stuff. Who knows, Maybe the grease is different.
I have no idea. Maybe the salt content is different.

(57:17):
I have no idea. But it tastes way better. And
now these commercials of McDonald's of just like you know,
white farmer walking down looking at the potatoes and like
he actually picked them, like they didn't have a team
to help, like just didn't buy him something like there's

(57:41):
no farmer who doesn't buy himselfing now not at all.
So now the commercials are like fresh and it's like, okay, okay,
why now, right, I get it. People want to eat
more organic. You know stuff. You know what I'm saying.
People want to get ahead of that because it's a
trend to be held me now, right, But so it

(58:01):
was okay for you to not do it and serve
basically sand paper and cardboard and pink mush to us,
which is still it's still pink. It's just like the
audacity and like, wow, they didn't care at all, like that,
not at all, the big care and truthfully to your
to your your point a second ago. Their only incentive

(58:23):
to care even now is more about a a want
from the from the consumer to say, like, yo, I'll
spend extra money to make sure my food is fresh.
So yeah, now we'll tell you it's fresh. I don't
know if that's what you want to hear. The board
meetings though, Like the board meetings, they're just sitting there,
like you know, people like food. Now. I don't know

(58:46):
what the fund happened. I used to I thought they
loves don't know all right, Well if they wanted, if
they wanted fresh wood, we'll get a tomato in it.
I don't know. I went to Atlanta, right, and I
got my little Coca Cola shorts on and uh, my
friend works for him well, I can't say who, but

(59:07):
she works for Coca Cola and their board meetings are
they're always frustrated with how they can because no one
drinks soda no more, Like it's just it's it's dead,
like it's a rising brand anymore. But they do sell.
I went to UH, I did a show in Jersey,
and so I go to the you know, I went
to uh, you know bodega and they still got santas

(59:29):
and like fucking Hawaiian punches and speakies because that that
people still it's cheap, you know what I mean, it's
still sell them there or whatever. But they get they
want to they don't. They want to make more money,
and they get confused because they're like, well, how do
we make cocaola? How do we make coca cola essentially healthy?
And you can't. So this is like then like like

(59:53):
some of my friends, like in the in the meeting,
they were like, how do we get these young kids
to drink cocacola again? And she went, you ain't ever
gonna get these motherfucker's drinking. It's like it's I will
never ever put that ship in my body ever again. Ever. No,
it's it's it's I mean even my dad for years
was like a big diet coke dude. That was his

(01:00:14):
ship was he he would buy diet cokes and his
doctor at one point because he was drinking like six
seven of them a day type thing of the little cans.
And this doctor at one point was like, hey, man, uh,
aspertain is worse for you than than the other stuff,
Like you would you would do better just doing the

(01:00:34):
corn syrup than drinking whatever. This chemical is constantly looking
down that way. It's a fact. So when they tell
you something sugar free or a diet, they'll take out
the sugar but in a flavor like dextros or or
you know, aspert whatever the fuck aspertain is is. Whatever aspertain,

(01:00:55):
they'll replace it with another like poison. You know, Yes,
that's what they'll do. So I have a friend who's
on a diet and she'd be like, I'm like, uh,
you know, you know, what's your diet? You know, I
you know, I I fish and uh you know, I
try to ease up on cars that coke And I'm like, wait,
what that coke? I love that? You know, You're still

(01:01:16):
that's still like poison, Like it's still that's the worst
one dog. Yeah, it's like no one Like it's like
people who only if you smoke cigarettes and you're trying
to like you only smoke two cigarettes today, you know
what I'm saying, Like soda, it's still terrible for you. Right,
But for some reason they've marketed as like how do
they get away with it? Like, oh, this is not regular,

(01:01:42):
it's healthy. How did that happen? But to your point,
I think that the real way that they get away
with all this ship is because we still want it.
As long as we still want it, they're going to
be able to just give us the ship. They're gonna
be able to turn our cell phone towers into tree
like don't play football, you're a little bit. I don't

(01:02:03):
know whether you used to us your stuff on towers
still go a little You need it, need it. You
at you dreaming, dream of your dreams. You won't make it.
It'll be c t e or break. It sucks. Damn man.

(01:02:24):
Well this is like it's ropped me up. But I
try to move my cousins out. Well, I just I'm
grateful you did this with me. I'm sorry that we
left on such a disappointing revelation. But but Jermain, could
you tell the people at home where they could find
you in? What cool ship you have going on? Man,
I can find me at yourself found towers. Man. They

(01:02:48):
look information is like knowing it is important. So now
that I know, I'll see what I can do with
that information and try to do something about it. I'm
not joking either, so um, y'all can find me. I
guess leaving social media, so I don't like it, but
you can catch me in a couple of films that
got coming up. There's a movie called The Blackenness that
will be out hopefully later this year. Yeah, it's a

(01:03:10):
movie called n I Okay that'll be an HBO Max.
I don't have any dates yet. And a movie at
Tribeca that I'm doing or just finished filming that will
be around I think, um sometime this summer. I don't
have any date check, but you'll definitely hear about it
when they're ready to get you know, come out and
you know be released. So well, ship, don't follow your
main he's leaving social media, but you better go watch

(01:03:30):
all of those movies when they come out, and there's
always you can follow me at Lankston Kerman on all
social media platforms. I'll never leave you. I'm sick and uh.
You can subscribe to the podcast, right reviews, do whatever
it is you're supposed to do. I don't know anymore.
It's all meaningless. Okay, bye, bitch assist. They also players

(01:04:04):
posting money versions of any attorney stuff I can't tell
me about my
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