April 5, 2022 • 50 mins
Does sex in the day time give you albino kids? Langston and his guest Ify Nwadiwe (NBC's Grand Crew) absorb this outrageous conspiracy theory and dissect Albinism in Africa.
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
See, I'll say this, I love mayonnaise, and undercover Brother
didn't shake me for a second, and if anything, it
made me feel more confident. Was like, Nigga, you're doing something.
These other niggas can't. They don't know what they don't
know about this ship. You're like, Jesse, Oh here, keep going, motherfucker. Yeah,
they're just gonna change the name to a Oli and
(00:24):
then Nick's gonna foke with Mannaids. But it's still Mannaise.
That's still Mannaids. They just added some spicy do fall
for it chips in yours a racists money stuff. I
(00:52):
can't tell me bang bang bang skeek skeet skak. Yep,
there it is, there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the
podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets of
black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove that
(01:14):
facts Domino and Chubby Checker existing in the same universe
is proof that all of this is a very, very
silly simulation. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The problem with
the argument about the matrix is that they didn't address
how funny the matrix is. Whoever invented the matrix is
fucking hilarious. You made two fat boys named themselves after
(01:36):
game pieces. That's that's amazing, and we should celebrate the
matrix rather than running from it. Fuck you, Neo. I'm
staying in this bitch, if it's gonna be this goddamn funny.
I'm your host, Nankston common as always coming in hot baby,
You know how I do. I don't never come in regular.
And I could come in like a decent human being
one of these days and just say hello everyone. Nice,
(01:57):
Nice to have you here with us, so that we
could talk about black stuff. But nope, I say mean
things about I presume them too, dead men. I can't.
I can't say for sure, but I have to assume
that both of those fellas are dead, and uh and
I miss them, dearly Chubby. That's You'll be in my
heart as always. Do you know who who's also in
(02:17):
my heart and and ain't dead? He ain't dead? Is
it's my guest today. He's so funny. You know him
from from a lot of just amazing funny ship especially
most importantly, you know him from from the show Grand Crew,
where he writes he's he's on camera, he does all
the ship and he's so talented and you're gonna love him.
(02:38):
Please give it up from my guests, Mr IFFI, why
the ways? Hey, I almost kind of wish that I
do die, like between when we record this and when
it comes out, because because I also, do you ever
think about that? You're like, if I die, are the
people who I did podcast, what's still gonna release that episode?
(03:00):
Are they gonna do like a somber preamble where they're like,
you know the thing is I think what they do
is you save that episode and then you like get
you do a different intro, you make it real, like, wof,
I'm coming to you quieter this time. So because this one, yeah,
we were laughing about dead people, but this is one
(03:20):
actually features a dead man. So so I'm gonna whisper
is intro. Yeah, because that's how you know something sad
in podcast is when the voice gets real low and
oh if they're whisk yeah, see the thing that happened
this week. He was on the pod shortly after. If
(03:41):
we could get serious for I know we do some
sillies around here, but but but we actually miss them
very much. Rest in peace, you know, Condolen Stewart family
and all the anime figures after the right, you gotta
do it? Can add you wouldn't you do all these
(04:02):
sad things? And then you throw to an ad for
for Mayonnais. I believe that's I can't be sure anymore,
but I believe that this podcast is still being supported
by Mayonnaise. So shout out to Mayonnaise for for being like,
we're going to break the color line. We're not gonna
keep letting black people say they don't eat Mayonnai's. We're
(04:24):
going to force it down your thropes via this this
pretty black podcast. Okay, we can't talk about Mayonnaid's all
day because you came, and I couldn't be more excited
for the conspiracy theory that you offered up. Truly, it's
been a long time since I've crossed one that that
I it never even crossed my mind. It it never,
(04:47):
It couldn't have hit my radar anywhere. But you said,
my mama told me the sex of the daytime gives
you a vinal cance. Yeah, yeah, this is this. This
one was a fun one because I was I was
trying to think of something fun to go over and
(05:09):
it's something that people might not have heard before. And
this is funny because my mama told me that, but
it's something my dad said. So my dad's from Nigeria. Um,
I'm Nigerian American. And she was talking about, you know,
all the differences they had because I was just like,
you know, you you're from Louisiana and he's from Nigeria.
There definitely and she was like yeah. She was like
(05:29):
he would do like a lot of weird things, and
he was like, yeah, he never wanted to have sex
in the daytime because he said, that's how you have
albino kids. So he's just depriving himself day's x at
the possibility that one of his kids might come out
out bind. That's how you know, they didn't have day
(05:50):
parties like that back in the day. That was that
was before brunch culture. Because because I come back, that
suited all. There wasn't a uh, There wasn't a fucking
uh what's the them ship's called the what's the orange do? Mimosis?
There wasn't a mimosis in sight anywhere in Nigeria. They
could They're like, we have to mimosis because we'll be
(06:11):
overrun by albino kids and we don't want that. So
he says this to your mom, and then your mom
repeats it to you. Yeah, I'm curious to know. Was'
she repeating it like, hey, by the way, this is
something I learned from your dad and I want to
pass it down to you. Or was she like this
man is nuts. Yeah, it was definitely that the the
(06:34):
the ladder where she because you know, she was a nurse.
So she's like, no, I that makes no sense, Like
I know the science here, you can You're not gonna
pull one over on me. Uh, this is And if
the funny part is if I brought this up to
my dad, he's gonna deny it till till the cows
come home, like he oh yeah, no, my my dad will.
(06:57):
One of the things he will admit is like in Nigeria,
you know, it's like totally normal for ment to hold hands.
And he said when he came out here, you know,
he was trying to he was he was walking down
the street with his homie and he tried to hold
his hands like it's like they don't do that out here. Wait.
(07:19):
I have so many questions because because I totally understand
in a culture where you guys are sort of like
doing that together, it makes perfect sense right where you go, like, yo,
you're my friend, and we both grew up the same way,
so we just naturally find ourselves holding hands. But if
you're walking with someone and they're not, their instinct isn't
(07:42):
to reach for your hands, yea, What is it that
makes you go, I need to hold this nigga's hand?
I think, I think I gotta Like he was crossing
the street and it was that natural, like, come on,
let's let's let's cross the street together. He was like
he was like, na, we don't do that that. And
the second thing is, you know, it's hot as hell
and after cut, and so they were powdering their faces,
you know, so they wouldn't sweat, you know, just the
(08:04):
same way we put on baby powder, but like they
would carry like the little compact. And my dad started
doing it. His homeboard was like, Nah, they don't do
that out here. I was like, my dad must have
been like, this world is nuts. What are y'all doing?
If if you're not holding hands and you're not powdering
(08:26):
your face, how does a man be a man? You know?
How does just a good strong man, be a man
if he can't hold his friends saying and then and
then powder his nose. Yeah, he's like he's like, he's like, man,
what happened to real men? You know America? Real powdered
man up? Oh? I would I wouldn't give to to
(08:50):
just be a fly on the wall watching your dad
discover American tradition. Yeah, you know what I mean. I
guess the sort of like the anti Nigerian traditions that
America sort of representsive like everything he does where there's
just a dude being like, no, brother, hold on, you
(09:11):
can't do that. You can't we don't do that. I
don't know what y'all doing in Nigeria, but that ship
and then he just gotta go home with a notebook
and be like, okay, another thing marked off the list
that I we don't do apparently out here. How much
do you think it affects the male black culture the
(09:34):
current time? If we all just started holding hands, like
when Nick is getting less or more fights, here's the thing,
I think we would get in less fights. I think
White America would fucking melt down. Like I think the
entire idea that like we had reached that level of
harmony where niggas are just walking and holding hands would
(09:57):
destroy whiteness at its core. Yeah. No, I could just see,
like you know, Mitch McConnell's like neck jiggling and angry
grows another gel it just he fully would turn into
that dinosaur in Jurassic Park with the the spread it.
You know, I don't think that white America could handle
(10:18):
that level of harmony, and and truly I think it would. Yeah,
it's it's because they've worked so hard to force Christianity
down our throats and to to sort of like trick
us into thinking that America had had reached a level
of civility that we, these ignorant black people couldn't reach
and then we're just powdering our noses and holding hands.
(10:41):
Oh my god, they they would lose it. Don't look.
We we don't have time to just go down the
wormhole that I have such a disdain about civility, and
you know, we were forced to to to hear it
all week. I mean, I don't know when this is
gonna drop it. This past week we did the conversation
of civility and what it means and all. But to me,
that's the biggest scam. You had a these large group
(11:04):
of white people rape and village countries back to back,
and then once they're in power, they're like, you can't
do it back to us because that beat. Yeah, come on, yeah,
come on. Aren't we trying to be regular? You're gonna
you're gonna try to us after we came. When I
raped your great grandmother, I said, no hit back. Okay,
So it'd be real weird if you dethroned us. So
(11:30):
it's like, you get out of here. Yeah, no. I
this week, I think, yes, it very much was a
lot of here's what frustrated me about this week. And
I won't spend too much time on the Will Smith
Chris rock of it all. Although this comes out, this
comes out next Tuesday, so it's not like we're gonna
be to day to days. But what I will say,
(11:50):
as just a viewer in the entire experiences, that was
the funniest thing that should have happened in the night.
It surely was a miracle of comedy that a a
billionaire went up and slept a man in the face
for making fun of his wife on television. And it
(12:11):
it was so funny and then that quickly got derailed
by everybody seeking justice for rich people. Yeah, and that's
you nailed it a thousand percent. You like because I
showed it to I was at a show with Greg
Edwards and I showed it to him and we were
(12:31):
we it was we couldn't stop laughing. We couldn't. We
were like, and we're doing a show where we're doing
specific pandemic jokes or Brandy Posey's album, so like no
one could talk about it on stage, so all we
couldn't do is talk about it and then like to
get home and see all these think pieces, and I
think once and once again, I like. The thing about
(12:53):
it too is like and you same thing. Like we
grew up in a world where niggas will get into
our try and beat each other to death. One would lose.
They shake hands and you keep kicking it. So like
to me, I'm like, yeah, you slapped him, But like
life moves on, but everybody wants to focus on the
I'm like, they're not even thinking about it right now.
They're mad about it. I know, Chris Rock, you know,
(13:15):
the male ego is tough. I know he's still mad
about it. You probably have that fucking but beyond that,
they're straight. So why Chris Rock loves loves to pace?
That man is pacing, uh, and not in the way
(13:35):
that he likes to pace. He's facing in a different
way than he likes to pace. Now, Yo, So yeah,
no I I feel I feel that, No I. And obviously, yeah,
let's be responsible. Obviously there there were right decisions and
wrong decisions made. Obviously there are there are moments inside
of this that that we're clearly mishandled by all parties.
(13:59):
But the point is is, let the ship be fucking
funny for the nights that it's funny, and then we
can get into responsibility and politics and all the other
ship that people are trying to add to the conversation. Yeah,
let's last, Yeah, let's la let's can we do that
before we go to break because we we've derailed ourselves
(14:20):
so much that we've barely even touched the conversation at hand.
Your mother tells you this, she tells you, this is
a silly thing that your dad believes. Do you does
any part of you consider it? Do you ever go
like nah, I mean I get it. You a nurse
and you know Dad's he maybe he's a silly man sometimes,
but maybe there's a level of truth to this that
(14:42):
we're not considering. No, this is the one thing. And
I say that as someone who like there's a lot
of like you know, kind of like spiritual aspects of
of like a lot of my African side that I'm like, Okay,
I feel that I see that energy. This not at all.
This definitely feels like we've never seen an albino person.
We need answers, and we're not going to think too
(15:06):
much about it right now, and we're just gonna be like,
this is what caused it. Yeah, it is a hard
thing to kind of settle into, you know what I mean,
Like you really got to make some massive leaps in
your in your line of thinking to get to that.
And and I think in that way, it truly is
you being like I think, to believe it, you have
(15:28):
to believe in your traditions and your community more than
you're even interested in exploring Google in any factoids that
it can offer to you. Well, that was the thing,
right is, Like, you know, our parents grew up in
the world before Google, and you know, like I imagine
at this point my dad was probably in as like thirties,
and you know, I'm in my thirties, and there's probably
(15:51):
some shift that is in the back of my head
that I've never tapped into the fact check that it
would come out. But I don't know. I feel like
I would that would be want to try and knock
down quick because I'm like, I'm really cutting down the
amount of times that could be fucking so hot. To
get to the bottom of this, I gotta treat I
(16:11):
gotta treating like Rama Doon all the time. Now, that's crazy.
That's why out all right, We're gonna be We're gonna
take a quick break. We'll be back with more if
you want the way. We'll be back with more, my
mama told me. And we are bad. Oh yes, Kenny,
(16:44):
lend the nigga a pencil. Yeah, we're back here with
more if you want the way more, my mama told me.
We're still talking about the possibility that having sex during
the daytime will produce albino children. And maybe maybe it's
true if he doesn't believe it, I frankly I don't
believe it either, But maybe we're wrong, do you know,
(17:05):
And I don't know if this is a problematic question,
but I'll ask it, do you know any albino people?
Have you? Well, there have comic that I'm sure we
both know. Sure, yeah, but beyond that, no, shout out
to him and sorry I didn't say your name, but
I did forget it in this moment. Victor is the
one I know. I assume that. Yeah, I think that's
you know as well. But yeah, they're they're they're rare.
(17:29):
They're rare. That's a it's a mew two of a Pokemon,
you know what I mean. But also to you, you
have folks who, um, it's it's what Michael Jackson said,
he had lago and then like they appear to be albino,
but it's like, no, they have videlago and they reached
that point. So yeah, and and to let's this, this
(17:52):
is probably a great transition into sort of like some
of this research just for our listeners at home who
may not be a hundred person and clear on what
albinism is, what an albino person's genetic condition is. Albanism
is a genetic condition that decreases the production of melanin
and results in fair skin complexion, light eyes, and light hair,
(18:15):
and increase susceptibility to various skin and eye conditions. They
are are extremely pale. Often their hair is often uh
similarly pale, and they have difficulty managing sunlight and being
in certain like high intense light conditions. And that a ligo,
(18:36):
on the other hand, is more a condition that hits
you later in life where your skin begins to transition
into a similar color of Albanism, But it doesn't necessarily
guarantee that you're going to have the same like eye
conditions and sort of health scares that uh an albino
person might experience. But that's all the facts. Now let's
(18:57):
get to the silly ship. Because I went to do
the research right on on whether or not fucking during
the daytime would produce an albino child, and I'll be honest,
I didn't expect to find very much, and to some
extent I was correct. There's there's not a lot of information,
(19:20):
if any, that I could find about this this piece
of information that your dad offered up. However, what I
did discover that I was extremely surprised by is how
much information there is about conspiracy theories relating to albino
people that they this is not an isolated conspiracy theory
(19:43):
in fact there are hundreds, literally hundreds of conspiracy theories
about albino people and what they might be. Oh, it's devastating,
you know. It's also you know, just the quick at Tangent.
I'm just curious of what your algorithm ads are looking like, Langston.
(20:05):
When you're looking up all these you injected in the
Q and on, I just know they Yeah, my algorithm
has been fucked for a long time. Man. One of
my one of the my favorite episodes that we did
in this was extremely early on in the podcast, was
trying to figure out if there was any evidence that
(20:26):
Sierra was intersex. Said whether or not she was, she
was born with male genitalia, and that sucked me right
from the start. You know, once you start looking up
ship like that, nothing nothing was the same. Like Drake said, yeah,
that was like a high school that I was like, yeah,
well we brought it back. Turns out it was coming
(20:49):
from an extremely hateful place of surprise. Surprise, just a
bunch of men who couldn't have sex with Sierra decided
to say her shoulders were too big and say some
awful ship on the internet. You know, you can always
count on black Man. We all did down we do
(21:13):
other stuff, all right. So this theory, or rather the
plethora of theories that I discovered, are all rooted in
a conspiracy theory related to to a lot of in
and this roots from a lot of African countries, but
quite a few African countries actually believe that albino people
(21:36):
have a type of supernatural power that brings a curse
to them and all of those who love them and
care about them. So that that's where where this roots from,
is that they believe every albino is cursed with magical
powers that ruin everybody's lives. I feel like that's like
(21:59):
the top level of being black and proud. Like you
are so black and so proud, but if you see
someone bro born from you that is not black, like
you have cursed us, you cursed sucking lineage, yeah, which
which you're not black, head ass. The crazy part about
(22:21):
that is is that albinism is a it's genetic, Like,
this isn't some random thing, This isn't something that you
can't predict. It truly can be traced through your genetic lineage.
And so in that way, this is a bunch of
people who who have had albino people in their lives
before this and then are cursing their fucking children and
(22:45):
their children, their children's children simply because they're doing what
their blood made them. Dive. At the end, at the
end of the day, it's your fault. Your jeans fucked
me up. Don't blame me for that ship. My favorite
thing is that it's it's all over Africa, right, Tanzania,
malwy Cameroon, Nigeria, obviously, Uh, it's it's made, it's reached there,
(23:09):
it's everywhere. And because of this super this super infamy,
we'll call that super infamy out. But I know people
are often killed in or mutilated and their body parts
are then sold as ingredients for making magical potions and defenses.
That's that's wild. Yeah, No, it's it's real sucky dog
(23:31):
like I I went into this being like this is
gonna be a fun, silly grab on on daytime sex.
And I was like, whoa, they're cutting out bino people's
arms off and then grinding them up to make like
potions and syrups and ship who all right, you know,
(23:53):
maybe we didn't need a little Jesus. Maybe we needed
a little Yeah, maybe needed a little I don't think
we needed it from the white I want to be clear.
We didn't need white people coming in and giving it
to us, but we did need a lord. Yeah, we
needed we needed one to study abroad, one of Nigeria.
Get get a little bit of it. Jesus kind of deconstructed.
(24:15):
See what the real Jesus, come back, bring it and
be like, y'all need to stop. Yes, and and here's
what I'll get out. Here's what I'll get a little
hotep with you. Because I play the game, I'm not
scared of it. I think some of this fear, to
your point about being black and proud, some of this
fear comes from the colonization that happened with actual white people, right. So,
(24:39):
so white devil as they were, came into your community,
did horrible ship to you. And now your your first
reaction when you see a baby born matching the white
man's skin, you go, this is a goddamn evil baby
and I gotta do something about it. Yeah, it didn't
(24:59):
like you am always on landing on it was the
white man's fault, because wrong with that. You know they
came in and you know that's how they get YEA
Napoleon with his bitch asks trying to kim come over there,
all the queens and kings of England working with us. Yes,
(25:21):
it's it, truly, you can always blame the white man.
Here's where blaming the white man gets tougher though, because
the parts that they that they talk about for albino people,
they say that that the limbs and the like any
appenditures and ship can go for the price of And
this is a un report. This is such a big
(25:41):
problem that the United Nations is publishing reports on this ship.
But the United Nations in the body body parts of
albino people can fetch prices from two thousand dollars for
a limb and up to seventy five thousand dollars for
a quote unquote complete set, meaning the entire person's corpse. Wow,
(26:03):
I'm yeah, Like there's so many questions and thoughts after hearing,
because there's also the element of like the folks like,
do truly feel like some next level like horror movie ship,
because like you would imagine the folks who want these
body parts and to do these are you know, and
no disrespect to the cousins and the cultures, but are
(26:26):
like the more you know, like the stereotypical African you
know when all these white people like going to the
cannibal tribes and like ship like that, Like that's what
you're expecting. But if you got seventy five racks, now
you got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got some brand.
You ain't you? You ain't out in in in in nature.
You you was in the city, You was in you
(26:48):
and you in South Africa with the the the Young
Rich and African reality show that I was started question
on Netflix, you were you kicking it with them? Yeah,
And apparently they sell the these things to witch doctors
who who, like you said, are at least adjacent enough
to like resources that they have seventy five dollars to
(27:11):
drop on this ship. Like it's not these are not
the have nots. These people with actual money. That's nuts.
That is that just is because that means that there
is a whole like level of like people who were
like we were making bread, We're moving forward, but also
(27:33):
we're still doing this type of ship Like it truly
feels like like you know, once again and this is
this is once again how we're gonna spend it and
turn on the white man. We got so many white
horror stories when when could be eating on this right here.
What you're doing, get yourself a black director, because you can't.
They already as to touch this one. He's gonna get cooked.
(27:54):
He's gonna get cooked. If you try and do this,
you're gonna you're gonna have to hit up like Coogler
or Jordan. Yeah, you know, because like this this is it.
But it's like that is like wild and it but
funny enough, it does relate in that same way right
where we talk about like this is such a wild
(28:16):
conspiracy theory, like like how does one carry on to that?
And it is that thing of you you just never
skepticize about it. You just kind of be like yeah,
like you know, you know, my my grandma told me,
you know, albino people come from when you have sex
in in the day. I'm not gonna question it because
especially in Black culture and even African culture, you're not
(28:38):
supposed to challenge your elders. And I think this our
generation is one of the first generations that were like, nah,
we're gonna say funk that, like we're gonna it's like
the first like when you see like you know, every
day there's a thing on Twitter about like some some
black frids me, like, my mom and aunts say this,
but I'm like nah, and I'm like, yeah, yeah we did.
(28:59):
We didn't used to do that. You can you can
necessarily do that. And it's certainly not as emphatically as
you're saying yeah exactly, like that was some ship you
have to like you like snuck and did it anyway,
but you weren't gonna go like toe to toe. And
I think this is like the product of that where
you're like, well, if this is what they can see
that point I think there is. It helps us trace
(29:22):
some of the logic that landed on your father, right that,
like this, your dad is probably in a community where
at least growing up, where he is taught that that
Albanism is this sort of like cursed, magical thing, and
so that creates a type of fear for people where
they go, I don't want to fucking I'll buy no kid.
(29:43):
I don't want my kid to become mutilated or murdered
for the way that they look or or existing in
the world. How can I prevent it? And then some
dude is like, oh, daytime said, don't don't you eat
no pussy during the day. Well, first of all, but
if you're gonna do it, because there's no way this
(30:04):
dude is pro pussy eating at all. But anyway, don't
don't do daytime sex. And then and then you'll you'll
be safe from this thing. And that allows people, to
your point, a level of comfort inside of this thing
where although it feels irrational and and scary and all
of the sort of like heavy words, you go, well,
(30:27):
as long as I follow this and this rule, maybe
my kids will be protected from this additional harsh reality. Yeah,
I think you're right on it. I think that's what
it is. Now. I'm trying to think of like the
little kind of like jingles they might have come up
with to help people remember, see the cat taking nap.
(30:49):
You should not be able to see that pussy before
you get the sign it be too dark. And that's
all right. If the sunlight setting that pussy, you gotta relax. Man.
It's like the elephant grave yard, so don't go there.
(31:09):
I mean maybe that's the origin of you know, uh,
kiss me where the sun don't shine shine, or you
might just camp an albino baby. You don't want that
albino baby, so it just gives me where the sun
don't shine please obviously, Okay, I don't know that we're
solving anything here. Yeah, I don't think we're making the
(31:30):
world a better place. But I do have a few
more research points that I'd love to throw your way
after the break, because it gets far more exciting than
we've already it, truly does. I think you think we've
peaked out. But my friend, there's so much more to
dig into. So we're gonna take a break. We'll be
back with more if you want any way more, my
mama told me, and we are that. Yeah, we're back
(32:14):
here with more if you want the way more, my
mama told me. We're still talking about the possibility that
I'll buy no people. Are they come from your day sex?
They come from you having sex when the sun is up.
Don't do it, people, It's not safe. How you can
love your kids however they come out. I don't know.
Am I to judge? It's that it never even crossed
(32:35):
my mind, frankly, the possibility of having and I'll buy
no job. And maybe that's my own ignorance. I think
there's like other ship that you would like me, like
you know, I have a daughter, so like you, you're
worried about way other ship. You know, before you got autism,
you got like, you know, you have so many things
I'll find It was like at the bottom of that
(32:56):
list for me. And you know when my wife was agnant.
You you know, you go through all these and all
these like they warn you when they make you do
all kinds of blood tests and they check genealogy and
all these different ways, And at no point was I
like albino, we forgot to ask. It's like, no, I
(33:17):
just don't want everything else you're warning me about first,
and then maybe I was stressed about that a hundred
years down the line. Yeah, you know, I just want
to take a quick side or to say there's nothing
wrong with kids with autism. I was ready to work
through it. You know what I'm just saying it is
it is just a very real thing. As a parent,
you're just like like like, I'm gonna just be all
(33:37):
the way funky. You just like, I want a normal
kid that doesn't need any extra attention. Yeah, if they do,
I'll still love them and will work through it. And
there's nothing wrong with kids that do. But for me,
I know that you know, it's gonna be hard slanging
these jokes yeah, no, I think. I think. I don't
want any of our listeners to think that we are
(33:58):
besmirching the differently a old That is not the goal.
We are merely saying that the tests are very scary
and Albanism is not a concern when you are being
presented with all of the different other concerns that are
that are sitting there. I totally missed that you had
a kid. Yeah she's she's only five months, so okay,
(34:19):
so it's okay. Yeah, there was a whole two years
we weren't seeing any of our friends. Did you have
that realization that we were like, oh, only kicking with
some of these friends were at shows, like I never
act I the pandemic made it clear. I have three friends,
and I thought I had more. You would ask me
(34:40):
before the pandamic, I say a thousand friends, yea, And
my Facebook is honest, five thousand friends what it says,
And it's like, nope, you got three friends, dog and
uh and some of them you're on rocky terms with something,
So you gotta be careful. You gotta really learn to
value your friends differently. Oh man, you know we're we
(35:01):
we we can only grow from that information and now
people that shows and be like, let's hang out outside
of here. Yeah, well I want you to be my
fourth friend. Okay, let's jump back into this research because
I promised you that it would get more enticing and
I did not lie. So Additionally, besides just their limbs,
(35:25):
parts of the albino people that also are sold on
different markets are like the heart, hair fingernails are all
sought are all sought after? Her material? And why are
they sought after? That was the big question that I had,
is like what are they doing with them? And apparently
these different silly ingredients can be used for things as
(35:47):
widespread as fertilizing the soil, winning political elections or football matches.
And this is my personal favorite, becoming invincible. There are
some hooping that was some albino fingernails in your pocket,
you are invincible, see see one. That's hilarious because that's
(36:11):
such a huge jump from like trying to win an election,
trying to throw your cross invincibility. I will not be touched,
but I don't mind the hair fingernails, you know, because
that to me, I'm like, that is a way that
albinos folks can make money. In Africa, there was like
I'm gonna clip my ship up and yeah, I'm making
some bread, you know. Yeah, it's like selling feet or
(36:32):
dirty panties or whatever it is that that people are into,
Like you can you can sell your albino fingernails and
make some some guap off that ship. Yeah. So this
this one I definitely like because I could just it's
not a bad deal. Yeah. So so you're not mad
at at the possibility that that the fingernails have have
a currency to them. Yeah, I like, I like I've
(36:55):
that I funk with because you know, I just like
to imagine like an albino person at home just clipping
their fingered ales and just counting, you know, some cash,
and they and they're and they're living a good life.
No one's trying to murder them, as see. That's what
I like, the part where they're not being murdered. Well,
unfortunately that's not the main focus there because for the
(37:16):
murder parts, there are also additional superstitions that people believe
that albino parts, and they say parts, but they mean
like their limbs and sort of like essential parts bring wealth,
power or sexual conquest. And they also believe that having
sex with a person living with Albanism. Here's HIV and aids.
(37:38):
Oh no, that's that, that's just bad for that person.
They get. No, I got a lot of people lying
where it's like no, he's like like I'm clean. I mean,
I'm gonna be Like what gonna be? It's like, no, Actually,
you've just ruined this nice albino man's life. Uh, that's wild,
(38:02):
even scarier. It's if it can't get scarier. It's not
some crazy, uncommon occurrence in a number of these countries.
In fact, so the US and I looked all this
ship up. The US, apparently, albinism is believed to be
in about one in twenty thousand. One in every twenty
thousand people has some version of a albino situation going on,
(38:27):
but in places like Tanzania, the numbers are closer to
one in five thousand. That's because everybody fucking them. You think,
you know, there there's one person who's like length and
if y'all need to relax because this ship is actually
working out, I'm selling my fingernails and hair and fucking nightly,
(38:47):
don't don't don't shake the tape, stop hating taking the
table too much. I'm straight, y'all, leave alone. I mean
here in a ship. Oh like, oh man, I you know,
I truly do hope that that's there's that one person
(39:09):
who is getting the best out of all this, the
one person who's like, actually, I'm eating it's wild because
I I read this article from this guy who who
was born with albuanism and was forced to flee where
he lived right that basically, like immediately as he came out,
his dad was told, you should kill that baby and
(39:30):
sell it because it's gonna be worth crazy money. And
his dad was like, not fucking killing my baby. And
so they, you know, they fled. Then they moved to
like they moved out of the continent. And then eventually
he got older, he turned like forty or fifty or
some ship, and decided to go back and confront the
witch doctor that first said that ship, you know, to
(39:53):
his father, and so he makes this journey back and
he's like a professor. Now he's a really like smart,
popular guy, and so he just wants to have a
reasoned conversation with this person to sort of get a
sense of like do you realize that you're causing the
damage that you're causing and putting people's lives at risk,
and he said when he sat down with the witch doctor,
the dude would barely even like entertain half the ship,
(40:16):
he was saying, And he just kept saying to him, Bro,
you don't know what you're worth, Like you don't fucking
get it. You know how much money I could get
for you right now? That's nuts that the it is,
It is Nutstu, because it really that feels like just
(40:36):
where we are as a society where it's like I'm
not even listening to you because I've made up my
mind and I just need to convince you to let
me murky right now, like how because because that is
like a different level of confidence. It's one thing to
be like I'm not I'm not listening to what you're saying.
I'm not listening to what you said, and I need
(40:56):
you to understand that I need you dead. Yeah, it
surely feels like those cartoons where like where Daffy Duck's
body turns into a turkey, you know what I mean,
Like you're just staring at him and you're like licking
your lips, like God damn, I eat the ship out
of it, just just staring him. He's like a talking
stack of cash, Like, yeah, I could be invincible right now.
(41:20):
I could. I could. I could deflect bullets if you
would just let me. There's a ninety nine percent chance
that he was charging people to come in and sniff
that chair. It's like, you don't know, I took a
picture that was not a final person sitting in this chair.
(41:41):
Pity bucks coming in here, sitting up the seat. You
might get temporarybility. You sniff the seat, you'll you'll start
glowing rainbows like Mario after he eats his strong exactly.
Oh man, it's only gonna last like ten seconds. You're
gonna be strong as for that ten seconds? Yeah, would
you rather be invincible for ten seconds or not at all?
(42:05):
Not at all? You gotta go with ten seconds. I
think that's the easy answer right there. So so this,
all of this is obviously devastating and and fucked up.
But similarly, albino people, even when they're not being directly attacked,
apparently face a number of discriminatory issues, including being treated
with fewer rights and denied education because of their condition.
(42:29):
So it truly it does not get better even when
you're not being massacured for albumism, because that is like
I mean, this is funny enough. A racist white person's
dream is like here and like c c C see
when they when the when the tables are dirt and
(42:52):
Darkey's a real racistm Yeah. No, it truly is proof
that we could have done it too. They just beat
us to the beats many they went over there, they
stole all the spices they knew. So I'll hit you
with with one more devastating sort of like tidbit, because
(43:15):
it truly does not get better inside of any of this.
And additionally, I should say that even relating to to
the education and sort of like fewer rights. I've read
this story about a girl. She's a grown woman now,
but when she was a girl, she talked about being
regularly flogged at school, beaten at school because they wouldn't
consider the fact that she she had an eye condition,
(43:38):
obviously because she's albino. A lot of them are. They
have trouble seeing things, certainly up close, and as a result,
she couldn't see the board. Often she struggled to actually
make out what was in front of her, and she
was regularly beaten by her teachers and the administration because
she would go, I can't see stuff and they go
(43:59):
bitch you line and they just beat the funk out
of her. Man. This, this is also confirming just another
thing my dad would say, because my you know, whenever
I did bad at school, he was like, he was like,
if you do bad at school, I will send you
to Nigeria and when you get something wrong, they will
hitt you nuts. And now I'm hearing Nope, that's part
(44:21):
for the court. How is that gonna help. I'm just
gonna be fucked up and dumb. It's it's surely wild.
And my sister, you know, my youngest sister, she's she's
eleven now, and she lives with my mom in Ghana,
and they beat the ship out of her. There's a
man named There's a man named Master Ben who I
regularly asked about because he apparently has a room filled
(44:43):
with knes. He just has a bunch of canes that
he in various thicknesses and lengths that he uses to
to beat the kids. And my sister gets hit by
Master Ben. And for some reason, that makes me laugh.
But for other people, I get it. It's probably illegal
and corporal punishment is wrong. Blah blah blah. But when
my sister is getting hit. It's funny to me. That's
(45:05):
that's just that brother relationship. You're like, see, you shouldn't,
Master Ben. Don't get it wrong. I'm not making this
up when I truly try to invite Master Been to
my wedding just to make my sister more stressed. As
if Masterman wants to come, I will pay the extra
(45:26):
money to make sure Masterbend has a seat and a
plate at my way. Are you you're paying a hell
of Hello Rex just to fly out all those games
because and I want to seek for each game, each
game gets its own seats. Why why is there all
these gains in these seats? Are there are no dots?
And listen, I wouldn't ask too many questions, Master Banking
(45:47):
hear you, and he ain't gonna he ain't gonna sit
through that too. You don't like that, you know, don't
like that. So here's the last piece of devastating information
that I've sort of found in all of this, even
worse beyond the the beatings, even worse beyond, frankly, the
the murder and mutilation. If you are managing to survive
(46:09):
all of that ship. Statistically, it shows that nearly of
albino people die before the age of forty in Africa
from skin cancer that like they don't even make it
past a reasonable lifespan because of how little is sort
of like done to to treat and prepare for the
(46:33):
sun and the harshness of the sun in Africa. Well, yeah,
that's the coldest part is because you know Africa and
Africans like they used to that sun. They it is built.
Like when I went I've never been sunburned my whole life. Yeah,
but I went to Nigeria and I immediately I didn't
get I got like sunburned and heat rashed. And I
was like, that's when I knew ship was real because
(46:54):
it wasn't like to me, you you don't consider how
hot it is. You know it's hot, but you're like,
what if as hot as human and now that sun
is hitting you in a whole different wavelength. Yeah, I
mean you you went out to Ghana, right, so you
felt that I haven't been to Ghana. I haven't visited
my mom there yet, but I have been to South
Africa and South Africa fux Uh. My wife and I
(47:18):
are are pretty much the same skin color, and it sucked.
Both of us are real bad that's tough. And we
were lather, you know what I mean. It's not like
I went in there with EGO. I know what the
funk was like, you know what I mean. I wasn't
like a bad boy about this ship. Yeah, I was lathering.
But it's a different fucking sun, you know what I mean.
And that is that is like the at the African
(47:40):
sun is something else. I did go in with Ego.
I didn't wear sunscreen once and then I tried to
do it after that. Guess I gotta damn well if
this is this started off real silly and then it
just hurt turned heartbreaking for albino people. But maybe maybe
(48:01):
this was informative. Maybe we help them know what to
prepare for and where to stay away from should they
decided to go traveling. Shout out. If you're out bino
and you've seen the return, go ahead and you don't
just don't return. Don't return until I'm gonna talk to
some people. Yeah. Yeah, Lets we'll write to you. We'll
(48:24):
write you a letter in big words because we want
you to be able to read it. We'll write big
old letters and we'll say, hey, it's safe to come
visit now that we checked it out here. We checked
it out. I pressed a few people. Master being got
his knees taken away. He ain't I'm gonna. I'm gonna
because now it's like I just know now, if I'm
(48:45):
in Nigeria and I see someone out bino, I'm about
to break out bread on them. Home I heard about.
I know what you're going through here. Come on, you
ain't even gotta give me no finger nail. Ye don't
just find somewhere safe to sleep to night. Please. This
is for a secure e detail and I want you
to get the most clappy ist ones, the ones I
want l a club bouncer energy on all your I
(49:08):
love that all right? If he could, you could you
tell the people at at home where they can find
you and what cool should you have going on? H Yeah,
if you wide away on Twitter and Instagram, watch Grand
Crew on NBC. It's on Hulu and Peacock now, so
definitely watch that and uh, keep your keep your eyes
peeled to the show I'm currently working on. Uh, I
(49:28):
can talk about it because it was announced doing a
twisted metal show to be on Peacock, So peep that
when that drops. Fuck yeah, well follow if you watch
watch Grand Crew, watch Twisted Metal, when that bad Boy
comes out. That's great. And as always, you can follow
me and like Saint Kerman on all of the platforms
and and you can subscribe to the podcast if you
(49:51):
so choose, and please, if you want to send us
your conspiracy theories, you can send them to my Mama
pod at gmail dot com. I would love to hear
from you. Okay, that's it, by bitch, because of growing
Davies my crop chips in your mails. A Quala bears
(50:12):
are racist, the old school players, oldsty money, Martial's defning
turkey stuff. I can't tell me
See, I'll say this, I love mayonnaise, and undercover Brother
didn't shake me for a second, and if anything, it
made me feel more confident. Was like, Nigga, you're doing something.
These other niggas can't. They don't know what they don't
know about this ship. You're like, Jesse, Oh here, keep going, motherfucker. Yeah,
they're just gonna change the name to a Oli and
(00:24):
then Nick's gonna foke with Mannaids. But it's still Mannaise.
That's still Mannaids. They just added some spicy do fall
for it chips in yours a racists money stuff. I
(00:52):
can't tell me bang bang bang skeek skeet skak. Yep,
there it is, there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the
podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets of
black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove that
(01:14):
facts Domino and Chubby Checker existing in the same universe
is proof that all of this is a very, very
silly simulation. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The problem with
the argument about the matrix is that they didn't address
how funny the matrix is. Whoever invented the matrix is
fucking hilarious. You made two fat boys named themselves after
(01:36):
game pieces. That's that's amazing, and we should celebrate the
matrix rather than running from it. Fuck you, Neo. I'm
staying in this bitch, if it's gonna be this goddamn funny.
I'm your host, Nankston common as always coming in hot baby,
You know how I do. I don't never come in regular.
And I could come in like a decent human being
one of these days and just say hello everyone. Nice,
(01:57):
Nice to have you here with us, so that we
could talk about black stuff. But nope, I say mean
things about I presume them too, dead men. I can't.
I can't say for sure, but I have to assume
that both of those fellas are dead, and uh and
I miss them, dearly Chubby. That's You'll be in my
heart as always. Do you know who who's also in
(02:17):
my heart and and ain't dead? He ain't dead? Is
it's my guest today. He's so funny. You know him
from from a lot of just amazing funny ship especially
most importantly, you know him from from the show Grand Crew,
where he writes he's he's on camera, he does all
the ship and he's so talented and you're gonna love him.
(02:38):
Please give it up from my guests, Mr IFFI, why
the ways? Hey, I almost kind of wish that I
do die, like between when we record this and when
it comes out, because because I also, do you ever
think about that? You're like, if I die, are the
people who I did podcast, what's still gonna release that episode?
(03:00):
Are they gonna do like a somber preamble where they're like,
you know the thing is I think what they do
is you save that episode and then you like get
you do a different intro, you make it real, like, wof,
I'm coming to you quieter this time. So because this one, yeah,
we were laughing about dead people, but this is one
(03:20):
actually features a dead man. So so I'm gonna whisper
is intro. Yeah, because that's how you know something sad
in podcast is when the voice gets real low and
oh if they're whisk yeah, see the thing that happened
this week. He was on the pod shortly after. If
(03:41):
we could get serious for I know we do some
sillies around here, but but but we actually miss them
very much. Rest in peace, you know, Condolen Stewart family
and all the anime figures after the right, you gotta
do it? Can add you wouldn't you do all these
(04:02):
sad things? And then you throw to an ad for
for Mayonnais. I believe that's I can't be sure anymore,
but I believe that this podcast is still being supported
by Mayonnaise. So shout out to Mayonnaise for for being like,
we're going to break the color line. We're not gonna
keep letting black people say they don't eat Mayonnai's. We're
(04:24):
going to force it down your thropes via this this
pretty black podcast. Okay, we can't talk about Mayonnaid's all
day because you came, and I couldn't be more excited
for the conspiracy theory that you offered up. Truly, it's
been a long time since I've crossed one that that
I it never even crossed my mind. It it never,
(04:47):
It couldn't have hit my radar anywhere. But you said,
my mama told me the sex of the daytime gives
you a vinal cance. Yeah, yeah, this is this. This
one was a fun one because I was I was
trying to think of something fun to go over and
(05:09):
it's something that people might not have heard before. And
this is funny because my mama told me that, but
it's something my dad said. So my dad's from Nigeria. Um,
I'm Nigerian American. And she was talking about, you know,
all the differences they had because I was just like,
you know, you you're from Louisiana and he's from Nigeria.
There definitely and she was like yeah. She was like
(05:29):
he would do like a lot of weird things, and
he was like, yeah, he never wanted to have sex
in the daytime because he said, that's how you have
albino kids. So he's just depriving himself day's x at
the possibility that one of his kids might come out
out bind. That's how you know, they didn't have day
(05:50):
parties like that back in the day. That was that
was before brunch culture. Because because I come back, that
suited all. There wasn't a uh, There wasn't a fucking
uh what's the them ship's called the what's the orange do? Mimosis?
There wasn't a mimosis in sight anywhere in Nigeria. They
could They're like, we have to mimosis because we'll be
(06:11):
overrun by albino kids and we don't want that. So
he says this to your mom, and then your mom
repeats it to you. Yeah, I'm curious to know. Was'
she repeating it like, hey, by the way, this is
something I learned from your dad and I want to
pass it down to you. Or was she like this
man is nuts. Yeah, it was definitely that the the
(06:34):
the ladder where she because you know, she was a nurse.
So she's like, no, I that makes no sense, Like
I know the science here, you can You're not gonna
pull one over on me. Uh, this is And if
the funny part is if I brought this up to
my dad, he's gonna deny it till till the cows
come home, like he oh yeah, no, my my dad will.
(06:57):
One of the things he will admit is like in Nigeria,
you know, it's like totally normal for ment to hold hands.
And he said when he came out here, you know,
he was trying to he was he was walking down
the street with his homie and he tried to hold
his hands like it's like they don't do that out here. Wait.
(07:19):
I have so many questions because because I totally understand
in a culture where you guys are sort of like
doing that together, it makes perfect sense right where you go, like, yo,
you're my friend, and we both grew up the same way,
so we just naturally find ourselves holding hands. But if
you're walking with someone and they're not, their instinct isn't
(07:42):
to reach for your hands, yea, What is it that
makes you go, I need to hold this nigga's hand?
I think, I think I gotta Like he was crossing
the street and it was that natural, like, come on,
let's let's let's cross the street together. He was like
he was like, na, we don't do that that. And
the second thing is, you know, it's hot as hell
and after cut, and so they were powdering their faces,
you know, so they wouldn't sweat, you know, just the
(08:04):
same way we put on baby powder, but like they
would carry like the little compact. And my dad started
doing it. His homeboard was like, Nah, they don't do
that out here. I was like, my dad must have
been like, this world is nuts. What are y'all doing?
If if you're not holding hands and you're not powdering
(08:26):
your face, how does a man be a man? You know?
How does just a good strong man, be a man
if he can't hold his friends saying and then and
then powder his nose. Yeah, he's like he's like, he's like, man,
what happened to real men? You know America? Real powdered
man up? Oh? I would I wouldn't give to to
(08:50):
just be a fly on the wall watching your dad
discover American tradition. Yeah, you know what I mean. I
guess the sort of like the anti Nigerian traditions that
America sort of representsive like everything he does where there's
just a dude being like, no, brother, hold on, you
(09:11):
can't do that. You can't we don't do that. I
don't know what y'all doing in Nigeria, but that ship
and then he just gotta go home with a notebook
and be like, okay, another thing marked off the list
that I we don't do apparently out here. How much
do you think it affects the male black culture the
(09:34):
current time? If we all just started holding hands, like
when Nick is getting less or more fights, here's the thing,
I think we would get in less fights. I think
White America would fucking melt down. Like I think the
entire idea that like we had reached that level of
harmony where niggas are just walking and holding hands would
(09:57):
destroy whiteness at its core. Yeah. No, I could just see,
like you know, Mitch McConnell's like neck jiggling and angry
grows another gel it just he fully would turn into
that dinosaur in Jurassic Park with the the spread it.
You know, I don't think that white America could handle
(10:18):
that level of harmony, and and truly I think it would. Yeah,
it's it's because they've worked so hard to force Christianity
down our throats and to to sort of like trick
us into thinking that America had had reached a level
of civility that we, these ignorant black people couldn't reach
and then we're just powdering our noses and holding hands.
(10:41):
Oh my god, they they would lose it. Don't look.
We we don't have time to just go down the
wormhole that I have such a disdain about civility, and
you know, we were forced to to to hear it
all week. I mean, I don't know when this is
gonna drop it. This past week we did the conversation
of civility and what it means and all. But to me,
that's the biggest scam. You had a these large group
(11:04):
of white people rape and village countries back to back,
and then once they're in power, they're like, you can't
do it back to us because that beat. Yeah, come on, yeah,
come on. Aren't we trying to be regular? You're gonna
you're gonna try to us after we came. When I
raped your great grandmother, I said, no hit back. Okay,
So it'd be real weird if you dethroned us. So
(11:30):
it's like, you get out of here. Yeah, no. I
this week, I think, yes, it very much was a
lot of here's what frustrated me about this week. And
I won't spend too much time on the Will Smith
Chris rock of it all. Although this comes out, this
comes out next Tuesday, so it's not like we're gonna
be to day to days. But what I will say,
(11:50):
as just a viewer in the entire experiences, that was
the funniest thing that should have happened in the night.
It surely was a miracle of comedy that a a
billionaire went up and slept a man in the face
for making fun of his wife on television. And it
(12:11):
it was so funny and then that quickly got derailed
by everybody seeking justice for rich people. Yeah, and that's
you nailed it a thousand percent. You like because I
showed it to I was at a show with Greg
Edwards and I showed it to him and we were
(12:31):
we it was we couldn't stop laughing. We couldn't. We
were like, and we're doing a show where we're doing
specific pandemic jokes or Brandy Posey's album, so like no
one could talk about it on stage, so all we
couldn't do is talk about it and then like to
get home and see all these think pieces, and I
think once and once again, I like. The thing about
(12:53):
it too is like and you same thing. Like we
grew up in a world where niggas will get into
our try and beat each other to death. One would lose.
They shake hands and you keep kicking it. So like
to me, I'm like, yeah, you slapped him, But like
life moves on, but everybody wants to focus on the
I'm like, they're not even thinking about it right now.
They're mad about it. I know, Chris Rock, you know,
(13:15):
the male ego is tough. I know he's still mad
about it. You probably have that fucking but beyond that,
they're straight. So why Chris Rock loves loves to pace?
That man is pacing, uh, and not in the way
(13:35):
that he likes to pace. He's facing in a different
way than he likes to pace. Now, Yo, So yeah,
no I I feel I feel that, No I. And obviously, yeah,
let's be responsible. Obviously there there were right decisions and
wrong decisions made. Obviously there are there are moments inside
of this that that we're clearly mishandled by all parties.
(13:59):
But the point is is, let the ship be fucking
funny for the nights that it's funny, and then we
can get into responsibility and politics and all the other
ship that people are trying to add to the conversation. Yeah,
let's last, Yeah, let's la let's can we do that
before we go to break because we we've derailed ourselves
(14:20):
so much that we've barely even touched the conversation at hand.
Your mother tells you this, she tells you, this is
a silly thing that your dad believes. Do you does
any part of you consider it? Do you ever go
like nah, I mean I get it. You a nurse
and you know Dad's he maybe he's a silly man sometimes,
but maybe there's a level of truth to this that
(14:42):
we're not considering. No, this is the one thing. And
I say that as someone who like there's a lot
of like you know, kind of like spiritual aspects of
of like a lot of my African side that I'm like, Okay,
I feel that I see that energy. This not at all.
This definitely feels like we've never seen an albino person.
We need answers, and we're not going to think too
(15:06):
much about it right now, and we're just gonna be like,
this is what caused it. Yeah, it is a hard
thing to kind of settle into, you know what I mean,
Like you really got to make some massive leaps in
your in your line of thinking to get to that.
And and I think in that way, it truly is
you being like I think, to believe it, you have
(15:28):
to believe in your traditions and your community more than
you're even interested in exploring Google in any factoids that
it can offer to you. Well, that was the thing,
right is, Like, you know, our parents grew up in
the world before Google, and you know, like I imagine
at this point my dad was probably in as like thirties,
and you know, I'm in my thirties, and there's probably
(15:51):
some shift that is in the back of my head
that I've never tapped into the fact check that it
would come out. But I don't know. I feel like
I would that would be want to try and knock
down quick because I'm like, I'm really cutting down the
amount of times that could be fucking so hot. To
get to the bottom of this, I gotta treat I
(16:11):
gotta treating like Rama Doon all the time. Now, that's crazy.
That's why out all right, We're gonna be We're gonna
take a quick break. We'll be back with more if
you want the way. We'll be back with more, my
mama told me. And we are bad. Oh yes, Kenny,
(16:44):
lend the nigga a pencil. Yeah, we're back here with
more if you want the way more, my mama told me.
We're still talking about the possibility that having sex during
the daytime will produce albino children. And maybe maybe it's
true if he doesn't believe it, I frankly I don't
believe it either, But maybe we're wrong, do you know,
(17:05):
And I don't know if this is a problematic question,
but I'll ask it, do you know any albino people?
Have you? Well, there have comic that I'm sure we
both know. Sure, yeah, but beyond that, no, shout out
to him and sorry I didn't say your name, but
I did forget it in this moment. Victor is the
one I know. I assume that. Yeah, I think that's
you know as well. But yeah, they're they're they're rare.
(17:29):
They're rare. That's a it's a mew two of a Pokemon,
you know what I mean. But also to you, you
have folks who, um, it's it's what Michael Jackson said,
he had lago and then like they appear to be albino,
but it's like, no, they have videlago and they reached
that point. So yeah, and and to let's this, this
(17:52):
is probably a great transition into sort of like some
of this research just for our listeners at home who
may not be a hundred person and clear on what
albinism is, what an albino person's genetic condition is. Albanism
is a genetic condition that decreases the production of melanin
and results in fair skin complexion, light eyes, and light hair,
(18:15):
and increase susceptibility to various skin and eye conditions. They
are are extremely pale. Often their hair is often uh
similarly pale, and they have difficulty managing sunlight and being
in certain like high intense light conditions. And that a ligo,
(18:36):
on the other hand, is more a condition that hits
you later in life where your skin begins to transition
into a similar color of Albanism, But it doesn't necessarily
guarantee that you're going to have the same like eye
conditions and sort of health scares that uh an albino
person might experience. But that's all the facts. Now let's
(18:57):
get to the silly ship. Because I went to do
the research right on on whether or not fucking during
the daytime would produce an albino child, and I'll be honest,
I didn't expect to find very much, and to some
extent I was correct. There's there's not a lot of information,
(19:20):
if any, that I could find about this this piece
of information that your dad offered up. However, what I
did discover that I was extremely surprised by is how
much information there is about conspiracy theories relating to albino
people that they this is not an isolated conspiracy theory
(19:43):
in fact there are hundreds, literally hundreds of conspiracy theories
about albino people and what they might be. Oh, it's devastating,
you know. It's also you know, just the quick at Tangent.
I'm just curious of what your algorithm ads are looking like, Langston.
(20:05):
When you're looking up all these you injected in the
Q and on, I just know they Yeah, my algorithm
has been fucked for a long time. Man. One of
my one of the my favorite episodes that we did
in this was extremely early on in the podcast, was
trying to figure out if there was any evidence that
(20:26):
Sierra was intersex. Said whether or not she was, she
was born with male genitalia, and that sucked me right
from the start. You know, once you start looking up
ship like that, nothing nothing was the same. Like Drake said, yeah,
that was like a high school that I was like, yeah,
well we brought it back. Turns out it was coming
(20:49):
from an extremely hateful place of surprise. Surprise, just a
bunch of men who couldn't have sex with Sierra decided
to say her shoulders were too big and say some
awful ship on the internet. You know, you can always
count on black Man. We all did down we do
(21:13):
other stuff, all right. So this theory, or rather the
plethora of theories that I discovered, are all rooted in
a conspiracy theory related to to a lot of in
and this roots from a lot of African countries, but
quite a few African countries actually believe that albino people
(21:36):
have a type of supernatural power that brings a curse
to them and all of those who love them and
care about them. So that that's where where this roots from,
is that they believe every albino is cursed with magical
powers that ruin everybody's lives. I feel like that's like
(21:59):
the top level of being black and proud. Like you
are so black and so proud, but if you see
someone bro born from you that is not black, like
you have cursed us, you cursed sucking lineage, yeah, which
which you're not black, head ass. The crazy part about
(22:21):
that is is that albinism is a it's genetic, Like,
this isn't some random thing, This isn't something that you
can't predict. It truly can be traced through your genetic lineage.
And so in that way, this is a bunch of
people who who have had albino people in their lives
before this and then are cursing their fucking children and
(22:45):
their children, their children's children simply because they're doing what
their blood made them. Dive. At the end, at the
end of the day, it's your fault. Your jeans fucked
me up. Don't blame me for that ship. My favorite
thing is that it's it's all over Africa, right, Tanzania,
malwy Cameroon, Nigeria, obviously, Uh, it's it's made, it's reached there,
(23:09):
it's everywhere. And because of this super this super infamy,
we'll call that super infamy out. But I know people
are often killed in or mutilated and their body parts
are then sold as ingredients for making magical potions and defenses.
That's that's wild. Yeah, No, it's it's real sucky dog
(23:31):
like I I went into this being like this is
gonna be a fun, silly grab on on daytime sex.
And I was like, whoa, they're cutting out bino people's
arms off and then grinding them up to make like
potions and syrups and ship who all right, you know,
(23:53):
maybe we didn't need a little Jesus. Maybe we needed
a little Yeah, maybe needed a little I don't think
we needed it from the white I want to be clear.
We didn't need white people coming in and giving it
to us, but we did need a lord. Yeah, we
needed we needed one to study abroad, one of Nigeria.
Get get a little bit of it. Jesus kind of deconstructed.
(24:15):
See what the real Jesus, come back, bring it and
be like, y'all need to stop. Yes, and and here's
what I'll get out. Here's what I'll get a little
hotep with you. Because I play the game, I'm not
scared of it. I think some of this fear, to
your point about being black and proud, some of this
fear comes from the colonization that happened with actual white people, right. So,
(24:39):
so white devil as they were, came into your community,
did horrible ship to you. And now your your first
reaction when you see a baby born matching the white
man's skin, you go, this is a goddamn evil baby
and I gotta do something about it. Yeah, it didn't
(24:59):
like you am always on landing on it was the
white man's fault, because wrong with that. You know they
came in and you know that's how they get YEA
Napoleon with his bitch asks trying to kim come over there,
all the queens and kings of England working with us. Yes,
(25:21):
it's it, truly, you can always blame the white man.
Here's where blaming the white man gets tougher though, because
the parts that they that they talk about for albino people,
they say that that the limbs and the like any
appenditures and ship can go for the price of And
this is a un report. This is such a big
(25:41):
problem that the United Nations is publishing reports on this ship.
But the United Nations in the body body parts of
albino people can fetch prices from two thousand dollars for
a limb and up to seventy five thousand dollars for
a quote unquote complete set, meaning the entire person's corpse. Wow,
(26:03):
I'm yeah, Like there's so many questions and thoughts after hearing,
because there's also the element of like the folks like,
do truly feel like some next level like horror movie ship,
because like you would imagine the folks who want these
body parts and to do these are you know, and
no disrespect to the cousins and the cultures, but are
(26:26):
like the more you know, like the stereotypical African you
know when all these white people like going to the
cannibal tribes and like ship like that, Like that's what
you're expecting. But if you got seventy five racks, now
you got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got some brand.
You ain't you? You ain't out in in in in nature.
You you was in the city, You was in you
(26:48):
and you in South Africa with the the the Young
Rich and African reality show that I was started question
on Netflix, you were you kicking it with them? Yeah,
And apparently they sell the these things to witch doctors
who who, like you said, are at least adjacent enough
to like resources that they have seventy five dollars to
(27:11):
drop on this ship. Like it's not these are not
the have nots. These people with actual money. That's nuts.
That is that just is because that means that there
is a whole like level of like people who were
like we were making bread, We're moving forward, but also
(27:33):
we're still doing this type of ship Like it truly
feels like like you know, once again and this is
this is once again how we're gonna spend it and
turn on the white man. We got so many white
horror stories when when could be eating on this right here.
What you're doing, get yourself a black director, because you can't.
They already as to touch this one. He's gonna get cooked.
(27:54):
He's gonna get cooked. If you try and do this,
you're gonna you're gonna have to hit up like Coogler
or Jordan. Yeah, you know, because like this this is it.
But it's like that is like wild and it but
funny enough, it does relate in that same way right
where we talk about like this is such a wild
(28:16):
conspiracy theory, like like how does one carry on to that?
And it is that thing of you you just never
skepticize about it. You just kind of be like yeah,
like you know, you know, my my grandma told me,
you know, albino people come from when you have sex
in in the day. I'm not gonna question it because
especially in Black culture and even African culture, you're not
(28:38):
supposed to challenge your elders. And I think this our
generation is one of the first generations that were like, nah,
we're gonna say funk that, like we're gonna it's like
the first like when you see like you know, every
day there's a thing on Twitter about like some some
black frids me, like, my mom and aunts say this,
but I'm like nah, and I'm like, yeah, yeah we did.
(28:59):
We didn't used to do that. You can you can
necessarily do that. And it's certainly not as emphatically as
you're saying yeah exactly, like that was some ship you
have to like you like snuck and did it anyway,
but you weren't gonna go like toe to toe. And
I think this is like the product of that where
you're like, well, if this is what they can see
that point I think there is. It helps us trace
(29:22):
some of the logic that landed on your father, right that,
like this, your dad is probably in a community where
at least growing up, where he is taught that that
Albanism is this sort of like cursed, magical thing, and
so that creates a type of fear for people where
they go, I don't want to fucking I'll buy no kid.
(29:43):
I don't want my kid to become mutilated or murdered
for the way that they look or or existing in
the world. How can I prevent it? And then some
dude is like, oh, daytime said, don't don't you eat
no pussy during the day. Well, first of all, but
if you're gonna do it, because there's no way this
(30:04):
dude is pro pussy eating at all. But anyway, don't
don't do daytime sex. And then and then you'll you'll
be safe from this thing. And that allows people, to
your point, a level of comfort inside of this thing
where although it feels irrational and and scary and all
of the sort of like heavy words, you go, well,
(30:27):
as long as I follow this and this rule, maybe
my kids will be protected from this additional harsh reality. Yeah,
I think you're right on it. I think that's what
it is. Now. I'm trying to think of like the
little kind of like jingles they might have come up
with to help people remember, see the cat taking nap.
(30:49):
You should not be able to see that pussy before
you get the sign it be too dark. And that's
all right. If the sunlight setting that pussy, you gotta relax. Man.
It's like the elephant grave yard, so don't go there.
(31:09):
I mean maybe that's the origin of you know, uh,
kiss me where the sun don't shine shine, or you
might just camp an albino baby. You don't want that
albino baby, so it just gives me where the sun
don't shine please obviously, Okay, I don't know that we're
solving anything here. Yeah, I don't think we're making the
(31:30):
world a better place. But I do have a few
more research points that I'd love to throw your way
after the break, because it gets far more exciting than
we've already it, truly does. I think you think we've
peaked out. But my friend, there's so much more to
dig into. So we're gonna take a break. We'll be
back with more if you want any way more, my
mama told me, and we are that. Yeah, we're back
(32:14):
here with more if you want the way more, my
mama told me. We're still talking about the possibility that
I'll buy no people. Are they come from your day sex?
They come from you having sex when the sun is up.
Don't do it, people, It's not safe. How you can
love your kids however they come out. I don't know.
Am I to judge? It's that it never even crossed
(32:35):
my mind, frankly, the possibility of having and I'll buy
no job. And maybe that's my own ignorance. I think
there's like other ship that you would like me, like
you know, I have a daughter, so like you, you're
worried about way other ship. You know, before you got autism,
you got like, you know, you have so many things
I'll find It was like at the bottom of that
(32:56):
list for me. And you know when my wife was agnant.
You you know, you go through all these and all
these like they warn you when they make you do
all kinds of blood tests and they check genealogy and
all these different ways, And at no point was I
like albino, we forgot to ask. It's like, no, I
(33:17):
just don't want everything else you're warning me about first,
and then maybe I was stressed about that a hundred
years down the line. Yeah, you know, I just want
to take a quick side or to say there's nothing
wrong with kids with autism. I was ready to work
through it. You know what I'm just saying it is
it is just a very real thing. As a parent,
you're just like like like, I'm gonna just be all
(33:37):
the way funky. You just like, I want a normal
kid that doesn't need any extra attention. Yeah, if they do,
I'll still love them and will work through it. And
there's nothing wrong with kids that do. But for me,
I know that you know, it's gonna be hard slanging
these jokes yeah, no, I think. I think. I don't
want any of our listeners to think that we are
(33:58):
besmirching the differently a old That is not the goal.
We are merely saying that the tests are very scary
and Albanism is not a concern when you are being
presented with all of the different other concerns that are
that are sitting there. I totally missed that you had
a kid. Yeah she's she's only five months, so okay,
(34:19):
so it's okay. Yeah, there was a whole two years
we weren't seeing any of our friends. Did you have
that realization that we were like, oh, only kicking with
some of these friends were at shows, like I never
act I the pandemic made it clear. I have three friends,
and I thought I had more. You would ask me
(34:40):
before the pandamic, I say a thousand friends, yea, And
my Facebook is honest, five thousand friends what it says,
And it's like, nope, you got three friends, dog and
uh and some of them you're on rocky terms with something,
So you gotta be careful. You gotta really learn to
value your friends differently. Oh man, you know we're we
(35:01):
we we can only grow from that information and now
people that shows and be like, let's hang out outside
of here. Yeah, well I want you to be my
fourth friend. Okay, let's jump back into this research because
I promised you that it would get more enticing and
I did not lie. So Additionally, besides just their limbs,
(35:25):
parts of the albino people that also are sold on
different markets are like the heart, hair fingernails are all
sought are all sought after? Her material? And why are
they sought after? That was the big question that I had,
is like what are they doing with them? And apparently
these different silly ingredients can be used for things as
(35:47):
widespread as fertilizing the soil, winning political elections or football matches.
And this is my personal favorite, becoming invincible. There are
some hooping that was some albino fingernails in your pocket,
you are invincible, see see one. That's hilarious because that's
(36:11):
such a huge jump from like trying to win an election,
trying to throw your cross invincibility. I will not be touched,
but I don't mind the hair fingernails, you know, because
that to me, I'm like, that is a way that
albinos folks can make money. In Africa, there was like
I'm gonna clip my ship up and yeah, I'm making
some bread, you know. Yeah, it's like selling feet or
(36:32):
dirty panties or whatever it is that that people are into,
Like you can you can sell your albino fingernails and
make some some guap off that ship. Yeah. So this
this one I definitely like because I could just it's
not a bad deal. Yeah. So so you're not mad
at at the possibility that that the fingernails have have
a currency to them. Yeah, I like, I like I've
(36:55):
that I funk with because you know, I just like
to imagine like an albino person at home just clipping
their fingered ales and just counting, you know, some cash,
and they and they're and they're living a good life.
No one's trying to murder them, as see. That's what
I like, the part where they're not being murdered. Well,
unfortunately that's not the main focus there because for the
(37:16):
murder parts, there are also additional superstitions that people believe
that albino parts, and they say parts, but they mean
like their limbs and sort of like essential parts bring wealth,
power or sexual conquest. And they also believe that having
sex with a person living with Albanism. Here's HIV and aids.
(37:38):
Oh no, that's that, that's just bad for that person.
They get. No, I got a lot of people lying
where it's like no, he's like like I'm clean. I mean,
I'm gonna be Like what gonna be? It's like, no, Actually,
you've just ruined this nice albino man's life. Uh, that's wild,
(38:02):
even scarier. It's if it can't get scarier. It's not
some crazy, uncommon occurrence in a number of these countries.
In fact, so the US and I looked all this
ship up. The US, apparently, albinism is believed to be
in about one in twenty thousand. One in every twenty
thousand people has some version of a albino situation going on,
(38:27):
but in places like Tanzania, the numbers are closer to
one in five thousand. That's because everybody fucking them. You think,
you know, there there's one person who's like length and
if y'all need to relax because this ship is actually
working out, I'm selling my fingernails and hair and fucking nightly,
(38:47):
don't don't don't shake the tape, stop hating taking the
table too much. I'm straight, y'all, leave alone. I mean
here in a ship. Oh like, oh man, I you know,
I truly do hope that that's there's that one person
(39:09):
who is getting the best out of all this, the
one person who's like, actually, I'm eating it's wild because
I I read this article from this guy who who
was born with albuanism and was forced to flee where
he lived right that basically, like immediately as he came out,
his dad was told, you should kill that baby and
(39:30):
sell it because it's gonna be worth crazy money. And
his dad was like, not fucking killing my baby. And
so they, you know, they fled. Then they moved to
like they moved out of the continent. And then eventually
he got older, he turned like forty or fifty or
some ship, and decided to go back and confront the
witch doctor that first said that ship, you know, to
(39:53):
his father, and so he makes this journey back and
he's like a professor. Now he's a really like smart,
popular guy, and so he just wants to have a
reasoned conversation with this person to sort of get a
sense of like do you realize that you're causing the
damage that you're causing and putting people's lives at risk,
and he said when he sat down with the witch doctor,
the dude would barely even like entertain half the ship,
(40:16):
he was saying, And he just kept saying to him, Bro,
you don't know what you're worth, Like you don't fucking
get it. You know how much money I could get
for you right now? That's nuts that the it is,
It is Nutstu, because it really that feels like just
(40:36):
where we are as a society where it's like I'm
not even listening to you because I've made up my
mind and I just need to convince you to let
me murky right now, like how because because that is
like a different level of confidence. It's one thing to
be like I'm not I'm not listening to what you're saying.
I'm not listening to what you said, and I need
(40:56):
you to understand that I need you dead. Yeah, it
surely feels like those cartoons where like where Daffy Duck's
body turns into a turkey, you know what I mean,
Like you're just staring at him and you're like licking
your lips, like God damn, I eat the ship out
of it, just just staring him. He's like a talking
stack of cash, Like, yeah, I could be invincible right now.
(41:20):
I could. I could. I could deflect bullets if you
would just let me. There's a ninety nine percent chance
that he was charging people to come in and sniff
that chair. It's like, you don't know, I took a
picture that was not a final person sitting in this chair.
(41:41):
Pity bucks coming in here, sitting up the seat. You
might get temporarybility. You sniff the seat, you'll you'll start
glowing rainbows like Mario after he eats his strong exactly.
Oh man, it's only gonna last like ten seconds. You're
gonna be strong as for that ten seconds? Yeah, would
you rather be invincible for ten seconds or not at all?
(42:05):
Not at all? You gotta go with ten seconds. I
think that's the easy answer right there. So so this,
all of this is obviously devastating and and fucked up.
But similarly, albino people, even when they're not being directly attacked,
apparently face a number of discriminatory issues, including being treated
with fewer rights and denied education because of their condition.
(42:29):
So it truly it does not get better even when
you're not being massacured for albumism, because that is like
I mean, this is funny enough. A racist white person's
dream is like here and like c c C see
when they when the when the tables are dirt and
(42:52):
Darkey's a real racistm Yeah. No, it truly is proof
that we could have done it too. They just beat
us to the beats many they went over there, they
stole all the spices they knew. So I'll hit you
with with one more devastating sort of like tidbit, because
(43:15):
it truly does not get better inside of any of this.
And additionally, I should say that even relating to to
the education and sort of like fewer rights. I've read
this story about a girl. She's a grown woman now,
but when she was a girl, she talked about being
regularly flogged at school, beaten at school because they wouldn't
consider the fact that she she had an eye condition,
(43:38):
obviously because she's albino. A lot of them are. They
have trouble seeing things, certainly up close, and as a result,
she couldn't see the board. Often she struggled to actually
make out what was in front of her, and she
was regularly beaten by her teachers and the administration because
she would go, I can't see stuff and they go
(43:59):
bitch you line and they just beat the funk out
of her. Man. This, this is also confirming just another
thing my dad would say, because my you know, whenever
I did bad at school, he was like, he was like,
if you do bad at school, I will send you
to Nigeria and when you get something wrong, they will
hitt you nuts. And now I'm hearing Nope, that's part
(44:21):
for the court. How is that gonna help. I'm just
gonna be fucked up and dumb. It's it's surely wild.
And my sister, you know, my youngest sister, she's she's
eleven now, and she lives with my mom in Ghana,
and they beat the ship out of her. There's a
man named There's a man named Master Ben who I
regularly asked about because he apparently has a room filled
(44:43):
with knes. He just has a bunch of canes that
he in various thicknesses and lengths that he uses to
to beat the kids. And my sister gets hit by
Master Ben. And for some reason, that makes me laugh.
But for other people, I get it. It's probably illegal
and corporal punishment is wrong. Blah blah blah. But when
my sister is getting hit. It's funny to me. That's
(45:05):
that's just that brother relationship. You're like, see, you shouldn't,
Master Ben. Don't get it wrong. I'm not making this
up when I truly try to invite Master Been to
my wedding just to make my sister more stressed. As
if Masterman wants to come, I will pay the extra
(45:26):
money to make sure Masterbend has a seat and a
plate at my way. Are you you're paying a hell
of Hello Rex just to fly out all those games
because and I want to seek for each game, each
game gets its own seats. Why why is there all
these gains in these seats? Are there are no dots?
And listen, I wouldn't ask too many questions, Master Banking
(45:47):
hear you, and he ain't gonna he ain't gonna sit
through that too. You don't like that, you know, don't
like that. So here's the last piece of devastating information
that I've sort of found in all of this, even
worse beyond the the beatings, even worse beyond, frankly, the
the murder and mutilation. If you are managing to survive
(46:09):
all of that ship. Statistically, it shows that nearly of
albino people die before the age of forty in Africa
from skin cancer that like they don't even make it
past a reasonable lifespan because of how little is sort
of like done to to treat and prepare for the
(46:33):
sun and the harshness of the sun in Africa. Well, yeah,
that's the coldest part is because you know Africa and
Africans like they used to that sun. They it is built.
Like when I went I've never been sunburned my whole life. Yeah,
but I went to Nigeria and I immediately I didn't
get I got like sunburned and heat rashed. And I
was like, that's when I knew ship was real because
(46:54):
it wasn't like to me, you you don't consider how
hot it is. You know it's hot, but you're like,
what if as hot as human and now that sun
is hitting you in a whole different wavelength. Yeah, I
mean you you went out to Ghana, right, so you
felt that I haven't been to Ghana. I haven't visited
my mom there yet, but I have been to South
Africa and South Africa fux Uh. My wife and I
(47:18):
are are pretty much the same skin color, and it sucked.
Both of us are real bad that's tough. And we
were lather, you know what I mean. It's not like
I went in there with EGO. I know what the
funk was like, you know what I mean. I wasn't
like a bad boy about this ship. Yeah, I was lathering.
But it's a different fucking sun, you know what I mean.
And that is that is like the at the African
(47:40):
sun is something else. I did go in with Ego.
I didn't wear sunscreen once and then I tried to
do it after that. Guess I gotta damn well if
this is this started off real silly and then it
just hurt turned heartbreaking for albino people. But maybe maybe
(48:01):
this was informative. Maybe we help them know what to
prepare for and where to stay away from should they
decided to go traveling. Shout out. If you're out bino
and you've seen the return, go ahead and you don't
just don't return. Don't return until I'm gonna talk to
some people. Yeah. Yeah, Lets we'll write to you. We'll
(48:24):
write you a letter in big words because we want
you to be able to read it. We'll write big
old letters and we'll say, hey, it's safe to come
visit now that we checked it out here. We checked
it out. I pressed a few people. Master being got
his knees taken away. He ain't I'm gonna. I'm gonna
because now it's like I just know now, if I'm
(48:45):
in Nigeria and I see someone out bino, I'm about
to break out bread on them. Home I heard about.
I know what you're going through here. Come on, you
ain't even gotta give me no finger nail. Ye don't
just find somewhere safe to sleep to night. Please. This
is for a secure e detail and I want you
to get the most clappy ist ones, the ones I
want l a club bouncer energy on all your I
(49:08):
love that all right? If he could, you could you
tell the people at at home where they can find
you and what cool should you have going on? H Yeah,
if you wide away on Twitter and Instagram, watch Grand
Crew on NBC. It's on Hulu and Peacock now, so
definitely watch that and uh, keep your keep your eyes
peeled to the show I'm currently working on. Uh, I
(49:28):
can talk about it because it was announced doing a
twisted metal show to be on Peacock, So peep that
when that drops. Fuck yeah, well follow if you watch
watch Grand Crew, watch Twisted Metal, when that bad Boy
comes out. That's great. And as always, you can follow
me and like Saint Kerman on all of the platforms
and and you can subscribe to the podcast if you
(49:51):
so choose, and please, if you want to send us
your conspiracy theories, you can send them to my Mama
pod at gmail dot com. I would love to hear
from you. Okay, that's it, by bitch, because of growing
Davies my crop chips in your mails. A Quala bears
(50:12):
are racist, the old school players, oldsty money, Martial's defning
turkey stuff. I can't tell me
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
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