The Secret to Your Best Sex Yet ft. @SexDocCarli

Carli Blau is a breath of fresh air. She says the things we’re all too afraid to think (let alone say) and shares candid stories about her personal and professional life that leave us empowered to BE our TRUE selves. 

 

Carli SPILLS:

• Why we should OWN OUR WEIRD

• Faux Confidence: how getting bullied shaped her into who she is today
• Self-Love: what is it REALLY? And why men need to work on it, too! 
• How to use the REAL self-love to have your best sex yet 

• The impact of trauma, and pain on sexual functioning
• Sex as a multifactorial experience
• Why hating your partner isn’t necessarily a bad thing 
• and more!

 

Purchase 'The Monster at the end of this book' HERE!

 

Follow Carli on Instagram: @sexdoccarli 

Carli’s Website: https://www.carliblau.com/

 

Instagram:

The Truthiest Life on Instagram @thetruthiestlife

Host @lisahayim

 

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Guest submissions, please fill out this form HERE. 

 

Edited by Houston Tilley

Intro Jingle by Alyssa Chase aka @findyoursails 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
M hm, I no be a right. Even when times
gutheart and feuck, you're in the du cu. See just
how beautiful laugh can be when you soph in your heart,

(00:22):
you can findly start to fire to Seius Life. All right, everybody,
welcome back to the Truthius Life. It's your host, Lisa
Hame and I actually had to do a little schedule
change up because I'm coming right off this episode with
sex Dot Carly Ak Carly Blow, who's a therapist, a

(00:44):
sex therapist specifically, and I'm feeling so charged by it
that I want to just get it out into the
universe and into your ears as soon as I possibly can.
I had so much slated that I wanted to ask
Carly about about motherhood and her own life and her
IVF struggles. I didn't get to any of it because
we really explored conversation so organically that needed the depth

(01:07):
and the time and the conversation to kind of go
so much further than really a quick bullet point could
ever go. So in this conversation we talk so much
about things that I know you're totally all going to get,
like the confidence in being a weirdo. If you're listening
to this podcast. If you like me, I know that
you like weirdos and that you are a weirdo yourself,

(01:28):
and chances are if you're like me, there have been
moments in your life where you're really proud and own
that and other times where you table that. And we
want to talk about the power and being weird and
how we can form amazing relationships with people if we
kind of own our weirdness. Carly, who comes off as
so confident and self assured, talks about this faux confidence.
She was actually bullied when she was younger and had

(01:49):
to kind of adopt this faux confidence that is kind
of true a lot of the times, but other times, she,
just like anyone else, struggles with feelings of self doubt,
just like we all do. We have such an important
conversation around self love. It's a topic that is so
misunderstood because I think that generationally, older generations can't even

(02:13):
wrap their heads around it, and our generation has seen
it kind of slated as self love massages even just
related to body image. Carly breaks down what self love
is and how it really is the most important molecule
that we need to focus on first before we even
entertain the idea of having relationships with other people and

(02:34):
how most importantly it includes loving the parts of yourself
that aren't all so perfect or clean, or even ones
that you're proud of having. This in depth conversation was
just eye opening because we also talked about the conversation
about self love and men. I think the conversation the
last few years has been great on social media, but

(02:56):
it's really been geared mostly towards women, and I can
speak firsthand to the fact that men need to embody
self love too in order for them to heal, and
for us women, men and non binary to heal our
relationship to each other as a whole. Nobody is excused
from this conversation, and we need to create opportunities for

(03:16):
everybody to get a taste and feel for what it
really is so that we can have real quality relationships
with each other rather than what often happens, which is
toxic relationships because we haven't done our own self work.
She's a sex therapist, so of course we talked about
sexual functioning and the lack of sexual functioning that can

(03:36):
happen because of trauma. More simply because sex is a
multi factorial thing. It's not just sex and pleasure. It
also is psychological and environmental, and there's so many aspects
that the movie is straight up don't talk about that
need to be talked about. It's just a really raw
and organic conversation about how we can stop worrying so
much about what others think, so that we can focus

(03:59):
on ourselves, nourish our relationships to ourselves, and ultimately be
the best people that we can be. You'll see from
the way that Carly speaks that she is not just
an expert, but she is passionate. She is truthful, she
is raw, she is so living her truth. He is life,
and we will definitely have her back on for a
part two. So I invite you to take a listen
to this episode and really do a lot of self reflection.

(04:21):
As you do, I ask you, in listening to this
episode to use it as an opportunity to do a
lot of self reflection. Ask yourselves the questions that we
ask each other. Pause, take inventory of your own life,
your own relationship to self love, to self hate, to
your relationship to sex and how it has changed over
the years, and all these different things. Use this as

(04:43):
an opportunity. It was incredibly therapeutic for me, and I
know that it will be for you too. If you
love this episode as much as I do, please share
it on social media so we can encourage other people
to hear the conversations that we are having, let them
know that they are not alone, that know that it's
okay to have those scary thoughts and know that being
a human is hard, but it's also really beautiful. Thanks

(05:06):
for living your Truthius life. I'll see you back here
next week. Welcome back to the Truthius Life. Today's guest
is sex therapist Carly Blow. Welcome Carly. So excited for
us to really get to know you and pick your
brain on some hot topics. I'm so excited to be here.
What an honor and a privilege. Thank you for taking

(05:26):
the time to speak with me and to have me here.
Carly and I were just talking offline. I've followed her
on Instagram for a long time and love everything that
she says. But we also know each other in real life,
and I couldn't remember how we knew each other, and
Carly reminded me that we met at a party, probably
over fifteen years ago, which is kind of crazy. Easily

(05:48):
fifteen years ago and it's funny because like, I remember you,
and it's funny. I think you and I shared the
sentiment that what we remembered about each other is like
a similar energy and we just liked who the other
person was, so so well to kind of manifest talk
about manifestation and how you know you can really connect
with somebody on a soulful level as strangers and then
really like who the other person grows into. And I

(06:09):
think that's such a cool. Oh, I love that. Yes,
I think what was striking about you to me, and
I remember that more than even like where we met
or like what stage of life we were in, was
that I think I expected you to probably be like
a lot of the girls that we knew, which were
like beautiful and also kind of intimidating and hard to

(06:31):
talk to on that soulful level. Sure. And the reason
I have this podcast is because I'm really weird. When
I do meet somebody and I connect with somebody, we
go deep really fast. And I've had the privilege to
do that with so many people in my life and
wanted to bring that online. And I kind of remember
having that with you, and you know, you remember those
people and those experiences more than you even remember, like

(06:55):
what it was about. So I have no idea what
we connected on so deeply. We probably were drinking. We're
probably twenty years old or less and now here we
are moms. You're a therapist, and I mean you're a woman,
you're an adult, you're a homeowner, a wife. You know
you're doing it all. Literally, I'm a mom ptrenore like

(07:15):
if that's I just made my own word. But it's
like an entrepreneur, but a mom entrepreneur. But it doesn't
really work. But you all know what I'm talking about.
But that's what I am. Or i'll just call it
a manager, um, a wife, pager, a personager, just managing
everything in my world. But you're right like you and
I we met on this kind of soulful level. And
I really love what you said about being weird. We're

(07:37):
all fucking weird human beings. I think every single one
of us, is every one of you listening. We've all
got this weirdness to us. And I think what I
really liked about you back then is you kind of
just you were unapologetically yourself and you were a stranger
in the world of who I was meeting and yeah,
you were kind and you were beautiful and smart and

(07:58):
and insightful, and I just remember having this energetic connection
to you. And I've always followed you for that reason
because I always I have an authentity for connecting to
people that I think are genuine and authentic, even in
their insecurity. Right, So like when I say genuine and authentic,
it doesn't mean that like you're inherently confident and feeling
really great about yourself and feeling like nothing insecure and

(08:21):
just totally self assured. I think the confidence comes from
actually knowing where your weaknesses are and and being comfortable
being weird and admitting where you are and just being
whole in that. Yeah, I think I I'm much more
even back then, operated from a place of knowing like
we're all weird? Why is everybody afraid to show it?
And as I've gotten older, actually, and I talked about

(08:44):
this on this podcast, and you know, I never tried
to be inauthentic. It's called the truth is life. That
doesn't mean that I'm always in my radical authenticity to means,
just like everyone else, I get tripped up. But I
feel like I have gone into shell mode as i've
navigated life in some areas in some circumstances, and hearing
you say that I used to be like that kind

(09:05):
of encourages me to get back into kind of being that,
you know, even if it's not liked by everybody. I
think having an online persona and I don't know if
you feel this way because you're such a professional in
your field is and I'm trying to work on this,
but I've started to care more about people's opinions of
me than I used to. And I don't know if

(09:26):
I was more confident back then or naive or what
it was, but um, it's something that I'm definitely trying
to get back into because the reality is is that
back then not everybody liked me, and not now everybody
liked me, and that's okay, and that's good because it
allows me to kind of weed out the people that
aren't going to get me and get close to the

(09:47):
ones that do. This is already therapist, by the way,
thank you for being a therapist and all aspects of life.
I'm literally when am I not a therapist? But and look,
my brain kind of just functions this way. It always
has always, It's been this like weird introspective, emotionally mature, psychoanalytical,
little human being in the world. And the thing is

(10:09):
is it's like to your point about being worried about
what people think. Like so many people ask me, why
don't I have a bigger presence or what and I
have a TikTok or why don't I, you know, work
hard to blow up my social media? And it's like
the social world we live in of social media is
not a safe space. Like it's very psychologically uncomfortable to
be unliked or disliked by a great group of people,

(10:33):
like and a lot of people. And when you are
vulnerable in the world, right when we get into like
what I specialized images like sex, stating and relationships. Relationships
can be as basic as just saying hi to the mailman,
right and having the relationship with the mailman or the
deep intimate relationship you have with a lover or a
family member. But at the end of the day, like

(10:55):
that relationship is only fostered and is a bit able
to grow by being vulnerable and by putting yourself out
there and being raw. And that's super scary to do,
especially in the world of social media, where there are
people that are considered like the trolls of social media,
the box, right, the people who are out there that
just want to bring somebody else down, and like, I'm

(11:17):
not gonna lie. I do have the fear about those people.
I've worked so hard to get to where I am
in my career and to have the ability to influence
so many individuals that the idea that somebody could just
simply not like what did I say and then try
to take me down like that idea is just literally paralyzing. Um.
And I know that if somebody doesn't like me, that
that's I used to say, Like, if you don't like me,

(11:39):
just blow me, right. If you don't like me, that's
a you problem, not an problem. I like me. Um,
I love me now right, and I've worked really hard
to get here. But if you don't like me, I'm
sorry that something about me is triggering something in you
that you're uncomfortable with. But it's a lot easier said
than to be practiced on a consistent basis. Not to

(12:00):
like totally make this a very dark conversation, but like,
think about how many celebrities like commit suicide and like
overdose and are addicted to drugs or self harming behavior.
I mean, being in the limelight. It's not an easy
thing to do. And so to kind of full circle
it back to this piece of like finding authenticity and
being proud of being weird, Like, yeah, I'd be proud

(12:21):
of it, but also protect yourself and be mindful if
you're willing to share that with because just because you
have the bravery to put it into the world doesn't
mean that everyone's going to actually do with it as
you intend for them to do. Beautiful. I mean, I
feel like you hit the nail on the head. And
it's interesting now because TikTok is a very different platform
than Instagram. I kind of grew up on Instagram and

(12:43):
accidentally created this community and business by being myself, and
it's always felt like a very safe space to me.
I put that in quote because it has changed a
lot over the years and I am certainly not as
fearless with it as I used to be. TikTok has
been a really great place for me to exert eyes
my ability to not be liked by all because it's
not It doesn't work like Instagram at all, where Instagram

(13:06):
you put something out and your followers mainly see it.
If you, you know, go viral, it picks up, and
you get new followers from that. It doesn't really work
out that well very much anymore. Whereas TikTok, people who
don't follow you are very likely to see what you post,
so they don't know who you are. They're seeing a
fifteen second clip, if even of one thing that you're
talking about, and they have sometimes like rage reactions, and

(13:29):
there's a whole comments section like meant for not even
you the creator, to engage with, but the commenters themselves
to like have a laugh with. And you could say
literally like this apple taste like candy, you know, and
it's meaningless to me saying it, and there everybody goes.
I posted something the other day totally not trying to
be judgmental about how anybody figures out sleep with their baby,

(13:51):
but I just spoke about what I was doing, and
oh my god, the comments went crazy, the videos went viral. People, girl,
educate yourself before you did it. I'm like, oh my god,
I actually wasn't even trying to wait. Don't you find
that to be? And I hate to interrupt. It's like
I used to my first internship ever out of college
at Syracuse my junior year was working for The Frisky,
which used to be a turn of broadcasting company. It

(14:12):
was one of like the first blog sites when blogs
were the first new hit thing, and I wrote about
sex for them, and the main editor who hired me
said to me, don't ever read the comments, like you
will lose your self assuredness as a blogger when you
begin reading the comments, because people it's like, it's like
what happened to Kim Kardashian recently, And I'm not going

(14:33):
to get into that, but it's like, you know, people
take one snippet of what you say and then it's
it's cancel culture. It's cancel culture, and it's just so scary. Yeah,
it's scary. And on Instagram, I kind of always felt
like people posting on my page I needed to respond
to them, explain myself, learn from them. Work TikTok is
like the wild wild West, and I love practicing not

(14:55):
having to respond to every single comment because they're not
even like talking to me. They're not going to continue
you to follow me. They're just like putting it out
there and then they move on. Anyway, that was just
a long winded conversation about how I'm kind of practicing
returning to that place of self assuredness. Of course, I
always want to learn, which I have learned so much
by listening to feedback on social media, but it also

(15:16):
comes at a cost to, you know, the things that
I want to keep safe. I don't want to put
it all out there anymore because I have a family,
I have a baby, I have a husband, and my
own things that I'm sharing now don't only just affect me. Okay,

(15:39):
So you brought up something that I think was really
fundamental to the conversation I want to have with you.
You are a sex therapist, right awesome sex dot Carley
is her insta. We'll put that below. But what I
really love and what has stood out without you saying it,
but also you saying it, is that your focus on
self love? How did you come to realize that self

(16:02):
love is fundamental in order to have any other type
of love? Oh, what a great question, and what a
loaded question. You know. It's funny. I've always been someone
that people were like, oh my god, like you have
so much confidence. Like I had a conversation recently with
a girl I went to high school with, but who
was like, you were always such a confident girl. You're
always such a confident girl. And I worked with so

(16:23):
many young women and then around this concept I call
folk confidence, which is what I was the queen of.
Like you would look at me and think that I'm
super super confident, but underneath it, I was kind of
I got bullied really bad. There were some women who
I'm sure perhaps or even listening to this, like they
really hurt me. They were so mean constantly, you know,
about my looks, about the attention I got from guys,

(16:46):
like just things. It was just like this this mean energy,
and it really impacted me. I mean, I really had
a hard time with it. I always dealt with mean
girls from when I was like six years old. I
now look at myself and you know, I think as
a therapist we can move are ourselves and our inner
child and like the traumas, and I think I was
just an old soul and I felt a lot of
emotions in comparison to other children my age, which seemed

(17:09):
weird and bizarre to them. It just wasn't identifiable. But
for me, this whole concept of self love came into
play when really from men, from men and women, right,
so for from women with like this bullying nonsense that
I dealt with. It was like I had such a
hard time really believing the piece of like if you

(17:29):
don't like me, just blow me right, Like I could
say it, I could intellectually explain it to someone like
if you don't like me, that's your problem. But again,
I'm still struggling even to this day with this, like
we're talking about just now, with this cancel culture stuff
like I'm afraid to put myself out there and fear
of what people are going to say that they don't
like me, But nobody can ruin me when I've made

(17:49):
myself into something that's so empowered. Right. It's like I too,
in this moment, still struggle with this notion of self
love and how to really believe in myself and what
I've aided. But I think it also exists in relationships, right,
Like how do you love yourself authentically and how does
that allow you to then be in a healthy relationship? Right?

(18:10):
I think so often we think, and a lot of
single people think, if I can find somebody that I
can really really really really love, then I'll be happy.
But it's like, know what actually leads you to a
place of happiness is loving yourself first. There is a
great a great quote, I'll take care of me for
you if you take care of you for me, And

(18:31):
I said it when I got married to my husband,
because what I used to think it meant was like,
I'll take care of me for you, like I'll take
care of me so that it takes care of you, right,
and like I'll take care of you through doing that,
and then you take care of me and toge let
me take care of each other. What it really means
is in my ability to care take myself right and

(18:51):
you not being responsible for taking care of me and
for how secure I am in the world, that will
allow me to be a great partner, parent person in
your world and vice versa. But if you really don't
understand that, then the idea of self love kind of
becomes really confusing because you're loving yourself for somebody else's benefit,
not actually for your own. I think that our parents

(19:14):
generation would not even be able to wrap their head
around what you just said. You know, it's funny, like
my mom, my dad, I still have been hit home
to but I'm working on that. But my inbout study Rand,
it's like whatever Daddy iss like Dad, thanks, but here
we are. Became a sex therapist is great, um and
and I also learned the quick snippet is like around men,

(19:37):
I think I had this like sexual energy to me
and this self assuredness sexually that always attracted men to me.
But because I what I've really come to learn, which
was very empowering and what I helped so many people through,
is that I thought that that sexual energy that made
them like me was what they would be attracted to.

(19:58):
And what I've come to learn through many brilliant male
clients and being married to a brilliant, wonderful man myself
and and doing this introspective work is like men are
most attracted to a partner who is self assured in themselves,
not not just like the sexual energy that too, but
really the self assuredness and it kind of just like

(20:20):
all came together for me, if that makes sense. And
to go back to the parent thing, I rambled for
a second, but like the parent thing is it's so interesting,
like I've I've spoken about this with my mom and
You're right, like their generation, the idea of self love
is just a different topic to them because it's like
speaking other language totally. And I know that we have

(20:42):
listeners of all ages here, so I bring up, you know,
listeners that are in their fifties, sixties to you know,
know that the concept might be even more difficult for
you than it is for even us when it's hard
for us because it was just such a different world
where these conversations weren't happening. And Evan's grandparents, for example,
you know, I have been to the other since they

(21:03):
were fourteen, or my mom had her first baby at
twenty four, Like, there wasn't a lot of time back then,
given what age people, the normal age people were getting
married to even go through the process that I think
you and I have went through, which is like your
young twenties when you realize that you don't love yourself,
and then loving yourself and then finding hopefully the partner

(21:25):
not to love you too, them love yourself, but they
love you because you love yourself. That's really confusing. But
hopefully you understood me, and our listeners did. Yeah, yeah, no,
I get what you mean. I think the other thing
is like we talked about culture, and you talk about
you know, just a cultural norms of the time back then,
Like you know, my parents got married when they were
thirty one and forty one. That was really late, right,

(21:47):
Like they were really late to get married. My dad
had me when he was they got married and they
were like forty but they hadn't even they were forty
one and thirty one, and like that was super late
to have a child back then. Culturally things have just
changed so much, Like now we're encouraging women to go
and get a career and make something into yourself and
find a purpose for yourself and feel accomplished for yourself,

(22:09):
even if that means just being accomplished in motherhood, right,
Like that still exists for women and for men to
be accomplished in fatherhood and parenthood and and and just
being a parent. Right. But culturally back then, the idea
of that even being something you had as a goal
wasn't socially acceptable. It just wasn't. And you know, it's
kind of funny though, just to think about like conditioning

(22:31):
and perception. I got married, I think at thirty one.
I believe I was thirty one when I got married,
and I didn't think that that was old to get married.
I've never like thought twice about that, but hearing you
say that your mom got married at thirty one. I
was like, wow, that's old, you know, just be I
don't know myself when I was going through it, I
didn't think it was old, but hearing that word just
was like, Wow, that is old to get married, even

(22:53):
though it's absolutely not, you know, like, no, it's totally not,
but it just feels it. Right. But but this is
the perpetual thing of the culture and the like the
society we live in now. It's like we just like
have this like Peter Pan culture where we're all wanting
to I mean, like everyone's boat tooxed and shot up
and plumped and pushed and pulled in every way to
look youthful and young. And it's like, you know, talk

(23:16):
about self love. And what I did learn from my mom,
which I admire so much, is like her self assuredness
and her body and her changing body and the way
that she aged. Like I see men nowadays, and I
see women nowadays and who are in their sixties and
seventies like my parents, and I'm like, wow, they don't
they their faces they look so youthful like and it's

(23:36):
like yeah, because they've been niptucked and pulled in every direction.
And I'm not knocking it right, Like if that makes
you feel whole and you feel good when you wake
up every day, and that makes you feel beautiful, that's great.
It's always interesting for me though, because my parents haven't
done those things and they do feel self assured and beautiful.

(23:57):
Like my dad, Like I joked with him, right, and
for give me, if you listen to this, you probably won't.
But it's like I said to him, like you should,
you should maybe get the mirrors, and he's like, I
like my smile, and I was like, what do I
check myself? Like what do you mean you should get
the mirrors? He's so content with who he is, and
like it really made me wake up and realize, like

(24:19):
can we accept ourselves how we are just in this moment?
Is that enough? It's funny because we have I think
opposite dad's and I have not showed this in any
other place, but we're like twenty one minutes in, so
I feel like we're safe enough place where anybody who
nobody's listening from a hateful point right now. My dad
just got divorced too, and he is really struggling with

(24:40):
the concept of self love and he keeps trying to
put a band aid and chase around doing the work
because that concept is foreign to him and he's only
felt worthy in this world by way of a woman
telling him that he's worthy. And you know, this conversation
about self love is oftentimes so geared towards women, but

(25:03):
I think it's so important for men and women. And who,
however you identify, is not binary world, right, Like people
who just identify however they identified to also feel validated
in that identification, right. But I feel like, at least
for to start this conversation, men are oftentimes left out

(25:23):
of the conversation. And obviously a lot of people have
problems with men. But imagine if men did this inner
work to actually love themselves from the get go, what
could really transpire from a place of healing for the
world and the way we all interact with each other
and for our younger generations, you know, thinking about fun

(25:44):
boys for lack of a better word, and the guys
that are kind of stringing you along or treating you
like crap, Like we think so much it's about us.
That's what we run with and we try to fix
it by texting and you know, chasing them or doing
things sexually that we might not want to do. You know,
these are just common themes that might happen in your
lifetime when you feel you are running for the validation.
But imagine if we all understood self love and self assuredness,

(26:08):
and you know, imagine we were taught that in school
in a different way, and hopefully we we will be
what a different generation we would have. On your website,
you have a great quote that I want to read.
It says, you're going to sleep with one person for

(26:29):
the rest of your life and they better be the
best sex you've ever had, and that person that you
love the most, and that person is you. Is that
a quote you made up? If I'm going to be
known for anything in my life, let that be the quote.
It's it's my words, um, it's my motto, it's what
I believe in, and it's you know, you're talking about
this piece about men, right, and like the idea of

(26:49):
self love and how we kind of talk about it
in a female feminine energy and space and psyche, but
it exists across the playing field for all human beings
to love themselves. And I've actually worked with some incredible
men in my career and teaching them what self love
really looks like and the authority around like asking for

(27:10):
what you need, being open and honest and communicating what
it is that you want need in the world, especially
from a woman, and what that looks like and having
it not be you know, just from certain things. But
I think that this to kind of take it into
a sex conversation here, Like self love is not just masturbation,
and self love is not just believing in yourself. Self

(27:31):
love is also fucking sexy, right, Like if you are
confident and self assured of not just your strengths, like
your weaknesses, your shortcomings, what your triggers are, your pushpoints,
your your insecurities, right, Like, you've got to love that.

(27:54):
That's what self love is. I think that that's the misunderstanding.
People think that self love is like all this positivity bullshit.
Fuck that, Like what is this rainbows, unicorns and butterflies world?
Like welcome to the real world. Like bad things happen
on a daily basis. We feel like shit often, like
sometimes we have anxiety, sometimes we feel depressed, sometimes we

(28:15):
are sad. Lots of us have deep seated rage and
frustration around things and traumatic situations. We've gone through in
our lives. Do we love all that? You know? Like
in my therapy, I keep this as the notion of
the monster, right, like we all have a monster? Can
you love it? Do you have it on a leash? Right?
I tell people in my office, we all have a

(28:36):
bad side to us, like the not bad, but just
the self deprecating, self hating, self doubting, mean, rageful, mean girl,
mean guy, dickhead, whatever you wanna call it, right, we
all have that in us. We have the capacity to
be that like as sweet and kind and nice as
I can be, I can be the biggest fucking bitch.
But it's just a matter of like loving myself to

(28:58):
know when I have the poten schill to be that way,
and how to keep it in check so that that
doesn't guide me. And when you have control of that,
that's where like you can unleash an animal in the bedroom.
That's like some hot fucking right there. And that's your
sex therapist side talking to, which I want to get
into in one second. I didn't expect this to be

(29:20):
such a deep dive on the topic of self love.
And it's a conversation I'm always having him with myself.
But we organically really just went there. And I remember
when I my own self love moment happened in a
hot yoga room during a time in my life when
I was constantly trying to change my body, and I

(29:40):
just melted one day and I looked in the mirror
and it wasn't that I was loving what I saw
back and said, yes, I love me, not that I
was hating it necessarily, but you know, I just picked
myself apart for so many years, and for whatever reason,
that day, it all kind of came together and I
was like, I love me, you know, and not I
love me I'm the hottest girl in the room or
anything like that, just like I love me. I've been

(30:04):
through hard stuff, I've been by my side. I'm proud
of me. I love me, and almost like afraid of
that thought because for so long, I think the topic
of quote unquote loving yourself, thinking that you were attractive
even was filed under conceited. I don't know if you
grow up yes, conceited or arrogant. And you know, I

(30:27):
remember one time going we grew up with going to
a lot of bot Mitzvah's was a very Jewish world
where I grew up, grew up, and I remember like
one of my friends one day we were thirteen, and
we were leaving to go to MIT, and I was like,
you look really pretty, And remember thinking like it was
such a weird thing to say to somebody else. I
don't even know why, but like we hold in all

(30:47):
of these thoughts about how other people look, because well,
it will she be afraid? Is that? Am I lesbian?
If I think she's pretty? Like all these all these
loaded things harder for like me to think. She was
like she should have permission to think that she's attractive
and pretty, you know. And I just think we grew
up in this world where we like weren't allowed to

(31:08):
think that we were pretty, and at the same time,
all we wanted to do was be pretty, and like
what were we We're just like fighting ourselves up this hill.
Thank you for sharing that with me. One of it's
so interesting yours was in like a hot yoga session.
Mine was a brilliant therapist in New York City by
the name of Eating Nathan. She specializes in grief, but

(31:29):
she's she's one of my mentors and I really look
up to her. I think she's a brilliant woman. She
helped me come to this notion of like archetypes and
the archetypes and what roles they play in your world.
And there was the archetype of the regular gal. And
the regular gal was like, she's easy going, she fits in,
she's um, she doesn't really stand out in any particular way,

(31:51):
but she fits in with the crowd and she's liked
and everyone likes her and she's included in everything and invited.
And I had this visceral reaction where I was like,
I've never been the regular gal, but I've always wanted
to just be one because I've never been one, and
so I've always stood out like a sore thumb in
a group of women, and so I got this like
negative attention whether it was a camp or elementary school

(32:14):
or wherever, like I just didn't stand out. I bumped
into like my fifth grade teacher recently and she was like,
she didn't recognize me. I was like, you're never going
to believe who I am. And she's like, oh my god,
Carlie Blouse. She's like, you were always ten going on thirty.
She was like, you were a fun time and I
was like, well, I'm still tend going going on thirty
and a fun time and a fun time. But you know,

(32:35):
it's it's just so interesting. It's like every one of
us has this like come to moment where you realize
where you haven't really loved yourself and where you could
do better, and like, if you pass up on the
pain of those opportunities of looking at them for what
they really are, you're ruining a growth opportunity. One of

(32:55):
my biggest ones was in the last house we lived in.
There was a huge mirror at the top of the stairs,
and I had had my daughter and she was, you know,
maybe sixteen months maybe maybe too and I was standing
in from the mirror and I lifted up my shirt
and I stood up sideways to see like my profile,
and I was like thinking to myself, like I look good.
I look you know, in shape, I look thin, Like

(33:17):
I look hot. And my little pisser daughter like walked
up next to me and she lifts up her shirt
and she checked out her a little body, and I
just welled up with tears, and I was like, never again,
never again. Well, the words I look so thin or
like I look so like I look good is one thing.
But I look good because I look thin is another

(33:40):
conversation and she does not need to see that. And
so I caught myself and I was like, Mommy, looks beautiful.
I look beautiful. Joey, do you look beautiful. She's like yeah.
I was like, you look beautiful, Mommy, and Joey look
beautiful right now. And I put my shirt down and
I just continued to go and I caught myself and like,
since then, I don't do those things because you realize

(34:01):
where you're still not loving yourselves. Thank you your Instagram.
You know, whenever you share moments with your daughter, I
absolutely melt over them because I know you're a entrepreneur,
like you said, but you are really very present and fun,
whether you're with her or I know you had like
I think, like a girlfriend come visit you last summer.

(34:22):
You're just like when you're present, you're really present, even
if you're recording it or if there's like a nest
camera or whatever. But those moments have given me such
joy to see you and just to also like admit
that you had the moment and you checked yourself, I
think is really cool. So you started to kind of
open up in your expertise, which is sex therapy and
loving yourself and how that can be brought into the bedroom.

(34:45):
I don't want to jump into this so fast, but
what about the person who does love themselves or they
have that sense of self assuredness, but in the bedroom
there's either pain physical or emotional, or trauma that impacts
their sexual functioning or interest. I believe this was kind

(35:05):
of a question that was submitted on my Instagram for you,
but I think it's a really great question because, Okay,
now we're working with the sense of self assuredness. We're
walking out on our day to day we're really good
at our jobs, we're really good in our relationships on
the surface, but come to the bedroom, there's a little
bit of a blockade there, even though we do have
that sense of self assuredness again because of sexual trauma,

(35:28):
functioning or pain. AND's a loaded question, but is there
any way you could try to tackle that a little bit? Yeah,
I know, it's a great question, and it's so interesting.
The most interesting thing about this for me and why
I love the work that I'm doing, is sex is
a multi factorial experience that is psychological, physiological, emotional, It's

(35:54):
all the above and more, and so many people have
never talked about it. It's interesting because our generation or
isn't like the older generations, really never talked about it,
and so exploring it is is really challenging. Our generation
has a lot of shame around not talking about it
because it's supposed to be a lot freer for our generation.

(36:16):
And I'm curious to see how it's going to impact
younger generations being such a much more sexually liberated and
fluid generation, and you know, to see how that impacts
us culturally. But to kind of get back to the
piece of like what do you do when you do
have self love and self assuredness elsewhere but it's not
showing up in the bedroom. It's like again bringing up
that piece of the monster, like what have you not
talked about? What are you keeping in a clot Like

(36:37):
what are you keeping hidden? What are you not bringing
to the surface. There's a beautiful children's book and if
you don't have it for your daughter, you needed immediately.
It's the monster at the end of this book. That's
what's called the monster at the end of this book.
Monster at the end of this book. And I read
it to so many clients and they're like, why am
I paying a premium for you to read me a

(36:58):
Sesames read book, and I'm like, because it's profound, bitch,
it's profound. But the truth of the matter is it's like,
you know, we're constantly afraid of the monster at the
end of the book, and we we want to like
nail this page to the next page so you won't
get to it, and we're gonna, you know, I'm gonna
try to be a self asshured in my job, and
I'm going to try to be selfishored in my family
and in my motherhood and in my and in my relationship,

(37:18):
and I'm going to try to do all these things
in my life so that I feel self assured because
I don't want to get to the monster at the
end of this book, which is like how sex is
not fulfilling for me? But when you get to the
end of the book, right, like, sorry spoiler, but the
monster at the end of the book is me, I
Grover and the furry old monster at the end of
this book, and there's nothing to be afraid of. And

(37:39):
the last page is a little bubble that says, oh,
I'm so embarrassed, and I went eating Nathan my my
old therapy my therapist, you know she's she read it
to me. I was hysterically crying. I mean, like weeping
in her office. Like what I mean, it's me, I'm
the monster at the end of the book. But it's true,

(38:00):
Like you have to come to terms with the fact
that maybe you are uncomfortable with sex, maybe you've never
explored it. Like you listening to this, have you When
was the last time you thought about your first experience?
What was sex? Who taught you what sex was? How
did you learn what sex was? Who taught you what
things were? Right? Like I became sex dot Carley because

(38:23):
I didn't know what any of this was until I
found this boy that came into my life at thirteen,
who you know, convinced me he loved me madly and
that when you love each other, these are the things
you do. And I knew that that's my parents were single.
I knew they were dating. I knew, like I had
a book about it. I had an idea that this
is what went on. But I had never done any

(38:46):
of those things myself, like at all. And I got
introduced to it and then I mean, you didn't ask this,
but I'll tell you when I say this often in
public spheres. Is how did I become this sex therapist?
Is I started engage doing with this boy who was
my boyfriend in sex related stuff and sex at like thirteen, fourteen, fifteen,
and I wanted to know what was happening, but I

(39:08):
was afraid to tell my mom. And my best friend's
parents had a library in their house with a bunch
of books, and one of them was a sex book,
and it was an educational book about sex, um more
biology focused, and I would read about everything. So I
knew from a textbook. I didn't learn from friends and
their older siblings. Like I actually knew what felatia was

(39:29):
I like fourteen, because I was reading about it in
a textbook. And so I became the girl like otis
from sex education, like that was based on me, not actually,
but it is. And like the person who I taught
how to give a blowjob to it fourteen years old
can thank me for it, Like I was that person.
And I really enjoyed being that person who could talk
about it like chicken fingers and French trucks, but with

(39:50):
a lot of science behind it. Yes, like bingo, that's me.
I don't just come at sex from a perspective of
just talking about the wishy washy goodness that it feels
a lot of my clients continue with painful sex or
a disconnect or a rectile dysfunction or performance anxiety, not
understanding the nuance of the biology and the psychology. Where

(40:13):
is the connection there? I think the psychology part is
really huge, especially because I'm such a mind body person
and my mind can be in a lot of places
and run anxious or require a level of safety that
can't just be turned on because it's you know, time

(40:34):
for sex in the bedroom and stuff like that. And
I share that for anybody who possibly can relate because
hearing you say that sex is multifectorial, I think is
the word that you use. There's so many aspects of it.
But in the movies we don't see that, right, Like
we see the passion kind of happened very quickly, and
you know, I think it can be scary to be

(40:55):
in your own body and not know what's going on.
If you think that, like just because you're with somebody
that you love or find a sexy, you're not in
the mood, right, Like, what does that mean about me?
And what will my partner think? And then like the
anxiety can become even more, which only for me creates
more of a mind body disconnect and then like, you know,

(41:16):
sex isn't gonna happen for me if I'm in that
disconnected place, I need to feel so safe, so grounded,
And that can be like a lot to provide. And
to your point, like maybe I need to read the
book to find out that the monster is me and
really do my own inner work on that. I think
everybody really does, because sex is not what we see

(41:38):
in the movies. It can be, it can be I'm
sure moments like that, but the reality is once you're
you know, married or in a partnership for an extended
period of time, like real life is happening, bills are
getting paid. Life is really hard. We've talked about that
a lot in this episode, like we're dealing with the
gravity of reality a lot of the times, especially once

(41:59):
you leave honeymoon phase of a relationship and then you
have to get sex scheduled into life, which involves pain
and and difficulty and all these all these emotions. So
I think that your question is really helpful to understanding
that everybody, I think, at some point goes through a

(42:20):
sexual functioning problem for lack of a better word, despite
their age, or a challenge with sexual functioning based on
a circumstantial event time experience, like we're all going to
go through, whether it be chronic illness, childbirth, parents, you know,
changing becoming parents, aging family members, and having no time

(42:43):
to feel sexy because your caretaking. But you know, there's
there's two things that I wanted to bring up in
this sphere that I think are huge and are good
to talk about. There's two things, one which is parentified passion.
I'm working on creating, which is where like you and
I were talking before we started record wording about you know,
doing classes and doing workshops and things like that. One

(43:03):
of the things that I really dreamed of doing is
doing a workshop for couples around parentified parents parentified passion.
So it's like how we our first experience of love
in the world is from our parents. That sets the
tone of what kind of love we want to receive
and provide. Then we find somebody to love romantically that

(43:27):
we have passion with, but then eventually that passion kind
of dies and then we we replace that with this
like parentified partnership where we take care of the other
person and they take care of us. And then that's
why sex dies because it's not sexy, Like you don't
want to suck your parents, and your parents don't want
to suck you. Right Like, I'm not going to get
into that whole offshoot, right but as a sex therapist,

(43:50):
like God, but I'm not going there today, not today, Satan,
But you know, I think just really thinking about how
we caretake each other and where the passion dies in that.
And aking of movies, there's a wonderful movie, Life as
We Know It. It's a really silly movie. It's about
um with Katherine Heigel and Josh Themal and it's about
their best friends die and leave behind a child for

(44:12):
them to raise together. And there was a really epic
scene in the movie. One of the other things that
I actually am reaching out to Syracuse University to see
if I could teach is they want to teach relationship
influence in movies and television, because I have a master's
in Television, radio, and film, so I'd like to kind
of begin to teach people who are creating media how

(44:32):
to start bringing light to things that we don't talk about,
like the stuff we're talking about today of like what
doesn't exist in the movies. And there's a really wonderful
scene in Life as we Know It where Katherine's high
goal is fighting with Josh themal and they're having this
insane intense argument and she's dating this new guy and
the new guys in the room and she goes over
to him and she's like, I'm so sorry they have

(44:53):
to witness that is such a fucking asshole, Like I
can't stand any such an asshole. And the boyfriend says
to her, like, you know, I really think the two
of you should be together, and she's like totally floored
and doesn't know where to put herself, like what are
you talking about? What? I fucking hate him? What do
you need? And he's like, Max, wife and I ended
things because we lost that passion. If only we had

(45:14):
that level of passion in a relationship, I think we
would still be together. And it speaks to like the
monster at the end of this podcast, right, which is
like it's in a in a long term partnership, these
really intensified feelings and emotions are totally normal. Give yourself
permission to have them, but also know how you need
to get them in check to maintain passion right. You

(45:37):
actually had a post that I really loved on motherhood
that touched on partnership as well, and you wrote a
constant state of exhaustion partner resentment for not being you
all whilst being in love with your kids and family,
but missing your old life when you had nothing to
do and no one to take care of but yourself,
but didn't know how to appreciate the simplicity of it all,

(45:58):
so you created the chaos that you're now living in,
which now you just call life. And the partner resentment
thing is what I kind of wanted to touch on
because I have spoken about, at least in the very
beginning of postpartum, my partner resentment with Evan, and a
lot of women felt very seen by that. And I

(46:19):
think hearing you say it as a sex therapist, you
know it's it's not spoken about a lot publicly, but
I assume it's spoken a lot behind the closed doors
of your office resum. However, you're conducting business right now,
and I think that we need to talk about that more,
because passion right isn't just loving your partner a lot,

(46:41):
it's sometimes hating them a lot, and that kind of
feels like what you were saying before. But hearing a
sex therapist or relationship therapist within that sphere kind of
say it's okay to have negative feelings about your partner
at times and then come back to your base is

(47:03):
so liberating because I think when we are feeling it,
we oftentimes feel too fearful to actually feel it, because
what will that mean about my marriage? What will other
people think about me? What if I let myself feel this,
will I destruct our relationship? Then I'll get divorced or
break up? You know, Like, but what if you just
allowed that to exist. I have plenty of places personally,

(47:25):
like girlfriends that I've met to about Evan all the time,
and the fact that they're safe spaces. It's like they
know that I like don't, at least this point in time,
want to divorce, and you know, they just like let
me have its a safe place. They do it about
their partner, and like, you know, it just kind of
works and it doesn't make me feel bad for having
these thoughts. I feel like is very therapeutic for me

(47:47):
to have that outlet rather than I feel like a
lot of relationships really tuck that away. They're afraid of
what people will think if they know that they have
these negative feelings about their partner. They want to, you know,
look like the perfect couple on Instagram and on this
U and that and right, yeah's a good word to
gag me with a very long bildo. I mean that
is just like the the idea, this perfect thing. Like

(48:12):
it's so honest, it's me. Like at the end of
the day, right like, who when you're listening to me
right now, I want you to stop, I think, put
your feet on the ground and then actually do it myself.
And like as you're sitting here and being grounded, right like,
I want you to think, is there anyone in the
world that you've ever just loved and never hated? Not

(48:35):
for me? Like have you that you've just loved and
never been mad at, never hated and like never felt
angry with angry with? Right? Like okay, fine, Like one
of the books I like, sneak peek, Like when I
finally finished this freaking ten tho your PhD that I'm finishing, Yeah,

(48:56):
I'm going to be dr blown, Like hopefully next month
that's a whole their podcast for us to talk about
what I uncovered in my research, because who is that crazy?
But well, I'd love to have you as a part
two because I didn't even get to like motherhood, I
VF stuff, all the rest of well, because that's all
what I did my PhD research, and so let's do
part two on that. But sneak peak, right is one

(49:17):
of the things that is what I'm done with this
PhD journey is I'd like to write a book called
The Gray about how we are so fixated on these
polarized spaces in the world and we just forget about
living very calmly in a gray space of you can
love your partner and hate them one day and still
feel really strongly for that person and have them in

(49:39):
your life and not have to like excommunicate them because
they did something not nice to you. Write like I
have empathy and appreciation for the women who were incredibly
nasty to me my entire life. I can thank them
for what they struggled with. And that's another book that
I want to write, write about bullying, like can we
find solace in the gray? In this space of like

(50:03):
having a relationship where maybe you love your partner one
day and you hate them the next, and that like
there are times. My my pediatrician Laura Popper in New
York City, brilliant woman said to me. I asked her,
I'm gonna give it in the way that I remember
the memory. But I had said to her, like, are
you married? She was like, I've been married sixty two times? Girl,
I was like sixty two times. I was like, I

(50:25):
can't find sixty two men I like. And she was like, well,
I've fallen in and out of love with my husband
sixty two times, and so it feels that way. And
I was like, what a healing moment, Like, yes, I
have fallen in and out of love with my husband
Ryan over the last twenty years. So many times there

(50:45):
are days where I'm like, Okay, what's divorce gonna look like?
And how are we going to spend our lives apart?
And where the kid's gonna live? And where the dogs?
I have a great Dane? Where does this fucking great
Dane live? Like? Where am I gonna ever live with
a great ding? What do I don't even want to
take the garbage out? Who's gonna take the garbage out?
I don't think any other man is attracted as him? Like,
whom I ever going to sleep with again, and it's
gonna be fun for like a night, but now I'm

(51:05):
gonna miss him, like all these thoughts, right, And then
I'm like, but then he comes that he comes like
you know, State nine, he gets to us, somebody walks out,
and I'm like, god, he's so cute, Like I love you,
You're so sweet, like like we're and he calls me
a polar bear, like because I'm polarized from one emotion
to the next. But like, isn't there some normalcy in that?
Don't you find normalcy in that? Like I wish we

(51:26):
talked about it more like you can feel all those
things and everything's okay. I yeah, I wish you were
around during my pregnancy because I specifically remember a moment
which Evan probably doesn't know about. But the good news
is I always give him ship for not listening to
my podcast. Now he's going to get it here. I'm like,
you could support my work, you know, by listening to
my podcast. There was a moment in my pregnancy where

(51:47):
he was traveling so much and working so hard, and
I respect him for that most days, but it was like,
this isn't gonna work, Like I am pregnant, and I
want to get divorced. And where did I make all
the wrong decision is in my life? Like how did
every decision that I made that felt so right up
until this moment? Like I'm so self assured in every moment,
but right now I swear I need to divorce him.

(52:08):
And you know that time came and left and I
love him and it wasn't like, you know, real but
it did bring emotions for real emotion, but it wasn't
a real action. Yeah, And it was, you know, scary
because like you said, I might have a baby in
my belly and all of a sudden I'm thinking of
I'm like, how the did I end up here? You know?
And and to your point you I think that we

(52:30):
have a really great foundation. And I hope that with
that wisdom from your your doctor, you know, I could
understand that two years into marriage, this is going to
happen a hundred more times. Oh thousands, there are sixty three,
as she said, hopefully. I don't know if I could
tolerate a thousand, but I'll take sixty three of those
moments where you're just like, you don't know the thousands
really is is probably much more accurate where you know

(52:53):
you recognize it in your relationship that you're going to
want to pull the plug on it and then you
re come back together or if that is the right
thing for you in this relationship. I personally have nothing
wrong with divorce and two people moving into separate directions
if if that were there at and that includes myself,
if I reached that point in time where I was
serious about it. You know, I think that it's important

(53:15):
to destigmatize divorce because it can often times be the
healthiest thing for both people as well as children. Not
sure your thoughts on that, people, Well, people ask me
all the time, like how do I know if I
should get divorced? Or how do I know? Right? Like
I I pushed this notion of like you fall back
in love a bunch of times, but like when is
enough enough? Right? And for me, I really look at
it from the perspective of like, first of all, if
you don't have children, and there aren't children in the

(53:39):
in the picture, the conversation becomes, you know, life is
nearly maybe another quart will become known for someday, but
it's like life is nearly an opportunity for you to
grow up and where you're in a relationship in a
monogamous relationship, is does a person you grew up to
be continue to be somebody that they grow into loving? Right, Like,

(53:59):
as your growing and they're growing, and you grow on
parallel streams like four streets, you know, next to each other,
does the person you grow into continue to love and
respect the person that they grow into? And we're divorce
becomes applicable. Is the person that you're proud of growing
into no longer respects sees eye to eye and it's
in a parallel space, or the person that they grow into.

(54:20):
And if you're not able to support each other and
respect each other in that growth, right, sometimes it actually
holds you back from becoming the best version of yourself
rather than encouraging you both to continue being the best
version of yourself. Right, And so like that's where divorce
really is appropriate, right, Or Like, when there's so much
trauma and pain and working through it is so difficult

(54:41):
and challenging, and it's just too emotionally exhausting, and who
you've grown into and no longer has things in line
with one another, that's where divorce and separation really comes
into play. And also I think you know I'm the
product of divorce also with my parents. Yeah, and you
know it's like my parents they are better off as

(55:02):
friends than they were lovers and partners emotionally. And I
learned that you can function in a household of divorce parents.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy for many years,
but like it is much better now. But I you know,
I've worked with clients where their relationship is so tumultuous
and so dangerous and things they say to each other
and the way they treat each other and the cruelties

(55:24):
that exist and the lack of you know, as like
a parent, if if you fight, fight, but also show
your kids how you make up right and like that
when the pain is so intense and children are constantly
exposed to that, Like, stop worrying about the social implications
or the I hate this is like tangential, but like
the financial implications. Yes, your life is going to financially

(55:44):
fucking change when you get divorced, and you're not going
to afford the things you afforded, and your kids might
have to switch schools and it might be life rocking, right,
but you're setting the tone for what your kid is
actually going to know to be love and like, how
do you really weigh that? And granted, like this is
not an easy thing for me to just speak to.
It's not like a three minute conversation, and it's very
person centric, meaning like each person's individual situation is very

(56:07):
different that you can tell. I'm super passionate about it.
I was going to say that I would love to
explore this conversation more, and if you're willing, we could
have you back on to talk about your PhD, to
talk about that, to talk about divorce, to also talk
about motherhood, entrepreneurship and your own IVF experiencing IS and
becoming a mother of two, which was like half of

(56:28):
what I wanted to get into today. But I could
honestly say that this conversation was probably hard for me
to say favorite of all my podcast because like that's
not the right word, and I take something away from everything,
but the way that this one flowed because you truly
live your truthious life. You're so authentically you, You're fearless,

(56:48):
you're embodied and what was the word that you use?
Self assured? You know, the words flew out of your mouth,
like I remember why I like to do at the
pool party twenty years ago. You know, thank you for me.
I have tears in my eyes. It's like I do live.
My truth is life. I'm not I'm not all that.
I'm all that and a bag of chips, and I'm
really all not that. I mean a lot of my

(57:09):
chips are crumpled at the bottom of the back right,
like they're still worth eating. But some of them are
not the greatest chips. Like that's just I'm all bad analogies.
But you've got them. They flow from you. Just it's
like my client's old joke, like can I please write
a book of analogies? When I moved, I lost my
paper with all my analogy You've got a fine sample.
I know, it's it's painful. You gotta find them. And

(57:30):
then when you find them, I would please digitalize them immediately.
And I have to because it's just devastating that I
don't know where they're I don't remember who it was
and said it. But the truth of the matter is, um,
you're growing until the day you die. Like when you
stop growing, you die. So you know, as long as
you commit to continuously growing, I mean, you have a
whole life ahead of you. And like how beautiful. Is
that great? Well and there, and I thank you for

(57:51):
your time. We're definitely gonna have you back on I'm
already going to send you an email as soon as
we get off here. I already know my audience is
going to love this and hopefully share it on social
media because I think we talked about a lot of
conversations today that people are struggling with feeling alone and
in their head. And I think there's great self reflection
points to walk away from after this episode as to

(58:13):
what am I afraid to admit? What am I afraid
to think about talk about really experience because I'm afraid
of further implications and a lot of questions to really
think about that that monster at the end of the
book and re you know, really visit yourself after this.
So thank you, Carly, and we will see you back
here soon. Thank you so much for having me. I'm
looking forward to coming back. Dr Blow. Thank you Dr

(58:35):
Blow soon to be or thanks for living your truths
life