Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hey, I'm Chris, I'm Andy, and this is my Vagina.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Said, what, we're back, welcome to another episode. We are
so glad you could join us. How do we even
have this job? I know, I'm having so much fun.
My mom was telling me this weekend.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
She likes her mission, which is to talk about all
the body stuff, right, but she can absolutely not get
over the name.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I know. I told my daughter's teacher about it, and
then I did. I told my daughter's teacher, oh my god,
I want a podcast contest Ris, and I told her
the name of the show TMI. No, not TMI. I'll
tell everybody. I'm sharing it with the world. So then
a couple days later she comes back and she tells
me that she's explaining to the other teachers the name
(00:58):
of the show how hard it was for her to
keep a straight face. She wasn't supposed to keep a
straight face. I know it's supposed to be funny. It
is funny and interesting. So what's been up with you?
When we FaceTime the other day, you had all these
dots all over your face. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I got a facial treatment, and I actually don't really
know what I got. I looked up their website the
other day because I was thinking, what treatment did I
just receive?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And I actually have no idea. You don't know what
you paid for. I really don't.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I went under all these different categories, right, all of
them sounded like that was what I had done.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
So what do you think you had done?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
It was like they took this plastic head and they
put it over my face and it made all these
dots impressions all over my head to kill off my
top layer of skin.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Okay, so was it like a laser? I don't know.
I really don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I told the lady I have sun damage and so
I have like uneven skin tone and I just wanted
to get that looked at.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
And she said, oh, we could do this, and I
said okay, and you don't remember what she said? No,
well I will say that your skin is glowing today.
You look great, Thank you. So it really works. Yeah,
I liked it whatever. It was nice.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
So I recommend that to all of our everyday vagina's
go out and just say I'll take whatever you recommend.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
How are you even recommending anything and you don't know
the name of it, I don't know. So what else
have you had dined.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Before that, I had tried microdermabilation, I'd done a vitamin
see facial and I.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Had derma bleeding.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Wow, and it just still wasn't changing my discoloration.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I want to get that microderm oblasion, like, I want
to get that to take off the top layer of
my skin, just to see what's underneath. You have beautiful skin.
I don't think you need to do that at all.
You don't see the dark spots that I see. No, well,
thank you, I appreciate that. I also want to get electrolysis.
I have like this spot on my chin that started
(03:24):
off with one hair and has grown into an area
that I have to take care of and manicure every day.
So I want to get electrolysis or a skin transplant.
That would be cool if I take the skin from
my ass and put it on my chin. Why the
skin from your eyes, because it's like the smoothest part
of my body. Oh, skin is nice.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Maybe they could rip off that tattoo you have on
your ass.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Funny funny, Yeah, that was a revenge tattoo. Why don't
you tell our listeners about it? About it was a
revenge tattoo. That's all I'm going to say it is
a bite makite and it is bleeding, it has blood,
and I hate it. At the time, it seemed like
a good idea.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Well, I do think it was a great idea because
I've gotten to make fun of you for it for
how long?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yeah? Ten years? Yeah, it's awesome, so it's been definitely
worth it for me. Yeah. Once I get a remove,
then what are you gonna make fun of? I'll find something.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I have bruises though all over my body as I've
gotten older, I run into one table and I am
a bruised catastrophe.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Does that happen to you? No, I can't really sympathize.
I have brown skin, so you don't get bruises. Not really.
It takes a lot for me to for a bruise
to actually show up.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
That's great, yeah, jelly, So, Chris, what is your vagina
saying to you today?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
It's actually my boobs that have been shouting for some attention. Oh,
my boobs are saying get some new bras.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Today we are talking boobs, or in my case, the
lack thereof. Chris, can you describe your titties for us?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
This is so funny. I mean describing my boobs humiliating.
I'm not really embarrassed. You know, my boobs are different sizes.
One is a C cup, one is a D cub.
So pretty much and I have no braws I fed. Yeah,
they've always been kind of saggy. My nipples came in
at the bottom. Okay, so they're like utters. My mom
(05:31):
used to call them utters, like milk utters. You had utters,
even as like a teenager. That's how they came in. No, lie,
they came in with the nipple at the bottom. And
when I was nursing my daughter, that just solidified the
whole utters terminology that my mom likes to use. Oh
my gosh.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, I would like to testify that I have seen
you in a bathing suit many a time, and I
have never thought you had saggy boobs.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I thought your boobs were beautiful. Oh, I thank you.
They do present well in a bra, and you get
beautiful cleavage. Oh I love my cleavage. Yeah, I'd be
lost without my boobs anyway. I've always appreciated the way
you love boobs. How would you describe yours?
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Deflated water balloons with a proportionally equal sized nipple.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Tater tots. You've always been so boob obsessed. I know.
My favorite boobs were when I was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I liked the look of my engorged nursing boobs, aside
from the veins, Like, the veins were a little much,
but the engorged size was nice. Obviously it came with
leakage and pain, but it would be worth it sometimes
for me to like let them swell up and walk around.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Oh, yeah, you were so proud of those breastfeeding boobs. Yeah.
I had zero chance of having boobs.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
So all the women on my dad's side are essentially inverted,
and my mom is very small chested.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Oh, my mom has perfect brasts. They're like a perfect
sea cup, the nipples on top. They are just a nice, solid,
beautiful boob. I've always thought my mom had beautiful boobs.
I think I got my moobs from my dad's side,
because now that I think about it, my mom's mom
my grandma had little boobs too. Yeah, so you must
(07:26):
feel pretty fortunate. I do. Yeah, I like them.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I know I like them looking at them right now,
and they look great. But we have to share the
funniest story of when you got so.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Mad at me.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Oh, my god, because you got called out for having
terrible bras.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It was embarrassing. It was embarrassing. So we had a
girl's weekend and we were sitting on the patio and
somehow the conversation got to bras, and then one of
them says, funny, I didn't think you had a bra on,
referring to Chris, who did not appear to have a
braun whatever. I think I had on some black thing
without any underwire. And because I do remember at the time,
(08:09):
I would cut the underwire out of bras and I
would buy the cheapest thing I could find. I almost
never bought bras. I just would keep them forever, and
I never realized that I needed a new bra until
they called me out. So we went to the store
because the outlets were nearby.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
W We took rewind and talk about how offended and
mad she was at us for calling out her for
not having a good bra on.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Of course I was offended. I was old to just
be finally buying decent bras.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Clearly, because when we got to the store and you
took your shirt off and started trying bras on in
the middle of the store as clearly your first time
ever doing that.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
No, obviously it wasn't the first time, you know, and
I did, and I okay, so so in my defense,
I was at the back corner of the store, first
of all, not in the middle of the store. Secondly,
I was trying bras on top of my existing crappy
bra that you could see right through. You could see
(09:16):
and you could not see through it. I do remember distinctly.
It was black and you could not see through it.
I think it, anyway, a nude colored bra. Yeah, I
think you're just jealous because I got tits so mean. Anyway,
it was then that I realized that I should be
investing in myself and buying decent bras. And I had
(09:36):
never felt what a well fitted bra felt like, and
it was amazing. I loved it. And since then I
make it a point to go out and buy new
bras every couple of months. I'm pretty much due now
for some new bras every couple months, every six months
or so.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Seriously, Yeah, I keep my bras for a good fifteen
plus years. But I'm also the kind of girl I
get home and I rip that thing right off my bat.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
So do I. But it is generally recommended that you
buy a new bra every six to nine months. Who
recommends that? Well, I think I found it on Google somewhere.
You are just looking for a reason to buy brash
that too. I am loving all of my new bras,
I really am. They can last a really long time.
I have some bras that are pretty old. Granted they
(10:28):
are probably from the era before I was buying decent bras,
so they don't count. I probably should just pitch them.
I was just gonna say that, so good job for
catching yourself. Shut up. But I do try to take
care of the bras that I have. For the most part,
I do try not to dry them. I'm not saying
they never get dried, because every once in a while
(10:49):
I want to get tossed in the dryer and it
just is what it is. But I try to take
care of them. And I'm really a fan of the
Tea BAC front closures. They are the most comfortable to me,
and I can pretty much make it so that my
shaps don't show. That part is nice. This strap's not showing, right.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
So yeah, well, we are gonna go pe real quick.
We're gonna compare bras. I want to see if she
has a front closure on right now, because that sounds
like she is an old lady.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It will be right back, thanks for sticking with us.
A front closure bra is not an old lady bra.
I think it might be, really, because that's what my
daughters and she's fifteen. Oh yeah, so now it's not
an old lady bra. It is. It is. I'm not
showing you how about that? Okay, we're back. You know,
(11:57):
I was just thinking about how important and boobs can
be to a woman. You know, I was so stressed
about losing my boobs when I stopped nursing. I almost
wanted to keep nursing my fifteen month own.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah, I remember having that fear too. Boobs can be
so defining for us as women, kind of like our
hair can be.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yes, that's so true. Do we define men by their balls? No,
but we talk about them. Who talks about balls? I
don't talk about balls. Do you talk about balls? No?
I guess we could if we wanted to. I guess
we could, but no, I don't talk about balls. But
I do think that you know, men's balls sag, just
(12:38):
like our boobs do, and it's very unfair. Why are
we talking about balls anyway? Oh? That's right, because I
brought it up. Whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I still remember bullet boobs Betty, the lunch lady from elementary.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Oh, I had one of those too, you did, I did?
It was like a big cone.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I hope that that is just an American institution. Everybody
gets a bullet boobs Betty in their lunch. Actually, I
think the lunch ladies nowadays they're fly. Oh yeah, they
don't wear those same bras. What were they made of?
I don't know, because they were erect as a street.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Cone, so pointy.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah, and it makes me think of Dolly Parton, Pamela Anderson,
people who are just really defined by their boob.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
They really are. Okay, well, anyway, are your boobs the
same size?
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Hmm?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
They're both non existent. That's interesting, and it's actually kind
of rare why one boob is usually about one fifth
larger than the other bob. And guess which boob is
usually larger.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I love fifty to fifty. I'm gonna go left.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yes, Okay, for me, it probably would be the right
because I have this thing where my right hand is
bigger than my left. I have like one big hand
and one like one masculine one feminine hand. You have
one man hand, I have one man hand. That's exactly
the case. Yes, because I am extremely right handed, like
I do almost nothing with my left hand. So as
(14:08):
you could guess, I bet you my right boob is
probably the D cup and my left boob is the
C cup.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I really do have sympathy for how difficult it must
be for you to find a bra. They should make
that since so many women have this issue of having
different size breasts, you should be able to go online
and buy a bra that accommodates if you have it
one D boob and one C boob.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
You should be able to buy a brawl like that.
I agree. I'm pretty jealousy you too. I would love
to wear two top. You can go outside without a bran.
Can you imagine me in a two top with no bra?
They'd be on the floor. According to the World Population Review,
the average breast size varies by country. So I'm going
to say a country and then you guess with the
(14:55):
average boob sizes, and I'm going to do the US last. Okay, okay, Russia.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
I'm thinking a gymnast, so I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
A See that's weird because I'm thinking like Russian babuskas.
Oh like the lunch lady. Yes, I'm thinking like D's.
But it's actually B or C oh okay, all right,
all right, So China, I'm gonna go a double A
or A. Okay, that was a good guess. England, I'm
gonna go b C Okay, Yeah, they got some titties. Zimbabwe,
(15:34):
that's gonna have to be an A. Really, why would
you think that? Because it's Africa, I know, but I'm
thinking Africa, big boobs, black women.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
You's the one national geographic magazine of an African with
enormous boobs.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
I know. No, I'm just thinking black women in general
tend to be on the larger side, especially when it
comes to boobs and stuff. You know. But no, you
were right, it's any it's actually double A okay, which
is surprising. Not me. Columbia. Mmm, I'm gonna say C.
(16:12):
It is bcyes Okay, hey us, I'll say see that
was a good guess. You're right. Okay, you did good.
Thank you, you did good. I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Now that you got us talking about this, can we
take a pause real quick, let's look up who has
the biggest boobs in the world.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Oh, that's such a good idea. Hold on. Okay, So
it's Annie Hawkins Turner, originally from Atlanta, Georgia. She boasts
the world's largest natural breasts. Her gigantic size is one
two triple z weigh nearly eighty five pounds each, which
(16:55):
is heavier than the average four year old child. Stop,
we've over, I have to see. Yes, look at this picture.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Oh my god, my gosh, Annie, you are a national treasure. Yes,
holy cow, we gotta post this for our everyday vaginas.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Oh, her breasts are massive.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Did you know that when you exercise, your breasts move
in a figure eight shape?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I did not know that because I do not exercise.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Oh, I think mine make more of a comma. And
did you know that sleeping on your stomach can actually
change the shape of your breasts?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Seriously? Can we not even sleep without consequences?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I know, maybe I need to sleep suspended horizontally over
my bed to let my boobs be taken over by gravity.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Gravity is the enemy of boobs and balls, because again
they're saggy too, and no one ever talks about that.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Here we go again, now, you kenet bringing up the balls.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, you know, booms are the female balls. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
What do you like best about your boobs and what
are your greatest challenges?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Truth to be told, As much as I complain about
my nibbles, they are my favorite part really because they're massive.
I like that they're so big. They're about the size
of the end of my pinky. I like the size
of my boobs. They're like my security blanket. Like if
they get any smaller, I think I will be really
uncomfortable with it. I wouldn't mind if they were both
(18:29):
a sea cup and not one D one C. So
I wouldn't mind if they were both a sea cup,
but any smaller than that and I don't know, I
would feel awkward. Okay, And what is your greatest challenge?
That they're so saggy, like I wish I could get
a boob lift. Okay, so my nibbles can put up
top like my mom's. What about you? What do you
(18:53):
like best and what do you like least?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I think I like how they don't get in the
way I don't have to wear a bra.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And I think my greatest challenge would be not having
boob envy. If you don't like your boobs so much, andy,
why don't you get a boob job? I don't know,
I guess I just try not to care about it.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
And as a side note, one of my favorite things
about boobs is all the funny names that we can
call them, some ridiculous things like tigo bitties.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Tig oh bitties, that's a classic. What about headlights, sweater meat?
I like sweater.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Meats, naughty pillow, ill bazonga, a rack, chest puppies, sweater stretchers,
breast is fun bags, chesticles, breastcle.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
What is your favorite term? I like titties. I'd say
my favorite is boob. Yeah, you would say boob so predictable.
We have an everyday vagina here. Her name is Tiffany,
and she's here to tell us about what she had
done to her boobs. Tiffany, what type of breast augumentation
(20:21):
did you have done? So?
Speaker 5 (20:23):
I had a breast reduction. Okay, it's caused because by
the time I was a senior year in high school,
I was a triple D slash E in one breast
and a triple D in the other.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Oh, so they were different sizes, Yes, triple D slash E.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
Yes, so I was in sports, and I was wearing
three sports brawls at that time.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Oh my gosh, that had to be really difficult, especially
on your back. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
So that's actually why I first thought about the breast reduction.
I was visiting my nurse practitioner for something at the time,
I don't remember what, and she noticed that I had
divots in my shoulders and I told her, well, obviously low,
but because they were so uneven, Like everybody's boobs are uneven,
(21:25):
I think, but when you're that large, the unevenness is
a lot more obvious. Right, So what it was doing
was causing a lot of back pain. And she actually
took an X ray of my back and my spine.
You could like see the muscles kind of like twisted
(21:46):
around it because they were compensating for the unevenness.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Oh. If you asking what size were you pants wise.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Senior, I was probably a size twelve slash fourteen.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Okay, so I were small and I found ten yeah, right,
which means you were pretty small, yeah, to have such
large breasts.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Yeah, I wasn't overweight. I mean, I wasn't a twig,
but I wasn't obese.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
And so how old were you when you got the reduction.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
So that was around eighteen nineteen. I didn't get the
reduction until my right after I graduated college. I was
twenty two.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And how was the record?
Speaker 5 (22:26):
Yeah, and my nurse practitioner actually suggested it and it
was covered by insurance because of the X ray showing
the tension on my back and because I had divots.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Wow. So what was the recovery?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Like?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
It was?
Speaker 5 (22:46):
It was bad, It was not pleasant. The surgery itself
was a little over five hours.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
That's a long surgery.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
Yeah. And they have you like in kind of a
your kind of sitting up a little bit with your
arms out the whole time, so your arms get really sore. Yeah,
they have you inclined so that they can get the
position correct because I have the old I know they've
come a long way, but I have the old school
what they call the anchor scar, so underneath the boob
(23:19):
and then up to the nipple and around the nipple.
So they literally remove mine. Wow.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Are you happy with the results?
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Yes? So I actually went down to a D, just
a single D, and they're even. So they were they
were even okay.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
And then when I.
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Had babies and just from like gaining weight, and losing
weight as we do over the years. The left one
was the extremely large one, and now the right one
is slightly larger.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Okay, are you happy with the results.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Yeah, I mean the craziest thing is that the divots
went weigh like almost instantaneously.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Here's another fun fact. When I went in for my
consultation appointment, they weighed my boobs. They literally put a
scale on the table and I like flop them up.
They were eighteen pounds. Oh oh oh day and they
told me that they removed four pounds.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Nice, you got an eight pound reduction, ye, weight loss overnight? Yeah?
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
So yeah, I would actually, i would totally recommend it
to anybody. I'm sure they've come a long way. I
mean this was what twenty years twenty three years ago.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, So, like you said, they did change after you
you had children.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Yeah, they still well, they changed after children, and then
you know, I got I lost like thirty pounds. They
changed again. It's kind of like anytime the weight fluctuates,
they still change. They never got as big as they were.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, but what's your cup size now?
Speaker 5 (25:04):
I'm probably a double D.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
A double D is a nice size.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
Yeah, I'm definitely a double D in the right boob.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I have the same problem though I have one boob
that's a D and one that's a C cop. So
I'm struggling with my bras I.
Speaker 5 (25:24):
Know, and you I know. It's it's such a pain
because the bigger you are, the more noticeable the size differences.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yeah, thank you so much, Tiffany, great and helpful information.
All right, The next every day vagina we have for
you is Sam.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Welcome Sam, Thanks, Andy and Chris. So what led you
to pursue your breast enhancement?
Speaker 3 (25:49):
When I was younger, as I was developing, I was
quite lopsided, and I went to see a doctor about
if there was anything I could do to fix the
symmetry of my bread.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
So noticeably lapsided, even as like a younger teenager at
that age, or was it as you got into say,
early twenties, I.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Would say high school, okay, was very noticeable. Once I
was in a the other side was a strong B.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
And when you went to the doctor, how did they
handle that? What did you come up with?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
The plastic surgeon actually did some testing and found that
I had Poland syndrome, which is when one side of
your body is weaker than the other side, so he
felt that that was a result.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Of the bigger breast.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Yes, wow, okay, And so you got a breast enhancement
just on one side, correct, Yes? And then afterward were
they able to size it properly to make them look symmetrical?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Yes, like I've been told I have a tear drop
titties and they both look like tear drops, very very symmetric.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Amazing. And did they feel the same.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
I think they do, yes. But I also did spend
a lot of time after the surgery. They gave advice
to rub the breast so that the scar tissue doesn't
build up in forming it hard, and I made sure
I did that.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Do you recall what kind of implant you received?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
I did have a saline.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Implant, okay. And what was the recovery like?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Very easy?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
It was just.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Minimal stitching around the nipple that they lifted to make
the breast symmetrical, and there was this tiny scar under
my breast where the implant was inserted.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
So overall, were you happy with the results?
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Extremely?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Ah? And still now I wish I was bigger.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Okay, All right, do you have any advice for somebody
who is considering getting an implant, just do it. Thank
you so much, Sam, very helpful, and thank you for
being willing to share your story with our listeners. Yeah.
I love when women tell me about their boobs. I
(28:11):
always learned so much.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
This was fun boob talk, it was I hope you
all enjoyed hearing about our boobs and what our bodies
are saying to us. For comments, questions, or to let
us know what your body or vagina is saying to you,
please email us at Myvagina Said What at gmail dot
com DM and follow us on Instagram at hashtag my
(28:34):
vagina Said What. Listen, subscribe and rate us on Seneca Women,
in iHeartRadio, or wherever you listen.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Our vagina knowledge is based solely on our experience as
vagina owners.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Please see your doctor if you have any concerns about
your vagina What