November 3, 2022 • 49 mins
For more than two decades, Kelly Ripa has been welcomed into millions of people’s homes, kitchens, and even bedrooms, as the co-host of ABC’s daytime talk show “Live!” And it’s easy to see why: she’s funny, warm, and perpetually self-effacing. And those same endearing qualities come through in her writing, too. Her first book, “Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories,” is a collection of hilarious, revealing, and tender memoirish essays that highlight moments of transition in her life — from meeting her husband on a soap opera set, to her awkward tryout for “Live!”, to dropping her youngest child off to college and facing an empty nest. On this episode of Next Question with Katie Couric, Katie and Kelly talk about it all, including their shared frustrations working in the male-dominated media industry and what it was like for Kelly to set the record straight on a few false headlines.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, I'm Katie Curic, and this is next question.
I really like Kelly Rippa, and I'm guessing some of
you listening really like her too. After all, she has
been welcomed into living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens, and morning routines
for more than two decades as the co host of
ABC's morning talk show Live first with Regis Bilbiny Times
(00:25):
Do Dynamic Duo, then with Michael Strahan, There's Live and
now with Ryan Seacrest, Good Morning, Good Morning. On the
show and in person, Kelly has always been funny, warm
(00:47):
and self effacing, and it turns out she's exactly the
same way as a writer. Her first book, a collection
of memoir ish essays called Live Wire, Long Witted Short Stories,
is out now, and we have such a fun time
chatting about her career, her family, and the curious ways
our worlds and jobs have overlapped. So enjoy. Can I
(01:13):
just say, I'm so excited to see you. I loved
your book. Thank you. How meaningful it is when someone says,
sincerely and honestly that they loved your book because I
felt like I got to know you better. I just
really enjoyed being in your world. I thought you were
(01:33):
so funny because well, obviously you're really funny. Your last
chapters honestly made me cry because made me think of
my kids. You write all about Cindy walking off and
kind of being in this space of your life as
an empty nester. So I'm really I'm really excited to
be here to talk to you about it. And I
(01:54):
think one of the things, one of the many things
I learned about you in the book, Kelly, is that
you're actually introverted, um, and you're shy, and you don't
really love social occasions. And then I thought about the times,
you know, the occasions I have had the opportunity to
be with you socially, and I thought, oh, that's so funny,
because Kelly is actually kind of shy and and and
(02:18):
not super um outgoing at these at these things. And
it made me realize, you know, everybody's sort of insecure,
and I feel shy sometimes at these I do I
feel um, you know, I I feel once in a
while kind of just uncomfortable in my skin, or you know,
(02:40):
or people do I have somebody to talk to? You know,
all those things that I think everybody feels, no matter
who you are. But the fact that that you're kind
of agoraphobic. Actually, what was was really surprising to me.
It's funny, I almost as you now know from knowing me.
I think that the two times I went out this year,
you were at both both events big events. Um, I
(03:05):
am really just a home body. Um, I come from
a family of home bodies. It's I think it's definitely
like a hereditary skill set. But I also think it's
sort of how you're wired, don't you. Yeah, I'm hard
wired to just prefer the comfort of under my bed,
I mean under the sheets, I mean hiding under my bed.
(03:26):
But I also would think, Kelly, so much of your
job is being out there and being outspoken and being
and sharing that when you have your alone time, you
don't necessarily want to be like black. Yeah, I just
feel like there's uh as you know, when you host
a morning show, you're in people's houses every day. They
(03:49):
get to see you. You know. I think it is
high honored to be welcomed into people's living rooms and
breakfast tables. Still in this day and age, with so
many other options. The fact that we are still chugging
away and we're still there and people are still welcoming
us is a high honor. I don't take that for granted.
(04:09):
It's not lost on me that there are so many
other choices they could make, but they still tune in
for us. But at the end of the day, I'm like, okay,
and now people need a break from me. So I
try to, you know, be as invisible as possible when
I'm not there, you know what I mean. So I
don't go to movie premiers and I don't go to
(04:32):
fashion events, and I don't go to all of that
stuff because I value my off time, but I also
value like giving America needs a break. I don't know
if people feel that way, but I think it's also
because it's been very important for you to have some
(04:52):
separation between your home life and your work life. Yeah,
I've always prioritized my home life the most most because
I feel like that's where my real work was. You know,
I wanted to and I'm very much like you. I know,
you and I were frequently the only moms at the
track field, the only you felt like winter but it
(05:15):
was fall and we'd be the only ones standing there.
Because I feel like when you're a working woman and
sometimes the morning routine you have to miss a lot.
You are forced to miss a lot, so those events
that you can attend, you are super attentive. Right And
at the end of the day, I was really trying
(05:37):
to raise good people, responsible people, conscientious people, and I
feel like we are, you know, in that respect. Thank god.
I take nothing for granted, but so far they've really
held up their end of the bargain. Well, I like
that that quote from Jackie Kennedy that says, if you
(05:58):
bungle you raise and your kids, nothing else really matters.
And it sounds like you and Mark have done a
great job raising good human beings. We've been very fortunate,
you know, but you well, I think it also put
the work good Yeah, you put the work, and it
comes from good parenting. And we had good parents. I mean,
our parents are I mean, they're very lucky, and you're
(06:22):
so lucky. Although your mom I wondered if she I
felt like you didn't write about your mom that much,
and and uh, and I I wish I had gotten
a little more sense of your mom. You thanked her
at the end of the book, but I thought it
was funny when you told her you wanted you were
going to go to therapy. She said, you're gonna spend
a lot of money trashing me basically, basically, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
(06:46):
I think generationally my mom was too. I think nobody
even knew about therapy, much less talked about it from
our parents generations. But I wondered if your mom like
wanted you to write a little bit more about So
I'll give you the heads up on my mom. Kelly
gives us the lowdown on her mom and why she
chose not to write about her in this book that's
(07:09):
right after this, So I'll give you the heads up
on my mom. Number one. Let me just say this
is not a memoir. Have short stories. So you know,
(07:30):
if I ever do, if I ever do crawl out
of the whole of being overwhelmed from writing this book,
of course I would write about my mom. In totality.
My mom is very much like everything I wrote about her.
I would read to her and then she'd be like,
get rid of that, get rid of this, get rid
of Like she didn't want me to talk about her
(07:51):
at all. She's like she takes my introversion and turns
it like a hundred degrees up. Um. But when I
asked her, because we're currently living with my parents, right now,
which is funny because she's great, she's doing so well.
She had heart surgery, she's she's making such an amazing recovery.
(08:13):
Her doctors and nurses have been extraordinary. And it's very
funny because you go from empty nesters and then suddenly
like your nest is full. But older people who are
like them, it's so nice. It's nice for all of us.
We're really enjoying their characters. And so I said to
my mom, um, Mom, have you read my book yet?
(08:37):
And she said, no, I'm not going to read your
sex book. I said, what what are you talking about? What?
I didn't write a sex book. She goes, well, not
according and now right away, I know that my aunts
are sending her the headlines right from whatever Google alert
or whatever it is. Right So she said, you've written
(08:59):
a sex book book, and I don't want to read
about you doing you know what with you know who.
And I said, it's not a sex book. As a
matter of fact, there's very little sex in this book.
It's just too advance a story in in the order
in which it happened, and and and and I and
there's a disclaimer at that chapter. If you're related to me,
(09:21):
in any way, Please skip to the next chapter, don't
read this. You know. So, I'm very conscientious in writing,
but she proved my most challenging, almost as challenging as
my daughter Lola, who wanted me to take out any
and all references to her um But so you know
it's I wrote this very thoughtfully with people in mind,
(09:42):
and I didn't want to put in anything that they
found objectionable. So you know, that's why there's not so
much of my mom, because she was not funny. I
don't know your mom, but I was like, I feel
a little protective, I guess because of course I think
you all obviously have this. This great my mom is.
My mom is the probably the funniest person any of
(10:06):
us will ever know. But I don't even think she
thinks she's funny. She's being completely serious and deadpan about
everything she says. Well, why you know, you say it's
not a memoir, It is a collection of short stories,
UM stories, And I love the title and this secondary title,
whatever you call it. How did you find the connective
(10:29):
tissue that would you know? First of all, I guess
enabled you to pick what you were going to write about.
But that would make sense for the reader. So there
were two hundred more pages in this chapter, and a
lot was cut out. I mean in the book, in
the I mean in the in the book forgive me.
In the book, there were two hundred more pages. So
there's a lot that was taken out. My editor, Carrie Thornton,
(10:53):
God love her, this woman. She stacked the book. I
had the book completely stacked differently. I had it more
chronological and in its order. And she said, let me
stack these chapters the way I feel they connect, because
you're too close to this book at this point. I
(11:14):
really wanted to start backwards with the last chapter and
work my way to the beginning. And she was like
you now, because you've written, now you think you're also
an editor and you don't know what you're doing. And
I said, did you read the chapter on asshole syndrome?
Now I'm an editor too. It's like anything I if
(11:36):
I see it, then I believe that I can do it. Um.
And I you know, having read so many great books
by so many great authors, yours included, I you know,
I mean, thank god, And I think I told you
this when you came on my show. Thank God your
(11:57):
book came out. When I had essentially finished my book,
because if I had read your book, I wouldn't have
written my book. Does that makes no? I wouldn't I would.
I would have been like, I can't. I'll never read
a decent word in my life. I'll never write anything decent.
It's not good. It's not. But ignorance really is bliss sometimes,
(12:18):
and so I like blissfully and ignorantly went into this
saying I've read books, therefore I can write books. Well,
you know, I think you sell your yourself short Kelly.
First of all, I think you're really fun clever writer.
I wish I had dog eared some of the pages
(12:39):
because um, you know, it's very uniquely you. So I
don't want you to sell yourself short that way. Well,
it's funny. I would send the chapters as I would
write them, and some of them were written and rewritten
and re rewritten, like I'm sure you felt the same way.
I would write a chapter five or six times before
(13:00):
I found it right, and I would send it to Mark,
who was mercifully living in Vancouver at the time. So
he people are will say to him, you know, was
it hard for you while she was writing this book?
And he says no, she was great, And I said,
he has no idea how insufferable I was, you know,
(13:21):
for our forty five minute discussions a day, I would
turn on all the charm and try to hide the
hideousness of the self doubt and the and the me
pacing around the bedroom and trying to like construct a sentence.
But I would send the chapters to Mark first. He
was sort of my pre editor, and he would call
(13:44):
me back face time, me back, and he would say, wow,
I thought this chapter was going to be about something else. Entirely.
I didn't see that coming. And that's when I would
know I got it right. You know. I waited for
him to say, oh my gosh, the it's the funniest thing,
or how did you remember that? How do you recall that?
And I would say, you know, when I write in
(14:06):
those journals at night, and you think that I'm just
like making lists of things I have to do, it's
that's what I'm doing. I'm actually writing down the things
that I want to remember for And it was Andy
Cohen who told me to do that many years ago,
years and years ago. I remember Jean Chalotte. I think
I might have mentioned this in my book. I can't
(14:27):
even remember Jilly, what's in it? What's not that that?
Jane Shallotte said you should talk into a tape recorder
when I got my job on the Today Show. He said,
every day talking to a tape recorder, just talk about
like what the day was like, what an interview was like.
I was like, Jane, that is such a good idea,
And of course I never did it. And I'm not
a journal er either, so it was but thank God
(14:50):
for the Internet because I could retrieve so much. Thank
god I'm a pack rat because I could look back
on speeches and my calendars and all sorts of other
things that reminded me. But Andy was a really good
friend to have you do that, and I'm sure it
was extremely helpful in writing the book. I wanted to
ask you about Mark because obviously you guys have an
(15:11):
incredible relationship UM, which is so nice, so nice to see,
and I know you wrote about you know, we were
not supposed to make it and people in show business,
but I do think you guys are both um very
much mired in your respective values of your families and UM.
But I did laugh at when you first met him,
(15:31):
and it was when you were on all my children,
and he was coming in to audition for and you
saw his head shot and basically he had you at
not even Hello. There was the head she had me
at Mark and Sulo's actor. And then you come out
in curlers. I think you had zip medicine, had toothpaste
(15:52):
at toothpaste because I tried every other remedy, and I
had show curlers too. I had those giant velcrow rollers,
you know, the ones that looked like coke. So I
had those because you know, we always say like on
a soap opera, the bigger the hair, closer to Emmy's. Yeah,
clo you get. So I had these coke bottle rollers.
(16:15):
And it didn't have any makeup on because I was like,
for some reason, my scenes were at the end of
the day and it's like it's not a first come,
first serve. It's like, whoever is up first, you're in
makeup first. So no makeup on. It is giant pimple
because why wouldn't I and I had covered it with
cold Gate toothpaste, but cold Gate on. We decided for
(16:37):
some reason at the soap that cogate was the best
for getting rid of zits. When all else fails. Um right,
and so I walk in and he is there because
he was brand new to show business. He had never
auditioned for anything, and here he was screen testing for
a soap opera and he had no idea what a
(16:57):
screen test was, the same as me. When I screen tested,
I thought it was a written exam. And I'm not kidding,
and you you know how you yes? I mean, I'm
no longer at that place in my life where when
now I'm brave enough to say no, I'm sorry. I
don't know who or what you're talking. And I also
love that you've discovered how to say no that doesn't
work for me, that which I can't really do. But
(17:18):
we'll talk about that in a minute. I send you
my therapist and she'll make you practice in front of
a mirror. You know, you can't even say no, I'm sorry.
That doesn't work for me. You know, take that I'm
sorry out, But you tried to. I can't do that. No. No,
I learned how to do it, but it took. And
I'm not kidding. No, that doesn't work for me. That
(17:40):
doesn't it's but it's not it's not cold or mean.
It's something that people say to us all the time. Um,
they're usually men. And then there's and so you so
we Uh. I think it's not just the nature of
our business because as I've been on a book tour,
(18:01):
so I'm meeting I'm meeting people from all sorts of
industries that I had really dialed into that particular chapter. Um,
because they are utilizing my no, that doesn't work for me.
And guess what, you know, this is free advice. It's
not a self help book, but this is free advice.
(18:21):
I spent thousands of dollars on therapy to learn to
say no that doesn't work for me. But again, it
was hard for me. I had to practice and practice.
I kept saying no, I'm so sorry, and she would
maybe ask me next year, asked me, yes, ask me
in a year, because they will, they'll ask you in
a year. They market down. Even my husband was like,
(18:44):
don't say that, because they're going to come back and
you have to say no again exactly. And so I
was in this place where I was saying yes, yes, yes,
or oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that doesn't work
because I have seven other conflicts. But you know, if
there's some other day, oh yes, we'll work around your schedule.
(19:04):
You tell us what day you don't have EIGHTI seven
other things. So when you say no, that doesn't work
for me, it sort of stops any and all advancement
of any other conversation. And it works like a charm
every single It works a hundred percent of the time.
A hundred percent of the time. All Right, I'm going
to try it. Alright, No, that doesn't work for me.
(19:25):
You're going to have to practice it in the mirror.
I can see you already vacillating. You're formulating that. I'm
so sosign a pleaser. I understand, and I too, am
a reformed pleaser. It's like there should be a self helpleaser.
Is anymous pleaser is anonymous? P My name is Katie,
(19:45):
and I'm a pleaser. Katie, Katie. By getting back to
Mark and the cold gate on your face, did you
really do a tap dance when you first saw him?
I mean I did tap dance. You kind of were like, know,
I mean it was that was what I was doing.
It was like, you know, I was like, oh my gosh,
(20:12):
I really said to him. I vomited words at him.
He was spell bound a good way and not in
a good way. He was spell bound, and and he
doesn't recall what I looked like at all. He always
goes back to I was just trying to get a job,
and I was warned that actors were strange, and so
(20:34):
you just seem like a strange actor. And I was like,
did I you know? But I was so um, I
don't know. I wanted to engage him in some way
and let him know that, you know, I look at
how low maintenance I am with I'm the girl with
the cold gate on her face and the Cooke bottle
(20:55):
rollers in her hair. Totally uh, totally comfortable with my
future husband seeing me this way. Isn't that funny? But
it's wonderful that you know that you guys did connect
that he wasn't like security. Yeah exactly. I mean, first
of all, he should have filed a restraining order. But
second of all, it was this weird thing where I
(21:17):
knew again I'm not a believer in love at first sight.
I've never been a hopeless romantic. I'm like, very pragmatic.
I'm a practical lady, you know. Uh, And I've never
It's so funny. I never decorated a dressing room ever
in my life until like my fifteenth year at Live.
(21:41):
My fifteenth year at Live, I decorated my dressing room
because I was like, I think they're gonna think They're
probably just going to carry me out, or maybe TV
will end. I don't know. But I was so practical.
I never wanted to keep things around that I would
have to pack into a box and leave, you know
what I mean. It felt like a waste of time.
So people would always walk into my dressing room and say,
(22:04):
is your dressing room being redecorated? And I'd say, no,
this is my dressing room. Why why do you ask?
It's so barren and terrifying looking. And I said, well,
you never know. Every day could be your last day. Um.
So to be a person that suddenly found themselves dreaming
that I was married to this person, this complete stranger,
(22:26):
and that we were flying to Rome together on an
airplane with a baby made no sense. And then I
the next day at the screen test, as I talked
about in the book, I vomited that out at him.
I said, I had a dream, you know, I had
a dream, dream baby, okay? Um? And so I told
(22:52):
him about this dream and he was so non threatened
and grown up about the whole thing, and he sort
of just and you know, the room fell into a hush.
There were ten other guys. They're also auditioning for the
role of Matteo, who seemed spellbound by this conversation. He
(23:13):
was like not even halfway paying attention. He was writing down,
blocking and taking notes. And I said, remember me from yesterday.
So glad it turned out the way, But it shouldn't have.
I mean, it should file the restraining order. I should
probably should have been fired. I mean I broke every
role that well, I guess they didn't exist yet. It
(23:34):
was the free willing nineties. But but wasn't the US.
It wasn't the rules. There were no rules. And so
um I somehow became his friend. We became friends, and
we really started liking each other and respecting each other.
And we had, um we had read the same books,
(23:56):
we found the same um. You know, we were both
at the time following the Rwandan genocide and nobody was
talking about it except us, so we would talk about
it to each other and um, you know, and we
had a lot of commonalities even though we grew up
(24:16):
very different our parents. He was born in Spain, was
born Florida. Well, he was born in Spain and then
lived in Italy until he was seven. His father was
in special operations for the military and so, and then
they moved to Lebanon, Illinois, and then they he went
to high school in Florida. UM, so he moved around
(24:39):
quite a bit. And then I was born and raised
in the same house my mother was raised in. My
grandfather built the house himself. And but the South Jerseys,
the South Jersey. I was from the South of Jersey.
It was really fun to read that with the accent
and the mayor of East Town and and what what
(25:00):
you use some words that the way people like the
Philadelphia Eggles you know, you're going the Eggles game and
some other things. You know my name, you know, back
in high school they would have called me Kelly Rippet,
you know the right. Yes, it's like, oh, sound like
(25:22):
e used Yeah. Um ours are like yeah, it's like
it's like a heart. You do some very funny phonetically.
Phonetically it's almost impossible to understand. Yeah, you said, you
say begel, you say right in Like imagine taking a
(25:43):
spelling test when you're in third grade. Beans, beans, yeah,
they fan. Yeah, you have a Ham fan Like I
got a hard time doing it. Now. I love it though,
because you're so proud of being from South Jersey. I
just love it. But now I'm hearing, you know, people
who have read this book. I hear from the North
Jersey ors all the time. You know, we're not Fonsy
(26:07):
the way you think we are. And I was like, oh,
it sounds like a little self defensive to me. Don't
hate our blueberries. After the break, Kelly and I chat
about finding our footing in the media boys club. There's
(26:31):
so much we could talk about, Kelly. But I do
want to ask you, obviously about just because I think
we have a lot in common being a woman, uh
fulfilling kind of the role of an archetype, being put
in a box and and sort of not being able
to expand outside the borders of that box. And but
(26:55):
but I want to ask you about your Live experience
because it was so sorre to me. Not although not really,
but you know, it sounds like the whole thing was fraught.
I would say that that fraught at least the beginning
of your career at Live, because you were sort of
wide but sort of not, and it wasn't like it
(27:16):
was just this bizarre wooing process that wasn't really wooing,
but just kind of like, we've got to fill this
role and she's there, and it was a very uh
it was. It must have been a very strange experience.
And I think you captured really well in the book. Yeah,
thank you. Kind of what a mind funck. Excuse me,
(27:36):
it was right, Yeah, it was very strange because, um,
you know, I did not know. And again, much like
writing a book, ignorance sometimes really is bliss. I was
sort of baffled. I did not understand that there were
these two separate organizations, the network and the local affiliate
(27:58):
station W eight BC. Okay, they were partners in this show,
but they were enormously The heads of both organizations were
enormously distrustful of one another, less so on the ABC
network side and more so on the w a B
because the w ABC probably had a bit of an
inferiority complex. Well, I think they also felt like, well,
(28:20):
we were broadcasting this show locally. Now here they come
and they want to make it a national show, and
now they're going to try to control us, or who
do they think they are? Or whatever. This is me
thinking aloud. You know, I'm not representing this in the book.
I'm just saying I'm thinking aloud as to what the
what was the basis of this strange dynamic, strange dynamic
(28:42):
that I could not possibly understand because I was living
under this assumption that we were all on the same channel,
so we were all friends and Synergy and Disney and
La La La, and I did not realize that because
I was so wanted by the network, that I might
not be wanted to buy the W E B W
(29:05):
a BC faction right. And I didn't realize that until
much farther along. You know, Lauren R, my producer for
the podcast, was saying that, you know, Kathy Lee didn't
have that issue because she and Regious started together, but
then he was established. He probably felt or maybe that
(29:27):
contingent felt they were being bigfooted or forced to do
something by the network and not necessarily, Um, we're on
board with it, or you know, looking back on it,
what do you think you could have done to smooth
things over a little bit? Do you think, because I
think it's not that dissimilar from my experience at CBS
(29:49):
where Les Moonves, the head of Entertainment wooed me, but
I never got the complete buy in by the news division.
And I think that if I had politically, and I'm
not very political, unfortunately, if I had politically like gone
to different people within the news division and really kind
(30:10):
of won them over, or at least had the knowledge
that they didn't want me there or they didn't want
me there, it would have been maybe slightly different. Do
you look think back on I. I mean, it's so
you know, it's it's it's so interesting you say that.
And that's why I'm very careful to point out that
certainly wasn't Regis his fault. You know, I never blame
(30:32):
him in this book. I don't blame him at all
because he was a signed, a co host, and this
is a man that had earned his place in show
business and he had, you know, kept that train on
the track. So do you think if you had said,
I want to make sure Regis is okay with this,
that it might have made the transition easier. I think
(30:53):
that I was so unaware that he wasn't that he wasn't.
I never occurred to me that he would not have
the stamp of approval. You know what, I mean when
even when they said to me, it's not his choice
to make, it's our choice, and I was like, but
it should be his choice, and they said, well, we're
not going to force a host upon any other host,
(31:17):
you know, and then you realize, like that's totally untrue,
like that's exactly what happened, and and and it makes
me feel sad for for him. But I think eventually,
eventually we did like have a smooth like we smoothed
it out, like we worked. Because I'm a very honest
(31:39):
and earnest person, and like you, I am not political.
So it never occurred to me that I had to um,
I didn't even understand the dynamics, Like who would I
have spoken to? I thought I was speaking to the
people I needed to speak to. And I thought that
just me being there and being very deferential, and me
(32:03):
waiting my turn and taking my place and taking my
lums and accepting responsibilities for things that had nothing to
do with me, and playing that game. I thought that
I was doing all of that. I thought I was
doing all of the right things. You know, this is
where I think agents sometimes fall down on the job.
You know, they're so concerned with salaries, but they don't
(32:26):
actually make sure that the environment that they're putting clients
in is the right one. And I think the best
agents would really, you know, even those who call themselves managers,
would really take it upon themselves to help guide someone
and help smooth other of these rough edges and have
(32:47):
the foresight to understand that this dynamic might not be
helpful for their clients. Right. And it seemed to be
exactly the previous statement was, it's more about the money
and the salary and their coin operators, and it was
more about UM not necessarily being concerned with what was
(33:11):
best for me or for Regius um, or it was
being concerned with the bottom line and UM not. You know,
even even the times I said, you know, this is
becoming this seems to be very challenging, and I feel
like I'm getting abused in the at least in the
(33:31):
tabloid press, I was very abused and uh, and there
was sort of this hands up, well, there's nothing we
can do about it. What do you want us to
do about it? You know? I know you say that
you you smooth things over, but it sounds like like
there were issues all along, and that even when we
(33:52):
just left the show, there was some kind of tension
or resentment, not that I was aware of, no, no, no,
it was it was like literally after the fact, and
like ten years after the foot but saying, like to
Larry King, misrepresenting kind of you. And you know, it
(34:13):
seems like he sort of from my impressions from the book,
when when you wanted to have a closer relationship, he
was a little talk to the hand ish it. He
believed and and because he had done the show for
so long that if you are working together, that is
where it begins and ends, and then you have your
(34:33):
life out. Any company think that was the case with
Kathy Lee too. I don't know. I don't know the
nature of their relationship. Again, I think power dynamics are
very different, and when you're two equals, that's a very
different thing than what I was perceived as coming in
as a secondary host. So I can't you know, It's
like I can't know that. I don't know what it
(34:55):
was like. I just know that these were the rules
that were established, like the conversations at had to be
saved for the air and only for the air, you know,
And was he worried that if you had more of
a social relationship, it might change the dynamic. I mean
I remember thinking that with Matt and Brian, I didn't
want to hang out with them, not that they wanted
(35:16):
to hang out with me. I didn't really want to
hang out with them because I thought, what if I
get mad, or what if someone says something, or what
if somebody gets drunk or It's like, I don't I
don't want that to interfere with our professional relationships. Well
that's what I said. I was like, only in this
day and age is now like we had a very
professional relationship, and now that has looked with like some
(35:39):
sense of scorn. And I said, there was a time
where that was to be revered professionalism in the workplace.
You know. Um, but you know, it's one of those
things that I feel like whatever notes we hit, we
hit correctly. And those the reason I transcripted those parts
(36:00):
of the book is because I wanted it to be accurate.
My opinion or my thought process as to that should
not like should not interfere as as to the reality
of what was said. It's like, these are the facts.
We saw each other. I saw him, he was on
(36:23):
our show, But then this interview happened where he said
he hadn't and was never invited, never called, and and
so I thought, because I'm an idiot, I thought, well,
it's also easily irrefuted, irrefutable, and these the press will
(36:44):
do its job and say, actually, he was on the
show a few months ago, Actually he's been. And it
was like radio silence. That story just spread like wildfire,
and I was baffled. I couldn't believe of it, and
I went I remember going into work the next day
and my producers all looked stricken, you know, kind of
(37:10):
they felt bad for me. I think they felt bad
for me, like I that it was being so misrepresented.
It was being misrepresented. Why do you think, why do
you think we just did that? I don't know. Ye
in the book, I don't know, and I still don't know.
And you wanted to basically set the record straight. I'm
not an abandon er. I don't abandon People's not my thing.
(37:34):
And and it's interesting because the reaction, I'm sure, the
tabloid reaction to this book, um, which I was sort
of warning you of. I think when I came on
the show, where things are taken out of context, twisted
or obviously conflicts cells right. But the only reaction to
the book was that that my husband made me pass
(37:58):
out while we were having sex. I mean that was
like that. That was the headline of the book. That's
a good story, which you're going to have to get
the book. Really is Mark dress Kelly and a really
bad outfit when she passed out to the hospital. But
that was the that was the big takeaway. And I
kept saying, what about the Regis stuff? Has that gotten
(38:19):
some some negative press? No? Just yeah, But that was
the only press that it got because I think people
read it and understood it and it was and went,
oh my gosh, it all makes sense now. Like so
you feel like you achieve what you set out to
in terms of not not not the whole book. I'm
(38:40):
just talking about that sort of misunderstanding and the fact
that you wanted to correct the record, which because I
think we're entitled to correct the record, especially if it's misrepresented.
So that's why I, like I said, I don't represent
my opinion. I represent everything in transcripts because I think
it's more to have a transcript on record. And you know,
(39:04):
and again this is like one chapter. It's like it's
like I like people to focus on the book and
its totality, but I would be remiss if I didn't
talk about my transition into that show, because it's such
a huge part of my life. Of course, while I'm
with your sister, I mean, I feel this the same
way about what I wrote about my book and various experiences.
(39:27):
It's I feel like not it's not a burn book.
I disparage anyone, I leave the reader. And again, people
who have read the book have a very different you know.
They It's the reason there were no headlines about that
chapter is because it's not headline generating, you know, and
(39:50):
people who have read it have this kind of understanding
about what it's like to work in a place that
it's not like organ an it where it's not two
people getting to know each other. It's like fast. It
happens fast. Everything happens fast, right, And then to have
something misrepresented about you in the press, what do you do?
(40:13):
Do you just hope it goes away or do you
set the record straight in real time? That's the whole
point of the story, you know, is that? But was
it frustrating? Because I do think there were some headlines
and I think that's what Kathie Lee was responding to
Um that that that did misrepresent what you were saying
in the book. Now I know there there really weren't.
(40:37):
I mean that the headlines were not disparaging, they were
not misrepresentative. That's what I was so surprised by the
headlines generated was that reaction to not headlines. So I
was sort of fascinated by, oh my gosh, these are
(40:58):
headlines that are now based on a non reader of
the book, and before that there were no headlines. And
so it really did like, ultimately, I think, you know this,
like book sales are. It's really a very word of mouth.
And I'm not I'm not somebody that believes it all
(41:21):
pr is good press is good press. I don't believe that.
But when it comes to selling a book, it is
apparently it is, as you know, as you are now aware.
And so it's one of those things where I went,
oh my gosh, it's so funny, Like I felt like
there there was a moment where I couldn't get my
book mentioned in in Vanity Fair in you know, glamour
(41:46):
in the New York Times, and then suddenly I can,
and it's like that shocking weird I go and here
I am again in this conundrum. Do I set the
record straight or do I just say thank you? And
I chose to say thank you. One of the things
that you know, you write about and is the fact
(42:06):
that you didn't have an office, You didn't have a desk,
you had no place to put your computer, and um,
I didn't have a computer. You didn't have a confiding
that one. You know, but it took a while for
you to feel like you were part. Yeah, it sounds
like sort of a high school click that you couldn't penetrate.
And it kind of made me mad at at at
(42:26):
Michael Gellman, you know it did. It made me mad
and I was like, Okay, he's the executive producer of
the show. He should be he should be supporting Kelly,
he should be creating a culture where she's welcomed. And
it made me mad. You know, I don't think it's
his fault. I really don't. I don't put any responsibility
(42:48):
on him. I think it was a way that's not true. No,
I I understand, and a lot of people think like
they think they put it down to one person, like
well he's the boss. There there are so many people
that were over his head and over all of our
heads that were worked above us. And you know, I
(43:11):
had and still have a great working relationship with him.
And he has to walk a very fine line, a
tight rope. That's a tight rope walk not showing favorites,
not picking favorites, not and like say, and keeping your
own job in the process. It's hard. That's hard work.
And anytime something seems easy, it's hard, you know. And
(43:33):
so he's been the executive producer of that show for
all eight hundred and seventy two seasons or whatever, you know.
And it's like, I don't blame him because I think
he was doing the best he could in a very
in a very delicate situation. It was also a different time,
you know. One of the things that people, I think
(43:55):
sometimes don't understand. They read things that happened in the
past through a lens of the present exactly. And that
was also very profound, that was very You cannot do
this to the lens of the pressent. You should do
this for a living. You're very good. But no, you're right.
But that's why in the book I keep reminding everyone,
(44:17):
if like women were created kind of like sex class citizens,
and that's the way it was. And I write about
it in the context of the time, because it's important
for people to gather the context of the time. These
were not unheard of things. This was not an ONI
was a very male dominated industry and U you know,
(44:38):
and full of big egoes and and so it was complicated. So, um,
what are you thinking about your future? Are you loving
where you are? Still? You know, as somebody who did
a morning show for fifteen years and and really appreciated
every day. But it started to feel like groundhog Day
at some point, where like how many segments it's about?
(45:00):
You know, what are the best genes for your body?
I could I do? I also think about, you know,
the young blood fresh people coming in. I think about
it all the time. I'm very cognizant of that, you know,
and I discussed it a lot, you know, every time
we have somebody on the show that's young and funny
(45:22):
and effervescent or even you know, by young, I mean
just younger than me, you know, um, effervescent, interesting. I
always I always turned a gouman and I'll say, you know,
you should you should look at her first. You should
look at her for you know, co host. Like when
I go on vacation ever sit in a chair with
Ryan um and and same with guys. I look at
(45:44):
guys and I'm like, you know, you should take a
look at this guy. Because I'm very cognizant. I believe
that as a franchise show. I don't think I'm the
host of the show. I don't think the shows a
success because of me. I don't think it's a success
because of any one person. It is a group effort
and come on, your important people like continuity, but they
(46:09):
also enjoy that shot in the arm of the you know,
the breath of fresh air. Remember when you were the
breath of fresh air. I remember when I was the
breath of fresh air. You know what I mean? I
remember that, you know? Uh? And so you don't want
to be like the the person you don't want hot breath? Yeah,
you know what breath garlet stuff that stayed around too long.
(46:33):
But when you think about it, do you think like
five years, two years, or do you think of do
you think like that? You know? I mean I think
if I thought like that, I would really you know,
if I thought like in terms of years, it would
be really too terrifying. I still would not have gotten
past three years. You know, if they said three years
(46:55):
from now, I'd be like three years. It's more of
a I think you know, and you know you know,
and and and when they know, they know, you know,
and I think it's got to be that group discussion
and hopefully you know before they know. Well, I mean,
I think I actually think I do know. I'm not
(47:15):
willing to actually discuss it if you generate all sorts
of panic stricken headlines, but um, you know, I have
a very good idea it is. You know, it is
definitely like a finite amount of time. I'm not I'm
not you know, working there. You're not going to be
walking No, No, I'm not. It's it's not a forever job,
(47:39):
and nor should it be. You know, everybody should get
to I mean, I wish everybody could experience it and
they might have a better uh comprehension of how difficult
it can be. Sometimes is um, but it's mostly a
high honor to be welcomed into people's homes, you know.
(48:01):
Kelly Ripper's book is called Live Wire Long Winded Short Stories,
and it's out now. Next Question with Katie Kurik is
a production of I Heart Media and Katie Curic Media.
The executive producers Army, Katie Curic, and Courtney Litz. The
(48:23):
supervising producer is Lauren Hansen. Associate producers Derek Clements and
Adriana Fasio. The show is edited and mixed by Derrick Clements.
For more information about today's episode, or to sign up
for my morning newsletter, Wake Up Paul, go to Katie
Currek dot com. You can also find me at Katie
Curic on Instagram and all my social media channels. For
(48:45):
more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart
Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows,
Hi everyone, I'm Katie Curic, and this is next question.
I really like Kelly Rippa, and I'm guessing some of
you listening really like her too. After all, she has
been welcomed into living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens, and morning routines
for more than two decades as the co host of
ABC's morning talk show Live first with Regis Bilbiny Times
(00:25):
Do Dynamic Duo, then with Michael Strahan, There's Live and
now with Ryan Seacrest, Good Morning, Good Morning. On the
show and in person, Kelly has always been funny, warm
(00:47):
and self effacing, and it turns out she's exactly the
same way as a writer. Her first book, a collection
of memoir ish essays called Live Wire, Long Witted Short Stories,
is out now, and we have such a fun time
chatting about her career, her family, and the curious ways
our worlds and jobs have overlapped. So enjoy. Can I
(01:13):
just say, I'm so excited to see you. I loved
your book. Thank you. How meaningful it is when someone says,
sincerely and honestly that they loved your book because I
felt like I got to know you better. I just
really enjoyed being in your world. I thought you were
(01:33):
so funny because well, obviously you're really funny. Your last
chapters honestly made me cry because made me think of
my kids. You write all about Cindy walking off and
kind of being in this space of your life as
an empty nester. So I'm really I'm really excited to
be here to talk to you about it. And I
(01:54):
think one of the things, one of the many things
I learned about you in the book, Kelly, is that
you're actually introverted, um, and you're shy, and you don't
really love social occasions. And then I thought about the times,
you know, the occasions I have had the opportunity to
be with you socially, and I thought, oh, that's so funny,
because Kelly is actually kind of shy and and and
(02:18):
not super um outgoing at these at these things. And
it made me realize, you know, everybody's sort of insecure,
and I feel shy sometimes at these I do I
feel um, you know, I I feel once in a
while kind of just uncomfortable in my skin, or you know,
(02:40):
or people do I have somebody to talk to? You know,
all those things that I think everybody feels, no matter
who you are. But the fact that that you're kind
of agoraphobic. Actually, what was was really surprising to me.
It's funny, I almost as you now know from knowing me.
I think that the two times I went out this year,
you were at both both events big events. Um, I
(03:05):
am really just a home body. Um, I come from
a family of home bodies. It's I think it's definitely
like a hereditary skill set. But I also think it's
sort of how you're wired, don't you. Yeah, I'm hard
wired to just prefer the comfort of under my bed,
I mean under the sheets, I mean hiding under my bed.
(03:26):
But I also would think, Kelly, so much of your
job is being out there and being outspoken and being
and sharing that when you have your alone time, you
don't necessarily want to be like black. Yeah, I just
feel like there's uh as you know, when you host
a morning show, you're in people's houses every day. They
(03:49):
get to see you. You know. I think it is
high honored to be welcomed into people's living rooms and
breakfast tables. Still in this day and age, with so
many other options. The fact that we are still chugging
away and we're still there and people are still welcoming
us is a high honor. I don't take that for granted.
(04:09):
It's not lost on me that there are so many
other choices they could make, but they still tune in
for us. But at the end of the day, I'm like, okay,
and now people need a break from me. So I
try to, you know, be as invisible as possible when
I'm not there, you know what I mean. So I
don't go to movie premiers and I don't go to
(04:32):
fashion events, and I don't go to all of that
stuff because I value my off time, but I also
value like giving America needs a break. I don't know
if people feel that way, but I think it's also
because it's been very important for you to have some
(04:52):
separation between your home life and your work life. Yeah,
I've always prioritized my home life the most most because
I feel like that's where my real work was. You know,
I wanted to and I'm very much like you. I know,
you and I were frequently the only moms at the
track field, the only you felt like winter but it
(05:15):
was fall and we'd be the only ones standing there.
Because I feel like when you're a working woman and
sometimes the morning routine you have to miss a lot.
You are forced to miss a lot, so those events
that you can attend, you are super attentive. Right And
at the end of the day, I was really trying
(05:37):
to raise good people, responsible people, conscientious people, and I
feel like we are, you know, in that respect. Thank god.
I take nothing for granted, but so far they've really
held up their end of the bargain. Well, I like
that that quote from Jackie Kennedy that says, if you
(05:58):
bungle you raise and your kids, nothing else really matters.
And it sounds like you and Mark have done a
great job raising good human beings. We've been very fortunate,
you know, but you well, I think it also put
the work good Yeah, you put the work, and it
comes from good parenting. And we had good parents. I mean,
our parents are I mean, they're very lucky, and you're
(06:22):
so lucky. Although your mom I wondered if she I
felt like you didn't write about your mom that much,
and and uh, and I I wish I had gotten
a little more sense of your mom. You thanked her
at the end of the book, but I thought it
was funny when you told her you wanted you were
going to go to therapy. She said, you're gonna spend
a lot of money trashing me basically, basically, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
(06:46):
I think generationally my mom was too. I think nobody
even knew about therapy, much less talked about it from
our parents generations. But I wondered if your mom like
wanted you to write a little bit more about So
I'll give you the heads up on my mom. Kelly
gives us the lowdown on her mom and why she
chose not to write about her in this book that's
(07:09):
right after this, So I'll give you the heads up
on my mom. Number one. Let me just say this
is not a memoir. Have short stories. So you know,
(07:30):
if I ever do, if I ever do crawl out
of the whole of being overwhelmed from writing this book,
of course I would write about my mom. In totality.
My mom is very much like everything I wrote about her.
I would read to her and then she'd be like,
get rid of that, get rid of this, get rid
of Like she didn't want me to talk about her
(07:51):
at all. She's like she takes my introversion and turns
it like a hundred degrees up. Um. But when I
asked her, because we're currently living with my parents, right now,
which is funny because she's great, she's doing so well.
She had heart surgery, she's she's making such an amazing recovery.
(08:13):
Her doctors and nurses have been extraordinary. And it's very
funny because you go from empty nesters and then suddenly
like your nest is full. But older people who are
like them, it's so nice. It's nice for all of us.
We're really enjoying their characters. And so I said to
my mom, um, Mom, have you read my book yet?
(08:37):
And she said, no, I'm not going to read your
sex book. I said, what what are you talking about? What?
I didn't write a sex book. She goes, well, not
according and now right away, I know that my aunts
are sending her the headlines right from whatever Google alert
or whatever it is. Right So she said, you've written
(08:59):
a sex book book, and I don't want to read
about you doing you know what with you know who.
And I said, it's not a sex book. As a
matter of fact, there's very little sex in this book.
It's just too advance a story in in the order
in which it happened, and and and and I and
there's a disclaimer at that chapter. If you're related to me,
(09:21):
in any way, Please skip to the next chapter, don't
read this. You know. So, I'm very conscientious in writing,
but she proved my most challenging, almost as challenging as
my daughter Lola, who wanted me to take out any
and all references to her um But so you know
it's I wrote this very thoughtfully with people in mind,
(09:42):
and I didn't want to put in anything that they
found objectionable. So you know, that's why there's not so
much of my mom, because she was not funny. I
don't know your mom, but I was like, I feel
a little protective, I guess because of course I think
you all obviously have this. This great my mom is.
My mom is the probably the funniest person any of
(10:06):
us will ever know. But I don't even think she
thinks she's funny. She's being completely serious and deadpan about
everything she says. Well, why you know, you say it's
not a memoir, It is a collection of short stories,
UM stories, And I love the title and this secondary title,
whatever you call it. How did you find the connective
(10:29):
tissue that would you know? First of all, I guess
enabled you to pick what you were going to write about.
But that would make sense for the reader. So there
were two hundred more pages in this chapter, and a
lot was cut out. I mean in the book, in
the I mean in the in the book forgive me.
In the book, there were two hundred more pages. So
there's a lot that was taken out. My editor, Carrie Thornton,
(10:53):
God love her, this woman. She stacked the book. I
had the book completely stacked differently. I had it more
chronological and in its order. And she said, let me
stack these chapters the way I feel they connect, because
you're too close to this book at this point. I
(11:14):
really wanted to start backwards with the last chapter and
work my way to the beginning. And she was like
you now, because you've written, now you think you're also
an editor and you don't know what you're doing. And
I said, did you read the chapter on asshole syndrome?
Now I'm an editor too. It's like anything I if
(11:36):
I see it, then I believe that I can do it. Um.
And I you know, having read so many great books
by so many great authors, yours included, I you know,
I mean, thank god, And I think I told you
this when you came on my show. Thank God your
(11:57):
book came out. When I had essentially finished my book,
because if I had read your book, I wouldn't have
written my book. Does that makes no? I wouldn't I would.
I would have been like, I can't. I'll never read
a decent word in my life. I'll never write anything decent.
It's not good. It's not. But ignorance really is bliss sometimes,
(12:18):
and so I like blissfully and ignorantly went into this
saying I've read books, therefore I can write books. Well,
you know, I think you sell your yourself short Kelly.
First of all, I think you're really fun clever writer.
I wish I had dog eared some of the pages
(12:39):
because um, you know, it's very uniquely you. So I
don't want you to sell yourself short that way. Well,
it's funny. I would send the chapters as I would
write them, and some of them were written and rewritten
and re rewritten, like I'm sure you felt the same way.
I would write a chapter five or six times before
(13:00):
I found it right, and I would send it to Mark,
who was mercifully living in Vancouver at the time. So
he people are will say to him, you know, was
it hard for you while she was writing this book?
And he says no, she was great, And I said,
he has no idea how insufferable I was, you know,
(13:21):
for our forty five minute discussions a day, I would
turn on all the charm and try to hide the
hideousness of the self doubt and the and the me
pacing around the bedroom and trying to like construct a sentence.
But I would send the chapters to Mark first. He
was sort of my pre editor, and he would call
(13:44):
me back face time, me back, and he would say, wow,
I thought this chapter was going to be about something else. Entirely.
I didn't see that coming. And that's when I would
know I got it right. You know. I waited for
him to say, oh my gosh, the it's the funniest thing,
or how did you remember that? How do you recall that?
And I would say, you know, when I write in
(14:06):
those journals at night, and you think that I'm just
like making lists of things I have to do, it's
that's what I'm doing. I'm actually writing down the things
that I want to remember for And it was Andy
Cohen who told me to do that many years ago,
years and years ago. I remember Jean Chalotte. I think
I might have mentioned this in my book. I can't
(14:27):
even remember Jilly, what's in it? What's not that that?
Jane Shallotte said you should talk into a tape recorder
when I got my job on the Today Show. He said,
every day talking to a tape recorder, just talk about
like what the day was like, what an interview was like.
I was like, Jane, that is such a good idea,
And of course I never did it. And I'm not
a journal er either, so it was but thank God
(14:50):
for the Internet because I could retrieve so much. Thank
god I'm a pack rat because I could look back
on speeches and my calendars and all sorts of other
things that reminded me. But Andy was a really good
friend to have you do that, and I'm sure it
was extremely helpful in writing the book. I wanted to
ask you about Mark because obviously you guys have an
(15:11):
incredible relationship UM, which is so nice, so nice to see,
and I know you wrote about you know, we were
not supposed to make it and people in show business,
but I do think you guys are both um very
much mired in your respective values of your families and UM.
But I did laugh at when you first met him,
(15:31):
and it was when you were on all my children,
and he was coming in to audition for and you
saw his head shot and basically he had you at
not even Hello. There was the head she had me
at Mark and Sulo's actor. And then you come out
in curlers. I think you had zip medicine, had toothpaste
(15:52):
at toothpaste because I tried every other remedy, and I
had show curlers too. I had those giant velcrow rollers,
you know, the ones that looked like coke. So I
had those because you know, we always say like on
a soap opera, the bigger the hair, closer to Emmy's. Yeah,
clo you get. So I had these coke bottle rollers.
(16:15):
And it didn't have any makeup on because I was like,
for some reason, my scenes were at the end of
the day and it's like it's not a first come,
first serve. It's like, whoever is up first, you're in
makeup first. So no makeup on. It is giant pimple
because why wouldn't I and I had covered it with
cold Gate toothpaste, but cold Gate on. We decided for
(16:37):
some reason at the soap that cogate was the best
for getting rid of zits. When all else fails. Um right,
and so I walk in and he is there because
he was brand new to show business. He had never
auditioned for anything, and here he was screen testing for
a soap opera and he had no idea what a
(16:57):
screen test was, the same as me. When I screen tested,
I thought it was a written exam. And I'm not kidding,
and you you know how you yes? I mean, I'm
no longer at that place in my life where when
now I'm brave enough to say no, I'm sorry. I
don't know who or what you're talking. And I also
love that you've discovered how to say no that doesn't
work for me, that which I can't really do. But
(17:18):
we'll talk about that in a minute. I send you
my therapist and she'll make you practice in front of
a mirror. You know, you can't even say no, I'm sorry.
That doesn't work for me. You know, take that I'm
sorry out, But you tried to. I can't do that. No. No,
I learned how to do it, but it took. And
I'm not kidding. No, that doesn't work for me. That
(17:40):
doesn't it's but it's not it's not cold or mean.
It's something that people say to us all the time. Um,
they're usually men. And then there's and so you so
we Uh. I think it's not just the nature of
our business because as I've been on a book tour,
(18:01):
so I'm meeting I'm meeting people from all sorts of
industries that I had really dialed into that particular chapter. Um,
because they are utilizing my no, that doesn't work for me.
And guess what, you know, this is free advice. It's
not a self help book, but this is free advice.
(18:21):
I spent thousands of dollars on therapy to learn to
say no that doesn't work for me. But again, it
was hard for me. I had to practice and practice.
I kept saying no, I'm so sorry, and she would
maybe ask me next year, asked me, yes, ask me
in a year, because they will, they'll ask you in
a year. They market down. Even my husband was like,
(18:44):
don't say that, because they're going to come back and
you have to say no again exactly. And so I
was in this place where I was saying yes, yes, yes,
or oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that doesn't work
because I have seven other conflicts. But you know, if
there's some other day, oh yes, we'll work around your schedule.
(19:04):
You tell us what day you don't have EIGHTI seven
other things. So when you say no, that doesn't work
for me, it sort of stops any and all advancement
of any other conversation. And it works like a charm
every single It works a hundred percent of the time.
A hundred percent of the time. All Right, I'm going
to try it. Alright, No, that doesn't work for me.
(19:25):
You're going to have to practice it in the mirror.
I can see you already vacillating. You're formulating that. I'm
so sosign a pleaser. I understand, and I too, am
a reformed pleaser. It's like there should be a self helpleaser.
Is anymous pleaser is anonymous? P My name is Katie,
(19:45):
and I'm a pleaser. Katie, Katie. By getting back to
Mark and the cold gate on your face, did you
really do a tap dance when you first saw him?
I mean I did tap dance. You kind of were like, know,
I mean it was that was what I was doing.
It was like, you know, I was like, oh my gosh,
(20:12):
I really said to him. I vomited words at him.
He was spell bound a good way and not in
a good way. He was spell bound, and and he
doesn't recall what I looked like at all. He always
goes back to I was just trying to get a job,
and I was warned that actors were strange, and so
(20:34):
you just seem like a strange actor. And I was like,
did I you know? But I was so um, I
don't know. I wanted to engage him in some way
and let him know that, you know, I look at
how low maintenance I am with I'm the girl with
the cold gate on her face and the Cooke bottle
(20:55):
rollers in her hair. Totally uh, totally comfortable with my
future husband seeing me this way. Isn't that funny? But
it's wonderful that you know that you guys did connect
that he wasn't like security. Yeah exactly. I mean, first
of all, he should have filed a restraining order. But
second of all, it was this weird thing where I
(21:17):
knew again I'm not a believer in love at first sight.
I've never been a hopeless romantic. I'm like, very pragmatic.
I'm a practical lady, you know. Uh, And I've never
It's so funny. I never decorated a dressing room ever
in my life until like my fifteenth year at Live.
(21:41):
My fifteenth year at Live, I decorated my dressing room
because I was like, I think they're gonna think They're
probably just going to carry me out, or maybe TV
will end. I don't know. But I was so practical.
I never wanted to keep things around that I would
have to pack into a box and leave, you know
what I mean. It felt like a waste of time.
So people would always walk into my dressing room and say,
(22:04):
is your dressing room being redecorated? And I'd say, no,
this is my dressing room. Why why do you ask?
It's so barren and terrifying looking. And I said, well,
you never know. Every day could be your last day. Um.
So to be a person that suddenly found themselves dreaming
that I was married to this person, this complete stranger,
(22:26):
and that we were flying to Rome together on an
airplane with a baby made no sense. And then I
the next day at the screen test, as I talked
about in the book, I vomited that out at him.
I said, I had a dream, you know, I had
a dream, dream baby, okay? Um? And so I told
(22:52):
him about this dream and he was so non threatened
and grown up about the whole thing, and he sort
of just and you know, the room fell into a hush.
There were ten other guys. They're also auditioning for the
role of Matteo, who seemed spellbound by this conversation. He
(23:13):
was like not even halfway paying attention. He was writing down,
blocking and taking notes. And I said, remember me from yesterday.
So glad it turned out the way, But it shouldn't have.
I mean, it should file the restraining order. I should
probably should have been fired. I mean I broke every
role that well, I guess they didn't exist yet. It
(23:34):
was the free willing nineties. But but wasn't the US.
It wasn't the rules. There were no rules. And so
um I somehow became his friend. We became friends, and
we really started liking each other and respecting each other.
And we had, um we had read the same books,
(23:56):
we found the same um. You know, we were both
at the time following the Rwandan genocide and nobody was
talking about it except us, so we would talk about
it to each other and um, you know, and we
had a lot of commonalities even though we grew up
(24:16):
very different our parents. He was born in Spain, was
born Florida. Well, he was born in Spain and then
lived in Italy until he was seven. His father was
in special operations for the military and so, and then
they moved to Lebanon, Illinois, and then they he went
to high school in Florida. UM, so he moved around
(24:39):
quite a bit. And then I was born and raised
in the same house my mother was raised in. My
grandfather built the house himself. And but the South Jerseys,
the South Jersey. I was from the South of Jersey.
It was really fun to read that with the accent
and the mayor of East Town and and what what
(25:00):
you use some words that the way people like the
Philadelphia Eggles you know, you're going the Eggles game and
some other things. You know my name, you know, back
in high school they would have called me Kelly Rippet,
you know the right. Yes, it's like, oh, sound like
(25:22):
e used Yeah. Um ours are like yeah, it's like
it's like a heart. You do some very funny phonetically.
Phonetically it's almost impossible to understand. Yeah, you said, you
say begel, you say right in Like imagine taking a
(25:43):
spelling test when you're in third grade. Beans, beans, yeah,
they fan. Yeah, you have a Ham fan Like I
got a hard time doing it. Now. I love it though,
because you're so proud of being from South Jersey. I
just love it. But now I'm hearing, you know, people
who have read this book. I hear from the North
Jersey ors all the time. You know, we're not Fonsy
(26:07):
the way you think we are. And I was like, oh,
it sounds like a little self defensive to me. Don't
hate our blueberries. After the break, Kelly and I chat
about finding our footing in the media boys club. There's
(26:31):
so much we could talk about, Kelly. But I do
want to ask you, obviously about just because I think
we have a lot in common being a woman, uh
fulfilling kind of the role of an archetype, being put
in a box and and sort of not being able
to expand outside the borders of that box. And but
(26:55):
but I want to ask you about your Live experience
because it was so sorre to me. Not although not really,
but you know, it sounds like the whole thing was fraught.
I would say that that fraught at least the beginning
of your career at Live, because you were sort of
wide but sort of not, and it wasn't like it
(27:16):
was just this bizarre wooing process that wasn't really wooing,
but just kind of like, we've got to fill this
role and she's there, and it was a very uh
it was. It must have been a very strange experience.
And I think you captured really well in the book. Yeah,
thank you. Kind of what a mind funck. Excuse me,
(27:36):
it was right, Yeah, it was very strange because, um,
you know, I did not know. And again, much like
writing a book, ignorance sometimes really is bliss. I was
sort of baffled. I did not understand that there were
these two separate organizations, the network and the local affiliate
(27:58):
station W eight BC. Okay, they were partners in this show,
but they were enormously The heads of both organizations were
enormously distrustful of one another, less so on the ABC
network side and more so on the w a B
because the w ABC probably had a bit of an
inferiority complex. Well, I think they also felt like, well,
(28:20):
we were broadcasting this show locally. Now here they come
and they want to make it a national show, and
now they're going to try to control us, or who
do they think they are? Or whatever. This is me
thinking aloud. You know, I'm not representing this in the book.
I'm just saying I'm thinking aloud as to what the
what was the basis of this strange dynamic, strange dynamic
(28:42):
that I could not possibly understand because I was living
under this assumption that we were all on the same channel,
so we were all friends and Synergy and Disney and
La La La, and I did not realize that because
I was so wanted by the network, that I might
not be wanted to buy the W E B W
(29:05):
a BC faction right. And I didn't realize that until
much farther along. You know, Lauren R, my producer for
the podcast, was saying that, you know, Kathy Lee didn't
have that issue because she and Regious started together, but
then he was established. He probably felt or maybe that
(29:27):
contingent felt they were being bigfooted or forced to do
something by the network and not necessarily, Um, we're on
board with it, or you know, looking back on it,
what do you think you could have done to smooth
things over a little bit? Do you think, because I
think it's not that dissimilar from my experience at CBS
(29:49):
where Les Moonves, the head of Entertainment wooed me, but
I never got the complete buy in by the news division.
And I think that if I had politically, and I'm
not very political, unfortunately, if I had politically like gone
to different people within the news division and really kind
(30:10):
of won them over, or at least had the knowledge
that they didn't want me there or they didn't want
me there, it would have been maybe slightly different. Do
you look think back on I. I mean, it's so
you know, it's it's it's so interesting you say that.
And that's why I'm very careful to point out that
certainly wasn't Regis his fault. You know, I never blame
(30:32):
him in this book. I don't blame him at all
because he was a signed, a co host, and this
is a man that had earned his place in show
business and he had, you know, kept that train on
the track. So do you think if you had said,
I want to make sure Regis is okay with this,
that it might have made the transition easier. I think
(30:53):
that I was so unaware that he wasn't that he wasn't.
I never occurred to me that he would not have
the stamp of approval. You know what, I mean when
even when they said to me, it's not his choice
to make, it's our choice, and I was like, but
it should be his choice, and they said, well, we're
not going to force a host upon any other host,
(31:17):
you know, and then you realize, like that's totally untrue,
like that's exactly what happened, and and and it makes
me feel sad for for him. But I think eventually,
eventually we did like have a smooth like we smoothed
it out, like we worked. Because I'm a very honest
(31:39):
and earnest person, and like you, I am not political.
So it never occurred to me that I had to um,
I didn't even understand the dynamics, Like who would I
have spoken to? I thought I was speaking to the
people I needed to speak to. And I thought that
just me being there and being very deferential, and me
(32:03):
waiting my turn and taking my place and taking my
lums and accepting responsibilities for things that had nothing to
do with me, and playing that game. I thought that
I was doing all of that. I thought I was
doing all of the right things. You know, this is
where I think agents sometimes fall down on the job.
You know, they're so concerned with salaries, but they don't
(32:26):
actually make sure that the environment that they're putting clients
in is the right one. And I think the best
agents would really, you know, even those who call themselves managers,
would really take it upon themselves to help guide someone
and help smooth other of these rough edges and have
(32:47):
the foresight to understand that this dynamic might not be
helpful for their clients. Right. And it seemed to be
exactly the previous statement was, it's more about the money
and the salary and their coin operators, and it was
more about UM not necessarily being concerned with what was
(33:11):
best for me or for Regius um, or it was
being concerned with the bottom line and UM not. You know,
even even the times I said, you know, this is
becoming this seems to be very challenging, and I feel
like I'm getting abused in the at least in the
(33:31):
tabloid press, I was very abused and uh, and there
was sort of this hands up, well, there's nothing we
can do about it. What do you want us to
do about it? You know? I know you say that
you you smooth things over, but it sounds like like
there were issues all along, and that even when we
(33:52):
just left the show, there was some kind of tension
or resentment, not that I was aware of, no, no, no,
it was it was like literally after the fact, and
like ten years after the foot but saying, like to
Larry King, misrepresenting kind of you. And you know, it
(34:13):
seems like he sort of from my impressions from the book,
when when you wanted to have a closer relationship, he
was a little talk to the hand ish it. He
believed and and because he had done the show for
so long that if you are working together, that is
where it begins and ends, and then you have your
(34:33):
life out. Any company think that was the case with
Kathy Lee too. I don't know. I don't know the
nature of their relationship. Again, I think power dynamics are
very different, and when you're two equals, that's a very
different thing than what I was perceived as coming in
as a secondary host. So I can't you know, It's
like I can't know that. I don't know what it
(34:55):
was like. I just know that these were the rules
that were established, like the conversations at had to be
saved for the air and only for the air, you know,
And was he worried that if you had more of
a social relationship, it might change the dynamic. I mean
I remember thinking that with Matt and Brian, I didn't
want to hang out with them, not that they wanted
(35:16):
to hang out with me. I didn't really want to
hang out with them because I thought, what if I
get mad, or what if someone says something, or what
if somebody gets drunk or It's like, I don't I
don't want that to interfere with our professional relationships. Well
that's what I said. I was like, only in this
day and age is now like we had a very
professional relationship, and now that has looked with like some
(35:39):
sense of scorn. And I said, there was a time
where that was to be revered professionalism in the workplace.
You know. Um, but you know, it's one of those
things that I feel like whatever notes we hit, we
hit correctly. And those the reason I transcripted those parts
(36:00):
of the book is because I wanted it to be accurate.
My opinion or my thought process as to that should
not like should not interfere as as to the reality
of what was said. It's like, these are the facts.
We saw each other. I saw him, he was on
(36:23):
our show, But then this interview happened where he said
he hadn't and was never invited, never called, and and
so I thought, because I'm an idiot, I thought, well,
it's also easily irrefuted, irrefutable, and these the press will
(36:44):
do its job and say, actually, he was on the
show a few months ago, Actually he's been. And it
was like radio silence. That story just spread like wildfire,
and I was baffled. I couldn't believe of it, and
I went I remember going into work the next day
and my producers all looked stricken, you know, kind of
(37:10):
they felt bad for me. I think they felt bad
for me, like I that it was being so misrepresented.
It was being misrepresented. Why do you think, why do
you think we just did that? I don't know. Ye
in the book, I don't know, and I still don't know.
And you wanted to basically set the record straight. I'm
not an abandon er. I don't abandon People's not my thing.
(37:34):
And and it's interesting because the reaction, I'm sure, the
tabloid reaction to this book, um, which I was sort
of warning you of. I think when I came on
the show, where things are taken out of context, twisted
or obviously conflicts cells right. But the only reaction to
the book was that that my husband made me pass
(37:58):
out while we were having sex. I mean that was
like that. That was the headline of the book. That's
a good story, which you're going to have to get
the book. Really is Mark dress Kelly and a really
bad outfit when she passed out to the hospital. But
that was the that was the big takeaway. And I
kept saying, what about the Regis stuff? Has that gotten
(38:19):
some some negative press? No? Just yeah, But that was
the only press that it got because I think people
read it and understood it and it was and went,
oh my gosh, it all makes sense now. Like so
you feel like you achieve what you set out to
in terms of not not not the whole book. I'm
(38:40):
just talking about that sort of misunderstanding and the fact
that you wanted to correct the record, which because I
think we're entitled to correct the record, especially if it's misrepresented.
So that's why I, like I said, I don't represent
my opinion. I represent everything in transcripts because I think
it's more to have a transcript on record. And you know,
(39:04):
and again this is like one chapter. It's like it's
like I like people to focus on the book and
its totality, but I would be remiss if I didn't
talk about my transition into that show, because it's such
a huge part of my life. Of course, while I'm
with your sister, I mean, I feel this the same
way about what I wrote about my book and various experiences.
(39:27):
It's I feel like not it's not a burn book.
I disparage anyone, I leave the reader. And again, people
who have read the book have a very different you know.
They It's the reason there were no headlines about that
chapter is because it's not headline generating, you know, and
(39:50):
people who have read it have this kind of understanding
about what it's like to work in a place that
it's not like organ an it where it's not two
people getting to know each other. It's like fast. It
happens fast. Everything happens fast, right, And then to have
something misrepresented about you in the press, what do you do?
(40:13):
Do you just hope it goes away or do you
set the record straight in real time? That's the whole
point of the story, you know, is that? But was
it frustrating? Because I do think there were some headlines
and I think that's what Kathie Lee was responding to
Um that that that did misrepresent what you were saying
in the book. Now I know there there really weren't.
(40:37):
I mean that the headlines were not disparaging, they were
not misrepresentative. That's what I was so surprised by the
headlines generated was that reaction to not headlines. So I
was sort of fascinated by, oh my gosh, these are
(40:58):
headlines that are now based on a non reader of
the book, and before that there were no headlines. And
so it really did like, ultimately, I think, you know this,
like book sales are. It's really a very word of mouth.
And I'm not I'm not somebody that believes it all
(41:21):
pr is good press is good press. I don't believe that.
But when it comes to selling a book, it is
apparently it is, as you know, as you are now aware.
And so it's one of those things where I went,
oh my gosh, it's so funny, Like I felt like
there there was a moment where I couldn't get my
book mentioned in in Vanity Fair in you know, glamour
(41:46):
in the New York Times, and then suddenly I can,
and it's like that shocking weird I go and here
I am again in this conundrum. Do I set the
record straight or do I just say thank you? And
I chose to say thank you. One of the things
that you know, you write about and is the fact
(42:06):
that you didn't have an office, You didn't have a desk,
you had no place to put your computer, and um,
I didn't have a computer. You didn't have a confiding
that one. You know, but it took a while for
you to feel like you were part. Yeah, it sounds
like sort of a high school click that you couldn't penetrate.
And it kind of made me mad at at at
(42:26):
Michael Gellman, you know it did. It made me mad
and I was like, Okay, he's the executive producer of
the show. He should be he should be supporting Kelly,
he should be creating a culture where she's welcomed. And
it made me mad. You know, I don't think it's
his fault. I really don't. I don't put any responsibility
(42:48):
on him. I think it was a way that's not true. No,
I I understand, and a lot of people think like
they think they put it down to one person, like
well he's the boss. There there are so many people
that were over his head and over all of our
heads that were worked above us. And you know, I
(43:11):
had and still have a great working relationship with him.
And he has to walk a very fine line, a
tight rope. That's a tight rope walk not showing favorites,
not picking favorites, not and like say, and keeping your
own job in the process. It's hard. That's hard work.
And anytime something seems easy, it's hard, you know. And
(43:33):
so he's been the executive producer of that show for
all eight hundred and seventy two seasons or whatever, you know.
And it's like, I don't blame him because I think
he was doing the best he could in a very
in a very delicate situation. It was also a different time,
you know. One of the things that people, I think
(43:55):
sometimes don't understand. They read things that happened in the
past through a lens of the present exactly. And that
was also very profound, that was very You cannot do
this to the lens of the pressent. You should do
this for a living. You're very good. But no, you're right.
But that's why in the book I keep reminding everyone,
(44:17):
if like women were created kind of like sex class citizens,
and that's the way it was. And I write about
it in the context of the time, because it's important
for people to gather the context of the time. These
were not unheard of things. This was not an ONI
was a very male dominated industry and U you know,
(44:38):
and full of big egoes and and so it was complicated. So, um,
what are you thinking about your future? Are you loving
where you are? Still? You know, as somebody who did
a morning show for fifteen years and and really appreciated
every day. But it started to feel like groundhog Day
at some point, where like how many segments it's about?
(45:00):
You know, what are the best genes for your body?
I could I do? I also think about, you know,
the young blood fresh people coming in. I think about
it all the time. I'm very cognizant of that, you know,
and I discussed it a lot, you know, every time
we have somebody on the show that's young and funny
(45:22):
and effervescent or even you know, by young, I mean
just younger than me, you know, um, effervescent, interesting. I
always I always turned a gouman and I'll say, you know,
you should you should look at her first. You should
look at her for you know, co host. Like when
I go on vacation ever sit in a chair with
Ryan um and and same with guys. I look at
(45:44):
guys and I'm like, you know, you should take a
look at this guy. Because I'm very cognizant. I believe
that as a franchise show. I don't think I'm the
host of the show. I don't think the shows a
success because of me. I don't think it's a success
because of any one person. It is a group effort
and come on, your important people like continuity, but they
(46:09):
also enjoy that shot in the arm of the you know,
the breath of fresh air. Remember when you were the
breath of fresh air. I remember when I was the
breath of fresh air. You know what I mean? I
remember that, you know? Uh? And so you don't want
to be like the the person you don't want hot breath? Yeah,
you know what breath garlet stuff that stayed around too long.
(46:33):
But when you think about it, do you think like
five years, two years, or do you think of do
you think like that? You know? I mean I think
if I thought like that, I would really you know,
if I thought like in terms of years, it would
be really too terrifying. I still would not have gotten
past three years. You know, if they said three years
(46:55):
from now, I'd be like three years. It's more of
a I think you know, and you know you know,
and and and when they know, they know, you know,
and I think it's got to be that group discussion
and hopefully you know before they know. Well, I mean,
I think I actually think I do know. I'm not
(47:15):
willing to actually discuss it if you generate all sorts
of panic stricken headlines, but um, you know, I have
a very good idea it is. You know, it is
definitely like a finite amount of time. I'm not I'm
not you know, working there. You're not going to be
walking No, No, I'm not. It's it's not a forever job,
(47:39):
and nor should it be. You know, everybody should get
to I mean, I wish everybody could experience it and
they might have a better uh comprehension of how difficult
it can be. Sometimes is um, but it's mostly a
high honor to be welcomed into people's homes, you know.
(48:01):
Kelly Ripper's book is called Live Wire Long Winded Short Stories,
and it's out now. Next Question with Katie Kurik is
a production of I Heart Media and Katie Curic Media.
The executive producers Army, Katie Curic, and Courtney Litz. The
(48:23):
supervising producer is Lauren Hansen. Associate producers Derek Clements and
Adriana Fasio. The show is edited and mixed by Derrick Clements.
For more information about today's episode, or to sign up
for my morning newsletter, Wake Up Paul, go to Katie
Currek dot com. You can also find me at Katie
Curic on Instagram and all my social media channels. For
(48:45):
more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart
Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows,
Host
Katie Couric
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