"Spit It & Get It!" w/ Sam Pancake

Grab your Porsche backpacks and get into this! This week, the tender gift of the clown is brought to you by the hilarious, dashing, and whip-smart Sam Pancake (“Search Party,” “A Million Little Things.”) We talk how we should have residencies at sex clubs, how many times we can say Kimberly Akimbo, what to do when faced with a donut wall, plus we go on a picnic date! And cake, honeys, cake!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
No, who are you wearing?

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Will there be pressed to Alan Babs.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
And she honey, yeah, gotcha, I.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Didn't And Brian, I hear it last there and they've
got lots of podcast But honey, no, no, no, no,
Hanna grass pees. We live in the game lifelike celebrities
and sharing up a favorite femig recipes. Well, honey, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 (00:34):
Auto grass no autograss.

Speaker 5 (00:37):
I loving hair face on my face, Yes, honey.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
I have felt it.

Speaker 6 (00:43):
But my tesla. Hello, welcome to another episode of No
Autograph Please.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
My name is Arta Marine, my.

Speaker 5 (00:48):
Name is Brian.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Sophie.

Speaker 5 (00:49):
You need to be running down a staircase with only
one shoe leaving a ball. I'm gonna thank you so much,
literally click Cinderella to man, thank you.

Speaker 6 (00:56):
I dressed up for you because I haven't seen you
and our our upcoming goosed. Yes, because I do you
ever buy something and you save it, you're saving it.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:08):
I have a pair of shoes that I bought like
six months ago, and they were a little more than
I wanted to spend, so I was like, oh, I
got to save these for some real nice Except the
problem is they're like boat shoes.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Sure, so I just don't wear them.

Speaker 6 (01:18):
You love a coat shoe, but you know, the summer
season coming out.

Speaker 5 (01:21):
I know you're right, but I'm scared of just getting nervous.

Speaker 6 (01:23):
Look this I got. This is a Cynthia rally. Excuse me,
I've been saving it. And then I'm like for.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
A podcast recording.

Speaker 6 (01:31):
And I was like, I keep getting I've been on
the wedding circuit. I've been going to a lot of
weddings with my gentleman collar. But they're his friends. Okay,
So I don't I feel a little bit I'm not
quite confident enough to be like the plus one and
you know what I mean. I feel a little too
attention grabbing in this. Although maybe I should just wear it.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I think you should.

Speaker 5 (01:51):
You look like you look like, although I feel like
the bride would be really pissed.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Because you look so sunny.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
Thank you.

Speaker 5 (01:57):
There is bubble over here. It is absolute, truly double
double trouble.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
And then they are they could not be.

Speaker 5 (02:08):
We have Katie and we have our very rude cat.

Speaker 6 (02:14):
Yes, maybe he thinks he's on the set of Search Party.
Maybe I had a million little things with this bullshit cake.

Speaker 5 (02:20):
I don't know how it works. On sets, but in podcasts.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Be here every I'm so glad you're here to take
my workshop ladies, Sam Pig, I'm so sorry I do
I have to wear the cans first of all.

Speaker 5 (02:32):
By the way, that's one sentence.

Speaker 6 (02:34):
Yeah, there was so much head over, and he was
telling me that the bride would be jealous.

Speaker 5 (02:42):
You're right, but he's a real This is a real show, Biscuits.

Speaker 6 (02:46):
Stepping energy from the bride the podcast.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
He is a real show, bis Kit. I gotta tell
you corpse at every funeral, bride it every weddingy Hi,
I'm Sam Pancake and focn pullas foken pullas pol and
focus is what I do.

Speaker 5 (02:59):
I gotta tell you you are literally and I hate
using that word except it is literal. You're seriously one
of the funniest people I've ever met in my life.
You are so fucking funny, so fucking talented, and you
deliver typically everything in the same tone of voice my podcast.

Speaker 6 (03:16):
Yes, I wanted to say about Sam Pancakes and this
might have been when I met him.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Oh.

Speaker 6 (03:23):
We auditioned for I Don't want to Brag a Kentucky
Fried Chicken commercial and it was callbacks time, and they'd
held us there. We were on the west side and
they'd held us there. We were like near that like
Santa Monica station, like near Monte Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
It was called Chelsea.

Speaker 6 (03:40):
We've been there for like.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Four hours and very hard decisions.

Speaker 6 (03:45):
And they were like like rotating us and hat and
Sam just had By the way, is the only course
I ever booked. Sam had enough, okay, and he just
got there comes a point he had had enough and
he just started getting really mean with his improv really
moon and just like basically pissed at them so much
that he made the darkest improv jokes like about it

(04:09):
to Kentucky for a chicken and I was just like,
I felt like my pupils turned to heart shape. I
was like, that's my fucking I don't know, I want
to I wanted to put a ring on it.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
I don't blame you. Yeah, you wing on it a
chicken wing. I have no memory of that.

Speaker 5 (04:24):
I got to tell you I one time got a
call back, three callbacks. This is like when I'm right
starting out for an all of Garden commercial. Do you
don't have to the first callback? They have to pay
start paying you for the call out?

Speaker 6 (04:33):
They never do.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
They never do they did get paid. They count on
you not knowing that because they I ran. And the
reason I got so frustrated and had some little patience
for those situations are because I my day job from
like ninety to ninety seven was running commercial auditions and
my boss was great, but it was always the advertisers
and the producers and the directors. And I do commercials

(04:54):
to say, and I'll still say, the worst people I've
been around in terms of the industry are the way
ad agency people and that world treat actors in the
room at callbacks. Yes, and they count on you not
knowing that you should get paid for those multiple callbacks.
So I have no fucking patients, and I do it
all the day. I still do it.

Speaker 7 (05:10):
Well.

Speaker 6 (05:11):
You you were on fire that day and I was like,
I'm such a people pleaser that I was like, that's
a fucking who, that's a national treasure there. Whatever that
was was a hero.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
I was like, wow, But dude, I like usually am
such a people pleaser, which has contributed to so many
of my problems. But that is one arena where I
don't have any I have. My boundaries are very tight
and if it's unprofessional and bullshitty, I not ever to
the assistance or the casting people or anyone getting paid
less than me. Ever, But if it's someone above, I'm
pointing up to producers. I should point down to hell

(05:44):
to hell itself in the commercial world because I used
to have work with so many assholes. Yeah. Always, you
won't believe this. Straight white male directors in the nineties,
I can't believe it.

Speaker 5 (05:55):
Who treated sexist beyond believing homophobics all.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Of it and talk about we're not there yet. But
in a talk about no autographs.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
Please energy and honey, yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
The first I have some grievances, Yes please. Brian owes
me a text and Arden in the middle of watching
her last night, in the middle of the scene and
the and the internet beautiful Arden was on balling out
Midge and husband with the great chest and power went out.

Speaker 6 (06:24):
Well that's my fault, and Brian got jealous, so he
cut the power out.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
I did.

Speaker 6 (06:29):
Addie switches to I switched, And I gotta say.

Speaker 5 (06:33):
I gotta say this, Arden, if you ever need her
in a pinch though it's a wonderful, wonderful handy man.
All she has to do a handy woman. The first
thing she's she's great handies. The first thing you.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Something breaks out of.

Speaker 6 (06:50):
And I go over there. I'm like, here we go,
come on, just let's have at it.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
I didn't get it.

Speaker 6 (06:59):
Here we go, baby boy, come on.

Speaker 5 (07:01):
Arden's New England swagger. Yeah, comes out when something breaks down,
because she's like, why why would we call someone? We'll
fix it, We'll fix it. We'll fix that until until
we need to call someone. But you've got to You've
got a real resourcefulness about you that I appreciate it.

Speaker 6 (07:13):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
You know what.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
I'm good in a crisis.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
You are valuable.

Speaker 5 (07:18):
She's ready to hike up her duck boots.

Speaker 6 (07:20):
And my Cinderella gown, I Cynthia Dorella gown gorgeous.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Absolutely des not to keep twisted and turn and stand up. Honey.
It's good Katie.

Speaker 6 (07:32):
We missed you and you look hot in her He jumps,
good American.

Speaker 7 (07:40):
Yes, thank you, thank you for getting me this.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
When was your birthday? It was.

Speaker 5 (07:45):
My rebuttal okay, not against.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
You ship you look promised myself. I wouldn't say this to.

Speaker 5 (07:58):
Be fair, okay, yes, yes, your text to me was
about your show and to come see up, which is fabulous,
and I wish I could have gone. I couldn't go.
But let me just be clear to the audience. It's
not like they were like, Brian, I miss you. I
hope you're well. I hope la la la la la.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Like.

Speaker 6 (08:15):
It was to the store and you invited him.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
I need your your arms around me. No, it was like, hey, fuck, bitch,
Sha be troubled street.

Speaker 6 (08:28):
We should go to his show in New York in September.

Speaker 5 (08:30):
I would, by the way, that can happen.

Speaker 6 (08:32):
I would love to, By the way, I've taken a
lover in New York. Doctor Shamwam Shamaha. It's not his
real name, but that's what but that's what Chase Bank
called him. He's they spelled it out and they said
they call him shamwam Shamaa.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
I didn't know that was the origin.

Speaker 5 (08:48):
That's amazing, isn't that the Tinder swindler?

Speaker 6 (08:53):
So no, his name is Sammy Sharma, but they call
him doctor shamwam Shamaha.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
So outrageous.

Speaker 5 (09:00):
Correct, Yeah, it's great and outrageous.

Speaker 6 (09:03):
But I could come with my life partner bon ye see, and.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
I'll have just been back from friends. I'm about to
go to France. Oh my god, I'm so jealous. I
can't wait for your fluent. I'd love to go to France.
French poodle.

Speaker 6 (09:24):
Giving.

Speaker 5 (09:28):
Okay, she's pulling downs.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
The jester sold it though, Why.

Speaker 6 (09:33):
Didn't your French teacher do that? When they'd be like, oh,
I don't believe you.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Know they like to clown and Don Williams did not
ever pull up. Okay, you know what.

Speaker 5 (09:41):
Else they do over there? By the way they are
such schemers is.

Speaker 6 (09:47):
A NAPS nomination.

Speaker 5 (09:49):
I could not steamers. But dating over there, they're like
date at the end of the day. One they were
always like, I am in love.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
With you every time. Every time they do that, You're lovable.

Speaker 6 (10:00):
Have you dated in France.

Speaker 5 (10:01):
It's been a minute, But I lived there for like
three months when I was in my early twenties.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Well I've.

Speaker 6 (10:09):
You're that lovable.

Speaker 5 (10:10):
No, no, no, no, Because then I asked my friend Scarlett and
she was like, oh.

Speaker 6 (10:13):
My cousins Johansson.

Speaker 5 (10:15):
No, but my different prince Scarlett who lived in France
when I lived there, And she said, my even my
cousin will say that to me. And I'm like, okay, well,
I don't know what that's supposed to make me fee?

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Did they make how should we say?

Speaker 5 (10:26):
But even in like a sex club or something, which
that was the first time I had been to one.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Right to please?

Speaker 5 (10:32):
They don't really have them here?

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Do they like that? They do? Oh? They do? Okay,
I've never been there, but I know they have sex
clubs and I don't go to them because I'm too.

Speaker 5 (10:40):
Me too and people, please, I know no one's gonna
believe exactly okay me, And that's fine because there's absolutely
nothing wrong with that. I wish I had fuck my
brains out there. It just isn't my thing. It was
fun to see, but it's just.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Not I've heard from people who have been there the
very specific things about the sex clubs, but I've not
been either way.

Speaker 5 (11:00):
When you to go, I'm going next week for like
a month, I'm taking up residence of the sex club
Legs of Kimbo and I'm means some songs from Kimberly
a Kimbo and I'll be there.

Speaker 7 (11:15):
That's the second legs Kimberly a Kimbo joke you've made
on this podcast?

Speaker 1 (11:18):
Is it true?

Speaker 5 (11:19):
I write it down everything?

Speaker 4 (11:20):
Oh, I say, why do you write.

Speaker 5 (11:23):
You go over there and you'll have pople in love
with you on the front, but within twenty minutes it's like,
I'm in love with you.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Okay, this is shocking and horrible and sad, but I
have never been. And I went to Tips and I
want to talk to you off camera about this. Later.

Speaker 6 (11:39):
I went over New Year's and I went when I
was twining one with my mother, and the Parisians were
so rude.

Speaker 4 (11:44):
To me both sides.

Speaker 5 (11:46):
They're not the most friendly their gadgets.

Speaker 6 (11:48):
City. I studied French for seven years. I can communicate
camunukat and they are so rude.

Speaker 5 (11:55):
You know what, though, if you get the right in
and you can't do this because you're you have like
a you have but you're in a couple, You're like,
are you're dating a couple? If you're not? Go even
back then like going on because they're the dating apps
are also even for friends, like Grinder is also used
for friends in Europe sometimes, so like you can literally
be like, does anyone want to grab a drink tonight?

Speaker 1 (12:17):
And so that's kind of I like that. Yeah, I
would use because I'm afraid to go alone.

Speaker 6 (12:21):
Yes, how John Mayor and Ria says he's just there
for friends exactly.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
Basically everyone in France is John Mayor.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
Let's be honest, it's a John Mayor of your Are you.

Speaker 5 (12:29):
Going alone, well yes and no, so I am going alone.
But Jessica Chaptpans in Europe is going to be there
for like a five days and then I think Michelle
Collins might come visible but mostly mostly And I'm doing
a hike. So fun that said, and this is going
back to the top of the charts. Okay, sure, with
a bullet with a bullet number one, with a bullet

(12:50):
my autographs piece energy.

Speaker 4 (12:51):
This week please has to do yeah with yes, a.

Speaker 5 (12:55):
Wedding And I went to this last weekend, this wedding
planner where it was at like top top of the roof.
It was like on top of the building. Okay, Los Angeles, California.
I've been in downtown, very pretty, very pretty, and it
used to be some crazy athletic club that place right
by the athletic Okay, yes, yes, same idea. So this

(13:17):
wedding planner, I gotta say she was riding my ass
the entire night because I guess I was one of
I was one of the last people to get there
by the way, twenty five minutes before the ceremony.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
So it was just like the cocktail and you're a guest,
they're not.

Speaker 6 (13:32):
He didn't keep saying, when does the part where people
get to object?

Speaker 2 (13:35):
No?

Speaker 5 (13:36):
Well no, but I did object. I bet it was
at the wrong wedding, which is why I was running
right because I got the fight. So anyway, so when
I got to the right wedding, oh, I have already
gone the ejection out of it. But she was so
fucking rude. She was, but I sort of appreciated her
for it. First of all, if you're a wedding planner
at a wedding, this is my tip to everyone who
isn't Frank from Father the Bride, because he did it right.

(13:56):
I'll be honest with you. Okay, so short, right, you
have to dress up and blend in with the crowd.
She was in full Lulu Lemon high pony rude as well,
with a finder running around.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Lemon at leisure.

Speaker 6 (14:14):
I should be the wedding, she.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Should be fired, you should be the wedding and everything.

Speaker 5 (14:19):
She started with, oh you're late, and I go I
am did did they already have the ceremony? And she
was like, no, but you're late for the cocktail hour.
And I was like, well, who cares, No one pays it,
blocks that's what you.

Speaker 6 (14:32):
Exactly sober. I mean like, okay, I'm just my friends,
and I'm triggered by the cocktail hour.

Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah, and then I have been there and I yes,
concur and then.

Speaker 6 (14:41):
She goes, She goes like, none of your business. What
time I get to.

Speaker 5 (14:44):
The cocktailer And she goes, I guess you're not going
to get the room number for the after after party.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
And I was like, wrong with her?

Speaker 5 (14:50):
You did you have a date with you? I did,
but for some reason she was on me. Do you
know Jenny Pearson? Yeah, yeah, we went together because she
knew the people people also because we were the only
too so fat and so anyways, was to Jenny, no, no,
she thought it was like the ring leader of some
covert mission to run and show up.

Speaker 6 (15:10):
At the same time as you picked her up. So,
but you were the problem.

Speaker 5 (15:14):
I was the problem.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Do you think she recognized you from the TV? And
sometimes when people do that, they have to be a
little attitude.

Speaker 5 (15:19):
And I did get at the cocktail hour, Jenny didn't.
And she came this is this is the other thing
she started doing. She started speaking in like first person plural,
so she she would be like, she would be like,
and now we're gonna put down our cocktails so we
can go to the ceremony. Right. It was a lot
of candescending. Oh my god. And then I went to

(15:39):
go over they had dinner was over and they had
just put up the like before the k came out.
They had like a doughnut wall, which sounds crazy.

Speaker 6 (15:45):
It was so cute, don't crazy.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
Thank you.

Speaker 6 (15:51):
Oh my god, we've done some of your lines. By
the way, I just had a flashback and your bad
date lines.

Speaker 5 (16:00):
I was, oh my god, fill me up with your
paper that after so anyway, so then I literally take
out my phone to take a picture of the.

Speaker 6 (16:08):
Donut walk d that's why it's there the ground totally.

Speaker 5 (16:12):
And she goes, we wait until everyone's ready, and I was.

Speaker 6 (16:15):
Like to take a picture.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
I was going to eat the wall.

Speaker 6 (16:19):
She feels like I would leave you all, my my
house and my cats all if you put your hands
behind your back and you just did like.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
A bobbing the wall, which I would have like a
water bird in the back of a car. But I
got to say it was one of those things where
it's like.

Speaker 6 (16:35):
I should put in the back when in the back
of my razzle dazzle.

Speaker 5 (16:37):
Car, and all I could think about, by the way,
we'll all appreciate that. All I could think about was
if I were Drew Drokie, I would have thrown that.
Oh he would have given it would have destimated totally.

(16:57):
And I literally was just like I mean it was
also I sort of appreciated it because it was sort
of funny. But she was so mad that this day
was not on her.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Really, you get corpse at every funeral and bride at
every wedding.

Speaker 7 (17:09):
She was mad.

Speaker 6 (17:11):
Job category you can't handle a bride.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Yeah, I have played so many wedding planners on TV.
Me too that I know exactly how to do it.

Speaker 6 (17:18):
Me too.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
What was the end of that sentence? Oh? Yes, First
of all, my areas of anger would be commercial casting
arena and then this arena, because I would have had
to say something because I don't really get married. I
don't give a fuck. And also you need to you
need to tell your friends about this woman. I hope
she hears this. That she was wearing Lulu Limina ath
leisure wear in my hair.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
And like hi, pony, and I don't mean like slicked
back like that. It was like in a rubber band.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Was she in the headset? Was she on the headset?

Speaker 5 (17:45):
She was awful. All I could think was like, I
can't believe that this this woman showed I really couldn't
believe that she showed up.

Speaker 6 (17:51):
Like that, scolded you outright twice?

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Was she scolding others?

Speaker 5 (17:55):
And then told me I wouldn't get the room number
for the after after which I.

Speaker 6 (17:58):
Was like, to stay here and withheld from you like her.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yes, I think I think that, and I note would
be abuse, so we should be careful. There should be
some sort of like social citizens arrest like process. You
could be like, file a report, follow reporting jury of
your peers eventually and she should be removed from her
position or taking off her adderall or whatever the fuck
she's on. That's right, this is insane.

Speaker 5 (18:23):
I will say I did wander over the doughnut while
by myself, so I didn't really have like back up
with me at the wall, and so it felt.

Speaker 6 (18:31):
You took the pictures.

Speaker 5 (18:32):
No, I was literally walking towards I was literally walking
toward it.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
She's in love with you, first of all. She was
very much.

Speaker 6 (18:38):
She wanted to be an actress, didn't.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
I can't believe no completely, And.

Speaker 6 (18:43):
She wants to like get one up on you, like,
oh well you think you have this, Well then.

Speaker 5 (18:47):
Guess what well she went because I ran out of
there weeping.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
I cannot I was your man.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
If if I was your date and I been there,
I have protected you.

Speaker 6 (18:56):
Oh that's hot.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
I'm good at that. I have a lot of like
I was.

Speaker 5 (19:00):
This is brought against my I feel like I only
date people who in that situation, if they heard someone
talking to me like that, they would just run out
of the road.

Speaker 6 (19:05):
By the way, maybe take a new My ex would
have been like, well you asked for it, Oh wow,
doctor would stand up for me.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
My thing. I've gone from like to like scared southern
two polite to do anything complete one eighty to like
my bossy big brother energy takes over. I know who's
in there. This is very narcissistic. I know who's in
the wrong. I know who's in the right. I know
who needs to be spoken to. I know who needs
to be uplifted. See it literally sobriety and a great therapist.

Speaker 4 (19:35):
I want to date you, Sam.

Speaker 5 (19:37):
Do you have no autographs, please nominee this week.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
I have I have a few areas and thinking of
all my areas, and one of them was before we
even got into the KFC thing, which I have no
memory of, and one hundred percent believe you, but I
did that more than once. I feel like so, I uh.
Were commercial casting directors, one of whom was a team
of two English guys where I shot this crazy visa slash.

(20:03):
It was. It was to what's it called conflicts? It
was a double It was a whole big fancy thing.
We shot for three days out in the valley at
a sports mart. And these directors who were so tweet
and precious and precocious, and they couldn't look Ashman. And
they had some cutes I'll tell you off camera, some
cutesy did a little name for the two of them.
And they were really French, like Garden was English and French,

(20:27):
British and French. They wouldn't they wouldn't look at us.
We had to do stupid things like walk around sports
Morten being like you know, donkers in the pull of speed.
We're look at each other, what are we wearing? Hysterical

(20:50):
And this was like in the nineties, and I might
have been still a little bit high on something because
that was the nineties. But at one point during the
day I said to the first I d no, we're
not doing that. You two over there, you stand up,
and you walk over to me, and you direct to me,
because this thing of like you not talking to any
of us. Ask Chris Darga, he works in everything. He
was there too, like, we're not having it. If you

(21:11):
want me to do that, I don't know what I'm
doing over here, right, Because I had had so many
experiences in callbacks as a casting assistant watching these butthole
almost always men being jackasses who didn't really know what
they were doing, who were mad they weren't directing movies
or TV, stuck in commercial world. Again, this is not everyone.
There are lots of amazing commercial people out there. Truly,
these are the jackasses of the nineties. And like you said,

(21:34):
believe it or not, homophobic and very misogynist. And I
had zero patients for them. The other Okay, they're the nominee.
We're just not having the time of day. No, No,
they're like, oh, don't come around me, don't talk to me.
I can't talk to the actor.

Speaker 6 (21:53):
Ok I thought you were the nominee for I don't
give a shit, no, no, no, not that I've.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
Been my own nominee, but okay, I had a moment,
could I respect?

Speaker 6 (22:02):
I wish I had more of that fire.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
I have had a couple of experiences where people are
leaning on top of me in stores, like at the
thing where I'm like, I don't think this is about
sex or lack of top of you was happening target
last week at Beverly Connections kept looking at me and
looking at me, and I don't feel like it was sexual.
And then he got behind me in line and he
made sure his bag that he was holding, touching you.

(22:25):
He was leaning against me with his body and he
was with a woman, but he was putting his body
on mine as I was waiting to he must be
I guess, or there was some other. So there was that.
And then at Walgreens yesterday, I was thinking about doing
this because I was listening to these and I I'm
not going to get into it. Something happened and I
was like, I felt the no autographs energy coming through
me because you're standing in line and they're going I say,

(22:48):
it's for the prep and then people are like, wait
a minute, that's one the okay.

Speaker 5 (22:56):
There's I have three two so far.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
The commercial director is meat here, then do you want
one more? I don't know about y'all, but I went
to Western University theater department. It's the Yale of West Virginia. Yes,
and I had never met into this day in my
life people who occurred to me as a glamorous, untouchable,
starrific and glamour. Did I say glamorous already? I'll say

(23:21):
it's for the third time, glamorous and unspeakably distant and
above us all. Then the senior class acting stars like
Taya Perry and Matt mcpadden, and there were some other sure,
Gareth Sacks, Rachel Vanessa Schaeffer. Yes, she was adorable, Luke.

(23:44):
I can't remember it, but we were so afraid of them.
And then this one girl, one of them. I'm not
gonna say her name because I just googled her and
she's very much on the internet. But she and I
played husband and wife. She can figure this out. She
had been and this is my experience of her. I'm
sure she had very maybe should a bad experience of me.
I was a freshman after it was summer for my

(24:06):
freshman year and we did Absurd Person Singular, the English
play where like there's a high class couple, a middle
class couple, and any couple, three different three different couples.
It's allan Akborn. It's really good. But she and I
played husband and wife. And these people told me before
because she had been missed West Virginia, USA.

Speaker 5 (24:28):
By the way, just so everyone knows, USA is the
glamorous one. Using that word again, America is the talent one.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 (24:34):
In my house, we only cared about USA.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Meet to America was boring and that's the only.

Speaker 6 (24:39):
One I really you could get a scholarship USA.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
It was just it was just like boys.

Speaker 6 (24:45):
Yeah, they never missed. We never missed it, and we
would just like me, my brother and my my family was,
oh we loved great. Okay.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
So I did something wrong on stage one night. Oh
she left her she he was in the wrong place
and I put them in a kitchen door. She and
I came back to say. She was like, where are
my heels? And I was like, yeah, I don't know
what to do. I panic. I put it in the
kitchen door. She would you don't get it just understanding,
understand it yet you're young. She was four years younger
than her, and she went off of me and I
was just like quivering, quivering, and she she and her boyfriend,

(25:18):
who was also in it. He was also scary in
a different way and intimidating, not scary, intimidating a different way. Yeah,
they to this day, I would be afraid to approach
them at an RB's I tell.

Speaker 5 (25:27):
You, speaking of which there was. I guess in like
my junior year of college is when I really started
to come out. That's like when I first dated somebody who,
by the way, looking back, I really should have held
on to him. His father was in a relationship with
Fi done.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Away what what?

Speaker 5 (25:45):
And I never Where did you go? Shepperdine?

Speaker 6 (25:50):
Where did he live?

Speaker 1 (25:51):
Well?

Speaker 5 (25:51):
I was at n y U and he was at Yale,
and so he would come.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Y the Yale of Yale, Yale, Yale, Yale.

Speaker 6 (25:58):
I do agree, And.

Speaker 5 (25:59):
He was he was Israeli and he was so handsome.
And now he's like a doctor who lives like a
downhouse on the Upper East. So I'm glad I got
being married. She married children. Yeah, and I know I
plan on it. He's with some Norwegian person.

Speaker 6 (26:16):
Is it you with a woman?

Speaker 4 (26:20):
Is it my brother?

Speaker 5 (26:22):
It's Alaric. But but I remember, I'm only that is
a tangent the most the more important thing is that
I remember like going out to gay bars for the
first time, but like a fake id with some of
my friends. And there was someone there who had graduated
like two years before, but who I knew, who was
like the star of the theater department who was gay
and he so he was three years older than us.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Maybe.

Speaker 5 (26:43):
All they kept saying at this gate bar was like,
what you guys need to understand is it's because of
people like me that you can walk around safely in
New York. It's because of people like us and the
queens who paved the way for people like.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
You to spolter.

Speaker 5 (27:01):
Oh, I see okay. And I was like, but you're
I mean he was literally two years older. And he
was like, and you have a lot. I mean look
at stone Wall. Those were not white gay men doing that.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
And I was like, well, A, you're white.

Speaker 5 (27:13):
And gay, yeah, and b you postate Stonewall by about
twenty years two.

Speaker 6 (27:18):
Years older than that.

Speaker 4 (27:19):
Exactly, fresh, I.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Said, BOSSI a big brother energy, which I have to
say I have a no.

Speaker 6 (27:25):
Sometimes I appreciate that reminds me this is a new
dispur of the moment. So I remember graduating from Coolage
and I'm doing a majoring and majoring INLA and Collage
and going to my hometown and somebody's doing like a
student film, and.

Speaker 5 (27:42):
I remember being you wanted to get him on the act.

Speaker 6 (27:44):
Yeah, So I was like, I had like one line
in the student film and there was a lot of
intrigue around the house. The leading lady was like in
the bathroom in this little Compton, Rhode Island. So the
leading lady was like getting her makeup done. There's a
fly or something. You got it though, okay, and so
and so like she was like you have to kind
of leave her alone. You to leave her alone. She
was getting like her hair and makeup gun. But the

(28:06):
second A d his energy on this student film. He
was like this is a like he was like, you
do not talk, You do not when you sit still.
When I do this like silence, this is a professional set.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
I love it.

Speaker 6 (28:23):
The second God and it was the least first job
I have ever had, And it was like his energy
here we are.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
Is that Grace Jones yes, I'm Grace Jones.

Speaker 6 (28:35):
So that was my first. So here's my real no
autographs please energy.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yes, I love it.

Speaker 4 (28:40):
And I did this yesterday on attitude.

Speaker 5 (28:43):
Yes, I guess ago I gave.

Speaker 6 (28:48):
I gave people a little taste test. But okay, I've
been so excited to share all this with you, doctor
Banana Katie.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
You'll enjoy this as well.

Speaker 6 (28:56):
So I was flying to New York two weeks ago
to see doctor Shamaha and doctor Shamwim. He's not a
doctor Nora's his name Shamwim or Shamoa. So I was flying.
I was at Lax and I was at Delta, and
I was behind such a no autograss place, an elderly
man in a matching leather bomber and backpack that was

(29:18):
Porsche brands. Detail Ever, he also had a big scarfrog.
He had a Porsche backpack and of course and a
Porsch bomber jacket. And he started striking up a conversation
with the young lady in front of him in a sweatshirt,
and he was like, so she went to like, you
see Davis. I believe he's like, do you do this

(29:40):
flight every He said, yeah, I'm going back to school.

Speaker 4 (29:42):
I'm a student.

Speaker 6 (29:43):
Do you know do you know you see there's a school.
Do you know you see Davis? Do I know that?
Do I know that I went to u c L
a master's program. I'm in academia. I'm an academic. Yeah,
I know that I'm in academia.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
So the nut here's the front.

Speaker 6 (30:05):
He checks in and he goes, I am an elite
diamond medallion. And they're like, okay, well miss Sullivan and
he goes doc. He goes, doctor Sullivan, I'm an academia.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
I'm a masters.

Speaker 6 (30:21):
Medallion.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
My mom has a master and then we go.

Speaker 6 (30:26):
I'm behind him at clear, there's the It's like no
one said Elliott right, there's one person in front of him,
and he's like, excuse me, excuse me, I'm.

Speaker 4 (30:36):
Elite diamond.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Ship.

Speaker 6 (30:40):
You care to the guy that's that clear. They're like, okay,
well there's one person in front of you, So when
is your charity? He's like, I am an elite. So
he hit his Porsch backpack. He had to be called doctor.
He said, I'm academic, I'm an academia. After grilling this
poor young lady, and then he said, I need to
be doctor and I'm gonna I was only behind him

(31:01):
for five minutes of my life and and he was
wearing Porsche head to toe, and I was I.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
Bet he dated away. It might have been my EXS
thought maybe might be.

Speaker 5 (31:12):
Asked Drew about that one.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
Yeah, elite med I have an elite.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
Embarrassed to say.

Speaker 5 (31:20):
I'm an elite diamond would just be so embarrassed.

Speaker 6 (31:22):
I'm diamond medallion, I'm a diamond medallion. You don't say
I'm elite.

Speaker 5 (31:27):
Quit acting like you're a five star general.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Your set is there, like it's not going anymore. I
get embarrassed at work when you get in one and
that you get to fly first or whatever for work,
because God knows I don't pay for it, and then
I have to sheepishly walk up there. Sometimes I'm feeling
my os not always and like it's just like what
who as.

Speaker 4 (31:47):
A word elite?

Speaker 6 (31:47):
Like like, whyted you to say I'm a diamond member,
I'm elite, diamond medallion, I'm an academia.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
God, it's always poor.

Speaker 6 (31:57):
I was like, can you imagine.

Speaker 4 (31:59):
Being his child?

Speaker 1 (32:01):
Please go ahead? And it might I'll be lies too.
What do you mean it might be? He's not and
he's not any he's not a doctor.

Speaker 5 (32:06):
Well, anyone who says they have a master's and is
saying they're a doctorate. If something is automatic, it's been
a mix up, Doctor Marine. I gotta say you should
see me flit and flounce my way. Once I got
Global Entry ship and I come back from out of
the country and everyone standing in the passport line and
I flip and I flounced with my global Entry have
global Entry?

Speaker 1 (32:26):
Honey?

Speaker 5 (32:26):
Is there a better Is there a better feeling? And
I pretend I don't know which line? Sometimes like I'll
go where and then I'll see the sign and then
I'll go, you know, purse first style?

Speaker 1 (32:35):
Do you put your hands up an your shoulders?

Speaker 5 (32:37):
I act like Patty. I'm like, where is there?

Speaker 1 (32:40):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (32:41):
And then I can check my status because I it's every.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Five years, you're probably how do you look?

Speaker 7 (32:47):
You go like to the you know look as well,
because I have.

Speaker 6 (32:53):
To be elite Global Entry and I'll be wearing my
uh Subaru sweatshirt and the headband. What a fucking idiot?
Can you imagine that?

Speaker 5 (33:03):
We gotta get our camera gear in check.

Speaker 7 (33:06):
Thank you.

Speaker 6 (33:07):
I I almost lost my virginity in a camera. Doctor
banana Katie. How are you guys doing. Have you seen
any juchebags out in the wild.

Speaker 7 (33:16):
Oh, I mean it's la so hard to miss, but
uh not one.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
I can't think it might be too many to count.

Speaker 7 (33:27):
I will say the guy. I remember the guy who
merged into me and then immediately tried to blame me
even though he merged.

Speaker 5 (33:34):
His energy was very much like you.

Speaker 7 (33:36):
Didn't see me merging into you, yeah, And I was like, no,
you merged from as He was literally like, oh you
like I was merging and I was.

Speaker 5 (33:46):
Like, yeah, but you were behind me. In fairness, it
wasn't a car, a mote, someone killed someone anyway, autographed
autographs please, energy merging.

Speaker 7 (34:00):
Immediately and Insurance was so quick to be like, yeah,
he was in the wrong, but I thought that was
very funny.

Speaker 6 (34:05):
No, Sam, Yeah, no, you've heard our podcast. But for
those listeners who haven't heard, we're going to take a
quick break. But when we come back, Brian and I
are going to be going on a first date that's
improvised and it has to end well.

Speaker 4 (34:16):
And when you hear this sound.

Speaker 5 (34:21):
I wish.

Speaker 6 (34:31):
You hear this sound, and you're about to hear a
real line submitted to us by our literers. By the way,
we've gotten so many people have been emailing in. You
can email us your own lines at napspod the number
one at gmail dot com. You can d m us
on our Instagram page, which is just at naps pod.
But part would you like to tell us the name?

(34:53):
You could give us, like a real name of people
that you've known from your past that Brian's our characters
are what is.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
My You can make up my name? It could be
a real name. I'm going to use names of people
from my past that I from high school that I love.
Here's a good one, Beth Grapes.

Speaker 5 (35:09):
I'm gonna kill you. Was everyone in your hometown named
after a food?

Speaker 1 (35:12):
We realized later because we're so immersed later a lot
of beans and grapes. Yeah, and pancakes?

Speaker 6 (35:18):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (35:18):
And then what and then what is Brian's name?

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Brian can be oral, racy and I went.

Speaker 5 (35:25):
To high school high school.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
I'm not kidding. Facebook's me recently to say hello, Okay, now.

Speaker 6 (35:31):
Maybe is there a weird place you've been on a
first date, or on any date, or any fun place
for a date.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Oh my gosh, I wish i'd known this was coming.
It could be Starbucks, okay, but I want to be.

Speaker 5 (35:44):
It could be a hike or a lawn. How about
like a museum.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
How about a picnic in Silver Lake in that little meadow.

Speaker 4 (35:55):
Reservoir, Yeah, meadows.

Speaker 6 (35:58):
Okay, We're gonna take quick break and when we come back, Beth,
Grapes and Oral Racie will be meeting in the Silver
Lake Reservoir picnic area for a little outdoor low.

Speaker 5 (36:08):
I have one little comment before we go. Yeah, this
is living, this is Marriott.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
Thank you to our.

Speaker 6 (36:15):
Sponsor, Elite Diamond Medallia.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
Of course I am.

Speaker 4 (36:18):
Okay, we'll be right back.

Speaker 6 (36:33):
Arrow.

Speaker 5 (36:35):
It's just it's Oral, which is I know is kind
of gross, but it's named after.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
My great grandfather.

Speaker 5 (36:40):
He was a billionaireybody lost all his money and a
great depression. So that anyway, we're us. Oh no, no, no,
I'm fine. Grapes Hi, Beth, Yeah, I know. Just so
you know, I'm totally cured now. So did I tell
you what's the problem. I was sort of having a
real did you see the Last of Us? Pardon the

(37:02):
Last of Us?

Speaker 6 (37:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (37:04):
Okay, well I'm not a reader. Okay, So it was
a TV so anyway, Yeah, all right about me?

Speaker 6 (37:12):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (37:12):
Yes, so I just had a yeast overgrowth? What a
yeast overgrowth?

Speaker 4 (37:19):
Can then get that?

Speaker 1 (37:20):
Where they actually can't?

Speaker 5 (37:21):
It's funny they actually can. I got mine on my face,
uh the actually both sides of my face and my
forehead okay, and then also on my torso and then
a little bit on my legs down to my bowl
all over really what?

Speaker 4 (37:35):
In fact, my mom loved that.

Speaker 6 (37:37):
Remember that thing from the seventies called Charlie, that perfume.
She bought a powdered Chartie after baths bash and she
put it on and her boobs were so big. She
put it under her boobs and she went to the doctor.
She had a rash. She'd given herself a yeast infection
under her titties from her eBay, Charlie, Shit, do you wanna? Uh?

Speaker 1 (37:53):
Do you wanna? That's awful?

Speaker 5 (37:55):
That's actually I love your mom's number, so I could
relate to her about that.

Speaker 6 (37:58):
One thing you might not know about me is that
I'm Jesus.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
In what way. I'm not really a religious product.

Speaker 6 (38:07):
I'm a path.

Speaker 5 (38:09):
Probably say that from.

Speaker 6 (38:10):
Now on, Oh Jesus says more like I feel like
everybody in sober Lake. Hello, Soberlake. I feel like I'm
an actor. I'm a real term EmPATH. I'm Jesus.

Speaker 5 (38:20):
Okay, do you want to I brought a blanket? Yeah, okay, cool,
it's actually inher it.

Speaker 6 (38:25):
Just stop talking about heaven.

Speaker 4 (38:26):
And hell and makeout.

Speaker 5 (38:27):
You're the one who brought it up. Okay, you're the
one who brought it.

Speaker 6 (38:30):
Can me stop talking about it to make out?

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Yeah? Just how what you frisbeak?

Speaker 6 (38:37):
A Facebook?

Speaker 1 (38:38):
So man, I was just like trying to get some
exercise out here.

Speaker 6 (38:42):
You have really tiny eyes.

Speaker 8 (38:44):
Oh thanks, it's it's I don't like to see things clearly.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
A choice your tiny eyes.

Speaker 8 (38:51):
Yeah, it's all look a plustic surgery thing by the name,
my name is?

Speaker 5 (38:55):
What is it? What is like the ice cream mcconnells,
but with out the muck or the scene.

Speaker 6 (39:01):
You know what's funny? You should say that, you know,
I am in a human potential program called Nexium and
that sounds a lot like zammo. Is it similar?

Speaker 1 (39:10):
Show me more about the A I like my frisbee.
Think you a champion? I'm in the Olympic.

Speaker 2 (39:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (39:17):
You want still my petition to get frisbee in the Olympics.

Speaker 5 (39:20):
Yeah, I'll sign anything as long as it's not a
request to, you know, bid on another piece that I'm
can I finish my sentence place, as long as it's
not another request to bid on another artifact that went
to South Bees. Okay, stolen from Christie's of an heir
loom of my family for billionaires who died.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
That was my sentence. All right, that's riveting.

Speaker 8 (39:44):
But before I get my petition out, Uh, do you
mind if we do a quick lint of coke before
we get started?

Speaker 1 (39:49):
What are we starting?

Speaker 4 (39:50):
You're the one before?

Speaker 1 (39:51):
Well, I'm gonna chea.

Speaker 8 (39:54):
I was going to show you how to like do
frisbee great instead of shitty like you probably do it.

Speaker 5 (40:00):
Me, dear Frisbee.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
I'd like to though.

Speaker 5 (40:02):
Really, Yeah, my name is Oral. She says it a
weird way. Yeah, what the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 (40:09):
Not to be rude. She's probably from Busting.

Speaker 4 (40:12):
Or something, you know, from Bally Guys.

Speaker 5 (40:14):
Excuse me, guys, guess what.

Speaker 6 (40:17):
I'm not really from BALI I'm from New Jersey, but
Jersey doesn't really match my energy.

Speaker 5 (40:22):
Whoa you think the ball and these people do it
like you're doing it right.

Speaker 8 (40:26):
You know, what can I tell you something? I heard
you earlier and Nolan, you's dropped very attructive to me.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
What's your name?

Speaker 6 (40:33):
My name is Gray.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
You're very attructed.

Speaker 5 (40:36):
You can't call her miss Grapes since you don't really
know her.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
Yes, Miss Gray, thank you for challenging me on note
soon take it on problems.

Speaker 8 (40:43):
I just wanted to say one thing because I heard
you talking about your Bresidon.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
You should just see my ex wife's knockers. They just
hung off for just like two war melons.

Speaker 6 (40:51):
Oh did you like dirty Dancing? That's a movie I
can get behind. When baby walked up, she's got the watermellons, like,
what do you do? I carried water.

Speaker 5 (41:00):
I don't like your ex. I don't mean to interrupt
on your conversation. She Baby, This blanket's really heavy. You're
welcome to come sit down with them.

Speaker 6 (41:09):
You're kind of a nerd and I'm kind of a jock,
and nerds and jocks don't really mix.

Speaker 4 (41:15):
Like it sounds like you read books and stuff.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Well I do.

Speaker 5 (41:19):
I read a lot of health books, books about you know,
yeasty books.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
You know, mostly have you ever eaten? You see boys?
Bigel to it. I can't.

Speaker 5 (41:27):
It's very triggering for me because I walk by the
Yeasty Boys truck, which is a bagel truck, and all
I could think about is, good God, what's on my thighs?

Speaker 8 (41:34):
Oh right, yeah, that makes you own pen sexual just
so it's out there in the earth.

Speaker 5 (41:38):
I'm on seven different medications.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
WHOA curious? The first one is ala pros.

Speaker 5 (41:50):
It's for when I'm having writer's block and age of
reent crows Ala Pros.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
I'm on h.

Speaker 5 (41:59):
Finel ords.

Speaker 6 (42:00):
What's that for?

Speaker 5 (42:01):
That's mostly for swollen knee. I'm on potentialism.

Speaker 6 (42:10):
Oh, I'm in a human potential program called Nexium.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
Oh, tell us about it? What happens volleyball?

Speaker 6 (42:21):
I've got some cool I've got like it's not really
a tattoo, but it's more like does it marking? And
I was I lived in Albany for a long time.
I know, I said Bali, but it was like Balbany.

Speaker 8 (42:31):
Oh wow, that sucks. You know what if you guys
help me. I'm kind of bummed about what happened. I
got suspended at work because again went inch in my waist.
I was employment upper two is your job? Obviously, I'm
a model.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
To be honest.

Speaker 5 (42:49):
He's immortal, You're immortal.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
I'm a model. Do you model? What are you model for?
Speech corrective devices? Was?

Speaker 4 (43:00):
What kind of a thing is that cheese?

Speaker 7 (43:02):
You thill?

Speaker 8 (43:03):
My mom?

Speaker 1 (43:03):
We get words, get right, But I'm stunning.

Speaker 5 (43:06):
I think it might be psychosomatic because when you started
talking about it, your speech got Yeah.

Speaker 6 (43:10):
That your auditioning for us. We can't cast like a
casting office, commercial count or.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Fun fox about me. I can only come if you
stomp on my dick. You're wearing sneakers.

Speaker 6 (43:20):
Good thing I'm in here.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
Good?

Speaker 5 (43:21):
Can we go lay down?

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Please? I'm gonna go. Oh, my girlfriend's coming every.

Speaker 6 (43:31):
Hi, Tiffany remember me?

Speaker 1 (43:33):
Sure? Do you beat grape?

Speaker 6 (43:36):
I know fucking Tiffany. And we used to work at
Pilate's Platinum in the West Hollywood together.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
I was actually a Pilate's Elite Diamond Platinum Cherry Blossom
Orange Mandarin sauce Baby.

Speaker 6 (43:48):
Okay, well, I was actually I own that franchise bench
and I do not appreciate you got her a bench. Yeah, yeah, bench,
She's a bench who stole Chris mess And I'm Jewish.

Speaker 5 (44:01):
It's the weird day.

Speaker 6 (44:02):
He was so fock I'm not really feeling comfortable on
this date.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
Usually I have done nothing.

Speaker 6 (44:10):
Usually can I finish. Usually people tell me right away
that I look cuter in real life than my photos.
And you haven't said anything to me yet.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
Look, you know what that he should just be ninth serrups.

Speaker 6 (44:27):
You know what, Tiffany, Listen, listen, you have like a
real Pilate's instruction.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
Well, you know what the last period that anyone out
with called me racist for saying I'm not attracted to
black man. Can you believe that, Yes?

Speaker 5 (44:39):
I can, Yes, Binches, Yes, Inches, Relax, Relax, I was
trying to I'm not good with my pot. I told
you I'm on I'll prosy him. Listen, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go laid down. You are welcome to join me. Tiffany,
don't even try it. And also, okay, Zaniol, people.

Speaker 6 (45:07):
Always think I'm gay. People always think I'm gay, people
always take I'm gay.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
Okay, listen, this is what I want to tell all
of you.

Speaker 8 (45:17):
I have.

Speaker 5 (45:18):
By the way, I didn't even get to listen my
for other medication. It's just everyone knows I only went
through three. I'm here to listen.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
I'm here to listen.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
I'm a better listener than hest activity.

Speaker 6 (45:27):
You're already on a date, okaymonza, Yeah, ok that's for
when I don't want to get off the couch.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
There's also purring.

Speaker 5 (45:38):
Yeah that is for if I'm eating pudding because it's
I'm specifically very legit to but I love it.

Speaker 6 (45:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (45:45):
And then of course my last one, the piece to
resistance of my cabal of communication medicine is I'm on
lincirc Okay that is and what's the right word. It's
sort of like remember Sharon Tate? Yes, so I don't
end up like her? Okay, Sharon Stone Tate, I don't know.

Speaker 6 (46:07):
She was great and based against.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
It were talking about Sharon Tate.

Speaker 6 (46:10):
You know what, I know you're on a lot of medications.
You know I could take care of you. I'm a
dental hygienist.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
Really yeah.

Speaker 7 (46:17):
You know.

Speaker 5 (46:17):
The one thing I don't have a problem with is
my teeth, but that's very say you know what, now
that you've mentioned the mouth.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
Can you wait?

Speaker 1 (46:27):
My kisses? On a scale of one to ten, ready,
I'm gonna do your name is all found? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (46:32):
Yeah, okay, okay, let's hear it.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Number one.

Speaker 6 (46:36):
Two negative two.

Speaker 5 (46:40):
Oh the first one was the two and the second
one is the negative two.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
Yeah, oh I see okay ready.

Speaker 4 (46:45):
H ten mm hmm okay, yeah, oh I like it.

Speaker 6 (46:58):
Knock knock speak, I's there.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Sorry, we'll take two. I'm sorry, not not. I only
learned about this.

Speaker 5 (47:04):
Who's there, Philip?

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Philip?

Speaker 6 (47:07):
Who Philip?

Speaker 4 (47:08):
My phone with your number?

Speaker 1 (47:10):
Hi. My name is Timmera and I just was over you,
hearing you guys over there and that really pretty lady
that has walked away. I smoothed it. Yeah, I guess well.
I wasn't swondering because I mean, you're in Hollywood and listen,
I'll see anything to make it entertainment.

Speaker 5 (47:29):
I'm hot and ready to be used.

Speaker 6 (47:32):
Oh honey, you like to play with your titties, don't you.

Speaker 1 (47:36):
Yeah, but if you're a gem and I, it's not
going to work out.

Speaker 8 (47:39):
Oh.

Speaker 6 (47:40):
I was born June third, I'm a gemea.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
What's your birthday?

Speaker 4 (47:44):
Your birthday?

Speaker 1 (47:45):
My mom's best friends with Meryl Streep, so I sort
of I don't like to reveal my birth date on
the front. It's July thirties, but I.

Speaker 5 (47:52):
Was rounded to August. So then when someone asked me
and mom and.

Speaker 4 (47:56):
That's a book. I like what Mom, Oh, it is.

Speaker 5 (48:00):
A good but it's a picture.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
It's you mean a book of a musical book? I
can give on you only read books of musicals. Yeah,
my dad would say.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
Mom and Poppattle, baby's got diarrhea.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
Do you want to do?

Speaker 5 (48:11):
You guys want to go to the coffee stand and
get coffee where they have absolutely no ice in the
middle of the summer.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Let's do that.

Speaker 8 (48:18):
Hi?

Speaker 5 (48:18):
Can I get a coffee for Miss Grapes, the lovely
lovely Miss? I would like one hotter than hell?

Speaker 1 (48:32):
Yea cup?

Speaker 8 (48:34):
Oh Joe, Well, it's nine your two degrees out selling today,
so I can see why.

Speaker 6 (48:38):
Like one steamed ice moke alive, they.

Speaker 5 (48:43):
Don't have no icestually very I'm just say, why do
you even have a coffee stand in another summer?

Speaker 1 (48:48):
If you don't have, you just got to understand that
different people like different things. My my, my, fella, and you, like,
your needs are different than others. And coffee is actually
meant to be hot, and if you're roasted the right way,
there's only really one way to drink coffee.

Speaker 6 (49:01):
It's extremely really.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Nice, blisteringly hot, LIKEU your mouth is full of canker sores. Yeah,
that's the way you want to be later in the night.

Speaker 6 (49:09):
My throat meal. I have throat meal and it burns
my throats.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Really, do you know?

Speaker 5 (49:14):
Throat is very sugaring for me because what I didn't
have in my throat was oatmeal. But I had was
absolutely nothing but.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yeast, I have cream of feet?

Speaker 2 (49:21):
What?

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Oh? Hey? Can you rate my.

Speaker 5 (49:25):
Kisses on a scale of one to ten?

Speaker 1 (49:27):
I like nothing more? Okay, twelve?

Speaker 7 (49:33):
That was?

Speaker 1 (49:35):
Oh that's my teeth in that one, can you?

Speaker 8 (49:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Let me open my mouth wider vocals?

Speaker 8 (49:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Good, I get that. Four? Okay, how about yours?

Speaker 4 (49:52):
That's your yours?

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (49:56):
Well, I'm from I don't know if you about me.
I've been one of to be more spontaneous. So I'm
going to rent a car and drive around Azerbaijan next week.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
So I'm getting my nies ready license. Oh that was
for to say that?

Speaker 5 (50:09):
All right, listen, I have to say you have brought
such light and clarity to my life in terms of
why you don't have ice here? And I've never felt
more like an American?

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Why do I need ice? You know what I mean?
Why can't I live like others? Because I love your
beautiful eyes, and I love your beautiful you. There's ice here.
I just don't. I won't let people have it.

Speaker 6 (50:26):
Can we have why?

Speaker 1 (50:27):
It's my kink. Don't stink my kink.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
Stink is kick, don't.

Speaker 5 (50:31):
Stink my kink. I'm really sorry. God, I've really gotten
in a lot of hot water today.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
That writer's block pill I overheard you earlier. It must
I don't need it. It's you. It must be working
for you, because that was a beautiful Santons. Listen. I
hate to wrap this up, but I do have to go.

Speaker 5 (50:49):
I don't even know why I'm here at this point,
but I guess I should say before I go that
we never get married. Obviously, my mom's really specific about
who that will be. But you're not the kind of
girl that cares about that anyway, right, What the fuck? Oh,
I'm sorry, let me see something more romantic if you
snore them out?

Speaker 1 (51:06):
Sorry? Was that rude? You look like dog food?

Speaker 6 (51:10):
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 (51:11):
Can I put my hat in the ring to do you?

Speaker 7 (51:14):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (51:14):
Wow, your single mom? My mom was a single mom too.
I find that very sexy.

Speaker 5 (51:19):
She's not a single mom, she just has the look
of one.

Speaker 6 (51:22):
Oh, I'm a single mom if you like singer moms
teaches ironic. I got a turban out.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Do they do that in Bali? Me? Me?

Speaker 6 (51:31):
They do that in Bali?

Speaker 8 (51:33):
Right?

Speaker 4 (51:34):
Do you have any other thing?

Speaker 6 (51:35):
You have other things? You want to throw? Any other
hats in the room.

Speaker 5 (51:37):
I'm late for the trains. I'm late for the trains
which you trail well, whatever they call it, you were,
you were whatever, it is the life, the life.

Speaker 6 (51:47):
You're leaving me here.

Speaker 5 (51:49):
No, you can come, you actually can both come. I'm
going to You're gonna love this.

Speaker 6 (51:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Wait, I the only time if you ston't Dick and sneakers.

Speaker 9 (51:55):
But continue, Okay, I am going too, and none other
than the former property of Walt Disree.

Speaker 5 (52:07):
Okay, which is different than Disney. Okay, he made cartoons
at the same time. No one appreciated them. Sure, but
he's an old family friend I'm talking with. My family
was billionaires before we'd lost all our money to the Zoos.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
Yeah, so yeah, zoos would listen.

Speaker 6 (52:22):
So I'll come with you to Walt Disreel.

Speaker 4 (52:26):
Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
I know this house. Your roommate is so hot. Do
you think he's gay and would be interested in me?

Speaker 8 (52:32):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (52:33):
You mean Fernard cut to Walt Dizree's house.

Speaker 6 (52:42):
Hi, Walt Disrie. Oh look he's got a giant dature
of himself.

Speaker 8 (52:46):
Hello, children, thank you for coming to my runny farm.
Fernard is in the back stable. He's raising a new
jackass for us to make a nature documentary about.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
Just you know.

Speaker 5 (52:59):
They're they people who called They say jackass for their
their asshole or but that's what I meant their bee
hole exactly. Listen, I brought a friend. Fernard would love
to meet him, and they're gonna get They're gonna get along.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Fluid Haitian falls to the children. That's how we talk.
That's how we used to talk to me at money.

Speaker 6 (53:16):
Fernard, come meet them the coffee guy. Hi, Smeeth. What
you guys doing, Hi, Fernard. I love your work. It's
mad bad grades. You want to meet my new friend
who doesn't have any ice.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
I want to meet anyone who is, like, you know,
a part of a crowded audience.

Speaker 6 (53:33):
One thing you might not know about me is that
I'm Jesus.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Your Prientice blew his brains out, So more pudding for us, Okay.

Speaker 5 (53:42):
He can't have it anyway, that's what I heard.

Speaker 6 (53:44):
Next time, and we're beck Wow. Now wait before we
get going. Yeah, first of all, how did you think
that date went? And what line was the most horrified?

Speaker 5 (54:03):
Do you think you're going to make it?

Speaker 1 (54:05):
I have so many nuts in my mouth right now,
Yeah you do.

Speaker 5 (54:11):
I was your favorite line?

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Oh my god? Well the ones that I've said before? Yeah,
do you mind if I do a quick plane of
cope before we get started? That's definitely come out of
my mouth.

Speaker 6 (54:19):
That's so fine.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
I just okay, I can only come if you stomp
on my dick while you're wearing sneaks.

Speaker 6 (54:27):
Rich such a good one.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
It's so troubling that someone has that situation.

Speaker 5 (54:32):
I wouldn't be able to do it, like I would
not be able to stomp on.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
I couldn't do it. No, no, no, no, I loved.

Speaker 4 (54:40):
One thing you might not know about me is that
I'm Jesus.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
I really want to know the contact.

Speaker 6 (54:44):
From Ray Randall.

Speaker 4 (54:45):
I have no idea, but that's a great line.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
Ray Rendall. Also, I'm sorry. Ray Rendall was also the
one I can only come if you stop my dick.
So Ray Rendall, please tell us more about your life everything.

Speaker 6 (54:57):
Ray Rendall is a star.

Speaker 5 (54:58):
I do love someone coming in on a date and saying,
just so you know, I'm cured now. This person texted
me a story about it, like did not know that
anything was going on.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
Oh this is out of the blue.

Speaker 6 (55:08):
Yeah wow, no, wow, Okay, now you emailed in a
line to us, which was the pant We've done it.

Speaker 4 (55:17):
We improvised with it.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
I need to listen to all them.

Speaker 6 (55:19):
It was yours. It was like the pancake.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
Let me tell you that with the story. Can't pancake batters?
When I first came out in college, then suddenly I
came out and I had was deverginized after a Christmas
party by an amazing guy. That's nice.

Speaker 5 (55:31):
It was the very one barely happened.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Yeah, it was a wonderful experience because I was twenty
one already. I mean it was late in the games
in the eighties. And then suddenly all these people kind
of like stepped forward to put it in me, which
I gay guys guys who I thought were straight, Like, yeah,
guys who I thought it were bisexual. And this one
guy said to me, it wasn't. We did end up
like dating for a minute, but he said to me
initially before I knew he was even gay, before he

(55:53):
drunkenly in a bathroom at a college bar through me
gainst the walls just start making out with me, which
was couldn't have been hotter. We were filled with watermelon shooters.
Anybody anybody it does And then later he's like, I
he was referring to someone else, but he meant himself.
It was like that in the eighties. He was like,
does anyone ever tell you they want to be filled
with your pancake batter? And I never thought about that.

(56:15):
I mean, we don't see Sam pancake. It's my real name,
but we don't sit around in my house like making
wacky jokes. We get enough of daily life, and so
that never occurred to me.

Speaker 5 (56:23):
It's a perfect name.

Speaker 4 (56:24):
I love your name, thank you.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
But that took me aback. And then later on that
gentleman who said that, didn't God get big. I'm still
on Facebook, We're still friends.

Speaker 5 (56:35):
And now Sam and we finished this show by making
a by baking what else.

Speaker 6 (56:39):
We're trying to become lifestyle influencers.

Speaker 5 (56:41):
And I'm sure you could tell from the last segment
that it led to this. Everything in the show's very
money will see. It's very completely there's no chaos here,
perfectly clear. Did you bring anything to put in the panus?

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Shure? Did? What did you bring? I brought something that
I thought would Actually it can't.

Speaker 5 (56:57):
Be money because we tried to do that and someone
gave us fifty dollars.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
I'm not giving you any money. That's very clear. Doctor
Banana's already picked my pocket already. I can tell.

Speaker 5 (57:08):
She's got a lot of pockets on that outfit, and
there's a lot of places to stick money.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
I brought my favorite spice, which I think will enhance this.
I like to call my dessert pepper nutmeg. We haven't
we haven't had that yet. That's dirt pepper. I love it.
I've put it on so much stuff. I love it.

Speaker 5 (57:25):
I can't wait.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
This will be a dream.

Speaker 6 (57:26):
Who do you want to be the baker?

Speaker 8 (57:28):
You?

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Oh? Yeah, But there's judgment and there's competition over here.
And that was so like who's your favorite parents?

Speaker 5 (57:35):
Nor dad? You can even make a number between one intent?

Speaker 1 (57:39):
Okay, I'm thinking of a number between one intent eight.
Arden's closer was three.

Speaker 7 (57:44):
Oh.

Speaker 6 (57:45):
Arden, all right, your podcast, how do you feel about pumpkin?

Speaker 4 (57:53):
How do you feel about chocolate.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
I love them very much. I like all these flavors.
I am gluten free because I have CELIAX, which I
hate that there's no gluten in this exactly peanut butter up,
there might be all that stuff never does they're always like,
very conscious of that. I'm excited about this, truly, but.

Speaker 5 (58:10):
It's this is what I have to say. We ask
people to rate this on a scale. It used to
be one to ten. Now you should look at Sam.
Just look at his look. He's so concerned about what's
happening right now. No I would know, because you don't
know what this is.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
I didn't know until I listen to the podcast what
peanut There was peanut butter powder, and I'm looking at
it and I'm like, there's what I wanted to be
turned around so I can look at it, maybe buy
some because I love a peanut butter.

Speaker 5 (58:33):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
I got to tell you.

Speaker 5 (58:34):
The stats on this thing incredible, real peanut butter water
and it's peanut butter. Check up those steps. Check out
those steps that versus regular peanut butter, which is one
hundred ninety collars twenty seats. The stats on that stat
stat backs stat fact the stats one. Don't I tell this.

(58:55):
I warn my clients every week, do not make the mistake.
Do not buy PB two by.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
He be Fit.

Speaker 4 (59:01):
Why is our sponsor right now?

Speaker 1 (59:03):
Will?

Speaker 5 (59:03):
Because because mostly our cakes have been garbage.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
I love peanut butter. I don't they're getting better though,
they are. I will purchase this done and done.

Speaker 6 (59:10):
Oh still just by the right shout out. We had
somebody buy it and make pancakes. I don't know if
it was a success or not. But they via, they
messaged us.

Speaker 5 (59:19):
On our Did they give us a little cut of
the profits?

Speaker 6 (59:22):
Yeah, we need to get we need a code.

Speaker 1 (59:24):
So you're putting in Wait, it isn't because if they
sold those pancakes, I do think we need to be called.
So truvia is what that truvia is what I used
to say, me too, that's my favorite.

Speaker 6 (59:33):
A chance.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Okay, you have that's brand new, not me. Yes.

Speaker 6 (59:37):
Do you have a bad parent? That even helps because
we have I have two great because that's because the
people who have loving parents don't.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
Like don't like it. We've noticed. Oh I will adore it, macus.

Speaker 6 (59:48):
She has two loving parties? Are she was like she
likes herself.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
You know, see I know. I listened to her Mark
Maron and I was like, this is the thing the
most hated. Lauren's like the most well adjusted person in
the world. Is shocking. She's in comedy, but she's.

Speaker 4 (59:59):
Our She's a hero, a nice dad and a nice man.

Speaker 8 (01:00:03):
What is that like?

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
And she's hilarious, So what is that? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:00:05):
Yeah, but I gotta tell you. Usually people rate this
on a scale of zero to ten. It used to
be one to ten until someone gave it a zero,
So now it's a scale of okay, zero. I have
to say the last few weeks we've been on the up,
and I think carled it.

Speaker 6 (01:00:19):
Didn't he Carl hated it.

Speaker 5 (01:00:20):
I don't think gave it a zero.

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
Maybe Lauren and Paul have Tompkins al is that vanilla?

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
Yeah, Paul might have given it a zero. I can
see why it's not some people can you can you
don't have vanilla? I can evolve it. No, No, I
love vanilla. She's also starving. Which vanilla? Did you pick? Hard?

Speaker 5 (01:00:35):
And we have a we have a trio Gascar.

Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
Yeah I want that. I have. I have honey trios
for my mother, but I don't know about vanilla trios.

Speaker 5 (01:00:43):
Yeah, they do Vanilla Trio and that brand is really good.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
What's the brand?

Speaker 5 (01:00:47):
Nielsen Mass Vanilla full stop.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
I I'm getting some of that can.

Speaker 6 (01:00:54):
I think no chocolate with the nutmeg.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
So I think you're right, though I love chocolate.

Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
I you're right, they go together.

Speaker 5 (01:01:01):
We've been I cannot. By the way, this is coming
from a person who has put gitar spice. What was
that spice we kept putting in everything. We're delicious? Jerk
jerk chicken spice worked in this delicious?

Speaker 6 (01:01:14):
I was expired.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Wow did anyone die? Love it?

Speaker 5 (01:01:18):
Everyone's dead? But the idea that nothing that doesn't go
and this is so brilliant to me.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
I love it so much. Listen, here's the deal.

Speaker 5 (01:01:25):
So what you're not what you're what you can but
you'll yeah what I will tell you and you're on TV.
I have been coming off my Entier pressent for four
months now. I'm at the tail end of it getting
a little No. It's good, it's a good thing. But
you know, I'm sorry side effects. Yeah, so my brain
is operating at a slower pace. But I will say this.

(01:01:46):
What you can't see behind the scenes, but you could
certainly hear, is that Arden has put pumpkin, peanut, butter, powder, nutmeg.

Speaker 4 (01:01:55):
Egg white, a little tiny bit of cinnamon.

Speaker 5 (01:01:57):
A little tiny bit of cinnamon and truvia, and I
did a little baking. You're making that real smooth.

Speaker 6 (01:02:05):
And because I got mocked by Lauren and Paul, but
the last.

Speaker 5 (01:02:11):
Few of these have rated eight nine, nine and a half.

Speaker 6 (01:02:16):
Because here's the thing, we're not kidding.

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
We like these every time. Well, my mother one Christmas
gave me just a bunch of mugcakes like it just
you know, a microwave.

Speaker 5 (01:02:24):
That's what this is, vulgar muggcake exactly. Ill that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
They were from the Christmas House where a lot of
the crap I get for Christmas.

Speaker 5 (01:02:32):
Have you ever been to that store in the valley
called Restrained Whimsy.

Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
I've heard of it. I want to go.

Speaker 5 (01:02:38):
Wait where it's like by I think it's by the
raps on cold Water.

Speaker 6 (01:02:42):
Maybe I am Unrestrained Whimsy.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
We need to go.

Speaker 5 (01:02:45):
Currently it's like a hospital gift shop and it's like gifts,
like it's like one pair of shoes.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
And like it's being campy and satirically but not on purpose,
not on purpose.

Speaker 5 (01:02:54):
And it's owned by my dream like a retired gay
couple who just find the tricks and treasures and like
things out and it's like it's basically like a gift
shop that would be in like Palm Springs in like
this eighties man.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Perfect I'm in Let's go. We gotta New York version,
which I just learned in December because we were trying
to figure out where Phoebe Kate's was. She has York
long story. We were just like, what happened to Phoebe
Kate's and we googled her. I was in New York
and she has a store kind of like that on
the Upper east Side called I forget the name of it,

(01:03:29):
but google it.

Speaker 5 (01:03:30):
We got to go, how do we feel about Sarah
Jessica Parker selling her own shoes every Thursday? She's worn No,
she opened the store a tocktail tell yeah, she has
a store on like bleaker.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:03:44):
I was walking, but I was going to meet you.
I was on my way, I was power walking and
I saw the store. So I stopped and looked in
the window and there was s JP literally like working
at her store selling shoes, puts.

Speaker 5 (01:03:55):
The shoes on the people, she makes them walk around,
she checks the fish.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Do you think this is a fetish to Actually, you
have to a lot of people. Whenever I see a
zillionaire person or anyone who doesn't have to do work
in retail or a restaurant or whatever. She doesn't need
another dime, No, she does not. It's the situation where
they it's like Marie Antoinette in the little village, a
little farm thing, right, it's kind of that like Barb

(01:04:19):
with her exactly, but no one goes in there. She's
not actually like squirting out frozen yogurt for anyone in
the basement in Mali.

Speaker 5 (01:04:26):
She wants to be like she has a retail fantasy.

Speaker 1 (01:04:29):
I like that. I like it that she seems like
she wants to be around the people because she's one
of the most famous people. That puts you when we've
all been around our famous friends where people come up
and they're out of their minds. Yes, hopefully she has security.
You don't think that's out of your mind. That's out
of your mind. Yeah, but you know it's even more
out of the mind the people that arden just did
a full morsel out of their mind.

Speaker 5 (01:04:52):
I'm out of my mind with pleasure.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
This is good.

Speaker 6 (01:04:55):
It's not me.

Speaker 5 (01:04:56):
It's like a like a moose or a It's like
a moose. When the ed white which arden that's her pleasure,
soul gets a little moosier.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
It's like a soul. Oh my god, the guys that
are gonna, I'm making this for Thanksgiving. This is so good.

Speaker 5 (01:05:11):
Wait a secap, This is legitimately really good. This is
really good. Oh my god, Anna, you want to try
it right, I'm telling you, nut meg wow, tell me everything.

Speaker 6 (01:05:22):
Om, I tell you what the nutmeg hits.

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
This is like gonna die.

Speaker 4 (01:05:27):
Ys commented, and they said, and I listen.

Speaker 6 (01:05:30):
I read all.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
As much as you want, they said.

Speaker 6 (01:05:34):
They said, don't you realize that the more pumpkin you
put in, the less people like it? So I only
did a little. I read the comments because they pay
to our fans, care.

Speaker 7 (01:05:42):
The interest and taking.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
Also not everyone, yeah, loves pumpkin necessarily I do. I
do too. I'm not pumping spicy.

Speaker 5 (01:05:49):
Dogs because do you know if the dog has diarrhere
or if it has diarrhe if it is diarrhear, or
if it has constantpave you give a dog pumpkin and
with both.

Speaker 1 (01:05:59):
Constantly in it. If my dog has when my dog
has diarrhea. I get rid of it about eighteen. Now, okay,
what do you think?

Speaker 6 (01:06:09):
What do you give it?

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
One to ten twelve?

Speaker 6 (01:06:12):
Are you serious or not?

Speaker 5 (01:06:14):
Got to say, this one is off the charts, This
one is really good. I gotta say, what would you
give it?

Speaker 7 (01:06:18):
You guys have made some truly unhinged cakes in this scaratch. Yeah,
like to a point where you have forced me against
my will to make.

Speaker 5 (01:06:28):
Phil abus the habit chart that shows how good the
cakes have gotten, like this one is actually like I would.
I would make this at home.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
Me too. I'm scraping the bottom. I would said there
need another one, but I won't. You know, we don't
have time for that sand pancake.

Speaker 5 (01:06:46):
Yes, Brian's a thing we want to say, yeah, babe,
even though it tastes like Thanksgiving, it isn't.

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
But we still want to thank you while the segways
for being erotic?

Speaker 6 (01:06:55):
Did I make another one after?

Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
At?

Speaker 1 (01:06:57):
Sure? Is it?

Speaker 5 (01:06:59):
At jaysond pancake, We'd just Sam pancakes.

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
That's Twitter twitters at a Sam pancake, Joseph Samuel pancake
the third Yeah wow and calm down pancys at the
Sam pancake on Instagram Can I plug my own podcast?
You know, Brian's done it, Art's going to do it
my podcast, Sam Pancake Presents the Monday Afternoon Movie. Oh
my god, it's so good.

Speaker 6 (01:07:21):
I can't wait to do it. What is it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:22):
So?

Speaker 6 (01:07:23):
What's it on?

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
It's on the internet, it's on podcasts.

Speaker 4 (01:07:27):
Okay, great, it's on.

Speaker 5 (01:07:28):
It's TV.

Speaker 4 (01:07:29):
I don't another.

Speaker 1 (01:07:30):
I cover TV movies from the seventies and eighties, something
I don't think anyone else is doing, mostly horror, and
now I'm doing like I'm in my teenage Wasteland season
of like Sarah te Portrait of a teenage Alcoholic Get fun.

Speaker 4 (01:07:43):
Brian, can we come on as a team and show
that's my dream?

Speaker 1 (01:07:48):
Could you do it in July? Yeah? We talk of
when did you go to Francy?

Speaker 5 (01:07:52):
I come back from France July sixteenth, So if I
could do any later.

Speaker 1 (01:07:57):
It would the end of July.

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
I would do my Platonic Life Partnership.

Speaker 1 (01:08:01):
It's done and done. Thank you guys so much. And
then look keep an eye out for my one man
solo show, Samboyant, which is going to be in New
York on September ninth, and hopefully in La Suit Green
Room forty two.

Speaker 5 (01:08:12):
Okay, great, yeah, yes, Green forty two nights.

Speaker 1 (01:08:15):
That's been been maramall hours hours venue.

Speaker 5 (01:08:17):
That's fabulous. That's that's like a new like cabaret space,
like a Joe's pub style completely.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
It's only forty second Street, Midtown to see that.

Speaker 6 (01:08:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:08:27):
By the way, if we ever want to do something,
there's going to love that WAM which is there.

Speaker 4 (01:08:32):
The other night forget it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:34):
Drew and Miss Silp are doing their show the weekend before.
Oh my god, when does this come out? I have
something to say In three weeks We're doing Golden Girls
Live in Manhattan, Red Eye June twenty two, twenty three,
twenty four, and then on Fire Island twenty.

Speaker 5 (01:08:49):
Six coming But guess they get and the people who
come see it is by the way, if you don't,
not only are you watching stars and iconic stars on
stage in the audience, you'll be sitting next to like
Katie Perry my third Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:01):
Please do yeah, the go to my link tree and
my Instagram and all the tickets are there. And then
in La again the last two weekends of August.

Speaker 5 (01:09:07):
And Sam plays Sophia. Yes, I do fabulous.

Speaker 6 (01:09:10):
Can I promote some things. Absolutely, this is coming out
in a couple of weeks. So my Hulu show that
I'm the host of that I'm an animated chef's hat.
I'm chefy is by the people who did nailed it.
It's so cute. It's called Secret Chef.

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
And I'm like Tim Gunn and Heidi Klom.

Speaker 6 (01:09:28):
It's so cute as David Chang and the people who
did nailed it created this, and I am like an
animated chefs set.

Speaker 5 (01:09:36):
Is it cartoon?

Speaker 6 (01:09:37):
No, it's live action and except for me and I'm
chefye and I I'm like the impetush chef's hat.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
That like, it's such a fun cos Mayhem and.

Speaker 6 (01:09:47):
Cos Mayhem and I dule out the challenges, I tell
the contestants where to be.

Speaker 5 (01:09:51):
I'm I cannot wait. That's this sounds amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
It's I'm tailor made for me?

Speaker 8 (01:09:55):
What day?

Speaker 1 (01:09:56):
What day?

Speaker 6 (01:09:56):
It starts on Hulu on June twenty ninth.

Speaker 5 (01:09:59):
Oh my, that's right around, good chef.

Speaker 1 (01:10:01):
Okay, love it?

Speaker 6 (01:10:01):
Yeah, fabulous, And then our podcast will accept this Rose
will be up and running also on iHeart.

Speaker 5 (01:10:08):
The end of the month.

Speaker 6 (01:10:09):
End of the month, will be doing draft and we'll
be right back.

Speaker 1 (01:10:12):
Oh I guess I could say.

Speaker 5 (01:10:13):
I'll be live in London for usk Rana July July fourteenth,
which is a Friday.

Speaker 1 (01:10:18):
It's best Steel Day.

Speaker 5 (01:10:19):
It is best sees at King's Place, and we will
have a guillotine on stage.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
Serious.

Speaker 5 (01:10:26):
Yeah, we're gonna chop someone's head off.

Speaker 6 (01:10:29):
And you're going to be Legs Kimberly a Kimbo in Paris.

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
I'm going to be Legs Kimberly Star three. I'll see you.

Speaker 5 (01:10:35):
I now have the gold, Silver and Brons and Kimberly
Akimbo Legs a Kimbo.

Speaker 6 (01:10:39):
Been so fun.

Speaker 5 (01:10:40):
So Sam, we love you.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
I love you.

Speaker 6 (01:10:42):
I think you for doing it and guess what you guys.

Speaker 4 (01:10:45):
First of all, you've already risen to the challenge.

Speaker 6 (01:10:48):
As of the recording date, we have four hundred and
sixty eight stars, which really helps.

Speaker 5 (01:10:54):
Unbelievable, Oh my god, it helps so much. Please continue
to rate, review subscribe Rating five stars literally take less
than a second. Yes, press five stars and then write
a review. It can be simple, it could be complicated,
it could be anything, but it helps the show.

Speaker 6 (01:11:06):
So almost at the end of our first season and
we want to get picked up for season two. So
I think it really helps that they see. They do
see that you guys are there. You're interested to tell
your friends, but like we want to keep doing this. Well, okay,
by the way, here's something that we have, Brian. I
love how many people call us unhinged.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
And unhinged wild nuts.

Speaker 6 (01:11:27):
I'm here for it. So here we have five stars.
They keep us laughing, laughing, Margaret ran these two are unhinged, hilarious,
comedic attist, and I am here for it. If you
want something to put you into a good mood, look
no further. Thanks for bringing us laughs and smiles each week.

Speaker 5 (01:11:45):
So sweet, lovely. This one's from mocast three the Best
five stars. This pot is so effing funny. Just listen
to the Stephanie Allen Epp and the improv was incredible.
She's fit phenomenal.

Speaker 1 (01:11:56):
It was so fun.

Speaker 4 (01:11:57):
This one makes me happy.

Speaker 6 (01:11:58):
This is Bryceton John five stars, no autographs, just stars.
Grab a fist or a paw full of yogurt, soothe
that throat meal burn, and settle in for heterosexual role
play at his finest. Bad dates, good dates, baking, fabulous guests.
If you're asking for more, try shutting up and listening

(01:12:20):
to this hilarious show instead.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
I love it.

Speaker 6 (01:12:22):
That's a good review.

Speaker 5 (01:12:24):
The real Teresa Ma said these are my people five stars. Omg,
these are my people. Arden and Brian are hilarious, their
guests are awesome. I have to admit at first I wasn't.

Speaker 1 (01:12:33):
Too sure about this.

Speaker 5 (01:12:35):
Sure would be Now I can't wait for episodes to drop.
When I hear that bell ring, I have to brace
myself because I know I'm going to be cracking up.
And Arden is super sweet to her fans' very sweet.

Speaker 6 (01:12:46):
Hey Teresa, here's one more five stars tgif from a
cook Dad. Brian and Aden are world expert podcast is
and to have them Gabin and goofin together is perfect.
They are so funny about everything and anything, and their
friends are the best. Thanks for adding a smile and
a law every week. Keep up the great work. Oh oh,

(01:13:08):
I tried baby fit because of them. Kat Bennick five
Steps and Brian you can consider yourselves official influencers.

Speaker 4 (01:13:16):
Now, let's be honest. I would probably try anything you
guys like.

Speaker 6 (01:13:19):
This podcast is hilarious and it might be the most
random podcast I've ever listened to, and I can't get enough.

Speaker 5 (01:13:24):
Never change and Lolo Birdie Bird says five stars Mama
Brian and Ardner, pure chaotic energy. I couldn't love him
more as a fellow neglected child. Yeah, here are people baby,
as a fellow neglected smiled I think I would really

(01:13:44):
enjoy the pebe fit creation. Yes, of course you would.
She ever so lucky to have them make.

Speaker 1 (01:13:49):
It for me.

Speaker 6 (01:13:50):
You want to know what doctor shamwam Shamaua was not
neglected and he would be so grossed out by it,
of course because he had two parents who loved him
and a grandmother who lived with And.

Speaker 5 (01:14:00):
Shout out to Courtney who called it the Long Floppy
a plus podcast.

Speaker 6 (01:14:04):
I mean, I don't even know what it is.

Speaker 4 (01:14:05):
I'm fucking here for it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:06):
I love you.

Speaker 6 (01:14:07):
Also, Yeah, fellow nickle, we got a sweet email from
a high school senior who re listens to our episodes.

Speaker 1 (01:14:14):
That's very sweet.

Speaker 6 (01:14:15):
So thank you so much. Next to napspot one at Gmail,
at napspot on Instagram, and.

Speaker 5 (01:14:21):
Here are the people who wrote the lines.

Speaker 6 (01:14:23):
Shout out to the people who sent us their lines.
Ray Randall, we need to know what's happening. Daniel Watts
said so many good ones. He sent a ton Aaron
Stone Morgan, Aaron Fouqua, Angel Winsteain. Those were SAMs.

Speaker 5 (01:14:41):
Thank you to Samantha Tata, Ryan, Jessica Femnk writer who
I love, who was just you know, I'm totally cured now,
Brian with the Seven medications. Yeah, and Haley and Zara.

Speaker 6 (01:14:53):
We have Patrick White, Samantha Pellicane. And then there was
one gal All to say. Her initials are l Ca.
She said not to give her a shout out, but
that she would know that we did it, so Lka,
thanks for emailing it in. I thank you to Mark Rivers,
our theme song person.

Speaker 5 (01:15:09):
Gergio Lopez, our social person, doctor Anna Banana Hosnier the
living legend, and Kay Levine who is just the most
to say the least, and Will.

Speaker 4 (01:15:19):
Fareh big money players.

Speaker 6 (01:15:21):
Thank you so much. Bring us back if you like us,
like it, bring us back for second season.

Speaker 5 (01:15:26):
Yeah, tell a friend press, especially any Cobbler friends, because
that's a dying art.

Speaker 6 (01:15:31):
Yeah, who are you where it?

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
Will there be press to aliab.

Speaker 6 (01:15:38):
She honey, yeah, gotcha, And Brian, I hear it last.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
There'd bet last of podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:15:48):
But honey, no, no, no, Nona please we live in
and Klama lifel celebrities and share it on a favorite
fem bed.

Speaker 2 (01:15:59):
Recipe is but on the no no, no, no autographs,
no manager, I got no autograph.

Speaker 1 (01:16:11):
They are no autograph.