October 31, 2023 • 30 mins
Have mercy! John Stamos and Brooke take a trip down memory lane as they reminisce about their young Hollywood days and their struggle to find legitimacy as actors. John opens up about his early “hatred” of Full House, his past alcohol addiction, and how love letters from his parents inspired him to write a memoir.
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
What do you do when life doesn't go according to
plan that moment you lose a job, or a loved one,
or even a piece of yourself. I'm Brookshields and this
is now What, a podcast about pivotal moments as told
by people who lived them. Each week, I sit down
with a guest to talk about the times they were
knocked off course and what they did to move forward.
(00:27):
Some stories are funny, others are gut wrenching, but all
are unapologetically human and remind us that every success and
every setback is accompanied by a choice, and that choice
answers one question, now.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
What I'm a father because I straightened up like I
couldn't have it, you know, it was better for me
to be older and be established and be clear and
clean and be able to give him everything that he deserved. Well,
he woke up this morning, he was slepting me welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
This morning, and it was really close.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
How old is he now?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Five and a half And his face was right next
to my dad. Yeah, you smell like the bathroom in
my school.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Than thank you, thank thank, thank you for that very much,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
But we were in Paris over August, my birthday. We
were in Greece first, and we were there two days.
And the first day we had this guide who's a
nice older French woman, you know, just a normal and
he didn't really pay to it. Next day, this beautiful
thirty year old French guide shows up and he's like,
he's five and a half and he's wait, you know,
(01:36):
I was never like this, but he was so and
his his move is he says, my goes, so, what's
my favorite color? What's my favorite like he you know,
you got to he's quizzing it, and so I overhear
him talking to this woman and he's saying, so, I
have this girlfriend back at Homer names now.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Just as she gets out of earshot, I swear to you.
He looks at me and goes, why did I tell
her I had a girlfriend? Oh my god, you had
a shot at her.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Kid.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
My guest today is one of a kind.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
John Stamos is an actor, a musician, and author, and,
as it turns out an excellent interview. He and I
met as teenagers and we grew up in this industry,
occasionally crossing paths.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
On TV and in the theater.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
His reputation is a heart throb and America's dreamiest uncle
is easy to understand, but he's also a phenomenal actor,
a drummer for the Beach Boys, a husband and a father,
and an excellent friend. His memoir, If You would Have
Told Me, was one I couldn't put down. I so
appreciated his introspection and his honesty, and I loved reading
(02:44):
more about his journey, the one I had witnessed from Afar. So,
without further ado, here is John Stamos.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
John Stamos, hiber Welcome. I'm so happy you decided to
talk to me.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I love you, and I'm so excited that you asked
me to be on here. I was obsessed with your documentary,
the Hulu one that came out a six months ago.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I can't believe.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I mean, I knew you went through a lot, but
just watching that was like, oh my god, you know,
and then it just made me more proud to know
you and.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Watch the way you've lived your life.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
After when I first met you, up until about right now,
I've had the biggest crush on you.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You were the.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
First superstar girl that I had a crusher that I
ever met.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
And you know where it was.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
It was at a Circus of the Stars, and it's
so crazy. And I had another picture, but I just
found this one.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Oh my god. That was in the hotel room in Vegas.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
No, we weren't in any hotel rooms, all of.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Us thinks on not being creepy. This was at the
forum here in Los Angeles. And were you dating Ted
McGinley or was he just there?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
We were dating?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
He went a problem with me? I sweet, yeah, never
slept with them very you know, well it's not too
you're married.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
But anyway, I just love you and I'm I'm just
grateful that you have me on here today.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And what a great smart idea. Now what thank you?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
And also I mean, I feel like after reading your book,
I have a totally new appreciation.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
For everything that you've done.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
What was the process like, Well, it's very difficult.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I never thought you had a story to tell. I
didn't think I have had one until I started writing
it and being sort of immature about it all, I thought,
like all people want to read about was my sexual conquests,
which aren't that many, and I'm not going to tell
this or that, which was such bullshit.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
And so I was.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I became a father in my mid fifties, and then
Bob died and I wrote this. I wrote this obituary
type story about him in the La Times, and then
agents saw it and said, oh, you got to write
a book. Like no, I don't, And I just could.
I just couldn't fathom. I couldn't imagine.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
You're you know, you went to college. I could.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I went to that little room where you sign up
to go to the college, but I couldn't find I
couldn't find the room. As a local culture, I went
to knox Berry Farm.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Then I came home. That was my school.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
But as I started, I realized, oh, I just discovered
what my story was. I started off with my mom
wrote these beautiful notes.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
They're so sweet and her handwriting is so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I cherished these notes and so that was really a
starting point too, and I could start of put them
together and find a map. And then I started with
that first chapter, which was getting a Dui. And you know,
it turned out like the first sentence was like, pull
over our uncle Jesse, You're fucked up. I was like,
oh man, and that was so hard. And it was
the five stages of grief. Them were booze and sex,
(05:39):
and you know, just everything terrible. And then then I
wrote this the would turn out to be the last chapter.
It was the day I found out about Bob, and
you know, the five stages of grief. There were therapy
and family and exercise and taking care of myself.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So then I just had to figure out how to
get there.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
But I don't know about you, but like when you
start telling your story, you you go like, wow, it
was pretty extraordinary.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
You were forthcoming pretty fast.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It took me, you know, to be honest, the way
you were, and it took me a minute to get there.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
And then I was like, oh, what my mom, I'm
going to do this. I got to, you know, just
do it for real.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Well, I mean, first of all, you you do have
a story. You did have a story, and it's quite evident.
I think we get very comfortable in these industries with
what other people's narrative is of of us, and it
and it's comfortable and it works, and we get approved
of and we get applauded and we get stuff for it,
(06:33):
and you know, and so there's all these little seductive
pieces that allow your ego, I believe, to feel like
it matters. And then when you sit with the honesty
and sweetness of your mother's notes. And you see you
open the book with that duy, the embarrassment, the fear,
(06:54):
the the and and you know you your reaction was
to brink drink an entire bottle of wine and you
kind of go like, see that's the real shit.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
So I think that having difficulty at first just means
that you were getting away from your ego. You were
getting in touch with yourself as a father, yourself as
a friend.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And also playing into what you think people want to hear,
what they think of you. And I went, that's probably
one of the main reasons why I didn't get married
sooner or remarried soon.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
I thought I had to be this playboy.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I thought that I was the guy that people got
to live vicariously through. Now it's my fault because I
play into one hundred because like you said, it was
it's company.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I think I'm a good looking guy.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I got to keep this I wasn't you know, I was,
you know, in bed early, and I stayed away from nobody.
I mean, like the the bon vivante, you know guy,
because I really all I wanted was true love. All
I wanted was what my family my mom and dad had.
All they wanted was a family like that, and thank god,
by the skin of my teeth, I ended up with it.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Well, need a starter marriage because I had one of
those too, So yeah, you need one of those.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Do you think that you would have you? Again?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You opened the book with with the d u I
and it's very it's just like, you know, you really
catch catch people. But do you think that you would
have been able to get truly sober? And I say
that meaning I know the continuity of having to be that.
Do you think you would have been able to had
it had that event not happened?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
No, I probably would have died. I didn't want to.
I didn't I didn't want to kill myself.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I don't know if you've ever felt like this, but
if I died, I was like, Okay, I've done it.
I had a TV show, met Brooke Shields. You know
I could I could die of the Stars Stars what else?
But you know, like, learn from me, people, if you're
if you're listening or watching, like, don't I could have
killed somebody.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Brook. I was fuck it.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I mean to even just talk about now is it
just makes me so sick to my stomach. What a
and a what a failure? I was, you know, to
the universe, Like I was confusing the universe at that moment.
Because I was brought up a certain way. I didn't
have the obstacles that you had. I had both parents,
and my parents were you know, were loving and cool.
You know, they were alcoholic, but they dealt with it
(09:16):
a little better I think than your mom did. I
don't know, but so I had no excuse. And here
I was being the gigantic fuck up that I was
at that moment. So I probably wouldn't have. But I
you know, before I wrote this book, I used to say,
I have regrets. Yeah I wish I didn't do this.
I wish that didn't that, but I should have taken
that role. I didn't do it, And after writing I
was like, no, everything was the way it was supposed
(09:37):
to be because I learned from each of those moments
in my life, and I smart enough to kind of
do better or learn from them and not make the
same mistake.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Hopefully.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I want to kind of jump back a little bit
to you as a as a younger John, you talk
about being a dorky kid, You talk about being the
marching band and loving puppets and magic and Disney.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Who was little? Who is little? Were you Johnny?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, Johnny, who is a little Johnny pretty gawky dorky.
In the book, I have a picture of me with
puppets and there's a girl standing next to me going,
you know, like it was not impressive, And then the
next picture is me playing drunk like I went to
that thinking that, but I remember, you were always beautiful.
I was a caterpillar and then into the butterfly, and
(10:29):
it's all I wanted. I say that I wanted to
be famous, and I did, but I'm more I just
wanted to be liked.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I wanted to be admired or whatever. I was bullied.
You know, A guy punched me and the I had a
black eye, and I had to deal with that. But
then girls started.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
His girl in particular, I wanted to go out with me,
and I ended up going out with her for a
couple of years.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
But then I realized his name a protected name.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Yeah, I changed it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I wanted to dedicate he knows who he is. I
wanted to dedicate the whole book to him, but you know,
they wouldn't have me anyway. I'm kidding but I did.
I do remember every milestone was like, I'm going to
show him. I'm going to play with the beach sports.
I went to invite the show and I'm gonna have
my bodyguards give him a black eye, and no, I'm going.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
To But those kinds of relationships, though, are important in
a driving force, you know. I mean I've had them
in different different ways.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Mine was my you know, my revenge was like I'm
going to get an education to improve all you wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
But how do you do you feel like? I don't know,
but do you feel like you've made it? Like you've
you're a pretty close to a complete human going through
all the stuff that you've gone through.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
And I have finally just started doing things for myself
on my own.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Terms, like what like what not giving a ship?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Like yesterday, I was on the plane and there was
a woman and she was sitting across the aisle from me,
and I was talking to this other lady.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
I was flying five.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Different cities in like two days, and and uh, they
do the sneaky thing when they picked up the camera
and they and they think you're blind and it's right
there and you know, and you're and I had a tequila.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
So I was like, all right.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I was like, lady, guys, I was like, don't say it,
don't say it, don't do it, don't do it.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
And I just said, I said, hey, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I said, you know, if you had asked, I would
have said yes, but it's the sneaking that I just
can't take. And the woman got so embarrassed, to which
then I felt bad. And then I was I was going,
do you want to meet me in the galley and
I'll take a picture with you? And I'm sorry, I've
had a tequila and maybe i'm you know, edgie, I'm tired.
And then she's like, no, no, no, I don't want a picture.
(12:43):
And then I'm going, well, are you sure you don't
want a picture? Why don't we just why don't we
just stand by the bathroom and get a picture. And
then I became insane and the whole thing was a mess.
But it was a moment where I thought like I
would have never said anything.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
I would have just kept my mouth shut.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
And I've gotten to this place where I don't want
to give it all away anymore. I'm proud of my kids,
proud of my twenty five year relationship. You know, I'm
proud of the fact that I'm still able to work.
I'm castable. It wasn't until Broadway that I realized I
had talent, I had balls.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
I was a triple threat.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Cabaret was the greatest thing I ever did. Did you
have the best? Was it your favorite all time?
Speaker 4 (13:25):
It was? It was a revelation to me.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
A wonderful town was more so of a personal.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
I saw you in that.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
That was just personally my personal best.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Cabaret was a struggle the whole time, but it was
one of the first times I really understood myself as
an actress.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, me too, as an actor.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
For me, I had to like, you know, in the beginning,
you know, I was afraid to really go to that
place where you had to go to play the mc or.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
And people were walking out and I'm like, oh shit,
what am I doing? Really said, no, you do it.
That's the good.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
You know.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
That was a time too, As I write as if
she was writing, I found myself in the middle back
then and before general hospital stuff, in the middle of
the cultural issues that were going on. Cabaret was my
first publicist was gay and he was dying of AIDS.
And you know, and his parents didn't accept it. I
was going through, you know, that whole thing. So there's
all these things as I wrote the book that it
(14:21):
came to. But but I'd never been I'd never been
on I never done the theater and I and you know,
I worked with Jack Klugman before Full House and he
was like, get to the data, and I was like,
I never did it before.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
But like everything in my life, like writing a book,
it was like I can't write a book, but you
do it. But I worked really hard at it.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I mean, you've worked constantly since your start. Yeah, but
you've also done the thing that I think people don't
they don't really realize is so important, is that in
order to have longevity in any capacity, you have to
keep working. But this business doesn't design. It is not
design to.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Allow you to keep working. Right now, you said you
didn't want to be on Full House at first. When
did you change her? Why?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Well, well, because look it was it was pitched to
me as Bosom Buddies.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I love that show with Tom Hanks, just Glory and I.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So it was and it was the same producers and
it was like it's Bosom Buddies, but you know, there's
three guys and there's some kids, but they're in the background.
And then I was like, okay, you know, and I'm
you know, I said yes, and then we got it
together and I'll never forget the table read. I went
in thinking like I was the big you know, I
was the star. I came off you know shows, and
the mothers and the.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Sisters were like, oh, Johnson wasn't.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And I sat down at the table and Jody Sweeten
blew the roof off the page and every joke that
she they were laughing so hard that you couldn't even
hear it. And then when it was over, I ran
it was paid phone, So I ran out to the payphone.
I jammed a corner and I was like, get me
off as fucking show.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
It's roper room. I didn't sign up for this. So
I went in kicking his steaming.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
Were you just threat by someone else getting a better
your lack horse?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah, but it was no yes until I learned to
you know, there was quite an evolution.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I'll get too.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
But I just thought it was a kiddie show and
it wasn't for me, and it wasn't sophisticated, and it
wasn't Seinfeld, it wasn't this one. So then we get
into it, and after the first year was I started
to like it a little bit and I had to
give into it because there it was every day. And
I remember some a father coming up to me saying,
you know, this showed me so much to me because
I'm a single dad and I got two daughters, and
(16:30):
your family on there is not the traditional family, but
you're still family.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
So the agents called and said, you know, we're gonna
We're probably not gonna make it, and I said, well, really,
I mean, I said, you hated the show, and I said, well,
I'm starting to now to back up, and here's something
I discovered.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I was already I was madly in love.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
My first love was this actress named Terry Copley, and
I fell mad in love. She was a little older, sophistication,
had a daughter, and I said, I'm a married or
be a stepdad, it's gonna be great.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
I caught her in bed with Tony.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Dance and Brooks jaw just hit the the not just
the desks at the floor and just it's perfect. I
haven't talked about this, but it's in the book, but Anyway,
My point was what happened, and it was the look.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
It was horrible. I don't know if you've been heartbroke.
You probably haven't because you're a heartbreaker, not a heart
no I have.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
That's another show, Jackson who no, no, no, no, no,
Liam Neeson broke.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
I heard you talking about that on Stern right right?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, Liam, Well so but you know what that felt like, right,
and so I was going to took me years to
get over it. Then I'm doing full House. Then it's
it's on the bubble, not gonna get picked up. And
they said, well, we're gonna They're.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Gonna try, John.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
They have an idea to put it on one of
their hits during the summer, and they put us on
after one of their hit shows. We find an audience.
We go back in second season, We've become a hit.
That show was Who's the Boss with Tony Danzer.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
So it all equal.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Well, Time was surprised to hear that you and learned
that you and Bob did not get.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Along famously at first. What do you think that was about.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Bob was a comic and he was addicted, like a
drug addict to laughs, and if he didn't get them.
He would go make the crew laugh, and that was
terribly distracting if I came in approaching every scene with
story and why character and why would I say this?
And I wouldn't move over there, you know, and Bob
was just trying to make everyone laugh, and it was
very distracting to me, and I probably was, you know,
(18:31):
dampened his process too. But we finally came around, truthfully
when his sister, Sclaire Durham, Dave's sister had a terrible
cancer and my sister had a brain tumor, and all
of a sudden we became brothers. You know, that we
that we're going to lose their sisters. Fortunately my sister
made it out there didn't And it was the moment
(18:52):
where we put everything aside and really bonded. And but
I didn't. Jeff Franklin was over here the other day.
He's writing a book. He was asking he's the creator
full hub.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
He said, when did you When did you just.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Let go and like the show? And I said, not
until I wrote this book. The critics got to me
right and and now I go, you know what, guys,
you're smarter than me.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
I know it's fascial. I know it's silly at times.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I know it was, you know whatever, But what you
missed is right below all that is heard and it
and and and that's when the brain steps aside and
lets you fully feel something. And you they weren't incapable
of doing that. I guess what the show wasn't meant
for you.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
But listen also, you know people that that reach any
level of success in any of these shows and then
decide they're going to like shit on the show and
and be like look down upon it. I've I lou I.
It just irks me so much because you know what,
then don't do it right, don't do it. And the
critics are critics because that's what they do. They they
(19:52):
are critics, and that it doesn't behoove them.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
But see I had all the same side in art,
but but that is that's it, like we did. We
had that same thing. And did you feel like you're
trying so hard to prove to prove and then when
you finally let it go, you know I was doing
I did The Best Man with James Earl Jones and
it was hands down the greatest. You know, he's who
was the greatest living I don't know if you've met him,
but he's just a powerful genius. And to be on
(20:18):
stage with him two night after night it was a
three hours Gorbidal show, very real, very serious. And the
last night he liked to go work on pieces of
bits and scenes and stuff. And it was closing the
next day, and the night before he wanted to work
on something. But the last they were walking across the
stage and the show was done, and the guys were
ticking stuff down, and I think people knew it was
the last time that the two of us would have
(20:39):
be alone, so people got away from us.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And I said, James, I used to.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Call hi big Dad, big Daddy, And yeah, little John,
I said, you gave me something that no one.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
You gave me legitimacy.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Standing on that stage with you, I finally feel that
the people out there in this world will look at
me and say, John stain Was.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
You're a real actor. We walk out and open the
stage door and all the people are out there. I
got Jessey, Uncle Jessey, say.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Max, and I wanted to I couldn't look at him,
and I wanted to find a way to crawl in
between some legs and run on Broadway and just as
I was feeling the most embarrassed, I look over and
somebody has a phone out James, Joe, could you say, Luke,
I am your father?
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Could you say, Luke, I am your father? And we
looked at each other.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I was like, Okay, yeah, fuck it, I don't care
call me uncle, you know, And that was a big
relief to me, a revelation.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
We call this show now What because it is about
those times in our lives when something happens. It could
be good, it can be bad, and we're left thinking like.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Oh shit, what do I do now?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
You know, if you had to pick one moment that
really changed you, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
You know? I was trying to think of that because
of because that's the theme of your show. But I
think maybe turning sixty, I have every thing I want,
like I really want it rightly. You know what happened
to the kid who got everything he wanted? He lived
happily around here.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
I'm at that point.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
But I have to you know, I have to respect it,
and I have to be the best father and the
best husband and the best human. When things really clicked
for me is when I turn it on the gratitude,
when the gratitude just pouring out of me.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Gratitude, gratitude.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Thank God I'm still alive, thank God I have a family,
thank God, I'm so grateful.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Every day.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
For a long time, I would write it by gratitude,
you know, my list out what could be simple things.
Then I just started to feel it. Now I have
some friends you might know that. Every morning it's like,
g what we're grateful for, what our fears are? And
a what's our attribute today?
Speaker 3 (22:43):
What are we going to do?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Is there a pivotal moment in your life, because you're
clearly in a very healthy, different place now, was there
a pivotal moment that made you really realize that you
wanted to find gratitude and feel differently?
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I think sobering up was it for me?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Was it a long process or was it did you
fall off the wagon again?
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Did you go back and forth?
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Or when it? When it happened?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
And you know, we started this deal with talking about that,
du I d like, you know, could I have straightened.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Out with that or maybe not?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
But I think it once I could admit that I
had an issue and it was, you know, preventing me
from the life that I always dreamed about. Then it
kind of all fell into place and I had I
got out of I went to rehab and that was,
you know, was it was expensive. So I said, I'm
going to put all into this if it doesn't work,
and it were and then I came out, you know,
(23:37):
and I was very lucky. I had a television stuff
waiting for me, and then I met Caitlyn about a
year later, and it was just like I got to
stay on this path.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
And and that's that's probably why now you're the father
and husband fully realized or or or in the process
always of being fully realized. To me, it's it's a
lifelong endeavor. What kind of father do you feel you
are because of your entire past?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Right, Well, I'm a father because I straightened up, like
I couldn't have it. You know, I was drinking and
you know I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
The great luckily for me, and it's it's hard for
women obviously because of the time, you know, the time clock.
But you know, it was better for me to be
older and be established and be clear and clean and
be able to give him everything that he you know, deserved.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Well and as a as a parent, now you probably
what do you appreciate about your parents that like you
didn't before?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Yeah, almost so much. I more than the you know,
the kindness.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
My mom was so kind and she would she would
look at someone and whatever, whatever their good part was,
that's what defined them to her. And I would be
like mom, like come on, Like would be in a restaurant.
She would lather on these compliments and make someone feel
really good, like come on, mother, And that's you know,
that's me now. But I do wish that they were
still around because I have you know, you have questions.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Do you go like this, am I doing this right?
What do I do about that?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Well?
Speaker 3 (25:03):
How was I when I was you know, five and
a half. Stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
It's weird to lose both parents and relatively young. You
feel orphaned in a way. And the things that have
made me the saddest is my girls not knowing my dad, Like.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Did you know he was that at all? I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
He's so so well the yeah I was the last
call that was made.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
How old were you when he died?
Speaker 4 (25:29):
He was? He died at sixty two, and I was
I was thirty.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah, I was right just before I had rowan, So
I was thirty seven and then My mom died in
twenty twelve, but she had dementia her so I sort
of just watched her for a few years, you know.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
But that's that.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
My dad was just so beautiful and so larger than
life and so funny. My dad never saw any movie
I was in. The Only thing that he saw me
was in theater. He came to every Broadway show, and
then when he was dying, he asked me for VHS
tapes of all my suddenly susans.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
How did it feel your dad being in the theater
like seeingior shows?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
To me, that was to look at me.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Like that, my mom not seeing my mom as much,
because you know, she was just always there and always
couldn't get you know, couldn't get enough of me. And
but my dad, it was this was something he could see,
and you know, doing cabaret and being that provocative in
(26:40):
front of Daddy was a little bit of a a
little bit of a blew my mind, just a little bit.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
He'd be like, Jesus Christ, you're wearing your underwear on
that stage. But yeah, yeah, I don't think my dad
could have saw me in cabaret sparkly nippleson, I don't think.
But he saw me and how to succeed and that,
and he told my mom that was the proudest moment
life and any cry sweet, so you know. But yeah,
and my mom saying like if she came to see
(27:07):
me Cabaret, like if she was going to stay for
three wheiks, she was at every single show, she wrote,
you probably saw it, she wrote. She would write up
something on the wall, good luck, good love you, mama,
stamos and stuff.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
And so what would it feel like having them witnessed
something that is so hard and and is so important
and so difficult, And what was it like for them
to witness that?
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Well? I always wanted to. I always wanted to make
my dad proud of you, you know.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
And he was a tough greet not tough, but he
was you know, he was you know, he used to
he loved to cook and he would make you know,
barbecue for all the TV shows and stuff, and they
would people would come over and say, oh, we don't
eat meat, we don't, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
He got so they do cocaine, but they can't eat
meat these Hollywood. But so he was the kind of
like that.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
But to see him ever if he ever sort of
got soft and cry, you know, so when he cried
when he saw me and have succeed that man a lot.
He you know, when he had a stroke in Vegas
airport and didn't and they tried to get him, you know,
pump them, and he didn't. His oxygen was too long.
(28:12):
But he was in a coma for like six months,
which was you know, I don't know if it was
better or worse. But he lived at the house and
I and I found this. I was did a movie
in Yugoslavia and he they came over here there and
when he got home, this was a long long time ago,
and he wrote out this. He very didn't write very much,
but he wrote very good handwriting, and he wrote this
note and facts it to me. Okay, so I can
(28:34):
sort of forgot about it. But when he was dying,
I went into his room and he was a very humble,
didn't have it. I was looking for a watch. He
had some crappy time acts or something. But then I
moved some shirts around. I saw the bottom of this
letter that's up there, and it said I love you Dad,
And I was like, my heart stopped, So what is this?
And I pull and it was the original letter that
he wrote in facts, and he lays out a B
(28:56):
and c's a. You know, the way he treated people
was really crowd you know. B My chest was swelling
to sixty inches. And she says, man doesn't have many
great moments in his life, but you have given me many.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
I love you. Oh oh yeah, God, okay, right well,
she wanted to bring the room now one.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
God, I love talking to you.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Thanks for having I love talking to you. Let's make
a plan.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I would I would love it.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Let's have a double day to do it.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Let's go to the theater together. I'm going to Let's
go to the theater.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Let's toast Bob.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
And all the wonderful people are heroes. Let me love you,
mom My, mom my, mom and dad.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
Absolutely, Brook, I love you.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
This was really a special time to talk to you,
and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
That was the wonderful John Stamos. And if you loved
this interview as much as I did, go pick up
a copy of his new book. If you would have
told me, you'll be happy you did. That's it for
us today. Talk to you next week.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Now.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
What with Burke Shields is a production of iHeartRadio. Our
lead producer and Wonderful. Showrunner is Julia Weaver. Additional research
and editing by Darby Masters and Abu zafar Our. Executive
producer is Christina Everett. The show is mixed by Baheed Fraser.
What do you do when life doesn't go according to
plan that moment you lose a job, or a loved one,
or even a piece of yourself. I'm Brookshields and this
is now What, a podcast about pivotal moments as told
by people who lived them. Each week, I sit down
with a guest to talk about the times they were
knocked off course and what they did to move forward.
(00:27):
Some stories are funny, others are gut wrenching, but all
are unapologetically human and remind us that every success and
every setback is accompanied by a choice, and that choice
answers one question, now.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
What I'm a father because I straightened up like I
couldn't have it, you know, it was better for me
to be older and be established and be clear and
clean and be able to give him everything that he deserved. Well,
he woke up this morning, he was slepting me welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
This morning, and it was really close.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
How old is he now?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Five and a half And his face was right next
to my dad. Yeah, you smell like the bathroom in
my school.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Than thank you, thank thank, thank you for that very much,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
But we were in Paris over August, my birthday. We
were in Greece first, and we were there two days.
And the first day we had this guide who's a
nice older French woman, you know, just a normal and
he didn't really pay to it. Next day, this beautiful
thirty year old French guide shows up and he's like,
he's five and a half and he's wait, you know,
(01:36):
I was never like this, but he was so and
his his move is he says, my goes, so, what's
my favorite color? What's my favorite like he you know,
you got to he's quizzing it, and so I overhear
him talking to this woman and he's saying, so, I
have this girlfriend back at Homer names now.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Just as she gets out of earshot, I swear to you.
He looks at me and goes, why did I tell
her I had a girlfriend? Oh my god, you had
a shot at her.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Kid.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
My guest today is one of a kind.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
John Stamos is an actor, a musician, and author, and,
as it turns out an excellent interview. He and I
met as teenagers and we grew up in this industry,
occasionally crossing paths.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
On TV and in the theater.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
His reputation is a heart throb and America's dreamiest uncle
is easy to understand, but he's also a phenomenal actor,
a drummer for the Beach Boys, a husband and a father,
and an excellent friend. His memoir, If You would Have
Told Me, was one I couldn't put down. I so
appreciated his introspection and his honesty, and I loved reading
(02:44):
more about his journey, the one I had witnessed from Afar. So,
without further ado, here is John Stamos.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
John Stamos, hiber Welcome. I'm so happy you decided to
talk to me.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I love you, and I'm so excited that you asked
me to be on here. I was obsessed with your documentary,
the Hulu one that came out a six months ago.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I can't believe.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I mean, I knew you went through a lot, but
just watching that was like, oh my god, you know,
and then it just made me more proud to know
you and.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Watch the way you've lived your life.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
After when I first met you, up until about right now,
I've had the biggest crush on you.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You were the.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
First superstar girl that I had a crusher that I
ever met.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
And you know where it was.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
It was at a Circus of the Stars, and it's
so crazy. And I had another picture, but I just
found this one.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Oh my god. That was in the hotel room in Vegas.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
No, we weren't in any hotel rooms, all of.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Us thinks on not being creepy. This was at the
forum here in Los Angeles. And were you dating Ted
McGinley or was he just there?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
We were dating?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
He went a problem with me? I sweet, yeah, never
slept with them very you know, well it's not too
you're married.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
But anyway, I just love you and I'm I'm just
grateful that you have me on here today.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And what a great smart idea. Now what thank you?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
And also I mean, I feel like after reading your book,
I have a totally new appreciation.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
For everything that you've done.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
What was the process like, Well, it's very difficult.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I never thought you had a story to tell. I
didn't think I have had one until I started writing
it and being sort of immature about it all, I thought,
like all people want to read about was my sexual conquests,
which aren't that many, and I'm not going to tell
this or that, which was such bullshit.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
And so I was.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I became a father in my mid fifties, and then
Bob died and I wrote this. I wrote this obituary
type story about him in the La Times, and then
agents saw it and said, oh, you got to write
a book. Like no, I don't, And I just could.
I just couldn't fathom. I couldn't imagine.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
You're you know, you went to college. I could.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I went to that little room where you sign up
to go to the college, but I couldn't find I
couldn't find the room. As a local culture, I went
to knox Berry Farm.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Then I came home. That was my school.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
But as I started, I realized, oh, I just discovered
what my story was. I started off with my mom
wrote these beautiful notes.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
They're so sweet and her handwriting is so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I cherished these notes and so that was really a
starting point too, and I could start of put them
together and find a map. And then I started with
that first chapter, which was getting a Dui. And you know,
it turned out like the first sentence was like, pull
over our uncle Jesse, You're fucked up. I was like,
oh man, and that was so hard. And it was
the five stages of grief. Them were booze and sex,
(05:39):
and you know, just everything terrible. And then then I
wrote this the would turn out to be the last chapter.
It was the day I found out about Bob, and
you know, the five stages of grief. There were therapy
and family and exercise and taking care of myself.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So then I just had to figure out how to
get there.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
But I don't know about you, but like when you
start telling your story, you you go like, wow, it
was pretty extraordinary.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
You were forthcoming pretty fast.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It took me, you know, to be honest, the way
you were, and it took me a minute to get there.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
And then I was like, oh, what my mom, I'm
going to do this. I got to, you know, just
do it for real.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Well, I mean, first of all, you you do have
a story. You did have a story, and it's quite evident.
I think we get very comfortable in these industries with
what other people's narrative is of of us, and it
and it's comfortable and it works, and we get approved
of and we get applauded and we get stuff for it,
(06:33):
and you know, and so there's all these little seductive
pieces that allow your ego, I believe, to feel like
it matters. And then when you sit with the honesty
and sweetness of your mother's notes. And you see you
open the book with that duy, the embarrassment, the fear,
(06:54):
the the and and you know you your reaction was
to brink drink an entire bottle of wine and you
kind of go like, see that's the real shit.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
So I think that having difficulty at first just means
that you were getting away from your ego. You were
getting in touch with yourself as a father, yourself as
a friend.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And also playing into what you think people want to hear,
what they think of you. And I went, that's probably
one of the main reasons why I didn't get married
sooner or remarried soon.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
I thought I had to be this playboy.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I thought that I was the guy that people got
to live vicariously through. Now it's my fault because I
play into one hundred because like you said, it was
it's company.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I think I'm a good looking guy.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I got to keep this I wasn't you know, I was,
you know, in bed early, and I stayed away from nobody.
I mean, like the the bon vivante, you know guy,
because I really all I wanted was true love. All
I wanted was what my family my mom and dad had.
All they wanted was a family like that, and thank god,
by the skin of my teeth, I ended up with it.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Well, need a starter marriage because I had one of
those too, So yeah, you need one of those.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Do you think that you would have you? Again?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You opened the book with with the d u I
and it's very it's just like, you know, you really
catch catch people. But do you think that you would
have been able to get truly sober? And I say
that meaning I know the continuity of having to be that.
Do you think you would have been able to had
it had that event not happened?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
No, I probably would have died. I didn't want to.
I didn't I didn't want to kill myself.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I don't know if you've ever felt like this, but
if I died, I was like, Okay, I've done it.
I had a TV show, met Brooke Shields. You know
I could I could die of the Stars Stars what else?
But you know, like, learn from me, people, if you're
if you're listening or watching, like, don't I could have
killed somebody.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Brook. I was fuck it.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I mean to even just talk about now is it
just makes me so sick to my stomach. What a
and a what a failure? I was, you know, to
the universe, Like I was confusing the universe at that moment.
Because I was brought up a certain way. I didn't
have the obstacles that you had. I had both parents,
and my parents were you know, were loving and cool.
You know, they were alcoholic, but they dealt with it
(09:16):
a little better I think than your mom did. I
don't know, but so I had no excuse. And here
I was being the gigantic fuck up that I was
at that moment. So I probably wouldn't have. But I
you know, before I wrote this book, I used to say,
I have regrets. Yeah I wish I didn't do this.
I wish that didn't that, but I should have taken
that role. I didn't do it, And after writing I
was like, no, everything was the way it was supposed
(09:37):
to be because I learned from each of those moments
in my life, and I smart enough to kind of
do better or learn from them and not make the
same mistake.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Hopefully.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I want to kind of jump back a little bit
to you as a as a younger John, you talk
about being a dorky kid, You talk about being the
marching band and loving puppets and magic and Disney.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Who was little? Who is little? Were you Johnny?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, Johnny, who is a little Johnny pretty gawky dorky.
In the book, I have a picture of me with
puppets and there's a girl standing next to me going,
you know, like it was not impressive, And then the
next picture is me playing drunk like I went to
that thinking that, but I remember, you were always beautiful.
I was a caterpillar and then into the butterfly, and
(10:29):
it's all I wanted. I say that I wanted to
be famous, and I did, but I'm more I just
wanted to be liked.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I wanted to be admired or whatever. I was bullied.
You know, A guy punched me and the I had a
black eye, and I had to deal with that. But
then girls started.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
His girl in particular, I wanted to go out with me,
and I ended up going out with her for a
couple of years.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
But then I realized his name a protected name.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Yeah, I changed it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I wanted to dedicate he knows who he is. I
wanted to dedicate the whole book to him, but you know,
they wouldn't have me anyway. I'm kidding but I did.
I do remember every milestone was like, I'm going to
show him. I'm going to play with the beach sports.
I went to invite the show and I'm gonna have
my bodyguards give him a black eye, and no, I'm going.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
To But those kinds of relationships, though, are important in
a driving force, you know. I mean I've had them
in different different ways.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Mine was my you know, my revenge was like I'm
going to get an education to improve all you wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
But how do you do you feel like? I don't know,
but do you feel like you've made it? Like you've
you're a pretty close to a complete human going through
all the stuff that you've gone through.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
And I have finally just started doing things for myself
on my own.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Terms, like what like what not giving a ship?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Like yesterday, I was on the plane and there was
a woman and she was sitting across the aisle from me,
and I was talking to this other lady.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
I was flying five.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Different cities in like two days, and and uh, they
do the sneaky thing when they picked up the camera
and they and they think you're blind and it's right
there and you know, and you're and I had a tequila.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
So I was like, all right.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I was like, lady, guys, I was like, don't say it,
don't say it, don't do it, don't do it.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
And I just said, I said, hey, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I said, you know, if you had asked, I would
have said yes, but it's the sneaking that I just
can't take. And the woman got so embarrassed, to which
then I felt bad. And then I was I was going,
do you want to meet me in the galley and
I'll take a picture with you? And I'm sorry, I've
had a tequila and maybe i'm you know, edgie, I'm tired.
And then she's like, no, no, no, I don't want a picture.
(12:43):
And then I'm going, well, are you sure you don't
want a picture? Why don't we just why don't we
just stand by the bathroom and get a picture. And
then I became insane and the whole thing was a mess.
But it was a moment where I thought like I
would have never said anything.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
I would have just kept my mouth shut.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
And I've gotten to this place where I don't want
to give it all away anymore. I'm proud of my kids,
proud of my twenty five year relationship. You know, I'm
proud of the fact that I'm still able to work.
I'm castable. It wasn't until Broadway that I realized I
had talent, I had balls.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
I was a triple threat.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Cabaret was the greatest thing I ever did. Did you
have the best? Was it your favorite all time?
Speaker 4 (13:25):
It was? It was a revelation to me.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
A wonderful town was more so of a personal.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
I saw you in that.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
That was just personally my personal best.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Cabaret was a struggle the whole time, but it was
one of the first times I really understood myself as
an actress.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, me too, as an actor.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
For me, I had to like, you know, in the beginning,
you know, I was afraid to really go to that
place where you had to go to play the mc or.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
And people were walking out and I'm like, oh shit,
what am I doing? Really said, no, you do it.
That's the good.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
You know.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
That was a time too, As I write as if
she was writing, I found myself in the middle back
then and before general hospital stuff, in the middle of
the cultural issues that were going on. Cabaret was my
first publicist was gay and he was dying of AIDS.
And you know, and his parents didn't accept it. I
was going through, you know, that whole thing. So there's
all these things as I wrote the book that it
(14:21):
came to. But but I'd never been I'd never been
on I never done the theater and I and you know,
I worked with Jack Klugman before Full House and he
was like, get to the data, and I was like,
I never did it before.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
But like everything in my life, like writing a book,
it was like I can't write a book, but you
do it. But I worked really hard at it.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I mean, you've worked constantly since your start. Yeah, but
you've also done the thing that I think people don't
they don't really realize is so important, is that in
order to have longevity in any capacity, you have to
keep working. But this business doesn't design. It is not
design to.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Allow you to keep working. Right now, you said you
didn't want to be on Full House at first. When
did you change her? Why?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Well, well, because look it was it was pitched to
me as Bosom Buddies.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I love that show with Tom Hanks, just Glory and I.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So it was and it was the same producers and
it was like it's Bosom Buddies, but you know, there's
three guys and there's some kids, but they're in the background.
And then I was like, okay, you know, and I'm
you know, I said yes, and then we got it
together and I'll never forget the table read. I went
in thinking like I was the big you know, I
was the star. I came off you know shows, and
the mothers and the.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Sisters were like, oh, Johnson wasn't.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And I sat down at the table and Jody Sweeten
blew the roof off the page and every joke that
she they were laughing so hard that you couldn't even
hear it. And then when it was over, I ran
it was paid phone, So I ran out to the payphone.
I jammed a corner and I was like, get me
off as fucking show.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
It's roper room. I didn't sign up for this. So
I went in kicking his steaming.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
Were you just threat by someone else getting a better
your lack horse?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah, but it was no yes until I learned to
you know, there was quite an evolution.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I'll get too.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
But I just thought it was a kiddie show and
it wasn't for me, and it wasn't sophisticated, and it
wasn't Seinfeld, it wasn't this one. So then we get
into it, and after the first year was I started
to like it a little bit and I had to
give into it because there it was every day. And
I remember some a father coming up to me saying,
you know, this showed me so much to me because
I'm a single dad and I got two daughters, and
(16:30):
your family on there is not the traditional family, but
you're still family.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
So the agents called and said, you know, we're gonna
We're probably not gonna make it, and I said, well, really,
I mean, I said, you hated the show, and I said, well,
I'm starting to now to back up, and here's something
I discovered.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I was already I was madly in love.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
My first love was this actress named Terry Copley, and
I fell mad in love. She was a little older, sophistication,
had a daughter, and I said, I'm a married or
be a stepdad, it's gonna be great.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
I caught her in bed with Tony.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Dance and Brooks jaw just hit the the not just
the desks at the floor and just it's perfect. I
haven't talked about this, but it's in the book, but Anyway,
My point was what happened, and it was the look.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
It was horrible. I don't know if you've been heartbroke.
You probably haven't because you're a heartbreaker, not a heart
no I have.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
That's another show, Jackson who no, no, no, no, no,
Liam Neeson broke.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
I heard you talking about that on Stern right right?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, Liam, Well so but you know what that felt like, right,
and so I was going to took me years to
get over it. Then I'm doing full House. Then it's
it's on the bubble, not gonna get picked up. And
they said, well, we're gonna They're.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Gonna try, John.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
They have an idea to put it on one of
their hits during the summer, and they put us on
after one of their hit shows. We find an audience.
We go back in second season, We've become a hit.
That show was Who's the Boss with Tony Danzer.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
So it all equal.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Well, Time was surprised to hear that you and learned
that you and Bob did not get.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Along famously at first. What do you think that was about.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Bob was a comic and he was addicted, like a
drug addict to laughs, and if he didn't get them.
He would go make the crew laugh, and that was
terribly distracting if I came in approaching every scene with
story and why character and why would I say this?
And I wouldn't move over there, you know, and Bob
was just trying to make everyone laugh, and it was
very distracting to me, and I probably was, you know,
(18:31):
dampened his process too. But we finally came around, truthfully
when his sister, Sclaire Durham, Dave's sister had a terrible
cancer and my sister had a brain tumor, and all
of a sudden we became brothers. You know, that we
that we're going to lose their sisters. Fortunately my sister
made it out there didn't And it was the moment
(18:52):
where we put everything aside and really bonded. And but
I didn't. Jeff Franklin was over here the other day.
He's writing a book. He was asking he's the creator
full hub.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
He said, when did you When did you just.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Let go and like the show? And I said, not
until I wrote this book. The critics got to me
right and and now I go, you know what, guys,
you're smarter than me.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
I know it's fascial. I know it's silly at times.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I know it was, you know whatever, But what you
missed is right below all that is heard and it
and and and that's when the brain steps aside and
lets you fully feel something. And you they weren't incapable
of doing that. I guess what the show wasn't meant
for you.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
But listen also, you know people that that reach any
level of success in any of these shows and then
decide they're going to like shit on the show and
and be like look down upon it. I've I lou I.
It just irks me so much because you know what,
then don't do it right, don't do it. And the
critics are critics because that's what they do. They they
(19:52):
are critics, and that it doesn't behoove them.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
But see I had all the same side in art,
but but that is that's it, like we did. We
had that same thing. And did you feel like you're
trying so hard to prove to prove and then when
you finally let it go, you know I was doing
I did The Best Man with James Earl Jones and
it was hands down the greatest. You know, he's who
was the greatest living I don't know if you've met him,
but he's just a powerful genius. And to be on
(20:18):
stage with him two night after night it was a
three hours Gorbidal show, very real, very serious. And the
last night he liked to go work on pieces of
bits and scenes and stuff. And it was closing the
next day, and the night before he wanted to work
on something. But the last they were walking across the
stage and the show was done, and the guys were
ticking stuff down, and I think people knew it was
the last time that the two of us would have
(20:39):
be alone, so people got away from us.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And I said, James, I used to.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Call hi big Dad, big Daddy, And yeah, little John,
I said, you gave me something that no one.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
You gave me legitimacy.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Standing on that stage with you, I finally feel that
the people out there in this world will look at
me and say, John stain Was.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
You're a real actor. We walk out and open the
stage door and all the people are out there. I
got Jessey, Uncle Jessey, say.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Max, and I wanted to I couldn't look at him,
and I wanted to find a way to crawl in
between some legs and run on Broadway and just as
I was feeling the most embarrassed, I look over and
somebody has a phone out James, Joe, could you say, Luke,
I am your father?
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Could you say, Luke, I am your father? And we
looked at each other.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I was like, Okay, yeah, fuck it, I don't care
call me uncle, you know, And that was a big
relief to me, a revelation.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
We call this show now What because it is about
those times in our lives when something happens. It could
be good, it can be bad, and we're left thinking like.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Oh shit, what do I do now?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
You know, if you had to pick one moment that
really changed you, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
You know? I was trying to think of that because
of because that's the theme of your show. But I
think maybe turning sixty, I have every thing I want,
like I really want it rightly. You know what happened
to the kid who got everything he wanted? He lived
happily around here.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
I'm at that point.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
But I have to you know, I have to respect it,
and I have to be the best father and the
best husband and the best human. When things really clicked
for me is when I turn it on the gratitude,
when the gratitude just pouring out of me.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Gratitude, gratitude.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Thank God I'm still alive, thank God I have a family,
thank God, I'm so grateful.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Every day.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
For a long time, I would write it by gratitude,
you know, my list out what could be simple things.
Then I just started to feel it. Now I have
some friends you might know that. Every morning it's like,
g what we're grateful for, what our fears are? And
a what's our attribute today?
Speaker 3 (22:43):
What are we going to do?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Is there a pivotal moment in your life, because you're
clearly in a very healthy, different place now, was there
a pivotal moment that made you really realize that you
wanted to find gratitude and feel differently?
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I think sobering up was it for me?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Was it a long process or was it did you
fall off the wagon again?
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Did you go back and forth?
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Or when it? When it happened?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
And you know, we started this deal with talking about that,
du I d like, you know, could I have straightened.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Out with that or maybe not?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
But I think it once I could admit that I
had an issue and it was, you know, preventing me
from the life that I always dreamed about. Then it
kind of all fell into place and I had I
got out of I went to rehab and that was,
you know, was it was expensive. So I said, I'm
going to put all into this if it doesn't work,
and it were and then I came out, you know,
(23:37):
and I was very lucky. I had a television stuff
waiting for me, and then I met Caitlyn about a
year later, and it was just like I got to
stay on this path.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
And and that's that's probably why now you're the father
and husband fully realized or or or in the process
always of being fully realized. To me, it's it's a
lifelong endeavor. What kind of father do you feel you
are because of your entire past?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Right, Well, I'm a father because I straightened up, like
I couldn't have it. You know, I was drinking and
you know I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
The great luckily for me, and it's it's hard for
women obviously because of the time, you know, the time clock.
But you know, it was better for me to be
older and be established and be clear and clean and
be able to give him everything that he you know, deserved.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Well and as a as a parent, now you probably
what do you appreciate about your parents that like you
didn't before?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Yeah, almost so much. I more than the you know,
the kindness.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
My mom was so kind and she would she would
look at someone and whatever, whatever their good part was,
that's what defined them to her. And I would be
like mom, like come on, Like would be in a restaurant.
She would lather on these compliments and make someone feel
really good, like come on, mother, And that's you know,
that's me now. But I do wish that they were
still around because I have you know, you have questions.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Do you go like this, am I doing this right?
What do I do about that?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Well?
Speaker 3 (25:03):
How was I when I was you know, five and
a half. Stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
It's weird to lose both parents and relatively young. You
feel orphaned in a way. And the things that have
made me the saddest is my girls not knowing my dad, Like.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Did you know he was that at all? I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
He's so so well the yeah I was the last
call that was made.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
How old were you when he died?
Speaker 4 (25:29):
He was? He died at sixty two, and I was
I was thirty.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah, I was right just before I had rowan, So
I was thirty seven and then My mom died in
twenty twelve, but she had dementia her so I sort
of just watched her for a few years, you know.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
But that's that.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
My dad was just so beautiful and so larger than
life and so funny. My dad never saw any movie
I was in. The Only thing that he saw me
was in theater. He came to every Broadway show, and
then when he was dying, he asked me for VHS
tapes of all my suddenly susans.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
How did it feel your dad being in the theater
like seeingior shows?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
To me, that was to look at me.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Like that, my mom not seeing my mom as much,
because you know, she was just always there and always
couldn't get you know, couldn't get enough of me. And
but my dad, it was this was something he could see,
and you know, doing cabaret and being that provocative in
(26:40):
front of Daddy was a little bit of a a
little bit of a blew my mind, just a little bit.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
He'd be like, Jesus Christ, you're wearing your underwear on
that stage. But yeah, yeah, I don't think my dad
could have saw me in cabaret sparkly nippleson, I don't think.
But he saw me and how to succeed and that,
and he told my mom that was the proudest moment
life and any cry sweet, so you know. But yeah,
and my mom saying like if she came to see
(27:07):
me Cabaret, like if she was going to stay for
three wheiks, she was at every single show, she wrote,
you probably saw it, she wrote. She would write up
something on the wall, good luck, good love you, mama,
stamos and stuff.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
And so what would it feel like having them witnessed
something that is so hard and and is so important
and so difficult, And what was it like for them
to witness that?
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Well? I always wanted to. I always wanted to make
my dad proud of you, you know.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
And he was a tough greet not tough, but he
was you know, he was you know, he used to
he loved to cook and he would make you know,
barbecue for all the TV shows and stuff, and they
would people would come over and say, oh, we don't
eat meat, we don't, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
He got so they do cocaine, but they can't eat
meat these Hollywood. But so he was the kind of
like that.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
But to see him ever if he ever sort of
got soft and cry, you know, so when he cried
when he saw me and have succeed that man a lot.
He you know, when he had a stroke in Vegas
airport and didn't and they tried to get him, you know,
pump them, and he didn't. His oxygen was too long.
(28:12):
But he was in a coma for like six months,
which was you know, I don't know if it was
better or worse. But he lived at the house and
I and I found this. I was did a movie
in Yugoslavia and he they came over here there and
when he got home, this was a long long time ago,
and he wrote out this. He very didn't write very much,
but he wrote very good handwriting, and he wrote this
note and facts it to me. Okay, so I can
(28:34):
sort of forgot about it. But when he was dying,
I went into his room and he was a very humble,
didn't have it. I was looking for a watch. He
had some crappy time acts or something. But then I
moved some shirts around. I saw the bottom of this
letter that's up there, and it said I love you Dad,
And I was like, my heart stopped, So what is this?
And I pull and it was the original letter that
he wrote in facts, and he lays out a B
(28:56):
and c's a. You know, the way he treated people
was really crowd you know. B My chest was swelling
to sixty inches. And she says, man doesn't have many
great moments in his life, but you have given me many.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
I love you. Oh oh yeah, God, okay, right well,
she wanted to bring the room now one.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
God, I love talking to you.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Thanks for having I love talking to you. Let's make
a plan.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I would I would love it.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Let's have a double day to do it.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Let's go to the theater together. I'm going to Let's
go to the theater.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Let's toast Bob.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
And all the wonderful people are heroes. Let me love you,
mom My, mom my, mom and dad.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
Absolutely, Brook, I love you.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
This was really a special time to talk to you,
and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
That was the wonderful John Stamos. And if you loved
this interview as much as I did, go pick up
a copy of his new book. If you would have
told me, you'll be happy you did. That's it for
us today. Talk to you next week.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Now.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
What with Burke Shields is a production of iHeartRadio. Our
lead producer and Wonderful. Showrunner is Julia Weaver. Additional research
and editing by Darby Masters and Abu zafar Our. Executive
producer is Christina Everett. The show is mixed by Baheed Fraser.
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