Jeezy on Trauma, Fame, Prison, Tupac & Becoming a Man | NXT Chapter With T.D. Jakes - NXT Chapter with T.D. Jakes

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
When people hear me speak about like when I went
through my mom and all this stuff, They're like, oh,
you went into a relationship with marriage with mommy issues.
I had been working on that stuff, so that had
nothing to do with my timeline with my marriage.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello everybody, I'm excited to invite you to the next
session of Next Chapter podcast. This one is going to
be unlike any other one that we have done in
the past. So sit back and prepare your hearts for
a very very special guest that I have to share
with you today with an interesting, profound, prolific life. Let

(00:37):
me tell you a little bit about my guest. Today's
guest is a multi platinum selling artist and New York
Times bestseller author, known to many as a legend and
to all as a rap superstar beyond the mic. He's
a hip hop mogul who built an empower a philanthropists,
a businessman from the neighborhood to the boardroom and even

(01:01):
the White House, dedicating himself to empowering youth, uplifting underserved communities,
and giving back every step of the way. The one
the only geez I don't know where to start? Your
life reads like a roller coaster it's got ups and

(01:25):
downs and twists and turns, and it's an amazing journey.
So we're getting ready to go on a journey. We're
going to go on a journey with you and perhaps
glean some staying power and some resurrecting power that we
can share with other young people and other people around
the world who beat the dogs, because you certainly beat

(01:47):
the dogs. Chapter number one, Sea World. As kid, you
were raised, I was told in South Carolina, but raised
in Georgia.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Born in South Carolina, born, and you're born in South Carolina,
born in South Carolina. Moved abroad rather early, Okay, So
I lived in Japan, Okay. And I lived in Hawaii, Okay.
And uh, that's pretty much where my childhood was at.
So my chopstick game is insane, crazy.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
You got to help me. I'm not too good. I'm
a little embarrassing the Fords. Now, I still got the
forts out.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
And so when my parents divorced, we moved back to
Georgia because that's what the majority of my family was,
and that's how I got back to Georgia.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
You got back to Georgia, Yeah, where I met you here.
Now you're in Georgia, you're still in Georgia. Yes, okay, okay,
I didn't know you were so international. But you know,
being international and being exposed to international cultures broaden your thinking, yeah,
broadens your perspectives and is in its own way a

(02:52):
type of education.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
I think it it actually, you know, I laugh about
it today because I tell people that, like, sushi got
me back. That I was young, I had a best friend.
His name was Cole, and he was Japanese and black.
His mom was Japanese, his dad was black. His dad
was also in the service. When I stayed at the
house every weekend because he's like my best friend, Smam
made us make our own sushi. We eat chop six.

(03:15):
And I just loved their family experience because my family
didn't operate like that, right, and so they always ate together,
you know, told stories or whatever. So when I did
move back to the States and ended up in this
small trailer with my mother, this single wide trailer that
I paid thirty five hundred dollars for at the time,
and I remember when I started back going to school,

(03:37):
I was telling my friends that, like, you know, there's
beaches out there and people that don't look like us
and talk different languages because I had a chance to
see all that and nobody believed me. So as a
grown man right now to today, I took myself on
a sushi date at eight pm Wednesday night, sharp by myself,

(03:58):
really just to remind myself of it got me back,
because I wanted to get back to When I got
back to the States, it was like it was no
more sushi, it was no more beaches, it was no
more this life that I knew. And I'm like, if
I don't do something, I'm gonna be stuck here forever.
So my motivation was getting back to traveling, getting back
to being able to eat sushi or do these things

(04:19):
that I love to do that's no longer there. So,
you know, just to pay homage to myself, I just
go out every Wednesday night by myself, no matter what
city I'm in, and I sit there and I just
have sushi, and I just remind myself of, like, you know,
you had to work to get back here, so don't
forget that.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah so you brought sushi to the South. Yeah yeah, sure,
but it also fix your profile. You You really are
hard to define. You've done so many different things.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
A feel bit of a renaissance man. I mean, I
thought about it the other day. So the trailer that
I bought my mother was like on this back country,
but you know, she loved it, you know, because it
was nobody there. She was out there by herself until
she came into town. But what I noticed is I
loved it there too, And I didn't really understand why.

(05:13):
But I understand why now because I have places that
are you know, in rural areas that I just go
myself and I'll start to understand. It was like this
peace that I can't describe because you're you with nature,
but you're like at one with the universe. And you know,
because my mother passed during COVID, but when I'm there,

(05:36):
I get this sense of she's with me. But at
the same time, it's just like this is what peace
feels like. You don't need anyone else to or any
outside thing to help you gain peace. You just get
away to what you know and you get in your
space and you just be. And that's been like my
secret sauce.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
So, would you describe yourself as a bit of an introvert?

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Oh? No, totally invert? Yeah, why you do it? By
the way, it's just like, you know, I go out
and I entertain you know, you know, hundreds of thousands
of people, you know, throughout the weekend, and the minute
I get home, I just need to be by myself.
I just need to sit and I just need to

(06:19):
like process and go through my thoughts. And it's just
like even when I interact with people, like, you know,
I'm a pretty savvy businessman, but I can only do
so many calls today, you know what I'm saying, because
I'm depleted because everybody I talk to text a piece
of my energy. Yeah, I get it, but I know
people who are like around people all the time, and
I'm just like, how do you do that? And you know,

(06:42):
so once I realized I was an introvert and also
a life path seven. That's my life path number. Because
I always wonder why I like would like get subjects
and really dive into them, like I like, like, mental
health is something that I really, you know, became serious about,
but I like dive headfirst into it. And I was

(07:02):
doing all this research and I'm like, well, if you
can ask people, why are you doing the research. But
it was important for me to get the information myself
so that if I'm ever asked I can you know,
you know, answer it wholeheartedly and honestly. And what I
learned about it, like past seven, is they have to
do the research, they have to know the answers. They
don't take answers from anybody else, and that's what fulfills them.

(07:23):
So when I take these moments of solitude, I'm in
a book, I'm in a podcast. You know. Of course
on my Sundays I got bishop going in the morning
scrambling my eggs. But I had to lean into that
because that's what gave me. That's what gave me energy,
and that's what gave me fulfillment. Is that I can

(07:45):
do all these things for these people, but then I
also have enough sense to know I need to be
by myself so that I can recharge and replentish.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
I didn't always know that. I learned that we have
something in common and being bits of a polymath. Yeah,
people who have diverse interests and they've got their fingers
in a lot of paths all the time. Their poly
mass and the ability to juggle diverse things. Whereas people
tend to want to put you in a box and

(08:14):
become comfortable in one lane, you're not a person who
just sees things in a singular way. You see them
in multiplicity and diversity, and still can be yourself in
different settings, in different atmospheres. And I learned as I
got older to pull myself back a little bit and
recalibrate myself because I am involved in so many different things,

(08:37):
and so are you. Other thing we have in common,
your mother suffered from dementia. Yes, my mother died of Alzheimer's.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Ye, same thing.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
So I know what that's like, what that does to you,
and how much how much it takes out of you.
And it's harder in some ways. I think it's harder
on the family than it is person.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
You know, it's funny you say that, because me and
my mom had a really rough like relationship in the beginning.
Like she was very spicy, like she was just you know,
she was from the she was cut from a different cloth,
you know, and she just didn't play any games. Like
she was very vocal, straightforward. She didn't mind, you know,

(09:21):
snatching you up. But she loved me, but she just
didn't because she was raising me as a man. So
she taught me things that I guess she overcompensated for
her being a woman, and a lot of that built
up resentment over time because I felt like she cared
about my sister more and I'm out here trying to
figure it out. I'm a young kid, I'm fourteen years old,
hustling trying to take care of them. I don't really

(09:44):
know what I'm doing, but I'm just doing what I can.
And I wasn't really that good in school. My sister
was good, so I really leaned towards the streets and
that drove us father apart, and we just had this
rocky relationship. But when she became sick with dementia and
she was in these homes, in these places, I would
actually go, and you know, it was a lot of

(10:05):
resentment between both of us, and I would just actually
go sit with her, feed her, talk to her, listen
to music with her. Sometimes she would come in and
she would come out and she would say something to me,
and I might say, hey, you know, you know, I
forgive you for you know, just you know, the times
that we at. Sometimes she would act like she hear me.
My mom was smart, even with dementia, right right right,

(10:27):
you know, it wasn't something she wanted to hear. So
I look at it as it's two things. I said.
I always prepared because my mom was my heart, you
know what I'm saying. So I prepared myself that if
something happened to her the mentally, I was going to
have to deal with it because all the stuff that
happened to me in the past, because I've lost so

(10:48):
many people I can't even count. But at some point
I became numb and I was compartmentalizing that I understood
that this is what happens. This is the life I chose.
You lose people, you know, it just is what it is.
But it was like, I was like, when my mom leaves,
like what is that gonna put me at? Because she
was the foundation for what I knew, me and my sister.

(11:11):
And when she did pass, I really just had this
talk with God because I was just like, I'm just
glad you just didn't take her. Suddenly I got a
chance to talk to her, be with her, have those
quiet moments when other people wasn't around her in the room.
And you know, she loved to watch like mash and
stuff like that, and I would just sit there with

(11:31):
her and were just watching and she would laugh all
of a sudden and she's like, you see that. I
was like, yeah, we might talk a little bit, but
those those are the moments that I remember more than
the moments that she was hard on me. So that
kind of gave me this relief. And when she passed,
you know, of course I had to jump in to be,
you know, the man for the family, but also was

(11:53):
at a place of peace because I felt like she
wasn't you know, she wasn't suffering anymore, and that it
wasn't sudden, so I had time to prepare mentally, you know,
and I thank God for that, because I know people
have to leave this earth, but I don't know what
that's like suddenly with somebody that close.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, that close, I'm saying. You know, it's an interesting
subject because so many people, especially in this generation, have
combat of relationships with their parents and don't stick around
to work through that so that they can have grief
without guilt. You know, what would you say to the

(12:36):
person who's had a combative relationship with their parents, What
would you say to them that would help them should
their parents pass away, that they would have grief but
not guilt.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
I had a wise person tell me one day, and
me and my dad had the same thing, but me
and my dad is like my god now, So it's crazy.
I never thought it would be this close. Like he's
always been an amazing person. I just had this picture
in my head of he left us. But when I
found out what really happened, he did the right thing.
So he was so right about it that he never

(13:13):
told me what really happened until like almost thirty years later.
So this whole time that I was angry, I'm not
knowing that he's being a stand up guy, not saying
because he wants me to think the best about my mother.
You know what I'm saying, and what I would tell people.
A wise man told me this once. He said, he said,
what's your dad's name? And I said Jay, And he

(13:35):
looked at me. He said, well, he's just J. He
makes mistakes too, he's a man. I mean, he's a
kid being a man, like you have to give him.
He's just J. He's a dad. He's just J, just
like your mom is just sharing. They're going to have
their things. And when I started to get into the

(13:57):
mental health space myself and just start to understand traumas
and the things that I was going through, I had
to really sit back and look at their lives and go.
I knew my dad's dad. He was a tough guy, right.
He was a different type of character. My mom's mom
right now, she about ninety. She's still kicking right right,
you know what I'm saying. She might you know, I mean,

(14:17):
you know, we just you know, God bless her soul.
Like she she was pollomer Son until she was eighty five.
She would sit there right, you come in the house.
She got a whole paint right there. She would just
drink right. But she was healthy, she was all the things.
But she was spicy. So when I look at that,
and you know, I love my grandmother, I look at
it and I go, if my mom was dealing with

(14:39):
that at a young age, then she was the you
know she was. She was the offspring of someone who
who was what she became. So that's how she was raised,
and that's the trauma that she went through. So I
got to give her grace there. And when I look
at my father, he went through his thing, and I
got to give him grace because I would hope my

(15:01):
son would give me grace because I went through my things.
So that's why I would tell someone that they're just
who they are, and you shoe got to give them
grace because their parents. But even as a parent myself,
I don't do everything right. I cry, you know, I
have to apologize to my daughter all the time, like
you know, I'm sorry for even you know, saying that,
But I do want her to see that. You know,

(15:22):
you can't apologize and you can't try to you know,
right your wrongs or fix things. But we all gonna
make mistakes and nobody's perfect, So you can't look at that.
You can't do the work to work on yourself to
understand because if I too what happened to me in
my past and brought it into my household now with
my kids, I would be so far from right.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Chapter number two, Financial literacy. Let me ask you this,
how much do you think being raised with financial constraints
and limitations and struggling to make ends meet. How much
do you think that play role in the atmosphere between
your parents and your early upbringing.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
I think it played a lot, because you know, they
didn't have the resources of the finances too. And I
wouldn't say just live a great life, it's just like
to be that take the time to be great parents, right,
because when you're set up in things, if you ever
seen a unit a husband and the wife of partners
that together and they all got they both have this
common cause of just keeping the family comfortable and making

(16:26):
sure everybody's good, but also making sure that they're taking
the son the baseball practice, at the daughter's ballet, they're
at their recitals. There are certain things because they're building
a support system of that you know you're safe and
you're in the same space, and I think it takes,
you know, some type of financial planning to be in
the same space. And when you're not in the safe space,

(16:50):
people do dire things. That's why you know, you got
these men to go out here and hustle and end
up going to prison for twenty years. But then what
happens to you your baby boy that you was trying
to take care of. You know, you're gone for twenty years.
Now he's basically either being raised by his mother or
being raised by his uncle or the streets. And then
when you come home, you know, now you're dealing with

(17:11):
someone who had to live this life because you tried
to step in and do the right thing, but it
wasn't the total right thing, and now you got to
pray that this doesn't happened to his kids. So it's
like a cycle. So I think financial literacy has a
lot to do with it, because even now I'm grateful
that I could take care of my family, but I'm
also more grateful that I got time to, like really

(17:33):
work on myself so that I can become a better
leader and a better father and a better parent for
them because I am set up financially and I don't
have a lot of pressure to go out and do
things that I don't have to do, and that gives
me time to work on myself, whereas if I didn't
have it, I would constantly be having to, you know,
get out here and work.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
You know, when I looked at the research of your
childhood and all the trauma that you went through, the
things that you face, and the things that you you
faced as an adult looking back and becoming more open
with your life, I thought about a bow and arrow,
and an arrow only shoots as far forward as it

(18:18):
was pulled back. Okay, you you you were pulled back
in a lot of ways. Abused as a child, had
to confront that, grew up with broaches and poverty, and
things that you talked about and been open about and
all was roaching, so that stuff you're you're amos, okay,

(18:43):
so relaxed, relaxed. I understand the story. But almost everybody
I have sat down and talked to who became extremely successful,
especially in our community, has those kinds of traumas that
pull them way back. And I think sometimes it's not

(19:07):
what you're running too, but what you're running from that
gives you the tenacity to work. I think the commitment
to go further because you don't ever want to see
that again.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
You know. Do you feel that way too? Absolutely? Yeah.
And I feel that because there was a point in
my life where I was just like just depressed because
I just didn't understand what was going on. But the
minute I started to understand that life doesn't happen to you,
it happens for you, it's like he's not going to

(19:38):
push you through because you're saying you want this life,
you want all these things, but if you're not built
up for it, once you even get into this life,
you can't sustain it because it's tough, right right. You
can't you can't, you can't. Yeah, you can't be a
leader if you can't indo a Paine.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
See, people don't understand being successful is tough. You know.
It's advertised to people that are struggling as a utopia.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
But it is not.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
When you get into it, the bigger the levels, the
bigger the devils, and you have to deal with everything
and the haters and then self doubt and overcome your
feelings of inadequacy and those inner struggles that nobody knows
that you have that you go to bed with and
get up with in the morning and put a smile
on your face, paint it on your face and go

(20:29):
out there and do what you gotta do.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
It is. It is tough, and.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
I haven't I don't know whether you feel this way,
but I have never seen a tougher time than the
times we're in right now.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, but I feel that as a like growing up tough. Yeah,
but I think that prepared me for this. Yeah, because
now it's even like when my team come to meet
with stuff and I just laugh because they can be
like it's nine one one and I'm just like, yeah, right,

(21:00):
like this is what we're gonna do. You know what
I'm saying? Right, all the stuff I don'et been through
that I had to think on my feet. It kept
me alive, you know what I'm saying, and out of
prison sentences there was thirty to forty to fifty years,
you know what I'm saying, because I was smart on
my feet, and then at the same time, I endured
the pain because I made a lot of unpopular decisions

(21:21):
that don't seem like the thing to do at the time,
you know what I'm saying. But as you go on
to life, you start to see that it works out.
But I got this tolerance for things that I don't
think most people can tolerate because I put everybody before me,
So I'm more harder on myself to make sure like
things get done even when somebody might drop the ball

(21:43):
here and there because I'm looking at it like that
wasn't intentional. But let me be a good leader and
have their back even though I'm tired, even though I'm
stressed out, you know what I'm saying. I just got
to go here and make sure this is right for them.
And I think that, you know you that's because for me,
when I'm look at it, I look at it like this,
I'm smart, but I ain't that smart, So I know

(22:04):
that there's a greater power moving me in these directions
and put me in these places where it can be
like your whole world is about the crash. And I
just went through some things recently that I was just like,
as a grown man, I'm like, this is crazy. But
when I came in back into my light, I was like, oh,
he was preparing me for this, you know what I'm saying,

(22:26):
because I needed to take all these restraints off and
get all this stuff by my way and clear this clutter.
So I could see this path that he wanted me
to stay on for my people and the coach and
what I do. And when I realized it, I was
walking in my light brighter than before. But I was
just in the darkest light I ever been in. So
now when I come back up for air and I

(22:47):
see what's going on in the world, I'm just like, Okay,
let me do my part to help my people. And
that's being poised and being calm in this difficult time.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
And being philanthropic rather than selfish. So my mother used
to say, school is a university. A life is a university,
and everybody in it is a teacher. When you wake
up in the morning, be sure, you go to school,
that's right. What did hard times, prison, everything that you
went through teach you to turn you into a business

(23:19):
man and a mogul.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Well, I'm gonna tell you what this wise man told
me one day on the road. I asked him to say, well, Bishop,
how did you get through this? Philactrop somebody, this is
an entrepreneur stuff. He said. Listen, I was an entrepreneur
before everything else, right, right, right, right? So for me,
my passion, my talent was music. I couldn't deny that,
but my passion was business because I wanted to be

(23:45):
a businessman because that's what I associated with being able
to get into these rooms and to build this wealth
that I can go back and help my people. And
you know, we all see the billionaire where it sounds good,
but it's not for me. I can only spend so much,
My family underne so much. But when you have the status,
you able to go and talk to these bigger brands
and say, hey, look, I'm doing this and I need

(24:05):
you guys support because they're looking at the success you
had and they want to put it with what you
got so that you so that we can, you know,
do something for the people So to answer your question
for me, I just feel like, you know, everything I
went through. Everything that I learned in the streets set
me up for real life. So if I take a loss,

(24:26):
I don't look at it how somebody would look at
it if they only knew business. I knew. I came
from the school of hard knocks. And just like your
mother said, education costs. Yes, yes, you know what I'm saying.
So if you were a bad deal and it cost
me a few million dollars, I just paid for that,
I better not do that again, right right, what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
But it told me it's rare, though, to find a
creative who is also entrepreneurial and business minded. Most people
who are creatives hire somebody to take care of the
business because they're so into what they're producing creatively that
they don't take care of the business. And I personally
believe if you get the business right first, then you

(25:18):
do the creatives. I found out too many times I
made a movie, it didn't have a deal.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
I made it.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
I wrote a book and didn't have a publisher. You know,
let's get the business straight. Now that I got a
publishing deal, now let's write the book. You know, getting
things in sequence in a way where they flow better
and where they operate better is very important. But we
don't have many people. We have many people that do it,
but we don't have many people that teach it.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Yeah, because you know, the thing is I think is
one of those things I personally think as a leader.
As leaders, you learn about trialing to it. So by
the time you bump your heads enough times you're right,
then you kind of got the formula. Nobody can like
teach you that formula. You can't sit down with a
business manager team and they set it up. It's based

(26:07):
off of how you think, how you feel, how you move,
and what kind of culture you're trying to build in
your business. And it's like i'n't been through a few
situations where I had learned the hard way because I
had lawyers that I thought negotiated great deals. But once
and I tell my team all the time, like, let
me get all the data, right, don't try to spare

(26:28):
me with this. I don't want to tell you everything
because right over, give me everything and let me let
me make the right decision based off of what I
know this is coming. Because I am a visionary and
I'm already ten years down the road in my head.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
So when you talk about your team, what do you
look for and the people that you surround yourself with.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
That's great. I mean I look for people that their
goals aligned with my vision. So they're they're into this,
and they have qualities of themselves. They either aid great
at managing people, great at detail, or they understand they
can see around the corner as well. Because if you're

(27:10):
dealing with people, because we're creative, so it's not like
you just got this product and you're just saying we're
gonna sell this and everybody's focused like we're doing you know,
ten fifteen different things and pretty much people who know
how to flow and are not like because you know,
and being a creative and being horrific, were you able

(27:33):
to like see things. Everybody's not gonna always agree, but
you have to have people who don't who understand pivoting
is a part of how this works. So if we
got to change our mind, it's fine, It's okay. We
have a plan. As long as we got a plan,
we can change as long as we got a plan.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
I like living in the tension. I like living in detention.
I don't want everybody to be yes man, and we'll
say agree about everything. There's something passionate and something powerful
that comes out of the tension. And I like to
see I see you. I like to see you be passionate.
I might not do what you said, but I want to.
I want you to be passionate about it. I want

(28:10):
to hear what you've got to say. And I, for one,
have always tried to hire my weakness is not my strengths.
I'll get that because if you hire your strengths, you've
got competition. When you hire your weaknesses, you have collaboration.
You feel that way too.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
H Yeah, because you got to have somebody to watch
it back. Yeah, because I can go. Yeah, I'm saying
I call in the morning like, oh my god, I
got it. I got thirty ideas like always low down, Yeah,
like which one we want to focus on, but also
also proud myself and not being the smartest person at
the table too. You know what I'm saying. It's like
I I over the years, I've learned the skill set

(28:50):
of like aligning myself with people who who who I
admire the way they think right, and it's like just
processing things with them gives me more of a thirty thousand,
you know, feet in the air view of what I'm
doing rather than just on surface level. Because we're having
this conversation and they're smart too, so they can see

(29:13):
and they go, okay, well what if we put these
two things together? How they feel about that? I was like, yeah, actually,
I love that, but let's do this too, right, and
now you're onto something and it's just like and if
it doesn't work, we learned and then we keep moving.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Okay, so you've made some financial good decisions, you made
some financial bad decisions. At one point, had three Laborghinis
and had insurance on them, but didn't have insurance on you,
which kind of goes along with what we were talking
about a minute ago. Value in yourself. What have you

(29:50):
learned about handling money that you didn't know?

Speaker 1 (29:53):
Then? Well? Then, you know, I think if I could
have got the Lamborghinis off the lot without insurance, I
wouldn't have insurance on them either. Why, because you know,
you was living for the moment, you know what I'm saying, Like,
I didn't you know, you just wanted these things because
you wanted them at the time, but then we started

(30:13):
thinking about like insurre. I know just what I'm saying
back then, but it's back then. Yeah, yeah, So back
then it was almost like I didn't know nobody in
my family had life insurance or medical insurance like that,
Like we just wasn't brought up like that. My dad
had it because he was in the service, but once
we went back to the hood, it was kind of

(30:34):
like he was kind of like on your own. So
that wasn't the thing coming into it. But as I
got older and I started to realize that health is real,
because it is real. I just did a thing the
other day for some more insurance and they was asking
me all these questions and I'm like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,
and she was just like, you's so healthy, and they

(30:54):
just hit me. I'm like, wow, I'm healthy. That's crazy.
Like I'm taking care of myself, you know, for a change.
But to answer your question, like what I learned on
the financial level is you definitely like you're gonna need
money into you forever and your kids are gonna need
it and things like this, I stop looking for validation

(31:17):
out for outside things, like I don't buy things because
I want to impress other people. I'm more of an
experienced person. Like if I want to go on a
trip or do something and take my family somewhere because
I want them to experience this, and I know what
this is gonna do for them when they're you know,
twenty five thirty years old, they've been to France and
they've been to these places and that place. Because that's
what the experience I got from my father, then I'll

(31:39):
do that. And I'm also a minimalist, like I would
think so too, Like I just I have things that
I'm into, like art, you know, wine, watches and stuff
like that, and cigars. But I'm not like gonna go
out here and buy thirty sports cars to prove a point,
you know what I'm saying. I'm not gonna go buy
you know, a bunch of stuff that I don't need.
And as far as like money and managing money, it's

(32:00):
just like I, you know, strive for financial freedom and
to being a place where, like I don't really have
to do anything. If I don't ever want to do anything,
and I'm set, you know, and I could just live
my life and go live where I want to live,
whether that's abroad or that's here, that's there. And I
think to get to that is you got to make
sacrifices now so for later on in life you don't

(32:22):
have to work as hard and do as much because
you're already set up for that. And that takes like
understanding like how money works and the type of people
you got to bring around and aint. What you make
is what you save. And it's like you got to
figure out how to you know, get your your tax breaks.
And because as you as you're scaling, it's so like
the laws change so much. So the best thing you

(32:44):
do is have great financial people on your team so
they can help you navigate through. That's for us, yes, yes, yes, yeah,
I have trust. Yeah. And it's like as you're navigating
these things, you know, things come up where you know
you might not understand something, but instant gratification is what

(33:08):
what gets you. Because you want to spend money right
now to look a certain way right now, and I
don't want to you know how I tell people, It's
like they call it shopping therapy. You know what I'm saying.
I'd rather go for a walk. I have my money
when I can do, But I tell people that you know.

(33:30):
It starts with you though, like because once you once
you trusting yourself, once you know who you are as
an individual, and what Because there's difference between wants and needs,
you know what I'm saying, Like you may want something,
but you may not need it, you know what I'm saying.
Or you may want a bigger house, but like just

(33:51):
really think about it. You know, you're only in two rooms,
you know what I'm saying. You may you know, there's
a time I went to my garage and it was
like so many cars I have charge the battery on
this one. Like I don't want to deal with all that,
you know what I'm saying, Like, I just want to
live a life to where And it's crazy because I
sold all the cars, bought the lot next door, you
know what I'm saying. I just like, if they sitting here,

(34:13):
we might as well just get that. But it's just
like making those type of decisions because again, you know,
not pulling the arrowback. I've been in poverty and you
can't help nobody when you're doing bad as well, right,
and then I've been in a state of abundance, but
abundance only lasts so long. When you're being irresponsible with

(34:36):
things right, and then it's just like I want to
be creative and I want to try things. In order
to take these risks. I need cushion, you know what
I'm saying. I need to know that if I go
out here and just get caught up in this passion
project that I want to do that could change the
world or not that I'm not going to break the bank,
you know, just going after something that my spirit is
telling me I'm going after. And then the last thing

(34:58):
I would say is like really taking the time to
read like a lot of like you know, just entrepreneur
books and financial books. It really helps because you're not
gonna get everything you need out of it, but you
become rehearse with the with the phrases and how things
are said and what things are So when your accountants

(35:21):
and these money people are running this stuff by you,
they're not just throwing this stuff over your head because
you know they'll get you too, you know what I'm saying.
So at least you got an understanding of it. And
then having other brothers that you can actually sit down
and talk to them, go, hey, look I had a
conversation about this. What do you think about that? And
they might say you, oh no, that's that's that's that's

(35:41):
that's that's legitimate. But look, whyon't you talk to this
person so they can give you a better insight. And
I would think the best lesson I can say is
stay curious, right, stay curious, right, ask those questions.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
That's a good advice. That's a good advice on a
whole lot of time. The Lamborghini, the appreciating the real
estate is an appreciating asset. You're not really wealthy until
your money's making money money for you. Not when you're
making money, but when your money is making money, and
so that makes it that drives us toward appreciating assets.

(36:15):
But you're very, very important. And the reason it's important
that we share what we know with each other, it's
because we can never reproduce another generation of successful people
if we don't talk to each other. That so that
cross polonization is really good. I'm glad you're coming into
your own and you're no longer having approved to anybody

(36:35):
what is already obvious to you. And that's that's coming
closer to loving you. Yeah, and that's that's where real
The Bible said love your neighbors, you love yourself, but
if you don't love you, you can't love everybody else.
So you got to learn how to love you. That
goes relationships. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we can shout off
of that chapter number three diction.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
You know you were talking earlier about your mother and
the hardships that you had and how your relationship developed
over time. And I applogged the fact that you stuck
to it till you worked it out, because most people
when they run into a hardship, they throw you away,
they just walk away. But you hung in there and
worked it out. I understand that she had some kind

(37:21):
of a drug addiction problem that you had to work through.
How much of the fight was a result of her
not being herself and dealing with drugs?

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Well, I think what she was on drugs when I
was a lot younger, and which means we cross paths
like in the streets sometimes. But you were still my mother,
so I have respect for But this is the thing,
like when you say drugs, you know, in the era
I came up in, you know, the drugs that people
were doing would be like cannabis today, right, because it

(37:54):
was a regular day, Okay, like everybody pretty much was
you know, out here doing you know, crack and this
and that the third. But I was also in the trade.
So for me, my coming up in my family, this
was a normal thing, you know, hustled with my aunties,
you know what I'm saying, like this, with my uncles
and my cousins. So it was like to me, it

(38:17):
was regular, you know what I'm saying. I didn't really
understand the concept of it until people I started to
you know, you know know started to go to prison
or you know, become you know, get underlive, and I'm
just like, okay, let me understand this. If I stay
in this, this is what happens. And my mom was
getting in her space where she was getting in the

(38:37):
better space. And when we moved there in the country,
she kind of sobered up. She started you know, living
her life. She wanted to travel, and I just sent
her to Vegas, the Bahamas and all this stuff, and
she just one day she just became you know, sober
and she was my mom again. But then she got
sick right after that, and so we was working on
our relationship and then she got sick. But I was

(39:00):
happening and on the road and stuff, and I never forget.
I was in Europe and I was doing this uh
this this European tour. And she called me. She's like,
hey baby, And this is around the time she was sick,
you know. He said, hey baby, what are you doing.
I said, I'm getting on my bus. So I'm about
to drive to Sweden. And she goes, yeah, the President

(39:20):
just shouted you out. And you know, I'm thinking she's
still I'm like, I'm like, yeah, a height, Mama, I'll
call you back. And she said, no, I'm gonna get
your sister to city to you. She got off the phone.
I ain't saying that. I get on the bus, you know,
relax for a little bit. Later, I get up and
look at my phone showing up my sister send me
a video and it was Obama shouting me out at

(39:42):
the Correspondence dinner. Now mind you, I'm thinking she's sick,
you know what I'm saying. But she would come in
and out like that, and that was kind of like
she was well enough to yeah. And so when I
would go sit with her, it was I'm gonna be honest,
like it was. My mom was so like powerful, like

(40:04):
she can move room. She was just she just had
that it. But when it went from that to me
pushing her around in a wheelchair and her holding a
baby doll. You know what I'm saying, it just did
something to me. It just it just yeah, it just
it brought me to a place where I'm like, wow,
I went through it, I know.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
And it was just like you know, she would It's
just certain things that she would do. And it was
just like even when I would go to the center
to feed her. You know, I'm coming off the road.
I'm touring twenty thirty forty thousand people a night, but
then I'm coming home and I'm sitting in this cafeteria
with my mom and it's like people in there there
sicker than she is, and I'm like, well, she shouldn't

(40:44):
even be here. And I'm feeding her and talking to her.
And I did that too, yeah you know what I'm saying.
So it was just like this thing, but it was
just like, Okay, how long is she gonna be able
to sustain this? And you know, again, like I say,
like the time I got to spend with her doing
this thing, I think was God's gift because I had

(41:06):
time to like really talk to her, and I know
she was listening at some point. Do you miss her?
Of course, of course, Like you know, it's crazy. I
got this picture of her in my house when I
walk through, and I just always laugh because I know
she's looking at me. But in one of my properties
in the mountains, when I go out there, I got
this chair by the stream, one of my properties.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Well, anytime you got to deferciate which property than you're
talking about other way, you have probably a long way.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
You saw where you came from.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
But the reason I harp on that is it's like
coming in on the end of the movie. Sometimes people
catch you on the up part of your life and
they don't recognize all the stuff you had to climb
out of to get to where you are. And part
of the beauty of accomplishing what you've accomplished, even with

(41:56):
all the setbacks, even with all the mistakes, is it's
how hard it was for you to climb out of
something that most people died in.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
Well, that's what I'm finishing. So what I was saying
at the stream is there's a chair, and I was
sitting in the chair, and it's just one yellow butterfly
that comes every time I sit in that chair, I
swear to you, was her, Wow, it'll come. It'll it's
every spring summer, it does it. So that's how I
know we're connected. But to answer your question about that's

(42:29):
my superpower being in these holes and being able to
climb out. That's why I laugh when you know my
staffs bring me stuff because I'm just like, oh, y'all
have no idea like this is this is cake and
ice cream, But it's just like that's my I never
and that's how I know it's not me. I've never
been in anything that I haven't been able to get
out of. Like I've never been in a situation when

(42:52):
I was I going through it with out stress. Was
I worry? Absolutely? But it always works yourself out. And
it's like I could be sitting there and something will
come over me and he go call such and such
and I'll call this person. I said, Hey, how you doing?
You got a minute? Can I can we do lunch?
Can we talk? And I'll go talk to this person
and have been through something similar and we'll just have

(43:13):
this conversation and I'll just get this data and then
I'll go processing and I'll come up with my plan.
I go, Okay, this is what I'm gonna do. Tell
me about the shooting you witness at your friend's house,
which oh in the book. So going back to what
I said about not knowing what the streets was because

(43:36):
I was so green coming from abroad, coming from Hawaiian Japan.
When I got back, there was a family friend. His
name was Marcus Clemens. He was a little bit older
than me at the time. He's probably a teenager then hustler,
you know, I was hustling on the street corner with him.
Very charismatic guy, probably about six four or six', three you,

(43:59):
know curly. Hair all the girls like, him SO i
used to like hang around. HIM i was like his little.
Brother AND i left him one, night maybe around eleven
thirty to go. Home and the crazy thing is my
grandmother never be CAUSE i was living with my grandmother
at the, Time like she never cared WHEN i came
in the, house like it wasn't no big. Deal SO
i left about eleven thirty CAUSE i had to go to,
school and My auntie came to peep me up for

(44:20):
school that morning around like seven, o'clock and we was
driving in the town that my grandmother lived. In it's
not a big, town so he could pretty much see
everything that's going. On it was riding by the street
where we hang out at it AND i saw the
ambulance and the police up, there and my auntie, said,
yeah you, know they they Shot marcus last night and

(44:40):
he was actually hustling and he was trying TO i
guess he was selling somebody something and they didn't have
all the money and they still wanted it and he
didn't want to give it to him because they didn't
have all the, money which he told me all the.
Time your price don't. Change whatever it. Is that's what you.
Get if it's not, that you don't do. It and
it killed. Him but they actually they shot and killed.

(45:02):
Him this is the. Thing so my auntie says to, me,
Yeah marcus got. SHOT i, said, okay, COOL i see
him WHEN i get out of. School i'll go see.
Him you, Know i'm, thinking you, know at the. Hospital,
Yeah i'm not even thinking that. Far i'm just, like you,
know maybe got into alter. CASE i don't. KNOW i
never heard shot, Before it's What i'm. Saying and she, said, no,

(45:25):
baby he's, Gone AND i said. Gone, Well she's like
he's gone, forever and like ed WHEN i SAY i
couldn't process, that you know What i'm saying THAT i
had no idea that you can leave this, earth you,
know and that that put me in this place WHERE

(45:47):
i was. ANGRY i was, devastated BUT i also wanted
to make him proud because he had taught me so
many gifts of the, gap AND i immediately WHEN i
came home from, SCHOOL i went into this laser focused
hustling mode AND i was just, Like i'm about to
do WHAT i gotta. Do AND i just really started

(46:09):
hustling on my own and just really being. Smart and
the thing THAT i prided myself home WAS i felt
like it was a mistake or how he was handling his,
business AND i just like prided myself on getting close
enough to people to learn from their mistakes and not
make the same. Mistakes BECAUSE i only had two rules
to myself WHEN i was in the, streets that just

(46:31):
don't go to prison and don't get. Killed anything ELSE
i can, handle AND i felt LIKE i did, that
but that was like my. Motivation no matter what, happens
you just don't go to prison and you don't get.
Killed and if you could do, that you're gonna be all.
Right and THAT'S i went from. There and it's just
like it also made my hard, cold If i'm, honest

(46:54):
because from that moment, ON i didn't really care about nothing,
else include, myself you know What i'm. Saying so it's
just LIKE i was just so laser focus on just
surviving that by the time you, know you're talking years,
later when you're starting to hear these, things it didn't
even affect. ME i can literally be sitting down dinner
they'd be, like you, know such and such just got.
Killed i'll be, like, damn that's, crazy, alright, cool keep

(47:17):
all my life BECAUSE i learned to. Compartmentalize so going
back to up until my mother, past you know What i'm,
SAYING i had learned to compartmentalize that as. Well but
WHEN i start working on my healing, journey, yes you,
know and that oh my, God, yeah that's. Painful oh my,

(47:37):
god it was like all that it was like EVERYBODY
i lost it hit me at one. Time. YEAH i bit,
LIKE i can't tell you how that hurt. Was and
it happened to me In. Vietnam. WOW i went to
this retreat AND i was In, vietnam and they had
this mountain where The king Of vietnam climbed the mountain

(47:58):
just like two thousand feet above sea level and that's
where he would have meditated for you, know his people.
Whatever and it's on this in dissiness, land beautiful. Place
AND i climbed the, MOUNTAIN i did the, meditating AND
i came back and did the meditation session at. Night
and WHEN i laid in the, bed it felt like
my heart was falling from beneath the. BED I i

(48:23):
THOUGHT i was GONNA i literally THOUGHT i was gonna,
die you know What i'm. Saying and it's just LIKE
i opened my mouth in like this like screen like
it was LIKE i never felt like that. Before AND
i laid there AND i JUST i just laid there
AND i hurt for you, know just the whole. Night

(48:43):
and WHEN i woke up the next, MORNING i just
laid there AND i just you, KNOW i prayed and
it was almost LIKE i got my feelings, back because
before THAT i didn't feel.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
Anything you didn't feel, anything couldn't afford to let yourself feel. That, Yeah,
yeah it's. Avoidant chefted number four bell, sposely but at
the point that you climbed to sixty And i'm a
little less than that, now by the grace Of, god

(49:19):
who were you trying to eat your pain? Away?

Speaker 1 (49:25):
YEAH i was so. Well the first thing that happened
around this time IS i taught my vocal cords BECAUSE
i have, polyps SO i taught my vocal cords. Performing
SO i really couldn't speak for almost a. Year. Wow
SO i had to get surgery AND i didn't Have
and this is like at the height of my, career
like the album was about to get ready to come,

(49:47):
out and you, KNOW i DIDN'T i didn't have insurance
at the, time SO i had to pay for it
with a brown paper, bag you, know with the money and.
Whatever and we was all concerned THAT i would NEVER
i wouldn't sound the. Same it actually cleaned my voice
up a, little because my voice was very raspy, before
but it cleaned it up a little. Bit and right
after that, happened you, know of COURSE i had things

(50:10):
going on in the street that was, happening BUT i
WAS i was going through this phase WHERE i was
depressed because everybody around me was getting snatched up and
going to prison or either getting, killed AND i didn't
know IF i was gonna make. It and around this
time WHEN i tore my vocal, cords the album finally came.

(50:30):
Out somebody before it came. Out four weeks before it came,
out somebody bootlegged and gave it away to the, streets
and all the bootleggers had. It so on my, Mind
i'm three million dollars in BECAUSE i paid for it,
myself And i'm, like my album's. OUT i don't even
know if the label was gonna even support it at this.
Point So i'm already thinking that WHAT i got to
do to get back to the, streets because now that's

(50:52):
the Position i'm. In so when it comes, out it
does about one eight nine the first. Week next week
it does about another one eighty, nine and it just
keeps going and things are starting to look on the bright.
Side THEN i got hit With bell's palsy AND i
was doing. SOMETHING i went in the marry. One, DAMN
i just my whole face was like, crooked and my arm,

(51:13):
was you, know a little bit. OFF i couldn't really
move it like it wasn't mobile it should. Be and you,
know my first mind is, like oh, WOW i THOUGHT
i had a, stroke you know What i'm. SAYING i
was just, Like, okay this is gonna be what my
life is. Like and so HOW i got up to two.
SIXTIES i was, hiding okay BECAUSE i couldn't, talk and

(51:34):
THEN i Had bell's, palsy so it's almost LIKE i
didn't want people to see me BECAUSE i didn't know
what was going. On AND i was one of those
kind of old school guys where it's just like you
think you're gonna put some vicked vapor rub on. Everything
you know What i'm, Saying you still wait long, enough
you'll be all. Right grandma my, head and you, know

(51:58):
my mom was just, like you gotta go the docta,
baby and you, KNOW i went to the doctor and
of course to come to Mad bell's. Party SO i
worked through. That But i'm gonna be, honest, like that's
probably one of the scariest moments of my life BECAUSE
i was, There like the records were, SELLING i had
shows booked up THAT i couldn't even perform at BECAUSE
i ain't have a. Voice BUT i was finally, there

(52:19):
and the only THING i kept thinking about was like,
karma Because i'm, like what DID i do to get
this close for it to get taken. Away and again
that's that bow and, arrow BECAUSE i felt like he
brought me back to humble me and, said all, right
And i'm giving You i'm letting you borrow this. Gift
i'm letting you borrow this. Gift, now how you go
forward is doing depending on how long you keep. It

(52:40):
AND i knew then it was a position in leadership
because WHEN i came out of the rut AND i
started to come back, around this is. Around it took
me about almost three albums to get back to, myself
and that third album Was The, Recession and to, me
that's one of my best holts BECAUSE i, actually like you,
know studied And Washington, news AND i knew so much

(53:03):
about the. World that's WHEN i was Writing My President's
Black and this is WHEN i went on my health.
JOURNEY i started that dropped almost like seventy, pounds AND
i started doing these shows for The recession tour AND
i would literally be on stage and they would be
throwing stuff AND i thought it was like trash or,
something and then my security, said, no, sir those are,

(53:23):
brawls AND i was, like, oh, wow this is. It
i'm never going, back you know What i'm, Saying and you,
KNOW i just became this like this this you, know this,
culture you, know Sex. Sybold i'm just, like, wow this is.
Amazing and just three years before, THAT i was in
the most depressing time of my. Life and you, know

(53:45):
so IF i say anything about The Bells, palsies just
like you got to take care of yourself out. Here
AND i learned that BECAUSE i was like one of
those people, like you, KNOW i don't got drink, WATER
i ain't got to eat. Clean you, KNOW i just
was living on the, edge you, know BECAUSE i didn't
really and If i'm, honest it's LIKE i didn't like
my first. ALBUM i wasn't even playing In. Christmas you

(54:07):
know What i'm. Saying around that, time LIKE i didn't
plan BECAUSE i didn't, Know LIKE i didn't want to
have any, expectations you know What i'm, Saying because it's
just like things were happening so fast you didn't. Know
and around The recession is WHEN i The recession album
is WHEN i started coming to my. Space The bells
posy was, gone my voice was, BAD i was talking,
GREAT i was looking, GREAT i was feeling. Good and
that's WHEN i really started to taking. Life that's when

(54:28):
my healing journey. STARTED i started to take life, seriously
like eating, right make SURE i got, rest you, know
just doing the things THAT i knew how to do
BEFORE i started expanding it BECAUSE i felt good AND
i felt in a great. Place but THEN i also
felt healthy BECAUSE i was working a. Lot LIKE i
was on like tours back to, back AND i wasn't
like on tours with like you, know like you, know

(54:50):
up and. COMING i was like jay Z, rihanna you,
Know Kanye like it was LIKE i was out there
with people who do this for a, living, right and
HERE i am the street guy trying to figure it
out AS i. Go but you, know being healthy was
one of the things that got me through. It and
then also like connecting with my fans When i'm even

(55:12):
call them, fans but my, supporters because you, know they
saw me get in a better place, too and it,
just you, know kind of brought my spirits up because,
now you, know like people were actually seeing me do,
better you know What i'm, saying rather than what they,
knew BECAUSE i was just like this hood guy over.
Polarizing you, Know i'm drinking all Day i'm hanging, Out i'm,

(55:35):
everywhere and it's just LIKE i really didn't have a
sense of WHAT i was doing or WHERE i was,
going and it was just LIKE i WAS i was
just a wreck waiting to, happen you, Know AND i
came out of. That So i'll tell, anybody take care
you start playing chapter number five. Theater. Yeah do you

(55:56):
think that has something to do with your? Music your?

Speaker 2 (55:59):
Lyrics how you did that in some way vent your
soul as you as she wrote your?

Speaker 1 (56:09):
Songs and WHAT i? Think two. THINGS i think the
first thing is again WHEN i Was, hawaii at this
girl in my homeroom class like the first, class you're
going to beautiful, girl AND i try to talk To
i'm the country kid coming from The, south you, know
talk real geechee or, whatever and she didn't like. Me

(56:31):
AND i never understood, that And i'm, like you, Know
i'm used to getting WHAT i. Want SO i just
LIKE i contemplated on this plan to start writing the,
poems and every Day i'll be sitting at the table
AFTER i do my. Homework my dad like what you.
Doing i'm like writing this girl poem AND i would
leave a poem on her desk every, morning and the
more POEMS i left, her the more she comes. In she's, like, Hey,
jay how you doing? Today and she ended up being my. Girlfriend.

(56:54):
Right SO i saw what words did BECAUSE i realized
THAT i was a great writer BECAUSE i could express
myself WHEN i, write AND i was putting things together
THAT i normally couldn't put, together BUT i wanted something
out of. It AND i think the second part for
me was WHEN i got introduced To tupac she called
like something with him resonated with me BECAUSE i had

(57:17):
never seen someone that was a revolutionary that stood for.
Something like my, uncles they didn't really stand for. Nothing
they kind of was just like trying to make their
way in the. System but they wasn't like. Rebels they
never told, me hey, man you know you got to
stand up for what you believe. In so WHEN i
kind of started to understand What tupac was, doing it

(57:39):
just resonated with me so much that it made me
want to go be a rebel in a. Sense and
WHEN i got back to The states and you, know
living my life or, whatever all the things THAT i went,
THROUGH i was, Like, yo these are, stories AND i
kind of saw what he did because he was very,
poetic AND i was, like, man you know WHEN i

(57:59):
started to try to do, music at FIRST i was
being A ceo that didn't. Work and then one of
my friends is, like, man you should write because it's your,
life it's what you're. Living AND i just started. Writing
AND i went back to WHAT i knew back then
of saying the words THAT i was. Saying but this
time it wasn't poetry to get a. Woman this time

(58:21):
it was poetry to connect with my. People you know
What i'm, saying BECAUSE i knew what to say in
this language of the streets that most people can't talk
because they don't know the. LINGO i understood the lingo
because it was LIKE i just spent you, know ten
fifteen years of my life avoiding the law enforcement by
being able to talk and lingo on the. Phone you

(58:43):
know What i'm, saying because if you say one, thing
you out of, here one wrong. THING i got so
great at it that when it was time to write the,
music it was LIKE i was. Over because at FIRST
i had an imposter syndron BECAUSE i would be in
the studio with like the greats Jay z's and T
i s and all these, people but they were great
artists because they had been. Rapping since they've been, RAPPING

(59:07):
i hadn't been doing that that. Long but WHAT i
knew IS i had this superpower of this lingo and
this understanding of what street culture was that they, didn't
AND i didn't have to talk to the. MASSES i
can go over the masses and talk to the people
because they can't do, that you know What i'm, Saying
because they. Wasn't they was more so trying to serve the.

(59:29):
WORLD i just KNEW i wanted to talk to those
people over. There was.

Speaker 2 (59:31):
THERE i asked you this Because i've had this feeling
when you first started doing, it and maybe even now
it's kind of like showing your baby to the. World,
yeah is there a certain amount of? Trepidation in trepidation
that you feel as you put it out? There will

(59:52):
they like? It will they get? It do they understand?
That do you go through all those kinds of.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
CHANGES i used. To of, Course i'm still like reluctant of,
like you, know certain THINGS i think, Out but When
i'm in my When i'm in my, energy like my
it's LIKE i know What i'm supposed to be. Doing
you know What i'm, saying it's just, like you gotta do,
this like this is this is a non. Negotiable but

(01:00:18):
When i'm being creative in a space Where i'm trying
to do new things and maybe they're like, this maybe they,
won't that's WHEN i get a Little but when it's
LIKE i wake up and my spirit is telling, me
this is WHAT i gotta. DO i gotta go do
that so win losers, DRAW i gotta go do, that
AND i can't even think about it because it's calling

(01:00:39):
me to do. This but when you're being creative and
you're trying to like make like, music, okay and this
is What i'm gonna say When i'm doing. It WHEN
i was making music AND i got in a space
WHERE i became so successful that the labels and everybody
was telling, me you got to make these type of.
Songs you're gonna sell these type of. Records WHEN i
went for, that, yes that's WHEN i was nervous because

(01:01:01):
that wasn't. Me you know What i'm, saying, Saying i've
been sold this dream OF i can become so wealthy
and so. Great and then WHEN i bump my, HEAD
i started to realize, it like you, know and not
pointing them things anybody else CAN i take full. ACCOUNTABILITY
i start to realize that you can't let people manipulate

(01:01:21):
you into doing what they want you to do with
what you have built and this trust you have with your.
People if you do what's true in your, heart then
if it doesn't, work it still doesn't matter because it's
going to lead you to the next, thing and that's gonna.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Work see what a lot of PEOPLE i think don't
understand about labels or sometimes. Publishers IF i want IF
i went to a label and it SAID i wanted
to do a song about stabbing cats and skinning them,
alive terrible by the, Way yeah, yeah, yeah there would
be no, question absolutely. Not but IF i SAY i

(01:01:58):
want to do a song about shoot people in the,
street shooting other brothers in the, street that's, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Right AND.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
I think in some ways they want to shape how
the world sees us by only showing one dimension of
the black. Experience and it is a legitimate, experience but
it's not the only.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
Experience well it's the only experience that it's going to bring. You,
see this is the. Thing AND i told somebody this
Other i've never heard a country singer talk about going
and hunt and kill another country, singer. Right that ain't
with their, selling, Right but it's our, Trauma Like Sa, fancis,
like the more trauma you, have the better of a

(01:02:45):
story that you're going to. Tell and while you're telling that,
story and you're incorporating what's going on the tension bills
because you're talking about real people and real. Things so
these people are doing things behind the scenes that we
all know culture lead that are happening from people getting
killed and all these things going on that bill for

(01:03:06):
great story, overall because you get to see it in real,
time and those great stories come with a lot of,
money you know What i'm. Saying so they're giving these
kids with all this, trauma you, know these tens and
twenties of millions of dollars for these, stories knowing that
at some point all this stuff is gonna catch up
with them and they're gonna be. Killed but that doesn't
matter because IF i own your masters and your, publishing

(01:03:28):
then that MEANS i get this money For it's like
getting somebody's real estate portfolio for. Free you're gonna get paid.
Forever and they understand, that because that's the. Business and
they'll set you up in the sense of that is
because long as you tell me all the, Times i'm
gonna get a rose. Rus he's, like, well if you
don't get your mind, right you're gonna just be a
person in the Rose ruce with with you, know a

(01:03:51):
crazy person in Rose russ because you still have to
work on. You and my thing is with this, culture
WHAT i don't like about it, is you, know there's
so many other things that we can talk about instead
of hunting each other. Down and the way they're teaching
these this younger generation to be significant is IF i

(01:04:12):
can take your, life BECAUSE i already go out in my,
MIND i can't go be successful and nothing. Else but
this is going to give me instant gratification and power
Because i'm significant BECAUSE i can do something to hurt.
You and you know it's true because look at. It
look at how it Is. Bishop you, know you grew.
UP i grew. Up you, Know yaller might have had
a thirty eight. Special you know What i'm, saying that's six.
Shots you know they're giving these, kids you, know fully

(01:04:36):
automatic handguns that can shoot you, know seventy to eighty
one hundred rounds in twenty. Seconds like who you trying?

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
To you?

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Know you overkilling? Right, so and the thing one of
my great friends always told me is the money's in the.
Snakes the money's in the snakes. Pity so in order
to get this, culture money that is there is, There
but you gotta stick your hand in this snake pit

(01:05:05):
and you Gotta you're gonna get, Big you're gonna get you,
know all these things are gonna happen to you because
the money is. There because the money is in our.
Trauma it is in our it's in our, dysfunction it's
in the it's in our inability to deal with life.
Sober you know What i'm. Saying it's just like there's

(01:05:25):
no poetry in it. Anymore it's really basically a commercial
to go out here and feel it's okay to take
somebody away from their family because you felt, Disrespected and
that to me says that they don't have conflict resolution
or anything else to live. For because IF i looked

(01:05:45):
at it like, that there's a lot of wet pillows
in the penitentiary and it's just, like why would why
WOULD i have to harm? You you didn't hurt my.
Family you can touch my. KID i, mean you didn't
do anything to me, personally but you said something to
me on this. App you know What i'm, saying this
this piece of, technology you said something that was disrespectful

(01:06:08):
and that in my, Mind i'm, LIKE i can't let
the world see me go out like. That and like
one of my great guys, say a bad day for
the ego is a great day for the, soul because
it's just like WHEN i had to swallow my, ego
probably one of the hardest THINGS i ever had to.
Do but WHEN i tell, you when time passed AND
i saw the things THAT i escaped and started to, understand, Like,

(01:06:33):
okay this is the mastery of being a real. MAN
a real man is gonna tell you That i'm gonna
protect My you come to my. House we ain't got
even had this. Conversation you know What i'm. Saying you come, by,
yall we gotta talk about. It, like Because i'm still
that once a, line you always a. Lie you're gonna keep,
teeth you know What i'm, Saying, like that's not even the,
point you know What i'm. Saying AND i can handle
myself PHYSICALLY i, box you, know at least five six

(01:06:54):
times a, Week Like i'm, not there's no fear. Here
but then If i'm going be in a real leadership,
POSITION i can look at you just LIKE i would
look at my dad and say that's Just. JAY i
can look at you say that's just. Him this guy
has more to do with him than. Me and that's
the part THAT i don't like about the, music BECAUSE
i feel like it's a commercial for us to go
out here and just continue to keep killing each other

(01:07:15):
and not be able to go support events because you're
scared of what's gonna, happen and you're seeing these kids
going to. Prison and if you really look at it right,
now you got all these multi median theres that are
basically Running fortune five hundred companies that are in and
out of prison because nobody's sitting there telling them, like,
man you made it you. Out i'm saying you're, good,
right you're, safe you, know, yeah, brother you don't have

(01:07:39):
To and then if you feel like you need security to,
go be just some ticket. Service.

Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
Yeah and then then a lot of the people that
are rapping now didn't come from the. Hood they're living
In beverly. Hills, yeah and not even.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
That even if they, did they're they're not old enough
to understand what that even truly. Means that's a.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
BLESSING i can't help but keep drawing a line in
my mind between you going into a senior citizen's complex
to feed your mother and taking that same line and
drawing it into developing music to feed the culture, yep

(01:08:19):
and drawing that line from feeding the culture as you
grow and change and demanded the right to get out
of the snake pit to start feeding them more wholesome
sides of yourself and. Business your. Feeder, WOW i never heard.

(01:08:39):
THAT i love, that your. FEEDER i love. That so your,
propensity your fulfillment comes from, feeding because everything you sit
here and tell me about in some way.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Your. FEEDER i love. That, Brother that's really that's really
interesting to.

Speaker 2 (01:09:02):
Me what you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
Think you. Know WHEN i was, Young i'm type of
person like if somebody was coming over with my grandmother's, house,
Like i'm gonna make sure they eat BEFORE i even
see you know What i'm. Saying see WHAT i? Mean,
OH i feel, Rude, like by the, way this. Ain't
this ain't what you're doing over port, Chops like you're
not waiting on. Nobody But i'm just like you want,
some you, Know but BEFORE i even, Eat, yes make

(01:09:25):
sure you. Straight THEN i might get a little bit
of the scraps and keep it. Moving that's interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
Though it's interesting because when you're a, feeder you have
a responsibility to make sure that what you feed to
the people is life giving and not life. Taking all
the things about being rough and tough in the line
and the, teeth the line eventually loses his.

Speaker 1 (01:09:51):
Teeth if you.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
Live long, enough you won't be able to come down
the steps shooting. Everybody oh that's a. Season but the
heart that feeds leads and it stays all the way
down to the. End what do you think you're performing down? Here?

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
Dollars? Yes what do?

Speaker 2 (01:10:18):
You what are you going to feed the people that
come to hear? You and what responsibility do? You, wow
it's crazy you to say. That.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
BEST i mean it's. Threefold the first fold Is i'm
actually here with an orchestra to celebrate the twentieth anniversary
of my first, Album Doug motivation one on. One and
the first fold is to show the generation that's coming

(01:10:47):
up behind me that you can give yourself permission to
evolve and for your art to get better and evolve
with you over, time so that you won't be boxed.
In because IF i was celebrating twenty years of What
i'm doing And i'm just doing the same, thing that's
clear to see That i'm stuck where i was. At
But i'm elevating my you, Know i'm elevating the packaging

(01:11:10):
of this what it is so that you can see
this that you don't got to be out here hunting
your brothers to. Evolve, right this is a whole NOTHER
i came, from what you came. From this is what
evelation looks. Like and this is my purpose to inspire
the culture to. Elevate the second fold would be for
people like myself that understand what evolution is and they're

(01:11:34):
accepting and they're okay with. It it's to come celebrate
twenty years of you because this is your journey as.
WELL i just had the soundtrack for, it AND i
want you to come look in your BEST i want
you to put on your black, tie your black dress
because we're celebrating you and we're doing this together And
i'm going to bring this experience to you That i've

(01:11:54):
never seen Until i've done, it which was a symphony
in the, orchestra because this is what you which is
wild by the, way, Right, Yeah so this brings the
evolution together and people get a chance to see how
great they look and celebrate. Themselves And i'll say the
last part is exactly what you said the. Feeding it's just,

(01:12:17):
like how CAN i get my people to see that
even if it is art and music or whatever else we're,
doing we cannot stop, growing like we have to keep,
growing we have to keep. Evolving we have to keep
creating these spaces where it's safe for us. Too like
if you go into this, event you're not worried about
what's going to happen because you're considered in the rap.

(01:12:38):
Concert you're going to celebrate with other like minded, people
And i'm hoping you leaving motivated and inspired to say
like this is this is this is, us this is
what we should look like because every time you see
us in the, news all you see is we hurt each,
other killing each, other or we're doing something we shouldn't be.
Doing and this is a celebration of the people who
chose to go to other raupe and they actually actually

(01:12:58):
living their dreams and living their life even doing what they're,
doing and they get to celebrate in this moment and
they're dressed to the, nines and you get to see
this black conduct that his brother conduct this orchestra and
he wrote the music and, everything and see all these
people on the stage that are actually helping me again
align it with my. Vision their goal is to be a.

(01:13:20):
Musician my vision is to elevate my. Coach and we're
doing this. Together and we actually put out an album
of the show of The Semphonic, experience a version OF
tm one on. One it's A Dalla. Symphony, well, no
this is the color of. Noise. Okay, yeah SO i
actually put together set brown and when is this?

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
Air we haven't put a date on it, Yet. Okay
but the thing that's amazing when a woman is, pregnant
one of the first things that doctor tells her is
to watch what she eats and watch what she, drinks
because whatever she and jests goes into the. Baby WHAT
i THINK i hear you saying is that you. Evolve,

(01:14:07):
uh your milk is becoming more. Wholesome okay sometimes and oddly,
enough in your, world it takes more courage to be
wholesome than it does to be, ratchet because ratchet is Easily.

Speaker 1 (01:14:23):
Yeah ratchet, works, Yees ratchet. Works yeah, yeah ratchet is. Good.
YEAH i mean you're hearing that. World but so you're
making when you're making wholesome, decisions, yeah you gotta get pushed.

Speaker 2 (01:14:35):
Back you're going to get pushed. Back so if you're
the Pat piper and and all of these people are following,
you where where are you taking?

Speaker 1 (01:14:42):
Them where AM i taking? Them i'm gonna be honest with. You,
VISIT i Ask god that every, morning where are you taking?
This what are you having me to? Do BECAUSE i
just WHEN i get, UP i just know. It i'm
just walking And I'm i'm And i'm And i'm walking
And i'm staying focused And i'm just listening for the

(01:15:03):
signs And i'm watching for the. Signs and IF i
think it's, ANYTHING i think it's to to to to
show that there is another, route there is another, Way
and we can't be we can't be afraid of taking
that detour because we've walked in this path for too,

(01:15:27):
long of this destruction and everything that we come into
grasp with it always, Implodes it never it never gets
us to where we need to. Go and it's just
like even with all our leaders and everything that, happen
it's always they take them away or this happened or that,
happened or this happened and that, happened and it's just
like when you look at the, world it is the

(01:15:49):
way it is. Now i've never seen even for my
men's group and the you, know when you listen to
the men that the there and tell you they ain't
never been in a safe space where they, can you,
know express how they, Feel he's, like, wow you. Know
and for, ME i feel like that's SOMETHING i gotta
push because IF i can get men to understand that

(01:16:13):
it is okay to find a group of like minded
men to help you process this, thing then that's something
THAT i gotta. Do but that's an unpopular decision because
if you sit there and tell somebody you got a,
therapist they look at you like you're. Crazy but it's just,
like how AM i managing all this stuff and trying
to you, know processing on my own besides me And?
God but still LIKE i still need mentoring help. TOO

(01:16:34):
i got to call you about certain. Things you know
What i'm saying, like listen what you, think but if
you ask me where we're, GOING i. Haven't LIKE i
Ask god every day AND i know he gonna unveil
it to, me But i'm just walking in my light
because it's LIKE i can't do nothing. Else even IF
i got up YESTERDAY i wanted to, GO i don't,

(01:16:55):
KNOW i was gonna go hang out with my friend
to do. Something it was Like god was, like, nah,
bro we're going to do. This AND i had to
change my whole day AND i stayed on. It it
took me the middle of the night to get it.
Done but WHEN i laid down AND i, PRAYED i was, Like,
okay that was. It that's WHAT i was supposed to do.

Speaker 2 (01:17:10):
Today you, know it's, funny it's it's okay not to
have the answer to every. Question god Told abraham to
take now his only Son isaac to a place that
he would show. Him so he had to be willing
to lead his son without being able to answer the

(01:17:31):
question of exactly where we're.

Speaker 1 (01:17:32):
Going and that's WHAT i hear you say in my. Language,
YEAH i translated for my.

Speaker 2 (01:17:41):
Language so there's a certain degree of faith in the
process that that that he will reveal. It but it's
also a responsibility that that it's your your, son your
leading and you want to be a better father then
you were fathered because they don't have to be bloodkin

(01:18:04):
to be. Ken do you let me let me switch
subjects for a. Minute chapter number, six. Divorce you went
through real tough divorce.

Speaker 1 (01:18:17):
For.

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
ME i don't think there are no losses if there is, learning, right,
Okay and when you look back on, it and you
may not have had time to process, it because big
stuff like, that it takes a long time to really.
Process what was that all? About what what did you

(01:18:38):
learn from?

Speaker 1 (01:18:39):
IT i LEARNED i was a great, HUSBAND i can't.
OKAY i got a beautiful daughter out of a, situation
so there's no regrets. There BUT i learned a lot about.
MYSELF i learned that that there's things THAT i continue
to work. ON i learned, about you, know my prefaces for,

(01:19:02):
things the type of space THAT i, need the type
of moments THAT i need to decompress about certain. Things
and this just unselfish. Nature you know THAT i was
selfish in my prior, life AND i think just going
forward in, life it just taught me how to like

(01:19:28):
give someone else grace and actually listen to understand rather
than just to listen to, reply you, know because when
you're sharing the life of, somebody you, know it's almost
like you don't become. One but this is a, partnership,

(01:19:49):
Right and so for, me it's almost Like i've never
experienced anything like, that just coming from WHERE i came.
From SO i never had to, share you know What i'm.
SAYING i never had to comp fromise. Anyway SO i
just think it taught me a lot about what compromising was,
like and then things that you, KNOW i can just
work on as a. Person you. Know it's a.

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
Mirror, yeah it's a. Mirror it's a. Mirror it's a.
Reflection you. Know it's a funny. Thing if you go,
death eventually you won't speak clearly to. Me you can't
speak right if you can't listen. Right so the correlation
between the ear and the mouth is so connected that

(01:20:30):
the speech clears when the ear is. Open so WHEN
i asked, you what did you learn from? It i'm asking,
you are you? Listening and as you, listen that should
change who you, marry if you marry, again how you

(01:20:51):
communicate your, Music every aspect for your life is like.
Blood it doesn't stay in one, Spot it goes. Everywhere
so wisdom is the same way it. Goes it goes.
Everywhere AND i think everything that makes you better makes you. Wiser, yes, yeah,

(01:21:12):
yes what would you do differently if if the choice
comes up?

Speaker 1 (01:21:16):
AGAIN i would definitely take my. Time you know What i'm.
Saying i've learned now that friendship is the biggest key to.
ANYTHING i, MEAN i think when you become friends with
someone and you're like really invested in the, friendship it
just builds a different type of. Foundation AND i feel that,

(01:21:40):
DIFFERENTLY i would SAY i would build A i would
make sure that the community is as strong as the,
foundation because it takes a community like to keep you,
know to keep you, accountable and have people that you
can process, with and have like minded people that you
can have conversations with about things that, may you, know

(01:22:01):
just might not be a you, know end all be all,
issue but as things you might not. Understand you know
What i'm, Saying because to be honest with, YOU i
didn't have a lot of great examples of. Relationships AND
i do want to say this, though BECAUSE i felt
like when people hear me speak about like WHAT i

(01:22:22):
went through my mom and all this. Stuff they're, like,
oh you went into a relationship with marriage with mommy.
ISSUES i had been working on that, Stuff so that
had nothing to do with you, know my timeline with my,
marriage but as a man and someone who was coming
into his own you, know and someone who came from

(01:22:45):
a world where, like you, know your leadership is rule
with an iron, fist because that's what survival is based.
On and then for you to like start living in
abundance rather than, scarcity it was a humbling experience to
have to like actually like make sure that you're present

(01:23:09):
enough to hear what somebody else's, right and then you're
you're you're there should be no judgment there because you
can't tell somebody something's not true to, them like they
can't tell you something's not true to. You so it
was just just, understand, Right it was just understanding things like.
That so IF i ever did it, DIFFERENTLY i think

(01:23:31):
that even in the dating, stages like even like the
day like we could be, friends but even in the dating,
STAGES i would want to do like some pre marital like,
counseling you know What i'm, saying to have somebody self.
Kind BUT i will say, this my heart of my
spirit tells me like now the Space i'm, IN i

(01:23:52):
just see life. Partner you know What i'm, Saying BECAUSE
i just kind of feel like when you build a
friendship and you the solid foundation with somebody Like AND
i don't don't get me, WRONG i don't know What
oprah's statement got going. ON i ain't any business night
in their. House but it works for, Them i'm, Saying
And i'm quite sure that they negotiated. Something if it doesn't,
work you, know he's gonna be. Strange she's gonna be

(01:24:15):
straight and gonna keep on moving WHAT i don't agree.
With and because this new generation of, dating marriage and
all these things is so, quick it's so immediate, gratification
it's also for. Show is that as somebody that had
to come, from you, know the type of, background and
to take the losses THAT i had to, take And

(01:24:36):
i'm quite sure everybody took losses in their. Life is
THAT i feel that if two human beings can come
together and come to some type of understanding and build
this bond that doesn't need a piece of paper to
validate it and, say, hey look we're gonna do life.
Together we're gonna make this. Work BUT i also want

(01:24:57):
you to be, okay if this doesn't, work what is
that like for? You let's talk about. That let's get that. Together,
okay you're good with. That i'm good with. That we signed,
that you, Sign we do whatever we get the, ring
we do all. That WHAT i never want to go through.
AGAIN i don't want that from, anybody BECAUSE i know
a lot of brothers just been going through the court.
Cases is seeing these people take your money and send

(01:25:18):
their kids to college with your money because you're fight,
them because it becomes. Adversarial, well let's decide what it's
going to, be and if you're good with, that If
i'm good with, that if it doesn't, work what you
wanted to, work but at least we got to understand
and that we can part ways and we can still be,
okay it just didn't. Work but when we come, adversarial
And i'm not just speaking on my, Way i'm talking about,

(01:25:40):
overall once the lawyers get, involved they smell. Blood you
know What i'm. Saying they just want. Money they just
making the, Money they keeping a fighting. Going they're the
wise who walk. Away, god, yeah you, know and it's
all lie off your you, know just off you, know
you're you're hurting your. Pain and IF i was to

(01:26:03):
ever be with, SOMEBODY i would just hope they would
understand just coming from the space That i'm coming from
THAT i don't feel LIKE i could be loyal to
you without a piece of. PAPER i could be, LOYAL
i could Be i'm gonna protect you without any of.
That i'm going you you are my. Person BUT i
just don't THINK i can never be in a situation
While i'm sitting there watching these, people you, know pick

(01:26:24):
apart my. LIFE i, mean you, know they you, know
people challenge those all. Day BUT i would rather agreement
than a, prenup meaning that it's the same. Thing we
don't got to go in front of a judge to
figure this. Out it could be in an, account it

(01:26:45):
could be in an escrow picking up you, know you,
know it could be making money while you, know it
could be picking up interest or. Whatever it could be doing,
whatever but we understand this is what this. Is Because
i'm just saying that when you go through you, know
And i'm not speaking just on my, Situation LIKE i
talk to brothers all the time And i'm not a you,

(01:27:06):
Know i'm not a relationship, counselor And i'm just telling
brothers WHAT i think or trying to help them process.
It but WHAT i get from it is you're already in.
Pain you, know you wanted this to. Work you're trying
to figure out these things. Out but these people are
basically you, know they're basically taking everything that you work

(01:27:29):
for a part and they're leaving with you, know this
generation of wealth you built to put it into their.
Family and then this is money you could have sent
your kids through college, with you could have you, know
set your family up, with and that same financial stuff
we was talking about. Before that's where that strain comes.

(01:27:51):
From because if you've given you, know these lawyers and
all these, things all this different money you're taking away from,
that well, where, hey if it didn't, WORK i love,
You you're, Good i'm. Good we straight let's take care
of the. Babies y'all need, Anything i'm still here and
you still got what you, need and we still got

(01:28:11):
this nest egg that we just didn't give away that
if something ever happens that we know both, know, hey
if you need something's. There you know What i'm saying
at our, Age i'm older than. YOU i flattered.

Speaker 2 (01:28:24):
Myself that felt. Good, yeah, yeah just like. That, yeah
this is this is not, color this is.

Speaker 1 (01:28:36):
Real. Okay. Yeah to, me it's all in the choice
and the.

Speaker 2 (01:28:48):
Person, yes, yes it's all in the. CHOICE i agree with.
That and if you, don't you can't do a good
deal with the wrong. Person that's, Right, okay. Absolutely and
the other THING i thought while you were talking THAT
i thought was really. Interesting almost all of your life
you've been. Deliberate you raise. Yourself you survived the trials by,

(01:29:15):
yourself you overcame the obstacles of sexual, abuse, whatever you
did it by, yourself and you went on about your.
Business marriage is collaborative.

Speaker 1 (01:29:29):
And you're.

Speaker 2 (01:29:31):
CHOOSING i wrote, IT i wrote in my first, book
see how you like, this and then we're gonna do some.
Fun marriage is choosing whose hand you want to hold
when they lower your parents' body into the.

Speaker 1 (01:29:47):
Ground.

Speaker 2 (01:29:48):
Okay marriage is the person who's got you when all
the furniture is put out on the. Street marriage is
choosing who's going to be your partner on the red
carpet or when the guests is. Off AND i tried

(01:30:11):
to set some standard as it's not always going to be.
Good it's not always going to be. Bad but it's
a chapter call the table for two AND i talked about.
That it's a collaboration so. Far don't know what the
future is gonna. Bring don't Think i'm going to get.
Divorced but forty.

Speaker 1 (01:30:33):
IF i happen to meet, Somebody i'm gonna bring them
through you so you can do the betting for. Me,
OKAY i will help you going to See i've got
a fifty to fifty. SUCCESS i want to let you
up that from the top of not everybody That i've
heard stayed. Married, okay but chapter number, seven what's?

Speaker 2 (01:30:56):
MISSING i hate it when people say what do you
give to the person who has? Everything BECAUSE i think
it's an excuse you you, know, uh you, know and
it and it lives off of the assumption that because
you have, something you have. Everything WHEN i have never

(01:31:18):
met the man who has. Everything that's a. Fact what's
missing from you that you wish you? Had that's a great.
Questions BEFORE i was missing trusting, myself you know What i'm.

Speaker 1 (01:31:35):
SAYING i was missing connecting with, myself like like knowing
WHO i, am What i'm doing While i'm. Here what fused?
Me what what drains? Me what takes away from? Me
and it's not so much THAT i think now IF
i had to answer that is what more COULD i

(01:31:57):
do for? Culture because what's missing for me is helping
us get an understanding that we are really all we.
Got that's what keeps me up at night because BECAUSE
i see, It i'm still hearing things that go on
on the. STREETS i Still i'm still losing. Friends i'm
going to push. Back, OKAY i asked you what was

(01:32:20):
missing from, you and you gave me another mission for
you to go. Do. YEAH i did.

Speaker 2 (01:32:26):
To escape the vulnerability of admitting a personal. Need And
i'm not going to let you get that with.

Speaker 1 (01:32:34):
It oh, Man yeah. Yeah every everything about you is
about giving to what they. Needed help me with, that
Because i'm, like, okay so IF i was to ask
you and you don't have to answer, it IF i
was asked you the same, question What i'm just trying
to get an understanding. Of because WHEN i woke up this,

(01:32:57):
MORNING i walked. Around SO i love my, HOUSE i
love my. LIFE i love. It oh this is, Great
like this is. Amazing SO i DON'T i don't really
like there's NOTHING i truly like. Want IF i, think
like if, ANYTHING i can't think of like NOTHING i.
WANT i ain't talking about like, materialistic BUT i like my,
family life is, great my friends are. AMAZING i love

(01:33:20):
WHAT i. DO i love the city That i'm, IN
i love you. KNOW i just really can't think of
like nothing THAT i like personally want a. NEED i
would say, companionship but then it's, LIKE i don't got the,
time you know What i'm, Saying so that'll be kind
of like pushing. It you know What i'm. Saying definitely

(01:33:42):
ain't walking down no, aisle no time soon if you. Don't,
YEAH i get, It, YEAH i get. IT i would
have Roller states if.

Speaker 2 (01:33:55):
You two THINGS i think would be valuable to you
is a clear answer as to where you are, going
that way that people who are following you don't go
to a. Cliff and the second thing is a funeral

(01:34:17):
for the person you were in the lyrics that you gave,
me the beer and the champagne all mixed. Together i'd
like to see them, separate to the point that the
person that you were was cremated and the person that
you are free to be now gets to spread his

(01:34:40):
wings and, fly and that means being full and vulnerable
at the same. Time, yeah and then you discover what
you need for.

Speaker 1 (01:34:53):
Me.

Speaker 2 (01:34:55):
Trust it's very, valuable very difficult to trust people who
just met you when you're on your way. UP i
tend to do better trusting people who were there WHEN
i was. Struggling Ok and they're still there, now and
they've got a resume that has. Longevity but there's lots
of little things THAT i don't have to BECAUSE i

(01:35:17):
fill my life with business much like you, do and
don't often take enough time for me as an, individual
and then get frustrated because the people around me don't
give me WHAT i don't give. Myself you teach people
how to love you by how you love, yourself not

(01:35:39):
by how much you give to, them but how much
you value. Yourself set say standard for them to understand
how you. Roll and in order to see how you.
Roll we got to get rid of that guy who

(01:35:59):
we've been to talking about. Today we've got he did his.
Job he got you. Here the arrow is way down
the road, Now, Okay, okay we don't need the bowl
to still be bent once the arrow is. Released and
sometimes you talk like the bowl is still being pulled
AND i think somebody that helps you bring that bow

(01:36:23):
into closer. Proximity, uh and you really get to enjoy
where the arrow landed rather than rehearse how far the
bowl was. Pulled back is a, gift AND i leave
that gift with. You i'm gonna call you later and
we can talk to.

Speaker 1 (01:36:43):
It it's, okay it's, okay it's. Cool it's.

Speaker 2 (01:36:47):
Cool chapter number, Eight beef With. Knas SO i read
where you had a disagreement With knas and you were
all up said when you called, him he was, calm
and you learned the ability to communicate your feelings without
being as aggressive as you once.

Speaker 1 (01:37:08):
Were.

Speaker 2 (01:37:09):
Uh what do you think it takes for us to
teach black men today how to communicate without?

Speaker 1 (01:37:16):
Rage, well the first thing is you're gonna agree to.
Disagree and going back to the nod, SITUATION i never forget.
IT i was just getting. ON i was In chicago
doing radio and it was LIKE nas AND i just
dropped my album and then all of a, sudden he
put out this song called Hip hop Is, dead and everybody's, like,
oh he talk about you cure hip, Hop and you,

(01:37:37):
KNOW i kind of spent out of control at the
radio station and he happened to be on Death jam as,
well and he called, me and he called. Me his
first words, was what's, Up? King somebody hit you with
The king off? Top but he was so. Calm he was,
like he's, like hey, man you, know he's, like he's,

(01:37:58):
Like i'm hearing. That you, know you feel a way
about the. Song it had nothing to do with. You
i'm talking about the state of hip. Hop explain it to,
me so, calm so, poised and he's just, like, nah,
man anytime you, know you want to, call we could
talk through it or. Whatever BUT i really felt how
IGNORANT i was being BECAUSE i let somebody else convince

(01:38:18):
me that he was saying something about WHAT i was,
doing because my ego was just that. Big you know
What i'm, saying and what it taught me going forward
is That and this is the THING i score back
to the conflict resolution is you, know even as black,
men WHAT i learned is When i'm a, shamed arm,

(01:38:39):
embarrassed that's WHEN i get the most. Defensive, yes. Right
but he allowed me space to feel that without you,
know pouring gasoline on. It, yes because you know how
you're in the black. Household you do something. Wrong it was, like,
yeah AND i told, you and that's why you did
it because you don't know no. Better you, like you,

(01:39:00):
know they be little. You he, didn't he didn't do.
That so going, forward and it took some, decades WHAT
i did discover is it's all about, mindset you know
What i'm. Saying and if you in a in a
group of individuals and their mindset it's still, that then
that's how they're going to react to anything that they.

(01:39:21):
Feel when people are, angry they're mostly most of the,
time they're, scared you know What i'm. Saying they're either
scared that you're going to find something out or scared
that you're going to react a certain way and they're
not gonna be able to control the. Situation but then
WHEN i got into this other space THAT i had
to work hard to get into BECAUSE i had one
of my art mentors told me the other, days, like,
yeah ten years, ago they, SAID i want to never

(01:39:43):
let you in my, house you know What i'm. Saying
so he understands, that you, know there's been a. Transformation
but WHAT i say is WHEN i got into a
group of like minded. MEN i immediately started to understand
that you can do something and call somebody back the
next day and, say, hey, brother how you. Doing you're good.

(01:40:03):
MAN i just want to tell, you like last, NIGHT
i was a little. Pocket you know What i'm. SAYING
i got a little and you, know the conversation wasn't
supposed to be like. That that was definitely not my.
Intentions and then the brother or the other end, say, oh,
man you know it's no. Problem BUT i know your,
HEART i know. You, YEAH i know you didn't mean,
that and and that resolved in and you're going to
do bigger and better, things when in my prior, life

(01:40:25):
that conversation would have ended with them hanging up the
phone and me hanging up the, phone being at the
top of our voice and being, Like i've been not seeing.
You you better not see. Me and then when you see,
them you got to you gotta read, now you got
to react because you set it up that way now
and everybody's you, know about their, issue but it's just
like there's no conflict resolution. There so with black men

(01:40:46):
being able to talk to each other and having no,
judgment it de escalates things and it builds long standing
relationships because in any, relationship you're gonna mess, up you
know What i'm. Saying it's, like can you be can
you put your ego to the, side have the hard,

(01:41:06):
conversation and every time there is any type of, conflict
that's an opportunity to strengthen the relationship because NOW i
can say to, you, hey, bro, like, man, MAN i
really apologize for. THAT i had no idea that made
you feel that. Way and he can, go, okay, yeah,
Man like you're just going forward man for, me, please you,
know just don't say. That you, Know i'm sensitive about.

(01:41:27):
That this happened to me WHEN i was, young and
this happened then and there and then also. Too it
builds trust Because i've been having a conversations when people
will they might ask you something and be surprised that
you tell them because you're letting them in your private. Space.
Right that's building a. Relationship you're trusting, it you, know
and then you'll see when they do it to. YOU

(01:41:49):
i was with one of my other guys the other
day and were just. Talking he was one of my,
guys you on his restaurant In, atlanta and we're just
having a conversation he started telling me About now this
guy never tells nobody about none of his. Lands he's
telling me about this whole other things about the building.
Doing i'm just sitting there, like, oh you trust, me
which is the highest form of, flattery and right like

(01:42:11):
you trust. Me you're telling me your. Ideas and it's
just like that came from having a disagreement before, yeah
and then me calling him, saying, hey DID i say
this last?

Speaker 2 (01:42:21):
Night?

Speaker 1 (01:42:22):
Yeah, Yeah AND i was, like, okay, LOOK i just
want you to know WHAT i meant right BECAUSE i
said it and.

Speaker 2 (01:42:27):
Passing but sometimes what you said what you meant her
two different. Things chapter number nine learily Versus scripture. Game
it was suggested that we do this. Game, okay and
this is a game that that you you give me some,
lyrics some, beats some, lyrics AND i have to explain

(01:42:52):
what it. Means oh, wow and.

Speaker 1 (01:42:55):
This is gonna be. Fun and THAT i give you a.
Scripture oh, wow you have to, explain oh my, god
what that. Means so, okay let's going. First, Uh i'll go.

Speaker 2 (01:43:10):
First blessed is the man that walk him not in
The council of The ungodly no standeth in the way of,
sinners nor sit in the seat of the. Scornful oh.
Wow but his delight is in the law of The.
Lord and in that law does he meditate both day and.
Night and he should be like a tree planted by
the rivers of, waters bringing for fruit in his own.

(01:43:33):
Season his leaf also shall not, wither and whatsoever he
does shall.

Speaker 1 (01:43:38):
Prosper, oh My, god whatever he does shall. Prosper, Okay
SO i got to break that. Down, yeah, well you
want me to do it. Again you can do that. Again,
YES i can do it all. Day, blessed listen at.

Speaker 2 (01:43:54):
It. Okay blessed is the man that walketh not in
the council of the, ungodly nor standeth in the way of,
sinners nor sitteth in the seat of the. Scornful but
in his log talking About god's, law does he meditate
day and. Night and he shall be like a. Tree

(01:44:16):
this is an important part that's planeted by the rivers of,
waters that being her for fruit in his own. Season
his leaf also shall not, wither and whatsoever he does shall.

Speaker 1 (01:44:29):
Prosper, Okay so he's planted by he become a. Tree
he's gonna be planted by. Water because he in whatever
fruit comes from, that because he meditates a, word and
then that his his his leaf may never, wither meaning

(01:44:50):
that he was stay strong and. Healthy, yes, okay you did, good,
good you did. Good you did. Good, okay, nakon you.

Speaker 2 (01:45:01):
Probably did better do. It So i'm gonna get. Grace,
okay some. Grace okay here you? Ready, YEAH.

Speaker 1 (01:45:10):
I got a million dollar Dreams Federal. Nightmas we Popped
chris with your, champagne but still drink. Beers what did you? Expect?
SEE i came from, nothing real street figure and wouldn't
change for. Nothing got my homies out the, hood such
a wonderful feeling ten car garage with the twelve foot.

(01:45:33):
Ceilings it ought to be a crime just to be this.
Good it ought to be a crime just to be this.
Hood yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:45:42):
Oh us soon say. Again, no it's a series of dichotomous.
Situations just because you're in the mansions doesn't mean that
you ever left the, Hood and just because you drink
champagne doesn't mean that you don't crave. Here it's saying

(01:46:04):
that no matter how successful you, get that that poor
guy that started out with nothing always goes moves in
the mansion with the day it, is AM i, right you're,
right all, right.

Speaker 1 (01:46:15):
You might well do, it so give, me give me SOME.

Speaker 2 (01:46:22):
I love.

Speaker 1 (01:46:23):
It, yeah that's. Good i'll have you up at the
let's do. It. Okay. No.

Speaker 2 (01:46:28):
Uh in some way you talked About tupac being like
a preacher to. You in some, ways we talked about
you being a. Leader in some, ways you reach out
to me or we'll have a. Conversation there's a thin.
Line we're both working with words and people are responding
to those words and making, Changes and whether you know

(01:46:51):
it or, not in some way you're somebody's fastor right,
right and maybe the only pastor that they will pay
any attention. To, yeah, okay and Sometimes i'm dropping. Lines
it's changing lives and there's not that much. Difference you

(01:47:12):
got music behind. YOU i got music behind. Me so
we can have a conversation and find a. Bridge though
my message ends up at a different, spot because my
message is to end you up closer To. Christ your,
message you're still trying to figure out where it ends.
Up there's enough synergy for us to have conversation and

(01:47:35):
camaraderie and. Connectivity you like, BUSINESS i like. Business you
pull yourself up from. NOTHING i did, too the same
roaches that was in your bed left. Time my mother Had,
alzheimer's showers Had. Alzheimer's and that make us, finally, yeah

(01:47:59):
it makes us, family, bro it makes his. FAMILY i
mean even when you call me, though you, say, hey
how you, doing Brother, Jesus, yeah you know this, TIME i,
mean it's it's. Amazing it's just amazing, that.

Speaker 1 (01:48:13):
You, KNOW i keep thinking about that born, arrow you,
know as far as it pulled us, back, yeah you,
know projected us. Forward. Yeah, yeah and and AND i see,
that and which is why you, KNOW i definitely because you,
said you, know like a lot of, TIMES i was
able to pick Out tupac because he resonated with me.

(01:48:35):
DIRECTLY i needed. That and even WHEN i listened to your,
sermons you resonate with me. Directly you, KNOW i get
it Because i've been to. Church i've listened to sermons,
before but some of it goes over my. Head and
it's the. Messenger it's truly the. Messenger and that says
a lot about you, know the past we've both been,
on because if you've been on a similar, path you

(01:48:57):
have similar you, know words and similar phrase as a
metaphors and your. Delivery it's very. Similar and if you
ever hear a sermon and you can't figure it, out call.
Me will you can help?

Speaker 2 (01:49:10):
Me rub, guys we'll get. Together it's been a real
pleasure to have an opportunity to talk with. YOU i
congratulate you on the things that you have accomplished and
the things that you've learned and the things you will
learn from day to.

Speaker 1 (01:49:28):
Day thank.

Speaker 2 (01:49:28):
YOU i know that twenty years from, now If i'm still,
around the person sitting in that chair will have a
whole different perspective because the longer you, live the more you,
learn and you never finished learning because we never are
as perfect as we. APPEAR i owe, YOU i thank,

(01:49:52):
you AND i can't let you leave TILL i give
it to. You my people told me that you were
one of the first people to call WHEN i had
my health incident on the episode to see IF i was,
okay AND i would have never thought.

Speaker 1 (01:50:06):
That. YES i just wanted now THAT i live to
say it SINCE i. Did. You, GOD i want to
tell you THAT i appreciate. Thingboutfulness, yes that means, you
my brother, man AND i appreciate it just, always you,
know being a you, know just a just an ear
and always like saving space for. ME i appreciate. It, Always,

(01:50:29):
yes any, time. Anywhere thank you Brother god bleak for something.

Speaker 2 (01:50:33):
Something hey, EVERYBODY i want to take this time to
thank you for watching The Next chapter. Podcasts if this
conversation inspired, you helped you reflect on an, idea or
spark something new inside of, you make sure to, like
comments and subscribed so you.

Speaker 1 (01:50:53):
Don't miss future.

Speaker 2 (01:50:55):
Episodes, remember life isn't about how you, Begin it's about
how you finished, Strong so start your next chapter without right.

Speaker 1 (01:51:08):
Here every week

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Jeezy on Trauma, Fame, Prison, Tupac & Becoming a Man | NXT Chapter With T.D. Jakes

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Jeezy on Trauma, Fame, Prison, Tupac & Becoming a Man | NXT Chapter With T.D. Jakes