Brian Austin Green's second Act

David Silver is 52?! Yes, and we're all the better for it. This week, S.E. taps into the ultimate nostalgia interview with Brian Austin Green — the youngest star of the 90s teen drama, 90210 — only to experience one of the wisest, most thoughtful, life-lesson-filled conversations she's had on Off the Cupp. Brian and S.E. talk about 90210, of course, but they also talk about his childhood, parenting, midlife, and what he has learned from his neurological breakdown. Brian also turns the table on S.E.! And asks her about her career paths and life choices. And stay tuned for a very special 9-0 quiz! If you want more Brian Austin Green, check out his podcast, Oldish.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
I love the concept of this is the second act
of my life. Yeah, because if I look at the
first act, I had a long fucking life.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
I did a lot of it. She did a lot, yeah,
from like.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
All through school, yeah, all through my twenties, like finding myself,
making mistakes, doing shit. So now I get to start
this second act from who I am now forward.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
Welcome to Off the Cop, my personal anti anxiety antidote.
This episode is special because I'm coming to on Location.
Nineties con is happening in Hartford, Connecticut this weekend, and
I traveled here.

Speaker 4 (00:38):
With one purpose in mind to interview this guest.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Now, I grew up with this person, not literally, of course,
but in the way we all grew up with this
person if you were between the ages of eleven and
twenty five in the nineties. And I remember watching the
first episode of nine h two and zero vividly. It
was like I had just discovered a drug.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
I was young. I was probably too young.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
I think I was like eleven, bad parenting.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Woh yes, no, But I hit it from my parents. Okay,
I hit it because this show was not appropriate for
an eleven year old. But I was so hooked along
with the rest of the nation, and that show gave.

Speaker 4 (01:15):
Us so much. For ten seasons.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
It covered sex, date, rape, racism, drugs, eating disorders, you
name the teen affliction, and this show did it and
then some. I think for a lot of us there
was something we could attach to somewhere in this show,
something that reflected our life, even though we were never
as cool as these kids were. Well, now one of

(01:39):
the cool kids is here on my podcast, which is
so wild.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
Brian Austin Green, Welcome to Off the Cup.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
It's so excited.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Like when you I said this before, when you reached
out to me, Yeah, I was flabbergasted.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
I was like, yet, absolutely because you had so you.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
I have so much respect for you and what you do,
because it's so brave what you do. Like you you
put your opinion out there knowing that there's going to
be a massive swath of this country that hate you
for it, absolutely, and you do it anyway, and it's
that's amazing. I do not do that. I sit at

(02:23):
these conventions autographs and you know.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
I try just a wash in nineties nostalgia.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
At this one. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
So this is it's they play all nineties music. It's
all people from like say by the Bell, Like it's
all the shows and the things that were going on
at that time.

Speaker 4 (02:42):
It's awesome.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Do you like doing these I love honest, So I so,
I love so. I love doing these nineties cons They're
really fun because it is it's my decade.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
They're my people.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Some of these other conventions you do that are very
h They cover all genres.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
So they've got horror people.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
There, they have fans of anime there, they have you know,
Andy Serkis will be there and the kids from like
Lord of the Rings. So then you kind of I
kind of get lost back in the corner, except for
you know, the parents that can show up after work,
you know. And so I spend most of the day
just kind of watching people go by and like trying

(03:24):
to offer them goodies and shit from my table, hoping
they'll come right right.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
Well, I mean it sounds really fun.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
What does it feel like to have people care so
much about a character that you like.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
It's insane. They care a lot, it's insane. Yeah, it's.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
I get it because I felt the same way about
shows that meant the world. Like I so for me
meeting my heroes, Like my heroes are who are they? Skaters?
I grew up in nor Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, so I
grew up skating. So like the first time I met
Tony Hawk, I was like, I don't care about anything else.
This is the craziest moment in my life.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
So you get that that fantasm.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
So yeah, so I understand it.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
So I always try and keep that in mind when
I'm meeting people, so I'm like authentically in it. Yeah,
I don't understand necessarily their fan Like I don't have
the same connection to Nino two one zero that other
people do, but I have a connection to life and
things from when I was a kid, so we have

(04:26):
so much in common that way.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
I try and approach it that way.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Do you have any personal space rules when you're at
these like or are you just like hugs, kisses, signs whatever?

Speaker 2 (04:36):
I so not.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
I'm no signing bras, but I otherwise I don't have
space rules, Okay, Like I really, I really try, and
because the lines get long and people are waiting hours
for these things, and I can't give them a ton
of time because I need to try and get through
the line of people that are there, but I want
to make it something special for people that are there.

(05:00):
So I hug him, you know, like really make sure
that I lock eyes with him when we're talking, and oh,
what's your name.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
My name is Brian, Nice to meet you. What are
we doing? You know.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
It's like I really try and make it as in a.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Short period of time, the best experience it can be.

Speaker 4 (05:13):
That's great. Yeah, have your kids seen ny.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
So they haven't seen nine O two one, Oh, but
they've seen like pictures and things I have. There are
a couple fans of the show that are like mega fans.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
There's this guy.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
Sure more than a couple, but okay, but I mean.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Like there they are a couple that are like they
run all of it. There's this one guy, Darren Martin,
who lives he's up north in Canada, and he's known
as the nine O two one bro Keeper of the
Code because he's literally got like he remembers everything that
was ever done on the show. He started watching the

(05:53):
show he was going through dialysis, so he had four
hours to kill every time he was doing it. So
he started watching the show and it became something that
just he's so incredibly passionate about. So we have these
people that really kind of they keep us in tune
of what is really happening out there and what people

(06:16):
like and love about it and what they're responding to.
So he's put together these binders of press clippings of
like magazine things and stuff that we did all through
the show and even before. And he was kind enough
to send me one of these binders because he made
a copy of it for himself. So he was like, Oh,
your kids are going to love this, and I was like,

(06:36):
it's a lot of work that you're doing, but thank you.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
And sure enough, my kids love it.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
Oh my god, I love it.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
They spent all this time going through and they're like,
oh my god, look at you when you were ten
and twelve.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
And doing this stuff.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
It's like me break dancing and you know, doing all
the stupid teen magazine shit that was happening.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Well, we're going to get into it. There's a lot
more that I want to get to. I feel like
you talk about that a lot, and yeah, you're more
than that.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
I am more than that.

Speaker 4 (07:05):
You're more than that. Well, you're a full person. That's
what we try to do on Off the Cock.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Wait, so can I asker you because I so, I
do podcasts and I have a show also which I
invited you on.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
So I yes, so I am.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
It's funny now when I sit with people, I want
to ask like questions also and I want to Yeah.
So I so you started. You watched the show when
it was on before in the nineties.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
How how big of a show was it for you? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (07:40):
And then how did you get into journalism? Like how
did that happen?

Speaker 3 (07:44):
Okay, Well, it was a it was a big show
for me. Okay, it was a very big show. I
think I kind of dropped off when y'all went to college. Okay,
but for the years that you were in high school,
it was I was you were like five years ahead
of me, so you know, to me, I was looking
at my future, which was way better than what my
future turned out to be in high school. Okay, in

(08:04):
an all girls Cathol high school, it was nothing like Okay,
no to but no, I mean I was super into
that show. It was a groundbreaking show to have this
like soapy teen drama. And then I think I got
real into my so called life, which was just one
season like tragically, and then you know, i'd get I

(08:28):
got into like friends and some of the older folks,
but no, no, no, it was a big, big deal, big
deal this show. And I got into journalism because I've
always been a writer. I like asking questions, That's what
I like to do. So I worked at the college newspaper.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
And then how did that lead to political journalism?

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Though? For you, because that is that was not such
a leap, that was a huge sleep. That's a choice
to make in life, like I am going to fight.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
Yeah, you know, it's it's not what I what I
thought I was going to do.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
I was writing about like culture, and then nine to
eleven happened, and I lived in New York City, and
so I became then and patriotic, and you know, I
tried to enlist, and my parents were like to their
only child, they were like, no, please find some other

(09:24):
more productive way to channel your patriotism. So I ended
up writing about politics. Okay, that really snowballed and took
over the main you know, my career.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, that's so crazy, and it was it used.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
To be fun covering politics when it was normal.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Well, but it's got to be fun covering on the
level the fucking craziness of what is going on.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
It's always fun covering something novel and different. And as
journalists we have a front row to history. That's an
honor and a responsibility.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
But it's exhausting. It's exhausting covering politics for sure, Day Today.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Okay, back to you, to you you are, Yes.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (10:07):
You're heading into season three of Oldish.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yes, it's another podcast you host with Sharna Burgess and
Randy Spelling.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Any Spelling Toy's younger brother.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, getting older is a journey, isn't it. Why do
you want to do a podcast to talk about life
at in your stage of life?

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Because well, what else am I going to talk about?
I'm not going to talk about like the younger stuff
because that's not I don't really I have five kids.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yes, I don't relate to that anymore.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
And it honestly started because Randy's been a professional life coach, yeah,
for seventeen plus years. Like he lives in Portland, he's married,
has two kids. He lives very like off the grid
that way, like they're not they're not really watching TV,
they're not using devices.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
It's it's really cool.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
So I saw him posting all the time on Instagram.
And I used to do love lines in Los Angeles
on the radio on camera, and I used to have
so much fun doing that. And I love the fact
that you had Adam Carolla who was out of his
fucking mind, and then you had doctor True who had
real information. Yes, And I was like, God, that's such

(11:16):
a great blend. And I wish because the country is
so right or left, but it's just it couldn't be
more separated than it is right now. I felt like
it'd be so great to have something that doesn't cross
into that at all, that just like isn't formative. I
love that that's fun for people to listen to. There's

(11:38):
the nostalgia from us being up, from myself being on
the show, and now you know I have I'm doing
it with Sharna, who's the love of my life.

Speaker 4 (11:47):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
So it it started as this, like, oh, it'll be
a really fun thing, and then the more we did it,
we changed the catchphrase of our show this year from
age old problems meet New age solutions, and now we
changed it to the more you know, the less you care.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
And it was like and it was like, yeah it
makes sense. Yeah, great, that's great, And so we just we.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Really have like we bring in guests and we really
go hard in the paint people, like we really let's
get into some talk like okay, we'll kind of cover
the simple stuff that people want to hear, but then
let's really and we make them discussions like they're not
sit down interviews where we have just a bunch of quests,
like we have questions that kind of give us a direction,

(12:34):
but then it's like, oh no, all four of us
or three of us, or whoever is in the room,
we have this discussion where it's like we hear stories
and we go.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Oh my god, that reminds me of the time when.

Speaker 4 (12:46):
I was doing and it can just go wherever it's
going to go.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
It kind of goes wherever it goes.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
But then it becomes something where people that are listening
or watching, they feel like they're a part of a conversation.
They're a fly on a wall in something compared to
just to sit down. Because people do sit down interviews.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
All the time.

Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yes they do, Yes, they do all the time.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
And you answer this, you end up answering the same
question all the time, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
So it's so nice to get into conversations where it's
like totally. It's oh, let's.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Share our passion for things, right, share these these situations
that are really so similar.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Right, we've lived You and I have lived completely different lives,
but they're so similar because we are now in a
public space and we're navigating that and it's a changing
world constantly, constantly.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
Yeah, but it's nice to have.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
It's nice to have that experience where you can talk
as people. Right, you're not a actor, I'm not a journalist, Like,
let's just be people. And I try to do that
here too, on Off the Cup, because the whole guiding
principle of Off the Cup is to create a space
where mental health can naturally come up.

Speaker 4 (13:55):
It's not the focus.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
I don't sit down and say, so, let's talk about
your mental health, right, Sure, it's having a normal comversation
the way you would with someone, and you'll cover maybe
a challenge or a dark time or a you know,
rough patch, and maybe.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
You talk how you got out of that, and talking.

Speaker 3 (14:11):
Like that and normalizing a conversation about mental health, well,
it so does, and it takes the stigma away from it,
it ends the silence. So I feel a greater purpose
for sure in this podcast too, and that was important
to me. I didn't want to sit down and just
do a political interview.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Because you do that all the time.

Speaker 4 (14:30):
Yes, So I love what you're doing at Oldish.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
It's great, and I think there's such an interest in
talking about this stage of life that we're in, like
whether it's parenthood or fucking perimenopause, don't even get me started,
or you know, the stage in our career that we
are that we are in, right, we're not in our
twenties hungry, but we're not retiring.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Like I think there's some responsibilities I have, like kids,
Like I have a whole my life is completely different
than it was to and I'm a whole different person,
different person. Yes, I'm looking at my future in a
new way. I'm looking at the life that I live
in a new way.

Speaker 4 (15:08):
I've learned so much. Yeah, it's it's a very.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
It's really interesting. It's it's a really cool age.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
And I love that we're sort of talking about the
stuff that is happening to us at this age and
there's an audience for that because a lot of people
are trying to navigate all the same shit we are,
you know.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
So it's I think it's amazing too when people can
do it in an authentic way. Yes, well you have
to be authentic, like it in a very like we
get very fucking raw and real on that show. I
love that and and not just with the guests, like
for me to go, I so relate to that and
here's why, and to dig into it on my own

(15:45):
ship because I I really learned four or five years
ago that for me to be relatable and for people
to relate to me, I have to show the human side.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Have to get everything you have to get to give. Yeah, totally,
like you cannot.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
You cannot have a guard up and be like I'm
just going to give this, but I'm not gonna like
you have to don't fucking do it.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
Don'n't do it. Just don't do it. There's no point.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
There's no point at all.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Sit in your living room, watch episodes of Seinfeld when
they come on. You know what I'm saying, I do
and then and then and then like spend the you know,
spend the mornings with your kids before they go to school.

Speaker 4 (16:24):
Yes, yes, you're totally right.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
There's no point if you're not going to be real
and raw and honest.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah, I want to know what you were like as
a kid. What kind of kid were you?

Speaker 1 (16:47):
I was extremely hyper, okay, I was extremely small.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
Small in stature.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
I was like I was like five four for years
when we did the first season of the show. Yeah,
so tiny.

Speaker 4 (17:02):
When did you shoot up?

Speaker 2 (17:03):
I was between seven.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
Shoot up in size, not drugs.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
When did you so?

Speaker 1 (17:12):
I it was between like seventeen and eighteen, okay, I
was a really late bloomer.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
And we did the first season of the show, and
Iron Zering, one of the guys who's on the show
with me, used to pick me up by my neck
because I was like this little and I'd hold his
arms picked me up and it was like this joke thing.
And season two we came back to work and I
was six.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
Feet Oh my god, I remember that.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah, I remember.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
Yeah, that's funny.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (17:40):
And you were you were younger than most of yours.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
I'm the youngest on the cast.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
You were the youngest.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Yes, yep. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Were your friends your castmates? Were they protective? Were they
bad influences?

Speaker 2 (17:55):
They were?

Speaker 1 (17:56):
They were both tell me so they were. So they
were fantastic.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
They were. We had a really.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Unique, amazing cast there because we were all going through
something that nobody but us understood. There was like new
kids on the block were massive. Our show was massive,
so it was like we took over for them, which
was so surreal. It was the whole for me, being

(18:23):
my age, the whole thing all tenure was was so surreal,
Like I wish now I could travel the places that
I did then because I would appreciate those things now right.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Compared to then.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
I was like, Oh, everybody at seventeen is you know,
doing all this shit go to Japan to side right,
isn't this what everyone does in life?

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Like, oh, I I love my twenties.

Speaker 4 (18:45):
Did you get to go to high school? I.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
For the most part, I went to high school.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
Was it like you had a normal high school experienced?

Speaker 1 (18:53):
I mean we it wasn't until my senior year that
we started doing that on two and no.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
So acting the most in high school.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
I was mostly in high school. I did a lot
of set school when I was working on things. Yeah,
but you know it wasn't None of it was as
steady as nine or two one oh.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
None of it was a ten year run.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
So I'd do I would do days here and there,
and I'd get my work from school, and I'd have
to do three hours a day set school, which does
not breed intelligence. No, not for the most part. There
are certain people like Danica mckellary who came out.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
And she's a math coetian.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
My mind is a fucking you know, neuro and scientist
and shit like that.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
And then there's me people. Then there was me that
was like, wait, places on the map.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
I don't know continents, but I don't know what's the
difference between the continent and the country.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
I don't understand. So so yeah, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
It doesn't breed smart Okay, but uh yeah, I started
acting when I was nine.

Speaker 3 (19:53):
Yeah, yeah, then was it was it? Your parents no
wanted to do it?

Speaker 1 (19:58):
So my dad is a drummer, my mom is a housewife.
I was going to school all performing arts schools for
music when I was a kid because I played the drums,
which there's yeah, I'm said right there right off the
off set. And I was going to a school on
the USC campus. It was an elementary school, and student

(20:20):
directors from USC would come and pick kids for their
like graduate.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Films for the project.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
So I ended up doing like three of those, and
it was super fun because it's you spend a weekend
doing it, and it was like, God, I normally all
I do every day is the sun comes up, I
leave the house.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
I skate until the sun's coming down, and my dad.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Whistles and then it's like, oh shit, I better get
it now, or he's you know, or it's I'm going
to hear about it. So all of a sudden, it
was something new to do on weekends and I really
had fun doing it. And a kid that I rode
the bus to school with was an actor. He had
an agent, he was doing commercials. He was making money.

(21:00):
He had like all the crazy like pong games and
all the like really bad graphic gay you know, handheld
games like great, you know, your car racing but it's
like blocks coming down and so you're just moving the
car from left to right and there were like three slots.
You know, it wasn't it was pretty rudimentary, but it
was at the time it was amazing.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
So we had all this stuff and I was like,
are you rich, Like how ya? How do you have
all this stuff?

Speaker 1 (21:27):
And he told me he was like, oh, I do
commercials and my parents gave me a percentage of it.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
I was like I want to do that. That's amazing.
I'll absolutely take that time.

Speaker 4 (21:36):
Amazing.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
So I told my parents and they were like, if
in six months, you still want to do it, because
they knew they were smart enough to realize how much
it was going to take for them. Yeah, too, You're
gonna have to drive me to auditions. We're gonna have
to do headshots, they're gonna have to you know, acting classes,
all the stuff, and it was going to take up

(21:57):
It was a it's a full time job, preparent and
six months later, I still wanted to do it, not
realizing how much was going to go into it, And
I went and met with my friend's agent and they
signed me for commercials and theatrical work.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
I booked nothing for the first year.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
For the first year nothing.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
I had no idea what I was doing.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
I didn't understand the concept of, oh, these people are
going to pay me, so I have to do what
it is they want me to do.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
I was just young. Yeah, I was like, this.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Is amazing, Like sign in and go in the room
and like, hey, everybody, how you guys doing. And they'd asked,
you know, ask for certain things, and I was like, oh,
I'll do them. But it's all about this, right, It's
all about like just me being this like funny kid.
And then I booked my first commercial and it was
it was a bank commercial and it never aired, but

(22:53):
something clicked for me when I booked it. And then
I went and I shot it of like, oh, I'm
here to do a job.

Speaker 4 (23:02):
It's a job.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, Like I'm a kid, but they're paying me to
do something specific.

Speaker 4 (23:08):
It's adults.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
Adults are paying you, right, adults, they do not give
a shit. Yeah, like I would rather be skating right right,
you know, right right.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
And then from that point on, I booked literally everything
that I went in.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, I did probably seventy five commercials as a kid.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
I did.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
I started doing a show called Knots Landing when I
was about ten and a half, right, and then music
just kind of had to I had to start compartmentalizing everything.
And it was like, okay, music, even though I've been
studying it my whole life, this is taking up all
of my time.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
Do you have any regrets?

Speaker 2 (23:46):
No about that. I have no regrets. Yeah, I don't. Now.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
When I was younger, I did, of course, because it
was like, oh but my you know, I'm missing such
a big part of my passion and all that. Now
looking back on it, I'm a big I'm a big
believer in the fact that I have learned way more
from my failures than I have for my successes. My successes.

(24:13):
It's what's the old saying, if it ain't broke, don't
fix it.

Speaker 4 (24:15):
Right.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
So if it works, you just fucking keep doing it,
keep going right, just keep going. It's the things that
didn't work, yes, where I've had to sit down and go, Okay,
why didn't that work?

Speaker 2 (24:25):
What do I have to do differently next time?

Speaker 4 (24:27):
Self examination?

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Self examination?

Speaker 4 (24:30):
Yeah, and it's a bitch, It can be a real bit.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
It's a bitch.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
But the end it's I always say, the road less
traveled is called that for a reason. It's less traveled
because it's a it's hard fucking road to go on.
But the end of that road is so much more
rewarding totally than the average road, and we'll just skate along.

Speaker 3 (24:51):
It's so true, and sometimes so like I had a
mental breakdown, total nervous breakdown at forty at forty and
I it coincided with a lot of things, but and
I suffered from anxiety, but.

Speaker 4 (25:05):
My twenties and thirties.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
My career was on an upward trajectory the entire time.
Right there were and I hustled, I was there were
no lows. I worked my ass off and I kept
moving up, up, up up.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
Then I plateau and not in the way that like,
you know, not in the way.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
That like, well, I've made it to the top of
the mountain, I'm just gonna sit here.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
No, like like no, there's more yeah, yeah, and I'm
not getting there correct. It's like it's like having a
gym membership and you're like, no matter what I fucking knew,
I can't lose.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
No changes pounds exactly what it is. And it really,
it really messed with my head because I had no
tools to adapt or because I had been up, up, up,
up right and not self examining and not checking with
my mental health and just living anxiously not knowing.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
You were succeeding. Why would sing? Why would you check?

Speaker 1 (25:59):
You had nothing to check in with exactly right, like
and broke fucking why fix it?

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Missed?

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (26:05):
Yeah, And in the beginning when I started like therapy,
and I really was angry that this happened to me.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
And then I'm having to do this.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
I'm having to self examine and I'm having to and
now that I'm like.

Speaker 4 (26:20):
Five years in, I have such a different attitude about it.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
I was not a whole person before I started looking
at myself and asking myself, Am I.

Speaker 4 (26:28):
Doing these things for the right reasons?

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Right?

Speaker 4 (26:31):
Am I enjoying these things?

Speaker 3 (26:32):
What about the rest of me outside of work? Does
is the is there a person there? And like, finding
an identity outside of my work was hard.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Cats and catalysts come in crazy packages and it's like
and they hit you fucking hard something.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
So I had a neurological breakdown.

Speaker 4 (26:53):
Yeah, tell me about because I've read about, But tell
me about what did you know this first?

Speaker 1 (26:58):
So, so, the first thing that I was noticing in
my thirties was ulsterrative colitis. Came out of nowhere, like
thirty five years old, really bad. And I went to
a doctor, a GI doctor who was amazing. He's like
top of his field. He's at Cedars in Los Angeles,

(27:20):
and he did the camera with all the stuff and
he was like, Oh, you've got the sores of someone
that's had colitis for like seven years. Oh my god.
I was like, no, I've had it for like seven days,
so it doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Do you know why he couldn't figure it out. It's like,
it doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
So we started looking at my diet and things, and
I was like, okay, I'll stop with the dairy, like
I'll do the you know, I'll stop the things that
I think might have triggered it. But I would have it.
Most people that have colitis they get it like monthly,
Like these flare ups are constant. I was getting them
like once a year.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
It's very odd.

Speaker 4 (27:57):
It was very strange.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
So then all of a sudd I was doing anger
management with Charlie Sheen, who is the nicest guy.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
In the world by the way, let me just throw
that throw that in.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
And I woke up one morning I was supposed to
be at work and I had really bad vertigo. So
for the first time, my first time ever in my life.
So I text the producer and I said, hey, I'm like,
I'm feeling terrible, Like, I'll text you later on the
day if it feels better, and we'll figure it out

(28:29):
later on the day. I was like, nope, it's like
I don't know, so let me just text you tomorrow,
and he was like, no problem, we'll get the day done.
It'll be fine, Thank God. Like the schedule and the
way that show worked, it was fantastic.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
They were great.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Next morning, Nope, still had it and twenty four hours
a day like it wasn't it was.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
The only time I didn't was when my head was
on the pillow and I was laying God, as soon
as I sat up, it would spin like ferociously. I'd
get incredibly nauseous. Sure, I threw up probably fifteen times
a day. I mean that's that's.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Oh my God for you.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
No.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
No, but like so.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
It was horrible. And for three months I had him,
No three months.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
In that time, that three month time where you felt horrible. Yeah,
did you get depressed for sure?

Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah? Terrified? Yeah, Because there was no diagnosis.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
It was like I don't know, yeah, you know, I
didn't know, like, oh my god, did I eat something weird?

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Like what why is this happening?

Speaker 1 (29:33):
And I was seeing a guy at Kech Institute at
that point that was like a specialist in vertigo and
all of that treatment, and he was like he did
all the positions, all the stuff, nothing helped, And he
was like, I don't know what is going on with you.
All of a sudden one day that stopped out of nowhere.

(29:54):
So I go back to and your management. They had
kind of they the way the show, oh shot was.
They shot it like it was a live audience show,
but it wasn't. It was all just sort of can
laughter and whatever. And we would do two episodes a week.
We would do one Monday Tuesday, first half a Wednesday,
then the second half a Wednesday. Thursday Friday was the

(30:14):
second one. So they saved up all my stuff. So
I got to set and it was like, oh, we
have three weeks of just you know, tons of your stuff.

Speaker 4 (30:24):
Hammered it out.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah, hammered it out. Everything was great. So we finished
the show. We had a series series finale.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
End of that year.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
I start noticing little weird things, like, so, I'm an
avid driver. I loved I loved driving, and I was
like oversteering and hitting curves and weird things.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I was like, what else is scarying on? Scary? Then
I start noticing that I'm slurring words here and there. Oh,
and how old are you? I was in my forties, and.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
I didn't know what was going on, and I was
working out with this guy, Harley Pasternak at the time,
this amazing trainer. It brings a lot of people, and
so I said to him. I was like, dude, I
don't know what's going on, man, but like I've been
noticing I'm slurring words here and there. And he was like, oh, no,
I haven't noticed anything. You seem fine.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
So we kept working out.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
We finished the workout, and at the end of it,
he goes, so, I've heard you slur a couple.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
Words, and right away alarm bells go off.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
I was like, oh my god, what's going on. So
I go to a neurologist at CEDARS.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
He was like, I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
I think you might have like a virus or something.
You probably picked it up a couple months.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
It should be okay.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
It's a virus that you know, kind of attacked maybe
the frontal cortex, so it's you know, so it affects
those things or my ALM will know which part of
the brain was was effective. I'm sure she's hearing this
and she he's like, that's stupid wrong. Jesus Christ fucking
set school.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Here we go. It's exactly what you were talking about.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
So so I was like, okay, so that was at
least something positive, where I was like, okay, it sucks
right now, but there's an deal with this, there's an
end to it, like it's you know, it's all right.
And it just progressively got worse and worse. I was
slurring more, my speech started to go, my equilibrium started

(32:27):
to go, my ability to like straighten limbs and like
it all started just rapidly declining.

Speaker 4 (32:34):
So does your kids notice?

Speaker 1 (32:36):
So I only had Noah was born, and then body
was young, was really young, so it was he was
way too young to notice at that time. But my
twenty three, my now twenty three year old, he noticed
for sure.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
So then I.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Started it started just rapidly going, and it got to
the point where I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk, I
couldn't read, I couldn't write. I was in physical therapy,
speech therapy, everything at cedar Cy and I three days
a week and I had to rehabit like I had

(33:14):
a stroke, even though I didn't have a stroke.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
And it took four and a half years.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
Did they ever tell you what happened?

Speaker 2 (33:22):
No diagnosis.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
So then I find a natural doctor in the valley
who he does kinesiology, the study of like, you know
what you're allergic to based on muscle movement and everything,
and he's testing me and he tells me, He's like,
you're one of the most toxic people I've ever had
in my office, heavy metals, all sorts of things. So

(33:44):
it turns out I had tons of internal inflammation from
diet my whole life, but because it was internal, I
had no idea that it was there. I'd always been
physically active, I had always done stuff. And then the
other biggest part of it was emotional m M.

Speaker 4 (34:01):
I was like, okay, so I need to your body
was telling you something.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
I need to fucking hit therapy. Yep, hard I like,
and I know, I know what my things are like.
I know growing up in my household, my parents did
the best they knew how to do, obviously, but we
didn't have healthy debate around the dinner table, but we

(34:25):
you know, they weren't open, like, hey, what are your
thoughts on that? Oh my god, that's amazing and supportive
because they didn't under to them. They learned these lessons
in life, and then that's the fucking way that you do.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
It to teach your kids. You do it this way.
That other way. That's the fun, that's the dumb one.
This is the way that is the most productive. This
is what.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
So then it built this part of me where if
anybody disagreed with me, I could feel my blood boil
and my heart racing, and I had major anxiety because
I was like, oh my god, I'm not I know
what my opinion is, but I'm not used to saying
my opinion without it being shut down right away. So

(35:06):
it became like I've got to throw this fucking grenade
in the room of what my opinion is, and then
I've got to get out, and it doesn't matter what
is left. But that leaves you in this perpetual state
of like fighter flight totally. I was in that all
the time. Most people are in it when your body
needs it. I was in it probably ninety five percent.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Of the time. Me too. I understand it breaks down
your body.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
It's exhausting, it's exhausting, but it then you remove the
capability of your body to fight other things, right because
it's so busy fighting itself totally the time.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
So my doctor said this could kill you because being
in a state of fighter flight with the adrenaline coursing
through you at all time.

Speaker 4 (35:51):
That's not normal. That's not natural, that is not healthy.
That's how you have a heart attack.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
That's how I mean.

Speaker 4 (35:57):
Yeah, that's real.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
It is absolutely real.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
It's real, but it's it comes from such a programmed,
simple place that you don't even necessarily realize exists at
the time.

Speaker 4 (36:11):
It's so obvious that you cannot see it now.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
I remember when they told me about it. I was like,
what are you talking about. I'm happy all the time,
and I was. I was always like, really easy going
with people, and I was always a people pleaser. But
it was costing me so much to be that way
because I wasn't being that way in a healthy way.
I still am that way naturally, but not at the

(36:34):
expense of my own health and my own emotional and
mental well being.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
So I had to learn that, and I found a
great therapist that gave me these tools that allowed me
to in a healthy way listen, like truly listen to
people and not feel intimidated or judged for difference of opinion.
But instead I learned to love it.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
I love having political conversations with people that do that.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
I do not see.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
Eye to eye with and going listen, I don't understand
your views at all at all, but I so desperately
want to please explain.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Them to me.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
And as soon as you do that, then everybody else
their walls come down and they they're not afraid of
being judged, and then they get into these conversations and
then you get into your views and all of a
sudden they're open to listening. And most of the time
you finish those conversations with people going, I fucking love you.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
This is such a great conversation.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
I'm so happy we had this, and it completely changes
their views of things. Yeah, and I've had I've had
those on social media, which I like, I had to
learn how to navigate that because now I'm turning fifty
two this year, so it's like, I that is German
to me, Like I social media is crazy. So I

(37:57):
had you know, I would have my twenty three year
old is gay, and I would have people that would
say something, you know, something stupid and kind of in
passing of like, oh, that's so gay, why would you
do that?

Speaker 2 (38:07):
And I was like, WHOA hold on a second.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
We would have these conversations and I had this one
woman who was telling me then that her child is
autistic and she's constantly having to protect him from people outside.
And I was like, okay, so then how do you
think this is for? Like would you ever speak this
way and affect your son? And as soon as I

(38:31):
put it in those terms, she was like, no, never.
And I said, that's I have a gay child. Like
that is not that. That is not a word that
is in my vocabulary anymore, and it shouldn't be in
yours anymore. We now live in twenty twenty two or
whatever year it was when we were talking about it,

(38:51):
and I said, that is not this is a new time,
and like you need to think responsible or need to
think bigger than you do not. Yeah, and you have
you have a reason to you should understand it.

Speaker 4 (39:06):
Yes, you have a connection to this.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
Yeah, total you like you would die for your child.
Guess what?

Speaker 1 (39:12):
There are a million fucking children and people dealing with
their own shit that is just as important as that.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
You need to treat it as such, Like you need.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
To have a better blanket view of the fucking world
around you. You need to open your eyes a little
bit and instead of being in your little bubble and
thinking like that's the world. It's like, No, the world
is this massive place. You need to live within that
space instead of this one.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
So how did all of this impact the way you parent?
You know, coming from the way you believe you were parented,
right you EXPERI as a kid?

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Yeah, going through what.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
You went through, did it change how you look at
parenting and how.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
You're sure it did?

Speaker 1 (40:07):
It's raising good moral people has always been high on
the list for me, but it really put me in
a place of I want to teach my kids these
tools that I've learned, like I really want to. I
want to prop them up and tell them and show

(40:29):
them how special they are for their beliefs and their things,
And I don't want them to feel like what I
know is the best at I say I'm sorry to
them whenever I do anything, because I don't want them
to put me on a pedestal or think that I'm
some superhuman right that they live underneath and they'll never

(40:50):
be able to live up to me. It's like, I
want them to know we're on an even playing field.
I've been doing this longer, so I've learned lot more
along the way. But I absolutely want you all to
learn as well, like, I don't want to keep somebody
from traveling on their path and having their life experience

(41:14):
the way they do. And I think that we rob
people of that when we try and fix everything right.
And it's not my job to fix everything. It's not
my job to be their their best friend, because they're
gonna have a shit ton of friends and best friends
throughout their life, but they're only gonna have one father, yeah,
and one mother.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
So it's like, that's that's my job.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
I like, And sometimes I'm going to say things that
you don't want to hear, and I'm gonna have opinions
that you're not gonna agree with, Like that's but like
if we do it in a healthy way, and I
and I do it in a loving way and I'm
always supportive, then that's I'm gonna do it way better
than the fucking world you're gonna walk out out to

(41:59):
once you're you know, you move out of the house.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
Yeah, And we talk about this a lot on off
the cup, modeling your protection of your mental health to
your kids, showing them how to be imperfect. Mom doesn't
have all the answers, yeah, Mom. Mom sometimes has struggles
and she asks for help importantly, you will have struggles.

(42:23):
You can ask for help, you can talk openly.

Speaker 4 (42:25):
Mom is not perfect. It's so important.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
It's so important.

Speaker 4 (42:29):
We feel this pressure when we first become parents.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
How many kids do you have?

Speaker 4 (42:33):
Just the one?

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Just the one?

Speaker 4 (42:34):
You have five?

Speaker 3 (42:35):
I know, right, I have just the one. But you know,
I was a hyper ambitious person. I wanted to raise
not a perfect child, but you know, I put all
myself into it.

Speaker 4 (42:45):
Sure, and my child's also on the spectrum.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
And I had this anxiety and I had this nervous
breakdown and I felt like I was letting him down
when I felt like I had just become imperfect. Suddenly
was always imperfect, but in my mind, I had just
become imperfect when I had this bringown. So it was
really important when my therapist told me, like, this is

(43:10):
so much better for your son to see in age
appropriate ways, to see you being imperfect, yes, and not
having it all figured out. That will resonate so much
more and build him in such a way, give him
so much many more tools then if you just saw impervious.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Mom, I have days, you know, you have days that
are just overwhelming, and it's like God, like I just
have no patience today, Like I know, I'm snap, I'm snapping,
I'm doing all those things. But I think if you
then approach at the end of that day and you go,
I had such a terrible day.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
It had nothing to do with you, right anything, And
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
I'm so sorry if I snapped at you, and I was,
But I'm going to have more of these days just
like you are, So we're going to get through these together.
And then one of the things, one of the other
things I learned having five kids is they're all boys, right,
all boys. I've raised them all the same and they
could not be more different. So you realize that they

(44:15):
are the people that they are when they come out.
Like there's always that hope as a parent of like,
oh my god, you know, I hope he loves music
the same way that I do. I hope that, but
that's not if they do. They do on their own.
It's not something you can push. I genuinely feel like
my job as a parent is to make them morally

(44:38):
good people.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
So I don't care what it is you do.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
I don't care if you are a drummer or you know,
you're a studio technician. Just be a good fucking person
while you're doing it simple because you're going to be
an adult in the world. And I you know, and
my legacy is not the stuff that I've done, the
things that are on your paper, the questions, your ass.
My legacy is going to be the person that I

(45:03):
was to them, the grandfather that I was. That's the stuff.
The friend that I was to people. That's what people
are going to remember. Yeah, oh, and that's.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Super important to me.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
You're so wise.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
I'm not wise like this is.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
I'm standing on the back and the shoulders of many people.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
This is just all stuff that I've learned along the way.
I love it.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
I have so much in here, but I don't care
because this is the This is the good stuff. This
is the good stuff. And this sort of dovetails. I
know people want to ask you about your relationships a lot.
I'm less interested in that to be to be honest, okay,
you know it's a little gossipy, but but I do
want to know.

Speaker 4 (45:42):
And this kind of goes back to something we're talking about.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
I want to know at your age, when you look back,
how you think about your love life. Do you look
back with regrets, do you look back with that was
that was all learning. Do you look back like, man,
I could have been better here, or how do you
look back?

Speaker 1 (46:06):
For sure, I looking back on your life, you can
always look back and think I could have done that better.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Hindsight is twenty twenty.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
Yeah, I look back on all this stuff and I
called that was just the dumbest What was I thinking?

Speaker 2 (46:21):
You know? What was I doing?

Speaker 1 (46:24):
But no, I wouldn't change any of it because all
of it has led me to what I have now
and who I am now. And I absolutely love myself,
not in like a narcissistant, yeah, sick way, but I
couldn't be I couldn't feel more comfortable in my skin.

(46:46):
I couldn't be in a better relationship. My fiance is
just amazing. She's such an amazing step mom to the kids.
She's such an amazing mother. So it took these stumbles
and dumb things to do that. Yeah, yeah, it's you know,

(47:07):
you don't it's it's rare unless you have a perfect
family where it's like your mom and dad are still
married and things are great, and you've got this example
in front of you of like, oh, this is the
healthy way that it's supposed to happen, right, then you
move usually into a healthy thing to start.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
My parents are still together. They have an amazing relationship now,
but they were learning and growing as I was younger,
and so they made mistakes and I saw those mistakes,
and so then it made me kind of go out
into the world and go I want the opposite of that.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
Yeah, it's like, okay, well that's the opposite is you know,
that's a tough jungle that you're choosing to be in.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Yeah, and.

Speaker 4 (47:52):
Yeah, yeah, well I like that.

Speaker 3 (47:53):
I always I'm always curious about how people look back
at the totality of something, the totality of their career,
the totality of the relationships they are interpersonal relationships.

Speaker 4 (48:01):
I just think it's it's such an insight.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
We have this really cool thing too.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
Like, like I said before, I'm turning fifty two this year,
and for me, I like some people go through midlife
crisis and.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
All of that. Yeah, I so don't like.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
I I love the concept of this is the second
act of my life because if I look at the
first act, I had a long fucking life.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
I did a lot of it, did a lot. Yeah,
from like.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Being an infant all through school all through my twenties,
like finding myself, making mistakes, doing shit. So now I
get to start this second act from who I am
now forward.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
But how did you get to a place where you
could embrace that? Because that's a scary place for a
lot of people to be.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Which is what leads to the life of what choice do?
I ask?

Speaker 4 (48:52):
Sure?

Speaker 3 (48:53):
But you're looking at it so intentionally and saying my
intention is to embrace this.

Speaker 4 (48:58):
And be excited about it.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
Led me to this. It's so great that life has
led me to this, Like I took.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
It took four and a half years for me to
confidently walk and talk again.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
So if I can live through.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
That, yeah, all the rest of the ship right, it's
all they're tiny little things.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
They're simple on a scale of one to ten, one
being never, ten being daily. How often do you think
about your mortality?

Speaker 2 (49:25):
I one, you don't. I don't.

Speaker 4 (49:29):
What's that like? Sounds amazing? I'm jealous? What is that like?

Speaker 2 (49:37):
It's you don't have any control over it?

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Yes, I've I've really realized in life that the only
thing I have control over is who I choose to be.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
Today while living life. Right, life does this?

Speaker 1 (49:54):
Yes, it's gonna do this for the rest of your life.
Who do you want to be during all of it?
Do you want to be somebody that like rises when
it's during the fucking highs and then hits the really
low lows when it's Or do you want to be
someone that is, like, I'm going to in a healthy
way deal with this if something is really hard or

(50:16):
I'm really sad about it. It's fine to be sad, yeah,
for sure, but that doesn't mean sad to the point
of cutting everybody else out and not listening, like not
you know, being conscious in what in the choices that
you're making every day and being the best person you can.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
It's just a choice.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Like, it's not you're not either bred better than someone
or worse than someone.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
It's all just a choice.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
You're either going to choose every single day to wake
up and go okay and every situation.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
Who do I want to be in this moment?

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Do I want to be somebody that like is goes
flies off the fucking hook rightly? Or do I want
to sit back and take a breath and go okay,
Like my nature is to react this way, but that
is not the best choice right now, and I do
I do it all the time, you know when when
people say that your first instinct when someone says something

(51:14):
shitty about you is you want to defend yourself. Yes,
you want to like say whatever you need to say
to clear your name. But is that the best thing
to do at times? And if it's not on social media?
If not, then don't fucking do it?

Speaker 4 (51:29):
Yeah, right right?

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Because people forget about this this shit that other people say,
you leave it alone.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
It goes away in a day.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
You know, the world now they they they forget in
thirty fucking minutes because a new story is out that
takes total, huge precedence over somebody saying you were nasty
at something, yeah, you know, or or you cheated them
out of ten dollars on a thing like fucking cares?

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Yeah, who cares?

Speaker 4 (51:57):
I mean, that's good advice for everyone. But yeah, but
that's not easy. It's not easy.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Monks live on the top of a fucking hill because
they literally can't have people around them.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
They're like, I need to live all by myself.

Speaker 4 (52:10):
The only way I can do that, Yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
Scrub floors and do whatever I have to do to
like stay focused. So it's not easy, but everybody is like, oh,
monks are like these magical people that you know are
able to live on It's.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Like, no, no, they're not.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
They just make the choice to do that, to fucking
live that way. It's not like in their DNA right right,
They're not you know, more special that.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
They're just making higher level choices. Yeah, that's all.

Speaker 4 (52:39):
So what do you think happens when we die? I
have no idea and that's okay.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
It's it has to be like what choice do I have?
I have no idea and I'm going to die. Yes,
it's going to happen.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
It's absolutely gonna but it's happened before because so I
believe in rebirth. I belie leave in okay, you know,
living multiple lives and having different experiences and your spirit
and your soul kind of learning and growing as it
goes until it gets to a lifetime where it's like, okay,
I've like I'm done here now I'm going to go

(53:17):
when I die, I'm going to go do who fucking knows.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
That's the premise of Have you seen a movie called
Defending Your Life? No, Albert Brooks and Meryl Street. Really
this is the prime. It's a comedy, but this is
the premise that that you keep getting sent back to
Earth to learn and it's a new life and you've
learned that, and then when you're finally done, then you
move on. And I think that's a concept that is
both very comforting, right, but it also kind of makes sense,

(53:44):
like it would make.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
Sense why you meet You meet old souls all the
time exactly, and then don't you also meet people that
are obviously young literally just cannot fucking get into another
They can't like you, you spend two hours talking to
him about something and they're like, so I really just
need to like borrow fifteen hundred bucks, you know, because

(54:06):
and you're like, wow, none of that's soaked in at all.

Speaker 4 (54:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Those are the people that it's like, okay, you know,
the next time, like it's you know, when they fucking
call it quits and things go wrong, it's like you'll
be back in like, you know, thirty days.

Speaker 4 (54:20):
That's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
And then you've got the old souls where you go, oh,
you've been here before, you've been you've been doing this.

Speaker 4 (54:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Our Sean and I are our baby who's a couple
months away from three, which is cool. It's crazy how
fast it happens. Yeah. He at the point when he
was born, I was holding him and he was looking
around the room like I've been here before.

Speaker 2 (54:45):
Stop it.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
You're not not like crying, not like oh my god,
where am I What's going on? He just had that
thing of like.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
I'm here again.

Speaker 4 (54:54):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
He had that look in his eye. And he he
is incredibly He wants.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
To do everything on his own. He hates being a baby.
You can tell, Oh my god, he hates it. Everything
is like I can do it, I want to do it.
And you know, it's like stepstools and climb on the
things and pour the stuff and do like it's he
wants to do all of.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
It because he hates it.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
When you do it for him, you can tell he's
uncomfortable in being in being a baby and dependent.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
Yeah, yeah, he hates it.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
That's fascinating.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
I wish that I didn't have to keep changing his
diaper and wiping his ass Like I wish he had more,
you know, sival.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Yeah, I wish. I wish he was like, oh, let
me fix this.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
Also, like body training doesn't seem that hard in the
grand scheme of things. Sit on a fucking fake toilet
and figure this ship out because I'm tired of wiping
your ass.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
But you know, all the rest of it. He wants
to do all of it.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
Oh that's great.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Yeah, I want to end with the Lightning Round and these.

Speaker 4 (56:08):
Are fun and fast and okay, let's do it easy. Okay,
let's go. What is your love language?

Speaker 2 (56:19):
My love language is acts of service.

Speaker 4 (56:22):
Okay, yep, this is a quiz. What was the fictional name?

Speaker 2 (56:27):
So fast we've moved on from the Lightning Round. Okay,
this is the Lightning round.

Speaker 4 (56:31):
Inside the Lightning Round.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
What was the fictional name of the record producer for
Icon Records who wanted to produce David's album?

Speaker 2 (56:38):
Oh my god, Zach No fantastic surge? Right? Was it
really so close to surge? Tankian?

Speaker 4 (56:49):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (56:50):
There you go there, just to move it down.

Speaker 4 (56:52):
Do you still talk to Douglas Emerson?

Speaker 2 (56:54):
I do, yeah, for people you don't know.

Speaker 4 (56:56):
He played Scott's friend. He was sort of nerdy. You
kind of moved on.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
From him and shot himself accentally memorable.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
Yeah, and so Doug. Doug joined the Navy after the show.
He served for years and he he lives at home
with his wife and his kids.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
And he's a fantastic human being.

Speaker 4 (57:18):
I love that. What was your least favorite episode?

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Oh my god, all of them? Stop. I So I
was so that's okay.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Yeah, I've talked about it a million times. I was
so fucking insecure, and I was. I did the show
from seventeen to twenty seven, so it was like the
most formidable years of my life. And I hated the
fact that so many people were watching it. So I
was just like, I didn't want to look at anybody
in the eye because you.

Speaker 4 (57:49):
Were in a microscope.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (57:51):
Yeah, that's I.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
Was going through the hardest fucking time of your life
with you know, one hundred and ninety countries watching our show. Yeah,
and like sleeping on our pillowcases and shadow.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
I don't want anything to do with any of this.

Speaker 4 (58:04):
Yeah, okay. What's your favorite movie?

Speaker 2 (58:09):
Jaws?

Speaker 1 (58:10):
Oh my god?

Speaker 4 (58:11):
My husband, who's here?

Speaker 2 (58:12):
You met him?

Speaker 4 (58:12):
That's his too?

Speaker 2 (58:13):
Is it really? Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (58:16):
Okay. What was your best vacation?

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Uh, I've been to Australia a few times now, and
I think that is spot. I that's my spot, and
uh Kona is my spot? Oh yeah, the Fort Jwalai
and ConA, Oh my God.

Speaker 4 (58:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
I go there with the kids and it's like, I
do you.

Speaker 4 (58:36):
Like a vista?

Speaker 2 (58:37):
I do? Yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:38):
What's your favorite restaurant?

Speaker 1 (58:40):
My favorite restaurant is it's a sushi place, awesin Abo.
It's on Ventura Bolivar, Okay and Laurel Canyon. It's in
this tiny little strip mall and it's the best Japanese food.

Speaker 4 (58:55):
Sushi is like I mean, not always.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
But Ventura Boulevard, yeah, crazy enough has some of the
best sushi in the country.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
So say that, I don't know why. Austin Abo, Okay,
that's where I'm going.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
It'll it'll literally be one of the best meals you've
ever eaten. I've sent people there that are like foodies
and they're like, oh my god, that place. They go
there all the time.

Speaker 3 (59:17):
Now restaurants are my thing, So okay, I'm gonna go.
H The last question is the most important to me
spiritually and culturally.

Speaker 4 (59:27):
When is it iced coffee season?

Speaker 2 (59:31):
For me? It's never ice coffee season.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Okay, Okay, Ever, I like when it's boiling hot outside,
I'll still get a hot like chilate that person.

Speaker 4 (59:41):
That guy, Yeah, I mean that that's fine.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Right, but it's right totally.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
No, because I'm from Massachusetts. Dunk and Donuts. It's a
part of who I am.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
It's like very in Massachusetts. Aren't you doing hot coffee
a lot of the time?

Speaker 3 (59:55):
Never, it's always iced, it's always ice in freezing temperature.
Big is wrong with you? Yeah, yeah, it's it's real.
It's a part of my like where it is with you.
I know, I know, but that's okay, that's okay. We
can still be friends.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
We can't still be friends.

Speaker 4 (01:00:13):
I really loved this. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Thank you so much for having I can talk to
you all night, for reaching out. What you will.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
You're going to come on my show the next time
you're in and then we're going to do more of this.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
I would love that.

Speaker 4 (01:00:23):
This was a very soul enriching conversation. It made me
feel good. Thank you, Thanks Brian.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
Next week on Off the Cup, Donnie Deutsch.

Speaker 5 (01:00:35):
I remember getting in college the first day and meeting
all these kids that you know, had their own BMW's,
and I just remember I couldn't wait to play cards
with them and take their money, you know, and because
they didn't have but the one thing they didn't have,
they didn't have both the street smarts, and they didn't
have the same hunger I had.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as
part of the Reason Choice Network.

Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
If you want more, check out the other.

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
Reason Choice podcasts Spolitics with Jamel Hill and Native Land Pod.
For Off the Cup, I am your host Se Cup.
Editing and sound design by Derek Clements.

Speaker 4 (01:01:10):
Our executive producers are me Se Cup.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman. Rate and review wherever you
get your podcasts, Follow or subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday.