August 20, 2025 • 28 mins
This week, S.E. sits down with James Van Der Beek, an actor known for so many iconic roles from Dawson's Creek to Varsity Blues to The Rules of Attraction. Now James is using his platform to share his life-changing cancer diagnosis and amplify the life-saving need for early detection. S.E. and James delve into his emotional journey from diagnosis, to treatment to the profound realizations about identity and resilience. Stay tuned for a delightful and surprising lightning round tailor made for James.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
I joked that I'm a one person I know who
got cancer and was like, I realize I need to
work more.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to Off the Cup, my personal anti anxiety antidote.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
You know, after doing nearly fifty.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Episodes of Off the Cup, I'm recognizing some patterns that
have developed. Even though I'm interviewing all kinds of different
people actors, singers, authors, politicians, comedians, reality stars, a bunch
of themes have started to emerge career arcs, as you know,
that's been a recurring theme where we talk about navigating
(00:37):
the highs and lows of our jobs and how our
identities can get tied up in our work. Parenting, especially
in the age of social media, it's hard and it
has a lot of folks worried about how our kids
are going to turn out. Plenty of adults we've had
on have admitted that they are addicted and have to
manage their social media usage. Anxiety obviously is a theme
(00:59):
because I talk about mine, and lots of guests have
been brave enough to talk about their own mental health struggles,
whether that's addiction or depression or anxiety.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
We're grateful for that.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Lastly, one that's started to come up recently is survival.
So many of our guests have been through stuff like
really difficult stuff, abuse, the loss of a loved one,
a traumatic event, a fire, coming out, being bullied, getting
(01:29):
a life changing diagnosis, and importantly they've shared what they've
done to start over or rebuild. Today's guest is a survivor.
He's a very famous actor. You know him from Dawson's Creek,
Don't Trust The Being Apartment, twenty three, Varsity Blues, Rules
of Attraction, many performances on stage. But that's all the
(01:50):
stuff you know about. What you don't know is how
much he has survived. And he's got a really important
message for all of us who are over for Hi,
that's me and that's what we're going to get into today.
So welcome to the Cup James Vanderbeek.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Hi, good to be here.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I'm really thrilled to have you, and I think people
are really interested in your journey, your family. They're inspired
by how you live your life. Before we get into
your diagnosis, can you take me back to August twenty
twenty three, what's your life like for you and your
wife and your six kids before all of this kind
(02:29):
of set the scene for me.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Well, in twenty twenty, we moved out to Texas. So
we're living on thirty six acres. We have five dogs,
six kids, a bearded dragon named Charla, and I'm training
for something. I'm an amazing physical cardiovascular shape. I am writing,
I've got two movies that I'm about to say yes to.
(02:55):
We're about to take an RV trip.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Why did you move out there? Can you just tell
me a little bit about that.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
We'd been wanting to get out of LA for quite
some time. My wife and I we wanted to raise
our kids someplace different. Nashville was on the list. Outside
Atlanta was on the list, and we found this amazing
spot just outside of Austin. My wife and I went
there for an anniversary in August to twenty twenty, and
(03:24):
I had shod Varsity Blues there many many years earlier,
and just getting back to Austin, I realized, oh wait,
this place has a vibe like what I loved about
Austin back then. Wasn't just where I was at my career,
wasn't just the project that I was on. It's actually
still here and I get to raise my kids here.
So we found this amazing place on a river and
(03:48):
we just pulled the trigger, said let's go, we're doing it,
We're moving, flew back, told our kids put it with
everything in a moving van, and then we took a
ten day road trip and picked up two dollsugs along
the way because ten day road trip with too much
HUA was that we'd rescued and we'd never traveled with
and at the time five kids, that wasn't complicated enough.
(04:09):
So we also adopted two more dogs thick with us
on the road trip and we just got in the
car and drove until somebody had to pee, which you
know wasn't always that long. And yeah, we set up
life in Texas.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
You'd been recovering, I'm sure, emotionally from several miscarriages that
you've talked about. Did you feel like at this point
you were over a hump? Life was good.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, we did, and we had our miracle sixth baby.
COVID was finally done, the strikes were finally resolving, and
I was like, okay, and so it's said, Yeah, I'd
suggested two movies and then I uh going for a
colonoscopy and I wake up the foggy kind of y
(05:00):
very pleasant.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Yeah, I've heard it's very good, right, good trucks.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Now you go to sleep, you work out, You're like,
oh wow, I feel rested, and I'm so glad I
did that.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I heard that.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah great, I got it out of the way. And
then the doctor and his best bedside manner says it
is cancer, and I was kind of went into shock.
And then the whole drive home with my wife, I
think we were both in shock. And yeah, I felt
(05:33):
at the point I didn't feel like I had enough
information to panic. Okay, so I wasn't, you know, booing
or too to straw all. Just the me knew was
it was cancer. I didn't know it. Stage didn't know
any of that. And then it just kind of started
to done in And the next morning I woke up
feeling like, oh wait, I should have woken up from
(05:54):
that dream. Hold on, this is not the I feel
like I've slipped into the long reality like reality that's
not the one that I need to be in. And honestly,
it's kind of stipid like that. It's it's a journey
that manifests itself in chapters.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
How did you tell your kids?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I made sure I had a handle on what the
of course, the treatment was going to be made sure
I had some information, and then we were just honest
with them. We didn't shy away from it. We used
all the real words. Again, we have so many that
I think it's just would have spread.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Like wildfire through your house.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, yeah, you know, like, oh, that's not what Daddy
told me. He said that even you know, I didn't
want to start with the metaphors, and it was I'm
not that clever, So I just figured, let's just be
let's just be real. And what happened was they really
surprised me with their resilience and their maturity, and they
also they know something's up. There was no realm in
(06:54):
which I was going to hide this from them. That
would have left them just, you know, confused and worried.
So yeah, I just and of course they all handle
it differently, they all hide it differently, they all processed differently.
But what was really cool was just I allowed them
(07:14):
to show up for me, you know, when I've had it,
when I've had that day, I could be honest they Dad,
do you are you tired? Do you need tea? Yeah?
It's been really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Were you all of the mindset that, like everything stops.
We'll put all our energy into dealing with this and
then we'll move on with our lives. Or were you
of the mindset our lives are continuing as normal as possible.
I've got this thing over here, but it's not going
to define us.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, that was my first thought, was all right, I'm
just gonna I'm gona deal with this. We're going to
rock this out and then we'll be good. I did
have to say passed on the movies that I had
said yes too previously. I was about to say yes too,
and then I started and then I kept. What I
kept that saying in the beginning was I know this
sounds stupid, but this is harder than I thought it
would be. I said that a lot in the beginning.
(08:19):
I don't say that anymore.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
What part was harder The amount.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Of time it's cancer really is a full time job,
all the the medical portals, organizing your information, trying something,
not knowing if it's working, sitting in the question, sitting
in the unknown, waiting for the test results. It really
(08:44):
does take an emotional toll, and it requires absolute presence.
And what I said to myself right away is Okay,
what are the changes I'm going to make in my
life that are going to make me look back on
this in twenty years and say, thank God this happened emotionally, spiritually, dietarily, medically, physically,
Like just if I go, if I look at my
(09:04):
life up until this point and say, Okay, whatever I've
been doing has been killing me to some degree, what
are the changes I can make right now? And so
I was very determined to make to turn this into
the best thing that ever happened to me, which is
crazy to say. And I don't think what I was
prepared for was just how low it would get me,
(09:25):
just how how much I'd be laid out, how how
much I'd have to give up of my own identity
and my own, you know, sense of who I was
that had been banked upon me being a present father
and husband and provider and caretaker of his land and
the guy who was going to prune the trees at
(09:46):
the right time of the year and do it right
with the spray and save my oaks and all that.
And yeah, it just kind of cancer. Let me know.
It wasn't let me, letting me get by with just
an obligatory stop phoning it in. It's gonna be a journey.
It's just gonna lay clear everything off the table and
(10:08):
really forced me to look at who I am.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You wrote in part in an Instagram post last year,
and you sort of just alluded to this. You wrote,
it's been a tough year and I'm thankful for all
of it, for the giant life redirect cancer has placed
in my path.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
What redirect?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Did you not know you needed that that cancer sort
of woke you up to.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
There were a couple. The kind of funniest one is
when I moved to Texas and I was with my family,
I thought, I don't even need acting. This is great.
I'm just I'm gonna do this. And then when I
got diagnosed and I realized I'm an artist. I love
to collaborate, I love to tell stories. That is a
really important part of who I am. And so I
(10:56):
joked that I'm the one person I know who got cancer.
Was like, I realized I need to work more, right, So,
you know, that was one thing just kind of allowing
me to recognize and appreciate the importance that creation and
art and storytelling has in my life. Yeah, and the
(11:20):
rest of it was just getting out of old identities
old definitions of success, old right ways in which I
derived selfis.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, we talk a lot about that here, sort of
getting wrapped up in your identity as the thing you do.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
And you know, that's been hard for me, it's hard
for a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
And it's one doesn't want cancer to remind you that
you are not your work, but it's you know, it's
a good reminder to know, for some kind of intervention,
to let you know, at some point your value is
not in that thing that everyone knows you for.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Well, i'd gotten to that point pretty much where I
was like, yeah, I'm not the thing that I'm not
the I'm not the thing that people know me for.
I'm not the image that i've that i've coc occulture.
I'm not even the sum of the characters I've played.
I knew that, But what I had really come to
define myself as was and father, provider, husband, you know,
(12:18):
athletic guy who can do all these things. And what
I realized I was at a point where I was
none of those things. So even those beautiful definitions of
you know, father, caretaker I did, I couldn't fulfill. So well,
what am I absent? Any of that? If I'm just
(12:39):
an underweight guy alone in a room with cancer, then
what am I? And the conclusion that I came to
in meditation was I'm worthy of love. Yeah, you know,
and we all are simply because we exist. And that
(13:03):
was never would have come to had I not been
just laid laid out completely.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yeah. That's heavy but beautiful.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
And I'm wondering if you could, just because we'll have
a lot of people listening who know someone with cancer,
what's one of the hardest conversations you have to have,
either with yourself or a loved one when you have cancer.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Dealing with their fear because everybody has their own history
and their own baggage when it comes to it, and
so when you tell someone you love who cares about you,
you're also dealing with their fear and they're you know,
So that's been that's been tricky, and so it just
(13:53):
takes really kind of knowing who you are, having faith
in your process, having trust in your body, and just
knowing that other people are going to have, you know,
their their own process as soon as you tell them,
and they're starting, they're starting at minute one, the second
you tell them you have cancer, they are going through
(14:16):
the shock and the Okay, you're going to get through,
this is going to be great, and then you know
the process that I've had all this time to do,
they're now just starting. And so that's that's what I
realized in telling people, and that was tricky. And my
advice to anybody who has a love one with cancer
(14:36):
as well would be you can always ask how are
you and you have to be prepared for the answer
to be not great today, and to just sometimes sit
with somebody in their pain. It's something that my wife
has shown an amazing ability to do, because as you
(14:57):
when you love someone, you want to help them, You
want to make it better for them, you want to
fix it for them, and so any but any degree
of saying well, you know, at least this or at
least this, are you going to do that? You I
used to do that to people right to do something?
At least you can appreciate this other good thing.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
In you're like, look at the right side, the right side.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
You know, you still have your kids. And what I
realized is that you know, that was to make me
feel better. It wasn't to make them feel better, because
I didn't want them to be in vain. I didn't
know how to sit with them not being okay, And
so the advice I would give is is it's always
okay to ask how you're doing and if, but you
have to be prepared for the answer to be not
great and to just let that be the answer for
(15:39):
that day and recognize that you can't fix it for them.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
That's great advice. So give us another kind of advice.
Talk about SHIELD and why your partner with garden Health.
I'm forty six. I because I don't have a history
(16:05):
of it in my family. I was given the take
home test, which I did. But you know, talk about
what's important and what people should be doing as they.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Hit this age.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Yeah, so what I want to like shout from the rooftops,
which I didn't know, is that forty five is the
age of which they recommend having a conversation with the
doctor about your colorectal cancer screening options. I still, I
didn't realize it to drop from fifty. If you have
a family history, then that you know, you start talking
about that earlier. The biggest thing is you don't have
(16:38):
to have symptoms to get screened, because while colorectal cancer
is the second deadliest cancer, which is really scary.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
The other amazing thing about it is that it's also
the most easily cub when it's chuldterarly. So get screened
when it is recommended, not just when you have symptoms.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
What would some symptoms be for people?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
You can go online and look, I mean, everybody's symptoms
is different, sometimes in battle habits sometimes I mean I
did play a doctor on television once. That doesn't perfinitely
qualify me to go through what the list list of
symptoms are. So that's why I but I've really with this.
I would not go with the symptoms because the curate
when it's caught early is like nine.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, And so there are you know, several different different options.
Colonoscopy obviously is you know, I think what they call
the gold standard, but adherence to the advice to get
a kolenoscopy is not great. Adherence to a shield blood
test is three times higher.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Tell me what a shield blood test.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Is, What a shil blood test is is a simple
blood test that you could do at your next doctor's
visit and they can screen that blood bio that blood
for colonnical cancer and you can just ask for that,
and you can and you can just ask for that. Yeah,
any any healthcare provider.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I think that'll bring a lot more people in who
are maybe scared of getting those tests.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, because people still have barriers when it comes to screening. Yeah,
whether those are rule or imagined, they exist, and anything
go to which they could prevent somebody from discovering somebody
that can be very curable when you catch it early.
That's why, that's why I wanted to. I partnered with
Shield in my Garden because they just it's a it's
(18:32):
a pleasant, convenient, easy option to get screened, so important,
especially for somebody who who can't take off work. Yeah,
or you know, or the kids have a.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah, Okay, we're gonna do a little lightning round. That's
light and fun.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Mh. What is your favorite book?
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Autobiography of a Yogi? Okay, I didn't expect that one,
did you?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
No? I didn't. What's the best coming of age movie?
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Ash? Oh man, there's gonna be such a good answer
to this. I'm not gonna think of it in the
Lightning round Coming age movie, I.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Can tell you the correct answer. The correct answer is
stand by me. But you might have a you might
have a better.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
One is amazing, good one, you know, weird with I
love the breakfast Club.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Oh fantastic. That might be better than stand by me.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Actually, yeah, that's such a guy, especially my age our
age like, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Okay, uh, what's the worst vacation you've ever been on?
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I will not say who this was, but I was
with somebody, yep, and it was the wrong somebody, and
he was in a foreign country and we went to
this hotel that was very isolated and like on an island.
And I got there and I looked around and I
realized I can't be in this hotel room with this person,
(20:06):
and literally got to the room put the bags down.
I said I can't do this and went right back
to the front desk and has to check out. And
Quentin flagged down the boat that brought us there. I
was like, could we just can we get back on
the to the main man?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Yeah, did you break up right then and there?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
On some form, we broke up right then and there. Yeah,
the actual extrication took him took a minute after that,
but I believe that I think it put the one
moment that relationship is over. It was amazing vacation. Yeah,
what a good story.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Your high school nickname was mister Hollywood. No, how does
that make you feel now?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
There wasn't actually.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
No, mister Vanderbeek.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I have your yearbook in which you say thank you
for my nickname, mister Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Is it a real yearbook?
Speaker 3 (21:10):
It's your Cheshure.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Academy yearbook nineteen ninety five.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
I said that I can show you wow, mister Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah, and Brian Canal said, yes, Vanderbeek, or should I say,
doc Hollywood?
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Your future is looking bright?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Am I telling you something you don't know about yourself?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yes? Yes, because but by the time my graduated in
high school, i'd been to Hollywood I think exactly once.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
No, but you had. You had made a film, because
you referenced it in your yearbook.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I had the second best Coming of age movie Angus.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yes, there you go.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
And you said one of your quotes first a certain
teacher was something like, I have to leave early for auditions.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I did. I did say that a lot in high school. Yes,
I have to leave holy front on this my homework.
And it was true like ninety nine percent of the time.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Yeah, sometimes you didn't have an audition, So.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
The time I did, I promise.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
So what do you think your nickname in high school was?
If you don't think it was mister Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Gosh, I mean beak or when I'm not in the room,
the beak usually how I'm I've been told.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I was. I was so in and out of my
own high school. I was doing play in New York,
I was doing a movie. Mister Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Really you these are your words. Brian Knell thinks it
was Doc Hollywood. You said thank you to a certain
teacher for my nickname mister Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Oh so I wrote this and you wrote into something
that I like with my own handwriting. Yeah, oh okay,
got it. So maybe somebody did call me mister Hollywood.
And if they did, I would have taken that as
a compliment and as a sign of confidence that they
had that I would succeed.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Well they did. Brian Canal said, your futures looking bright.
I think everyone believed in you.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Thank you, Brian Canel.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I did have didchers who believed in me, which which
was great and that really. Yeah, so somebody did call
me mister Hollywood. I think I probably would have taken
that as like a you know, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Yeah, oh, I'm sure it was.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Sorry. I thought you meant like I had put it
in as mice my own superlative, like I had given
myself that nickname no, or that I like, or that
I walked around noting that nickname.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
No, okay, it's what some people called you, apparently, and
it was I'm sure positive.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Okay, great, Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
What's the thing you're not good at?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Figuring out my own high school yearbook?
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Remembering stuff? Yeah, remembering your childhood.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Didn't bring anything not ten minutes ago?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
That works. That works. What's the best thing your parents
did for you?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Ah, encourage me to and support me and chasing my
own dreams.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah, it's big.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Okay, this is the last question. It's very important to
me culturally and spiritually. When is it iced coffee season?
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Is it ever not? Oh?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
That's the correct answer, say less. Yeah, that is the
correct answer, period, full stop. Is it ever not?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Thank you James.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Vandervey, and thanks for all of that great information. It's
really important and I'm so glad that you're out there
talking about it. It's brave, but it's also really helpful,
and I loved having you on.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Thank you absolutely. Yeah. I want, I really really want
to put correctal cancer in everybody's radar because, like I said,
get it checked, get it checked early, so much easier
to treat. You heard him, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Thanks James.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Oh and if you're curious about the shield test in particular,
it's it's the blood test dot com.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
The blood test dot com perfect.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
The blood test dot com And is all the information
you have on that particular option.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
All right, well, come talk to us again. We hope,
uh you know, we hope you're doing great.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Okay, this is a blasted Thank you so much, James.
All right, take care.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Oh that was such a great episode.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I'm so glad we had him on because he's lovely
but also such an important message and he's really brave
to talk about his own battle, and it's obviously very
important to him that he be sort of an evangelist
for getting tested, and it's really important. I'm forty five.
I know my doctor said it when I I'm forty six. Sorry,
(25:54):
And I know my doctor said it when I turned
forty five.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
You gotta get tested. Nobody wants to, but I got it.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Especially I didn't know this but especially since what he
said was it's very curable if you catch it early.
That's the most important thing. So catch it early. Just
go get it done.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Go get it done. It's not that bad. And also
go to the blood test dot com.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
And that's a whole other way to do it, so
no excuses to not get it done before I go.
I want to ask you, guys a question. I love
that your loyal listeners have off the Cup and I
know that you come here for that escape from politics.
Believe me, so do I, my friends. I need it
(26:39):
just as badly as you do. But I'm wondering. You know,
we're coming up on a big New York City election
next year's midterms. There's obviously a lot going on. I'm wondering,
and be honest, do you want to talk about politics here?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Is that something you want to hear like a little
bit of in.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
The sort of in the midst of your you know,
the interview and discussions of mental health, or are you
like keep that as far away from us as is
humanly possible.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I truly want to know.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Write us at off the Cup. That's Cup with two
p's at gmail dot com. Off the Cup at gmail
dot com and let me know. Yes politics, no politics.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
I'm listening. I want to know what you think. I'll
do it if you want me to, but only if
you want me to.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Coming up on Off the Cup next week, I sit
down and talk to Lioness and House of Cards actor
Michael Kelly.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
This is so good and I'm so embarrassed because these
kids don't do this perfect. This is why I'm telling
this story.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as
part of the Reason Choice Network. If you want more,
check out the other Reason Choice podcasts, Politics with Jamel
Hill and Native Land pod. For Off the Cup, I'm
your host s E Cup, editing and sound design by
Derek Clements. Our executive producers are me s E Cup,
Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Rate and review wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Follow or subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday.
I joked that I'm a one person I know who
got cancer and was like, I realize I need to
work more.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to Off the Cup, my personal anti anxiety antidote.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
You know, after doing nearly fifty.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Episodes of Off the Cup, I'm recognizing some patterns that
have developed. Even though I'm interviewing all kinds of different
people actors, singers, authors, politicians, comedians, reality stars, a bunch
of themes have started to emerge career arcs, as you know,
that's been a recurring theme where we talk about navigating
(00:37):
the highs and lows of our jobs and how our
identities can get tied up in our work. Parenting, especially
in the age of social media, it's hard and it
has a lot of folks worried about how our kids
are going to turn out. Plenty of adults we've had
on have admitted that they are addicted and have to
manage their social media usage. Anxiety obviously is a theme
(00:59):
because I talk about mine, and lots of guests have
been brave enough to talk about their own mental health struggles,
whether that's addiction or depression or anxiety.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
We're grateful for that.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Lastly, one that's started to come up recently is survival.
So many of our guests have been through stuff like
really difficult stuff, abuse, the loss of a loved one,
a traumatic event, a fire, coming out, being bullied, getting
(01:29):
a life changing diagnosis, and importantly they've shared what they've
done to start over or rebuild. Today's guest is a survivor.
He's a very famous actor. You know him from Dawson's Creek,
Don't Trust The Being Apartment, twenty three, Varsity Blues, Rules
of Attraction, many performances on stage. But that's all the
(01:50):
stuff you know about. What you don't know is how
much he has survived. And he's got a really important
message for all of us who are over for Hi,
that's me and that's what we're going to get into today.
So welcome to the Cup James Vanderbeek.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Hi, good to be here.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I'm really thrilled to have you, and I think people
are really interested in your journey, your family. They're inspired
by how you live your life. Before we get into
your diagnosis, can you take me back to August twenty
twenty three, what's your life like for you and your
wife and your six kids before all of this kind
(02:29):
of set the scene for me.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Well, in twenty twenty, we moved out to Texas. So
we're living on thirty six acres. We have five dogs,
six kids, a bearded dragon named Charla, and I'm training
for something. I'm an amazing physical cardiovascular shape. I am writing,
I've got two movies that I'm about to say yes to.
(02:55):
We're about to take an RV trip.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Why did you move out there? Can you just tell
me a little bit about that.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
We'd been wanting to get out of LA for quite
some time. My wife and I we wanted to raise
our kids someplace different. Nashville was on the list. Outside
Atlanta was on the list, and we found this amazing
spot just outside of Austin. My wife and I went
there for an anniversary in August to twenty twenty, and
(03:24):
I had shod Varsity Blues there many many years earlier,
and just getting back to Austin, I realized, oh wait,
this place has a vibe like what I loved about
Austin back then. Wasn't just where I was at my career,
wasn't just the project that I was on. It's actually
still here and I get to raise my kids here.
So we found this amazing place on a river and
(03:48):
we just pulled the trigger, said let's go, we're doing it,
We're moving, flew back, told our kids put it with
everything in a moving van, and then we took a
ten day road trip and picked up two dollsugs along
the way because ten day road trip with too much
HUA was that we'd rescued and we'd never traveled with
and at the time five kids, that wasn't complicated enough.
(04:09):
So we also adopted two more dogs thick with us
on the road trip and we just got in the
car and drove until somebody had to pee, which you
know wasn't always that long. And yeah, we set up
life in Texas.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
You'd been recovering, I'm sure, emotionally from several miscarriages that
you've talked about. Did you feel like at this point
you were over a hump? Life was good.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, we did, and we had our miracle sixth baby.
COVID was finally done, the strikes were finally resolving, and
I was like, okay, and so it's said, Yeah, I'd
suggested two movies and then I uh going for a
colonoscopy and I wake up the foggy kind of y
(05:00):
very pleasant.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Yeah, I've heard it's very good, right, good trucks.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Now you go to sleep, you work out, You're like,
oh wow, I feel rested, and I'm so glad I
did that.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I heard that.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah great, I got it out of the way. And
then the doctor and his best bedside manner says it
is cancer, and I was kind of went into shock.
And then the whole drive home with my wife, I
think we were both in shock. And yeah, I felt
(05:33):
at the point I didn't feel like I had enough
information to panic. Okay, so I wasn't, you know, booing
or too to straw all. Just the me knew was
it was cancer. I didn't know it. Stage didn't know
any of that. And then it just kind of started
to done in And the next morning I woke up
feeling like, oh wait, I should have woken up from
(05:54):
that dream. Hold on, this is not the I feel
like I've slipped into the long reality like reality that's
not the one that I need to be in. And honestly,
it's kind of stipid like that. It's it's a journey
that manifests itself in chapters.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
How did you tell your kids?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I made sure I had a handle on what the
of course, the treatment was going to be made sure
I had some information, and then we were just honest
with them. We didn't shy away from it. We used
all the real words. Again, we have so many that
I think it's just would have spread.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Like wildfire through your house.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, yeah, you know, like, oh, that's not what Daddy
told me. He said that even you know, I didn't
want to start with the metaphors, and it was I'm
not that clever, So I just figured, let's just be
let's just be real. And what happened was they really
surprised me with their resilience and their maturity, and they
also they know something's up. There was no realm in
(06:54):
which I was going to hide this from them. That
would have left them just, you know, confused and worried.
So yeah, I just and of course they all handle
it differently, they all hide it differently, they all processed differently.
But what was really cool was just I allowed them
(07:14):
to show up for me, you know, when I've had it,
when I've had that day, I could be honest they Dad,
do you are you tired? Do you need tea? Yeah?
It's been really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Were you all of the mindset that, like everything stops.
We'll put all our energy into dealing with this and
then we'll move on with our lives. Or were you
of the mindset our lives are continuing as normal as possible.
I've got this thing over here, but it's not going
to define us.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, that was my first thought, was all right, I'm
just gonna I'm gona deal with this. We're going to
rock this out and then we'll be good. I did
have to say passed on the movies that I had
said yes too previously. I was about to say yes too,
and then I started and then I kept. What I
kept that saying in the beginning was I know this
sounds stupid, but this is harder than I thought it
would be. I said that a lot in the beginning.
(08:19):
I don't say that anymore.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
What part was harder The amount.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Of time it's cancer really is a full time job,
all the the medical portals, organizing your information, trying something,
not knowing if it's working, sitting in the question, sitting
in the unknown, waiting for the test results. It really
(08:44):
does take an emotional toll, and it requires absolute presence.
And what I said to myself right away is Okay,
what are the changes I'm going to make in my
life that are going to make me look back on
this in twenty years and say, thank God this happened emotionally, spiritually, dietarily, medically, physically,
Like just if I go, if I look at my
(09:04):
life up until this point and say, Okay, whatever I've
been doing has been killing me to some degree, what
are the changes I can make right now? And so
I was very determined to make to turn this into
the best thing that ever happened to me, which is
crazy to say. And I don't think what I was
prepared for was just how low it would get me,
(09:25):
just how how much I'd be laid out, how how
much I'd have to give up of my own identity
and my own, you know, sense of who I was
that had been banked upon me being a present father
and husband and provider and caretaker of his land and
the guy who was going to prune the trees at
(09:46):
the right time of the year and do it right
with the spray and save my oaks and all that.
And yeah, it just kind of cancer. Let me know.
It wasn't let me, letting me get by with just
an obligatory stop phoning it in. It's gonna be a journey.
It's just gonna lay clear everything off the table and
(10:08):
really forced me to look at who I am.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You wrote in part in an Instagram post last year,
and you sort of just alluded to this. You wrote,
it's been a tough year and I'm thankful for all
of it, for the giant life redirect cancer has placed
in my path.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
What redirect?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Did you not know you needed that that cancer sort
of woke you up to.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
There were a couple. The kind of funniest one is
when I moved to Texas and I was with my family,
I thought, I don't even need acting. This is great.
I'm just I'm gonna do this. And then when I
got diagnosed and I realized I'm an artist. I love
to collaborate, I love to tell stories. That is a
really important part of who I am. And so I
(10:56):
joked that I'm the one person I know who got cancer.
Was like, I realized I need to work more, right, So,
you know, that was one thing just kind of allowing
me to recognize and appreciate the importance that creation and
art and storytelling has in my life. Yeah, and the
(11:20):
rest of it was just getting out of old identities
old definitions of success, old right ways in which I
derived selfis.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, we talk a lot about that here, sort of
getting wrapped up in your identity as the thing you do.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
And you know, that's been hard for me, it's hard
for a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
And it's one doesn't want cancer to remind you that
you are not your work, but it's you know, it's
a good reminder to know, for some kind of intervention,
to let you know, at some point your value is
not in that thing that everyone knows you for.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Well, i'd gotten to that point pretty much where I
was like, yeah, I'm not the thing that I'm not
the I'm not the thing that people know me for.
I'm not the image that i've that i've coc occulture.
I'm not even the sum of the characters I've played.
I knew that, But what I had really come to
define myself as was and father, provider, husband, you know,
(12:18):
athletic guy who can do all these things. And what
I realized I was at a point where I was
none of those things. So even those beautiful definitions of
you know, father, caretaker I did, I couldn't fulfill. So well,
what am I absent? Any of that? If I'm just
(12:39):
an underweight guy alone in a room with cancer, then
what am I? And the conclusion that I came to
in meditation was I'm worthy of love. Yeah, you know,
and we all are simply because we exist. And that
(13:03):
was never would have come to had I not been
just laid laid out completely.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yeah. That's heavy but beautiful.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
And I'm wondering if you could, just because we'll have
a lot of people listening who know someone with cancer,
what's one of the hardest conversations you have to have,
either with yourself or a loved one when you have cancer.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Dealing with their fear because everybody has their own history
and their own baggage when it comes to it, and
so when you tell someone you love who cares about you,
you're also dealing with their fear and they're you know,
So that's been that's been tricky, and so it just
(13:53):
takes really kind of knowing who you are, having faith
in your process, having trust in your body, and just
knowing that other people are going to have, you know,
their their own process as soon as you tell them,
and they're starting, they're starting at minute one, the second
you tell them you have cancer, they are going through
(14:16):
the shock and the Okay, you're going to get through,
this is going to be great, and then you know
the process that I've had all this time to do,
they're now just starting. And so that's that's what I
realized in telling people, and that was tricky. And my
advice to anybody who has a love one with cancer
(14:36):
as well would be you can always ask how are
you and you have to be prepared for the answer
to be not great today, and to just sometimes sit
with somebody in their pain. It's something that my wife
has shown an amazing ability to do, because as you
(14:57):
when you love someone, you want to help them, You
want to make it better for them, you want to
fix it for them, and so any but any degree
of saying well, you know, at least this or at
least this, are you going to do that? You I
used to do that to people right to do something?
At least you can appreciate this other good thing.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
In you're like, look at the right side, the right side.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
You know, you still have your kids. And what I
realized is that you know, that was to make me
feel better. It wasn't to make them feel better, because
I didn't want them to be in vain. I didn't
know how to sit with them not being okay, And
so the advice I would give is is it's always
okay to ask how you're doing and if, but you
have to be prepared for the answer to be not
great and to just let that be the answer for
(15:39):
that day and recognize that you can't fix it for them.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
That's great advice. So give us another kind of advice.
Talk about SHIELD and why your partner with garden Health.
I'm forty six. I because I don't have a history
(16:05):
of it in my family. I was given the take
home test, which I did. But you know, talk about
what's important and what people should be doing as they.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Hit this age.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Yeah, so what I want to like shout from the rooftops,
which I didn't know, is that forty five is the
age of which they recommend having a conversation with the
doctor about your colorectal cancer screening options. I still, I
didn't realize it to drop from fifty. If you have
a family history, then that you know, you start talking
about that earlier. The biggest thing is you don't have
(16:38):
to have symptoms to get screened, because while colorectal cancer
is the second deadliest cancer, which is really scary.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
The other amazing thing about it is that it's also
the most easily cub when it's chuldterarly. So get screened
when it is recommended, not just when you have symptoms.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
What would some symptoms be for people?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
You can go online and look, I mean, everybody's symptoms
is different, sometimes in battle habits sometimes I mean I
did play a doctor on television once. That doesn't perfinitely
qualify me to go through what the list list of
symptoms are. So that's why I but I've really with this.
I would not go with the symptoms because the curate
when it's caught early is like nine.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, And so there are you know, several different different options.
Colonoscopy obviously is you know, I think what they call
the gold standard, but adherence to the advice to get
a kolenoscopy is not great. Adherence to a shield blood
test is three times higher.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Tell me what a shield blood test.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Is, What a shil blood test is is a simple
blood test that you could do at your next doctor's
visit and they can screen that blood bio that blood
for colonnical cancer and you can just ask for that,
and you can and you can just ask for that. Yeah,
any any healthcare provider.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I think that'll bring a lot more people in who
are maybe scared of getting those tests.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, because people still have barriers when it comes to screening. Yeah,
whether those are rule or imagined, they exist, and anything
go to which they could prevent somebody from discovering somebody
that can be very curable when you catch it early.
That's why, that's why I wanted to. I partnered with
Shield in my Garden because they just it's a it's
(18:32):
a pleasant, convenient, easy option to get screened, so important,
especially for somebody who who can't take off work. Yeah,
or you know, or the kids have a.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah, Okay, we're gonna do a little lightning round. That's
light and fun.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Mh. What is your favorite book?
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Autobiography of a Yogi? Okay, I didn't expect that one,
did you?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
No? I didn't. What's the best coming of age movie?
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Ash? Oh man, there's gonna be such a good answer
to this. I'm not gonna think of it in the
Lightning round Coming age movie, I.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Can tell you the correct answer. The correct answer is
stand by me. But you might have a you might
have a better.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
One is amazing, good one, you know, weird with I
love the breakfast Club.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Oh fantastic. That might be better than stand by me.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Actually, yeah, that's such a guy, especially my age our
age like, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Okay, uh, what's the worst vacation you've ever been on?
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I will not say who this was, but I was
with somebody, yep, and it was the wrong somebody, and
he was in a foreign country and we went to
this hotel that was very isolated and like on an island.
And I got there and I looked around and I
realized I can't be in this hotel room with this person,
(20:06):
and literally got to the room put the bags down.
I said I can't do this and went right back
to the front desk and has to check out. And
Quentin flagged down the boat that brought us there. I
was like, could we just can we get back on
the to the main man?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Yeah, did you break up right then and there?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
On some form, we broke up right then and there. Yeah,
the actual extrication took him took a minute after that,
but I believe that I think it put the one
moment that relationship is over. It was amazing vacation. Yeah,
what a good story.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Your high school nickname was mister Hollywood. No, how does
that make you feel now?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
There wasn't actually.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
No, mister Vanderbeek.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I have your yearbook in which you say thank you
for my nickname, mister Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Is it a real yearbook?
Speaker 3 (21:10):
It's your Cheshure.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Academy yearbook nineteen ninety five.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
I said that I can show you wow, mister Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah, and Brian Canal said, yes, Vanderbeek, or should I say,
doc Hollywood?
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Your future is looking bright?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Am I telling you something you don't know about yourself?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yes? Yes, because but by the time my graduated in
high school, i'd been to Hollywood I think exactly once.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
No, but you had. You had made a film, because
you referenced it in your yearbook.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I had the second best Coming of age movie Angus.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yes, there you go.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
And you said one of your quotes first a certain
teacher was something like, I have to leave early for auditions.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I did. I did say that a lot in high school. Yes,
I have to leave holy front on this my homework.
And it was true like ninety nine percent of the time.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Yeah, sometimes you didn't have an audition, So.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
The time I did, I promise.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
So what do you think your nickname in high school was?
If you don't think it was mister Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Gosh, I mean beak or when I'm not in the room,
the beak usually how I'm I've been told.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I was. I was so in and out of my
own high school. I was doing play in New York,
I was doing a movie. Mister Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Really you these are your words. Brian Knell thinks it
was Doc Hollywood. You said thank you to a certain
teacher for my nickname mister Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Oh so I wrote this and you wrote into something
that I like with my own handwriting. Yeah, oh okay,
got it. So maybe somebody did call me mister Hollywood.
And if they did, I would have taken that as
a compliment and as a sign of confidence that they
had that I would succeed.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Well they did. Brian Canal said, your futures looking bright.
I think everyone believed in you.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Thank you, Brian Canel.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I did have didchers who believed in me, which which
was great and that really. Yeah, so somebody did call
me mister Hollywood. I think I probably would have taken
that as like a you know, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Yeah, oh, I'm sure it was.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Sorry. I thought you meant like I had put it
in as mice my own superlative, like I had given
myself that nickname no, or that I like, or that
I walked around noting that nickname.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
No, okay, it's what some people called you, apparently, and
it was I'm sure positive.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Okay, great, Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
What's the thing you're not good at?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Figuring out my own high school yearbook?
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Remembering stuff? Yeah, remembering your childhood.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Didn't bring anything not ten minutes ago?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
That works. That works. What's the best thing your parents
did for you?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Ah, encourage me to and support me and chasing my
own dreams.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah, it's big.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Okay, this is the last question. It's very important to
me culturally and spiritually. When is it iced coffee season?
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Is it ever not? Oh?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
That's the correct answer, say less. Yeah, that is the
correct answer, period, full stop. Is it ever not?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Thank you James.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Vandervey, and thanks for all of that great information. It's
really important and I'm so glad that you're out there
talking about it. It's brave, but it's also really helpful,
and I loved having you on.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Thank you absolutely. Yeah. I want, I really really want
to put correctal cancer in everybody's radar because, like I said,
get it checked, get it checked early, so much easier
to treat. You heard him, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Thanks James.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Oh and if you're curious about the shield test in particular,
it's it's the blood test dot com.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
The blood test dot com perfect.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
The blood test dot com And is all the information
you have on that particular option.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
All right, well, come talk to us again. We hope,
uh you know, we hope you're doing great.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Okay, this is a blasted Thank you so much, James.
All right, take care.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Oh that was such a great episode.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I'm so glad we had him on because he's lovely
but also such an important message and he's really brave
to talk about his own battle, and it's obviously very
important to him that he be sort of an evangelist
for getting tested, and it's really important. I'm forty five.
I know my doctor said it when I I'm forty six. Sorry,
(25:54):
And I know my doctor said it when I turned
forty five.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
You gotta get tested. Nobody wants to, but I got it.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Especially I didn't know this but especially since what he
said was it's very curable if you catch it early.
That's the most important thing. So catch it early. Just
go get it done.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Go get it done. It's not that bad. And also
go to the blood test dot com.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
And that's a whole other way to do it, so
no excuses to not get it done before I go.
I want to ask you, guys a question. I love
that your loyal listeners have off the Cup and I
know that you come here for that escape from politics.
Believe me, so do I, my friends. I need it
(26:39):
just as badly as you do. But I'm wondering. You know,
we're coming up on a big New York City election
next year's midterms. There's obviously a lot going on. I'm wondering,
and be honest, do you want to talk about politics here?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Is that something you want to hear like a little
bit of in.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
The sort of in the midst of your you know,
the interview and discussions of mental health, or are you
like keep that as far away from us as is
humanly possible.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I truly want to know.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Write us at off the Cup. That's Cup with two
p's at gmail dot com. Off the Cup at gmail
dot com and let me know. Yes politics, no politics.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
I'm listening. I want to know what you think. I'll
do it if you want me to, but only if
you want me to.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Coming up on Off the Cup next week, I sit
down and talk to Lioness and House of Cards actor
Michael Kelly.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
This is so good and I'm so embarrassed because these
kids don't do this perfect. This is why I'm telling
this story.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as
part of the Reason Choice Network. If you want more,
check out the other Reason Choice podcasts, Politics with Jamel
Hill and Native Land pod. For Off the Cup, I'm
your host s E Cup, editing and sound design by
Derek Clements. Our executive producers are me s E Cup,
Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Rate and review wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Follow or subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday.
Host
S.E. Cupp
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