July 23, 2025 • 54 mins
This week, S.E. chats with Jennie Garth! The 90210 star talks about how she maneuvered the Hollywood machine as a teenager, her ups and downs with the industry, and how it was faith in herself that freed herself from the hamster reel. S.E. and Jennie get personal about how they face the fissures in their careers and debate the merits of reinvention. And stay tuned for a nostalgic lightning round! Plus, Jennie shares the skin care she used in the 90s that she still swears by. Check out more of Jennie Garth on the I Choose Me podcast and keep an eye out for her memoir, I Choose Me, out spring 2026.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'm so much more than what people probably think and
when they look at me, especially at that young age
and that position situation I was in. For me, it
was like just I had no doubt in myself.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome to Off the Cup, my personal anti anxiety antidote.
I'm excited for this one.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I love all of.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Our interview guests, of course, but this is a person
who I don't know, but I really admire, and not
just for her work and you know her from huge,
huge television shows like nine O, two and zero and
What I Like About You and so many others, but
for the bravery and wisdom she's shown in deciding very
(00:45):
intentionally and I think courageously to talk about the things
that can be hard to talk about, especially as women, motherhood, divorce,
mental health, reinventing, I love and hate that word, but
we'll get into it up aging. There's so much and
this is what matters. These are the things that matters.
(01:05):
This is what the human condition's about, what we're all
going through, and so I'm so glad that she does
that on her iHeart podcast I Choose Me with Jenny
Garth and in her upcoming book I Choose Me Coming
Out in April twenty twenty six.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Welcome to Off the Cup, Jenny Garth. How are you.
I'm good. I'm really glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm glad i'm here too. You know what, every time
I wake up, I say, I'm glad I'm here.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
All right, There's so much I want to talk to
you about, and I love what you're doing. I'm I'm
in the middle of writing a mental health book about
mine and it's so hard. I'm used to writing about
politics and other people. Did you find it hard to
sort of expose yourself in this way?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Gosh, well, it's weird because I've lived so much of
my previous life with my eyes down and hat down
and looking down and trying not to connect and trying
to out. Someone labeled me a happy recluse once when
I was in my early twenties, and that really stuck
with me, and I decided that's who I am for
the rest of my life. And so I just stopped
(02:12):
connecting with people outside of my home and I decided
I was done with that. I just decided I'm fifty
three now, I've been through a lot. I have so
many things i'd like to share with other women who
are going through similar things. I've learned that social media
can be a terrible thing for my brain, but it
(02:34):
can also be a great thing because it has inspired
me to stay connected with people. People I don't know,
people who comment, people who I run into that say
they follow me or whatever. I feel a strong connection
with them because we are sharing things that you don't
just share with people on the street, you know, Like
I'm choosing to let people into my life in a
(02:59):
way that I probably haven't even let my sisters in
this closely over you know, I mean, after all the
years and all the changes and all the distance between us,
Like I just felt like it was a time for
me to get back to connecting with people and see
how that felt. And so far it's felt amazing.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I love that, and I love hearing that.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I want to get into some of those really meaty
issues that you get into, but first I always like
to start by asking what were you like as a kid?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I was the baby of the family. It was his
hers and ours. I was the ours, so I was
spoiled rotten. And now I have a daughter who's the
baby of the family and she spoiled rotten. So it's
all making sense for me now in completely different ways,
and I'm like, ooh, yeah, I'm spoiling her.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Oops.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
And to the other ones, I'm like sorry, right, but
I was spoiled. And I grew up on a farm,
and you know, I rode a pink, huffy dirt bike. Yep,
I played by myself. I rode my bike through the
cemetery that was on our property. I loved talking to
dead people, picking flowers for all the gravestones. I had
(04:09):
animals all around me. It was like some sort of
fairy tale, quite honestly. And I had, you know, a
bunch of sisters running around and it was just a
very idyllic, quiet, lovely childhood. Thank you Mom and Dad.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, I grew up with steps as well.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
And was there any tension between you and your step siblings.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
No. I think my older sisters were so happy to
be in this new family with my dad, John Garth,
and he sort of enveloped us all. He adopted them all.
You know, we were just so happy to be together,
and there was not I mean, I would get out
(04:56):
of doing chores a lot because we had a horse farm,
horse ranch, and so I would like be like, hey, listen,
I'm not into cleaning the shit up today? Can't I
make you a pie? I would do my I would
barter with my sisters in order for them to not
beat me up or give me wedgies.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Nice, So it's always nice as an option to pay
someone off. So you get to Arizona, you leave Illinois,
you get to Arizona, you sort of get discovered.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
It's such a weird concept.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Today because I know when I was growing up, all
of us thought like maybe we'd be discovered in a
mall or at a concert, and now there's no such discovery.
You just upload yourself to social media and like, wait,
you know, wait for the calls to come. What was
it like to really be like discovered?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Gosh, it was gary because I thought, is this guy
a creep?
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Or what? Like?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Why is he talking to me? Why are my mom
and I taking a meeting with him and his wife?
And I had never ever ever thought of like being
an actress, moving a hall, I would being on TV. Never, No,
And so this was very out of left field for
me and kind of unbelievable. And it was like in
slow motion that the whole process started to happen. I
(06:11):
was discovered at a scholarship pageant. I thought I was
going to be this beautiful dancer. I was very bad
at it now looking back at the tapes. But he
saw something in me and he asked me, you know,
are you taking any acting lessons? And I said no,
I don't have never done that. So he got me
(06:32):
started taking acting lessons in Arizona and I would send
those VHS tapes to him, to him in California, and
he would give me notes and he would talk to
the acting teacher and tell me like what I needed
to work on, and we would do that. And then
eventually he was like, look, you're ready. If you ever
want to move out to LA, here's my card, come
(06:52):
out and we'll see what happens. And so we was like,
you know, a couple months later and we were like, knock, knock, knock. Hi,
it's me, It's Jenny and my mom. We just moved here,
So what do we do now?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
But what was that like, leaving you know, the comfort
of Glendale and moving to Glendale, Arizona and moving moving
to LA you know, at the urging of someone in
the business, right, So it wasn't like you had no
business being there, but you move there and hoping for
the best.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
What was that like?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
It was exciting, it was scary. We didn't know anyone
except Randy James, and it was like an adventure for
my mom and I. So there was that kind of
like bonding thing and she, you know, we started going
to auditions and she would I was like fifteen sixteen,
and you know, I would hold the Thomas Guide map
(07:44):
and tell her where to go all over the city
of Los Angeles. And there were days where we were
just on every corner of the map and so I
learned so much about LA and I there's you know
that those times were so sort of innocent and yeah,
informative in a different way than happens now. So I can, yeah,
(08:05):
get anywhere I want to go in the city on
my own. I don't need the ways singing. But it
was just adventurous, you know, and I thought this is normal.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Were you were you like hyper ambitious, like I want
this and I'm gonna do anything it takes. Or were
you like, look, if this doesn't work out, that's okay,
and I'll figure something else out.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah I was. I have always been a very day
by day person. I've never had like lofty goals of
oh I want to win an Oscar someday, and I
was born to be on stage, like no, I just
am me and if I you know, I somehow got
cast in a few things, just as like you know,
(08:45):
the girl next door or the girl that they could
get to say anything. And you know, I did an
episode of Growing Pains had one line so, oh, we're.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Just buying a little paste time.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Sticky, sticky, sticky, And I was already complaining about it
being a night shoot and that I was cold. So
my manner just like, oh jeez, here we go. But
then I got nine or two on Ozero and the
things just sort of took off on their own. But
I never thought like this is the life I want.
It just everything just happened in my life is all
(09:21):
just unfolded to primarily where I'm sitting here talking to
you right now. Like it's magical like that when you
just sort of let go and let life life, you know,
and and then you end up somewhere and you're like, hey,
I kind of like it here.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
That's an amazing thing to hear.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
And I can't tell you how different we are, I mean,
and I'm envious. I'm so envious of that perspective and
that ability really to just let life unfold. I don't
know why I felt so urgent and desperate to make
the life I wanted happen. But it's really tough because
(10:03):
when you can't, you know, inevitably around some corner is
a thing you can't make happen, or something that's out
of your control. It's really disorienting and deeply traumatizing. And
so it's really nice and refreshing to hear you talk
about intentionally navigating the world that way. And I you know,
(10:24):
when I talk to my son, these are the kinds
of things I tell him. You know, you don't have
to hyper focus on the things you think you want
now because you're not going to be able to control everything.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Right. It's so feutile. It's like, I'm just the kind
of person that's like, oh, there's baby birds, eggs, let
me look at those for a while. Oh, let me
go do an interview for a while, like, oh, let
me learn my lines for this thing. Like I just
go from thing to thing to thing the thing, and
I don't think about you know. I mean, I have
gotten more strategic as a businesswoman, but I haven't ever
(10:58):
spent a lot of time wasting seeing my energy or
spinning my wheels on things that I can control, because
as soon as I do that, I go into like
scarcity mode, you know, like I gotta have it. If
I don't have it, something's wrong. And I have gone
into those places throughout my many years here. But I
found when I go into those scarcity that scarcity mind,
(11:22):
nothing works out. Nothing. It seems like it's gonna happen
for me, and I get real negative and I can
get like, what am I doing? What's my purpose? All
that stuff. So I dappled in that thinking for a while,
and then I realized, you know what, No, I'm just
gonna go back to live in every moment as it
(11:42):
happens and see what happens because it feels better. Yeah,
And I don't have to stress as much. I'm not
gonna get as many wrinkles. Yeah, And I'm just gonna
be happy wherever I am.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Sometimes I can feel complicated. To change your perspective, it's
really not complicated. It's just like exactly what you said.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And when I've.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Exhaled and said, I can't control all the stuff going
on in my career, like my my business right now,
the business of news and politics is insane. It's on fire,
it's changing every minute, and you could not you could
not control your navigation through it if you if you
wanted to. And so when I've sort of just given
into it, You're right, like, that's oddly when the call comes,
(12:24):
like with a new opportunity that's going to solve all
the problems.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Oh, I didn't know, you know, something that was out
there I didn't even know about. You're so right.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, when you're open to things, they flow, and when
you're closed off to things, they strangle. And so for me,
that's been just the key to my life. And I
know it because I've tried it other ways, Yeah, intentionally think,
you know, like or because maybe money wasn't coming in,
(12:52):
and when I started to panic, how am I going to be,
you know, take care of these three girls and what's
going to happen? And I just stopped enjoying anything in
that kind of thinking. You know, I was always stressed, right,
And so I'm just and you said it's easy to do.
People don't know how easy it is. But for me,
it's as easy as just make a choice and go
(13:13):
with it.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I love that it's great advice. You know.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I had Brian Austin Green on too, and I said
the same thing to him that, like, he's already talked
a lot about nine o two one zero and some
of you on nine oh two one OMG, which people love,
and that's great, but we don't need to dwell on it.
There is one thing that I was really interested in, though,
and that was when you got to direct episodes. And
I'm wondering how that happened. Did you ask for those opportunities?
(13:41):
Did they come to you know, you know, did they
ask you to do that? What was what was that like?
And how was it received by other cast members?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
That was Jason broke the seal on that one. They
were incentivizing him, I think, to stay on the show
at a certain point. I don't even know what year.
It was, maybe ninety four or five, sick something in
the middle. Anyways, he started directing and I watched him
and I thought, that looks really fun. That looks really
cool to be at the helm of this whole thing.
(14:12):
And No, they didn't come to me and say, oh please, Jenny,
would you direct an episode? No, that is something when
you want something if you see something as a challenge,
you have to go out and ask for it. And
there's never ever any harm in asking for things because
the worst that someone can say is no. And so
I just went to them and I said, I would
really like an opportunity to do that, and there was
(14:34):
I was the first of the females on the show
to embark on that journey. And also they knew me
as you know, just Jenny and like the girl that
plays Kelly, like fun and you know, no heavy, it's
all you know, easy. So I feel like at first
there probably wasn't as much confidence in me from around me,
(14:55):
but that quickly changed when I was very prepared and
knew exactly what I was doing and I wasn't afraid
to boss people around, you know. I was like, Okay,
it's my turn, and I just went for it.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
What did that feel like, getting it, getting the opportunity,
killing it, and sort of, you know, proving to everyone
you could do that.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
What does that feel like?
Speaker 1 (15:16):
It felt natural? Honestly, I didn't feel like look at
me like, I didn't say like you. I didn't think
like I was proving it to anyone. I just felt
like it was a natural sort of cadence for myself,
and I'm so much more than what people probably think
and when they look at me, especially at that young
age and that position situation I was in. So for me,
(15:38):
it was like just I had no doubt in myself.
I had no doubt that I could do it. And
I think at that point then people just stopped having
any doubt in me or even thinking limiting thoughts about me,
because I clearly wasn't thinking them.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Is Hollywood better for women today than it was then?
You know, I talked to a lot of women in
the business and they'll say, in some ways yeah, but
in some ways no, what's your take on it?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
You know what I've pivoted So I'm not as actress
for hire as I have given you know, the rest
of my life to being. But I think like it's
as it's limiting, it has been limiting it in the nineties,
it was very limiting. But I again don't pay attention
to limiting messages from other people around me. I just
(16:42):
cannot let myself dwell in that or think about that.
And I've also had to get really comfortable with rejection,
with not getting the thing or not having the opportunity,
so many times over the course of my career that
I've learned to just try and if I fail, okay, bye,
(17:03):
that's over behind me. What's next? And so I don't
look at it as this overall, like it's been so
bad for women. Yeah, in the nineties, people were smoking
off camera and the set and men were speaking to
women in very different ways than they do now, thank god.
But I rolled with it. I you know, I was like,
(17:24):
all right, I can handle this, like bring it. But
now just knowing that there are some systems in place,
that there is some yeah, some element of like decorum
or you know, sensibility on set, sensitivity perhaps, and just
knowing that things have changed so much, especially having three daughters,
(17:46):
knowing that when someone comments on your body, that's not okay,
that's not acceptable in this day and age. And it
still happens. Yeah, it does all the time, but we're
allowed to say, you know what, that's I'm not going
to allow that to happen right now because this is
the place for it. But so now just knowing that
my girls have that concept of being able to stand
(18:06):
up for themselves and things that I didn't have, but
I made work somehow, Like I didn't let it eat
away at me or bring me down or make me
feel like shit. Like I just rolled with it and
think what we're doings have changed. But as far as roles,
I mean roles are I think there's roles for everybody
(18:28):
out there. I mean, I haven't gotten hired for one lately,
but mostly by choice really, because I'm not really putting
myself out there in that land pool. I've decided that
I'm not going to sit around and wait for things
to happen for me. As far as business or industry,
I'm more in the place of like it's now or never,
(18:50):
I'm going to make it happen or it's not, and
I'm going to move away and have a goat and
maybe a little dog farm or something.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I don't know, you know, I'm I'm place in my
career as well where I'm not completely in control of
what opportunities I get, and so that's okay. But I
have found that this kind of stuff, which is different
from my job talking to people about mental health, has
actually become so much more fulfilling than the job that
(19:18):
I've been doing. And not that one's better than the other,
but I've just found a new life in this other
area that has nothing to do with the thing I've
done for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Years, right, and doesn't it feel great?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
It feels amazing, But it also makes me, you know,
resent the fact that I still have to like make
money and do the other job, and you know, and
it's it's not just about the money. It's that people
expect me to talk about politics and I'm still you know,
in that loop of that cycle.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I mean, I don't know how you do what you do.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Well, it's it's it's awful now and it wasn't always awful,
and it's just become awful. But you also just don't
want to get off the hamster wheel because you know,
I know very well in my business, if you get
off the hamster wheel, you cannot get back on it.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
And I'd like to reserve the right to get back
on at some point.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
So it's, you know, it's this like balancing act of Okay,
this is the thing I'm loving doing right now. The
other thing is not very fulfilling, but it could become
fulfilling again if things change, and so I'm not willing
to completely leave it, and I also can't afford to.
It's complicated. It's complicated at this age and the stage
of our.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Careers absolutely because you can't, like you said, you cannot
control anything. Yeah, and even if you get off the
hamster wheel, you're gonna still you're going to probably think
why I should be back on a hamster wheel, I'm
missing out or I could have had this opportunity or
that opportunity. But I think, you know, you just reach
a place where you're like, wherever I am, I'm going
(20:54):
to find some opportunity to do something. And that's another
area like when you said you know you can't afford
to do it, I understand what you're saying. I have
been there, I am I can go there again any moment,
Like I understand that fear. But I also that was
one of the big areas for me where I had
(21:14):
to just reel back and say, you know what, money
is going to come to me, whatever I need is
going to come to me. And I had to just
really like, I've never been a faith oriented person. I've
never been a religious person. I've never I've always questioned, like,
why do people believe in the things they believe in,
like Reutigen and those kinds of things, and where do
(21:36):
they find that faith like, oh, like, pray to Jesus
and your dreams are going to come true. I'm like,
I don't. I'm not there and I don't know something
wrong with me that I don't see it that simplistic.
And then there came this point for me where I
got messaging in a different way about basically the same
things that everybody's always talking about, which is love is love,
(21:57):
and like how to you know, take care of your
family and all the things that really matter at the
end of the day. And it made sense to me
in a different way. And all of a sudden, it
was like a light that went off that I was like, oh,
I have faith, Like I honestly, this is what faith
feels like. And when I found that moment, and it
wasn't based on any religious teaching or anything. It came
(22:20):
from within me. I had faith in myself and I
had faith in the fact that everything is always going
to be okay no matter what ends up happening. There's
something about the situation that I will be able to
remind myself, I will be able to be grateful for
whatever it is, and I will remember that, Oh, I
(22:41):
have that faith to carry me forward, I'm not alone anymore.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
That sounds awesome. I want some of that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I'm similarly a skeptic and finding faith and things to
believe in has always been hard for me. And with
my anxiety, I'm the opposite, the verses around every corner.
And you know, I've never had that sense, well, it's
always going to be okay.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
No, it's not for me.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's it's not going to be okay unless I worry
about it, and the worrying about it is going to
prevent the bad thing from happening. It's it's terrible. And
I'm in therapy and working on this. But how's that
working out for you?
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah? Not great? Not great. I mean, listen, my you know,
therapy and medication.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'm so much better than I was at this time
when that was really taking over my thought process. But
the kind of faith you're talking about, the faith in yourself,
has the has been the thing I've had to find
and remind myself. You've always gotten yourself out of, you know,
tough situations, and you were you were always prepared just
by virtue of your experiences, your life experiences, your intelligence,
(23:51):
your ambition. You know, your intuition, you You've always figured
it out. And my my therapist said something to me
recently because I get very nervous for trying, whether I'm
traveling alone or with my family, and she said, you know,
you always get there, and I was like, wow, I
do always get there.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Historically, I have always arrived. I have always gotten to
the place I need to get to.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
And that's the hard thing to remind myself that, like,
I always get there.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
But it's really good advice.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
I love that I had this therapist tell me once
that broke a lot open for me because I spent
a lot of my time as the baby of the family,
the only famous person in the entire area that I
lived in, Like, you know, things were always very different
from me, but I I had the therapist. So I
would always like belittle my everything, like try not to
(24:46):
let my light shine too big, because I didn't ever
want to overshine anymore.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Make yourself smaller exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
And so someone told me once it's okay to be amazing,
It's like what I can. It's okay to like be
my fullest and shine as much as I want to
or can, And that just really opened up something for
me where I was like you know what, We all
have that, right. It's not just me like I'm shining,
(25:15):
you shine, We all shine, and that's you know, why
would you want to live the rest of your life
diminishing yourself or hiding behind someone else or keeping your
eyes down. So that for me was like an aha moment,
It's okay to be amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
That's such a good one too, And you just reminded
me of another one. And this segues into the next
thing I want to ask you about. My therapist one said,
it's okay to be a good enough mom. You don't
have to be a perfect mom. Good Enough is actually
better because you're not modeling perfection and you're not trying
to raise a perfect child. You're trying to raise a
(25:54):
child who is comfortable being good enough himself. And if
you've set a standard for yourself where I've to be
a perfect mom, he's not going to feel like it's
okay to be a good enough kid.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
And that opened so much up.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
For me too, just taking like a weight off myself
and also like a weight off of him.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Right, Yeah, Oh my gosh, my girls have seen me fail,
They've seen me go low, they've seen me go high.
Like they know that it's all part of the game.
You know, it's all part of this wild ride. Yeah,
so good.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Though, Well, I want to talk about motherhood. What was
the biggest challenge when you were working and you had
your your oldest and what's the biggest challenge now.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
As your kids are grown grownish.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
The biggest challenge for me was, I'm just like I'm eternal,
like I when I had that baby, nothing was going
to take it away from me. So I would have
her up at five in the morning going to set
you know, I had to work really hard to get
an environment for her set up where I could be
with her whenever. In between all the takes of me
(27:03):
acting like a little teenage girl, a little young adult
girl sassy on camera, yea, I would like, hi tail
it back to my baby trailer, That's what I called it,
and just spend the time on the floor with her
and you know, feeding her, changing her. So the hard
part for me was allowing myself to go out and
work and not feel guilty about it or not feel
(27:24):
like so pulled in polar opposite directions, and I sort
of settled into that with her, and we got into
a great groove and then I had another one, another daughter,
and I felt the same way automatically again, but she
had her older sister, so it kind of like I
felt like, okay's she's in a great situation and you know,
(27:45):
and she's filling her days with love. So I can
step out for a while and work and come back.
And now with my third daughter, who just graduated from
high school and is about to go to college, which
is so crazy because I've spent the better part of
my life, yeah, either making babies or keeping babies alive
(28:05):
and then and raising them. So now I'm just sort
of like, Okay, there's a lot quiet around me right now,
what do I want to do? And that I think
that's one of the cool things about like this whole
You can call it reinvention, you can call it pivot,
you can call it whatever you want. I don't care.
But at a certain age in a woman's life, we
get to refocus our energy on what we want and
(28:30):
what matters to us. If what does what matter to
us long ago still matter to us, or do we
have a whole new set of things that we're interested
and intrigued by and want to learn from. And so
I'm just really embracing this period of my life, and
it kind of feels like I'm young all over again
in a weird way, without immense responsibilities all day every day,
(28:50):
you know, I have to kind of figure out what's
for dinner and who's going to be here to eat
if that's about it now, you know, And usually I'm like, hey, babe,
what's for dinner. I just put it on him. Yeah,
so it's a good time.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
Yeah, let's talk about reinvention.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Why you say, okay, here's my issue with really, why
I don't like it? Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
It's such an important thing to talk about because when
you reach a place in your career, maybe when you
feel like stalled or plateaued, or undervalued or underused, and
I have been there, it's of course important to reinvent.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
It's necessary to reinvent.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
You've got to just move through it, and you've got
to pivot all the words. But it can be really
hard because sometimes it feels like it's happening to you
like I didn't choose. If it were up to me,
I wouldn't have to do this reinvention or this pivot
right now in my career. I'd still be doing it.
The way I wanted to do it, in the way
you've always wanted me to do it. But now you
(30:03):
know we can cling to our past lives and past
selves because reinvention is disruptive, it's disorienting, it's scary, and
there's no one roadmap to do it.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
So my association, I have an.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Ambivalence toward reinvention because I feel like sometimes it's not
my choice, but I also know how necessary it is
and actually how productive it is to reinvent. But talk
about your your version of reinvention and what that looks like.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Well, first of all, I just would encourage a person
to reframe it's not my choice because guess what, it's
always your choice. Yes, tell me, it's always your choice.
You don't have to do anything that you don't want
to do. You can make anything something you want to
do if you reframe it, you know what I mean,
(30:54):
If you speak about it to yourself differently, if you
speak about it to the world differently, it takes on
a new energy, It takes on a it grounds it
and makes it more authentic for you. So it's not
this like, oh I have to reinvent or I'm not
going to continue to be able to do the things
that I need to do. It's I'm choosing to pivot
(31:16):
a little bit. I'm choosing to look over here instead
of focusing only on this. And so for me, it's
an exciting thing. Like I don't feel it as like
I have to do it, But I understand where you're
coming from, because there are times when we feel like
we have to make a change or we because if
we don't, we're going to get left behind, or we're
going to be become irrelevant or whatever it is to
(31:39):
our families, to our workforce, whatever it is. But it
for me, its just became about reframing things because there's
things I don't want to do and if I keep
talking about them, then it just makes it worse, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
But for me, like I I grew up like watching
this might not even be a good example. But Madonna,
for example, and how her music, her looks changed from
every record, her music seemed to evolve, her makeup would evolve,
Like I was just always watching, like what's the new
look going to be? And how's she going to carry herself?
(32:14):
How she has a British accent. That's cool, Wait, there's
a Gagner teeth. I never knew that, Like, you know,
all these things, and I'm just constantly there was more
unfolding of Madonna, and so I thought, you know what,
that's okay, that's cool. I aspire to just continue unfolding
the way I want and let the world come along
with it, let my family and my friends come along
(32:35):
with that role or not. Like, but I'm here to
live my life, you know, And I feel like I
encourage women to embrace whatever you want to call it
and reinvention the big pivot, you know, I think it
look at as as something exciting and then design it
however you want, because maybe you didn't design how you
(32:58):
got here. Maybe if you're like me, you just ended
up where you are. You ended up with three daughters,
you ended up divorced after seventeen years, You ended up
you know where you are right now.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
But if you.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Look at it a different way and let it just
motivate you to know what you don't want in your
life and then create what you do want in your life.
You know, at this age you can get real clear
about what you don't want in your life and what
you do want in your life, which is the beauty
of aging, and really, I think learning about yourself on
(33:34):
another level.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Of course, it's good advice, Jenny. Of course it's good
advice to reframe the way, of course, of course. And
you're right when I forced myself to reframe maybe a
pivot I didn't want to make and ask myself, was
I even happy fight, you know, with the thing that
(33:58):
I was fighting desperately to keep staying in. No, I wasn't, actually,
And you get to a place sometimes.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
In your career or your life where you're.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Going through the motions it's the only thing you've known,
and you're not asking yourself, am I actually happy here?
Or am I just fighting to remain here because it's
where I'm supposed to be?
Speaker 3 (34:18):
I think?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
And so yeah, letting go of some of the things
I thought I wanted and reframing it is I actually
don't want that thing anymore was super, super helpful. But
it was just hard to get to that point. It
took a lot of work to get to a point
where I could say, like a couple of years to say, Okay,
I actually this is a good shift and it's actually
(34:42):
paying off in ways I couldn't have imagined.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
And but it's hard. It's really hard.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
It's hard. That's why they call it the work. You know,
it's not you know, it's not like going out to lunch.
It's work, and evolving is hard, like a hard times.
My husband and I thank god I've married somebody who
is interested in growing and you know, letting life unfold
as it happens. So we're really kind of on the
(35:08):
journey together. But it's really sometimes we'll be in a
thing and or like, you know, having that moment where
we're like, wait, I need to kind of like check
in and how am I handling the situation? Am I
being the person I want to be right now?
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
And we'll be like, oh, I'm so tired of evolving.
It's so good.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
It's exhausting.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
But guess what, take a break, Go take a break
and then come back to it because it'll be there
waiting for you as well.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
That's so true. Okay, before we get to.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
A lighting round, I want to ask you what it
was like to start on a reality show after having
not done that.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
What was what was that like?
Speaker 2 (35:51):
And I adore reality television, I'm a huge Bravo fan,
but what was it like to have your own reality show.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
I don't even like reality TV. I don't even like
reality shows, So that was a weird thing where the
you know, the everything's rolling and it's rolling in that direction.
And that was like right at the end of my marriage. Honestly,
I was in that really confused and shut down and
hurt and just angry and bitter, all the things you
(36:18):
can be after a divorce like that, or amidst a
divorce like that. And I did not want to do
the show. We had signed on to do it as
a family as my husband and wife move the kids
out of town and they go a little bit country, like,
because it's in my bones to live. Are you talking
about a little bit country right, yes?
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
So for me it was just like about having fun
with the family and then all of a sudden, this
wrench was sort of thrown into it, and I had
to really work hard to even show up at work
for that job. Honestly, Luckily it was shot in my house,
so I didn't have to go far, but it was
it was hard to be in that place of happy
and easy, you know, go with the flow, Jenny. It
(37:00):
was really difficult during that time, but I loved it
and we had a really good time doing it. So
in retrospect, even though it was something I wasn't into
and I didn't want to be doing, I can look
back on it and I can see the fun that
we had and the fun that it gave other people
to watch. Yeah, but for me, it wasn't the best
time to remember.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Yeah, and I can't imagine that.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
But did you go on thinking and you don't have
to answer this if it's too personal, but you know,
did you go on thinking this reality show will be
good for our marriage or did you go on thinking
we're not in such a great place and maybe this
will open up some decisions.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
No, there was no thinking around that. That's something that
we had agreed to do before I even knew that
there was a problem in our marriage. And then all
of a sudden there was a much bigger problem than
I realized, and I was being left. Basically, I was
already in this contract. It was already happening, and it
(38:05):
wasn't something that I could get out of, honestly, And
my ex at the time was also producing it with me,
and that was weird because it wasn't even in it anymore,
and it just was like Okay, let me get through
this moment. I was like, look, I just need to
survive this. And at the same time I'm surviving and
(38:27):
I need to make it look fun for my kids.
I need to look, I need to have some laughter
in their lives. I need them to have some levity.
So we used I used that opportunity the best I
could to keep up appearances for the girls that everything's
fun and it's going to be just continue to be
a fun adventure this life, you know. And I was
really just sort of holding my true emotions and feelings
(38:49):
inside while trying to deliver and also you know, be
a good mom during that very confusing time, cruciating. It
was not the greatest, not the greatest.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
God, Yeah, that's a lot of things happening at once.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
But you got to roll with it, right, But you
got to roll with it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Wof what advice you would give to a young actress,
you know, working today.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Gosh, I would say study first of all. You know,
if I'm of the thinking that if you're going to
be paid to do something, you probably need to know
how to do it, that you need to actually gather
the tools so that you can do your job well.
Whether that's you know, just learning how to be on
a set or have set etiquette, how to memorize your lines,
(39:41):
how to put yourself in that moment as an actress
that you need to be in. But more than that,
as I would appeal to probably the person behind the
desire to become an actress and really let them know
that it's not It doesn't have anything to do with
all of that has everything to do with what's inside
of you and to my you know, just stay authentic
(40:03):
to who you are and don't try to be anything
that you're not because that will never work. Yeah, you
can play different characters, but there's got to be part
of you in each of them. There's got to be
some element of grounding and authenticity for you to be
able to do your job well. And so that would
be what I would tell them. Great, and don't get
(40:25):
caught up in any of the bullshit because it's all bullshit.
It's all approval for nothing. There's people can tell you
all day long how beautiful you are and how wonderful
you were in that scene and how you're perfect and
oh my gosh, and then none of that matters nothing.
You go home, you take your pants off the way
(40:46):
everybody else does you. It's we're all the same, and
so don't allow yourself to ever fall into that thinking
that you're any more special than anybody else.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
That's great advice, And I lied, I have one more
question before a lightning round the mid life because this
just occurred to me. Midlife crisis or whatever you want
to call it, you know, the mid life anxiety, the
mid life angst, to me looks very different for men
than it does for women. And I'm generalizing. You know,
(41:18):
we all know what a male midlife crisis looks like,
and for women it feels much more emotional and inside
of ourselves, you know, and not something we can fix
with a sports car or a younger wife or you know,
something much more deep seated and tricky. And you know,
(41:38):
I have some friends and some people who are in
the public eye in fact, that are women in their
forties or fifties, and they're really like unraveling, like having
a break with reality.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
I'm sure you know some of those two.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
And it's really hard to watch because you know, like
she really needs some help and she's not getting it.
You know, what's your take on what happens to some women?
At this age of life and how we're all trying
to approach it.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I cannot speak to how men handle it. I can,
you know, speak to how I've seen men handle it,
which is similar to what you're describing. But for me,
and I think I'm a pretty like average woman, normal
going through all the things that every other woman goes through.
I feel like for me, I was very stunted in
(42:34):
my personal development, probably because of being an actress and
being so sheltered in the industry that I was in,
and then also going and creating a bubble of a
life that I lived in this like happy marriage with
the picket fence and all the things, and you know
that identity that started to form itself as the mom,
as the wife, as the whatever. And I think at
(42:57):
a certain point, you know, we things break down, things
like shock us, surprise us, disappoint us, break our hearts,
and that's the moment you have to seize that opportunity
as and I fought it. Let me tell you, for years,
I was in what you're talking about. I was in trouble.
(43:17):
I was spiraling, I was drowning. But once I came
up and stopped being so self indulgent, quite honestly, stopped
being a big baby, like I stop stomping my feet
and like resisting everything, and started to look within myself
(43:38):
and do that kind of soul searching work to find
that little girl that I started out with.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
I was born with her and I will die with her.
And I had to get really comfortable with that. That's
just the cards I've been dealt. It's me and her,
meaning my little self. Yeah, and I'm going to take
care of her and she's going to take care of me.
And I had to really figure out how to love
myself in a different way. And I think for women,
(44:07):
especially as you said, they it's a much more internal
process and there's nothing external that could fix it. No
big boobs or I don't know, jewelry whatever, none of
that is going to connect you back to yourself and
that at the end of the day, that connection back
to yourself, the true you, that little girl that you
(44:29):
love so much, that's all that matters. And then from
that point your life just sort of opens up in
a different way and you see different paths as you
go forward. And if you're not, if you're a woman
who's in it, I know it sucks. I just want
(44:49):
women to allow themselves to be in that place of
it sucking. This sucks, and I want women to get
quiet and not try to drown it out with other noises. Right,
sit in your feelings, sit in your discomfort, sit in
your unknowing, and then if you are quiet enough and
you love yourself enough, like getting to that loving yourself
(45:11):
is really hard, so so hard for some people. But
when you get to that place of realizing, hey, it's
me and you kid from here on out, that's the
point where you're like, I've got something to live for,
Like I know, yeah, I have my kids to live for,
and I want that, but it had to be something
more personal for me, even more personal, and that was
(45:31):
you know, I just hope that women give themselves the
opportunity to know that this happens to people. This is normal,
Like this breakdown, these moments of like complete confusion and
despair and you know the things, you don't know what's
going to happen next, that's so normal. Just know in
your core that you're going to get through it. Everything's
going to be okay, and you have the rest of
(45:55):
your life to get whatever you want, Like, you know,
it's just it's again. It kind of feels like it's
like reframing negative thoughts, reframing, you know, maybe some of
the reality than the awful reality that you've experienced in
your life previously. Just making a real concerted effort to
(46:15):
change your story within yourself.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
So great. I'm so glad you're talking about it, because
it is normal.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
But I don't think if we don't talk about it,
people don't think it's normal. People don't feel like it's normal,
and they're like, what's happening to me?
Speaker 3 (46:29):
This is weird?
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Oh God, now you got to talk about it. We've
got to talk about it. So I'm so glad that
you do.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
I thought I was so broken. I thought I was
so broken, and like, you know, different than everybody else,
and why can't I be happy? And what's wrong with me?
And you know, nobody ever look at them. They're so happy.
Everybody's so happy. Everybody's got these lives that I love,
and I just really, for a long time was like
sitting in the bottom of that toilet bowl, going, ugh,
what about you know, what am I going to do?
Speaker 3 (46:56):
Yeah? But it's it.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Let me be like example, you can change it for yourself.
That's good. But you have to do it for yourself
because guess what, you're the only one who can do it.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
That's right, Okay, the as promised lightning, round lightning.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Who do you feel closer to? Kelly Taylor or Val Tyler?
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Kelly Taylor. I think Val was fun, but she was
so anxious and agitated and always like freaking out about
something that took a lot of energy. Kelly was just
getting you know, like stabbed and shot and stalked and
burned and all the things. That's nothing perfect.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
What's the best part of getting older?
Speaker 1 (47:56):
The best part of getting older is the connection you
get back to yourself, that confidence that you never could
quite grasp when you were younger, The knowing of like
who you truly are and what you truly want, and
not worrying about any of the other stuff.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
Love it. What's your best skincare tip?
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Well, obviously wash your face every morning and every night.
I use really great products. I work with a brand
called Paracone MD, which was from the nineties. I don't
know if you anybody remembers it, remember it's still around.
I'm still using it. They have a lot of cool stuff.
I love products, so I'm always trying something new. I
(48:44):
like exfoliating at least once a week.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Yeah you too. I'm on the once a week.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
And then just replenishing it. Yeah, but there's no gadget
I won't buy. Oh light wand will make my I'll
take it. Oh this jiggly thing will my arm fat? Oh,
I'll buy that too, unless it's like too expensive. And
then I'm like, no, I can't do that, but yeah,
I try it all. Just see what works for you.
I just started spraying toner, okay, I making I was
(49:11):
spraying a blend of toner and essential oils, and a
long time ago someone told me, oh, don't put essential
oils on your face. It might enlarge your pores or
give you weird white spots. So I started to notice,
oh my, a few pores are like getting big. What's
going on? And then I thought, I've been putting essential
oils on my face. So I dialed back on that,
and now I'm just using a straight toner. I make
(49:34):
it myself with witch hazel, uh, the witch hazel tonic
whatever that's called. Ye, and then I added hyaluronic acid, right,
and then that's what I spray on my face all
day live like all day.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
I love that I have a big skincare junkie as well,
and I'll buy it all if it's not too expensive,
Like I've got the red light therapy masks.
Speaker 1 (49:54):
Do you have beautiful skin?
Speaker 2 (49:55):
They thank you, you do too, But I, you know,
I work at it a lot and buy a lot
of things. And I actually it made me feel better
to like dive into the science of these things, like, Okay,
what's actually.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
Being absorbed by the skin here?
Speaker 2 (50:09):
Like right, you know, topical collagen is not actually getting
absorbed into my skin, so I have to eat it,
you know. Like figuring out the science made me feel
like a better skincare consumer. And also like I wasn't
getting scammed every five seconds by an influenced by every
product I would see.
Speaker 1 (50:28):
Yeah, exactly. Also it's like the realization that this is
my skin for the rest of my life, right, like
I have got to take.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Care of it, yeah, which I didn't do until I
turned forty.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
I did not.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
I was an ivory or like a dove soap girl
until my forties, like no products, none, and I'd go
to one and they would put you know, makeup on
and do all that.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
So I never thought about it until my forties and
then I got obsessed.
Speaker 2 (50:56):
Yeah good, Okay, what's the best vacation you ever took?
Speaker 3 (51:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (51:02):
Well, it was a recent one. It was we went
to Saint Lucia Nice, which is a little island, and
we it was just the girls and my husband and me,
and it was just so no plans, just go with
the flow and we just had the best time. I
(51:22):
think that's one of my favorite things to do whenever
we go away, is to not plan anything. There's no
like sightseeing tour or any you know, grit all of
tasting whatever. It's just get up, go outside, see what
beckons you and go that direction. And that's what we did,
and those are my favorite kind of holidays.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
Yeah, magical.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
What's the best teen drama of all time? Besides nine
O two and zero woo?
Speaker 1 (51:52):
I didn't watch many others because I was working fourteen, sixteen,
eighteen hours a day, so I didn't, but I really
when my girls were little, we loved watching Lizzie McGuire.
Uh huh. They I loved Fame, you remember that show,
Fame from New York City and dancers, and since I
(52:13):
always thought, oh I want to be a dancer, I
loved that show Fame.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
It's a good one. I think my favorite was My
So called Life, but it was like one season. It
was way too short.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Yeah I didn't watch it, but I know everybody loved it. Yeah,
it's good.
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Party of Five was good.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
Never saw honestly was obsessed with.
Speaker 3 (52:30):
Nine to two and O two and then the other
general like the Next Generation had Gossip Girl and The
OC and I didn't watch those.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
But if nineties television were having a prom, who would
King and Queen be?
Speaker 1 (52:43):
Well, I would say Brandon and Kelly just because, but
I kind of the person in me that wants to
be like, you know, oh no, let your light shine,
I would go ahead and say David and Donna.
Speaker 3 (52:58):
Oh that's cute.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Yeah, they were a great couple. They were a great couple. Okay,
this is the last question. It's the most important question
to me. We ask it at the end of every podcast.
When is it iced coffee season? Never tell me more?
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Sorry, yeah, uh, I don't like iced coffee. I don't
like coffee. I don't drink coffee. I think I'm like
a weird person. But no, I drink tea. And if
I ever have a tea, it's gonna be hot, yep, okay, yeah,
we're yss hold please yeah, when it's summer, you I
could switch to an iced tea. You're right, when it's.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Really hot, okay.
Speaker 1 (53:41):
But sometimes even when it's really hot, I need a
hot tea.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
But never an iced coffee.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
No, no, no, no, never a nice coffee.
Speaker 3 (53:47):
Sorry, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
We've had this answer before. It's the incorrect answer, but
we've had it before. It's fine, You're still we still
love you. Jenny Garth, thank you so much for coming
on Off Cup. This is really really great and I
loved I loved all of your advice.
Speaker 3 (54:04):
Truly.
Speaker 1 (54:04):
I love talking to you. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
Coming up next week on Off the Cup, I talk
to Ricky Lake.
Speaker 5 (54:12):
I love like the reinventions that I've had. I thrive
on just trying new things, proving myself to myself and
to others that I can like make a documentary that's
going to actually kind of change the world.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as
part of the Reason Choice Network. If you want more,
check out the other Reason Choice podcasts Spolitics with Jamel
Hill and Native Land Pod. For Off the Cup, I
am your host, Si Cup, editing and sound design by
Derek Clements.
Speaker 3 (54:40):
Our executive producers are.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
Me Si Coup, Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman. Rate and
review wherever you get your podcasts. Follow or subscribe for
new episodes every Wednesday,
I'm so much more than what people probably think and
when they look at me, especially at that young age
and that position situation I was in. For me, it
was like just I had no doubt in myself.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome to Off the Cup, my personal anti anxiety antidote.
I'm excited for this one.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I love all of.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Our interview guests, of course, but this is a person
who I don't know, but I really admire, and not
just for her work and you know her from huge,
huge television shows like nine O, two and zero and
What I Like About You and so many others, but
for the bravery and wisdom she's shown in deciding very
(00:45):
intentionally and I think courageously to talk about the things
that can be hard to talk about, especially as women, motherhood, divorce,
mental health, reinventing, I love and hate that word, but
we'll get into it up aging. There's so much and
this is what matters. These are the things that matters.
(01:05):
This is what the human condition's about, what we're all
going through, and so I'm so glad that she does
that on her iHeart podcast I Choose Me with Jenny
Garth and in her upcoming book I Choose Me Coming
Out in April twenty twenty six.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Welcome to Off the Cup, Jenny Garth. How are you.
I'm good. I'm really glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm glad i'm here too. You know what, every time
I wake up, I say, I'm glad I'm here.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
All right, There's so much I want to talk to
you about, and I love what you're doing. I'm I'm
in the middle of writing a mental health book about
mine and it's so hard. I'm used to writing about
politics and other people. Did you find it hard to
sort of expose yourself in this way?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Gosh, well, it's weird because I've lived so much of
my previous life with my eyes down and hat down
and looking down and trying not to connect and trying
to out. Someone labeled me a happy recluse once when
I was in my early twenties, and that really stuck
with me, and I decided that's who I am for
the rest of my life. And so I just stopped
(02:12):
connecting with people outside of my home and I decided
I was done with that. I just decided I'm fifty
three now, I've been through a lot. I have so
many things i'd like to share with other women who
are going through similar things. I've learned that social media
can be a terrible thing for my brain, but it
(02:34):
can also be a great thing because it has inspired
me to stay connected with people. People I don't know,
people who comment, people who I run into that say
they follow me or whatever. I feel a strong connection
with them because we are sharing things that you don't
just share with people on the street, you know, Like
I'm choosing to let people into my life in a
(02:59):
way that I probably haven't even let my sisters in
this closely over you know, I mean, after all the
years and all the changes and all the distance between us,
Like I just felt like it was a time for
me to get back to connecting with people and see
how that felt. And so far it's felt amazing.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I love that, and I love hearing that.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I want to get into some of those really meaty
issues that you get into, but first I always like
to start by asking what were you like as a kid?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I was the baby of the family. It was his
hers and ours. I was the ours, so I was
spoiled rotten. And now I have a daughter who's the
baby of the family and she spoiled rotten. So it's
all making sense for me now in completely different ways,
and I'm like, ooh, yeah, I'm spoiling her.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Oops.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
And to the other ones, I'm like sorry, right, but
I was spoiled. And I grew up on a farm,
and you know, I rode a pink, huffy dirt bike. Yep,
I played by myself. I rode my bike through the
cemetery that was on our property. I loved talking to
dead people, picking flowers for all the gravestones. I had
(04:09):
animals all around me. It was like some sort of
fairy tale, quite honestly. And I had, you know, a
bunch of sisters running around and it was just a
very idyllic, quiet, lovely childhood. Thank you Mom and Dad.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, I grew up with steps as well.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
And was there any tension between you and your step siblings.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
No. I think my older sisters were so happy to
be in this new family with my dad, John Garth,
and he sort of enveloped us all. He adopted them all.
You know, we were just so happy to be together,
and there was not I mean, I would get out
(04:56):
of doing chores a lot because we had a horse farm,
horse ranch, and so I would like be like, hey, listen,
I'm not into cleaning the shit up today? Can't I
make you a pie? I would do my I would
barter with my sisters in order for them to not
beat me up or give me wedgies.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Nice, So it's always nice as an option to pay
someone off. So you get to Arizona, you leave Illinois,
you get to Arizona, you sort of get discovered.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
It's such a weird concept.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Today because I know when I was growing up, all
of us thought like maybe we'd be discovered in a
mall or at a concert, and now there's no such discovery.
You just upload yourself to social media and like, wait,
you know, wait for the calls to come. What was
it like to really be like discovered?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Gosh, it was gary because I thought, is this guy
a creep?
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Or what? Like?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Why is he talking to me? Why are my mom
and I taking a meeting with him and his wife?
And I had never ever ever thought of like being
an actress, moving a hall, I would being on TV. Never, No,
And so this was very out of left field for
me and kind of unbelievable. And it was like in
slow motion that the whole process started to happen. I
(06:11):
was discovered at a scholarship pageant. I thought I was
going to be this beautiful dancer. I was very bad
at it now looking back at the tapes. But he
saw something in me and he asked me, you know,
are you taking any acting lessons? And I said no,
I don't have never done that. So he got me
(06:32):
started taking acting lessons in Arizona and I would send
those VHS tapes to him, to him in California, and
he would give me notes and he would talk to
the acting teacher and tell me like what I needed
to work on, and we would do that. And then
eventually he was like, look, you're ready. If you ever
want to move out to LA, here's my card, come
(06:52):
out and we'll see what happens. And so we was like,
you know, a couple months later and we were like, knock, knock, knock. Hi,
it's me, It's Jenny and my mom. We just moved here,
So what do we do now?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
But what was that like, leaving you know, the comfort
of Glendale and moving to Glendale, Arizona and moving moving
to LA you know, at the urging of someone in
the business, right, So it wasn't like you had no
business being there, but you move there and hoping for
the best.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
What was that like?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
It was exciting, it was scary. We didn't know anyone
except Randy James, and it was like an adventure for
my mom and I. So there was that kind of
like bonding thing and she, you know, we started going
to auditions and she would I was like fifteen sixteen,
and you know, I would hold the Thomas Guide map
(07:44):
and tell her where to go all over the city
of Los Angeles. And there were days where we were
just on every corner of the map and so I
learned so much about LA and I there's you know
that those times were so sort of innocent and yeah,
informative in a different way than happens now. So I can, yeah,
(08:05):
get anywhere I want to go in the city on
my own. I don't need the ways singing. But it
was just adventurous, you know, and I thought this is normal.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Were you were you like hyper ambitious, like I want
this and I'm gonna do anything it takes. Or were
you like, look, if this doesn't work out, that's okay,
and I'll figure something else out.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah I was. I have always been a very day
by day person. I've never had like lofty goals of
oh I want to win an Oscar someday, and I
was born to be on stage, like no, I just
am me and if I you know, I somehow got
cast in a few things, just as like you know,
(08:45):
the girl next door or the girl that they could
get to say anything. And you know, I did an
episode of Growing Pains had one line so, oh, we're.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Just buying a little paste time.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Sticky, sticky, sticky, And I was already complaining about it
being a night shoot and that I was cold. So
my manner just like, oh jeez, here we go. But
then I got nine or two on Ozero and the
things just sort of took off on their own. But
I never thought like this is the life I want.
It just everything just happened in my life is all
(09:21):
just unfolded to primarily where I'm sitting here talking to
you right now. Like it's magical like that when you
just sort of let go and let life life, you know,
and and then you end up somewhere and you're like, hey,
I kind of like it here.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
That's an amazing thing to hear.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
And I can't tell you how different we are, I mean,
and I'm envious. I'm so envious of that perspective and
that ability really to just let life unfold. I don't
know why I felt so urgent and desperate to make
the life I wanted happen. But it's really tough because
(10:03):
when you can't, you know, inevitably around some corner is
a thing you can't make happen, or something that's out
of your control. It's really disorienting and deeply traumatizing. And
so it's really nice and refreshing to hear you talk
about intentionally navigating the world that way. And I you know,
(10:24):
when I talk to my son, these are the kinds
of things I tell him. You know, you don't have
to hyper focus on the things you think you want
now because you're not going to be able to control everything.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Right. It's so feutile. It's like, I'm just the kind
of person that's like, oh, there's baby birds, eggs, let
me look at those for a while. Oh, let me
go do an interview for a while, like, oh, let
me learn my lines for this thing. Like I just
go from thing to thing to thing the thing, and
I don't think about you know. I mean, I have
gotten more strategic as a businesswoman, but I haven't ever
(10:58):
spent a lot of time wasting seeing my energy or
spinning my wheels on things that I can control, because
as soon as I do that, I go into like
scarcity mode, you know, like I gotta have it. If
I don't have it, something's wrong. And I have gone
into those places throughout my many years here. But I
found when I go into those scarcity that scarcity mind,
(11:22):
nothing works out. Nothing. It seems like it's gonna happen
for me, and I get real negative and I can
get like, what am I doing? What's my purpose? All
that stuff. So I dappled in that thinking for a while,
and then I realized, you know what, No, I'm just
gonna go back to live in every moment as it
(11:42):
happens and see what happens because it feels better. Yeah,
And I don't have to stress as much. I'm not
gonna get as many wrinkles. Yeah, And I'm just gonna
be happy wherever I am.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Sometimes I can feel complicated. To change your perspective, it's
really not complicated. It's just like exactly what you said.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And when I've.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Exhaled and said, I can't control all the stuff going
on in my career, like my my business right now,
the business of news and politics is insane. It's on fire,
it's changing every minute, and you could not you could
not control your navigation through it if you if you
wanted to. And so when I've sort of just given
into it, You're right, like, that's oddly when the call comes,
(12:24):
like with a new opportunity that's going to solve all
the problems.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Oh, I didn't know, you know, something that was out
there I didn't even know about. You're so right.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, when you're open to things, they flow, and when
you're closed off to things, they strangle. And so for me,
that's been just the key to my life. And I
know it because I've tried it other ways, Yeah, intentionally think,
you know, like or because maybe money wasn't coming in,
(12:52):
and when I started to panic, how am I going to be,
you know, take care of these three girls and what's
going to happen? And I just stopped enjoying anything in
that kind of thinking. You know, I was always stressed, right,
And so I'm just and you said it's easy to do.
People don't know how easy it is. But for me,
it's as easy as just make a choice and go
(13:13):
with it.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I love that it's great advice. You know.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I had Brian Austin Green on too, and I said
the same thing to him that, like, he's already talked
a lot about nine o two one zero and some
of you on nine oh two one OMG, which people love,
and that's great, but we don't need to dwell on it.
There is one thing that I was really interested in, though,
and that was when you got to direct episodes. And
I'm wondering how that happened. Did you ask for those opportunities?
(13:41):
Did they come to you know, you know, did they
ask you to do that? What was what was that like?
And how was it received by other cast members?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
That was Jason broke the seal on that one. They
were incentivizing him, I think, to stay on the show
at a certain point. I don't even know what year.
It was, maybe ninety four or five, sick something in
the middle. Anyways, he started directing and I watched him
and I thought, that looks really fun. That looks really
cool to be at the helm of this whole thing.
(14:12):
And No, they didn't come to me and say, oh please, Jenny,
would you direct an episode? No, that is something when
you want something if you see something as a challenge,
you have to go out and ask for it. And
there's never ever any harm in asking for things because
the worst that someone can say is no. And so
I just went to them and I said, I would
really like an opportunity to do that, and there was
(14:34):
I was the first of the females on the show
to embark on that journey. And also they knew me
as you know, just Jenny and like the girl that
plays Kelly, like fun and you know, no heavy, it's
all you know, easy. So I feel like at first
there probably wasn't as much confidence in me from around me,
(14:55):
but that quickly changed when I was very prepared and
knew exactly what I was doing and I wasn't afraid
to boss people around, you know. I was like, Okay,
it's my turn, and I just went for it.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
What did that feel like, getting it, getting the opportunity,
killing it, and sort of, you know, proving to everyone
you could do that.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
What does that feel like?
Speaker 1 (15:16):
It felt natural? Honestly, I didn't feel like look at
me like, I didn't say like you. I didn't think
like I was proving it to anyone. I just felt
like it was a natural sort of cadence for myself,
and I'm so much more than what people probably think
and when they look at me, especially at that young
age and that position situation I was in. So for me,
(15:38):
it was like just I had no doubt in myself.
I had no doubt that I could do it. And
I think at that point then people just stopped having
any doubt in me or even thinking limiting thoughts about me,
because I clearly wasn't thinking them.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Is Hollywood better for women today than it was then?
You know, I talked to a lot of women in
the business and they'll say, in some ways yeah, but
in some ways no, what's your take on it?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
You know what I've pivoted So I'm not as actress
for hire as I have given you know, the rest
of my life to being. But I think like it's
as it's limiting, it has been limiting it in the nineties,
it was very limiting. But I again don't pay attention
to limiting messages from other people around me. I just
(16:42):
cannot let myself dwell in that or think about that.
And I've also had to get really comfortable with rejection,
with not getting the thing or not having the opportunity,
so many times over the course of my career that
I've learned to just try and if I fail, okay, bye,
(17:03):
that's over behind me. What's next? And so I don't
look at it as this overall, like it's been so
bad for women. Yeah, in the nineties, people were smoking
off camera and the set and men were speaking to
women in very different ways than they do now, thank god.
But I rolled with it. I you know, I was like,
(17:24):
all right, I can handle this, like bring it. But
now just knowing that there are some systems in place,
that there is some yeah, some element of like decorum
or you know, sensibility on set, sensitivity perhaps, and just
knowing that things have changed so much, especially having three daughters,
(17:46):
knowing that when someone comments on your body, that's not okay,
that's not acceptable in this day and age. And it
still happens. Yeah, it does all the time, but we're
allowed to say, you know what, that's I'm not going
to allow that to happen right now because this is
the place for it. But so now just knowing that
my girls have that concept of being able to stand
(18:06):
up for themselves and things that I didn't have, but
I made work somehow, Like I didn't let it eat
away at me or bring me down or make me
feel like shit. Like I just rolled with it and
think what we're doings have changed. But as far as roles,
I mean roles are I think there's roles for everybody
(18:28):
out there. I mean, I haven't gotten hired for one lately,
but mostly by choice really, because I'm not really putting
myself out there in that land pool. I've decided that
I'm not going to sit around and wait for things
to happen for me. As far as business or industry,
I'm more in the place of like it's now or never,
(18:50):
I'm going to make it happen or it's not, and
I'm going to move away and have a goat and
maybe a little dog farm or something.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I don't know, you know, I'm I'm place in my
career as well where I'm not completely in control of
what opportunities I get, and so that's okay. But I
have found that this kind of stuff, which is different
from my job talking to people about mental health, has
actually become so much more fulfilling than the job that
(19:18):
I've been doing. And not that one's better than the other,
but I've just found a new life in this other
area that has nothing to do with the thing I've
done for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Years, right, and doesn't it feel great?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
It feels amazing, But it also makes me, you know,
resent the fact that I still have to like make
money and do the other job, and you know, and
it's it's not just about the money. It's that people
expect me to talk about politics and I'm still you know,
in that loop of that cycle.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I mean, I don't know how you do what you do.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Well, it's it's it's awful now and it wasn't always awful,
and it's just become awful. But you also just don't
want to get off the hamster wheel because you know,
I know very well in my business, if you get
off the hamster wheel, you cannot get back on it.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
And I'd like to reserve the right to get back
on at some point.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
So it's, you know, it's this like balancing act of Okay,
this is the thing I'm loving doing right now. The
other thing is not very fulfilling, but it could become
fulfilling again if things change, and so I'm not willing
to completely leave it, and I also can't afford to.
It's complicated. It's complicated at this age and the stage
of our.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Careers absolutely because you can't, like you said, you cannot
control anything. Yeah, and even if you get off the
hamster wheel, you're gonna still you're going to probably think
why I should be back on a hamster wheel, I'm
missing out or I could have had this opportunity or
that opportunity. But I think, you know, you just reach
a place where you're like, wherever I am, I'm going
(20:54):
to find some opportunity to do something. And that's another
area like when you said you know you can't afford
to do it, I understand what you're saying. I have
been there, I am I can go there again any moment,
Like I understand that fear. But I also that was
one of the big areas for me where I had
(21:14):
to just reel back and say, you know what, money
is going to come to me, whatever I need is
going to come to me. And I had to just
really like, I've never been a faith oriented person. I've
never been a religious person. I've never I've always questioned, like,
why do people believe in the things they believe in,
like Reutigen and those kinds of things, and where do
(21:36):
they find that faith like, oh, like, pray to Jesus
and your dreams are going to come true. I'm like,
I don't. I'm not there and I don't know something
wrong with me that I don't see it that simplistic.
And then there came this point for me where I
got messaging in a different way about basically the same
things that everybody's always talking about, which is love is love,
(21:57):
and like how to you know, take care of your
family and all the things that really matter at the
end of the day. And it made sense to me
in a different way. And all of a sudden, it
was like a light that went off that I was like, oh,
I have faith, Like I honestly, this is what faith
feels like. And when I found that moment, and it
wasn't based on any religious teaching or anything. It came
(22:20):
from within me. I had faith in myself and I
had faith in the fact that everything is always going
to be okay no matter what ends up happening. There's
something about the situation that I will be able to
remind myself, I will be able to be grateful for
whatever it is, and I will remember that, Oh, I
(22:41):
have that faith to carry me forward, I'm not alone anymore.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
That sounds awesome. I want some of that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I'm similarly a skeptic and finding faith and things to
believe in has always been hard for me. And with
my anxiety, I'm the opposite, the verses around every corner.
And you know, I've never had that sense, well, it's
always going to be okay.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
No, it's not for me.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's it's not going to be okay unless I worry
about it, and the worrying about it is going to
prevent the bad thing from happening. It's it's terrible. And
I'm in therapy and working on this. But how's that
working out for you?
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah? Not great? Not great. I mean, listen, my you know,
therapy and medication.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'm so much better than I was at this time
when that was really taking over my thought process. But
the kind of faith you're talking about, the faith in yourself,
has the has been the thing I've had to find
and remind myself. You've always gotten yourself out of, you know,
tough situations, and you were you were always prepared just
by virtue of your experiences, your life experiences, your intelligence,
(23:51):
your ambition. You know, your intuition, you You've always figured
it out. And my my therapist said something to me
recently because I get very nervous for trying, whether I'm
traveling alone or with my family, and she said, you know,
you always get there, and I was like, wow, I
do always get there.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Historically, I have always arrived. I have always gotten to
the place I need to get to.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
And that's the hard thing to remind myself that, like,
I always get there.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
But it's really good advice.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
I love that I had this therapist tell me once
that broke a lot open for me because I spent
a lot of my time as the baby of the family,
the only famous person in the entire area that I
lived in, Like, you know, things were always very different
from me, but I I had the therapist. So I
would always like belittle my everything, like try not to
(24:46):
let my light shine too big, because I didn't ever
want to overshine anymore.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Make yourself smaller exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
And so someone told me once it's okay to be amazing,
It's like what I can. It's okay to like be
my fullest and shine as much as I want to
or can, And that just really opened up something for
me where I was like you know what, We all
have that, right. It's not just me like I'm shining,
(25:15):
you shine, We all shine, and that's you know, why
would you want to live the rest of your life
diminishing yourself or hiding behind someone else or keeping your
eyes down. So that for me was like an aha moment,
It's okay to be amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
That's such a good one too, And you just reminded
me of another one. And this segues into the next
thing I want to ask you about. My therapist one said,
it's okay to be a good enough mom. You don't
have to be a perfect mom. Good Enough is actually
better because you're not modeling perfection and you're not trying
to raise a perfect child. You're trying to raise a
(25:54):
child who is comfortable being good enough himself. And if
you've set a standard for yourself where I've to be
a perfect mom, he's not going to feel like it's
okay to be a good enough kid.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
And that opened so much up.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
For me too, just taking like a weight off myself
and also like a weight off of him.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Right, Yeah, Oh my gosh, my girls have seen me fail,
They've seen me go low, they've seen me go high.
Like they know that it's all part of the game.
You know, it's all part of this wild ride. Yeah,
so good.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Though, Well, I want to talk about motherhood. What was
the biggest challenge when you were working and you had
your your oldest and what's the biggest challenge now.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
As your kids are grown grownish.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
The biggest challenge for me was, I'm just like I'm eternal,
like I when I had that baby, nothing was going
to take it away from me. So I would have
her up at five in the morning going to set
you know, I had to work really hard to get
an environment for her set up where I could be
with her whenever. In between all the takes of me
(27:03):
acting like a little teenage girl, a little young adult
girl sassy on camera, yea, I would like, hi tail
it back to my baby trailer, That's what I called it,
and just spend the time on the floor with her
and you know, feeding her, changing her. So the hard
part for me was allowing myself to go out and
work and not feel guilty about it or not feel
(27:24):
like so pulled in polar opposite directions, and I sort
of settled into that with her, and we got into
a great groove and then I had another one, another daughter,
and I felt the same way automatically again, but she
had her older sister, so it kind of like I
felt like, okay's she's in a great situation and you know,
(27:45):
and she's filling her days with love. So I can
step out for a while and work and come back.
And now with my third daughter, who just graduated from
high school and is about to go to college, which
is so crazy because I've spent the better part of
my life, yeah, either making babies or keeping babies alive
(28:05):
and then and raising them. So now I'm just sort
of like, Okay, there's a lot quiet around me right now,
what do I want to do? And that I think
that's one of the cool things about like this whole
You can call it reinvention, you can call it pivot,
you can call it whatever you want. I don't care.
But at a certain age in a woman's life, we
get to refocus our energy on what we want and
(28:30):
what matters to us. If what does what matter to
us long ago still matter to us, or do we
have a whole new set of things that we're interested
and intrigued by and want to learn from. And so
I'm just really embracing this period of my life, and
it kind of feels like I'm young all over again
in a weird way, without immense responsibilities all day every day,
(28:50):
you know, I have to kind of figure out what's
for dinner and who's going to be here to eat
if that's about it now, you know, And usually I'm like, hey, babe,
what's for dinner. I just put it on him. Yeah,
so it's a good time.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
Yeah, let's talk about reinvention.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Why you say, okay, here's my issue with really, why
I don't like it? Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
It's such an important thing to talk about because when
you reach a place in your career, maybe when you
feel like stalled or plateaued, or undervalued or underused, and
I have been there, it's of course important to reinvent.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
It's necessary to reinvent.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
You've got to just move through it, and you've got
to pivot all the words. But it can be really
hard because sometimes it feels like it's happening to you
like I didn't choose. If it were up to me,
I wouldn't have to do this reinvention or this pivot
right now in my career. I'd still be doing it.
The way I wanted to do it, in the way
you've always wanted me to do it. But now you
(30:03):
know we can cling to our past lives and past
selves because reinvention is disruptive, it's disorienting, it's scary, and
there's no one roadmap to do it.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
So my association, I have an.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Ambivalence toward reinvention because I feel like sometimes it's not
my choice, but I also know how necessary it is
and actually how productive it is to reinvent. But talk
about your your version of reinvention and what that looks like.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Well, first of all, I just would encourage a person
to reframe it's not my choice because guess what, it's
always your choice. Yes, tell me, it's always your choice.
You don't have to do anything that you don't want
to do. You can make anything something you want to
do if you reframe it, you know what I mean,
(30:54):
If you speak about it to yourself differently, if you
speak about it to the world differently, it takes on
a new energy, It takes on a it grounds it
and makes it more authentic for you. So it's not
this like, oh I have to reinvent or I'm not
going to continue to be able to do the things
that I need to do. It's I'm choosing to pivot
(31:16):
a little bit. I'm choosing to look over here instead
of focusing only on this. And so for me, it's
an exciting thing. Like I don't feel it as like
I have to do it, But I understand where you're
coming from, because there are times when we feel like
we have to make a change or we because if
we don't, we're going to get left behind, or we're
going to be become irrelevant or whatever it is to
(31:39):
our families, to our workforce, whatever it is. But it
for me, its just became about reframing things because there's
things I don't want to do and if I keep
talking about them, then it just makes it worse, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
But for me, like I I grew up like watching
this might not even be a good example. But Madonna,
for example, and how her music, her looks changed from
every record, her music seemed to evolve, her makeup would evolve,
Like I was just always watching, like what's the new
look going to be? And how's she going to carry herself?
(32:14):
How she has a British accent. That's cool, Wait, there's
a Gagner teeth. I never knew that, Like, you know,
all these things, and I'm just constantly there was more
unfolding of Madonna, and so I thought, you know what,
that's okay, that's cool. I aspire to just continue unfolding
the way I want and let the world come along
with it, let my family and my friends come along
(32:35):
with that role or not. Like, but I'm here to
live my life, you know, And I feel like I
encourage women to embrace whatever you want to call it
and reinvention the big pivot, you know, I think it
look at as as something exciting and then design it
however you want, because maybe you didn't design how you
(32:58):
got here. Maybe if you're like me, you just ended
up where you are. You ended up with three daughters,
you ended up divorced after seventeen years, You ended up
you know where you are right now.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
But if you.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Look at it a different way and let it just
motivate you to know what you don't want in your
life and then create what you do want in your life.
You know, at this age you can get real clear
about what you don't want in your life and what
you do want in your life, which is the beauty
of aging, and really, I think learning about yourself on
(33:34):
another level.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Of course, it's good advice, Jenny. Of course it's good
advice to reframe the way, of course, of course. And
you're right when I forced myself to reframe maybe a
pivot I didn't want to make and ask myself, was
I even happy fight, you know, with the thing that
(33:58):
I was fighting desperately to keep staying in. No, I wasn't, actually,
And you get to a place sometimes.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
In your career or your life where you're.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Going through the motions it's the only thing you've known,
and you're not asking yourself, am I actually happy here?
Or am I just fighting to remain here because it's
where I'm supposed to be?
Speaker 3 (34:18):
I think?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
And so yeah, letting go of some of the things
I thought I wanted and reframing it is I actually
don't want that thing anymore was super, super helpful. But
it was just hard to get to that point. It
took a lot of work to get to a point
where I could say, like a couple of years to say, Okay,
I actually this is a good shift and it's actually
(34:42):
paying off in ways I couldn't have imagined.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
And but it's hard. It's really hard.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
It's hard. That's why they call it the work. You know,
it's not you know, it's not like going out to lunch.
It's work, and evolving is hard, like a hard times.
My husband and I thank god I've married somebody who
is interested in growing and you know, letting life unfold
as it happens. So we're really kind of on the
(35:08):
journey together. But it's really sometimes we'll be in a
thing and or like, you know, having that moment where
we're like, wait, I need to kind of like check
in and how am I handling the situation? Am I
being the person I want to be right now?
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
And we'll be like, oh, I'm so tired of evolving.
It's so good.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
It's exhausting.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
But guess what, take a break, Go take a break
and then come back to it because it'll be there
waiting for you as well.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
That's so true. Okay, before we get to.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
A lighting round, I want to ask you what it
was like to start on a reality show after having
not done that.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
What was what was that like?
Speaker 2 (35:51):
And I adore reality television, I'm a huge Bravo fan,
but what was it like to have your own reality show.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
I don't even like reality TV. I don't even like
reality shows, So that was a weird thing where the
you know, the everything's rolling and it's rolling in that direction.
And that was like right at the end of my marriage. Honestly,
I was in that really confused and shut down and
hurt and just angry and bitter, all the things you
(36:18):
can be after a divorce like that, or amidst a
divorce like that. And I did not want to do
the show. We had signed on to do it as
a family as my husband and wife move the kids
out of town and they go a little bit country, like,
because it's in my bones to live. Are you talking
about a little bit country right, yes?
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
So for me it was just like about having fun
with the family and then all of a sudden, this
wrench was sort of thrown into it, and I had
to really work hard to even show up at work
for that job. Honestly, Luckily it was shot in my house,
so I didn't have to go far, but it was
it was hard to be in that place of happy
and easy, you know, go with the flow, Jenny. It
(37:00):
was really difficult during that time, but I loved it
and we had a really good time doing it. So
in retrospect, even though it was something I wasn't into
and I didn't want to be doing, I can look
back on it and I can see the fun that
we had and the fun that it gave other people
to watch. Yeah, but for me, it wasn't the best
time to remember.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Yeah, and I can't imagine that.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
But did you go on thinking and you don't have
to answer this if it's too personal, but you know,
did you go on thinking this reality show will be
good for our marriage or did you go on thinking
we're not in such a great place and maybe this
will open up some decisions.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
No, there was no thinking around that. That's something that
we had agreed to do before I even knew that
there was a problem in our marriage. And then all
of a sudden there was a much bigger problem than
I realized, and I was being left. Basically, I was
already in this contract. It was already happening, and it
(38:05):
wasn't something that I could get out of, honestly, And
my ex at the time was also producing it with me,
and that was weird because it wasn't even in it anymore,
and it just was like Okay, let me get through
this moment. I was like, look, I just need to
survive this. And at the same time I'm surviving and
(38:27):
I need to make it look fun for my kids.
I need to look, I need to have some laughter
in their lives. I need them to have some levity.
So we used I used that opportunity the best I
could to keep up appearances for the girls that everything's
fun and it's going to be just continue to be
a fun adventure this life, you know. And I was
really just sort of holding my true emotions and feelings
(38:49):
inside while trying to deliver and also you know, be
a good mom during that very confusing time, cruciating. It
was not the greatest, not the greatest.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
God, Yeah, that's a lot of things happening at once.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
But you got to roll with it, right, But you
got to roll with it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Wof what advice you would give to a young actress,
you know, working today.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Gosh, I would say study first of all. You know,
if I'm of the thinking that if you're going to
be paid to do something, you probably need to know
how to do it, that you need to actually gather
the tools so that you can do your job well.
Whether that's you know, just learning how to be on
a set or have set etiquette, how to memorize your lines,
(39:41):
how to put yourself in that moment as an actress
that you need to be in. But more than that,
as I would appeal to probably the person behind the
desire to become an actress and really let them know
that it's not It doesn't have anything to do with
all of that has everything to do with what's inside
of you and to my you know, just stay authentic
(40:03):
to who you are and don't try to be anything
that you're not because that will never work. Yeah, you
can play different characters, but there's got to be part
of you in each of them. There's got to be
some element of grounding and authenticity for you to be
able to do your job well. And so that would
be what I would tell them. Great, and don't get
(40:25):
caught up in any of the bullshit because it's all bullshit.
It's all approval for nothing. There's people can tell you
all day long how beautiful you are and how wonderful
you were in that scene and how you're perfect and
oh my gosh, and then none of that matters nothing.
You go home, you take your pants off the way
(40:46):
everybody else does you. It's we're all the same, and
so don't allow yourself to ever fall into that thinking
that you're any more special than anybody else.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
That's great advice, And I lied, I have one more
question before a lightning round the mid life because this
just occurred to me. Midlife crisis or whatever you want
to call it, you know, the mid life anxiety, the
mid life angst, to me looks very different for men
than it does for women. And I'm generalizing. You know,
(41:18):
we all know what a male midlife crisis looks like,
and for women it feels much more emotional and inside
of ourselves, you know, and not something we can fix
with a sports car or a younger wife or you know,
something much more deep seated and tricky. And you know,
(41:38):
I have some friends and some people who are in
the public eye in fact, that are women in their
forties or fifties, and they're really like unraveling, like having
a break with reality.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
I'm sure you know some of those two.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
And it's really hard to watch because you know, like
she really needs some help and she's not getting it.
You know, what's your take on what happens to some women?
At this age of life and how we're all trying
to approach it.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I cannot speak to how men handle it. I can,
you know, speak to how I've seen men handle it,
which is similar to what you're describing. But for me,
and I think I'm a pretty like average woman, normal
going through all the things that every other woman goes through.
I feel like for me, I was very stunted in
(42:34):
my personal development, probably because of being an actress and
being so sheltered in the industry that I was in,
and then also going and creating a bubble of a
life that I lived in this like happy marriage with
the picket fence and all the things, and you know
that identity that started to form itself as the mom,
as the wife, as the whatever. And I think at
(42:57):
a certain point, you know, we things break down, things
like shock us, surprise us, disappoint us, break our hearts,
and that's the moment you have to seize that opportunity
as and I fought it. Let me tell you, for years,
I was in what you're talking about. I was in trouble.
(43:17):
I was spiraling, I was drowning. But once I came
up and stopped being so self indulgent, quite honestly, stopped
being a big baby, like I stop stomping my feet
and like resisting everything, and started to look within myself
(43:38):
and do that kind of soul searching work to find
that little girl that I started out with.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
I was born with her and I will die with her.
And I had to get really comfortable with that. That's
just the cards I've been dealt. It's me and her,
meaning my little self. Yeah, and I'm going to take
care of her and she's going to take care of me.
And I had to really figure out how to love
myself in a different way. And I think for women,
(44:07):
especially as you said, they it's a much more internal
process and there's nothing external that could fix it. No
big boobs or I don't know, jewelry whatever, none of
that is going to connect you back to yourself and
that at the end of the day, that connection back
to yourself, the true you, that little girl that you
(44:29):
love so much, that's all that matters. And then from
that point your life just sort of opens up in
a different way and you see different paths as you
go forward. And if you're not, if you're a woman
who's in it, I know it sucks. I just want
(44:49):
women to allow themselves to be in that place of
it sucking. This sucks, and I want women to get
quiet and not try to drown it out with other noises. Right,
sit in your feelings, sit in your discomfort, sit in
your unknowing, and then if you are quiet enough and
you love yourself enough, like getting to that loving yourself
(45:11):
is really hard, so so hard for some people. But
when you get to that place of realizing, hey, it's
me and you kid from here on out, that's the
point where you're like, I've got something to live for,
Like I know, yeah, I have my kids to live for,
and I want that, but it had to be something
more personal for me, even more personal, and that was
(45:31):
you know, I just hope that women give themselves the
opportunity to know that this happens to people. This is normal,
Like this breakdown, these moments of like complete confusion and
despair and you know the things, you don't know what's
going to happen next, that's so normal. Just know in
your core that you're going to get through it. Everything's
going to be okay, and you have the rest of
(45:55):
your life to get whatever you want, Like, you know,
it's just it's again. It kind of feels like it's
like reframing negative thoughts, reframing, you know, maybe some of
the reality than the awful reality that you've experienced in
your life previously. Just making a real concerted effort to
(46:15):
change your story within yourself.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
So great. I'm so glad you're talking about it, because
it is normal.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
But I don't think if we don't talk about it,
people don't think it's normal. People don't feel like it's normal,
and they're like, what's happening to me?
Speaker 3 (46:29):
This is weird?
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Oh God, now you got to talk about it. We've
got to talk about it. So I'm so glad that
you do.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
I thought I was so broken. I thought I was
so broken, and like, you know, different than everybody else,
and why can't I be happy? And what's wrong with me?
And you know, nobody ever look at them. They're so happy.
Everybody's so happy. Everybody's got these lives that I love,
and I just really, for a long time was like
sitting in the bottom of that toilet bowl, going, ugh,
what about you know, what am I going to do?
Speaker 3 (46:56):
Yeah? But it's it.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Let me be like example, you can change it for yourself.
That's good. But you have to do it for yourself
because guess what, you're the only one who can do it.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
That's right, Okay, the as promised lightning, round lightning.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Who do you feel closer to? Kelly Taylor or Val Tyler?
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Kelly Taylor. I think Val was fun, but she was
so anxious and agitated and always like freaking out about
something that took a lot of energy. Kelly was just
getting you know, like stabbed and shot and stalked and
burned and all the things. That's nothing perfect.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
What's the best part of getting older?
Speaker 1 (47:56):
The best part of getting older is the connection you
get back to yourself, that confidence that you never could
quite grasp when you were younger, The knowing of like
who you truly are and what you truly want, and
not worrying about any of the other stuff.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
Love it. What's your best skincare tip?
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Well, obviously wash your face every morning and every night.
I use really great products. I work with a brand
called Paracone MD, which was from the nineties. I don't
know if you anybody remembers it, remember it's still around.
I'm still using it. They have a lot of cool stuff.
I love products, so I'm always trying something new. I
(48:44):
like exfoliating at least once a week.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Yeah you too. I'm on the once a week.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
And then just replenishing it. Yeah, but there's no gadget
I won't buy. Oh light wand will make my I'll
take it. Oh this jiggly thing will my arm fat? Oh,
I'll buy that too, unless it's like too expensive. And
then I'm like, no, I can't do that, but yeah,
I try it all. Just see what works for you.
I just started spraying toner, okay, I making I was
(49:11):
spraying a blend of toner and essential oils, and a
long time ago someone told me, oh, don't put essential
oils on your face. It might enlarge your pores or
give you weird white spots. So I started to notice,
oh my, a few pores are like getting big. What's
going on? And then I thought, I've been putting essential
oils on my face. So I dialed back on that,
and now I'm just using a straight toner. I make
(49:34):
it myself with witch hazel, uh, the witch hazel tonic
whatever that's called. Ye, and then I added hyaluronic acid, right,
and then that's what I spray on my face all
day live like all day.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
I love that I have a big skincare junkie as well,
and I'll buy it all if it's not too expensive,
Like I've got the red light therapy masks.
Speaker 1 (49:54):
Do you have beautiful skin?
Speaker 2 (49:55):
They thank you, you do too, But I, you know,
I work at it a lot and buy a lot
of things. And I actually it made me feel better
to like dive into the science of these things, like, Okay,
what's actually.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
Being absorbed by the skin here?
Speaker 2 (50:09):
Like right, you know, topical collagen is not actually getting
absorbed into my skin, so I have to eat it,
you know. Like figuring out the science made me feel
like a better skincare consumer. And also like I wasn't
getting scammed every five seconds by an influenced by every
product I would see.
Speaker 1 (50:28):
Yeah, exactly. Also it's like the realization that this is
my skin for the rest of my life, right, like
I have got to take.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Care of it, yeah, which I didn't do until I
turned forty.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
I did not.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
I was an ivory or like a dove soap girl
until my forties, like no products, none, and I'd go
to one and they would put you know, makeup on
and do all that.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
So I never thought about it until my forties and
then I got obsessed.
Speaker 2 (50:56):
Yeah good, Okay, what's the best vacation you ever took?
Speaker 3 (51:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (51:02):
Well, it was a recent one. It was we went
to Saint Lucia Nice, which is a little island, and
we it was just the girls and my husband and me,
and it was just so no plans, just go with
the flow and we just had the best time. I
(51:22):
think that's one of my favorite things to do whenever
we go away, is to not plan anything. There's no
like sightseeing tour or any you know, grit all of
tasting whatever. It's just get up, go outside, see what
beckons you and go that direction. And that's what we did,
and those are my favorite kind of holidays.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
Yeah, magical.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
What's the best teen drama of all time? Besides nine
O two and zero woo?
Speaker 1 (51:52):
I didn't watch many others because I was working fourteen, sixteen,
eighteen hours a day, so I didn't, but I really
when my girls were little, we loved watching Lizzie McGuire.
Uh huh. They I loved Fame, you remember that show,
Fame from New York City and dancers, and since I
(52:13):
always thought, oh I want to be a dancer, I
loved that show Fame.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
It's a good one. I think my favorite was My
So called Life, but it was like one season. It
was way too short.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Yeah I didn't watch it, but I know everybody loved it. Yeah,
it's good.
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Party of Five was good.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
Never saw honestly was obsessed with.
Speaker 3 (52:30):
Nine to two and O two and then the other
general like the Next Generation had Gossip Girl and The
OC and I didn't watch those.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
But if nineties television were having a prom, who would
King and Queen be?
Speaker 1 (52:43):
Well, I would say Brandon and Kelly just because, but
I kind of the person in me that wants to
be like, you know, oh no, let your light shine,
I would go ahead and say David and Donna.
Speaker 3 (52:58):
Oh that's cute.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Yeah, they were a great couple. They were a great couple. Okay,
this is the last question. It's the most important question
to me. We ask it at the end of every podcast.
When is it iced coffee season? Never tell me more?
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Sorry, yeah, uh, I don't like iced coffee. I don't
like coffee. I don't drink coffee. I think I'm like
a weird person. But no, I drink tea. And if
I ever have a tea, it's gonna be hot, yep, okay, yeah,
we're yss hold please yeah, when it's summer, you I
could switch to an iced tea. You're right, when it's.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Really hot, okay.
Speaker 1 (53:41):
But sometimes even when it's really hot, I need a
hot tea.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
But never an iced coffee.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
No, no, no, no, never a nice coffee.
Speaker 3 (53:47):
Sorry, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
We've had this answer before. It's the incorrect answer, but
we've had it before. It's fine, You're still we still
love you. Jenny Garth, thank you so much for coming
on Off Cup. This is really really great and I
loved I loved all of your advice.
Speaker 3 (54:04):
Truly.
Speaker 1 (54:04):
I love talking to you. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
Coming up next week on Off the Cup, I talk
to Ricky Lake.
Speaker 5 (54:12):
I love like the reinventions that I've had. I thrive
on just trying new things, proving myself to myself and
to others that I can like make a documentary that's
going to actually kind of change the world.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as
part of the Reason Choice Network. If you want more,
check out the other Reason Choice podcasts Spolitics with Jamel
Hill and Native Land Pod. For Off the Cup, I
am your host, Si Cup, editing and sound design by
Derek Clements.
Speaker 3 (54:40):
Our executive producers are.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
Me Si Coup, Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman. Rate and
review wherever you get your podcasts. Follow or subscribe for
new episodes every Wednesday,
Host
S.E. Cupp
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