March 24, 2025 • 22 mins
It’s Dump Him Week, which means we have stories about saying farewell to toxic relationships and hello to red flag-free living. If you’re new here and looking for the story “My husband cheated… but he has cancer! should I stay?” Just click the link below.
Dump Him Week - My husband cheated… but he has cancer! should I stay? | Part 3
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r/BestofRedditorUpdates - My partner lied about having cancer…I kept his secret UNTIL NOW! PART 2
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay storytime podcast host and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.
My partner cheated on me with two women. He wants
to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay?
Last week left off this story. Man has been exposed
for having tens of women that he has cheated on
(00:22):
Opie with and he is a kid with OP and
he's given OP and SDI. But the come up and
is coming. We're getting into part two of this story.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
So it's come to light this week that his ex
partners have been reporting him for years to no avail. Wow,
so this isn't the first time my man has been
found out for cheating on multiple women.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Which makes sense that he's been reported before, but horrendous
that hasn't like.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Come out again?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Thank you for working.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
His mom is on the school board and her best
friend is his head teacher. And he's a teacher. This
man is teaching the youth.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Get him out of the schools.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Get him out of the schools. The only thing I
want him teaching is scheduling and time management. Because again,
how insanity insane. I'm hoping with the added element of
social services this time and an investigation into child endangement
for our daughter, they can't sweep it under the carpet
any longer. We're escalating the situation where in the UK
(01:19):
his complaints have been escalated to LADO in the past,
which is basically our version of what controls the school's
judgment over any dangerous situations, but nothing has happened. One
of his exes gave me all the dirty details of
their report to push that they ignored her, and it's
escalated to this. So at least op's escalating. But it
seems like nothing has happened in the past.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, at each checkpoint, no one's taken any action so.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Far, And a commentary responds, feel like we need a
full name and a link to his Facebook, or at
the very least to make sure he is up on
prick Advisor. What is that, dude?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Apparently, I guess a brick advisor a service for Yeah,
let's let's let's investigate here.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Prick advice.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, I've never heard of this. I've heard of sites though,
where it's like women can be like, oh, don't get
with this guy watching. Oh yeah, yeah, there's there's definitely
some sights out there.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I saw this thing where was like fboy dot com
M have me see that. I haven't seen him anyway,
Op responds. He deleted his Facebook after I made a
post on here. He is the most convincing person you
have ever met. For the first time, someone proved him
wrong by posting medical evidence and he couldn't take it.
I'm waiting on approval to join prick Advisor UK and
(02:29):
are we dating the same man in northeast to Warrnan
all the other women I couldn't find myself and comment
or asked what SDI did he passed to you? Has
your baby been tested and or treated? Nope, he responds.
At the time, I refuse further testing in denial and
regret it so much. I was given a course of
antibiotics and because my symptoms went, they left it at that.
For me, all I know is from the SDI being
(02:51):
untreated for so long, I ended up with strep group
B two, which is why I needed to be induced.
So I was on an antibiotic trip when my wa
were broken to my baby would be safe. She's perfectly
healthy and face no issues luckily, thank god, the small ones.
I think I've been lucky and whatever it was must
have not turned into an STD because my medical documents
(03:12):
only say partner STI. We also haven't slept together for
a very long time now after my surgery, so I
know I'm at least safe now. And a commenter responds,
how does he manage his time?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
We asked the same way, like is.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
This superpowered time management? A full time job which requires
extra hour work, a baby, a girlfriend, a mother, many lovers.
Opie responds, he would disappear from time to time and
switch his phone off a lot. Yikes. Not living together
with a huge help for him. He would tell me
he needed to set days and times, et cetera, as
he can only work in routines for his recovery. Obviously,
(03:49):
I can look back now and see that really he
just needed to know which girl was where and when.
I've been told by multiple people now that he will
often just not turn up to work because he's on
a bendor at a woman's house. And I was kept
in the dark because his mom's best friend is the
head teacher and would cover for him. His mom was
his like pick up accomplice.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
This is app like, I'm sorry if you not only
if you're a teacher and you like, you know, just
don't show up multiple times, but don't show it multiple
times and they figure out the reason was you went
on a bender with some woman and you're married.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And how are you still employed? I don't understand this,
Like this is like does that mean the mom was
in the know of exactly what he was doing? Was
in the know and the mom's just like wing manning, She's.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Like, that's my mind. You don't lock them both up?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, so bad. Well. Comtor says he is a serial adulterer,
He spreads sdis he lies about having cancer, he's a
primary school teacher, and he's in a band, and OPI responds,
was in a band. I've just found out this week
that he wasn't punted out in twenty nineteen for having
cancer like you told me, but putted it out in
twenty eighteen when his abusive behavior towards women was exposed
(04:59):
and they cut all ties with him except one band
member who didn't believe it and never mentioned anything about
it to me or gave me the heads up, and
common to responds, is your boyfriend my ex because my
ex was also a substance regular user who faith cancer
and other health problems while abusing me physically, mentally and
spicy sleepily and op. He responds if he lives in
(05:22):
the UK and used to be in a feminist punk band.
Not a feminist punk band.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I know. I hate this guy, thronos out a source.
No oh man, oh so many issues. Definitely, he's like
mentally deranged.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh wait, I need to look up something really quick.
What is it called? Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
The service?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
He's probably like, sorry, drop my book of poems by
Rupee Kaur. What is this?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
This guy's a feminist. I don't know it, bro, I
do not know. Being one hundred percent honest here, I
know Susan b Anthony Anthony God shout out.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Sorry I dropped my Margaret Atwood Feminist poetry book. Got him.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
One more time for the money?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah yeah, bro, after coming after coming away from his
feminist rock concert, and he's like, ooh, sorry, drop my
Margaret Atwood feminist poetry book.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
They believed it, they believed it. I mean that was
you got me on that one.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I think our Rupe Kawer I forgot whatever whatever that
one is. Anyway, I'm so sorry. For your experience and
hope you've healed. Commenter says, Opie, the Daily Mail will
be all over this, they would, says, Ope, I've shown
my social worker what I've shared online so far, and
no one has been named or can be identified on here.
That's okay, And I've been extremely polite about the situation
and only exposed myself on Facebook, so they're okay with
(06:44):
me sharing that. But for the sake of not giving
him any more AMMO or information to use his defense,
I need to be careful until the investigations are over.
I wouldn't want to mess up my case and have
him teaching for another six years like the last time
he was reported. Another commenter says, make it pop, make
sure parents know and that the head of the school
board has been protecting him. Yeah. I mean, all right,
(07:05):
really quick, I want to pause right here because it's like,
to what level do you flame this guy publicly? Because
he's like he is a public menace.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Yeah. I mean it's a good question.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Because usually we're like the usual advice on the show
is like, you know, blaming people publicly usually isn't necessary,
you know.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Well, that's this is like yeah, exactly, like, oh, you
know he I don't even know, but yeah, this is
like just blown out of the water gargageman proportions. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
So I'm like, I feel like it's gotten to the
point where, you know, like, for example, if there is
a pothole in the road, you'd like tell your town representatives, Hey,
like there's a pothole in the road, like affecting everyone,
Like this man is like a relation potholes. Yeah, he's
a cavern in the road, and you want to make
sure all the car is not no, not to drive
towards it. So I think like publicly flaming him might
(07:54):
be a.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Psa absolutely, Like anything that OP wants to do and
is comfortable with them like probably. I mean there's so
many women. Yeah you know that they might also do
the same.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, you are doing a public service, but you at
the detriment of probably your own peace.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, it's I think for OP it's like, hey, do
I want to go full board with this and take Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Do I want to take this on my shoulders?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
You're already it's like either way, you're the one that's
You're the victim in this situation. So it's like, so
you can use you but that that it is a PSA,
Like there's probably a lot of women that don't even know.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I would say, like, generally, if someone cheats on you,
I don't think you need to publicly flame them, Like
I like, generally, I don't think that's like I think
that honestly takes more energy away from you than them.
But if they are consistently doing it, and you know,
there's like a roster of fifty people that are just
completely getting screwed over, that's when you're like, Okay, maybe
(08:49):
maybe I want to warn people. Yeah, the recap publicly
calling out the man's behavior like a pothole field road
could serve as a public service.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Love it, Opie.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Sadly, I think parents are aware and not receiving help
from the school in the situation. One woman he dated
during the summer realized who he was when she went
to drop her child off at school in September.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, it's like, how there has to be something like
that eventually.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Bro, he's probably hot.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I think he's just like a devious, evil mastermind.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yes, evil evil, hot hot mastermind. Maybe DV is hot.
There's no way like this man is Probably.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
He's probably a looker. He's probably a looker.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
He's far and wide. She's been updating me to let
me know that he wasn't seen in school for multiple
days after my health visitors and social worker began their
reports on Monday. But he was back in half a
day Friday, so man's back to work is normal. Cot.
By the way, this story is multiple parts. Make sure
to follow us on iHeart podcast app or Apple podcasts.
(09:50):
Let's get back into the story because we have an update. John,
Oh my god, this is the first update. We have
an update, and this update is from February tenth, twenty
twenty five. This year, Oh my, this year. We got
some juice to squeeze, some juice to squeeze. You're not lying,
I'm not lying, all right? You ready? Unfortunately, let's do
(10:12):
it update the next day. I spoke to the police
this morning. There is nothing they can do unless they
find the substances on his person in the school. So
nothing is stopping him from snorting a line before he
starts work as long as he takes nothing else with him.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
My gabbers are flasted.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
They've employed the loophole that they can catch him behind
the wheel and if someone reported him driving on substances,
they could catch him that way, So basically, I mean
there's nothing much they can do.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
That's insanity.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
They said they can confirm that multiple reports and investigations
have begun before even my report, so they are unable
to share much information with me, even though his case
involves me. But they told me it is imperative I
apply for Claire's Law and have helped me with the application.
You can take up to ten days for my person
(11:00):
meeting to provide my documents, and then it can take
several weeks for the information to be shared with me.
Knowing what I do already, I feel sick that they
have told me how important it is for me to
make the application. I can't believe in a few weeks
he is going to discuss me even further when I
receive his police records. My only silver ligning. So she's
getting all the records and putting all stuff out to
(11:21):
like just you know forty chest this man and yes,
and get them in trouble. Yes. My only silver lining
is that once I have the police reports on top
of my medical records, he doesn't stand a chance in
family court and me and my girl will be free
to restart our lives. Together, So that's a win.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That is a win. That is definitely a win.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Also, another little note, I've been looking for family court
advice in a mom's support group and have been informed
that luckily she's only five months old and any name
changes can be made before six months with only one
parent's consent.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
So she can name the baby back to Oak, can.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Get rid of the name.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, and the witnesses don't need to be his choice.
So I will be removing his surname and his grand's
name from her middle name for her to take my
surname and not have any more ties to his family.
That's a win. That's a win. So we're taking all
the small wins we can get. Yeah. Also, if you're
new here and to this story, make sure to follow
us on iHeart podcast in Apple Podcasts. This is part
(12:18):
one of a three part story. Okay, let's get back
into the story. So some of Ope's comments explaining more information.
You should also look into the Offenses Against the Person
Act in eighteen sixty one. If he knew he had
an SCI and spread it to you and others by
telling you all not to use any kind of protection
that may be illegal. Op he responds, my health visitor
(12:40):
made the exact same point. She said she would look
into it for me and make the report in my behalf,
as she has a legal obligation to report everything I said. Anyway,
my worry is when speaking to the police today, they
said without physical evidence, they can't really do much. Even
if multiple women come forward with the exact same claim,
it's still hearsay and can't be pursued.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Insane, dude. The UK legal system is.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I think might be the same here, dude, Yeah, I mean,
I mean, because it is all hearsay, technically, the only
thing you could do is just roast them in the
court of public opinion.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Well there's maybe it's like civil or like what is
it criminal and civil right? So it's like criminal court. Okay,
that's the case, but civil court everyone can sue and
like we can. We can just do as much as
we can there.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, at least I feel like OP wouldn't have like
that much ground, although I'm not sure. You let us
know in the comments below if you think OP would
have a case. But I think OPI's best bet is
flaming him. Uh in the public opinion court.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
That's true, But lawyers if you got a case, but no, please.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I've checked all my past messages and can't find anything
in writing from him that can be used. And a
commenter said, I get lawyered really fast. I think there's
a law against sharing private messages now, but I think
you should be fine. Since the other women are consenting
to their messages being used as evidence, that might be
a loophole. All So, there's a Facebook group of women
who post guys and their crime, so maybe they know
(14:04):
not to date these individuals, and since it's closed group,
they are careful who they let in, and he won't
be able to get in there because they're really good
at sniffing out a nosy dude and punting them. So
you might want to add that in there so others
don't fall for his tricks, which is kind of what
we said before. I no, He responds, thank you for
your concern and advice. I've shown my support worker what
(14:25):
I've shared, and she said everything is above board. He's
also already been named and shamed in a couple of
groups by someone he was speaking to on a dating
app after finding about me. So I guess, like dude,
his posse of tens of X's are now uniting and
to just flame him openly on the internet.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
All of the levers were pressing all of the red
buttons to have him just flamed. To visit. Yeah, and
I love it.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It's necessary at this point because it's like, you know, again,
we are against just flame and for flames sake. You know,
I often feel that when we try to put someone down,
even after they've wronged us, hurts us more than it
hurts them. But this is a PSA at this point.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah, I mean it's it's again. It's like this is
ten thousand x like the usual slight slight incident. This
is this is big. Hey, it's John eo og host here.
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's a
quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Well, so I've only shown my own information. I would
never expose another woman, and no one has been named
but me and my partner, and in all honesty, the
post was more to prove that we had been in
a relationship and had a child more than anything. As
he was getting his friends and family to harass me
saying he didn't know me and gaslit me so much,
I just started to doubt the past year and a
(15:38):
half myself. I only said what he had done to
me and just mentioned that I was aware now that
he had affairs. I've gone in much more detail here
about things with the safety of being anonymous. I shared
photos of us together, text messages of our boring lives,
love you, love you more, we need nappies, et cetera,
and my medical records showing the STI. In the UK,
it's only illegal to show other people's messages without sent
(16:00):
and the only ones I have are saved to be
used in court with the women who have sent me
them's consents if it comes to it. As I am
the one who had sent the messages I've shared and
there is no defamation. My social worker thinks it'll be
okay again. If you're new here, this is part two
of this story. We got some juicier bits coming around
(16:22):
the corner, so make sure you're following us on the
iHeart Podcasts, app Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Click link in the description to go to our profile
to get the next part of the story. It's juicy,
it's juicy, it's juicy. We're gonna get into the next
one right now, so I've managed to provide enough evidence
of substance use and emotional blackmail to the police to
have a domestic abuse case opened again. This guy was
(16:43):
a substance user for a long time.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
All the cases open, all the cases.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
This is going straight past the school to the highest
authority to keep him away from a children. This is
huge news and gives me such relief in knowing my
child and others will be safe. But I still have
that awful feeling of guilt for him. Just two weeks
ago we called each other bride and groom.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Dude, he got so deep in her neurons he freaking.
The gas lighting was one thousand degrees.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
He had depth with a lot of people. Think it's
going to take for a while to gree for the
person I thought I knew while dealing with one I
know now. I hope this is the point he actually
goes to rehab instead of lying about it and can
find happiness and restart his life. I don't think I
want to make more updates now. I am unbelievably grateful
for the kind words and advice, but I originally just
(17:31):
wrote this to get my emotions out of my head
to help me sleep better. I know I used a
clickbaity title, but I did not expect my posts to
blow up like this. Thank you all for helping and
making my emotions feel validated in an absolutely insane situation.
There is more to this story, by the way, me
and my little girl are going to be okay, and
we got some edits coming in. So this was written
a week after it happened, so the police seemed quick,
(17:54):
but an actual fact, I'm still waiting on updates from
Claire's Law and the cases they mentioned during my interview.
What is Claire's Law? Can we look that up really quick? Rouse,
We're going to pull that up right now. I'm twenty
seven and my exes thirty three GBS isn't an SDI
and I apologize if I didn't make that clear. It's
a bacteria contracted from being intimate, apparently common in people
with autoimmune disease, but only harmful during pregnancy. And Claire's
(18:17):
Law is known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme is
a police policy giving people the right to know if
their current or ex partner has any previous history of
violence or abuse. Okay, so basically putting this guy on
a list, so everyone knows that he's a garbage.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
He didn't share it with her, which I guess he
broke that.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
So Opie says I never received an SDI testing during
pregnancy due to being over twenty five. My GP told
me that my symptoms presented as an SDI and recommended
testing for gonorrhea, but I turned down the offer thinking
it wasn't possible, and she just told me I had GBS,
so it must have been only that it was my
(18:56):
discharge paper from the hospital that had sensitive Partner SDI
on under the risk assessment section. I made a mistake.
He did actually tell me he was in rehab. I
forgot as I didn't have text messages about it. He
emailed me for one month telling me he couldn't have
his phone in rehab and I completely forgot. Yes, he
is still with his new girlfriend. Wow, she is sadly
(19:18):
under the same spell I was. What is this man?
She rang me off my mother in law's phone to
demand a DNA test on my child and they have
all been blocked since. I start DA counseling this month
and I'm also on a waiting list for paranatal counseling
too to help me process my trauma and get help.
As a single mother, I'm not doing very well at
the moment, but my daughter is doing extremely well. That's good,
(19:40):
you know, the little winds, the little wins. He is
still working at the school during all these investigations, and
from what I've been told, I obviously don't go out
drinking in town anymore to see for myself. He is
substance dealing, dealing, he's dealing. This man needs to be caught.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
We need to just like have all the parents just
like like literally become like a guard, like like Secret
Service of Parents is like, now.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
You're just not We're not getting through.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
We're just circling around you with our bodies.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah, like you like bees and a hornets.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, we're not gonna let this happen.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, and then they vibrate and the hornet gets cood.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Do that please? Something?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
He's drinking and using every weekend with his group of
twenty year old friends. I hope that answers most of
the questions in the comments for the people saying they
have been through similar Oh God, I hope not. I
am so unbelievably sorry. This is the worst pain I've
experienced and would never wish it on another soul. If
you're struggling going through this, we're still struggling, please contact
(20:36):
your country's crisis teams and go to your doctors for
mental health advice. I'm not sure about other counties, but
the UK is brilliant for confidential help and advice. You're
never alone. Thank you for all your advice and help.
And that's where this story ends. We got another story
in this episode coming up that's just as crazy. But wow,
what a saga. I'm kind of mad. There was no
(20:57):
consequences for this guy, or seemingly no conscert.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I mean hopefully literally it's now in the making, and like,
but we got to give Opi the props and kudos
because it seems that she was the one that started
knocking the car and the cards and things were happening.
Op OPI made it happen.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, but I'm like, this guy, he's but he was confronted,
you know, years before, and then he just built a new.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Roster absolute insanity. You know, he could just move Like
I don't understand how the parents haven't like revolted or
like a revolt in general hasn't happened like in the
school and like all the.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Areas we need to move life with these tens of people.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Like the scandal, I don't know. I mean, I do
know it's tragic, but like, wow, I'm hopefully it's right
around the corner for this guy for all to come
crashing down.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
And I would love to know the comments, like, what
do you think about this public flaming? Do you think
it's necessary? Do you think it's too much? Do you
think it's too little? Let us know what you think
in the comments below. But we got one more story
for you before we end this episode.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Let's dive in. I encourage my wife to explore nominogamy
and it ruined my marriage.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Oh man, she explored it too much.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Who would have funk?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
If you want to find this episode, just go to
the show notes a description of this episode, and click
the link for part three, the finale of Dump Him Week.
See you over there,
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay storytime podcast host and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.
My partner cheated on me with two women. He wants
to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay?
Last week left off this story. Man has been exposed
for having tens of women that he has cheated on
(00:22):
Opie with and he is a kid with OP and
he's given OP and SDI. But the come up and
is coming. We're getting into part two of this story.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
So it's come to light this week that his ex
partners have been reporting him for years to no avail. Wow,
so this isn't the first time my man has been
found out for cheating on multiple women.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Which makes sense that he's been reported before, but horrendous
that hasn't like.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Come out again?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Thank you for working.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
His mom is on the school board and her best
friend is his head teacher. And he's a teacher. This
man is teaching the youth.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Get him out of the schools.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Get him out of the schools. The only thing I
want him teaching is scheduling and time management. Because again,
how insanity insane. I'm hoping with the added element of
social services this time and an investigation into child endangement
for our daughter, they can't sweep it under the carpet
any longer. We're escalating the situation where in the UK
(01:19):
his complaints have been escalated to LADO in the past,
which is basically our version of what controls the school's
judgment over any dangerous situations, but nothing has happened. One
of his exes gave me all the dirty details of
their report to push that they ignored her, and it's
escalated to this. So at least op's escalating. But it
seems like nothing has happened in the past.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, at each checkpoint, no one's taken any action so.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Far, And a commentary responds, feel like we need a
full name and a link to his Facebook, or at
the very least to make sure he is up on
prick Advisor. What is that, dude?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Apparently, I guess a brick advisor a service for Yeah,
let's let's let's investigate here.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Prick advice.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, I've never heard of this. I've heard of sites though,
where it's like women can be like, oh, don't get
with this guy watching. Oh yeah, yeah, there's there's definitely
some sights out there.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I saw this thing where was like fboy dot com
M have me see that. I haven't seen him anyway,
Op responds. He deleted his Facebook after I made a
post on here. He is the most convincing person you
have ever met. For the first time, someone proved him
wrong by posting medical evidence and he couldn't take it.
I'm waiting on approval to join prick Advisor UK and
(02:29):
are we dating the same man in northeast to Warrnan
all the other women I couldn't find myself and comment
or asked what SDI did he passed to you? Has
your baby been tested and or treated? Nope, he responds.
At the time, I refuse further testing in denial and
regret it so much. I was given a course of
antibiotics and because my symptoms went, they left it at that.
For me, all I know is from the SDI being
(02:51):
untreated for so long, I ended up with strep group
B two, which is why I needed to be induced.
So I was on an antibiotic trip when my wa
were broken to my baby would be safe. She's perfectly
healthy and face no issues luckily, thank god, the small ones.
I think I've been lucky and whatever it was must
have not turned into an STD because my medical documents
(03:12):
only say partner STI. We also haven't slept together for
a very long time now after my surgery, so I
know I'm at least safe now. And a commenter responds,
how does he manage his time?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
We asked the same way, like is.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
This superpowered time management? A full time job which requires
extra hour work, a baby, a girlfriend, a mother, many lovers.
Opie responds, he would disappear from time to time and
switch his phone off a lot. Yikes. Not living together
with a huge help for him. He would tell me
he needed to set days and times, et cetera, as
he can only work in routines for his recovery. Obviously,
(03:49):
I can look back now and see that really he
just needed to know which girl was where and when.
I've been told by multiple people now that he will
often just not turn up to work because he's on
a bendor at a woman's house. And I was kept
in the dark because his mom's best friend is the
head teacher and would cover for him. His mom was
his like pick up accomplice.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
This is app like, I'm sorry if you not only
if you're a teacher and you like, you know, just
don't show up multiple times, but don't show it multiple
times and they figure out the reason was you went
on a bender with some woman and you're married.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And how are you still employed? I don't understand this,
Like this is like does that mean the mom was
in the know of exactly what he was doing? Was
in the know and the mom's just like wing manning, She's.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Like, that's my mind. You don't lock them both up?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, so bad. Well. Comtor says he is a serial adulterer,
He spreads sdis he lies about having cancer, he's a
primary school teacher, and he's in a band, and OPI responds,
was in a band. I've just found out this week
that he wasn't punted out in twenty nineteen for having
cancer like you told me, but putted it out in
twenty eighteen when his abusive behavior towards women was exposed
(04:59):
and they cut all ties with him except one band
member who didn't believe it and never mentioned anything about
it to me or gave me the heads up, and
common to responds, is your boyfriend my ex because my
ex was also a substance regular user who faith cancer
and other health problems while abusing me physically, mentally and
spicy sleepily and op. He responds if he lives in
(05:22):
the UK and used to be in a feminist punk band.
Not a feminist punk band.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I know. I hate this guy, thronos out a source.
No oh man, oh so many issues. Definitely, he's like
mentally deranged.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh wait, I need to look up something really quick.
What is it called? Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
The service?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
He's probably like, sorry, drop my book of poems by
Rupee Kaur. What is this?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
This guy's a feminist. I don't know it, bro, I
do not know. Being one hundred percent honest here, I
know Susan b Anthony Anthony God shout out.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Sorry I dropped my Margaret Atwood Feminist poetry book. Got him.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
One more time for the money?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah yeah, bro, after coming after coming away from his
feminist rock concert, and he's like, ooh, sorry, drop my
Margaret Atwood feminist poetry book.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
They believed it, they believed it. I mean that was
you got me on that one.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I think our Rupe Kawer I forgot whatever whatever that
one is. Anyway, I'm so sorry. For your experience and
hope you've healed. Commenter says, Opie, the Daily Mail will
be all over this, they would, says, Ope, I've shown
my social worker what I've shared online so far, and
no one has been named or can be identified on here.
That's okay, And I've been extremely polite about the situation
and only exposed myself on Facebook, so they're okay with
(06:44):
me sharing that. But for the sake of not giving
him any more AMMO or information to use his defense,
I need to be careful until the investigations are over.
I wouldn't want to mess up my case and have
him teaching for another six years like the last time
he was reported. Another commenter says, make it pop, make
sure parents know and that the head of the school
board has been protecting him. Yeah. I mean, all right,
(07:05):
really quick, I want to pause right here because it's like,
to what level do you flame this guy publicly? Because
he's like he is a public menace.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Yeah. I mean it's a good question.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Because usually we're like the usual advice on the show
is like, you know, blaming people publicly usually isn't necessary,
you know.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Well, that's this is like yeah, exactly, like, oh, you
know he I don't even know, but yeah, this is
like just blown out of the water gargageman proportions. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
So I'm like, I feel like it's gotten to the
point where, you know, like, for example, if there is
a pothole in the road, you'd like tell your town representatives, Hey,
like there's a pothole in the road, like affecting everyone,
Like this man is like a relation potholes. Yeah, he's
a cavern in the road, and you want to make
sure all the car is not no, not to drive
towards it. So I think like publicly flaming him might
(07:54):
be a.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Psa absolutely, Like anything that OP wants to do and
is comfortable with them like probably. I mean there's so
many women. Yeah you know that they might also do
the same.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, you are doing a public service, but you at
the detriment of probably your own peace.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, it's I think for OP it's like, hey, do
I want to go full board with this and take Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Do I want to take this on my shoulders?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
You're already it's like either way, you're the one that's
You're the victim in this situation. So it's like, so
you can use you but that that it is a PSA,
Like there's probably a lot of women that don't even know.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I would say, like, generally, if someone cheats on you,
I don't think you need to publicly flame them, Like
I like, generally, I don't think that's like I think
that honestly takes more energy away from you than them.
But if they are consistently doing it, and you know,
there's like a roster of fifty people that are just
completely getting screwed over, that's when you're like, Okay, maybe
(08:49):
maybe I want to warn people. Yeah, the recap publicly
calling out the man's behavior like a pothole field road
could serve as a public service.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Love it, Opie.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Sadly, I think parents are aware and not receiving help
from the school in the situation. One woman he dated
during the summer realized who he was when she went
to drop her child off at school in September.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, it's like, how there has to be something like
that eventually.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Bro, he's probably hot.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I think he's just like a devious, evil mastermind.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yes, evil evil, hot hot mastermind. Maybe DV is hot.
There's no way like this man is Probably.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
He's probably a looker. He's probably a looker.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
He's far and wide. She's been updating me to let
me know that he wasn't seen in school for multiple
days after my health visitors and social worker began their
reports on Monday. But he was back in half a
day Friday, so man's back to work is normal. Cot.
By the way, this story is multiple parts. Make sure
to follow us on iHeart podcast app or Apple podcasts.
(09:50):
Let's get back into the story because we have an update. John,
Oh my god, this is the first update. We have
an update, and this update is from February tenth, twenty
twenty five. This year, Oh my, this year. We got
some juice to squeeze, some juice to squeeze. You're not lying,
I'm not lying, all right? You ready? Unfortunately, let's do
(10:12):
it update the next day. I spoke to the police
this morning. There is nothing they can do unless they
find the substances on his person in the school. So
nothing is stopping him from snorting a line before he
starts work as long as he takes nothing else with him.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
My gabbers are flasted.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
They've employed the loophole that they can catch him behind
the wheel and if someone reported him driving on substances,
they could catch him that way, So basically, I mean
there's nothing much they can do.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
That's insanity.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
They said they can confirm that multiple reports and investigations
have begun before even my report, so they are unable
to share much information with me, even though his case
involves me. But they told me it is imperative I
apply for Claire's Law and have helped me with the application.
You can take up to ten days for my person
(11:00):
meeting to provide my documents, and then it can take
several weeks for the information to be shared with me.
Knowing what I do already, I feel sick that they
have told me how important it is for me to
make the application. I can't believe in a few weeks
he is going to discuss me even further when I
receive his police records. My only silver ligning. So she's
getting all the records and putting all stuff out to
(11:21):
like just you know forty chest this man and yes,
and get them in trouble. Yes. My only silver lining
is that once I have the police reports on top
of my medical records, he doesn't stand a chance in
family court and me and my girl will be free
to restart our lives. Together, So that's a win.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That is a win. That is definitely a win.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Also, another little note, I've been looking for family court
advice in a mom's support group and have been informed
that luckily she's only five months old and any name
changes can be made before six months with only one
parent's consent.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
So she can name the baby back to Oak, can.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Get rid of the name.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, and the witnesses don't need to be his choice.
So I will be removing his surname and his grand's
name from her middle name for her to take my
surname and not have any more ties to his family.
That's a win. That's a win. So we're taking all
the small wins we can get. Yeah. Also, if you're
new here and to this story, make sure to follow
us on iHeart podcast in Apple Podcasts. This is part
(12:18):
one of a three part story. Okay, let's get back
into the story. So some of Ope's comments explaining more information.
You should also look into the Offenses Against the Person
Act in eighteen sixty one. If he knew he had
an SCI and spread it to you and others by
telling you all not to use any kind of protection
that may be illegal. Op he responds, my health visitor
(12:40):
made the exact same point. She said she would look
into it for me and make the report in my behalf,
as she has a legal obligation to report everything I said. Anyway,
my worry is when speaking to the police today, they
said without physical evidence, they can't really do much. Even
if multiple women come forward with the exact same claim,
it's still hearsay and can't be pursued.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Insane, dude. The UK legal system is.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I think might be the same here, dude, Yeah, I mean,
I mean, because it is all hearsay, technically, the only
thing you could do is just roast them in the
court of public opinion.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Well there's maybe it's like civil or like what is
it criminal and civil right? So it's like criminal court. Okay,
that's the case, but civil court everyone can sue and
like we can. We can just do as much as
we can there.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, at least I feel like OP wouldn't have like
that much ground, although I'm not sure. You let us
know in the comments below if you think OP would
have a case. But I think OPI's best bet is
flaming him. Uh in the public opinion court.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
That's true, But lawyers if you got a case, but no, please.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I've checked all my past messages and can't find anything
in writing from him that can be used. And a
commenter said, I get lawyered really fast. I think there's
a law against sharing private messages now, but I think
you should be fine. Since the other women are consenting
to their messages being used as evidence, that might be
a loophole. All So, there's a Facebook group of women
who post guys and their crime, so maybe they know
(14:04):
not to date these individuals, and since it's closed group,
they are careful who they let in, and he won't
be able to get in there because they're really good
at sniffing out a nosy dude and punting them. So
you might want to add that in there so others
don't fall for his tricks, which is kind of what
we said before. I no, He responds, thank you for
your concern and advice. I've shown my support worker what
(14:25):
I've shared, and she said everything is above board. He's
also already been named and shamed in a couple of
groups by someone he was speaking to on a dating
app after finding about me. So I guess, like dude,
his posse of tens of X's are now uniting and
to just flame him openly on the internet.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
All of the levers were pressing all of the red
buttons to have him just flamed. To visit. Yeah, and
I love it.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It's necessary at this point because it's like, you know, again,
we are against just flame and for flames sake. You know,
I often feel that when we try to put someone down,
even after they've wronged us, hurts us more than it
hurts them. But this is a PSA at this point.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah, I mean it's it's again. It's like this is
ten thousand x like the usual slight slight incident. This
is this is big. Hey, it's John eo og host here.
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's a
quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Well, so I've only shown my own information. I would
never expose another woman, and no one has been named
but me and my partner, and in all honesty, the
post was more to prove that we had been in
a relationship and had a child more than anything. As
he was getting his friends and family to harass me
saying he didn't know me and gaslit me so much,
I just started to doubt the past year and a
(15:38):
half myself. I only said what he had done to
me and just mentioned that I was aware now that
he had affairs. I've gone in much more detail here
about things with the safety of being anonymous. I shared
photos of us together, text messages of our boring lives,
love you, love you more, we need nappies, et cetera,
and my medical records showing the STI. In the UK,
it's only illegal to show other people's messages without sent
(16:00):
and the only ones I have are saved to be
used in court with the women who have sent me
them's consents if it comes to it. As I am
the one who had sent the messages I've shared and
there is no defamation. My social worker thinks it'll be
okay again. If you're new here, this is part two
of this story. We got some juicier bits coming around
(16:22):
the corner, so make sure you're following us on the
iHeart Podcasts, app Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Click link in the description to go to our profile
to get the next part of the story. It's juicy,
it's juicy, it's juicy. We're gonna get into the next
one right now, so I've managed to provide enough evidence
of substance use and emotional blackmail to the police to
have a domestic abuse case opened again. This guy was
(16:43):
a substance user for a long time.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
All the cases open, all the cases.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
This is going straight past the school to the highest
authority to keep him away from a children. This is
huge news and gives me such relief in knowing my
child and others will be safe. But I still have
that awful feeling of guilt for him. Just two weeks
ago we called each other bride and groom.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Dude, he got so deep in her neurons he freaking.
The gas lighting was one thousand degrees.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
He had depth with a lot of people. Think it's
going to take for a while to gree for the
person I thought I knew while dealing with one I
know now. I hope this is the point he actually
goes to rehab instead of lying about it and can
find happiness and restart his life. I don't think I
want to make more updates now. I am unbelievably grateful
for the kind words and advice, but I originally just
(17:31):
wrote this to get my emotions out of my head
to help me sleep better. I know I used a
clickbaity title, but I did not expect my posts to
blow up like this. Thank you all for helping and
making my emotions feel validated in an absolutely insane situation.
There is more to this story, by the way, me
and my little girl are going to be okay, and
we got some edits coming in. So this was written
a week after it happened, so the police seemed quick,
(17:54):
but an actual fact, I'm still waiting on updates from
Claire's Law and the cases they mentioned during my interview.
What is Claire's Law? Can we look that up really quick? Rouse,
We're going to pull that up right now. I'm twenty
seven and my exes thirty three GBS isn't an SDI
and I apologize if I didn't make that clear. It's
a bacteria contracted from being intimate, apparently common in people
with autoimmune disease, but only harmful during pregnancy. And Claire's
(18:17):
Law is known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme is
a police policy giving people the right to know if
their current or ex partner has any previous history of
violence or abuse. Okay, so basically putting this guy on
a list, so everyone knows that he's a garbage.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
He didn't share it with her, which I guess he
broke that.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
So Opie says I never received an SDI testing during
pregnancy due to being over twenty five. My GP told
me that my symptoms presented as an SDI and recommended
testing for gonorrhea, but I turned down the offer thinking
it wasn't possible, and she just told me I had GBS,
so it must have been only that it was my
(18:56):
discharge paper from the hospital that had sensitive Partner SDI
on under the risk assessment section. I made a mistake.
He did actually tell me he was in rehab. I
forgot as I didn't have text messages about it. He
emailed me for one month telling me he couldn't have
his phone in rehab and I completely forgot. Yes, he
is still with his new girlfriend. Wow, she is sadly
(19:18):
under the same spell I was. What is this man?
She rang me off my mother in law's phone to
demand a DNA test on my child and they have
all been blocked since. I start DA counseling this month
and I'm also on a waiting list for paranatal counseling
too to help me process my trauma and get help.
As a single mother, I'm not doing very well at
the moment, but my daughter is doing extremely well. That's good,
(19:40):
you know, the little winds, the little wins. He is
still working at the school during all these investigations, and
from what I've been told, I obviously don't go out
drinking in town anymore to see for myself. He is
substance dealing, dealing, he's dealing. This man needs to be caught.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
We need to just like have all the parents just
like like literally become like a guard, like like Secret
Service of Parents is like, now.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
You're just not We're not getting through.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
We're just circling around you with our bodies.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah, like you like bees and a hornets.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, we're not gonna let this happen.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, and then they vibrate and the hornet gets cood.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Do that please? Something?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
He's drinking and using every weekend with his group of
twenty year old friends. I hope that answers most of
the questions in the comments for the people saying they
have been through similar Oh God, I hope not. I
am so unbelievably sorry. This is the worst pain I've
experienced and would never wish it on another soul. If
you're struggling going through this, we're still struggling, please contact
(20:36):
your country's crisis teams and go to your doctors for
mental health advice. I'm not sure about other counties, but
the UK is brilliant for confidential help and advice. You're
never alone. Thank you for all your advice and help.
And that's where this story ends. We got another story
in this episode coming up that's just as crazy. But wow,
what a saga. I'm kind of mad. There was no
(20:57):
consequences for this guy, or seemingly no conscert.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I mean hopefully literally it's now in the making, and like,
but we got to give Opi the props and kudos
because it seems that she was the one that started
knocking the car and the cards and things were happening.
Op OPI made it happen.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, but I'm like, this guy, he's but he was confronted,
you know, years before, and then he just built a new.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Roster absolute insanity. You know, he could just move Like
I don't understand how the parents haven't like revolted or
like a revolt in general hasn't happened like in the
school and like all the.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Areas we need to move life with these tens of people.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Like the scandal, I don't know. I mean, I do
know it's tragic, but like, wow, I'm hopefully it's right
around the corner for this guy for all to come
crashing down.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
And I would love to know the comments, like, what
do you think about this public flaming? Do you think
it's necessary? Do you think it's too much? Do you
think it's too little? Let us know what you think
in the comments below. But we got one more story
for you before we end this episode.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Let's dive in. I encourage my wife to explore nominogamy
and it ruined my marriage.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Oh man, she explored it too much.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Who would have funk?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
If you want to find this episode, just go to
the show notes a description of this episode, and click
the link for part three, the finale of Dump Him Week.
See you over there,
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