March 24, 2025 • 21 mins
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Dump Him Week - My husband cheated… but he has cancer! should I stay? | Part 1
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I encourage my wife to explore non monogamy and it
ruined my marriage.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Oh man, she explored it too much.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
Who a funk?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
So I thirty mail and in an eight year long
happy marriage with my thirty female, beautiful wife.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Nothing to complain about during all of those years.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Really, neither of us wanted kids, both of us wanted cats,
and we are passionate about traveling.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
We've spent two years living in a motor home.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Through South America, plus backpacking every vacation to different countries
thirty three so far.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
That is sick.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
This sounds like your dream, yeah, dude, except maybe not
the failed but non monogamy everything else.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
So that's great, little piece, oh man.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
All things considered, we have a nearly perfect life. By
the way, this comes from Remarkable Net forty six fifty eight,
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash to okay start time. Summer sent
them in. But I have to say I never believed
in monogamy. It was always clear to her, but as
this has never been her belief, I've always been okay
with it and never cheated nor asked her permission to
get involved with anybody because I've always felt completely fulfilled
(01:06):
in our relationship.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
So not a believer in non monogamy.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
But is doing it for his part, which I think
is like fine, that's hey, Like that's fine if you
actually don't.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
You know, run around perfect. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Remember, Nevertheless, I always told her if she were willing
to have something with any other person, it would be
completely okay for me, even though I don't have that
permission myself. So he's saying, like, yo, you can go
see other guys. I'm coold that I don't even need
to see other woman.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
He's cool with it.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I feel like this is gonna backfire. Bro, this has
gone a backfire. Non monogamy is I mean, any kind
of relationship is tricky, but when you just have like
so many relationship dynamics gets complicated. People can do it
for sure, but it's just difficult.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
You need to spread your like my the butterfly on
my shirt. She needs to spread her wings and fly.
Why are you trying to cocoon herself.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
She's gonna fly away.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Let her.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
She is gonna fly away.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
In any direction, including away.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So the only thing I asked her would be to
tell me that first. So in the last couple of months,
she told me that she would also give me the
permission to be with other people if I wanted to.
So now dual permission, dual permission. As I said, I'm
fulfilled by her. I am actually completely devoted to her.
She is my muse.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Every day I wake up grateful for having her in
my life.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Why are you trying to change you?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Guys?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Have it perfect? What do you tr Why are you
trying to change it?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
No, no, it's not broken, but we have to fix it. Man,
we met in college and I had never been in
love before her, And during all the twelve years since
we've known each other, I have never wanted anyone else,
So I didn't look for anyone to hook up with.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
I don't even know if he believes in non monogamy.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
He sounds so you sound very monogamous. Well, I think
you can, like believe that monogamy is not the best
relationship structure, but find yourself in a relationship that gives
you everything you need.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Or like, maybe it's a conceptual Conceptually, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Like for me, conceptually, I think non monogamy makes more
sense monogamy, but I don't think I could be in
a non monogamous relationship.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Right, that's what he's thinking.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
That's that's what I think.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Oh, that's what you think.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, Conceptually, I think non monogamy makes more sense in monogamy,
but I feeling space.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I thought it doesn't feel good for me.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Right, dude, you and OP need to link up. I
feel like you would be the best buds.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Oh man, I'm looking into my future.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Definitely everything I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
But one night a month ago, she didn't come home
from work and didn't tell me anything. Of Course, I
was worried and texted her hours later, around two or
three am in the morning. She told me she was
drinking with her colleagues, which is pretty regular, but she
always tells me in advance, not this time. So in
the morning, I go to work and she still hasn't
come home yet, and we only met after I returned home.
Of course, I'm mad, thank god, for the first time,
(03:46):
but I patiently wait for her to tell me how
her night bar hopping was and how fun it was.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
She then proceeds to tell me she hooked up with.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
One of her male coworkers and she didn't say anything
about it beforehand. What was the one rule? See, this
is what I'm saying, dude.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
It's like, once you open up the lid of the
can a little bit, just just people with no scruples
are going bust and open that can and peeing inside
of it.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Gotta fly away, fly away. And they slept in the
same bed, no spicy sleeping.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Wait, oh okay, so they didn't like fully hook up,
so they slept in the same bab maybe yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Okay, yeah, yeah. They smooched. They a little smooch, little snogging.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
And Opie says, I'm happy for her, she's finally free. Really,
there you go, he's happy for her. Really, Okay, let
him be thrilled, let him be over joined.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I would be a little annoyed if I said, hey,
just tell me beforehand, and she didn't tell me beforehand.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Do you not appreciate transformation? That's true, that's true that
she is tune, and you're just like, yeah, yeah, I'm right, you're.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Right, you're right.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'm really not being a feminist.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
There we go, pick up that book from Margaret Atwater. Yeah,
that would that would Yeah, pick up my book of
feminist pode treated. Obviously, I need to remind myself now.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
At the same time, I'm still pretty mad because I
was not informed first.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
As you should be. Oh, Bi, do not walk that back.
That is that is not chill. Chill.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
She then explains nobody intended it to happen. This was
simply just a wasted decision. I understand that's plausible, but
I'm still uncomfortable. I tried to kiss her, and she
asked me not to because she needs to sleep for
a while since she'll be working in a couple of hours.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
I'm not liking it.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You know what I'm thinking, Johnny boy, I'm thinking we're trickling.
I'm thinking we're trickling. I think we have a little
case of the trickle truth.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Mm hmm. She's got the full the full thing.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
But let me just yeah, yeah, we kissed, but we
and we stayed in the same bed, but we definitely
didn't hook up. And then like the next day it's like, well,
we hooked up, but it was definitely only him. The
next day is like, well, the whole friend grew hooked
up and it was a massive class action or next day,
(06:00):
the next day, you know, it just it just get
better and better.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I think that's all.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
We're trickle truth, and it's about to We're gonna from
snowball to avalanche.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
That's where we're headed. My ealth is definitely dirty. Oh god, yeah,
that's why she just wanted to kids.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, dude, I'm surprised he's so willing and ready to smooch.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Rose, the most understanding human on the planet. To understand,
to understanding, to understand too nice. So she says she
needs to sleep for a while and that she'll be
working in a couple of hours.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
That's fair.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I have to shower and go to work too well.
A few days past and a friend of hers text me.
It was nothing spicy, but she comments on one of
my Instagram posts complimenting my body. We've been in the
same group of friends for over a decade and complimenting
is rather acceptable in the group Dynamics. The last time
we met, I felt a different look and it was
stuck in my head. I even commented on it with
(06:50):
my wife and we laughed about it. I guess I
should start a conversation and see where it leads.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I think, bro, everyone's mess Like, you had a perfect
relationship and you're messing it up. Dude, you're messing it up.
Is there a game that we like you don't have
the wrong decisions?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Dude, Like, is there a game where it's like we
stop reading when they stop making the wrong decision?
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, like they just everye decision?
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I like that. Actually, yah, that's great.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
We read Reddit stories until someone actually does something good.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yes, yeah, someone stops being in it. Yeah, there's there's
someone the a hole, there's something that so far complete
failure across the board. We are good to keep going.
So my suspicions were not wrong. She wanted to have
an affair with me?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Why not? I think she wanted to have an affair.
Is she in a relationship?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
So this is the Instagram girl.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
She wants to have an affair, but it's not an
affair if they're in an open marriage, right.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Yeah I guess that. Yeah, they need to like get
better at their like hook up. Look up dictionary.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Definition, dude, I think nothing in this relationship has been defined.
They're they're like, all right, if you're gonna have an
open relationship. If you're gonna do nonminogamy, the rules have
to be defined. E mean, even if you're a regular relationship,
you have to define like what is flirting, what's not flirting,
what's okay in a relationship? You know, like all these
things have to be defined because people have very different
conceptualizations of what a relationship is. And you haven't talked
(08:10):
about it, then you don't know what each other think. Right,
So with this, they haven't talked about crap. They're just
wheeling and dealing. They're like the gun slingers in the
wild West. There are no rules. There's people being alived
in the streets every day because they're they're you know,
there's a sheriff in town and he's not looking, he's
not making any rules. He's in his little share of corner.
I don't know, drinking whisky alone.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
You've seen those those like air force shows, right, Opie
and his partner, they're.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Not trained shows.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
What air force show?
Speaker 4 (08:37):
You know where they take the planes and they do
like backflips.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
And oh yeah, like the Blue Angels.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
The Blue Angels. Opi and his partner are getting into
these planes. They're flying to loopy loops zero training and
they're going to land. That's what they Yeah, that's what
they're doing. That's what they're doing, and that's what they're expecting. Yes,
we're gonna have a fireworks show. And it's not gonna
be the fireworks. It's going to be your plane crashing
into the ground.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yes, it's good.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
There'll be fireworks, all right, there will be the good way. Well,
he says, I also kissed one girl the other night.
I think this is a whole other woman. It feels
like they're one upping each other.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I hate this.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I told my wife about it, and she's surprisingly got
mat Who could have predicted No, one could have guessed
the cluster, beautiful butterflies flying everywhere. God make a little
caterpillar babies rip communicate.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
I can't stress this enough.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
If you haven't talked about what your relationship is and
what flirting means, what talking to other people means, like,
like what the bounds of your relationship is, you do
not know you like someone might think that smooching other
people isn't cheating. Someone might think that watching of is
not cheating. You know, we've had stories where people have
(09:45):
been aligne align yourselves, talk about it.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Now.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
We gotta keep we're taking the planes. We're going in
different directions.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Really, I think when you become exclusive with someone or
it's like like a real relationship, you're like all right,
we gotta go like what what's okay?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
What's not okay?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I listen, I've said this before in the show, and
I want to say it again so that way comments
can either fight against me or agree with me. I
think that relationship counseling in the beginning just purely to
under fully get a sink of each other, like how
to best serve each other is kind of a fire
idea because you avoid all of the things like this,
I mean, OP sounds like a lost cause.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
But like you know, for us saying humans.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
We should make like a Google doc of like these
are the questions that you ask your partner to align on,
like what life? Yeah, I feel like what what what
a relationship?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
What kind of relationship you want to engage in? Yes,
we should make that.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
It would be fun, would be good bank link.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yeah, stay tuned for that. He make that. Hey it's Sam,
your og host.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Here.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
So I told my wife about it. She surprisingly got mad.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
She said it seemed like I was acting like I
wanted to get back at her, wanted to equalize, you know,
one up.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
In each other.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
That I shouldn't do something like that to a friend
of hers and it would ruin her circle of friends.
At this point, I'm confused, So I start to think
about it. She's pretty distant these days, and I'm about
to go to work for some time abroad and I'm
not going to see her for a long time. And
she's been talking so passionately about her work, and her
colleagues are coworkers, especially the one she hooked up with.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Also like man spidy sinkling. Man's spidy senses are tinkling, tingling,
they're tingling very late.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Oh yeah, Like she was just like hit by a
ton of bricks. And it's like two days later.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
It's like, ow, did I just get hit?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I just getna hit?
Speaker 4 (11:26):
What the heck? I need an add villa.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Also, the male coworker was acting really strange towards me
last time I happened to encounter her at work. She's
also acting like she didn't want me to be around
her in her.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Work environment anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I get really confused because part of my job involves
being in her workplace for like an hour or two
at least once a week.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
So Bruce, like, I.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Literally like has to work with her once or be
in her workspace once a week.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
And now the guy she's looking up and is getting back, Dude,
this is.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I was crashing out so hard, loved her, and I
hate it.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
He's crashing out so hard, but he has no idea
it's happening.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I know he's just watching it. It's just so sad
listening to this story. And it's like, move away from
the bus. It's like it's just stand of there, buzz
good go oh boy.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
So I was the one who talked them into employing her.
I've known those guys longer than she has.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Oh, and they're bone in your.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Your girl, They're bone in your girl. She's getting a bonus.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Then I made the huge mistake and looks for her phone.
The conversation with this guy is getting really intimate. Who
could have ever foreseen that They even jokingly send nudie pics.
It's actually their feet. Wow, they're really close. And when
I confront her. I am aware that I shouldn't have
looked through her phone, but I need to say how
hurt I am, how it was treason since she wasn't
(12:54):
honest with me from the beginning, and how she was
effortlessly trying to push me away from her life.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Since we are just splitting.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
The household bills at this point, we remember the perfect
relationship we started with.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Just yeah, I know, you ruined it. You ruined it.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
We're not having spicy sleep anymore, not even kissing anymore.
So I then proceed to tell her, with many many tears,
that I have been afraid of the end for like
a really long time, and it would be devastatingly dreadful
to me if it happened, but I'm ready to accept
it since she has been seeing that same coworker, and
to me, the way that it happened felt like cheating,
and I even felt like I still loved her.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
But wasn't in love anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Everyone's heir like op just did not establish he didn't
establish any rules.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
It's like, like you didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You're like, oh, like, let's do nominogamy without saying what
that mean to like what that meant to each of you,
it's just so silly.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah, And he went from like, oh, she's finally for like,
oh I believe in it, to oh, she's finally free
like just be like, I just want to be with you.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
I don't. He just doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't know himself.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yeah, you do know other people.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
I think he's like he has a case of like again, intellectually,
I see like nonnion, I'll give me having benefits in it, Like,
I think it could work intellectually, but like for me, emotionally,
I couldn't work right now.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I'm too entrenched in right now. Right or at least
right now, I don't know. Maybe in a decade or something,
through lots of conversations with a partner that I love,
maybe I could get to that point, but definitely not
right now. And I think man just skipped all those
steps and was like, let's try it out.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Ladies, mark your calendars ten years from this day forward,
and DM Samuel Donner ten years from now it will begin.
Please someone, please, someone take this clip and send it
to him ten years later.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Please as.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Yeah, you're definitely gonna be not definitely, but you know, oh.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, there's a lot of clips that are gonna backfire
in ten years.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Wait, well, enough, same torture, let's get back to it.
So she cries a lot and asks me to forgive her.
She recognizes that everything I said is true and that
she wasn't even thinking during this whole time, and she
didn't want to lose what we have.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
I don't care, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I don't believe you.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
I then look at.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Her and ask if she loves me or our relationship,
and she broke down into tears and says she loves
both and wants to keep them. Now, we traveled for
the holidays and everything started to just started working again.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Everything's getting back to normal. Nothing will go wrong.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I rapidly fell in love with her one more time,
and things were great.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
And that's the end of the story. Worth tuning out.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Things were not talked about enough.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Nope, no it's not it's not over. I feel like
there's more.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
There's Is there more juice to this story?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Actually a lot more. We're barely halfway done. Oh my god,
Except for now. I didn't want to spend all of
these months away from her. It was a great work opportunity,
but in another country. Remember his workship that was coming up.
Even the Internet could not be enough. I asked her
to stay, but she didn't want to. And even then,
time after time she encouraged me to stay and pursue.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
The stream of mine.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
But deep down in my heart, all I wanted was
for her to ask me to stay with her. So
he's He's like, I don't want.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
To go on this workshrip. She's like, hey, go ahead,
and he's secretly he's like.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Oh, I wonder why she wants you to go on
this work trip. Huh, I wonder why?
Speaker 4 (16:10):
So you know he can explore.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
They I think you want to explore. You're gonna be butterflying.
You're gonna be butterflying.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Dang a butterfly became bad in the store. Now I'm sad.
So now we've been living separately for two weeks.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Plot twist, bro She's gonna do something quick.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
And tonight she had spicy sleep with a male colleague
for the first time.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
She couldn't even wait two weeks. Two weeks, man, two weeks,
she couldn't wait a fortnight.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
We're on a paycheck cycle. Okay, two weeks? Come on, baby,
what is odd about it?
Speaker 4 (16:41):
You know? Nothing was odd until this thing OpenD like.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
That was fine. I was really chill with d Is that.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
When we FaceTime this morning, she was telling me how
her night out was and how much fun she had.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
But she just told me that they went to a
place to sleep, just sleeping.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
No spice.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
She only confirmed that they had spicy sleep because I
asked her if she wore protection, otherwise she would have
told me that they only slept in the same room,
so she was called truth. I think it was like, uh, oh, yeah,
we slept together, you know, we were in the same
bad like no, no, no da. I felt like she was
almost like kind of trying.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
To like bulldoze the package it, you know, and then
he's like, well did you where?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
And now she's forced to either lie or tell the truth,
which but wait, there's more. When she left for work,
she texted me saying that she'd go have a drink
by herself alone. I responded for her to please let
me know when she arrives home, but she never texted
me again.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
I even confronted her about it in the morning, and.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
She apologetically said that her phone was in her purse
and she didn't even take it out during the whole night.
I guess she was busy with her hands other places. Also,
she was really planning on drinking alone. But what'd you
know what? Her lover just showed up after she asked
for some bar address.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Who would have b Yeah, yeah, I mean I would
have not slept with him, but then he texted me
and called me.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
But then okay, she told me again the spicy sleep.
It wasn't playing and that's why she didn't let me know.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
You know, hey, this was unplayed. And even if it's
not planned, is it really is really cheating?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, it's barely it's barely cheating. It's not pretmeditated. It's
like cheating and like the you know, second degree. Yeah,
it's definitely not first degree cheating. Not meditate on it
and that and cheat. It's just like, oh oopsoop, a
little stabby stabby here, perfect little stabby stabby.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
How are you? How are you making love these days?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
God?
Speaker 4 (18:25):
By the way, you.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Can listen a full episode if you want more of that,
you can listen to full episodes of stories just like this.
Just go to Spotify afble podcasts your favorite podcast out
in search. Okay, story time, but ladies and gentlemen. We're
almost at the end of the saga. Oh my god,
I'm gonna dive in to the phase.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Dude.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I just I feel so bad and not bad at
all for this guy.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
So the problem is that she's seen my text at
some point during the night and chose not to say anything.
I feel like she's feeling guilty about having a lover,
even though I stated many times that I find that normal.
We only owe each other the truth and full trust.
She broke my trust from the beginning. Is that why
I feel so bad about this whole situation?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yes? Yes?
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Is that why?
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Dude, she she broke your trust.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Stand up. I don't stand up.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Man's sitting down on his laurels. What's happening? It's just
stand up for his morals.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Could it be that I'm just jealous and witching about
this whole situation?
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Am I envious?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Because she's having a really good time and I'm in
a whole different country alone and miserable, not meeting people,
and I still haven't gotten.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
Any payments from her.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Man is down bad.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Everyone talks her. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
You must stand up for yourself. This is not like again,
appreciate the intellectual exploration of non monogamy, but you didn't
talk about it enough. And also she's not sticking to
the one thing that you did talk about is just
like being clear about what's going to happen and not
breaking your trust.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Yes, and she's doing that. She's doing that. So I'm sorry,
op Like, but I think you've handled a lot wrong here.
You need to stand up for yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
You need to create clear boundaries and expectations of what
you want a relationship, and that was not done. You're
kind of doomed to fail. And I think it is
definitely more on her part because she is lying to
you and not being like forthreat. But you also aren't
establishing enough boundaries and you're not sticking true to them
when she crosses them. And I think because of those
of both those reasons, you're kind of being an a
(20:16):
hole to yourself.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Being an a hole to yourself, be kinder to yourself.
You can have just a relationship with one person and
then'd be good. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
But let us know if you think it's okay. Put
your answer to the comments below, and what should op
do This last update wasn't submitted too long ago, so
we can still help, still hope, But with that, if
you'll love us, make sure to subscribe We love you,
and see it tomorrow
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I encourage my wife to explore non monogamy and it
ruined my marriage.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Oh man, she explored it too much.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
Who a funk?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
So I thirty mail and in an eight year long
happy marriage with my thirty female, beautiful wife.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Nothing to complain about during all of those years.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Really, neither of us wanted kids, both of us wanted cats,
and we are passionate about traveling.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
We've spent two years living in a motor home.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Through South America, plus backpacking every vacation to different countries
thirty three so far.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
That is sick.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
This sounds like your dream, yeah, dude, except maybe not
the failed but non monogamy everything else.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
So that's great, little piece, oh man.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
All things considered, we have a nearly perfect life. By
the way, this comes from Remarkable Net forty six fifty eight,
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash to okay start time. Summer sent
them in. But I have to say I never believed
in monogamy. It was always clear to her, but as
this has never been her belief, I've always been okay
with it and never cheated nor asked her permission to
get involved with anybody because I've always felt completely fulfilled
(01:06):
in our relationship.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
So not a believer in non monogamy.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
But is doing it for his part, which I think
is like fine, that's hey, Like that's fine if you
actually don't.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
You know, run around perfect. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Remember, Nevertheless, I always told her if she were willing
to have something with any other person, it would be
completely okay for me, even though I don't have that
permission myself. So he's saying, like, yo, you can go
see other guys. I'm coold that I don't even need
to see other woman.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
He's cool with it.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I feel like this is gonna backfire. Bro, this has
gone a backfire. Non monogamy is I mean, any kind
of relationship is tricky, but when you just have like
so many relationship dynamics gets complicated. People can do it
for sure, but it's just difficult.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
You need to spread your like my the butterfly on
my shirt. She needs to spread her wings and fly.
Why are you trying to cocoon herself.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
She's gonna fly away.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Let her.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
She is gonna fly away.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
In any direction, including away.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So the only thing I asked her would be to
tell me that first. So in the last couple of months,
she told me that she would also give me the
permission to be with other people if I wanted to.
So now dual permission, dual permission. As I said, I'm
fulfilled by her. I am actually completely devoted to her.
She is my muse.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Every day I wake up grateful for having her in
my life.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Why are you trying to change you?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Guys?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Have it perfect? What do you tr Why are you
trying to change it?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
No, no, it's not broken, but we have to fix it. Man,
we met in college and I had never been in
love before her, And during all the twelve years since
we've known each other, I have never wanted anyone else,
So I didn't look for anyone to hook up with.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
I don't even know if he believes in non monogamy.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
He sounds so you sound very monogamous. Well, I think
you can, like believe that monogamy is not the best
relationship structure, but find yourself in a relationship that gives
you everything you need.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Or like, maybe it's a conceptual Conceptually, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Like for me, conceptually, I think non monogamy makes more
sense monogamy, but I don't think I could be in
a non monogamous relationship.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Right, that's what he's thinking.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
That's that's what I think.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Oh, that's what you think.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, Conceptually, I think non monogamy makes more sense in monogamy,
but I feeling space.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I thought it doesn't feel good for me.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Right, dude, you and OP need to link up. I
feel like you would be the best buds.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Oh man, I'm looking into my future.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Definitely everything I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
But one night a month ago, she didn't come home
from work and didn't tell me anything. Of Course, I
was worried and texted her hours later, around two or
three am in the morning. She told me she was
drinking with her colleagues, which is pretty regular, but she
always tells me in advance, not this time. So in
the morning, I go to work and she still hasn't
come home yet, and we only met after I returned home.
Of course, I'm mad, thank god, for the first time,
(03:46):
but I patiently wait for her to tell me how
her night bar hopping was and how fun it was.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
She then proceeds to tell me she hooked up with.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
One of her male coworkers and she didn't say anything
about it beforehand. What was the one rule? See, this
is what I'm saying, dude.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
It's like, once you open up the lid of the
can a little bit, just just people with no scruples
are going bust and open that can and peeing inside
of it.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Gotta fly away, fly away. And they slept in the
same bed, no spicy sleeping.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Wait, oh okay, so they didn't like fully hook up,
so they slept in the same bab maybe yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Okay, yeah, yeah. They smooched. They a little smooch, little snogging.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
And Opie says, I'm happy for her, she's finally free. Really,
there you go, he's happy for her. Really, Okay, let
him be thrilled, let him be over joined.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I would be a little annoyed if I said, hey,
just tell me beforehand, and she didn't tell me beforehand.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Do you not appreciate transformation? That's true, that's true that
she is tune, and you're just like, yeah, yeah, I'm right, you're.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Right, you're right.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'm really not being a feminist.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
There we go, pick up that book from Margaret Atwater. Yeah,
that would that would Yeah, pick up my book of
feminist pode treated. Obviously, I need to remind myself now.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
At the same time, I'm still pretty mad because I
was not informed first.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
As you should be. Oh, Bi, do not walk that back.
That is that is not chill. Chill.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
She then explains nobody intended it to happen. This was
simply just a wasted decision. I understand that's plausible, but
I'm still uncomfortable. I tried to kiss her, and she
asked me not to because she needs to sleep for
a while since she'll be working in a couple of hours.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
I'm not liking it.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You know what I'm thinking, Johnny boy, I'm thinking we're trickling.
I'm thinking we're trickling. I think we have a little
case of the trickle truth.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Mm hmm. She's got the full the full thing.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
But let me just yeah, yeah, we kissed, but we
and we stayed in the same bed, but we definitely
didn't hook up. And then like the next day it's like, well,
we hooked up, but it was definitely only him. The
next day is like, well, the whole friend grew hooked
up and it was a massive class action or next day,
(06:00):
the next day, you know, it just it just get
better and better.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I think that's all.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
We're trickle truth, and it's about to We're gonna from
snowball to avalanche.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
That's where we're headed. My ealth is definitely dirty. Oh god, yeah,
that's why she just wanted to kids.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, dude, I'm surprised he's so willing and ready to smooch.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Rose, the most understanding human on the planet. To understand,
to understanding, to understand too nice. So she says she
needs to sleep for a while and that she'll be
working in a couple of hours.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
That's fair.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I have to shower and go to work too well.
A few days past and a friend of hers text me.
It was nothing spicy, but she comments on one of
my Instagram posts complimenting my body. We've been in the
same group of friends for over a decade and complimenting
is rather acceptable in the group Dynamics. The last time
we met, I felt a different look and it was
stuck in my head. I even commented on it with
(06:50):
my wife and we laughed about it. I guess I
should start a conversation and see where it leads.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I think, bro, everyone's mess Like, you had a perfect
relationship and you're messing it up. Dude, you're messing it up.
Is there a game that we like you don't have
the wrong decisions?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Dude, Like, is there a game where it's like we
stop reading when they stop making the wrong decision?
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, like they just everye decision?
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I like that. Actually, yah, that's great.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
We read Reddit stories until someone actually does something good.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yes, yeah, someone stops being in it. Yeah, there's there's
someone the a hole, there's something that so far complete
failure across the board. We are good to keep going.
So my suspicions were not wrong. She wanted to have
an affair with me?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Why not? I think she wanted to have an affair.
Is she in a relationship?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
So this is the Instagram girl.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
She wants to have an affair, but it's not an
affair if they're in an open marriage, right.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Yeah I guess that. Yeah, they need to like get
better at their like hook up. Look up dictionary.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Definition, dude, I think nothing in this relationship has been defined.
They're they're like, all right, if you're gonna have an
open relationship. If you're gonna do nonminogamy, the rules have
to be defined. E mean, even if you're a regular relationship,
you have to define like what is flirting, what's not flirting,
what's okay in a relationship? You know, like all these
things have to be defined because people have very different
conceptualizations of what a relationship is. And you haven't talked
(08:10):
about it, then you don't know what each other think. Right,
So with this, they haven't talked about crap. They're just
wheeling and dealing. They're like the gun slingers in the
wild West. There are no rules. There's people being alived
in the streets every day because they're they're you know,
there's a sheriff in town and he's not looking, he's
not making any rules. He's in his little share of corner.
I don't know, drinking whisky alone.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
You've seen those those like air force shows, right, Opie
and his partner, they're.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Not trained shows.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
What air force show?
Speaker 4 (08:37):
You know where they take the planes and they do
like backflips.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
And oh yeah, like the Blue Angels.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
The Blue Angels. Opi and his partner are getting into
these planes. They're flying to loopy loops zero training and
they're going to land. That's what they Yeah, that's what
they're doing. That's what they're doing, and that's what they're expecting. Yes,
we're gonna have a fireworks show. And it's not gonna
be the fireworks. It's going to be your plane crashing
into the ground.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yes, it's good.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
There'll be fireworks, all right, there will be the good way. Well,
he says, I also kissed one girl the other night.
I think this is a whole other woman. It feels
like they're one upping each other.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I hate this.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I told my wife about it, and she's surprisingly got
mat Who could have predicted No, one could have guessed
the cluster, beautiful butterflies flying everywhere. God make a little
caterpillar babies rip communicate.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
I can't stress this enough.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
If you haven't talked about what your relationship is and
what flirting means, what talking to other people means, like,
like what the bounds of your relationship is, you do
not know you like someone might think that smooching other
people isn't cheating. Someone might think that watching of is
not cheating. You know, we've had stories where people have
(09:45):
been aligne align yourselves, talk about it.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Now.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
We gotta keep we're taking the planes. We're going in
different directions.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Really, I think when you become exclusive with someone or
it's like like a real relationship, you're like all right,
we gotta go like what what's okay?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
What's not okay?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I listen, I've said this before in the show, and
I want to say it again so that way comments
can either fight against me or agree with me. I
think that relationship counseling in the beginning just purely to
under fully get a sink of each other, like how
to best serve each other is kind of a fire
idea because you avoid all of the things like this,
I mean, OP sounds like a lost cause.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
But like you know, for us saying humans.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
We should make like a Google doc of like these
are the questions that you ask your partner to align on,
like what life? Yeah, I feel like what what what
a relationship?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
What kind of relationship you want to engage in? Yes,
we should make that.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
It would be fun, would be good bank link.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yeah, stay tuned for that. He make that. Hey it's Sam,
your og host.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Here.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
So I told my wife about it. She surprisingly got mad.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
She said it seemed like I was acting like I
wanted to get back at her, wanted to equalize, you know,
one up.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
In each other.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
That I shouldn't do something like that to a friend
of hers and it would ruin her circle of friends.
At this point, I'm confused, So I start to think
about it. She's pretty distant these days, and I'm about
to go to work for some time abroad and I'm
not going to see her for a long time. And
she's been talking so passionately about her work, and her
colleagues are coworkers, especially the one she hooked up with.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Also like man spidy sinkling. Man's spidy senses are tinkling, tingling,
they're tingling very late.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Oh yeah, Like she was just like hit by a
ton of bricks. And it's like two days later.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
It's like, ow, did I just get hit?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I just getna hit?
Speaker 4 (11:26):
What the heck? I need an add villa.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Also, the male coworker was acting really strange towards me
last time I happened to encounter her at work. She's
also acting like she didn't want me to be around
her in her.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Work environment anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I get really confused because part of my job involves
being in her workplace for like an hour or two
at least once a week.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
So Bruce, like, I.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Literally like has to work with her once or be
in her workspace once a week.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
And now the guy she's looking up and is getting back, Dude,
this is.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I was crashing out so hard, loved her, and I
hate it.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
He's crashing out so hard, but he has no idea
it's happening.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I know he's just watching it. It's just so sad
listening to this story. And it's like, move away from
the bus. It's like it's just stand of there, buzz
good go oh boy.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
So I was the one who talked them into employing her.
I've known those guys longer than she has.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Oh, and they're bone in your.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Your girl, They're bone in your girl. She's getting a bonus.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Then I made the huge mistake and looks for her phone.
The conversation with this guy is getting really intimate. Who
could have ever foreseen that They even jokingly send nudie pics.
It's actually their feet. Wow, they're really close. And when
I confront her. I am aware that I shouldn't have
looked through her phone, but I need to say how
hurt I am, how it was treason since she wasn't
(12:54):
honest with me from the beginning, and how she was
effortlessly trying to push me away from her life.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Since we are just splitting.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
The household bills at this point, we remember the perfect
relationship we started with.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Just yeah, I know, you ruined it. You ruined it.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
We're not having spicy sleep anymore, not even kissing anymore.
So I then proceed to tell her, with many many tears,
that I have been afraid of the end for like
a really long time, and it would be devastatingly dreadful
to me if it happened, but I'm ready to accept
it since she has been seeing that same coworker, and
to me, the way that it happened felt like cheating,
and I even felt like I still loved her.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
But wasn't in love anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Everyone's heir like op just did not establish he didn't
establish any rules.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
It's like, like you didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You're like, oh, like, let's do nominogamy without saying what
that mean to like what that meant to each of you,
it's just so silly.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah, And he went from like, oh, she's finally for like,
oh I believe in it, to oh, she's finally free
like just be like, I just want to be with you.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
I don't. He just doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't know himself.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yeah, you do know other people.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
I think he's like he has a case of like again, intellectually,
I see like nonnion, I'll give me having benefits in it, Like,
I think it could work intellectually, but like for me, emotionally,
I couldn't work right now.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I'm too entrenched in right now. Right or at least
right now, I don't know. Maybe in a decade or something,
through lots of conversations with a partner that I love,
maybe I could get to that point, but definitely not
right now. And I think man just skipped all those
steps and was like, let's try it out.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Ladies, mark your calendars ten years from this day forward,
and DM Samuel Donner ten years from now it will begin.
Please someone, please, someone take this clip and send it
to him ten years later.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Please as.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Yeah, you're definitely gonna be not definitely, but you know, oh.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, there's a lot of clips that are gonna backfire
in ten years.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Wait, well, enough, same torture, let's get back to it.
So she cries a lot and asks me to forgive her.
She recognizes that everything I said is true and that
she wasn't even thinking during this whole time, and she
didn't want to lose what we have.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
I don't care, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I don't believe you.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
I then look at.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Her and ask if she loves me or our relationship,
and she broke down into tears and says she loves
both and wants to keep them. Now, we traveled for
the holidays and everything started to just started working again.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Everything's getting back to normal. Nothing will go wrong.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I rapidly fell in love with her one more time,
and things were great.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
And that's the end of the story. Worth tuning out.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Things were not talked about enough.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Nope, no it's not it's not over. I feel like
there's more.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
There's Is there more juice to this story?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Actually a lot more. We're barely halfway done. Oh my god,
Except for now. I didn't want to spend all of
these months away from her. It was a great work opportunity,
but in another country. Remember his workship that was coming up.
Even the Internet could not be enough. I asked her
to stay, but she didn't want to. And even then,
time after time she encouraged me to stay and pursue.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
The stream of mine.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
But deep down in my heart, all I wanted was
for her to ask me to stay with her. So
he's He's like, I don't want.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
To go on this workshrip. She's like, hey, go ahead,
and he's secretly he's like.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Oh, I wonder why she wants you to go on
this work trip. Huh, I wonder why?
Speaker 4 (16:10):
So you know he can explore.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
They I think you want to explore. You're gonna be butterflying.
You're gonna be butterflying.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Dang a butterfly became bad in the store. Now I'm sad.
So now we've been living separately for two weeks.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Plot twist, bro She's gonna do something quick.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
And tonight she had spicy sleep with a male colleague
for the first time.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
She couldn't even wait two weeks. Two weeks, man, two weeks,
she couldn't wait a fortnight.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
We're on a paycheck cycle. Okay, two weeks? Come on, baby,
what is odd about it?
Speaker 4 (16:41):
You know? Nothing was odd until this thing OpenD like.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
That was fine. I was really chill with d Is that.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
When we FaceTime this morning, she was telling me how
her night out was and how much fun she had.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
But she just told me that they went to a
place to sleep, just sleeping.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
No spice.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
She only confirmed that they had spicy sleep because I
asked her if she wore protection, otherwise she would have
told me that they only slept in the same room,
so she was called truth. I think it was like, uh, oh, yeah,
we slept together, you know, we were in the same
bad like no, no, no da. I felt like she was
almost like kind of trying.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
To like bulldoze the package it, you know, and then
he's like, well did you where?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
And now she's forced to either lie or tell the truth,
which but wait, there's more. When she left for work,
she texted me saying that she'd go have a drink
by herself alone. I responded for her to please let
me know when she arrives home, but she never texted
me again.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
I even confronted her about it in the morning, and.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
She apologetically said that her phone was in her purse
and she didn't even take it out during the whole night.
I guess she was busy with her hands other places. Also,
she was really planning on drinking alone. But what'd you
know what? Her lover just showed up after she asked
for some bar address.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Who would have b Yeah, yeah, I mean I would
have not slept with him, but then he texted me
and called me.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
But then okay, she told me again the spicy sleep.
It wasn't playing and that's why she didn't let me know.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
You know, hey, this was unplayed. And even if it's
not planned, is it really is really cheating?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, it's barely it's barely cheating. It's not pretmeditated. It's
like cheating and like the you know, second degree. Yeah,
it's definitely not first degree cheating. Not meditate on it
and that and cheat. It's just like, oh oopsoop, a
little stabby stabby here, perfect little stabby stabby.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
How are you? How are you making love these days?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
God?
Speaker 4 (18:25):
By the way, you.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Can listen a full episode if you want more of that,
you can listen to full episodes of stories just like this.
Just go to Spotify afble podcasts your favorite podcast out
in search. Okay, story time, but ladies and gentlemen. We're
almost at the end of the saga. Oh my god,
I'm gonna dive in to the phase.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Dude.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I just I feel so bad and not bad at
all for this guy.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
So the problem is that she's seen my text at
some point during the night and chose not to say anything.
I feel like she's feeling guilty about having a lover,
even though I stated many times that I find that normal.
We only owe each other the truth and full trust.
She broke my trust from the beginning. Is that why
I feel so bad about this whole situation?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yes? Yes?
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Is that why?
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Dude, she she broke your trust.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Stand up. I don't stand up.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Man's sitting down on his laurels. What's happening? It's just
stand up for his morals.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Could it be that I'm just jealous and witching about
this whole situation?
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Am I envious?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Because she's having a really good time and I'm in
a whole different country alone and miserable, not meeting people,
and I still haven't gotten.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
Any payments from her.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Man is down bad.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Everyone talks her. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
You must stand up for yourself. This is not like again,
appreciate the intellectual exploration of non monogamy, but you didn't
talk about it enough. And also she's not sticking to
the one thing that you did talk about is just
like being clear about what's going to happen and not
breaking your trust.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Yes, and she's doing that. She's doing that. So I'm sorry,
op Like, but I think you've handled a lot wrong here.
You need to stand up for yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
You need to create clear boundaries and expectations of what
you want a relationship, and that was not done. You're
kind of doomed to fail. And I think it is
definitely more on her part because she is lying to
you and not being like forthreat. But you also aren't
establishing enough boundaries and you're not sticking true to them
when she crosses them. And I think because of those
of both those reasons, you're kind of being an a
(20:16):
hole to yourself.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Being an a hole to yourself, be kinder to yourself.
You can have just a relationship with one person and
then'd be good. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
But let us know if you think it's okay. Put
your answer to the comments below, and what should op
do This last update wasn't submitted too long ago, so
we can still help, still hope, But with that, if
you'll love us, make sure to subscribe We love you,
and see it tomorrow
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