January 15, 2025 • 33 mins
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r/bestofpostiveupdates - AITAH For telling my wife she's free to find a hotel room if she doesn't want my daughter here?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My wife wants to evict my daughter. I want to
kick her out instead, get her out of here. My
daughter Anna is sixteen years old. She was an accident
when I was twenty four, and his mother and I
were never together as a couple cause it was a
one night stand, but we have maintained a friendly and
healthy co parenting relationship since she was born and we
became good friends. By the way, This comes from Tyler
(00:21):
sixteen twenty on the best of Positive Updates subberdy ooh
positive positive update. My daughter has been living on another
continent for a few years with her mother and stepfather,
but she wants to come back because she doesn't feel
comfortable there and misses her family and friends. Anna doesn't
know their language well and it's still hard for her
to learn it fully, so she feels really lonely since
(00:42):
it is different to speak your native language than make
friends by speaking a foreign language.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
From zero, absolute fact, already hard enough.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
You're already getting you know, bullied, eating your lunch in
the yeah it'ud bathroom.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah. Imagine not being able to say anything back when
they're like, oh, like is your refrigerator running? And like
I don't know whatever foreign language. You're just like, well,
actually that would have that would have worked well if
it was that's true. Is Germany a little less yes,
although you know what helps this Actually this is totally
not a prescription. Drinking alcohol help speak any language very well.
(01:13):
But this person's sixteen, so I can't really recognize, can't
rec Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a couple of years maybe.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I spoke with my daughter's mother and we thought it
was a good idea to let Anna live with me.
Her room is now my home office, but I can
easily put together a room for her. Again, we didn't
confirm anything, talk to my wife about it first, and
I was sure that she was going to be okay
with that because we literally talked about that possibility before
on the agenda. It there, it was in front of
their faces. On problem. Doesn't want that to happen, change mind.
(01:43):
My wife and Anna daughter have never been close because
they only meet in person for our wedding when I
was able to pay a ticket for my daughter to come.
That was the last time I saw my daughter in
person too, plane tickets are too expensive. But they do
tend to talk a little when I make calls with
Anna every day, but not too much. Anna is the daughter.
She's sixteen. Yes again, Anna is the sixteen year old
(02:04):
daughter that is the product of a one night stand.
She's living in another country, but wants to come back
and live with Ope, which might be a little bit
easier for her because she speaks Opea's language a little
more easily.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Don't need to eat lunch of the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Don't need to eat lunch in the bathroom. Did you
ever eat lunch in the bathroom? No, that's good, that's good.
I'm glad. Yeah, did you Why do you say it
like that?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Because you were like I feel like if you hadn't,
you would have been like, oh, yeah, me too. You
know we were able to make it out without that.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I know. I don't think so I didn't. I think
I ate lunch with the weirdest kids for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Let's put way better than the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
It's way better than the bath friends. Yeah, I had friends.
I had the weirdest friends.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I think they were cool. Yeah, it was great. So.
Anna also talks to her brother and he likes her
a lot, even if they see each other on video call.
My wife says, Anna is not going to feel comfortable
in a house with strangers, and Ope's kind of just
saying like, wait, this isn't a house with strangers. She's
seen them, at least on FaceTime.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
She's like, but she's a stranger to me. Sorry, bro.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
And I told her that we are literally her family,
and she said no, she and our toddler are not
Anna's family. So Opie's significant other than toddler because they
barely know her in person. It honestly hurts me that
she thinks that way, but I understand her point of view.
Although our taller is Anna's brother, and it really annoyed
me that she said that because our little one really
loves his sister, even if they just see each other online.
(03:21):
So I feel like the biological mother is kind of
It's like she's okay with this co parenting from a
far relationship, but as soon as her daughter is thinking
about getting close to Ope, she's like, no, no, no,
can't have that.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
App she was pulling a bluff.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah, She's like, oh, I'll tell him, Oh, I'm so
about it to you know, get in the door, we'll
have the kid and everything. And now she's like, oh,
well now that I'm here, now I can Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Exactly well, she she has all the power. She literally
was able to bring her daughter to another country and
raise her. I think, probably, like you said, under the
pretense that they would both have equal say in her life.
But yeah, I think she's she's kind of knows that
she has power. She's like like a like a dictator
that gets power and says like I'm going to give
it back to the people. But then he feels the power.
(04:04):
It's like like I like being a king.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Yeah, and again this is a conspiracy theory, but I
do at this point think that she had this kind
of plan all along, that she never really was okay
with it.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
She just said it when it wasn't an imminent.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Threat, exactly exactly. Yeah, she's she's pulling some some Emperor
Palpatine games. Dude, don't like it, don't like it, don't
like it. Don't like it one bit. Yeah. I just
rewatched those those helps, those cinema masterpieces.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I have seen. So there you go.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
So I had an argument with my wife about it,
and I ended up telling her that my daughter will
always come first, because it's true for me, my children
will always come before any other person. And she knew
very well about my daughter when we married. This is
talking about opiecing ef another his wife. My wife got
angry and said that bringing Anna home would change how
(04:56):
we handle ourselves and that she doesn't want to be
a stepmother. She said that Anna I lived with her
mother and other continent and it's not the same as
having her right here every day. I told her that
no one is asking her to be a stepmother because
I will be the one who will take care of
her always. My daughter used to stay many days and
even months with me, and I was the one that
took care of her. I'm not going to give my
wife all the work because I was a single father
(05:16):
for a long time and I know how to take
care of my daughter. I work, I clean, I cook.
I take full care of her son when she works
and wants to go out and do something, just like
she does with me. We both support each other in
raising our son. I don't know why many people are
so shocked by the fact that I take responsibility over
my own child.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Unbelievable be a dead beat.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
But if she doesn't respect my daughter's presence in the
house and it hates it that much, then she has
all the freedom to go to a hotel.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Room, get out of here, go check in.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
I was a big because those orbs obviously ended up
with us having a worse argument. So I guess Opie
said that directly, which is not the most uh not
the best.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
One of these, Like hey, look, I just want you
to have a five star spat experience, you know what
I mean? Yeah, you're stress about my daughter moving in.
Don't take a load off.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Also, so Shanna loss And says, I think birth mom
is okay with it, and it's actually step mom. Yeah,
the stepmom, it's not gonna be okay with it.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yeah, she's the one that it seemed like pulled a
little bait and switch where she was like, hey, it
was fine at first, but now she's like no, I don't.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Want ah yeah okay, So yeah, the problem is my
wife doesn't want that to happen. Step I was thinking
that it was oh PE's biological right, the daughter's biological
mom right, So TLDR for myself and everyone here. So
op has a daughter, Anna who lives another continent. The
biological mom is like, hey, I think she wants to
(06:33):
come over to where you are because she's lonely, can't
really speak the language as well, the daughter wants to
come too, and Op's wife is like, nah, we have
her own setup here, and it's kind of like, I
don't want your daughter here, okay. So I think we're
at one hundred percent boom, thank y'all. So my daughter
has every right to live in my house if she
wants to, but my wife doesn't want that. I really
(06:53):
love my wife, but my biggest focus is to give
the best to my children, and I would love to
have my princess here after years apart. I mean, who
wouldn't want to be with their daughter after years apart.
My wife has not been talking to me at all,
and she's very angry, but she does continue with the
same stance that she doesn't want Anna here at all,
and I know I will get angry and we'll end
(07:13):
up arguing again because I'm not going to leave my
daughter alone either. There's an edit before we get into
these big updates. So edit, my wife always knew that
Anna lived with me several days a week when she
was still in the country, because I talked with her
about that and the possibility of Anna's family returning to
the country if things went wrong. That would have meant
that Anna would come back and live with me for
(07:33):
many days or even months, like she always did. My
daughter used to come at my house every day too.
My wife agreed that years ago when we talked about that,
but now admits that she thought my daughter was going
to stay out of the country with her mother because
their business is going really well. Boom called it, called it.
Called it also throw away because my daughter uses read
it too. I changed some data as to not make
(07:54):
it too obvious. There is it edit too. Before we
get into the updates. So guys, I've been reading the
comments non stop for two hours and I have too
much they think about. Thank you for so much for
the advice, whether bad or good. This is helping me
to reflect on several things that I did not take
into account. But please don't be harsh, because I'm a
real person. There are relevant comment there is an update.
There is there is an update. But what it sounds
(08:15):
like is it sounds like your wife hates your daughter,
or at least doesn't want She believed that she would
be living this uncomplicated life where it's just our family
and we don't have to think about anyone outside of it.
And now that you've thrown in the daughter element she's
up in a up in a huff. I don't think
that's fair to Ope. I don't think that's fair to Anna.
And you know, if you sign up to this relationship
(08:36):
like you knew, you knew what could happen. So I
don't think I think like I see divorce in the future.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
It's also doubly crazy because they already have a toddler,
so it's like it would almost make more logical sense
if they had like no kids, and she's like, oh, actually,
I want to stay child free. And I get that
a teenager is different than like a two year old,
but if.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
She said that at the beginning of the relationship, they
probably wouldn't have gotten in to a relationship. But she
never said like, you know, I want to say child free,
or like I only want to have children in my
life that are hours. Yeah, like she did say that something.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Yeah, I think it is the worst case scenario here
would be not that she dislikes children. She already has
one with with Op, but I think that she specifically
either like dislikes Anna as a person or dislikes the
fact that she's like the daughter he had with like
another woman, or something along those lines, you know what
I'm saying, which like all of those are bad, and
I think it is one of those because she admitted
(09:32):
that she was like, oh, I just kind of assumed
that she would end up staying there. I gain like,
I think she intentionally reeled them in to be able to,
you know, and just hope that she wouldn't have.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
To face this.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, I think it potentially was a real end. But
we're even looking at it through the most angel like lens.
What it could be is she was fine with it,
but then she has this perfect little life that's like
really great mm hmm, and then all of a sudden,
this new factor comes in that she was not expecting,
and she's like, how is this going to change our
relationship dynamic? Is is our son going to be prioritized
(10:02):
if this new persons in the house. There's all these
fears that's swirling up with now in a completely new
familial dynamic. My I still think she's the a hole,
to be clear, So yeah, cal and I want to
agree with you there. I still think she's the a hole.
But I think there is a chance that this is
just like a gut reaction of someone who is scared
by how things might change, and if talked about long
(10:24):
enough and if just introduced to like hey, like you're
gonna have to deal with it, and just introduced it,
I think she might adapt. But you also don't want
your sixteen year old daughter to have to endure what
a stepmother adaptation looks like. Yeah, so yeah, it's you
want to prioritize your kid. Yes, so whatever is going
to be best for your kid. I guess we'll we'll
see what OP does. But what would you recommend? Ope,
(10:45):
you would do.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I think that he basically makes don't phrase it as
an ultimatum, but it kind of is where it's like, hey,
we had this like understanding going into our marriage and
life together that like you know, my kids are you know,
number on priorities, just like our son is to me
like our son Riley, our son, Riley, our little boy.
So if you can't get like a thousand percent on
(11:07):
board with that, then I don't think this is gonna work.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
You have to make it crystal clear.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, but you know, do you think
she's just gonna stay because of But she might stay
for the relationship, but like maybe there's a negative effect
on Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
She'll be I think she'll do the same thing. She'd
be like, oh, yeah, let's do it, like that sounds great.
And then she's like, hey, listen up, your little freaking punk.
You see, I'm the big I'm the big mom around here.
And you you you lock yourself in your in your
little cupboard, you know, under the stairs. Yeah, and and
you just be friends with the spiders.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, the spiders. You know. I'll give you a little
pan in a broom. You can. You can sweep the chimneys,
you can.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
It's gonna be so fun.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, it's could be so fun. Yeah, I've always wanted
a butler.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Shut up. I hate you, hate you, mama, get out
of here. That's what I think.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
But we got some relevant comments. Oh and we got
an update my my fun, little my little children, my
little pity. Oh those were pretty ease. Let's get into
these relevant comments. So the discussion with his wife, we
had it because she knows that my daughter used to
stay in my home before she left. So this is
relevant comments that Ope is responding to. By the way,
(12:14):
So so Opie says, we had a discussion because she
knows that my daughter used to stay in my home
before she left the country. My wife says that in
her mind, my daughter was always going to live with
her mother. To another comment term, she didn't say that
when we got married, she said it now. When I
told her about that possibility years ago, she said she
thought she was okay with it. Now she admits that
she thought Anna would stay there. And then another commenter says,
(12:35):
if she doesn't change her mind, do you see the
marriage lasting? And I mean, I feel like no, but
Opie says, to be honest, not at all. Even if
I left my wife, my daughter no longer feels welcome
in her school or comfortable. I don't want her to
feel that way here too, in my own home. And
a commenter says, what are you going to do about
the child that you guys share, Ope responds, my son
(12:57):
would never be homeless being.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Two years old. That's time to go.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
So you've had you've had seven hundred and thirty days.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Millions of seconds. Yeah, how do you figure out millions?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Come on, come on, get get a grip, kid, get
a grip. You know in my back in my day
or up back in John's day. Uh, they were going
to the coal mines by two.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
That was me that was.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
That was John, dude. He went straight from the coal
mines the silicon valley.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
You basically we're doing childly silicon and then you brought
the chips to the to the people of the bed.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
And that's how we and that's how we got here.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, that's how Qualcomb started.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Built it one hundred years ago.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Shout out John, where's John is? Three hundred in the chat.
That's uh, that's our that's our, our naddy right there,
let's go. So he says, my son would never be homeless.
Being okay with my wife would be an ideal plan.
But if she continues to reject my daughter's presence, we
break up. I'm going to make sure I pay her
and her son a good place to stay and go
fifty to fifty custody like I had with Anna, or
(13:58):
make some kind of co habitation agreement. Whenever I hear
the word cohabitation, I always think of like martians and aliens.
It feels very sciencey and it's rocking shippy. But I'm
going to do the same thing with my son that
I did with my daughter, which was go see her
every day and take care of her. I wouldn't fight
with my wife or stress our son out with the
grown up stuff. And commenter says, not picking sides here,
(14:19):
but if your wife leaves, so does your son. Everyone
is screaming put your child first. You may have your
daughter full time and your son fifty to fifty. Doubt
they would take a tather away from a woman you
say is a wonderful mother. I think the rock and
the hard place is a lot harder than you think.
So I think what this commentary is saying is by
prioritizing your daughter, you are deprioritizing your son.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Get one kid, lose the other.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yeah, right, Well, basically because it's like your wife is like, okay,
I'm only going to be okay with this familial dynamic
if you reject one of yours your children, and if
he rejects one of his children, there is a better
chance that his other child, his boy a better life
with like maybe a more complete holistic familial dynamic or whatever,
(15:05):
or at least like more Yeah. The Dutchess Cassanda says,
this commenter kind of sucks. Yes, it sucks, But there's
an element to that.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
That is that is a moral dilemma here.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
There is an element to that where it's like you
are there is like you're kind of picking between two things.
I think the thing that makes it easier, and the
commenter does not point this out, is like, what is
the actual right thing to do? What is in line
with your morals and like your morality, and it would
be to take care of your daughter, right, because just
because someone else's actions impact your child doesn't mean you
(15:36):
should sway away from doing the right thing, because usually
doing the right thing will lead to cascading benefits for
everyone around you, including your children.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Plus, it seems like the better of the two options
because one option just kind of like completely abandons the
daughter Anna so to speak, where it's like, okay, she
has to stay in this place that she hates, versus like, okay,
well still, hey, Anna grew up with split cussy her
whole sixteen years, so this sounds great and it sounds great.
So it's like, all right, the baby will kind of
do the same. And op He's like, I'm want to
(16:06):
put everything in place, all split custody. I'll make sure
they have a good place to stay. He's making sure
that the baby has like the best possible life. So
to me, seems like the best option.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, I agree that it is the best option, but
I do think the commenter, although in a bish way, yeah,
points out like this is difficult. This is not an
easy decision by by any means, because it comes with
a lot of baggage or emotional baggage, even though intellectually
we might be able to pontificate right here and say like,
oh uh, this is exactly what I hope you should do,
(16:34):
but I'll pontiff your case. Yeah, dude, I love when
you do that. I love what you do when you
when you just uh, when I'm double cheeked up on
a Sunday after a thick milk costume, like please squeeze
those move.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
That onesie out of the way, get it out of
here to the utter.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Oh so so Opie responds, Yes, I've been thinking about
that too. Co Parenting with an his mother has always
been really easy because we've always been good friends and
there was never a fight. But I don't want to
think that if I divorce my wife where we break
up because of this, I'll have a harder time seeing
my son or how the co parenting would be with her.
So yeah, I guess Op's saying like, yeah, it could
(17:11):
be harder. But I don't want to think about it.
Let it like co parenting with the mother of my
son and my current wife.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
You know, yeah, good to think about it, good to think. Yeah,
literally where you're headed?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, let me just here we go.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
This is gonna be successful. Guys. The whole scoring out
so well.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Dude, man, man is throwing away the cave. These commenters
are giving this man a can It is like, shut up, dude, guys, don't.
I don't want more information. I want to blindly walk
through life.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Oh this is fantastic. Stop it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, dude, you're gonna walk yourself off a cliff.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Don't do it, daddy, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Judge Fivadela Burquis says that those cowjokes are utterly ridiculous
yet very amuzing.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
All right, double pun nice, all right, I'll give it
to you for a double pun. I'll give it you.
There we go.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Okay. But and commenter responds, unless they're is something you
aren't disclosing about, Anna, your wife is of questionable character.
I think that's very obvious. For not allowing your daughter
to live with the family. She is part of the family.
Whether your wife wants her to be or not in
Opie responds, I swear there's nothing I hide about my daughter.
She's a good girl and has never had problems with anyone.
(18:19):
Even at the wedding. Anna and my wife got along.
She was a child raised well by me as well
as her mother and stepfather. And there is a down voted.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Colin, Wow, this is gonna be really bad.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Down voted College. And just to be clear, the guy
that was like you're between a rock and a hard
place that some of chat said was I think they
beautifully worded it, something like a massive oh yeah, beautiful
was not down voted. So this this, uh yeah, this
is this is gonna be it's gonna be juice. There's
gonna be juice to squeeze. So you've already chosen your
(18:50):
daughter as more important than your wife and son. Your
marriage is over and I'm gonna I'm gonna repeat that again.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, please, please please, You've.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Already chosen your as more important than your wife and son.
So basically this commenter is saying, ope, you are disregarding
your son's well being.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Brod clearly didn't read the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
When he's like, I'm gonna get the best like have
him a good living situation, fifty to fifty custidy, like
he's already thought through this, dude, this is.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
This is ignorant.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, this is some ig ish, bro ignorantish. Kimberly find says,
what's the life the commentor, and freud Lane Fleeeder Mouse says, bruh.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
That's honestly Kimberly Fine, Yeah, what was that the wife?
Yeah she found the right account.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
I mean at tracts, things like this have happened. You know,
stranger things.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Could be a crazy update.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
We're about to see stranger things. But we do have
Op responding and says, you've commented on this twice and
not only reflecting your own trauma, you were also taking
things for granted that you have no idea about. You
literally jump on a conclusion that I don't love my
son just because I spoke well of my daughter, and
we got an updated twelve days later. But you know,
I was to give one piece of advice to Op is,
(20:03):
don't comprize I think when you whenever you compromise your
moral integrity for a short term outcome, whether it be
the benefit of one of your children or you know,
money or status or whatever. It might be like even
things like like friendship, things that you you think might
be like a purely good thing, usually it has lagging
negative effects. So it's like might be good in the
(20:24):
beginning and then terrible later. And I think this is
an example of like if you prioritize your son and
looked over your wife's moral amb beauty to say it lightly,
you you would probably have lagging indicators or lagging negative
effects like years or decades later. And so you don't
want to stay with someone who like has no scruples.
(20:45):
You want the scruples to be high.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
You want, dude, do you want the max scroup all
the way up there?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Do you want scruple? You want like at least one hundred.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Scruples, Like when you when your hands are just like
on the scruples you like.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, when you have when you have scruple, and then
maybe like you know, your your milk and each grouple. Yeah,
and then like you're filling your cup with like some
some scrupulous liquid, you drink it, you're full of scruples.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
And then it's good.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Then it's good. That is good. That that's that's some
that's right there. Good marriage juice jelly, but says, honestly,
life has lagging aggravating effects. Can argue, but usually if
you live yourself, live life in a more way, less
lagging negative effects.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Great.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I don't know why I'm talking like a science boy
today or yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Like it's her inner.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Dialog. Yeah, yeah, beautiful way I had. I had my
June toe not too long ago.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
There go is Uh, we're not gonna I don't know
what that is.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I can tell you about that. I do like like
monthly philosophical chatsh okay, yes, yes, philosophy friends, it's all
coming back. Yeah, we actually have a great discussion about like.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
A great discussion about this. Next freaking update, WHOA, let's go.
D Red says, you need big scruple energy. Big scruple
edit could be put on a shirt. Love it a
big scruple energy.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
So update one twelve days later, originally posted on the
Ida Hole subbur so. I'm sorry, but I decided to
delete the post because a weirdo started to just spam
my private messages with different accounts, and I don't know
if I can put the account on private or something
like that. I don't use a site too much, but
a bot started sending me messages asking if I needed help.
So I think my account could get banned because of
(22:26):
that person doing this. I'm too old for this anyway,
Let's get into it. So, first of all, I want
to clarify that I am from a third world country.
Here it is really expensive to get a plane ticket,
and if I travel, I must do it with my
wife and our son too, So it was too much
money that we can not pay. So basically, there's too
much money to travel out of his third world country.
(22:47):
I think they're called developing nations these days, but you know,
I'll use the old use the old old term. There
we go, third world. I let my daughter's mother take
her to another country because, like every father, I wanted
her to have a better life and better opportunities. I
don't think that makes me a bad father, but I
guess the minds that have always lived in privilege don't understand.
The last time I could afford some tickets was for
(23:08):
my daughter to come to the wedding. Not all of
us have the privilege of paying for a plane flight.
I've been thinking a lot, and in fact i'm the
a hole because of the way I treated my wife.
Do tell whoa. I did not see that coming. I
did not see that coming. I was feeling we were going,
you know, we were focusing on the scruples. Yep, we're
(23:28):
focused on the scruples. I feel like grip. I feel
like the scruples have been thrown out the window with
that then.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Slipped through my fingers. But hey, let's hear them out.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
That's true, that's true, that's true. Okay, maybe we can
dig the sand, pick up those scruples, read it out.
You know, even if most of the commenters agreed with me,
I don't think it was ever right to say that
to the woman I love, even though I was angry.
That's fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, all right, all right.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Bad wording.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Bad wording because he originally said for everyone who's just joining, oh,
if you don't like this, go to a freaking hotel room.
Wrong way to say it. Maybe he's just like, hey,
this is where my scruples slip through my fingers, but
I still got most of them, Like, most of my
scruples are.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
There lying in the scruple sand. Yeah, that's that's all
I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, there's a few droplets in the scruple sand, but
most of it's in my hand. Most of it's there
in my scruple hand, yep. But your scruple, your scruples
fell into the scruple sand, and there's none in your
hand now. So I think we're about to talk to
her scruples. There we go in a little bit. So
I apologize to her for what I said and the
way I said it. But I told her that I
don't like it when she ignores me and gives me
the cold shoulder when I tried to talk about our issues,
(24:33):
and the fact that she denied the familiarity between our
son and daughter was just cruel, all right, speaking of truth,
love it. Ope, it's true. She apologized for it and
said she was angry and said things she regretted. I
made it clear to her that Anna is common because
no one can forbid any of my children to live
with me, not totally morally but legally. I am totally
(24:54):
obligated to give my daughter and son a house. Go off.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
That's that's dude. All if all I heard was great things.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I you know what I heard. I heard, the the
pouring and just absolute mound building of scruples, just so
many scring into his hand, his hand is overflowing with scruples.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
It's it's clear as day.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
It's clear as day. It's it's uh, it's scruples as
high as the pyramid of Giza.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Yeah, this scruples legendary, legendary. So he says, how many
times can Sam say scruples? That's what I'm in the
three minutes. I want a scruple counter in the discord
right now, run it up if you haven't joined the
discord at discord dot gg slash. Okay, storytime just hit
four k members. Oh, let's go LFG. Let's go boom booms.
She tried to argue, but I asked her how she
(25:44):
would feel if we divorced and my new girlfriend refuses
to let our son live with me just because she
did not sign up for it. Doing a little twisty
twisty rue, I asked her if she would appreciate a
man who abandons his children for a woman more than
a man who cares about his children. Yeah, that feels good.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Let's see it what you got to say?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yeah, dude, maybe he has so many scruples that he's
like spitting it into her hand. Dude, just's just speaking scruples.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
We need we need more scruples.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
We need more scruplers, need more scruples in this in
this world. Yeah, and a world full of little scruples.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
We need big ones.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
We need big ones. We need big ones, big hawking scruples,
Sam twenty twenty scruples Dragon behind them. You know you're
walking in the sand and you just got two large scruples,
Prince making, Yeah, Prince yeah, exactly. It's like it's like,
oh my god, Like I can't believe there's this snake
that's been slithering behind this very cow what what's it called?
(26:38):
Bow legged man? No, No, that's just two scruples, just
scring between his legs. Also, Peyton says, omg, hi, John,
I've fissed your face too much. Thanks for the two bucks.
Appreciate Peyton, We appreciate you. So if she would feel
confident knowing that she is married to a man who
abandons his children, that easy. My wife said, no, that
obviously she knows how much I can about our children
(27:00):
and hates the kind of man who abandons their kids,
and that she knew she wanted to have a child
with me because she saw how even though my daughter
was so far away. I made video calls to her
every day, and we always help each other with things
around the house. So then I ask her why she
rejects the idea of my daughter being here, and she
admitted being jealous of Anna's truthful. Hey, hey, we're all
(27:24):
right as we are. We are we have we have
been swimming away from lives in the seat. We're in
a pool of scruples right now.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
We we were faced with a bald face line. Now
we're faced with the bald face truth.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Bald bald face truth.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I will take that. We can now we can talk,
bald truth. Now we can Now we can talk.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah, this is this is called dialogue from you know,
I think she's learning that she is uh, she's learning
she abandons her scruples.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Dude, it's it's it's tragic.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
You know what what. I don't call it a comeback
story because I think she's she's going to actually maybe
do call it a comebackstory. I think I think the
scruples might be SE's back coming her grabbing those. And
I asked her, it's something that I have noticed in
the past. For example, for one of my daughter's birthdays,
I sent money to her mother to buy her address
that was quite expensive, and my wife just said, I
guess you will buy our son something just expensive. It
(28:14):
was a mistake to let those comments pass, and I
think they were just a weird joke. She said she
doesn't want my daughter to come and take time away
from our son. That bothered me, and I told her
that if we had two children, my time would also
be divided, and that as a father I can give
the same attention to both. And often, you know, it's
not good to shower a child with that much attention,
(28:35):
like they don't need they don't need your attention twenty
four to seven.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
They especially a baby. What's a baby going to do
with the exactly dress?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Exactly? Fun? Yeah, exactly. Babies don't need attention or space.
As we've talked about on the show the baby cages
of the nineteen thirties, you know, just put a baby
in a cage outside a windows place space you haven't
heard about. I heard you giving a john I hate babies.
I love the.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Baby is ugly. I never said I didn't like them.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Addie, if you have this ability, can you pull up
the baby cages? You haven't seen this right?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
No?
Speaker 1 (29:06):
No, okay, can you pull the nineteen thirties baby cages
of New York while I'm continue reading this story. I
appreciate you. So changing your routine doesn't have to be
a negative thing. And she knows that Anna is not
a problem teenager, which I think some people in the
chat were like, Oh, like is Anna you know, you know,
a problem teenager? A bad kid? You know, like a
like addicted to a jeweling or you know whatever the
kids are doing these days, because she's gonna be a
(29:27):
fifteen I know, you what, what are the kids? What
are the kids using? These women boofing flument? Are they
they're boof They're boofing their nicotine right now?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Could be?
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Are they boffing? No way there? I don't know, dude.
I mean, I guess it is more or less conspicuous
right to boof nicotine than to Yeah. I feel like, yeah,
that's what the kids do, Eddie. What do we got?
We got some cage children? There we go, That's what
I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Yeah, that seems like terrible parentings.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I don't know, fresh air for children afraid.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Of I just let them. Oh so you're in cage
on the outside, Yeah, Eddie, exposed to the elements.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Do you pull that up?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Just pull the children?
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Give me a little switch to the cage. Children, please
please Eddie, please love God. Can I on the way.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
But yeah, you're just exposed the elements.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
You're just like, yeah, I feel like that's like, you know,
solid air, solid air, live life, be there walking around.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Somehow, you know I'm gonna get there, yeah and be yep,
there we go. Those are free babies. But there's some
free looking babies.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Outside the window. Is crazy? What thing falls?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I mean, babies are like cats, right, they land on
their feet.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
If you say so.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Anyway, don't put your children in gages. And that's a
p s A F. Sam there is, says l M
A O. Why this is the second stream Sam's asked
for the baby cage to be looked at. I just
think it's like I love them, I love them. I
just feel like it was a it was a interesting period.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I may think babies are ugly, but this man wants
some cage.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Do without what I want? Free to look over, free
to feel the air. Kimberly fine, says raw Dog in
the atmosphere. That's that's what we love. That's exactly what Yeah, yeah,
so free range baby says, falling in flattermouse. So anyway,
we talked a lot and I explained to her that
(31:22):
I just want to make everything work for both of us.
I apologize if I made her feel bad with the
way I treated her, and I told her that I
want to really hear what things are bothering her so
we can understand each other better. We agreed to have
better dialogue and communication about this kind of thing. My
wife admitted that her jealousy is wrong. Let's go, and
feels embarrassed about it, but it's how she feels, and
she feels awful for feeling that good feel bad, I
(31:45):
mean kind of true, got to grow up? Yeah. I
told her that feeling isn't right. Being jealous of my
daughter isn't right. And I told her that it would
be okay to start going to a psychologist if we
want to fix this, because I'm not going to leave
my daughter to live in a place where he does
it feel loved. My wife accepted after talking about it
a lot these days, and she wants to work on
herself about that because she doesn't want to feel like
(32:08):
that about a little girl and knows it's wrong. Okay,
that's good. That is I mean, this is this is progress.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
I think the fact that she's you know, everyone's everyone,
I mean, this is.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Everyone happened to insanely egregious.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
But like, you know, the fact that they're now being
open and talking about it is very good.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Now they can actually have like all dialog about it.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yeah, yeah, you know, just like everyone has those days.
Everyone makes mistakes, everybody does what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2 (32:30):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (32:32):
This next is part of the story, So do it.
My wife and daughter always had a nice treatment. When
I make video calls with Anna, my wife usually takes
a little time, but not that much. I think my
mistake was not offering my wife to make video calls
alone with Anna like Anna does with my tother sometimes,
to like create that one on one relationship. My daughter
really likes my wife and calls her auntie, even if
they don't know each other too well, so I don't
(32:53):
want her to know how my wife really feels about her.
I offered my wife to teach her how to play
the same video game I play with my daughter, so
they can play together and get to know each other
more through that. And I know Anna would love that
that's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Yeah,
My wife wants to evict my daughter. I want to
kick her out instead, get her out of here. My
daughter Anna is sixteen years old. She was an accident
when I was twenty four, and his mother and I
were never together as a couple cause it was a
one night stand, but we have maintained a friendly and
healthy co parenting relationship since she was born and we
became good friends. By the way, This comes from Tyler
(00:21):
sixteen twenty on the best of Positive Updates subberdy ooh
positive positive update. My daughter has been living on another
continent for a few years with her mother and stepfather,
but she wants to come back because she doesn't feel
comfortable there and misses her family and friends. Anna doesn't
know their language well and it's still hard for her
to learn it fully, so she feels really lonely since
(00:42):
it is different to speak your native language than make
friends by speaking a foreign language.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
From zero, absolute fact, already hard enough.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
You're already getting you know, bullied, eating your lunch in
the yeah it'ud bathroom.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah. Imagine not being able to say anything back when
they're like, oh, like is your refrigerator running? And like
I don't know whatever foreign language. You're just like, well,
actually that would have that would have worked well if
it was that's true. Is Germany a little less yes,
although you know what helps this Actually this is totally
not a prescription. Drinking alcohol help speak any language very well.
(01:13):
But this person's sixteen, so I can't really recognize, can't
rec Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a couple of years maybe.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I spoke with my daughter's mother and we thought it
was a good idea to let Anna live with me.
Her room is now my home office, but I can
easily put together a room for her. Again, we didn't
confirm anything, talk to my wife about it first, and
I was sure that she was going to be okay
with that because we literally talked about that possibility before
on the agenda. It there, it was in front of
their faces. On problem. Doesn't want that to happen, change mind.
(01:43):
My wife and Anna daughter have never been close because
they only meet in person for our wedding when I
was able to pay a ticket for my daughter to come.
That was the last time I saw my daughter in
person too, plane tickets are too expensive. But they do
tend to talk a little when I make calls with
Anna every day, but not too much. Anna is the daughter.
She's sixteen. Yes again, Anna is the sixteen year old
(02:04):
daughter that is the product of a one night stand.
She's living in another country, but wants to come back
and live with Ope, which might be a little bit
easier for her because she speaks Opea's language a little
more easily.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Don't need to eat lunch of the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Don't need to eat lunch in the bathroom. Did you
ever eat lunch in the bathroom? No, that's good, that's good.
I'm glad. Yeah, did you Why do you say it
like that?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Because you were like I feel like if you hadn't,
you would have been like, oh, yeah, me too. You
know we were able to make it out without that.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I know. I don't think so I didn't. I think
I ate lunch with the weirdest kids for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Let's put way better than the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
It's way better than the bath friends. Yeah, I had friends.
I had the weirdest friends.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I think they were cool. Yeah, it was great. So.
Anna also talks to her brother and he likes her
a lot, even if they see each other on video call.
My wife says, Anna is not going to feel comfortable
in a house with strangers, and Ope's kind of just
saying like, wait, this isn't a house with strangers. She's
seen them, at least on FaceTime.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
She's like, but she's a stranger to me. Sorry, bro.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
And I told her that we are literally her family,
and she said no, she and our toddler are not
Anna's family. So Opie's significant other than toddler because they
barely know her in person. It honestly hurts me that
she thinks that way, but I understand her point of view.
Although our taller is Anna's brother, and it really annoyed
me that she said that because our little one really
loves his sister, even if they just see each other online.
(03:21):
So I feel like the biological mother is kind of
It's like she's okay with this co parenting from a
far relationship, but as soon as her daughter is thinking
about getting close to Ope, she's like, no, no, no,
can't have that.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
App she was pulling a bluff.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah, She's like, oh, I'll tell him, Oh, I'm so
about it to you know, get in the door, we'll
have the kid and everything. And now she's like, oh,
well now that I'm here, now I can Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Exactly well, she she has all the power. She literally
was able to bring her daughter to another country and
raise her. I think, probably, like you said, under the
pretense that they would both have equal say in her life.
But yeah, I think she's she's kind of knows that
she has power. She's like like a like a dictator
that gets power and says like I'm going to give
it back to the people. But then he feels the power.
(04:04):
It's like like I like being a king.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Yeah, and again this is a conspiracy theory, but I
do at this point think that she had this kind
of plan all along, that she never really was okay
with it.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
She just said it when it wasn't an imminent.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Threat, exactly exactly. Yeah, she's she's pulling some some Emperor
Palpatine games. Dude, don't like it, don't like it, don't
like it. Don't like it one bit. Yeah. I just
rewatched those those helps, those cinema masterpieces.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I have seen. So there you go.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
So I had an argument with my wife about it,
and I ended up telling her that my daughter will
always come first, because it's true for me, my children
will always come before any other person. And she knew
very well about my daughter when we married. This is
talking about opiecing ef another his wife. My wife got
angry and said that bringing Anna home would change how
(04:56):
we handle ourselves and that she doesn't want to be
a stepmother. She said that Anna I lived with her
mother and other continent and it's not the same as
having her right here every day. I told her that
no one is asking her to be a stepmother because
I will be the one who will take care of
her always. My daughter used to stay many days and
even months with me, and I was the one that
took care of her. I'm not going to give my
wife all the work because I was a single father
(05:16):
for a long time and I know how to take
care of my daughter. I work, I clean, I cook.
I take full care of her son when she works
and wants to go out and do something, just like
she does with me. We both support each other in
raising our son. I don't know why many people are
so shocked by the fact that I take responsibility over
my own child.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Unbelievable be a dead beat.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
But if she doesn't respect my daughter's presence in the
house and it hates it that much, then she has
all the freedom to go to a hotel.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Room, get out of here, go check in.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
I was a big because those orbs obviously ended up
with us having a worse argument. So I guess Opie
said that directly, which is not the most uh not
the best.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
One of these, Like hey, look, I just want you
to have a five star spat experience, you know what
I mean? Yeah, you're stress about my daughter moving in.
Don't take a load off.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Also, so Shanna loss And says, I think birth mom
is okay with it, and it's actually step mom. Yeah,
the stepmom, it's not gonna be okay with it.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yeah, she's the one that it seemed like pulled a
little bait and switch where she was like, hey, it
was fine at first, but now she's like no, I don't.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Want ah yeah okay, So yeah, the problem is my
wife doesn't want that to happen. Step I was thinking
that it was oh PE's biological right, the daughter's biological
mom right, So TLDR for myself and everyone here. So
op has a daughter, Anna who lives another continent. The
biological mom is like, hey, I think she wants to
(06:33):
come over to where you are because she's lonely, can't
really speak the language as well, the daughter wants to
come too, and Op's wife is like, nah, we have
her own setup here, and it's kind of like, I
don't want your daughter here, okay. So I think we're
at one hundred percent boom, thank y'all. So my daughter
has every right to live in my house if she
wants to, but my wife doesn't want that. I really
(06:53):
love my wife, but my biggest focus is to give
the best to my children, and I would love to
have my princess here after years apart. I mean, who
wouldn't want to be with their daughter after years apart.
My wife has not been talking to me at all,
and she's very angry, but she does continue with the
same stance that she doesn't want Anna here at all,
and I know I will get angry and we'll end
(07:13):
up arguing again because I'm not going to leave my
daughter alone either. There's an edit before we get into
these big updates. So edit, my wife always knew that
Anna lived with me several days a week when she
was still in the country, because I talked with her
about that and the possibility of Anna's family returning to
the country if things went wrong. That would have meant
that Anna would come back and live with me for
(07:33):
many days or even months, like she always did. My
daughter used to come at my house every day too.
My wife agreed that years ago when we talked about that,
but now admits that she thought my daughter was going
to stay out of the country with her mother because
their business is going really well. Boom called it, called it.
Called it also throw away because my daughter uses read
it too. I changed some data as to not make
(07:54):
it too obvious. There is it edit too. Before we
get into the updates. So guys, I've been reading the
comments non stop for two hours and I have too
much they think about. Thank you for so much for
the advice, whether bad or good. This is helping me
to reflect on several things that I did not take
into account. But please don't be harsh, because I'm a
real person. There are relevant comment there is an update.
There is there is an update. But what it sounds
(08:15):
like is it sounds like your wife hates your daughter,
or at least doesn't want She believed that she would
be living this uncomplicated life where it's just our family
and we don't have to think about anyone outside of it.
And now that you've thrown in the daughter element she's
up in a up in a huff. I don't think
that's fair to Ope. I don't think that's fair to Anna.
And you know, if you sign up to this relationship
(08:36):
like you knew, you knew what could happen. So I
don't think I think like I see divorce in the future.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
It's also doubly crazy because they already have a toddler,
so it's like it would almost make more logical sense
if they had like no kids, and she's like, oh, actually,
I want to stay child free. And I get that
a teenager is different than like a two year old,
but if.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
She said that at the beginning of the relationship, they
probably wouldn't have gotten in to a relationship. But she
never said like, you know, I want to say child free,
or like I only want to have children in my
life that are hours. Yeah, like she did say that something.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Yeah, I think it is the worst case scenario here
would be not that she dislikes children. She already has
one with with Op, but I think that she specifically
either like dislikes Anna as a person or dislikes the
fact that she's like the daughter he had with like
another woman, or something along those lines, you know what
I'm saying, which like all of those are bad, and
I think it is one of those because she admitted
(09:32):
that she was like, oh, I just kind of assumed
that she would end up staying there. I gain like,
I think she intentionally reeled them in to be able to,
you know, and just hope that she wouldn't have.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
To face this.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, I think it potentially was a real end. But
we're even looking at it through the most angel like lens.
What it could be is she was fine with it,
but then she has this perfect little life that's like
really great mm hmm, and then all of a sudden,
this new factor comes in that she was not expecting,
and she's like, how is this going to change our
relationship dynamic? Is is our son going to be prioritized
(10:02):
if this new persons in the house. There's all these
fears that's swirling up with now in a completely new
familial dynamic. My I still think she's the a hole,
to be clear, So yeah, cal and I want to
agree with you there. I still think she's the a hole.
But I think there is a chance that this is
just like a gut reaction of someone who is scared
by how things might change, and if talked about long
(10:24):
enough and if just introduced to like hey, like you're
gonna have to deal with it, and just introduced it,
I think she might adapt. But you also don't want
your sixteen year old daughter to have to endure what
a stepmother adaptation looks like. Yeah, so yeah, it's you
want to prioritize your kid. Yes, so whatever is going
to be best for your kid. I guess we'll we'll
see what OP does. But what would you recommend? Ope,
(10:45):
you would do.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I think that he basically makes don't phrase it as
an ultimatum, but it kind of is where it's like, hey,
we had this like understanding going into our marriage and
life together that like you know, my kids are you know,
number on priorities, just like our son is to me
like our son Riley, our son, Riley, our little boy.
So if you can't get like a thousand percent on
(11:07):
board with that, then I don't think this is gonna work.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
You have to make it crystal clear.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, but you know, do you think
she's just gonna stay because of But she might stay
for the relationship, but like maybe there's a negative effect
on Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
She'll be I think she'll do the same thing. She'd
be like, oh, yeah, let's do it, like that sounds great.
And then she's like, hey, listen up, your little freaking punk.
You see, I'm the big I'm the big mom around here.
And you you you lock yourself in your in your
little cupboard, you know, under the stairs. Yeah, and and
you just be friends with the spiders.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, the spiders. You know. I'll give you a little
pan in a broom. You can. You can sweep the chimneys,
you can.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
It's gonna be so fun.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, it's could be so fun. Yeah, I've always wanted
a butler.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Shut up. I hate you, hate you, mama, get out
of here. That's what I think.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
But we got some relevant comments. Oh and we got
an update my my fun, little my little children, my
little pity. Oh those were pretty ease. Let's get into
these relevant comments. So the discussion with his wife, we
had it because she knows that my daughter used to
stay in my home before she left. So this is
relevant comments that Ope is responding to. By the way,
(12:14):
So so Opie says, we had a discussion because she
knows that my daughter used to stay in my home
before she left the country. My wife says that in
her mind, my daughter was always going to live with
her mother. To another comment term, she didn't say that
when we got married, she said it now. When I
told her about that possibility years ago, she said she
thought she was okay with it. Now she admits that
she thought Anna would stay there. And then another commenter says,
(12:35):
if she doesn't change her mind, do you see the
marriage lasting? And I mean, I feel like no, but
Opie says, to be honest, not at all. Even if
I left my wife, my daughter no longer feels welcome
in her school or comfortable. I don't want her to
feel that way here too, in my own home. And
a commenter says, what are you going to do about
the child that you guys share, Ope responds, my son
(12:57):
would never be homeless being.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Two years old. That's time to go.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
So you've had you've had seven hundred and thirty days.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Millions of seconds. Yeah, how do you figure out millions?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Come on, come on, get get a grip, kid, get
a grip. You know in my back in my day
or up back in John's day. Uh, they were going
to the coal mines by two.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
That was me that was.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
That was John, dude. He went straight from the coal
mines the silicon valley.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
You basically we're doing childly silicon and then you brought
the chips to the to the people of the bed.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
And that's how we and that's how we got here.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, that's how Qualcomb started.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Built it one hundred years ago.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Shout out John, where's John is? Three hundred in the chat.
That's uh, that's our that's our, our naddy right there,
let's go. So he says, my son would never be homeless.
Being okay with my wife would be an ideal plan.
But if she continues to reject my daughter's presence, we
break up. I'm going to make sure I pay her
and her son a good place to stay and go
fifty to fifty custody like I had with Anna, or
(13:58):
make some kind of co habitation agreement. Whenever I hear
the word cohabitation, I always think of like martians and aliens.
It feels very sciencey and it's rocking shippy. But I'm
going to do the same thing with my son that
I did with my daughter, which was go see her
every day and take care of her. I wouldn't fight
with my wife or stress our son out with the
grown up stuff. And commenter says, not picking sides here,
(14:19):
but if your wife leaves, so does your son. Everyone
is screaming put your child first. You may have your
daughter full time and your son fifty to fifty. Doubt
they would take a tather away from a woman you
say is a wonderful mother. I think the rock and
the hard place is a lot harder than you think.
So I think what this commentary is saying is by
prioritizing your daughter, you are deprioritizing your son.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Get one kid, lose the other.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yeah, right, Well, basically because it's like your wife is like, okay,
I'm only going to be okay with this familial dynamic
if you reject one of yours your children, and if
he rejects one of his children, there is a better
chance that his other child, his boy a better life
with like maybe a more complete holistic familial dynamic or whatever,
(15:05):
or at least like more Yeah. The Dutchess Cassanda says,
this commenter kind of sucks. Yes, it sucks, But there's
an element to that.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
That is that is a moral dilemma here.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
There is an element to that where it's like you
are there is like you're kind of picking between two things.
I think the thing that makes it easier, and the
commenter does not point this out, is like, what is
the actual right thing to do? What is in line
with your morals and like your morality, and it would
be to take care of your daughter, right, because just
because someone else's actions impact your child doesn't mean you
(15:36):
should sway away from doing the right thing, because usually
doing the right thing will lead to cascading benefits for
everyone around you, including your children.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Plus, it seems like the better of the two options
because one option just kind of like completely abandons the
daughter Anna so to speak, where it's like, okay, she
has to stay in this place that she hates, versus like, okay,
well still, hey, Anna grew up with split cussy her
whole sixteen years, so this sounds great and it sounds great.
So it's like, all right, the baby will kind of
do the same. And op He's like, I'm want to
(16:06):
put everything in place, all split custody. I'll make sure
they have a good place to stay. He's making sure
that the baby has like the best possible life. So
to me, seems like the best option.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, I agree that it is the best option, but
I do think the commenter, although in a bish way, yeah,
points out like this is difficult. This is not an
easy decision by by any means, because it comes with
a lot of baggage or emotional baggage, even though intellectually
we might be able to pontificate right here and say like,
oh uh, this is exactly what I hope you should do,
(16:34):
but I'll pontiff your case. Yeah, dude, I love when
you do that. I love what you do when you
when you just uh, when I'm double cheeked up on
a Sunday after a thick milk costume, like please squeeze
those move.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
That onesie out of the way, get it out of
here to the utter.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Oh so so Opie responds, Yes, I've been thinking about
that too. Co Parenting with an his mother has always
been really easy because we've always been good friends and
there was never a fight. But I don't want to
think that if I divorce my wife where we break
up because of this, I'll have a harder time seeing
my son or how the co parenting would be with her.
So yeah, I guess Op's saying like, yeah, it could
(17:11):
be harder. But I don't want to think about it.
Let it like co parenting with the mother of my
son and my current wife.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
You know, yeah, good to think about it, good to think. Yeah,
literally where you're headed?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, let me just here we go.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
This is gonna be successful. Guys. The whole scoring out
so well.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Dude, man, man is throwing away the cave. These commenters
are giving this man a can It is like, shut up, dude, guys, don't.
I don't want more information. I want to blindly walk
through life.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Oh this is fantastic. Stop it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, dude, you're gonna walk yourself off a cliff.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Don't do it, daddy, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Judge Fivadela Burquis says that those cowjokes are utterly ridiculous
yet very amuzing.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
All right, double pun nice, all right, I'll give it
to you for a double pun. I'll give it you.
There we go.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Okay. But and commenter responds, unless they're is something you
aren't disclosing about, Anna, your wife is of questionable character.
I think that's very obvious. For not allowing your daughter
to live with the family. She is part of the family.
Whether your wife wants her to be or not in
Opie responds, I swear there's nothing I hide about my daughter.
She's a good girl and has never had problems with anyone.
(18:19):
Even at the wedding. Anna and my wife got along.
She was a child raised well by me as well
as her mother and stepfather. And there is a down voted.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Colin, Wow, this is gonna be really bad.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Down voted College. And just to be clear, the guy
that was like you're between a rock and a hard
place that some of chat said was I think they
beautifully worded it, something like a massive oh yeah, beautiful
was not down voted. So this this, uh yeah, this
is this is gonna be it's gonna be juice. There's
gonna be juice to squeeze. So you've already chosen your
(18:50):
daughter as more important than your wife and son. Your
marriage is over and I'm gonna I'm gonna repeat that again.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, please, please please, You've.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Already chosen your as more important than your wife and son.
So basically this commenter is saying, ope, you are disregarding
your son's well being.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Brod clearly didn't read the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
When he's like, I'm gonna get the best like have
him a good living situation, fifty to fifty custidy, like
he's already thought through this, dude, this is.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
This is ignorant.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, this is some ig ish, bro ignorantish. Kimberly find says,
what's the life the commentor, and freud Lane Fleeeder Mouse says, bruh.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
That's honestly Kimberly Fine, Yeah, what was that the wife?
Yeah she found the right account.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
I mean at tracts, things like this have happened. You know,
stranger things.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Could be a crazy update.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
We're about to see stranger things. But we do have
Op responding and says, you've commented on this twice and
not only reflecting your own trauma, you were also taking
things for granted that you have no idea about. You
literally jump on a conclusion that I don't love my
son just because I spoke well of my daughter, and
we got an updated twelve days later. But you know,
I was to give one piece of advice to Op is,
(20:03):
don't comprize I think when you whenever you compromise your
moral integrity for a short term outcome, whether it be
the benefit of one of your children or you know,
money or status or whatever. It might be like even
things like like friendship, things that you you think might
be like a purely good thing, usually it has lagging
negative effects. So it's like might be good in the
(20:24):
beginning and then terrible later. And I think this is
an example of like if you prioritize your son and
looked over your wife's moral amb beauty to say it lightly,
you you would probably have lagging indicators or lagging negative
effects like years or decades later. And so you don't
want to stay with someone who like has no scruples.
(20:45):
You want the scruples to be high.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
You want, dude, do you want the max scroup all
the way up there?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Do you want scruple? You want like at least one hundred.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Scruples, Like when you when your hands are just like
on the scruples you like.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, when you have when you have scruple, and then
maybe like you know, your your milk and each grouple. Yeah,
and then like you're filling your cup with like some
some scrupulous liquid, you drink it, you're full of scruples.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
And then it's good.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Then it's good. That is good. That that's that's some
that's right there. Good marriage juice jelly, but says, honestly,
life has lagging aggravating effects. Can argue, but usually if
you live yourself, live life in a more way, less
lagging negative effects.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Great.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I don't know why I'm talking like a science boy
today or yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Like it's her inner.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Dialog. Yeah, yeah, beautiful way I had. I had my
June toe not too long ago.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
There go is Uh, we're not gonna I don't know
what that is.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I can tell you about that. I do like like
monthly philosophical chatsh okay, yes, yes, philosophy friends, it's all
coming back. Yeah, we actually have a great discussion about like.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
A great discussion about this. Next freaking update, WHOA, let's go.
D Red says, you need big scruple energy. Big scruple
edit could be put on a shirt. Love it a
big scruple energy.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
So update one twelve days later, originally posted on the
Ida Hole subbur so. I'm sorry, but I decided to
delete the post because a weirdo started to just spam
my private messages with different accounts, and I don't know
if I can put the account on private or something
like that. I don't use a site too much, but
a bot started sending me messages asking if I needed help.
So I think my account could get banned because of
(22:26):
that person doing this. I'm too old for this anyway,
Let's get into it. So, first of all, I want
to clarify that I am from a third world country.
Here it is really expensive to get a plane ticket,
and if I travel, I must do it with my
wife and our son too, So it was too much
money that we can not pay. So basically, there's too
much money to travel out of his third world country.
(22:47):
I think they're called developing nations these days, but you know,
I'll use the old use the old old term. There
we go, third world. I let my daughter's mother take
her to another country because, like every father, I wanted
her to have a better life and better opportunities. I
don't think that makes me a bad father, but I
guess the minds that have always lived in privilege don't understand.
The last time I could afford some tickets was for
(23:08):
my daughter to come to the wedding. Not all of
us have the privilege of paying for a plane flight.
I've been thinking a lot, and in fact i'm the
a hole because of the way I treated my wife.
Do tell whoa. I did not see that coming. I
did not see that coming. I was feeling we were going,
you know, we were focusing on the scruples. Yep, we're
(23:28):
focused on the scruples. I feel like grip. I feel
like the scruples have been thrown out the window with
that then.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Slipped through my fingers. But hey, let's hear them out.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
That's true, that's true, that's true. Okay, maybe we can
dig the sand, pick up those scruples, read it out.
You know, even if most of the commenters agreed with me,
I don't think it was ever right to say that
to the woman I love, even though I was angry.
That's fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, all right, all right.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Bad wording.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Bad wording because he originally said for everyone who's just joining, oh,
if you don't like this, go to a freaking hotel room.
Wrong way to say it. Maybe he's just like, hey,
this is where my scruples slip through my fingers, but
I still got most of them, Like, most of my
scruples are.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
There lying in the scruple sand. Yeah, that's that's all
I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, there's a few droplets in the scruple sand, but
most of it's in my hand. Most of it's there
in my scruple hand, yep. But your scruple, your scruples
fell into the scruple sand, and there's none in your
hand now. So I think we're about to talk to
her scruples. There we go in a little bit. So
I apologize to her for what I said and the
way I said it. But I told her that I
don't like it when she ignores me and gives me
the cold shoulder when I tried to talk about our issues,
(24:33):
and the fact that she denied the familiarity between our
son and daughter was just cruel, all right, speaking of truth,
love it. Ope, it's true. She apologized for it and
said she was angry and said things she regretted. I
made it clear to her that Anna is common because
no one can forbid any of my children to live
with me, not totally morally but legally. I am totally
(24:54):
obligated to give my daughter and son a house. Go off.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
That's that's dude. All if all I heard was great things.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I you know what I heard. I heard, the the
pouring and just absolute mound building of scruples, just so
many scring into his hand, his hand is overflowing with scruples.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
It's it's clear as day.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
It's clear as day. It's it's uh, it's scruples as
high as the pyramid of Giza.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Yeah, this scruples legendary, legendary. So he says, how many
times can Sam say scruples? That's what I'm in the
three minutes. I want a scruple counter in the discord
right now, run it up if you haven't joined the
discord at discord dot gg slash. Okay, storytime just hit
four k members. Oh, let's go LFG. Let's go boom booms.
She tried to argue, but I asked her how she
(25:44):
would feel if we divorced and my new girlfriend refuses
to let our son live with me just because she
did not sign up for it. Doing a little twisty
twisty rue, I asked her if she would appreciate a
man who abandons his children for a woman more than
a man who cares about his children. Yeah, that feels good.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Let's see it what you got to say?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yeah, dude, maybe he has so many scruples that he's
like spitting it into her hand. Dude, just's just speaking scruples.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
We need we need more scruples.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
We need more scruplers, need more scruples in this in
this world. Yeah, and a world full of little scruples.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
We need big ones.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
We need big ones. We need big ones, big hawking scruples,
Sam twenty twenty scruples Dragon behind them. You know you're
walking in the sand and you just got two large scruples,
Prince making, Yeah, Prince yeah, exactly. It's like it's like,
oh my god, Like I can't believe there's this snake
that's been slithering behind this very cow what what's it called?
(26:38):
Bow legged man? No, No, that's just two scruples, just
scring between his legs. Also, Peyton says, omg, hi, John,
I've fissed your face too much. Thanks for the two bucks.
Appreciate Peyton, We appreciate you. So if she would feel
confident knowing that she is married to a man who
abandons his children, that easy. My wife said, no, that
obviously she knows how much I can about our children
(27:00):
and hates the kind of man who abandons their kids,
and that she knew she wanted to have a child
with me because she saw how even though my daughter
was so far away. I made video calls to her
every day, and we always help each other with things
around the house. So then I ask her why she
rejects the idea of my daughter being here, and she
admitted being jealous of Anna's truthful. Hey, hey, we're all
(27:24):
right as we are. We are we have we have
been swimming away from lives in the seat. We're in
a pool of scruples right now.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
We we were faced with a bald face line. Now
we're faced with the bald face truth.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Bald bald face truth.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I will take that. We can now we can talk,
bald truth. Now we can Now we can talk.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah, this is this is called dialogue from you know,
I think she's learning that she is uh, she's learning
she abandons her scruples.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Dude, it's it's it's tragic.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
You know what what. I don't call it a comeback
story because I think she's she's going to actually maybe
do call it a comebackstory. I think I think the
scruples might be SE's back coming her grabbing those. And
I asked her, it's something that I have noticed in
the past. For example, for one of my daughter's birthdays,
I sent money to her mother to buy her address
that was quite expensive, and my wife just said, I
guess you will buy our son something just expensive. It
(28:14):
was a mistake to let those comments pass, and I
think they were just a weird joke. She said she
doesn't want my daughter to come and take time away
from our son. That bothered me, and I told her
that if we had two children, my time would also
be divided, and that as a father I can give
the same attention to both. And often, you know, it's
not good to shower a child with that much attention,
(28:35):
like they don't need they don't need your attention twenty
four to seven.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
They especially a baby. What's a baby going to do
with the exactly dress?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Exactly? Fun? Yeah, exactly. Babies don't need attention or space.
As we've talked about on the show the baby cages
of the nineteen thirties, you know, just put a baby
in a cage outside a windows place space you haven't
heard about. I heard you giving a john I hate babies.
I love the.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Baby is ugly. I never said I didn't like them.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Addie, if you have this ability, can you pull up
the baby cages? You haven't seen this right?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
No?
Speaker 1 (29:06):
No, okay, can you pull the nineteen thirties baby cages
of New York while I'm continue reading this story. I
appreciate you. So changing your routine doesn't have to be
a negative thing. And she knows that Anna is not
a problem teenager, which I think some people in the
chat were like, Oh, like is Anna you know, you know,
a problem teenager? A bad kid? You know, like a
like addicted to a jeweling or you know whatever the
kids are doing these days, because she's gonna be a
(29:27):
fifteen I know, you what, what are the kids? What
are the kids using? These women boofing flument? Are they
they're boof They're boofing their nicotine right now?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Could be?
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Are they boffing? No way there? I don't know, dude.
I mean, I guess it is more or less conspicuous
right to boof nicotine than to Yeah. I feel like, yeah,
that's what the kids do, Eddie. What do we got?
We got some cage children? There we go, That's what
I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Yeah, that seems like terrible parentings.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I don't know, fresh air for children afraid.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Of I just let them. Oh so you're in cage
on the outside, Yeah, Eddie, exposed to the elements.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Do you pull that up?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Just pull the children?
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Give me a little switch to the cage. Children, please
please Eddie, please love God. Can I on the way.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
But yeah, you're just exposed the elements.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
You're just like, yeah, I feel like that's like, you know,
solid air, solid air, live life, be there walking around.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Somehow, you know I'm gonna get there, yeah and be yep,
there we go. Those are free babies. But there's some
free looking babies.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Outside the window. Is crazy? What thing falls?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I mean, babies are like cats, right, they land on
their feet.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
If you say so.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Anyway, don't put your children in gages. And that's a
p s A F. Sam there is, says l M
A O. Why this is the second stream Sam's asked
for the baby cage to be looked at. I just
think it's like I love them, I love them. I
just feel like it was a it was a interesting period.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I may think babies are ugly, but this man wants
some cage.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Do without what I want? Free to look over, free
to feel the air. Kimberly fine, says raw Dog in
the atmosphere. That's that's what we love. That's exactly what Yeah, yeah,
so free range baby says, falling in flattermouse. So anyway,
we talked a lot and I explained to her that
(31:22):
I just want to make everything work for both of us.
I apologize if I made her feel bad with the
way I treated her, and I told her that I
want to really hear what things are bothering her so
we can understand each other better. We agreed to have
better dialogue and communication about this kind of thing. My
wife admitted that her jealousy is wrong. Let's go, and
feels embarrassed about it, but it's how she feels, and
she feels awful for feeling that good feel bad, I
(31:45):
mean kind of true, got to grow up? Yeah. I
told her that feeling isn't right. Being jealous of my
daughter isn't right. And I told her that it would
be okay to start going to a psychologist if we
want to fix this, because I'm not going to leave
my daughter to live in a place where he does
it feel loved. My wife accepted after talking about it
a lot these days, and she wants to work on
herself about that because she doesn't want to feel like
(32:08):
that about a little girl and knows it's wrong. Okay,
that's good. That is I mean, this is this is progress.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
I think the fact that she's you know, everyone's everyone,
I mean, this is.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Everyone happened to insanely egregious.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
But like, you know, the fact that they're now being
open and talking about it is very good.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Now they can actually have like all dialog about it.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yeah, yeah, you know, just like everyone has those days.
Everyone makes mistakes, everybody does what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2 (32:30):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (32:32):
This next is part of the story, So do it.
My wife and daughter always had a nice treatment. When
I make video calls with Anna, my wife usually takes
a little time, but not that much. I think my
mistake was not offering my wife to make video calls
alone with Anna like Anna does with my tother sometimes,
to like create that one on one relationship. My daughter
really likes my wife and calls her auntie, even if
they don't know each other too well, so I don't
(32:53):
want her to know how my wife really feels about her.
I offered my wife to teach her how to play
the same video game I play with my daughter, so
they can play together and get to know each other
more through that. And I know Anna would love that
that's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Yeah,
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