I caught my aunt and my cousin’s boyfriend kissing…so I exposed them in front of everyone! - r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
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Speaker 2 (00:09):
So Sam, it's dump and Week, which means we are
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Is yeah, John, we have stories this week that will
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Speaker 3 (00:37):
Now let's get into today's story.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
I caught my aunt and my cousin's boyfriend kissing, so
I expose them in front of everyone.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Oh, get exposed, expose this.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
I nineteen female, am diagnosed with ASPD antisocial personality disorder.
Don't worry. I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else.
And I need opinions of people who can feel empathy
to know if I was wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
At least you get the self awareness te I'm just
to wake.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
Sure you guys you know on the same bitch too.
By the way, this comes from Striking Letter twenty nine
oh four on the r slash Okay storytime Separate It.
Yesterday night, it was my cousin Bianca's twenty one female birthday.
We were all invited to her house. She still lives
with her parents and we have a big family. My
family arrived first, and a while later my aunt, who

(01:25):
was just divorced call me forty six female arrived and
when she hugged Bianca's boyfriend Vincent twenty one male, after
we sang Happy Birthday and cut the cake, kamios to
me to take pictures with her unlocked phone, as I
don't like to be in photos. As I was taking them,
I saw a notification from someone called Vincent and accidentally

(01:45):
more or less opened it. It said I can't wait
till the party is over. It was him. I knew
his profile picture. He didn't like look over to see
that she was taking pictures on the phone. He was
at the party.

Speaker 5 (01:57):
Accidentally, more or less like I got an help in
it and I hopped up.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:02):
Not even ten minutes later, Commie asked Vincent to help
her bring her gift to Bianca from the car. It
was an electric guitar. Curious, I followed them into the backyard.
Oh piece, done a full snoop, and under the little
light of the car saw them kissing. Ewo. As I
had my phone in my hand, I quickly snapped a
picture and went into the house before they could see me.

(02:23):
They came back fifteen minutes later. As much as I
don't care about Bianca, I thought she deserved to know
the truth. So when it was my turn to give
her my gift, I pulled her aside and showed her
the picture. She burst into tears and started screaming, confronting
both Commie and Vincent. How could you do this to me?
There was lots of tears and shouting. Vincent said it

(02:43):
was only one kiss, only this time. Yes, sure, But
then I asked to see his phone. He denied. Cammie
also denied, calling me a psychopathic, heartless bee word. The
party ended soon after, and Vincent left with CAMMI. Now
my family is divided into three fronts. One my grandma, grandpa, uncle,
and mother think it was not my place to tell too,
Bianca's father, my other aunt, Bianca's mother, Bianca's brother, and

(03:06):
Bianca who think I should have waited till the end
of the party to tell and not ruined her twenty
first birthday. And three my sister, my father, and my
other cousin who think I did the right thing. Feels
like everyone is mad at me and not the cheaters.
So read it. Tell me, am I the a hole.
What's your thoughts?

Speaker 5 (03:24):
Dakota kind of ridiculous that they're like, you ruined her birthday.
It's like birthday, it's your boyfriend that ruined her twenty.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
First birthday by kissing her aunt.

Speaker 5 (03:34):
Is also true that you could have maybe picked a
better time instead of being like, oh, here's your birthday President,
I got a picture for your.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
Birthday presents for you.

Speaker 6 (03:42):
You're welcome.

Speaker 5 (03:44):
I always feel like people being like, it's not your
place to tell. It's like, what do you mean, Like,
who is supposed to tell her? Yeah, it's like once
you find out, it's like I would want someone to
tell me me me too.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
It also seems like, I mean she said that she's not,
you know, always cued into social norms.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
So she oh, that's right, she's got ah.

Speaker 5 (03:59):
Yeah, yes, okay, that explains why it was like immediately
happy birthday.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Look at this photo you.

Speaker 4 (04:05):
Need to know. Yeah, No, I don't think OPI's the
a hole. Jack Fruit Glad eight oh one to five says,
not the A hole. I feel like the birthday would
have been ruined either way. It's sad that they couldn't
even wait for your cousin to have a good birthday
to act on their affair. Opie says, right, I was labrigasted.
An external expert twenty sixty nine says it's anyone's place
to tell on a cheater, not the a hole, which

(04:26):
I agree. Yeah, I think if you find out, you
should have hit it better if you didn't want them
to tell. Juicy Sopie says, you're not the a hole
for exposing the affair, but you could have chosen a
better time in place to do it. Opie says, thank you.
I find it hard to take other people's feelings into
account since I don't have many of my own. I
will apologize to Bianca Hermione says, Yeah, finding out you've
been cheated on in public can also be really embarrassing.

(04:48):
You feel shame, anger, disgust, and vulnerable. It's usually one
of the lowest points of someone's life, so you really
don't want an audience for it. It makes it a
spectacle if you're ever in a situation like that. Again,
as hard as it is to wait, make sure the
victim of cheating has some privacy, and Opie says, I
will thank you life. Let us when eighty says you
did the right thing by telling Bianca. In the future,

(05:09):
could you talk to someone close to you who tends
to do the right thing often and ask for their
advice on how to proceed. If you're close to anyone
in the second group of people who thought right thing
wrong time, they could be a good sounding board in
the future. There is an update one day later, A Hi. So,
as you can see from my profile, I'm not an
active user, so I hope this post finds those who
answered my previous post. My grandparents called for an urgent

(05:31):
family meeting this afternoon. Me, my sister, father, and mother
went as soon as we could. When we arrived, Bianca
was already there, As some of you suggested, I called
her into the other room and apologized for airing the
dirty laundry. In front of everyone. She cried a little
and apologized for being mad at me, thanking me because
if I hadn't taken the picture, she wouldn't have believed me,
as she's been with Vincent for five years.

Speaker 7 (05:54):
No, I oh, now that means that the aunt was
made be doing some groomy type behavior because they're twenty one,
so he was what sixteen?

Speaker 3 (06:05):
I mean they started dating.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
It's it's like triple weird. She hugged me, which was
a bit awkward since we haven't hugged in many years.
To give you a rundown, Vincent left with Commy last
night and broke up with Bianca overtext. Freaking song.

Speaker 5 (06:18):
Whoa freaking size he's dedicated to being.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
He's like, you know what, not only am I not
going to talk to her about me cheating on her,
I'm just gonna break up with her overtext.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah, breaking up with you and I'm leaving with your aunt.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
When Commy showed up at the family meeting, she was
bombarded with questions like when did it start? How did
it start? She answered calmly, although it seemed like she
cried a lot during the night. The affairs started ah
when Vincent turned eighteen.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
Oh my god, he got groomed by the end.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
No, that's also really sad. Oh, Like obviously you know
he has his own part to play in the cheating. Yeah,
but definitely a lot of like definitely grooming here. That's
because if he just turned it.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Yeah, really sad, disgusting.

Speaker 4 (07:02):
So three years ago, at a previous birthday at Bianca,
my mother, who had been on her side before, was disgusted.
My grandparents admitted knowing and encouraging the affair, but apologized.
What who's encouraging that behavior? What is wrong with this family?
The mom and the grandparents were both on her side.
Bianca stormed off and said that she would cut everyone

(07:24):
who kept in touch with Kamie off. I did not
follow her, as we are not close. I forgot to
mention in my previous post, but Kamie is not just
my aunt. She's my godmother, which is a very important
title where I live like a second mother. As she
was leaving the family had decided to cast her out,
she asked if she could talk to me. Curious, I went.
She told me she was sorry, and I said I

(07:47):
was not the one she should apologize to. I said
she was praying on Vincent, but she vehemently denies it,
saying she never had eyes for him before he was eighteen.
Yeah right, I said. She started crying, saying it was
a mistake and she would do anything to have her
family back. I said, I was not the one wronged,
but I will not forgive you and will cut you
off as your actions tell me a lot about your morals.

(08:09):
Do not contact me ever again. She cried, begged, and pleaded,
saying I was like a daughter to her. By the way,
you could be like a daughter to us and join
us live every week ten three PMSD just tap that profile.
So I said, I'm a psychopathic, heartless be word after all.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
Oh oh wait, whoa Oh. She's throwing it back at.

Speaker 4 (08:29):
Her because she was like, oh, I'm a like, you're
like a daughter to me, And she's like, I don't care,
I'm a psychopathic B word after.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
You know, I guess you were right about me when
you said I was a psychopathic A word.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
And then she dropped the mic that she'd been caring
wow and left. She tried calling and messaging, but I
blocked her everywhere, as did the rest of my family.
I don't think I will update again, but thanks to
everyone who tried to help and gave your input. And
there are some comments from Op as well. To finish
this story off, But what are you all thoughts.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
I think she handled that perfect. Yeah, I think she was.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
Like I told Bianca, my aunt tried to come back
and get forgiveness and I said, no, I'm not talking
to you.

Speaker 5 (09:06):
Yeah, there is like a little red flag with the
family being like so supportive of it.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
But honestly, I don't.

Speaker 5 (09:12):
Think Ope is Like I think OPI's in a good
place to sort of just like move beyond those people
in her life. Yeah, and just sort of not let
that like impact or affect her.

Speaker 4 (09:21):
But Op, you're not the ale, Wacky Spath says, not
the ale. This woman groomed a kid and then started
sleeping with them, supposedly at eighteen. It's sick as suck
gets add to that she's doing her niece's boyfriend. It's
even more sick. Grandparents are disgusting too. This isn't an
empathy question, this is basic morality. A man in Black says.
It's kind of telling that even the diagnosed psychopath has

(09:43):
a better understanding of right and wrong than the cheating
rumor right. It's wild how the so called the psychopath
is showing more loyalty and ethics than the entire family
who condoned this gross betrayal.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
Yeah, it's crazy. They condoned it. They were like all
for it, Like what.

Speaker 4 (09:59):
I think they should go get tested.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Did the aunt just need a win? Like that?

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Bad?

Speaker 5 (10:03):
They are like her whole life, She's never she's never
had anything good in her life.

Speaker 4 (10:08):
Hidden Agenda says, why the f would your grandparents encourage that?
I'd honestly cut them off too. They encouraged her grooming
a child and sleeping with him as soon as he
was eighteen, Not just any child, but your cousin's boyfriend.
Grous Opie says, I have no idea why they encouraged it,
as at the time nobody asked. My guess is Commie
has always been the golden child of theirs as long

(10:29):
as I've lived. She can do no wrong in their eyes.
Once she totaled my mother's car and they convinced my
mother to not make her pay like at all.

Speaker 5 (10:38):
What So it's the opposite of she's never had a win,
she's her whole life has been a walking w for her.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
Me and my sister Bianca will be cutting them off.
I am yet to know about the rest of the family,
and that is the end of that story. But I
think that's the right move.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Just cut them off. Yeah, it just and I think
you're on the right path.

Speaker 8 (10:57):
My boyfriend seems to get along with everyone. Turns out
he's a psychopath.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
Oh that's a big no. No, I can't just be
friendly these days.

Speaker 8 (11:05):
I've been with him for about six months and that
I've known him for about three months before that, total nine.
He's gorgeous and witty, intelligent and charismatic.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
That's how they get you in the beginning.

Speaker 8 (11:16):
Genuinely not at all what I stereotyped a psychopath to be.
I truly would have never known it. By the way,
this comes from deleted on the r slash okay story,
Tom sub.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
I hope you're okay.

Speaker 8 (11:28):
So sometimes he can be a little cold, a little dry,
and there have been times in our relationship where I'm
expressing something he's done to express me that I am
catching the drift. He's genuinely does not give an f
even if he amends it.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
Okay, So he like has a long sentence. Yeah, that
is a long sentence I was gonna say, so, I
guess that sentence trying to say like he can tell
like he can, he like he can. He knows what's
going on, like yeah, but he doesn't care. Yeah, if
something's bothering you, like oh, he doesn't really read the
room that much. He's like, Okay, I understand, I don't care. Yeah,
he knows what the room is, doesn't care, Okay, okay.

(12:03):
My biggest clue, however, was watching him adapt insanely good
depending on those around him. We've always been in the
same friend group, so I've always seen him act a
certain way, behave a certain way, and yes, being his girlfriend,
I get a different side to him. But barely two
nights ago, when I went to a work event for

(12:23):
his work with him and I watching an effing awe,
he literally acted like an entirely different person. Oh, everyone
loves him because how he was acting exactly how they
wanted him to needed him to. Nah, dude, he's just
a secretary just behavior. No, No, he's such a cancer. Yeah,

(12:47):
d he's just people pleaser.

Speaker 8 (12:49):
The jokes they told that, I could have sworn he
would think they were horrendous. He laughed at and made
similar jokes, Wow, topics of discussion he does not care for.
They brought up, and he talked with him with amazing interest.
It was like he had morphed into this amazing person
for them, one nothing like the person I was used to.

(13:11):
I asked him about it on the drive back to
my place. He tried to gaslight me and acted he
was normal. I didn't buy it. I didn't invite him
to my place like I always did, and I guess
that's when he figured out I was mad. He didn't
contact me for two days.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Whoa wait, wait wait, So they went to the work event.
They went to the work event. He was the he was,
he was the guy he was, he was two facing it. Yeah,
I don't know. Maybe sometimes people put on their work voice. Yeah, no,
I do that all the time. It's like, oh, hello,
how might I help you? And then it's like, oh, okay,
forget there with this person. Uh you know, Yeah, I don't.
I don't know, especially if he's doing well and he's

(13:50):
succeeding and that like people like him in the workplace.
But the fact that he's not a minute, no I'm
the same person. Yeah, that's where it gets a little weird.
Where and everyone likes him, well, I mean Op likes him.
Like OP said, he's witty, he's charming. Yeah, of course him.
I can't stop thinking about Joe from you, Okay, I
can't stop thinking about him like he just wants He's

(14:12):
literally the person that everyone wants him to be. Maybe
he's doing that for you to Op. Maybe you didn't
think about that. Mmmm, well maybe you did later in
the story. But let's see, my boyfriend had upset me
and he doesn't care to contact me. Okay.

Speaker 8 (14:27):
Then he ended up showing up and insisting on talking
to me, and he told me he was a psychopath.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
Oh, right out the floodgates. I got in his face.

Speaker 8 (14:39):
And told him to get out. He brought his medical
information with him to prove it, all the tests, the diagnosis,
all of it. I was floored. Dude, Oh there could
there could be good psycho paths out there, right, I
don't know.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
I don't know. If this guy already maybe the medical
documents that hey, I'm a psychopath, I would be like, okay,
what does this consist of? Like, like what does this mean?
What is this? What's your cycle? Like analysis? He told
me that people like him are extremely good at adapting
to social situations that serve them to fit into. Of course,

(15:18):
being friendly and liked at work served him. It's why
he's been promoted so fast. Okay, Yeah, it's never a.

Speaker 8 (15:26):
Bad thing to have too many friends. So he masks
and adapts when meeting new people and screens them to
decide if he really wants or cares to have them
for a friend. So being a psychopath helps you financially?

Speaker 3 (15:39):
Am I a psychopath? It's like I like people. I
want to be friendly with everyone and talk to everyone.
If they have a certain thing that they could talk about,
I could talk to them about it. Okay, I'm conful. Well, okay,
we'll see, we'll see. Yeah. Like, well I haven't seen
anything negative in the same boat where Yeah, I feel
like everyone does that unless it be like you're not

(16:00):
like unless if you're introverted, but like as an extrovert, Yeah,
like you want to talk to people, you want to like, Oh,
you want to meet people, you want to be nice,
you want to be like all right, yeah, this makes
me think, like I know more psychopaths. Yeah? Are we
being called ou at psychopaths? I asked him why me?
Why had he made me his long term girlfriend.

Speaker 8 (16:18):
He simply said, I'm at a point in my life
I think I should have a girlfriend, probably one. All Mary,
I knew you for three months and I liked you enough,
so I picked you.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
This conversation is really weird. Picked me. Yeah, that that's
where he got weird. This is I don't think psychopaths
say that. I think that's that's just a weird thing
to say. He told me. It was when him and
I were walking back to mine and I made a
joke he found genuinely funny, and he noticed he found

(16:51):
me genuinely pretty, and you decided then and there, Yeah, okay, oh, picker,
this is weird. This is weird. That was a bar.
You make one good joke and you all right, yeah
you're the one. Yeah, you know what, Okay, I've picked
this one. She made me feel laughter. You're mine now,
you know, I'm not gonna lie. I kind of did
that with Angie. I was like, dude, she's pretty funny,

(17:11):
and she she's gorgeous. So you're a psychopath. So I'm like, yeah,
I see where this goes. I didn't say I picked her,
but I was like, you know what, I'll go see
where this goes, Yeah, she's like, she's the one like
she she made a funny joke. I'll give her the
Oh yeah, you know, I'll give her the time of day.

Speaker 8 (17:26):
Dude, this this relates so much. Yeah, I'm hep terrified
right now?

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah? Are we psychopaths? Very scared? Here and boom a
month later, we're together. That happened to me.

Speaker 8 (17:37):
It took a month. Oh my god to see you.
I am so confused. Does this mean he likes me?
Does he love me? Is this as close to love
as a psychopath gets? I asked him if he's genuinely
loved me, and he said I would marry you. Doesn't
that answer it? No, just say you love her? I

(17:58):
said I needed time, and he just left. I realize
I think he's literally doesn't give an f so that's why.
But he's giving me time. I love him. I don't
know if I could live with this. I'm just confused
and I don't know what to tell everyone just yet.
I feel embarrassed. I haven't figured it out, and there

(18:18):
is an update.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
I don't know, man, I don't know. This guy seems fun,
this guy seems like the guy, but he is diagnosed. Yeah,
but what does the dog like. I wish we had
more information on the diagnosis, like what is his tendencies?
Because when he said I put on a mask to
meet everyone's except like everyone's needs and like talk with them. Yeah, yeah,

(18:39):
I mean is that psychopathic or is that just normal?
I don't know.

Speaker 8 (18:43):
First, thanks so much for all of the advice. I
have read every single comment, and while the general advice
has been run for my life, I decided it was
worth one more conversation about it with my boyfriend. Okay,
I invited him over and asked some questions I'm going
to type out and how it went me. Why did
you decide to tell me you were a psychopath? Boyfriend?

Speaker 3 (19:06):
Because you were going to leave me if you didn't
get a good explanation from my behavior.

Speaker 8 (19:11):
And I know when you leave, you stay gone me.
So did you tell me to mock my honesty and
my vulnerability?

Speaker 3 (19:19):
Boyfriend?

Speaker 8 (19:20):
No, I was going to cut my losses, which is
why you didn't hear from me. But I genuinely like you.
I would miss things from my life if you left.
You're one of the few people whose company I actually
seek out and enjoy. And the spicy sleep is great,
which I think should be noted. So I decided to
be honest.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
With you me. Do you love me, boyfriend? I can
say I do, if that's what you like to hear. Oh, no,
this is me that it's like, oh the love I
love you, But but I'm making an effort not to
tell you what you want to hear me. What do
you think I want to hear? Boyfriend? That I love you,
that you're the only person in the world I love

(20:01):
and care about, and that I'd never hurt you, and
you're the only person who gets to see the real me.

Speaker 8 (20:07):
Okay, And what's the truth, boyfriend? That I'd marry you
because I don't see myself being happier in another relationship.
That I would miss you if you left my life,
so I'm not in the business of going out of
my way to drive you out, And that I would
try my best to act like myself around you and
not how you want me to act. And how you

(20:28):
haven't left me, so that's a good sign. No me,
why did you say you picked me? Boyfriend? Why is
this beginning to sound like an interrogation? I'm getting my
facts sorted, so it kind of is, boyfriend. Okay, that's right.
I said, it is because it's what I did. It
was at a point of my life and career where
I figured I should have a long term girlfriend and

(20:49):
I wanted that person.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
To be you. This conversation is very odd. He says
things correctly, and then he adds like a sentence that's
like so robotic. He sounds like old robot. Yeah, he's like,
I love you, but that's what you wanted to hear.
But I do genuinely love you. But what why did
you add the that's what you want to hear? You like?
I love you? This is how it was brain words, probably,

(21:12):
I guess, but that's very like. Maybe that's where the
psychopathic starts. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know too much about psychopaths.

Speaker 8 (21:17):
Me because you liked me, boyfriend, because I think that
you're pretty, and I do generally think you're funny, and
your beliefs aligned with mine, and I know you very
well from when we were friends. I knew the type
of person you were and I thought wo'd be a
good match, and I was right. So you picked me
because I checked off a checklist, not because you had

(21:38):
like a charge crush on me, boyfriend. Yeah, at first
it was tactical, but I wouldn't have stayed with you
if I saw you as a walking tick list or
outside get bored. I'm staying with you and I plan
to marry you because I like you me. Will you
ever love me? Boyfriend?

Speaker 3 (21:57):
I'll do for you what a boyfriend who loves you
does me?

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Is it?

Speaker 8 (22:02):
Because your best interest is to keep me happy? Boyfriend?
That's what all boyfriends do. They do things to keep
their girlfriends happy because it serves them to have a
happy relationship. And I've done a good job because we
have had a happy relationship me. So do you mind
if you do that? Boyfriend? No, because you're happy, which
means I am. Because when you're pissed and impacts my

(22:24):
life in ways I don't want.

Speaker 6 (22:25):
It to me.

Speaker 3 (22:27):
And if I died, would you be sad?

Speaker 8 (22:29):
Boyfriend? That was a dumb thing to say me. Would
you boyfriend? I'd miss you, but I wouldn't be sad
in the way you'd like me to be.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
Me.

Speaker 8 (22:41):
Do you ever care when I'm sided? And you don't
have to be sad? Because we go live every weekday
at three PMPST.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
Just type our profile, tap it what in the world
both of them, both of the the questioning that she's
asking is so weird. I feel like yet like I
feel like they're both asking like but I feel they're
both robots. I don't know this is this is a
weird conversation. This is weird. This is making me like
not like it makes me kind of cringe. Yeah, it
sounds like like there's a robot inside of him, like like,

(23:08):
this is how emotion works, and this is what you
want to hear. That's what my programming says and data shows,
and that's what you want. It genuinely does sound sweet, though, No,
I think he's doing his best to communicate his emotions
and he understands how this is how his brain works,
and he does he has found someone he enjoys his
life with. But this questionnaire is very odd, Like this
is just a very awkward conversation, and I don't know

(23:31):
what's going to bothered. It's a very bothered back to me.
Do you ever care when I'm sad? Boyfriend?

Speaker 8 (23:38):
Yes, and no, it doesn't affect me all that much
if you were sad, unless I know it's going to
impact me. But I don't like to see you cry.
But whether I've made you cry or something else hasn't
mattered to me. I just don't like to see it me. Thanks,
who else knows? Boyfriend, my parents? That's it me. I
want I want time to thank this over now, boyfriend friend,

(24:00):
I'm not going to wait forever me okay. And that's
how it pretty much went. I have an excellent memory,
so this is pretty much word for word. Look, based
off of this conversation, I think I'd like to stay
with him. But those reading this message who may spotted
red flags, please do tell me.

Speaker 3 (24:17):
And that's the end of it. I'm gonna I'm gonna
track and say if there's anyone look, okay, okay, the
fact that he's told you that he's a psychopath and
only two people know that are his parents, that's a
very big thing. So he does genuinely care. It does
seem like the boyfriend genuinely cares for op It's deleted.
It's deleted. She's gone, she's gone to she's gone.

Speaker 8 (24:40):
I confuse, guys in the comments, explain to us the
red flags that you saw.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
I mean, the red flag is oh, Opie says, if
I passed away, how would you feel? He and he
says sad, but not to the to the degree of
like super sad. But I don't I don't know. I
don't know if he's telling the truth there, because maybe
he just doesn't know how lost works. It doesn't it
doesn't hit you until that person is actually like, gone,
pretty strange. I'd be treading with Ratt. This is definitely

(25:07):
treading water carefully because again he's admitted that he's a psychopath.
But the thing, he's like, I want to be real
with you because I like you, So he does like, Ope,
this is just very odd. Again, like we said earlier, Yeah,
I don't know. This is not for me, not for me,
but if you can figure it out, yeah, let us
know in the comments because I can't wrap my head

(25:27):
around how this conversation went. And then she op was
like this is fine, I guess, and he's like, this
is fine. I guess. Wild that's a weird that was
a weird that that found like a horror movie. Yeah, oh,
that's the end of the episode. My girlfriend wants me
to evict my roommate because he's trans. I twenty two

(25:50):
male have a roommate. Let's call him Alex male twenty
three who moved in about six months ago. I honestly
never considered Alex to be trans, not that I would
care he was, but that's not the issue. He is
a short guy and probably under one hundred and sixty
five centimeters five five to five keon size five to seven,
but yes my size, has a lot of facial hair muscles,

(26:12):
and looks a lot like a short Henry Cavill in
my opinion, m okay. No one I know has ever
brought this idea before. I've had many friends and family
at our apartment and they've never said anything. This is
really the part that gets to me because my mom
is extremely against any gay people, and if she sends
anything was up, she would have caused problems right away.
By the way, this comes from user used your name
on on the r slasho Ky Storytime suppered it. So

(26:34):
Alex and I get along. We're polite, but not really friends.
He's quiet, but again super polite. He always pays rent
on time, helps with the chores, and even shares his
cooking with me. I appreciate having him around, especially because
my last three roommates were each their own horror story.
The issue came up with my girlfriend let's call her
Sarah female twenty eight. She came over one day Alex

(26:56):
was shirtless. To clarify, I forgot to tell Alex she
was coming over and she noticed the scars on his chest.
After that, she was quiet and short with me with
her entire stay there. When she got home, she blew
up my phone asking why I had a female living
with me. I was confused and asked what she was
on about. She says that she knows that his scars

(27:19):
are from top surgery and that he is a short.
That he is short, so he has to be trans
or be born a female. I tried to explain that
even if it Alex is trans or born female, that
there's no way I'd be attracted to him because to
any person who looked at him, you would see a
freaking guy. Plus, he's respectful and doesn't cause drama like
my last roommates, which again she knows about. Yeah that's nice,

(27:42):
no drama. Oh man, what's wrong here? Is? What is
the what is the problem here? Yeah? Yeah, Alex, I
mean it hasn't been stated. It seems like the home
life girlfriend maybe a little jealous here. Just to be clear,
I honestly still have no idea if Alex is even trans,
so we don't even know for her, not even dred percent.
So the girlfriend is just jumping to conclusions. And that's

(28:04):
the worst part. I googled it, and those scars could
be from some other surgery, like heart surgery or something
along those lines. And I really don't have an argument
for him being short, but there is a lot of
short men. Hi. At first, Sarah wanted me to just
ask Alex if he was trans, which why the f
would I do that? Or give her his last name
so she can run a background check. Oh whoa, I

(28:24):
said no to both. Kind of creepy. That's very odd.
Then she said this was a violation of trust and
that if I didn't either find out if Alex is
trans and kick him out or just kick him out,
that she would have to reevaluate things. Whoa basically threatening
to break up should reevaluate? How joeus who are right now?

(28:44):
This is very stupid? Yeah, this is weird. I said,
I don't do ultimatums and that we're done. Nice wow boundaries,
Right then, that's fair. Since then, she's been messaging me
every single day for over two weeks, even after I
blocked her on everything because she wouldn't leave me alone,
pissed that I want to do this small thing for her.

(29:06):
She considered this a small thing. Ah. She ranges from
are you effing him? Let's just talk? Why can't you
at least give me closure and ask him? Whoa? All
over the place it's yeah, to the most recent her
telling our mutual friend about the situation. Our friend wants
nothing a part of this crap show. I didn't feel
bad at first, but after talking about it online, I've

(29:27):
had some people say I should have just asked my
roommate if he was indeed trance, just to keep the peace.
What No? Then if it was a yes, so it
just gotten even worse, Yeah it would, then she would
have used it against you. Oh yeah yeah. Or I
shouldn't have essentially picked my roommate who I've only had
about six months over my girlfriend of five years five years.
I didn't even know that was a five year relationship.

(29:49):
But this is what drew the line. I guess there
has to be other red flags. This is very after.

Speaker 8 (29:55):
We're gonna get an update. I guarantee you're gonna get
an update. We're gonna be like, actually, there's some other
things that I've noticed about her. That's what's gonna happen.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
Yeah, but nonetheless, this is the way the girlfriend's got
Sarah is going about this is really crappy. Yeah, I
wonder if I'm being unreasonable. I legitimately do not see
how any straight dude could find Alex attractive. Okay, that's
a little it's a little rough. Well, straight dude, straight
dude founding another dude attractive. I mean, I've Henry Cavill's attractive. Yeah,

(30:24):
I'm not saying like, oh yeah, I want him. I'm
just saying, like he's attractive. Guy. Well, I guess from me,
he's just trying to see the logic. Yeah, think logically,
he's like, what, there's no way, like, as a straight guy,
I'm not gonna find another dude attracted. Okay, Okay, yeah,
I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying.
But maybe I should have done something just to keep
the peace. And there is an update. I got advice
saying to be upfront and tell him what's up, completely

(30:47):
hide the transport, and that I should just shouldn't tell him.
I don't know if this was the right thing, but
I just told him, because once I was face to
face with him, I couldn't really help, but.

Speaker 6 (30:57):
Do it m M.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
To clarify, I did not ask him about his scars
or mentioned that specifically. Okay, I said my ex girlfriend.
My ex girlfriend was under the impression he was a transperson.
Made sure to say I didn't care if he was
or wasn't, and that I broke things off, changed the
gate codes, put her on the do not let enlist
all that drama. Before even saying anything, he asked if

(31:19):
I was okay. Like I said, he is a chill dude.
He also not so subtly asked the same questions that
a lot of comments asked, especially if I was in
an abusive situation. I told him I don't know, but
whatever kind of situation it was, it's over. Nice. Good
for OP. At the end, I really appreciate OPI like

(31:40):
you're doing ultimatums. I'm done with you. Yeah. The thing
that really kind of efft with me is that he
called me his best friend. Oh wow, I regret not
saying we were close in other comments. I realized now
we have different definitions of close because he is introverted
and I'm not. We talked about irrelevant stuff for a while,
and then the question came up, would you care if

(32:00):
I was trans? To summarize things, yes, Alex is trans masculine.
He had top surgery when he was nineteen and has
been on hormone since he was eighteen. He even has
a tattoo with the date he started testosterone. While the
idea that he could have been a dude with guyno
cancer or something else is completely reasonable, it just happens

(32:22):
that Alex is trans, and I don't care about that.
Alex is Alex. I did show him the post to
get and got permission to update things, Okay, I would
have not otherwise. He is also running this post somewhere
but probably won't comment. Alex is going to help me
out with finding some low cost or pay scale therapy
because he personally hasn't heard good things about the collegeist

(32:43):
therapy services like everyone else has said. Yes, it was abuse,
Oh wow, wow, So he Opie was an abusive relationship
because I guess she was just very demanding and oh boy,
Opie says, I see that. I will also hold high
your standards for myself in the future. Alex sent me
the information for the therapist he sees and I'll contact

(33:05):
them in the morning. The landlord knows there is a
domestic incident, and I trust him when it comes to
making sure my ex doesn't show up. That do not
allow list was made in mind for this reason. I'm
not ready to talk about my mom about this or
just yet, but I hope with some therapy and time
I will be. She knows something is going on, but

(33:26):
she believes this is a break and not a break up.
Ooh ope, he's just getting all of it. This is
a storm of just like a lot of realization.

Speaker 8 (33:35):
Yeah, whenever you're in a I mean it sounds like
they're in college, in a five year relationship.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
That young. This is part of who you are. Yeah,
that is a piece of you. And knowing that this
was a very abusive is very hard to come to
terms with. Sorry if this sounds like rambling, it is.
This has been a rough couple of weeks. My brain
is fried and I'm tired. Keep in mind, I'm still

(34:00):
full time student during this right, Like you said, Riley,
I also have to keep my grades up for my grants, scholarships,
government aid, et cetera. Oh wow, I do read all
the comments even though not so good ones. I will
try to respond more before I sleep tonight, but just know,
even if I don't reply, I have read it. I
appreciate all the advice, kicks in the rear and the sympathy.

(34:22):
A side note, I have seen a lot of trans
people comment on this post, and I've had a few
reach out to me in private. I'm thankful for your
comments as well. It has brought to my attention how
tough things are out there, because I honestly felt what
I did was the bare minimum and not worthy of
praise because it should just be expected. But I see
that it is being praise for how low a Barther
is when it comes to human decency towards you, And

(34:45):
I'm sorry for that and I hope things get better.
There's a second up. Okay, wow, this was so this
was like this update just seem like op is coming
to realization. Yeah, what is going on? Yeah? And it's
just like whoa big woe moment for her. The only
villain here is the girlfriend, Yeah, and I'm glad that's
the only drama. Yeah. No, and the mom. The mom

(35:08):
is a I hope the mom isn't going to be
a villain in the future, but it seems like it's
going to happen. Yeah, sooner or later, which sucks because
the mom is very anti just LGBTQA, so that really
is annoying. He realizes I was in a bad situation
and now you're making a good friend out of this.
You're getting closer with your roommate. Update number two. I

(35:29):
talked to the therapist. Alex recommended. Normally I would be
on the wait list until January, but due to the situation,
the therapist referred me to one of his associates and
I'll be seen as early as next week. Nice. I
was also recommended to attend to domestic violence support group
that gathers once a month. I was originally not going
to go because the idea was uncomfortable as f but

(35:50):
Alex said he'll go with me. Wow, so at least
I'll know someone there and we can leave if it's
too weird for me. My mom is aware of the breakup.
She is not too happy. I did not mention the transpart.
I said that Sarah was being controlling and I didn't
want to put up with it anymore. I got the
usual that's a normal part of any relationship. Sweetie. Oh,

(36:10):
no comments, but I stood my ground. My mom seems
to be under the same delusion as Sarah that this
is a small argument or something and we will get
back together. But that is absolutely not happening. Mm hmm, Bye, Sarah.
I don't really talk to Sarah's mom, so I don't
know her thoughts on the matter. The landlord is aware
of the situation and will not let Sarah in. Nice
if you don't have the get code, you don't have

(36:31):
to go to the main office, and the employee landlord's
son will buzz the person in if they are accepted
on the person list, and call the tenant and ask
if they aren't on the list. So there's so many
failsafes got it, I got it. If the individual is
on the do not let in list, especially if it
involves a criminal matter, they will be asked to leave.
If they don't leave, then it becomes trespassing. I know

(36:53):
this sounds like a lot, but the security is why
a lot of people live here. Notes after reading some comments,
I am sorry for trivialized my abuse. It still feels
weird to say abuse, but I do not know that
it is abuse. Slapping, pushing and shoving is physical abuse,
and if another person came up and told me their
partner was doing that, I would call it abuse. It's

(37:14):
not that I don't think women can be abusive, but
as I said in one of the comments, I don't
view it as abuse when it's towards me. This is
probably due to being abused by my mom. Oh no ah,
that's so sad, which I'm going to get help for.
For reference, when I mentioned my mom's abuse, it's why
I'm low contact with her. The reason why I was

(37:35):
extremely underweight as a kid is because she just straight
up didn't feed me a lot of the time. Child
Protection Services got called a lot, but never did anything.
They also didn't take any claims by my teachers that
I was being abused as credible because there were no
marks or bruises, which has warped my view on abuse.
Whoa whoa, whoa whoa? Okay, Opie is this is just

(37:59):
this was like one tiny argument to like the most
eye opening realization therapeutic thing that He's like, I got
it with therapy. My mom was abusive, but like I
never saw that as like a thing. Now I'm like,
this is all eye opening. Holy holy crap. This is
crazy going forward. If I date again, then I won't
put up with any physical or verbal abuse as you

(38:22):
should have. You know, no one should ever put up
with that. A couple of comments helped by saying that
if I was confused on it was if it was
wrong to think about if another person was going through
it and put yourself in their shoes. Hmmm, that's smart.
That's really smart, which has been helpful in what I
feel is right and wrong treatment towards me or you know,
what's at least right? What's that? Joining us live three

(38:43):
pm PST every weekday. Just tap our profile, tippy tap tap,
tipp tap tap. Dang, that is kind.

Speaker 8 (38:50):
Of crazy, how one like this breakup was probably the
best thing that could ever happen to you in your life,
one hundred percent.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
It sucks that there's so much I said, it's a
big just cloud of like a whoa. But great for
OP and great that you have at least your roommate
Alex supporting you a huge healing journey ahead of you.
After a lot of talking, it turns out Alex and
I have been friends this whole time, but because I've

(39:17):
never had an introvert friend, before I didn't exactly realize.
Alex says he didn't want to annoy me by trying
to chat with me all the time, which ironically is
what I was feeling. Now we're going to hang out
more and he's trying to get me to join a
D and D campaign. He is in. Let's wow, and
that's the end of the story. Let's go, okay, so Op,

(39:39):
you deserve like a hug. Yeah, yeah, you deserve a
r nrtual hug. There's no advice needed you you again,
you have to have a conversation with your mom sooner
or later. I mean, the trance thing. I don't think
it has to come up, if it unless if it
needs to come up. Yeah, but you're already low contact
with your mom. You know what she did as you
with your childhood. He doesn't, you know, deserve to talk

(40:02):
to you almost if you want to do that. But
you're doing things that are good for you. D and
d's great. You have again a really tight knit relationship
with Alex. There's no comments on this. It looks like
it looks like it just you know, it's just a process.
There we go, and that's the end of that story.
Is the end of that story. So we'll get to
you guys at the next one.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
Here.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (40:29):
My boyfriend is obsessed with streaming. I don't know how
to tell him it's never going to happen. Oh no,
just El's man, ELL's left and right. I know this
is a bit lighter than what this sub is used to,
but I don't know who else to tell this to
that doesn't know him. By the way, this comes from
user extra French Toast on the r slash Okay storytime
suppared it. Me and my boyfriend have been together for

(40:51):
five months roughly. For Christmas. One of my gifts was
an Xbox very nice. A while back, I was reading
something out loud to him from some gaming news site
and I mentioned that Ninja, a professional streamer, makes something
like five hundred k a month on Twitch. Since learning this,
he has since wanted to become a streamer himself. Brother's

(41:13):
gonna learn real quickly. He's not a streamer now. Every
time he plays a game, he streams it. I stated
in my title that he's trying to become a streamer,
but he really isn't trying at all. Oh no, he's
just streaming what's on his screen from his Xbox with
no facecam or even a mic. There's a little bit
of strategy of wine Ninja became as big as he is.

(41:35):
It's a personality, brother. You gotta show your face. You
gotta have fun. You can't just show gaming. That's not
what everyone wants. He said to me that he's really
shocked he doesn't have many viewers. I tried gently explaining
to him that streaming slash YouTube is all about your personality,
to no avail. Wow. Wow. He's also really camera shy

(41:55):
and doesn't even have many pictures of him over the years,
to the point where his mother gave up on trying
to get him into family photos. Oh wow. There are
ways around that, though.

Speaker 8 (42:05):
If you don't, you can do like an animated lego
guy or animated saying.

Speaker 3 (42:09):
But he's not this guy doesn't seem like he's doing anything.
But also, you have to be good at the game.
You don't I feel like this guy's good of the game.
You could be. You have to be either good or funny.
Imagine being both. I play video games, I hit hard.
Oh yeah, we already knew that. Dude. Yeah, maybe I
should start streaming. So I don't understand how being a
streamer would even work for him, or how he thinks

(42:30):
it's a good idea. He also sits very quietly muttering
on an occasional f as he plays a video game.
The popular streamers he's trying to emulate have natural humor
and commentary, and he just doesn't have it, if you
know what I mean. He just doesn't factor. He even
mentioned that I should that I should start streaming because

(42:51):
I'm pretty okay at some games. Oh my god, I
can I can hear the eye roll in this sentence.
I laughed it off and said I have no interest
in a past relationship I and called negative, So I
didn't want to just crap all over his parade. For
some background, he is in school to be an architect
and has a good union job and gets paid pretty well,
so so it can't just solely be a money thing.

(43:13):
This week, I was doing errands and he said he
was going to pick up his laundry and the grocer
groceries for me to cook dinner before I get there. Okay,
oh no, already, already, I already see you, I see
I already know this. This kid is glued. When I
did get there, he was sitting in his room in boxers,
streaming for no viewers, and the laundry slash groceries still

(43:34):
hadn't been picked up, even though it had been six
or so hours. This really pissed me off, but I
didn't say anything. He doesn't usually pay video games for
that long, but now it's all he does in his
spare time. He's trying to do. Come on, he's trying
to game bro. He's trying to get that grind on.
He's trying to get finished that battle pass. He's got
that gaming addiction. We have a trip to Japan coming

(43:56):
up in June, and he is now talking about buying
equipment for his stream. Oh no, this dude's personality is
just gamer, but like bad gamer. Oh no, I have
a lot of thoughts on this expensive equipment. My money
for the trip has been put away for a month
and he still hasn't started saving for it. I am
afraid that he will spend all the money on equipment
and our trip will go to Ruin the other night,

(44:18):
he said to me happily that he has one dedicated
viewer that watches every time he's on baby Steps. What
he doesn't know is that Twitch counts you as a
viewer when you start the stream. Oh no, oh no,
he's there all the time. He's my number one supporters.
Like I started, and he's already there and he doesn't
say anything, but he's watching me fine when you start

(44:40):
the stream. So the follower he's talking about is himself.
Oh no, I justn't smart. Giving him an Xbox was
the worst decision ever. Ope. I just really didn't have
the heart to tell him because I know how embarrassing
that would be. Would you tell him, dude? Oh yeah,
that a knowledge I know? Yeah him, dude, I'd give
him a whole breakdown. I would tell him so he
doesn't get the inspiration like he uses that one viewer himself,

(45:03):
by the way, as inspiration, like, oh if I got one,
I can get two. If I can get two, I
can get four. There's a lot. There's a lot to this.
It's become a point of annoyance every time I hear
the word streamer. Any advice here or should I just
let this twitch tream fizzle out without my input? There's
an update some of You may not have been around

(45:24):
to read the comments after I posted this, but some
more details on this situation that I didn't initially say
were posted by me when I read it. Her, who
has since deleted her comments for the sake of privacy,
related to me and explained how her ex was the
same way and seemed to have a video game addiction earlier.
Her experience eerily mirrored mine. You can read my response here.

(45:47):
Yesterday after work, I had to rush home to deal
with some family stuff, so I did not get to
sit him down and talk to him besides a five
minute phone call and passing him at work. Today, however,
my path was clear and I was to I'm going
to speak to him about this. When I woke up
and showered, I checked the Xbox app and saw that
he was last online thirty minutes ago at seven a

(46:11):
m oo. I was working the overnight shift. Oh man, dude,
Oh man dude, which means again that he did not
sleep at all. I didn't contact him. His day off
was today, and he called me at three pm to
say that he just woke up. All right, brother, that's
all right, it's his day off. It's day off. But
that's not a good day off. Yeah. I could hear

(46:32):
overwatching the background, and he asked how my day was going,
and immediately before I got to respond, very angrily, he said,
why the f won't this guy get up? Honso he
thing sucks. I don't even know what that means. I'm
a Hanso main and diva main. Get off Hanso. I
had a client approaching me and swiftly hung up. I

(46:53):
can relate to this story so much. This is actually
really funny. This is you, dude, This is not me,
this is this is this is you, and I'm a girlfriend.
This is Christian. Stop, this is Christian. May Oh that's cute. Yeah.
I called him back after work when I was walking
home and decided to start with small talk. Before I
got to the subject, I was leading to, No, girl,
get right into it. You gotta stop playing playing around

(47:14):
the bush here. You gotta go straight into this. I
didn't even have a chance to start off with the
small talk before he asked me why I was slightly
out of breath. I said, it's because I'm walking through
snow uphill. He said, it's snowing. Oh no. It snowed
heavily for quite a few hours. His place is built
that you can't enter the hallway to the kitchen in
front door without seeing outside. Oh man, he'd even looked

(47:38):
outside of his window at all today and spent all
day in his bedroom playing video games. This snapped me
into asking him if he was planning to do anything
else with his life besides play video games. He said,
of course, just not right now, relatable. He had not
showered or it's like the like, y'all take a shower, dude,

(48:01):
Come on, dude. He had not showered or eaten all day.
I asked, and he admitted it. I asked him if
he thought that I was healthy, and he said, with
an edge, what playing video games? Of course? Am I?
I think smoking math or something. I clarified on this
and just decided to say it. I said, I think
he has a problem.

Speaker 8 (48:20):
Well, honestly, his digital footprint is pretty low, or his
digital print is big, but his natural carbon footprint is
very low. Think about that. No one wants to talk
about that. No one wants to talk about the carbon footprint.
He is not creating.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
This guy's never gamed in his life, and he picked
up a controller and he got instantly hooked. And the
dude is morphing into Literally, it's like the North Korean
soldiers hooked on corn when they visited Russia. Do you
about that?

Speaker 4 (48:47):
No?

Speaker 3 (48:48):
Yeah, so like Russian and North Korea are like joining
forces and some like North Korean soldiers. As soon as
he got access internet corn. Yeah. I clarified on this
and decided to say it. I said, I think he
has a problem. The skipping work. I didn't know he
was skipping work. Oh shoot, he's skipping work now we
didn't know. Wait wait, keep going. The skipping work, not
sleeper or eating, and over all the pure amount of

(49:10):
hours he dedicates to playing them. He then did what
most addicts do, got angry, and then spun it back
on me. Oh no, dude, he has some big problem.
Oh yeah, he said that. I bought him the Xbox
in the first place. What the f DI do you
expect me to do with it? I don't know, just
enjoy it. And then I've been playing video games long

(49:30):
before we were a thing. My Xbox is mostly used
as a Netflix machine and to play Overwatch, Slash the
Dark Soul's trilogy on weekends. Good stuff, I said. I
do not obsess with them or skip meals to play
games and that I would had never thought it for
him if I knew this would what it would lead to.

(49:51):
He got angry and asked, if I just called to
harass him, Bro, you play Overwatch, this is the least
amount of harassment you're getting. You already know again, Overwatch
is very toxic, very very toxic. You think Call of
Duty is a toxic, Overwatch is very toxic. I'm aware.
Look into my eyes. I've seen it all. I said.

(50:12):
I called to speak to him and let him know
my thoughts over the past few months. This is a
few months. Oh my gosh, He said, I was crazy
that everyone plays video games, and whoever said that the
streaming was just a decoy and it excuse to play
video games all day? You were absolutely right? Oh yo,
no way, I did not see that. He feels justified

(50:34):
in doing exactly that as long as he tells me
that there's no there's a goal to it all. But
there's no goal. There's nothing here. I told him that
my mind isn't changed, and that I think he has
a problem and should speak to someone. He said nothing
to this, and then I said that I don't feel
we have anything more to really speak about. And I
can't spend my time worrying about him. I feel like

(50:55):
I'm going to get hate for this, but I won't
budge on it. He is not my child, and I
can't force a girl man to eat or go outside.
I have done my research and slept on it. Many
people pmed me and commed it to tell me there's
stories of dealing with a loved one with video game addiction,
or that they were once in his shoes. Oh wow,

(51:17):
I was once in his shoes. Yeah, this is not
a battle I want to be in. You don't want
to be in his battle. He's not the person I
met last year. He responded to this with a very
mellow voice that he knows he's been inattentive and would
like a chance to make it up to me. He
said he wanted to go on a date tomorrow. I declined,
and he started rambling about how perfect I am for him.
I thought the same. Once. He kept going and I

(51:39):
said I'm and said I'm being ridiculous, and started telling
me the things he could do instead of playing video games,
such as I'm not a drinker, I don't cheat, etc.
But you know what you could do, Sam, You can
join us live every weekday three pm PSD just tape
our profile tap it. The fact that he's gaslighting or
gas sorry, gas lamping, op, Like you did this to me?

(52:05):
Well that's how addicts go. Yeah, no, they can't. The
fact that he can't accept it. And again this has
gone for months that he was trying to be a
streamer and none of it. He knew what he was doing. Dude,
that's crazy. I'm sad because before we dated, he really
was a good friend. I said that I'm almost home
and have to go. He stayed quiet for a while
and said, okay. The fact that the video game noises

(52:27):
didn't stop during the duration of the entire phone call
didn't go unnoticed by me. He only lowered the volume,
but not enough. I literally just called this out like again,
like he's gotta keep playing the videos, and just like
huh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I didn't bring it
up because I don't think he would get off even
if I asked him to. We hung up and that
that was that. Luckily I only see him in passing

(52:49):
at work. I will now make sure to not see
him at all. It's a huge building. It isn't hard.
That sucks yeah. I would also like to note that
I got some very pleasant PMS call me or personal
messages calling me an absolute b for not supporting him
and playing video games. Lovely love those people that I'm
going to regret everything when he's a famous streamer, Okay,

(53:11):
down to saying that I only care about him skipping
work and potentially being fired because I'm not in it
for his money. I'm prepared for more of those messages
for now, abandon abandoning him, and I'm still going to Japan.
Let's go, Let's go, Opu go girl. That's the end
of that story. But like go to Japan, you don't
need him. His his mindset is set on one thing

(53:32):
and one thing only. He's going to realize sooner or
later that the video game video games are just not life. Yeah,
but right now it's not worth it. It's not worth
trying to fight for it. Good for you for standing
a ground, OPI. Yeah, oh man.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
I moved him with my boyfriend and his parents, but
they keep changing their house rule. So I was explaining
this to my sister and one of my friends in
their mouths literally rupt when I told them, so, I
want to here and see if it actually is as
crazy as the reactions make it seem. By the way,
this comes from an electronic Wolf sixty one seventy three

(54:08):
on the Okay storytime Separate It. So, when I was seventeen,
I was kicked out of my mother's house. That's an
entirely different story, but my boyfriend and his parents took
me in. When I first moved in, my boyfriend took
the couch and I took his room. We'd closed the door,
he'd stay in my room late. His parents allowed that
for an entire week. Eventually, we all sat down and

(54:29):
his parents explained the rules set for me and him
to us, which work. My new room door had to
be open at all times. If I were to be
in his room, which got switched from the living room
to the basement, we had to keep the door open
there too. Due to me being in school at the time,
we had to be out of the room by eleven.
And if he wanted to spend more time together than
we needed to be in the living room, I had

(54:49):
to split my boyfriend's chore of doing the dishes. Those
were all the rules they presented to us. Everything was
fine for a while until his parents started to pull
weird stuff and I'm weird, as in, they would act
like they never said something when they did, or randomly
add a rule or boundary that was never discussed or
existed until they confronted us. Me and my boyfriend were
down in the basement laying on his bed, just listening

(55:12):
to music. His dad came down and went to another
part of the basement to do laundry. The stairs are
right next to his bed, but there's a wall covering it,
and before his dad went upstairs, he leaned over and
looked at us, went back upstairs, and then texted my
boyfriend saying that he never remembers telling us that we
could be down in the basement together and that it
doesn't matter anyways. He doesn't want us down there anymore

(55:34):
because it defeats the purpose of keeping an eye on us.
Like they're in the basement. The door's not closed.

Speaker 3 (55:39):
Get my house, my house, my our house, our rules, honestly,
get your own house.

Speaker 6 (55:44):
I want to say, yeah, even though it sucks. Yeah,
and they're going about it. It seems like, well, let'scho
keep reading, but it seems like they're going about it
and sketchy it.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
So we were annoyed because he clearly stated we could,
but didn't argue and just went upstairs. We decided to
go to a park near our house around a toa
clock on a Sunday night. I was doing online school
at this point, so I was usually home all day.
As soon as we get to the park, my boyfriend's
mom texts the group chat that me, her and my
boyfriend had and says to him, not me, Kelly needs

(56:12):
to be back by eleven. This instance was annoying because
she never mentioned a curfew outside of the house, not once.
I didn't know that being out of the room by
eleven because I had school also applied to being in
the house by eleven. It was annoying because it was
sprung on me out of nowhere. It wasn't told to
me directly, and no one sat me down to talk
about it. I wasn't the one who argued about it.

(56:32):
My boyfriend did. I told him to stop, though, because
it just wasn't worth it to me. There was a
time when me and my boyfriend were in my room.
The door was open and we were under my covers
watching a movie on his TV. I didn't know it
at the time, but his mom texted him saying that
we had been under the covers too long. He told
me he ignored her message because we weren't doing anything
appropriate and she could see directly into our room.

Speaker 6 (56:53):
You get ten minutes of undercover time, and then you
gotta go over the cover over to cover.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
The eleven o'clock rule. I was told it was only
because I was still in school. After I graduated and
we moved, I got settled into my new room and
my boyfriend was there with me. Eleven rolled around and
I got a text saying that the rules still applies. Oh,
if we want to spend time together past eleven, we
had to be in the living room. This pissed me
off because to me, why tell us that this rule

(57:19):
is in place for this specific reason, and then when
that reason no longer applies, keep it going. I just
felt that his parents could have communicated better and told
us that the rule wasn't all around one and not
just because I was in school. She put me on
birth control whoa, whoa, whoa, but didn't tell me until
we were already on our way to the appointment. This
annoyed me because again I felt like this was something
I should have been able to at least talk about

(57:41):
before taking the step to do it. That is totally unacceptable.

Speaker 6 (57:45):
Whoa so unacceptable? You can't make medical decisions?

Speaker 4 (57:48):
That's someone totally unacceptable. Also, just like that is a
huge hormonal change.

Speaker 6 (57:54):
Yeah, that's so many people.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
Yeah, like that is.

Speaker 4 (57:57):
An individual decision for every you know, person with those
parts to make. Can't You can't tell anyone to do that.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
I was to say, your house, your rules, but it's
my body mind.

Speaker 4 (58:07):
Yeah, your house, your rules, my vagina, my rules one.

Speaker 6 (58:12):
Percent, And you can make the crappy rule you can't
be in my house unless you're on birth control.

Speaker 4 (58:18):
Yeah, but you can't take her to the doctor's appointment.

Speaker 6 (58:21):
Say this is what is going to happen. It would
still be really crappy to do that, and to put
that ultimatum, even though it's within your power, still would
be really crappy. But again, to take so much to
an appointment.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
Yeah. They kept telling me and my boyfriend that we
couldn't sleep in the same room together because I wasn't
eighteen yet, and he was basically making it seem like
we could once I turned eighteen. Then told us that
they don't care if I'm eighteen. We can't sleep together,
which again I understand if they aren't comfortable with it,
but I don't understand why they made us think we
could for months and then told us differently. At the
last second, I was talking to my boyfriend's mom about

(58:54):
something and she admitted to me that she didn't like
me and his general closeness. There was another time he
was put on for the night and I sat and
talked to his mom about why she did that, and
she mentioned that he used to cuddle with her when
he was younger, and then said, obviously that love language
is getting fulfilled now that you're here, and I don't
know if she meant that in a negative way. We
sat down and talked about the fact that we want
everyone to clear their plates before putting it in the kitchen,

(59:17):
and to stop leaving all their food out unopened on
the counter. His mom said she understood and knows that
it isn't fair to us to be doing that. Not
even a month later, I walk into the kitchen and
there's meat all over the stoves, plates of food sitting
on the counter, dried sauce with chunks in it on
the counter, beer cans all over the counter, and food
in the drain and no one but me and my
boyfriend in the house. It happened again, but everyone was

(59:39):
in the living watching TV. They were recording or evesdropping
on me and my boyfriend's conversations. All I know is
that there were times when me and him simply vented,
or he was angry inventing, and his dad would confront
us about what we said when he wasn't there the
night before, or he'd confront us as we were talking
about him. His parents no longer like me because I'm
struggling to find a job. I've been looking for one

(59:59):
since I was seventeen. My deadline to have one was
on my eighteenth birthday. I've had interviews, I've called even
when I didn't have a phone, I called now that
I do have a phone, I'm applying every day. I'm
making it known I'm interested. I'm doing everything I can.
But this town I live in isn't very big, and
it's just hard. But my boyfriend's mom just thinks I'm
sitting in my room doing nothing. This is so hard

(01:00:21):
because obviously op doesn't really probably doesn't have any other
options than this family. But obviously this family is just
pushing all these boundaries, or not even letting her have
any boundaries and just saying, oh, well, you're in our house.

Speaker 6 (01:00:33):
Yeah, and consistently switching up their boundaries without explanation or advance.

Speaker 4 (01:00:38):
My boyfriend's mom got upset with me because I chose
to get a job instead of going to in person
college classes after finding out I couldn't do online anymore,
and seeing her come up with an in person schedule
for me without talking to me about it after I
told her a very real, very personal reason as to
why I couldn't even do college in person anymore. After
we moved to our new town, my boyfriend, who's nineteen,
found out that he has to share a room this

(01:01:00):
thirteen year old brother.

Speaker 6 (01:01:01):
Oh it sucks.

Speaker 4 (01:01:02):
He didn't want his stuff in the room he's sharing
because his brother likes to touch stuff that doesn't belong
to him, So he asked me if he could keep
his stuff in my room, and I happily agreed. Then
his mom told me that I had to tell him
to get his things out because I needed my space.
I told her I didn't mind, and I gave him
permission to. After an entire argument went down and I
was in the car alone with her. By the way,

(01:01:22):
you'll never be alone if you join us live every
Weekdad three pmpst on YouTube, TikTok and Facebook. Just top
her profile and there is a little bit left.

Speaker 6 (01:01:30):
But what do you think again, like just such an
unfortunate circumstance. Yeah, like it's so amazing necessity. Yeah, like
it is a necessity. It seems like, oh, he has
nowhere else to go to go. It was extremely kind
and compassionate for oh P's boyfriend to let her stay
at the house, and yet at the same time, they're
continuously overreaching, They're continuously being controlling and changing their mind

(01:01:55):
without communicating about it, and so it's hard. I'm curious
if any conver station has happened with them from either OP,
which might be hard, or op's boyfriend. Yeah, of like
coming at it from like a hey, you said this thing,
and now you're saying this thing. It seems like this
is a powdern of you continuously switching up rules or

(01:02:16):
reasoning of rules, and it's I.

Speaker 4 (01:02:19):
Do think that the boyfriend would have to do that
for sure. Yeah, just because her place in the house is.

Speaker 6 (01:02:23):
So not respected, well not respected, but it's just.

Speaker 4 (01:02:27):
So precarious, like she could get kicked.

Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
Out and she would have nowhere to go for sure.

Speaker 6 (01:02:31):
Just to reiterate, like the birth control thing was like
possibly the biggest overreach. So yeah, the body that was
wild now making an in person schedule for her. Yeah,
it feels like it's getting more and more as she
gets older, which is interesting.

Speaker 4 (01:02:45):
Well yeah, yeah, you would think that before anyone says anything.
I understand their house, their rules. The rules wouldn't have
been a big deal to me if they had just
communicated their true intentions behind the rule instead of giving
us one reason and changing it or claiming they never
made it halfway through, like advice on how to handle
my feelings on all this. If I'm wrong for being upset,
and that is the end. But you are not wrong

(01:03:06):
for being upset.

Speaker 6 (01:03:08):
You're not the ahole. No, And yet at the same
time I think that there is I think the next
step possibly would be for your boyfriend to talk to
his parents see if there's even possibility, if they're even
open to being logical and compassionate around this and willing
to be you know, less volatile and less controlling, and

(01:03:29):
then go from there. Hopefully they are willing. If it's
brought up in a way that's like non blaming. Yeah,
and if not, maybe like it's come to a point where, like,
if it's possible to find another circumstance.

Speaker 4 (01:03:43):
I do think the best solution is to whenever you
can move out with your boyfriend.

Speaker 6 (01:03:48):
And that's not easy, but if that's possible, it might
need to be the steps might need to be made
towards that.

Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
Hey's John, your og host. Here.

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a
quick three minute break of ASTHM form or sponsors.

Speaker 6 (01:04:01):
My parents are tearing down my childhood tree house. I
feel like I'm losing a piece of my soul.

Speaker 4 (01:04:07):
Tear them down.

Speaker 6 (01:04:08):
So background on my childhood. My parents ran a business
together and constantly fought. I mean constantly. The fights would
sometimes devolve into physical altercations that were terrifying to me.
I was an only child, so I think I'm the
only person in the world besides them who knows how
bad it actually got. To the outside world. We were
a very normal family. When I was six, my grandpa

(01:04:29):
asked me what I wanted for my birthday, even though
I knew I wanted to escape, so I said a
tree house by the way. This comes from you, Jenny
Jeans on the r okay Storytime subreddit. So I helped
my grandpa with every single nail in that place, and
it became my literal sanctuary when there was utter chaos
in my house. I was in there when it was
one hundred degrees outside. I was in there when it

(01:04:49):
was below freezing. I painted it every year, decorated it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:53):
I treated it like it was.

Speaker 6 (01:04:53):
Almost a religious retreat for me. I came home every
summer from college and cleaned, painted, and even slept in
it most of the time. I permanently moved out about
a year ago, but I also had fantasies that I
could someday introduce my kids to my treehouse. Someday in
my ultimate pie in the Sky dreams, I thought about
taking it apart, poured by board, reassembling it in my
own yard. Yesterday, I got an email from my mom

(01:05:17):
that almost has a footnote. She said, very casually, Oh,
me and your father are tearing out that old oak
tree with your ugly tree house and finally putting in
a gazebo with a hot tub.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
Why aren't you excited for us?

Speaker 4 (01:05:33):
This is a classic movie plot, and these are the
evil villains of the movie.

Speaker 6 (01:05:38):
Oh, my parents always denied how much they scared me
when they fought. They also flat out deny that the
fights got as bad as they did. Or they say
that since they found Christ, the fights and altercations have
been forgiven and I should forgive them too. But I
just can't forget, and now threatening to tear down my
special space seems like the ultimate omission that they either

(01:05:58):
don't know don't care how much they tormented me with
their constant battles. I am crushed over this. Apparently it's
coming down Saturday, and I just can't get home to
do anything about it. I asked politely if they could
try to please save the pieces, and my mom said,
we're hiring laborers. I just don't think they'll care enough
to try. Thanks a lot, Mom, Can I do here?

(01:06:20):
I'm so crushed? Is this just a part of growing
up and being an adult that I have to deal with?
Should I pay over twelve one hundred dollars for a
last minute ticket tomorrow and try to save as much
as I can and we have an update?

Speaker 3 (01:06:32):
But what are your thoughts?

Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
I mean, like, what do you do here? When you're
the kid you like this is your parents'.

Speaker 3 (01:06:38):
Tree rally, the troops ray the truth.

Speaker 4 (01:06:40):
I think you tie yourself to the tree and you
don't let them pass. That's my solution.

Speaker 6 (01:06:45):
It seems like OP is not really expressing any of
these things. I think there's room here for OP to
be maybe a little more real and a little more
vulnerable and share what this represents to them. And maybe
there isn't an option to save the tree, but maybe
there's options to one, you know, dave the pieces, or
to maybe have a little more time or something that

(01:07:08):
would maybe allow or this to not be so full
of full of grief. Yeah, so I hope that there's
a conversation space for a conversation you had or a
hero's journey updates. So en story is I called my
mom to please take several pictures of the treehouse for me,
Sue from several angles, and inside she was so rude

(01:07:28):
and dismissive and said something along the lines of, oh, Jenny,
we don't have time for that, and you can't expect
us to climb up into that piece of junk.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
Oh Jenny, we do not have signs for that, so
we cannot climb up this piece of junk.

Speaker 6 (01:07:41):
I was heartbroken all over it again because she was callous,
the damn French. I decided that the only way I
was going to have any keepstakes was to fly home
and either take pictures myself or save as much as
the wood as I could. I bought a really expensive
last minute ticket home after I'd already paid the ticket
or remember that maybe my neighbor would be willing to
take some pictures from me. They are an elderly couple,

(01:08:02):
but they had almost been like surrogate grandparents when they
were home. They traveled a lot, but mister Smith prided
himself on being in great shape, so I figured it
couldn't hurt to ask him for pictures just in case
I didn't make it home in time. To say. It
was an odd conversation. I'll just type it out to
the best of my memory. Me. Hi'm missus Smith. It's

(01:08:23):
Jenny from next door. Are you guys in town by chance?
Missus Smith, Jenny from block? It's so good to hear
from you. No, we are at our place in XXXX.
Is there something I could do for you?

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
Is everything okay? Well not really?

Speaker 6 (01:08:33):
My parents are tearing down the oak tree with my
Missus Smith. What they are doing what they are tearing
down that oak tree with my free house.

Speaker 3 (01:08:42):
No, they can't do that. That's our that's our oak tree.
Dust Ah. The Hero's Journey, Yes, we're back on schedule.

Speaker 4 (01:08:53):
Yes, okay, Smith about to save then.

Speaker 6 (01:09:00):
This is the part of the Hero's journey when like
the mentor comes in like the wise wizard.

Speaker 3 (01:09:04):
It is like, actually, I will defend the your tree myself.
A young paddle one.

Speaker 6 (01:09:09):
Yes, well, I think either Friday or Saturday they are
having people over to cut it all down. Jenny, I
need to make some calls.

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
I'm sorry, I need to let you go. I'll try
to call you back. Rallying the troops, I called it
rally the troop called it. So.

Speaker 6 (01:09:23):
I flew home early Friday morning. My parents had hired
some laborers from home Depot, but weren't home. They were
well underway tearing my treehouse.

Speaker 3 (01:09:31):
No.

Speaker 6 (01:09:32):
I approached them and asked if I could pay them
to set aside the boards and metal parts and not
throw them in the dumpster they had brought. They agreed,
and I was able to save almost all the wood
in a very neat pile. I even tried to number
everything so if I ever do get to rebuild it someday.
I know it goes together. It was an ideal, but

(01:09:52):
I feel fortunate that I did get to save most
everything that was sad. All seems lost might be.

Speaker 4 (01:09:59):
It might actually be lost. But the tree with the tree,
the tree is still there. The tree is not gone
quite yet.

Speaker 6 (01:10:05):
And the wood was saved.

Speaker 4 (01:10:06):
Yeah, the wood was saved.

Speaker 6 (01:10:08):
I'd say. At maybe six PM, my parents finally showed up,
and they were as mad as I've ever seen them.
They weren't even happy to see me. When it turns
out the neighbors had their lawyer issued in injunction against
tearing the tree down. I can't even begin to see
how angry my parents were, and they didn't even really
speak to me to tell me what was going on.
So I called mister and missus Smith back. It took

(01:10:28):
until Saturday, but finally called and they told me that
basically there had been a surveying mistake when my parents
had built their house in the eighties, and the tree
had actually been on the Smith's properly the whole time.
They told me they always had an uneasy piece with
my parents over the era, and I never minded having
a treehouse in the tree, but chopping it down was
crossing a major line.

Speaker 4 (01:10:46):
Yes, put your foot down as Missus Smith tree.

Speaker 6 (01:10:50):
They said the tree gave them great shade in the
summer mornings and they could not imagine tearing it down
for any reason. They asked me what my parents' reasons were,
and I told them about the because and he literally
started laughing a ze bo that my parents had the
nerve to knowingly build a gazebo on their property. He
said he'd always planned on legally deaning the property over

(01:11:12):
to my parents, since it's only about eleven foot era
along the entire property. But since he thinks my parents
purposely waited until he and Missus Smith were out of
town that ripped down the tree, he wasn't in any
mood to do them favors. Saturday was awkward and I
spent the night at a friend from high school. This morning,
my dad said he wanted my crap off his property,

(01:11:32):
so I called the Smith's back and they said they
didn't mind if I stored my wood in their barn
as long as I needed got a barn. You want
to store your attention in this show, you can join
us live on YouTube every weekday, at three pm through Facebook, TikTok, Twitch,
and YouTube. The most important want.

Speaker 4 (01:11:53):
What applots to ust. Honestly, I have no like advice
because it seems like it's working out now. This feels
like we've had this whole cinematic aperience and we just
reached the climax and now we're bring to the denoment,
the falling action of this tale.

Speaker 6 (01:12:08):
The resolution is in smelling range.

Speaker 3 (01:12:10):
You get yourself a gazebo and make it out of
the wood on us. Yeah, maybe make it out of
the wood.

Speaker 6 (01:12:17):
My parents went to church and I plan on leaving
without saying goodbye. I had some memorabilia boxes in the attic.
I'm taking them to a friend's house and she's going
to ship them to me, So there's nothing left in
the house for my parents take their anger out on.
I don't know how this will affect our relationship, but
the reality is we haven't had much of one for
a long time. I don't have any attachment to my

(01:12:38):
childhood home anymore, so, at least in the near term,
there's nothing for me to really go home.

Speaker 4 (01:12:44):
And you've got the wood and the tree still around,
you know, there's still a little bit of still a
little bit of sadness about this tree. But I think
in the end, you got some of what you wanted.

Speaker 3 (01:12:53):
You got the wood.

Speaker 4 (01:12:54):
Your parents didn't get any of what they wanted to
that that's a win.

Speaker 6 (01:12:57):
That's great news.

Speaker 4 (01:12:58):
Yeah, win is a win.

Speaker 6 (01:13:00):
It was a w by any other name. It sucks again, Like,
it's not just a treehouse that was sweet to him.
It was it was a sanctuary away from watching the
parents fighting and conflict and physical altercations. Like, I'm sure
that represents so much and it is almost sacred. And

(01:13:20):
to have that torn down, Yeah, it's just so awful.

Speaker 4 (01:13:25):
My mom kicked me out of the house but still
wants me to pay for lawn service.

Speaker 3 (01:13:30):
I ain't paying for crap.

Speaker 4 (01:13:32):
And this is a direct Okay storytime submission.

Speaker 3 (01:13:35):
This is from one of you guys.

Speaker 4 (01:13:37):
Oh, so, my mom and stepdad started divorcing last year. Together.
They owned their house and two rentals. My mom stayed
at the house and stepdad moved to one of the rentals.
To my understanding, stepdad was getting the two rentals and
mom the house in the division of assets once the
divorce was finalized. By the way, this comes from more Anger.

(01:13:57):
Please on the Okay, storytime separate. So last year, at
the end of summer, my best friend, Slash roommate, and
I were told that our landlord was planning on selling
their rental that we lived in, so sometime around the
beginning of next summer. We were already thinking of moving
soonish anyways, since we were both finished with college and
ready for a more adult house, but we still didn't

(01:14:18):
like the idea of looking for a new place since
we were getting a great deal on rent and knew
it would not be like that at a new place.
My mom and stepdad offered their remaining rental at a
discount at the limit of our budget, but would need
us to move in much sooner than we were originally
planning for when their tenant moved out at the beginning
of fall. We jumped at the chance and were excited
to have a bigger place since we were getting a

(01:14:39):
discount on the rent. There was no negotiating Slash offer
to have lawn or any other utilities included, not that
we assumed there would be. We had lawns since we
have lived right next door to our previous landlord and
a super small yard. Neither of us liked doing yard work,
so we were pretty lazy with upkeep and kind of
let it run wild, but we didn't mind the look
of it, and there weren't any city regulations we were violating.

(01:15:00):
This was a concern brought up in case we were fine,
so we looked it up. We were planning on living
there for at least a couple of years and would
obviously deal with the lawn at some point when we
were ready to move. Also, to note, we didn't sign
a lease or pay a deposit. We had agreed verbally
that we'd be totally willing and kind of expected at
least a deposit, but my stepdad had never gotten around
to it. But again, we were planning on being here

(01:15:21):
for a long time, so we weren't concerned. Then, not
even a full two months ago, my mom texts me
that she might be selling her house and was looking
at her new living options because her current house was
too expensive. We had talked about her keeping the house
and her and stepdad's asset division before we moved in,
so that this wouldn't happen. Then, a week after the text,
which again was very nondescript and not final, we were

(01:15:42):
having family dinner and she said that we needed to
move out of our house once she sells hers. Obviously,
best friend and I were upset, but I was trying
to be understanding of the situation. But we had talked
about this last year before we moved in, so that
this situation could be avoided. It hasn't even been a
year since we moved in either, so best friends and
I frantically looked for a new place to live since

(01:16:02):
we had no real timeline when her house would sell
and we need to leave. We found a place and
moved within a month of finding out we were being
kicked out, so we weren't able to give a thirty
day notice. Well you didn't really get a thirty day notice.
You just gotta you gotta leave. At the same time,
we hadn't been living there a full year and we
were told we needed to get out soon anyway. Both
mom and stepdad were out of town the weekend we moved,

(01:16:25):
so we cleaned the place and left the spare key.
Both mom and stepdad were out of town the weekend
we moved, so we cleaned the place and left the
spare key, assuming we'd drop off our keys later, and
I texted them that it was all theirs now. Then
they text me back to back about how we should
pay for the yard service since we never got around
to mowing and cleaning service because it was common courtesy

(01:16:45):
and they had been doing us a favor by discounting
rent until then. Now this pissed me off. They kick
us out and then want us to pay for maintenance
since we didn't pay a deposit, but it was their
decision to not make us pay one we were ready
and willing to, and that all of a sudden they asked, like,
our relationship is that of regular landlords and tenants and
holding discounted rent over our heads to guilt us into

(01:17:06):
doing whatever for them. I told them that we wouldn't
pay for lawn service and it was perfectly clean inside otherwise.
My mom then texts me, calling me untitled, unempathetic, and disappointing.
I've been super helpful and understanding throughout their whole divorce,
and I was legitimately depressed because of it, and I've
kept a level head the whole time we were being
kicked out of her home. I didn't expect them to

(01:17:26):
rent us their rental when we started looking last year.
It was just super nice. The timing and budget worked,
and besides the yard, we took good care of the place.
I'm not understanding where I'm being entitled. I don't understand
why my mom is making everything so transactional now, like
she does something for me, so I have to do
what she wants to pay her back. Is that not entitled?
I'm frustrated by her lack of long term planning and

(01:17:48):
how it's affecting my living situation and my life so heavily. Yeah,
I mean, she's expecting this kind of landlord treatment or
at least like renterer treatment from you guys, but is
not giving that same landlord courtesy back. It would just
be a lot more formal with an actual landlord, and
she's trying to impose that formality, but also you know,
kicking them out with very little notice, and so it's yeah,

(01:18:11):
it's kind of weird.

Speaker 6 (01:18:12):
The short noticing is interesting. I'm curious. I want more
context for that. And then there's like other kind of
interesting things because it's like family. I don't think it's
that unreasonable to ask for them to pay for yard service. Yeah,
I don't know if it's like OP is making the
assumption they're holding it over our head because we didn't

(01:18:34):
pay the deposit and that and like other things there.
But I don't know if that's necessarily true. I think
it's just common courtesy. If you're living somewhere, it's your
decision to take care of the lawn. But if not in,
the lawn needs to be taken care of when you
move out. That's kind of like what you pay for. Yeah,
and like the house, if it's unclean, you pay for that.

(01:18:54):
And sure that's like a standard you know, landlord, non
family agreement. But I also think with family that's still
common courtesy, and the fact that like they're upset that
their mom would dare ask for that is a little
confusing to me.

Speaker 4 (01:19:07):
I think that next time, if you ever have to,
like you know, live in a family member's home or
something and there's some sort of rental agreement, there just
needs to be a lot more like you have to
go through it a lot more formally so that you
each you know, you both know what the expectations are.

Speaker 6 (01:19:22):
Do you think it's unreasonable to ask, like, hey, the
yard's a mess, can you can you fix that?

Speaker 4 (01:19:27):
People that we don't have to the only reason, Yeah,
I do kind of agree on that part because OPI said, oh,
like we would they were going to clean up the yard,
but then didn't because they got pushed out quickly. But
I do think that there's just a lot of you know,
like disrespect on the parents side as well, in terms
of just pushing them out, because that's I mean, that

(01:19:48):
was pretty out of nowhere when they they were it
seems like Ope and her friend were under the impression
that they would be there for years.

Speaker 6 (01:19:53):
Yeah, and we're there for like half year, I think,
to say like you need to do this, and then
if they don't, and then holding the money over to
like insult them and saying like, oh, you're so this
and this and this, rather than like having an adult
conversation of like, hey, look like this is why we
think you should and like we would like you to
do this.

Speaker 4 (01:20:12):
Yeah. I feel like you could just say I feel
like the parents could have just said, hey, could you
help us clean up the yard? Could you mean to
help us? Like I know we had talked about you
guys maintaining the yard. Do you mind you know, doing
that before you move out? Sorry for the yeah, But
there was just a lot of lack of communication, I think,
and also usually I think when you move out of
a house for cleaning services, that's not usually tied with

(01:20:33):
a deposit. Those are two separate things.

Speaker 6 (01:20:34):
Actually, no, it's it is tied to the deposit, not
or at.

Speaker 4 (01:20:37):
Least in the last place that I went to wasn't
tied it was. There was a cleaning fee and then
there was a deposit.

Speaker 6 (01:20:45):
Yeah, but if there needs to be a cleaning fee,
that's taken out of the deposit.

Speaker 4 (01:20:48):
I believe hmmm, there was a separate thing.

Speaker 6 (01:20:51):
Yeah, Okay, I think that it's totally we'll get back
to the store. But I think it's totally reasonable to
expect them to take care of the lawn. And I
think it could have been communicating it in a different way.

Speaker 4 (01:21:01):
Yeah, I think so too. But her situation does not
mean that I need to help her in every which way,
even at the detriment to my livelihood. I've been helpful
when I can be and never expected anything in return
because she's my mom and family. But now I'm entitled
if I don't do one thing to help her out.
By the way, you can help us out by joining
us live every weekday at three pm PSD on YouTube, Facebook,

(01:21:22):
and TikTok but there is a little bit left to.

Speaker 6 (01:21:24):
This story, but in some sense there weren't. In that
they said they would pay for the yard at some point,
and then when the parents were expecting that to be fulfilled,
oh Pie said, how dare you, yeah, ask for this
thing that I said I was going to do.

Speaker 4 (01:21:39):
Yeah, I am wondering why, why, Like I, was the
switch up only because of the you know, the fact
that your mom and stepdad just kind of randomly pushed
you out or was you know, what was the original plan.
I'm taking a break from them and limiting contact because
of how everything has been handled in regards to me.
But I'm still overthinking every interaction we've had the past
two I'll add even more background context, but this already

(01:22:03):
seems so long. I just want some outside perspective because
my friends are obviously siding with me, and so are
best friends' parents. But did I overreact? I think at
the end of the day, I think it's very unreasonable
for your parents to push you out without having a
proper conversation about, you know, when you need to be out,
because it seems like they never clarified that.

Speaker 6 (01:22:24):
I agree, unless it was an emergency, which is unclear.

Speaker 4 (01:22:27):
Which we don't know. It doesn't seem like Opee was
told that, which again goes back to the.

Speaker 6 (01:22:31):
They didn't really give a reason. No, op didn't give
a reason.

Speaker 4 (01:22:35):
Which maybe Ope was never told the.

Speaker 6 (01:22:36):
Reason maybe or maybe you didn't include that.

Speaker 4 (01:22:39):
Yeah, but I do think paying for lawn service is
fair or is a fair ask on their end. I
think it's very fair, only because you also said that
you were going to do that.

Speaker 6 (01:22:50):
Whether it's family or not, like a like a normal landlord,
I think it's still just decency. You leave the house
in wonderful condition. If there was upkeep that needed to happen,
and if there was maintenance and that didn't happen because
of you, it's it's decent.

Speaker 3 (01:23:04):
It's the law to do it.

Speaker 6 (01:23:06):
If not, if it's family, I think it's just decency
of like, yeah, I'm going to, you know, put this
in the condition I got it in.

Speaker 3 (01:23:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:23:14):
That was the end of that story. Actually there's no
more to that story. And that was the end of
this episode. Oh yes, So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe and s

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