I caught my fiancé MOCKING me with his ex-girlfriend… now he wants forgiveness! | Reddit Stories | EP2105 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Cowboy Sam and this is Eh John.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
And we've lastowed in some amazing stories for y'all the
Okay Storytime podcasts.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
But before that, we got a wrangle, a quick little
two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
We bucking love so much they're paying us the books
to help this show stay alive. I caught my fiance
mocking me with his ex girlfriend. Now he wants forgiveness.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Not funny.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
My fiance Dale and I have been together for five years.
We are as solid as I guess anyone that thinks
they are before something like this blind sides them.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Uh Oh.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
I am in total and complete shock. I am just
sitting here shaking. I can't even cry yet.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
This is sad.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
By the way, this comes from deleted. If you wanted
some meet your own stories, go to our slash Okay Storytime.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
So how about it?

Speaker 2 (00:51):
So Dale is at work right now. I haven't texted
him or called him or anything. At this point, when
we got together, he had just broken up with his
college sweetheart, just like how, just like.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Weeks, days, minutes seconds, she.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Was his first love. I was afraid I was a rebound.
I think I would be afraid to I think it
would be afraid to. He said that wasn't true. I
believed him. Your first mistake. The rest is history. Sorry, sorry, op,
this is this sucks. Sorry if this is Russian all
over the place. Nothing makes sense in my head right now.
I used his laptop about two hours ago to open

(01:29):
his contacts lists he has saved on there so I
could get addresses for our wedding invites, our wedding invites.
They're about to get married. Oh boy, I've been telling
him to get those over to me for over a week,
so I decided to do it. He keeps his contact
info in his email. When I opened his email, I

(01:50):
saw an email at the very top of its inbox
with the subject line re Jen not real name? How
can I when the subject line got caught up after
that so I couldn't see more without clicking. Jen is
the name of his X from college. I'm gonna pause
right here to snoop or not to snoop, to snoop

(02:11):
or not to stoop. But you know we have a
rule we do on Okay, storytime, John, if you want
to tell him the rule.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
If it, if it comes up, if you see it
naturally organically through no fault of your own.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Okay, yeah you can. You can. You can say probable cause.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
You knowable cause if if the police are are seeing
some uh some substances, you know, beaking through the door,
then they have probable cause to go through and be like, hey,
what is that? What is that illegal substance in there?
You know, I'm carrying a pazuka. You can come up
and I can go yeah, yeah, is that a real bozuk?
That looks like a real Bozuka.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
We got to figure it out.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
I feel this falls under the probable cause scenario.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
I think so. I think so she saw. I mean,
what a what a what a great title. You know,
that's something you have to click on. The rate is
off off the hopefully it's clickbait. Hopefully it's clickbait. And
Jen is his insurance agent or something, you know. But
I sat there for ten minutes trying to decide if
I should open it or not snoop or not to snoop,

(03:11):
that is the question. I decided he should have nothing
to hide, so I did it click Snoop. I think
we're kind of I think we're okay.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
We are in safe territory.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
I think we're in safe because of the context of
you know, probable cost yep.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
The rest of the subject line was Jen, how can
I when you still exist? Now I want to read more?
Oh God, do you still exist? The email was her
replying to a string of emails between the two of
them that has gone on for over a week. Long
story short, Dale is still in love with Jen oo

(03:53):
oh baby, he's you know, sending his love letters in
between his wedding invites. Why why why get to the
point of wedding invites? Man, Man is getting cold feet
and are running all the way back to his ex
with them.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
He is, he is marathon sprinting with ice blocks right now.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
He'll never find he said, he thinks about her constantly,
that he'll never find another woman like her. He even worse, John, John, John, John, No,
this is already bad. No, but it can't. It gets worse,
It gets worse, even worse.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
I don't believe it. I believe it.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Believe it, John, That's gonna be like an ice blot
going through your head right now.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
I can't, I can't accept it.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Even worse is that he makes fun of me, makes
fun of me, and she laughs about it. Given those
ha ha haas lo o ls over email. In one email,
he asked him why I don't make him happy? And

(05:03):
isn't he satisfied with me? I can't remember word for
word and I don't feel like reading it again, but
he said something like she tries, She's just not good though.
Way to vanilla? Oh oh buddy, I love vanilla. Vanilla

(05:25):
is my favorite, my favorite ice cream flavor. Stop really
that and goat cheese pear?

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Why is that the most sam sam thing you've ever said?

Speaker 1 (05:39):
It's your life.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Blue cheese and blue goat cheese.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Pair?

Speaker 3 (05:43):
There we go, blue goat cheese. That's that's it was
now it's at.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
So good If anyone hasn't had blue goat cheese pair
ice cream?

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Wow, I this guy.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
If you don't want to be with someone, tell all
of them, communicate early and often. Why why are you
hiding this? It seems like the love of your life
it wants you. So just just run run over with
your ice blocks over there and tell this could have
all been avoided. This could have all been could have

(06:18):
been avoided, and you could have you could have been
you could have been in the moral clear, you know, yes,
and the relationship then pursue you know, your your childhood.
Sweetearn't hey that happens. You know, I'm not gonna I'm
not gonna pooh pooh. You realize in and that your
love of your life was passing you. But you know,
but as long as you're like communicating about this, these
realizations in real time. But this, but what you have

(06:41):
done bad, that's bad. But not do what we just said.
You did not do that.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
You did not do that.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
You are in the moral wrong. You have been designated
the stinkiest of men. Your stench travels far and wide,
as far as maybe you're running with those ice blocks.
So I love her, but the only way I can
get off. Oh whoa, oh, we're getting We're gonna a
little spicy right now. I love her, but the only

(07:08):
way Oh no, oh no, but I see you with
the chat if you know what's coming. Oh I didn't
even I swear I didn't read the rest. But oh
my god, oh my god. Okay, okay, okay, okay, all right.
Let me let me, let me, let me let me
buckle in, buckle in, buckle in.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
All right.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
I feel like I'm on like a I'm going on
the top of the roller course.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
We're about to go down.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
We're about to go deep, deep down. I love her.
Oh it starts out sweet, but the only way I
could get off is when I think about fing you
and how wet you'd get. How did this speak turn

(07:50):
into it? Oh God, I think it goes on.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
We're not done.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
And again, hope he is is not quoting this is
This is not verbatim. This is as best as you
can remember it. It seems like she remembers a lot.
I think every inch of my bed, probably speaking in
square inches surface area, was soaked from your kiddie. I

(08:21):
have the biggest heart on just thinking about it. All right,
This guy is always.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
He's a romance, you know, like I love.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
A slipping slide, just like every other guy. But I
don't know if I want to be I don't want
like the water bed to be on top of the bed,
you know, I don't want leaks. I like, I like
a little leakage is fine, but every square inch of

(08:55):
the bed.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
What I'm gonna be honest today, boys, I was.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
I did not wake up and drive into the office
today prepared to have this conversation with you.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
I I honestly, my spirit was not ready for that
to day.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Hey, you know what, get ready wet and wild today.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
We're gonna wet and wild.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
Every inch of the bed. You gotta get a new
mattress every time.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Dude, cat, dude, you gotta air that air that you
gotta put your your mattress in the dryer.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
I'm just saying washing machines exist.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
Don said, I want that slipping slide. That slipping slide
is mine.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Uh m boom, sue them boom.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Anyway, we got we got more. We're not We're not done.
We're not done, all right, So I want we just
heard poetry come out of Dale's mouth right now.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
I think we can.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
All poetry every square inch wet and wild. What poetry
doth return from the mouth of Jen? What poetry? I'm
sure she will be as verbose. She answered with a

(10:09):
bunch of holes and said she felt sorry for the
poor girl.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
All right.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Again, this is terrible, but that is the most vanilla
answer I've ever heard. Man gives some Walt Whitman poetry
up in this email chat, and she just says, loll.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
I think OPI's trading uh premium vanilla bean for great
value vanilla.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
That's what I'm not going.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yeah that OPI is that that premium bean. Yep, premium bean,
the most most most premium bean.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
So bad. Uh.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, I feel like this this if anything, this person
seems vanilla with that kind of response.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, I will.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
The one thing I'll say is at least she didn't
pile on onto her and at least she was like
not not that, by the way, that's not like, oh
she's good.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
No, no, no, this is still horrible.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
But I'm at least glad for ope that she didn't
have to read anything more.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, full than that. That's good after going through that's good.
That's a message.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Well.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Another thing he said, oh, was that he made fun
of me for having a large scar across my chest
onto my left front airbag, which had disfigured the nipple
a bit. H. I think that's cute. It's like your
nipples winking at me.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
That's that's yes, there we go.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
It's like a little little like boop. Yeah, that's cute.
That's cute.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
I love What do you love? Sam? Wait, wait, tell
me tell me what you love. You know, like.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
A disfigured nip sounds sounds cute? Yeah, sexy, sexy sex unique, unique.
You know, I don't. I don't want my nips vanilla.
I want them a little, a little different.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Throw a little mixing, throw a little mix in there.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Remember a little week, a little spice. Yeah, exactly, something
to remember them by. You know, you see, you see
a thousand nips. I haven't seen a thousand Nips video coming,
but you see, you know, like like they might all
blend together, but this nip, this nip is different. Yes, yes, so,

(12:38):
I just I'm just looking at Opie and she's seeming
less vanilla by the day. Well, he said, it looked
like something out of Edward Scissorhands. That is a great movie.
That is a great movie. I mean, I haven't seen it.

(12:58):
What artful, a little funky but beautiful pulls at your
heart strings. Sounds like a compliment to me.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Dude, you are You're you're doing some some wordsmithing right now.
Edward scissor Hands is great.

Speaker 4 (13:14):
You should try that out on someone.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Yeah, there we.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Go, girl, Your peoples look like Edwardsands.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
It's the greatest. It's one of the greatest movies ever made. Yeah,
hey it is. It is.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Shout out who's in that movie? Tim Burton, Johnny Depp,
Tim Burton, Johnny Depp. That is almost too much to bear.
He might as well have all one tued me in
the gut. I was in an awful car accident when
I was a teenager. I had a big piece of
dashboard shatter and basically fly into my chest. I almost

(13:46):
passed away. I've never been ashamed of that scar as
you should not be. It's like a constant reminder that
I survived something a lot of people don't, and I
should be grateful to be alive. Memento Morda or what
memento moray so you can carpet those dm mm hmm,
there you go. The slight disfigurement of the nipple doesn't

(14:09):
bother me either. I've always had the attitude if someone
doesn't want me because of a nipple FM or don't them.
But to hear him make fun of something he knows
is the result of something so major in my life.
My friend was thrown from the brack seat and lost
her life is just I have no words.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
I don't know if there's any uh yeah, I mean
the Dale has done so many things that you can't
come back from already, but he's just he's he's about
to win the world record of things you can't come
back from, just like, oh yeah, stacking on Olympic Olympic
levels of things you can't come back from.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Yeah, this is this is pretty this is pretty bad.
I feel like we've we've sealed his fate. Oh yeah,
dld r bot, what's going on?

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Uh? Does it work out? Huh? Is it Bobby bot?

Speaker 2 (15:02):
Now? Bobby bot? Can you give me a summary?

Speaker 4 (15:06):
I can't because I did it started. Give me two minutes.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
All right, we're calling it Bobby bot, Bobby bot, Bobby boat?
Is that fun to say?

Speaker 1 (15:15):
Fun?

Speaker 4 (15:17):
Sometimes he thinks you say Bobby butt, so you have
to like really get the tea Bobby bot.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yep, Well can we just say bobby bobby? I like
that as long as the story.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
I don't know if we've ever had a story that
has had bobbyobby Bobby bots.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
The emails go on. Some are explicit. One she describes
how she just one hand clapped while thinking about he
used to go down on her four hours. I'm assuming
that these emails are just a small portion of their contact.
The first email on the thread was Dale talking about

(15:56):
how he doesn't think he can marry me, and he
thinks about leaving me almost content then freaking do it
not up but of dropping nuts. He said if she
lived in his state, he'd had already left me.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
Move.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
It didn't sound like the first time they'd reconnected. So
I'm guessing if I snooped, i'd find text too. I
don't need to snoop further. I've seen all I need to. Obviously,
I'm not gonna stay. Despite what he said about me,
I'm pretty great, and I know this. He said he

(16:32):
misses back door.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yep, there we go.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
We got that comprehension right there, that back door. He
misses the old devil's meat cave.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Same your daughter calls it. I call it the lord's
meat cave.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
Lord, that's what those those prudes call it. But yeah,
shout out to Catholics, right, Catholic that's the that's that's
ye emphasis on the whole.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Apparently I'm too vanilla to give it to him. The
thing is, I've tried to initiate that. All Right, we're
going into the butt play, Bobby, But what's going on? Boy,
I've tried to initiate that as I enjoy it. And
he told me he wasn't into that, So now who's

(17:26):
the booty prude today? So he lied just to cast
me in a bad light. So I'm so effing mad
and I just want to throw this crap into a
pile and light it on fire. But I won't because
I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing
how much he hurt me. I'm not sure why I

(17:48):
posted here. It's too fresh to talk to my friends
and families. Should I just pack my stuff and leave
with no explanation? Should I just ghost? I've got too
much dignity to scream and cry in front of him.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if
I want comfort or advice or what. I just need
someone to know what happened so I don't feel so
alone right now. And there is an update? Oh god,

(18:10):
there is a thick, juicy update. But John, yes, sir,
my guy, Yep. What do we think op should do here?

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (18:21):
Well, it sounds like she wants to share it with someone,
which also great that she already you know, did it here,
I guess with thousands of Internet strangers and us. Uh,
but I would say, like, hey, who is a person
that you can talk to that sounds like something that
is probably going to be therapeutic and maybe help her
think through everything that's going on. And then two, I think, uh,

(18:42):
maybe instead of like packing up everything right now, just
like can we get like a hotel or something like
just just like get It sounds like she which very
understandably doesn't want to be around him right now and
kind of needs a little bit of space to kind
of like figure out what that next step is because
she's kind of like up in the air. I think
that is maybe good. Remove remove yourself so you don't

(19:04):
have to like face him, because that sounds.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
Like, you know, like terrible, terrible.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
She doesn't want to, you know, do this whole thing
of breaking down and everything. Like give yourself a little space,
and I feel like that the next answers will probably
come to you more clearly.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, this is a lot.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, I don't think you want to process all of
this in while he's there. Yeah. And the fact, I
mean like they live together, so it's like, yeah, I
think space process, get a friend to maybe process with you,
and then go to him and say, hey, is what
I want to do. I would even say like, hey,
something came up, I need a little. I need to

(19:43):
go to a friend's house for a few days.

Speaker 1 (19:46):
Yeah you assume, Yeah, buy yourself some time with that.

Speaker 3 (19:49):
Have a therapist or you know, can run around and
find one, So knock out some doors, chat ask chat.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Chat chat man, chat chat chat, GPT. Your emotional therapist
just doesn't replace therapy. But hey in a pickle, good
help there you go, good help. But we got an
update John. Last night I texted Dale and told him
that my best friend Jake had got into a fight
with his boyfriend. Oh the cover story, the cover story,

(20:18):
and I was going to stay with him. We could
vent and have somebody with him. I told Jake what
happened and showed him the emails. I took pictures of
them on my phone in case I needed them for
whatever reason. Receipts, receipts very importants. Jake and his boyfriend Mike,
who had obviously not gotten into a fight, was there

(20:40):
and they were infuriated, and we were all sorts of
crying together for a while. They stayed with me almost
all night, helping me figure out my next moves. We
all agreed they're taking the high road was the best route,
as the usually is shout out. Oh pee for taking
the high road, even though they absolute meat grinder of

(21:03):
a poop head. Dale, Yeah, gottam gott hm did not
do you the same? Hey, when did they go lo?

Speaker 1 (21:15):
You go high?

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Best revenge is living your best life? Oh amen, brother,
talk about a men, brother. But we got a little
bit more. So we had a lot more. We're only
like a quarter of the way through. This is this
is uh, there's a lot here. They stayed up with
me almost all night to figure out the next week
we all agreed that taking the high road is the

(21:36):
best route. We made a list of all things that
were necessary to get out of the apartment. Mike is
a property manager for a different apartment complex, so this
morning he called my property manager and gave her a
very condensed, detail free version of what was happening. I've
always thought it important to get to know your property
manager in case you ever have a situation where they
can help you out. So she really so she always

(22:00):
really like me. Dale and I have been paying rent
on a month to month basis for about three months
because we were starting to look for other houses to
purchase after we settled down after the wedding. Thank god,
he didn't purchase that. My property manager told Mike that
working out. My property manager told Mike that we're working

(22:21):
out getting my name off the rental agreement and that
wouldn't be a problem, and to not worry about the
thirty day notice that she typically requires for a tenant
moving out. As far as finances go, I make about
seventy percent of our combined income and Dale only covers
thirty percent. Poor When Jake, Mike and I were discussing

(22:42):
the logistics of me moving out, Mike brought up the
point that Dale does not make enough to cover the
required three x rents in income each month, meaning he
will most likely be given notice to move out if
he cannot find a roommate fast. We lived in a
one bedroom, so I doubt will be able to find

(23:02):
someone quickly who was willing to sleep on a couch
versus having their own bedroom.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
And you know, you know what's so beautiful about this?
This is not a intentional, you know, devilishly scheming revenge.
This is OP making the best decision for herself and
letting the cards fall where.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
They will aimmen. Amen, Yeah, sweet memory, says bumbled the bag.
My guy aldouser says, damn LFGOP seventy percent income. Dale
wanted a sugar mama. That's why he stayed. Maybe that's true.
Maybe that's true. He's losing his sugar mama, especially since
I purchased the couch. Uh so there isn't even one

(23:42):
there anymore. The thought of this brings me great slasher
as I'm sure you can imagine. Jake and I each
called out of work today and we rented one of
those mover pickup trucks. We were pretty organized after making
our list, and it only took us a couple of
trips to get my stuff out and into Jake and
Mike's garage. For the time I'm being Dale texted me
a couple of times asking how Jake is and if

(24:04):
I'm coming home after work tonight. I told him I'm
already home, not exactly a lie. I was there at
the time, and then I said Jake was going to
be okay. And then I just couldn't believe how awful
people can be to the people they love. Oh oh, oh,
it's coming, It's come.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
I'm ready for it.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Dale agreed, so funny Dale and said that he was
glad he has such a good girl like me. It
was tempting to say something about how yeah, I'm just
so vanilla that way, but I didn't. Ah. I just
told him to always remember that, how great I always

(24:46):
remember that.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
I just told him to always remember that how great
I am to him. He said, of course he would.
That felt pretty satisfying, and I hope he does remember
that every day for the rest of his life. Whoever
it was that posted about vanilla ice cream idea, Jake,
Mike and I laughed about that hysterically last night. It
was the first thing that made me laugh like that,

(25:08):
and maybe the only thing for a while. To thank
you for that. I'm thinking, I don't know what that
comment was, but I'm thinking it's just leaving a giant
tub of vanilla ice cream in the house, kind of
like that. Yeah, just no doubt, just vanilla ice cream.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
I didn't end up ruining any of Dale's stuff. I
didn't print out emails and send them to his family
or friends. I didn't do anything destructive or spiteful. However,
after all my stuff was out, Jake and I made
a trip to the grocery store. Okay, so Opie has
gotten to stuff out. But again, Dale does not know yet. Nope,
Dale is completely in the dark. I'm curious. How do

(25:45):
you think Dale is going to react?

Speaker 3 (25:48):
I think I think the second he realizes, he is
going to see just how ft he actually is. Oh yeah,
he doesn't have the money to cover the rest. Oh yeah,
he's is you know, gonna have like he was thinking
about getting a house, doing all these things, and you
know what, that's probably just the tip of the iceberg
of what op he was providing in this relationship. So

(26:10):
he's gonna realize, Oh, I'm absolutely uh screwed. And remember
that saying we always say that, everyone always says you lose.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
Them, how you get them.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
I'm wondering what's gonna happen with Dale and little Miss
Booth sang in the future.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
I mean, there's a reason they're not together. I mean, like,
like you know, I I don't think there. I think
it's just the the the fantasy of them being together
that they're they're enjoying, and uh, I don't think there's
actually anything there.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah, the fact that it's like wrong for them, very
wrong for them to be doing that, and it's like, yeah,
that ain's something to build relationships.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
No, so ah, oh boy, strap. It gets booty, you know,
all right, if you're sitting down, scoosh that boody around,
you know, get some blood flowing in the booty because
we're gonna spit. We're sitting into this store. It's a
lot of motion, my brother, that booty. You're you're reenacting, okay,

(27:14):
are your booties ready?

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Your butt's ready? Oh yeah?

Speaker 2 (27:18):
Is your mind ready open? Are your eyes ready to
see what freaking's gonna happen next? Because it is gonna
be insane. Dale's about to find out. I'm ready, all right.
So I didn't do anything destructive. We're spiteful. However, after
all my stuff was out, Jake and I made a
trip to the grocery store. I took the posters advice

(27:40):
and brought one of those big plastic tubs of vanilla
ice cream. Remember, Dale was like, oh, she's too vanilla
for me, Jen you're spicy.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
I like you more.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
And I left it on the counter with a note
and my engagement ring, and I wrote, I know vanilla
isn't your favorite flavor, but this is the only vanilla
you'll be eating from now on.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
XO XO. And you know.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
Why that's so clapworthy? She's not going crazy and like
like trying to. She's not bringing herself to a negative space. Nope,
she is simply and clearly pointing out the hypocrisy and
laying it out for him.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
And it's just so witty and clever and hilarious.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Also it's perfect, it's poetic, it's perfect, it's beautiful. So
I mean, I am human. I had to leave him
with a little bit of a bang. So here I
am staying with Mike and Jake for a while. You
might think this story is over. We got a little
bit more, but oh yeah, John, we're barely halfway done.

(28:49):
Oh god, we're not even halfway done. In fact, we
got so much juice left to squeeze. Again.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Dale does not know yet.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Nope. I have no idea how he's going to react.
And I think it's gonna be juicy, gonna be great.
It's gonna be juicy. Finding an apartment will be no
issue for me. I am comfortable financially on my own
with a stable job. I have to deal with deposits
I put down for the venues for both the wedding
and the reception, and I can't right now. I'm too
much of a mess. Emotionally. I will be by the

(29:21):
week's ends, though as I know, I can't put it
off any longer if there's any hope at all of
getting refunded. I had already booked our honeymoon, but I
did pay the extra for insurance in case the trip
needed to be canceled. I honestly don't really know what
exactly the insurance covers. I'll have to look into it
whether or not I can get a refund on Dale's tickets.

(29:42):
I will be going on my first trip out of
the country on my own, and I am happy about this.
It's the one bright thing to look forward to through
this whole mess. I will sell my wedding dress, which
was a low cut dress by the way, and showed
off my scar as much as a wedding dress can.
Dale would have found that gross. Well, we find Dale gross. Yeah,

(30:05):
I want I want to see that.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
That sounds weird that I want you. I want I
want you to show the world.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Including us, your winking nipple because we have solidarity with you.
That's all right, solidary solidarity. Or maybe I'll burn it.
Burning it sounds kind of fun because I've been holding
back so much on not being destructive in a time
where I would have found great, albeit temporary pleasure in
burning everything Dale I'd ever owned. Yeah, burning my dress

(30:37):
is something I can do privately that will still be satisfying.
It can scream and cry and throw rocks at it
or lighter fluid over it, watch it burn, and then
cook a smore over it, because I love somemore, So
why not. I'm walking away from Dale with my head
held high. The best revenge is to walk away as
dignified as possible and to not sink to his level.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
Aimen, Hey men, that's it right there.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
I was close with his family, but I'm not going
to worry about what he tells them. I am positive
it won't be the truth. There's no way he's got
the balls and decency to tell them what he did.
But I know what he did. He knows what he did,
and all the people who truly love me and who

(31:21):
I am close with will all know what he did.
That's all that really matters. Though it's nice to have
those emails just in case Dale tries to take things
too far or something. I'm going to be okay, I'm
having one of those empowered moments that I just spent
the last hour in the bathtub sobbing again. We have
an update coming, so stay tuned, buckle in. Like I said, waves,

(31:45):
Jake told me that Dale isn't worthy of my quirky nipple,
and I agree. When I got in my accident, I
was lucky that the shrapnel didn't pierce my heart. I did, however,
suffer from a pretty significant heart contusion, basically a bruised heart,
among other injuries. It was the most pain thing I've
ever experienced. So yeah, this situation makes my head hurt,
but my heart has been through a whole much worse.

(32:07):
But my heart has been through much worse and kept
on ticking all along. Sorry if I rambled lot. Posting
this to you all is like a form of therapy,
and the more thoughts that pop in my mind, I'll
just write them down for you all to read. I
haven't told my family and other friends yet again, Well,
Dale doesn't know. I'll be tackling that soon. I'm glad

(32:28):
the invites hadn't already been sent. At least I don't
have to send out a cancelation notice. I deleted Dale
off all social media and blocked his email address. I
didn't block him off my phone yet, because honestly, I'm
curious about his reaction. I can promise you all that
I will not respond at all, not to a single text,

(32:48):
not to a single call, but I can't help but
be interested to see how it reacts. I will block
him tomorrow, though Mike told me that the second his
messages turn ugly or hateful because I'm not responding, block him.
He doesn't want Dale to hurt me anymore than he
already has. He's right, and I really do plan on
blocking him regardless by tomorrow. After seeing his initial reaction,

(33:12):
I guess that's all I have to update. Thank you
all for caring about me. I will continue moving forward
and I will never stop wearing clothes that show my scar.
I've never hidden it before and I'm not going to
let some a hole make me feel like I should.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for
your love. You gave amazing comments and messages, and I
will never forget the nice things you all have said
to me. Seriously, thank you. And PS, I think I

(33:34):
will dress up as Edward Scissorhands for Halloween. And John, Yes,
we have another update, but John, before we into that update,
I guess we don't. I mean, like, do you do
you think he'll get it? Like, do you think he'll
he'll he can get it through his pea brain about

(33:56):
this vanilla reference. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
I mean one thing I was thinking is, like, you know,
and often on the show, like Opie should low key
be a mascot for this show because she has exemplified
all of like the core tenants and principles that we
always talk about.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
So just shout out O P for that.

Speaker 3 (34:11):
But I was almost like, will he get even even
if he doesn't, like even if he gets like the
big picture, will he get the full totality of everything
that this that this means. Will he be like, oh, hey,
is it good to basically explicitly be like, hey, I
found all of your emails. I know everything you did.

(34:33):
This is over just just for the sake, you know,
not for him.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
But I do think I do think it would be
good to have a little bit more of like, hey,
I see I saw this, it's over. Don't contact me. Yeah,
because I think he's going to try to contact her, right,
which like he would do so regardless, I think, but yeah, yeah,

(34:59):
And it's like I think she he kind of like
you know her.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
One little tidbit is like, Okay, I want to see
his crash out. Yeah you know, but yeah, I do
think maybe maybe if he responds or reaches outs like hey,
never contact me again.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Yeah, and then and then letting it go. Well, let's
see what happens in this next update.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
I'm ready? You ready? Oh?

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (35:21):
All right.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
So so last night got pretty crazy. Oh started with
Dale playing dumb and asking what was going on and
what did he do? Like I promised all of you,
I did not respond. The wiener knew exactly what he'd done.
He just kept texting and kept texting. One text that

(35:43):
I found particularly infuriating was I can't think of anything
I have done to deserve this. Whatever you think I've
done isn't true. I'm sure you just misunderstood, and I
can explain. I mean, dang, you didn't even have to
be so drama and just leave me here like this.
I love how he was already saying that I just

(36:05):
misunderstood what I think he's done and that he can explain.
He's such a crap person that he wouldn't even just
come out and admit to the emails and say he's
sorry and then to call me dramatic, the text progressed
and the angry ones. Here is a string of text
from him, word for word, except that I corrected some
grammar because his grammar is ridiculous. Each text was probably

(36:28):
sent about two minutes apart, sometimes less, Just so you
understand the level of crazy here, I will refer to
myself as L in these because he uses my name
a lot, and my real name starts with an L,
so it seems appropriate. I blocked him after this, by
the way, And here are the text.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
I'm so excited. I'm so excited, baby.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
You know how much I love you. I'm at a
lost right now. I don't understand. Why won't you answer me?
I just cried calling Elle, please pick up. We are
getting married. I thought you cared about me. I guess
I was wrong. I guess you were cold hearted.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Elle.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
Baby, are you okay? At least answer me so I
know you are okay and not hurt or something. Seriously, Elle, seriously,
you're such a witch. I didn't mean that. I'm just
getting really worried and upset to go about a twenty
minute break between that one and this monstras Oh god,
you know what I did mean? That you're an fing

(37:23):
witch for doing this. If you were unhappy, you should
have told me. I can't believe you would do this
to me. I love you. You are just like your father,
but even worse because at least your mom is a
see you next Tuesday, and so are you, So who
can blame him? Don't ever contact me again or come
crawling back, and good luck finding someone who will love

(37:46):
a fing circus freak witch, lolo loll dumb button. So
that's when I blocked him. I know nothing he said
was true, but Stille, this wasn't an email to an X.
This was something he sent me directly. I cried a
lot after that one. It hit me pretty hard. This
is someone I was planning a future with just a

(38:07):
couple of days ago. A few days ago, he was
so sweet as far as I knew, obviously. He used
to kiss my hand almost every morning. It's just such
a shock, hard to wrap my mind around it. Last
night was a really tough night to get through for me.
I keep reading back what I wrote in this update

(38:29):
last night, and it helps to keep me from feeling strong.
Keep reading all of your lovely comments and messages from
the original post, and it helps to keep me feeling
loved and strong. Jake and Mike are wonderful and I'm
lucky to have them to hold my hand and help
me through this. Though his texts hurt me, they also
reaffirmed that he's a spineless weasel and that I a
thousand percent into the right thing by leaving.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Yeah, you did.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
He He's making it really easy to get over him. Sorry,
this got so long. I wanted to really include you
all in what's happening. Thanks you for checking in on
me and caring about what happens to me. I love
you all. And there's a little update. There's a little
bit more. Oh, there's a little bit more more juice. Wow,
you are all amazing, wonderful people, so much love and support.
I had the intention of responding to some comments, but

(39:13):
the post is now locked, But I want to say
thank you. A lot of people asking me if there
any signs Dale was an a hole, because what do
we say on the show?

Speaker 1 (39:20):
How do you not see the red flags? So rose
tinted glasses.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
There must have been red flags before, right there might
like now in retrospect, you're like, wait, wait that was
a weird behavior, right? Yeah, Well what kind of red
flags look out for, and honestly no, I wish I
could say yes to that so I could potentially prevent
others from going through what I did or something similar.
He was very attentive and loving. He never once made
fun of my appearance to my face. He seemed to

(39:44):
appreciate my ambition and independence. I never felt controlled or
criticized for being financially stable an educated woman. I had
a therapist after I lost my friend in the accident.
My father had also walked out earlier that year, so
we were discussing this and how I hadn't seen it coming.
My therapist told me that people can make you see
whatever they want you to see, but that they can't
keep up the facade forever. Things almost always come to

(40:07):
a head eventually. The only thing you can do is
be secure enough with yourself to understand that the faults
of others have nothing to do with you. Just make
sure you surround yourself with enough good people that you
can afford to lose one or two along the way.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
And by the way, you.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Should never even try to afford losing us, because you
can listen to full episodes with stories just like this.
Go to iHeartRadio app, Spotify, Apple Podcasts or your favorite
podcast app and search. Okay, story time, there's another relevant update.
Oh and a little bit more at this story. But John,
how do we feel with what Op has done and

(40:42):
is doing?

Speaker 3 (40:43):
I mean, again, just Op kind of has exemplified I
think all of the things that we like talk about
in these in these stories, she you know, didn't.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
Choose self destructiveness.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
She chose like, you know, self care and like figuring
out the best situation for herself, didn't get sucked into
the revenge vortext and focused on the people that actually
were good in her mic like like a Jake and
Mike just also W friends, W freaking friends. Yeah, I
mean she did everything great and uh it seemed also

(41:14):
her her self security was that stood out to me
as well.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
Because I mean I think somebody it was cool as
some people would see those messages between X and maybe
stay or maybe try to convince the partner, hey, like
come back to me true And I feel like she
had enough respect, enough self respect and and enough boundaries
to be like, this is not the right kind of
relationship that I want to be in. I'm leaving and

(41:40):
that is not that's not an easy thing to do.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Not at all. Yeah, And I guess he was just
so good at masking it.

Speaker 3 (41:46):
He was able to just like get away with it
until she found the evidence of who he really was.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
So crazy, so crazy crazy.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
There's a little bit more of the story, and let's
get into it. So I suppose that would be my
advice on the matter. Love people openly and let yourself
be loved, but always keep holding But always keep a
hold of yourself and make sure you have yourself covered
should someone let you down along the way. As far
as the dress goes, I believe I will take the
advice of many of you and donate it to flood
victims in Louisiana. It is a beautiful gown. I think

(42:17):
what I will burn instead is my reception dress. I've
got to burn something. Thanks Red, I sincerely love you
all and wish you the best in all of your
life endeavors. I might pop back in a few weeks
to update you all and how I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Love l Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back
to these stories.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors, and
that is where that story edds. Wow, Wow, what a saga.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
What a saga, What a what a roller coaster? But
look look where we've landed. Thank god she landed here. Yeah,
a man she had married and bought a house with him,
just more months potentially after all of this happened.

Speaker 1 (42:59):
Yeah god.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Oh well, hopefully no one finds himself in love like this. Yep,
let's hit this next story. We got one more story
for you.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Yes, sir, I caught my husband keeping private photos of
his exes. It shattered my trust.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
Like what kind of photos? Oh god?

Speaker 3 (43:17):
My husband and I have been dating since twenty sixteen
and married since twenty twenty. He's a typical guy who
bottles up his feelings and will not share with me
any of his innermost thoughts or problems he is facing.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
Yikes, that's not good. It doesn't sound like too strong
of a relationship start.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
Nope.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
From what I can tell, this is the only real
issue in our relationship.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
Well, we'll find out about that.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
By the way, this comes from dul Cranberry sixty one
seventy nine, And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
Okay, storytime stuffered it.

Speaker 3 (43:46):
So I want to make it very clear that we
have a very loving, spicy, and fun and at least
from my end, openly honest relationship.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
Ok So, up until this point, I thought that.

Speaker 3 (43:58):
The issue of not incline luting me in his innermost
thoughts was a problem of communication and not one of deceit.
Oh no, now I know you in the chat if
you see something wicked coming on our way, he's keeping
more than thoughts to himself. He's keeping thoughts to himself
that he is. For some background, my ex husband cheated

(44:20):
on me serial cheater. Wow, sorry to hear that. I
found out that our entire relationship had basically been one
big lie.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
To make a long story short, it took a long
time to get over it, and I will never forget
all of the red flags that I missed because I
know what to look out for now. Example, X was
very protective of his phone and he never let me
near it. Dude, honestly, such a red flag I am.
I'm always just like, here's a phone. I like if

(44:49):
if you're a protective, I don't even I don't know
anyone in a relationship that is protective of their phone
unless they're planning a surprise for the person. Yeah, that's
the only reason, and that's that's a short time window,
you know what I mean. Yeah, maybe maybe they're like
prepping for I think the longest time window could be

(45:12):
like prepin for a proposal, which might be like three months. Yeah, yeah,
which I guess.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
We've seen on the show before where someone thinks they're
cheating and.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Yeah for a proposal. I guess that. Yeah, yeah, but
that's the only reason.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Yeah, let us let us know if you think it's
a green flag. Phone sharing very curious, but we're gonna
keep going now. I am with my current husband and
he has displayed none of those red flag behaviors. He
is very open with his phone, gives me his passwords,
et cetera, et cetera. Anytime I felt he may have
been hiding something from me, it does come down to
communication breakdown or him saying that he just didn't realize
there was an issue so he didn't think to say anything.

(45:47):
Never before has the issue been about spicy sleep or
anything related to that or cheating. Husband loves to take
photos of me, and I don't mind because we are
married and he and I know he loves to use
them when he's on his own time. If you catch
him a drift right, little solo work there, there we go.
So you know, sometimes the duo is great, but you

(46:09):
gotta do a little solo.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Act, you know, break out exactly. He needs some me time.
Put a little Jackson Pollock painting on your phone screen,
like a.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
Little justin Timberlake to the InSync, you know what I mean. Now,
we have a very active, spicy sleep life. And although
there have been periods of less spicy sleep less being
once every one to two weeks, lately things have been
going really well and we've been incredibly into.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Big, big intimacy.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
Last night, he was showing me a collage he made
of some photos he took of me doing something spicy.
They weren't flattering photos because they had gained weight at
the time, so I expressed that it was not nice.
I wasn't mad about it. I don't care that he
likes to look at it. I just wasn't interested in
looking at me in that photo. So basically I think, Op,

(46:59):
he's like, hey, not mad that you did that, But
it's not like I'm like not personally excited about it,
where maybe he was like, oh, maybe she'll like this,
she'll like that I made a spy yeah, my little
you know, look book of her.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
So he made a collage of like nude, spicy sleep
positions of images that she didn't really know that were
being taken.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
Oh of doing yeah, doing something a spicy hobby, I believe, yes, yes, yes,
so it seemed that she was maybe doing her own,
you know, her own solo act or something like that.
And then he put together a physical collage.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
I know, I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yems, but
if someone, if someone, if the person I was seeing,
what did you say if a person I was seeing
took a bunch of secret photos of me and gave
me a collage saying, you go.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
I really I really like how you look.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
I don't I think I would be like, oh yeah,
let me let me check back with you in a
little bit.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
To be clear, we don't know that there there were
secret photos, because she just previously talked about that.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
He does like to but she said, like, I didn't
like this photo. I had not seen this photo. I
don't she didn't like how she looked in this photo
because she said she gained weight, so she obviously hadn't
seen that photo before. Yes, yes, well, yeah, I mean
I mean freakin' again, not trying to yuck yums. If

(48:36):
you want a spicy collage of yourself, hey, more power
to you. But I'm just saying if someone I was
seeing ye gave me a spicy collage of myself, I
would I would be like, oh.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
I don't know, how would you? How do you even
react to that? It's so weird.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
I feel like, you know, Riley made a collage for
his girl, so like, maybe Riley would do that, you know,
is that something you would do?

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Scrap book?

Speaker 3 (49:05):
Yeah, a scrap book not that, Yeah, a scrap book
of our relationship over the past year.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
All parts of your relationship, yeah, not all a parts.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
You gotta bear yourself, bro, come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
You know you didn't like, authentically express all all the
different parts of dude.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
I don't know. You know what? You know? What you are?

Speaker 3 (49:26):
You are covering your covering yourself in the dark and
disruptive cloth of secrecy.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Yeah, exactly, you should really just let let all of
it be open.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
You're you're shrouding your your true nature. Exactly.

Speaker 4 (49:38):
You're true because it always happened in the dark. So
how much supposed to take?

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Why not? I don't want to. Are you?

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Are you always? Are you always in the dark?

Speaker 4 (49:50):
Always?

Speaker 1 (49:51):
No, No, he goes in the shower. That's a soul act.
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
You're in the shower and and and and your shrouds
of myster you are not covering you. That's all you need.
That's all you need. Okay, that's all we're saying. Guys,
are you talking about Riley's solo acts in his shower?
Not his solo acts to be clear, him literally just
using the shower in a normal sense. Okay, that is
a case where the shrouds of secrecy are there and

(50:17):
and and the lights are on.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
That is the point I was trying to make. They
know too much, explicitly explicitly.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
Yeah, anyway, anyways, anyway back to this, are you guys
a lights on or lights off kind of person? Put
your answers in the chat below.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Let us know.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
I like to I like to move between the two.
You're a I like that flick it off? Yea, those frosts.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
AnyWho, let's get back. Let's get back to it here.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
So last week left off the grand reveal of the
the Spicy The Spicy Picture collage was just revealed Opie says,
I don't care that he likes to look at it.
I just wasn't interested in looking at me in that photo.
There are tons of photos where I look hot af
but if he wants the ugly ones to whatever have fun.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
I go to bed right after that and laid my
head on his chest.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
At bedtime, we will often lay this way and I'll
watch as he plays a game or scrolls the Chive
or Reddit or something like that. Like I said, no
red flags so far. I know he has a locked
folder on his phone because he installed the same app,
slash folder on my phone. I save important files there.
I know he saves his nudies of me. There no problem, Okay. Well,

(51:31):
as I laid my head down and I looked at
his phone, he immediately tilted the screen, which obscures it
because he has one of those screen covers that make
it so you can only see it from straight on.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Bro and then clan, it is too secretive. I don't trust.
I don't know. What are you hiding? What are you hiding?
What are you hiding? Brother? Come on? Now?

Speaker 3 (51:52):
From what I could see, it looks like a bunch
of thumbnails of unclothed bodies, different lighting, or skin tones.
Maybe I couldn't tell if they were photos or videos
or both. It was such a quick glance I would
have just assumed that they were just more photos of me.
But because he hit it immediately and he has never
done this before, of course I was suspicious. Also really

(52:13):
quick we had this in the last story. Is this
probable cause? Is this enough of a window for OPI
to go in and investigate.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
I think we got a little probable cause.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
Also, kind of the context of the collage before, it's
just you know, it's getting a little.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
Weird, especial, a little weird.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
Especially, this is more suspicious suspicious than the colause is
just weird. Yeah, this is like suspicious suspicious. Yes, I
asked him what it was.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
I can't remember exactly how it went, but basically I
had to ask him several times. First he told me
it closed down, referring to the app. I responded, yeah,
because you closed it down. So I asked again, what
was that? He started to say, on repeat, like a
broken record, years and years or maybe it was years ago.
It was a few words. He wouldn't adnswer my question.
He would just say, oh, years and years ago. It's

(53:02):
just years time, space, time or whatever. He said that
like four or five times. Finally, I said, so those
are photos from years ago? Yeah, from xes, Yes, from before.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
You m keeping photos of your exes in a special folder.
There's a little a special folder that we know you frequent.
It's a little whack.

Speaker 3 (53:34):
Literally and wa and metaphorically legal. Right, I don't know
if illegal, but illegal to me in the court of
John yea illegal.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
But I'm passing that law.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
Thank you, Senate Riley.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
All those in favors AI by the special folder. Yeah,
I don't know about that. I don't know about that.
It's a little weird.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
Hope he doesn't either. She responded with oh wow, and
I turned away immediately. I felt nauseated. It usually usually
takes me a long time to wrap my head around
how I feel about a thing. I don't tend to
overreact or be emotional, but there are some things that
cut me to my core because they do remind me
of my ex and how my life fell apart. Remember,
she had this crazy cheating X. The whole relationship was

(54:25):
a lie. Husband knows about my ex husband and all
of that, and he's not a stupid man. So I
do believe that he knew that this would hurt me.
Why else would he have hit it for eight years?

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Eight years? Who now?

Speaker 3 (54:39):
My knee jerk reaction was to tell him to delete
everything he had of me. I didn't even care to
ask him to delete his exes, because if he had
wanted to do that, he would have already. Because I
did not want this man looking at me that way.
I felt so violated. I resisted the impulse to ask
him to delete for like two minutes, but then I
just blurted out, I want you to delete all all

(55:00):
of your photos and videos of me. I feel gross knowing.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
That you have them.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
Now.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
Hmm, I say, yes, I think you can ask that. Yeah,
I mean, wait, there are they about to be married?

Speaker 1 (55:12):
No, they're married. They're married. They're married, husband and wife.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
I think I would probably have a conversation if I
had found my partner did this. I think I don't
know if I would ask to delete all the pictures
of me, but I would be like, why do you
have all of your all these photos of these exes,
Like this doesn't make me feel safe.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
For Yeah, I would. I would have more of a conversation.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
And I think, in fairness would be kind of alluded
to like I don't usually have like a kind of
like knee jerky sure like emotional this I think felt
like in the moment when her head understandably was clouded
with like what what the F?

Speaker 1 (55:52):
What the F?

Speaker 3 (55:54):
I heard him tapping on his phone and he muttered
trash like he was putting them in the trash.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
That also also, this guy's weird.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
I'm sorry, but I know how much he has and
I know how phones work, so I'm not naives.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
Does he have eight years worse man.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
Years before eight before the eight years of the marriage,
the rest of relationship. I think I can count on
like both hands, the amount of and toes, the amount
of spicy from amount of spicy picks like that I've received.
I do not believe that I'm not I'm not like

(56:32):
a texter.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
I feel like it's like, unless you're in a long
distance relationship that I think would push those numbers up.
But like, I don't know, to have like a whole
folder of it just feels a little odd to me. Again,
not like to yuck someone's yum, but to have all
the xes, I feel like that is Clear's like I
don't know if it's instant breakup for me, but it

(56:57):
would definitely be a hard conversation.

Speaker 1 (56:59):
Yeah, I don't know what, like what what do you think?

Speaker 3 (57:03):
I mean, I think that it is a huge indicator
of you are. It could be your completely checked out
of the relationship in the in the spicy sleep world.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
But you know what, it doesn't seem like they're like
completely like they're they're having like pretty that is true.

Speaker 3 (57:19):
That is yeah, that we do have the context of that.
I think it's just there's something it's it's part of
the commitment. I feel like and I and I know
that's there's all obviously like spicy videos that like a
lot of couples are like totally fine with, uh, But
I think there's something about it being a person that
you specifically had a.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Connection with in the past.

Speaker 3 (57:42):
Yeah, and and the context in which those were exchange
that makes it a whole different ballgame than spicy videos.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
And it's also like it's not like, oh, like I
forgot to lead them on my phone, you know, like
this is a dedicated folder that he is like preserved
and select eight years.

Speaker 3 (58:01):
But this was before their eight their eight year relationship,
he said years and years ago, before their eight year relationship.
So he is saved and again a context that would
have been different. Have they been dating for three months?
And then he's like, oh, geez, I forgot to delete
this thing from my last fling from like eight months
ago or something.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
No, that's a different story. This is the story.

Speaker 2 (58:21):
Yeah, yeah, this is This is not looking too good.
I also think, like my other question, is this tip
of the iceberg.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
I think there's only one way to find out, so
Opie says. But I know how much he has. I
know the phones work, so I'm not naive to think
as he that he has actually.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Deleted all of it completely.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
I also know it is a big ask of him,
because we are talking about eight years of material.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
There's a lot.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
That portfolio is large. But I feel so violated. I
just couldn't help myself. I laid in bed waiting for
him to say anything for probably twenty minutes I can't remember.
I eventually left asleep in the other room. Husband made
zero attempt to talk to me about it. I feel
so many things and also nothing at all. This shows
me that my husband does not respect women. I feel
disrespected occasionally by him in the past, but again I

(59:09):
chalked most of it up to his poor communication skills.
I do not want to say that overall I find
I do not want to say that overall, I do
find him to be a very kind of caring man.
And also I tend to feel disrespected, probably more easily
than most as this is a huge pet peeve of
mine because remember her history with her cheating ex husband.
To be fair, me feeling disrespected in the past was

(59:31):
probably eighty percent me overreacting, and twenty percent of those
times were actually justified. Again, I can count on one
hand they amount of times as has happened, so not
frequent over eight years. I feel so bad for those
women that he has kept this past, that he's kept
this past the end of their relationship, way past the
actual relationship. I know guys keep stuff like this, but

(59:52):
this is such a violation, not just the keeping of it,
but very clearly that he has kept it handy for
years and years. Mind you, we have switching We have
switched phones multiple times since we have been together. He
has transferred these photos carefully from phone to phone.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
That's right.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
I mean eight years, you're gonna move phones a lot.
So he's moved it from phone to phone so that
he can have them available to look at. As mentioned,
I feel totally disgusted that I've let this man look
at me, touch me, take photos of me. I immediately
felt violated. I don't know if this constitutes the ick completely,
but I guess that's what the kids call it nowadays.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
And worst of all, what else could be could he
be hiding? I don't think this is.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
Itself divorce worthy, but that last bit number four, I'm
afraid to even talk about it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
I also I also don't think it's divorce worthy. I
think it's pretty a pretty big. I think it's it's
pretty big, deserves a conversation. Yeah, if this is all yeah,
like I think this could be remedy. It's like, hey,
delete that, that's not okay?

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
M hm. So worst of all, what else could he
be hiding?

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
I don't think this by itself is divorce worthy, but
the last bit I am afraid to even talk about
it because I feel like I will come up with.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
One of two solutions.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
There is a lot more that he is hiding and
it will be enough to end the marriage, or number two,
I end up feeling that he is not being forthcoming
and I'm able to trust him again, which will also
inevitably end the marriage. Well, I am frighteningly confident that
number two would be the outcome, given his issues with communication.
I didn't realize how confident I was with this until
I started crying as I typed it tragic. I've told

(01:01:32):
my husband so many times that I never want a
divorce again, how horrible divorces even without kids involved. Thankfully
we have none, and I did not have any with
my ex. He knows that I was cheated on. He
knows I have zero tolerance, so he knows exactly what
he needs to keep hiding from me. And if he
kept those photos hidden for eight years, what else could

(01:01:52):
he have kept hidden?

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
Again, this is an a year relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Yes, this is long, long time, and all of so
all of the exes you know and ex'es allegedly we
don't even know would be before that time.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
Yeah, we're taking it at face value.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
And also, I mean he's been secretive for like most
of that relationship that she you know, she's she's set.

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
He doesn't talk, he doesn't talk. I am very trusting
of him, and I don't pry, even though we have
access to each other's things. I have never gone looking,
and I was very confident there was nothing to find
even if I did.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
How do I proceed?

Speaker 3 (01:02:25):
I think counseling is likely in order, and he has
suggested it in the past. So the good news here
is that I know he will do it. Unfortunately, I
also know couple's counseling is not covered by our insurance,
which is what kept us from actually doing it in
the past. Am I overreacting again, I'm not naive. I
know guys keep photos of their exes. I'm sure I
have some on my Apple ID in the black hole

(01:02:46):
of the internet out there somewhere that I haven't just
bothered to sift through once I moved on. However, I
feel that there is a difference that I'm not revisiting
these photos on the regular one hundred percent agreed having
photos of x'es, you know, like I have like twenty
thousand or you know, fifty thousand mixes, No fifty photos

(01:03:09):
on on like my camera. Like people aren't going to
go through every single one of their photos, right, Like,
that's just unreasonable. What is reasonable is not having a
special folder dedicated to this like that. That is completely
different than you may be having a stray photo in
you know, fifty thousand photos right exactly. So I would

(01:03:31):
say I would still say this is not divorce worthy
in itself, because like I think, I think this could
be worked through. I still think it is pretty uh
pretty like confidence and trust shaking. But I think if

(01:03:51):
this is the only thing, and if it's not the
tip of the iceberg, maybe with like counseling and a
lot of communication, that could get through. But only if
he's down to communicate, you know, like like I I,
if he's not down to communicate, then it might be
too much of a hurdle to move through. I think
that the kind of like hidden thing that we haven't
addressed is uh well addressed to some is like I

(01:04:13):
feel like a part of this package would be, like
you need to start like communicating you know, how you feel,
and like get to a reasonable pace of communication. Otherwise,
even if we fix like all of the you know,
the nude stuff, you know, I feel like at this
point she needs that for her trust.

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
Right, Yeah, yeah, I think there needs any more post
post this this incident.

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
Indeed, Opie says, uh, I feel the difference is that
I'm not revisiting photos on the regular and would prefer
not to see them at all. I know I have
to discuss this with them, but how can I when
he is so bottled up? Does anyone have an experience
with the partner who you have to basically drag any
bit of vulnerability out of. It takes me time to
fully understand my emotion, fully understand my emotions, and to

(01:04:56):
put that into a coherent thought, so I can't so
I can even have a conversation with him. But I
also know the cold shoulder is no good. I just
don't feel ready to talk to him yet. Should I
force myself to have this conversation despite not feeling ready?
I don't want to continue to enforce this idea that
it's okay for us to not communicate at all. I
just don't feel ready. Prospective advice, words of wisdom, or encouragement.

(01:05:17):
I will take it all. I do not want to
divorce my husband, so please don't suggest that. Trust me.
I am usually on the divorce this turd bandwagon, but
I genuinely do not feel that this is divorce worthy.
I am, however, afraid that the what the follow of
this may be? We have I believe our final update. Wow,
But quick quick thoughts on Opie's thing here. Should she

(01:05:38):
go and confront him yet?

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
I mean, hey, you need to communicate early and often,
you need to get him to communicate. But again, like
I think, be prepared going into this, ask for more
communication that he might not be able or willing to
meet you where you need to be met to get
through this. And so while I may agree like this

(01:06:05):
in itself might not be divorceworthy, this unresolved yeah, may
be divorce worthy. But my question John is do you
think this is the tip of the icebery? Like are
you are you getting any clues that this may be
a little bit deeper?

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
I think what does make me think that is the
fact that he is noncommunicative.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
Yeah, and so protective of his phone, like the screen,
the like, not letting her like look at his phone. Really,
I mean he is the dedicated app, the dedicated app.
I think someone who's that protective of their device is
either about to propose or is hiding something.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
And he already proposed they already, So.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
I feel like it's maybe cheating, but don't don't like
invest in that before for having a conversation.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
Yeah, and to to quickly answer Opie's question.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
I think you could say, hey, I want to have
this conversation, but I need to process my thoughts.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
I'm not ready right now, but just know that that's coming.
You can.

Speaker 3 (01:07:10):
You can communicate what's what's in your head, even if
it doesn't it isn't coherent yet, but we have our
final update the boys and girls. I confronted him. He
told me that he spent all last night deleting every
one of the photos of his exes as well as
mine that I asked. He even went through backups, even
hard drive.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
The fuck up?

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
God, that's crazy, I ask you, like a hard drive?

Speaker 3 (01:07:39):
Yes, bro, like he has the full, the full full?
You know three three sources.

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
And babe, babe, I mean you know how things can
be in a fire. I also have them printed out. Yeah,
and a fire proof safe, babe, all the best you
know film. People say you gotta have it stored in
three places. I don't know what to tell you.

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
So I asked him why he kept them, and he
said he had forgotten they were there. Slash didn't have
a reason. I called, b Yes, they're in a folder
he actively manages with photos of me. He told me
he had three photos for me, one from a corn
Star he used to like, and three folders of his exes.
Also the again, the level of organization it just.

Speaker 2 (01:08:16):
Gives corn Star again. I hey, like I don't want
to be like, oh, that's like gross, you know, yeah,
because again, you know, if it's not like with the
corn like specifically focusing on the corn Star folder like like, yeah,

(01:08:39):
I feel like it's a little tacky at the very least.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
The folder is like too too much. It feels obsessive.

Speaker 2 (01:08:46):
Yeah, it feels Yes, that's freaking right right on the nose, John, Yeah,
it feels obsessive. And it's like it's like, like in
the same way, it's different to have a stray photos
we're deep in your photo catalog versus like obsessing over
a curated list of these photos. You know, I think

(01:09:07):
it's different. You know, watching a you know some some
actresses on screen engaging in uh, some of the the
best performances. You have seen a lot of great solo acts.
Got a great solo acts, you know one woman shows.
May you add like watching that in you know, just

(01:09:30):
like sporadically versus having a dedicated folder. It just feels obsessive. Yeah,
and that I think is a red flag.

Speaker 1 (01:09:39):
That's what we don't like.

Speaker 3 (01:09:40):
Yeah, so he claims to not look at them. Again,
I called BS, but he he would not concede that
he has not been that he has been actively looking
at them. He said his response of hiding the phone
was because he knew I would be upset. I countered
that if he knew it would upset me, that he
knew it would upset me, and he clearly knew he
had the photo. Still, why not just delete them previously?

(01:10:03):
No reason and he hasn't kept them for any reason. Again,
I called BS. My husband is not this dense. I
was very firm, but he stood his ground. I asked
about affairs any possibly, in any possible way I could
think to. All answers were no. However, I still don't
feel like I can trust him because I am completely
unsatisfied with the answers around the NUDI.

Speaker 1 (01:10:23):
Fhone me too. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:10:25):
The trust is the foundation of the relationship. The trust
is not there right now.

Speaker 1 (01:10:29):
Yeah. Like I do believe he is sorry, However, I.

Speaker 3 (01:10:32):
Just don't know why he is sorry yet, as in,
is he sorry he got caught or is he sorry
that he hurt me, he is scheduling counseling. I told
him that we would split the cost and we have
an update number two. I think this will be a
surprise final update, Ladies and gentlemen. After a second discussion,
he finally admitted that they were on purpose and he
used them to one hand clap. And I'm not talking

(01:10:55):
about that. He admitted it to doing as recently as
a year ago. But I feel that this is probably untrue.
By the way, Sam, you know what's something that is true?
What is true John that you can get full episodes
of stories just like this, for better or for worse,
by searching Okay storytime on Spotify, Apple Podcasts with the

(01:11:16):
iHeartRadio app for a vault of two thousand podcast episodes
for your listening pleasure. Oo. Baby, But ladies and gentlemen,
we've got this final part of the saga, Opie says,
I am not terribly concerned about when he used them.
What bothers me is that he is still very clearly

(01:11:36):
being dishonest and hiding something else. He will not say
what it is, but I am one hundred percent confident
that there is more. I later told him that if
he wants to try and save our marriage. He will
need to be open and honest about whatever he is
ashamed of, because our marriage is doomed. If he can't
do that, we cannot survive more secrecy of that. I'm
certain counseling is scheduled, and.

Speaker 1 (01:11:58):
That is where we leave it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:00):
John here og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,
but a quick three minute break from hows.

Speaker 2 (01:12:04):
From our sponsors. This is says trickle truth.

Speaker 1 (01:12:08):
Trickle truth.

Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
I feel like we're getting a little trickle truth.

Speaker 1 (01:12:11):
He's gooning the truth.

Speaker 2 (01:12:11):
He's goooning the truth just right on the edge. Yeah,
just release it, put it out, you know. Kayla man
Campus says, Yeah, I think he's addicted. Yeah, he had
corn addiction and real thing A lot of men suffer
from it. Seems like he definitely is is that. And

(01:12:32):
you know, like I think corn is very you know,
popularized in U like just like I don't. I don't
think I think it is damaging for the brainy in
like high doses, but low dose. Honestly, even in low doses,
I feel like I like, uh, I have gone back

(01:12:56):
and forth with like corn usage, and generally I feel happier,
healthier and have better relationships with women when I'm not
watching it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:05):
Who needs? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:13:07):
But hey, you know, low doses is fine. I think maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:13:11):
Samuel Donner, the anti Corn Just kidding, just kidding, we're playing.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
Oh should we close out the episode?

Speaker 3 (01:13:20):
Oh yes, yes, yes sir, but Sam that's all. That's
all all, she wrote. So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe. We love you and see you tomorrow.

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