I CONFESSED my affair to my husband… because the guilt is too much! - r/marriage | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast and we have
some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing
is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.
So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I confessed my affair to my husband because the guilt
was too much.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
It was weighing down.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
I'm twenty seven and my husband is twenty six. We
got together when he was seventeen and I was nineteen.
One of those popular boys I thought was straight, and
even if he wasn't, I figured he wouldn't give an
overweight guy like me a second glance. He was a
jock and I was chubby. But somehow we made it
work despite all the hardships.

Speaker 4 (00:40):
So these are two dudes too, Dudes, two dudes.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
By the way, this comes from deleted and if you
want to spit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay Storytime Separate it. So his dad threatened to
disown him when he found out about us. My boyfriend
told his father how much he loved and looked up
to him, how he'd even enlisted because he wanted to
be like him. But being into men wasn't something he
could change or suppress. Even though he loved his dad,

(01:04):
he chose me. We got married three years ago and
moved into our own place. We split chores, got along amazingly,
and have a good, spicy sleep life. We make decent money.
He earns comfortable mid five figures, and with the seven
day security details he's taken once a month, he hits
low six figures. Those week long assignments leave me missing

(01:26):
him badly, so I tried to distract myself. One night,
My friends and I went to a bar where I
met Maddie. Who's nineteen Oh oh oh at.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
A bar not in Britain.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Line oh also if he's twenty seven?

Speaker 3 (01:42):
Who's talking?

Speaker 2 (01:43):
He gave me a lot of attention, which confused me,
since I find it hard to believe anyone would find
me attractive. We got spicy and it went on for
way longer than I'd like to admit.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Oh, a rather opee. That man's not right.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
You suck.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
He found an unripe man. Oh suck, he sucked.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Last week watching my husband get excited about the plans
we were making for when he returned from his next
assignment made me spiral after he left, I cried for
three days because I felt like, crap, you should you.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Should because you were hitting the craft.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Are you coming here for us to feel bad for you?
Because I don't you You're a cheater. I cut things
off with Maddie and decided to come clean, as you should.
He came home yesterday before me. When I walked in,
he was all smiles, cooking dinner.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
No cooking dinner, and they getting bad getting hearing bad news.
Imagine cooking someone dinner and then immediately after hearing bad news.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. He rushed to greet
me with a kiss, but I said we needed to talk.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Oh good, we have food here.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
He kept kissing me, saying we talk after he got
a minute to admire me. Oh, we sat down. He
held my hands, squeezing gently, waiting for me to speak.
When I told him about the affair, he didn't let go,
just loosened his grip and nodded, okay. He said he
got up, ate dinner alone, then locked himself in our bedroom.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
He still ate dinner after that.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Well, yeah, he's hungry, he's hungry.

Speaker 5 (03:18):
I could not, dude, I couldn't, dude, No, no, no.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
If someone told me that I want to throw.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
Up, absolutely yeah. This morning, when I woke up, he
was gone, with all of his belongings. He won't return
my calls or texts. I deserve this. I spent the
whole next day crying about what happened and how stupid
I'd been. I downed a lot of vodka and passed out.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
Dang.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
This morning, I woke up to noise in the bedroom.
When I opened my eyes, I saw my husband getting dressed.
For a second, I was convinced it had all been
a dream. I'd never cheated and that grumpy look was
just because he hadn't had his coffee and sick yet.
But no, my reality was different. He told me I
looked like a mess and to shower before we were late.
He sarcasts ripped into me for buying the cheapest vodka,

(04:02):
telling me to get my taste back since I still
had access to our finances.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
When I asked where we were going, he gave me
the most disappointed look. Did he f your brain's out?

Speaker 3 (04:12):
So good?

Speaker 2 (04:13):
You forgot my brother's birthday party? So okay?

Speaker 3 (04:19):
Hear me out, hear me out, hear me out?

Speaker 4 (04:21):
Oh I think he's willing to get over this because
he's still joking about it, or is this petty joking.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
I think this is petty joking.

Speaker 4 (04:29):
I thought it was, Yeah, where you're kind of going
back going at him a little bit.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
No, I think you're going to get over it. The
thing is that I think right now it seems like
he wants to maybe stay together, at least in the
current moment. However, I don't think that he should because
he's clearly, rightfully so very upset about this. Yeah, as
I got up to shower, I noticed a small cotton
ball in his arm. When I asked about it, he

(04:56):
said his dealer.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Was so kind to a.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
I don't even know what that means to give it
to him after Okay.

Speaker 5 (05:03):
Oh yeah, email here?

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Oh okay, guys mentions of drugs, um wow, morning, all right.
When I didn't react to his sarcasm, he'd explained he'd
gone to the clinic to get tested very fair and smarts.

Speaker 5 (05:20):
Okay, so it was a joke.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
It was a joke. Yeah, it was a joke. He's
saying that he's getting tested for STD.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
So this is how he coached everyone with jokes.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, we went to his brother's birthday party. My husband
is the second of four boys. The oldest is thirty one,
the youngest just turned seventeen. He's close with all of them,
and his niece always says he's her best friend. Watching
him play with her broke me even more, knowing I'd
never see him as a father to our children. And
that's your fault.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Yep, that's your fault.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Throughout the party, he put on a perfect act, talking
to me, arm around me, smiling with those loving eyes
he'd always have before. I confessed it was just a
backyard barbecue, and after three hours we went home. Sitting
in our living room, I asked where he'd been the
day before. He said he stayed in a hotel, went
for a walk, got ice cream and an energy drink,

(06:10):
and then sat on a bench listening to music and smoking.
Then he looked at me. I was alone, didn't have
anyone with me in there. I knew what he was
getting at. I asked if he had any questions about me.
The only thing he wanted to know was whether I'd
done this during his five month training deployment. I told
him I hadn't. After a short silence, I asked if
he wanted a divorce. Of course you'd want that, he replied.

(06:33):
The streets are more fun than these four walls with me.
I tried explaining that wasn't what I meant, but midway
through he gave me his typical I was being half
sarcastic look. Then he asked if I didn't find him
attractive anymore. That made me tear up. I told him
I found him very attractive, that he'd been the most
amazing husband anyone could ask for, and this had nothing

(06:54):
to do with his looks or personality or how he
treated me. This was all on me for being a
total idiot. I don't think you get to just say
you're an idiot. I don't think you get to betray
your partner who has been nothing but good to you,
and then just say, oh, I'm an idiot. You didn't
do it because you were stupid like that. I think
that gives it. I think that gives you.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
Will say, I will say as a man, and I
can speak to this because I'm a man and you're
a woman, and you know nothing about this, Danga. I
was gonna say, sometimes you think with the wrong head
and you do idiotic move because you're just thinking with
your wiener head rather than your brain head. Sure you
can't be an idiot, but I agree, I think you
should add more words to the idiot.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
Yeah you are.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
I just don't think I think that it gives it,
like let you off the hook.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
You know.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
It's like, oh, I just wasn't thinking that's why I
did it. It's like, no, that's not that doesn't. You
can't get off that easily. He said. He wasn't planning
on divorcing me just yet. Dude, no divorce him.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
He was too.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Embarrassed to tell his father after finding tooth and nail
for that man to still see him as his son,
someone who'd grown up playing rugby his whole life, someone
my husband loved dearly. He didn't want his mother to
have a tainted image of me either, So he was
planning something. He just needed time to figure it out.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
That's sweet.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
No, No, I asked what would happen until then? He said,
we'd have a marriage of convenience. I could continue living
the life he provided, an even better one, since he'd
been taking more details for a significantly higher pay, and
he'd keep up the charade of being a happily married
man in front of his family. I could sleep with
whoever I wanted, because spicy sleep was something I wouldn't

(08:30):
be getting from him good. I asked if this was
his way of saying he'd also sleep around. Shut up, Opie,
literally shut up. You don't get it O shut up.
He said his hand worked fine, and if he wanted
someone else, he wouldn't deny himself the same freedom he
gave me. When I asked if i'd be taking the couch,
he reminded me of our rule. No matter how mad

(08:51):
we got, we never slept apart. I don't know what's
going on here. I brought up how he locked me
out two days ago, and he said he'd unlocked it
before bed. I just hadn't checked in our bedroom. I
noticed him checking me out, those same eyes he'd get
when making a move, but instead he went to the
bathroom and returned in sweatpants and a T shirt. He
usually can't sleep in clothes at all. That small detail

(09:13):
hit me hard before sleep. I told him I loved him.
He paused and said, I love you more.

Speaker 5 (09:18):
What is going on?

Speaker 2 (09:21):
He turned away, and I spooned him, something I'd never
done before. I'm taller than him and holding him felt strange,
like I was suddenly the protector. I kissed the back
of his neck. I wish you hadn't told me, he whispered.
I would have been happier not knowing I was being
made a fool.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
What is going on? I don't know.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
I think he said, take the high road and be
like the fair person, and I, hey, this, he's just
trying to kill him nis and I say this.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
He fell asleep in my arms. I stayed awake, crying,
realizing I wanted to be better, to undo the damage
I'd caused. I would keep fighting for us until he
told me it was too late, and there is an update.
I freaking hate this. I want them to break up.

Speaker 4 (10:01):
He's taking the high road, trying not to seem like
the villain, but he's thinking of something. But he's but
he's thinking, but he's thinking of something to do tough.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
I think maybe he's planning to get divorced. But he's
just like.

Speaker 4 (10:15):
Making it seem everything's good, We're still to love, everything's
all right.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Yeah, and then black buds get hit. Was you broke
his heart? He broke his He's not going to take that, and.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
He can deserve it.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
Like it's nothing.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Update. A lot happened today while I was at work.
My first priority was scheduling a therapist appointment, talking to
my husband about marriage counseling, and starting to rebuild our
life from the ground up. I got home before he did,
arms full of groceries since I planned to make him dinner.
Four point thirty came and went odd, since he usually
gets home around then. He finally arrived around five point

(10:47):
forty on FaceTime with his youngest brother. His brother was
telling him how he'd been up since six am waiting
for Playboy Cardi's album, which finally dropped six hours late.

Speaker 4 (10:56):
Ooh, and he's definitely going to be upset with it
because it wasn't that good.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
He encouraged my husband to listen to it, but my
husband said he had and it was. But his brother said,
put op on the phone. I want his opinion, and
my husband replied, you think opia has the right to
disagree with me in my own house. When his brother said,
of course he does, what my husband shot back, yeah,
if he wants to camp in our backyard. Dude, this

(11:21):
is so unhealthy, this is so healthy.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
I was going to control you.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
It baffled me. How he could keep up this act
for so long. If he wasn't a soldier, he would
have been an actor. After dinner, he was doing the
dishes when I poured myself some vodka. He immediately poured
it down the drain, along with the entire bottle. With
burt in his eyes, he said, booze was destroying our marriage.
I think the cheating destroyed your marriage. He gave me
three options, see a therapist, check into rehab, or sign

(11:50):
divorce papers by Monday. I told him I had planned
to suggest therapy anyway. He said it was about time
I started thinking. Then he laid out all the times
he'd had to babysit me while I was wasted, how
he avoided drinking at events because he knew he'd have
to drive us home, and how I always turned to
booze in stressful times. He said he'd dropped tins for
years but avoided being controlling. Looking back, he regretted not

(12:14):
putting his foot down sooner. I suggested couple's therapy, but
he refused. We had to fix this ourselves. I told
him how scared I was of losing him, of ruining
his life. He said I hadn't even tried to build
a life. Dutchess Casana says, what I'm thinking, I'm confused.
Did Ope have a drinking problem? He hadn't mentioned, That's
what I'm saying, I think, so I think, Oh well,

(12:35):
Nina Nelson says, well, Opie blained, i'llcohol for cheating, So
I see the point. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Then he grabbed my laptop and opened the novel I
started writing in the summer. Still stuck on page sixty,
he asked how I planned to be a writer without writing.
I told him I had no motivation, and he said
drinking myself to sleep with the reason. He made me
sit down and write while he watched me.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
That's okay, all right, what.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Is going on? I wrote a flashback scene of the
main characters first kiss, a recreation of our own. He
read it and asked if I'd really seen him as
out of reach back then I said yes. He called
me a dumb butt for missing all of his flirting.
I said I thought he was joking. He asked if
I was serious about therapy. I promised i'd start monday.
He said he still wanted me, didn't want to throw

(13:18):
away a decade together and wanted to rebuild. He asked
if I'd like to go to that fancy restaurant that
opened last summer. I said yes, and he said he'd
make the reservation tomorrow. It was getting late, so we
moved to our bedroom. He went to shower while I
wrote on my laptop. He came back wearing just a
towel around his waist, and I couldn't take my eyes
off him. I missed his touch more than ever. I

(13:40):
hadn't been able to love him since before he left
for that week. He lay in bed, saying his back
was unliving him. I put my laptop aside and told
him to lie on his stomach. I massaged him for
about an hour. Neither of us said a word. When
I finished, I kissed his back and moved away. He
thanked me as he covered himself with a blanket. He
stared at me as I continued writing. When he said

(14:02):
he was going to bed, I said good night. I
love you, he said, and it made me freeze. I
wanted to throw my laptop away and kiss him so badly.
I felt like he wanted it too, but I was
scared of making that move. I told him I loved
him too, and we wished each other goodnight. I'm writing
this as he snores next to me. Right now, I
feel like I have a clear shot at this Now,
getting my husband back is my priority.

Speaker 5 (14:24):
There's a second update.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
Dude, I was not going to work out because one
you betrayed him, and two he's repaying you back by
being very controlling.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah, there's a second update. The morning felt slow, probably
because I was anticipating our date. My husband was heading
to the gym, so I made him sandwiches and sent
him on his way. He came back, showered and dinchores,
washed both our cars while I took care of the garden.
When it was time to get ready, I felt butterflies
in my stomach. Just watching him get dressed made my
heart skip beats. He looked so handsome. At the restaurant,

(14:56):
I told him he could drink since I'd be driving home.
He said he would in the mood for drinking, so
we both had what spicy flower?

Speaker 5 (15:04):
What you guys are insane?

Speaker 2 (15:07):
He was excited to try some exotic curry, and I
insisted he gets something else with it, something more suited
to his taste buds. What are you talking about? Talking
about the coca cola, but he's always been stubborn as
a mule, so naturally I had to finish my meal
and his because he didn't like it, then waited for
the burger he ordered. As he put it, sushi is
the furthest he'll go with unfamiliar food. We talked for hours,

(15:30):
reminiscing about our past friends we made and lost. He
went on about ongoing drama between him, his best friend
and another guy and their friend group. He was clearly
a bad fit from the start, the only red pill dude,
an otherwise open minded group. I hate this break up.
I like op he's writing this like it's cute. Yeah,
And even in the process of like actually writing it,

(15:53):
you know, like this is not just a you know,
recounting events like oh, he's actually trying to write it
in a certain style so that it's more cutesy.

Speaker 5 (16:02):
And I still hate it.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
I maybe hate it more.

Speaker 5 (16:05):
Break up. We divorced.

Speaker 6 (16:07):
I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
The conversation finally shifted to us. He asked how I
was feeling, but I didn't want to dwell on that.
I wanted to know what he was feeling. He said
he was angry at himself and blamed himself for letting
things get this far. I told him there was a
zero fault on his part. He asked what I do
if the roles were reversed. Before I could even think,
he said whatever I was thinking was wrong because I'd

(16:29):
never been cheated on, so I had no idea what
turmoil I'd paused. He said, when he was younger, he
always claimed he'd never stay with the cheater, but times
had changed, the situation was different. The betrayal was harsh,
but he understood I regretted it, which was why he
was giving me another chance. That and because I came
clean instead of him finding out on his own. I
started to apologize, but he stopped me, saying what's done

(16:51):
is done, and we needed to stop looking back and
move forward. Needless to say, we made out on the
couch for about an hour.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Okay, this was totally fanfic.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
I don't even believe that this was real.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
I don't believe it's real.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
I don't want to believe it's real.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
Someone just had a good time.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
I want to believe that it's fake.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
Made out for an hour, and that's where he ended.
Of course, he's a rider. Of course, that's where he's
gonna end it.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
I don't like that. You guys need a divorce.

Speaker 6 (17:15):
I mother in law stole my son's prize money, so
I called the cop.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
And this comes from one of you.

Speaker 6 (17:21):
Out there on the r slash okay storytime stubreddit.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Here he goes.

Speaker 6 (17:24):
My mother in law's neighbor invited me, twenty three female,
my fiance twenty three male, and our two kids three
male and two female, to an Easter thing they hold
every year, a glow Way in the Dark egg hunt.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
Everything was going well.

Speaker 6 (17:37):
My son ended up finding a prize egg of paper
in an egg that said prize. After we showed the
neighbor he got one. When they asked, they brought out
one of those big eggs. It had a five dollars
bill and lots of candy. By the way, this comes
from us, your blue Jolly rancher twenty and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash okay storytime stubreddit where this story was submitted. Mother

(17:59):
in law offered to take my kid's baskets back home
with her, as my fiance had felt bad and went
to use the restroom over there, and I had both
of my toddlers to wrangle at someone else's house whom
I didn't know. When my fiance came back, we said
our goodbyes and thanked everyone for including us in the hunt.
We went back to my mother in law's house and
the baskets were on the end of the couch. I
noticed immediately Frie's egg had gone missing. Hard to miss

(18:21):
as it was a huge egg with a clear part
to it. I asked my mother in law about it,
and she said she put it away for safe epic.
My fiance also asked her where the egg had gone,
and she said she took it back to the neighbor's house,
which was empty. Now the next day, being Easter, everything
was going well. We had our own hunt and everything,
and that evening I asked my mother in law about

(18:41):
the prize she had put away so that my son
could have it. We also planned on letting him choose
a couple snacks and toys from the dollar store with
the five dollars he got, and if.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
He went over, we were going to pay the remainder.

Speaker 6 (18:51):
She told me quote, I'm going to open an account
for the kids and put that in it.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
Mind you, number one.

Speaker 6 (18:57):
She didn't discuss this with me and number two, it's
not her money to do anything with. It's my son's money,
and she stole it. I e taking something that doesn't
belong to you anyway. I said, okay, what about the
candy from it so he can have some? And she
blew up at me, saying, I don't know, you probably
ate it. Which get out of my room with that
crazy crap.

Speaker 3 (19:16):
Why okay?

Speaker 6 (19:19):
I walked out of the room, and as I did,
because I was rightfully angry and insulted, I said, what's
crazy is taking.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Five dollars from a toddler.

Speaker 6 (19:28):
Immediately after I said that, as I was near the
bathroom door, barges out from her room and starts shoving
me and demanding I leave her house, which we had
stayed at for the past few months due to renovations
on our house and.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Her telling us to stay there.

Speaker 6 (19:42):
He shoved me through the entire house while I said
I'd leave, but I'm taking my kids with me. She
yelled at me to get the f out now, called
me a b multiple times, shoving me the entire time
while I had my arms raised above my head. So
her daughter, sister in law, and her husband, father in law,
and my fiance could see I wasn't doing a dang

(20:03):
thing anyway. She kept pushing me and blocking me from
getting to my kids, which made me increasingly more upset.
My fiance then got up and got her off me
so I could get our kids and exit the house.
After not only her physically shoving me, but her daughter
as well. I called the police because she had physically
shoved me and her daughter and bought me from getting

(20:24):
my kids. All that over five dollars and candy that
belonged to my son. So am I the a hole
for asking about where she put my son's money in candy?
I mean, I don't think that's the right question, oh pie.
I think the right question is should we have called
the police on a crazy old lady, which, when you
strip away all the contexts, that's what that sounds like.

Speaker 7 (20:43):
I mean, I don't think that she's necessarily in the
wrong for doing that. If she's asking, if she'd be
the a hole if she went back and asked for
it again, I say, hey, maybe give it up.

Speaker 8 (20:52):
It's five dollars in some candy. But I get the
principle of it.

Speaker 6 (20:55):
Yeah, it's still not even an a hole. It's more
just like a we're wasting our time.

Speaker 7 (20:59):
Right, it's gonna get what you want, it's probably gonna
end up getting shoved again.

Speaker 8 (21:03):
Let's just like not even take.

Speaker 7 (21:04):
The l because you like, let's just get out of
that situation.

Speaker 8 (21:07):
And not talk to her anymore.

Speaker 6 (21:08):
I mean, is there anywhere else we can stay with
the renovations going on at your place?

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Like?

Speaker 6 (21:13):
Is there? Because it sounds like, you know, like realistically,
the police aren't gonna do anything here.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
It's just gonna make the situation a little worse.

Speaker 7 (21:20):
Realistically, if you needed the police so that she would
stop shoving you, if she was like really being like persistent,
whether or like chasing you or something. Yeah, like okay, fine,
Like I get the police in that moment, but like
stop going back to it.

Speaker 6 (21:33):
Also, husband or his husband husband needed to be our
police in this situation.

Speaker 8 (21:36):
Way quicker husband may have been wrangling kids.

Speaker 6 (21:40):
Yeah, I know I might have been wrong to say
what I did, but seriously, taking five dollars for my
toddler without talking to me about it makes me so mad.
Why would you need to take my son's five dollars
with which we have been saying we would let him
pick out stuff with it that day and first off,
say you didn't touch his egg, but somehow have his
five dollars, and apparently you're gonna put it in the bank.

(22:00):
So am I in the wrong to even question it?
Not to mention, my father in law came at my
fiance with a heavy metal object in hand, and when
my fiance defended me and himself, my mother in law
tried to play victim. But as I was always told,
don't take stuff that isn't yours and don't put your
hands on people, I'm really tearing myself A part about
this also some context. I was eighteen when I moved

(22:21):
in with my fiance. Because of family issues, I had
always offered to help clean and do dishes around the house.
I got pregnant with my son at nineteen, but I
had been working and giving mother in law money for
our insurance on our car, et cetera, et cetera. When
I was pregnant with my son, I became violently ill,
to the point I lost fifteen pounds in a week.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
I had to be put on medication for that too.

Speaker 6 (22:40):
Mind you, I was still cleaning, et cetera, although not
as frequently because of my pregnancy and the symptom then
five months after my son was born, I found out
I was pregnant again With my daughter. We had already
moved out once prior, but the job my fiance had
didn't work out. Also, we've been engaged since our second anniversary.
My son was conceived five months later. Anyway, I suffered

(23:00):
severe PPD after my son was born, so much so
that I was diagnosed in the hospital two days after
my son was born. Mother in law said this when
I told her about it, quote, what do you have
to be depressed about? Also, father in law has a
drinking problem. From five am to the eight pm he
will drink. All they did prior was talked down on
me and call me names or just constantly talk crap

(23:20):
about me for absolutely no reason and constantly look for
reasons to say anything bad about me. They absolutely hated
when I would stand up for myself. I always tried
to be kind and connect with them with gifts, et cetera,
and always asking them how they were and genuinely wanting
to hear about how they were feeling or how their
day was. The gifts me or my fiance would give
them have gone unused or unworn or not even considered

(23:42):
now back to the main topic. After the cops were
called by me, I was threatened days later by my
father in law.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
He said, goll the cops owners again and you'll find out. Well,
good jes he's too drunk to probably get up out
of his chair. That's that's good news.

Speaker 6 (23:55):
Anyways, Now, my kids and I have absolutely no reason
to be in contact with them, and I don't want
them over there for any reason at all. Again, we
are in our owned home. I've been no contact with
them since the incident, other than going over there to
pick up my kids after my fiance had us drop
them off for a date night that was not planned
by me but my fiance and was only a quick

(24:16):
one hour meal. Don't want to leave your kids with them, Yeah,
not anymore, not after they're.

Speaker 8 (24:20):
Like, you're no contact?

Speaker 2 (24:21):
How are you?

Speaker 7 (24:21):
I guess, Okay, maybe wife's contact, husband's not. But why
are we leaving the kids there after they were.

Speaker 6 (24:27):
If dad's got a drinking problem, why are we leaving?
Why are we leaving the kids there? You know, a
baby not a great environment, but the children. The police
station called me and asked if I was going to
press charges for misdemeanors on my mother in law. I
decided not to only for the sake of less drama,
which is actually, spoiler alert, one of the best ways
to go about life. I have actually always cared about

(24:47):
my in laws. I'm just tired of them treating me
like garbage.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
There's plenty more I.

Speaker 6 (24:51):
Could share, especially due to the fact our nephew seven
sister in law's son was with me twenty four to
seven from the time I moved in until present day.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
Even after the drama, he's been welcomed in to our home.

Speaker 6 (25:00):
I had a friend post this for me before because
I lost my account but just regained access to not
being able to log in forgot the password. I just
need opinions on if I'm the a hole and should
have left it alone, or if I was right to
stand my ground, especially since it was my son's money
and candy, not mine, not mother in laws, but my
three year old son. Honestly, it makes me upset just
thinking about it, because it wasn't for me or my fiance,
but my son to spend. However, he wanted a bank

(25:23):
account to be opened costs one hundred dollars in the
first place. Why was it necessary to take my son's
five dollars batally.

Speaker 8 (25:29):
Doesn't cost a hundred. But I get what you mean.

Speaker 7 (25:33):
If you're distancing yourself, you're doing everything right already. It
was clearly awful, and you know the and we know that,
and everyone here knows that we know this.

Speaker 6 (25:42):
Someone I spoke to ask me, are you sure it
wasn't given to nephew?

Speaker 3 (25:46):
But I can't assume.

Speaker 6 (25:47):
Although it initially crossed my mind the day the altercation happened,
because why was she so upset I'd asked about it?
The explosion happened at the question about the candy. It
was a lot of candy that was different from the
normal Eastern candy, which I didn't care if she had
taken it. The kid didn't need all that much anyway.
She could have just said I hate it and that
would have been fine. I don't know. I guess y'all
can tell how upset I am because I'm rambling. We're
comfortable at home now and I've chosen to go no

(26:09):
contact and my kids won't be around them until they
can apologize. I've always been nothing but respectful towards them,
and I've stood up for myself only a few times
due to the BS father in law.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
Spewing away while wasted.

Speaker 6 (26:20):
Me and fiance I have been together for five years,
engaged for four and have our two children, two female
and three male and three male.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
Am I the a whole? No? No, No, you're not.
You're not.

Speaker 6 (26:31):
It'd be different, Like I think I'm not a parent,
but like I think given the context that like your
kid was the one like sort of.

Speaker 3 (26:37):
Slided here by three.

Speaker 6 (26:40):
Yeah, it's like I would be really upset about that
because it's not me. You're affecting my kid, You're affecting
your grandchild.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Sam here og host. We're going to get back to
these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

Speaker 9 (26:51):
First, I found unhinged messages on my boyfriend's phone.

Speaker 5 (26:56):
I want to report it.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
How unhinged?

Speaker 9 (26:59):
Hi, Reddit's I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend,
let's call him Fred, for two and a half years.
We're both physicians. He's thirty and I'm twenty eight. I'll
try to give you a full picture so I can
get accurate perspectives from you all.

Speaker 5 (27:11):
By the way, this comes from Babe.

Speaker 9 (27:14):
If you want me here, oh story, go to the
r slash Showcay story time to Supreddit.

Speaker 5 (27:21):
When we started dating, we saw each other almost every day.

Speaker 9 (27:23):
Now I only see him maybe twice a week as
he works twenty four hour shifts at two hospitals A
and B, with only one day off in between, which he.

Speaker 5 (27:32):
Spends mostly sleeping. He used to spend those days with me,
even if it was just a nap in my bed,
but not anymore. A bit of context.

Speaker 9 (27:40):
Fred lost his job at Hospital A last summer, and
due to financial issues. His childhood best friend will call
him Tom, helped him get into Hospital B in October.
Then in December, Hospital A re hired him, so now
he works at both. For my part, I worked at
a healthcare center that shut down and I haven't found
another job since. I've been depressed most of my life,

(28:00):
and I've had low self esteem despite often being told
I'm attractive. I suspect Fred also struggles with insecurity, but
he hides it behind an overly confident facade. We were
similar in some ways, but very different in others. Fred
has always had trouble showing empathy, especially when I cry.
To be fair, it often happened during fights, but the
things we fought over were often petty. For example, one

(28:22):
time during dinner with my family. He got furious because
I leaned over to see who viewed a story that
he had posted. He accused me of being jealous and
made me cry, yet offered no comfort. Early in our relationship,
we used to work together in the same building. Briefly,
that's how we met. I found out by checking his phone. Yes,
I know that before we got together, he was flirting

(28:42):
with nearly every woman at her workplace except me. In
chats with Tom, he described how he was shooting his
shot with all the women. It was humiliating, especially since
I had made the first move.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
Ooh dang man, he was so intimidated by you that
he couldn't do it, he was saying.

Speaker 8 (28:58):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
The last actually have been.

Speaker 9 (29:02):
A month into our relationship. I also caught him flirting
with another girl.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Uh oh.

Speaker 9 (29:07):
He has a very high libido and was honest about
it from the start. I, on the other hand, had
barely any libido before meeting him, but spicy sleep with
him was great. Unfortunately, I've gained weight from antidepressants and
ED treatment, and now I barely have any spicy sleep drive.
I once attempt itself harmonew I'm also planning to leave
the country to continue my studies. We had talked about

(29:28):
going together, but he seems to have forgotten that plan.
After going back to Hospital A about six days ago.
I went through his phone again. Six months earlier, I
had seen a message where he commented on a coworker's
skirt with Tom, and another where Tom sent a picture
of a patient's chart, which is Leah, a coworker from
Hospital A, and Fred replied, do a guynecological exam on

(29:50):
her please, which was gross but not conclusive since she
was actually there for a obgyn surgery.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
I don't think you hate it about that, though you wouldn't.
I assume you know, just text Doctors don't just text
each other. Hey, can you perform a GUYANO exam?

Speaker 6 (30:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:09):
They're like, Yo, this is like interesting readings.

Speaker 4 (30:12):
You really have to do this so I can understand
like what this really means.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yeah, they're like, hey, can you send some military to Yemen?

Speaker 4 (30:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (30:22):
That was a politics Around that time. Fred changed his
phone password, and we do have an edit. It seems
that everyone is reacting specifically bad towards this part.

Speaker 5 (30:31):
I want to note. I want to note that, and
all of.

Speaker 9 (30:34):
You might think I'm delusional, but Leah is Fred's friend
and a very chill coworker from Hospital A. He was
never mentioned again by Fred with Tom. Tom sent her
chart because she was at Hospital B and Fred already
knew that she was getting byboid surgery because they are friends.
Fred already knew that she was there in Hospital B,
so Tom's showing her chart was most likely him saying, hey, look,

(30:56):
she's already.

Speaker 5 (30:56):
Here, and Fred told him to please do an exam.

Speaker 9 (30:58):
On her to make sure that she's okay all because
Tom didn't laugh or anything.

Speaker 5 (31:03):
Okay, does that make sense?

Speaker 2 (31:04):
Oh Pee, you are reaching? Yeah, preaching? Oh oh pee.

Speaker 9 (31:09):
I checked again recently because I had this sinking feeling.
He's lied to me before, like when he came to
my place wasted and swore that he hadn't had a drink.
But nothing could have prepared me for what I found
this time. Fred and Tom have been regularly objectifying and
nearly every attractive woman that they work with. Some messages
include Fred on Nurse Monica, her body is amazing, but

(31:33):
it's delicious her kitty it must be wild, dude, I
was staring at her huge front airbag. I want to
suck them all the plastic comes out immediately.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
Hr yeah, ring ring ring, hr screenshot screenshots, screen shot,
here you go, literally the break up.

Speaker 5 (31:53):
That is so insane.

Speaker 9 (31:56):
Friends, Yeah, oh my god. Fred on nurse Elena, she
looked impossible to satisfy.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
She must be crazy a bed nice but.

Speaker 9 (32:09):
And Tom said, yeah, she says so. She claims herself
to be good. In bet Fred also sent Tom a picture.
These were already opened see want's picture pictures, so I
didn't see them of a woman. I suspect Monica or Elena.
Apparently some girls sent him a picture of selfie exercising
at home, and he said, you.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Won't believe this.

Speaker 5 (32:28):
Look how hot she is. Look at her exercising.

Speaker 9 (32:31):
At home, and since the weather is hot, and that
picture made him quote kind of Cordney. He claims that
they weren't sent directly to him, that those were actually
screenshots from a story and not from a chat with her.
Tom even joked, well, you see where she's going sending
you those pics. You should have two phones for you
to be able to save those pics, and Fred replied, nah,

(32:53):
I won't go that far. There was also another one
in April, in which Fred sent Tom a picture. Again,
I couldn't see those, to which Tom.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
Replied, oh my gosh.

Speaker 9 (33:02):
And then Fred said, you told me to shoot my
shot everywhere. There were also direct messages with some of
the women. He replied, pretty to one of Elena's stories,
he's one of those guys. His chats with Monica and
Beth seemed work related, but I suspect that he deletes messages.
His chat with Leah was empty. Then there was a
particularly disturbing message from Fred told Tom as students, I've

(33:25):
done with work on this shift. I'll go sleep with
Sam as in sleep next to someone during a shift. Wait,
what okay?

Speaker 2 (33:32):
All right?

Speaker 9 (33:33):
When I confronted him, he pretended to not know who
Sam was until I showed him proof that he follows
her on Instagram, and he changed his story, saying that
she was not on his shift, which was a lie,
and eventually admitted that she changed shifts in December, also
probably a lot. He keeps brushing all this off as jokes,
saying things like Monica's.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
Front airbags are ugly anyway, and no one ever set
me a picture. And then he's not shooting this shot
at all because he works really hard. And that's true,
I guess because I know it's not easy.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
To work in the er.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
This is what happens when people are raised on Gray's anatomy.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Oh is it? You're literally gaslighting yourself if OP comes
out of this as like, Okay, we're working on it.

Speaker 5 (34:14):
Yeah, girl, this man is disgusting.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah, Like, are you not embarrassed to be dating him?

Speaker 5 (34:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (34:22):
He's disgusting absolutely, I mean, terrible person in general. But
then also while saying all of these things while he's
literally dating you, literally dating is like in that like
I would, I mean, I feel like you couldn't technically
call that cheating, but like pretty much, I mean, yeah,
he's trying to feel the same. He's absolutely trying to cheat,

(34:43):
speaking as if he is Yeah, yeah. I mean like
it's commenting on girls things like pretty like that's yeah yeah,
but there's just too much, too many comments, too many lies.
I don't have concrete proof that he's physically cheated, but emotionally, mentally,
I feel like he's constantly only fishing for attention, testing boundaries,
looking at his coworkers in a spicy way, and mocking

(35:06):
women with his friend reading their chats. It made me
sick the way they talk about women like meat like
playthings is deeply dehumanizing. And it's not just one or
two messages, it's hundreds. And the worst part, he chose
to talk about all of this with his best friend
like it's normal. I feel so overwhelmed. I don't trust him.
I don't even know if I truly ever did. But

(35:28):
I also don't know if I'm overreacting. Is this something
men do just for fun?

Speaker 6 (35:32):
All?

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Come on?

Speaker 9 (35:33):
Are these just jokes? Or is this the ugliest kind
of red flagged? What would you do if you were
in my shoes? There is an edit for the people
saying that I should report him. I know that you're
completely right. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior has been normalized
in my culture. You see residents cheating all the time
with the nurses and such.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
This the thing is, this isn't cheating. This isn't Yeah,
two people who you know have made a decision together
to cheat on you know, their partners whatever. They are
two adults who have made am the decision. That's bad, sure,
totally different. That is a consensual agreement between those two parties.
This is two freaking creeps, Yeah, creep like freaking predators

(36:11):
who are commenting on all the professionals that they work with, yeah,
and saying disgusting.

Speaker 9 (36:18):
Things and also cheating on you exactly exactly. I was
in such a shock and still processing all of this.
My whole body is shaking from being so vulnerable by
sharing this post.

Speaker 5 (36:30):
And I also want to thank all the kind words.
I really needed them.

Speaker 9 (36:34):
Also, I do work but from home, but it's not
nearly as lucrative as working in a health center, which
has led to me not being able to pay my
therapist anymore. I LIKENEDO to immediately break up with her boyfriend, yeah, totum,
because I'm gonna be mad if that doesn't end.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
This is not someone you want to be with.

Speaker 9 (36:51):
It's not someone you want to eventually start a family
with and have sons with.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
You do not want this person to be around daughters.
You do not want this person to be raising suns. Nope, nope, nope, nope.

Speaker 5 (37:03):
There is a little bit of an update, so let's
get into it.

Speaker 9 (37:06):
I really didn't expect for so many people to respond
and to be so invested in this situation. It's even
funny to read some people saying it's fake. It's also
worth noting that I did use AI to improve my writing.
If I hadn't, I think I wouldn't have been able
to get my pointing cross. It's shocking seeing people's negative
reactions for everything, even for things that I talked about
early about our relationship that I didn't think were that bad.

(37:28):
I didn't plan to continue with this ugly story, but
since so many people are invested here, it goes Today.
I spoke with him, telling him that I'm going to
report him to his female bosses because he also spoke
about them, but I didn't add that, and he got
so mad that he told me that he's my enemy,
now what.

Speaker 5 (37:45):
And that we should break up. It's over.

Speaker 9 (37:47):
And he also responded with a threat, saying that that
was an illegal invasion to privacy and that he would
speak to his cousin who's an attorney, and that his
parents will find out about this.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
Come on, Nope, he doesn't need like, she's not the police,
she doesn't need a warrant.

Speaker 5 (38:00):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
Is it maybe bad for the relationship to snoop in
someone's phone? Yeah, sure, you're not on trial. Yeah, you
can snoop in your phone.

Speaker 9 (38:08):
That's that's also just a funny way of saying it. Too,
like like that's illegal. I'm gonna tell my parents about it.
Come on, like, that's that's not.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Just tell your parents what you were doing.

Speaker 5 (38:18):
So yeah, it's like great, I'll like, are you going
to tell them what I found?

Speaker 3 (38:22):
Everyone should know about this? Actually, yeah, please.

Speaker 9 (38:24):
Tell that everyone, right, And I'm very close with his parents,
so he will be prepared, and I told him, Okay.
What amazed me at that moment is that he would
be okay with his family finding out.

Speaker 5 (38:35):
The things that he says. But oh, well, that I
guess is for the best. It's all too overwhelming.

Speaker 9 (38:40):
But I do feel some clarity now and that is
the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
Wow.

Speaker 9 (38:45):
Well, I'm glad that OPI is out of that situation
because holy crap, Holy crap, man, yikes, yikes, Yi, my
boyfriend snuck out on me just to avoid parenting duties.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
Oh, because she's still a boy.

Speaker 5 (39:01):
My boyfriend and I have a three year old daughter together.

Speaker 9 (39:03):
He used to go away very occasionally by himself before
we had her, and this has increased quite a lot
since she was born. Not for long periods, just a
night or two. He also visits his daughter from a
previous relationship, which is fine.

Speaker 5 (39:16):
But I'm mentioning this as it's relevant later.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
By the way, this.

Speaker 9 (39:19):
Comes from additional whereas six and If you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime subbreddit. He is notoriously bad for informing me when
he is going away. He always claims he told me
and I forgot. There have been times where he has
arranged to see his daughter on weekends when plans have
already been made.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
These were all pre the VID.

Speaker 9 (39:42):
Once I had arranged for my mom to babysit for
our anniversary and for us to go out. Another time,
I was meant to be attending a baby shower and
needed him to watch our daughter. Another time, I had
arranged to go to the theater with a friend. His
daughter lives quite far away, so he wouldn't have made
it back in time to watch our daughter. He was
fully aware of all these plans, and he claimed that

(40:02):
he forgot When arranging to see his daughter. I didn't
ask him to cancel, as it is not fair on her,
so I had to make other arrangements in each case. Obviously,
he has been going away less because of restrictions. As
soon as they east. He has been going away. I
have never had a night away from our daughter. I
had made a couple plans, but each time a lockdown happened,

(40:24):
so obviously they got canceled. He says he encourages me
to go away and that he is not stopping me.
I have tried to explain that his going away so
much does stop me as someone needs to look after
our child.

Speaker 6 (40:36):
Yes, it's like, hello boy, do you not understand the
baby can't take care of itself right.

Speaker 9 (40:44):
It's not comfortable for either of my parents to watch
her yet, just in case of any risk in the summer,
once restrictions are lifted, I have arranged to see my
friend for a couple of days. I told him about
it and he said I couldn't do it on that
date because he was going on a cycle holiday.

Speaker 5 (40:59):
I told him that he hasn't told me anything.

Speaker 9 (41:01):
About this, and yet again he claims that he did
and I just forgot. He asked me to cancel it,
saying that I could go to my friends anytime. I
could rearrange it, but feel that I shouldn't have to.
He could also rearrange camping, so I have been refusing
and he is now in a sulk. Am I the
a hole for not rearranging my plans. And there is

(41:22):
a little edit. I had gotten a family calendar when
the issues of him double booking seeing his daughter arose.
Problem is he will only write in it if I
nag him to do so, or he will say that
he'll do it later, and not to treat him like
a child. The verdict from the comments is not the
a whole, but I want to hear your answer A
whole or not.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
Definitely not the ale.

Speaker 6 (41:43):
Your partner is child and I would immediately start pressuring
him like, look, if you can't do this stuff, clearly
like you don't want to be in our daughter's life
as much as you want to be in your other
daughter's life exactly. So if that's the case, let's just
go ahead and set up however much money you're gonna
send me. Yep, yes, I'm going to rerange my plans.

(42:07):
But can you watch the kid? No? No, I have plans. Well,
so I can't rearrange my plans. You absolute do fiz.

Speaker 5 (42:13):
So STPID there are some relevant comments.

Speaker 9 (42:16):
So in response to an INFO request about what the
boyfriend is like as a father, Oh, he says he
loves our daughter to pieces, but is very much for
the fun stuff. He has started helping a bit more,
but the last year he has been helping with part
time and bedtime. Before that, it was just me doing
those things. She wakes up regularly in the night. It
is always me attending to her because but he says

(42:38):
that it's not his fault he's a heavy sleeper. I
have had to wake him before when she has been
up from one am.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
She wasn't settling back down.

Speaker 9 (42:47):
And I have work in the morning, so I can
get a couple of hours of sleep before work. Small
update here, This is four months later. Whoa Okay, okay,
big jump. Now the baby's taking care of itself.

Speaker 5 (42:58):
Yeah, right, now she's old enough.

Speaker 9 (43:00):
So I had a word with him about the family
calendar and people's suggestions about if it's not on the calendar,
it doesn't exist, making.

Speaker 5 (43:08):
Sure my time away.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Was on there.

Speaker 9 (43:10):
He seemed to go along with it and said that
he would reschedule his cycle trip. Great, I thought, until
it came to the morning of the trip. My boyfriend
often gets up super early and I roll over and
go back to sleep, so I thought nothing of it
when he was up early.

Speaker 5 (43:24):
I see where this is going.

Speaker 9 (43:26):
I heard the door go, but just presumed that he
was taking out of the bins or something.

Speaker 5 (43:31):
But when I.

Speaker 9 (43:32):
Woke up, I couldn't find him and the car had gone.
I tried to phone him, but no answer. Some of
his stuff had gone.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
WHOA.

Speaker 9 (43:40):
I asked my neighbor to check his garage for my
boyfriend's bike where he keeps it, but it had gone.
Confused and quietly seething at this point, trying his phone
a couple of more times, nothing. I phone my friend
at this point, saying that I can find him and
will probably miss my train. But about midday I get
a phone call. He had gone on his trip. He

(44:03):
tells me to check the calendar. He has typed out
my writing and written in his trip. I say a
few choice words to him. He basically says that it's
my fall, as I should have gotten up earlier. So
I told him that he won and he is now
free to go on as many cycle trips as he once.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
Now. Oh, yes, and I bet you now, he goes, Wait,
but what do you mean by that? Are you mad?

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yeah? Do fish?

Speaker 3 (44:28):
I'm mad? Yeah, of course I'm mad at you.

Speaker 9 (44:31):
Like, go ahead, you go on your cycle trips. You
just can't see our daughter anymore.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
Yep. Sorry.

Speaker 9 (44:36):
Friends suggested taking the kids to the seaside because her
son is a similar age. We spent the next day
at the beach and had a nice time. I told
my boyfriend to not come back. He says, I'm overreacting,
but I am done.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Good for you.

Speaker 5 (44:51):
There is another small update, but yeah, take him to court.
You're like, okay, you I have not.

Speaker 9 (44:58):
Had a day off, like you change all these thing.
You're basically an absent father, only there for the fun stuff.
Like I'm wondering if even if she did go on
some sort of trip or go to a friend's house
or something.

Speaker 5 (45:07):
Would he even be able to take care of this child.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
Yeah, I feel like I'm gonna trust him. I doubt it.

Speaker 6 (45:12):
It doesn't sound like he really is the primary caretaker
of any of the kids. Yeah, you know, he's just
the fun parent that comes in with the gifts and
whatever for I guess for his other daughter.

Speaker 5 (45:23):
Just wants to enjoy a cute little baby.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (45:26):
He came back on Sunday. Unfortunately, can't change the logs
due to renting. He came back like nothing had really happened.
I calmly asked him to leave, as our daughter was
about He said he wasn't going anywhere and he will
watch her next week so I could go away.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
I said, I.

Speaker 9 (45:42):
Couldn't believe that he has completely missed the point of
what he has done. I called my brother and asked
him to pick us up. We have been staying there
until I can sort out the practical parts of the split.
My ex has called NonStop and turned up at my
brother's house, where my brother turned him away. He has
finally apologized. I said that I am still done. I

(46:04):
just don't have the energy or the will anymore. There
are some relevant comments in response to an info request
about who owns their residence we rent. Both names are
on the lease. I'm hoping that he will do the
sensible thing and stay with his friend. Unfortunately, the reality
is that I can't punt him out and change the locks.
And he is due back on the Sunday, and as
we know, he came back on some day.

Speaker 6 (46:25):
I would certainly not bet on him being reasonable.

Speaker 9 (46:29):
Oh, he says, I'm back at the flat now with
my daughter. Exus staying with the friend who has a
spare room. He is helping out with the rent a
bit until I can find somewhere more affordable. For the
last two weeks he has turned up on one Saturday.
He is giving me child sport at the moment, which
we are doing directly between us.

Speaker 5 (46:47):
He seems to think that he.

Speaker 9 (46:48):
Is just giving me space, despite the fact that I
have told him I am done. My priority for the
moment is making sure that my daughter is as settled
as possible. It has been very difficult for her not
having him about as much as she used to. I'm
still at the flat until the lease is up. My
ex is still at a friends as far as I know.
He has started seeing someone else and visits with our
daughter have become a little bit sporadic. But it's only

(47:11):
been a month and he only sees her once a
week anyway, So I will give it a little bit longer,
and if it keeps changing, then I think I may
have to go to court. But I don't want to
stop her from seeing her dad, but also don't want
him constantly.

Speaker 5 (47:24):
Letting her down. And there is an update.

Speaker 6 (47:27):
Well, at least he did the sensible thing of not
fighting over the apartment. But it's that's nice, you know,
He's just fun Dad times only. Yeah, can't really show
up on a day to day.

Speaker 5 (47:41):
Yeah, exactly. I feel broken.

Speaker 9 (47:44):
I reconciled with my ex and he blew our holiday
fund in a spicy club. Oh my gosh, this is
one year since the original post. We co parented together
well for a while. Then he started seeing someone and
became disinterested in our daughter. Wonder if he's got another
one on the way with this new person.

Speaker 6 (48:04):
Yeah, this guy's trying to repopulate the earth.

Speaker 5 (48:07):
Yeah, he seems like it.

Speaker 9 (48:10):
Fast forward to three months ago, he started to show
interest again in seeing our daughter because he was single again.
I tried to keep it purely about her, but I
gave in. I let myself be sucked in with his
crappy promises. I agreed to start dating him again.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
I will be honest.

Speaker 9 (48:23):
My heart had broken the last six months for my daughter,
and if I had a chance to make it work,
I felt that I owed it to her. We said
that we would go on holiday together, so we started
putting some money in a jar kept in my flat.
This weekend, he said that he would take it to
book a holiday and put the rest in himself. It
was about three hundred pounds. I didn't see him after
he left the flat, still living separately, so I didn't

(48:46):
think anything of it. One of his friend's girlfriends texted
me this morning and told me that they had all
been on.

Speaker 5 (48:52):
A stag too. Oh British slang.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
What even is that?

Speaker 3 (48:57):
It's a bachelor party? Whatever sounds good?

Speaker 5 (49:00):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (49:01):
Hope he I'm so upset that you got back with
this guy.

Speaker 6 (49:04):
You forgot how exhausted you were after those six months.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
I get it, poor poor op.

Speaker 6 (49:10):
You're doing it for your daughter, but like, man, this
is not the arrangement exactly.

Speaker 9 (49:15):
Her boyfriend had mentioned it, and my ex was dropping
a lot of money in there. I confronted him and
he admitted to using the holiday money. I just don't
know what to do. We are done, forever done, but
I just don't know how I will move past this.

Speaker 5 (49:30):
And there are some relevant comments.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
Well, i'll tell you. The first step is don't get
back together with him.

Speaker 5 (49:36):
Yeah, there are some relevant comments.

Speaker 9 (49:38):
Galaxyan Warrior says, I can't believe you actually got back
together with him. You've been burned time and time again.
He only took interest in your daughter after he broke
up at the person that he was seeing. He is
not a good father to her. That's all you need
to know. Ohp he says, I feel like an idiot.
He kept saying how irrational it was to leave him
in the first place over something so minor, How my

(49:58):
stubbornness was affecting our daughter.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Ough.

Speaker 9 (50:01):
Finally it came to the realization that I was setting
up my daughter for a poor image of how you
should be treated. I want to be better for her.

Speaker 5 (50:08):
I currently am just in contact with his mom, and
if he wants to see her, it will be via her,
at least for the time being. And there's an update too.
Let's just jump right into it.

Speaker 3 (50:19):
Let's go.

Speaker 9 (50:20):
So this is two months since that previous update. Turns
out he is going to be a father again.

Speaker 2 (50:26):
I literally called it.

Speaker 3 (50:28):
I literally called it straight up.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 9 (50:31):
From what I can gather, the woman is past the
twelve week mark. When I was dropping off my daughter
for the weekend, he mentioned the pregnancy and whether he
could have the baby stuff that I had from when
our daughter was little that we were saving for a
potential second. I told him that he is welcome to
take anything that he bought, which is the grand total
of a novelty.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
Baby grow and a hat obviously.

Speaker 9 (50:53):
Now I don't need the stuff, and I don't know
if I'm being petty, but I told him, and no,
absolutely not. He hasn't even seemed to acknowledge to the
fact that he got her pregnant when we were trying
to get back together.

Speaker 5 (51:04):
But that's a battle that I just can't get the
energy to fight.

Speaker 9 (51:08):
My ex mother in law has remained pretty neutral, and
I have a pretty good relationship with her, but she's
been putting a bit of pressure on me to give
him the stuff. Am I the a hole for not
even considering passing the baby stuff onto him? D from
the comments is not the a hole? And that's my
answer to yeah, the whole Yeah, we were trying to
get back together. So either you cheated on her with

(51:29):
me or you're cheated on me with her. Either way,
if you.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Just an absolute buffoon, yeah, of a.

Speaker 9 (51:37):
Man, there are some relevant comments. Nico nine says, not
the a hole, don't do it. He's he absolutely does
not deserve it. Did you even ever get the three
hundred back that he stole? OPI says no, If I'm honest,
I didn't really talk to him after that. Anything to
do with our daughter goes it via his mom. I
want to try and maintain my composure for my daughter.

(51:58):
I couldn't cope with this bull excuses any more. He
doesn't seem to think that he owes me anything. And
update number three, we're gonna jump right into it. This
is ten months now since this last update. If we're
keep in track, the baby is now five. My ex
had a baby boy. Finally he finally got the son
that he wanted. That's can you imagine that's why it's

(52:20):
doing it?

Speaker 3 (52:22):
Maybe that was what it was. Is that what he's saying.

Speaker 9 (52:24):
Trying again, he's like, you can It's like it's like
King Henry with all his wives. He's like, you can't
give me a son, So gone with you. We'll try
the next one, and then no one can give him
a son, and like guiotine next, yeah, exactly. I ended
up giving him the very few items that he bought
for our daughter, which mainly consisted of novelty hats and
novelty baby grows.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
I think our thoughts are the same.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
They're the same that as they've been all of this
whole time.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
So let's just wrap this thing up.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
You are worth more than this pathetic man.

Speaker 9 (52:54):
Yeah, Unfortunately he has little to do with our daughter.
He has let her down many times since the new
baby came. I won't close the door, as I want
to be able to hold my head high and tell
her I never stopped him seeing her, even though a
big part of me wants to tell him to do
one British slang. It breaks my heart that she gets
so excited and he lets her down. I have toyed

(53:15):
with going to court and make him fight for visitation.
I just don't think that he cares enough. On a
positive note, my daughter is very happy and my brother
and his wife are very.

Speaker 5 (53:24):
Involved, so she can see what a healthy relationship looks like.

Speaker 3 (53:27):
That is good.

Speaker 6 (53:27):
But I do say, definitely do the visitation stuff if
he's constantly letting your daughter down.

Speaker 9 (53:34):
I'm uninterested in meeting anyone at the moment, but maybe
one day I'll dip my footback. And i also got
a promotion at work, so I'm in a much happier
place now.

Speaker 5 (53:42):
That is the end of that story. But yeah, I agree.
It's like I think.

Speaker 9 (53:47):
Your daughter, especially once she grows up, I think she
will be more disappointed from the fact that her father
is so unpredictable like this than in the fact of
like you potentially protecting her from that. I think you
should definitely stop him and she'll I don't think she'll
care that you just like, you know, let him try

(54:10):
and try again.

Speaker 6 (54:11):
Well, if you go through like the courts and create
a visitation process and then he doesn't show up to that, yeah,
there's no way he can ever try to spin like,
oh well I was being It's like, no, no, you.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
Just did not show up. Yeah, yeah, no one was
keeping you from doing this.

Speaker 6 (54:27):
There was a whole arrangement we had, and you refuse
to show up exactly, and so if you know, and
then he can be held accountable for that. Yeah, he's
John og Host. We don't get back to the stories,
but a quick free minute break of ads from our sponsors.
My fiance refused to change her last name after marriage
and now I want to break up.

Speaker 5 (54:45):
Wow, didn't know you were anti feminist?

Speaker 6 (54:47):
What a few weeks ago, my fiance twenty seven female,
and I twenty eight male. We're talking about our wedding,
which is scheduled for June of next year, and our honeymoon.
At one point I jokingly said something to the effect
we'll see about that future missus my last name, and
she visibly cringed. She told me she isn't going to
be missus my last name. By the way, this comes

(55:11):
from user a chemical seesaw at ninety nine and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slagh.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
Okay story, I'm say.

Speaker 6 (55:16):
About it, sure, I said, Okay, then I'll be mister
her last name, because I don't really care if she
takes my name or I take hers. I just want
to share one. She said, no, I'm keeping my name
and you can keep yours. I asked who our future
kids would be named after. She said her, because she's
the mother, so I'd be the odd one out. Edit

(55:38):
to add I should have clarified this, but she's also
opposed to hyphenating. She's adamant we should each keep our
own last names and any future kids will only have hers.
For context, I grew up in a foster care after
both of my parents passed away. I didn't have any
other biological families, so I was bounced around from home
to home from the ages of five to eighteen. When
I aged out, I never felt welcome in any of

(55:59):
those foster homes. I never felt like I had a
real family. I always swore i'd have a real family
one day, though, so naturally, I want to share a
last name with my wife and our kids. I truly
don't care what name mine hers a new one that
we both choose. I don't care. It doesn't matter to me.
I just want a real family that I feel connected to.

(56:19):
Have you said that exactly that way? That sounds like
the exact thing to say right to your wife?

Speaker 5 (56:27):
Let her know, man communication.

Speaker 6 (56:30):
She needs to and if she does know that, and
she's still saying this, yikes.

Speaker 5 (56:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (56:35):
We've been dating for three years and engaged for almost
five months, and this is the first time that she
said she doesn't want to share a name. Previously, she
never said anything when I called her the future missus
my last name, So either this is.

Speaker 3 (56:46):
New or she had been holding it in.

Speaker 6 (56:48):
I've tried to talk to her about why she doesn't
want either of us to change our last name, but
she doesn't want to discuss it further, and I met
a loss of what to do.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
Would it be an overreaction to break up over this?

Speaker 6 (56:58):
Since she won't talk talk to me about her reasons,
She's acting like everything is normal, so I don't know
what to think. Thank you to all who replied or
sent messages, except those calling me a misogynist for even
suggesting she changed her name. I've decided to try to
have one more serious conversation with her about my feelings
on this subject. I've packed a box with all the

(57:18):
things she's left in my house, so if it doesn't
go well, I'll return her belongings and end things. We're
meeting at a park, and I have a good friend
who's going to stay nearby but unseen, just in case
things go south. If for no other reason, then I
have a witness that I tried everything I could to
talk things out. There are some comments, but I mean,
if that really is look, I mean, clearly, this is

(57:39):
a very big deal to you. This is like something
that you absolutely want out of a marriage and out
of a family. Is that y'all share a name? And if,
like for some reason, your dear partner is diametrically opposed
to that idea, well then I think it won't work ally,
mom of four, Why is she so opposed to it?

Speaker 3 (57:59):
Has she said? Why? It's something very important to you?

Speaker 6 (58:02):
Is it important enough that it could be the end
of a relationship that would otherwise be headed towards marriage.
I don't think you are overreacting at all. Your feelings
are completely valid. She may not want to talk about
it anymore, but she's going to have to if she
wants the relationship to work in the end. Only you
know what your deal breakers are, Opie says. She won't
tell me. When I ask, she says she won't discuss

(58:24):
it further and stops speaking unless I change the subject.
Gray Dog thirteen sixteen says, what did that interaction look
like the last time it happened? Opie says, she said
she didn't want to discuss it and walked away. I
really feel like if you pull, like the move where
it's like, if we can't discuss this, then this relationship
is fundamentally over.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
I feel like she'll I don't know that stream to me. No,
but it's like that's but that's his position.

Speaker 6 (58:48):
It's like, I'm not going to continue to move forward
and go to marriage if you're like we can't have
the same name.

Speaker 5 (58:53):
She's not willing to communicate.

Speaker 9 (58:55):
I think that is something more serious to take into
account in like a in a relationship. Obviously, like the
name thing is important to him, So I don't want
to make it seem like that's not serious. But yeah,
to break up only like only over that feels extreme
right now. But again, like I think you can bring
up like, hey, like if we're going to go into
a marriage, we need to be able to communicate.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
Yeah, especially I'm going to have kids.

Speaker 9 (59:18):
Like that's an even bigger like underlying issue to this.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Yeah, I think you're right.

Speaker 6 (59:23):
It's it's more that just like it's like, what happens
if there's something else we need to talk about and
you pull this Yeah, like Miroku zero zero zero replies,
this is more concerning than the original problem. She can
choose not to take your name, but she can't unilaterally
choose to tell you that you can't take her name,
and she can't unilaterally decide about the kids either. The

(59:45):
next time she walks away, ask her to set a
time when she will be ready to talk about it.
If she's unwilling to do so, then start playing the
same game about any wedding planning. Tell her you don't
want to set a date until you resolve the issue
with you being excluded from the family balcony, HERB says,
Tell her you'd like to change name and why she
may not realize the reason for it, and maybe projecting
her desire to maintain her name on you. If she

(01:00:07):
can't hear you and understand how hurt you are, I'd
be second guessing as well. Since you aren't imposing a
change on her, it's worth a discussion. OPI says, she
knows why. She knows all about my past. Interesting asks, Uh,
does she know why because she knows your past? Or
does she know why because you've explicitly spelled it out
to her. Some people don't connect dots very well. Op says,

(01:00:30):
I've told her very clearly why I want this, and
up until recently she seemed to understand. And there is
an update.

Speaker 9 (01:00:38):
Yeah, so she understands why he wants this, but it
is still like doesn't want to talk about it.

Speaker 6 (01:00:45):
That's and I think that, at the end of the day,
would be the deal breaker more than like, well, it's
like the names. It's more like like this, The way
that we're behaving with each other right now unsustainable. It's
both of them can't she's not speaking, she's not being clear,
she's not being open.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
He can't be open because she won't have the conversation.

Speaker 6 (01:01:04):
Yeah, so there, it's just like again, what happens when
this is something else?

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Right? We met up at a park today.

Speaker 6 (01:01:12):
I asked her late last night if she could meet
me to talk about something, and she immediately agreed because
it seemed she thought it was about the wedding. My
friend was with me but waited in my car so
he wouldn't be spotted. But I did decide to turn
on the voice recorder on my phone because in the
past she's manipulated her telling of certain situations to make
it seem like she's blameless.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
Red flag.

Speaker 6 (01:01:33):
I overlooked it before because I thought she was just
used to getting her way, but now I realized that
was a mistake on my part. So I got there
early and walked around for a few minutes before meeting
up with her in a picnic area. I asked her
to sit down with me because I needed to ask
her some very important questions about our future. I told
her I needed answers, and I needed her to give
me enough respect as a human to not walk away
when I'm trying to talk. I started by explaining again

(01:01:56):
how I've never felt like I was part of a
real family since I lost my parents, and how important
it is to me that I feel that connection to
my wife and kids. It may seem like a small
thing to most, but to me, it's huge. I've lived
most of my life feeling like I'm completely alone. She
told me she knows how hard my life has been,
and now I have her, so I'm not alone anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
Then I asked her if.

Speaker 6 (01:02:18):
She could please explain to me exactly why she is
so vehemently against us having the same last name, if
she acknowledges that she knows how important it is to
me that I share a name with my wife and kids,
so I feel like I'm in a real family and
not an outsider. I reminded her that I don't expect
her to take my name, and I'm more than willing
to take hers to hyphenate or come up with something different. Entirely,

(01:02:43):
I just want to share a name with my wife
and kids so we are one family unit.

Speaker 3 (01:02:48):
Her response to that was surprising. She rolled her eyes
and told me it's quote so cringey when people have
the same last name after they get married. That was
her sole reason for us not sharing an I God,
I don't believe her.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
I have so ah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
At this point, I honestly don't believe her. I'm like,
what's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
Do you?

Speaker 6 (01:03:08):
Are you secretly married to someone else? Does someone not know?
Are you in a relationship with another person? I don't
know about what is going on here to where if
your name changed, something in your life gets exposed.

Speaker 3 (01:03:19):
What's happening.

Speaker 9 (01:03:21):
It's possible that she's just so against any sort of tradition,
which you know, sure you could be against it, I guess,
but like, because it's cringey, girl, grow up.

Speaker 3 (01:03:35):
That almost could have been worse than anything she could
have said.

Speaker 8 (01:03:37):
It's literally like that evokes such.

Speaker 5 (01:03:40):
A reaction to me.

Speaker 9 (01:03:41):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (01:03:42):
She went on a whole rant about how she thinks
it's cheesy when she meets a couple and they introduced
themselves as the Blanks, the Smiths, the Jones, the whatever's,
and then it makes her want to throw up when
she hears it, and so many other ways, and it
makes her angry. When I brought up the fact that
her parents have the same last name because they're married,

(01:04:02):
she said that's different and I wouldn't understand because of
being an orphan, which really threw me.

Speaker 5 (01:04:08):
WHOA, what are you telling me about that's different.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
Your parents are marry you and they have the same name.

Speaker 6 (01:04:14):
She said, that's different and I wouldn't understand because of
being an orphan, which really threw me.

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
Long story short.

Speaker 6 (01:04:20):
I let her know that I need some time to
myself to really think things over and decide how I
want to move forward. I asked her to give me
time and I would let her know when I'm ready
to talk. She didn't like hearing that, but I told
her I needed to leave. So now I'm at home
thinking about everything and wondering how to move on. I
know the relationship is over, but I haven't made the
breakup official yet. It's going to hurt for a long time,

(01:04:43):
but I know what I need to do for my
own mental health. I can compromise on some things, but
I can't be with someone who won't also compromise. Her
belongings are still packed up and my friend has offered
to drop them off once I end things with her. Luckily,
I live in a gated condo community, so once I
take her name off the approved visitors list, she won't
be able to come to my house. Think I know

(01:05:04):
she won't react well when I tell her we're over
and that's all. I'm gonna take some time for myself
and try.

Speaker 3 (01:05:10):
To get over everything.

Speaker 6 (01:05:11):
And being an engagement is tough, and I don't wish
this heartbreak on anyone. And we have some comments. Tn
Bell zero five two to two says, she seriously tried
weaponizing the very reason that you want to have the
same last name as your spouse and kids when trying
to tell you why you wouldn't understand why her parents
sharing a last name isn't cringey.

Speaker 3 (01:05:33):
But other couples are.

Speaker 6 (01:05:35):
Seriously, I'd say she doesn't deserve a discussion for the breakup.
Write a letter, put it in her box of crap,
and have the friend leave it at her door, unless
the ring is an heirloom and you want it back,
of course, in that case, make sure you get it
away from the witch.

Speaker 3 (01:05:49):
What the what?

Speaker 6 (01:05:50):
Three two one four says And she still doesn't make
sense anyway, because how are her parents, a married couple
that share the same last name, any different than any
other read a couple sharing the same last name. I'm
sure if OPI had pressed her to define how it's
different for them, she would have come back with the
air tight argument it just is Opie should let them know.

(01:06:11):
Apparently their daughter thinks they're the only married people out
there who aren't cringey for doing what most married couples do.
There is literally no logic to her argument, just some
odd sentimental pass for her parents but no one else.
She has no empathy for her fiance whatsoever. And there
is a second update six days later. I anticipate this
just being and she's trying to be a nightmare because

(01:06:33):
you shouldn't be gone.

Speaker 3 (01:06:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:06:35):
Yeah, her logic absolutely does not make sense because she's
not even offering any like she's she just said that
it's cringey for them to do it, and yeah, it
won't go any further into the explanation about why it's
not with her parents.

Speaker 6 (01:06:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:06:50):
So yeah, this is this is a big, big red flag.
I'm so glad that they're not like actively getting married.

Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
Yeah, not anymore.

Speaker 5 (01:06:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:06:59):
I can't think of a more cringey thing than having
literally zero empathy for your orphaned fiance's like, I want
to share a name with my beautiful family. I don't
care who it is. It's not about me, it's just
about us all having a name. Oh and you're like,
you gross, that's giving me the ick. Yeah, it's like
what it's like? Okay, well you have fun being single

(01:07:21):
because we're breaking up.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
Literally six days later.

Speaker 6 (01:07:25):
I went to work on Monday and my boss could
tell I was depressed, so she asked me what was
going on. I explained everything that I had on my
mind and the conversation I had to have over the weekend.
She asked me if I wanted a distraction from everything,
and offered to have me accompany her and her husband,
who are co owners of the company I work for,
on a short trip to meet with some potential clients.

(01:07:45):
I would be working on the project anyway, so she
thought it might be good to have me in the meetings,
especially if I needed to get out of town. So
early Tuesday morning, the three of us left for the meetings.
We were busy all afternoon and part of the evening,
so I wasn't checking my personal So at ten pm
I saw I had a lot of missed calls I
wonder from who and texts from my fiance By a lot,

(01:08:09):
I mean over fifty texts and nineteen missed calls since
that morning. It seems she went to my condo and
when security wouldn't let her in since I took her
off my list of approved visitors. She flipped out, so
she started calling and texting me. Then she started trying
to contact our mutual friends and her family, none of.

Speaker 3 (01:08:25):
Whom knew where I was either.

Speaker 6 (01:08:27):
Her last ditch effort to get me to answer her
was to threaten to call the police and say she
hadn't seen me in days and was worried for my safety,
and when I didn't answer right away, she went through
with that plant. The police were allowed to enter the
condo community, and when I didn't answer my door, they
couldn't do anything else and left. This didn't please my fiance,
and she kept calling and texting. When I saw the

(01:08:49):
calls and messages, I sent one text and I reply
that only said I'm on a work trip until Thursday.
Please respect my need for time to think about everything.
We will talk when I get home. Then I ignored
everything from her for the rest of the week while
I was away. Fast forward to Thursday evening. We land
back in the city and I drove home wanting to
go to bed and sleep in the next day since
I was given the day off. I guess she was

(01:09:12):
lurking nearby because I was told later. She tried to
follow me into the gate, but was stopped by security
since she never scanned a parking pass. That's when she
starts blowing up my phone again. I texted back one
more time to tell her to give me space and
we would talk later, then showered and went to sleep.
What's so funny about this, too, is that she was

(01:09:33):
the one who would go like, we're not talking about
this anymore, and then we just walk away. And then
you do it to her and she literally has a
fatal meltdown, like in her computer brain where it's like.

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
No, no, no, wait, I'm gonna call you seventy two times.

Speaker 9 (01:09:46):
You would think there would be like a learning experience
for her of being.

Speaker 5 (01:09:49):
Like whoa self reflection?

Speaker 3 (01:09:51):
But no, clearly not. She can't. There's nothing else to reflect,
it's just the self. Yep.

Speaker 6 (01:09:56):
So that's when she started blowing up my phone again.
I texted back one more time to tell her to
give me space and we would talk later, then showered
and went to sleep. By Friday morning, I had seventy
three more texts and thirty two missed calls. At that point,
I knew I had to just end things with her.
Sooner rather than later, so I could get some peace.
Long story made short. As of yesterday afternoon, I've ended
the engagement. I took the same friend who was nearby

(01:10:19):
last weekend so i'd have a witness in case she
did anything. She refuses to give the ring back because
she thinks I'll come to my senses soon and she'll
keep it until then. I don't even care she can
have it. I think Op has done the right thing.
It was that you gotta call it. Yeah, you realize
that your partner is completely unfit for partnership.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
It seems like it sucks that.

Speaker 9 (01:10:44):
You know, being ready for marriage and talking about marriage
is kind of how you ended up here. But at
the same time, you know you learned something new about
your partner every day. It's still an important conversation to have.
It's still good that you are not.

Speaker 5 (01:11:00):
Quite married yet before figuring out this and huge red flag.

Speaker 3 (01:11:05):
It's good it happened before the wedding.

Speaker 6 (01:11:07):
Yes, her friends and family started calling me within fifteen
minutes of me ending things. I've blocked them all since
they're being nasty to me and blaming me.

Speaker 3 (01:11:15):
For it all.

Speaker 6 (01:11:16):
Judging by what they're saying, it seems like she made
up a story about me having a mental health crisis
and wanted to be alone again. I don't even care
my good friends were told what happened when my friends
sent out a text with a brief explanation. I hope
she leaves me alone so I can heal from everything
over time. I'm just so emotionally exhausted. There are some comments.

(01:11:37):
Lincoln Hawk calling says you've been more than reasonable with
her on this issue. You even offered to take her
name if she didn't want yours. You thoroughly explained why
Sherry a name was very important to you. She instead
chose to ignore all of that and drew her line
in the sand. I don't know what she was expecting. Honestly,
it sounds like you dodged a bullet. If you hadn't
had this argument and went through with your plan for marriage.

(01:11:58):
It appears she had very little, well if any, respect
or consideration for you. Glad you are free of her
now and can finally have some piece op the real
Carpe Felis says, I think she loves having control and
getting to have everything her own way, far more than
she ever loved op A lot of commenters are saying
she sounds unhinged. I agree, but I think it's more

(01:12:19):
than just that you've described before how she always has
to have her way. I think the name issue was
a power play on her part, because the cringe thing
sounds like utter bs she made up on the spot,
and now that you've broken it off with her, she
lost the upper hand, and now she's pissed. You definitely
haven't seen or heard the last of her. She's going
to get vindictive and you'll probably need a restraining order.

Speaker 3 (01:12:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:12:41):
I was gonna say, we should definitely get ahead of
any false narratives that she's putting out there. If people
are reaching out to you, you know, at whatever her
family unit. Your friend seems to have already taken care
of it on the friend's side, But in terms of
her family I would just send out a brief group
message to them and be like, this is the last
I'm not going to respond to it anything that could
send here. I'm just sending the real story. Yeah, exactly,

(01:13:03):
and then that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
Yes, it is.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} I CONFESSED my affair to my husband… because the guilt is too much! - r/marriage | Reddit Stories