I cut off my EX without letting him explain… because the situation is weird!-r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dearest John, it's been a fortnight since I felt your
warm embrace.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay
Storytell podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious
story that I think you'll love.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Sincerely Sam. But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak
must happen. I bid thee farewell. See you in two minutes.

Speaker 4 (00:19):
I cut off my ex without letting him explain because
the situation is weird.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
I don't need to hear your story.

Speaker 4 (00:27):
Okay, you're good. I, twenty female, broke up with my
ex boyfriend Hiram.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
He is twenty two mail and I broke over with
him two days ago.

Speaker 4 (00:34):
We met on a dating app a few months back
and officially dated for less than a month. During this time,
I met his sister, Daphne twenty one female, and i'd
also meet Hiram in person. When I met him in person,
things went well and he made a good impression on
my friends. By the way, this comes from Levy Athena
seven seven seventy five two and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

(00:55):
story Time Separate it.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
So what's the problem.

Speaker 4 (00:58):
The problem was that something didn't feel right about his
relationship with Daphne, not that anything was inappropriate between them,
just that things didn't make sense.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
And fell off.

Speaker 4 (01:07):
I won't give too many examples for privacy reasons, but
I will say that the two main events that rang
alarm bells in my head were the time that Hiram
insisted that I told him something that i'd actually told
Daphne instead.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
The other one was when he showed me his family tree.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
That he'd spent a long time working on, and Daphne
wasn't on there, but his brother was. When I asked
about it, he said that he didn't add her, But
upon deepening it further, it doesn't make sense because we're
from a community where family history is hella important, and
it's hard to believe that he'd trace his family back
by centuries upon centuries but not at his own living sister.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
The more I thought about it, the less sense it made.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
Things basically came to head when I asked about family
pictures and he said that he.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Had none, and neither did his parents.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
You liar, he yeah, No one has vissures, right, no
one's ever tato were vampire's right. Usually I wouldn't question
people's faily traditions or dynamics. But it felt dodgy that
she wasn't in his family tree, and now he couldn't
even show younger photos. He's previously explained that she wasn't
close to the family, which I understand because my sister
is estranged from the family too. But I still show

(02:15):
pictures of us as kids and talk about her a
lot despite being no contact. For me, that comes with
getting to know me, getting to know my family through
me too. Maybe that's just me, and that's okay. Regardless,
the family photo thing was the final straw for me,
and I couldn't see you way forward because I felt uneasy.
The day after that conversation, I dumped him over the phone.
I didn't want to flat out accuse him of lying,

(02:35):
especially without any definitive proof, so I explained that I
didn't feel like I could trust him, and it was
partly due to how he'd react to when I.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Would talk about his sister.

Speaker 4 (02:43):
I also reflected a bit, and I said that I've
got some inner work to do and he deserved better
than me. The conversation lasted five minutes and was hecka awkward.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
He was understandably upset.

Speaker 4 (02:54):
Also, immediately after, Daphne messaged me saying that she heard
what happened and kind of went off on me. Oh oh,
I thought you weren't that close to the family though. Oh,
but she weren't really there.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
How'd you know so fast?

Speaker 5 (03:05):
Hmmm.

Speaker 4 (03:06):
She accused me of not trusting her, which isn't exactly true.
I was more suspicious of her brother. She kind of
tried to claim that I clearly had hard feelings towards them.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I didn't.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
Following the phone call, I kept getting a lot of
messages from Hiram and Daphne, mainly ranging from shifting the
blame on me, I'll take it, to giving me instructions
to even making it out.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
Like I was lying about how I felt.

Speaker 4 (03:28):
I had to take them both off my do not
disturb exception list so that I wouldn't reply immediately. Both
Hiram and Daphne messaged me saying that he hadn't moved
for hours after the call. Obviously, this with the messages
from Hiram made me worried that he seriously wasn't taking
it well, so I found his coworker on Instagram and
messaged them to check in on him to make sure
he's okay since I he did space. The next day,

(03:49):
I woke up to him messaging me asking to not
message his friends, and I'll admit I.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Was a little pissed off.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
I asked him what I should do instead and if
I had misstepped. I also told him that he'd made
me feel like a monster when I was just worried.
This was then followed by an apology and just more
awkward messages.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Here's where I risk being the a whole and one
of the last few messages, he'd asked if he could
call me again so that he could explain his side.

Speaker 4 (04:14):
Usually I would hear people out, but after his behavior,
I don't know if I just want to end it
here for good or let him explain himself. My friends
agreed that the whole situation about Daphne was just extremely
off and we're worried that she may not be who
they say she is. I'm scared that if I let
him explain myself, there will be expectation for me to
take him back, and after seeing his reaction to this
whole thing, I don't think I can get.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
Involved with him again. But also, if I don't hear
him out. I fear it may be unfair of me.

Speaker 4 (04:40):
So if you've read this far, first of all, thank you,
and second of all, don't hesitate to leave your opinion.
I actually really need it. So would I be the
ahle if I don't hear him out? And there's a
quick edit. When I say I met Daphne, I meant
that I'd met her online on Instagram after removed our
conversation off the dating app, not in person. And there
is an update. But do you think op would be

(05:01):
the a hole? Okay, just to recap, of course.

Speaker 6 (05:05):
So so far, Opie knows that Hiram has told her
that Daphne is his sister, refuses to show any proof
of this, refuses to let them really meet. Besides, like
her harassing op on Instagram. And now instead of trying
to like be like, yeah, this is my sister, here's

(05:26):
you know. I would love to have you guys come together,
blah blah blah, they're attacking Opie, which doesn't even make
sense in what he said because he said they weren't close,
but now they're close enough to attack his girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
I think that you could say.

Speaker 6 (05:40):
Hey, if you want to, like, you know, meet and
talk like adults and explain with this this relationship with
Daphnie or whatever. Sure, but right now I really don't
appreciate you attacking me, making me feel crazy.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
So yep, no exactly, it's just yeah, because I mean,
it doesn't seem like you has been dating for that long.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
I think if you wanted to break up, you can
break up. You don't need to explain that. I don't
think it's going to be unfair.

Speaker 7 (06:07):
I mean, well, I mean.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
Maybe I guess it would be unfair if you don't
hear him out. I don't really totally see why. But
even if it was, I don't care.

Speaker 7 (06:15):
Who cares.

Speaker 4 (06:16):
I don't care. Just just yeah, move on. She don't
get harassing you. Yeah, they're they're getting his sister to
harass you.

Speaker 7 (06:23):
Quote sister.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
This is such like high school drama, just like all
of this texting of like me, and then it's just
just just walk away. You don't want to date him anymore,
so't you? You don't owe him literally anything? Nope, I
don't care. So there is an update though. So a
lot of people were telling me to just block, while
some people were curious but told me to proceed with caution.

(06:44):
I decided to message high Rum and ask him to
tell me what he expected if we were to call,
so that he could explain himself. I did this so
that I could decide from his response whether or not
the call would be a good idea.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
That's that's a good way to go about it. Yeah, Surprisingly,
he changed his mind and said that he wasn't going
to call me.

Speaker 4 (07:00):
I'll admit I got a little bit annoyed and asked
him what changed his response.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
Sorry, I got a little bit annoyed again. He then
gave me the same recycled message of I'll leave you alone.
I hope you find someone amazing. You're amazing, which I
wouldn't have minded, only he sent me that message multiple
times instead of actually leaving me beat. I promised him
that I wouldn't settle for less, and then I started
typing my message. I won't pacete what I said word

(07:25):
for word, but I'll try to sum it up essentially.
I told him that I had thought about it for
a day in a bit and decided that we should
go no contact.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
I explained that while he may not have meant.

Speaker 4 (07:34):
To, his messages came across as manipulative and guilt tripping.
For example, him saying that he hadn't moved for hours
after I dumped him, and yeah, that's that's such a lie.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
That's just I haven't moved for hours.

Speaker 6 (07:47):
I've been in the fetal position since she broke up
my one month talking Phace just broke up with me.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
I haven't moved.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
Look how much you ruin me. It's just like do I.
I've been stuck in the same position.

Speaker 7 (08:00):
I couldn't even text you.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
I just stupid. It was just.

Speaker 4 (08:03):
Devastated and we're just no way to talk to someone
who broke up with you. I told him it felt
like he shut me out, even though I was willing
to give him a chance to explain.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Don't worry.

Speaker 4 (08:13):
I wasn't planning on taking him back, and I told
him as much, because after seeing how he and Daphney
reacted to the breakup, I couldn't marry into such a
family if that's what we were dating for. I then
advised him to seek support and open up more, as
well as wishing him well. I probably should have blocked
him right after that message, but I didn't want to
risk having a longer conversation by a hopping platform, so

(08:33):
I let him reply. Hiram basically argued against my points
and apologized for coming across the wrong way. He also
brought up the thing about me messaging his coworker, which
two people brought up in the first post, and said
that it was a breach of privacy and he didn't.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Want her to worry about him.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
Maybe I'm the ahole here for messaging her, but I
told him that the only reason I did that was
because he literally told me that he couldn't move because
of me, and that I couldn't message his quote sister
because she was basically attacking me, and she also told
me the same thing. He also told me that he
wouldn't message my friends in this case, and I told
him I would have appreciated it if he did, because
it would have shown me that he cared. But to

(09:08):
each their own and that's okay. He then apologized for
Daphne's actions and claimed that he was going to have
a word with her, which I don't know how to
feel about, because why are you both mad at me?

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Heyo? Why aren't you going to look at him? Had
on over there?

Speaker 6 (09:21):
Why not?

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Why did she do that? Why not?

Speaker 4 (09:25):
But there is a little bit more to the story.
But yeah, girl, just blog him and it is not
worth it.

Speaker 6 (09:31):
One month, I'd be like, oh, this is exhausting. I
did not want a relationship with this person long term.
Oh bye. Yeah, I don't know why you boys are
mad at me. I'm just gonna let you guys go
crazy on your own. Sorry, if you can't move, talk
to your freaking sister.

Speaker 7 (09:45):
I guess I talk to you.

Speaker 4 (09:47):
Yeah, like, sorry, I'm talk to a therapist if you are.

Speaker 6 (09:52):
So, if you're debilitated by you know what relationship ending, Yeah,
like that's a huge problem. Oh gosh, such high schoo
old type.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
And it's annoying me. It's annoying. It's annoying me.

Speaker 7 (10:05):
I'm up.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
So I don't like it. But there is a little
bit more into the story.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
So then Hiram told me that the reason he changed
his mind about calling me was because he panicked and
it was too awkward for him.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Try I understand.

Speaker 4 (10:19):
I told him that he could have communicated that earlier
and maybe he should work on that.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
I've struggled with the same thing. I know it's not easy.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
I told him that I wasn't happy things ended this way,
but I messaged because it needed to be done. I
thanked him for everything, wished him well, and then blocked
him on one platform.

Speaker 7 (10:34):
All platforms go all platforms.

Speaker 6 (10:37):
Are you.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
You silly goose? What's going on?

Speaker 4 (10:42):
He then messaged me on two other platforms wants to
tell me that he wanted to be friends, but new
friendship was a two way relationship.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
YadA, YadA, YadA, and then the.

Speaker 4 (10:50):
Final message was to thank me before I blocked him
on that platform too.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
I've blocked him.

Speaker 4 (10:54):
Everywhere into the same for Daphne Lesson learned trust your gut.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, good job.

Speaker 7 (11:01):
He got there. Eventually got there.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
That's all right, you got there eventually.

Speaker 7 (11:06):
It's okay.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
Maybe dragged on for a little longer than it needed to,
but it happens, is okay, it happened. I refuse to
be with my boyfriend after I got hospitalized because of
his laziness.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, get away from him with I.

Speaker 6 (11:21):
I twenty three female, recently got diagnosed with MDRTV. It's
a substance resistance form of tuberculosis. After having kind of
dismissed symptoms for a long time, I did not think
I had anything serious going on until it got progressively worse.
I collapsed during a trip abroad, and the hospital stay
was horrific. I was in and out of consciousness after

(11:42):
a while, dealing with organ failure, nerve pain, and constant nausea.
I had to stay in the hospital for more than
a month. I'm still recovering. It's going to take at
least a year to feel somewhat normal. By the way,
this comes from Commission Alarmed two nine three and if
you want to spend your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay Storytime severed it. This issue is my
boyfriend twenty seven mal Jake. We have been together for

(12:04):
about five years now. He was supportive while I was
in the hospital, messaging me daily and even visiting me.

Speaker 7 (12:10):
While he could.

Speaker 6 (12:11):
But now that I'm out, he keeps bringing up how
this whole thing made him realize life is short and
we should move in together.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
Not that short. Take a minute, yeah, you've got time.

Speaker 6 (12:22):
He's been pushing this idea since week one of my discharge.
I'm barely functional right now. I still have to take
medications daily, which comes with horrible side effects. My energy
is so low I can't even walk for long periods,
and I've had to move in with my mom because
I can't manage on my own yet. Jake says he'll
take care of everything if I move in with him,

(12:42):
but honestly, I don't trust it. He's kind, but he's
also notoriously lazy. He can barely keep his apartment clean.
I can't imagine adding my needs into that mess. I've
told him he needed to.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Deep clean the place, deep clutter, and keep it that way.

Speaker 6 (12:56):
On top of that, he smokes occasionally a lot, usually
just when he's stressed out or with friends, but I
told him that he has to quit entirely. Besides, his
friends drop by constantly, often without warning. I can't deal
with loud gatherings or unexpected visits right now, so I
told them that has to stop too. I feel like
I'd end up taking care of him instead, which I

(13:17):
physically and emotionally.

Speaker 7 (13:19):
Can't do right now.

Speaker 6 (13:21):
When I told him I'm not ready to move in,
he got really defensive and accused me of not being
serious about a relationship at all. He said, I'm using
my illness as an excuse and thinks I'm being over
dramatic about the recovery process because I'm already out of
the hospital.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Okay, so, really, as someone who's kind of a dork
and understands what tuberculosis and TV actually is and used
to do. Like we back to your Like, a medication
to drug resistant tuberculosis is one of the scariest things
you could get, because it's like that would just like always,
it would always win pretty.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Much like well, like you would get a dictators No,
it's like you would your lungest would stop working.

Speaker 7 (13:56):
Yeah, so he is like head it, battling it out.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
It's areamely serious illness and yeah, you shouldn't be around
anyone who's probably.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
For yeah, like your lungs are already messed up, dude,
and boundaries. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
Yeah, he's not like thinking about you and this experience
at all. It's like, oh, you just got out of
the hospital and you can't you're not fixed already.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
The crazy thing is that he was like your life changing.

Speaker 7 (14:23):
Your near experience made me realize that life is short.

Speaker 6 (14:26):
And then she's like, ah, I would rather my life
be a little bit longer, and he's.

Speaker 7 (14:30):
Like what the heck?

Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yeah, like, wow, if you care so much about uh, like,
it's either it's either me or your tuberculosis.

Speaker 7 (14:39):
Yeah, you got it.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Crazy.

Speaker 6 (14:41):
Oh and something I did not mention. He once said, well,
you should be glad it's not yikes. You should be
glad that I didn't deck you. His dad got diagnosed
earlier this year. But it is a dumb comparison, in
my opinion. I tried to explain how dangerous it is
for me to skip even one dose of my medication
and now I'm struggling with basic daily tasks, but he

(15:03):
just got defensive and said something like, I've done have
right thing for you these past few months, and it
feels like you don't even appreciate that. I told him
that just because he visited me in the hospital, which
I actually think is the bare minimum of what a
boyfriend should do, doesn't mean he's ready to be my caretaker.
And then I don't need another burden in my life
right now. Now that I think about this, maybe that

(15:24):
was a bit harsh of me.

Speaker 7 (15:25):
To say, but he needs to hear it.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Yeah, since then, he's been distant.

Speaker 6 (15:30):
I know he loves me and wants to help, and
I wonder if I'm being too defensive or if I
should try harder to meet him halfway. A part of
me also feels like he's making this all about himself.
When I'm the one who almost passed away. He's been
telling friends I'm ungrateful for everything he did while I
was sick, and I'm just trying to find an excuse
not to move in with him. They're split something he's

(15:51):
being pushy, but others think I should give him a
chance to prove he can step up. He has already
wanted to move in with me even before I got sick,
but then I thought I was too young.

Speaker 7 (16:00):
I think maybe that is why he's like this. Am
I the ale for.

Speaker 6 (16:03):
Refusing to move in with him unless he makes a
ton of changes, even though he's been really supportive in
other ways while I first got sick. I'd love some responses.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
Edit.

Speaker 6 (16:13):
I have talked to him this morning, and we made
the agreement to first try it for a week to
see if he can keep his promises to me. My
mom is helping me pack some of my stuff so
I can go there tomorrow morning. I really want to
try and make this work.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
I know I sounded negative about him, but I think
part of my problem is also just that I do
not like feeling like a burden to him. He does
live two hours away from where my mom lives, but
if anything happens, I want to go back to her place.
He will just come and pick me up. I'll keep
you updated, and there is an update.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
There is an update. I do think this is a
good test, you know, to do.

Speaker 6 (16:47):
I don't think that he is going it, like based
off everything that he's said before. I don't think he's
going to you know, rise to the occasion. But I
think it's a good test for op to be like
I tried everything.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, I think it could be a good test.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
It kind of still feels like she doesn't want to
move in though, Like she doesn't. Yeah, so I feel like, like,
don't let any of you know doing that just because
he wants it.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 7 (17:08):
There's an update. This did not take long. I messed up.

Speaker 6 (17:12):
I just woke up about twenty minutes ago, felt a
bit unwell, had to throw up. No big deal, this
happens sometimes after one of my medications. I looked around
and didn't see my boyfriend in the kitchen or living room.
It's a web bendroom apartment, so not much to search. Okay,
he's probably on the toilet. I've waited for ten minutes
and he does not come out. I call his name.
He doesn't respond. I go and check and he's not

(17:33):
on the toilet. Okay, maybe just take it out the trash.
I look the trash can. It's not emptied. I call
him on his phone and he doesn't pick up, but
I don't hear his ringtone anywhere in the apartment. I
called him a second time and he says he's back
in five minutes from where. Apparently he had to deliver
a key to his workplace or else they couldn't open.
My boyfriend was the last one to close last week

(17:54):
and normally the first to open on Monday. He didn't
think about how he's still at the key at home.
The other cowork could not leave the workplace as he
does not have a car and came by bus, so,
according to my boyfriend, yet to go there himself and
give it to him. I had no idea how to
even feel about this. It effing scares me that he
did not tell me he didn't want me to wake up,
and it is less than a ten minutes each way,

(18:16):
but I didn't know he left me alone. If it
wasn't for all the comments I have gotten on my
post here, I would have said I'm overreacting and he
meant well, but I don't like them. Here is a
copy and paste of some stuff I wrote my notes yesterday,
positives not the pros and gone list.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Oh oh, it's so nice.

Speaker 6 (18:34):
To be with him. We have the same sense of humor.
It's just different being with him than being at my parents.
My mom is pretty stern and serious. I like the
physical aspects, pressing, hugging, things like that.

Speaker 7 (18:44):
My mom also does not really hug or tell me
she loves me.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
She shows love more in a practical way. He had
an air purifier and humidifier that he bought, which I
think is really considerate. He got free from work, he
reminded me of my medication and gave them to me
on said times.

Speaker 6 (18:58):
The apartment looks cleaner than I have ever seen it.
He makes sure I eat enough and I don't have
to do anything, but he seems more irritated and still
not completely understanding some things he says are also more
easily rubbing me the wrong way. After reading the comments
people left, like, for example, that I'm sleeping too much
during the day, so that's why I cannot sleep at
night and I should stop doing that. But I am

(19:20):
just exhausted regardless of the time of day, and also
my nerve pain is worse at night. He still smokes
on the balcony and not inside, but still he was
super apologetic when I said that I didn't want that either.
He claimed he didn't know. He wouldn't do it again.
He'll buy nicotine strips tomorrow. I did not even know
he now actually smokes that much to need something like that.
He didn't about two months ago. I found out why

(19:43):
he wanted this in the first place, besides wanting to
be with me and moving forward in a relationship, not
spicy sleep or some weird caretaking fantasy, but money. I
could stop the lease on my place, which I probably
will do anyway, I'm not going there anywhere soon and
split his bills like.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
That stucks, That sucks.

Speaker 7 (20:02):
He's like, yeah, no, I want we have to take
the step in our relationship. And also you have to
help me pay for this.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yeah, that's why.

Speaker 7 (20:09):
That's actually the reason. Right.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Oh, oh my gosh, that's crazy, mind you.

Speaker 6 (20:14):
I don't even earn that much as a sports coach,
and especially not now where I'm not able to.

Speaker 7 (20:20):
I think I shouldn't have done this, and I.

Speaker 4 (20:21):
Will leave, get out of it out of there, someone
like if you have these issues and like have to
go to the hospital and stuff like that. I mean,
first of all, money, like you need money to go
towards that. But then second of all too, like you
your partner needs to be able to take care of
you when you need it, because like you need it here.

Speaker 6 (20:40):
And you told him, you said, hey, I don't like
want you to have to do all of this.

Speaker 7 (20:44):
It's gotta be a lot of work.

Speaker 6 (20:45):
Yeah, gave him all of you laid everything out, you said,
this is what I need, right, are you up to that?

Speaker 4 (20:50):
If you're not totally fine exactly, we don't have to
move that. And it doesn't feel like.

Speaker 7 (20:55):
He wants that.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
It's a lot, It's a lot, yeah, but you gotta be.

Speaker 4 (20:59):
Realized that he's not up to it exactly, instead of
just diminishing what you need exactly.

Speaker 6 (21:03):
Edit formatting in time. It did not take five minutes
to get back. He got stuck in traffic. It was
about twenty minutes from the time I have called him there.
I already waited twenty minutes, and I have no way
of knowing how long before I woke up that he
left pals. My mom is mad at me for even
considering going to him. My boyfriend does not see the
problem and is mad.

Speaker 7 (21:23):
I called my mom.

Speaker 6 (21:24):
Yeah, I should have listened to all of you. Edit
to why was I discharged in this condition? I was
discharged a bit earlier than they would have done normally,
just until I was not contagious with TV anymore and
stabilized due to health insurance issues and me being in
a hospital abroad instead of in my home country. There
being someone present with me twenty four to seven, at

(21:45):
least for the first few weeks, was a condition they
set to make the discharge possible. So this isn't just
like he was gone.

Speaker 7 (21:51):
It's fine.

Speaker 6 (21:52):
Whatever she needed. She probally told them I need someone
there twenty four seven. If you were not up for that,
I'll stay.

Speaker 7 (21:59):
With my mom. That's fine.

Speaker 4 (22:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's yeah. Come on, he's not up for
the town.

Speaker 7 (22:05):
Just not fot him.

Speaker 4 (22:07):
My mother in law said, we ruined Christmas just because
we put the kids first.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
You ruined Christmas.

Speaker 7 (22:16):
My way.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
This is from the r slash Okay Storytime Suppers. This
is directly submitted to us.

Speaker 4 (22:21):
Heck, yeah, let's go so so mackstory I twenty seven
female and married to my best friend twenty eight female.
Let's call her Taylor for three years now, but I
have been together for seven years total. Taylor's mom and dad,
mainly Mom are Bible thumpers. Dad really isn't, even though
he was a pastor, but he did a lot of
sinning in his marriage if you know what I mean,
yanks anyway, that's hypercritical. Yeah, anyway, mother in law isn't

(22:44):
a fan of the relationship because Taylor is going to
be the heck blah blah blah. My family is Catholic
and called me like a lot of cat and we
laughed a lot when I came.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Out legoltacat is also better than what they said. Oh totally.
It sounds like just like sounds better anyway.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
All this will kind of tie together, I think with
the story, and sorry if it doesn't, I guess. By
the way, this comes from Okay Nobody six' three nine
seven and if you want to submit your own, stories
go to the art Slash okay Story, Time, sepreddit so and.
Who taylor has two, siblings a brother we will Call
sean's thirty six, male married To, katie forty eight. Female

(23:21):
they have three kids. Together all in their early, teens
And katie has two kinds.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
From two previous.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
Marriages she's also a pill head and thinks that we
are all, oblivious acting like she stopped forever. Ago taylor
also has a, Sister jenna thirty four, female married To
eddie thirty six. Male they have four, kids ranging from
twelve to. ONE i was the first girl my wife
brought home and introduced as her.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Girlfriend she felt comfortable BECAUSE i was.

Speaker 4 (23:45):
COMFORTABLE i have a take no bs kind of, attitude
just like the rest of my. Family we tend to
hash everything out right when it, happens and if we
get past, it, great but we're quick to cut people. Off,
normally everyone was okay with. Me that's as it can
be meeting someone new in these, situations except for sister
in Law. Katie she was overly nice and basically already

(24:07):
trying to plan our. Future we had only been together
about a month when we decided to meet family and
make it. Official so in my, HEAD i shrugged her
off as a weirdo and is. Whatever my wife told
me to basically ignore or stay away from her because
she's nothing but.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
DRAMA i have a great relationship.

Speaker 4 (24:23):
With all of her, children even the ones from previous,
marriages two, girls one twenty five and the other. Twenty
for the twenty year, OLD i did a lot for,
her did her hair and makeup for every, dance took
her and picture, up gave her advice when she needed,
it taught her how.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
To use a.

Speaker 4 (24:38):
Tampon her mom was too scared to use, them and
she came to me when she lost her. VIRGINITY i
mean literally anything and. Everything katie got very. JEALOUS i
even started getting close with My bible thumper mother in,
law and that was. Big katie started making comments to
mother in law about HOW i was the new.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
Favorite she started telling her.

Speaker 4 (24:58):
Daughter that she could do better than me at hair and,
makeup and she definitely. Cannot she started trying to talk
about my wife's ex a. Lot my brother in law
and sister in law knew THE, x but not mother
or father in. Law the three younger children call me
their second mom because we get them a, lot AND
i really do love them as my. Own we try

(25:18):
to treat them to things that they don't get at
home when we have them on weekends or weeks in the.
SUMMER a few examples ice cream dates home cooked, meals
giving them space and safe conversations so they can get
some emotions. Out they get to put on games in
their rooms and basically eat ramen all. Day and they
told me. This so a few big incidents, happened And

(25:39):
i'm at a. Crossroads SHOULD i cut off my sister
in Law katie and brother in Law sean and risk
not seeing the kids. ANYMORE i feel Like i'm punishing
them for something that they have nothing to do. With
and this is promoted to oh and she's promoted to
fiance at this point in the.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Story pass.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Forward so my sister in law started a, rumor BUT
i was cheating on my wife with a girl at.
Work she's my friend AND i feel bad for saying,
this but, yuck definitely not my.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
Tie funny, yikes she. WAS i don't know you had
to say, yuck not My you just said she's not my.

Speaker 4 (26:14):
T i don't have to be, like, oh, yuck, right personally,
thing all my friends are, gorgeous, yeah, exactly doesn't Mean
i'm attracted to.

Speaker 7 (26:24):
Them, right don't have to say.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Yuck? Yuck she, was and had just come out to
everyone and was proud of. It, anyway she told my
brother in law that she THOUGHT i was sleeping with
my friend because she just came, Out oh my, god
AND i was her only. Friend that must be why
that has been. Prolong brother in law texted my wife

(26:46):
and basically was calling her every name in the book
because she basically said that she believes me over his
wife and that she didn't know why he cared so
much because him and his wife cheats so, much like
it's a game at this point of who has?

Speaker 6 (26:59):
More, Y, wow, dang they're doing this straight version where
you sleep with as many. People, yeah we had to
talk early about, cheating and she knows exactly HOW i
feel about. IT i told her from the rip to
please never cheat AND i would always let her go
and to be honest with. Me that's kind of crazy to,
me like LIKE i understand where you're coming from a
pee of, like, yeah let's have conversations, stuff but just

(27:21):
like the fact that you have to have a conversation
and be like this is HOW i don't feel good about, cheating, RIGHT.

Speaker 7 (27:25):
I, KNOW i don't like.

Speaker 6 (27:26):
IT i wonder if it came up of like well
they had Previous, yeah, no, NO i think it's it
makes sense BYOP i just thought that was.

Speaker 7 (27:34):
Funny it's, funny like it makes. Sense wyope's right to
have a.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Conversation please don't cheat on. You just just to be,
CLEAR i wouldn't like.

Speaker 7 (27:41):
IT i would be upset by.

Speaker 4 (27:43):
That i'd rather you tell me you don't want me
anymore than to betray me like. That we cut them
off for three months and my mother in, law father in,
law sister in, law and brother in law all got THE.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Vid they live in my.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
Mother in law's basement and share a room with, them
and they're three. Kids we got asked by mother in
law while she's the hospital on behalf of sister in Law,
katie if we would take the kids because they weren't
being taken care of because they just didn't have the
energy with being.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Sick, anyways we said.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
Yes we had them for two or three, weeks and
we both had to quarantine for two weeks from work
from being. Exposed we didn't. Mind we loved the kids
and they were my first. Priority after they got, better
sister in law thanked us and acted like it had
all blown. OVER i told her for a conversation and
told her That i'll let it go this, time but
to cut the. Crap, basically she was, smiley happy and

(28:30):
fake her normal.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
Bs but whatever uh and now now hope he is
promoted to wife at some point.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
Here. Nice she told my mother in law THAT i
was the devil and THAT i was ruining the.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Family. Wow she told my.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
Wife i've found out a year later that she picked
the wrong, brother meaning my, wife because she dresses better
and her cologne smells, good and overall she takes care
of her. Appearance she gets her fades every two, weeks gets,
waxed just.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
Overall she definitely gives Off.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
Daddy she told her kids THAT i don't love them.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Anymore what her oldest has completely cut her.

Speaker 4 (29:07):
Off and we have a great relationship with her daughter
and grandkids because we had her grandkids for a week
to give her daughter and her fiance a well deserved.
Break she's done a lot of, crap naming a. Few
i've had a few choice words with mother in law.
Too her and my sister in Law kati love to
hate each other in. Gossip mother in law calls my
wife to which about her siblings and their dad her,

(29:29):
husband and does the same with brother in law's wife
and my wife's other Sister, jenna mother in, law likes
to say hurtful things when she doesn't get her. Way
this past, year my wife got a promotion and had
to be at work until three the night, before so
we couldn't show up To, christmas but could plan a
day to bring them their gifts from us along with
the other. Adults she was okay until she found out
that we planned a weekend at the beginning Of december

(29:52):
to get all seven of our young nieces and nephews
for a night to watch them open The christmas presents
that we got them and spend a little time with the.
Kiddos she told my wife and said that we were
taking her moment away from watching them open the gifts
from us and ruining Her.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Christmas how does that even mean that you're you're what
do you mean you Had? Christmas you ruined?

Speaker 4 (30:12):
It you're just watching them open gifts are such a normal.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Thing what do you mean you're taking your moment? Away
it's giving you the.

Speaker 4 (30:18):
Moment that's, Insane my wife told, me AND i put
her mom and dad in a group chat and basically
told her that she made her daughter cry AND i.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
Hope that she was proud of.

Speaker 4 (30:27):
Herself we still went the, weekend we planned to give
them their gifts after all of, this AND i was still.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Fuman so as soon as we.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
Walked, IN i basically just told her she won't ever
speak to my wife like that, again because next TIME
i won't be as.

Speaker 7 (30:39):
Nice don't be.

Speaker 4 (30:40):
Nice, yeah and long story short on me flipping out
because her other two kids suck and my wife is
the only one who shows up.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
Then they need something or just want to vent as AM.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
I she tried to, argue and then my tone got
meaner and she just ended with an, okay, yeah she
won't do it. Again, yeah, okay put her in her.
Plate her husband knows better than to mess with. Me
i've told him what's up, too and it didn't even
try to defend his.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
Wife it's a little bit more to the. Story but
do you have any final thoughts on?

Speaker 4 (31:11):
This?

Speaker 6 (31:11):
Yeah, YEAH i just think it's, like if they're gonna
keep making, problems set your, boundaries tell them straight and be, Like,
Okay i'm just stop blaming me for your kids getting.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Upset, yeah stop.

Speaker 7 (31:21):
It stop telling your kids that. Lies.

Speaker 4 (31:24):
Right it's Like i'm not even doing anything wrongs that
you're obsessed with, me right, stop that's so. Crazy like
she's making up the stories about, cheating, yeah and then
like just not using, it like not even just using,
them but like asking them for help for the kids and,
stuff which is so nice of them to do to
help and, like and then she's just spewing all these

(31:45):
lies and and just crap it on.

Speaker 7 (31:48):
Them.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
Man SO i don't, KNOW i really want to say.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
Fmol and my wife has grown a backbone and started
standing up for, herself so she's getting there. Too but
the kids art breaks thinking about never seeing them until
they turn. Eighteen she tried to mind f them so hard,
now and the youngest is her little.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
Spy and not a good.

Speaker 4 (32:08):
ONE i won't, dang she told me Her she told
me her mom asked her to listen IF i talk
bad about, her AND i never do to her. KIDS
i think kids need out of grown folk. Business but
she uses her kid as on and involves. Them BUT
i know IF i got them all, off we wouldn't
get the. Kids and they still have four to eight
more years until they turn eighteen between the three of,

(32:29):
them and that's a long time with a self absorbed
person telling you lies about someone you won't see anymore
as a. Kid, yeah because even if they did turn,
eighteen like they probably wouldn't want to Be yeah yeah
if they've been you, know poisoned or you've been. Poisoned, yeah, yeah.
Dang any questions are. Welcomed sorry if you're. Confused my
wife calls me a betty bad. Butt but something about

(32:52):
these three kids pulls at my. HEARTSTRINGS i had a crappy,
childhood SO i think it's an extra big soft spot
for the. Situation advice needed and all comments are, appreciated thank.

Speaker 6 (33:03):
YOU i, MEAN i don't think you have to cut
her off if you really want to be these kids in,
LIFE i don't think you have to necessarily cut her off.

Speaker 7 (33:08):
Completely.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
YEAH i think it's just setting.

Speaker 6 (33:10):
Boundaries and every time you hear she says something, wild you're, like,
yeah not, Sure i'm fly stop?

Speaker 1 (33:14):
Lying yeah what was your?

Speaker 5 (33:15):
Mean?

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Boys? Right AND i wonder if like a conversation can
be held of just like why why are you doing?
This like DID i actually do LIKE i? Thought i've
like treated you? WELL i THOUGHT i like you done
a good job of being there for. You and what's going?

Speaker 7 (33:28):
On? Yeah like?

Speaker 1 (33:29):
Why, yeah what what's going, on she's.

Speaker 4 (33:32):
Just jealous and, dasty, yeah feeling and scared about how
she takes care of her, kids that the love of
her kids are possibly going off to.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Another but just, like enjoy that you have someone that
will take care of the.

Speaker 7 (33:47):
Kids and that your kids like, like come on, literally come, On.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Hey It's. Sam we're gonna get back to these. Stories
but here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that
keep the show.

Speaker 5 (33:55):
ALIVE i just got engaged to my, fiance but my
family is not.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
Happy boo that entire, Family boo.

Speaker 5 (34:02):
THEM i just got engaged last week To frank and
we have been super excited and.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Happy some. Backstory we both live In.

Speaker 5 (34:10):
Canada frank's entire family both sides are here as, well
but aside from my, mother my dad passed away a
couple years. Ago all of my relatives still live in
the country my family immigrated. From by the, way this
comes from engage excitement and if you want to spit
your own, stories go to the r slash okay storytime.
Subreddit i've met all his relatives and am quite close with.

(34:30):
Them they are all super. NICE a smattering of relatives
from both sides of my family have Met frank when
they've come to visit and when they were here for
my father's. Funeral there is a bit of a language
barrier with them For, frank but he's always been polite and. Kind,
luckily With easter, weekend we were able to tell most
of our families who live In canada in person before posting.
Online we got a really warm reaction from his parents

(34:51):
as well as both sides of his. Family it was
all really. Lovely before posting on social, MEDIA i messaged
my overseas relatives through group chats with the news and
a picture of us smiling together was with some champagne
and the.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
Ring from my paternal, relatives.

Speaker 5 (35:06):
There was a, big happy slew of congratulations and well,
wishes and WHEN i later posted On, facebook a few
of them commented again with happy.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
Wishes before my dad.

Speaker 5 (35:15):
Passed, away he spent a lot of time in the
hospital and he had made a point of saying That
frank should be allowed to come visit him as one
of our, own even when my dad didn't really want visitors.
Anymore frank hates, hospitals but he spent a lot of
time visiting my. Dad seeing that my paternal relatives were
accepting A frank was a really nice reminder of how
loving my dad was and how EXCITED i think he

(35:36):
would have been for.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Us but here's the.

Speaker 5 (35:38):
Issue the REACTION i got from most of my maternal,
relatives including my, mother really surprised and disturbed. Me we
saw her For Easter monday and excitedly announced it to.
Her she seemed almost suspicious and asked what our plans
were for the, future before giving two kind of robotic
handshakes and saying.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
Congratulations we got marriage. Handshakes she got marriage handshakes from her.

Speaker 5 (36:03):
Mother that's a bad. Sign then later she sat us
down and asked how this would affect our educational. Futures
she even pulled me aside to talk to me about
life insurance and, wills saying that WHOEVER i, marry she
wants to ensure a good life for me and her future,
grandchildren and not any step. Grandchildren she outright warned against

(36:26):
leaving money To frank or sharing my resources with, him
because what if you pass away and he remarries and
has kids with the new, Wife she'll spend all the
money and he won't care about your. Kids this isn't
the first time she has basically coached me to assume,
everyone including my future, husband is out to get, me
and THAT i can't trust anyone except blood. FAMILY i

(36:47):
find it ridiculous and really really. DEPRESSING i told, her
in no one certain, terms THAT i knew exactly WHO
i was going to, marry so she can lay off
the hypothetical WHOEVER i marry, talk and furthermore that he
wasn't the type of person who would have bandon our
children just Because i'm passed. Away she insisted she was
giving practical and realistic.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Advice SO i just changed the.

Speaker 5 (37:07):
Subject in the group chat for my maternal, relatives only
three of them have. Responded there are nine people total
in the, chat including. Me one, Cousin, larry sent a shocked,
emoji and an aunt, said most, importantly don't let it
affect your. STUDIES i wasn't sure how to even respond to,
that SO i just sent back With frank's, support everything
has been better in my, life including my.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Studies larry just, said oh.

Speaker 5 (37:30):
REALLY i stopped responding after, that AS i found the
reactions really bizarre and. Hurtful another of my, Cousins dan
piped up to say That frank's a lucky guy and congratulated,
us which was nice AND i thanked. Him but after
that it's been radio silence for a whole. Day i've
Messaged dan privately to ask IF i wrote or said something,
wrong THOUGH i haven't heard back yet.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Update dan has no.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
IDEA i am super grateful for all the positive reactions
we have, gotten both From frank's family and from my paternal,
relatives as well as from our friends and, community BUT
i can't help but feel really shaken by my mom's
reaction and the response of my maternal. RELATIVES i don't
understand the fixation on my, studies aside from the fact
That i've already GRADUATED uni and have been actively applying

(38:12):
to medical, schools WHICH i hear back about in a few,
weeks which me luck while working full. Time i've never
been the type to engender worry about my. Academics MY
gpa has always been around to thirty, nine And frank
is literally the most supportive person when it comes to my.
Schooling he took care of me during my undergrad, thesis
helped proofread my medical, applications and has always celebrated my.

(38:33):
Successes he takes great care of me and uplifts me so.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
MUCH i don't.

Speaker 5 (38:37):
KNOW i GUESS i WISH i knew why they were
reacting like. This i'm just floored and have no idea
how to proceed with them being so weirdly hostile towards my.
ENGAGEMENT i really thought they'd be, excited because, well that's
how people generally.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
React what DO i do you move on without these?

Speaker 2 (38:54):
PEOPLE i know it's really easy to just be, like
don't care from an outside, perspective but it's, like truly,
like if these people just can't be like happy for
you and excited you're getting, married forget them in the context.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
Of your engagement or your wedding or your. Marriage forget.
Them who? Cares if you really want them to that.

Speaker 5 (39:09):
Bad the next thing you do is you send them
an invite to the, wedding and if they say, no
they say, no you don't even need to do.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
THAT i have a.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
Sneaking it's, like there's there's a classiest thing going on.
Here there's some kind of othering happening to your husband
by this whole side of your. Family, YEAH i gotta
assume it like came down the chain of command from
like your mom and that AND edsad just infected.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
Everybody we have an.

Speaker 5 (39:31):
Update hey, EVERYONE i posted my original issue a little while.
Ago long story, SHORT i got, engaged and WHEN i
announced it to my mom and maternal, RELATIVES i got
a really cold. RECEPTION i posted basically BECAUSE i didn't
really know how to process.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
It i'm still kind of in.

Speaker 5 (39:45):
Disbelief BUT i actually had a chance to chat with
one of my maternal.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
AUNTS i thought she called me and called her.

Speaker 5 (39:52):
Back turns out it was a butt, Dial but SINCE
i had her on the, LINE i decided to ask
what her perspective. WAS i won't really hush out the
details of the, conversation but essentially it seems to boil
down to a few. Things, first because of the distance
and language, barrier none of them really Know frank very,
well so mostly they are going off what they're told about.
Him it seems that my mom has been talking about

(40:12):
him in unflattering ways and just overall painting him as
not good.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
Enough, yeah why are we doing?

Speaker 5 (40:18):
That?

Speaker 7 (40:18):
Mom why are we?

Speaker 5 (40:19):
Do he? Said one weird thing that they seem to
have fixated on is that he doesn't have a bold driver's.
LICENSE i don't. EITHER i have a new driver's, license
and he has a. Learner's neither of us have a,
car and public transit is decent enough in our, city
so getting a full license hasn't really been a top.
Priority it seems, though that between that and him not
being in the workforce full time yet because.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
You, know still in.

Speaker 5 (40:41):
School even though they've been told about his part time,
job my mom doesn't think very highly of his ability
to provide and, disapproves despite saying to my face that
she will just love WHOEVER i. Love they see only
my mom's disapproval and nothing of how hard he, works
how sweet he, is how creative. Funny so IF i
am to change their, MINDS i am already starting on

(41:03):
the back foot and running damage. Control, second they seem
to Think i'm still a. Baby my aunt was, saying
How i'm still young at? ALL i pointed out THAT
i was turning twenty five this year on the young
end for an, Engagement, sure but by no means a.
Child she actually did a double take when she realized, That,
yeah but.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
Like, also twenty five is still. Young twenty five is still.

Speaker 5 (41:22):
Young BUT i have also had this realization of talking
to CAUSE i just turned twenty five of my cousins
and then being, like you're you're, Twenty, no you're, eighteen,
Right And i'm, like, No.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
I've been an adult for a. While, yeah it's probably
more of like a it's just been a. While it's
been a lot of, distance and they're, like, oh you're.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Right.

Speaker 5 (41:38):
Yeah she also asked about a lot of, things what
we plan for the, future if we've talked about having,
kids what sort of lifestyle we. Want basic butt crap
that anyone with half a brain a foresight would talk
about before an.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
Engagement they. Don't, yeah they just don't know that. Though,
yeah they're excited to hear.

Speaker 5 (41:53):
IT i obviously had answers for all the things she,
asked and she almost seems surprised THAT i never once
had to say we've never talked about that OR i don't.
Know she ended up saying That i'm a grown person
who can make her own decisions and that she just
wishes me. Well we also talked about my mom a.
Bit we kind of ended the conversation. There it's been
a few days, now and at the end of it,
ALL i Think i'm just angry and. SAD i know

(42:15):
Neither frank NOR i are at our life goals, yet
and we still have plenty of growing to. Do BUT
i just feel super disrespected and. Underestimated i'm pissed that
my mom would claim to just want me to be
happy and that she'd love WHOEVER i, love and then
turn around and talk crap about the MAN i love
and who has been an incredible supportive partner to. Me
she keeps saying that she wants a better relationship with,

(42:36):
me but, Honestly i'm starting to see that she. Doesn't not,
really she wants a better relationship with who she wants
me to, be not WHO i actually.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Am, yeah oh p said, It Oh pie said. It
Said the thing guys that she just wants. You she
wants to just mold, you inform me like a little
ball of. Clay but you are a.

Speaker 5 (42:54):
Human but we have an, Update and to be, FAIR
i GUESS i feel the same. WAY i would love
a better relationship with my mom if my mom were
more genuinely supportive and less judgmental and didn't think her
perspective is the objective truth quite so. Much, Whatever i'm
still going to get married And i'm super happy about. That,
yeah my future husband is a swell guy who makes
me really.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Happy.

Speaker 5 (43:15):
Yeah if anyone can't bring themselves to feel genuinely happy for,
us then they can feel free to f write off.

Speaker 7 (43:23):
End of that.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
Story we got. There that's exactly where you want to.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Be, Yeah and if you can fully embody that in
a real, way you're.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
Perfect your mom's not giving him a.

Speaker 5 (43:32):
CHANCE i think it's clear that maybe her parents were,
divorced AND i think your mom is projecting all of
that onto you And, frank.

Speaker 2 (43:39):
There's definitely some nonsense going on in the logic department
of your.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
Mom's my father ruined my. Guitar it was the last
straw for me and the last string on the.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
Guitar trigger warning on this episode right now for narcissistic
parents as this dad is a narsy and.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Also for mentions of self.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Harm AND i am a pharmacy intern and an immunizer
that has been helping out.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
Since the pandemic started.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
It i've been working crazy hours and my schedule at
the hospital is all over the.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Place for everyone.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Listening And dad That ani stands for Nars i'm going
to just refer to him As dad for the rest
of the.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
Story my dad is.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
The type where he needs total control over my life
and needs to know my exact schedule and times and
tracks the mileage on my car and, everything which sounds
like narcissism'. Me my mom just sticks to everything my dad,
says so there is no use. There i've learned to
live with, it As i'm staying home with my parents
during the pandemic to save. Money by the, way this
comes from Muser Kitty glock and if you want to

(44:35):
submit your own, stories go to the rt Slash okay
storytime subredd. It this, day in, particular the hospital was
severely understaffed AND i stayed behind three hours to help,
out per my supervisor asking me. TO i called my
dad to let him know and he didn't, answer SO
i left him a voicemail and shot him at tex
just in. Case after, THIS i left my phone on
the pharmacy desk somewhere AS i was assisting and delivering

(44:56):
medicine throughout the hospital and it was so, HECTIC i
just didn't think much of. It after my shift was,
OVER i grabbed my stuff and NOTICED i had twenty
plus missed calls from my. DAD i called and he was,
furious calling me a liar cheater and effing's stupid. Witch
he told Me i'd regret lying and to come home.
Immediately WHEN i came, HOME i expected another screaming. Match

(45:17):
but WHAT i didn't expect is that my even as
black or a, burst just completely effed up on the.
Ground it was a gift from my late, uncle who
was an avid guitar player and taught me from the
age of. Ten he left me a sum of money
after he passed for me to pick any guitar of my.
Choice he was my dad's bio brother and saved me
from a lot of butt slappins and basically raised me

(45:38):
into WHAT i am. TODAY i considered him basically my father,
figure so the guitar was extremely sentimental to. Me he
passed away WHEN i was fifteen from colon, camp and
the guitar was the last THING i had from. Him
playing the guitar for me was a hobby that took
away so much stress and gave me so much happiness and.
Relief my guitar saved me from so many times WHERE
i considered self harm and gave me a reason to.

(45:58):
Live so coming home to see her smashed to crap
on the living room floor was like looking.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
At my will to live literally being.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
Destroyed as corny as that, sounds, anyways my dad basically
said it's my fault SINCE i didn't wait to call
him multiple times to pick. Up but apparently he can't
effing read a text message or listen to a. VOICEMAIL
i gathered the pieces of my guitar into a trash
bag and, clothing AND i stole all his toilet paper
and booked it to a hotel Where i'm writing this
on my. iPhone i don't know What i'm gonna do,
now BUT i Know i'm never gonna talk or see him,

(46:27):
again and that makes me feel. BETTER i WISH i
could see my uncle, again though there's an edit. Here
the black Or burst is a twenty nineteen model guitar
THAT i bought with the money that my uncle left with,
Me hence it was his last gift to. Me but
he passed away and was buried with His IBANEZ rg seven.
Seventy that was his. Guitar he was An ibanez, man
AND i wanted to just carry on the. TRADITION i
wanted to clear up the confusion if there was, any

(46:48):
and there is an. Update hello, Everyone i'm so SORRY
i haven't been able to update. Sooner life has been,
hectic and, honestly it's been really hard for me to
really think about. It thank you so much to everyone
who gave me great advice and. REASSURANCE i don't know
what would have happened IF i didn't have the. Support
going to go ahead and address a couple of, things
and thank the people who reach out to me, privately
not only to extend a hand of me, financially but
give me such kind.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
Words thank.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
You it means a. Lot what is the model of the?
Guitar IT'S rgd seven to one alms work. Situation the
day after the incident, HAPPENED i notified security of the
threat immediately and removed my parents from my contact. LIST
i also let some of my coworkers know about my,
situation AND i have coworkers who work nearly the same
schedule AS i, do so we've been parking next to
each other and they've basically been escorting me to and

(47:29):
from the, buildings And i'm eternally. GRATEFUL i have also
spoken with my supervisor about having me transferred to another
hospital farther. Away, unfortunately due to the, circumstances we are
in right, now short staffed and, pandemic and most positions are.
Filled i'm unable to, transfer but a transfer is SOMETHING
i would have to wait for in a couple of
months necessary documents for moving. Out my best Friend rob

(47:49):
and his boyfriend have allowed me to stay with them
for as long AS i need. To rob is very
familiar with my dad and has even extended the offer
to let me stay with him even before the guitar smash.
Happened really grateful for his support right, now And i've
been trying my best to be an amazing roommate because
this seems like it's.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Going to be a long term.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
Thing seeing How i'm unable to transfer with my, JOB
i was thinking of looking at getting my own, apartment
But robin sits on me staying as long AS i
can pay rent and do chores around the, house Which
i'm more than happy to, do so no.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
Worries living situation figured.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
Out i'm sure children of narcissistic parents get very familiar
with their parents' schedule so they can plan around. It
all throughout my teen, LIFE i memorized my parents' work.
Schedule knowing this, INFO i basically planned sneaking back into the,
house packing the rest of my stuff and. Bouncing SINCE
i did a half butt job the first, TIME i
knew where all my important documents were fortunately and got

(48:40):
the rest of my clothes and. Belongings the surprising thing
was WHEN i went in my, room there was a
card on the desk from my, parents and it was
addressed to. Me, basically in the letter was an apology
from my. Dad he was saying how he lost control
and he was only worried about me Since i'm his only,
child and THAT i should understand his anger comes from
a place of. Love he says he knows his an
is an issue and it's the reason why we don't

(49:02):
have a healthy. Relationship it was really painful for me to.
Read dang it straight up balled my eyes out in my.
Room the crazy thing about my narcissistic parents is that
most of the time they realize how damaging their actions,
are but they won't fix them because they think they're
right and that they can't do anything. Wrong if we
the children get hurt by their, actions we deserve. It
that is how their mind. Works as much AS i

(49:23):
wanted to forgive, him BECAUSE i do love him very,
MUCH i knew IF i, did the cycle would start
all over, again and next Time i'd lose much more
than a guitar over his. TANTRUM i left the note
on the, desk opened so he would KNOW i read,
it and still chose to leave a police report for damaged.
PROPERTY i am not filing a police report against my.
DAD i really thought about, it BUT i decided against,

(49:44):
it even though that guitar was a good chunk of
money and it would be a felony. CHARGE i really
just don't have the energy to put into. It but
my parents are on the wealthier, side So i'm sure
it would be a really drawn out legal. Fight addressing
the cheating, Part, yes my dad called me a cheater
over the phone for, real and it isn't the first
time he has a skewed definition of the word. Cheater but,
Again i'm his only child And i'm also a. Girl

(50:06):
he's always felt like he's had this claim over, me
Like i'm his. Property that's actually the most disturbing Thing
i've read in this entire.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Story, ah your.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Dad claims you as property and says you're cheating on
him with just other human.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
Beings Ah, No.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Yeah that's LIKE i Would can you file a restraining
order against your dad with just the information you have right?

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Now BECAUSE i would do.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
THAT i would try to find a way to make
it illegal for him to come around you and something
that could get him punished by.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Law make the.

Speaker 5 (50:35):
Police, report but say you don't want to press, charges
so that they still have the, report and if he
comes back and tries, anything it's. Noted you can do
that without actually having to go through with any legal
action against.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Him he always lost his crap WHEN i was dating
someone or if anyone showed interest in.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
Me it was so effing.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Weird, ah this is a whole other piece of trauma
in my childhood THAT i don't want to visit right.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Now what happened to the.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
GUITAR i took my baby to an old friend of
my uncle's who he used to play, with Named. ADAM
i basically just handed him the trash BAG i had
the guitar in and left and told him to call
me to see if it was. FIXABLE i really didn't
want to look at the guitar anymore THAN i had.
To he called me a couple hours later and told
me there was no WAY i could salvager if anyone
knows anything About, ibanez they are known for their slender,
necks and her neck was so damaged it was on

(51:23):
the verge of. Snapping my dad didn't just smash my
guitar on the. Ground he took a hammer or something
to the body and bent the. NECK i just ended
up deciding to burn the guitar and just keeping the
metal pieces like the tuner's bridge and. Strings as it keeps, saying,
honestly losing that guitar feels like losing my uncle all over.
Again painful as f and it took a day after
the incident for all the emotions to set. In i've
been drowning myself in work and maybe a little booze

(51:45):
to not think about. It AND i don't THINK i
really want to play anytime. Soon why DID i steal
all the toilet? Paper he stole the toilet paper because
it's the pandemic and these people deserve to not be
able to wipe their.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Butts that's why he did.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
It, clearly the toilet paper Was the toilet paper was
stolen because it was gonna be hard for them to
get more toilet. Paper any smashed his, guitar AND i
love that this toilet paper, thing that's, great the greatest
form of petty. Revenge no crimes were, committed just toilet.
Paper why don't you do?

Speaker 1 (52:10):
It have a?

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Pioneers did? It you have two, hands right left, hand right?
Hand pick. ONE a lot of you are saying this
is a last gift from my, uncle the freedom from
my dad, forever and that's, beautiful AND i think it's.
True i'm not a spiritual, person but that night in
the hotel AFTER i made this, POST i had some
dark thoughts AND i dreamed about my uncle that night

(52:31):
for the first time in. YEARS i guess everything happens
for a. Reason, again thanks so much to. EVERYONE i
owe this update to, y'all and just a final. Edit
my uncle actually left me quite a bit when he,
passed AND i will be very comfortable for a.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
While money was never an.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
Issue the only Reason i'm staying With, rob my, friend
is because he's just afraid for my safety IF i
were to stay home. Alone my dad is crazy enough
to hire A. PI i also plan on melting the
metal pieces down into, jewelry as many of you. Recommended,
yeah AND i will post the.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
Results love, you, Guys and that is the end of that.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
Story your father hiring A pi against you probably could
be used for some kind of maybe harassment. CASE i
don't know all the stuff that your dad does against,
you pay per trail. It your priority one is making
it so that if he does try to get close
to you, again you can have that be an arrestable.

Speaker 5 (53:23):
Offense, yeah and staying with your friend for safety for.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
A, while that's a great.

Speaker 5 (53:27):
Idea, Yeah and eventually maybe you can find a different
roommate for a place on your, own or maybe eventually
live on your.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Own but, yeah it's safe for. Now, hey It's john.
Here we're gonna get back to the.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Stories put a quick three minute ad break from our
sponsors that keep the show.

Speaker 5 (53:41):
GOING i refuse to join my family's holiday trip because
my mother will be.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
THERE i hate my, mom and.

Speaker 5 (53:48):
We have a trigger warning mentions of A my twenty
eight female dad is a massive enabler of my narc,
mom who will just call mom.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
Despite the fact that they're.

Speaker 5 (54:00):
Divorced my dad keeps in contact with her every, day
and if it wasn't for, him probably no one in
my family would talk to. Her by the, way this
comes from Fake, Lancelot and if you want to submit
your own, stories go to the r Slash okay storytime
sup reread. It she is harmful and probably always will,
be and we haven't talked in three. Weeks after our last,
fight she blew up at me over a random news

(54:22):
article and then showed up in my room at one
am crying about HOW.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
I pick fights with her to get her to yell on.

Speaker 5 (54:28):
Purpose SO i love my dad and, sister they have
a really bad habit of manipulating me into going along
with all of their. Plans this, YEAR i found out
that my dad had planned a trip to another province
to stay with my mom's extended family for a, week
and most definitely because he KNEW i would not want to,
come booked my airline ticket In airbnb without telling, me

(54:50):
and has told all of our RELATIVES i will be.
COMING i found out from my grandpa he never asked
me directly and just kept ASSUMING i would. Come he
dropped literally hundreds of dollars on willful. Manifesting WHEN i
finally brought this up to him and SAID i didn't
want to come and that he never actually asked, me
he admitted that he didn't and, apologized but then pulled

(55:12):
out every manipulation tactic in the book to get me
to agree to.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
Come your relatives will all be passing away.

Speaker 5 (55:18):
Soon what if you just come for three days And
i'll book you an early flight. Back you're my, favorite
so if you don't, GO i won't want to go. Either,
DISGUSTING i refused and told HIM i didn't want to
spend My christmas holidays worrying about my mom coming into
my room at WHEN i am to randomly shout at.
Me he insisted she wouldn't do, that but we both
know she. Will she always. Does my sister sympathizes that

(55:41):
my dad never asked me and That mom's behavior towards me.
Sucks but despite me having multiple conversations with both my
dad and my, sister they still tell Everyone i'm coming
and act like nothing's. Happened this is obviously disrespectful and crazy.
Making but despite my therapist and my friends all telling
ME i should absolutely not go on the trip and

(56:01):
uphold my boundaries for my own peace of, MIND i
still find it very hard to disappoint my. Family i'm
weirdly petrified by the. Idea it's made me really, depressed
And i've been self isolating like. Crazy my friends have
all Made christmas plans to include, me SO i won't
be alone for the. Holidays i'm so lucky to have
them AND i want to Spend christmas with, Them but
the conversation with my dad is. TERRIFYING i know he's

(56:22):
going to try to wriggle around, it And i'm going
to be the holiday bad. Guy any chance of supportive
people of this sub can give me the final galvanizing.
PUSH i need to plant my feet down and hold my.
Ground any advice is also. Welcome thank, you and we
have an. UPDATE i FIGURED i should post this update
BECAUSE i was blown away by the response to my
first post for support and want to thank you all
from the bottom of my. Heart This subredda is a

(56:44):
godsend and without, IT i would probably be at the
airport right.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Now what, Dreams you're. Nice let's go fake love to
this amazing.

Speaker 5 (56:52):
Community my mom came over yesterday so we could all
leave to the airport early the next. Day she was
giving me the cold shoulder off all, day only speaking
to me to ask me to carry her suitcase into the.
HOUSE a lunch with my sister's family and.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
In laws was.

Speaker 5 (57:07):
ORGANIZED i was not asked or consulted on. PLANS i
was just expected to. Come, HOWEVER i was happy to
do this BECAUSE i was not going on The christmas
trip AND i still wanted to see my niece and
give my sister's family their. Present as, expected everyone acted
as if my travel plans were. SET i was scared
out of my mind of telling my dad a firm.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
No BUT i had everything in.

Speaker 5 (57:30):
PLACE i had everyone's gifts ready to. GO i made
plans from the twenty fourth Until New. YEAR'S i ordered
groceries online for the, week my therapist was on. CALL
i had posted On reddit for the final.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Push it was.

Speaker 5 (57:41):
Time let's go to the many people who SAID i
should just text her email and get out of the
house until they were. GONE i see the wisdom in your. Advice, now,
no she still did.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
It, yeah but the hard. Way, yeah like to stay
on hard. MODE i was.

Speaker 5 (57:56):
Too scared to do that BECAUSE i worried it would
be too cold, hot AND i wanted to talk it
out like.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
Adults from now, On i'll probably just do as you.
Suggested it would save myself a lot of.

Speaker 5 (58:07):
GRIEF i decided to talk to my mom, first because
sometimes she will take my side in conversations with my.
Dad she was surprisingly chill WHEN i told HER i wasn't,
coming and agreed That dad shouldn't have gone behind my
back for.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Plans he's just always been that. WAY i don't think it's,
intentional but.

Speaker 5 (58:23):
Compulsive but then very randomly segued into all the WRONGS
i had committed a month, ago which primarily seemed to
be letting her eat the ham i'd bought and being
snappy about it when she offered to buy me.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
More, ope just eat the, ham eat all the. Ham,
gosh what the?

Speaker 5 (58:39):
Heck? Obi she, SAID i don't think about the WORDS
i say and how they affect.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
PEOPLE i said THAT i definitely.

Speaker 5 (58:44):
Have times WHERE i get, snappy but, usually especially in
the very odd cases she was giving, me it was
in response to her And dad's.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Behavior she said she didn't think that was, fair and
that she.

Speaker 5 (58:56):
Had tried to be patient with, me and THAT i
was lucky to have the pair parents THAT i, have
and that MAYBE i should consider how ENTITLED i was
being and my expectations were too. HIGH i, said, CALMLY
i don't have any expectations for. YOU i don't want
you to do. ANYTHING i just want to have Fun
christmas with my. Friends my mom said she wasn't going
to be satisfied UNTIL i showed her some. Gratitude dad

(59:17):
came into the. Room somewhere in the middle of all of.
This my mom was crying and yelling as she berated
me for HAM i let her. Eat it is probably
relevant information that my mom has diagnosed by polar. DISORDER
i think her meds made need an. Update he just
sat on the couch and silently, watched which is what
he always. Does, finally he asked what's going, on AND

(59:38):
i said To i'm not going to A christmas trip.
Location she's mad about something, else THOUGH i have no.
Idea this post is getting a little, long but suffice
it to say That dad's response was the. Worst he
got very, upset INSISTED i could not cancel. This late
SAID i couldn't deal with, this gestures to mom. Anymore,
oh in a, way and my mom exploding again was
a gift From god because it reminded.

Speaker 1 (59:59):
Me that this was WHAT i would be dealing with
all week IF i went on the. Trip but My
dad couldn't accept.

Speaker 5 (01:00:05):
This we went two rounds of conversations Because he insisted
that we needed to talk this, out but the whole
time gave me the silent treatment and just sat on
the stairs with his head in his, hands without, speaking
acting like a.

Speaker 7 (01:00:17):
Child.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
Dude come, on come, on.

Speaker 5 (01:00:20):
Dad i'd only seen him this way when my aunt passed.
Away he was acting like someone had passed away BECAUSE
i wasn't going on The christmas a TRIP i never
agreed to.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
And that you didn't know.

Speaker 5 (01:00:30):
About, YEAH i, said is there anything you want to
talk about besides trying to get me to change my?

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Mind he said.

Speaker 5 (01:00:36):
No later, ON i, said imagine IF i did suddenly
change my mind and told You i'd go after all, this.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
Would that really make you feel?

Speaker 5 (01:00:44):
Better he said, yes AND i, said even Knowing i'd
be miserable the whole. Time he was silent for a
while and then, said you don't know how you'd feel
when you got. There my mom proceeded to mock me
for thinking he would answer in any other.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Way it was.

Speaker 5 (01:00:58):
Unbelievable, HONESTLY i feel like it's already believable at this
point that you heard know.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
This, ALSO i just think the mom likes to get
onto the, dad so anything the dad does wrong she's
just gonna come after.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
Him, yeah it's the Vibe i'm. Getting but, also she's.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
Gonna come after you because she remembers what you did
with that ham last, month and she, eats.

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
Didn't eat her ham and didn't buy. More why were
you so snappy with?

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
Her?

Speaker 5 (01:01:20):
HUH i knew my parents were not normal and very,
undependable but the way they reacted still shocked. Me if
you're ever not sure your family is self, absorbed tried
telling them, no BUT i saw them off this, morning
and as soon as they were, GONE i felt lightheaded
from how good it. FELT i had cried myself to
sleep without taking my makeup, off and had a couple
of new zits this, morning AND i still smiled at

(01:01:42):
my reflection in the. Mirror the world feels so big right,
now and the house doesn't feel like a giant venus fly.
Trap my friends called me to check on, me and
my therapists responded to my text at the speed of.
Light my sister was incredibly understanding and. SUPPORTIVE i made
myself eggs and washed the sheets for the guest room
because my friend is coming tomorrow to stay with me
for a few. DAYS i am, so so grateful to

(01:02:04):
myself for choosing.

Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
ME i feel LIKE i.

Speaker 5 (01:02:06):
Stood up for a little kid today who really needed.
ME i have a lot of decisions to make by
the end of the, week but for the first, TIME
i KNOW i can do what's best for. Myself thank,
you thank, you thank you to everyone in the SUB
i hope everybody who reads this chooses peace for themselves
this holiday.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
Season

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I cut off my EX without letting him explain… because the situation is weird!-r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC | Reddit Stories