I Discovered I Have a Secret Kid and My Wife LEFT Me! | Reddit Stories | EP2242 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:03):
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Speaker 3 (00:18):
I discovered I have a secret kid and my wife
left me.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Oh, the worst combo imaginable.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
My wife, Amy, thirty five female left me thirty six
mail after I was contacted by an X and discovered
I had a son. He was born three years before
I married my wife and there was absolutely no overlap
or cheating in my wife and I his relationship. This
happened a month ago, and I requested a paternity test.
By the way, this comes from Throwaway Family Left and

(00:47):
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the rs slash Okay story Time Separate it.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
So.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Amy didn't say much while we waited for results, but
agreed that if I was the father, I needed to
be in my son's life in every way possible. We
ago the results came back that I am the father,
and immediately Amy said she wanted a divorce and began
packing her and our child's belonging.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Wait, y'all have children. That's n's insane.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
I was thinking, maybe she's like, I never wanted kids. Yeah,
free life. They already have a kid. Yeah, she's not
even taking into account that.

Speaker 5 (01:25):
I'm immediately so suspicious.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
I don't what was she up to where she's like,
finally a perfect way for me to get out of
here without being the bad guy.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
That's what it feels like, because she already has a kid.
He didn't cheat, He hasn't said I expect you to
be involved in this kid's life.

Speaker 5 (01:42):
This is so weird.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
I was confused and asked her why, but she cried
and said she loved me. Amy and I have been
married for ten years. Ten years just divorced you immediately
finding out you had another kid?

Speaker 1 (01:55):
What did she do?

Speaker 3 (01:56):
Our marriage had been pretty damn close to perfect. Oh,
serious arguments, same goals. We've traveled the world together, we
have a beautiful home, rewarding careers, and fantastic children together.
You have multiple kids.

Speaker 5 (02:11):
Something is afoot.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
I am so heartbroken that she's thrown everything away. I
feel like my life has been destroyed. I have no
clue what to do. I have begged and pleaded for therapy,
and my wife refuses. She has started the divorce process.
The next issue is custody of our children and terms
of our divorce. All four of our children are young,

(02:34):
not even in school yet. You children, what's one more?

Speaker 1 (02:39):
What did she do? She did?

Speaker 3 (02:41):
What did she do?

Speaker 1 (02:42):
She cheat on you with like your.

Speaker 5 (02:43):
Dad or something like? She had to have gone so nuts?

Speaker 3 (02:47):
All four of our children are young, not even in
school yet. She says, if I agree to give her
primary custody, she will let me have the house and
will not want child support, and will give me all
of our savings so I can raise my son as
his mother is strong. I'm sorry, she wants you to
not even be in your kid's life.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah, so why is this woman? Her logic immediately doesn't
make any sense, because she's like, you need to be
in your new son's life.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
But not any of your other kids' lives.

Speaker 5 (03:15):
Your other four children don't need you anymore.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
I would say, no, no, I'm not giving you primary custody.
These are our kids. Just because I have one extra kid?

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Does it mean do you smell that it's nice ish
smell fish this woman is. I would so this is
a situation where I would pull the like if I'm ope,
I would go to my wife and be like, I
already know, So you might as well tell me and
just hope that she breaks and it admits to whatever
it is.

Speaker 5 (03:42):
I already know. You might as well just tell.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Me I already know. She also agreed to pay for
some helme help for me. I am disabled and need
help occasionally during flare ups, which she usually provides. I
told her I could afford it on my own, but
she insists. As she says she wants to help out.
Since she won't be there, she will move across the
untry with our children nah, but said she will bring
them for at least two weeks every two months.

Speaker 5 (04:06):
That you can't do that.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
You can't. You can't do that with.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
She's acting like you cheated on her and this is
an a fair baby.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
This is crazy. I'm sorry. She wants to uproot her
kids every two months for two weeks.

Speaker 5 (04:20):
That makes no sense.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
That doesn't even.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Work with school.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
They're young, but they can't be that young because they
have four of them.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
She's telling him that he needs to worry about his kid,
and she's literally disregarding the well being of their four children.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
This is nuts, crazy, nuts, this is nuts, and will
pay for me to fly out to see them whenever
I want. No, I don't know what to do. I
have no family to discuss this with, because two of
mine and Amy's children are adopted, and my parents an
extended family think my biological son is more important than them,
which is obviously untrue. It makes me feel horrible, but

(04:53):
I don't even know my son. It feels like I'm
losing everything for a person I don't know. And I
know he's a child and I shouldn't feel that way,
but all I ever wanted was my wife and kids.
And while I love my son and take care of him,
I don't feel like he's my kid yet, just because
I haven't really had time to get to know him.
A month ago, I wouldn't have recognized him if I

(05:14):
saw him on the street. I feel so much guilt
for feeling this way. Amy and I are both fairly
well off, but she is more so than me. You
offer to hire me a lawyer of my choosing if
I don't agree with her terms. Don't agree with them.

Speaker 5 (05:26):
Yeah, don't agree, and also don't take her lawyer.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
No what I told her again, I could afford it,
but she says she just wants to make sure I
get a fair deal. This isn't a fair deal. She
wants to steal your kids and move across the country.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, this is this is like what the heck?

Speaker 5 (05:43):
Way too extreme?

Speaker 3 (05:45):
This is so extreme for no cheating, no cheating. But
I just can't. I don't want a divorce or to
lose my children. I love my wife and children more
than anything, and I just don't understand her motives or
why she's doing this. It feels like I have to
pick my son or my wife and our shared kids.
I keep trying to make sense of it. In my mind.

(06:05):
You will not tell me any reason for wanting to
get divorced. She is even being incredibly nice to my son.
His birthday had recently passed, and she got them a
new game system. They haven't met, so it was for
myself and his siblings. She even told me what her nephew,
same age as my son, is into, so that I
can get things my son might like. I don't even
know what advice I'm looking for. It feels like my

(06:27):
life has been completely ruined. I'm in therapy, but it
doesn't seem to help. A month ago, my wife and
I were planning on trying for another baby and picking
our next vacation spot, And now I'm going to be divorced.
How do I move on? How do I not unfairly
resent my son when I know it's not his fault.
I keep hoping there's a way to convince her to stay,

(06:48):
but I don't even know what the problem really is.
I'm hoping someone else has been through learning they have
a child after ten plus years and knows where to
start or what I can do to either move on
or convince my wife that this doesn't have to happen.
Any advice at all is appreciated, though, and there is
an update.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
What do you think, Well, you've got a very simple
problem and it can be easily addressed. And that's all
I have to say about that, because I have no
idea how to fix this. This is insane. Yeah, like
what I mean? I think your wife has done something,
but she is now acting on out of guilt.

Speaker 5 (07:23):
That's the only thing that makes sense to me.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
But also, regardless of what she's done, I think right
now she's not willing to listen to you about like
trying to fix this or anything. So I think it's like,
lawyer up, don't let her take your kids across the country.
I'm pretty sure she can't do that if you have
I mean, if you have like if she gets primary custody,

(07:45):
she'd be able to, but if you have half custody,
she would not be able to take your kids halfway
across the country.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Why is she moving halfway across the country? Is it
your family is there?

Speaker 3 (07:55):
It doesn't make any sense. So I think, say no,
get your lloyd, get your own lawyer. Don't let her
buy a lawyer for you, uh, and be there for
all of your kids. Your wife is something's going on
with her.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
It's just it doesn't make any sense to be like, oh, well,
first of all, she waited for the paternity test. Yeah,
so like it wasn't like a as soon as she
found out, she's like, well, I'm out of here.

Speaker 5 (08:19):
I can't believe this.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
It was like you waited for the confirmation and then
she's like, all right, that's now your child.

Speaker 5 (08:25):
Bye, I'm taking our four children.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yeah, you got one for the price of four.

Speaker 5 (08:32):
Nonsense.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
It doesn't make any sense. There is an update though
It has been over a year since my original post.
Since then, my life has completely changed. Some days it
is very hard, but all things considered, I am doing well.

Speaker 5 (08:45):
Wait how long has it been?

Speaker 1 (08:46):
A year?

Speaker 5 (08:47):
A year?

Speaker 3 (08:48):
The biggest change is that my wife and I are divorced.
She moved with our shared children to the opposite coast
to be near her family. Why did you say yes
to that?

Speaker 5 (08:57):
So okay?

Speaker 1 (08:58):
So I did see a comet from Sly the Toads
in the chat that full custody based on how op
described their family thinking about their adopted children as being
like less than Yeah, it does kind of make sense
that that they would want.

Speaker 5 (09:15):
Full custody for you know.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
I mean I don't, but we don't know how the
now ex wife's family views the children. We just know
that Opie's family kind of were like othering them. So okay.
But also country you moved to the other coast?

Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah, what don't? I just don't understand because Opie is like, yeah,
it happened. It just like, did you give her primary
and custody of your kids? What? We had an easy split,
as we both agreed it was best for our family.
How is this best for your family?

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (09:46):
How what way is this?

Speaker 5 (09:48):
I would be as a child, do all the kids
hate you? Yeah? Is that why?

Speaker 3 (09:54):
As a child, if my parents just decided that they
were getting divorce and moving halfway across the country away
from my father, I'd.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Be like what, yeah? What but they're so young? I
don't think they but they're not even in school.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
But they're you know, like they're probably unless they had
them for such a year.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
There's four, I mean still there's like, I mean there's
a you know what, Uh well too are adopted, so
but then the other two yeah, not adopted, but like
but regardless, it's like they're also at that age where
it's like once you'd move them at that age. Now
it's like that's where exactly they're not moving back exactly.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
But I'm still saying like even if they were four, yeah,
maybe they'll get over it like a little bit sooner,
but they'd still be like, where's Daddy?

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Why isn't Daddy here with us? Because it happens so quickly. Yeah,
literally within a month they were like planning to get divorced,
you know, like not that they probably took longer, but
found out a month ago said once she found out,
she's like, we're divorcing. And then within a month they
were like, yeah, we're doing this. So the kids are
probably like, what's going on? Yeah, like kids, you know,

(10:59):
even if they're four years old, they're four year olds.
Four and five year olds are like they can talk,
they could do all this stuff. They know what's going on.
I am very thankful for that. However, it is difficult
not to see all of my kids.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, now that's making me think that there's something else.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yeah, I'm like, what, Like, why would you say yes
to that?

Speaker 5 (11:18):
What's not being Why would you.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
Say the first month was the hardest, especially as we
did not want to divorce and we had a hard
time not treating each other like spouses. Then why did
you which delayed us healing?

Speaker 1 (11:30):
I'm okay, I'm theorizing maybe they're going from one state
to another where it's like the difference in like the
level of tolerance or acceptance towards the kids is going
to be like way higher or something, because like I
don't know if who knows, We don't know anything about
the kids, anything about it, but like if they both
agree that it's better for their family, there's gotta be

(11:52):
something there that we're not hearing, probably in the interests
of anonymity and stuff, but.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I don't know. My son is doing much better now
that it's just the two of us. After our divorce,
my son opened up about her in therapy. I now
understand much more about his behavior. He is much happier
now as an only child as well. He's really thriving
with my attention. He is struggling with his mental health,
but his care team sees progress, as do I. My

(12:18):
other kids have seemingly forgotten my existence, which hurts, but
is also better than them being sad about the situation?

Speaker 6 (12:26):
What?

Speaker 1 (12:27):
What are we? What? How is that better? Why were
they sad?

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Why they're not sad they've forgotten his existence?

Speaker 1 (12:34):
No, but it's like, rather than being sad about the situation,
it's like, what they're going to be sad that they
have another sibling?

Speaker 3 (12:39):
No, sad that he doesn't live with them.

Speaker 6 (12:42):
Yeah, there's there's a missing piece here.

Speaker 5 (12:44):
I don't think that's can you can you pull that?

Speaker 3 (12:46):
What did that say? To have seemingly forgotten my existence?
Which hurts, but it's also better than them being sad
about the situation, which.

Speaker 5 (12:53):
Is oh like they like they're like they don't care.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
Oh okay, which is.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Like insane, like they don't remember that he's their dad.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Well, buddy, I got news for you. They're probably gonna
end up being sad about that at something.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
Yeah, they're gonna be like, wow, our dad doesn't cause
you're presuma, are you not visiting them every two months?
Which is I mean like even if you're what is this?

Speaker 1 (13:14):
Oh wait, and now there's maybe the slily Toes also
just commented that the biosun might have behavioral issues. Could
that be part of why?

Speaker 3 (13:23):
Potentially? But still I'm like.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
My ex wife said, I'm out of here. You gotta
take care of this kid, and I'm taking ours. I
just don't understand, so so strange.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
I constantly try and call them, but at their age,
I get about five words in before they lose interest.
My ex wife and in laws try and get them
to stay on the phone and talk to me, but
there's only so much connection you can have over the
phone with kids. They're AIGs.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Oh my god, their iPad kids. Their iPad kids too.
That's why they don't remember you. They're fried by like
zuboomafo and whatever. The heck, they watch all day, would
not fry them. That's cocal melon. I'm just not an
iPad kids, so I don't know.

Speaker 3 (13:59):
Coco melonbs is a beautiful thing. They seem happy, which
is all I can ask for. I'm at peace knowing
that both my son and my younger kids of someone
that loves them in their lives. I missed my family,
but I feel I made the right choice for them
and my son. And there is a little bit left
of the story, but it is kind of insane that
these kids are gonna grow up and they're gonna be like, Wow, yeah,

(14:20):
dad chose his other son.

Speaker 5 (14:22):
I mean, yeah, who knows what's being said, choose.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
Between either of them. I just don't understand why you agreed,
like we're we're missing information, because why would you agree
to let your kids move across the country. If your
kid was having behavioral issues, then maybe you don't have
to like have them all hang out together. I mean
even just like you guys living in a different house
away from your wife and kids that was in the

(14:46):
same freaking town.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
I think rather than moving across countries, I think Op
got shocked. I think Op was just like in a
he was just shocked in shock and awe of just like, uh,
h okay, I really don't understand you want a divorce.

Speaker 6 (15:02):
It seems like everyone was only had one option and
that was it.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
Yeah, it wasn't like I'm going to at like.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Let's see, Okay, this is what's getting me is there
is a line in there where it was like at
the beginning, Op's asking his wife like what's going on?
Why is this happening? And she just cried and said
I love you. That is the most like I cheated
on you and can't tell you sentence I've ever heard.

Speaker 5 (15:29):
Yeah, So, like, I really.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Do feel like there's this deep pit of guilt she's
trying to run away from, but newsflash, that's gonna follow
you wherever you go.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yep. I just don't understand. I don't understand why there
wasn't any bartering or like hey let's fix these terms.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Well, maybe the ball, the biologue, the secret kid, the
bio kid, like maybe has.

Speaker 5 (15:54):
The special need.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
The Op said that he's been doing a lot better since,
which it's only been them, So maybe it was.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
And I'm not interest Yeah, I'm not discounting that he
probably needs that, like you know specific help and needs
more of Opie's attention. But like to completely abandoned your
four kids?

Speaker 1 (16:12):
What for one child? You could have just moved, like
to the next county.

Speaker 3 (16:16):
I feel like part of parenting is figuring out how
to parent all of the children that you have.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, you didn't have to take them all the way
into the across the country. I does my sad.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
Ah after a divorce, I asked my ex wife to
lay it on the line. Why did she want to
leave before even meeting my son? So she didn't even
know the sun, what all the things about? Like, oh,
maybe she you know, was scared about the baby relation.
She didn't even know the son. She had written me
pretty consistent letters from the day we found out until
the day we got divorced. She gave them to me

(16:48):
once her divorce was finished. I read over them several times.
You gave several reasons for wanting a split. She felt
she had chosen me to have a family with and
I already had a family. What is she talking about? Oh,
what is she literally talking about?

Speaker 1 (17:03):
This is like, you stupid. This is the same thing
as that story we read yesterday where it was like
my wife is actually two years older but we're in
a loving, perfect relationship. Should I be upset about it?
It's like, no, dummy, make it funny. And it's like
this right here is like you were yes, but regardless,
it's like you're this woman is now talking like it's like, oh,
we had these four kids together, but I found out

(17:25):
someone had actually had a biological child of yours before this,
so all of it has to stop now.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
It's like, what it negates everything that we've accomplished over
ten years of marriage.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
No dummy, just keep what you've got going right now?
What are you doing?

Speaker 3 (17:39):
If she had wanted strangers in her life, she would
have married a man with kids the first time? What
are you talking about?

Speaker 5 (17:48):
This is just also nonsense, talking.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
About like I'm sorry, sickness and in health freaking all
of the little marriage vous you took.

Speaker 5 (17:55):
Yeah at the window.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
This is probably just an easier letter to write than
I cheated on you like a lot I cheated on you.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
Oh man, she specifically chose someone without kids. Oh he
didn't know he had kids?

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, wait, but then you had four kids together.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
That doesn't even make sense.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
So what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (18:14):
And felt she made a mistake as now other people
would have some control over our lives and a stranger
would be in her home.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Oh you're crazy, Sis, I've got bad news. Have you
heard of this thing called the irs? They've got a
lot of control over your life?

Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah yeah, op's X goes. I just I just like
I didn't want I had this whole dream in my
head and I didn't want a stranger to be in
our house. So instead I'm going to kick my husband
of ten years out and separate him from his kids.
That's what I was streaming of.

Speaker 6 (18:44):
That's crazy. Ten years, four kids. They wanted a fifth kid,
by the way, They were like, oh, we were planning
to get a fifth kid.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
They were planning to have a fifth child anyway.

Speaker 6 (18:53):
And she's just like, uh no, this is a big mistake.
That's okay, ten years out the window.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
Though she loved our life marriage and knew it was
all about to change because of my past decisions. What decisions?

Speaker 1 (19:06):
What do you mean you know it is about to change?
What's is this a religious thing?

Speaker 5 (19:10):
Is this?

Speaker 1 (19:11):
It's it's all changing because of you though, ex wife.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
You know what's even crazier, guys, You know, sometimes we
have like stories where people are like, oh, that's not
my bio kid. They adopted to children.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
That's the other thing that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Adopted two children. So it's not even like she has
a problem raising kids that aren't biologically hers. Who is
this woman? Is?

Speaker 1 (19:34):
This?

Speaker 5 (19:35):
Was this written just to break our brains?

Speaker 3 (19:37):
Yeah, because she's crazy. She also said she knew that
kids coming out of situations like this were likely to
have trauma. Oh and all of your kids, all of
your kids using their father, aren't gonna have trauma.

Speaker 5 (19:49):
You literally just split.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
There's nothing your own family. Every sentence that comes up,
we're gonna.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
Have kids now that your kids are children of divorce
trauma from that month.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
This is so dumb.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
She underlined many times that while I was a good person,
she knew I'd throw our family under the bus to
make us for something I had no control.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
The this all this means is she cheated. I'm sorry,
you're gonna.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
Throw our children on the bus. So I did it first.
I threw them under first, so you couldn't throw them
under the bus.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
I wrote her to tell her she was right. What okay,
I was sorry things turned out how they did. Oh,
he is a pushover overall. I'm happy. I don't regret
my decisions. What are you? Who are these people? My
son is thriving with me and my other kids of
a great mother and maternal family. Who are you? I
hope my son continues to improve, and I selfishly hope

(20:42):
that as time passes and he gets older and more stable,
I will be able to reconnect with my wife and
be involved with my other kids.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah, that's so selfish of you, you absolute monster.

Speaker 5 (20:53):
Oh ooh uh?

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Who are these people?

Speaker 3 (20:57):
I appreciate everyone who reached out with advice. Did you
listen to any of it?

Speaker 1 (21:01):
My advice is to go back to the planet you
guys came from, because clearly you guys are like from
a different galaxy the way you've gone about this. What like,
what are we talking about? Why are you apologized? I'd
be selfish for wanting a life with my whole family
that I love.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
Okay, why are you happy with your life?

Speaker 5 (21:24):
Is your wife just the ultimate gas lighter?

Speaker 3 (21:27):
Like apparently apparently Opie's wife gas led him so well
that he's like, Yeah, I don't actually want to have
a life with my kids.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
Straight up.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
That's the end of that story, folks. He is Louise
I really don't understand.

Speaker 5 (21:40):
I'm saying it.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
She cheated.

Speaker 5 (21:42):
Yeah, she cheated, she did she did that. I just
love you. That's yeah, she cheated.

Speaker 3 (21:48):
Yeah, don't be surprised when well, actually I guess it's
been a year and she's not with someone else though.
That's crazy, and.

Speaker 5 (21:53):
Maybe he knew.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Maybe he knew she cheated, and that's why he was like, yeah,
just do it, because I can't.

Speaker 5 (21:58):
I don't want to get to the bottom of it.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
It's like like that this the song by the Weekend
where he's like, I don't wanta know because it's like,
once you know, it would so thoroughly destroy you that
you're like, just let's leave it ambiguous because I can't
deal with the emotional damage.

Speaker 3 (22:13):
Also, I know that he said that the mother of
this kid had like she didn't have a job or something.

Speaker 1 (22:20):
But it was a little hard hard for Yeah, yeah,
hard for cash. But she's like totally gone, what do
you mean?

Speaker 3 (22:28):
Like he he was like yeah, Now, I'm like, like
it seemed like he was saying he kind of is
fully taking care of his son.

Speaker 5 (22:35):
Oh, like he has full custody.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
That's what it felt like. It's like, yeah, and I'm
doing all this and stuff, and he didn't mention the
mother at all, which I'm like, where did she go?

Speaker 5 (22:43):
Well, I guess that again just like shows his priorities.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
I really don't understand this. But folks, that is the
end of that story, and we do have another one.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Sam here og host. We're going to get back to
these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors. First,
my wife and I opened our marriage.

Speaker 5 (23:00):
Now she's jealous.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
It never works out.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
It's actually not fair to call this a three way problem.

Speaker 5 (23:07):
It's an open relationship type of problem.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
Even though we don't have an open relationship and only
dabbled in it somewhat dabbled. It sounds like you don't
even know what to call your problem.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Dabbled it's not wine tasting, Yeah, it's opening your marriage.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
By the way, this comes from user in a Weird
Pickle and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime subredit. So, I
forty male, have been with my wife Kay, forty female
for three years. We both have had prior miserable marriages
of ten plus years, with her background including an extremely
possessive husband who didn't let her even talk to other

(23:43):
guys when we met. My wife had gotten a bit
of distance from her ex by having flings with a
series of guys before she met me, and there's nothing
wrong with that as long as a person does his
or her best to remain safe. She had a long
term boyfriend who was, as far as I can tell,
completely platonic, having only kissed her on the mouth once
during their entire relationship, what and never having indicated an interest.

Speaker 5 (24:06):
In spicy sleep.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Okay, maybe he's like Ace.

Speaker 5 (24:08):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
She did keep in touch with a lot of her
past flings, including having some spicy related activity or leading
conversations with some spicy messages. She also almost met up
with another guy from across the country after an emotional
slash cyber spicy affair early on after we were committed.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
So, you, guys, have she cheated on you?

Speaker 1 (24:32):
She cheated Say it with us, folks, Let's get the
wide shot poppin'. She cheated on you. I chalked that
up to fear of commitment and eventually got past it.
What I think She's been honest with me since then,
and I trust her.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
You sorry? Can I trust her? And I think she's
been honest with me in the same sentence.

Speaker 5 (24:54):
I trust her.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
I mean, I think she's been honest with me.

Speaker 5 (24:57):
I don't think she has any online husband.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
I charked it up to what commitment issues.

Speaker 5 (25:04):
Yeah, she didn't want to be committed to me.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Ah.

Speaker 5 (25:07):
I got over it, though.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
That's crazy, that's crazyical cheating on someone.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, it's just commitment issues. I usually promote, like, you know,
the the concept of being a kind of unbothered for
the most part. But this is way too unbothered. You
gotta be a little bothered after all that, though she
did have some ongoing boundary issues. In my view, is cheating.
For example, that Platonic X used her to promote his

(25:38):
online business by claiming she was essentially an executive of
his non existent organization and posted messages on social media
talking about how smexy she was. What huh, okay, we're
gonna keep going. Uh. It was a very strange dynamic
and made me uncomfortable the sham business relationship as much

(25:58):
as anything else. I have eventually told her, and she
resisted doing anything for months, but finally did tell him
she didn't want to continue being used to promote his
business that way. What's the business just a hot girl,
hot girl business.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
I'm sorry you told her that you were uncomfortable, and
she was like, I don't care.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
For months, it doesn't even I know the title of
this set. It's like we opened the marriage. Doesn't even
sound like that's what y'all are doing. It's like you're
just like, well, I guess my wife is more interested
in others, so maybe I should also.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
Be my guy early.

Speaker 5 (26:32):
Let's see what is doing.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
So.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
The main reason I mentioned this is that she's often
shown a tendency to have boundary issues with other guys
because she is a flirt and likes the attention.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
She's the cheater.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
I'm okay, we know you're okay. She's just a flirt.
I mean we're dating and she flirts with all these
other guys. But that's just how she is me and
I guess because I can only date one person for
the whole entirety of my life, I've just that's my position.
I've this is the boat I've found myself in, apparently,
especially after her repressed past, as long as she's honest

(27:06):
with me. But a key fact is that she's been
a bit resistant when I've indicated a lack of comfort,
which I've only rarely done. We've been spicily adventurous to
some extent, including discussing.

Speaker 5 (27:19):
The idea of a soul winger.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
We didn't, but we went to parties and fooled around
with each other, having a shared girlfriend her idea originally,
or even a sister wife, which was her idea originally.

Speaker 5 (27:35):
What guys fellas ladies gather around.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
We're in a relationship and someone suggests something that's like
so wildly out of what we want. It's like so
far away from where we're at. You don't have to
be like, I mean, okay, yeah, you can be like
that is literally the opposite of what I want.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
The thing is like, y'all aren't dabble in it. She's
in it. She's in it, and you're dobbling in making
an official She's been doing it.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
You're you're still conceptualizing it. She's out there executing.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
It's like when I was technically a double major but
hadn't made it official yet.

Speaker 5 (28:16):
And then you decided to get the English making.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
A double major. I just wasn't on my transcript. She's
already doing that. I had to take all the classes.
She's she's taking the.

Speaker 5 (28:27):
Classes Oxford, Harvard, Cow.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
All of them US and she got an English major
every single one of those institutions quadruple English major.

Speaker 3 (28:40):
I got double majors at all of them.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Octuple major.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
I should I don't think I have a uc A ice, Butter, we.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Can fix that.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
That's the easiest, the only one that Sam went to.

Speaker 6 (28:50):
That's the easiest one.

Speaker 5 (28:51):
We can figure that, you know, we could totally fix that.

Speaker 3 (28:55):
I gotta get on this, guys, I need more.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
She seemed at times to have a foot, but she
would shut things down when things got real, like when
we had opportunities to do spicy related stuff or maybe
relationship stuff with at least five women over a couple
of years.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
So is she wanting to like watch? Is that the thing?

Speaker 1 (29:16):
I don't know, that's what it was.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
So I think that that's what that term maybe means.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
But she'd always back out last minute, which I respected.
She remained fascinated by the idea of a multi woman relationship, however,
especially since she has by tendencies but hasn't fully explored
them yet, though she identifies as mostly hetero romantic. Enter
Marlene Okay, Marlene dang it Marlene, I told you stay home.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
So she is a or on the A spectrum makes
sense for previous relationships on the A spectrum romantic.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
She was someone at work dealing with a breakup with
a lot of similar interests, and we became friends with
my wife's full knowledge. With my wife's encouragement, we had
Marlene over to the house a couple of times, and
I eventually broached the subject of dating very vaguely with her. Originally,
Marlene indicated that she'd find it too weird, and I
didn't bring it up again. But we did spend a

(30:07):
lot of time talking and sharing outside of work, and I.

Speaker 5 (30:10):
Grew somewhat fond of her. Eventually, she found that she
was attracted to me after all.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
But though my wife eventually had a crush on her
as well, Marlene wasn't into my wife Kay, as Marlene
identifies as completely hetero. Eventually, with Kay's full knowledge and
blessing in our house, Marlene and I fooled around. We
did the horizontal mambo, we did the taboo tango, We
did the Oh Mama Mama Jambo, the Oh Mama Samba.

Speaker 5 (30:36):
Okay, there we go.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Marlene had a problem with Kay being present, so Kay
was in a different part of the house, though she
could hear us.

Speaker 3 (30:44):
She's pressed up against the wall.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
She's like, you turned it up.

Speaker 5 (30:48):
Kay, go to the mall. Go to the mall, buy
a knick knack? What are you doing?

Speaker 3 (30:51):
And she goes, Okay, do.

Speaker 5 (30:55):
Oh, that's right, because Kay's kind of into that.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
Oh yeah, oh that's her whole thing, that's her spicy desire.
She wants to She doesn't want to be a part
of it, it seems, but she wants to like watch
it and hear it.

Speaker 5 (31:08):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
Afterward, she described being extremely tued it up. As a
second night, Marlene and I fooled around some more, but
this time Marlene asked me to ask Kay to exit
the room again, and I did. This apparently hurt Kay's feelings,
although she didn't tell me until much later, and though
she still reported being vicariously tooted it up.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
Honestly, I feel like, y'all, you need to get a
different partner because if this is what your wife wants
and this is kind of the uh like thing, that
are the rules that you set, and Marlene's not into it,
then you can't do something that Marlene doesn't want to do.

Speaker 5 (31:50):
Yeah, you've got you shouldn't be doing.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
Yeah, you should be doing something that your wife wants
to do.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
You guys are magnets with the same poles. It's like
they're not they're not they're not clicking together. They're yeah,
you can't you can't make them.

Speaker 3 (32:02):
So I feel like you gotta get someone new.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
Eventually, with my wife's apparent encouragement but later reported inner misgivings,
I went to Marlene's hotel with her for a couple
of nights consecutively and we hooked up some more. I
may well have been dense, but at the time I
thought this was giving my wife a vi carryous thrill
and that she had no problem with it.

Speaker 5 (32:23):
I even asked her.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
My wife, even later, when she reported having had problems,
always told me she assumed we went all the way
and had no problems with that, but we didn't, partly
because I didn't know the first night if that was
on the table or not. Fast forward a couple of
months and Marlene had traveled back home from her business trip,
but we stayed in contact outside of work. My wife
initially reported some jealousy, but seemed to move past it

(32:47):
and then started encouraging me to see Marlene some more
when Marlene returned, as she did soon after. During this time,
I spoke often and in depth with my wife about
what sort of relationship we were contemplating. She told me
she found the idea of even marrying Marlene to be
exciting and wanted to take things as they can. Girl.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
She she Marlene is straight. Wow, Marlene is straight.

Speaker 5 (33:11):
So this is the op I'm thinking.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
I was thinking this was gonna be ope, we need
to learn where our boundaries are. But instead it's about
Opie's partner. Oh, Pi, he's partner. You're not okay with this?

Speaker 3 (33:23):
Not okay with this.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
You should express that and be like, let's not because
clearly this is not actually working for me.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Dude, you know what you want. You want to vicariously
be a part of this. You want to watch the
work share combo.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
You want the chair in the corner. You wantair, You
got chair. You're Tyler Durden. Your ned from Spider Man
in the because he've sat in the Tyler Durden in
the movie Fight Club sits in the cup.

Speaker 5 (33:50):
Chair in the hotel.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
I've seen that movie. He sits in it, and he's
interested in that radit.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
I feel like Tyler Jurden would be into that regardless.

Speaker 5 (33:59):
We're not here talk about fight.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Clude.

Speaker 5 (34:01):
I just watched it, that's the first rule.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
I haven't finished it yet, sanging Hopefully that didn't happen
the last hour because I haven't seen that part yet.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Um. Anyway, Marlene returned and we had an idyllic weekend,
all three of us, culminating in two little uh two managetoiens.
After this is where things fell apart. My wife began
acting very conflicted, and eventually, on the last night Marlene
was with us, we wound up doing nothing after initially

(34:28):
planning to, and my wife was completely broken down. For
many weeks following, I had a terrible time at home.
Kay was cold, angry, yelled very often, swore at me
and or called me names, and demanded full access to
my email and phone, which I gave her to help
her feel more secure. I'd already told Marlene that we

(34:49):
couldn't be together, but I think Kay didn't trust me
not to cheat, and or she thought Marlene was trying
to steal me away. Things were stiff between Marlene, who
developed some feelings for me, and I for her. God
uh so working could get tense, but she was classy
and respectful, and I did my best to be the
same way with no off color remarks or anything. I

(35:10):
knew she was having a lot of trouble processing things,
basically having the emotional rug yanked out from under her
by my wife, but I resisted urges to console her.
I think you and your wife, No, you don't get
to do that.

Speaker 5 (35:21):
Ope, you and your.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Wife, my wife. It's all my wife's fault.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Dude. This was a team effort.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
Dude. You knew what your wife wanted, and then you
stop doing what your wife wanted. And then she said, uh, yeah,
I guess it's fine, and then was like, uh, I
don't know if I'm into this, and then clearly showed
discomfort with what was going on. And you did it anyway.
It literally probably the same relationship.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
This the same energy as like when you're like, Babe,
can I go hang out with the boys tonight? I
know we had that like dinner date plan, but I
want to go hang out with the boys.

Speaker 5 (35:53):
And then she's like, I guess it.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
I mean you can do whatever you want, yes, And
then you're like, but you told me.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
I could, like what To be clear, they've both done this,
you know, like she did this start of like hang
out with all these guys and flirting and op being like,
I guess I'm okay with that, and then her doing
it anyway, and then he did it back to her.
So it's like, you guys don't know how to talk
to each other, like express your emotions, tell each other
that you're not okay with it. The only that she
really says everyone sucks her. Yes.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Eventually I was laid off from that job, and Marlene
gave me a very helpful professional recommendation. I decided I
didn't want to lose touch with her out of thankfulness,
but also just because I felt bad for her and
wanted to know her, even if just effectively as pen pals.
So I did keeping my wife in the loop. My
wife wasn't thrilled, but went along with it.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Or why talking out your wife was not happy with it?
You're like, well, I'm doing it anyway. Why do you
guys even married?

Speaker 1 (36:51):
You've lost the plot, lost it of like what y'all's
little fatouche was, You're.

Speaker 5 (36:57):
Now pen paling your third.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
That's not how that works now if it's gonna work
right now I've let my wife read the emails since then,
but they've provoked constant conflict. There's nothing spicy or romantic
about them, but my wife constantly finds fault with word
choices of mine and has accused me of wanting to
be with Marlene instead of her, and has also accused

(37:22):
Marlene of wanting to steal me away, though she lives
in a different state and neither can move. Reads extremely
tenuous meanings into words and phrases in attempts to make
particular communications seem to be invitations for romance. Blah blah
blah blah blah. Kay has even threatened to break up
with me if I didn't stop emailing Marlene, though Kay

(37:42):
eventually took that back and removed her demand that I
not have any contact with Marlene going forward.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
What your wife said, I'm gonna break up with you
if you keep talking to Marlene. Not a great you know,
never good to have an ultimatum, and you went what
she took it back?

Speaker 1 (38:00):
What this is just full blown, like you've gone all
the way down the rabbit hole, Like.

Speaker 3 (38:06):
Imagine this is what you know, Dakota. You're like, I'm
super upset at.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
You because you have.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
I don't know, you keep walking around in the house.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
With your sh with my smooth hair, with my totally
smooth my hair is so smooth.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
I say, Dakota, if you walk around this house house
with your money shoes on, I'm gonna I'm wanna kick
you out of this house and you're never coming back.
And then next day I'm like, Dakota, like whatever. Hopefully
you're like, well, I'm not gonna wear my money shoes
around the house.

Speaker 5 (38:40):
And I'd be like sick.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
She gave me the.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
Okay, whatever I want. That means it's fun, right.

Speaker 5 (38:45):
What is tone? What is what is subtext?

Speaker 2 (38:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (38:48):
I don't understand subtext. I don't know because I can't
read what is a vibe? I'm not even sure. All
I know is what is literally spoken to me. I
am mister literal.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Yep. This has been pretty disruptive on my life with
k recently. For example, we didn't have spicy sleep for
well over a month. I feel unwanted sometimes. Well imagine
how she feels.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Imagine that she feels.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
But and again that's not even Also, it's both of
your fault.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
I feel like you guys are maybe like spicily incompatible
because it seems like she either has little it seems
like little desire for spicy sleep, given you know how
she has defined herself, and Ope seems to have a
lot hires spicy sleep desire. So yeah, you guys are
fully compatible. Yeah, especially just in how you are communicating it.

Speaker 5 (39:36):
I hate it when she says mean things and all that.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Still part of me feels like it's not fair anymore
that she insists I cut off all contact with Marlene.
I don't want to lose her, partly because I do
view her as a friend. I know that to a
certain degree, fairness doesn't matter in these determinations, rather how
one feels still there is there any decent way to
get across to k that I am trust worthy, but

(40:00):
also that I don't feel like it's fair to be
forced to be mean to Marlene. You mean to Marlene?
I swear I've been completely honorable in my dealings with
Marlene since the week where we had the threesomes, and
I'm not angling for a romantic relationship. I just email
her every couple days and enjoy the friendly communications. Plus

(40:22):
feel better about not just cutting her off like she's
a toy. Am I in the wrong. Yes, I am
intentionally posting here instead of in our polyamory or non
monogamy or I want non bias points of view on
what a ballpark of reasonableness looks like given the situation.
I know my wife isn't in the wrong for feeling jealous.

(40:42):
I want to know if I'm being unreasonable by wanting, now,
after all of the on again, off again, on again,
off again, to just be Marlene's friend. Yes, yes, that's unreasonable.

Speaker 3 (40:54):
Unreasonable if you want a relationship with your wife, you
can't be Marlene's.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
Friend like having that Eh.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
Okay, Once you've developed feelings for the person that you
were supposed to just be having like little spicy time with,
probably not best to continue the relationship with her. Yeah,
if you're trying to continue the relationship with your wife.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
Very different if this is just like a coworker and
you're friends with them and they were never brought into
the fold, so to speak, Like yeah, then.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
And wrestling Mama says, but it's different. Yeah, wife was
wrong on making your boundaries clear. We know the wife
was wrong, we know she cheated.

Speaker 5 (41:29):
Yeah, they were both wrong.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
They're both wrong. Oh, p is the one asking us
the questions. I'm gonna direct the met op Yeah, yep,
figure it out, dude, because otherwise you got a divorce.
Because this is not working the way that it's going.

Speaker 5 (41:42):
It's time to walk away. It's time. I don't think
you guys are compatible partners.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, and I think it'll probably everly just end with
someone cheating on someone. But that is the end of
that story. We have another one coming right up, Hey,
John Ogi host here.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick
three minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the
show alive.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
My wife cheated with me. Now I fear she's cheating
on me.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
Dang, it sucks when the shoes on the other foot,
doesn't it.

Speaker 3 (42:08):
I thirty eight male, have known my wife thirty four female,
for sixteen years. We dated for one month when we
first met. We stopped dating when she met a guy
who would be her serious boyfriend for the next five years.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Pause for context. They were in high school. Yeah, that
was sixteen years old when that happened.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
By the way, this comes from not show and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash. Okay, storytime subured it, so we remained good
friends for those five years. I would very often hang
out with her and her boyfriend. Toward the end of
the five years, her boyfriend was living about two hours
away and they saw each other less and less frequently.
It was known by all of her friends that she

(42:49):
felt like he wasn't committing to her the way she
felt he should after the amount of time, and she
was rather unhappy. Around that time, she needed a roommate
and I needed a place, so I moved in with
her and another girl.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
May I just quickly say, moving two hours away at
twenty one and staying in a relationship with somebody is
a very committed thing to do. Raise So that makes
no sense immediately from my perspective commitment.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
Man. Yeah, we started hooking up while she was still
with her boyfriend. Yikes, that's not cool. It was more
than just fooling around, and we both had strong feelings
for each other. Dude, he's two hours away.

Speaker 5 (43:26):
Break up with him, dude, how do you even so?

Speaker 1 (43:29):
How do you know? Those are her feelings for you though,
and not her feelings for the guys she's cheating on
being expressed? Threw her into you as like a vehicle.
What before we started hooking up. I had planned to
move out of town, same country, really far away. I
asked her if she would come with me. She said no,
she was gonna stay with her boyfriend. I left heartbroken.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
A few months later, she came to visit me with
some friends and asked if the offer still stood. I
told her it did, and she packed up everything and
left her hometown to live with me in a strange city.
Did she break up with her boyfriend? Is she still
with her boyfriend? Things were great. We were youngish, kind
of poor, but we worked hard, saved money, and made
a life for ourselves. After five years of living together,

(44:16):
I finally asked her to marry me. Presumably she broke
up with her boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
I would hope at this point boyfriend knows yeah, and
he's on the outs.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
She said yes, and all was well. We bought a
condo together and planned our wedding. Around this time, her
work transferred her to a different office, which was a
longer commute one hour versus twenty five minutes. It sucked,
but she liked her job, so she stuck with it.
She had a male coworker who she was really good
friends with. He was married with three kids. We hung

(44:46):
out with him and his wife a few times, and
it was pretty obvious that he was attracted to my wife.
My threat radar went off one time when he his wife,
my wife, and I were playing cards, and he muttered God, beautiful,
kind of under his breath, but loud enough for me
and maybe his wife to hear. He wasn't talking about
his wife.

Speaker 5 (45:07):
So what? What?

Speaker 1 (45:08):
What is? What is that? That's you?

Speaker 5 (45:12):
I don't even know. That sounds fake.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Yeah, that's because beautiful whose wife is not immediately going.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
Yeah the hell? Did you share that? Was that to me?

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Did you just did?

Speaker 5 (45:25):
We're gonna leave. We're gonna have to talk to you
in the car right now.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
I told my wife about that incident and that it
bothered me, but she shrugged it off, and I didn't
really think too much about it. So the office move
had brought them closer to the guy's house. You mentioned
one time about how she had gone over there during
lunch to babe to play bags and drink adult soda.
What's bags?

Speaker 5 (45:45):
Probably cornhole.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
It was kind of an offhand comment, and it was
the only time she talked about them hanging out at lunch.
I didn't like it at all, but I didn't say anything.
So we got married, and literally two days after the
wedding and we found out that she wast We planned
to have kids, but not right away. Nonetheless we were happy.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Oh wait, pause really quick? They were playing cards, right,
Kat has in the comments. Kat's theory is that he
was talking about his cards, which actually does make sense.
He's like, if you're playing cards, you can just get
a good hand. You were trying to be cheeky, or
you get a bad hand, you're trying to bluff.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
Well, yeah, I want to gage if you thought it
was directed at because he says, oh, he wasn't talking
to his wife.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Well, it could be the threat radar, because it's like, yeah,
you lose him, how you got him?

Speaker 5 (46:31):
You already know she's down to cheat.

Speaker 3 (46:32):
When we were talking to people about us having a baby,
I would sometimes make jokes about not being sure if
it was mine.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
What Why did you make that joke?

Speaker 3 (46:41):
My intentions were totally benign, at least consciously. After I
made this joke a few times, she finally told me
that she really.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
Didn't like it. When I said that, Wow, I wonder why.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
Wow, I could tell she was serious, so I apologized
and never did it again. It struck me as a
little strange, though, because we messed with each other all
the time and it's never a problem. What are you
talking about, dude, that your baby gonna freaking like that.
You're saying that you're joking about whether or not you're
the father.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
Yeah, like, yeah, she's not gonna like that, dumb dum, dummy,
it's not.

Speaker 5 (47:13):
You can't.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
You can't. You can't involve the baby in the joke
and then be like, ah, come one.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
One day, we were sharing a romantic moment. I was
looking at her in the eyes and said something to
the effect of I can't wait to see our baby.
I was looking her in the eyes and waiting for
a reaction, but she just kind of poused. She didn't
laugh or do anything right away. It was really awkward,
and it freaked me out. So I'm imagining, Oh, he's like,

(47:40):
I can't wait to see our baby. I was really
upset about it for a day or so, but I
didn't say anything. The thought that the child may not
be mine was in the back of my mind from
then on. I'm sorry, you're thought what that's how, that's
why you thought that that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
How did we get here? How have we jumped all
the way to hear?

Speaker 3 (48:00):
I feel like, oh, he is just so insecure and
so like paranoid because this he cheated with.

Speaker 5 (48:07):
Her, And yeah, maybe this is the penance you pay.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
So our daughter was born. She's a lovely child. I
can't express how much I love her. She really does
look like me and my wife, So what my fears
about her not being mine were mostly removed. My wife
is a fantastic mother to her two. She is now
pregnant with our second child. So quite recently we had
dinner with the work guy and his wife. Work guy

(48:31):
was drinking quite heavily. He has a very loud and
outgoing personality, quite likable. He likes to make lude jokes
and sometimes takes it too far for social comfort. That night,
he made a comment about a waitress's front airbags while
sitting right next to his wife.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Oh so he's just he's that kind of guy who
he's gross.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
She heard him and looked at him, and he kind
of made a face like.

Speaker 5 (48:54):
Well, what are you gonna deny it?

Speaker 3 (48:57):
You know, see those honkers?

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Though I want to make a sorry, I'll leave that.

Speaker 5 (49:05):
Let that one's sleep.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
We got to talking about a coworker of his who
had done some pretty messed up things at work which
involved him. It was an ethical thing that would likely
have gotten that person fired if he had told on her,
but he didn't tell. I joked to him, Ah, that
person must have dirt on you. His reply was, yeah,
that I was banging your wife at work. Ah. He

(49:29):
said that in front of his wife and your wife.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
This can't even be real. There's no way who is
this guy? I mean, how unless he's just like blacked
out at this point, because they did say he was
drinking a lot, and that is totally something that just
would just flip right out of you if you had
been drinking too.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Much and makes a joking face like, ooh, shouldn't have
said that while looking at my wife. I looked at
my wife and her head was turned. Either she didn't
here or she was pretending not to have heard. I
feel like he wouldn't have said it. There's two possibilities. One,
he said it because he ye had he is doing it.
Two he waited until she was not listening and looking

(50:13):
to say it to get a rise out of Ope.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Yeah, I just think he did it. He did that,
He did that, and just did it, and like, I
don't know. Sometimes you know, there's like the psychological principle
of like the criminal returning to the scene of the
crime and being in close proximity to the investigation, because
it's almost like they want the credit, they want to
get caught, they want everyone to know, they want to

(50:37):
let go of the weight. So that might have just
been he got drunk enough to be like, yeah, you
know what, I'm banging your wife at work. Oh oops, Oh,
I shouldn't have said that.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
That freaked me the f out. I was trying to
keep my cool, but I was visibly irritated. My wife
asked me what was wrong, but I didn't tell her.
I didn't sleep that night. All I could do was think,
what would happen if it were true. I wanted to
ask my wife, but I was afraid of offending her
and sounding mistrustful if it were true, or worse, having

(51:08):
her tell me it was true. That was almost two
weeks ago now and I still haven't asked. I think
I have to do it because my suspicions just haven't
gone away. Every now and then. The feeling I had
that night comes back, and I can't shake it. My
wife has noticed for sure. I thought about all the
things that could point to her having an affair with

(51:28):
this guy. There really isn't too much else. But one
thing that I did find strange is that she deleted
her old email account after we got married and changed
her name. You got married, though, she changed her name
because her name changed.

Speaker 5 (51:42):
No, maybe she changed it to like a completely different name.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
Yeah, Bleaede Bleades fire fire Blade.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Yes, my name is Moonflower Fireblaze Underscore ninety nine.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
Like not disabled or stopped using it, but it. I
asked her why and told her that didn't make sense
because she would miss emails send to the old address.
She gave some answer like she wanted emails to that
addressed to bounce so people would not use it anymore.
That kind of makes sense.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
I guess.

Speaker 3 (52:13):
She also deletes emails in her new Gmail account after
she's done with them. Oh yeah, people do that.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
That's how you end up with not thirty seven thousand emails.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
I asked her why she did that when she could
just mark them as red or archive them when she's done.
She said she doesn't want them around cluttering up her inbox.
And that's reasonable, buddy, that's reasonable, and they'll do that.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
You just have to approach your wife and be like, hey,
so you remember how we got together, right, I'm nervous.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
I mean, she cheated the last guy with me. Why
wouldn't she cheat on me? What do you guys think?
Did she do it? Should? I ask her? And there
is an update, folks, Dude, talk to your wife. Stop
coming up like you've been thinking about this for freaking
the whole time you guys have been together. You have
always thought that she's going to cheat on you, So like,
talk to her. I don't know. If you can't trust her,

(53:04):
then why are you in a relationship with her? I
think I don't even think she is cheating. I think
he's just so paranoid.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
I think he's also written this from perspective where it
sounds like he knows if he brings it up that
in and of itself, is going to end a relationship. Potentially,
if you're already put in that box and like it's
your relationship, isn't even a safe space for you to
like talk about how you're really feeling. Depending on what

(53:32):
the feeling is, then it's over, Okay.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
I finally talked to my wife. I was really nervous
and trying to set up a good opportunity. When it
got as good as I thought it was going to get,
I just said, so, did anything ever happen between you
and the guy? Not the smooth delivery I had hoped
to me.

Speaker 5 (53:49):
No, not smooth at all.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
She said, you mean, like romantically? No? No, never. She
seemed very sincere, and I believed her right away.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Oh dude, she hate you with the loophole immediately, what
are you talking about? What you mean romantically? She's gonna
be like, yeah, but there was nothing romantic about when
we were just like banging' that's what she's going to say.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
I don't know. I feel like that. I feel like
that great of.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
A reply is like no, what or she's just lying.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
I don't think she's lying. I went on to tell
her all the reasons I was worried, and she was
very understanding. She was upset that I didn't trust her.
She did start crying when I told her about my
fears that our daughter might not have been mine. She
was upset that I would even think that, which is
what I anticipated and one of the main reasons I
waited so long to tell her, I put her in

(54:33):
my shoes and asked how she would feel if a
female coworker of mine acted in a similar way. It
seemed like she hadn't considered that, and she admitted to
being jealous and insecure in the past, which made me
feel better. I don't think she's cheating. I think he's
incredibly paranoid.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
Really, yeah, given everything we were like that was said
about those interactions at the restaurant.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
All we know is that he said, yo, when I
was banging your wife, and that op said that she
didn't hear or like se like she didn't hear it.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
Belligerently drinky, not belligerently. But he's like drinking. He's overly drinky.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
Dude. This sounds like when when guys go when I
was banging your mom. That's what that sounds.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
So here's an interesting psychological principle that I've learned from
about interrogations from the police. Right when you're innocent and
accused of a crime, really, your reaction is going to
be wait, okay.

Speaker 5 (55:26):
Wait, what are we talking about? You think I did?

Speaker 3 (55:28):
What? What?

Speaker 5 (55:29):
What are you talking?

Speaker 1 (55:30):
No, Hey, that needs to stop. We are not we're
not talking about me doing a crime, because I didn't
do one. But that's what she did. But people who
are guilty will perceive that, they'll they'll do a flip
thing in their mind where they're like, oh, well, if
I freak out about it, I'll look guilty, so I
need to just be chill about it and almost ignore it.

Speaker 5 (55:45):
But that is what guilty people do.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
I don't think she did that at all.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
She did she turned away. She just turned away and
pretended like she didn't hear it.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
That's what she don't know, he said. I don't know
if she heard it or no.

Speaker 5 (55:56):
She she heard it, she heard it, I don't think she.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
Think of all the times you've been sitting around a
restaurant and you've heard someone's conversation a table away from you,
but the same table.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Sometimes person right next to me is talking. I'm like
zoned out.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
It's all the time.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
I'm what's up here? What's over there? Right next to me?
At a restaurant in Columbia, I was full gone. You
asked me a question. I had no idea what you
said to me.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Yeah, but there's also a dozen people at that table.
This is a pit table with four people.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
No, no, she said she was turned away. Who is
she talking news?

Speaker 1 (56:26):
Probably she's not talking anybody. I think that she's whistling
show to herself.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
With friends, Do Sophia, this guy is and his friend
it's his wife's cowork He shouldn't be that comfortable joke
like that. I agree. I think he's a creep. To
be clear, I think he's a freaking creep. But I
I think that I think that she is not cheating
with I still think he's a weirdo and a creep,
but I don't think that he's cheating with her. I
think he wants op to think that he is cheating

(56:56):
with her because he's attracted to Opie's wife.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
The cherry on top for all of this I that
which that very well could be true. But the cherry
on top for all of this is that the wife
was acting like she's she's so confused as to where
this idea is coming from. That's the thing that's getting
me is she's like, I don't understand how you could
think this.

Speaker 5 (57:17):
It's like, girl, yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
You need to do it. Wasn't cheating then, but chet
start this relationship.

Speaker 3 (57:23):
That's fair.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
So it's crazy for her to be like, well, where
is this coming from?

Speaker 3 (57:25):
It's that she said, Oh my god, I didn't even
think about she.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
I know, I thought she was saying that it was
she didn't think about if it was on oh, if
this was a female coworker of ops, how she'd be feeling.

Speaker 3 (57:36):
Was like, yeah, I've been thinking about because of how
you guys got together, and she's like wow.

Speaker 5 (57:40):
Regardless crazy that, she was like.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
Where why don't under She made lots of reassurances that
if she was ever unhappy enough in our relationship that
she would think about seeing someone else, that she would
let me know things were bad way before it got
to that point.

Speaker 5 (57:54):
But you didn't do that the first time.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
Which yeah, I agree. I don't think she's in the
right for that. It's hard to describe about You can
tell someone is telling the truth, but I could really
tell unless she's some kind of amazing liar, which I
think I would know about after sixteen years. She did
defend her do she friend's actions a little, which I
was bothered by. She said, he always says things like
that and doesn't really mean anything.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
But see looks she's trying to be like this, disregard him.
It's not happening. She's doing the list. What list? We're
talking about the list? No one cares about the list.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
I still think he's just a dip crap. I told
her I didn't want to hang out with him and
his wife anymore. We have moved twelve hundred miles away
from where they are now, so it doesn't really matter. So, yeah,
I'm the paranoid, insecure Jack, but that I was open.
I was Dakota and I are. We are splits. We
can't be and we don't know. So put in the
comments if you think she's cheating, let us know what

(58:49):
you guys think. But that's the end of that story. Yeah,
and the end of this episode. So if you love us,
make sure to subscribe.

Speaker 5 (58:56):
We love you, and see them.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
Oh

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