March 26, 2025 • 54 mins
It’s Dump Him Week, which means we have stories about saying farewell to toxic relationships and hello to red flag-free living. If you’re new here and looking for the story “My husband cheated… but he has cancer! should I stay?” Just click the link below.
Dump Him Week - My husband cheated… but he has cancer! should I stay? | Part 1
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r/BestofRedditorUpdates - [New Update – 9 Months later]: AITAH for divorcing during my husbands mental health crisis
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Cowboy Sam, and this is ye how John,
And we've last owed in some amazing stories for y'all
the Okay Storytime podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little
two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks
to help this show stay alive.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
So Sam, it's dumping week, which means we are taking
out the trash emotionally speaking, that.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Is yeah, John, we have stories this week that will
make you stay fair well to with those toxic relationships
that you may or may not have or maybe had
the past. You're gonna say goodbye to those and hello
the red Flag free living.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Oh yeah, and if you knew here looking for the
first story in the series titled my husband cheated but
he has cancer?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Should I stay?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Just click the link in our show notes last description,
or just search Dumping Week, Okay story Time wherever you
get your podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Now let's get into today's story.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I divorced my husband during his mental health crisis. What
I mean best time Right August seventeenth, twenty twenty three.
Me thirty eight female and my husband, thirty eight mal married,
have been married since two thousand and nine, and we
have a preteen daughter. Last three years have been really
tough on us because of my husband's bad working conditions
(01:11):
that started to affect his mental health. I noticed signs
of burnout and depression and brought up these concerns to
him regularly. He's very dismissive and refused to see his
situation and refuse therapy. By the way, this comes from
thought willing and if you want to smit your old stories,
go to our size. Okay story temes up ad. So
we started becoming distant and often isolated himself and was
(01:33):
regularly butting heads with our daughter. Eventually told me that
he had met a woman at work. Their relationship was not,
according to him, physical, but he was in love with
her and felt that she was his soulmate and best friend.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Oh dude, dude, come on.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
My working theory of why nurses sheat a lot. My
working theory is because they go through so much craziness
day to day that it's like a bond. It's like
a trauma bond.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Today. Yeah, I mean you're seeing those people every day,
like literally for hours on end. You're probably sleep deprived.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Mm hmm, sleep deprived and the only person that will
make you feel better is someone that might make you
laugh for giggle, and then you're like, I'm in love
and you're gonna make them cheap.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
That's not your excuse. You need to figure that out, man,
I'm just throwing that out there, conspiracy theory. He said
he was very sorry that he could not decide which
woman he would ultimately be happiest with.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I don't like that dud someone.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
If someone told me that they were like, I don't
know who to choose, they'd be like, not me. I'm
gonna make that choice easy on you.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
If you there, you go. There's just like saying that
if you fall in love with two women, you should
go with the second woman, because if you truly love
the first woman, you would be in this situation exactly.
He spoke out about this at home whilst I was
having the toughest time in my life. I cried alone
over my dreams and plans, everything we had together. He
also told me that in order to clear his head,
(03:01):
he would need to leave the house and spend some
time on his own. That coworker had offered him her
spare bedroom and he was gonna take it. I knew
exactly where he was going with this, dude.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Come on, come on, you're you're not trying to work
out anything.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I asked for his help organizing the rest of the
school year as I was commuting, and I promised him
that as soon as the school year was over, I
would look for an apartment closer to my work, and
me and our daughter will move out and he can
have the house to himself for his healing. I found
an apartment almost immediately and we moved. He visited us
(03:36):
one week in a month, and brought his chaos with
him every time. The new home had become a safe
haven that we cherished, and he took it over as
soon as he appeared, and it felt like I wasn't
breathing until he finally left. After six months of living
like this, I decided I had given things enough time
to mend, and they had not. I was still hurt
(03:58):
and bitter, and he was still cagey about what was
going on and what his ultimate decision really was. I
told him I was done living like this and I
wanted a divorce.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Nikes, nice, don't be the other woman. No, he already
told you that you are not a priority for him.
He already told you that he's going to live with
this woman, that he was emotionally cheating on you with.
He's done, he's done.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Out of here. He absolutely lost his crap and left
and drove back to our old house in the middle
of the night just to get away from me. A
week later, he told me the coworker is pregnant and
he was angry that I didn't want to even try
and fix our marriage. Sophia, how long does it How
long does it take for a woman to find out
that she is pregnant.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
It's around like a six eight.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Weeks six eight weeks, okay, so yeah, sometimes you can
find her earlier, but like that doesn't make that doesn't
make sense, Like you're mad at her, really, like three.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
Weeks maybe six eight weeks is when you tell the people.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Chat when when is that?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
But like two to three weeks.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Basically you did something three weeks earlier and there's proof
of that, and you're mad that your wife didn't What
if she did want to fix your marriage and then
all of a sudden boom, oh, by the way, she's pregnant.
Co workers pregnant, that's what. Yeah, So like like you're
the other one, you're like the wife and you're like, yeah,
I'm gonna fix it out and boom cok, Like that
(05:23):
may just make any sense?
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Now, your actions also have to line up with your words.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yeah. Since then, he has gone increasingly more hostile and
accusatory in his communication with me.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Of course he is.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
He blames me for breaking up the marriage and abandoning
him during his crisis.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Dude, he's the one who literally chose another person.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
He says he was not himself and has no idea
why he did the things he did, but that I
was the one who left. He claims I was no
help when he needed me, and that I clearly mentally
abandoned our relationship long before, more than three years prior.
He tells me, I'm cold and calculating and clearly not
the person he thought I was.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
That's insane to have the audacity to tell your partner
that you emotionally cheated on, that they're not the person
that you thought they were, because they're leaving you for
emotionally cheating on them.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
You know what, this this career, just like working here
has maybe become I want to become a speaker or
men's mental whatever, like so they can fix their health
because like divorces are like fifty six percent. Like I
feel like men need to like figure out what's going
on in their head before they get into a relationship.
Us this doesn't happen, yes, And dude, like I'm even
(06:41):
scared to even like figure out what it is now
a days with the Internet and all the all the
in cels and all this stuff.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Like, ah, yeah, men don't. Men don't do any interior
work before they get into a relationship.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
It's true, it's true.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
And then they're like, I wonder why it's not working out.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
It's not me.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
It couldn't possibly be me.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
It's not me, And I haven't talked about any of
my problems, so it's.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Not to me. I never told them about any of
my emotions.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I will say I have some really solid friends here
in LA and it does take courage to talk about
your emotions. But every time something happens, they come to
me and they're like, yo, what's up. And I, you know,
I'm vulnerable, and I tell them what's up and they listen,
and like, yeah, they'll give me some insight, but they'll listen.
And I think that's the biggest thing. And thank you
Keon thank you, Dakota, thank you, Sam, thank you John,
thank you Christian and Maly You're always there. I'm talking
(07:27):
about my sorry, but also Sophia, my rock solid galfriend
through all this and feel I honestly the key for
me to have a healthy relationship with women is to
get to the insight on like the woman mind and
like you know, you're always helping me. I do think
like having a girl best friend does help out with
situations like that.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Yeah, no, they know howthy females work.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah, he's my best guy friend.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
And do you listen to him?
Speaker 4 (07:51):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
It is sometimes.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Do you listen to us when we give you advice? Sofia, Wow,
how he figured out how the turntables?
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Hey, I'm listening. I'm listening now.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
Okay, I'll hold you to that one, sister.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
If I make different mistakes in the future, don't worry about.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
We're gonna go Nana Nana boo boo. That you smell
like stinky doodoo.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Don't worry about that.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I understand that he is not well. He finally did
go to therapy. Yes, I explained a lot of his
action with that in mind at first, So I am
in a hole. He claims I have a come taking
his daughter away and leaving. We got some relevant comments.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
You're literally not the a hole. I don't understand he's
gaslighting you. He's gaslighting you. Yeah, he betrayed you.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Okay, I think big Basin, that's a good comment here.
You took your daughter and yourself from an unstable living
situation exactly. Maybe it had become stable tomorrow, but you
gave it a lot of time. His mental health crisis
may mean he's out of his mind, but either he's
still responsible for his actions or he's not. If he is,
(08:57):
you left him because of his actions seems recent. If
he's not responsible for his actions, then you left him
because he's deeply in crisis for an extended period and
you can't continue to live that way, or have your
daughter lived that way. I'm curious and concerned about your
daughter's experience of this. Those are the people my heart
goes out to the most, your daughter and your husband's
(09:18):
new child. Because everyone else ahle or not with some
form of volunteer for this. The kids get no choice
but all the consequences. But I don't think leaving your
husband while he's in crisis is unacceptable, especially giving the
long duration and terrible experience for you of that crisis,
not the ahole ope response. Honestly, it's our daughter I'm
(09:39):
mostly worried about in this situation. He's clearly has changed
a lot, no matter how much his mental health plays
into it. Everything we use to be so much of
one mind has changed for him. He will not keep
his opinions to himself when our daughter visits him, and honestly,
I'm left to pick up the pieces when she comes
(10:00):
and slowly opens up to what her father has been
talking during his visit. I'm really trying my best not
to ever speak ill of him in front of her,
and I basically keep my family in the dark because
I don't want them to have an attitude towards him
that could reflect on her. He seems to have no
such issues, as I'm slowly finding out. He choos me
(10:21):
up in private conversations, which I can deal with, but
he also says stuff like after your mother punted me out,
I can't help you anymore, and all I want is
to have our family back to our daughter, and I
feel like that's horribly unfair.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
He's trying to manipulate your daughter into thinking that it's
also your fault. He's using your daughter against you.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Oh my gosh, dude, he's really wallowing in his misery
right now. And I still have sympathy for him, but
he is burdening his daughter and painting me as an
absolute villain. He still hasn't told her about the new baby,
and honestly, I'm a little loss at what to do
with all this.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
I think dang, someone said, Frank the Bug says, daughter
needs therapy big time. Oh, big time, because I mean,
even though op, he's not doing anything, but this daughter
is caught in between two parents who are fighting messily
and involving this daughter even though he's not. I mean
(11:22):
it's not like the dad is doing it. Oh he's
not doing it, but like it's still this daughter is
becoming the there is in between like a tugg o
war right now.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Yeah, it's really.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Frank the Bug says, this is the AMMO for a divorce.
She needs to gather everything she can.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Yeah, get the receipts going, get them lined up, ducks
in a row.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Just know, like, you are not the problem here. He is,
and it doesn't I think it does explain some of
his actions if he was in a mental health crisis.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
You don't know.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Anyone your time or your your presence if they're actively hurting,
regardless of whether or not they're in an emotional You
know mental health crisis facts.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
True. We'll got an update to do it four days later. Hello,
and I have been reading all the comments on the
original posts and try to answer as many of the
questions as I could. The original post can be found
through my user page. I want to write an update
since my post seem to raise some questions, and also
thank you for your engagement on the post. It's mean
a lot to me. The divorce is in process, hey,
(12:26):
and I have not seen him in person for some
four months. At this point. He mostly keeps radio silent
until it seems he has to unload some hurt on me.
I've kept my contact to him at a minimum, only
ever messaging him in things regarding our daughter or requesting
him to react to official paperwork or to his electric
(12:47):
bills that I have transferred to him due to the
circumstances in which we started this separation. Originally, I paid
most of his living expenses, mainly since I have a
steady job and get paid double his set. This girl
is paying for him, what does he offer nothing. He's
still very much incapacitated by his mental health issues, and
(13:07):
I wanted to alleviate some of the practical matters for him.
Now that we are pulling everything apart. He has been,
maybe personally, making this into a very slow and frustrating process.
I still pay for his electricity, and he reimburses those
bills for me at the end of each month. Sometimes
(13:27):
he needs encouraging. Usually this leads to him messaging me
all day, usually complains on how I'm now raising our
daughter and now that I've made him obsolete his words,
telling me to get a new dad to help me
with the job as soon as possible. He seems to
try very hard to push my buttons by saying things
(13:48):
like it must be very hard for you to send
your daughter to someone you loathe and hate so much.
And if I make the mistake of losing my temper
even for one curse word, he will turn immediately and
tell me to calm down, stop spitting acid, and maybe
we should continue our discussion when I'm not so wound up.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
He's gas sighting you. He's gaslighting you so hard, yikes.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
I have mainly chosen not to engage in these conversations
if when they start going off the rails. I have
all of his outbursts in writing. I am also currently
under the impression that the coworker is not interested in
a relationship with him anymore. All of those who ask, yes,
the baby is his by his own word, he still
(14:33):
has not told our daughter about any of it. I
have chosen to give him an ultimatum on the matter.
I will bring it up one more time when we
have our official meeting with our child wherefore of officer
next month. That's the official route where we live. And
if he still refuses, I will take it to myself
and tell our daughter the truth. I remember when my
(14:54):
cousin found out her parents were divorce. I remember when
she found out she had like a half brother. She
was kind of like shocking. I didn't even understand it. Yeah,
I was like I don't know eleven. Yeah, I was
like what half brother? Like half of you? Is he
missing aside? And then I kind of figured it out
and I was like, oh, well, oh, uncle Shane bro
(15:16):
that guy that that guy's read a story, dude one time.
This is so messed up. I'm sorry. She'll never watched this.
I was like driving by one of my buddies parents workplace.
I'm like, oh, yeah, that's where my buddy's mom works.
She's like, oh yeah, behind, that's the hotel where I
caught my husband cheating on me.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
And I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, I feel so bad.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
It was the rest of the like five minutes were
just kind of like, why would you reing it out?
It must have I don't know, it must have like
got got to where we dude. That was so funny.
I remember my grandma. She was there the moment my
aunt caught her husband cheating. Because the way that they
figured it out was, I think like whenever you dialed numbers,
(15:59):
it shows up on TV like who's calling you? And
she found out that he was calling from a different
area code rather than his cell phone, and she was like,
he's like, no, baby, I'm not cheating on you while
he was at the other guy's house. Crazy. Sorry. So
I don't mean to put out family drama, but I
(16:19):
know they'll never watch this. They never bring it up.
But Thanksgiving, Riley, they never do. They never bring up
Oh I remember that one time you said this on.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
And you know you have to do it at your wedding,
and the code is gonna be, like I told you.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
So, something bad's gonna happen. A code is gonna be
in the exact of the wedding.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
He told me so. He told me so.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
He's gonna be like, you should have had it with
just her, You should have had a second wedding. You
should have had a sacred wedding. Riley, that's what he's
gonna do.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
Yeah, he's gonna come up here right now. It's like
secret wedding, secret wedding.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
So many of you have encouraged me to do this
for her sake and for the sake of our relationship,
and I thank you for sharing your experiences with me.
I have also contacted her school therapist and the curator
and for them of the issue she is facing and
the ones distilled to come. That's so smart. I wish
they did that for the other kid because her grades
were failing and she was acting out. I'm hoping they
(17:13):
will offer her some scheduled help since I know she
is so shy and telling me everything. She is the
most important thing in my life and I am as
sorry as I am for her having to go through
this essentially because of my choices. I refuse to take
all the blame now, and I'm ready to shift it
where it belongs. Personally, I'm a much happier person these days.
(17:36):
I feel bursts of gratefulness and true happiness the days
just by watching her eat her dinner and talk to
me about her day at dinner in our clean and
peaceful home. Even my houseplants are thriving. As silly as
it sounds, that's kind of crazy.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
When you got a good environment, the plants like it.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I need more studies on this. I finally, Oh, my goodness,
what okay?
Speaker 5 (18:00):
A family member.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I have certain texts like vibrations of certain family members,
and a family member did just text me It wasn't
about that, that would.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Why are you talking about us?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
It was my brother. He was saying he could visit
the may Maybe that's nice. I have finally opened up
about all of this to some friends and my siblings,
and they have all been super supportive. And my siblings
were clearly shocked, but both did bring up that they
are somehow not surprised it went this way. They seem
to have seen things a bit more clearly from Afar,
(18:32):
just like the community did thank you from the bottom
of my heart. I feel like my daughter and me
are going to be just fine in the end. Some
relevant comments. It is also shocking that when people from
the outside see these things and like, ah, makes sense.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Oh yeah, people like have seen the relationship progress and
they're like, yeah, I kind of saw that coming, and
they're like, oh, everyone saw it but me.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah, that hurts. That hurts.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Cool.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yes, I actually laughed out loud of the part where
he told Ope his affair partner was pregnant, but he
can't believe Op doesn't want to fix the marriage in
the same breath, like, buddy, do you hear yourself?
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Because also he was like, yeah, it was only an
emotional affair, and then we find out that it's literally
a physical affair and he's having a child with this person.
He was like, but you don't want to fix the marriage?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Ope, Honestly, at this point had already made up my mind,
And when I sat there and listened to his rants,
I got the feeling that so much more was to come.
When he finally told me about the pregnancy, I newly
laughed out loud myself. It was so absurd that it
felt like the whole drama had been turned into a facade, farse, farce,
(19:43):
like people would never believe me if I told them
the whole story. And with that reaction, I realized that
I was really mentally in a better place, one foot
out the door and not ever going back. This was
not my crap show to deal with anymore. At Punt
thirty one eighty six says, stop paying the electric bill,
(20:04):
stop being a sympathetic or empathetic with him, Do not engage.
You need to do this for yourself. You owe that
to yourself, OPI. My friends have also told me to
just drop the electricity contract from my plan and give
it to him to figure out. Logically, I know it
takes one call for him to make a new contract.
(20:24):
He gives me excuses I know are false. But since
I know how passive his mental health issues have made him,
and how insurmountable insurmountable small things can become, I find
it so difficult to do this and go back on
my word. There is also the fear how making our
current bad relationship even worse will neverly reflect on our
(20:49):
daughter and getting through all the legalities, legalities and getting
through all the legalities, I can't wait until this is
all done and dusted. Update two to three months later.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Yeah, I mean it's tricky because you're trying to get divorced,
and also your husband is actively trying to manipulate your daughter,
which will make custody agreement really difficult. Later on, Yeah,
I think doctor a lawyer. Oh, absolutely get custody of
this kid as fast as you possibly can. Three months later, Hello,
redd it, it's been months since my original post and update.
(21:23):
People were very nice to me and offered me some
really good advice and a lot of emotional support and criticism.
I took a lot of it to heart. I finally
separated the rest of our finances, stopped paying his bills,
and made official agreements on child support in custody, which
remained shared for now as he went back on his
word to give it to me. I'm contested he did
(21:46):
not agree to sign an official visitation agreement because he
cannot commit to it right now. God can can't commit
to seeing his child.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
He can commit to cheating.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah, he can't commit to anything right now.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
He can commit to make a new baby.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
I offered him every other weekend and a half of
all holidays. He has started to meet our daughter more often,
though since nowadays she actually visits him on her own
free will. It seems like their relationship has gotten a
bit better lately, which I'm of course happy about, as.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Long as he's not freaking saying bad things about you.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Oh yeah, he better not be better not be. He has
been absolutely terrible towards me, though. He started a campaign
of passive aggressive texting after I asked him to be civil.
Now every message is overly syrupy and filled with overflowing apologies.
I ignore this until he decided to talk to me
face to face. When he went to sign the agreements,
(22:41):
he told me his therapist told him to talk to
me for closure and speak his mind, so he did.
He once again just explained to me how hard the
last year has been, and how I tore the marriage apart,
how he was not ready to accept this divorce and
never will be, how nothing in his current life is
what he wanted or asked for, and considers it an insult.
(23:03):
If I congratulated him over the upcoming baby, et cetera.
This felt really off, considering he just had moved in
with his affair partner. He originally tried to hide this
too and was evasive, but of course our daughter found
out the next time she visited him, and he also
told me, I know it is pointless, but I feel
(23:27):
I needed to say something, so I told him that
he completely continues to ignore all my pain in your
mental work. I had to do over this whole thing,
and I can't help the fact that my love passed
away in the process. He says, I didn't even.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Try this man, the audacity of this man. All you
had to do was try and keep it in your pants,
but you couldn't couldn't do that, and now you're blaming
your wife.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
It's my wife's fault that I'm jeeves.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Fault that I couldn't be faithful.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
He even said my parents were more supportive of him
because they had exchanged pleasure trees, having met briefly a
few weeks prior. His coworkers were more supportive than me.
I told him to look in the mirror and that
his little passive aggressive game was so obvious. Clearly hit
home because he stopped immediately after. He has been snooping
(24:17):
over my dating life through our daughter and is very
jealous say so and gets very verbally aggressive over it.
Speaker 4 (24:24):
How hypocritical. He's like, I know I cheated on you
physically and had a baby with someone else, but you
can't have your own love life.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
Yeah, he's just taking l's left and right. He's such
a loser, el l. It's an l seven WEENI Now.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
The thing that brought me back to you here tonight
is that despite my life having turned so much better
than the last few months, and me and my daughter
have been happier in a long while, I fell into
an unexpected hole today. He was supposed to have her
over this weekend but ended up canceling. The reason he
gave me was different than what he had gave her daughter,
so I knew he'd lied to someone. Yesterday, he blew
(25:02):
up on me over texts that originally started as a
discussion over our daughter's visits. He stated the same old
song of me being so petty over such a minor
thing as his affair that was apparently not even a
real affair at first.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
It wasn't even a real affair at first, like I
only am physically cheated with her like later.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
This guy's delusional, bro man is crazy.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
He's like it was just an affair. It's like, no biggie.
He's like, you did the worst thing. You left me.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
You gave up on me.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
He gave up on this after I had a little affair.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
He wrote that my parents were right about me being
too sensitive. He knows how low of a blow this is,
since he has been supporting me through my issues with
my parents, invalidating all of my gripes my whole life
with you are too sensitive. I told him how low
that was and that he does not get to quantify
my pain, and he totally lost his marbles, to the
(26:02):
point where I had to stop reading his messages because
I was afraid I would start to cry. In the office.
This morning, our daughter runs to me crying happy tears
and jumping of joy. Our father had center pictures of
the newly born little sister. I congratulated the new official
older sister when we gushed over the pictures a little.
Throughout the day, my mood has just been awful. I've
(26:24):
gotten messages for my family asking how I am, because daughter,
of course told everyone, which is totally okay, but it's
starting to weigh on me. I have been tired and
easily irritated. All of a sudden, I felt like I
had no one to talk to, no one who had
really understand someone unbiased and adult to talk to. Those
(26:45):
have been my hardest moments in all of this, because
because I lost my best friend when we fell apart.
Whenever I feel like I really need to open up
and spin my heart, it reminds me of how alone
I feel.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
All stop, just let just let Opie live. You need
to get this divorce and get custody of your kid
and leave this man.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
She just feels so lonely. Is this a normal reaction?
I've been fine and very emotionally cut off from him
for so long, and somehow the birth of his baby
send me into sudden nose doc today.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Of course that's normal. You found out this, like, you know,
really big news that your ex partner just had a
baby with the person that he cheated on you with.
That's that, of course, is going to bring back old feelings.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
Regardless of how of cour as well. Don't forget that.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Gaes sighting you and it's still like harassing you and stuff.
Of course, that's going to bring up feelings.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
I guarantee you. What happened with op is like all
the emotions firally subsided and like she's like, okay, I'm okay,
I'm doing great with for my own and doing great
by myself. And then the baby made all those emotions
come up again, and it's rins in real.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
You find out new information and it frickin hurts.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Yeah, I feel like I needed to sell all of
this in my lowest point in a long while. So
thank you for reading. If I fell at linking my
previous post here, please look into my profile. They're my
only post. Thank you. We got another update ooh nine
months later.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Oh baby, Hey, it's sam' your og host here reading
it back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads
from our sponsor.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Hello redditors, been a while since I've posted. Honestly, at
this point, I feel that the title no longer fits
as I have realized my error, but I will keep
for Clarity's sake. First of all, to everyone who offered
help and advice or just reached out to give virtual hug,
thank you so much. I remember the last time I posted,
I was feeling a sudden setback due to my daughter's
little sister being born. My girl has been so happy
(28:42):
over her and loves her dearly. I really hope the
sister gets to keep a relationship with her no matter
what happens with their dad. Most of my personal life
is going great. I finally managers just save enough to
buy us an apartment and have been busy renovating it.
My work life is great. I really love my job
and I got a promotion which really helped on the
(29:04):
house hunt. And for my siblings and friends, they have
truly saved me and my mental health during this journey.
I'm very happy where I am in life and have
no real drive to find a partner. All right, that's great, dude.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
And that's you know, when you're happy and you're not,
you know, in a bad place, then you can you
know love will come, but you don't have to focus
on that right now. Just focus on yourself now.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Sometimes I do feel that maybe a bit too jaded
and harsh when it comes to love. I don't like that,
but I guess it too will heal over time. All
this hurts my ax as I gets here. After he hears
from these things from our daughter, he wrote to me
that it feels like he was just dragging me back,
and his absence has now allowed me to thrive. My
(29:50):
ex husband is not doing well, of course, all I
hear of him is what he tells me and what
my daughter tells me. In passing, we had to make
a new child support agreement as the one we made
originally at a fixed period, and that hearing I got
to hear a lot about his current state of affairs.
And I have to say, the new woman of the
(30:11):
house is not playing around. Oh. She has made him
pay all the utilities and groceries and all miscellaneous household fixes,
whilst she just pays her home loan. I was impressed.
He did complain during the hearing that he barely has
money for going to therapy as it is, and when
it turned out that the child support had been miscalculated
last time Stay paid for him, he went to total
(30:34):
despair over the amounts. Oh. He started messing me right
after the hearing and applied he no longer has money
for therapy and that I should know that he is
the only breadrunner in the house and that he will
not be able to have her daughter over so much
now since she eats like a horse and he can't
afford it. I reminded him that she eats on the
other twenty eight days of the month too, and not
(30:56):
just two weekend she spends with him. This summer. He
agreed to have over for a few weeks during his
holiday because I agreed he wouldn't have to pay child
support for that month. The situation is sad and it's
not getting better. Oh that sucks. That's on him though. Yeah,
what is his mental health crisis that he's going through.
I don't understand people go through hard times.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Well, I think that, honestly. I think in part he is.
I'm sure he may be going through mental health crisis,
but he is blaming every action that he makes on
this mental health crisis, which you can't do. You have
you have to take a certain amount of responsibility for
your actions.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I really do. I think it's the time I have
to take this off.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
You're hot to take it off. Take it off? He's
taking it off.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Oh not the not the ripped whole shirt, dude.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
I love this. That's his favorite shirt.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
Someone stitches. We need Angie to stitch it up a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
I love my shirt.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
I got holes in my shirt holes.
Speaker 5 (31:54):
Oh show me your holes.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
I love it so much. It's my favorite shirt. I
got it for two bucks, dude.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
This is like Linus Linus blanket, Charlie Brown.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Wait Rightley, let me see that other hole of your Oh.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
Okay, keep reading.
Speaker 5 (32:07):
No, let me see your right hole. Why because it's
really big.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
It is really big.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
Okay, keep reading.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Well, we'll figure it out. This is the last straw
for me. The last straw for me came a few
weeks ago, when she was spending time at his place.
He had already picked a fight a few days prior,
but I had refused to engage, so he stormed out,
meaning he left my message unread for three days. The
silent treatment I used to get when we were still
together was exactly like this too. He clearly had been
(32:34):
building up steam during those days, and then all of
a sudden blew up my phone with text messages after
message telling me how bad I was at this, meaning
arguing I assumed, and twisting everything I had said into
a version that made me look like a total a hole.
I once again refused to engage and told him that
(32:54):
this no longer concerns me and that he should find
someone else to argue with. That angered him so that
he swapped tactic and told me that he had shown
her daughter these messages to prove that I am not
so nice, I pretend to be. That he got me
from zero to furious in an instant, though not for
the reasons he implied. I told him that this was
(33:16):
hands down the most selfish thing he could have done,
and that this is his daughter he is damaging with
this behavior. Shit, why are you weaponizing her? I told
him I'm absolutely dumb with him, and I will not
be in contact with him anymore apart from issues directly
related to our daughter and her matters. When he totally
swapped personality, it felt like and started with these really whiny,
(33:40):
self pitning why are you being so mean to me?
Messages that then talked with I still love you and
weird bs ew, this is horrible. I was no longer answering,
so the last message he sent was to say that
he in fact had not shown her any of my
(34:00):
messages and that my sanctity was intact. I went to
pick up my daughter the next day as I really
felt uneasy and really needed to personally be there and
maybe I could get her to talk to me during
the car ride if he had been talking his truths again,
And as he took up his stop and had some
ice cream, she quietly asked me to please don't take
(34:21):
me away from dad. He's manipulating everyone goodness gracious.
Speaker 5 (34:28):
And he's never being accountable for it is. You can't
keep getting away with this poorable sound like a Pokemon?
Speaker 3 (34:37):
What is that? Uh? Toad? That's toad, that's.
Speaker 5 (34:41):
The butterfree was pretty good.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
My heart absolutely broke. I asked her why she would
think that, and she revealed to me that my ex
husband had told her about our custody disagreements in the
form of mommy wants full custody.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
Of course he freaking dead. Of course he freaking dead.
And he's like, I don't want to leave you, but
mommy wants full custody, So I probably won't be able
to see you anymore because mommy doesn't want me to.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Dude, if you were playing the same game as him,
you would make him look like the absolute worst person
on this way.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
You're a good person and you're trying to make sure
that he has a good relationship with his daughter.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
You'd be like, oh, yeah, as your dad try to
feed you, hay yet because he says you eat like
a horse. He thinks you're a horse playing that game.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
But you can't do that.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
I explained to her that even if I had full custody,
it would not take visitation if it was deemed to
be good for her. She said she wanted her dad
to be there for her school graduation, and I said
her father has all the rights in the world to
be at the school of him, and all she needed
to do was to make sure she invited him. And
I know this will now work in my favor and
(35:50):
not his. I have invited him to her birthday parties too,
and he never comes. I haven't told her this now.
I made sure that she knows I'm not a against
any of this, and by making sure she invites him,
he can now make excuses directly to her. Part of
me hates having to be in this war at all,
but I feel like he leaves me no choice. A
(36:14):
few days later, she asked me why I'm so mean
to Daddy. I asked her, why does she think that?
She revealed that Dad shown her some of my messages.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
Dude, So yes.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
His last message to me was once again alive.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
You need to get custody of your kid because this
is insane, This is wild, This is insane that he
is doing this.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Like, why are we playing these games. Why aren't we
doing this to her?
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Stop using your child.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Now, as many of you have been warning me this
parental alienation and downright mental abuse on her. I called
the local CPS to ask for advice on how to
proceed and if I should file a complaint on him
and what would follow. My daughter has already been seeing
the school counselor, and as she has now started in
a new school, I will be seeking the same help
(37:00):
from there too, for them to evaluate and refer her
to therapy. I was told by the CPS worker that
this will be documented and that I should weigh now
on the possible consequence. They are totally for me finally
an official complaint, but as we have shared custody, what
will follow is a session for both parties individually for
(37:22):
discussion and then evaluation on the severity of the situation.
The CPS worker said that two things can happen. One
he takes it to heart because someone else brings it up.
Or two he gets mad and makes our already strain
communication even worse and possibly retaliates knowing him. It's the latter.
They also told me that if I get more evidence
(37:44):
on him manipulating our daughter than I should just file anyway.
Like I have mentioned before, all of our communication is
in rioting, and I have saved all of it. So
I'm currently torn between trying to figure out what kind
of damage my poor daughter will have of being cut
from her father and little sister, or the trauma of
being mentally manipulated against another parent and being used as
(38:07):
ammunition in a war that is not her, making I.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Feel like that's much that's worse than being taken away
from the dad. Yeah, is hard being used. Yeah, she
needs to be out of that situation. I think it's
always better to have to be out of a situation
with a manipulated person and then stay in it because
you don't want to like hurt your kid's feelings in
the short term exactly exactly.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Oh, that's that's so tough. But then the short term
questions are where's daddy? Why can't you let me see daddy?
You are mean to daddy, and those things are going
to come in because he's warm, tongue's worm tongued, whichever
it will be. I know she will blame me, and
that probably is just my punishment too. I failed to
protect her, and those who say I should not protect
(38:54):
my ex and just tell her everything. It's not him.
I've been trying to protect.
Speaker 4 (38:59):
Her, yeah, but for her. But yeah, you're trying to
not like use her, which is what he's doing. You're
trying not to stoop to his level, which is hard
to do when you see him at crap talking you.
But it is the right decision.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
She should not be in this situation, but I admit,
due to his actions here we are anyway. He mocked
me for being so naive that I really thought amical
co parenting was stuff that people can do well. I
sure as crap can't do it alone, and children are
very perceptive. She knows her father got another woman pregnant,
(39:33):
as she puts it, but she is also being fed
this weird narrative by her dad while I clocked out
of that marriage years ago and was just pretending to
be All he needed was a hug. But I turned
my back on him and abandoned him like I abandoned
my parents because I just couldn't get over it, like
everyone else in this planet could. Whoa all his words
(39:54):
from his rent messages And she does talk to me still,
so I can verify he does us really tell these
things to her and we will tell you more stories
just like this. If you go to your favorite freaking
podcast platform, search up Okay story Time and we have
a plethora of stories just like these. Take this one sovia.
What are your final thoughts before we get to the
update here?
Speaker 4 (40:14):
Ah, this is so frustrating because again, Nope, he's trying
to be the best parent that she can in a
very very tough situation. Linda says it's hard to say
her dad is lying without calling him a liar. Yeah.
I really just wonder if there's any way that you
can get lawyers in on this, because you need someone
(40:35):
else to mediate this. It's getting it's getting out of hand.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
You can talk to me through my lawyer. A lot
of people do that, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
I think maybe that's it. It's like, if you can't,
if you can't be court like, you know, cordial and
you know, talk to our daughter in a respectful way
about me, then we need to get a lawyer involved.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
I have to. Here's the rest of the story. So
here we are the good, the bad, and the backcrap insane.
All I can hope is that I can make the
right decision from my daughter and that she could grow
to be healthy and a happy adult. If that requires
her to come to me one day and ask for
me to justify the things I did and say, then
I'm happy to have the conversation with her. Thank you
(41:13):
everyone for your messages, support and criticisms. And that is
the end of the story.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
That's the end of the story. Wow, what a tough,
tough situation.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
That is a very tough situation. Parents protect your children,
and this parent is.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
Yeah, she's doing her best, and it's just getting very
hard because you're working with someone who is actively trying
to sabotage you at every turn. Aleana Bain says CPS
is the way to go. The guardian ad litem needs
to desire the safe place for the kid. It might
be neither of them agreed, it's true.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Agreed.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
Yeah, And every day Loser says you need to desperately
get supervised visitations only for the dad.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Yes, guys, we're gonna read another story. I'm gonna read
these donos. I'm gonna let you read that one. That's
a big word.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're
gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a
quick three minutes of ads more.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
Sponsors obligatory tip for endometriosis awareness. Thank you uh and
miss Ray, thank you for the twenty bucks. This last
two weeks has been hard. I really don't want to
move to PNW Pacific Northwest. This has been my home
since I migrated. I hate goodbyes and I love my
job and friends. I'm glad I'm able to catch up today. Riley,
don't cut your hair. It's cute.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Thank you, mistery, and hopefully you can work out a
situation where you don't have to do that.
Speaker 4 (42:24):
My twin sister tried to force a double wedding and
almost got me arrested.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
My cousins tried to do this once.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
What's no joke. Is this your story?
Speaker 3 (42:33):
This is not my story, but my cousins try to
do this once.
Speaker 5 (42:35):
Are your cousins twins?
Speaker 3 (42:36):
They are, and they marry twins.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
I'm a twenty two year old. That's insane.
Speaker 5 (42:40):
That's insane.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
I'm a twenty two year old female. Here is my story.
I got engaged four years ago. Yeah that might sound crazy,
but I was. When I got engaged, I was still
in college and planned on finishing before getting married. By
the way, this comes from radiant anywhere fifty three to
fifty four on the Arslash Shokey storytime Separate It. So
my fiance, at twenty five year old male, decided to
(43:03):
wait until I graduated, which happened this year, and we
immediately started wedding planning. My graduation was in March and
my wedding was supposed to be in July. I was
happy to be. I was so happy to be married
to the love of my life. But this is where
everything went wrong. I have a twin sister and she
got engaged last year twenty twenty three, and she and
her fiance were not planning to get married anytime soon
(43:26):
until I announced my wedding date. I and my sister
are not close at all. Even though we were twins,
we shared everything from clothes to a house to even
at one point boys oh huh. But we grew apart
because she was angry when I got engaged without her anyway.
We just stopped talking until last year when my mom
told her about her engage, told me about her engagement,
(43:47):
and we went out to celebrate it. We did not
even speak to each other. I told my family about
my wedding date at a family dinner at my parents'
house and everyone was excited except my sister. But I
didn't let anything ruin my night. So preparations for my
wedding started, and I already found the perfect dress, the
perfect venue, and my invitations were already out. All that
(44:09):
was left was for that day to come. Little did
I know my sister had other plans. Oh, three weeks
before my wedding day, I get a call from my
wedding planner saying, my sister is asking what my dress
looks like and what my fiance suit looks like. I
was like, uh, why is she asking? I thought maybe
she needed ideas for her own wedding, but boy was
(44:32):
I wrong. Two weeks before my wedding, my sister's fiance
texts me and says how happy he is for me
to agree to a double wedding and how he's excited
to make memories with me and my fiance. I was like,
I don't even know about it and I never agreed
to it, but he kept saying. My sister said, so.
I called my mom and she knew, but felt like
it was the right thing to do because we were
(44:53):
twins and we should do everything together.
Speaker 5 (44:56):
This is so weird.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
That's weird. This is so wed, it's weird. I called
my sister, but she didn't answer, so I drove to
her house and confronted her about it. She just said,
we're twins and we should do everything together and it'll
be a new memory for me and her. She told
me I should stop being a bee for not wanting it.
You're not invited the wedding anymore. You're gone, mind you.
(45:18):
I paid for everything, I mean everything, and all she
paid for was her wedding dress. I told my fiance
and he said, to me, do whatever you want. I'll
support you. So I told my dad and he told
me the exact same thing. I moved my wedding to December,
but didn't inform my mom and sister. I informed all
my vendors and my guests, My fiance, and I decided
(45:38):
to take a trip to Spain, and I turned my
phone off so no one could reach me. When I returned,
my mom and sister were furious. They called me selfish
and said I'm an a hole for doing that without
informing them, and they will not be intending my wedding.
Am I the a hole? And there is an update?
Oh no, you're not gonna be attending my wedding.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
No, I feel like the just set this up so
they can have a reason not to. It's in your wedding.
Speaker 4 (46:03):
They chose the craziest thing. Yeah, why would we want
you at the wedding.
Speaker 5 (46:08):
I don't know that I would anyone want them. Twin
seems like she wants to do everything together.
Speaker 4 (46:13):
She's weird. She's weird.
Speaker 5 (46:14):
Literally, Oh, she wants to have babies together. It sounds
like too, like she would get to that point, not
with you, not with the twin, but like Yoike's man,
let's coordinate with have babies together.
Speaker 4 (46:22):
But there is an update. Hi everyone. First of all,
I want to thank you guys for the support and ideas.
I have an update. My wedding was three days ago.
I am currently in Thailand for my honeymoon. But let's
dive into the update. You guys were right. My sister
tried to crash my wedding. Of course she frigging did.
Of course she did. She probably showed up in the
wedding dress, try to walk down the aisle, and not
just that, she almost got me arrested on my wedding day.
(46:46):
So the weeks leading up to my wedding were silent
from both my sister and my mom, so I thought
nothing would happen, But I was wrong again. My fiance
and I planned a small get together the night before
our wedding with just our bridal party. Everything seemed fine
in the beginning. We made reservations at a restaurant. We
got to the restaurant and found out we were already there.
(47:07):
How is that possible if we just got there. The
manager was called and he told us we already checked
in for our reservation. He swore he saw me evil twin,
and my fiance was like, there was no way he
saw me. We continue to argue with my manager with
the manager, and as we were our friends started to
show up. We explained the situation to them and they
(47:27):
too were shook. At this point, it has not hit
me yet that there is only one person who also
has my face. Security was called and we were let
out of the restaurant. We were in the parking lot
when it hit me that my sister was the only
one who could do this. But my friend said I
should leave it and we could still make the best
of the night, and we did.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Dude, if you're evil and you have a twin and
you get up to no good.
Speaker 4 (47:50):
There's so much you could There's so much damage you
could do.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
Oh my gosh, it's so scary. It is very scary.
You could ban someone, yeah, from everything.
Speaker 4 (47:58):
Yeah, you could just go to every store and you're like,
I mean you also have to be okay with getting
banned as well.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
You could go to their workplace get admired.
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Absolutely, everything was smooth. Oh, this is the wedding day.
Everything was smooth going until it was time for me
to walk down the aisle. When I saw my sister
wearing the same dress as me, and hair and even makeup.
You could not tell us apart even if you knew
us for years. Security checkarity. There's gonna be a moment
where they're at the wedding and they're like, no, I'm
(48:28):
the real lope and the husband's like, oh no, how
do I choose?
Speaker 3 (48:33):
It's weird, you know, it's really weird.
Speaker 4 (48:35):
I immediately asked her what she was doing, and she
looked me in the eye and said I was an
impostor and she was the real me. I called it.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
I'm freaking called it.
Speaker 5 (48:46):
ID bring your birth certificate right security.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
It didn't I thought that I was joking. I was joking.
I was so confused that I lost words. When my
husband noticed I was not coming down the aisle, he
walked to the entrance and could not tell us part
at first glance. How did we nail this story? Why
didn't even approve this story? How did I nail this one?
Speaker 3 (49:06):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (49:07):
My god. My sister started shouting, which drew the attention
of my family and guests. Because it was getting too much.
Someone had called the police. When they arrived. They were
also confused about who was who. My sister kept yelling,
saying I wanted to ruin her day and I couldn't
be happy for the police had asked us if we
had anything that could prove I was me, and she
was lying. This is insane, This is insane. Luckily, my
(49:27):
best friend, also my maid of honor, had my phone
and my idea with her. I showed the police and
they were about to arrest my sister when she said
I would have exchanged the ID and our phones. The
police decided to cuff both of us. This can't be
real and take us down to the station for more questioning.
When my now husband said that his wife has a tattoo,
shell bouces. Please tell me, oh, he has a tattoo.
(49:49):
This is not this can't be real that we both
got I forgot about that. When my sister heard that,
you could visibly see fear in her eyes. Note we
got this tattoo last year and is hidden and it's
hidden from the eyes of other because of where the
tattoo is located. A female officer had to follow me
to the washroom to see if it matched with my
husband's tattoo. After it was confirmed, my sister was taken away.
(50:12):
What this is on her wedding day? My wedding commenced?
What after a long mental break from what had just happened?
What do you mean you your wedding kept.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
Going after this this big day.
Speaker 4 (50:25):
We gotta keep it going. I guess we're gonna get
But now I am happily married to the love of
my life. I love when you guys listen to full
episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Apple podcast,
Spotify or your favorite podcast st app and search a
Pokes story time. This was crazy, dude?
Speaker 3 (50:43):
Why did we read this one first?
Speaker 4 (50:45):
This was crazy?
Speaker 2 (50:46):
What?
Speaker 4 (50:47):
This was crazy?
Speaker 3 (50:48):
Holy cow?
Speaker 4 (50:50):
I don't know if I buy it, but if it's true.
It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
We have to buy it.
Speaker 4 (50:53):
It's gonna have to buy it because it's so good.
Speaker 3 (50:55):
It's a good story.
Speaker 5 (50:55):
It's so good that it sounds too good to it's
but you know.
Speaker 4 (50:59):
What, I'm taking it because this was the best story
of the day.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
If we think about it, there are eight billion people
in this freaking world. This had to happen once.
Speaker 4 (51:07):
Someone's got to have this base, you know, like the
movies have to base it off something. Yeah, this definitely
happened context. Yes, I did put security and the main
entrance of the venue. Don't know how she passed them. Yes,
I did change my venue from the last one my
mom was in it on to two. She helped my
sister get the same dress. And yes, my sister and
my mum were the ones that checked in at the restaurant.
And no, my sister's not in jail. I did not
(51:28):
press charges against her. She is still my sister. But
I do plan on getting a restraining order on her.
Good my bridal party, my and my husband's friends. So
I don't know how my sister will know about that
restaurant observation. I know this might be crazy and it
might sound like it only happens on TV. But I
too was shocked that anyone could think of us. And
that is the end of that insane story. Oh crazy, crazy, Wow,
(51:54):
you have an insane sister. I mean, you got a
crazy sister. What would have happened if they got married? Yeah,
Like what happens if Opie gets taken away? Is she was?
She just planning on, like like starting a new life
with OPI's husband.
Speaker 5 (52:09):
The husband, the husband will be like something's off, something's
a little when you put on like somebody else's shoes.
But also but I feel like twins don't have the
same voice.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
Whatever. My grandfather on my dad's side died. He wasn't
really close to me, so he was okay. My dad
found out that he had a half sister, and that
half sister had six kids, five girls, one boy, well
one you know, I think back in twenty twenty two,
they have twins and then they have another one. So
(52:41):
one twin got engaged and then one of the sisters
that has been with her boyfriend for like, I think
five years at this point, she was kind of like, ah,
why are you not getting married? Me and the twins
were only like together for like a year, and a
half two years. So then that sister then got engaged
because the boyfriend was like, well I got engaged right now,
(53:01):
And then the other twin engaged. Mind you that the
twins are dating twins. The twins then are now marrying twins.
Speaker 4 (53:08):
Dang.
Speaker 3 (53:08):
So one twin had was getting the wedding together, you know,
had a location, everything was good, everything was looking great.
And this one Sally, and Sarah seemed like she wanted
to do a double wedding because she didn't want to
pay double. She didn't want to do everything she I
thought the concept was cool, but she kind of seemed
(53:29):
like she was pigging backing off of Sally. Sally kind
of seemed chill with it. I don't really know what
was happening behind the scenes, but they ended up doing
separate weddings. And like even the twins brothers weren't even
the best men in each other's weddings because they had
to save money. Apparently they didn't want to pay for
like suits or something insane. Yeah, but the twins were
(53:50):
like made of honors at each other. Yeah, so it
was wild. And then they recently both had kids and
and those are.
Speaker 4 (53:57):
Like those are dicipling. I think those are like siblings.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
Yeah, you want to see him genetically? Yeah, I barely.
Speaker 5 (54:03):
Talk to really. Oh wow, that's you're right.
Speaker 4 (54:06):
Because they're twins.
Speaker 3 (54:09):
Yeah, I don't know which ones which and I don't
know their names. And I feel like a bad cousin
because as soon as I left for l A, they
start having kids. And I'm like, so much happens in
the
Speaker 4 (54:18):
Year, but dang, that's the end of that story.
This is Cowboy Sam, and this is ye how John,
And we've last owed in some amazing stories for y'all
the Okay Storytime podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little
two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks
to help this show stay alive.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
So Sam, it's dumping week, which means we are taking
out the trash emotionally speaking, that.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Is yeah, John, we have stories this week that will
make you stay fair well to with those toxic relationships
that you may or may not have or maybe had
the past. You're gonna say goodbye to those and hello
the red Flag free living.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Oh yeah, and if you knew here looking for the
first story in the series titled my husband cheated but
he has cancer?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Should I stay?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Just click the link in our show notes last description,
or just search Dumping Week, Okay story Time wherever you
get your podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Now let's get into today's story.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I divorced my husband during his mental health crisis. What
I mean best time Right August seventeenth, twenty twenty three.
Me thirty eight female and my husband, thirty eight mal married,
have been married since two thousand and nine, and we
have a preteen daughter. Last three years have been really
tough on us because of my husband's bad working conditions
(01:11):
that started to affect his mental health. I noticed signs
of burnout and depression and brought up these concerns to
him regularly. He's very dismissive and refused to see his
situation and refuse therapy. By the way, this comes from
thought willing and if you want to smit your old stories,
go to our size. Okay story temes up ad. So
we started becoming distant and often isolated himself and was
(01:33):
regularly butting heads with our daughter. Eventually told me that
he had met a woman at work. Their relationship was not,
according to him, physical, but he was in love with
her and felt that she was his soulmate and best friend.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Oh dude, dude, come on.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
My working theory of why nurses sheat a lot. My
working theory is because they go through so much craziness
day to day that it's like a bond. It's like
a trauma bond.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Today. Yeah, I mean you're seeing those people every day,
like literally for hours on end. You're probably sleep deprived.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Mm hmm, sleep deprived and the only person that will
make you feel better is someone that might make you
laugh for giggle, and then you're like, I'm in love
and you're gonna make them cheap.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
That's not your excuse. You need to figure that out, man,
I'm just throwing that out there, conspiracy theory. He said
he was very sorry that he could not decide which
woman he would ultimately be happiest with.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I don't like that dud someone.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
If someone told me that they were like, I don't
know who to choose, they'd be like, not me. I'm
gonna make that choice easy on you.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
If you there, you go. There's just like saying that
if you fall in love with two women, you should
go with the second woman, because if you truly love
the first woman, you would be in this situation exactly.
He spoke out about this at home whilst I was
having the toughest time in my life. I cried alone
over my dreams and plans, everything we had together. He
also told me that in order to clear his head,
(03:01):
he would need to leave the house and spend some
time on his own. That coworker had offered him her
spare bedroom and he was gonna take it. I knew
exactly where he was going with this, dude.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Come on, come on, you're you're not trying to work
out anything.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I asked for his help organizing the rest of the
school year as I was commuting, and I promised him
that as soon as the school year was over, I
would look for an apartment closer to my work, and
me and our daughter will move out and he can
have the house to himself for his healing. I found
an apartment almost immediately and we moved. He visited us
(03:36):
one week in a month, and brought his chaos with
him every time. The new home had become a safe
haven that we cherished, and he took it over as
soon as he appeared, and it felt like I wasn't
breathing until he finally left. After six months of living
like this, I decided I had given things enough time
to mend, and they had not. I was still hurt
(03:58):
and bitter, and he was still cagey about what was
going on and what his ultimate decision really was. I
told him I was done living like this and I
wanted a divorce.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Nikes, nice, don't be the other woman. No, he already
told you that you are not a priority for him.
He already told you that he's going to live with
this woman, that he was emotionally cheating on you with.
He's done, he's done.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Out of here. He absolutely lost his crap and left
and drove back to our old house in the middle
of the night just to get away from me. A
week later, he told me the coworker is pregnant and
he was angry that I didn't want to even try
and fix our marriage. Sophia, how long does it How
long does it take for a woman to find out
that she is pregnant.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
It's around like a six eight.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Weeks six eight weeks, okay, so yeah, sometimes you can
find her earlier, but like that doesn't make that doesn't
make sense, Like you're mad at her, really, like three.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
Weeks maybe six eight weeks is when you tell the people.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Chat when when is that?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
But like two to three weeks.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Basically you did something three weeks earlier and there's proof
of that, and you're mad that your wife didn't What
if she did want to fix your marriage and then
all of a sudden boom, oh, by the way, she's pregnant.
Co workers pregnant, that's what. Yeah, So like like you're
the other one, you're like the wife and you're like, yeah,
I'm gonna fix it out and boom cok, Like that
(05:23):
may just make any sense?
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Now, your actions also have to line up with your words.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yeah. Since then, he has gone increasingly more hostile and
accusatory in his communication with me.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Of course he is.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
He blames me for breaking up the marriage and abandoning
him during his crisis.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Dude, he's the one who literally chose another person.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
He says he was not himself and has no idea
why he did the things he did, but that I
was the one who left. He claims I was no
help when he needed me, and that I clearly mentally
abandoned our relationship long before, more than three years prior.
He tells me, I'm cold and calculating and clearly not
the person he thought I was.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
That's insane to have the audacity to tell your partner
that you emotionally cheated on, that they're not the person
that you thought they were, because they're leaving you for
emotionally cheating on them.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
You know what, this this career, just like working here
has maybe become I want to become a speaker or
men's mental whatever, like so they can fix their health
because like divorces are like fifty six percent. Like I
feel like men need to like figure out what's going
on in their head before they get into a relationship.
Us this doesn't happen, yes, And dude, like I'm even
(06:41):
scared to even like figure out what it is now
a days with the Internet and all the all the
in cels and all this stuff.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Like, ah, yeah, men don't. Men don't do any interior
work before they get into a relationship.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
It's true, it's true.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
And then they're like, I wonder why it's not working out.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
It's not me.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
It couldn't possibly be me.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
It's not me, And I haven't talked about any of
my problems, so it's.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Not to me. I never told them about any of
my emotions.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I will say I have some really solid friends here
in LA and it does take courage to talk about
your emotions. But every time something happens, they come to
me and they're like, yo, what's up. And I, you know,
I'm vulnerable, and I tell them what's up and they listen,
and like, yeah, they'll give me some insight, but they'll listen.
And I think that's the biggest thing. And thank you
Keon thank you, Dakota, thank you, Sam, thank you John,
thank you Christian and Maly You're always there. I'm talking
(07:27):
about my sorry, but also Sophia, my rock solid galfriend
through all this and feel I honestly the key for
me to have a healthy relationship with women is to
get to the insight on like the woman mind and
like you know, you're always helping me. I do think
like having a girl best friend does help out with
situations like that.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Yeah, no, they know howthy females work.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah, he's my best guy friend.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
And do you listen to him?
Speaker 4 (07:51):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
It is sometimes.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Do you listen to us when we give you advice? Sofia, Wow,
how he figured out how the turntables?
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Hey, I'm listening. I'm listening now.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
Okay, I'll hold you to that one, sister.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
If I make different mistakes in the future, don't worry about.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
We're gonna go Nana Nana boo boo. That you smell
like stinky doodoo.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Don't worry about that.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I understand that he is not well. He finally did
go to therapy. Yes, I explained a lot of his
action with that in mind at first, So I am
in a hole. He claims I have a come taking
his daughter away and leaving. We got some relevant comments.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
You're literally not the a hole. I don't understand he's
gaslighting you. He's gaslighting you. Yeah, he betrayed you.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Okay, I think big Basin, that's a good comment here.
You took your daughter and yourself from an unstable living
situation exactly. Maybe it had become stable tomorrow, but you
gave it a lot of time. His mental health crisis
may mean he's out of his mind, but either he's
still responsible for his actions or he's not. If he is,
(08:57):
you left him because of his actions seems recent. If
he's not responsible for his actions, then you left him
because he's deeply in crisis for an extended period and
you can't continue to live that way, or have your
daughter lived that way. I'm curious and concerned about your
daughter's experience of this. Those are the people my heart
goes out to the most, your daughter and your husband's
(09:18):
new child. Because everyone else ahle or not with some
form of volunteer for this. The kids get no choice
but all the consequences. But I don't think leaving your
husband while he's in crisis is unacceptable, especially giving the
long duration and terrible experience for you of that crisis,
not the ahole ope response. Honestly, it's our daughter I'm
(09:39):
mostly worried about in this situation. He's clearly has changed
a lot, no matter how much his mental health plays
into it. Everything we use to be so much of
one mind has changed for him. He will not keep
his opinions to himself when our daughter visits him, and honestly,
I'm left to pick up the pieces when she comes
(10:00):
and slowly opens up to what her father has been
talking during his visit. I'm really trying my best not
to ever speak ill of him in front of her,
and I basically keep my family in the dark because
I don't want them to have an attitude towards him
that could reflect on her. He seems to have no
such issues, as I'm slowly finding out. He choos me
(10:21):
up in private conversations, which I can deal with, but
he also says stuff like after your mother punted me out,
I can't help you anymore, and all I want is
to have our family back to our daughter, and I
feel like that's horribly unfair.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
He's trying to manipulate your daughter into thinking that it's
also your fault. He's using your daughter against you.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Oh my gosh, dude, he's really wallowing in his misery
right now. And I still have sympathy for him, but
he is burdening his daughter and painting me as an
absolute villain. He still hasn't told her about the new baby,
and honestly, I'm a little loss at what to do
with all this.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
I think dang, someone said, Frank the Bug says, daughter
needs therapy big time. Oh, big time, because I mean,
even though op, he's not doing anything, but this daughter
is caught in between two parents who are fighting messily
and involving this daughter even though he's not. I mean
(11:22):
it's not like the dad is doing it. Oh he's
not doing it, but like it's still this daughter is
becoming the there is in between like a tugg o
war right now.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Yeah, it's really.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Frank the Bug says, this is the AMMO for a divorce.
She needs to gather everything she can.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Yeah, get the receipts going, get them lined up, ducks
in a row.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Just know, like, you are not the problem here. He is,
and it doesn't I think it does explain some of
his actions if he was in a mental health crisis.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
You don't know.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Anyone your time or your your presence if they're actively hurting,
regardless of whether or not they're in an emotional You
know mental health crisis facts.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
True. We'll got an update to do it four days later. Hello,
and I have been reading all the comments on the
original posts and try to answer as many of the
questions as I could. The original post can be found
through my user page. I want to write an update
since my post seem to raise some questions, and also
thank you for your engagement on the post. It's mean
a lot to me. The divorce is in process, hey,
(12:26):
and I have not seen him in person for some
four months. At this point. He mostly keeps radio silent
until it seems he has to unload some hurt on me.
I've kept my contact to him at a minimum, only
ever messaging him in things regarding our daughter or requesting
him to react to official paperwork or to his electric
(12:47):
bills that I have transferred to him due to the
circumstances in which we started this separation. Originally, I paid
most of his living expenses, mainly since I have a
steady job and get paid double his set. This girl
is paying for him, what does he offer nothing. He's
still very much incapacitated by his mental health issues, and
(13:07):
I wanted to alleviate some of the practical matters for him.
Now that we are pulling everything apart. He has been,
maybe personally, making this into a very slow and frustrating process.
I still pay for his electricity, and he reimburses those
bills for me at the end of each month. Sometimes
(13:27):
he needs encouraging. Usually this leads to him messaging me
all day, usually complains on how I'm now raising our
daughter and now that I've made him obsolete his words,
telling me to get a new dad to help me
with the job as soon as possible. He seems to
try very hard to push my buttons by saying things
(13:48):
like it must be very hard for you to send
your daughter to someone you loathe and hate so much.
And if I make the mistake of losing my temper
even for one curse word, he will turn immediately and
tell me to calm down, stop spitting acid, and maybe
we should continue our discussion when I'm not so wound up.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
He's gas sighting you. He's gaslighting you so hard, yikes.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
I have mainly chosen not to engage in these conversations
if when they start going off the rails. I have
all of his outbursts in writing. I am also currently
under the impression that the coworker is not interested in
a relationship with him anymore. All of those who ask, yes,
the baby is his by his own word, he still
(14:33):
has not told our daughter about any of it. I
have chosen to give him an ultimatum on the matter.
I will bring it up one more time when we
have our official meeting with our child wherefore of officer
next month. That's the official route where we live. And
if he still refuses, I will take it to myself
and tell our daughter the truth. I remember when my
(14:54):
cousin found out her parents were divorce. I remember when
she found out she had like a half brother. She
was kind of like shocking. I didn't even understand it. Yeah,
I was like I don't know eleven. Yeah, I was
like what half brother? Like half of you? Is he
missing aside? And then I kind of figured it out
and I was like, oh, well, oh, uncle Shane bro
(15:16):
that guy that that guy's read a story, dude one time.
This is so messed up. I'm sorry. She'll never watched this.
I was like driving by one of my buddies parents workplace.
I'm like, oh, yeah, that's where my buddy's mom works.
She's like, oh yeah, behind, that's the hotel where I
caught my husband cheating on me.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
And I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, I feel so bad.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
It was the rest of the like five minutes were
just kind of like, why would you reing it out?
It must have I don't know, it must have like
got got to where we dude. That was so funny.
I remember my grandma. She was there the moment my
aunt caught her husband cheating. Because the way that they
figured it out was, I think like whenever you dialed numbers,
(15:59):
it shows up on TV like who's calling you? And
she found out that he was calling from a different
area code rather than his cell phone, and she was like,
he's like, no, baby, I'm not cheating on you while
he was at the other guy's house. Crazy. Sorry. So
I don't mean to put out family drama, but I
(16:19):
know they'll never watch this. They never bring it up.
But Thanksgiving, Riley, they never do. They never bring up
Oh I remember that one time you said this on.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
And you know you have to do it at your wedding,
and the code is gonna be, like I told you.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
So, something bad's gonna happen. A code is gonna be
in the exact of the wedding.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
He told me so. He told me so.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
He's gonna be like, you should have had it with
just her, You should have had a second wedding. You
should have had a sacred wedding. Riley, that's what he's
gonna do.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
Yeah, he's gonna come up here right now. It's like
secret wedding, secret wedding.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
So many of you have encouraged me to do this
for her sake and for the sake of our relationship,
and I thank you for sharing your experiences with me.
I have also contacted her school therapist and the curator
and for them of the issue she is facing and
the ones distilled to come. That's so smart. I wish
they did that for the other kid because her grades
were failing and she was acting out. I'm hoping they
(17:13):
will offer her some scheduled help since I know she
is so shy and telling me everything. She is the
most important thing in my life and I am as
sorry as I am for her having to go through
this essentially because of my choices. I refuse to take
all the blame now, and I'm ready to shift it
where it belongs. Personally, I'm a much happier person these days.
(17:36):
I feel bursts of gratefulness and true happiness the days
just by watching her eat her dinner and talk to
me about her day at dinner in our clean and
peaceful home. Even my houseplants are thriving. As silly as
it sounds, that's kind of crazy.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
When you got a good environment, the plants like it.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I need more studies on this. I finally, Oh, my goodness,
what okay?
Speaker 5 (18:00):
A family member.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I have certain texts like vibrations of certain family members,
and a family member did just text me It wasn't
about that, that would.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Why are you talking about us?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
It was my brother. He was saying he could visit
the may Maybe that's nice. I have finally opened up
about all of this to some friends and my siblings,
and they have all been super supportive. And my siblings
were clearly shocked, but both did bring up that they
are somehow not surprised it went this way. They seem
to have seen things a bit more clearly from Afar,
(18:32):
just like the community did thank you from the bottom
of my heart. I feel like my daughter and me
are going to be just fine in the end. Some
relevant comments. It is also shocking that when people from
the outside see these things and like, ah, makes sense.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Oh yeah, people like have seen the relationship progress and
they're like, yeah, I kind of saw that coming, and
they're like, oh, everyone saw it but me.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah, that hurts. That hurts.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Cool.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yes, I actually laughed out loud of the part where
he told Ope his affair partner was pregnant, but he
can't believe Op doesn't want to fix the marriage in
the same breath, like, buddy, do you hear yourself?
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Because also he was like, yeah, it was only an
emotional affair, and then we find out that it's literally
a physical affair and he's having a child with this person.
He was like, but you don't want to fix the marriage?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Ope, Honestly, at this point had already made up my mind,
And when I sat there and listened to his rants,
I got the feeling that so much more was to come.
When he finally told me about the pregnancy, I newly
laughed out loud myself. It was so absurd that it
felt like the whole drama had been turned into a facade, farse, farce,
(19:43):
like people would never believe me if I told them
the whole story. And with that reaction, I realized that
I was really mentally in a better place, one foot
out the door and not ever going back. This was
not my crap show to deal with anymore. At Punt
thirty one eighty six says, stop paying the electric bill,
(20:04):
stop being a sympathetic or empathetic with him, Do not engage.
You need to do this for yourself. You owe that
to yourself, OPI. My friends have also told me to
just drop the electricity contract from my plan and give
it to him to figure out. Logically, I know it
takes one call for him to make a new contract.
(20:24):
He gives me excuses I know are false. But since
I know how passive his mental health issues have made him,
and how insurmountable insurmountable small things can become, I find
it so difficult to do this and go back on
my word. There is also the fear how making our
current bad relationship even worse will neverly reflect on our
(20:49):
daughter and getting through all the legalities, legalities and getting
through all the legalities, I can't wait until this is
all done and dusted. Update two to three months later.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Yeah, I mean it's tricky because you're trying to get divorced,
and also your husband is actively trying to manipulate your daughter,
which will make custody agreement really difficult. Later on, Yeah,
I think doctor a lawyer. Oh, absolutely get custody of
this kid as fast as you possibly can. Three months later, Hello,
redd it, it's been months since my original post and update.
(21:23):
People were very nice to me and offered me some
really good advice and a lot of emotional support and criticism.
I took a lot of it to heart. I finally
separated the rest of our finances, stopped paying his bills,
and made official agreements on child support in custody, which
remained shared for now as he went back on his
word to give it to me. I'm contested he did
(21:46):
not agree to sign an official visitation agreement because he
cannot commit to it right now. God can can't commit
to seeing his child.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
He can commit to cheating.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah, he can't commit to anything right now.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
He can commit to make a new baby.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
I offered him every other weekend and a half of
all holidays. He has started to meet our daughter more often,
though since nowadays she actually visits him on her own
free will. It seems like their relationship has gotten a
bit better lately, which I'm of course happy about, as.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Long as he's not freaking saying bad things about you.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Oh yeah, he better not be better not be. He has
been absolutely terrible towards me, though. He started a campaign
of passive aggressive texting after I asked him to be civil.
Now every message is overly syrupy and filled with overflowing apologies.
I ignore this until he decided to talk to me
face to face. When he went to sign the agreements,
(22:41):
he told me his therapist told him to talk to
me for closure and speak his mind, so he did.
He once again just explained to me how hard the
last year has been, and how I tore the marriage apart,
how he was not ready to accept this divorce and
never will be, how nothing in his current life is
what he wanted or asked for, and considers it an insult.
(23:03):
If I congratulated him over the upcoming baby, et cetera.
This felt really off, considering he just had moved in
with his affair partner. He originally tried to hide this
too and was evasive, but of course our daughter found
out the next time she visited him, and he also
told me, I know it is pointless, but I feel
(23:27):
I needed to say something, so I told him that
he completely continues to ignore all my pain in your
mental work. I had to do over this whole thing,
and I can't help the fact that my love passed
away in the process. He says, I didn't even.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Try this man, the audacity of this man. All you
had to do was try and keep it in your pants,
but you couldn't couldn't do that, and now you're blaming
your wife.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
It's my wife's fault that I'm jeeves.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Fault that I couldn't be faithful.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
He even said my parents were more supportive of him
because they had exchanged pleasure trees, having met briefly a
few weeks prior. His coworkers were more supportive than me.
I told him to look in the mirror and that
his little passive aggressive game was so obvious. Clearly hit
home because he stopped immediately after. He has been snooping
(24:17):
over my dating life through our daughter and is very
jealous say so and gets very verbally aggressive over it.
Speaker 4 (24:24):
How hypocritical. He's like, I know I cheated on you
physically and had a baby with someone else, but you
can't have your own love life.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
Yeah, he's just taking l's left and right. He's such
a loser, el l. It's an l seven WEENI Now.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
The thing that brought me back to you here tonight
is that despite my life having turned so much better
than the last few months, and me and my daughter
have been happier in a long while, I fell into
an unexpected hole today. He was supposed to have her
over this weekend but ended up canceling. The reason he
gave me was different than what he had gave her daughter,
so I knew he'd lied to someone. Yesterday, he blew
(25:02):
up on me over texts that originally started as a
discussion over our daughter's visits. He stated the same old
song of me being so petty over such a minor
thing as his affair that was apparently not even a
real affair at first.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
It wasn't even a real affair at first, like I
only am physically cheated with her like later.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
This guy's delusional, bro man is crazy.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
He's like it was just an affair. It's like, no biggie.
He's like, you did the worst thing. You left me.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
You gave up on me.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
He gave up on this after I had a little affair.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
He wrote that my parents were right about me being
too sensitive. He knows how low of a blow this is,
since he has been supporting me through my issues with
my parents, invalidating all of my gripes my whole life
with you are too sensitive. I told him how low
that was and that he does not get to quantify
my pain, and he totally lost his marbles, to the
(26:02):
point where I had to stop reading his messages because
I was afraid I would start to cry. In the office.
This morning, our daughter runs to me crying happy tears
and jumping of joy. Our father had center pictures of
the newly born little sister. I congratulated the new official
older sister when we gushed over the pictures a little.
Throughout the day, my mood has just been awful. I've
(26:24):
gotten messages for my family asking how I am, because daughter,
of course told everyone, which is totally okay, but it's
starting to weigh on me. I have been tired and
easily irritated. All of a sudden, I felt like I
had no one to talk to, no one who had
really understand someone unbiased and adult to talk to. Those
(26:45):
have been my hardest moments in all of this, because
because I lost my best friend when we fell apart.
Whenever I feel like I really need to open up
and spin my heart, it reminds me of how alone
I feel.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
All stop, just let just let Opie live. You need
to get this divorce and get custody of your kid
and leave this man.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
She just feels so lonely. Is this a normal reaction?
I've been fine and very emotionally cut off from him
for so long, and somehow the birth of his baby
send me into sudden nose doc today.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Of course that's normal. You found out this, like, you know,
really big news that your ex partner just had a
baby with the person that he cheated on you with.
That's that, of course, is going to bring back old feelings.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
Regardless of how of cour as well. Don't forget that.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Gaes sighting you and it's still like harassing you and stuff.
Of course, that's going to bring up feelings.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
I guarantee you. What happened with op is like all
the emotions firally subsided and like she's like, okay, I'm okay,
I'm doing great with for my own and doing great
by myself. And then the baby made all those emotions
come up again, and it's rins in real.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
You find out new information and it frickin hurts.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Yeah, I feel like I needed to sell all of
this in my lowest point in a long while. So
thank you for reading. If I fell at linking my
previous post here, please look into my profile. They're my
only post. Thank you. We got another update ooh nine
months later.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Oh baby, Hey, it's sam' your og host here reading
it back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads
from our sponsor.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Hello redditors, been a while since I've posted. Honestly, at
this point, I feel that the title no longer fits
as I have realized my error, but I will keep
for Clarity's sake. First of all, to everyone who offered
help and advice or just reached out to give virtual hug,
thank you so much. I remember the last time I posted,
I was feeling a sudden setback due to my daughter's
little sister being born. My girl has been so happy
(28:42):
over her and loves her dearly. I really hope the
sister gets to keep a relationship with her no matter
what happens with their dad. Most of my personal life
is going great. I finally managers just save enough to
buy us an apartment and have been busy renovating it.
My work life is great. I really love my job
and I got a promotion which really helped on the
(29:04):
house hunt. And for my siblings and friends, they have
truly saved me and my mental health during this journey.
I'm very happy where I am in life and have
no real drive to find a partner. All right, that's great, dude.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
And that's you know, when you're happy and you're not,
you know, in a bad place, then you can you
know love will come, but you don't have to focus
on that right now. Just focus on yourself now.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Sometimes I do feel that maybe a bit too jaded
and harsh when it comes to love. I don't like that,
but I guess it too will heal over time. All
this hurts my ax as I gets here. After he hears
from these things from our daughter, he wrote to me
that it feels like he was just dragging me back,
and his absence has now allowed me to thrive. My
(29:50):
ex husband is not doing well, of course, all I
hear of him is what he tells me and what
my daughter tells me. In passing, we had to make
a new child support agreement as the one we made
originally at a fixed period, and that hearing I got
to hear a lot about his current state of affairs.
And I have to say, the new woman of the
(30:11):
house is not playing around. Oh. She has made him
pay all the utilities and groceries and all miscellaneous household fixes,
whilst she just pays her home loan. I was impressed.
He did complain during the hearing that he barely has
money for going to therapy as it is, and when
it turned out that the child support had been miscalculated
last time Stay paid for him, he went to total
(30:34):
despair over the amounts. Oh. He started messing me right
after the hearing and applied he no longer has money
for therapy and that I should know that he is
the only breadrunner in the house and that he will
not be able to have her daughter over so much
now since she eats like a horse and he can't
afford it. I reminded him that she eats on the
other twenty eight days of the month too, and not
(30:56):
just two weekend she spends with him. This summer. He
agreed to have over for a few weeks during his
holiday because I agreed he wouldn't have to pay child
support for that month. The situation is sad and it's
not getting better. Oh that sucks. That's on him though. Yeah,
what is his mental health crisis that he's going through.
I don't understand people go through hard times.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Well, I think that, honestly. I think in part he is.
I'm sure he may be going through mental health crisis,
but he is blaming every action that he makes on
this mental health crisis, which you can't do. You have
you have to take a certain amount of responsibility for
your actions.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I really do. I think it's the time I have
to take this off.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
You're hot to take it off. Take it off? He's
taking it off.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Oh not the not the ripped whole shirt, dude.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
I love this. That's his favorite shirt.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
Someone stitches. We need Angie to stitch it up a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
I love my shirt.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
I got holes in my shirt holes.
Speaker 5 (31:54):
Oh show me your holes.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
I love it so much. It's my favorite shirt. I
got it for two bucks, dude.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
This is like Linus Linus blanket, Charlie Brown.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Wait Rightley, let me see that other hole of your Oh.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
Okay, keep reading.
Speaker 5 (32:07):
No, let me see your right hole. Why because it's
really big.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
It is really big.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
Okay, keep reading.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Well, we'll figure it out. This is the last straw
for me. The last straw for me came a few
weeks ago, when she was spending time at his place.
He had already picked a fight a few days prior,
but I had refused to engage, so he stormed out,
meaning he left my message unread for three days. The
silent treatment I used to get when we were still
together was exactly like this too. He clearly had been
(32:34):
building up steam during those days, and then all of
a sudden blew up my phone with text messages after
message telling me how bad I was at this, meaning
arguing I assumed, and twisting everything I had said into
a version that made me look like a total a hole.
I once again refused to engage and told him that
(32:54):
this no longer concerns me and that he should find
someone else to argue with. That angered him so that
he swapped tactic and told me that he had shown
her daughter these messages to prove that I am not
so nice, I pretend to be. That he got me
from zero to furious in an instant, though not for
the reasons he implied. I told him that this was
(33:16):
hands down the most selfish thing he could have done,
and that this is his daughter he is damaging with
this behavior. Shit, why are you weaponizing her? I told
him I'm absolutely dumb with him, and I will not
be in contact with him anymore apart from issues directly
related to our daughter and her matters. When he totally
swapped personality, it felt like and started with these really whiny,
(33:40):
self pitning why are you being so mean to me?
Messages that then talked with I still love you and
weird bs ew, this is horrible. I was no longer answering,
so the last message he sent was to say that
he in fact had not shown her any of my
(34:00):
messages and that my sanctity was intact. I went to
pick up my daughter the next day as I really
felt uneasy and really needed to personally be there and
maybe I could get her to talk to me during
the car ride if he had been talking his truths again,
And as he took up his stop and had some
ice cream, she quietly asked me to please don't take
(34:21):
me away from dad. He's manipulating everyone goodness gracious.
Speaker 5 (34:28):
And he's never being accountable for it is. You can't
keep getting away with this poorable sound like a Pokemon?
Speaker 3 (34:37):
What is that? Uh? Toad? That's toad, that's.
Speaker 5 (34:41):
The butterfree was pretty good.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
My heart absolutely broke. I asked her why she would
think that, and she revealed to me that my ex
husband had told her about our custody disagreements in the
form of mommy wants full custody.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
Of course he freaking dead. Of course he freaking dead.
And he's like, I don't want to leave you, but
mommy wants full custody, So I probably won't be able
to see you anymore because mommy doesn't want me to.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Dude, if you were playing the same game as him,
you would make him look like the absolute worst person
on this way.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
You're a good person and you're trying to make sure
that he has a good relationship with his daughter.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
You'd be like, oh, yeah, as your dad try to
feed you, hay yet because he says you eat like
a horse. He thinks you're a horse playing that game.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
But you can't do that.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
I explained to her that even if I had full custody,
it would not take visitation if it was deemed to
be good for her. She said she wanted her dad
to be there for her school graduation, and I said
her father has all the rights in the world to
be at the school of him, and all she needed
to do was to make sure she invited him. And
I know this will now work in my favor and
(35:50):
not his. I have invited him to her birthday parties too,
and he never comes. I haven't told her this now.
I made sure that she knows I'm not a against
any of this, and by making sure she invites him,
he can now make excuses directly to her. Part of
me hates having to be in this war at all,
but I feel like he leaves me no choice. A
(36:14):
few days later, she asked me why I'm so mean
to Daddy. I asked her, why does she think that?
She revealed that Dad shown her some of my messages.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
Dude, So yes.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
His last message to me was once again alive.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
You need to get custody of your kid because this
is insane, This is wild, This is insane that he
is doing this.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Like, why are we playing these games. Why aren't we
doing this to her?
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Stop using your child.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Now, as many of you have been warning me this
parental alienation and downright mental abuse on her. I called
the local CPS to ask for advice on how to
proceed and if I should file a complaint on him
and what would follow. My daughter has already been seeing
the school counselor, and as she has now started in
a new school, I will be seeking the same help
(37:00):
from there too, for them to evaluate and refer her
to therapy. I was told by the CPS worker that
this will be documented and that I should weigh now
on the possible consequence. They are totally for me finally
an official complaint, but as we have shared custody, what
will follow is a session for both parties individually for
(37:22):
discussion and then evaluation on the severity of the situation.
The CPS worker said that two things can happen. One
he takes it to heart because someone else brings it up.
Or two he gets mad and makes our already strain
communication even worse and possibly retaliates knowing him. It's the latter.
They also told me that if I get more evidence
(37:44):
on him manipulating our daughter than I should just file anyway.
Like I have mentioned before, all of our communication is
in rioting, and I have saved all of it. So
I'm currently torn between trying to figure out what kind
of damage my poor daughter will have of being cut
from her father and little sister, or the trauma of
being mentally manipulated against another parent and being used as
(38:07):
ammunition in a war that is not her, making I.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Feel like that's much that's worse than being taken away
from the dad. Yeah, is hard being used. Yeah, she
needs to be out of that situation. I think it's
always better to have to be out of a situation
with a manipulated person and then stay in it because
you don't want to like hurt your kid's feelings in
the short term exactly exactly.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Oh, that's that's so tough. But then the short term
questions are where's daddy? Why can't you let me see daddy?
You are mean to daddy, and those things are going
to come in because he's warm, tongue's worm tongued, whichever
it will be. I know she will blame me, and
that probably is just my punishment too. I failed to
protect her, and those who say I should not protect
(38:54):
my ex and just tell her everything. It's not him.
I've been trying to protect.
Speaker 4 (38:59):
Her, yeah, but for her. But yeah, you're trying to
not like use her, which is what he's doing. You're
trying not to stoop to his level, which is hard
to do when you see him at crap talking you.
But it is the right decision.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
She should not be in this situation, but I admit,
due to his actions here we are anyway. He mocked
me for being so naive that I really thought amical
co parenting was stuff that people can do well. I
sure as crap can't do it alone, and children are
very perceptive. She knows her father got another woman pregnant,
(39:33):
as she puts it, but she is also being fed
this weird narrative by her dad while I clocked out
of that marriage years ago and was just pretending to
be All he needed was a hug. But I turned
my back on him and abandoned him like I abandoned
my parents because I just couldn't get over it, like
everyone else in this planet could. Whoa all his words
(39:54):
from his rent messages And she does talk to me still,
so I can verify he does us really tell these
things to her and we will tell you more stories
just like this. If you go to your favorite freaking
podcast platform, search up Okay story Time and we have
a plethora of stories just like these. Take this one sovia.
What are your final thoughts before we get to the
update here?
Speaker 4 (40:14):
Ah, this is so frustrating because again, Nope, he's trying
to be the best parent that she can in a
very very tough situation. Linda says it's hard to say
her dad is lying without calling him a liar. Yeah.
I really just wonder if there's any way that you
can get lawyers in on this, because you need someone
(40:35):
else to mediate this. It's getting it's getting out of hand.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
You can talk to me through my lawyer. A lot
of people do that, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
I think maybe that's it. It's like, if you can't,
if you can't be court like, you know, cordial and
you know, talk to our daughter in a respectful way
about me, then we need to get a lawyer involved.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
I have to. Here's the rest of the story. So
here we are the good, the bad, and the backcrap insane.
All I can hope is that I can make the
right decision from my daughter and that she could grow
to be healthy and a happy adult. If that requires
her to come to me one day and ask for
me to justify the things I did and say, then
I'm happy to have the conversation with her. Thank you
(41:13):
everyone for your messages, support and criticisms. And that is
the end of the story.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
That's the end of the story. Wow, what a tough,
tough situation.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
That is a very tough situation. Parents protect your children,
and this parent is.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
Yeah, she's doing her best, and it's just getting very
hard because you're working with someone who is actively trying
to sabotage you at every turn. Aleana Bain says CPS
is the way to go. The guardian ad litem needs
to desire the safe place for the kid. It might
be neither of them agreed, it's true.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Agreed.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
Yeah, And every day Loser says you need to desperately
get supervised visitations only for the dad.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Yes, guys, we're gonna read another story. I'm gonna read
these donos. I'm gonna let you read that one. That's
a big word.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're
gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a
quick three minutes of ads more.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
Sponsors obligatory tip for endometriosis awareness. Thank you uh and
miss Ray, thank you for the twenty bucks. This last
two weeks has been hard. I really don't want to
move to PNW Pacific Northwest. This has been my home
since I migrated. I hate goodbyes and I love my
job and friends. I'm glad I'm able to catch up today. Riley,
don't cut your hair. It's cute.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Thank you, mistery, and hopefully you can work out a
situation where you don't have to do that.
Speaker 4 (42:24):
My twin sister tried to force a double wedding and
almost got me arrested.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
My cousins tried to do this once.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
What's no joke. Is this your story?
Speaker 3 (42:33):
This is not my story, but my cousins try to
do this once.
Speaker 5 (42:35):
Are your cousins twins?
Speaker 3 (42:36):
They are, and they marry twins.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
I'm a twenty two year old. That's insane.
Speaker 5 (42:40):
That's insane.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
I'm a twenty two year old female. Here is my story.
I got engaged four years ago. Yeah that might sound crazy,
but I was. When I got engaged, I was still
in college and planned on finishing before getting married. By
the way, this comes from radiant anywhere fifty three to
fifty four on the Arslash Shokey storytime Separate It. So
my fiance, at twenty five year old male, decided to
(43:03):
wait until I graduated, which happened this year, and we
immediately started wedding planning. My graduation was in March and
my wedding was supposed to be in July. I was
happy to be. I was so happy to be married
to the love of my life. But this is where
everything went wrong. I have a twin sister and she
got engaged last year twenty twenty three, and she and
her fiance were not planning to get married anytime soon
(43:26):
until I announced my wedding date. I and my sister
are not close at all. Even though we were twins,
we shared everything from clothes to a house to even
at one point boys oh huh. But we grew apart
because she was angry when I got engaged without her anyway.
We just stopped talking until last year when my mom
told her about her engage, told me about her engagement,
(43:47):
and we went out to celebrate it. We did not
even speak to each other. I told my family about
my wedding date at a family dinner at my parents'
house and everyone was excited except my sister. But I
didn't let anything ruin my night. So preparations for my
wedding started, and I already found the perfect dress, the
perfect venue, and my invitations were already out. All that
(44:09):
was left was for that day to come. Little did
I know my sister had other plans. Oh, three weeks
before my wedding day, I get a call from my
wedding planner saying, my sister is asking what my dress
looks like and what my fiance suit looks like. I
was like, uh, why is she asking? I thought maybe
she needed ideas for her own wedding, but boy was
(44:32):
I wrong. Two weeks before my wedding, my sister's fiance
texts me and says how happy he is for me
to agree to a double wedding and how he's excited
to make memories with me and my fiance. I was like,
I don't even know about it and I never agreed
to it, but he kept saying. My sister said, so.
I called my mom and she knew, but felt like
it was the right thing to do because we were
(44:53):
twins and we should do everything together.
Speaker 5 (44:56):
This is so weird.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
That's weird. This is so wed, it's weird. I called
my sister, but she didn't answer, so I drove to
her house and confronted her about it. She just said,
we're twins and we should do everything together and it'll
be a new memory for me and her. She told
me I should stop being a bee for not wanting it.
You're not invited the wedding anymore. You're gone, mind you.
(45:18):
I paid for everything, I mean everything, and all she
paid for was her wedding dress. I told my fiance
and he said, to me, do whatever you want. I'll
support you. So I told my dad and he told
me the exact same thing. I moved my wedding to December,
but didn't inform my mom and sister. I informed all
my vendors and my guests, My fiance, and I decided
(45:38):
to take a trip to Spain, and I turned my
phone off so no one could reach me. When I returned,
my mom and sister were furious. They called me selfish
and said I'm an a hole for doing that without
informing them, and they will not be intending my wedding.
Am I the a hole? And there is an update?
Oh no, you're not gonna be attending my wedding.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
No, I feel like the just set this up so
they can have a reason not to. It's in your wedding.
Speaker 4 (46:03):
They chose the craziest thing. Yeah, why would we want
you at the wedding.
Speaker 5 (46:08):
I don't know that I would anyone want them. Twin
seems like she wants to do everything together.
Speaker 4 (46:13):
She's weird. She's weird.
Speaker 5 (46:14):
Literally, Oh, she wants to have babies together. It sounds
like too, like she would get to that point, not
with you, not with the twin, but like Yoike's man,
let's coordinate with have babies together.
Speaker 4 (46:22):
But there is an update. Hi everyone. First of all,
I want to thank you guys for the support and ideas.
I have an update. My wedding was three days ago.
I am currently in Thailand for my honeymoon. But let's
dive into the update. You guys were right. My sister
tried to crash my wedding. Of course she frigging did.
Of course she did. She probably showed up in the
wedding dress, try to walk down the aisle, and not
just that, she almost got me arrested on my wedding day.
(46:46):
So the weeks leading up to my wedding were silent
from both my sister and my mom, so I thought
nothing would happen, But I was wrong again. My fiance
and I planned a small get together the night before
our wedding with just our bridal party. Everything seemed fine
in the beginning. We made reservations at a restaurant. We
got to the restaurant and found out we were already there.
(47:07):
How is that possible if we just got there. The
manager was called and he told us we already checked
in for our reservation. He swore he saw me evil twin,
and my fiance was like, there was no way he
saw me. We continue to argue with my manager with
the manager, and as we were our friends started to
show up. We explained the situation to them and they
(47:27):
too were shook. At this point, it has not hit
me yet that there is only one person who also
has my face. Security was called and we were let
out of the restaurant. We were in the parking lot
when it hit me that my sister was the only
one who could do this. But my friend said I
should leave it and we could still make the best
of the night, and we did.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Dude, if you're evil and you have a twin and
you get up to no good.
Speaker 4 (47:50):
There's so much you could There's so much damage you
could do.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
Oh my gosh, it's so scary. It is very scary.
You could ban someone, yeah, from everything.
Speaker 4 (47:58):
Yeah, you could just go to every store and you're like,
I mean you also have to be okay with getting
banned as well.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
You could go to their workplace get admired.
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Absolutely, everything was smooth. Oh, this is the wedding day.
Everything was smooth going until it was time for me
to walk down the aisle. When I saw my sister
wearing the same dress as me, and hair and even makeup.
You could not tell us apart even if you knew
us for years. Security checkarity. There's gonna be a moment
where they're at the wedding and they're like, no, I'm
(48:28):
the real lope and the husband's like, oh no, how
do I choose?
Speaker 3 (48:33):
It's weird, you know, it's really weird.
Speaker 4 (48:35):
I immediately asked her what she was doing, and she
looked me in the eye and said I was an
impostor and she was the real me. I called it.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
I'm freaking called it.
Speaker 5 (48:46):
ID bring your birth certificate right security.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
It didn't I thought that I was joking. I was joking.
I was so confused that I lost words. When my
husband noticed I was not coming down the aisle, he
walked to the entrance and could not tell us part
at first glance. How did we nail this story? Why
didn't even approve this story? How did I nail this one?
Speaker 3 (49:06):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (49:07):
My god. My sister started shouting, which drew the attention
of my family and guests. Because it was getting too much.
Someone had called the police. When they arrived. They were
also confused about who was who. My sister kept yelling,
saying I wanted to ruin her day and I couldn't
be happy for the police had asked us if we
had anything that could prove I was me, and she
was lying. This is insane, This is insane. Luckily, my
(49:27):
best friend, also my maid of honor, had my phone
and my idea with her. I showed the police and
they were about to arrest my sister when she said
I would have exchanged the ID and our phones. The
police decided to cuff both of us. This can't be
real and take us down to the station for more questioning.
When my now husband said that his wife has a tattoo,
shell bouces. Please tell me, oh, he has a tattoo.
(49:49):
This is not this can't be real that we both
got I forgot about that. When my sister heard that,
you could visibly see fear in her eyes. Note we
got this tattoo last year and is hidden and it's
hidden from the eyes of other because of where the
tattoo is located. A female officer had to follow me
to the washroom to see if it matched with my
husband's tattoo. After it was confirmed, my sister was taken away.
(50:12):
What this is on her wedding day? My wedding commenced?
What after a long mental break from what had just happened?
What do you mean you your wedding kept.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
Going after this this big day.
Speaker 4 (50:25):
We gotta keep it going. I guess we're gonna get
But now I am happily married to the love of
my life. I love when you guys listen to full
episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Apple podcast,
Spotify or your favorite podcast st app and search a
Pokes story time. This was crazy, dude?
Speaker 3 (50:43):
Why did we read this one first?
Speaker 4 (50:45):
This was crazy?
Speaker 2 (50:46):
What?
Speaker 4 (50:47):
This was crazy?
Speaker 3 (50:48):
Holy cow?
Speaker 4 (50:50):
I don't know if I buy it, but if it's true.
It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
We have to buy it.
Speaker 4 (50:53):
It's gonna have to buy it because it's so good.
Speaker 3 (50:55):
It's a good story.
Speaker 5 (50:55):
It's so good that it sounds too good to it's
but you know.
Speaker 4 (50:59):
What, I'm taking it because this was the best story
of the day.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
If we think about it, there are eight billion people
in this freaking world. This had to happen once.
Speaker 4 (51:07):
Someone's got to have this base, you know, like the
movies have to base it off something. Yeah, this definitely
happened context. Yes, I did put security and the main
entrance of the venue. Don't know how she passed them. Yes,
I did change my venue from the last one my
mom was in it on to two. She helped my
sister get the same dress. And yes, my sister and
my mum were the ones that checked in at the restaurant.
And no, my sister's not in jail. I did not
(51:28):
press charges against her. She is still my sister. But
I do plan on getting a restraining order on her.
Good my bridal party, my and my husband's friends. So
I don't know how my sister will know about that
restaurant observation. I know this might be crazy and it
might sound like it only happens on TV. But I
too was shocked that anyone could think of us. And
that is the end of that insane story. Oh crazy, crazy, Wow,
(51:54):
you have an insane sister. I mean, you got a
crazy sister. What would have happened if they got married? Yeah,
Like what happens if Opie gets taken away? Is she was?
She just planning on, like like starting a new life
with OPI's husband.
Speaker 5 (52:09):
The husband, the husband will be like something's off, something's
a little when you put on like somebody else's shoes.
But also but I feel like twins don't have the
same voice.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
Whatever. My grandfather on my dad's side died. He wasn't
really close to me, so he was okay. My dad
found out that he had a half sister, and that
half sister had six kids, five girls, one boy, well
one you know, I think back in twenty twenty two,
they have twins and then they have another one. So
(52:41):
one twin got engaged and then one of the sisters
that has been with her boyfriend for like, I think
five years at this point, she was kind of like, ah,
why are you not getting married? Me and the twins
were only like together for like a year, and a
half two years. So then that sister then got engaged
because the boyfriend was like, well I got engaged right now,
(53:01):
And then the other twin engaged. Mind you that the
twins are dating twins. The twins then are now marrying twins.
Speaker 4 (53:08):
Dang.
Speaker 3 (53:08):
So one twin had was getting the wedding together, you know,
had a location, everything was good, everything was looking great.
And this one Sally, and Sarah seemed like she wanted
to do a double wedding because she didn't want to
pay double. She didn't want to do everything she I
thought the concept was cool, but she kind of seemed
(53:29):
like she was pigging backing off of Sally. Sally kind
of seemed chill with it. I don't really know what
was happening behind the scenes, but they ended up doing
separate weddings. And like even the twins brothers weren't even
the best men in each other's weddings because they had
to save money. Apparently they didn't want to pay for
like suits or something insane. Yeah, but the twins were
(53:50):
like made of honors at each other. Yeah, so it
was wild. And then they recently both had kids and
and those are.
Speaker 4 (53:57):
Like those are dicipling. I think those are like siblings.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
Yeah, you want to see him genetically? Yeah, I barely.
Speaker 5 (54:03):
Talk to really. Oh wow, that's you're right.
Speaker 4 (54:06):
Because they're twins.
Speaker 3 (54:09):
Yeah, I don't know which ones which and I don't
know their names. And I feel like a bad cousin
because as soon as I left for l A, they
start having kids. And I'm like, so much happens in
the
Speaker 4 (54:18):
Year, but dang, that's the end of that story.
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