I don’t want an AFFAIR child but my family is pressuring me! | Reddit Stories | EP2256 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og Storytime
podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories coming up.
But before that, we got a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like
a little house. Oh yeah, I don't want an affair child,
but my family is pressuring me. Oh boy, sure your
warning mention of substances and assault. So I, twenty seven mail,

(00:23):
was in a very high stress situation because of my
family and business problems four months and I failed to
deal with it in a healthy way. My fault. I
was a substance user during my college days. When I
asked my girlfriend twenty four female for a date, she
said I would have said yes if you weren't an addict. Nope,
I said, give me a chance. I will leave everything.

(00:43):
We started going on dates and in six months time,
I was no longer a regular user. Boom. My whole
relationship was built on this promise. Oh god, I'm waiting
for the other shooted rop. By the way, this comes
from deleted and if you want to sit your own stories,
go to the r slash. Okay, Storytime stubred it. So
whenever my friends would invite me for a party, they
made sure that there were no substances around, but at

(01:04):
a party over a month ago, it turned out there were.
I went alone because my girlfriend was visiting her mother.
As I mentioned earlier, everything going on in my life
had been wearing me down. When I saw the Devil's lettuce,
I thought just trying it once might help me unwine
for at least one night, and like a fool, I
did it after being clean for six years.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
That's rough.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
After that, I didn't stop there. I ended up drinking
too much as well. Later that night, my former friends
with Benefits twenty seven female no approached me in a
way I wasn't expecting, and eventually I made another poor choice.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
That's really sad. Like obviously she did never okay, but
like it's really sad that this person relapsed. Yeah, I
made poor choices because of it. Really sad.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
I'm not offering excuses. I fully admit that it was
my own bad day decisions that put me in the situation.
I just wanted to explain the whole context of what happened,
at least Opie's owning up to it.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
I told my girlfriend everything the next time I saw her,
But when I told her, she told me that she
already knew everything. What I didn't know was that a
fair partner recorded everything. Whoa and sent it to my girlfriend.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Booh oh, you think this was a trap? This was
a trap.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
It's a trap. She did so an attempt to break
up our relationship.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Was she succeeded?

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Do you think Opie would date you after that? How
some days later, girlfriend gave me a chance with some conditions. Wow,
she just likes a project, which were reasonable, and I agreed. Wow, man,
I don't know if I would give this guy another chance.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Everything was going fine. Oh god, come on, dude, come
on please until one day, Oh, my fair partner came
home and dropped a ball on us. She informed us
that she is pregnant with my child.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Dang, she successfully. That was the most successful trap I've ever.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Seen, sang, dude. She was ready one go. Eggs were
on the count, ready to be fertilized.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Dude, this was more successful than she had hopes.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Oh my god, she is. She's the fastest gun in
the West. That that girl don't miss. She is a
target and she's moving into that that little bullet. I
took her to a guynecologist and I found out that yes,
she is indeed pregnant. I just don't know if the
child is mine or not. Honestly, we we we we
shouldn't accept her word for it. Yeah, let's check made

(03:53):
a McDonald says paternity test under it'll get take a
few more weeks to get a prenatal paternity has to
confirm who the father is. A fair partner is telling
me that according to the timeline, I am the father,
but I am not taking any chances. I have told
a fair partner that if the child is mine, I
will pay her the child support and I will make
sure the child has a good life, but I will

(04:15):
give up my parental rights and I will never be
anything to the child and her. I have told her,
even if my girlfriend leaves me, she and the child
will be nothing to me.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
That's I don't like that, that she shouldn't. She should
be nothing to you.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
But your kid, you, I think you made a choice.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Oh, you made a choice, and you you even owned
up to that choice. You're like, I made a mistake
and I own up.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
People aren't going to be good parents, and like it's
better having a non existent parent than a good parent,
but it is still a bad reflection of op.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
But I think that's that decision needs to be like
I'm not going to be a good parent, and not like, oh, well,
my girlfriend doesn't want me to parent this kid that's mine.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah. In her last attempt to get me, she told
my and her parents that she is pregnant. Oh, she
is pulling.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Out any man.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
My parents started guilt tripping me, saying that I will
be abandoning my potential child, which is true, which is true.
When I didn't budge, they started threatening that they will
remove me from their will.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
They started reminding me how it will be a huge loss.
I told them that I am doing very well and
in a decade I will not feel the loss. So
when they saw that I can't be financially blackmailed, they
told the rest of the family, even the extended one
except my grandparents and my brother. Everyone is against me.
I have told everyone again and again that I will
not leave my girlfriend, and that means the child has

(05:39):
to go away from my life. I don't think that's true.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
I don't think that's true.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
You can still be with your girlfriend, Yeah, but you
can be with your girlfriend and co parent with this woman.
But she does sound terrible.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Megan McDonald's I think he needs substance abuse therapy before
getting anywhere near parenting child. I agree with that, agreed,
I absolutely agree, But I think also he just needs
that In general.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
I know the child is innocent, but I can't be
the child's father. Even if my girlfriend leaves me, I
don't think I can be a good father for the
child due to the circumstances of conception. Why can't they
understand I may grow to resent the child. This is
create a rift in my family. I want some outside
perspective on how to mend the rift. Any suggestions, Okay,
so I would love to know from chat, because you know,

(06:20):
none of us are parents. Yeah, so obviously we don't know.
But I know if I knocked a fair maiden up,
that was not that fair of a maiden. So maybe
an unfair maiden, I think I would still feel a
responsibility to raise I think so the child.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
In some way, I get what he's saying, be a
good dad, but it's like, how do you don't even know?
Not even try?

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, but and I don't. I don't think that would
mean I would necessarily be with the unfair maiden in
a relationship but I would work to co parent with
the unfair maiden. But also I want to be a parent.
So that's like I think that a society says, do
not force being a parent.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
I don't think you should be forced to be a parent.
But I think also there's like I mean, I guess
he's responsibilities. There is there is responsibilities, and he is
saying that he'll he would be financially responsible, which is good.
And yeah, some people are saying about like him being
under the influence. That is a great point. It didn't
he did the way he said it. It did sound
like he was like, yeah, I was it was cheating,

(07:24):
like he didn't say it like it was unconsensuble.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, I do think she took advantage of him.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
I do think so.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
I do think. I don't think he views it as
anything more than that. But I think maybe on some
technicalities like yeah, like if I think we could maybe
say that, yes, she did take advantage of him, not
even takenicality. I think she did take advantage of him.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
I believe so, yes, she planned all that.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
He's not interpreting it as as that. I understand that no,
like no one should force to be a parent because
like that could cause damage to a child and it
would be bad for the child. But I do think
if you knock someone up and you have a kid,
I think you are shirking a responsibility by not parenting

(08:09):
that child. And yes, although like like although it's.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
Unless you're unless you're putting the child up for adoption,
there are there are other options. But I think like
when one parent is like, yeah, I'm taking care of
the kid, and you're like, but he is. He is
doing like he is providing financially, so that is good.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
The blind one says, MENO always process that they can
be taken advantage of or violated when they're I think
that's a great point. No, I think that is a
great point. But I also feel like that like the
I though for it that might be technically true. I
don't think he's like carrying the baggage of what that
what that means in this and how he's talking about this. Yeah,

(08:49):
and Nicole h says she was sober enough to set
up a video instead of the girlfriend. Yeah, I think
she might have been sober honestly, which is like more.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Oh, I think it's tricky because I think the one
and like looking at it he is providing for the kid.
Anonymous is the way you're shaming is the equivalent of
a shaming a woman for shaming for giving up a
child for adoption. I wasn't seeing in the way because
I don't think that anyone should be a shame for
putting a child up for adoption when they know they
can't parent for the like parent the child. So I guess,

(09:17):
like that does make sense. That comparison't makes sense.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah, but I do. I mean, like I think it's
I think it giving up a child for adoption is
a really hard It's not it's not an easy task
because you like, you know, this is a Again I've
never been in there, but I think as someone who
wants to be a father, I would find it very
hard to give up my kid for adoption, even though

(09:41):
you know I might not be ready or whatever. Like
I feel it's it's it's it's to say it's not
to say it's not a hard decision, I think is
not true, because there's some level of responsibility that you
are now giving to someone else. At least in America,
the like the foster care system is not that great,
and so when you are giving up a kid for adoption.

(10:05):
There is causing like putting into question whether you can
like find a good person, but you can. There's like
parents that you can find.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Miss Jabery says, don't force people to parent child'sport, yes,
but not forced a parent, yeah, which I think makes sense. Yeah,
I mean I don't think that the mom is going
to be a very good parent either. You'll probably just
blackmail other people to raise you're good for. I think
also there's like kind of a different interpretation of the story,
which I understand because it is unclear. But I think
like a lot of people are interpreting this as like

(10:32):
he was essayed, yeah, which could be true, but he
doesn't see it that way, which is why I think
we were having that kind of disconnect in the beginning.
But I also I think that she did take advantage
of him and he just isn't seeing it that way.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Yeah, but let us know what you think of the comments.
This is obviously a very hot button and an emotional issue.
You know, like like people are going to disagree with this.
Bianca says, I disagree with that as someone who was
taking advantage of while under the influence, right, And I
think this is the thing about a story like this.
There's a lot of gray, right, There's a lot of gray,

(11:09):
and it's very dependent on the.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Person he's in, like he doesn't see it that way.
And it's also a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Under the influence you are too exactly. We don't know
one beer is different than like fifteen yeah, right, So
it's like there's so much gray here, and there's a
lot of people that have experienced like this. So again,
please like this is a chance for discussion. We don't
have all the answers, but we got some more comments
and we got an update coming up to your girlfriend
is seriously staying with you after this, man, I hope

(11:37):
she wakes up and leaves. No good can come from
staying with a cheating regular user, and now a child's
in the mix. What an fing nightmare for her reply.
Notice how everything came back with an apologist backstory where
he took very little responsibility for his own actions, and
now the child is going to suffer for his actions.
I feel sorry for the child to have such a
selfish person as a father. Unfortunately, even if he classifies

(12:01):
himself as only in a moral baby juice donor, he'll
still leave a void in this child's life and cause
further pain for decades to come. If there's one thing
I found out in life, that is that atticts and
liars cannot be counted on. They'll always take the selfish
easy way out for themselves and expensive others. I don't
know that feels a little bit too harsh. Someone can

(12:21):
struggle with addiction and still make it through the other side.
I think so comment to aside from that, I wouldn't
be with anyone willing to not be in their child's life.
It says a lot about a person and there is
an update.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
I think that, like my last thought, I think Gop
needs to sit with this and maybe go to therapy
and see how he feels about this situation. Because if
his reasoning is like I don't want to be in
this kid's life because my girlfriend doesn't want me to
think about that, if it's I don't want to be
in this kid's life because I have very complicated feelings
about how it happened and how I feel like maybe

(12:56):
taking advantage of, then it's like, yeah, don't be in
this kid's life because you feel you felt taken advantage
of this kid was like came out of a traumatic
situation maybe for you and I also I think it's
like where did it come from?

Speaker 1 (13:08):
I also want to be careful for projection onto this
story because he is not saying that he was taking
advantage of tod. He is kind of like saying that,
like you know, like the obviously got taken advantage of
with the the recording and stuff. But he's like he's
not saying like you know this, Yeah, he's not saying that,
So i'd be I'd be careful to speak on behalf

(13:31):
of this guy.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
And thank you all for sharing your thoughts in the chat.
It's a hard topic to talk about and I appreciate
it all right.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
But we got an update. So a couple of hours ago,
someone asked about my situations, so I thought to give
an update and a few responses. First of all, except
for two comments, each and every comment helped me, both
negative and positive ones, So thanks for that. The first
dude that irritated me to you, I want to say, yes,
I read your comment that I don't deserve my girlfriend

(13:58):
and she should leave me. You don't need to reach
me everywhere possible to say this. I read it once.
To the second dude, I'm quoting a line I read
in one Reddit post for you, you only have two
brain cells competing for a third place. You said I
should leave my girlfriend and get in a relationship with
my affair partner because she must have something which my
girlfriend lacks. That's why I cheated, And now the reason

(14:18):
for the update. I am the father, but it is
in the best interest of both me and the child
that I am not involved in the child's life because
of all the comments. I thought about it long and
hard and came to the conclusion that no biological father
is better than a biological father who resents I think
that's true. I think that's true. I will still pay
for the child support. My girlfriend also advised me that

(14:40):
I should also create a college fund for the child.
There's something else I can do. Then you can give
me some advice. During my IC it has been revealed
that I have developed borderline psychopathic tendencies due to my
childhood and my work ethic. To be honest, I always
suspected this. I always had some degree of reduced empathy,
risk taking, an overly high s self regard when it

(15:01):
comes to people who are not my family and girlfriend.
So I hope you can see the dangers here. Now,
let's come to my family. The situation is not right.
I am on low contact with everyone except my grandparents
and brother. It is my sister who has cut me
the deepest though. Two years ago, when she got pregnant,
both she and her husband decided to terminate the child

(15:21):
because they were not emotionally prepared. It was their words.
If my parents got to know about this, all heck
would have broken loose. It was I who kept her secret.
It was I who helped both of them to get
a pregnancy termination as smoothly as possible without anyone knowing. Now,
when I needed her support, she is saying it will
be amazing to have a nephew or niece and she
will be an amazing aunt. She was treating me like this.

(15:44):
Now our relationship will never be the same again, especially.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
After Yeah, helping her, that's really tough. Yeah yeah, and
she's not like seeing that. This is a super complicated situation, bro.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
People, Yeah, now why a fair part? And nor did this?
We were friends since we were thirteen, and we became
friends with benefits since we were sixteen. Somewhere down the line,
she started liking me romantically, but I never saw her
that way. I should have nipped the problem in the
bud back then, but I was too selfish back then.
Then my girlfriend came into my life, and I thought

(16:17):
that it was too long. Her feelings would be long
gone by now, But now has come to bite me
in the back. Why she thought that by doing this
we can be together, I don't know. I think substances
have addled her mind, or she is suffering from some
serious mental problems, or she's obsessed with me. There's another
relevant update, but let's discuss now. Let's come to the
most important person in my life, my girlfriend. Some people

(16:39):
were saying I should set her free and let her
be happy. I'm not holding her captive. Neither am I
forcing her to be with me. She is free to
do what she wants. I even told her if all
this gets too much and she decides to leave me,
I will not hold it against her, and I will
understand why she did so, and there will be no
negative feelings from my side. She chose to stay with me,
she also goes to there. I'm doing everything possible to

(17:01):
make sure she doesn't suffer emotional torture from my family
except my grandparents and brother. A fair partner, A fair
partner's family and a fair partner's friends. Till now, I've
been successful. She also has got close to my grandmother
and her sister. It's good to see that she has
a good support system. Now onto the comments saying that
I was spicly relatedly harmfully. Okay, this is acted right,

(17:23):
So this is what we've been talking about, right, this
is the essay that night when AP made her move.
I remember saying, no, it's not right, but she kept
persisting and eventually I gave in. If it was six
years ago, I could have resisted against AP's advances. Now
I'm thinking, has my tolerance decreased or did I really cheat?
I really don't know. But one thing is sure that

(17:44):
I still betrayed her that night by doing substances any suggestions.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Which I think this is a really important thing because
he was he was assaulted, and.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
I see his individual counseling, and that makes it sound
more I mean he said no like he wasn't.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, that's so I think before it was a little
bit more murky because we didn't know that. I think this, yeah,
I think is a lot is a completely different situation. Yeah,
when you know he was assaulted.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, and he still is owning up to the part
of yeah, I did substances which was against my relation.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
But also he's relapse.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah, but I feel I feel like the uh, knowing
that he was assaulted, she sounds she sounds like she
is an abuser.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Absolutely and she should you know, this is completely not okay.
A lot of people were saying press charges. I think
so I think he probably you know, finds out a
little hard to think about because so many years done
the line, but like, yeah, absolutely press charges. That was assault,
and I think I think it does change a lot
of my feelings on the story of like staying with
a child after assault, because I absolutely believe that women

(18:51):
who are assaulted should not have to bear that the
child of their assault. So I do not think that he,
you know, could have to be But I think when
we originally started story, he made it sound like it
wasn't like it was more consensual, which is yeah, I
had a different thought on that because you know, like
if you have a consensual relationship, I think it is
very This is not about this story, but like in

(19:12):
other examples, we've had people who have sexual spicy sleep
and then the husband or the father is like well,
I don't want to be this kid's parent in dips
and that's you know, not great. But this is a
completely different situation where you have someone who has been
assaulted and probably has a lot of feelings that he
seemingly is repressing because he didn't even see it as

(19:33):
assault and say I don't want to parent that child.
I resent them, And it's like, yeah, you have because child.
You connect them to that salt, So I think that
is like super relevant. Yeah, I agree, super relevant information
that Opie clearly didn't even process.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
That is that was a rough story. We got one more.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
I outed my sisters so my parents won't hate my fiance.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
I don't know how that would work.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
Oh no, I twenty seven male live with my twenty
seven female fiance Annie, and recently my sister Mia came
to live with us. MIA's never actually told me she
was saffic, but I've always kind of knew she was.
By the way, this comes from Throwaway, am I the
a hole here? And if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime, separate

(20:19):
it and sapphic means lesbian okay, so anyways or just
well it's women who like women.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Anyways, my parents asked if Mia could move in with
us because she can't see her friends since they are
high risk. I agreed, and Mia has been living with us.
I've started to notice changes in her behavior around Annie.
Mia has always been shy about her body and at
most will wear me length shorts on a very hot day,
even with family. Now she's basically all length shorts. Huh yeah,

(20:50):
Now she's basically always in sports bras and booty shorts.
It's odd, but I haven't lived with my parents in
six years, so I don't know if she changed her
home habits during this time I was gone. I just
brushed it off as a self esteem boost and was
proud of her. Then she got especially close to Annie.
I assumed it was just admiration, but then it got

(21:10):
super weird.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Uh, oh, is the sister crushing.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
On She was sticking even closer to Annie, and it
was like she was butting in on us when we
were being romantic. But it was like she was trying
to prevent romantic moments from happening. It was cock blocking
by trying to direct Annie somewhere else. He was now
could She would also leave the room or look sad

(21:35):
when we kissed, I got that feeling so weird, that's weird.
I got the feeling she had a crush on Annie.
I confronted her about her feelings and told her that
it was fine if she had a crush, but she
was taking it too far and she denied it. Now
my sister knows. I know she's a sapphok because a
few years ago I sent her one of those if
ex friend was ever more than a friend techs. She

(21:56):
denied that they were more than friends. I told her
that I always will support her and moved on. Things
would stop for a while and then pick up. We
would have this conversation, then the cycle would repeat. Annie
figured out that Mia probably had a crush on her
and was uncomfortable by the entire.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Situation, especially with them living together. It's a little yeah eow.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
A few weeks ago Annie kind of sisters owned Mia,
and things just escalated.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
She escalated after being sisters owned yikes, you're like a
sister to me.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
She openly flirted with Annie to the point where Annie
didn't even want to be at home. Oh gooch guarding
Okay time, we couldn't do anything romantic at home because
she might see and start openly bawling in her room.
Mia was very cold to me and always snapping at
me for small reasons. At this point, I feel like.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
It's like, you kick her out. You got to kick
her out.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Wow, this is inappropriate. I had enough. When she made
breakfast for Annie and her using the food I specifically
bought for myself, and Annie walked out crying. I pulled
her aside and told her that she needs to stop
right now or I will punt her out. She acted
like she didn't know what I was talking about again,
so now I'm definitely punting her out. The only problem

(23:11):
is my parents. I can just punt out my little
sister and not tell them why. If I tell the truth,
my sister will be outed. But if I tell a
half truth, like she made my fiance uncomfortable, they'll hate
my fiance because I can't actually explain what my sister
did to make her uncomfortable without outing her.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Can we just say like, hey, we want to we
want to have our own space.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
She's she's interfering in our relationship. Yeah, what do you
mean you have to out your sister?

Speaker 1 (23:38):
No, you could just say she's Gouc Garden.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Yeah, I think you can say we're trying to have
a relationship as adults and I want to walk around
in our relationship. Yeah, I don't have to do not
out like really never.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
I think there's a way to say this without outing her.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
There's really never any excuse for outing someone. My sister
deserves a chance to come out. And this isn't like
I accidentally outed her. Either is getting herself outed the
consequences of her action or would I be the ale?
You would be the ale. She's the ale for interfering
and making your idan say uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
But it's necessary information for your parents to know.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
I just also don't think it's necessary too.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Yeah, Like you could just say, hey, like, we're trying
to have more intimate moments and my sister's getting the way,
So can I think to make our relationship in marriage
or soon to be marriage work, you can't live with
us anymore? Yeah, I think it's normal.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
That's normal, And if they say what, who cares at it?
I'm just going to clarify why I can't say that
the living arrangement wasn't working out. Like I said in
the beginning, my parents are high risk, so she cannot
see her friends at all. So if it just wasn't
working out, they tell me to suck it up until
the school year starts. And then you say no. You
just say no, You put your foot down, You say

(24:52):
it like we cannot live together. If I didn't, I'd
be the heartless knucklehead who doesn't want to let my
sister have a social life. Then be that, I like, honestly,
just be that. They'll get over it.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
I think they'll get over it.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
I think they'll get over it. Second, I don't think
they'd believe me in the first place, because I've never
had a problem with my sister. They just assume I
was covering for Annie. Then be clear, you say like, hey,
she's been like really rude to me, blah blah blah,
I don't care. Figure it out. You don't have to
out her. No final verdict not the a hole relevant
comments said, you're the ale. If you out me, you can,

(25:26):
in fact punt your sister out without telling your parents.
Why keep it to as simple the living arrangement wasn't
working out, feel free to ask me if she wants
to share why perfect bo TVH. I really want to
know what you mean by openly flirting and bawling if
she saw you being romantic. Because this whole story sounds
inky and it's really weird that you've basically been pestering
your sister for years to tell you she's a sapphoic

(25:49):
Opie says the living arrangement wasn't working out, wouldn't be
an okay answer either? Yes, it would?

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Is it? Is it weird? What to send that tax?
Basically like, hey, is blank more more than a friend?
Is that weird?

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Ah? Not necessarily?

Speaker 1 (26:04):
I mean I'm trying to think because like.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Depends on how many if you like kept pushing it.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
And yeah, I feel like it's a little what I
mean like if it was like a straight relationship, you
would say like, oh, is like is that person more
than a friend?

Speaker 2 (26:15):
It depends on how I said it.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
How I feel like it's normal to be like, is
that person more than a friend? In a straight relationship?

Speaker 2 (26:21):
If you have a close relationship with your sibling, which
it seems like they ever did.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
I mean, they're living together, so they must, so I feel.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Like it would be normal necessarily strange.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
I think it. Yeah, I think you would say the
same thing in a straight relationship. I don't think it's
weird to say it for same sex relationship.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
I've always been okay living with my sisters, so they
would assume it was my fiance who didn't like living
with her. Even if I insist it was me, I'd
still be the heartless knucklehead who prevented his sister from
having a social life. Another user says, you can decline
to continue the conversation if they won't accept your answer.
If your parents are this pushy and unreasonable, it's unlikely
that outing your sister would do much good. Opie says,

(26:58):
I mean then I'd be hated. Any other time I
would have taken that bullet for my sister, But based
on how she was acting, I'm not willing to have
my parents angry at me because of her. You'd be
the I don't care. Honestly, you'd be the a hole
if you did. You see here, Yeah, stop making excuses.
Just tell them that it's not working out. Do the
it's not working out, talk to me if you want
to know why. Yeah, stop stop it. But still you

(27:21):
can just say she cries all the time and we
can't parent her or something. You don't need to take
it as far as you're saying you want to.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Yeah, agreed, agreed.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Well, I feel like op just.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Wants to out her, That's what I'm saying. He's like,
there's no other.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
Way here is. It almost feels like he's like, I
don't want to say I don't think this is necessarily true,
but it's like it almost feels like he's using it
as an excuse to out her.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yeah, it's weird.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
I don't think it's necessarily true. Though.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
There are a million ways to say you can't live
with her without it being I can't live with her
because she's a sapphic that apparently has a crush on
my fiance she doesn't want to own up to. Yeah,
Opie says, believe me. Also, what you could do is
say like she's been really really dude. I mean, I
guess you don't want to bring your fiance into this,
but I think that even if you said she's she's

(28:08):
got I think that she's got this crush on my
fiance and she's been really rude and making my fiancee uncomfortable.
I don't know if they would believe you. I think
they would be like, if you didn't approve of that.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
I think they would do the same thing. So I
feel like it doesn't.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Matter, doesn't accomplish what you're trying to do here exactly.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Just just say something else, Opie says. Believe me, I'm
genuinely thinking of a way not outer and not get
hated by my parents or my fiance hated by my parents.
I don't think you're thinking that hard.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Uh yeah, two brain cells to rub together.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
If I say she cries all the time, they would
assume I'm doing something to her because she doesn't cry
with them. We can't parent is an excuse because she's
twenty one. There's no parenting involved. Of course, I could
always lie that she did something else, but she'd tell
my parents that was a lie, and then I'd be
hated or have to out her. Well, then I don't know,
you tell her if you don't fess up to this,

(28:58):
I like there are other ways. Another commoner says, if
you out her, she's also going to say that's a lie.
Opie says, I mean, she can't really lie about this
because there were many signs pointing to her being a sapphic.
This would just be the nail in the coffin. I
don't like this guy. I don't like him. I don't
like him. Another commenter says, stick to finding a different

(29:19):
way to say it. It really seems like you want
to tell them.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
That's what's so weird.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
Because you keep circling back to it in your responses.
Just because you hadn't had an issue with her when
you guys lived at your parents' house or whatever, it
doesn't mean that can't change as an adult now living
your own lives, little habits and things add up, like
with her seemingly trying to ruin your romantic moments. You
could definitely say you guys aren't getting the privacy or
personal space you want with her.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Which is literally what we were saying before. True, that
is totally normal. Your parents would understand that. You're like, yeah,
like I mean, when you guys were living in here,
we are our spicy sleep went down way.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
And maybe she's confused about where she stands with things.
Maybe she knows she like girls, but isn't sure where
she stands on it, which would add to her being crazy.
And her being crazy and apparently erratic is why you
don't want her there. She's overly emotional and I don't
know why, and we can't handle it. There's another reason
your reasoning doesn't have to be you saying anything remotely

(30:16):
close to her being a sapphic. You're very concerned about
your parents hating you, But haven't that I've seen mentioned
how much your sister would be affected if you tell
your parents you can't live with her because of her
crazy sapphic actions. Oh, he says, I don't wanta tell them.
I'm sorry if it seemed like I did. However, compared
to being hated by my parents, I'd rather tell them.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
What are you talking?

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Your parents are not gonna hate you, I mean unless
your parents are unreasonable, which is all the more reason
to not tell them your sister is saffic. If unless
your parents are crazy unreasonable, then just say it's not
working out, and maybe they'd be annoyed at you. There's
no reason they would hate you for saying you want
to have your own place with your partner.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Yeah. And also like, are you going to risk your
parents hating your sisters? Yeah, but they're not a chill
with her being talked to her at all.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
I don't think so, I feel like he hasn't talked
to her at all. Any other time I would have taken
the bullet for my sister, but right now I'm not
even sure I view her as my sister. I think
the personal space is a good suggestion, but my sister
would deny it, and that would lead to a whole
can of drama. The overly emotional would also be off
with them, because there would have to be something that
would make her emotional. Then you say, I don't know

(31:27):
what it is. Yeah, maybe it's something at school. I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Just say that you want your space, just try it?

Speaker 2 (31:34):
Which would you're like assuming so many things which would
lead back to me doing something to make her cry
all the time. My parents overreact and are super pessimistic,
which is precisely the reason she had to come here
in the first place. My sister wouldn't really be affected
by telling them, except from them being overly annoying. My
parents are not closet guard and are very supportive, but
they'd be surprised. I don't care. It is not your

(31:58):
right to tell them. I literally don't care about any
of your excuses. Yeah I don't care. Yeah, your sibling
is being weird and making your fiance uncomfortable, which is
not okay, So kick her out. Kick her out. I
don't care. There is no reason to out someone. I
don't care. This person makes me so annoying. My sister

(32:18):
is a bit shy, so I think she'd be uncomfortable
with them being excessively supportive. Another commenter says a couple
of questions, how old is Mia and what kind of
texts are you talking about here? If X friend was
ever more than a friend? Also, why did Annie walk
out crying just because Mia made them breakfast? Opie says
Mia is twenty one. The text I was talking about

(32:40):
was if X frind was ever more than a friend,
you know, I'd still be here by your side no
matter what. I'll always love you forever. Apparently that's a
freaking lie. You don't love her forever? You just said
she's not even your sister.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Yeah you talk to her, Yeah I did. It feels
like this guy is obsessed with crying to out his
sister and all also trying to like downplay the familial relationship.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah, Annie walked out crying because she hates feeling like
she's letting me get bullied. Basically, she felt like Mia
was pestering me because of her, and she was just
letting it happen when she could do something. Another commenter says, info,
I feel like this requires more context, like how old
your sister is twenty one? Another person says, again, a
lot of parents can be not closet guard until it
involves their family. I still think that if you decided

(33:27):
to out your sister, you would be the ape hole.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Agreed, But in.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
This case, your sister is also the a hole. It's
not mutually exclusive. You could all be a.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Holes a holes on a right was in the family. Yep.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
At twenty one, she's old enough to know how to
behave even if she's going through an overly horny baby
gay phase. Opie says, my parents are not closet guard.
My cousin came out as attracted the same gender two
years ago and they were very supportive.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
I guess different than your direct face.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
It's so different with your direct family. My mom's oldest
brother is also pan. I've been suggested to threaten to
out her oh and see if she chooses to change
her behavior. If not, I should punt her out. Don't
threaten out her, just threaten to kick her out.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Yeah, what huh is the story done? Are we done?

Speaker 2 (34:16):
This story's making me so angry. We're only halfway through.
Like the amount of justification that this guy is going through,
like the hoop said, he's jumping through to justify outing
his sister, it's ridiculous crazy. If my parents ask, I'll
tell them to ask her. And if she chooses to
lie to them and paint us is the bad guys,
then and only then will I tell them the truth.
Another commenter says, if you out your sister, you're the

(34:38):
a hole. If you don't punch your sister out, you're
the a hole. You're not the ale. If you throw
your sister out thereby making your home a safe place
again for your fiance agreed, and don't out your sister
to your parents. I suggest that you punt out your sister,
and if your parents are squid, tell them that she
repeatedly overstep boundaries and you're done with her disrespect. In melodrama,

(35:00):
you don't have to give details. You really don't. It's
the same thing. I don't understand why he thinks adding
and she's gay.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Is gonna change like some kind of smoking gun.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
Yeah, he's like, and she's gay, what.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Yeah, I think it's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Hi yeay yai. You don't have to give details. You're
not a child, and you can set boundaries with your
parents too. Yep, yep, yep, Opie says, in any other case,
not giving my family details would be fine. But she's
supposed to be moving out in a month anyways, and
by punting her out, I'd be depriving her of seeing
her friends. H h. You're gonna want to know why,

(35:42):
and if I don't say anything, then I'd be hated
or they assume literally saying the same thing. I know
that sounds a holy but I'm at a point where
my sister is almost like a stranger to me. Okay,
this is all the same thing, OPI has said, the
same thing. Everyone's saying, you're the ale uh literally, Okay,
there's gotta be an update. Okay, here, here's the last one.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
Thing.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
I never said it's it's okay to out a stranger.
I was saying that I'd rather out someone who I
don't know than lose the people I love do know her.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
What.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
That doesn't make it okay, but it's sensible. You can
tell me all you want that you would never out
a stranger. But given the choice between outing someone who
you have no connection with or losing the people who
you see as family, what would you do? She's your sister?
What At this point, Mia is even less than a stranger.
That's not true, and you live with her? What are
you talking about based off of what she did? At

(36:29):
least in my eyes, she's lost the right to expect
any sort of leniency from me. However, I have indeed
retraced my steps withouting meat. Before any decisions are made,
I'll be talking to Annie because Annie is the victim. Agreed,
I agree, Annie is the victim.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Here, let's get into this update. This guy is pissing
me off, kissing me off. Hey, it's Sam, your ogi
host here. Bring it back to the stories. But here's
three minutes bads from our sponsor.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
I got a lot of You would not be the
ale for putting my sister out, but you would be
the ale for outing my sister.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Thank God, please get it through your thick skull.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
I accepted it at that point and was going to
have a talk with my parents without outing my sister.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
And but then I really wanted to being especially vague.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Then, to my surprise, there was a string of not
the ale for both, the reason being my sister's behavior
was a crime.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
Dudeh what what?

Speaker 2 (37:25):
What?

Speaker 1 (37:25):
How did you go so wrong?

Speaker 2 (37:27):
What?

Speaker 1 (37:27):
Let's keep going, Let's keep going?

Speaker 2 (37:29):
Come on, and needs to be addressed immediately. I decided
to just talk with Annie, who was ultimately the victim,
and asked her what she wanted to do, with the
exception that there was no debating my sister getting the
heck out. She said she wanted to tell my parents
what happened because they deserved to know. I couldn't agree more.
Not because, like some of you suggested, I wanted to
out my sister for revenge, but because I think part

(37:50):
of the blame is on them. Growing up, I was
always the smart kid, and she was always the social kid.
My parents put my education over her events. She couldn't
invite her friends because I was studying. If she was
invited to a friend's birthday and I had tutoring around
the same time, she would either have to walk to
her friend's house, be late, or not even go at all.

(38:11):
At some point they realized how this was affecting her
and just let her do whatever she wanted when I
needed it to be quiet so I could study. They
would just ship me off to my uncle's house. I
didn't mind. My parents would let her do what she wanted,
but they still gave me more attention. So yes, like
some of you suggested, my sister definitely needs therapy. So
we talked to my parents about after we punted her out.

(38:32):
We told them what Mia did, and I think my
dad believed us, but my mom didn't. This part is
now all just being relayed from my parents. They went
to my sister and to my surprise, she came clean
to everything. Oh, finally she admitted what she did was wrong,
but she couldn't stop herself, and she was so angry
at me for getting all the attention all the time
I had all the good things she didn't. Well. It

(38:55):
ended up in shouting matches and they punted her out.
They punted her out of the house, but they moved
her into my aunt's. They gave her an ultimatum either
go to therapy or receive no financial support from them,
with the condition that when if she doesn't start therapy
within the next five years, they will not be paying
for her sessions. I think they should pay either way,
but it's their money, so not my place to say anything.

(39:17):
I yea. Do you have any final thoughts?

Speaker 1 (39:20):
No, I don't. I don't have any final thoughts. This
guy just I mean, I guess she came out to
her parents in this way? Did she come out?

Speaker 2 (39:29):
I guess he added her and then she agreed.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
Did she did he out her?

Speaker 2 (39:33):
Yeah? He said this is he and Annie said this
is what's been going on, and we think that yeah,
they said that, they said they added her. I'm just
also going back because I wanted to remember exactly what
she did. So all we know is that she openly flirted.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
We don't even know what that means.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
I just want to say I want to remind everyone
what Annie did and or what a Miya did, and
I want to make it clear that she she still
made Annie very uncomfortable and that's not okay and should
be kicked out. But all we know what she did
for certain. What she did is walk out crying whenever
they's kissed, cry loudly in her room, and openly flirt
with Annie.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
And that flirting looked like baking Annie a cake or
something or some food, make cooking for her.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
That's what we know. Mind need to get rid of
John then I just want to like, absolutely not okay
that Mia made Annie uncomfortable? Absolutely not okay, kick her out? Yeah,
kick her out. But does that mean that Opee can
out her? Like yeah, anonymous as something else must have happened.
It must have, but I feel like Opee would have
mentioned it. You know, Obay flirted and made her breakfast,

(40:39):
that's all we know. Yeah, and he's liked, what what
what did she do? I mean like, I feel like
we need to know what she did. We need to
know what she did, because like right now, I'm looking
at all the information we have and I'm like, what, Yeah,
I kick her out? Why did you out her? I
think you just I think he just worked. I'm like

(41:02):
everyone in the comments said, yeah, oh, Mauritza says, don't
forget the booty shorts, and again, if she did do
something worse, let us know, let us know.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
Seems like you're so excited to spill secrets, keep this
one too close to the chest.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
Yeah, I don't understand exactly what. I just I personally
don't think there's really any reason to out. That's the
end of that story, folks, And the end of this
Oh there's more, dang it. I haven't heard from my sister.
She texted Annie to tell her she's sorry and asked
her to meet up, but she hasn't reached out to me.
I probably wouldn't have responded if she did, though, I'll

(41:38):
also be looking into getting therapy, even if I'm angry
at my sister and never want to see her again.
I also feel like I lost her. Yes, Mia was
out in the end, but I think that considering everything,
this is the best outcome for her too. Thank you
for all the responses.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
I feel like Reddit's gonna crucify.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
Op Relevant comments say I feel like you glossed over
you punting her out? How did that go down? I
think that her texting and asking her to meet up
and not including you is a major boundary violation, especially
for your fiance who was being spicily harassed by her,
and she hasn't learned her lesson not the able. Opie
says she didn't want to go. She yelled at this
was unfair and didn't deserve this. Then she turned to

(42:15):
Annie and asked her what she wanted to do. Annie
told her she wanted her to leave, and she left quietly.
Another person says, five years I think she needs therapy.
Now five years is so far away it doesn't even
mean anything. I'd give her a couple months. Therapists are doing.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Zoom calls, Yeah, get therapy.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
My parents mean that she needs to reach out within
the next five years to get therapy, or they aren't
paying for sessions. Another person says, to be clear, your
parents want her to get therapy for her behavior, not
her identity, right, Opie says for her behavior. Another person says,
I'm curious and nosy. Why did your parents punt her out?
Was she refusing to get help or something? Seems like

(42:53):
a lot of it was going really positively and then
just fell apart. I'm worried that them evicting her as
well is then now to her more evidence of rejection
and being denied she needed help, but passing the buck
when she has literally said I feel like I always
came second, has been rejected by her crush an infatuation,
who again is with you? So another rejection even though

(43:13):
obviously your wife is your wife. But we're dealing with
a damaged person here being punted, outed and evicted again.
That is some serious emotional baggage right now. She's trying
to deal with Yes, this is pandemic times and pandemic
rules reign supreme, but boisting her to another relative seems
like it would do more harm than good. Also super

(43:34):
relevant that they were in the FID Yeah, because everyone
was super like crammed together.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Yeah, it's true, op.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
He says, my parents punted her out because she pestered Annie.
I don't know why they moved her into my aunt's though,
I'm guessing because they want to keep tabs on her
so she gets therapy and doesn't do anything drastic. I
hope my sister gets help, but I'm gonna be honest.
I've decided to stop worrying about my sister. I hope
she gets therapy, but what she does or doesn't do
is no longer unger any of my concern I want

(44:02):
to focus on helping Annie and myself. Annie and I
have already blocked my sister and everything, and I've made
it clear to my parents that if they do anything
to reinstall contact between my sister and I, I won't
speak to them again.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
And that, okay, is the end of that story. Okay,
I let us know what you think about OP. I'm
I'm sussed out by OP. Like to a large degree.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
But uh, I think you should have just kicked his
sister out.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
Yeah, and not done the whole outing. But hey, let
us know what you think. Put your answers to the comments.
This is not just our opinion. This is a conversation.
So yep, but that is where this story ends. Yeah, yeah,
let's let's do let's do one more.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah, three you one more.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're
gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a
quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My fart,
my partner. Okay, that's a little sister, all right, go
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(45:01):
for because it made him feel small.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Oh little man, feel small.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
In January, I, thirty six female, booked a small holiday
together with my partner forty one mail. Everything was under
my name and paid for everything. You'd pay me his half.
Three months later he told me he couldn't pay me
back anymore and asked me to cancel. By the way,
this comes from a Hello cath eighty nine. If you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
sash Okay story Time celebrate it. So if I canceled,

(45:26):
I would get ninety percent of my money back and
ten percent would not be refunded. I decided that I
would keep the booking and gift him his part because
we both needed to unwind a bit. He didn't like
it because it made him feel small. I can't take
a gift for my GOLFI because I feel like a
small real man.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
I want to give you a gift. I wanted to
pay for it.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
That's so lame. You know my girlfriend is taking me
to sandals Boom. I don't feel small, I feel pampered.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
It was big.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
I feel big. It feels big that I had to
care for him. He told me to just cancel it.
I told him that I didn't want to and that
it was a gift. He could stay at home, but
that I was going but he could come with me.
He told me he would come with me. Today is
the day we left for a little holiday. He did come,
but is screaming to me that what I did was wrong,

(46:19):
that I made the choice for him to get you
a gift, but I really didn't. I made the choice
for me and invited him to come with me without costs.
I really wanted a little holiday, but I regret that
he's with me. He's extremely mad at me, is unkind,
and only says that I manipulated him to feel small
and well, I just wanted to relax. Am I the
a hole for not canceling.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
You just want to go on him?

Speaker 1 (46:42):
Can I hear a little fragile masculinity?

Speaker 2 (46:47):
Masculinity he touched me, he'd break?

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Yeah, this like this right here, This is fragile masculinity
at its final.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
He's so fragile. If you blew on him, he'd fall apart.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
He's so fragile that if you gave him a birthday cake,
he said, I can bake it myself. Why are you
baking it for me? And then I can't? And then
hent do anything, But.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
I'm not gonna because it's not mailling.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
I could do it, I could, but I won't. You're
not the a hole. That's ridiculous. You have a fragile,
fragile man, not bring baby comments, not the a hole.
Did he offer to cover the cancelation fees or were
you supposed to eat that? But no, of course you're
not the a hole. He didn't have to come. Here's
the thing. You don't need a vacation together if he
keeps bugging at you, just get your own room and
do your own thing. Man, The dude sounds like an

(47:34):
insecure jack wagon. A great op responds, he did offer
the cancelation fees, but I just didn't want to cancel.
I just don't understand why I have to cancel my
plans because he changed his mind because he couldn't afford
it anymore. He keeps telling me that I'm the a
hole for not canceling, because that was the right thing
to do. But I'm unable to see why she's paying.

(47:56):
Why can I not enjoy a few days away after
gifting him this? Why was canceling the only option for him?
He only wants me to stay home with him. He
wasn't all right with him staying home and not coming
with me for free. And I can't understand why I
should stay home. I wish I could understand his reason,
but I can't. Maybe the reason he gave is not

(48:16):
the actual reason. Maybe he can't afford it, but there's
some other reason he doesn't want to go that he's
not telling you either way. Still, it still feels like
a either He's fragile, a fragile masculine man or he's
hiding it thirty secret? What is his thirty secret comment
to why did you force something that he had already
told you he could no longer afford and did not

(48:37):
want to accept being paid for? Don't really understand why
you didn't just tell him to pay you back X
amount a month until it was paid for.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
I could see. I feel like that's maybe I feel
like that's a little bit of a different, different situation.
I could see it's like like, hey, Sophia, let's go
on a trip together. Yes, no, no, no, you can't
afford it.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
No, I can't afford it.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Oh okay, Sofia, I just apprised you with the trip.
That's what happened.

Speaker 2 (49:03):
Yeah, and also he agreed to be clear, he agreed.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
And read initially but said the reason was he couldn't
afford it.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
Yeah. And then she was like, well I would love
to take you. Yeah, let me pay for it. Oh.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
P I gave him the choice to come with me,
but that he didn't have to. I didn't force him,
but he didn't. Yeah, she didn't. She didn't. She just
basically is like, I didn't want to cancel it.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
Yeah, she wants to go that's where she wants to go.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Oh you could not go? And yeah, and she's like
comfortable just eating the cost.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
I didn't force him, but he did say it would
look bad that I would go on a little holiday
without him.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
This is the thing. It's like, it's not that she's saying,
oh uh, he has to come. She's saying, I'm going
whether or not he's coming, and he's upset that I'm
still going.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
My girlfriend is in Italy right now, and that's freaking sick.
That's freak, that's freaking. She's so cool. She sends me
a little pictures of her doing cool Italy stuff.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
I love that, and I give her a recommendation.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
And so he gave her a recommendation. That is sick
as heck, not sick as heck if you're a little fragile,
little baby boy, baby boy, he wanted me to stay home.
Comment three, In what way are you happy with this
person in your life? Like, seriously, I want to know,
is he super fantastic in bed? Is he curing cancer?
I'm out of ideas after that. Not the a hole obviously,

(50:15):
OPI says he was kind to me and loving. Of
course we have arguments because we were both strong headed.
But something changed a few months ago. Oh oh, oh, secret,
there's a secret. There's a secret. He's actually not insecure.
He just has a secret. He has a secret secret.
We bought a house together. I'm regretting that right now.
And well, maybe it's stress. But he's mad at everything

(50:36):
and gas lights me that I make him feel like
he can't do anything right, like still going on the
holiday after he told me he couldn't afford it anymore.
And we got an update. What is your guess of
what's happening? Yeah, the secret cheating? There's a secret. Yeah,
that's a classic one. Come up with something more Interesteah.

Speaker 2 (50:52):
His mother lives in his basement?

Speaker 1 (50:56):
All right, is either cheating or his mother lives in
his basement? I think, and maybe and make some cakes.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
I come here, little baby boy, little can do your lunchry? Yes,
nigcause mammy, thanks mama, mummy. Don't don't be noisy.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
It'll be noisy.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
My wife to be? Will hear my wife to be?
A will to get up? Curious?

Speaker 1 (51:16):
It's upset. Well, update, I told him we needed a
long walk and talk. I won't tell the whole conversation
because it was about two hours. But basically it was this,
because I have to help him so much, he feels
like a failure. Well that's not my fault, of course,
but I did tell him that he needed to do better. Yes,
I earned slightly more, but it doesn't add up that
I can save money, help him and pay my part

(51:38):
of the bills and he can't. I did tell him
that maybe he needed to quit smoking and drinking, because
he does that a lot and couldn't tell me on
how much he spends on those things. We live life
in the Netherlands, so especially smoking is really expensive here.
But yeah, it made him feel that he can't do
anything right. He felt that my invite to the holiday
was a slap in the face because he again couldn't

(51:59):
pay for something. I told him that it wasn't fair
that I had to put my life on hold because
it can't budget his money properly.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
That's the thing. It's like, Oh, he's not even saying
like like making him feel bad that he can't pay
for things, or expecting him to pay for things. She's
just saying I'm gonna do stuff because I can afford it. Yeah,
and you can't tell me. I can't do it.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
Yeah, I'm gonna do it anyway. I don't think he's
mad that I'm a woman and he's a man or something.
It's more that he feels like a failure and needs
to react this to others around him. It's sad, but
not my fault. I told him that I wanted therapy.
He told me once again that he couldn't afford it,
so if I wanted it, that I needed to pay
for it. Yeah, I don't know. I said that I
wanted to enjoy my five day holiday and that he

(52:37):
could leave if he was going to stay and be
a butt. He told me he would man up. We
will see. I did tell him that he will never
control me, and he promised me that he will never
try that. We have an update. He was spying on
me while I was reading some of your answers on
my phone. He got extremely mad that I shared private
matters with strangers on the Internet and was lying. I
said that I needed some insights on this from strangers.

(52:59):
Apparently it's wrong to ask the internet and to expose
a private matter. I don't know. It's not that someone
knows what our real names are. I want to thank
you all though, to take time to read my problem
and trying to give me advice. We got another update
question for you guys. Yeah, do you think it's wrong
to expose private but anonymous details to the internet.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
I just so anonymous. I think it's okay with I mean,
that's our whole job.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
So yeah, yeah, and we would be out of a job.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
That way, have a job if it were no care.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
You gotta sign on for two people that have no
vested interest that.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
Well, it's okay. I keep sending in your stories.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Up date three. It's four. I am here and I'm
still up talking with him. We are going nowhere. It
sounded for a little while like we had figured it out,
but then it spiraled back down. I just blank out
told him that I wanted therapy. He told me that
he was okay with that if I deleted this post
and only asked the therapist prohap, I said, no, I
feel like that's a little strong headed. I think I
would you could have. I think I think deleted it

(53:58):
that I asked you for all all the insights. He
told me that I just making him look bad on
the internet with the lying. I asked him what difference
was this with asking you and him calling slash chatting
a friend. He said he just told one friend and
that I exposed him in front of ten thousand people.
I told him that you all don't know who I am,
and that this friend does know who I am. Right now,

(54:21):
he keeps telling me that I have to stop writing
if I want to save this relationship.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
I think that's fair.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
I think that's about.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
I think that's fair.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
I think that's about he's setting a boundary. I think
that's okay.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
I agree. I think for him to say, like, hey,
please stop writing about this, I think that's very fair.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
Yeah, And if you keep writing about it, I think
it's a breach of press.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
But I feel that this is very, very controlling.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Maybe I just am not able to understand why I
read it. Post is so much more wrong than telling
a friend about a problem.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
But I think that you can have that boundary of
saying like, hey, can you not spread this information while
we're figuring it out with your friend?

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Yeah, I think you could do that too.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
I think you could do it too.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
Maybe this is my shortcoming. I asked him why my
needs are worth less than his needs? But He just
says that I'm manipulating in a liar, and I'm sick
of it. He acts like everything is in my head
or that I'm lying or trying to ruin his life.
I know that my story here is one sided, but
I can't tell on how he sees things because of
the simple fact that I'm not him. Just like his
story to that friend. I asked him to please just

(55:16):
behave and let me enjoy the four days holiday I've
left or to go home, but he told me that
he also deserves this holiday, will pay me back everything
that I could shut up with saying that I paid
for the holiday and deserve some peace. I'm always thinking
that I need to call the hotel security to just
take him out of this room. I don't know if
that deals necessary. This feels like guys need to break up.

(55:38):
But if I do that, I know that this relationship
is over.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Yeah, yo, dude, when you start thinking about calling this
hotel security on your partner, the relationship is over.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
What do you have that thought it's done?

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Also, he said, oh yeah, you shut up. You guys
are over.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
You guys are over, over, over, over and out. Update
for he plays the victim now keeping his head low
and doesn't really talk like he doesn't dare. I'm not
a fool and know that he does this to show
that he is just a victim and I'm the meanie.
I'm going to take advantage of this and going to
do something fun for myself. Thank you for all the advice.

(56:16):
Update five whoop. He said he was sorry, he's not
and that he will go to therapy for himself and
for relationship therapy what he.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
Could afford therapy this whole time because.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
He was lying. Maybe his friend called him out, or
he just realized himself. Everyone is wrong sometimes. I'm also
wrong on so many things in life, but everyone earns
a chance to learn from mistakes and do better. I
want to thank everyone again who gave me advice, both
the people who agreed with me and the people who didn't.
He gave me a lot of insight about my own behavior,
about his, and to watch out for red flags. What
our future beholds is still a mystery, but I'm glad

(56:47):
that he is okay now to go to the therapist.
We can now try to work out better versions of
ourselves with the help of a therapist. Okay, I guess so.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
I don't know, dude, that was rank godos are not
meant to you together.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
I don't know, man. Y'all y'all are very strong headed people. Yeah,
let us know in the comments if you think these
two people should stay together or break up bikes. I
think that is where that story, folks, and this episode ends.
Let us know what you think of the comments. If
you love us, make sure to subscribe.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
We love you and see on tomorrow

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} I don’t want an AFFAIR child but my family is pressuring me! | Reddit Stories | EP2256