April 28, 2025 • 48 mins
🎁 Become a member and get bonus livestreams on Mondays & Fridays!
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@OKOPShow/join
👯♂️ Hang out with us on Discord!
👉 [discord.gg/okstorytime](http://discord.gg/okstorytime)
✍️ Have a story? Join our subreddit and submit your story there for a chance to be featured!
👉 https://www.reddit.com/r/okstorytime/
🏆 Want ad free podcast episodes? Join our Patreon
👉 https://www.patreon.com/okopshow
👀 Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@OKOPShow
00:00 r/BestofRedditorUpdates - AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend bring her dead dog’s ashes on vacation?
16:49 r/BORUpdates - [New update] Overheard fiancé’s friends saying that he is settling for me
32:51 r/charloteedobreyoutube - AITA for not only canceling my wedding, but breaking up with my fiancé?
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
#reddit #funnyredditposts
okay storytime, okstorytime, okopshow, okop show
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is intergalactic John. This is Alien Sam on the
International Okay Storytime podcast station.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And we have some human stories coming up, not alien.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
But before we make a landing, stick around for this
two minute not alien ad break before we get to
these interstellar stories.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I forbid my girlfriend to spread her dog's ashes on
our vacation.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
My girlfriend, twenty nine female, and I twenty eight male,
have been together for four months. She had a dog
that passed away a few months before we met.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Start off straw. That's tough, by the way.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
This comes from Overall Tomatoes six six sixty four, and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
our slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So I've only spent the
night at her place. I live with my sister and
her two kids, so it's a little chaotic at my place.
Girlfriend has a small two to three inch tall urn
on her bedside table with their dogs ashes.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
At some pretty decent signs. Before she turns off.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Her lamp to go to sleep, she always gives it
a little tap on the top and says good night,
as though she is talking to the dog.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I think it's weird, but I have never said anything.
Oh pee, I know where this is going. I know
where we're going.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I feel like we're going to a hoole territory. Very quick,
we're approaching it. We were supposed to go away for
the weekend and on Friday I was watching her pack
and notice she took the urn and put it in
the top pocket of her backpack. What do you think, John,
you're taking those urns with you to go?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
We're going on a hike. Man going on a hike.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I wanted to see the sunset, to go box sue
me to go box crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I asked what she was doing.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
She said she didn't want to leave the dog behind.
I told her she was not allowed to bring the
urn as it made me very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Get over it.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I didn't want to see it anytime we returned to
our hotel room. I didn't want her talk you're passed
away dog after we've had spicy sleep, I even before
we go to sleep. Ohoo, it's weird and frankly, she's
been mourning this.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Dog for too long.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Brother, dude, you just got you gotta have some pillow
talk and then some urned talk, some.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Dog talking night dog, My dog's at.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
She didn't argue. She simply started to unpack her bag.
She told me to have a fun. She told me
to have fun on the weekend getaway as she would
not be coming.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Uh. Oh, I sense a double on Tandra from that sentence.
Oh that you do yo?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I asked if she was seriously choosing a dog's ashes
over me, your four month old boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Whoa?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
She said, And this is a bar or, Ladies, take
notes if you're ever dumping a dude.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
She was too herself over me, as I could have
spoken to her with kindness and empathy but didn't. She
also said that I didn't get to dictate how long
she's allowed to grieve. Then she asked me to leave.
She hasn't replied to my text. I think she's overreacting.
My sister said she can see both of our sides.
Am I the a hole for thinking my girlfriend is
(03:20):
weird for being so attached to her passed away dogs ashes.
There isn't edit and there is oh bus updates. Oh wow,
Kobe is update. But Johnny Palmy, what do you think
of the story so far? Is opda hole?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
My brother in Christ has missed something completely and that
is the point.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
The point is that your girlfriend is mourning and and
and feels for the why try to control her?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Like why now? Now? Is it is it fair for
him to be like, yeah, you know she like talking
to dog. Stuff. Is like it's a little different. It's
a little different.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I mean morning and talking to a dog seven months
after it has passed away is definitely, you know, unusual.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
So I don't think it's not hurting anyone exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I don't think there's anything wrong again with him me
like just like clocking a like, oh yeah, that's a
little different.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
But the you cross the line when it's like you're trying.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
To control her and stuff like oh like don't don't
talk to dog and don't all these one why do
you want to control her?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
And two? Who cares?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
She's she's empathy. She's getting some sort of emotional relief
from doing.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, it's like if you only wanted to have spicy
sleep in a fireman's outfit.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
That's not hurting anyone.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It's weird, but I mean like spirement or sexy, like
get over it, but we have some edits. The hotel
was not refundable and only a three hour drive, so
I went on the trip without her and then too,
she started seeing psychologists around the same we started dating.
She hasn't told me any specifics, but she said the
(05:03):
trauma of suddenly losing her dog brought to the surface
other trauma in her past. This is why I think
she has been mourning for too long. She has still
attached to the dog even after seeing a professional on
a regular basis for several months. And unsurprisingly, Reddit as
even this person had a hole. We had comments in
(05:28):
an update, but I think I think we agree with it.
Let's get into the update. So we have a down
voted commenter saying, you aren't the a hole, and I
think it's really effing weird to travel with ashes. Dodged
a bullet in my opinion, You could have used nicer words, though,
and Opie responds, I don't think I dodged a bullet.
She is a wonderful woman. I just didn't want to
have a reminder of a passed away dog while we
(05:50):
were supposed to be having fun and relaxing time. And
another commenter says, he you're the a hole. You do
not get to tell her what she is allowed or
not allowed to do, period. Who cares that she carries
a little urn with her. I could understand if it's
the size of a lamp, but it can fit into
the palm of a hand. Saying good night to the
ashes is not a big big deal. I would be
(06:11):
more concerned if every time she said good night she
broke down in a sea of tears.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
But she doesn't.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
It's something that brings her comfort. My first dog as
an adult I had for fifteen years. I still talk
to his ashes sometimes. Okay, maybe it's not as unusual
as we thought. Hey, I love that I still have
a piece of my boy with me. Opie responding, she
only had the dog for a few years. I think
it was eight or nine when it passed. That's a
lot of years. It was diagnosed with cancer and passed
(06:36):
away a couple weeks later. And another comport says, you're
mad that she loved her dog that passed away of cancer.
Oh my god, Opie responds, And the point I was
trying to make it was that having the dog for
only a few years means she couldn't have been attached
as someone who lost their pet of ten plus years
and raised them. Since it was a puppy eight nine
(06:59):
years John, and did I right?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
We're talking at one to two year different was it
was the dog eight to nine years old.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I think she had it for a few years and
then it was eight to nine when it passed, So
I think she like adopted it maybe when it was
like three to four.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Brune needs to update his software because yeah, he's he's
just not getting it.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
You know, like parents that have a child die at
like three or four definitely aren't heartbroken.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Oh yeah, dude, Like, yeah, listen, it only had a
couple of years. Yeah, get over it.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Not to compare our fur babies to our actual babies.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, but also clip that gotdom.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Gottam comment to three, dang bud, It's obviously you're lacking
some emotions and or compassion. Nop response. Is it wrong
for me not to want to be reminded of a
passway dog while we're on a weekend get away and
comma to four. Honestly, your reaction and doubling down is
far more weird than taking the ashes. You are a
(07:57):
walking red flag. Your behavior shows you have a control issue.
You should probably start seeing a therapist yourself, and trust me,
you'll be going a lot longer than your now x.
I applaud her for choosing herself for happiness and her
peace over you. And if her responds, I'm not trying
to double down. I get that using the word oh
(08:17):
wow was wrong. That was my mistake. But maybe my
girlfriend should have told me that's why she was canceling
our trip and we could have had a discussion. Instead,
she decided to unpack and stay home. That seems like
an overreaction. And also I'm waiting for the drop of
it being ex girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Oh, that must be coming.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
So if that does not come at the end of
the story, I do not know what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, yeah, this is a little little and updates. We
have an update the next day. Whoa update. And I'm
sure this will make a lot of you happy. I
get it.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I'm the a.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I texted my girlfriend to say I'm sorry for how
I spoke to her and for dismissing her feelings.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
It was wrong.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I also said I would like to apologize in person,
and offered to bring over her favorite takeout. She said, quote,
all good. Did She's fine with it? She's so oh yeah,
she wants to get back together. We're back, We're back,
We're back to normal.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
All good, don't worry about an in person apology. I
gather the things you've left at my house. Let me
know when you would like to come pick them up. Ooh,
stone cold, don't work stone cold about an in person
Opie works, Opie's girlfriend works quick, dude ICs girlfriend true.
(09:50):
I'm hoping she will still hear me out when I
go to her place. And edit three. To those of
you dming me who think I'm not the a hole
but won't post a public comment due to the being downvoted,
please stop cowards.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
That is cowardly to know I was saying.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
My girlfriend is a lunatic, a sociopath, unhinged, a trauma dumper,
has endless emotional baggage, in need of a mental institution, etc.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Please stop too.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
While myself and others may not understand what she is
going through, that doesn't automatically make her mentally unstable. She
has a good heart and a good head on her shoulders.
Name calling is a necessary and borderline ruler than I was.
And this John is the final update.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
WHOA, I don't know what, I don't know where else
we have to go from here.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
The relationship is ended. It's gotta be something little nutty. Well,
let's see.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
So I shared this post with her, thinking it might
help her see that I was wrong and I'm owning up. See, Babe, bro,
I bet you those last.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Couple things were performative.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
He's like, I can use this internet clout to get
babe back.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Who's farming karma now?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Yad?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Dude? Ope?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
And maybe it would open the door to a discussion.
And that blew up in my face. I probably should
have deleted some of the questionable comments I made in
this thread. She texted to say, your things are now
in a garbage bag on the porch. Pick them up
sooner than later so they aren't stolen. Goodbye my name,
Please respect my wishes, and don't text me anymore. We
(11:24):
got some relevant comments. Commentary one says, not the a hole.
I understand that everyone grieves differently, but this is just KOOKI.
I've got a few pets pass away, and I agreeve
for one dog for several months, so I understand her
feelings and loss. If she brings the urn, the urn
breaks and the ashes fly all over the place, or
she loses it, will she have a psychotic break?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
That's a bit.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Much gott Commenters, what are you doing your cowards Yeah,
you coward.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Stand up and say it to my face.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Come on, guys, maybe she should have left the urn
at home with a bowl of water and some kivel. Response,
it is two inches to all again, Look at that's
two inches.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Now we know why he was mad. Yeah, that's two inches. Nice.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
It can only hold a few tablespoons at most. The
rest of the ashes are kept in a scatterbox. At
the small one broke, she would still have the majority
of the ashes. She has backup ashes. Oh his girlfriend
take the urn everywhere with her? Ope response. She doesn't
take them anywhere outside her place, which is why I
(12:35):
thought it was weird that she wanted to bring them
on our trip. As others had pointed out, she probably
just wanted to continue her bedtime routine of saying good night.
I would ask her, but I've decided to give her
some space and comment or two says. Imagine competing with
a literal passed away dog. You're the a hole. Oh true,
you are the a hole?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Oh pie response I'm not trying to compete with the dog.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I just don't know of anyone else who talks to
the ashes of their passaway dog.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Chounter three.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Your ex girlfriend is awesome, which she kind of it.
That is like, yeah, too bad. You simply couldn't grasp
it before screwing it up. I hope you learned a lesson,
and hope he responds in all honesty, the only thing
I've learned is to keep my mouth shut when I'm uncomfortable,
as I still don't fully understand why she can't be
away for a night with her dog. Again, it's not
(13:25):
that she can't be away, she just doesn't want you
controlling how she grieves. She doesn't want you controlling, Like
it's like it's like something that doesn't matter. Maybe it
doesn't matter. Yes, it might be a little unusual, but again,
like how is this? I don't want to understand why
this is weirdly affecting you.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
And it's like I don't know. It's like so it's
like cute, it's sweet, and it's cute. It's cute. Yeah,
we'll quirk, we'll quirk. She's a quirky girl. Coundra four.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
That's because you are not a kind and understanding person.
I'm glad she left you, and OPI responds, she's been
on international trips for weeks without her dog.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
It was alive. How is this any difference?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
And did OPI have pets in the past, Opie responds, No,
my parents never allowed it. It was never something I
had an interest in doing when I became an adult.
I'm not anti pet. I just have no experience to
draw from. And yeah, OPI was down voted to oblivion.
We have another updates. Oh two days later. Oh, don't
(14:23):
don't tell me. He goes back, like so, OPI doesn't
understand when to give up. I am very fearful he
is taking this. I'm not going to give up energy
back to ex's doorstep. I hope she blocks him. I
hope she blocks.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
We need we need a physical block. Yeah, yeah, like.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Just like maybe like a bunch of two inch cattagger
and she's like, oh, I can't get next to them. Oki,
it's weird. Updates for those of you who asked, this
is the urn. By the way, you can listen to
full episodes of this story and other stories.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Just like it.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Just go to the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, or your
favorite podcast app and search. Okay, story time he puts
in a little box in your ear holes or an
urn all.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Day every night.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Some more relevant comments that Opie responded to. So commenter one,
the ashes are still the dog emotionally, that's why she's
choosing to bring them for comfort, and OPI responds, I
get that now. I was merely trying to explain why
I thought our fun weekend plan ranked higher than an urn.
I never said I was more important than her dog,
just the remains. If I had taken the time to
ask her about it instead of speaking to her like
(15:37):
a child, maybe things would have played out differently than
they did. In Commenter two responds, you should have learned
this lesson to approach people with kindness and empathy if
he told you what was needed, and OPI responds, I
didn't realize it was still a touchy subject for her,
certainly not something to break up over. Commenter three, you've
only been together four months. You shouldn't be so attached
(15:57):
to someone you've had in your life for so time.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah, it comes full circle.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
You have an unhealthy attachment to your ex girlfriend and
you should talk to someone about it. It's not good
for you or anyone. It's not healthy in Opie response, so,
I'm not allowed to be attached for four months, but
it's okay that my ex girlfriend became attached to a
dog in the same amount of time.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Look at this, this is the point.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Uh who wre we go? Huh, well, I think you
just missed it. You just missed the point. H and
that's where it ends. That's where it ends.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Dye Riley has the picture of the earned relationship.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Here we go. Oh, that's the end of that story.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
But we got some more stories coming up for you
right now.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Let's go.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I just found out my fiance is settling for me
right before her wedding.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Not the moment that you want to know that your
wife is settling. Editor's note.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
One modern method to serve for a partner in an
arranged marriage market is through WhatsApp. Matchmakers know yanti's community
elders that run these small groups where people of that
community slash ethnicity can join through fee slash recommendations. They
share profiles of people that are single and people can
take it forward to set up dates. By the way,
this comes from throway fan on seven two four to
(17:20):
six seven. And if you want to spend your own story,
go to the our slash okay story time separate.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I twenty five female had a crush on my fiance
ever since.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
We were six years old.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I would ask him out through friends ever so often
until I turned fifteen years old. Everyone around us, including him,
knew that I had a huge crush on him, and
the fact that he never really said no.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
He would always either.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Just respond with I know she has a crush on me,
him never giving a clear answer just fueled my delusion.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I know it wasn't his fault. I was just being crazy.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I never really got much attention from guys except a few,
whereas he got tons and tons of attention from girls.
Until uh oh, the time I turned twenty three and
he turned twenty four years old, I hadn't had any boyfriend,
whereas he had had been in around thirteen relationships that
I know of.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Whoa, thirteen is a normal amount, but he was putting
numbers on the board. Thirteen is is a lot? Thirteen
don whoa? I have not had that many. Thirteen's crazy? Yeah, yeah,
twelve relationships, yeah, twelve, twelve is reasonable, really comfortable number?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Now, uh some might have been more serious than others
these relationships. But yes, it was two years back when
we met again in a different city where we were
both working, and we started hanging out together. As he
didn't really know anyone else in that city. I hope
he was the only option.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Oh god, so one falling into my plan.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Well, one thing led to another and we started dating.
Over time, we got quite serious. Then just a week
back he proposed to me and I said, yes, Wow,
kind of worked fairy tale ending, Opie cornered this man
in the market. This is all gonna work out perfectly,
And nothing in the title will ruin what's about to know?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Not at all?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Nothing except yesterday while at our engagement party, I was
in the washroom from where I could hear the conversation
outside in the parking era.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
No, I just remember the title. I know, I just
remember the title. Oh no, blocking jeez.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
So I was in the washroom where I could hear
the conversation outside in the parking area because there was
a window in the washroom. I overheard a few of
his friends discussing how my fiance is just settling for me,
as I worship him and do whatever he would ask.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Okay, but at least it's not the fiance saying that.
But it's that's a win. I guess well, I thought.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I think what's happening here is I overheard a few
of his friends discussing, how am I okay? So it is,
as far as we know, the friends just making this comment.
Not I thought it was maybe like which still sucks,
but could be worse, could be worse. That's that's true.
Maybe maybe they're just terrible friends and fiance's.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Incredible, exactly exactly. The apple fell very far from the tree,
oh apple bottom.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Please, Now, this is making me rethink our entire relationship,
as I've always internally felt as if he wasn't really
in the relationship as much as I was because of
little things like he wouldn't hold my hand on the sidewalk,
or he would just respond to my I love.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
You with thank you, and you got married. You're not
married yet.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
You're about to get get married, and he won't hold
your hand. This man probably a little embarrassed to be
seen with you.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Dude, I love you and thank you? Wow?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Oh why how did you get this far?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah? I mean is this the case of this is
literally someone that Opie's been pining for since they were children,
and so she's like, I finally got it. The rose
tinted glasses has been bacon since child it's deep red.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
See, I feel like the not from any fault of
maybe I mean, well maybe fault, but like there's definitely
ah interest in balance here, quite sure.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Even the proposal. I had told him that I wanted
to get married by twenty six. I wonder whether he
actually wanted to marry me or it was just me pressuring.
He is a conventionally attractive guy, whereas I am slightly
blow average and I don't even have the personality to
make up for it. I really love him, but I
don't think he loves me the same. Ever since yesterday,
(21:58):
everything has been dumb. I have no idea what to
think or even do. I don't know what to do.
We have an update three days later.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Well it feels like right now she kind of already
knows he's not as into her as uh she is
into him, yes, but maybe she's okay with that. Also,
Like in terms of the fiance, hasn't said anything directly.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
No actual word from the fiance. Yeah, except thank you.
Those are the only two words.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
He's not holding our hand, He's not he's not he's
not talking to us. He's just responding with thank you
when I mean that that's a little bit of a
smoking cop.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
You know, Yeah, I love you. Thank you is crazy?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I it doesn't. It doesn't feel like a balanced relationship.
I don't know if that's I don't know if this
is the one.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Op. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
My ICU before this update is that I think of
Ope will eventually get there, but I think it's gonna
take her some time. I am or to fully sink
in about the imbalance, that this might not.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Be the might be the one.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well three days later. Uh So, firstly, I'd like to
thank you all for your advice. Today after posting this,
I met up with Beyonce. On meeting him, I told
him how I have been feeling and did not mention
the fact that I overheard his friends. On hearing that,
he became emotional. He admitted to not being attracted to
(23:28):
me physically, but liking me as a person. Usually when
you say, but it's something that will help make the
situation like, I.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Mean, that's that's something, dude.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
That's that's what you say to like your acquaintances like
a person, like like you have your friends and then
people you like his people also, can.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
We point out he's the one that propaul oozed why
are you well?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
But maybe maybe he doesn't care about being attracted to her.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Is this is this a life partnership?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Well, maybe it's yeah, Maybe it's yeah. Maybe it's a
life partnership thing. And he's like, dude, like we're gonna
be so old and so gray, I'm not gonna be
able to get it up. But you know, like I'm
just focusing on you as a person, not like trying
to jump your bones all the time. Wow, maybe he's
thinking like that.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
So uh it honestly did hurt, as in my head
I was expecting him to say something along the lines
of him loving me no matter what the other's thoughts,
he still wants to marry me and I still love him.
He has promised to try harder and be more present
in the relationship. He really has been trying these past
(24:50):
few days. He texts me every single day and also
reciprocates my I love yous.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Keyword trying. I just don't. I just don't think that.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
You like. Asking him to say I love you and
respond to your texts is a signal that this is
going to be a great relationship moving forward. He might
be able to keep this up for a little bit,
but like, you're only going to really be able to
keep this up for a lifetime if you you're like,
if you're into it, you know, if you're into it.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
I told my mother and grandmother about everything that has
been happening, to which their response was more on the
lines of I should be grateful that someone like him
is going for someone like me, and once we get married,
he will change over time, Mom and.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Grandma, who's side somewhere like him is marrying someone like me.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Street rat riff rev, I don't buy that.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Whatever the Aladdin thing, oh yeah, it's just the my heart,
the ugly streeter erinchin marrying the prince.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
I feel like that's the setup that they're buying about
to hop on a flying carpet. Yeah, talk to a
freaking bird.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
So now this has put me in a tougher position,
But honestly speaking, I think I will just go ahead
with the wedding as the other option is arranged marriage
and I'm not really keen on that, and he's really
started putting in the effort. I do believe that he
will actually fall for me gradually. Overall, the commenters felt
(26:34):
and we have another update three weeks later.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Oh man, after the wedding. There's no way they're still together.
There's no way. There's no way the wedding could have
already happened at this point. Could they could be married?
They could be married. I'm guessing they take a step back.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Well, if he says I've attached on my earlier posts, hello,
a lot has happened. It's my last update. I've been
in two minds ever since that day. After posting that update,
and I received a flood of negative responses, and I
had a moment of realization that I had been avoiding.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Yes, realization, here we go. Good in there.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
So I decided to have another conversation with him, one
final talk where I laid out everything bare. I told
him exactly how I felt, and I admitted the truth
that I had known deep down but had been too
afraid to voice, that he didn't really love me.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
He neither confirmed nor denied, just state silent. After that,
I ended it.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I called off the engagement and handed the ring back
to him. He didn't fight me on it, didn't argue,
didn't try to change my mind. He just sat there
silent and only said, look.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
That was it.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
No grand declarations, no desperate attempts to stop me, just okay,
And that, more than anything, solidified my decision. If he
had truly loved me, wouldn't he have said something, wouldn't
he have at least tried. But two days after that conversation,
he showed up at my place and started begging me
to take him back. He began showing up at my
place every other day with flowers and sending gifts. It's
(28:12):
been two weeks of this now, and I don't know
what to make of it. I wish I could say
I was immune to it, that I was standing strong,
But the truth is still love him, and after seeing
him actually trying something I had wanted for so long
as me melting, I haven't yet taken him back, but
I am so very close to doing so.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
I don't think it's a good idea teetering off the
edge here.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
The other day he.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Even showed up at my parents' place, asking them to
convince me. They already were not in favor of my
decision to break off the engagement. Him trying just fueled
them even more. There's constant pressure of taking him back
through them. They see my decision to leave him as
something illogical. By the way, if you want to make
(29:00):
the most logical decision of your life, then enjoy two
thousand episodes of stories just like this, full freaking episodes.
Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, your favorite pot app search. Okay, storytime, Boom,
They're all right through it. Do it right now?
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Do it?
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Hey and Sam, we're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
But Sam, we do we do actually have a sizable
chunk level in the story? Yeah, do we think that
she's going to take him back?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
We're teetering right on the edge.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I want to believe that op is going to make
the right decision for her future happiness, which would be
to not be with this person. That Yeah, it seems
he's doing it. He's doing an emotional sprint right now. Right,
He's like, he's like, yeah, let me show her how
good I am he's doing. He's love bombing. He's love bombing,
and and that bomb will not last long. This is
(29:55):
not a slow stoked fire that will will last the whole.
This is an instant and then it's cold. It's cold
in that relationship after.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
That, Usain bolt, He's got to take a rest sometime. Yep.
He can't run forever. No, it can't. Well.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Ope, he goes on to say, I honestly don't know
what to believe, and I'm just scared that once I
take him back, they'll go back.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
To his old ways. Yep. Mark.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
Plus, my mother has joined some matrimonial WhatsApp groups and
keeps sending me pictures of guys, urging me to meet
up with them.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
I think she just.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Wants me married off to whom doesn't matter as I'm
the only child. Both of them don't have anyone else
to focus on. I do not know what to do anymore,
not that I was ever clear about it in the
first place. There's just constant pressure through my parents and
relatives to get married, and it has really started to
affect me. And there's a relevant comment who East Time
(30:50):
one fifty says, don't go back. Finally, first story I've
read on Reddit where someone took self respect more importantly,
don't reverse it.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Please.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
It's not like he starts finding you attractive in two days. Bro,
Come on, don't take him back. Lexibat says it, girl,
you did good, and the reality is that once you
take him back, he's gonna go back to his old ways.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Yeah, that's what I think too.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
He's just in the immediate shock of the breakup and
nothing more. Once it passes, he's going to feel relieved.
Believe me, if you take him back, his old doubts
are going to creep up, and he'll spend the rest
of your life trying to convince him that you're good
enough for him. You'll spend the rest of your life
doubting yourself and your worth. He is going to erode
your confidence and self steam away. Oh stay strong and
(31:37):
let this pass. Give it time and stand your ground.
God Zillages says, let's put some respect to say it twice. Golly,
kudos to you for having self respect and making a
decision to end what you thought was settling for quote.
On the other hand, I wonder why he settled for
you if he had so much female attention. Maybe he
sees something in you that he just hasn't found somewhere else.
(31:57):
Physical attraction is necessary, but at the same time, I'm
slightly overrated. The shine of a beautiful woman or a
handsome man wears off quickly when you get down to
business of living your daily lives together, raising kids, supporting families,
et cetera. Suggest talking to him to figure out why
he wants you. You're not bound by anything, and you've
already broken the engagement. It costs you nothing to figure
(32:18):
out whether it's worth salvaging.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Good luck. We'll just quickly say, well, I am curious.
I'm curious.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
I don't know if the curiosity is worth it, especially
given how teetering on the edge op is.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
I think the curiosity is worth it because then we
would get another update of this story, which I'm very
curious on. But for your own health, happiness, well being,
probably not worth it. Yes, yes, and that is Unfortunately
my mom's fiance is a nightmare. I don't think I
can go through with the wedding wake up.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
This story takes place over two years ago at a
funny idea to name this post of problems with mommy dearest,
but changed my mind because it wasn't only about his mother.
It was very much about him, and mainly him. By
the way, this comes from Fun Size WEIRDO twenty seven
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to our slash Okay story time. So I wrote it,
(33:18):
So I twenty four female at the time, was twenty two.
Got engaged to a guy I was friends with for
four years after dating him for four months. Let's call
him Hester. He was twenty three male at the time.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
What a name.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
I was actually really close to him. Like I said,
we were friends for four years. After being friends for
so long, I ended up single and he decided to
shoot his shot. I was excited because no one had
really pursued me before. I pursued my exes first, and
he was so sweet and funny, and I love spending
time with him. He seems so genuine. Then I started
(33:54):
dating him. Here we go, Here we go, And for
all of the four months it was great.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Mostly.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Oh he even bought my dog Valentine's treats on Valentine's
Day because he wanted to bring something for both his girls.
Once he proposed, our relationship took a sharp turn in
the worst ways and ultimately ended for starters. He was
an only child who came from a broken home. He
was a miracle baby, but his parents split when he
was young due to his dad abusing substances and booze. However,
(34:27):
his mom was still in love with the dad, but
left him to protect her son. Both parents remarried. Wow,
that's a crazy love triangle. Le squear SOEs his parents
and some relatives, mainly his mom, will be important to
the story. Let's come up with the names Olifer to
his mom as Karen Stocker, his dad is Mike, his
stepmom as Kristen, and his grandmom as Gail. For my family,
(34:52):
let's call my mom Lynn, my dad Alan, and sister
in law Kaylee. Now we are ready to get into
the story. Let's start at him propose. It was Mother's Day,
not kidding, and we decided that we wanted his parents
and grandmom to meet my family, and they had the
idea to do it on Mother's Day so we could
also celebrate all the moms in our life. We planned
(35:12):
to do it at my brother and sister in law's
house because they had the most space and offered. I
also hadn't met his grandmother yet, only his parents and stepparents.
We babysat and had my nephew spend the night with
us the night before and found out later because they
needed to set up the proposal without him destroying it.
So it was like a little hoodwink obbrowser. We showed
(35:35):
up the day of, and every car was there already,
and I panicked about being late, which I hate and
do not do. I was carrying my nephew in and
my mom quickly snatched him out of my arms before
walking through the door. I was confused until I looked
straight ahead. The doors were wide open, with a pathway
of lanterns leading up to an arch, where I saw
Hester standing and looking at me. I was in shock,
(35:59):
but gathered the curve to slowly walk to him. When
I was walking, I saw people, our families, sitting off
to the side watching as I made it up to him.
When I got there, he was shaking, a bit choked up,
and he literally couldn't get any words out except I
love you. Then dropped to his knee and said, will
you be my wife? That's cute. It's cute, But that's cute.
(36:22):
It's just this we're foreshadowing.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
It's cute. What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Just live in the cuteness, John, don't think about the title.
Just live in this moment. Be present with me.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
John, This is so cute. This is cute and nothing else.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Ah, I said, guess and realized the song See the
Light from Tangled, my favorite and instrumental was playing in
the background.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
It was perfect.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
I turned to see his mom, grandmom, dad and stepmom,
as well as my parents, sister and a law niece
and nephew, best friend, her daughter, my goddaughter, and her mom.
I was so excited and blindsided. After where we sat
and got a small gift for my parents, many congratulations
and they even gathered us and everyone else in a
circle for a toast. Karen, Mike, and Kristen spoke and
I believe my dad did too. After that was over,
(37:12):
Gail made a comment saying, Hester, I used to see
you all the time until you started dating her oh,
and looked at me. I quickly said, get him, because
I've been telling him I wanted to come meet you
and he needed to reach out to you to set
that up. That shut that down, thankfully, wow op thinking
(37:33):
on the feet yep. Then I insisted on celebrating the
engagement later because that day was about the moms. I
already had a plan and gifts for each mother there
that were extra spectral, and I already felt a little awkward, excited,
but so awkward that he decided to do it on
a day that was not supposed to be about us.
We hung out with the mom sharing stories and such,
and something shocking was said from Gail and Karen. They
(37:56):
were very weirdly expressing how Hester's hands were so soft
and they needed to stay that way. That's why he
wasn't allowed to cut grass at home, because the baby
has such soft hands and needs to keep them that way.
He can't be doing any hard labor like that weird
(38:18):
he's talking about. That's gross. I don't like how that sounds.
My sister in law, mom and I were shocked and
almost giggled because we thought she was kidding until Gail's
face changed showed she was one hundred percent serious.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
We couldn't believe it.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
I had major medical problems and was practically disabled at
the time, so I know they could not have expected
me to be cutting grassy, no, ma'am. Anyways, we moved
away from the conversation just continue to spend time celebrating
the mothers. After the party was over, I went back
with Hester to spend time with his mom some more alone.
We got back to her house and she was showing
(38:56):
me old pictures of Hester as a baby as much
as she was saying how cute he was and how
great he was slash is. She was also saying how
young and in love she and Mike were and how
she missed him. She remarried to someone else, but still
was fawning over her ex husband. She was still completely
(39:17):
in love with him. It was a bit sad. The
dad was happily remarried to Kristen and was now sober.
It really looked like she was regretting divorcing him. Skipped
to Later that night, Hester and I were alone again
and I asked him about the ring. The main diamond
was from his mother's engagement ring from his dad, who
they divorced. I felt that was bad luck, juji whatever.
(39:38):
So I got us and my mom to pray over
the ring and us that we wouldn't turn out the same.
Never never go through the recycling machine of old rings
and old wedding stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
It's not good. It's bad vibes. Yeah. Then I found
out he didn't pay a single penny towards the ring.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
His mom paid for the entire I told him if
he couldn't afford the ring, that was one thing. I'm
not a materialistic person, but mom had many family rings
that he could have used, and I preferred that and
if he really wanted to get slash a buy a ring,
don't get a real diamond, get a moistenite. It's cheaper
and better clarity. That's what I would have wanted. But
(40:19):
he ignored every part of that and did what he
and his mom wanted. She swayed him into using the
diamond and letting her.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Pay for it. She was controlling it and him soft
little hands. I think I see an icu. Oh, I
think an ice you.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
I mean, I think we're getting classic dynamic of the
mother in law is terrible and super controlling and the
boyfriend has no spine, and so he's just being puppeted,
doing whatever his mom, whatever mommy asks, and it completely
ruins the relationship because it's like, to his mom.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
What changed when they got engaged.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Now, when you're engaged, that's that's when mama gets in
the mix. Oh, this is official. Now let me go crazy.
Let's let's let's turn this Karen up to an eleven.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, okay, I think I think we're gonna get some
Karen puppeteering coming in. So that was only the beginning.
Two months after we got engaged, we were hanging out
talking like normal and then he said something that stopped
me in my tracks. He said, I regret proposing. Well,
tell me how you really feel. I was so thrown
(41:28):
off because I thought he loved me and were doing good,
but apparently not. I asked why, to please explain, and
he said he felt rush and trapped like I, like
he had to, like he didn't have a choice. I
was so confused because even when we had talked about
getting married, he was just as excited as I was,
saying how it wouldn't be long before making it official,
so it was definitely his choice. I started thinking about
(41:50):
his mom her mentioning how she wasn't ready for him
to leave the nest and how she thought neither of
them were ready. He also started getting really weird, telling
me tofferent things about him, like how he likes his
chicken cooked, what he will and won't eat, when he
likes to have is alone time, what detergent to use
for his laundry.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
How to separate it, how to fold it, and so
much more.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
John, what do we say, ladies and gentlemen, if a
man's mama is folding his laundry.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Run, send him back and run send him packing.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Dude, This has been This has been coming up again
and again and again.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Dude, the gold rules really so good. So just trying
to help so you don't have problems. But I'm not
adopting him and becoming his new mommy. I'm going to
be his wife, not his servants. Yes, we'd be a team.
That was until I saw him smiling. I wait until
we were alone again to explain, I'm not your mom,
(42:47):
nor will I ever be your mom. I am not
marrying you to become a servant.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Now.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Of course I will do things for you and take
care of you, but not in a motherly way doing
everything for you. We are a team. That's what we
agreed to previous. He acted as though he understood, but
looked sad. I was baffled by how entitled and childish
he was acting. I had no idea what I was
getting myself into. We started looking at wedding venues and
(43:12):
agreed on one that we absolutely loved. We went back
and brought his mom and she said, it's a bit far,
don't you think suddenly he didn't love the venue anymore?
If we wanted to use another venue we toured when
she came with us, and to see that she loved it.
It was more expensive for so much less, not even
a rehearsal dinner. The other venue was the exact same price,
(43:34):
but offered a lot more. Weddings are expensive, so that
was such a help. Plus the owners were so kind
and willing to help even more. The venue his mom
wanted had basically nothing for the same price, and it
was just not worth it to be closer. I finally
talked to her, explaining all of that and even showing
distances on the map, and she said, oh, I guess
it actually isn't that far. It just felt like such
(43:55):
a long drive in the car. I explained how my
dad took back roads so we could see the other
local thing as well. So she understood and agreed that
the better venue was the one we had originally picked.
That was a big riga. We're all just to get
back to where we started. Hume, well, guess what he
was back on board. All of a sudden, A month
(44:15):
goes by with some tension, and he says it again.
I regret proposing.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
My man is repeating, repeating the same mistakes.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Why is he trying to hurt me? Who says that
I couldn't understand why he was saying this, but then
I think it clicked. She was telling him he wasn't
ready and maybe even guilty him into living with her
next to her, or having her live with us.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
I'm not one.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Hundred percent sure what she said to him to this day,
but I know she did something. When I asked him
straight up, did Karen say something, he put.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
His head down and went silent.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
A little boy is Slowly I started realizing just what
I feared. He would not do anything other than what
his mom said or say she was mommy dessert. Oh God,
and that was not going to change. I suggested going
to a couple's therapy and individual therapy so that he could
(45:08):
break free and become an adult, his own person, without
her ruling everything he said and did. He didn't exactly
like the idea and asked for a bit to think
about it. Side note, an extra thing happened. A few
weeks into our engagement. We agreed we didn't believe in divorce.
We also agreed that signing a prenup was basically a
preparation for divorce, a just in case no. So if
(45:28):
we agreed we didn't believe in divorce, we had no
need for one, Ugh, we gonna ask for two month
three and a half of our engagement, and he asked
me to sign a pre nuptial agreement, which I think
is an okay thing to do, especially with as much
up and down as.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
You guys have.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I lost it. I was hurt, confused, and done. More
gas lighting and toxic behavior from him and his mom
had me at a breaking point. Nothing was going to change,
so I broke down and ended it.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
Hey, John, ogi host here, we're gonna get back to
this episode. But a quick three minute break of ads
from a sponsor's keeping the show alive really quick. There's
nothing wrong with a prenup, but a prenup combined with
everything else is what is wrong.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
Sam is pro prenup, ladies, I'm pro prenup dude. Yeah,
it ain't no chump. Yeah, it's the quote one of
your heroes. My here, I'm just getting turned back around
on me. Wait, wait, what what's going on? You could
easily quote one of his heroes, you know.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
That of his quotes, don't dang it? I like electrical vehicles.
Boom got him.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
So I broke down and ended it.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
I explained that I couldn't marry his mother, because marrying
him is marrying his mom. I couldn't be baited or
negotiating to doing something that we against my beliefs. I
wasn't going to tolerate the verbal and mental abuse anymore.
He did many other things I'd rather not say, but
I knew all I needed to understand what marriage with
him would have been. And after saying twice I regret proposing,
(47:13):
when I broke up with him, he tried to love
bomb me and hold me hostage in the moment so
that I couldn't break up with him. He said he
was basically showing up at my house and work because
he was not going to take no for an answer.
He was not losing me, And by the way, you
should never lose us by listening to our full episodes
of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
(47:34):
or your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, storytime, there's
another relevant update. But John, do you think Op is
making the right move and breaking up with his mom?
I mean, not his mom, him, absolutely without a doubt.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
I mean, it's just so insane. He says he regrets
posing to you twice. Well, where's the regret now? Congratulations?
I gave you what you want. You can now Yeah,
get rid of the regrets. Now you're coming back. Now
you're doing this. He's a spineless waffle, that man is.
(48:09):
He's waffling from this.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
It's floppy, yes, noodle spine no, fine, but let's get
into this final update. So he started out so sweet,
but boy was he the opposite. Love bombing, gas lining,
manipulation of you, stalking gets all real. Unfortunately it's common now.
But you do not have to tolerate that. You are
important and deserve to be treated as such. So am
(48:32):
I the a hole for not only canceling my wedding
but breaking up with my fiance John?
Speaker 1 (48:38):
What do you think? Not at all? Not at all,
But that is where that story in
Speaker 2 (48:44):
This episode and wow, So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe We Love You and see it tomorrow
This is intergalactic John. This is Alien Sam on the
International Okay Storytime podcast station.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And we have some human stories coming up, not alien.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
But before we make a landing, stick around for this
two minute not alien ad break before we get to
these interstellar stories.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I forbid my girlfriend to spread her dog's ashes on
our vacation.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
My girlfriend, twenty nine female, and I twenty eight male,
have been together for four months. She had a dog
that passed away a few months before we met.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Start off straw. That's tough, by the way.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
This comes from Overall Tomatoes six six sixty four, and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
our slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So I've only spent the
night at her place. I live with my sister and
her two kids, so it's a little chaotic at my place.
Girlfriend has a small two to three inch tall urn
on her bedside table with their dogs ashes.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
At some pretty decent signs. Before she turns off.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Her lamp to go to sleep, she always gives it
a little tap on the top and says good night,
as though she is talking to the dog.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I think it's weird, but I have never said anything.
Oh pee, I know where this is going. I know
where we're going.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I feel like we're going to a hoole territory. Very quick,
we're approaching it. We were supposed to go away for
the weekend and on Friday I was watching her pack
and notice she took the urn and put it in
the top pocket of her backpack. What do you think, John,
you're taking those urns with you to go?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
We're going on a hike. Man going on a hike.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I wanted to see the sunset, to go box sue
me to go box crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I asked what she was doing.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
She said she didn't want to leave the dog behind.
I told her she was not allowed to bring the
urn as it made me very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Get over it.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I didn't want to see it anytime we returned to
our hotel room. I didn't want her talk you're passed
away dog after we've had spicy sleep, I even before
we go to sleep. Ohoo, it's weird and frankly, she's
been mourning this.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Dog for too long.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Brother, dude, you just got you gotta have some pillow
talk and then some urned talk, some.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Dog talking night dog, My dog's at.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
She didn't argue. She simply started to unpack her bag.
She told me to have a fun. She told me
to have fun on the weekend getaway as she would
not be coming.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Uh. Oh, I sense a double on Tandra from that sentence.
Oh that you do yo?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I asked if she was seriously choosing a dog's ashes
over me, your four month old boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Whoa?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
She said, And this is a bar or, Ladies, take
notes if you're ever dumping a dude.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
She was too herself over me, as I could have
spoken to her with kindness and empathy but didn't. She
also said that I didn't get to dictate how long
she's allowed to grieve. Then she asked me to leave.
She hasn't replied to my text. I think she's overreacting.
My sister said she can see both of our sides.
Am I the a hole for thinking my girlfriend is
(03:20):
weird for being so attached to her passed away dogs ashes.
There isn't edit and there is oh bus updates. Oh wow,
Kobe is update. But Johnny Palmy, what do you think
of the story so far? Is opda hole?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
My brother in Christ has missed something completely and that
is the point.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
The point is that your girlfriend is mourning and and
and feels for the why try to control her?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Like why now? Now? Is it is it fair for
him to be like, yeah, you know she like talking
to dog. Stuff. Is like it's a little different. It's
a little different.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I mean morning and talking to a dog seven months
after it has passed away is definitely, you know, unusual.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
So I don't think it's not hurting anyone exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I don't think there's anything wrong again with him me
like just like clocking a like, oh yeah, that's a
little different.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
But the you cross the line when it's like you're trying.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
To control her and stuff like oh like don't don't
talk to dog and don't all these one why do
you want to control her?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
And two? Who cares?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
She's she's empathy. She's getting some sort of emotional relief
from doing.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, it's like if you only wanted to have spicy
sleep in a fireman's outfit.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
That's not hurting anyone.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It's weird, but I mean like spirement or sexy, like
get over it, but we have some edits. The hotel
was not refundable and only a three hour drive, so
I went on the trip without her and then too,
she started seeing psychologists around the same we started dating.
She hasn't told me any specifics, but she said the
(05:03):
trauma of suddenly losing her dog brought to the surface
other trauma in her past. This is why I think
she has been mourning for too long. She has still
attached to the dog even after seeing a professional on
a regular basis for several months. And unsurprisingly, Reddit as
even this person had a hole. We had comments in
(05:28):
an update, but I think I think we agree with it.
Let's get into the update. So we have a down
voted commenter saying, you aren't the a hole, and I
think it's really effing weird to travel with ashes. Dodged
a bullet in my opinion, You could have used nicer words, though,
and Opie responds, I don't think I dodged a bullet.
She is a wonderful woman. I just didn't want to
have a reminder of a passed away dog while we
(05:50):
were supposed to be having fun and relaxing time. And
another commenter says, he you're the a hole. You do
not get to tell her what she is allowed or
not allowed to do, period. Who cares that she carries
a little urn with her. I could understand if it's
the size of a lamp, but it can fit into
the palm of a hand. Saying good night to the
ashes is not a big big deal. I would be
(06:11):
more concerned if every time she said good night she
broke down in a sea of tears.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
But she doesn't.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
It's something that brings her comfort. My first dog as
an adult I had for fifteen years. I still talk
to his ashes sometimes. Okay, maybe it's not as unusual
as we thought. Hey, I love that I still have
a piece of my boy with me. Opie responding, she
only had the dog for a few years. I think
it was eight or nine when it passed. That's a
lot of years. It was diagnosed with cancer and passed
(06:36):
away a couple weeks later. And another comport says, you're
mad that she loved her dog that passed away of cancer.
Oh my god, Opie responds, And the point I was
trying to make it was that having the dog for
only a few years means she couldn't have been attached
as someone who lost their pet of ten plus years
and raised them. Since it was a puppy eight nine
(06:59):
years John, and did I right?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
We're talking at one to two year different was it
was the dog eight to nine years old.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I think she had it for a few years and
then it was eight to nine when it passed, So
I think she like adopted it maybe when it was
like three to four.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Brune needs to update his software because yeah, he's he's
just not getting it.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
You know, like parents that have a child die at
like three or four definitely aren't heartbroken.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Oh yeah, dude, Like, yeah, listen, it only had a
couple of years. Yeah, get over it.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Not to compare our fur babies to our actual babies.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, but also clip that gotdom.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Gottam comment to three, dang bud, It's obviously you're lacking
some emotions and or compassion. Nop response. Is it wrong
for me not to want to be reminded of a
passway dog while we're on a weekend get away and
comma to four. Honestly, your reaction and doubling down is
far more weird than taking the ashes. You are a
(07:57):
walking red flag. Your behavior shows you have a control issue.
You should probably start seeing a therapist yourself, and trust me,
you'll be going a lot longer than your now x.
I applaud her for choosing herself for happiness and her
peace over you. And if her responds, I'm not trying
to double down. I get that using the word oh
(08:17):
wow was wrong. That was my mistake. But maybe my
girlfriend should have told me that's why she was canceling
our trip and we could have had a discussion. Instead,
she decided to unpack and stay home. That seems like
an overreaction. And also I'm waiting for the drop of
it being ex girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Oh, that must be coming.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
So if that does not come at the end of
the story, I do not know what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, yeah, this is a little little and updates. We
have an update the next day. Whoa update. And I'm
sure this will make a lot of you happy. I
get it.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I'm the a.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I texted my girlfriend to say I'm sorry for how
I spoke to her and for dismissing her feelings.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
It was wrong.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I also said I would like to apologize in person,
and offered to bring over her favorite takeout. She said, quote,
all good. Did She's fine with it? She's so oh yeah,
she wants to get back together. We're back, We're back,
We're back to normal.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
All good, don't worry about an in person apology. I
gather the things you've left at my house. Let me
know when you would like to come pick them up. Ooh,
stone cold, don't work stone cold about an in person
Opie works, Opie's girlfriend works quick, dude ICs girlfriend true.
(09:50):
I'm hoping she will still hear me out when I
go to her place. And edit three. To those of
you dming me who think I'm not the a hole
but won't post a public comment due to the being downvoted,
please stop cowards.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
That is cowardly to know I was saying.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
My girlfriend is a lunatic, a sociopath, unhinged, a trauma dumper,
has endless emotional baggage, in need of a mental institution, etc.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Please stop too.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
While myself and others may not understand what she is
going through, that doesn't automatically make her mentally unstable. She
has a good heart and a good head on her shoulders.
Name calling is a necessary and borderline ruler than I was.
And this John is the final update.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
WHOA, I don't know what, I don't know where else
we have to go from here.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
The relationship is ended. It's gotta be something little nutty. Well,
let's see.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
So I shared this post with her, thinking it might
help her see that I was wrong and I'm owning up. See, Babe, bro,
I bet you those last.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Couple things were performative.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
He's like, I can use this internet clout to get
babe back.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Who's farming karma now?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Yad?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Dude? Ope?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
And maybe it would open the door to a discussion.
And that blew up in my face. I probably should
have deleted some of the questionable comments I made in
this thread. She texted to say, your things are now
in a garbage bag on the porch. Pick them up
sooner than later so they aren't stolen. Goodbye my name,
Please respect my wishes, and don't text me anymore. We
(11:24):
got some relevant comments. Commentary one says, not the a hole.
I understand that everyone grieves differently, but this is just KOOKI.
I've got a few pets pass away, and I agreeve
for one dog for several months, so I understand her
feelings and loss. If she brings the urn, the urn
breaks and the ashes fly all over the place, or
she loses it, will she have a psychotic break?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
That's a bit.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Much gott Commenters, what are you doing your cowards Yeah,
you coward.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Stand up and say it to my face.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Come on, guys, maybe she should have left the urn
at home with a bowl of water and some kivel. Response,
it is two inches to all again, Look at that's
two inches.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Now we know why he was mad. Yeah, that's two inches. Nice.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
It can only hold a few tablespoons at most. The
rest of the ashes are kept in a scatterbox. At
the small one broke, she would still have the majority
of the ashes. She has backup ashes. Oh his girlfriend
take the urn everywhere with her? Ope response. She doesn't
take them anywhere outside her place, which is why I
(12:35):
thought it was weird that she wanted to bring them
on our trip. As others had pointed out, she probably
just wanted to continue her bedtime routine of saying good night.
I would ask her, but I've decided to give her
some space and comment or two says. Imagine competing with
a literal passed away dog. You're the a hole. Oh true,
you are the a hole?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Oh pie response I'm not trying to compete with the dog.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I just don't know of anyone else who talks to
the ashes of their passaway dog.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Chounter three.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Your ex girlfriend is awesome, which she kind of it.
That is like, yeah, too bad. You simply couldn't grasp
it before screwing it up. I hope you learned a lesson,
and hope he responds in all honesty, the only thing
I've learned is to keep my mouth shut when I'm uncomfortable,
as I still don't fully understand why she can't be
away for a night with her dog. Again, it's not
(13:25):
that she can't be away, she just doesn't want you
controlling how she grieves. She doesn't want you controlling, Like
it's like it's like something that doesn't matter. Maybe it
doesn't matter. Yes, it might be a little unusual, but again,
like how is this? I don't want to understand why
this is weirdly affecting you.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
And it's like I don't know. It's like so it's
like cute, it's sweet, and it's cute. It's cute. Yeah,
we'll quirk, we'll quirk. She's a quirky girl. Coundra four.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
That's because you are not a kind and understanding person.
I'm glad she left you, and OPI responds, she's been
on international trips for weeks without her dog.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
It was alive. How is this any difference?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
And did OPI have pets in the past, Opie responds, No,
my parents never allowed it. It was never something I
had an interest in doing when I became an adult.
I'm not anti pet. I just have no experience to
draw from. And yeah, OPI was down voted to oblivion.
We have another updates. Oh two days later. Oh, don't
(14:23):
don't tell me. He goes back, like so, OPI doesn't
understand when to give up. I am very fearful he
is taking this. I'm not going to give up energy
back to ex's doorstep. I hope she blocks him. I
hope she blocks.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
We need we need a physical block. Yeah, yeah, like.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Just like maybe like a bunch of two inch cattagger
and she's like, oh, I can't get next to them. Oki,
it's weird. Updates for those of you who asked, this
is the urn. By the way, you can listen to
full episodes of this story and other stories.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Just like it.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Just go to the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, or your
favorite podcast app and search. Okay, story time he puts
in a little box in your ear holes or an
urn all.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Day every night.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Some more relevant comments that Opie responded to. So commenter one,
the ashes are still the dog emotionally, that's why she's
choosing to bring them for comfort, and OPI responds, I
get that now. I was merely trying to explain why
I thought our fun weekend plan ranked higher than an urn.
I never said I was more important than her dog,
just the remains. If I had taken the time to
ask her about it instead of speaking to her like
(15:37):
a child, maybe things would have played out differently than
they did. In Commenter two responds, you should have learned
this lesson to approach people with kindness and empathy if
he told you what was needed, and OPI responds, I
didn't realize it was still a touchy subject for her,
certainly not something to break up over. Commenter three, you've
only been together four months. You shouldn't be so attached
(15:57):
to someone you've had in your life for so time.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah, it comes full circle.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
You have an unhealthy attachment to your ex girlfriend and
you should talk to someone about it. It's not good
for you or anyone. It's not healthy in Opie response, so,
I'm not allowed to be attached for four months, but
it's okay that my ex girlfriend became attached to a
dog in the same amount of time.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Look at this, this is the point.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Uh who wre we go? Huh, well, I think you
just missed it. You just missed the point. H and
that's where it ends. That's where it ends.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Dye Riley has the picture of the earned relationship.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Here we go. Oh, that's the end of that story.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
But we got some more stories coming up for you
right now.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Let's go.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I just found out my fiance is settling for me
right before her wedding.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Not the moment that you want to know that your
wife is settling. Editor's note.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
One modern method to serve for a partner in an
arranged marriage market is through WhatsApp. Matchmakers know yanti's community
elders that run these small groups where people of that
community slash ethnicity can join through fee slash recommendations. They
share profiles of people that are single and people can
take it forward to set up dates. By the way,
this comes from throway fan on seven two four to
(17:20):
six seven. And if you want to spend your own story,
go to the our slash okay story time separate.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I twenty five female had a crush on my fiance
ever since.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
We were six years old.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I would ask him out through friends ever so often
until I turned fifteen years old. Everyone around us, including him,
knew that I had a huge crush on him, and
the fact that he never really said no.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
He would always either.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Just respond with I know she has a crush on me,
him never giving a clear answer just fueled my delusion.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I know it wasn't his fault. I was just being crazy.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I never really got much attention from guys except a few,
whereas he got tons and tons of attention from girls.
Until uh oh, the time I turned twenty three and
he turned twenty four years old, I hadn't had any boyfriend,
whereas he had had been in around thirteen relationships that
I know of.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Whoa, thirteen is a normal amount, but he was putting
numbers on the board. Thirteen is is a lot? Thirteen
don whoa? I have not had that many. Thirteen's crazy? Yeah, yeah,
twelve relationships, yeah, twelve, twelve is reasonable, really comfortable number?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Now, uh some might have been more serious than others
these relationships. But yes, it was two years back when
we met again in a different city where we were
both working, and we started hanging out together. As he
didn't really know anyone else in that city. I hope
he was the only option.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Oh god, so one falling into my plan.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Well, one thing led to another and we started dating.
Over time, we got quite serious. Then just a week
back he proposed to me and I said, yes, Wow,
kind of worked fairy tale ending, Opie cornered this man
in the market. This is all gonna work out perfectly,
And nothing in the title will ruin what's about to know?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Not at all?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Nothing except yesterday while at our engagement party, I was
in the washroom from where I could hear the conversation
outside in the parking era.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
No, I just remember the title. I know, I just
remember the title. Oh no, blocking jeez.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
So I was in the washroom where I could hear
the conversation outside in the parking area because there was
a window in the washroom. I overheard a few of
his friends discussing how my fiance is just settling for me,
as I worship him and do whatever he would ask.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Okay, but at least it's not the fiance saying that.
But it's that's a win. I guess well, I thought.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I think what's happening here is I overheard a few
of his friends discussing, how am I okay? So it is,
as far as we know, the friends just making this comment.
Not I thought it was maybe like which still sucks,
but could be worse, could be worse. That's that's true.
Maybe maybe they're just terrible friends and fiance's.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Incredible, exactly exactly. The apple fell very far from the tree,
oh apple bottom.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Please, Now, this is making me rethink our entire relationship,
as I've always internally felt as if he wasn't really
in the relationship as much as I was because of
little things like he wouldn't hold my hand on the sidewalk,
or he would just respond to my I love.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
You with thank you, and you got married. You're not
married yet.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
You're about to get get married, and he won't hold
your hand. This man probably a little embarrassed to be
seen with you.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Dude, I love you and thank you? Wow?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Oh why how did you get this far?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah? I mean is this the case of this is
literally someone that Opie's been pining for since they were children,
and so she's like, I finally got it. The rose
tinted glasses has been bacon since child it's deep red.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
See, I feel like the not from any fault of
maybe I mean, well maybe fault, but like there's definitely
ah interest in balance here, quite sure.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Even the proposal. I had told him that I wanted
to get married by twenty six. I wonder whether he
actually wanted to marry me or it was just me pressuring.
He is a conventionally attractive guy, whereas I am slightly
blow average and I don't even have the personality to
make up for it. I really love him, but I
don't think he loves me the same. Ever since yesterday,
(21:58):
everything has been dumb. I have no idea what to
think or even do. I don't know what to do.
We have an update three days later.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Well it feels like right now she kind of already
knows he's not as into her as uh she is
into him, yes, but maybe she's okay with that. Also,
Like in terms of the fiance, hasn't said anything directly.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
No actual word from the fiance. Yeah, except thank you.
Those are the only two words.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
He's not holding our hand, He's not he's not he's
not talking to us. He's just responding with thank you
when I mean that that's a little bit of a
smoking cop.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
You know, Yeah, I love you. Thank you is crazy?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I it doesn't. It doesn't feel like a balanced relationship.
I don't know if that's I don't know if this
is the one.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Op. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
My ICU before this update is that I think of
Ope will eventually get there, but I think it's gonna
take her some time. I am or to fully sink
in about the imbalance, that this might not.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Be the might be the one.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well three days later. Uh So, firstly, I'd like to
thank you all for your advice. Today after posting this,
I met up with Beyonce. On meeting him, I told
him how I have been feeling and did not mention
the fact that I overheard his friends. On hearing that,
he became emotional. He admitted to not being attracted to
(23:28):
me physically, but liking me as a person. Usually when
you say, but it's something that will help make the
situation like, I.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Mean, that's that's something, dude.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
That's that's what you say to like your acquaintances like
a person, like like you have your friends and then
people you like his people also, can.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
We point out he's the one that propaul oozed why
are you well?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
But maybe maybe he doesn't care about being attracted to her.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Is this is this a life partnership?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Well, maybe it's yeah, Maybe it's yeah. Maybe it's a
life partnership thing. And he's like, dude, like we're gonna
be so old and so gray, I'm not gonna be
able to get it up. But you know, like I'm
just focusing on you as a person, not like trying
to jump your bones all the time. Wow, maybe he's
thinking like that.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
So uh it honestly did hurt, as in my head
I was expecting him to say something along the lines
of him loving me no matter what the other's thoughts,
he still wants to marry me and I still love him.
He has promised to try harder and be more present
in the relationship. He really has been trying these past
(24:50):
few days. He texts me every single day and also
reciprocates my I love yous.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Keyword trying. I just don't. I just don't think that.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
You like. Asking him to say I love you and
respond to your texts is a signal that this is
going to be a great relationship moving forward. He might
be able to keep this up for a little bit,
but like, you're only going to really be able to
keep this up for a lifetime if you you're like,
if you're into it, you know, if you're into it.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
I told my mother and grandmother about everything that has
been happening, to which their response was more on the
lines of I should be grateful that someone like him
is going for someone like me, and once we get married,
he will change over time, Mom and.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Grandma, who's side somewhere like him is marrying someone like me.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Street rat riff rev, I don't buy that.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Whatever the Aladdin thing, oh yeah, it's just the my heart,
the ugly streeter erinchin marrying the prince.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
I feel like that's the setup that they're buying about
to hop on a flying carpet. Yeah, talk to a
freaking bird.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
So now this has put me in a tougher position,
But honestly speaking, I think I will just go ahead
with the wedding as the other option is arranged marriage
and I'm not really keen on that, and he's really
started putting in the effort. I do believe that he
will actually fall for me gradually. Overall, the commenters felt
(26:34):
and we have another update three weeks later.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Oh man, after the wedding. There's no way they're still together.
There's no way. There's no way the wedding could have
already happened at this point. Could they could be married?
They could be married. I'm guessing they take a step back.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Well, if he says I've attached on my earlier posts, hello,
a lot has happened. It's my last update. I've been
in two minds ever since that day. After posting that update,
and I received a flood of negative responses, and I
had a moment of realization that I had been avoiding.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Yes, realization, here we go. Good in there.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
So I decided to have another conversation with him, one
final talk where I laid out everything bare. I told
him exactly how I felt, and I admitted the truth
that I had known deep down but had been too
afraid to voice, that he didn't really love me.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
He neither confirmed nor denied, just state silent. After that,
I ended it.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I called off the engagement and handed the ring back
to him. He didn't fight me on it, didn't argue,
didn't try to change my mind. He just sat there
silent and only said, look.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
That was it.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
No grand declarations, no desperate attempts to stop me, just okay,
And that, more than anything, solidified my decision. If he
had truly loved me, wouldn't he have said something, wouldn't
he have at least tried. But two days after that conversation,
he showed up at my place and started begging me
to take him back. He began showing up at my
place every other day with flowers and sending gifts. It's
(28:12):
been two weeks of this now, and I don't know
what to make of it. I wish I could say
I was immune to it, that I was standing strong,
But the truth is still love him, and after seeing
him actually trying something I had wanted for so long
as me melting, I haven't yet taken him back, but
I am so very close to doing so.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
I don't think it's a good idea teetering off the
edge here.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
The other day he.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Even showed up at my parents' place, asking them to
convince me. They already were not in favor of my
decision to break off the engagement. Him trying just fueled
them even more. There's constant pressure of taking him back
through them. They see my decision to leave him as
something illogical. By the way, if you want to make
(29:00):
the most logical decision of your life, then enjoy two
thousand episodes of stories just like this, full freaking episodes.
Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, your favorite pot app search. Okay, storytime, Boom,
They're all right through it. Do it right now?
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Do it?
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Hey and Sam, we're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
But Sam, we do we do actually have a sizable
chunk level in the story? Yeah, do we think that
she's going to take him back?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
We're teetering right on the edge.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I want to believe that op is going to make
the right decision for her future happiness, which would be
to not be with this person. That Yeah, it seems
he's doing it. He's doing an emotional sprint right now. Right,
He's like, he's like, yeah, let me show her how
good I am he's doing. He's love bombing. He's love bombing,
and and that bomb will not last long. This is
(29:55):
not a slow stoked fire that will will last the whole.
This is an instant and then it's cold. It's cold
in that relationship after.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
That, Usain bolt, He's got to take a rest sometime. Yep.
He can't run forever. No, it can't. Well.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Ope, he goes on to say, I honestly don't know
what to believe, and I'm just scared that once I
take him back, they'll go back.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
To his old ways. Yep. Mark.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
Plus, my mother has joined some matrimonial WhatsApp groups and
keeps sending me pictures of guys, urging me to meet
up with them.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
I think she just.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Wants me married off to whom doesn't matter as I'm
the only child. Both of them don't have anyone else
to focus on. I do not know what to do anymore,
not that I was ever clear about it in the
first place. There's just constant pressure through my parents and
relatives to get married, and it has really started to
affect me. And there's a relevant comment who East Time
(30:50):
one fifty says, don't go back. Finally, first story I've
read on Reddit where someone took self respect more importantly,
don't reverse it.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Please.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
It's not like he starts finding you attractive in two days. Bro,
Come on, don't take him back. Lexibat says it, girl,
you did good, and the reality is that once you
take him back, he's gonna go back to his old ways.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Yeah, that's what I think too.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
He's just in the immediate shock of the breakup and
nothing more. Once it passes, he's going to feel relieved.
Believe me, if you take him back, his old doubts
are going to creep up, and he'll spend the rest
of your life trying to convince him that you're good
enough for him. You'll spend the rest of your life
doubting yourself and your worth. He is going to erode
your confidence and self steam away. Oh stay strong and
(31:37):
let this pass. Give it time and stand your ground.
God Zillages says, let's put some respect to say it twice. Golly,
kudos to you for having self respect and making a
decision to end what you thought was settling for quote.
On the other hand, I wonder why he settled for
you if he had so much female attention. Maybe he
sees something in you that he just hasn't found somewhere else.
(31:57):
Physical attraction is necessary, but at the same time, I'm
slightly overrated. The shine of a beautiful woman or a
handsome man wears off quickly when you get down to
business of living your daily lives together, raising kids, supporting families,
et cetera. Suggest talking to him to figure out why
he wants you. You're not bound by anything, and you've
already broken the engagement. It costs you nothing to figure
(32:18):
out whether it's worth salvaging.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Good luck. We'll just quickly say, well, I am curious.
I'm curious.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
I don't know if the curiosity is worth it, especially
given how teetering on the edge op is.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
I think the curiosity is worth it because then we
would get another update of this story, which I'm very
curious on. But for your own health, happiness, well being,
probably not worth it. Yes, yes, and that is Unfortunately
my mom's fiance is a nightmare. I don't think I
can go through with the wedding wake up.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
This story takes place over two years ago at a
funny idea to name this post of problems with mommy dearest,
but changed my mind because it wasn't only about his mother.
It was very much about him, and mainly him. By
the way, this comes from Fun Size WEIRDO twenty seven
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to our slash Okay story time. So I wrote it,
(33:18):
So I twenty four female at the time, was twenty two.
Got engaged to a guy I was friends with for
four years after dating him for four months. Let's call
him Hester. He was twenty three male at the time.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
What a name.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
I was actually really close to him. Like I said,
we were friends for four years. After being friends for
so long, I ended up single and he decided to
shoot his shot. I was excited because no one had
really pursued me before. I pursued my exes first, and
he was so sweet and funny, and I love spending
time with him. He seems so genuine. Then I started
(33:54):
dating him. Here we go, Here we go, And for
all of the four months it was great.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Mostly.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Oh he even bought my dog Valentine's treats on Valentine's
Day because he wanted to bring something for both his girls.
Once he proposed, our relationship took a sharp turn in
the worst ways and ultimately ended for starters. He was
an only child who came from a broken home. He
was a miracle baby, but his parents split when he
was young due to his dad abusing substances and booze. However,
(34:27):
his mom was still in love with the dad, but
left him to protect her son. Both parents remarried. Wow,
that's a crazy love triangle. Le squear SOEs his parents
and some relatives, mainly his mom, will be important to
the story. Let's come up with the names Olifer to
his mom as Karen Stocker, his dad is Mike, his
stepmom as Kristen, and his grandmom as Gail. For my family,
(34:52):
let's call my mom Lynn, my dad Alan, and sister
in law Kaylee. Now we are ready to get into
the story. Let's start at him propose. It was Mother's Day,
not kidding, and we decided that we wanted his parents
and grandmom to meet my family, and they had the
idea to do it on Mother's Day so we could
also celebrate all the moms in our life. We planned
(35:12):
to do it at my brother and sister in law's
house because they had the most space and offered. I
also hadn't met his grandmother yet, only his parents and stepparents.
We babysat and had my nephew spend the night with
us the night before and found out later because they
needed to set up the proposal without him destroying it.
So it was like a little hoodwink obbrowser. We showed
(35:35):
up the day of, and every car was there already,
and I panicked about being late, which I hate and
do not do. I was carrying my nephew in and
my mom quickly snatched him out of my arms before
walking through the door. I was confused until I looked
straight ahead. The doors were wide open, with a pathway
of lanterns leading up to an arch, where I saw
Hester standing and looking at me. I was in shock,
(35:59):
but gathered the curve to slowly walk to him. When
I was walking, I saw people, our families, sitting off
to the side watching as I made it up to him.
When I got there, he was shaking, a bit choked up,
and he literally couldn't get any words out except I
love you. Then dropped to his knee and said, will
you be my wife? That's cute. It's cute, But that's cute.
(36:22):
It's just this we're foreshadowing.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
It's cute. What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Just live in the cuteness, John, don't think about the title.
Just live in this moment. Be present with me.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
John, This is so cute. This is cute and nothing else.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Ah, I said, guess and realized the song See the
Light from Tangled, my favorite and instrumental was playing in
the background.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
It was perfect.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
I turned to see his mom, grandmom, dad and stepmom,
as well as my parents, sister and a law niece
and nephew, best friend, her daughter, my goddaughter, and her mom.
I was so excited and blindsided. After where we sat
and got a small gift for my parents, many congratulations
and they even gathered us and everyone else in a
circle for a toast. Karen, Mike, and Kristen spoke and
I believe my dad did too. After that was over,
(37:12):
Gail made a comment saying, Hester, I used to see
you all the time until you started dating her oh,
and looked at me. I quickly said, get him, because
I've been telling him I wanted to come meet you
and he needed to reach out to you to set
that up. That shut that down, thankfully, wow op thinking
(37:33):
on the feet yep. Then I insisted on celebrating the
engagement later because that day was about the moms. I
already had a plan and gifts for each mother there
that were extra spectral, and I already felt a little awkward, excited,
but so awkward that he decided to do it on
a day that was not supposed to be about us.
We hung out with the mom sharing stories and such,
and something shocking was said from Gail and Karen. They
(37:56):
were very weirdly expressing how Hester's hands were so soft
and they needed to stay that way. That's why he
wasn't allowed to cut grass at home, because the baby
has such soft hands and needs to keep them that way.
He can't be doing any hard labor like that weird
(38:18):
he's talking about. That's gross. I don't like how that sounds.
My sister in law, mom and I were shocked and
almost giggled because we thought she was kidding until Gail's
face changed showed she was one hundred percent serious.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
We couldn't believe it.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
I had major medical problems and was practically disabled at
the time, so I know they could not have expected
me to be cutting grassy, no, ma'am. Anyways, we moved
away from the conversation just continue to spend time celebrating
the mothers. After the party was over, I went back
with Hester to spend time with his mom some more alone.
We got back to her house and she was showing
(38:56):
me old pictures of Hester as a baby as much
as she was saying how cute he was and how
great he was slash is. She was also saying how
young and in love she and Mike were and how
she missed him. She remarried to someone else, but still
was fawning over her ex husband. She was still completely
(39:17):
in love with him. It was a bit sad. The
dad was happily remarried to Kristen and was now sober.
It really looked like she was regretting divorcing him. Skipped
to Later that night, Hester and I were alone again
and I asked him about the ring. The main diamond
was from his mother's engagement ring from his dad, who
they divorced. I felt that was bad luck, juji whatever.
(39:38):
So I got us and my mom to pray over
the ring and us that we wouldn't turn out the same.
Never never go through the recycling machine of old rings
and old wedding stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
It's not good. It's bad vibes. Yeah. Then I found
out he didn't pay a single penny towards the ring.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
His mom paid for the entire I told him if
he couldn't afford the ring, that was one thing. I'm
not a materialistic person, but mom had many family rings
that he could have used, and I preferred that and
if he really wanted to get slash a buy a ring,
don't get a real diamond, get a moistenite. It's cheaper
and better clarity. That's what I would have wanted. But
(40:19):
he ignored every part of that and did what he
and his mom wanted. She swayed him into using the
diamond and letting her.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Pay for it. She was controlling it and him soft
little hands. I think I see an icu. Oh, I
think an ice you.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
I mean, I think we're getting classic dynamic of the
mother in law is terrible and super controlling and the
boyfriend has no spine, and so he's just being puppeted,
doing whatever his mom, whatever mommy asks, and it completely
ruins the relationship because it's like, to his mom.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
What changed when they got engaged.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Now, when you're engaged, that's that's when mama gets in
the mix. Oh, this is official. Now let me go crazy.
Let's let's let's turn this Karen up to an eleven.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, okay, I think I think we're gonna get some
Karen puppeteering coming in. So that was only the beginning.
Two months after we got engaged, we were hanging out
talking like normal and then he said something that stopped
me in my tracks. He said, I regret proposing. Well,
tell me how you really feel. I was so thrown
(41:28):
off because I thought he loved me and were doing good,
but apparently not. I asked why, to please explain, and
he said he felt rush and trapped like I, like
he had to, like he didn't have a choice. I
was so confused because even when we had talked about
getting married, he was just as excited as I was,
saying how it wouldn't be long before making it official,
so it was definitely his choice. I started thinking about
(41:50):
his mom her mentioning how she wasn't ready for him
to leave the nest and how she thought neither of
them were ready. He also started getting really weird, telling
me tofferent things about him, like how he likes his
chicken cooked, what he will and won't eat, when he
likes to have is alone time, what detergent to use
for his laundry.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
How to separate it, how to fold it, and so
much more.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
John, what do we say, ladies and gentlemen, if a
man's mama is folding his laundry.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Run, send him back and run send him packing.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Dude, This has been This has been coming up again
and again and again.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Dude, the gold rules really so good. So just trying
to help so you don't have problems. But I'm not
adopting him and becoming his new mommy. I'm going to
be his wife, not his servants. Yes, we'd be a team.
That was until I saw him smiling. I wait until
we were alone again to explain, I'm not your mom,
(42:47):
nor will I ever be your mom. I am not
marrying you to become a servant.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Now.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Of course I will do things for you and take
care of you, but not in a motherly way doing
everything for you. We are a team. That's what we
agreed to previous. He acted as though he understood, but
looked sad. I was baffled by how entitled and childish
he was acting. I had no idea what I was
getting myself into. We started looking at wedding venues and
(43:12):
agreed on one that we absolutely loved. We went back
and brought his mom and she said, it's a bit far,
don't you think suddenly he didn't love the venue anymore?
If we wanted to use another venue we toured when
she came with us, and to see that she loved it.
It was more expensive for so much less, not even
a rehearsal dinner. The other venue was the exact same price,
(43:34):
but offered a lot more. Weddings are expensive, so that
was such a help. Plus the owners were so kind
and willing to help even more. The venue his mom
wanted had basically nothing for the same price, and it
was just not worth it to be closer. I finally
talked to her, explaining all of that and even showing
distances on the map, and she said, oh, I guess
it actually isn't that far. It just felt like such
(43:55):
a long drive in the car. I explained how my
dad took back roads so we could see the other
local thing as well. So she understood and agreed that
the better venue was the one we had originally picked.
That was a big riga. We're all just to get
back to where we started. Hume, well, guess what he
was back on board. All of a sudden, A month
(44:15):
goes by with some tension, and he says it again.
I regret proposing.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
My man is repeating, repeating the same mistakes.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Why is he trying to hurt me? Who says that
I couldn't understand why he was saying this, but then
I think it clicked. She was telling him he wasn't
ready and maybe even guilty him into living with her
next to her, or having her live with us.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
I'm not one.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Hundred percent sure what she said to him to this day,
but I know she did something. When I asked him
straight up, did Karen say something, he put.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
His head down and went silent.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
A little boy is Slowly I started realizing just what
I feared. He would not do anything other than what
his mom said or say she was mommy dessert. Oh God,
and that was not going to change. I suggested going
to a couple's therapy and individual therapy so that he could
(45:08):
break free and become an adult, his own person, without
her ruling everything he said and did. He didn't exactly
like the idea and asked for a bit to think
about it. Side note, an extra thing happened. A few
weeks into our engagement. We agreed we didn't believe in divorce.
We also agreed that signing a prenup was basically a
preparation for divorce, a just in case no. So if
(45:28):
we agreed we didn't believe in divorce, we had no
need for one, Ugh, we gonna ask for two month
three and a half of our engagement, and he asked
me to sign a pre nuptial agreement, which I think
is an okay thing to do, especially with as much
up and down as.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
You guys have.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I lost it. I was hurt, confused, and done. More
gas lighting and toxic behavior from him and his mom
had me at a breaking point. Nothing was going to change,
so I broke down and ended it.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
Hey, John, ogi host here, we're gonna get back to
this episode. But a quick three minute break of ads
from a sponsor's keeping the show alive really quick. There's
nothing wrong with a prenup, but a prenup combined with
everything else is what is wrong.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
Sam is pro prenup, ladies, I'm pro prenup dude. Yeah,
it ain't no chump. Yeah, it's the quote one of
your heroes. My here, I'm just getting turned back around
on me. Wait, wait, what what's going on? You could
easily quote one of his heroes, you know.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
That of his quotes, don't dang it? I like electrical vehicles.
Boom got him.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
So I broke down and ended it.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
I explained that I couldn't marry his mother, because marrying
him is marrying his mom. I couldn't be baited or
negotiating to doing something that we against my beliefs. I
wasn't going to tolerate the verbal and mental abuse anymore.
He did many other things I'd rather not say, but
I knew all I needed to understand what marriage with
him would have been. And after saying twice I regret proposing,
(47:13):
when I broke up with him, he tried to love
bomb me and hold me hostage in the moment so
that I couldn't break up with him. He said he
was basically showing up at my house and work because
he was not going to take no for an answer.
He was not losing me, And by the way, you
should never lose us by listening to our full episodes
of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
(47:34):
or your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, storytime, there's
another relevant update. But John, do you think Op is
making the right move and breaking up with his mom?
I mean, not his mom, him, absolutely without a doubt.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
I mean, it's just so insane. He says he regrets
posing to you twice. Well, where's the regret now? Congratulations?
I gave you what you want. You can now Yeah,
get rid of the regrets. Now you're coming back. Now
you're doing this. He's a spineless waffle, that man is.
(48:09):
He's waffling from this.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
It's floppy, yes, noodle spine no, fine, but let's get
into this final update. So he started out so sweet,
but boy was he the opposite. Love bombing, gas lining,
manipulation of you, stalking gets all real. Unfortunately it's common now.
But you do not have to tolerate that. You are
important and deserve to be treated as such. So am
(48:32):
I the a hole for not only canceling my wedding
but breaking up with my fiance John?
Speaker 1 (48:38):
What do you think? Not at all? Not at all,
But that is where that story in
Speaker 2 (48:44):
This episode and wow, So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe We Love You and see it tomorrow
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com