I FORBID my husband to be at my birth… he prioritizes his mother over me! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:16):
I forbid my husband to be at my birth. He
prioritizes his mother over me.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
WHOA what he shouldn't. He doesn't deserve to be there
if he doesn't want to.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
I just love that this reads like she's talking about
her own birth.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Oh yeah, she was born.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
I am due to give birth to my second child
any day now. I'm a little worried that all my
emotions from today may send me into labor. Not ideal
my partner. I use that word loosely because I'm not
really sure if I want him to be that has
a self absorbed and harmful mother. By the way, this
comes from a user Nice Outcome twenty two thirty seven,

(00:58):
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
the r slash.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Okay, Storytime subpured it. So. She is a vile woman.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
She tormented me during my first pregnancy and postpartum. My
partner cut her off then, and for the most part,
I had peace. She has slowly been worming her way
back into our lives. Though I never hated her until
she made me feel like I was less than a
human fair My partner is overly defensive about her, partially

(01:26):
because he is in denial about the emotional abuse and
neglect he experienced growing up. She is the cause of
a lot of our disagreements. I just found out that
my partner has been deliberately withholding information from me. One
of the major factors that led me to resenting his
mother was the fact that she turned up at the
hospital after I had given birth. She made her way

(01:47):
to my ward and into my room, knowing it was
against my wishes to have any visitors. She had argued
with me about it for months. It turns out he
knew she was coming. No Ah, he knew and didn't
say anything. He told me less than an hour ago.
I am so hurt by him. I feel betrayed. My

(02:09):
family were incredibly angry with me because they thought I
prioritized my in laws over them. They had been told
I didn't want visitors and were happy to respect my wishes.
I don't blame them for feeling slighted. He prioritized his
mother over my wishes over my needs. He let my
family blame me and said nothing for over two years,

(02:30):
knowing he could have prevented it. Wait a minute, he
let my family blame me and said nothing for over
two years. Did you say nothing to your family?

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yeah? I feel like you could easily explain to me, like, hey,
I didn't want this. I was not choosing to have
her there.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Everyone just needs as calm down here, except for op right.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
No, that's yeah, hmm.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
I've told him she cannot come to the birth of
our second, and that my first born and I will
be leaving once I can pack the things up. I
have told him he cannot come to the birth of
our second, and that my first born and I will
be leaving once I can pack the things up. She
his mom, told me that she did not care about
my wishes. She told me how her happiness mattered more

(03:15):
than mine. She told me that my stance was ridiculous
and that she.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Needs to be there to meet her baby.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
She told me that wanting space to adjust was unnecessary
and told me that I was being delusional to think
I could keep her away. He knew about all of this.
He knew, and he still gave her what she wanted.
He knew about this and lied to me. I cannot
trust him to be at the hospital with me. I
do not want to see his face as I'm having
my surgery. I don't have anyone else, but I'd rather

(03:44):
be alone than be with him. Does this make me
the ale? I feel awful for even wanting to do this.
This has devastated me, and there is an edit to
add all the stuff she said was when I was
pregnant with my first child, had antenatal anxiety, and she
used this against me. She would trigger attacks and then

(04:05):
call me mental in order to get him on her side.
He was not sure what to believe and cut her
off because he didn't think I was lying. She works
at the hospital where I had my baby as a doctor.
I did tell the staff about the no visitors rule,
but she can bypass it with her access card. Which
is that's gotta be super illegal.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
It's gotta be breaking some kind of dude.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
This woman thinks she's bulletproof.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
A report to Hippo and afromedical license revoked for broaching
like patient laws.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
It was crazy.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
I'm not sure if he kept quiet to avoid a
scene in front of colleagues.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
He also works there.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Dude.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
Okay, so not.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Only has this guy been abused by his mother his
entire life, but he also is a coworker at the
hospital she's a doctor at so it's inescapable for him,
this poor guy.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Do we know for sure that he has been abused.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
The beginning, there was that at the beginning. I miss that,
you know.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, man, she's an arcissistic combuser.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
And if she's a doctor, then she definitely has like
an authority over these nurses.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Of course, so I'm talking about hierarchy in a hospital.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
Doctor's pretty high up.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
And if she's the type of person to bypass this
this patient's request just because she's a doctor, then she's
definitely the one too. I'm assuming, you know, assert herself
over others and be a little power hungry.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, yeah, pull rank a bit.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
The way this is reading right now, I'm seeing you
and your partner are both victims of her.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
The fact they argued made me think he didn't know
and she did it because he went low contact. I
cannot change hospitals because I'm high risk and under the
care of specific doctors. My plan has been created and
I have to stick to it, and there's a second
edit for those requesting I report her for accessing my records.
It has already been reported and is being investigated. Good

(06:00):
of reporting her accessing my room. I'll speak with the
hospital in the morning, and there are some comments here.
Come in number one, not the a hole. Just tell
the labor and delivery crew you don't want anyone there.
They'll keep them out. Opie replies, I told the staff
the first time she works at the hospital. That's how
she got access for my first pregnancy.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Reply.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
I bet dollars to donuts she's accessed your records, which
is a major hip of viholation. You can get her
fired immediately. Ask medical records to see who's accessed your
records and tell them mother in law had no authorization.
Hopefully that may put her job in jeopardy or even
get her fired. No more access to you, op said.
I asked them to check because my private medical correspondent

(06:42):
somehow kept getting changed to my in law's home address.
I never gave the hospital that address. That's insane. Wait
what her mother in law changed the information in her
records so that her medical information would be sent to
her house.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Instead of Ops.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
That feels like it's breaking so many laws.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah, this woman should never be able to practice as
a doctor again, dude, that is insane, unbelievable. Wow, reply,
have your name protected in the system. They have ways
of coding you so that no one can admit you
are there. I would also consider sending a letter to
the hospital asking them to protect your medical chart and

(07:26):
name your mother in law. Tell them she used her
access in the past to get your information, and ask
them to deny her access to it now.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
It should trigger a review of your medical records for
hip A violations.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
I guarantee you a woman this willing to press boundaries
has been all over your medical info in violation of
the law.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
OP says.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
The thing is the staff all know who I am.
My partner also works at the same hospital. They all talk.
She'll find out where I am if someone recognizes me
and mentions it, which does not negate any of the
fact that you need to do this. Yeah, which I
know you said it's already been done, but it's like
it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yeah, yeah, just do it.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Comment to are you at the hospital now? Where is
your first child? Can your family take them under their care?
So you can focus on your and your baby two's
health and well being. Could family of yours go to
your house and gather what's needed for you and the
kiddos and have it ready for when you leave the hospital.
The other comments are right about reporting mother in law

(08:29):
if she tries this BS again. I'm so sorry you're
just finding out about your partner breaking trust. That's such
a sacred bond. At a minimum, I would suggest separate therapy.
I'm a big advocate for mental health care for all
and the couple's counseling. If you're not ready to cut
ties with partner, there's time in the future to worry
about your relationship and what you may do. But priority
needs to be one where are you and the baby's

(08:50):
going to be? And two getting the items ahead of
time and first born with your family, and three, most importantly,
your health and baby twos birth. Here If you want
a friend to chat, I'm no stranger to struggle.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
You are not alone.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times
if one only remembers to turn on the light. Ohp,
he replies, No, I want to get checked out in
the morning because crying has left me with abdominal pain.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Oh dang, it's that hard of crying. That's so sad.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Oh dude, dang me if my firstborn is sleeping with
me tonight, he came in for cuddles and fell asleep.
I'm going to make arrangements in the morning. My partner
wants me to stay and says he'll leave until I
ask him back, but I'd rather be somewhere. My mother
in law doesn't have the address for Thank you for
your kind words. I will look into therapy because it

(09:42):
is important to have a safe space to talk to someone.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
This will take its toll sooner or later.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
I'm kind of in denial right now, and there is
an update before you get into it. Hm, I you know,
regardless of how I feel about like the situation with
her partner. Yep, that commenter was right that it's like
you really only need to worry about giving birth. Yeah,
and like making sure that you're in a good, healthy environment, right,

(10:10):
having everything ready, having your child being taken care of,
and just give you birth.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
I totally agree. Figure out your marital problems a bit later. Yeah,
this is top priority you and your safety and health
as well as your child's.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
If I was you right, and you you're in this hospital.
I would actually not go to the second to a
different hospital, because you might be looking at an opportunity
low key to make a crap ton of money off
of this hospital oohoo, because you should go to them
and be like exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit CE. Why
this woman is not allowed near me.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
It is your.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
Responsibility to make sure that your practicing doctor does not
break violate, violate any regulations or my just personal wishes
as a patient to be left alone by her right.
That is on y'all to fix. And if she breaks
it again, boil boy. Do I bet you have a

(11:08):
case for like something?

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (11:10):
Pay for that birth?

Speaker 2 (11:12):
They're expensive, Yeah, yeah, you might get it for free.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Update hello again. This is a small update from me
for those who were wondering. Firstly, I contacted the hospital
about my upcoming admission. I was redirected to a safeguarding
line and explained to the situation. They have confirmed my
file is still showing as locked and have taken her
details in order to ensure she is prevented access to me.

(11:38):
I'm not sure if this will guarantee she stays away,
but if she doesn't I will not be accountable or
to blame for the consequences of her actions. Secondly, I
did contact the hospital about the previous incident. They are
being shifty to say the least, contact a lawyer, immediately
contact a lawyer. They do not want to take the
complaint because I should have contacted them there and then,

(12:01):
which I have already explained. It was then that they
did not want to take it because a member of
the staff was involved and that wasn't what they deal with.
I have been sure to get their refusal in writing
good good. I was passed around to various other departments.
One has agreed to look into the previous incident if
she violates my request a second time. No, they should

(12:22):
be looking into it immediately right now, because she already
violated it a first time. Thirdly, I've spoken to my
lawyers about quite a few things.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Let's go.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
I have sent everything to my lawyer. I cannot disclose
them on here, but now everything is being set in motion.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
Huzzah, my god.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Finally, this is the update that will get a lot
of backlash from most of you. My mother in law
has my hospital date. She sent a message stating that
she found it out from someone she works with. They
were named in the message, and I'm not entirely sure
why that person had it to begin with. There was
also a mention of how she'll already be working on
that day. Pretty much guess where this is going. I

(13:02):
cannot do anything about it this weekend, but I will
be contacting the hospital and my lawyers on Monday. Girl
at this point higher private security, honestly, like, I don't
know what else to do, Like you've documented this entire process.
The hospital is unwilling to protect you from their employee

(13:23):
harassing you.

Speaker 4 (13:24):
Literally.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
Yeah, It's like it's frustrating how she's doing all of
the right steps to protect herself legally, and I mean, well,
I guess trying to set boundaries to physically protect yourself,
but like nothing is happening.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, no one's listening.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
They literally said I was only one time. Well, dude,
she does the second time? Huh no she does.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Ah, Well, you should have called.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
It that time and we would have taken it seriously.
But since you're doing it now, it's like, oh, I
should have called you right after I had given birth.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
It was blind side.

Speaker 3 (13:58):
I kind of did though, too, Like she was still
asking around and just getting jumped around, like to all
of these places and they weren't doing anything.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
All I hear is I close my eyes, and when
I hear this story, I hear chitching.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
Yeah, chitchi y.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yeah, you can su the hell out of his hospital.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Yeah, and her personally.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Uh. I'm not sure if I missed anything. My brain
is sleep deprived right now. I'll add it if I'm
reminded or suddenly remember. And there is an edit covering
some repeated mentions. Again, I'm British. Some stuff you are
all saying applies, some does not. I appreciate it, but
my lawyers are on top of everything, and I have
been sending the necessary documents, et cetera. Hospital change is

(14:40):
not an option. As per the previous posts, this is
the best hospital.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
For me to be at.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
If anything were to happen, I would be transferred back
here either way.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
Hospitals here are in trusts.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
She can access both that offer maternity services and the
others that are too far from me to get to.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
Oh, like she can, Okay, so you can.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Even if she went to another hospital, the mom can
still go to.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
It, right because she would still have access in these
other hospitals.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
Oh Man.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
To be strictly clear, my partner did not tell her
my date. I know I wrote it above, but some
comments are still suggesting it was him. It was definitely not.
She sent the name of the person in the message
she wrote to him. This person is from her department.
I cannot remember her exact job role, but I know
she is in a senior position. And edit number two,
I knew I forgot something. My aunt is trying to

(15:27):
swap her ships at work to be with me. My
issue is that I do not really want anyone with
me during the actual surgery. The only person I would
want there is my partner right now, still a massive
no from me, and he is respecting that my mother
would faint. She couldn't even look at the pictures of
my firstborn if he had not yet been cleaned up.

(15:48):
Post surgery, I won't be able to walk and will
be a sitting duck. This is when my mother in
law is most likely to make her appearance.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
I hope she has sense enough to stay away this time,
but I am a she is going to try to
come no matter what. I'm mostly concerned about not having
anyone around because I know I will want to shower
at some point, but I won't be able to if
my baby is not supervised. I will have two private nurses,
but I know they are not people I can realistically
trust to confront my mother in law if I'm not present.

(16:19):
Some have suggested doulas, which is like a midwife. I
started to look into it yesterday and will continue to
research before the weekend is over. I am really disheartened
about having to compromise on my boundary. My child is
more important to me and for their sake, I will
do what I have to. And there is a second
edit here. Oh my god, there's another update.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
I'm scared.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
I am too, And you know I get it.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
You're pregnant. Yep, you're upset with your partner. She feel
he was be betrayed you, which she you know, did
There's a lot of different ways to look at that. Yeah,
did he tell you because he was trying to save
you from knowing that it was going to happen and
hoping maybe it won't.

Speaker 4 (17:02):
Was he did he?

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Not?

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Like, there's so many different ways. It's not just like.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
Black or white as to like why he did that?

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, because I could understand, like if it wasn't in
the moment kind of a thing. If he was like,
I don't want to stress her out even more. She's
literally giving birth right. But he knew ahead of time.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Though, but like an hour ahead of time?

Speaker 4 (17:21):
Was it only an hour?

Speaker 2 (17:22):
It wasn't like he knew forever. It was like he
knew like an hour before she showed up.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
He knew she was coming.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yeah, see, because then I could understand. But I mean,
depending on what he has to do to be there
to support ope, I I you know, if he doesn't
have anything to do, if he has time away from her,
he could be like, hey, I'm gonna go step out
and take care of something real quick, and then he
just like stiff arms his mom or something.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
It's true, bro, but you can't really given the context
of her, the upbringing and her kind of being emotionally
abusive and narcissistic and stuff. It's like, I hate to
bring up the parallel of like a frightened animal, but
if like, if someone's like abusing, you know, like you know,
a dog will be like you know, all you know,
everything's tucked. He's like, you know, he's scared, he's shaken, right,

(18:06):
And then you might see that exact same dog like
like something else. But if they see that one guy,
they'll shut down because of what has happened to them.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Right right, I'm.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Thinking the same things happening with their partner in his story,
so too.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
I think maybe we can give the partner a little
bit of slack. Maybe we maybe we can be upset
because like, you know that that is upsetting, But it
can be more of a conversation rather than just like
I'm just done. It can be like, hey, like I
understand that, but we gotta work out something because she's crazy. Right,
most of my anger is at her, but we got
to figure out how to work as a team against

(18:43):
things like that.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
You don't want to cut your team in half exactly
at a critical juncture, exactly.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
But it is true that he needs to work on it.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, yeah, but anyway, let's just get in a second update.

Speaker 4 (18:54):
Let's do it.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
I'm sorry for the amount of posts. Adding the information
onto the previous ones makes it appear overwhelming. I realized
that I was answering a lot of the same questions
in the comments, and the edit was not the most
thorough in covering other concerns.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
My fault.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
I'll use this to cover them now. Note this will
make no sense if you haven't seen either of the
previous posts. Firstly, I would like to address the above.
If you feel a particular way, if you feel free
to comment it, do not send it to me directly.
You're wasting your time because I will continue with my
decisions regardless of your opinion. The fact you feel a
need to hide in my messages says a lot more

(19:28):
about you than it does about me. I can at
least respect the people that are openly disrespectful in the comments.
I'm not ignoring any of the other messages. I've only
realized I was being sent them because I have never
messaged anyone and my notifications are off. I will get
around to replying to each of them, and I do
appreciate them. Secondly, there is a misconception about my partner.
I should have cleared some stuff up in the first post,

(19:50):
but I was crying when I wrote it, so it
really will be all over the place. I have mentioned
it a lot in my replies. What he did was
wrong and inexcusable.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
He knows this. I know this.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Aside, my partner is the one who cut my mother
in law out of our lives. He made his own
choice to do that two years ago. I never asked
him to do it. Whilst people may not believe me,
he still does a lot to ensure she stays away.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
Now he's looked into moving us away.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
But he has a specialist role and needs a job
posting to become available. At present, the only one is
in another country and he was asked for by name.
He doesn't want to take me away from my family
and friends, so he has declined the offer. She does
not come to my home. She does not see my firstborn.
We do not go to their house. We do not
meet up in public or private. The most he will

(20:37):
see her is at work, work, social events, or at
family gatherings. He'll acknowledge her presence to be civil, but
we stay away. If she tries to be situated with us,
he will remove us. Her worming her way back in
is met with resistance from him at all angles I
did mention he is overly defensive about her. To explain
this better, I mean that he will be defensive if

(20:58):
I mention something she has done.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
It's almost like a coping mechanism for him.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
What he doesn't do is go out of his way
to defend her and tell me that I'm at fault, etc.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Etc.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
There is, of course a lot more that he's done,
and I will credit him for that. A lot of
this is remembering he has grown up under her abuse
and narcissism his whole life. He needs to go to
therapy and come to understand that he has internalized things
that are not normal. Agreed, beautiful, perfect.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
I agreed with all of that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Thirdly, my aunt is due to be here in an hour.
She says I need to hear him out about what
happened at the hospital. She has seen the messages from
then and says he is not entirely to blame for it.
She is someone that will hold anyone and everyone accountable
for their actions, so I can trust her opinion. I
will probably take time to do so later today and
spend the weekend reflecting on it. Again. I think this

(21:50):
covers everything I missed. Please let me know if I
did not blow And there's an update number three more
information another update from me. I hope I am not
boring you all with them. I made a decision in
relation to the hospital and my family. Before I get
into that, I do want to say that this was
never something taken lightly. I would never want to deprive

(22:13):
my partner of the opportunity to be there when our
children are born. It is a once in a lifetime event.
No matter how many children you have, you can only
be there for that child once. The reason it was
considered is because I cannot have someone who treated me
and has sense treated me the way my mother in
law does around me. Nor would I be willing to
have someone who enabled her in getting her way by

(22:36):
my side, especially when what I need is someone I
can trust. I was still going to allow him to
sign the birth certificate after the fact he is their
dad and they are not a pawn. Well, I was
very gracious of you to, I guess, allow him to
sign the official legal document that he needed to sign.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, how gracious.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
I'm surprised that was in question.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
Custody is a whole other matter, but, as I would
recommend to most people, always look into it, even if
you have no intention of separating.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
Oh, that's something to ponder.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
I kind of like that, though, I'll have to think
about that. I do kind of like that. Yeah, it
will give you clarity on your position. We already have
a pre existing agreement that we are both happy to
abide by now for the decision.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
I am allowing him to be present. Great, We're getting
the band bag together all right.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
However, my aunt will also be there in the event
he proves incapable of dealing with my mother in law.
She will not hesitate to advocate for us all and
she will defend my partner if mother in law tries to.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Get to him.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
He has shown me his commitment to our family over
the past couple of years. He was willing to miss
the birth because he understood how much his actions have
impacted me. He has also said he will look into
therapy for his personal development. He has given me space
to come to this decision on my own, and I
feel it is the best one for our family. I
did speak to him at the previous incident yesterday afternoon.

(24:02):
My aunt was right about him not being entirely to blame.
A lot of it comes down to timing circumstances, what
I witnessed and what he has told me. He had
seen a message from her to say she was on
her way to my room and not replied because he
was helping me. He did not see the second message
where she essentially told him that neither of us was
going to prevent her from having her way until after

(24:22):
she had already left. It was a case of him knowing,
not agreeing that she could come. The fact he didn't
speak up when he realized she was in the room
and she had picked up our baby was another fault
he has accepted.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
However, he did leave to confront.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
Her after a nurse arrived to take over. We have
a little bit more story left. We've got the gang
back together. Yep, you know like this, I think this
all can be just summed up with the with one thing.
And it's like, you know, communication.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
Communication, isn't that always the winner? Yeah, the band aid
that you put.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
On a wound exactly, or like a parent or maybe
if this the case, like just let the ant like
handle everything in terms of because I feel like curity. Yeah,
he broke the trust. So then once the trust is broken,
he can't just be like, well, I know I didn't
I wasn't gonna letter in, I didn't greenlight this, right
And she goes, well, I can't trust that you.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
I can't trust that.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
Well, then she was there, so how that.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Happened right exactly? So so it's like he can't just
be like, oh, babe, believe me.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
Like, Yeah, we've got back up, We've got communication, we've
got apologies. This is how we need to go about it.
We don't need to explode.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yes, I like that he's getting therapy. Yeah he needs it. Yeah,
given this information, I would be a complete monster to
keep him away. He is and will continue to be
my partner. I never blamed him from my mother in
law's actions. She deserves to and will be held accountable
for herself. Yes, he lied to me by keeping quiet. Yes,

(25:54):
he deceives my family by not correcting them and letting
me take the blame. He has said he will speak
to them and accept the consequences of his actions. I'm
still hung up on the fact that you didn't speak
up for yourself.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
Yeah, what is that girl?

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Why aren't we saying, hey, hey, family, I didn't green
like this for one second?

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Right?

Speaker 1 (26:14):
You think I would green light her.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
I don't like her, I like you guys.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
Why would I invite the lady?

Speaker 2 (26:20):
I don't like to see the baby think.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
Yeah, I don't understand that either. Maybe there was something
that was going on. The ant knows now. I guess
I think.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
We both I think we could all benefit, literally everyone
in the story except for the ant, all benefit from
some you know, therapy on how to maybe communicate a
little bit more effectively.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah, my mother in law decided to contact me directly
yesterday evening. I did have her blocked for calls and
text but it seems I forgot about an app. It
has been since rectified. Safe to say, I have a
lot to update my lawyers with. My partner is aware
of what I'm doing and fully supports it. If you're
disappointed in my choice, that's fine. I'm the one that

(27:01):
will have to live with it. Also, if this makes
little sense, please forgive me. I'm quite drained. I forgive you.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
I forgive you. You just had a baby, yeah, baby time.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yeah, and you have a baby for a mother in
law does not know how to take the word no
for an answer.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
Yeah, Well, well we figured it out.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Hopefully band's back. The band is back together.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Band is back together. I still want to know if there's, like,
you know, anything happening on the legal side of the
hip of violations and stuff, because that was still some serious,
serious crap.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
There's no way that isn't malpractice in some way in
some lawyers are going to handle it.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
So many congratulations.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yeah, congratulations on the bag you're inevitably getting from all that.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
Yeah, but that is.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
The end of that story. Yep, John here og host.
We're gonna get back to these stories. But a quick
three minute break from hous from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
My girlfriend keeps playing with her food. It's making me crazy.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
It's time to grow up.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
This is a throwaway because this whole situation is so
stupid and I don't want to associate it with my
normal account. So my girlfriend eats popcorn by frogging it,
which means she picks up a handful, brings it up
to her mouth, and sticks on her tongue to quickly
pull pieces into her mouth. By the way, this comes
from no more frogging it And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime,

(28:23):
supread it. So the first time I saw her do this,
I was very confused and a little put off. I
asked her what she was doing and she just said,
I'm frogging it. I thought it was kind of cute,
if a little silly, but I didn't think much else
of it at the time. I did not realize that
she is utterly incapable of eating popcorn in any other way.
I think it's gross and weird. It seems silly, but

(28:45):
the sounds and visuals are very childlike to me, which
is very off putting, especially because when she frogs it,
she'll often giggle in a very unnaturally way for her.
She giggles in a high pitched way if she drops
a piece of popcorn or one falls off her to
while she does it. What's the issue here?

Speaker 2 (29:03):
I say, this guy's like, my girlfriend is whimsical, Like
what do I do?

Speaker 3 (29:09):
She already isn't the most mature person who ever lived,
and she definitely leans into being pretty quirky, which I
really like about her, but can also kind of slip
into childness. I know that watching New Girl was very
formative to her, so I don't know if the whole
frogging it thing is from that show or whatever. I've
asked her to please eat popcorn like a normal person
around me, but she rolls her eyes and tells me

(29:30):
that I don't have a say and how she eats anything,
which is true, which is fair in theory, but listening
to her mouth smacking for forty five plus minutes. Every
time we watch a movie or TV show a couple
times a week is beginning to have an adverse effect
on my mental health.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Okay, okay, buddy, buddy, buddy, we're not talking about her
lipsmacking though, right, you're talking about the technique. Yeah, so
maybe bring up say, hey, it's the sound, it's the lipsmacking.
It just I don't know. It just gets to me,
you know, nails.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
On a chalkboard.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
Sure, if there's a way to do without that.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
Sound, right, you could work something out, dude, do it
without killing her whimsy? Bro, what's wrong with you? I'm
mad at you.

Speaker 3 (30:07):
I'm at the end of my rope here. There's only
so much frogging a man can take.

Speaker 2 (30:11):
Oh God, I at the end of my rope.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
I can't do it anymore.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Well, then you can just walk away, dude, anytime exactly?

Speaker 3 (30:18):
Will I be the a hole if I unequivocally tell
her that she can't do her hellish popcorn ritual around me.
She can do it all she wants when I'm not
in the room. I just can't deal with hearing it anymore.
Some of Opie's comments from both posts.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
Op you sound like your dream job is like watching
paint dry. Right boring, boring man, very very boring. Sorry.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
I just one commentary says, quote, will I be the
a hole if I unequivocally tell her she can't do
her hellish popword ritual around me? And how do you
think you're going to reinforce this? She has already told
you that you can't tell her how to eat. Everyone
sucks here.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Disagree.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
I don't know why you're so fixated on this, and
I don't know why she thinks it's necessary to eat
that way. That's fair. Honestly, I'm not sure how I
wouldn't force that. I think the fixation someone comes from
the mouth sounds. I have a bit of missophonia, and
the lip smacking she does is awful to listen to.
As for why she insists on eating that way, I
have no idea. The most generous interpretation I have is

(31:16):
that she just really has fun doing it and doesn't
want to stop. The most uncharitable view is that she's
purposefully doing it to annoy me. But that's incredibly unlike her,
so I won't bet on that. Another comment says, everyone
sucks here. It seems that popcorn and how she eats.
It is more important to each of you than the relationship.
And that's okay. Not everyone is meant to be together.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Okay, everyone here is an idiot. Yeah, I just want
to say this guy goes. I guess the best flight
I could paint it in is that she just enjoys
doing it and has fun and doesn't want to stop.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah, oh my god, there it is, brother.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
That is exactly the reason.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
So if you just tell her that you're like when
the lipsmacking noises, it could be you. It could be
the King of England, it could be literally anyone. I
want to claw my eyes out. That's a whole different
thing than what you've been describing.

Speaker 3 (32:08):
Exactly, exactly, get to the root of the issue here.
Ope responds to that commentary, and this response is downvoted good.
I get where you're coming from saying that we're incompatible.
I know that this is really a common thing to say.
But our relationship is good outside of this. We have
fun together and have adventures and love each other. She's
genuinely my favorite person to be around, and I love
almost everything about her. She's incredibly smart, super talented artist,

(32:31):
and has a magnetic personality. I can't speak for her,
but I think that she feels the same way, and
I don't think that either of us consider this something
that we would break up over. I really appreciate your comment.
Another commentary says, why TV, she's just eating in a
way that makes you happy. If you hate it so much,
then you can leave when she does it. Opi responds,
and this is also downvoted. I understand where you're coming from,

(32:52):
but it's not as simple as just leaving the room
when she does it. It only bothers me when she
does it while we're watching TV together. We're usually cuddling
or right next to you each other. We both really
like spending time with each other like this and would
both be pretty bummed if we had to cut it
out completely. Another commentar says, not the A hole question mark?
Can she really not eat like a normal person just

(33:12):
to make her partner a little bit more comfortable? That
seems like a reasonable accommodation to ask for. Partners are
supposed to be nice to each other. Surely she can
avoid doing that for the sake of you. Opie response.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
Can I just really quickly say that that comment was
like not the A hole? Because you should totally kill
her shine. You should totally drown her sparkle.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Bro Yeah yeah, Opi responds, she's really typically not like
this for some reason, which after reading the comments, is
pretty ridiculous. This is something that's really important to both
of us. She's a really awesome person and great partner
outside of this. One of the top commentarys says, sounds
like you need a less interesting girlfriend. Let her be
her true self and stop trying to dim her light.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
Make her as boring as you op make her boring.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
Ohpi responds, I definitely don't want to dim her light.
I just want her to stop doing this one thing
around me. I get how it might read like I
don't like her or that I want her to change.
I'm fine with her frogging it as long as I'm
not there, and another commentary says you're the bee, just
ignore it if it bothers you. Bro Opie says, I
was previously able to ignore it when it was a
couple times a month, but it's recently become more and

(34:18):
more common and become a bit unmanageable for me. I
do wish that I could just ignore it, though another
commentaarer says you're the a hole because if you think
someone is immature and you want to change them, you
shouldn't be with them. You describe your girlfriend as quirky
in a way that comes off is really condescending and
not at all affectionate.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
In fact, if you.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
Have misophobia, perhaps popcorn shouldn't be part of shared movie
rituals because it is a noisy food, but you needn't
dictate how she enjoys it when she does eat it.
Opie says oof, I definitely don't want to be condescending.
I just wanted to explain that I don't think she's
doing this out of malice or even putting that much
thought into it at all.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
Holy crap, buddy, because you were condescending this whole time.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
Yeah. Yeah, I can see how my post reads like
I don't much like her, but be assured that I
do really love her. I think I need to communicate
that to her better. But I really appreciate your comment.
Another top commentary says finds quirky girl to date thinks
it's cute that immediately tries to get her to stop
being quirky. Just go find someone you actually like instead

(35:20):
of trying to snuff the fire out of this one,
Opie says, I mean, I do encourage her quirky habits
a lot. I primarily finance her different art stuff. Have
a ton of fun listening to her explain obscure YouTube drama.
I see her in every performance I can I drive
to her places because she doesn't have a license. I
listen to her random morning singing, and I love the
way that she sees the world. I definitely get how

(35:42):
people are getting the impression that I don't like my girlfriend,
though I really didn't mean for my post to come
across like that, because I love my girlfriend more than
anything in the world, and we do have an update.
But he's fighting for his life in these comments right now.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Oh, buddy, I mean, I guess I'm inclined to believe you,
because you know, you probably would have just left if
you truly just didn't like this person, right Like, It's
more like I think you're he's she's trying to figure
out like, am I truly in the wrong for asking
her to change this thing about herself that she does?
And buddy, yeah, you are sure, at least the way

(36:18):
you're going about it now, I think if you bring
up that you have some kind of like phobia or
some kind of like you know, if you're like.

Speaker 3 (36:25):
Then just explain that if she's quirky, she's got her
she's got her quirks, she about to have her phobias,
she can understand your quirks, and you could figure out
a compromise here.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Yeah, and I would definitely, uh maybe do some exercises
so that you could see what your perspective sounds like
when you write it, because dude, you said you weren't
trying to be condescending. You made it sound like your
girlfriend was a five year old Like.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Mentally, it's sound pretty consentiently for sure. But we do
have an update edit just coming into clear up some things.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
Misophoonia.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
Wait, it says misophonia this whole time. It's okay, misophonia,
We got it. Yes, I have misophonia, but it's not
the primary driver of my frustration, which is how the
situation keeps repeating itself my girlfriend. I do actually love
my girlfriend a lot. I know it really doesn't seem
like it, and I totally gave way. People don't think
I deserve her, but I really do think that she's

(37:19):
the greatest woman in the world. I also don't think
that she's doing this to upset me or why this
is our hill to pass away on. As for alternative snacks,
I do always have alternate snacks like pretzel rolls, mixed nuts, berries, fruits, chips.

Speaker 4 (37:32):
And all that good stuff.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
These are all foods that my girlfriend loves, and I
take care in providing she'll still choose popcorn over these foods,
as is her right, but also that it's kind of
frustrating for me personally. As for overreactions, yep, I definitely
think I've led this build up for too long without
having a proper sit down conversation with my girlfriend. I'm
going to take the rest of the day to really
go through my thoughts and figure out what I'm actually

(37:55):
feeling and how to properly convey that to my girlfriend
in a way that doesn't make her feel that I
think less of her or want to change her.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
But you do. But both of those, But both of
those things you're true.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
Right now, buddy, Yeah, if it's not you literally you
had me in the first half. I'm like, Oh, it's
just about the.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
Noises, right, that's what we were thinking.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
And then he literally goes, it's not actually mostly about
the noises.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
Yeah, so you do just want to change your girlfriend?

Speaker 4 (38:19):
Yeah, which is bad.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
I mean within this context, it's bad. Look, sometimes people
need to change for the better.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
Sure if they're like a mean right, this is not
one of those things. Right Right, when she gets home
this evening, we'll talk it out. Thank you to everyone
who commented and message. You all give me some great
perspective and I really appreciate it. I one hundred percent
would be wrong to dictate what my girlfriend can do,
and I've definitely been approaching this in the wrong way.
And we do have a second update, believe it or not.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
Dude, I can't wait to see how this guy fumbles this.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
Yeah, I need to see.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
There's no way it's going to go well.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
I doubt it if he's approaching it from the fundamental
perspective of It's like, my girlfriend is childish and in
mature doing this thing, and I don't like it.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
Right, It's like, well, we do have a second update.
So just posting this to my profile as a little
update and conclusion. First, I'd like to again thank everyone
for their comments. I didn't respond to all of them,
but I did read many of them and appreciate all
of them. A couple more clarifications from things I saw
in the comments. I'm twenty six, girlfriend is twenty eight.
I forgot to put that in my original post and

(39:23):
only updated my Emma the a whole post with our ages. Thankfully,
I am not a forty year old shocked at the
immaturity of his eighteen year old girlfriend or anything like that,
since several commentars projected that onto the situation. My girlfriend
can technically drive, but she doesn't have a license. That's
why I drive her around. If there's one thing that
she hates more than driving, it's breaking the law. I

(39:45):
finance her hobbies because I make more money than her.
We equally share bills and rent, but I pay for
most things outside of that. She's got debts to pay
off and savings to build up, and anything I can
do to make that easier I want to do so.
As for the update slash conclusion, after my girlfriend got
home from work and had a chance to catch her
breath and settle in, I sat her down and we

(40:06):
had a really good conversation. Here's the short version. She
didn't realize how much her frogging it bothered me and
had I explain that better or in a less annoyed tone.
She would have stopped a long time ago. Many moments
during our relationship that I chalked up to her being
immature or childish were her intentionally messing with me. In retrospect,
that makes a lot of sense. She's going to now

(40:27):
default to assuming I'm serious rather than joking, and I'm
going to be more clear when I am being serious.
When I showed her this post, she agreed that the
way I wrote it makes me sound like a controlling
wienerhead who hates his girlfriend. True.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Wow, dude, But props on you for showing her this post.
Yeah like that. Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
She doesn't think I represented this story her or myself
in a very accurate or coherent way, and I have
to agree there. Yeah, I promise I'm a vaguely normal
guy most of the time.

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Okay, So we were just suffering from a case of
this guy didn't know how to properly write.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
If we've got miscommunication with the girlfriend, it makes sense
that there's miscommunication with Reddit.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
Oh that's that's a great point, right.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
So she was delighted that people were planning on adopting
the term frogging it and has been very happily parading
around calling herself a food innovator and threatening to quit
her job and become a food blogger. She also says
to the people offering to take her off my hands
that she respectfully declines. But if you're ever in Orlando,

(41:31):
there's a little bit more to the story. Shall we
just wrap this up really quick?

Speaker 2 (41:34):
I mean, look, yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, I mean
everything that we would have had to say has been
like undone, the girlfriend is here, she's like here. Yeah,
you did make yourself sound terrible. But guys, he's not,
I promise right right. No.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
I honestly believed him when he was saying, like I
actually do love my girlfriend. That's why I'm like so
desperately coming to Reddit of like how do I fix
this one thing? You know, which I understand that.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
And guess what, guys, guess what it was? The whole
time it.

Speaker 5 (42:05):
Was just clearly communicating. No way that clear communicator, because
you can communicate like yeah, but do an'tyone know what
I just said? No, because it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Clear exactly exactly.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
I love this.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
We have a little bit more to the story. I
think we're going to be Okay, we're removing popcorn from
our movie nights, but not our cupboards and our hearts.
Ha ha. We're going We're gonna look into some couple's
counseling to better our communication, and I'm going to reach
out to my former psychiatrists and therapist to see if
either of them have someone to recommend for individual therapy.
Thank you again to everyone who lent me their time

(42:44):
and energy. And that is the end of that story.
Rabo pe Yeah, no communication check. Showing the RETI post
check not always necessary, but it works.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
Props to them figuring things out. We're also considering therapy.

Speaker 4 (43:01):
Never a bad idea.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Always always a good thought.

Speaker 3 (43:04):
Yeah wow, So that's the beautiful end to our story.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
I refuse to go to the theme park with my
brother because he's in a wheelchair.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
What about those front of the line passes?

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Those are expensive? My nineteen female little brother ten broke
his ankle literally this week on a Monday, so he's
bound to the couch or a wheelchair right now since
he has to keep his foots up. I live with
my parents forty nine male, forty five female, and we
had all planned a family trip to a theme park
two hours away this Monday, which would be a week
after the break. By the way, this comes from Santa

(43:37):
Tee and if you want to be your own stories,
go to our slash okay story Tom suburn it.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
So.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
My little brother had been talking about it for weeks.
It would be his first time he would get to
go on a ride, particularly a roller coaster, since he
was too scared before. But now he was brave enough. Ah,
he was so excited. Look, but then he broke his ankle.
My parents, however, are determined to still go on this
strip Monday because our tickets could not be postponed. Also,

(44:01):
they say they really want to go. My brother would
have to find a way to sit in a car
for two hours on the way back and there while
keeping his leg high, being safe and being comfortable. Hard,
but maybe not impossible. The problem, however, arises at the
theme park itself. It's lovely. However, my brother can go
on exactly five rides, which includes animatronic show and a

(44:23):
forty movie.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Okay, the other rides are not wheelchair accessible and he
can't walk right now. Of these five rides, will enjoy three.
I think it's extremely sad to put this boy near
all the coasters he's been excited about for months now,
and confront him with things he cannot do. I told
my parents this, and they went backcrap on me. I
was egotistical and mean and I just didn't want to

(44:46):
go because I didn't love them for him, et cetera,
which is not true.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
I just don't want to go with him right now.
Should we go later? My parents already stated that we
would go again when he was better, just also now.
I still don't like that idea. I even came up
with a list of activities that were wheelchair accessible, but
they said no, they really wanted to go to the
theme park. When I brought the bad news about the
coasters to my little brother while trying to still be
sensitive as I could, he started crying and said that

(45:11):
it wasn't me. He just was sad that he would
miss out yet again, which shocked me because it was
so mature but also cute.

Speaker 6 (45:18):
And said, oh wait, so he's saying like, oh, you
guys can still go.

Speaker 4 (45:22):
I'll just you know, hang back. That's so sad.

Speaker 6 (45:25):
I think the parents are the ones being freaking thinking
about themselves.

Speaker 4 (45:29):
This is they're the egotistical ones.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
But they also are paying for rent and taking care
of these children, and they might want to break.

Speaker 4 (45:35):
Well, then they should go to wherever they're going by themselves.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
That might be their next plan of action.

Speaker 4 (45:39):
Yeah, they're like, you guys can stay home, We're going.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
My mom got mad, saying I was to ruin a
day for them before it even started, and got mad
on my brother for crying because there were other fun
things to do there. He got tantrum me and said,
but the coasters. But after some of my mom's convincing,
he said, still crying, Okay, I'll still go for you.

(46:02):
Stop being mad, because all have said I'll go tough translation,
which broke my heart. I just don't think it's a
good idea that we are better off postponing the trip
rather than confronting this ten year old with all the
things he wants to do but cannot. Also, my brother
has been very sick because of the pain and has
lost sleep, so he has still been vomiting and crying

(46:24):
a lot, and being two hours away from home is
quite a lot, and if you're all of a sudden nausey.
My boyfriend's family sided with me, But I feel like
I'm going crazy. So am I the a hole?

Speaker 3 (46:36):
Clearly not.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Yeah you're a really nice.

Speaker 6 (46:39):
Said, yeah, you're a really great sibling, and your parents
literally don't care about your brother at all. Very clearly
these parents are just focused on Either they're focused on
the theme park because they really want to go to
the theme park or because they don't want to lose
the money that they paid.

Speaker 4 (46:55):
But either way, they're really not focusing on their kids.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
They might have gotten those front line passes, well those
are older experiendi here.

Speaker 3 (47:04):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
Maybe they got the cool souvenir popcorn bucket or drinking,
like we have to go and they can't. They gotta
they gotta go now.

Speaker 6 (47:12):
Yeah, no, op's trying to protect their sibling and parents
are not it.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
We've got some comments. I came here to say, you
will be the a hole for being ashamed of having
to be seen with your brother using at wheelchair. Instead,
you're being a super duper sister who is totally not
the a hole, sticking up for your brother because the
trip is going to work for him because he won't
be able to do much, while it's good for him
to get out and about even with a broken ankle.
A theme park is a draft choice. That's what I've

(47:39):
been saying. We've had a miniature version of our entire
country here, which is also like a fun day trip,
and you'll only have to be able to watch the
fun details. Just stroll around. He won't be missing much
of anything. I'm not ashamed of any wheelchairs, and I'll
never be. I'm just ashamed of the people that are
in him. I don't mind about the wheelchairs, but the
people that.

Speaker 4 (48:00):
People in them. Oh, they really grind my gears.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
They gotta stay away from them. I actually think he's
fun in this wheelchair, and so does he. Haha. We
do soft willies while my parents aren't looking.

Speaker 6 (48:12):
Okay, these siblings seem great. They seem like they got
a good bond.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
You have a mini town. Dang, where do you live?
The modern ro dam. It's like a miniature of the
entire country, which is not big. Lmao. It's blast oh,
motor tram, it's amazing it is. My parents are saying, yeah,
but he's in a wheelchair, so we might not be
able to see all the miniatures. He's in a wheelchair,
not blind. All of the sudden we care about his wheelchair.

(48:37):
And then comes to a miniature country, but not when
it comes to a whole but theme park. Another commenter says,
not the A hole. First, you should absolutely double check
about postponing the tickets. If they have so few activities
that are wheelchair accessible, then it's only fair they allow
you to use the tickets when you can make full
use of the facilities. But you brought up valid bufful

(48:58):
points to your parents. If the point of the trip
is for the family to enjoy it, then postponing it
for another time it's a smart decision. Even if your
brother was able to do everything he wanted to do,
it seems unlikely that he will enjoy the trip overall
given his current pain and exhaustion. Oh PI applies. My
parents won't look into postponing the tickets. They say that
they had a six week passed away deadline ending next Friday.

(49:21):
Like sure, that's the rules, I guess, but customer service
might bend the rules for a bit for an unexpected
injury ten year old at least try. And we have
some other people saying stuff, not the a whole updates, No,
they don't. You get to put a timer on as
long as a queue and after that ends, you can
go on. I don't know. The parents feel very like

(49:42):
I feel like they got some kind of group on
online and they have to go and it can't use it.
I'm trying to side with the parents because like, I
feel like parents really sacrifice what like what they do
for kids and everything. But I don't know, I'm not
really seeing it.

Speaker 6 (49:57):
I just think as a parent, I think if I
were in this situation and where I was very ill,
my parents would never take me to an amusement.

Speaker 4 (50:03):
Kirk but oh they wouldn't in the world where they would.

Speaker 6 (50:06):
I think if I were vomiting and broke my ankle,
I think my mom would be like, yeah, We're gonna
not go.

Speaker 4 (50:13):
You know, if I really could not enjoy any aspect
of this.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
Yeah, your mom would be a ge That's really sweet
of your mom.

Speaker 6 (50:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
Update, I called the theme park OO and explain the
situation good on Europe. They said they would postpone the
tickets for US Geese and wish my brother a quick recovery.

Speaker 6 (50:31):
The fact that the parents didn't even ask is crazy.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Yep, So it's not a theme park issue anymore.

Speaker 4 (50:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (50:38):
I think that the parents should go by themselves and
then OP should say, hey, can you postpone these two
tickets and take her brother.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
Yeah. So fast forward to now his ankle is out
of the cast and he gets to do a lot
of fun things again, not running, but two more weeks
and he can do that too. We went to the
theme park yesterday and he went on all the coasters,
even the once he's been fearing for years.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
Ah.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
He talk about it the entire day yesterday and he
said he was glad he could ride the coasters for
the first time, even with his big sits. Today he
was still going on about it. I'm glad to see
that he had a good time. So did they go again?

Speaker 6 (51:11):
Well, I think that OPI was kind of jumping in
time and saying, yeah, I call them. They allowed us
to postpone and then we went in the future when
he got better. Oh, had a great time, which is
just like so obviously the solution here, And I just
I can't bathom that these parents were so focused on
going the day that they said that they were going,

(51:31):
that they couldn't even like see that their child was hurting.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Yeah and sick. That's fun. Everyone had a blast. It's
not the bit longest off day ever, but at least
it didn't well, although I never did get an apology
for what my parents called me, even after I saved
their tickets and their day with a cranky, disappointed child
in a wheelchair. But oh well, that's my parents for you.
Thanks for the help on the previous post, guys, and
you're welcome.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
Well there do you go, happy.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Ending, Sam here ogi host. We're gonna get back to
these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (52:02):
First, my mother is pushing a huge debt on me.
It ruined the family.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
Not you're cross the bear.

Speaker 4 (52:08):
So to start off with.

Speaker 6 (52:10):
My mom doesn't believe in college, not university, and doesn't
believe that it's a real education. I wanted to do animation,
and I knew there was a program at the college,
but being sixteen or seventeen, i'd just let her.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
Push me to university.

Speaker 6 (52:22):
By the way, this comes from poor throwaway six And
if you want to spit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay, storytime subbured it so for future reference,
the tuition was eighteen hundred a semester. I ended up
in a major that I found boring. I also became
slightly depressed because I thought that my life was going
nowhere and stopped attending classes. I eventually went back to

(52:42):
my high school to talk to my art teacher, since
she was practically a mom to me since the ninth grade,
giving me unbiased advice. She told me about a sort
of prerequisite course for the animation program at the college
that I could take. It's basically one year of portfolio building,
which is important. Also, if you do really well, you
can go straight in to the animation program the following year.
This was great news for me, but not so much

(53:04):
for my mom. You didn't understand why, and most importantly,
she wouldn't pay this time. I said that was fine.
I have a job and can save up. Tuition for
this course is thirteen forty a semester before funding. I
told them my plan was that when I got acceptance
to the program, I would drop out of UNI and
focus on working full time to save up until then

(53:24):
I would go through with the second semester. Everyone agreed
that it was a good plan. Second semester was heck.
I hated every single minute of it. It was so bland,
and once again I found my motivation passing away. So
when I got accepted, into the program. I was so happy.
I dropped out of UNI right away confirm my offer
and told my manager that I had open availability. There's

(53:46):
a possibility that they could move me to a different
area which is only full time staff. Then I went
and told my mom, and the conversation basically went.

Speaker 4 (53:54):
Like this me. Hey, Mom, I got into my program.
I'm so happy. Mom.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
That's good. Now you're just going to finish the rest
of university and have one year under your BILM.

Speaker 4 (54:05):
No, that wasn't the plan.

Speaker 6 (54:07):
I told you multiple times that I'd be dropping out
as soon as I got accepted so that I can
work and pay for college.

Speaker 4 (54:12):
I've already dropped out.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
Anyways, Well, thanks for wasting my money, and then she
hangs up.

Speaker 6 (54:18):
At this point, I'm feeling really confused and upset. I
told her for months and months what I planned to do. Also,
I had told them that I felt bad for wasting
her money and my dad's and that maybe I should
drop out before second semester so that they don't have
to pay another eighteen hundred dollars. It sounds like they're
just not listened to you.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Yeah, because you can tell them again and again, this
is my plan. But they already have a plan for you. Yeah,
if you don't stick by that, your disappointment.

Speaker 6 (54:43):
They said, no, it's fine and not to worry about it.
It was starting to make me feel as though she
was planning this, and also why she hadn't paid the
rest of the balance yet she was waiting to blackmail
me with it. The total left is about one thousand dollars. Today,
my dad text me that they want me to absorb
the one thousand dollars, but that it will all work out.

Speaker 4 (55:01):
In the end.

Speaker 6 (55:01):
I got angry and ended up telling him that he'll
get it one thousand dollars, but it will be when
I'm done paying for my education.

Speaker 4 (55:08):
He just said we'll talk about this later. I don't
know what to do.

Speaker 6 (55:11):
This is a lot for me and I definitely won't
be able to save up with one hundred dollars or
so going to that one thousand dollars along with my
car payments, gasp, gym membership, et cetera, all stuff that
was feasible before this on my part time minimum wage. Mostly,
I'm afraid that she'll stop paying for something that she
does pay for me, like my phone or car insurance.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
Edit.

Speaker 6 (55:31):
People seem to be confused about how long I've been
in UNI. It was my first year. If I hadn't
dropped out, I would have had three more years to
go edit too. Since my relationship with my mom hasn't
been clarified, we don't have a good relationship. She is
very controlling and is not against using threats or blackmail
going against her. When I was seventeen, basically when I
started applying to UNI would have been the end of

(55:52):
my world.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
US.

Speaker 6 (55:52):
At the time, I had a crap fast food job
that gave me maybe one hundred and fifty a month.
Oh hours were not good and not enough to become
into pennant. From her, there are a couple of comments, dude, OK,
but do you have thoughts. I'll just be honest.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
I'm kind of against college too, but because I think,
you know, unless you're being a lawyer or a doctor
or anything like that, if I could go back, I
probably wouldn't go to college because you can learn all
these things by yourself hmm and save money. But it
seems like, Okay, you've got like a good thing ahead
of you, some good prospects and everything to learn in that.
It's just I'm disappointed in parents for not like seeing
what's best for you.

Speaker 4 (56:26):
I agree.

Speaker 6 (56:27):
I think op has a very clear, like outline of
what how they want to get their education and what
they want to do, and that that's more than a
lot of students, I think a lot of students, which
is I think this is also fair. But they go
into college, you know, with undeclared or not really knowing
exactly where they want to go, which is totally fine.
But you have this like student who is super clear

(56:49):
and the parents just don't even care. But there are
some comments.

Speaker 4 (56:51):
Com and one.

Speaker 6 (56:52):
You made some life decisions that went against your parents' wishes.
Now you have to deal with the repercussions of your actions.
Welcome to adulthood. For the record, I think you should
follow your dreams, but you should also be prepared to
pay for it all by yourself. They are your dreams.
Common two. What did she do after high school? Any
ideas why she'd views university as the only way forward.
Opie says she didn't go to any sort of post

(57:13):
secondary school. I think that could be it. She just
wants me to get a good education, especially with most
everything needing a bachelor's degree. Common three. I completely disagree
with you. It sounds to me like they really heavily
guilted him into it despite all of his protests. Even
told her he wanted to drop out before his second
semester so he wouldn't waste any more money, and she
told him it didn't matter and guilted him into continuing.

(57:35):
When you manipulate someone into doing something against their better judgment,
don't be effing surprised when they changed their mind about
it later. Besides, it was given as a gift, not alone.
Obi says it was their idea more than mine. I
didn't want to waste their money. Also, if it had
been up to me, I would have taken a gap
year to figure it out, but they wouldn't allow it.
Comment for says, as someone who was buried in student

(57:57):
loan debt, save your money. It doesn't matter if she
approves or not, because you need to do what's best
for you. Reiterate your stance, and if she doesn't accept it,
no harm done. And there is an update. Well, I
know this update was posted quickly after the first post,
but I sat down and had a talk with them.
I started off by saying I was grateful for everything
they did, for me, and that eighteen hundred dollars was
no small amount, but that it wasn't fair to change

(58:19):
things on me last second, and they didn't give me
a chance to budget that one thousand dollars. Basically, they
forgot everything I told them. They forgot about how I
said I felt bad wasting their money, about my plans
of dropping out and working when I got acceptance, everything.
My mom actually said that I was the manipulative one.
They put blame on my art teacher because she apparently
didn't give me all the options, which was the course

(58:41):
I'll be attending now, even though I said it wouldn't
have happened if they would have just let me take
a year off, or rather if I had said f
it and done it, whether they liked it or not.
Now they don't care if I go to college or not.
I told them I don't want them to pay for
these things anymore unless they've paid in full beforehand, or
if they'd taken a loan in their name. I tried
to keep that part civil, but they were getting upsets,

(59:01):
so I turned it to the money. Turns out it
is in my name, which I never knew, so the
debt will go on my visa after my parents are
done paying their debts on my card, where I will
pay the minimum payments and accumulate interest as well for
not paying it oftentime. They also don't have a thousand
dollars up front. So I learned that people on here
can be very mean and nasty. But I've also learned

(59:22):
that it's time to grow up and people, including parents
in life, won't always be fair to you. Yeah, your
parents are really trying to screw you over. Also, thank
you to the animators who pmed me. You were very
nice at it. I'm helping my parents out with some
of their payments, so that is why they have debt
on my card. Sorry for the confusion. No, no, why
are we helping your parents? Why are you a seventeen

(59:45):
year old helping your parents with their debts?

Speaker 1 (59:48):
You're gonna love this or Caleb Hammer video. Do you
know who Caleb Pammer is. He's is a guy that
like basically looks at people's finances and then yells at
him like why are you spending one thousand dollars a
month on this video game or whatever? He just gets
onto people like why are you why are you letting
your state up and know they're not working and whenever
they need to work anyways, So this one couple comes in,
They're like, Oh, we're actually having our kids invest in us,

(01:00:11):
because you know, we brought into this world and I
think they should invest in us to like go on
vacations and paper our bills and this and that and
the other. He's like, dude, you got this totally backwards.
You're supposed to invest in your kids. What are you doing.

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
That's crazy.

Speaker 6 (01:00:22):
Added to one of my grants came in and now
I only have a four hundred and thirty three dollars
to pay off.

Speaker 4 (01:00:28):
I think I'll be okay, but there is an update.
Will they be okay?

Speaker 6 (01:00:32):
I guess we'll find out on the other day on
this next episode. Well, I got punted out. It all
started by my dad being cheery and saying good morning.
I just muttered him mmmmm. He said that he'd like
to be acknowledged, and I just said, please, don't act
like everything is okay. This is the start of a
huge crabstorm that was basically just me restating how I

(01:00:53):
confided in him the most about dropping out, and he
just turned around and called me a liar.

Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
Then I talked it off with You're just mom's puppet.

Speaker 6 (01:01:01):
And he lost it. A lot happened, but they said
that I wasn't their daughter. Have a nice life, and
goodbye phone and car insurance, which I expected. Anyways, I'm
currently at my boyfriend's but I need some help.

Speaker 4 (01:01:12):
Where do I go? What do I do? I feel
like I have no future?

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Do what?

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
That's crazy? That's crazy?

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
What I again?

Speaker 6 (01:01:21):
I've said this time and time again. I do not
understand parents who are so attached to the idea of
what they want their child's life to be, yeah, that
they would rather kick their child out than believe in
their child's dream.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
It's giving the you have to be a doctor or yeah,
you don't know who you are, or a lawyer. You
have to do something big. That's so sad. I did
not see that coming. I thought she was gonna swing it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
But kicking her out, dude, no, no, no, nikes.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
Also, that's not natural. I didn't know that. What kicking
your kid out at eighteen? In the world, you don't
kick them out until they get married. I refuse to
tell my mother I'm pregnant. I don't want her, and.

Speaker 4 (01:02:00):
Well, I guess there's only two to tango.

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
I don't know if my family has read it, so
no names here. So I twenty female, have finally caught
my mother forty female off after her treatment towards me
for years. My mother has always favored my siblings, especially
my sister, since she believes everything my mother says as
a fact. I guess, by the way, this comes from
any astronaut in nineteen sixty nine, and if you would

(01:02:23):
have smit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay.
Storytime subured it so well. When I found out I
was expecting in January, I made the decision not to
tell my mother, as she has always told me since
I knew I was spicy relatedly active, that if I
ever have a kid, I better not bring it to her.
That means for watching them or just visiting, because she
would turn them against me and get them to act

(01:02:46):
as misbehaved as she could. My mother has done plenty
of things to me in my life, and I will
go into those if I wanted to, because it will
honestly probably help out just to get it out. But
to simplify it a little bit, she had me a
rested on false charges. She has used traumatic things that
have happened to me as excuses for why I can't

(01:03:08):
do things, and when confronted about it, she says she
never said it or that she never knew about the
trauma I went through. She's also stolen my car because
she was mad at me for stuff I never did.
She tried selling it said car behind my back as well.
After losing custody of all three of us when I
was around twelve to thirteen. This is also when she
had me arrested for false charges. These charges were not little, no,

(01:03:32):
it was a felony charge, and the officer who arrested
me realized this and sent me with someone I knew
i'd be safe with till the following Monday to let
things calm down for the weekend. That didn't work for her,
so she went and called the police for the county
I was in and told them they needed to come
and get me and take me to my grandparents' house.
I didn't know any of this. I just got told
to get in the cops car when he pulled up

(01:03:52):
to the house. I was dropped off with my grandparents
and left. But back to the other point I was
making when she lost custody, of us. She didn't care,
or at least it didn't seem like it. She barely
showed up, even with her having the ability to visit
whenever she wanted. Then she decided, I'm moving to Florida,
but that meant she wasn't going to visit at all,
which I think was her goal while she was living

(01:04:13):
off life without the worry of her kids or having
to take care or deal with them. My grandparents were mentally, socially, emotionally,
and physically taking advantage of me, but wouldn't say or
do anything to my siblings. To them, my sister was
a golden child who did no wrong, and my brother
was just there. But I was the scapegoat for everything.
My sister messed something up, my fault. My brother talks back,

(01:04:34):
it's my fault. They could go out with whomever they wanted,
whenever they wanted, but if I wanted to, I had
to have one of them with me at old times,
as I wasn't to be trusted. I left their house
five or six times in total the first year there.
That's it. But I wasn't at school. I was there.
If those five or six times, I was able to
go somewhere I was accompanied by a sibling except for
two since I was going to my friend's house and

(01:04:55):
I wasn't able to invite people myself since it wasn't
my house, which they were not happy about, but I didn't
want others to see that, though they let me go
by myself so they could look good to others. Lots
of other things happened here, but due to all of
this and other factors in my life, I was ready
to go away for good. I knew how, when, why, where.
I knew it all and even wrote some letters. And

(01:05:15):
when I called my mom, you think she immediately want
to know what's going on to make me want to
do that, But no, she heard it was a thought
and immediately call the cops to have them come and
take me to a hospital for a mental hold, or
just straight up take me to a mental hospital. My
mother has never wanted me. She constantly hurts me over
and over and expects me to always forgive it and
ignore it. She found out I was pragos from the

(01:05:36):
people I was babysitting for after they were told not to.
Because I didn't want her in any way to know
after they told her, I told her no. When she
called and the first time I went over to get
my stuff from her apartment that I guess she forgot
the first time to give it to me. I squatted
down to grab her little dog and she tells me
to stand up so she can look at me. Then
after I stam back up, she proceeded to start rubbing

(01:05:56):
my stomach as if I was a dog. When she
was rubbing my belly, she then proceeded to say that
if I was and I didn't tell her, she was
gonna be extremely pissed off about it. Like one, it's
my child, I decide when I want to announce it
to everyone. And two I could give an f less
if you get mad that I don't tell you right away.
I feel like this is probably going to get confusing.
If I need to clarify anything, let me know. But

(01:06:18):
am I the a hole here? Also, like I said,
it's not all she has done, but this is some
of what she has WEE man, a tough situation. I
think you are.

Speaker 6 (01:06:30):
Clearly not the a hole, but you should very much
get out of this place. You should get out of
this place. Yeah, because uh, your mom is not supportive.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
Oh, absolutely not. But after she found out when I
posted about the day after Mother's Day and someone showed her.
I guess. She called me twice in a row. I
was going to deal with her spam calling my phone
till I answered, so I messaged what's up? Since I
didn't want to talk to her, She said call me
when you get a chance. So to get over with it.
Since she wouldn't give me a reason for her to
call over text, I called her her exists when she answered,

(01:07:01):
were congratulations, you have successfully done all the above. Lie
to me, Ami, nate me out of your life, and
let someone else tell me that you're pregnant. And all
I could say was is that all you called for?
You didn't have anything to say about that, do I
started to tell her that at this point of my life, no,
she wasn't going to know about them or ever meet
them due to her actions towards me. She started to

(01:07:22):
go off on me all about it and at the
end tried calling me a butt for doing it. So
I said she was the butt due to her reaction
to me after she found out. I also have the
conversation on video. If she ever tried to say she didn't,
I can send it to her and show her. She did,
but I will not post it. Also to answer a
comment from the other post, mainly because of hope that

(01:07:42):
she would change after being told what she was doing
isn't right, which I tried doing multiple times forever, even
finding out I was pregnant. But I also never had
anyone who would just stand by me. It wouldn't try
the oh, but she's your mom, just give her another chance.
She can change until now. The father of my baby
is absolutely amazing, and when I found out we were expecting,

(01:08:03):
he knew she was a handful and I had told
him about her when she still had my car after
stealing it as of now, just gotten a bag not
long ago, and was dealing with that while the beginning
of my pregnancy. She had the car since like September
or October of last year, and like I said in
the other post, wouldn't give it back at all because
she was mad at me, but she would try and
get me on the phone just to yell at me

(01:08:24):
and start arguments. So I asked if he would be
a good go between for us, and you had no
problem doing it. You also realize that she wasn't going
to keep being able to get to me because of it,
and he has continued to help me with getting her
either stop with the behavior and making sure I don't
have to keep her in my life if I don't
want to. Sophia, when you think about this father of
the baby.

Speaker 6 (01:08:44):
I feel like we have heard very little about him,
just that Ope thinks he's great.

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:08:48):
How old are they? Do we know?

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
It seems like she's twenty. I think she's twenty.

Speaker 4 (01:08:52):
Yeah. I think that you need to get away.

Speaker 6 (01:08:55):
I mean, it seems like you have some sort of
you know, like you still rely on your mom in
some way. But I think that the second that you can,
if you can financially, I mean, if you aren't already
financially independent from your mom, you should be. And I
think you have to have some extreme distance from your
mother if she's stolen your car and done all this
horrible stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
The best Opie is twenty.

Speaker 4 (01:09:15):
Yeah, mom is forty. I think you got to get
away from her.

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
While I will always love her in some way. I
did cry the other day when I was by myself
due to the fact that I wish I could just
hold my mom, But it was also a mix of
the fact that I think it was my way of
starting to grieve the loss of who I wanted her
to be as a mom, or even the fact that
she's never going to be that way for me. So
I have to let her go in order to start
healing myself from me and my baby. Also, it's a

(01:09:41):
baby boy for anyone who was wanting to know. Yeah,
and we should be making his appearance sometime in September,
because we all know the do day is just a guess,
but they can't be for sure it's that day, so
I'm just superstitious about telling the dates. And yeah, it's
probably late September. Yeah, that's great, let's go. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:09:57):
I think you are not grieving the loss of a
relie relationship with your mom.

Speaker 4 (01:10:01):
You're grieving the loss of.

Speaker 6 (01:10:02):
A like imagined relationship. I don't think you ever had
that with her, and unfortunately, I don't think she can
ever give.

Speaker 4 (01:10:09):
It to you.

Speaker 6 (01:10:10):
Yeah, so like, find find other people in your life
who can give you that security and that you know love.

Speaker 4 (01:10:16):
And it seems like your your baby daddy is doing
that to an extent.

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, it seems like he's a pretty
solid guy.

Speaker 6 (01:10:21):
I think right now it's focusing on creating the new
family unit. Between you, your baby daddy, and the baby
that no longer includes your mother.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
Agreed

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I FORBID my husband to be at my birth… he prioritizes his mother over me! | Reddit Stories