I found my father’s SECRET messages… I told him to come clean! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is johnnys Is Sam your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
We have some great stories coming up.

Speaker 3 (00:05):
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
from the sponsors that keep the show alive. I found
my father's secret messages. I told them to come clean.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Secret message, secret message. Perfect grown up.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
I've female twenty seven, always had this perfect family life,
happy mother and father and three kids. Both my parents
worked very hard and we all had a loving, stable upbringing.
By the way, this comes from other other and if
you want to spend your own stories, go to the
r Slashowkay Storytime separate it. So, my father has always
worked full time and done over time to help us

(00:39):
get by. When my siblings and I were kids, my
mother worked part time and my father was still learning English,
so he was working lower paying jobs. This meant my
mom took on all the domestic admin from the mortgage
to the cars, finances, pensions, everything. My dad learned English properly,
got a higher paying job, and me and my siblings
grew up. My mom went back to working full time,

(01:00):
but my dad never learned to do any of the
admin stuff that's annoying. He also never cooks, cleans, or
does anything around the house without being asked multiple times.
My mother is amazing and she has taken on the
weight of the entire family herself. But as I've grown up,
I've resented my dad more and more for not helping
and supporting her with everything. For the past couple of months,

(01:21):
I've been a little suspicious of my dad. It started
when a colleague at work asked if he could give
lifts to their daughter to work. He told us he's
been giving them a lift and it turns out it's
a girl in her twenties. Let's call her Hannah. Uh oh.
My mom didn't like it and told him to think
of what people would think if they saw him driving
around with a young girl in his car. My parents

(01:43):
are both in their fifties. They had a few arguments
about this, and during this time I snooped through my
dad's work phone. I found Hannah, and it didn't seem
hugely inappropriate apart from the fact that she was making
him smoothies for breakfast.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Guilty what she put in those?

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Those are illegal smoothies. It probably put protein powder in
those smoothies. Oh.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Eventually, I think he stopped giving her lips because of
what my mom said. I checked his phone a few
times after that and found nothing. The last couple of weeks,
I've been suspicious again because when going out for his
daily walk at night. This is normal for him. He's
been coming back in to get his work phone, saying
he forgot it and needs to take it in case
his personal phone runs out of battery. He's got two phones, suspicious.

(02:31):
That was a red flag for me. I knew I
had to check his phone again. Oh pie, is you
should just keep the phone at this point, right, You're
checking out so much, so much. This weekend, I found
his phone in the bathroom and I checked it. No
messages from that girl, but there was a message from
a woman, let's call her Elena. The texts were definitely

(02:52):
romantic and spicy related, but didn't indicate whether anything physical
had happened or not.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Oh no, uh oh oh, Who's Elena?

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Who is she?

Speaker 3 (03:02):
I then saw he had been calling her late at
night while on his walks during work hours, and video calling.
I was crushed. I knew what this was. I took
photos of everything. I couldn't sleep that night and cried
more than I have ever before. I'm still in shock now.
I knew my mom needed to know, but didn't know
how to approach anything. I needed to know if something

(03:24):
physical had already happened, so I snooped again. I went
into his recently deleted messages and found two conversations, one
with Elena and one with Hannah. Turns out he's still
giving her lifts to and from work. The messages seemed
a little bit thirty and he was calling her pet names.
You no, I don't want to know bad, But it

(03:47):
wasn't anywhere near as bad as what I was about
to read an Elena's conversation. All I will say is
that it confirmed to me one one hundred percent that
they have been seeing each other at least since August
twenty twenty four, and that they have definitely had spicy sleep.
It was absolutely horrible. I took photos of everything I found,
and after hours of panicking trying to figure out what
to do, I decided to confront him. He acted as

(04:11):
if he had no idea at first. Then when I
said I Lena's name and quoted some of the messages
he sent her, he knew this was real. He said,
let's go for a drive so your mother doesn't get nervous.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Oh that's honest.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
That is scary.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
It's like the drive that Christopher walk and takes John
to turn on in Severance.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Oh yeah, irving, Irving Bert right, scary, scary.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
I was shaking so much, and as soon as we
got in the car, I couldn't hold back.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
I shouted and screamed and cried.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
And told him he's ruined everything. He kept saying they
were just stupid messages. Nothing happened, I told them, and
I'm not stupid and I know what those texts mean.
And he just kept on denying having done anything more
than send stupid texts, that they were jokes. For the record,
there is no way I have misinterpreted those texts.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
They're very clear.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
He's not the person I thought he was, and I
feel like everything has been alive. I said, I've lost
all respect for him, and I could tell that really
hurt him. In that moment, I didn't care at all.
I wasn't even thinking. I was just saying everything that
came out. I was recording on my phone the whole time, though,
because I knew i'd forget it later out of anger
and sadness. I told him he has to tell my

(05:21):
mom everything he said about the text, and I said,
I don't know what.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
The truth is. Just tell her the whole truth.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
He doesn't know. I took photos of everything I found.
He was very scared at this point, saying about how
upset she's gonna be, and he has to think about
our family. Oh, now you have to think about their family.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, you kind of already crossed that line, bud. Maybe
you should have thought about your family before.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
You're cheated on your wife. Maybe this made me even angrier.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
I told him he has one day to do it,
otherwise I'm telling her, oh man. I spent the whole
day at home yesterday waiting for him to tell her
so I could be there afterward for my mom. He
couldn't find the right time, he said, and I told
him there would never be a right time to say
something like this. He was quiet and daydreaming the whole day.
My mom kept asking if he was okay and if

(06:08):
he felt ill. I heard him say that he has
a stomach ache and a headache and just doesn't feel right.
My poor mom made him herbal tea and took him
upstairs so they could lie in bed and he could rest.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh. Oh, no, he doesn't deserve this woman.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
This is the right time. I don't know. I thought
he was waiting. He's a coward. He's a coward.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
He doesn't want to own up to his mistakes. To
be fair, he did look awful the whole day. I
started feeling a bit guilty for being so hard on him,
but then I reread the messages with Elena and all
of my guilt was gone again. This was at eleven
pm last night. I told him it was too late
as my mom was going to bed, so I said
he has to do it today after work, and if
he doesn't, then.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
I'm going to tell her. I just don't know if
I really have been too hard on him or not.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
Who cares, he's a cheeter.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yeah, I've never dealt with anything like this before, so
I have no idea what to do. I just did
what was natural to me because I knew this had
to stop and my mom had to know. Am I
the A hole? And there are some comments and an update?

Speaker 2 (07:08):
But what say you? I say, no, not the a hole,
not the a hole at all.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, this is definitely like like we've said. It's like
if you're not hardened him like this, nothing's ever gonna
come from it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
I mean just the fact that you, like, you know,
you said, hey, you need to tell mom and he
still hasn't done it. You might need to be a
little harder on him, Yeah, hard Yeah, because clearly he's
not scared enough by your threats. So you need to
either follow through and tell your mom or say, like
you know, really needle into him exactly. Comment one says,
not the a hole, but get up early and tell

(07:42):
your mom yourself tomorrow. You can't keep giving him chances
and he will do nothing. He's blown away and tells
her you told him to come clean, but he's refused.
That you've discovered he's cheating with both Elena and Hannah,
and that you have proof he's actually sleeping with Elena,
that he keeps trying to lie and downplay it. But
you've seen all his texts, and the one needs to
that him being ill yesterday was him refusing to tell

(08:03):
you and hoping I would betray you by keeping quiet.
That it turns out he never stopped driving Hannah and
he's admitted it. But you far more proof with Elena
and that he phones her on long walks every night
and during work, and it's also when they possibly meet
up to have spicy sleep at night and then basically
just tell him everything that's going on. Ope, he responds,
I've considered this before I confronted my dad, but a

(08:23):
friend told me it should be his responsibility to tell her,
not mine. It should be but if he doesn't, unfortunately,
it does fall to you, right So I told him
he has to do it. I did say last night
that if he doesn't do it today that I'm telling her.
I do think you're right about not giving him chances.
I hate that he's even had this long.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Honestly.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
The only reason I'm giving him another chance is because
my siblings were going up and down the stairs yesterday,
so there wasn't any privacy. I'll be the same. It'll
be the same today, though, so I'm going to try
and keep them upstairs. Well, they're downstairs. Thank you so
much for your reply.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Comment two.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
What is his plan?

Speaker 3 (08:59):
Is he going to keep seeing her? Opie says, sorry,
I forgot to mention. He told me yesterday that he
deleted her contact and everything, and that when he goes
back to work today he was going to talk to
her to say to never talk to him again. He
said they started becoming friendly because they have the same
first language and she doesn't speak English very well, so
we had to translate for her sometimes. He said he
was stupid and joked around with her and someone else,

(09:21):
but it was nothing more than that. So in his eyes,
it started with needing to translate and escalated to other
favors and jokes that got out of hand, but was
never more than that.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
But we already know it was. Yeah, he's still lying, right,
it's pretty safe to assume that something's happened when she's
he's showing up at her place at night.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
And also, like Opie says, the text kind of confirmed
that they had a physical relationship and the fact that
he is still lying is just ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's not that hard for jokes to
not get out of hand.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah, you know, just stop stop joking like that man exactly.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
That's how they know each other and how he started
to translate for her. And there is an update.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Oh boy, let's.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Dive right into it because I have the same advice. Yeah,
nothing's gonna change.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
My dad called me around lunchtime and said he's really
not doing good. He said he can't concentrate on anything
and hasn't slept. I told him that's normal, and neither
can I. I reiterated that it has to be today,
and he said he's going to try and go out
with her. So it's away from my siblings. I said,
I can try to keep them upstairs and they can
talk downstairs, or I can take them out somewhere. Probably

(10:30):
take them out somewhere. Yeah, that's a good idea, given
that there might be yelling. I got home around twenty
minutes ago. Dad's not home yet, but Mom is, and she'
said the worst day. She starts a new job tomorrow
and bought a laptop for it on the weekend. The
laptop hasn't been working, so she spent the whole day
on the phone with customer service and we'll have to
return it and pick a new one up tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
She said.

Speaker 3 (10:50):
She's so stressed and I'm so worried about what's to come.
Update two. It happened yesterday. Finally I texted my dad
saying Mom was going out to return the laptop so
he could go with her. The place was like ten
minutes away. My dad came home and they went out
and took over an hour. I texted my mom to
ask if everything was okay, and she said yes. When
they came home, they seemed okay. I hugged my mom

(11:12):
and she cried. She said she's sad about the three
messages my dad sent, but she'll get over them. She
just wanted to see them, and he's deleted them.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
So she can't. Yeah. Three three is he lying? Yeah again?
Is he lying again? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (11:28):
I think I mean as soon as he said that,
like the he deleted the messages. Yeah, you could think that,
or he could say that it's because he wants to
end things. But part of it is so that he
doesn't have to show her exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
It's like I don't want the proof.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
Yeah, she said, she just wanted to know if it
had been more than messaging, although we promised it hadn't been.
I told her I took photos of everything I found,
so I would show her everything if she wanted to
see it. She said yes. So I said to my dad,
you told mom the whole truth, didn't you.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
He said yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
I said, okay, because I took photos of everything, and
I'm going to show her now, so there'll be.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
No surprises, will there. He said no.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
We went upstairs and my dad went out for a walk.
The thing is, my dad didn't know I had taken
photos of everything, and he doesn't know that deleted messages
go to the cycleman and stay for thirty days, so
he has no idea I knew about all of those.
First of all, I showed my mom the messages with
Hannah that had been deleted.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
She was in shock.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
She said he's a liar, and she couldn't understand why.
I told her it doesn't seem like anything was going
on with Hannah, but he was definitely being flirtatious, and
she was so angry. I also showed her a few
one off messages I found with other people from work.
Oh my god, so not just Hannah, not just Elena,
but like other people, multiple multiple.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
People at work, because he did say like he started
talking to her and someone else about inappropriate jokes.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Then I showed her the first three messages with Elenna.
Those were the ones my dad had forgotten to delete.
So I saw those first, and that's what made me
keep digging to find everything else which had been deleted.
That's all my dad thought I had seen, and that's
all he had confessed to my mom just with those,
she was already disgusted. Then I prepared her for what
she was about to see. I checked multiple times that

(13:14):
she definitely wanted to see everything, and I told her
she wouldn't be able to unsee them after, but she
was sure. When she saw the extent of the messages,
she was so so, so upset, angry everything at once.
I showed her the dates and times he was messaging
her and how it's usually when he goes out for walks.
I showed her the times he had called her and
video called her, and she wanted to know when the

(13:36):
first ever call her message was sent. I showed her
August twenty twenty four and told her I don't think
that would have been the first thing, as it was
a video call. She couldn't believe it, she kept saying,
almost a year. He's been lying for almost a year.
At this point, she knew everything I knew, and we
heard my dad come home. He came upstairs and my
mom straight away confronted him and called him a liar

(13:59):
and a cheat. Again, he denied it, and my mom
took my phone out of my hand and showed it
to him his face didn't change, but he was staring
at my mom.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
He was completely frozen, and then said, it's not what
it looks like. What does it look like? I don't
buy it.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
What does it look like? Buddy? Yeah, so what do
you mean? It's not what it looks like?

Speaker 3 (14:17):
Right then, my mom read through the messages out loud,
and he was just staring.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
He had tears in his eyes.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
My mom asked him when they had spicy sleep and where,
and he kept saying they hadn't, over and over again.
Then my dad asked if they could speak alone, and
I left. I went downstairs, where my sisters were panicking
because they had overheard parts of the fight and were
very scared about what was going on. I didn't tell
them because I said my mom has to say it.
They were angry at me, but I told them I

(14:44):
can't betray Mom. While I was downstairs, my dad told
my mom everything. Later on, my mom told me that
as my dad works with Elena, apparently they have opposing shifts,
meaning that when he's at work, she's at home, and
she lives very close to where they were.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
Oh no, ohang.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
He has been leaving work during the day to go
to her house. And have spicy sleep.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
This man sticks.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
Just the extent of the betrayal is bottomless.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah. Wow, Like he still lied more about like how
he started then too, because how it started honestly, like
it sounded innocent at first with just the talking, yeah
and like that stuff. But obviously, you know, not innocent
going into cheating. But if they have opposing shifts, how
are they talking at work so much?

Speaker 2 (15:34):
Exactly?

Speaker 3 (15:34):
She was absolutely devastated, and she said that she can
say with one hundred percent certainty that in almost thirty
years they've been married that she has never done anything
inappropriate with another person. I feel so bad for my mom.
The hardest thing is that my whole life, my mom
has always said that the most important thing to her
is the family unit and having everyone together. Her parents

(15:57):
divorced when she was a teenager because of my grandfather.
There's infidelity to my grandmother. Nopen No, that's tragic, oh man, tragic,
and my mom has always said it was the worst
thing that ever happened to her. She was never told
the extent of the infidelity, and as a result of
growing up without her father for most of our teenage

(16:17):
years and my grandmother refusing to ever speak badly of
him to her children. She grew up idolizing him, which
all came crashing down when she became an adult and
realized what he actually was like and how he treated
my grandmother. This has been very traumatic for my mom
and she's never really gotten over it. And now she's
got this, she's got to relive that trauma with her
own husband.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah, because I mean, so many people like, excuse me,
so many people like who have divorced parents are always
scared that that's gonna happen to them, And so the
fact that this is happening in the same exact way
is like, I mean, I don't know if they're gonna
get divorced yet, but like you can assume.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
Can assume. Gosh.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
At Christmas, she told me that because of everything that
happened with her parents, she became obsessed with having the
perfect family unit and always craved it all. She said
that this craving is what has turned her into the
woman that accepts anything her husband does, because the most
important thing is that she keeps the family together.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
I told her yesterday that this stuck in my mind
and since finding this out, I couldn't stop thinking about that.
I told her that she needs to take time for
herself and decide what she really wants, and that this
is a completely valid reason to separate if she wants to.
She said, she needs to think. I asked my mom
if I did the right thing by forcing my dad
to tell her, and she said yes and thanked me

(17:32):
for it. She said she's so glad she found out
and that she knows the extent of it. She said
it would have been much worse if she'd believe that
it was just those three messages and then later found
out it was more than that and she'd believed him.
But you can believe us that we have full episodes
of stories just like this. If you get to Spotify,
Apple podcast or iHeartRadio and.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
Search a book a storytime. Wow, you gotta believe it.
Got to believe it. But there is a little bit
left to this story. Man, oh man, Wow, breaking, heart breaking.
I mean, just just having having to relive this, it's crazy.
Probably her biggest fear coming true. Yeah, I mean wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Hopefully she doesn't just push through this to have the
family unit, you know.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, it seems like she kind of knows herself a
little bit better. Now and is realizing, you know, why
she put up with behavior like this, right, so hopefully
she realizes, oh, I shouldn't continue to put up with
behavior like this, and I should leave this relationship.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
But clearly isn't working.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Exactly, and there's still possibly ways to be a family,
like yeah, the whole family is broken up or anything,
you know, Like, obviously this is gonna be a tough
time and gonna take a lot of time to you know,
move on from. But you could still have a good
family unit, just.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Maybe not in the way you expect it.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yeah, just in a non traditional sense, right, But there
is a little bit left to this story. Thank you
everyone for your help and support with this for my
own senate, it really helped me to hear other people's
opinions while I was dealing with this basically on my own.
Although it has been an absolutely horrible forty eight hours,
now that it's out in the open, it does feel

(19:10):
like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm
finally out of this personal heck I've been in. My
poor mom and sisters are at the first stages of
dealing with this, but now I can help them as
much as possible. Because I'm a few days ahead of
them in this process. Thank you everyone, And that is
the end of that story. Wow youch yikes, dude, I mean,

(19:31):
good on Ope again for kind of having to take
all of us on and taking it on with a
lot of grace and immediately making sure that their mother
found out.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeah, that's good. Good for not keeping the secret too.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
Very good.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
Yeah, I think it's just about now. It's about you know,
being there as a support system for your mom, right,
but also you know, making sure that you're kind to
yourself because this also affected you. Right, This is your
family and your dad who has betrayed not only your
mom but also you your sibling.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
Yeah, tough man, tough time. But that is the end
of that story. So we're gonna jump into the next one.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
I discovered that we have another sibling, and the guilt
is eating me alive. A long last sibling.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Oh my goodness, what do you do?

Speaker 1 (20:16):
This is actually from an okay storytime separated it. What
of our fans sibling?

Speaker 2 (20:21):
Dude? That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
Okay, I'm going to make this as short and sweet
as possible. I thirty three female have a family that
has always been close mother fifty four, father fifty five,
and me and two younger siblings, Lee twenty nine female
and Anthony twenty six male. By the way, that comes
from a success primary And if you want to submit
me your own stories, go to the art slush Okay, storytime,
supredit join us. So, being the oldest, I've always been

(20:47):
the protector and tried to shield as much as I
could from the littles while we were younger. Our childhood
had some rough patches, but all in all, we all
turned out to be decent humans. Hellwell, all of us
have ended up getting pretty good jobs and making our
own way. I have two great kiddos and a wonderful husband.
Anthony is engaged to a fantastic woman and they have
a beautiful boy. Lee is an absolute unit of an aunt,

(21:09):
but is a single pringle.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
What is unit of an ant mean? Like she's a
great aunt? I think so. I think that's is like
a unit. Yeah, she's a unit of aunt. Yeah. I
think that's like a praise praise word.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
I don't hear it used a lot, but I usually
only hear it used in the context of life, like
like a group oh no, oh no, Like when you
say like someone's an absolute unit like three oh yeah, big,
oh yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
Just she's just just that, that's strong of an aunt.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yeah, she's a single pringle doesn't want kids, and we're
all here for it and most importantly for each other. Now.
Last July twenty twenty four, crapkind crazy. I worked a
third shift at the same place that my sister works first,
so we see each other almost every morning. It was
about ten o'clock that evening and I got a random
message request on Facebook.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
I saw the first couple of words.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
On the notification and it seemed like the scam crappy
get so I ignored it for a minute, but once
I sat down for a break, I opened it up.
It was a message from a woman about her sister
who she grew up with and they were both adopted.
The sister had found her biofamily and was attempting to
help her sister find hers. My flabbers were gasted. At first.

(22:23):
I was like, haha, no way, but she dropped names, dates,
and details, and I was too convinced to ignore this anymore.
I molded over for a while, but I messaged her
back and asked for more info. I ended up with
my supposed older sister's number, she would be thirty five.
I will now say that I kind of had a

(22:43):
precursor to this, because my mother had told me something
about this before, like thirteen years ago. The mom said
I was eighteen Pregger's by man that I wasn't in
love with and not ready to be a mom. I
wasn't living at home and only saw my family once
a month or so at that point, so I I
was keeping it to myself and trying to figure out
what to do. I personally knew a few very good

(23:05):
and wonderful people who were magnificent parents to children they
were not able to have. They only became parents because
of the gift that someone else had given them, and
I was ultimately prepared to do just that. I was
going to give my baby to someone who had their
life together and wanted so badly to be a parent,
where I wasn't exactly in any way ready. My mother
quickly said, Nope, You're going.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
To be a mama.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
After I told my parents, we were just kind of
butting heads over this for a while, and I just
couldn't understand why she couldn't see where I was coming from.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
One night, she cornered me.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
After some tears were shed by me, she plainly said,
I have done it and I regret it.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
You won't do the same. And that was it. That
was the only talk there ever was about it. I
think this is saying this.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
I think had a kid and was going to give
it up, and the mom was like, just mentioned I
was in your place once. Yeah, yeah, because she did say,
like she just mentioned something about it. Seeing this whole story.
This doesn't seem like she would just mention this whole story,
you know. But that last line, Yeah, so he.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Had a kid or.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
Was gonna give it up until the mom gave her
a very ominous yeah advice.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
WHOA.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
I did have the internal crisis of I have another
sibling out there somewhere, but there would be no finding
out anything, considering I knew no details and the only
person who could provide any you wouldn't. So I kind
of just had to file that away in the no
touchy cabinet in my brain. But now we're gonna figure
some crap out. So I'm gonna say that we're close
as siblings, but my brother and I are on the

(24:36):
same brain wavelength and our sister is not. We all
have our quirks and such a boat. We all have
a bond with one another, separately as well as collectively.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
I knew that I had to tell them, but I couldn't.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
I knew me and Anthony could handle this better than Leep,
so I talked to him and his fiance about it.
My husband was first to have his mind blown, of course,
and he was absolutely confused, but supportive and helpful to
say that. So Anthony, his fiance, me and Mayabi had
a little pow wow and decided that if we were
going to talk to Lee about it, we needed proof first.

(25:08):
Me and le are super critical thinkers and we will
pick things apart in the second So if we were
going to drop this bomb on her, we needed receipts.
Well we got them. I DNA tested and sent her
one as well. That six weeks was the longest wait
of my life, but we finally got it. Now, this
was a little crazy because you see people finding half

(25:29):
siblings all the time, but she was a full blooded sister.
She was my mom and my dad's first child. WHOA
what she must have been like really young or something.
Ready made that decision to give her up right right?
Oh my gosh, gilt I felt was immense, gut wretching, like,

(25:50):
what's the catch here? Why did they let her go
but keep me? Just two years later?

Speaker 2 (25:54):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Two years can be like a huge could make a difference,
huge difference in where you are financially in life. You
know where you were mentally, And I wonder if there
were any like outsider pressures. Well, I mean you have
here the mom trying to pressure up he into a
decision based off of her own life experience. But yeah,
probably have other people in the mom's life who were right.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
You who I can't right of the kid? You're not
ready to have a child? Right right?

Speaker 1 (26:19):
That's very possible. Our newly acquired sibling is probably the
most level headed and sensible person I've ever come in
contact with. She literally is in the state of if
she doesn't want to know me, that's fine. I just
now know who my family is, and that's fine by me. Okay,
we all have questions and more questions, with some more questions,
but we had a get together at our place one

(26:39):
night with dinner and no kids, and we told Lee.
She was surprised as heck, without a doubt, but she
took it so much better than I expected, thank God,
But now we all know, but our parents don't know
that we know. So our oldest sister, Beth doesn't live
far from us and has two babes of her own.
We have talked to her through text and we are

(27:00):
noticing blaring similarities and it's crazy. But I am at
such a standstill with approaching our parents about this. I
know that this is going to tear a hole in
my mother's heart. It's been thirty five years. I do
not want to hurt my mother. I would love to
go and just tell her and get it off my chest,
but what is that going to do to her. Beth
did try to contact her first, but with no response,

(27:22):
so I was next in line. But lo and behold,
my mother did email her back a week before the
results came back and pretty much said, yes, it's me.
Your search is over. I hope you had a wonderful
life and I wish you the best, but please respect
my wishes regarding the decision that was made so long ago.
I don't know if she's trying to keep it from us,
or if she's doing it because it hurts that much.

(27:43):
I'm so conflicted now I'm being heyckled by those who
know about it and care. Did you have the talk yet? No?

Speaker 2 (27:49):
When are you going to? I have no idea.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm so scared of how she's going to react. But
I also want to meet and get to know my sister,
and so do lead Anthony. But I have put my
foot down on both of them about that. I would
not feel right going and meeting and getting to know
her and introducing kids and such behind my mom's back.
But you, guys would feel right if you just find
more episodes of full stories just like this one. Just

(28:12):
go to II Radio, Apple Podcasts or Spotify and search. Okay,
story time, You'll feel so right, have no doubt that
that's the right decision.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
To so much better, so much better.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Feeling a little sick and speak, just watch us and
boom feel better. You're you're better. Yeah, there's a little
bit more to this story. But wow, wow, wow, I
still want to know. I want to know the story smart,
you know, I.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
Mean, well one.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
I think my advice for op is go talk to
your mom, yep, regardless of what her decision is, you know,
regarding your your sister and the relationship that she does
or does not want to have with your sister, you
are still completely allowed to have a relationship with.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
I think it's just like you go to your mom
you say, hey, I know you were reached out to, right,
we were also reached out too, and we want to
have a relationship.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
With our sister. Yeah, she can't.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Really tell you no, but I think that is considerate
to tell her that that's happening.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Right. If she does have a problem with it, you
can just say, please respect my wishes in this decision
that I'm making. Yeah, right, exactly words. Yeah, Yeah, there
is a little bit more. Yes, I am concerned with
my dad's feelings too. I'm just not sure about all
the details of the whole situation. So I would really
like to just one on one with my mom to
figure that out. Our father has never been the lovey,

(29:26):
emotional or super understanding father figure. He's more rough and rugged,
and all of us have had a heat streak in
us blessed to us from him. So do not think
I'm saying he was a bad father. He provided and
did what he could. He had a problem with Booze
when we were young, and I'm the only one old
enough to remember the real rough times, but he got
his crap together and he is absolutely a wonderful pop off.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
So any insights on this would help.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
And I know everyone is just gonna say tell her
and get it over with, but this is a tender
situation that.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Is gnawing at me, and that is it. WHOA what
would we say? What should O P do?

Speaker 1 (30:03):
I think I think you go to your mom and
you say like, hey, I don't want to pressure you
to do anything that you don't want to do or
that you don't feel ready to do, right, and then
you kind of go into that like as you know,
like you received some correspondence, so did we?

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:20):
I thought about it, and I want to have a
relationship with my sister mm hm. And you know, again
that doesn't have to mean that you need to do anything,
but that's good.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Right, Yeah, Yeah, I think that's a good way to
say it.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Just like ease her in China, to put that pressure
on her and just be very honest about what you
want to do or what you are going to do. Yeah,
moving forward exactly. It's like really in asking for permission,
it's just letting her know that it's happening.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Yeah, but that is the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Hey, it's say, I'm your og host here bring it
back to the stories.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
But here's three minutes bads from a sponsor.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
I discovered the truth about my family from an Instagram message.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
That's the worst way to discover the truth about your family.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Edit. Let me clarify my title in this post.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
My mom is still my mom.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
When I say she isn't my real mom, it means
that she isn't my birth mother. Sorry, if it comes
off negative, that's definitely not what I wanted it to
come across.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
House.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
She did nothing wrong, all right, starting off, Mom did
nothing wrong.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
I did nothing wrong. Thing wrong.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Okay, let's start with some background. I was never really
clear on the details of my birth. All I knew
was that I was born in Dominican Republic in a
tiny clinic and lived there until I was three and
me and my family came to America for the second time.
By the way, this comes from deleted and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the art
slash Okay storytime subreddit. They were here before I was born,
but went back because supposedly my dad had a job

(31:42):
offer back in DRM, and they went back for a
couple of years and came back to America when I
was three.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
My siblings are eleven years older than me.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
I remember always complaining as a child about how there
were never any baby photos of me, not one. Every
photo I've seen. The youngest I have been was three
or four years old. They always told me that it
was because they got tired of taking photos after the
first two kids, my brother and sister, so they barely
took any of me. But the photos were somewhere in storage.

(32:09):
We moved around a lot and hard to get a
hold of it. Eventually I stopped asking, and I just
accepted the fact that I've never seen myself as a baby.
When I was twelve, I got a message on Facebook
from a girl claiming to be my cousin and that
she wanted to talk to me, but not to tell
my father because he didn't want us to talk.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
I was scared, so I ended up asking about it.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
He told me not to speak to her like she
said he would, because she was disowned after she engaged
in genetic copy pasting with a first cousin to be.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
Like incest or something.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
I think, so you're the first cousin and she's.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
A bad influence. Eikes, Yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
Okay, okay, he blocked her, and my twelve year old
self was more worried about other things, so I didn't
question any further. Fast forward to now I get messages
from the same girl on Instagram. She wrote a whole
essay in Spanish, which took me a while to understand,
fully because I don't usually read Spanish. She said that
my father had an affair with a woman named Jackie
when my brother and sister were around nine or ten

(33:08):
years old. She got pregnant and decided to keep the baby,
and so came out me. I have a sister named
Gabriella and two younger brothers, each from a different dad.
At this time, my dad, my mom, and brother and
sister were in Dominican Republic as well. Okay, so oh
he's in a fair baby, I guess. So that's what
this Instagram woman is telling us. My dad paid for

(33:30):
all of the expenses of my birth and was there
when I was born. She proceeded to show me all
these baby photos of myself with me, with my siblings,
with my grandmother, Jackie's mom, et cetera. Wait, okay, we
have proof, so ope's being.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
Let me get this straight. Op was being taken care
of by this family. Yes, bile, mom, I guess till
like three, I guess.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
So that is what Opie said at the very beginning,
was that like born in Dominican Republic, lived there until
they were three, and then yeah, then they moved to America.
Who She said that she would always take care of
me because I was the youngest, so she was my
main caretaker when my mother wasn't around. She also told
me that my mother passed away six years ago, and

(34:13):
before she passed, she wanted to see me, and my
dad said that he would take me to visit, but
he never did, so she passed away without being able
to see me. Once more, I started hyperventilating. I thought
this was some sick joke and somebody was effing with me.
She told me to ask my cousin to confirm this
and that it's true. I drove over to his house
freaking out, and I asked him please tell me I

(34:34):
was going crazy and she's just messing with my head.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
Fortunately, she was right. He told me they all knew.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
He thought I knew. No, He said, my dad rescued
me because my mother was poor and lived in a
bad area with bad influences, so he wanted to give
me a better life. He's really close to my dad,
and he told me to find out why he hid
it from me this long because it's effed up. This
is efed up. He was smoking Devil's lettuce. This will

(35:01):
be more important later. So I went home and confronted
my mom and dad. I calmly sat down and said,
I found things out today. I know Mom isn't my mom,
and I know I have another family. I know you
brought me here or rescued me or whatever when I
was three. I know she passed away six years ago
and asked for me, but you didn't take me to
go and see her.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
Sad Yeah, yeah, tragic.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Yeah, to not only find out that you've been kept
from the knowledge of your mother and also from her mother,
but also to know that you've been kept from her
when she asked for you before she passed away.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Right right.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
I know I'm trying to see how old how old
op he is right now, but we can't tell.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah, but you know it seems that like.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
Years ago, Opie still would have been able to remember it, right,
This isn't like an eight year old. That's that's saying this.
They stayed quiet or what seemed like forever. My dad
spoke up. He said, so that's the story you heard,
and I said, yes, but I need really answers. I
need to know why you didn't tell me. I need
to know the whole truth. So he gave it to me.

(36:05):
To be honest, your brother didn't like you very much.
What that girl said was true. She was the one
who would take care of you when your mother wasn't present,
which was all the time. She was a substance regular user.
She basically abandoned you and left Gabby to take care
of you while she would be out constantly doing substances,
drinking or whatever else she did. Lily was the one

(36:25):
who babysit you the rest of the time, would take
you to preschool and drop you back off at her house.
I'm not sure exactly how Jackie passed away. I think
she was eventually unlived because of the kind of life
she led. Oh wow, I only took you when you
were three, because that's when I finally gained custody of
you after fighting for years before that. Okay, so peaceful
was trying to get her Yeah wow, oh wow. She

(36:47):
only called me to ask me for money. She only
called about you once to say happy birthday, but it
wasn't even your birthday that day. I was waiting until
you turned eighteen so I could tell you. Even though
Lily isn't your biological mother, she's still your mom. She
raised you and loves you like her own. I don't
even know what else to say. I don't know what
to again from posting this. I'm just having a hard

(37:08):
time wrapping my head around all of this. I want
to see pictures of my real mom, Jackie. I want
to know what my family is like over there. I
think I feel so effing out of place in my family,
even though I grew up with them and I love
them to death. I can't recognize myself in the mirror. WHOA,
So this is all whole crisis have to everybody is
kind of changing.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
Yeah, but I think, okay, it's important for you to know,
like really really not okay that your family all kept
this from you for years, but you know you do
have people that love you.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Absolutely, And I think it's definitely better than I was
expecting it. I was expecting the dad to just be
like the bad guy. I guess if you call anyone
the bad guys trying to get you, and you know, yeah,
this whole time and things with like substance using and
everything is very hard to explain to child, very hard.
And I feel like, you know, if you're kind of

(37:58):
telling your kid like, no, you can can't meet your
like your biological mom or something like that, and they're
like nine years old, it's like it might be a
little it might be just very confusing about how to tell.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Yeah, I don't think you need to wait till exactly eighteen.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think like some sort of teen years, like thirteen
or fourteen, you could make a stake in not telling you.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
Absolutely right.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
So I have to go to work now, but I'm
gonna edit the post later tonight when I come back
to add more thing. Sorry I had to go to
the short but this is ninety percent of what's going
on right now.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
So what do I do? How do I deal with this?

Speaker 1 (38:28):
I woke up today and I thought last night was
a bad nightmare. There's an edit about the Devil's Lettuce.
Things blew up. My dad smelled the Devil's lettuce and
questioned me about it, and I wasn't thinking, so I
mentioned how the cousin I went to talk to in
person was smoking some on his balcony. This cousin in
question has smoked a lot in the past, and my
parents hate it, and they've given him crap for it.
One hundred percent. I apped up by not covering it up.

(38:51):
So the cousin texted me this morning, blowing up at
me because I feeled the beans, saying a bunch of
crap leg never could fighten me again. Don't ever call
me or come to my house. Your generation can't be trusted.
He's as old as my siblings and all that stuff.
I started freaking out and apologizing I wasn't thinking. We
talked about it, and we agreed that I would lie
to save his butt because it was the least I
could do.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
So I'm gonna say that I was smoking it and
I lie.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
He texted me saying that my dad talked to him
and he wants to hold a meeting tonight. Actually, as
I'm typing this right now, but the meeting hasn't started.
Oh wow, oh wow. No, we're not gonna take the
fall for yeah, because what like, do you know how
old the cousin is not exactly that his old as
your siblings which are eleven years older than Ope, Okay,

(39:36):
I'm sorry. And what is like twenty eight year old is.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Trying to make you take the fall?

Speaker 1 (39:43):
Yeah, he's an adult.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
He could deal with the consequences of people getting mad
at him for smoking, Like.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
I feel like they would get more mad at the
teenager smoking instead of this adult. No, don't take the
fall for him. It's not the least you can do.
He's manipulating you. But we do have an update eight.
So it's been a long time since I had posted this,
like three months. Basically, I've been a mess since then,
and I don't know how to process these feelings. It's
been three months and I haven't even fully registered the situation.

(40:11):
I don't know the Devil's let us issue. I ended
up telling my dad that I smelled like Devil's lettus
because I was with friends and.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
They were smiling.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
He didn't even care or focus on that at all,
and everyone got off my cousin's back. Yeah, I probably
should have let him crash and burn, but I'm not
like that. It was dumb and he'd getten more crap
than I would, which is why I took the ball
for it. They didn't. It worked out, okay, I guess him.
So those who were worried about the Devil's lettuce don't.
My cousin also apologized for reaming me because I let

(40:38):
that slip out, because he realized that I was going
through a hard time and it wasn't my fault for
not thinking. So now the meeting, My sister, brother and
dad sat me down that night. No beating around the bush,
We just went into it. They explained why they didn't
tell me, and they told me a few things about
my mom, like how she passed away. She got into
a car with some bad people and they unlived her.

(40:59):
This information still haunts me to this day.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
Some reason. I feel like that's a pretty ballad reason. Yeah, yeah,
that's really really hard. They asked me how I felt.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
I said I was angry and I felt lied to
and betrayed, and that it wasn't fair. I could have
met her before she passed away and I couldn't. I
started crying, and then I started laughing, like hysterically laughing,
because this is crap you see in movies, and I
just couldn't believe it. They said the rest of the.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Family, the older ones that knew just forgot about it all.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
I became a part of the family so quickly and
so young that they didn't look at me and think
of me as that kid that was born to another woman.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
I was family, and that made me feel a little better,
I guess.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Contacting my sister and two cousins, they made a group
chat and added me. They asked me a million and
one questions about my life when I'm studying, do I
have a boyfriend, et cetera.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
They showed me photos.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
My sister is Natalie, and my two cousins are Julie
and Sally. Sally, the older one, the one that reached
out through Instagram a few days afterwards, asked to talk
to me on the phone. I said, okay. I had
already sent them voice messages and current photos so they
could see what I looked like and sounded like. It
was fun. They wouldn't stop talking and they were freaking out.
It put me off a bit because I'm very, very shy.

(42:05):
But anyways, I talked to her on the phone. It
was my dad's phone. He was talking to her and
she asked to put me on. I was really awkward, though,
so it was a short conversation and I didn't want
to talk to her shortly after getting on the phone,
So issue number one. According to my dad, they're not
very trustworthy and they cause a lot of drama. I
didn't know what he meant.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
Until this happened.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Oh no. Sally messaged me a long message basically questioning
if it was really me who was sending her these
photos and voice messages, and if it was really me
on the phone?

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Girl, come on, come on.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
She was saying how she suspected my dad of putting
someone else on the phone and pretending like it was me.
Her reasoning was that sense I was so awkward and
cold and not as excited as her sister and my sister,
so my reaction was not the right one, and that
made her doubt me and my dad.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
Girl, she just found out that she has a sister. Yeah,
that's in it. Yeah, I get it. Sometimes you don't know.

Speaker 1 (42:59):
What to say to people that you've never met before
and are supposed to have this whole background. Sometimes you
don't know what to say. Okay, this seriously pissed me off,
because who the f would do something like that? She
thinks that my dad would go to these great lengths
to play pretend she didn't believe him. In short, I
told her off and said that just because I'm not
jumping with joy doesn't mean that it isn't really me,

(43:21):
and that she offended me and my dad by accusing
us of something like that absolutely ridiculous. She apologized profusely. However,
this led me to rethink things. I stopped talking to
her after that, and I haven't talked to her since.
I don't know what to say to her, and I
don't know how this affects our relationship, if you could
even call it that. I haven't spoken to Natalie or
Julie either, because they were going along with what Sally

(43:43):
was saying, like yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Maybe this isn't her blah blah blah. It makes me.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Feel bad, But at the same time, I just can't
bring myself to message them.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
I don't know these people.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
Absolutely happens with my little cousins. Yeah, but like if
it's been because I have a couple of cousins.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Who uh are in uh, I won't say we're there.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
Sure farther away, yeah, And so like every every once
in a while, like, well, we'll visit them, and I'm like,
oh my god, Haye, it takes like, you know, thirty
minutes for them to warm up and remember who I
exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
I'm like, hey, they're like yeah, yeah, but.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
Then like an hour later, right, right. You have to
hate reminding that. So it's just like this, like this
is such a crazy situation, and this is a family
that you haven't seen. Like, even if you're so excited
about this, you're probably older than this person.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
You can't put those feelings and emotions on that person.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
Yeah, and like expect that they owe you that, because
that's not how people work that Like everyone's saying that
opos them something. I know.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
It's like let's hop with that. Let's just let's let live.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
Let live, but we have issue number two, the current one.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
Let's do it. So a couple of nights ago, I
was talking to my dad.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
He told me that he needed my help with the
decision because I'm an adult now and he thinks that
I should know about what's going on. Roughly a month ago,
Sally messaged my dad. She asked him for help finding.
She went on about how she has three children and
she constantly needs to go to the court to get
child support from their fathers, and she has not been
doing well financially or emotionally, and now her health is

(45:10):
suffering for it. She showed him photos of her head.
She has this huge patch of hair gone, so her
hair is falling out, and she acquired a bacteria in
her mouth. She lost two front teeth, and if she
wants to begin working again, she needs to get her
health and appearance in order. She hasn't been taking care
of her teeth, she admitted, because of everything going on,
so irresponsibly, she let her dental health get worse and worse.

(45:33):
She never looked up how expensive it was, and now
that she realizes she does not have the money to
be spending on teeth, she's asking him for help to
pay for her treatment.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
So there is also a possibility that she reached out
for this. Yeah, yeah, oh gosh. This reminds me of
the incident three months ago, the blatan mistrust and second
guessing and thinking my dad would go to such extremes
to put on a show. How my dad told me
Jackie Bio mom would only ask for money when she'd
call him and didn't ask how I was doing, And

(46:05):
how their family is extremely dramatic and causes trouble all
the time.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
I wasn't inclined to help her. Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
Trust her, I don't know her. However, I feel really
bad when I saw those photos of her, and yes
it's her, she's not lying about it, and how bad
her dental health was, the good side of me is
itching to help. But we have our own financial problem.
I got into a car accident a few weeks ago,
and we were also paying off alone for school. And
I'm not trusting of who is basically a complete stranger

(46:32):
of me. My dad says we'll do whatever I want
to do, and I haven't been sleeping well since then,
and I don't know what's effing do So do I
help her or let her offend for herself? And that
is the end of it. What dang?

Speaker 2 (46:45):
What do we think? Do we help her or no?
That's so difficult. That's really difficult. It's so difficult.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
Maybe it can be a kind of thing of being like, hey,
like we have things to pay for too, Like I don't.
We don't have just like an excess of money to
just give you, but like you know, maybe we can
pay for like little things here and there, or like
I can only like do like one hundred dollars right now, Yeah,
I think something.

Speaker 3 (47:07):
Like that maybe, and also saying like, hey, I want
to direct I want to make sure this directly goes
to dental health payments, you know, yeah, like that's a
good way I will send this money to the doctors
or like having it directly go there, right right.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, I think you can do a little bit, but
you can limit yourself however much you want to pay. Yeah,
it's like, don't go based off of like, yeah, I
wouldn't go based off of like a percentage of how
much costs. I would just go off of like how
much money you have and how much money you're willing
to give away exactly, like and.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
How much money will not hurt you financially exactly.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
And if that happens to be like two percent of
the payment, then that's what you say. Okay, I just
unfortunately can't afford. Yeah, I'll be out more than this
exactly because it's not on you. It's not on you.
So but you know what is on you is checking
out more episodes with more stories just like this one.
You have to go to Apple podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify, whatever

(48:02):
your favorite podcast app is and search, Okay, storytime find
these episodes.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
That is on you.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
You do actually have to do that, and you do
owe us that, so do I don't know to tell
you about that one, but but yeah, that's the end
of our story.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're
gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a
quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (48:20):
My parents want to buy a house for my irresponsible sister.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
I want to object.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
I mean, yeah, that's a big house.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
Is a big purchase?

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Did they buy a house for you question?

Speaker 3 (48:30):
So let's start off with my parents. They make good money.
They always have one thing. They've never done well managed
the money. Anytime they get a raise or come into
some money, they have to spend it all.

Speaker 2 (48:45):
They have a crazy amount in credit card debt. Yikes.

Speaker 3 (48:49):
They have always been the type of people to have
the latest and greatest things. By the way, this comes
from one bad a old ad and if you want
to spit your own stories, good to our slash.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Okay, story time separate it. So example, last year.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
We bought my husband a used car, a couple of
years old, but a nice car. We got a great
deal on it. It is fully loaded with everything you
can ever want. But we got it for about three
thousand dollars less than market value. We bought it off
my in laws. Immediately, my dad, who already has three cars,
started looking into buying one.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
Why do you need more? Why do you need more cars?
You have three?

Speaker 3 (49:26):
My mom became rational and told him no, that he
didn't need it, especially fully loaded. Good job mom. A
couple of months ago, my car was passing away. To
fix it would cost way more than the car was worth.
We did our research and I got a used black
trust me, color is important to this part of the story. Again,
we got a great deal because my husband's uncle worked

(49:46):
for the dealership where we got it.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Well.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
A month later, my dad texts me and tells me
he's trading in his car for a new one. I
ask what kind of car, and he sends me a link.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Two years newer.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
Yeah. Yeah, so same car as op but two years newer.
I asked him, you trying to copy me dead, to
which he responded, I can't let you have nicer cars
than me. He said it chokingly, but there was some
truth to it. So recently my parents have come into
a lot of money. My mom won a large settlement
against her former employer for wrongful termination. And my dad's
mother passed so he's getting a large inheritance, so lots

(50:20):
of money. Now on to my sister, My bipolar personality disorder,
self absorbed person sister. I hate to even call her
my sister. Honestly, she mistreated me physically and emotionally from
the time I was born Cheese. I cut her out
of my life when I was twenty two for two years.
The only reason I brought her back was because she

(50:40):
became pregnant. She was married for about three years and
her husband left her for another woman.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
Was that crappy of him to do? Yes?

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Did she deserve it?

Speaker 2 (50:49):
Kind of yes.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
I saw her emotionally abuse him, call him an idiot
and worthless. She never took care of the house, pictures
slightly better than orders. She refused to work even though
they couldn't have not to work, and like my parents,
she likes the latest and greatest things, just didn't have
the money for it, so they put themselves in crazy
amount of debt. So last year she got evicted out

(51:11):
of the place she lived. She barely paid rent, but
had an understanding a landlord that helped her a lot.
She barely paid any of her bills, as my grandma,
Mom and dad paid for a lot of it, even
her divorce lawyer. The thing that made the landlord punt
her out was the condition that she left the house
and he was having none of that. How was he
letting her get away with not paying rent?

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Yeah, that's free. That's interesting.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
How understanding the landlord do you have? So my parents
took my sister and my niece in about a year ago.
I had concerns, as I said, my sister is abusive.
This is the time in their lives. My parents should
be winding down and enjoying their lives together. She would
blame them for all her troubles, yell at them if
they didn't do what you wanted. I voiced that I
was concerned for them emotionally, physically, and financially. They told

(51:56):
me not to worry. They'll put in rules for her
to live there. She'll pay some She'll not disrespect them,
she will not disrespect me or my younger sister want
me visit, She'll clean up after herself. She will save
money to get out A sapped A lot of positive.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
Thinking there, Yeah, a lot of positive thinking.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
Maybe not a lot of reality, right, little too much
telling of the future.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
Yeah, they're like, no, for sure, we know exactly how
this is gonna go. Do you do you though?

Speaker 1 (52:22):
Do you really well?

Speaker 3 (52:24):
As you probably figured, none of that happened. She would
publicly bash them on Facebook if they said or did
something she didn't like. Her room a mess, soda bottles,
wine bottles, trash everywhere. She berates me and my younger
sister all the time when we go there, and my
parents let her. She spends her money on stupid crap

(52:44):
and things she doesn't need. No rent was ever paid,
uses my niece as a pawn in her game, and
my parents pay for everything because she has no money. Well,
then tell her to get a job exactly. She has
also had three jobs in the past year. She can't
keep a job and keeps getting fired. It's never her fault, though,
that was a sarcastic statement. Oh, and they're taking her

(53:06):
on a Disney cruise and Disney trip soon, and my
parents made a point to tell me and my younger
sister that, oh we aren't invited.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
Why are your parents so horrible too? What's that's a
crazy note to be like? And al see you're not coming. Yeah,
like we're gonna. We're gonna actually pay for everything for her.
The poor thing can't can't have a she she can't
she can't keep a job. Yeah, but we will take
her on this Disney cruise. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:30):
And we also we're gonna pay for it too, probably. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
Unfortunately, everything I said what happened has now on to
the issue. My parents call me all excited. Dad's friend
from work is selling his mother's home. It's conveniently two
minutes away from my parents' house. It's small, and they
are thinking of doing a down payment for my sister
to live there. The only reason they told me. My
younger sister was told, and she said that if they

(53:54):
didn't tell their power of attorney me, by the end
of the day, she will. Even the fact that I
am the power of attorney over my older sister shows
that my parents don't trust her. They told me and
her that the reason they chose me was because they
can't trust her to make it fair. Yet they're thinking
of doing this big thing for her now. I bought
a house in October of last year. My husband and

(54:15):
I saved drove crappy cars, didn't go on vacations and
rarely ate out for our down payment on our house.
We did it all on our own, no help from anyone.
They called to tell me that what they would do.
It's changed their will to state that it comes out
of her portion of the inheritance. I guarantee they won't
do that. It really isn't about the money for me. Honestly,

(54:35):
I don't care if at the end of the day,
I get no money from them, as long as they
spend it on each other doing the things they want.
I also understand that they are miserable living with her.
My parents are currently seeing a family therapist on how
to deal with her. When they told me, I got scared.
They are financially binding themselves to someone who they have
bailed out constantly, well over twenty five thousand dollars worth.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
That is a lot of.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
I told him that I think this is the dumbest
financial decision ever, and then I want to speak with
their physician about it. For them to think that this
is a smart move is completely mind boggling, and something
is not right. They said, it's only the down payment.
She'll be doing the rest, just like she was going
to clean the house and pay you guys rent exactly
like that. Didn't happen?

Speaker 2 (55:19):
Did not happen?

Speaker 3 (55:20):
I asked them what happens if my sister stops paying
for the house? What then they won't let her or
my niece be homeless, So they're going to continue making
the payments. They gave the argument that they can put
it in their name, to which I said, then they'll
never let it for close. Then there is this fact
if something breaks, my sister can't fix it.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
She can barely change a light bulb. What then they're
gonna go over there and fix.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Everything for her? Now, who is gonna mow the lawn?

Speaker 3 (55:44):
Who's gonna shovel the driveway in the winter. Who's gonna
be mister fix it? My dad guaranteed he barely has
time to do the things for his house. Yet now
he's going to have another one to take care of.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
He had a.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
Serious heart attack two years ago and had a bypass
on six arteries. Oh wow, this man can't take care
of two houses. This isn't healthy for him. And lord knows,
my mom can't do it. This is a mess. I
told them that if she can afford a monthly mortgage,
then she can afford rent. If they want to help
her with a security deposit, fine, do it, but they

(56:19):
will have no legally binding to it whatsoever.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
It's safer. They said.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
I made a good point, but she is a dog.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
What place is gonna take her with the dog?

Speaker 3 (56:27):
I said that my husband and my first apartment take dogs.
And it was eight fifty a month for one bedroom,
one den, one bathroom home. That is enough space for them.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
So she Opie is giving all of these reasons of
how she can't take care of a whole house on
her own, and they're.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
Just like, yeah, but she's got a dog.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
She's got a dog. We have to help her.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
She got a dog.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
Like worst case scenario, if she can't take care of herself,
she can't take care of a dog. Yeah, unfortunately, Yeah,
take the dog or give it the dog for adoption
or something like. That's not I cannot be a deciding
factor in you taking care of a whole second house
for this daughter.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
Nope, not at all. That's crazy. Nope, no, no that way.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
If anything breaks, they will fix it. Snow plowing, they do, mowing,
they do, even garbage.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
With no reason for her to.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
Get a house when my parents will become responsible for it.
This has all blown up. My younger sister is engaged
and refuses to have anything to do with my parents
over it. I'm going to distance myself, that is for sure.
I feel as though I can no longer trust them.
I've never trusted them much before, but that's an even
longer story, and I've lost respect for them. I've worked

(57:36):
hard for everything I've had, and I'm proud of that.
They said that they're proud of me. Yet they're enabling
my sister and her bad behavior and then want to
buy her a house. What The thought of going about
the rest of my life with minimal contact with my
parents crushes me. But I don't want to sit back
and watch this car wreck. My parents did tell me
I had valid points to take into consideration, but I

(57:59):
think they will try to go through with this just
to get her out. I told them that getting her
house won't change anything. She's still gonna treat them like cramp.
In all honesty, this is all in the early stages.
They haven't even contacted a bank to see if they
will be approved. I think they will be laughed out
of a bank. I mean, if they have all that
credit card debt. You probably yeah, probably, yeah, but who knows.

(58:21):
I'm pretty scared. I know this is a mess that
someday I'm gonna have to deal with as power of attorney.
The fact that they even think this is a good
idea and want to go through with it, whether they
can or not, makes me question everything. My older sister
found out that my younger sister and I are extremely
disapproving and are trying to talk my parents out of it.
She knows we don't like her, So what did she

(58:42):
do last night? I have a temper tantrum? Uh shocking woo.
This is not uncommon for her. My little sister told
them she was gonna call the cops, but my parents
begged her not to because then they'll take my niece away.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
Honestly, that might be the best thing for her. My
parent said they're.

Speaker 3 (59:00):
Doing this for my niece, for her to be close by,
and that you're not a mom, so you don't understand.
I understand helping your daughter. I was fine with her
moving into their house in the first place, just had concerns.
Now they're doing everything for her. She's thirty, it's time
to grow up.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
I don't even know what to do.

Speaker 3 (59:17):
I'm at the point I should just sit back and
if it happens, then it happens. It doesn't concern me.
I'll just clean up the mess after they're gone. Is
there anything I could do? What would you do if
you were me? I appreciate that you guys took the
time to read this and any advice is appreciated, and.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
There is an update.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
Well, but what are your thoughts way back in the story. Yeah,
when they were before they even like brought up this
whole house thing, she was, well, maybe they were just
starting to bring it up, because I think they were like, hey, like,
you gotta get your own place, and she's like, you
have to, you have to do everything for me.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
Yeah, I'm gonna tell my power attorney on you.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
And it's like, well, I think I think that your
your sister is gonna be you with your parents on
this one.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
You gotta get out.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
So I feel like she should have just done that,
and then the sister should be like power of attorney.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
Yeah, I'm wondering.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
Why OP is not exercising those right And it did
say when I looked it up that there were different
types of power of attorneys, so maybe it's more limited
in its capacity.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
But yeah, yeah, it's.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Just interesting that that sister like threatened to tell ope
when it was like, oh, p he's not gonna be
with you girl, Oh peace.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
It's not on your side at all.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
But I think that you've done everything you can in
terms of warning your parents, and at this point it's
their financial decision to kind of make. Yeah, like, if
they mess up their lives, that's on them. True, true,
but there is an update. I'm going to just let go.
If this happens, then it happens. I've talked it over
with my sister, husband and grandma, and we've all decided
to step back from this. My younger sister still wants

(01:00:47):
no contact for now, and that's her choice. I'll be minimal.
It's not in us versus them. It's being worried about
my parents. My mom and dad both have health issues,
and I don't want this to crush them. I do
love and worry about them. They're all adults. While it's
not the brightest decision, it's theirs to make. My parents
have involved all three of us for a long time,
and problems and decisions that we shouldn't have been even

(01:01:09):
as small kids. Maybe that's why they felt the need
to tell us all this. Maybe they shouldn't have, at
least not yet, or until they at least met with
a bank. As for me, being the power of attorney,
I am also the executor of their estate. If this
goes through, I will tell them I want to meet
with their lawyers and figure this all out. I will
decide then if I want to continue. Huh, dang, I

(01:01:31):
need to see a therapist. And there is an update.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
Oh wow, wowie, So they can go to a lawyer
then and have this settled with a lawyer. Yes, yeah, interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
Well, I mean that's good.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
At least op has, like some say in this even
though it's like it's really not like totally involving op. No,
but yeah, based on what I've seen in this story,
I'm glad that op Has has a power in some Yeah,
in some capacity.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Yeah. But let's get into this update.

Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
First things first, my parents did not ever do a
down payment on a house for They told her to
go do research and see what she can get as
far as alone, and every bank told her no because
she has a bunch of credit card debt. Yeah, which
is what I figured might happen. The most delusional thing
is she still thinks she can afford it and still
keeps looking. I asked my parents about it recently and

(01:02:23):
they said, yeah, we screwed up saying we could do that.
She can't ever afford her house. I asked about helping
her find an apartment, and that never goes anywhere. She
seems very content verbally abusing my parents in their home
and they let her, so no change there.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
One thing that happened was the five of us, younger
sister included, went into family therapy for a while. It
was just my parents and older sister going trying to
work on their dynamics, as they're the ones who lived
together in battle a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
When I did go, it helped me a bit.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
He made me realize that I really shouldn't hate my
older sister as much as I should be angry.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
With my parents.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
Absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah, honestly, I mean they're the one
who they're the ones who contributed to this kind of
golden child syndrome, right right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
I don't know I was still being mad at the sister.

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
I mean absolutely, you could definitely still be mad at
the sister, but it's like put some blame on those
parents too. For sure, they are the ones who didn't
protect me from my harmful sister. He also paired us up.
Each person in the family has a partner that they
were going to go to when problems happened. Someone event
to and that person was to have the other person's
back in arguments, no matter how wrong they may have been.

(01:03:31):
I was paired up with my older sister. It was exhausting,
but I really tried my best. As things usually happened,
she came to me with everything, and yet I never
went to her. I never told her about my problems.
She called me every single day to talk about hers.
One family session, the therapist brought up that everyone in
the room has problems.

Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
But I admit, like, I feel like it's probably.

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
Like everyone here has problems. Yeah, but I'm imagining him
going all of you guys, yeah, are messed up. Yeah,
you guys are all crazy. I don't know. I don't
know what you want for me.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
You are lost, cause, yeah, all of us are depressed.
All of us have combative PTSD, some have anxiety. My
mother is an active user. My father is a self
absorbed person, an ahole, and he just doesn't care. My
oldest sister is borderline personality disorder. It doesn't make any
of us bad, It's just who we are because.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
Of our trauma.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
Okay, that feels like a therapy response, like I don't
throw stones, kind of.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
Like you all have anxiety and personality disorders and narcissism,
but at the end of the day, that's what makes
you human.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
Exactly, And I would just be like, okay, yeah, but like, yeah,
so we're talking about talking that, but.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
Like to deal with.

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
These problems though, he wants us to seek individual therapy
outside of seeing him. He then asked who is actually
trying the tools he has taught us to communicate, and
I was.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
The only one who answered.

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
He told us that some of us were on the
verge of pulling away, and some of us are even
on the verge of passing away. Pretty serious crap for
our last time, right, Yeah, you read that correctly.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
It was our last session.

Speaker 3 (01:05:04):
The next week, we got a group text from the
therapist breaking up with us, telling us that I am
only able to work on a few clients right now
as I am having personal problems.

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
He's like, it's not you, it's me.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
It's not using me.

Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
That sucks man, dude, So people could pass away from
an OD or self arm. But oh well, no recommendation
for another therapist, nothing, Just to be kind of one
another and let's pick up again in the fall. Also,
my older sister is adamant that she is perfectly normal
and that is diagnosis is wrong and wants his license
for it. My younger sister did get married this past weekend.

(01:05:39):
The only drama was from my older sister. One thing
I've never mentioned in the OPE was that my oldest
sister for years has overstepped her boundaries with my husband.
She will flirt with him, try to cuddle with him,
jump into his arms, and more. I have told her
repeatedly to stop, and she hasn't. She has gotten creepy
over infatuation with him. I told her last time, if

(01:05:59):
she overt and if she even tried to hug my
husband again, she and I are done.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
Good put up those boundaries.

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
Well, she crossed the line at the wedding shocker. I
certainly told her off quietly, and then she proceeded to
have a crying, screaming hissy fit at her table. Of course,
we're done, I told my parents, I'm no longer going
to their house, and that includes holidays. Until my sister
is gone. I will not enable them and her by
visiting anymore. My parents are more than welcome at my home,

(01:06:28):
but she is not. I will not let my husband
be uncomfortable anymore. Well, then on Halloween, my mother fell
into her bathroom and slammed her face on the bathroom
to sink.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Oh my god, Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
Broke a bone in her face and broke her pelvis.
My father says she was sober. I don't believe it,
as my father doesn't pay attention to things like that.
Plus they waited three hours before they call the ambulance.
I will never know the truth there. But my mom
is going into a nursing home until healed, so if
she's abusing things, they will know. My older sister wants

(01:07:00):
to take care of my mom while she heals, and
we have all said over our past away bodies. By
the way, you can heal yourself by listening to full
episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
Search bucket story time. You heard the woman, But there
is a little bit left to the story. Fine thoughts like.

Speaker 1 (01:07:21):
Wow, yeah, wowe. Yeah, I'm just making like a mental
note to myself in the future of being like, I
hope that none of my kids ever feel like they
can't see each other everything.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
I don't want that to happen to my kids.

Speaker 3 (01:07:32):
I think about that a lot because I have such
a great relationship with Sam and I'm like, my kids
better live up to us, right, stand on the shoulders
of giants.

Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
Yeah, yeah, they gotta be. Oh yeah, that's hard. End
with the mom now getting there.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
Yeah, it's just such a messy yeah, messy met Yeah,
but there's more so.

Speaker 3 (01:07:53):
There's that I'm feeling guilt over the fact that I
won't see my niece as much or at all because
of my cutting my sister out. But I have to
protect my own I'm going back and forth, and it's
on the decision because of my niece. I feel as
though I've made the right choice, but could.

Speaker 2 (01:08:06):
I be wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
It's not fair to her.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
She needs somewhat stable people in her life, and if
I leave, it's gone. I'm at a loss. I haven't
done therapy for myself yet. I'm scared to do so.
It's a lot of crazy in my closet that I
don't want to relive. It's all a mess. Annie thoughts,
did I do the right thing? What do I do
to help my mom and dad and niece without compromising
my decision?

Speaker 2 (01:08:28):
And that is the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (01:08:30):
Wowee man, wow wee wowee.

Speaker 3 (01:08:34):
I mean I think that you have to prioritize your
own sanity. Yeah, and it really sucks, like losing that
relationship with your niece, but for now, maybe the best
thing is for you to put some space and then
maybe come back to it and later.

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
Yeah, And I mean that seems like what you're doing, Like,
I do think it's good for you to be like
I don't want to ever go to the parent's house.
I don't want to ever go to the sister's house.
Parents can come to me. Yeah, I'm not moving. Yeah,
I think that's a good boundary to set.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
And I think just doing more of that, like continuing
boundaries and yeah, just just keep doing what you're doing,
do yes, stay stay the course exactly exactly. But that
is the end of that episode. We love you and
see it tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I found my father’s SECRET messages… I told him to come clean! | Reddit Stories