I found out that my girlfriend’s having an AFFAIR…so I’m starting a new life! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Samp this is John. We're the ancient
two case story Time podcast hosts, and we have some
ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want
to hear the wisdom from two old heads that know
more than they know what to do with, you're gonna
have to wait for a quick message from our sponsors
for the next two minutes or so.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
I found out that my girlfriend's having an affair, so
I'm starting a new life.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Guess what, that's just fair?

Speaker 4 (00:24):
New year knew me. Sorry, this is a long one.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
I work in politics in the dark smoky room side,
and for the past six months, my girlfriend and I
haven't seen much of each other because of a recent promotion.

Speaker 4 (00:35):
That's been the opportunity of a lifetime. Let's call her.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
H By the way, this comes from user Alone Again
eleven and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to our slash Okay Storytime submit them there. Helen
and I have been together since university, and to be blunt,
she was the love of my life, sweet, dedicated, fiercely loyal,
and my best friend. Together we've done some pretty amazing things.

(01:00):
When I look back on my life highlights, our travels
and years together will definitely be on there. Helen and
I have been finding the time away from each other tough.
I work from about six thirty am to eleven pm
and tend to be on the phone on weekends. However,
she's been really supportive and has continued to tell me
to focus on the job for now. We both planned
to move to New York City together once I had

(01:20):
completed this job. I know now that it's been a
lot harder for Helen than she let on, and for me,
I've just desperately missed my partner. However, long ago now,
I came down into the bathroom to say good morning
to Helen and noticed a big love bite on her neck,
which she'd been hiding under big jumpers, which is she
was probably just riding a horse and the horse bitter

(01:42):
A big deal.

Speaker 5 (01:44):
It was a.

Speaker 6 (01:44):
Nou Yeah, she just really wanted to like she went
to the five D Experience.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
I confronted her about said love bite, and as I
hadn't been able to touch her in weeks after contracting
scaties in Africa.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
But what do you do for a living?

Speaker 2 (01:57):
He's a secret back room political advisor guy. Yeah, he's
not specific because it's very smoky, shadowy back room.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
Give more politics.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
He's like the guy making the decisions that like impact
the real decisions, you know what I mean. He's like
making the decisions no one knows about that no one
votes for. Anyway, I knew it wasn't me. This all
happened so fast. I barely remember anything that was said.
I just remember the feeling that my stomach was suddenly
lined with lead. She told me it was an allergic
reaction of all things, but after pressing her, it became
clear she was hiding something, and then it quickly became

(02:28):
clear that we both knew what had happened. It turns
out that she cheated with a mutual friend that she
secretly met up with. She says she went to him
for advice about a relationship and ended up seeking affection
from him. The pipeline needs to be studied.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
She told me.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Obviously begged for another chance and asked me to marry her,
and then eventually left in a taxi to her friend's
house with her bags that I packed for her.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
Oh wow, good job, guy, I mean.

Speaker 6 (02:51):
She'd please me. I did this because I loved you, I.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Mean honestly, though, Like I'm not saying that it gives
her a pass. Six thirty am to eleven pm and
you're on the phone. You're just not that's not you
can't be in a relationship. That's not you're in a
relationship with your job only.

Speaker 6 (03:06):
That's true, but still being like, hey, I don't think
it's gonna work out.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Right exactly, She that's when you just break up. You
don't cheat on your guy. Gut you're excited.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
He's like, She's like, oh, you discuss it.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Say like, I feel like I'm really not in a
happy place right now, Like i feel like I'm completely alone,
and said she went to this other guy who knows why.
Maybe she tried to talk before, and he said, sorry, baby,
i'm on the phone with Washington.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
I can't anyways.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
The house is all mine, we're not married, and there's
nothing legal to worry about here. After she left, I
calmly got everything ready for work, made myself a packed lunch,
ironed my shirt, and then just lost it, sitting down
with some whiskey and some smokes, wallowing in self pity
for the night. This has been my nightly routine for
the last week. I've had a history of depression, so
Whilst this has hit me unbelievably hard, the numbness and

(03:51):
feelings of emptiness ultimately make it easier to get things done.
This guy does work in politics too. That's the most
works in politics thing I've ever seen. I'm not a
crying wreck. I'm just kind of Over the next few days,
I kept silent, didn't respond to any of the ninety
missed calls. Eventually, I rang her and told her we're over.
I forgave her and dropped all of her things at
my friend's house while Helen was out at work. The

(04:13):
thing is, I really don't hate her for this. I
understand how she was feeling, and I know my job
got in the way of what was a very close
and spontaneous relationship and he became different people. I can
forgive her, but we have to be over. I'll never
trust her again, and I can't have her in my
life anymore, especially not when it's not even a good
idea for me to have a partner while my life

(04:33):
is like this. Whilst I forgive her, it doesn't mean
I can ever love her like I did. The next
few days kind of led to a few impulse decisions.
I went straight to my boss, who was also one
of my best friends who bless him, offered to give
up all his annual leaves so I could sort myself
out annually. She's like the amount of time that.

Speaker 4 (04:50):
You get off per day. So he was like, I'll
give you my.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Biggest that's really crazy, that's really nice.

Speaker 6 (04:56):
He's working in politics. He's like, I know this guy's
gonna be someone someday. You know my vig.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
Yeah, they've probably been on a lot of smoky backrooms together,
making a lot of shady deals.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Vote So when I told him being in that house
would just bring back bad memories, he made me an
offer a year long position working on an enormous project
for an international government, and I took it.

Speaker 4 (05:14):
Does this guy do?

Speaker 6 (05:15):
I don't know this guy's super village. I feel like
we're about to see the Latin its monster in Bigfoot.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
Dab up. He's at the.

Speaker 6 (05:21):
End here in a few sentences.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
This involves a completely new role, a new life in
a new country, and a completely different kind of office
and project. So I put my house up for rent,
which my brother will look after for me, and decided
to just buy a ticket and head to my new
home early before the position starts.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
It also makes the visa stuff easier.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
I have not told Helen because I've tried to maintain
no contact and she has all of her things already.
Taxis coming in about two hours, So here are my questions?
Should I tell her? Is it classless to let her
find out from a friend? Honestly, yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 6 (05:54):
It's classless to cheat?

Speaker 2 (05:55):
That's also fair. Actually, I take that back. What am
I talking about? I don't know what I said. Erase
that from the record. Keep reading their questions?

Speaker 4 (06:02):
And then how do I get closure?

Speaker 2 (06:04):
What process can I use when I'm so removed from everything?
How do I stop this being a quick fix? Is
there a risk I get home after a year and
it all just instantly comes back. I'm really fearful that
all I'm doing is running away from my problem, and
I'm worried moving away will mean I never engage with
the fundamental trail. Any readers have tips for moving to
a new country.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
How do you meet people? Have I been too rash?

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Importantly, anyone have any tips on getting over cheating. This
is the second time I've been cheated on now, and
whilst I'm quite happy to have a year of just
being single. I'm worried about what happens after that? Is
there even a point of trying to stay faithful to anyone?
Thanks in advance and thanks for all the support over
the years. Just help me manage my last week of life.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
Were taking the job, I'm taking the job.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Job, Yes, if I'm am I if I'm already the
workaholic guy, this guy is, I'm taking the job.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yep.

Speaker 7 (06:50):
Well it's a good answer for OP like this is
something to distract them. That's how you get over cheating.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
I do think that if you're you're struggling with feelings
of closure, you do talk to There's nothing that she
like needs you or deserves from you. She cheated on you,
But for you, if you're having these feelings, having a
conversation with her is the only way you're gonna get
any closure.

Speaker 7 (07:10):
To give the closure for OP doesn't. You don't know
her anything. It's what you need and what you want.

Speaker 6 (07:15):
But he's the cool, smoky dark room lobbyist.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
Those people aren't.

Speaker 6 (07:19):
Doesn't he doesn't need closure.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Those are not just sounds like a spider does need
He does need closure. He's cry he's drinking whiskey and
smoking all night.

Speaker 4 (07:28):
Every night.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
He forgave her need to have a conversation with the
person who wronged you, to clear the air.

Speaker 6 (07:33):
They're gone, and so now he can.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
Just leave, not to get her back, so even go.

Speaker 6 (07:38):
To a different country, learn some things.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
If you do what Riley said, as soon as you
get back all of your feelings, you're gonna come back.

Speaker 4 (07:43):
You're gonna be actually where you were when you left, with.

Speaker 6 (07:45):
More tools of knowing different things about cultures.

Speaker 4 (07:49):
Face them now.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
No, the problem's not going to get any easier and
it's probably not going to change.

Speaker 6 (07:54):
Let her find out.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
Be cool, a little bit of your disagreement. Don't we
be mysterious? So that's what you do best to.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
The comments say in regards to telling Helen, no, she's
not your girlfriend anymore. You owe her nothing. How do
I get closure? There is no closure? Yeah, because he's
not talking to her.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
You did the right thing every step of the way.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
You're doing something that is obviously very healthy for you
and will lead to new experiences. Anything you did in
terms of interacting with her to see closure will really
just give her closure, which is again not your problem. Mmm.
I like that one, but clearly this guy's in need
of closure. What is this is just another guy who
got cheated on who's like.

Speaker 4 (08:28):
Yeah, don't talk to her now.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
We read pilled this one in regards to well my
feelings come back. I have a great experience over there
and make memories and make friends find lovers. This, guys,
did you not listen to him? He's not gonna have
any time for any of that. Hey, this is a
guy who works from six am to midnight and then
sleeps and wakes up and does it again.

Speaker 4 (08:48):
That's all he else.

Speaker 6 (08:49):
The spontaneous part with his partner. Dude, he's gonna have.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
Like maybe an hour or that was before he got
this job. He's gonna before he started working from six
thirty to eleven, He'll maybe have an hour and slip.
He's not going to be doing that. Okay, So later
visit those friends and lovers if you feel like it.
You're rebuilding your life and this is a part of
that process. When you come back, you'll be a new
man in your life. Here will seem better. And as
far as engaging the betrayal, you've already done that brilliantly.

(09:13):
Have I been to rash probably, but you know what,
forget it.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
B rash. You're young, have an fing ball over there.
He's not going to do that though. He's just a workaholic.
He's a workaholic guy.

Speaker 6 (09:25):
Those work helps you get through things.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
And again, all of my perspective here is not like
she deserves. It's more like, what does op need? Oh,
He's like, I'm being tormented by these thoughts. I like,
I don't, I don't do What do I tell her?

Speaker 8 (09:37):
Do I tell her?

Speaker 4 (09:38):
Do I not?

Speaker 2 (09:38):
This is what you tell her? You tell her, Hey,
I'm leaving the country. Just wanted to give you the
heads up. Nothing here is ever going to go back
to the way it was and have a nice rest
of your life.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
That's all you need to say.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
And then you will feel like, Okay, I've literally shut
the book. Now the book is closed. Comment to says,
holy crap, don't say a word to her. You dated
six years and have gone no contact. Imagine what she's
going to do when she finds out you're not even
in the same country anymore.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
She will go effing bunkers. Now, are you being rash? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (10:06):
But who gives a If I'd had an opportunity like
this when I was cheated on twenty some odd years ago,
I would have left in a heartbeat. Go have fun
in your new city, slash job, make new friends, see
things you've never seen before. It won't be too long
until this is all just a distant memory. Reply, I
have to agree. In ten years, when he's with his
awesome new, high paying job that he's earned, beautiful wife

(10:27):
he will meet, and with kids popping around, you are
not going to care one bit about closure with this woman.
She will be a fleeting memory, someone who tested your
resolve and character and you passed. She will be known
as a lesson for your future self, nothing more. I
agree with all of this. Take her betrayal and use
all of that negative energy to make yourself the most
bad butt, suave mother effer on the planet. She was
not strong enough in character. You are find a woman

(10:49):
who is. And there isn't update And I agree with
all of this, But it's not about everyone's ignoring everything
Op said about how he is feeling right now.

Speaker 6 (10:58):
Time out.

Speaker 4 (10:58):
They're telling him how he should feel.

Speaker 6 (11:00):
Okay, talking about some inmi stuff. Uh, spiders don't have feelings.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
Oh you didn't read that he is not a spy.

Speaker 4 (11:08):
He's not a spy.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Why would a spy be posting the Reddit. Brother, this
guy's not.

Speaker 6 (11:11):
A spy, dude, he doesn't have feelings, so it doesn't
really matter what he's feeling.

Speaker 5 (11:15):
Plus, he's what you mean, what did you just say
he doesn't have feelings for her?

Speaker 4 (11:20):
No?

Speaker 6 (11:20):
No, no, he doesn't have feelings in general.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Spo Okay, he did have feelings for her. This devastated
him to a point where he became numb. And speaking
from experience, when you like, just like sit in numbness,
you literally go stagging, like you're not solving anything. So
his concerns about I get everyone's being like you're better
than her and you can move on, which is true,
like you can, But if you just stick in the
numbness and you don't acknowledge it and you don't move
through it and get to the other side of it,

(11:43):
in a year when you come back from this job,
you're gonna find yourself in the exact same emotional situation,
the exact same emotional place that you were in before.
Just tell her be like, I'm gone, We're over still,
and I want you to completely let go of this.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
Don't hold on to me because I'm letting.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Go of you say that out loud, you say that
to her, and then you leave and have your life.

Speaker 4 (12:03):
But if you leave this completely unsaid and you have
all these things in your in your heart that are unresolved,
it's not gonna get better. See.

Speaker 6 (12:11):
I was so heartbroken once in my life where I thought,
you know, I was with someone. I was like, I'm
gonna marry them. I'm gonna be with them forever. Had
everything planned out, didn't work out?

Speaker 4 (12:19):
Go live in, I did some.

Speaker 6 (12:21):
I went into spy I went to spy mode, went
to the gym, so working on myself, went to other places,
got out of my comfort zone. And guess what I'm here.
I let you date this person for six years. I
dated this person for three.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
It's not nothing, but I don't know. I've already said it.
Let's get into the update. Firstly, thank you so much
for all your support and kind words. It's made it
a lot easier to keep doing the right thing, and
I've taken on board so many of your comments. It
really meant a lot, and I felt it more than
I felt much in the past week or so. So
some of you may remember that I had some questions

(12:54):
and that I was on my way to flying out
to start a new life, which I never mentioned is
in f stuff took some pretty funny turns since then,
and I thought i'd update you.

Speaker 4 (13:04):
So I am still not in Africa.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
I missed my flight after my cab was involved in
a very minor collision. No one was hurt officially, but
you can't get another cab quickly on the motorway. Luckily,
I've got total insurance up to my abbows. I phoned
my boss to tell him and was about to book
flights for the weekend when my boss asked me to
stay a few more days as he'd had an absolute
tidal wave hit his desk. I'd do anything for this guy,

(13:27):
so I obviously agreed, and ended up deciding to stick
around for Christmas to say goodbye to my family and
give them a bit of time before I left for
a year.

Speaker 4 (13:34):
Which is that's nice and thoughtful. That's good. That's good.
We didn't even think about that.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
We didn't even think about the other people in his life,
because we're thinking he's a spy with nobody else in
his life.

Speaker 6 (13:41):
Yeah, he's basically an orphan. This is his orphan fam.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Mister Bond, m hmm, James Bond my boss's secretary spent
most of the week finding me a new flat, booking
the immunizations, and generally sorting out my life to say
thank you, which was really nice. So I haven't told
her I'm leaving, and no contact has been maintained. A
good friend said she managed to have a conversation with
Helen and made clear that I'm serious about needing a

(14:04):
significant period of silence between us. Ellen is apparently handling
it really badly, sobbing having to have her friends look
after her phone, et cetera. Which I thought would make
me happy, but it really doesn't get out of your
feelings lude because when we've loved somebody, we don't usually
enjoy the fact that they're in misery, even if they've
wronged us, because humans have hearts. There is one person

(14:25):
I told her father now anyone else on here, I
would strongly advise against breaking no contact for ex's family members,
but you have to understand that I cannot not answer
the phone for this man. I have so much respect
for him, and we've spent a huge amount of time
alone drinking his amazing whiskey collection and talking about things.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
He's given me.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
A lot of vital support and counsel in my life,
and I'd be much worse off without him. He wanted
to know if I could ever forgive his daughter. I
explained that there is no point in continuing now that
the trust is fundamentally destroyed, and he apologized and accepted that.
He actually told me I should think about getting myself
away for some alone time and begged me to meet

(15:02):
up with him in the city I work in. At
this point, I told him where I'm going and asked
him not to tell Helen until I'm gone. He promised
he would honor my wishes, and that was enough for me.
This man is old school. I also left some messages
to pass on to family members clandestinely another spy term
once I'm gone, because the whole family has been amazing
to me. My time since has been much smoother than

(15:23):
it could have been. I hit the gym a lot,
Rule number one and have spent at least two hours
every night except Christmas sparring with my brother.

Speaker 4 (15:30):
He is a spy. This guy's a spy.

Speaker 6 (15:31):
I told you, bro.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
I've caught up with old friends before I leave and
spent a lot of time with my family. We managed
to complete the business that landed on my boss's desk,
and he took me for an incredible goodbye meal with
himself and his wife, which was nice. It was some
unlimited meat joint, which makes me wonder why all things
aren't unlimited meat spy nice.

Speaker 4 (15:51):
My own mood has been promising. For a few days.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
There was a concerning intensity of numbness, but keeping myself
busy really helped me feel normal again. Can't stress enough
to everyone out there how important it is to get
up and do stuff rather than wallowing. It changes your
whole mindset and makes everything so much easier. In terms
of other plans, I've already signed up to a white
tie chym out there and managed to find an old
training partner who's working in the same city, so I've

(16:17):
organized a meet up. My plan is to just treat
this a bit like a year out at university. Work hard, yeah,
but I'm going to get as much out of the
experience as I can. I plan to blow all the
money I was saving for Helen's birthday holiday. Thank you
to everyone who assured me that there are some people
you can trust out there. But I think, at least
for a while, I'm going to have to be single.
I'm thinking of going to get some help because I

(16:38):
know that functionally i'll be single for at least a year,
and I don't want distrust to become my default setting
when to see my old psych about my depression flaring up.
Who thought I was doing really well considering the circumstances.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
So yay uh.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
I'm looking forward to my new life so much, and
I feel much better about my ability to use it
as a new start rather than just running away and
hiding my feelings. I might write Helen a letter one
day to get some answers to some questions, but I'm
still undecided and probably wouldn't go ahead with it until
I'm sure I'm on the way to recovery. To everyone
out there, follow the advice on here, keep yourself busy

(17:13):
and stick with no contact. The whole next year is
about me, and I'm excited about what I can produce.

Speaker 4 (17:19):
Thank you everyone, and good luck.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
And there are some kind where there was a comment,
but let's just go into the second update, which I
already know what you think, right he's a spy. No, yes,
he's a spy, but about like the way he was
talking with he was like, I just want to. I
want the book to be closed. I want to make
sure I'm not running away for my feelings. And everyone
was just like, keep not talking to her and just
run away. I don't agree with that. I think that
there's a way he could have been like and it's not.

(17:42):
I don't think you should ask questions. I don't think
you need to be like, why did you cheat?

Speaker 4 (17:45):
Why did you do this?

Speaker 8 (17:46):
Why did you do that?

Speaker 2 (17:46):
You need to just be laying out. Hey, these are
the things that are happening. I'm leaving. We're literally done forever.
I guess I wish you the best, ish whatever. Don't
call me, don't text me, don't come over to my house.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
We're done.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
That's what you gotta do. That's what you could do.
And I feel like that would give you the ah.

Speaker 6 (18:03):
Okay, okay, okay, you can get that. Or you can
cause her as much pain as you can. You go
all the way to a different country, you don't say
a word to her, You disappear off the map. Oh,
she has no idea where you ever.

Speaker 4 (18:15):
Wins could do that or you could do that.

Speaker 6 (18:17):
I guess that's some spy stuff, right, and I'm sure
that won't bother you at all because he's gonna he's
gonna be behind the bottle. He's gonna punch it harder
at more time, and he's gonna be so much cooler
and better.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
Update number two.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
He's Tom Cruise.

Speaker 4 (18:29):
I'm back in the UK. What did I say for
a few weeks.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
Visiting some old friends and family and my old boss.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
He came to CQ, bro he came to CQ old boss.

Speaker 6 (18:42):
Come on, James Vond, Come on, this guy is James Vond.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
He's a spy. I'll say it. So I thought i'd
write an update.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
As some of you might have read, four months ago,
I broke up with my ax after she cheated on me.
This spurred me to accept a job offer in Africa
and the rest is history.

Speaker 3 (18:58):
Wait is this that's just a pot of just?

Speaker 4 (19:00):
Is this casino royale?

Speaker 3 (19:02):
Is this casino?

Speaker 4 (19:04):
Probably? This guy?

Speaker 5 (19:06):
This is just?

Speaker 6 (19:06):
This is just I'm telling you I was. I knew
it from the beginning.

Speaker 9 (19:10):
That's actually really funny.

Speaker 4 (19:11):
We both thought that at the same time.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
I was like wait, wait, wait, wait wait wait.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Firstly, Africa is the most incredible continent in the world.
I'm based in Tanzania, but I've been fortunate enough to
do a lot of traveling. The new job is incredible.
I got some crazy experience, got my own driver and secretary.

Speaker 4 (19:28):
Not a spy.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
Not a spy, Spies drive themselves.

Speaker 4 (19:32):
He's lying to us right now.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
He's saying he had a driver and a secretary, so
he won't know he's a spy.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
But he's a spy. We see through you, dang it.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
So I got some crazy experience, got my own driver
and secretary. Making some really big differences here, and I
think accepting this job was the best decision of my life.
I'd be sad to leave at.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
The end of the year.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
In terms of how I'm dealing with the breakup, this
has been the perfect way to deal with it.

Speaker 4 (19:55):
It's hard to wallow for too.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Long when you're riding around dirt roads and are sat
with new friends, sharing adult soda and looking at the
most stunning natural beauty you'll find anywhere. One of the
perkhs of the job is that we work closely with NGOs,
non government organizations who send out lots of aid workers
and volunteers around my age who are still looking to
have a good time. I'm still single, and it's been

(20:18):
great to recapture my youth, go out and be free
making some new life experiences. On another thread, someone said
that at the start of every good story or adventure,
something like what happened to me must occur to expose
myself and make me a bit braver than I would
have been. I loved that Ellen has really just been
the first half of a paragraph in a story that's
been so enjoyable and invigorate. Here is the breakup horn

(20:40):
that I had to update you all on. This is
proof that no matter how bad it is now, things
can change, and once you heal, the dynamics of power
can fundamentally shift in an instant. I've maintained no contact
with Helen. I've been updated by some friends that after
she found out I left, she asked all my friends
if they know my African number. She's blocked from all emails,
social media, and my phone and has been living with

(21:02):
her parents for months now, having decided to spend some
time on her own. Bear in mind, I've not seen
her since this all started or spoken to her. When
I landed in London a few days ago. Guess who
was waiting for me in arrivals Apart from my mom
of course.

Speaker 4 (21:15):
It was Helen.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
She came from nowhere, kind of looked at me and
started crying. I was kind of speechless, to be honest,
Helen had seen the flight details I'd posted on the
wall of a mutual friend and taken a four hour
train down to London to ask me to take her back.
Bear in mind, this entire time, my mom is hovering
in the background. I told Helen nothing had changed, thanked
her for coming. I was genuinely touched by whatever this

(21:38):
display was, and gave her some money to get a
cab home, partially because she was a wreck, and.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
Partly because I wanted to make myself feel superior. Spy
Stoff right there, spy Stoff. That was a little spyish.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
At this point, it really struck me how much everything
had changed. I definitely still have some feelings for Helen,
but they're couched much more reflectively. I felt extreme pity
for her at that moment, and I don't think I've
ever felt so sure that being on my own is
what's best for me. And by the way, I know
what's best for you, and it's if you would listen
to full episodes with stories like this on your podcast

(22:09):
platform of choice, Spotify, Apple.

Speaker 4 (22:11):
Podcasts, wherever you get them.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
Just search Okay Storytime and you can find the whole
catalog to browse through. So before we get into the
last tail end of the story here, I just have
to say Dr bro one the break up, Like sure
he won, and it's like she was all distraught and
stuff and he like wasn't, although you know he was,
Like I was genuinely touched. But like I think if
before you left you just told her we're done forever,

(22:34):
like I need you to.

Speaker 4 (22:35):
I need you to soak that in.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
We are never getting back together on some he swift
type stuff. And by not saying that, I feel like
you kind of set yourself up for this moment now.
But it seems like you've navigated it properly. So let's
let's just get to the end here. Thanks for all
the support. Some of the advice I received on here
has made a huge difference to how I've spent last
four months. For those of you just starting your journey,
it gets better. Maintain no contact, look after yourself and

(22:59):
go to the gym and make time to meet new people.
I recommend taking yourself out all your own.

Speaker 4 (23:04):
It helps you figure out who you are and what
you lost. Thanks all, and.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
Then you got to play the James Bond. You gotta
go done it.

Speaker 6 (23:16):
That my favorite story we've read this month.

Speaker 4 (23:27):
And then after that you maintain no content.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Here you go after you go, We're done, forever, no more, never,
bye bye in Africa.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
Then you do the no contact. You just get that
one moment where you are allowed.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
To go right now, you were holding on and then
you could just go like that, and now you're done,
You've officially let go.

Speaker 6 (23:44):
Did you figure it out? And I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 5 (23:48):
My husband has a work wife. He doesn't realize that
it's ruining our marriage.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
Oh babe, I thought I could just have two wives.

Speaker 9 (23:55):
I thought I have two.

Speaker 5 (23:58):
Thirty one female. I'm at my wits end with my
husband's thirty two mail co worker Sarah thirty email and
his complete inability to see what's happening. I'm not usually
one for Reddit, but I need to know if I'm
going crazy here. By the way, this comes from Honeybeller Mama,
And if you want to spit your own stories, go
to our Slashowkay story Time Severed it Show. Where do
I even start? Three years ago, my husband Mark started

(24:21):
working with Sarah. At first, I tried to be welcoming.
I invited her to barbecues, included her in group outings,
and genuinely tried to be friendly. Big mistake. She spent
the entire time making backhanded comments about everything from my career, Oh,
you're just a yoga instructor, hap peaceful to my cooking.
I guess not everyone can master basic seasoning. The real

(24:42):
problem that's that's a slap of this.

Speaker 4 (24:45):
That's those dems fighting words right there.

Speaker 5 (24:47):
The real problem is that Mark thinks she's just being
funny Mark Mark.

Speaker 4 (24:53):
Mark likes his work. Wife, Mark likes his work.

Speaker 5 (24:56):
Oh another Mark like and his work wife typical?

Speaker 4 (24:59):
Typical.

Speaker 5 (25:00):
Last month, she literally threw away the anniversary mug I
gave him because it clashed with the office aesthetic. When
I got upset, Mark said I was being too sensitive
and that Sarah just has high standards for office to core.

Speaker 4 (25:13):
I'm breaking up with Mark.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
I are at the very least, I'm like, you're sleeping
on the couch until you understand how dumb that was.

Speaker 5 (25:21):
No, I'd be like, dude, don't freaking talk to me
about office to cors I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (25:25):
What who cares about office to court? What?

Speaker 2 (25:28):
Who would prioritize office to core over a gift from
their actual partner?

Speaker 5 (25:32):
And to be clear, this is not I mean, it's
crazy regardless, but like, this is not her saying hey,
can you take this this mug home?

Speaker 9 (25:40):
You know it's clashing with the office to court? Right,
She's still still crazy.

Speaker 5 (25:43):
She threw it away. Yeah, it was a mug with
our wedding photo on it. Some greatest hits from Sarah.
She scheduled a mandatory work dinner on her anniversary. She
convinced Mark not to take a promotion because it would
mean working with a different team. She posts daily photos
of them together with hashtags like work power couple, and
work spouse.

Speaker 9 (26:03):
Your man's stupid. I'd break up with him for being stupid.

Speaker 4 (26:05):
Stop doing this, Mark.

Speaker 5 (26:07):
She tells everyone at their office that she takes better
care of him than I do. She changed his coffee
order and now tells everyone she trained him right. The
worst part, my husband is completely blind.

Speaker 4 (26:18):
To all of this.

Speaker 5 (26:19):
Think Mark, think how blind can you really be? You know,
open at a.

Speaker 9 (26:24):
Certain point, You're not blind, You're just you're wilfully.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
He's probably actively having an affair with his work wife.

Speaker 5 (26:30):
Hey, yeah, yesterday he actually told me about how Sarah
set our new house, which we spent months searching for
it with charming in a starter home kind of way.
He repeated this while laughing. I tried talking to him
about it, but Sarah is convinced him. I'm just insecure.
She's managed to insert herself into every aspect of our lives.
They text constantly, even on weekends. She knows his schedule

(26:52):
better than I do. She rearranged his entire desk and
office wardrobe because his style wass the bourbon husband. That's
that's what he is. Last week, I was just marriage counseling.
He looked genuinely confused. He of course went and talked
to Sarah about it. I found out from another coworker
that she's been telling people that Mark and I are
going through a rough patch and that she's just being

(27:13):
a good friend by giving him someone to talk to.
We weren't going through anything until she started this nonsense.
The breaking point, I stopped by his office to surprise
him with lunch. I know, I know, but it was
his birthday and Sarah was supposedly out sick. Guess who
was there, Sarah. She'd miraculously recovered and bought him a
cake that said it's in my work hubby, with a
photo of them from the office holiday party. She saw

(27:34):
me and said, oh, Amy, you came too. How nice Mark.
You didn't tell me your real wife was coming?

Speaker 4 (27:40):
Well?

Speaker 3 (27:40):
I oh, why divorce? Divorce, divorce, divorce. I've been here
this entire time.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
I think this.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
Would activate like the sleeper cell. I mean, I would
just I'd become like Moonnight. I would just black out
and wake up.

Speaker 9 (27:54):
Yeah, and she'd be on the floor.

Speaker 5 (27:56):
I'm not crazy, right, This woman is trying to destroy
my marriage while my husband stand there grinning like it's
all some big joke.

Speaker 4 (28:01):
What do I do?

Speaker 5 (28:02):
Divorce seems extreme, but I'm running out of options here.
And Edit, I should have stated that the promotion wasn't
one that would increase his salary, but his title. It
would give him more leadership experience. It still blows my
mind that he turned it down just so we could
stay on the same team. It's sorry at least the
specialists and edit, I should have told the MYX story
in its entirety. She accidentally broke the mind.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Oh yeah, sure, yeah, And she accidentally has done everything right.

Speaker 4 (28:27):
It's all big accident.

Speaker 5 (28:29):
I noticed it was gone when I was visiting him
one day and I asked him about it. He said
she accidentally knocked it over, and then later he repeated
a joke she made about how it didn't fit the
office aesthetic. Yeah, okay, there are cons and there's an update.
But the aesthetic is that you are not his wife
in the office.

Speaker 4 (28:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
The aesthetic is that you are not married to your
wife and instead you're married to this.

Speaker 5 (28:49):
Honestly, this really cringey. Pick me girl, so cringeym Oh
my god. I think you have to have a conversation.
I mean, you've already had conversation with your husband, but
you have to be like, hey, she is destroying our marriage. Yeah,
you have to put up boundaries with her because or
we have to go through some a lot of marriage
therapy because this isn't working.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
You need to be You're being honest, incredibly disrespect making
you feel like it's ultimatum time. It's like, if you
can't see this, honestly, that changes everything that I think
about you. If you're so blind to this, I don't
even know why I want to stay with you anyway.

Speaker 5 (29:19):
Top comments. Medieval Misfits says, Sarah would not be able
to sabotage your marriage if your husband wasn't allowing it.
S bored Most nineteen thirty three. You have a husband problem.
Go to counseling and get professional help to communicate your concerns.
Remind him that he's married to you, not Sarah, so
her opinions shouldn't matter when it comes to your marriage.
Good luck, but be prepared for the worst. Late Butterfly

(29:40):
fifty nine ninety seven says, Yeah, this guy isn't oblivious.
He's complicit exactly. He knows what's happening, and he likes
the attention. He is happy to let his girlfriend disrespect
his wife, and there is an update. I can't imagine
he's so oblivious that he just.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
Can't like can the wife go to his hr?

Speaker 5 (29:58):
But there is an update. Yiye I thirty one female,
posted a few days ago. I really didn't expect my
post to blow up the way it did. I got
so overwhelmed by all the comments that I haven't responded
to any I want to address everyone who says it's fake.
I understand why you think that, but this is my
personal hell. I only listened to Reddit stories on TikTok,
but when this reached its boiling point, I just needed

(30:19):
a place to talk, so I made an account and
tried to yell into the void.

Speaker 9 (30:22):
Well the boyd turned out to be less empty than
I thought.

Speaker 5 (30:24):
Now to why everyone is here the update. Before I
talked to my husband thirty two mail, I decided to
do some investigation. I started with his phone and read
all the messages between him and Sarah. She bad mouthed
me a few times. He did nothing to defend me,
but didn't engage either. She was flirty, he wasn't really
flirty back. They talked a lot, and he praised her

(30:45):
frequently for her work, ethic and intelligence. I didn't see
anything about cheating. I checked his email, nothing. I checked
his work email, nothing. I looked through our other devices nothing.
I searched high and low for a second phone.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
Nothing.

Speaker 5 (30:57):
Everything I found was always dancing that line. Nothing was
outright cheating. But here are the things I found that
did hurt my feelings. One, he has lunch with her
and only her every day.

Speaker 8 (31:07):
In the office.

Speaker 5 (31:08):
I don't really like anyone else, so they'll criticize others
and say let's talk. Were at lunch, they're serving x
y z. Each day he'd say things like, I'm sure
if you were a wife, you would x y z.
He always kept it as a wife and not my wife.

Speaker 9 (31:19):
But it's still upset.

Speaker 5 (31:21):
Yeah, she admitted to breaking the mug on purpose.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
Oh girl, if you don't get away from him, I am.

Speaker 4 (31:30):
Throwing you in a volcano.

Speaker 5 (31:31):
He didn't get upset with her, just said, yeah, the
photo gifts are kind of corny.

Speaker 4 (31:36):
Excuse me, excuse me. You're gonna call the a thoughtful
mug corny.

Speaker 6 (31:41):
You're gonna call the.

Speaker 9 (31:42):
Mug of your wedding your wedding photo mug? Cornie?

Speaker 4 (31:46):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (31:46):
What is this vibe? It's like it feels like weaponized incompetence.

Speaker 5 (31:50):
But it's not even I feel like it's not even
the competence. I feel like it's it's like he knows
what he's doing right.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
But no, the way he's trying to play it is like,
oh yeah, he's like, I'm saying a wife instead of
my wife.

Speaker 4 (32:03):
It's like we're just like joking around. It's like my
work wife.

Speaker 5 (32:06):
Like I confronted him, I laid it all out and
while he wasn't upset. He did try to brush things off.
He said it was being sensitive and overreacting. I told him,
if we didn't have a real conversation about this, I
would file for divorce. Good that got his attention, and
he sat down with me. He admitted that at first
he found it odd that Sarah was trying so hard.
He saw her trying hard with all the men in

(32:27):
the office. The more attention she gave him, the more
he enjoyed it, and the more he responded. The more
attention she gave until she just had her sights on him.
He knew some of the other men were envious, and
he liked that too. He admitted that eventually he just
got too deep. He said he knew it was wrong,
but he had gotten to the attention and didn't want
her to move on to another man, so he indulged
her sometimes at my expense. He said it was just

(32:50):
nice to have two women in the two major parts
of his life, stating that he knew we'd rarely see
one another.

Speaker 9 (32:55):
So what was the harm I'm about to harm you?

Speaker 2 (32:58):
You know exactly what the literally just fully laid out
exactly what the harm is now, which is that You're
like a little boy who's like getting attention from a
girl for the first time, Like he's like fourteen. He
hit this guy, like, what is wrong with your fully
grown man with a wife. Get the attention you're wanting
from your freaking wife, dummy.

Speaker 5 (33:20):
He reiterated that he'd never ever physically cheated with her,
but admitted it could be called an emotional affair. It
was painful. I won't hide that. I mean really painful.
Like I wasn't enough. I told him from this point
on he needed to stop communicating with Sarah and asked
to be transferred or switch jobs all together. Now, folks,
I mean it when I tell you this. He lost

(33:42):
his He began raising his voice, saying things like he
never cheated, it was all above board, and I couldn't
control you talked to at work, But.

Speaker 9 (33:49):
You can't control who you divorce.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
Divorce.

Speaker 5 (33:51):
You called me a self absorbed person and a control freak.
You told me I had no idea how hard it was,
how much stress he had in the office, and that
is in relationship with Sarah helps a lot. Taking it
away would just damage his mental health. It got so
bad that I started crying. I couldn't take it anymore
and decided to leave good. I packed a small bag
and called my mother in law. She's the only family

(34:13):
I have here. I gave her a rundown of what
was going on. She just offered her home to me.
I'm staying here and just hoping my husband calms down
so we can revisit this girl.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
Divorce, divorce, divorce, divorced, divorce.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Or at least the very least separation. It needs to
be like, you guys, got to work this out.

Speaker 7 (34:31):
It's like you know, on the you know what, like
stadiums and like games of you defense. Yeah, going de worst.

Speaker 4 (34:37):
Well, I think if you really wanted to like find
out like is.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
This salvageable, it's like if you just separate and then
he immediately starts hooking up with this.

Speaker 4 (34:45):
Trawl up at the office.

Speaker 5 (34:47):
I think the fact that he went op expressed concerns.
He was like, no, you can't do that. He just
starts screaming in her.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
Well, yeah, of course, because he's he's hyper. He's clearly
hyper defensive.

Speaker 5 (34:57):
I want to work it out. I love him more
than anything. You can't work the zone.

Speaker 9 (35:00):
I don't think you Canmrna.

Speaker 5 (35:01):
I will try harder to answer comments on this post.
I will definitely update if something new happens and there
are some comments different. Ads says, well, but I kind
of figured he wasn't that glueless. This is a full
blown emotional affair. From experience, things will only escalate till
they are in bed together. Protect your piece because he
sure doesn't give a dang about your feelings. Stay strong,
Choger sucks says, jump right from admitted it could be

(35:24):
called an emotional affair to he began raising his voice
saying things like you never cheated. Oh, he made a
valiant effort, but it doesn't seem like this marriage can
be saved. And Op says, my mother in law is
on my side and told me point blank that he
is wrong. Yes, good mother in law he is. However,
she said she doesn't want to get in the middle
because she doesn't want to damage the relationship with either
one of us. She told me I'm welcome as long

(35:45):
as I need, but she won't bring up anything to
your son until he brings it up to her.

Speaker 9 (35:50):
And I want to bring up that.

Speaker 5 (35:51):
You guys can listen to full episodes of stories just
like this, just go to Apple Podcasts. Spotify or your
favorite podcast Happen Search Up with Gas story Time.

Speaker 9 (35:58):
Yeah, that was so smooth.

Speaker 4 (36:00):
That was the smoothest.

Speaker 5 (36:02):
My mother in law agrees his actions are wrong, but
doesn't want things to escalate or to damage her relationship
with either one of us, so she is staying out
of it unless he contacts her. As for my husband,
he has tried to reach out. He's called, left messages, texted.
I let him know I was safe and left it
at that. You will message or call every few hours,
but we haven't talked, and that is the end of

(36:22):
the start. I think it's divorce. I think it's divorce.
I don't think this can be saved or salvaged.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
I think it's like, at the very least, it would
require like very intense therapy to figure out why he
was like absolutely so in need of the emotional validation
at work from this girl. Truly, we did say, is
like talking to all of the men in the office
like this.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
Yeah, but then he's just like we needed to be
able to get to my day, and it's like shu,
like everyone has our job. Get around. Shut up, dude,
you're probably just.

Speaker 5 (36:51):
Like sending freaking emails, probably have a fake email job.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
You're you're just you're you're gross for having a work
like a work wife is supposed to be like the joke.
Like then it became like real, she's breaking your anniversary gifts.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Stop it, stop it, get it smoother.

Speaker 9 (37:07):
But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
Hey John Ogi host here, We're gonna get back to
this episode. But a quick three minute break of ads
from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
I got accused of cheating with a random girl. It
almost destroyed my relationship.

Speaker 4 (37:20):
Yeah, that'll do it.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for four years
and it honestly couldn't have been going better up until
the events of this weekend. We love being with each other,
and I was saving up for an engagement ring so
that I could propose in the next year or so.
I would never cheat on her, and even the thought
of it makes me sick. By the way, this comes
from Facebook lies. If you want to submit your own stories,
going to ours lash. Okay, story time, So about it.

(37:43):
So this weekend, she received a Facebook message from a
girl that we had both gone to school with. Neither
me nor my girlfriend were close friends with her in
high school or even really friends at all. I think
we added her when we first got Facebook, and you know,
you just add everyone back in those days. Yeah, I
have like a billion Facebook friends from high school and
college that I no longer know it all. Anyway, this

(38:05):
is the general idea of her message.

Speaker 8 (38:08):
Hi, my girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
I know we haven't talked in a long time, but
I had to get something off of my chest. You
were in New York City last year. Me and my
name got together and had spicy sleep. We had been
messaging for a long time before and didn't plan on
getting physical, but then it happened. After that weekend, I
cut it off and didn't see my name again. The
guilt is getting to be too much, and I just

(38:31):
can't live my life seeing you and him happy together
as if nothing happened. I'm sorry. I know you can't
forgive me, but I needed to tell you. Of course,
my girlfriend confronted me about it.

Speaker 4 (38:42):
Yeah, and I was blindsided.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
Evn't talked to or thought about this girl in years,
and she was only my Facebook friend because I'd forgotten
that she was still there. I completely denied it, and
I was shaking and freaking out. My girlfriend was indeed
in New York City, last year, which you can easily
find out by looking at her Facebook albums. There's one
called New York City fourteen. And of course that weekend
I just sat at home and watched Netflix by myself.

(39:07):
So I don't have any way to prove this girl wrong.
I explained to my girlfriend that I have no idea
what this girl's talking about, and that I would never
do that to her. I showed her my phone, I
showed her my message logs, everything that I could think of.
Obviously nothing was there. Calms down a little bit, but
I can tell she's still completely upset, and I don't
blame her. She says that she wants to believe me,
but that it's really hard right now that she needs

(39:29):
some time to think. Guys, I'm really scared. I don't
want to lose the love of my life over something
like this. Why would someone do this? Is there some
way that I could reassure my girlfriend that I didn't cheat.
I don't want to contact this crazy girl at all,
but I don't know if that could help somehow.

Speaker 8 (39:46):
I need some advice. Do you have an edit?

Speaker 2 (39:48):
We?

Speaker 4 (39:48):
Do you have an updates but updata?

Speaker 8 (39:50):
Ruski Dakota, what would you do in this situation, Dakota.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
My vibes would be immaculate. I'd be like, I don't
know what this is.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
I mean, I think him showing all the Texans was like,
you know, a way maybe to build a little trust.
I would say with the contacting the person, I would like,
tell your girlfriend's like, hey, I don't know who this is.
Can we contact her from my account? See what's going on?

Speaker 4 (40:11):
I'd be like, let me talk to her. Yeah, who
is this? She says, I was what who?

Speaker 1 (40:16):
Yeah, let me talk to her. Shiloh Ocean says Ope
is lying.

Speaker 4 (40:21):
Ohp is.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
Harrel William says OPI made a post to hide his act.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
Would you say this is a conspiracy experience?

Speaker 4 (40:28):
No, sometimes people are just nuts.

Speaker 8 (40:30):
I think it could be potential nuts. I don't think
OP did it.

Speaker 5 (40:32):
Edit.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Thanks everyone who's so far responded. I'm at work at
the moment, so I can't really apply to everyone, but
I have been trying to read through them when I can.
I didn't even think about my Netflix history, so thanks
to everyone that suggested it. I'm going to look when
I get home. The girl didn't say in her message
if I was at her place or if she came
up of mind, so I'm hoping I didn't watch something
like Unfaithful that could look like I was watching it
with someone else. I'll try to update with my results

(40:54):
later at A two. I'm at my lunch break now.
To the people that are suggested getting phone records, thanks
for the other idea. I've never had to do that before,
so I'll try to find out what I need to do.
And to the people saying that this post is to
cover my own but for cheating, I can assure you
that's not the case. My girlfriend is not and if
I showed her this and said, hey see, I asked

(41:14):
for help, she probably be extra suspicious rather than play caked.
I won't be showing her this. I just wanted some
advice on how to show that I'm being honest, and
I've gotten some good help so far. I'll try to
keep you guys updated. We got some comments, We got
an update. A little fire Girl says conspiracy theory, somebody
actually knows used the account of catfish him and then
mess with his life because they are in love with him.

(41:35):
I think that's the most.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
Exactly awes someone's trying to break up their relationships so
that they can have their chance.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
But comments your girl could ask for more proof. Perhaps
she's confused you for someone else. I don't know how
messed up she is. You could also ask your girlfriend
if you could ask her why she should say such
a thing. Make sure that whatever you do to discuss
with her and do it with permission and perhaps with
your girlfriend next to you. Don't do anything alone because
that looks shady as f Did you hang out with

(42:01):
anyone at that time? Is there a Netflix history log
and he receives slash online purchases, slash things that could
track your whereabouts, bank statements, how she said where this
spicy sleep allegedly happened. If she says your house, ask
her to describe the room, et cetera. Also any mutual
friends that might have a grudge against your girlfriend or
a crush on you. Edit Additionally, ask for the date

(42:22):
i e. The Friday and time this allegedly happened in
case you have any other log slash emails from that time.
If you don't, ask her if you sent any text
during that time she claims you were together. Basically, it's
a fifty to fifty gamble, but if she guesses wrong,
it disproves a lot more than if she guesses correctly. Also,
what's her Facebook status activity of that time? Maybe you
can find further clues there. You gotta basically nail this

(42:44):
person down to the lie. Can't be an amorphous lie.
Like he's cheating you. It's like he cheated on me
in his room on the night of Friday the seventeenth,
and his room was black with little worms on his pillows.

Speaker 4 (42:59):
Why is vibe so suspicious?

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Get phone records and get Netflix histories and get this
against just.

Speaker 4 (43:05):
Like because his relationship is question.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
I know that my reaction would be like so incredulous
and so like, I'm innocent.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
Whatever.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
You can DNA sweep the whole house. You could do
whatever you want. I or the FBI, I did do
anything with this person, so I don't.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Yeah care reply. Netflix has viewing history, show your girlfriend
those logs. Everything since you created your account will be
on there. And we have the update. So let's get
into it.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
Update he was cheating.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
I got home before my girlfriend today, so I started
looking into what I was doing while she was in
New York last year. I pulled up Netflix and saw
that I had been binging on Dexter that weekend and
was watching it almost non stop. As others have mentioned,
that doesn't really prove anything, but I figured it wouldn't
hurt my case. As I was doing this, my girlfriend
arrived home and sat with me in the living room.

(43:52):
I could tell that she was still in a weird place,
but she seemed a little better. I mentioned the Dexter
Marathon and she said that sounds like something I would
do if left alone. I asked her to open up
Facebook and bring up the message one more time so
that I could process everything at once and we could
get to the bottom of us. When she logged in,
she had a new message. The message was from the
older sister of the girl that had messaged my girlfriend.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Mmmm.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
This was strange as her and my girlfriend aren't friends.
I vaguely know her, but only realized it was the
girl's sister before she opened the message because of the
last name it's pretty uncommon. In the message, the sister
explained that she didn't know my girlfriend and understood that
it was odd to get a message from her, but
she needed to clear things up. She and girl live
together now, and Girl had been going through a bit

(44:39):
of a rough patch lately. The girl had been attempting
to deal with some personal issues on her own, and
it seemed that things got out of hand. She didn't
explain exactly how, but said that through conversations with girl,
she had discovered the Facebook messages to my girlfriend. She
looked through older messages as well and found that girl
had sent similar messages to five other people in the

(44:59):
last week, and it all followed the same pattern. She
would say when you were at X or when you
were out of town during X time period that she
had spicy sleep with the girl's boyfriend.

Speaker 4 (45:11):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
The sister explained that she has now attempted to contact
all of these people to apologize for all the problems
that her sister has caused. She assured my girlfriend that
her sister and I were never together and that girl
seemed to be getting some type of perverse, catfish type
of enjoyment from this. She finished the message by telling
my girlfriend that she could contact her at any time
if just to vent to her about her sister, but

(45:33):
that she would not allow her sister to be contacted
directly at this time. Her Facebook was going to be
deleted and she would be seeking professional help. Honestly, great
sister here we go.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Yeah, do you need professional help if you're trying to
sabotage other people's relationships because you're oh yeah, stuff.

Speaker 4 (45:47):
That's like villainous behavior.

Speaker 8 (45:50):
Yeah, you are being a villain.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Shiloh osin watch them have made that account to covers
But no, no, no, you didn't make It's not a new account.
It's not a new account. It is from the diriginal,
it's from the original account.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
If they're like no op is yeah, like.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Opie is cheating and covering his butt, her Facebook was
going to be leaded and she would be seeking at
professional help. Immediately after reading this, my girlfriend broke down crying.
It seemed like a lot of the stress and anger
of the last few days was being released all at once.

Speaker 8 (46:18):
Oh she was.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
I held her and teared up a bit as well,
thinking about I was scared of losing her. When she
had gained a bit of composure, she started to apologize
to me for not immediately believing that I was innocent,
but I told her that she didn't have any reason
to be sorry. I told her that kind of out
of the blue message would shake anyone, and that I
couldn't imagine being on her side of this. By the way,

(46:40):
you can listen to full episodes of stories just like this.
We go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast
app in search. Okay, story time, there's another relevant update, which.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
I'll go straight into.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
We just sat there for a while and enjoyed being
there with each other. She's taking an app now as
she hasn't had a lot of sleep in the last
few days, and I'm just sitting here in a kind
of haze. I'm so happy that her sister reached out
to us, but I just kept thinking about how scary
it is and we could so easily be manipulated. I
genuinely hope that girl gets the help that she needs,
because I can't imagine the mindset that you would need

(47:11):
to be to do something like this. Thanks to everyone
that gave advice, I really do appreciate every single suggestion.
My grandmother insulted my girlfriend in another language. She didn't
know my girlfriend and could understand her.

Speaker 8 (47:26):
Oh you embarrass me.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
I've been dating this girl, we'll call her Olivia, for
four months. She is of Jamaican descent but born in
the US. I was born in Cuba, but came to
the States when I was one By the way, this
comes from better Yak too, and if you want us
make your own stories, go to our slash Okay storytime
on our subreddit. So I would say very very American eyed.
Though I grew up speaking Spanish at home, the area

(47:50):
where we currently live doesn't have many Latino people, so
it's not assumed that people understand Spanish. When I started
dating her, I asked her if she could speak Spanish
and she said not really and that her Spanish, and
we didn't really address it further. I was really eager
to introduce her to my family, as I thought my
mom and dad would love her, and they had been
asking about her for a while, so it invited them
to our house for dinner with my mom, my dad,

(48:11):
my grandmother, and my teenage brother. My abuela can't speak
English much at all, but everyone else can. My abuela
can be very judgmental and cranky and basically an a hole,
giant little a hole at times, especially since her husband
passed away and then she had a stroke three years ago.

Speaker 8 (48:27):
Rough I told her before to be nice.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
However, I also told them she couldn't speak Spanish because
that's what I assumed. So Olivia came over and everything
was going good for the most part.

Speaker 8 (48:37):
She got along well with.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
My family, and my mom especially was nicer. However, my
grandmother decided she was in a nasty mood and started
talking crap about her. She said that she didn't expect
Olivia to be so dark in how she looked more African.
She asked her she came from a good family and
said if my grandfather was alive, he would not approve
of her, and it's better to date a girl who

(48:58):
can speak Spanish. Most black people won't even bother to
learn it. She even said that my last girlfriend was
much prettier than her. This is honestly, blatantly untrue. Olivia's gorgeous,
and most people say so. She made sure not to
make it obvious she was talking about her and didn't
gesture to her at all and mostly faced the TV
when she spoke. I was mortified and couldn't believe she

(49:19):
was saying this. I told her to stop twice, but
since I assumed Olivia didn't understand, I mostly brushed it
off and tried to ignore her, since I didn't want
to make a scene and I didn't want to make
it apparent to Olivia that she was talking about her.
Olivia is the biggest sweetheart, but is really insecure and
has suffered from anxiety in the past, and I just
didn't want to make it worse. My mom told her
to be quiet as well, but my grandmother just didn't
give an f and continues with snide comments to make

(49:43):
things worse. My dad and brother just laughed at the
absurdity of the situation. Oh not a good look.

Speaker 4 (49:48):
Not a good look, dude, I want to snap back.
I'll be snapping back.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
I don't think they really found it funny, but it
was more of there she goes again crazy, a Buila
type thing. Olivia acted pleasant for most of the night
and suddenly claimed she had migraines and she needed to leave.
She thanked them all but left in a hurry. I
already suspected she could understand some of what was said,
and I felt terrible after she left. I told my
grandmother off for how she acted. I tried calling Olivia

(50:14):
that night, but she ignored my calls until the next evening,
when she finally answered, do you think she's gonna be mad?

Speaker 8 (50:19):
At Opie?

Speaker 2 (50:20):
They would imagine she is, However, you just immediately explain
your situation where it's like, oh my god, if I
knew you spoke Spanish, I would have like immediately been
like way more upset.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
I asked if she was okay, and she admitted that
she took Spanish for five years and although she has
no confidence to speak it or Spanish comprehension.

Speaker 8 (50:36):
Is fairly good.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
I apologize profusely, but she was angry. She was mad
since I didn't tell her I had a discriminatory family.
She was mad that my dad and brother laughed at
her expense, and was furious that I didn't defend her
or end up to my grandmother. I tried to explain
the whole not wanting to cause a scene thing, but
she didn't buy it at all. She said she felt
like an because her friend told her a lot of
Cubans are discriminatory, and she defended me so much in

(50:59):
a qu used her friend of being bigoted knucklehead, and
how much I embarrassed her and made her feel like crap.
So I just don't know how to fix this. She
is furious at me, and I understand why. But I
was really serious with her and in love with her,
and we work so well together. I don't want to
lose her over this. I feel like she thinks my
whole family are discriminatory a holes as well, when it's
definitely not the case my whali, but my family has

(51:22):
no choice but to put up with her. My mom
and dad do not have a discriminatory bone in their body,
and my brother isn't either. I agree my dad and
brother were crap for laughing at my grandmother's rants, but
they didn't know what else to do, and we're more
laughing at how obnoxious she was being. Is there any
way I can possibly come back from this? Anyone has
similar experiences. I just don't know what to do or

(51:43):
how to make it up for her. He really is angry,
and I feel like I hurt her a lot, and
there are some comments.

Speaker 4 (51:49):
In reality, you pick and choose your battles.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
That was not a battle to be had in that moment,
with the information that he had about Olivia, With the
information and the current context of the circumstances, I think
maybe he did say I would have snapped back a
little bit more at the dad and brother who were laughing.

Speaker 4 (52:07):
I'd be like, this is not funny, Yeah, this is
not funny. Stop laughing.

Speaker 8 (52:10):
Yeah, all you can do is speak.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
To the truth of the situation from your perspective and
do it in a way that's honest.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
Oh, as Eagle says, she should be angry and know
this is over.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
It's fair.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
I mean you're gonna have to you might have to
accept your stumbled Yeah, ke On, what do you think
the appropriate thing would be to do in this situation?

Speaker 7 (52:29):
I would just be upset. Like, if it's to me,
I don't care. But if this is someone I care
about and like they're being serious about it, I might chill.
Why are you saying that kind of thing for You're
to be negative and toxic no matter what in any language.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
I'm not gonna deal with it.

Speaker 4 (52:42):
I'm at one. Sorry.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
But regardless of whether she could understand or not, you
didn't actually defend her, which.

Speaker 4 (52:47):
Is a little bit of what we're saying.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
That's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
Yeah, this post talks too much about her comprehension of
the Spanish language, rather than the fact that your grandmother
is discriminatory and you should have felt the needs to
offend your girlfriend and take her out of that environment,
whether or not.

Speaker 8 (52:58):
She could understand.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
Didn't you want to leave after hearing your grandmother be
so horrible didn't make you mad. Screwmaking a scene. I'm
with her on this. You can claim the rest of
your family was laughing at your grandmother and not with her,
but regardless, no one stood up for her. Disown your
grandmother if you're serious about this girl, if not, let
her go and find someone who will have enough respect
for her not to put her in that position. Maya buela,

(53:21):
but my family has no choice but to put up
with her. Why does she own all your houses and cars?
What's wrong with In a mutually comprehensible language, Grandma, stop
being excriminatory or shut up? Your family is discriminatory. Poops,
you're relaxed about okay, and we have an update.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
That comment is weird because I feel like that's exactly
what Opie did. OPI in Spanish is going to grandma
and being like, Grandma, stop stop saying that, stop it,
but it wasn't enough, and then she just still sits
there and.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
Goes blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, and
he goes, Grandma, stop it, stop stop it.

Speaker 8 (53:52):
But like we got an update.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
People gave me a really hard time in my original post,
and it made me realize how much of a dumbt
but I was being. I apologized profusely to Olivia and
called out my extremely behavior and basically begged for forgiveness.

Speaker 8 (54:07):
He's on his knees.

Speaker 1 (54:07):
After a couple more days of being mad at me,
she was willing to talk to my parents and my brother,
who apologized and told her that they really loved her
and that they didn't mean to hurt her. They tried
to explain the situation with my grandmother and why she
behaved the way she did and they were just trying
to minimize drama, but that what she was saying was
wrong and they should have stood up to her. My
mother got her a gift set from Bath and body Works, costume, jewelry,

(54:28):
and chocolate to go along with the apology. So Olivia
did forgive me and my family, which I am so
relieved about because I really am crazy about this girl.
I'm definitely not going to take this for granted. A
week ago, my brother, Olivia and I went to an
amusement park and my brother and her actually got along
really well, and she's definitely convinced he doesn't secretly hate
black people. I never thought my brother was discriminatory. When

(54:50):
he was in middle school he dated a black girl.
He's only fifteen, so I definitely don't blame him for
what happened. It was my dad's fault for laughing. But yeah,
he really likes her and is glad she doesn't hate him.
My mom invited Olivia to a beach with our family
on Saturday. I have way less stayed at home good
and although she mostly stayed by me and my brother,
she seemed to get along reasonably with my parents and
seemed to believe their apology, although she was a bit

(55:12):
hesitant to go. By the way, you should never be
hesitant to go to our podcast, Okay story Time wherever
you get your pod Apple Podcasts, Spotify, your favorite podcast app,
just search Okay Storytime.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
Correct.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
I've told my grandmother that if she wants to be
actively part of her life, she must apologize to Olivia.
I do think OPI's doing everything right after the initial. Yes,
I won't say wrong, but like not doing enough after
the initial and not doing again.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
All of this is informed.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
But he didn't know his girlfriend could speak or understand
the actual language. Of course, she could pick up on
the vibes either way, but it's like the people who
needed to apologize, which are the husband and the dad
and the brother are apologizing like also in the moment.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
Those are the.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
People that you actually check where it's like if the
dad and the brother are laughing, it's like this is
not funny, and you check them immediately.

Speaker 4 (55:58):
Those are the people you can check about that.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Yeah, my grandmother actually agreed to apologize. Good, But my
girlfriend doesn't want to talk to her, and I told
her I will not force her to be around her.
But I did tell her that my grandmother is sorry
for the way she behaves. So yeah, that's my update.
I appreciated all the replies, no matter how harsh. It
really made me realize my still have a lot of
growing up to do. But I am really happy she
took me back. In another comment, I'm happy for you

(56:21):
that you didn't get dumped, but I feel sorry for
your girlfriend. That's a crapload of family interaction for her.
I've never been seriously offended by my boyfriend's family, and
I don't have to see them as frequently as you're
making your girlfriend see yours. You said yourself that your
girlfriend was hesitant to go to the beach, maybe cool
it on inviting her to hang out with people that
make her feel uncomfortable, and another replies says, it's a

(56:42):
black woman in an interracial marriage that's encountered this kind
of effery. She'll never feel completely comfortable again. She may
want to, I may not discuss this event again, but
it will always be somewhere in the back of her
mind while dealing with his family and probably with Opie.
I personally wouldn't be eager or willing to spend time
with his family again. But then again, and there's no
way I could forgive OPI's a lack of standing up

(57:02):
for Olivia. Anyone in her position deserves so much more
than that. If she were my friend, I'd be raising
red flags, but I'd bet her loved ones already are.
In comment two, might be nice to ask your grandma
to put an apology in writing so your girlfriend has
a choice to read it or not at her leisure.
That means girlfriend isn't put on the spot and isn't
forced into forgiving before she's ready. And that is where

(57:23):
that story ends. I do feel like the comments at
the end felt like, you know, punching op while he
was already trying to make things right. I feel like
he's making efforts to change and get better. Yeah, hey,
it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories. But
here's three of bits of ads from our sponsors that
keep the show alive. I found out I was reverse
catfished by my boyfriend.

Speaker 8 (57:46):
He was hotter than you expected.

Speaker 4 (57:47):
Wait, did you put your thing down? Flip it and
reverse it? Reverse?

Speaker 6 (57:50):
Reverse?

Speaker 1 (57:50):
When my boyfriend I'll call him Christian, and I met,
I was in a relationship. We were both students at
the same university. He knew this, and I confided in
him about it. No one else knew. I got out
of that, went to counseling court and everything. He knew
this and stuck with me and swore up and down
he was on my side and that he doesn't judge
me for it. By the way, this comes from Catfished OMG.
And if you want to submit your own stories, go

(58:11):
to our slash Okay story time.

Speaker 8 (58:13):
So read it.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
So I tell Christian I am not ready to date yet,
as I am still recovering, and he says he understands,
but he still sticks around. We get closer, we sleep together.
I am comforted by his company, but I still don't
want anything serious. He knows this, but continued to stick around.
Even if we were not serious. We're just sleeping together
slash keeping each other company. He'd still get really jealous
of my talking to others. Cared about him, but did

(58:36):
not want a relationship, and there were a few flags.
Christian read my diary, went through my email, read through
my post on the DV support site, and basically kept
tabs on me because he was convinced that I would
go back to my facts. But I never did. It
was never my intention. That's a little overstep.

Speaker 4 (58:52):
Those are strange vibes from Christian.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
Christian made me feel like I was damaged in a way,
but he said he did it out of concern. But
he said he did it out of concern. Also, I
placed a restraining order on my ex and never contacted him,
so Christian had no reason to think this besides his
statistically women go back to a logic. Despite this, we
eventually ended up dating seriously. I admired Christian and loved

(59:15):
him for sticking through with me, so that also influenced
my decision at least on his apartment ends. And he
doesn't have place to stay for the summer, so I
let him stay at my place. He wants us to
share an apartment together. I agree with the condition that
we put all the past behind us, and he agrees
to start anew Since I know he has jealousy slash

(59:35):
trust issues since the start of our relationship, I keep
everything open my phone, my email, ETCA, and talk in
front of him.

Speaker 8 (59:41):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (59:42):
I like having an open phone policy with my partner,
but feels like it's coming from the wrong place. Christian
and I started living together.

Speaker 8 (59:48):
And got along really well.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
I am a licensed in beauty esthetics field, so I
made really good money while going to school. At the
same time, Christian, despite being from an upper class family,
didn't want to take student loans or work outside of field,
so he lived off occasional tutoring and a small school stipend.
We split absolutely everything, even dates. I lend him money
various times when he doesn't have any food for bills.

(01:00:11):
Rent said food like split dates, like split money for dates.
I loved him, so that did not matter compared to
the good qualities he had. We stop going out completely.
I bring up that I misspending quality time with him,
even if we just eat sandwiches in the park and
he just says he doesn't have money and can't go out,
I set up and don't bring it up. He does
not have friends, We'll get upset. When I went out
with my female friends. He is controlling, Oh my goss controlling.

(01:00:36):
This caused further isolations for me since I stopped going
out with them to help build trust in the relationship.
Christian wants to go for a PhD in a niche field. Wonderful,
He's smart and enjoys it. I support him fully. This
means he has to move to another state. We were
graduating at the same time and we had been serious
for a while, so I think no biggie. During Christmas,
his family flies me to meet them. He warns me

(01:00:58):
to not tell them a few things about our relationship,
like the fact that we had pets, or that I
own a car and he drives it.

Speaker 8 (01:01:05):
What he's not lying and controlling?

Speaker 4 (01:01:07):
Why are you being so weird? Dude? Why are you
so weird?

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
His family is wonderful to me, but he never wants
to even discuss what will happen with us. I try
to talk about it, since my plans also depended on that,
but he never wants to. I let him know that
I am supported of him and don't pressure him to talk.
Fast forward six months and graduation time comes round. Christian
still does not want to talk about our future slash us.
I graduate and end up with a job offer, and

(01:01:33):
Christian ended up being unable to graduate until the following
semester because he had to rewrite his thesis.

Speaker 8 (01:01:39):
Slash.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
He loses his tutoring job, slash loses his stipend, but
at least he was accepted to the new school.

Speaker 4 (01:01:45):
He just lost so much, that's a lot. I bet
you it's because he plagari thesis.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
Yeah, or I think he's lying to his family.

Speaker 4 (01:01:55):
He's lying about how many assets he has. He's lying,
he's lying, and he's lying to you, and he's controlling,
and he's controlling, and he's controlling this.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Get away from him, Get away from him asap. I
am devastating for him. But since he refuses to address
what will happen with us, I start applying to those
jobs in various cities. I get a phone interview in
my hometown and I'm thinking about taking it. Meanwhile, our
lease is about to end. I decide I cannot leave
Christian for the job, at least for a couple of months,
because I feel bad for his horrible situation. He had
no money, no job. I had to rewrite his thesis

(01:02:22):
and depended on my car because he's not own one.
I felt horrible leaving him during this vulnerable moment. I
consol Christian. I stay up with him until five am
for weeks while he rewrote his thesis, made him coffee, food,
read his draft, gave him shoulder rubs, helped him find
another job he could do from home. I cover the
bills slash rent while his money situation gets better. Oh
my god, who are you his mom? I even made

(01:02:45):
him a silly diploma on ord for being the best
boyfriend ever?

Speaker 4 (01:02:48):
What is he doing? Best boyfriend ever? Just exists? I
had that's a nause on.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
It as a cel just being silly so you would
cheer up since he couldn't graduate yet. I tried to
be very helpful slash sweat, and then Christian starts acting strange.
I go to hug him while he was on his
laptop and he was looking at pictures of a girl
named Caroline on his Facebook. As I come closer, he
frantically switches the tab. He used my car for an errand,
and then he'd stay in the car texting on his phone,

(01:03:16):
not coming inside. He started taking his phone to the bathroom,
which is normal. I take my phone to the bathroom.
I catch him going through my phone, but I have
nothing to hide, so I let him. You know where
this is going. Basically, Christian has been reverse catfishing me
through the relationship. Wait what I found out? Caroline ended
up being a girl from a dating site. He stayed
up writing his thesis, but in reality he was talking

(01:03:37):
to her and others. I find out he tries to
portrait himself online as someone very different from real life.
He also goes into full details of my objuive relationship
with friends and girls from the dating site without being prompted,
and tells people things I only told him in confidence.
Oh my god, these messages. He's very judgmental of me
and basically makes really mean comments about things that I'm like,

(01:04:00):
severely ill and that I contributed to my own abuse.
He makes himself to be a victim of the I
was a victim of. He portrays himself as a savior
and me as an unstable woman. This was a lot
of people, including a family member of his ex girlfriend.
He has never said these awful things to me. I
would have never guessed he thought this of me because
he had no reason to think this, and he acted

(01:04:21):
completely different to me because he's a liar.

Speaker 4 (01:04:23):
He's a sociopath. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
Yeah, put this guy in the black hole, the little one,
the little black hole that turns you into spaghetti.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
He would tell me he never used Facebook, but then
I found out that he had tons of pictures on Facebook,
roughly two hundred to three hundred that he blocked me
and his family from seeing through privacy settings. He also
blocked me in his media family from seeing status updates
and wallposts. He's actually really active on social media and
tries to pass as an intellectual, but he even hit
innocuous stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:04:52):
When his thesis was.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
Finally approved, he posted an announcement, but he blocked me
and his family from saying that the girls from dating
sites could slash wood see and comment on these things.
Though I also have pets and foster raised kittens, I'm
very involved in volunteering, and he would take pictures I
had taken of my pets and post them as his
own or post like he was fostering them by himself
on Facebook and dating sites. He's like, Oh, I'm so,

(01:05:14):
I'm so sympathetic, Look at me. Take care of this puppy.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
This is like you make a police report and you
put him to any website that has like a database
of like creepy weirdo liars on dating sites.

Speaker 6 (01:05:26):
I don't know if there is one.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
Kittie got your tongue says, please see she left. She's
not leaving yet, she's saying. Tyler says, get the f out, girl, Rod.
He made posts like I never existed, or like he
had done stuff alone and blocked me from seeing this.
On his private settings. He would never post pictures of
us together, and I attributed this to shyness that we
had hundreds of pictures with his X. I didn't think
anything bad of it. I just thought he was shy.

Speaker 4 (01:05:49):
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
Even during my graduation and graduation dinner when my family
was there, he could not stop talking to girls from
dating sites or talking badly about me to others, which
blind side me because we were very solidom having arguments
into my face. He would say how wonderful I was,
how is his little family and best friend h while
simultaneously trying to create this compassionate, pseudo intellectual image online

(01:06:12):
that is very false.

Speaker 4 (01:06:14):
Freaking monster freak.

Speaker 1 (01:06:17):
So I took the job in my hometown and left
our apartment. Our least was ending anyway, and he would
be leaving to his new school after me. That point,
I knew some of the stuff he had been hiding,
but later found out a dating profile and more evidence
of lying slash cheating. I calmly talked to him before
I left and gave him a chance to come clean,
but did not tell him all I knew. He never
confessed and maintained the stance that I was amazing and

(01:06:40):
wonderful his best friend. I love his life, and at
that point I am confused. As I was leaving, he
was bawling his eyes out, begging me to keep talking
to him every day, and as I got in my
car to finally leave, ask me if I would go
to the new state with him because he loves me
so much.

Speaker 4 (01:06:54):
This is absurd. I don't think I'd be able to
stomach it. When he's like a crying like I'm gonna
miss you who talked to me every day, I'd be like,
I actually know the truth. That's all I would say.

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
People, if you ever want a liar that you know
is lying to just crumble into dust in front of you,
you just don't tell them what you know. You just
go I know everything, But what do you mean you
know everything? Like, don't don't even do that I know
the truth, and then just watch them crumble into dust.

Speaker 1 (01:07:21):
Well, let's see what this person has to say. I
don't answer because I do not know this person anymore.
I wrote him a letter and send it through snail mail, calmly,
politely explaining what I knew, dates and pictures. This cat
fishing seems to be from when he met me all
the way to the day I left her house. I
tell him I have no ill feelings towards him crazy
and wished him a nice life. Wow, but that I

(01:07:41):
could never trust him again. Yeah, how could you trust
someone that is cheating on you this aggressively?

Speaker 4 (01:07:46):
No ill feelings?

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
You should have some ill feelings, you should be ill feelings. Well,
make sure you never get into the situation again. I
feel ill right now. The reason I sent a letter
is because, knowing how much I love him and care,
I would probably forget him, but he would probably never
admit or apologize to me, and he keep using me anyway,
but you should always use us by joining our podcast,

(01:08:09):
Okay story Time by type ity tappened that wherever you
get your podcast, whether it be Spotify, out Podcasts, your
favorite podcast app, just search okay storytime.

Speaker 4 (01:08:18):
Please help me.

Speaker 8 (01:08:20):
I need real arms.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
Honestly, I'm not sure who the heck I even dated.
He seems attracted to girls in vulnerable situations yikes, and
maybe is intimidated that I was independent. All the girls
he has dated have been in a situation where he
is sort of a caretaker. How do you call a
person that has attracted to vulnerable people? Is there a
name for this? What do you guys think? I have
not contacted him since, but I feel very hurt used, betrayed,

(01:08:44):
and basically rejudged and invalidated over my past abusive relationships.
He acted completely different to who he was. Any advice
slash comments are welcome. Girls, stay far away, stay it
out away. Get When people start controlling your life, I
believe that they don't have your best interests at heart,

(01:09:04):
and they're going to get crazy at some point

All Episodes

I found out that my girlfriend’s having an AFFAIR…so I’m starting a new life! | Reddit Stories

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Are You A Charlotte?

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I found out that my girlfriend’s having an AFFAIR…so I’m starting a new life! | Reddit Stories