I gave my mother-in-law MULTIPLE chances… but I finally reached my breaking point! - r/JUSTNOMIL | Reddit Stories | EP2301 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is John, your og Okay
story Time podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy
stories coming up. But if you want to hear that deliciousness,
you know, just stick around for a two minute break
with a word from our sponsors. I gave my mother
in law multiple chances, but I finally reached my breaking point.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I just can't taken anymore.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Can't do it. My mother in law has been an
absolute nightmare since the moment I became part of this family.
Years ago. I met, engaged, married and fallen pregnant by
my husband extremely fast who it felt extremely fast, Yeah,
the way that was written. When we first called to
announce the marriage. She turned her nose up and sent
a message to my husband shortly after our call to

(00:40):
let him know that she was having a hard time
letting go, but she will respect his decision. By the way,
this comes from specific Noase thirty seven ninety nine And
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay Storytime subrendan. So, through our unfortunate miscarriage,
we were able to fall pregnant again extremely quickly, much
to our surprise. A few months later, this time around
I was met with constant belittlement and criticism from mother

(01:03):
in law about how we weren't ready and how I
have no idea what I'm in for. My husband is
extremely close with his father, and so phone calls meant
for the two of them, where mother in law button
and gave her two cents directed at me more often.
One time, I had overheard her saying something extremely negative
about me to my husband while they were on the phone.
She was on speaker, and I very quickly started to

(01:25):
growl resentment for this woman, as would anyone. Yeah, I
took extra precautions to make sure I was reaching out
to her, that I was recognizing my own feelings with
my own mother for which I had to have intense
therapy to overcome, and to avoid projecting that onto dear
husband's relationship with his mom. Hey, that's kudos to you
for being very, very thoughtful in your approach there. We

(01:46):
even went to couple therapy for this because he kept
insisting that she never means it in that way. She
doesn't mean it that way. I don't care.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Why do you say it in that way exactly?

Speaker 1 (01:59):
Anyways, after a few visits of their home cross country
and meeting some of the extended family. I was getting
a clear picture with each interaction. This lady was a
full blown self absorbed person. I tried to mention this
to my husband time and time again, but he was
so deep in the trenches of her manipulation. Finally, once
our first child was born, mother in law sent a

(02:19):
pretty damning text message to my husband about the birth
of our child that allowed dear husband to start seeing
through the veil that child especial becomes she comes from
you and me. Hmmm, gee, hey, mom, last time I checked,
you and I didn't make this baby.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, what what's that about?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Last time I checked, it was my wife. Who's me
and the baby? Not you, my mother and me. Nom.
My husband literally paused my shower to show me the text,
and though while I prioritized validating his emotions of discussed
and frustration, I couldn't help but to notice my own
feelings of vindication. Yes, so, since that moment a year ago,

(03:03):
he's been able to slowly come to terms with the
idea that maybe she really is the person his family
has been telling him she is. But the final nail
in the coffin was our holiday visit that just recently
occurred for this saga, I'm going to make it very
brief because if I go into detail, I'm going to
exhaust you all from the read this has become already.

(03:24):
Christmas morning, my mother in law stormed out during gift
giving because father in law failed to prepare a specific
toy to be used immediately from opening. Again, just to
remind everyone, my daughter is eleven months old. She is
not capable of long term memory. After sucking the air
and the joy out of the room, she decided to

(03:45):
hide away upstairs after verbally tearing into father in law
in front of my daughter, sister in law and husband.
Father in law and mother in law began to argue
and escalate in their room, which was situated right next
to dear husband and I room, making it impossible to
put the little one down for her nap, So we
had to evacuate the house for hours on Christmas Day

(04:06):
to get away from the mess at home with sister
in law in tow. Great first Christmas as a mother
and as a family, torpedoed by mother in law Q
two a few days later, where mother in law had
a huge party plan for extended family and partners, neighbors, included.
About two hours into the event, I made the mistake
of encountering mother in law sobbing, absolutely blackout wasted on

(04:31):
the couch in the living room upstairs. Oh my, I
already have my feelings on this woman, but I decide
to sit next to her and hear her out to
comfort her. She goes over her failing marriage and mentions
feelings of betrayal and wanting out. Great, now I'm stuck
here next to her. Well, this is enough of a
pattern to where as I'm comforting her and people are
cycling in and out of the kitchen, they're all throwing

(04:54):
me looks of remorse as they grab what they need
and return downstairs. Oh wow, remorse for me, not for
the mom. Finally, one of the more seasoned family members
steps in and relieves me of my duties. I go
back to the downstairs area, where I met with a
circle of people who want to know what's going on.
I debrief and everyone is now on the same page

(05:16):
of what's happening. About an hour later, crap hits the fan.
So mind you, my child has been tucked away upstairs,
sleeping soundly in her crib for a while. Now, my
mother in law returns to her room, which again is
right next to dear husband and the baby and I
have been sharing for the stay, and she starts throwing

(05:36):
things at the wall whoa and screaming, shaking.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
The entire house with the baby in the room.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
With the baby next door, oh.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
Next door, The whole house is shaw.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
So I flew into the home as I was outside
talking with dear husband about going no contact but speak
of the devil. Hold. Yeah, there she goes again, and
I ran right into the room my daughter was sleeping
in to protect her. When re entering, I had to
pass the whole party of family playing a game and
everyone stopped in the tracks. Everything fell apart at this moment.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
Oh no.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
My mother in law proceeded to scream and argue with
everyone in the house all My husband had to restrain her,
and as he did, my mother in law attacked him.
What My sister in law fled to dear husband's side,
and mother in law did the same to her as well.

(06:31):
Then it became less of an effort for de escalation
and became a family wide effort for evacuation.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Oh my gosh, this is crazy.

Speaker 4 (06:41):
This is fullwed Godzilla is breaking through the roof, stomp
and breaking things. She whips her tail around and is
knocking people over left and right. Oh my gosh, that
is terrible.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
So at this point, I'm kind of like, this seems
like a severe mental health crisis issue situation for sure.

Speaker 5 (07:02):
I mean, everyone's safety is up in the air right
now around the st Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
So, I'm eight months pregnant with Opie's I didn't even
realize that.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
God she was pregnant, dude, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Wow, with an eleven month old. So there were about
five different family members individually making sure I was safely
escorted out to the nearest hotel for the remainder of
our stay before our flight back home. My husband is
an active service member, and he had to reach out
to command because of the time of hotel arrival, we

(07:35):
were planning on catching the next flight out, so he
would have had to let them know about his premature return.
He obviously had to take creative liberties as to the
reasoning of his return because if he were to tell
the truth, his mother would have had to be charged.
Whoa which straight through jail to jail, Straight through jail. Oh,

(07:55):
I'm gonna go crazy, straight to jail. So we ended
up making the call to stay put at the hotel
into our flight a few days later. Our choice based
upon not wanting to further disrupt our baby's rhythm and
sense of safety and security during his time. My mother
in law sent a text message to the family group
chat that was three sentences long. I'm sorry, I eft up.

(08:16):
I have no excuses, Okay, I mean yes so, And
for some reason, reading that message enraged me. You attacked
my husband, you ruined my first Christmas as a mother,
and you have no excuses. During our flight home, I
told my husband there is no room for her in
our lives anymore. Yeah, yeah, I told him that being

(08:37):
put through that, the fear of domestic violence happening with
my child in the next room, the terror of fleeing
in the middle of the night, I cannot put our
daughter through that ever again. He finally came to agree. Finally, finally,
I will never speak to that woman ever again. I
am so sad for my husband, but I'm so glad

(08:57):
we're finally at this point for the justification for it
is all is there, and everyone, including dear husband, finally
sees it. We have an update.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Oh boy, but yeah, thoughts.

Speaker 5 (09:11):
Well, I'm glad that the husband has finally come around
because obviously, I mean, we've read so many stories where
it's like the in laws have all of these problems
and the husband or wife like who are actually related
to those people can't see them quite yet because they're
finded by you know, the love of their parents, which
makes sense. There has to be a breaking point, and
it seems like we've reached it, which is good.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
Yep, it's bittersweet, I'll say, it's not.

Speaker 5 (09:36):
It's good that we are at a breaking point, yeah,
and that she's doing these things, but it's good that
he's seeing it and that he knows that people's safety is.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
Involved, the safety of his child. Yes, wife, it is
whole family.

Speaker 5 (09:49):
Everyone had to evacuate like it was a tornado coming.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, Like that's that's it. Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
Update currently uh thirty nine we plus six days. Labor
is starting and stopping for the past week, and I'm
so over it at this point that bab is ready
to burst. So I got into my appointment today and
was told to expect a call from the coordinator. Coordinator
called as I was wolfing down some lunch, and of course,
without thinking I agreed to the first available induction slot.

(10:19):
I then asked if it's the absolute soonest we could
go in and get everything taken care of, and the
coordinator said that yes, that's the soonest available, hung up
the phone and went about my business until I look
at the calendar and see that the induction date is
actually the date of my mother in law's birthday. Oh no,
this lady is insane and I cannot imagine having to

(10:41):
live the rest of her life hearing how much her
and little one are just much closer because their birthday twinds.
If that even ever happens, pray for me. Uh edits
everyone suggesting to reschedule, Yes I will, but my obi's
office does in fact come to a close and has

(11:02):
been closed since well before I realized the date slash
issue described here. Also to remind everyone very gently, I
don't want the advice to reschedule, as per the flare
which asked for no advice, just solidarity update number two.
So over the past few months, I've been extremely supportive
of my husband's emotional journey. This woman has a history

(11:23):
his mom of these violent outbursts during family get togethers.
I genuinely cannot stand her, but through it all, my
husband maintained very low contact. That's just fine with me.
Not my monkey, not my circus. Very recently, on Mother's Day,
she reached out to my sister in law and husband
in a private chat to extend an apology and a

(11:44):
wish for reconciliation. My husband explained to her that it
was a very pointed decision to exclude me from that message,
seeing as how I was just as deserving of an apology.
He told her there's no reconciliation with just him, and
that since we are a married couple and due to
everything she put me through, she needs to reach out
to me. A week past with no response, I'm not

(12:05):
gonna lie. I was fuming, so I sent her a
message of my own, telling her exactly what I felt,
and this is the message below. Mother in law, I
am writing this because continuing to ignore the weight of
your actions is no longer an option. After everything that
had happened over Christmas, your outburst to your hostility, I
expected at least a sincere and direct apology, not just

(12:27):
to your son and sister in law, but to me
as well, Considering I was also there many opportunities to
reach out have come and gone, birthdays, the delivery of
your grandson, and especially after a husband suggested you should
reach out to me directly. You should have maybe reached
out to me directly. That was just me talking. You
made a pointed choice to ignore that entirely. That silence

(12:49):
speaks volumes, and I want you to know I heard
it loud and clear. Your pattern of behavior has deeply
affected our family. I do not forgive the way you
treated me. And until there's a true, prompted reckoning on
your part, not a performance, not a deflection, and not
a half apology, I won't be participating in any illusion
of reconciliation. This is not about punishment. This is about

(13:11):
protecting my peace in my family. I hope one day
you can reflect honestly and do better, but I won't
sacrifice our well being waiting for that to happen. And
oh boy did she respond. But first, oh boy, slow clap?
That was that was great? I love that. Yeah, I
love that.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah that was really good.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
So to honor my husband's wishes, I will not post
exactly what she said to me, but to give everyone
an idea, here's some of her points. I don't need
an apology because I am not a victim. Okay, I
should be grateful for the fact that she gave birth
to my husband, because due to her parenting, he turned
out to be the man he is today. She didn't

(13:53):
feel it necessary to respond with an apology because I
disliked how she reacted to her incredibly lazy apology in
the family group chat. I don't care about my family
because if I did, I would allow her access to
my children. Clearly hate your family. I am a deeply
inconsiderate person because I didn't ask her permission to marry
her son.

Speaker 5 (14:14):
How daring that's the traditional way the wife has to
ask the mother in law if she can be proposed to.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
I'm a deeply inconsiderate person because my husband chose to
notify the entire family in a single group chat about
the birth of our firstborn child instead of letting her
know first. Oh my goodness, I'm punishing her, and that
the punishment doesn't fit to the crime. I'm the reason
that my husband stays with me in a bedroom and

(14:41):
away from them when we go for a visit. I
front air bag fed in privacy for the time she's
referring to, and my husband likes to hang out with me,
Sue me. I'm a poor mother for sleeping in on
the days when they came to visits when I was
five weeks postpartum, especially abandoning my child under their care.
Woe is me? I am the reason her son doesn't

(15:04):
send photos of her grandchild to her. Oh, my god.
Since she is my mother in law, I need to
display respect and refrain from sending another threatening message to her.
My response to that all that whole thing was very short.
I told her that it's clear to me that there's
no opportunity for reconciliation at this time. Encourage her to
continue to look outside of her own perspective. It yawned

(15:26):
in her face, and that I am still otis sincere
apology give me. It grinds my gears having to be
the bigger person. I hate that phrase. It's so condescending
to someone nearly twice my senior. I've decided I'm no
longer going to react. My father in law scheduled a
call with my husband to have a discussion, and I
just know it's about what I had said to my

(15:47):
mother in law. Father in law has spoken about ten
words to my husband since this all went down on
Christmas and now only an hour after I sent my message,
does he want to call up my husband?

Speaker 2 (15:57):
Ugh?

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Advice wanted?

Speaker 3 (15:59):
Oh wow, so sometimes about to go down. We're not
even gonna be able to see it.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
We're we're just going to be completely in the dark.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
But Opie did say advice wanted at the end. Yeah,
quick quick closing thoughts here on that.

Speaker 5 (16:12):
Oh man, I mean, uh, the husband is going to
get a call an hour later than all of this.
Then her text was sent, Yeah, I mean the husband
I think needs the most advice here.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
But true, dude, I don't know I can.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
Stay the course of of just love. Contact can just
be like oh contact, hey dad? Yeah, so you're just
calling us to defend mom and mom has done all
these horrible things. So we're just not down with that.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yeah, you know what?

Speaker 5 (16:38):
Honestly, like, uh, I think, yeah, he just needs to
be honest. He's just like, Okay, listen, you're my parents.
I don't want you to have you know, no access
to your grandchildren. However, if you were going to act
this way, if she's going to act this way and
you were going to support her, that can't happen.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
You know.

Speaker 5 (16:56):
It's not that I don't want you around, it's that
you can't be around if you're doing this. So it's
your choice on whether you want to continue doing this
and continue supporting this, if you want to be around
my children.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
It's it's out of my hands.

Speaker 5 (17:09):
It's purely for my family's safety, and it's it's it's
not like a selfish choice that I'm making. This is
purely like survival pretty much. So it's it's on them.
It's on them.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
It's not that I don't want you around, that I
can't have you around. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, Boom, angie,
I'm freaking.

Speaker 5 (17:28):
Wise, saying my mother in law claims to be a
loving grandmother but refuses to make.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Any efforts make effort.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
My husband and I had our baby four months ago,
and she was born two months early, so she's only
been home for a little over two months. I have
a whole hoard of medical issues because I went through
two and a half years of chemo for leukemia, but
was able to get pregnant a year after my last chemo.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
Wow, that seems impressive. That doesn't happen for everyone. Yes,
but I got pre cl.

Speaker 5 (18:00):
Which landed me in the hospital for a week before
delivery and progressed to h elp. This kept me in
the hospital for a week after delivery. By the way,
this comes from the Prime of Ale Pixie Dust And
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay story time supread it. So, my
mom flew in six hours before I delivered, and I'm

(18:21):
so happy she did because she took care of me
with my husband through my cat, and she's so dialed
into my needs that she knows what I need before
I even know what I need. During my time in
the hospital, my in laws were all up in my
grill in space, and they were especially so after I
gave birth. And I mean my mother in law, father
in law, brother in law, and sister in law, the

(18:43):
whole family involved.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
That's a lot, a lot.

Speaker 5 (18:46):
I have no issues with my brother in law or
sister in law because they took care of me a
lot during chemo, and they are like my mom in
that they always seem to know what I need before
even I do. My sister in law is top tier
when it comes to bringing over snacks and beverages. I
seriously don't know how she always knows what kind of
food I like, but she just does.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
That's a good friend, right, We like that.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
We like that. That's a good thing.

Speaker 5 (19:09):
My brother in law is a doctor and helped so
much during my caragment and during my labor too. He
always brings food whenever he comes over, and he's always
wanting to hang out and help with baby and do
chores around the house. Now, my mother in law and
father in law are nice people, but it's a fake
nice like they are nice people, but they never go
out of their way to help anyone. It seriously ticks

(19:32):
off my husband because they've dropped the ball for him
and me so many times that he doesn't trust them
to come through for anything anymore.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
During their pregnancy, mother in.

Speaker 5 (19:40):
Law refer to our daughter as our baby as in
hers too, and my husband immediately called her out and said, no,
she's Opie and my baby and your grandbaby. I know
she's excited to be a grandma, but we had to
set some boundaries before she started referring to herself as
mom to our daughter, which was somewhat starting to show now.
Back to the hospital, my husband told them multiple times

(20:02):
that they needed to text before just showing up to
my room, and a few times my mother in law
and father in law showed up as I was pumping,
or right before I was about to shower, or right
as I.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
Was getting examined to deliver. Worst timing. Wow.

Speaker 5 (20:17):
He finally said that he would remove them from the
approved visitor list if they didn't text or call first.
My brother in law and sister in law always called
first right as I.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Was about to give birth.

Speaker 5 (20:28):
Oh no, staff and my husband had to punt them
out of the room so I didn't have to have
them in there.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (20:37):
They just know the worst timing for everything. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
When I'm like this on the delivery table, Yeah, I
don't want you in there.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
So sign gotta stay out, get out.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Gotta stay out, man, I'm delivering.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, you don't want to see that. I don't want
you to see that. Nope, you gotta get out of there.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yep.

Speaker 5 (20:59):
And right after I gave birth, my mother and father
in law followed the NICEU staff to see.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
The baby and they touched her, which we told them
not to do, so we were pissed.

Speaker 5 (21:12):
Now, during baby's time in hospital, they were willing to
drive thirty minutes every day to see the baby and
I see you, and we told staff that only my
husband and I can hold the baby until we're ready
for others. My mom stayed with us for almost three
weeks and helped us so much, cooking, cleaning, getting stuff
for me to make my recovery easier. She would even
wake up in the night too to get me water

(21:35):
and snacks while I pumped nice So after a week
of her being there, we agreed that she deserved to
be the first non parent person to hold the baby.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
We didn't tell mother in law because we felt that
she didn't really deserve or need to be in the
know about it.

Speaker 5 (21:48):
After another few weeks, we let mother in law and
father in law hold the baby while we were there,
and made sure to tell the staff and the in
laws that they could only hold the baby if one
of us was present. A couple of nurses slipped through
the twin it came to that info, and mother in
law got away with holding her when I wasn't there.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
My mother in law.

Speaker 5 (22:06):
Would literally call me every morning to tell me how
baby was, and a few times let it slip that
she got to hold her.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (22:12):
Mother in Law's updating the mom of the baby, how
her baby is doing, not what we want to hear. Nope,
when we said these boundaries already, that's correct.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
Again rule broken and we were ticked.

Speaker 5 (22:23):
Also, she didn't need to give me a play by
play because I was at the end. I see you
every day as well. This is like, it's not man
splaining anymore. This is mother in law splaining. That's this
is a news. We have to this must, this has
to be. We have man's plaining. It's been established.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
We need mother in law called Mill splain, Hills explaining.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
There we go, Mill explaining woo coined by me.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Good stuff.

Speaker 5 (22:52):
Anyway, on the day that baby girl came home, my
husband unfortunately couldn't be because he had a final exam
that day that he could not miss for a class
that started along before I got pregnant.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
I wasn't upset by it. I just wanted baby home.

Speaker 5 (23:08):
My mom had already returned home by that point because
she had to return to her work because she was
on a big project. So all of my in laws
said that they would be there with me.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Fine. Whatever.

Speaker 5 (23:19):
At our hospital, they have you stay overnight as impatient
with babies so staff can check on you throughout the
night to make sure that everything goes well. I got
to stay in the wing where I received chemo, so
it was kind of like a full circle where the
staff that saved me got to see me.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Be a mom. Oh my gosh, that's so special.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
That's beautiful. I frecking love that well.

Speaker 5 (23:40):
On the morning of discharge, my in laws are all
in the room with me and I'm fully packed up
and ready to go. My mother in law rushes into
the back seat of my car to make sure that
she's sitting next to baby. My sister in law is
in the front with me. My brother in law and
father in law are in separate cars following behind. We
get back to my house and my mother in law
keeps trying to take car seat until I stop her

(24:01):
and tell her to cool it until I can introduce
baby to the cats. We get inside. Cats are cool
and aloof, so I decide that the in laws can
hold the baby while I put stuff away. I spent
hours doing chores and tasks around the house, and not
once did mother in law or father in law offer
to help, just fawning over baby, which is good, but

(24:22):
only one out of time can hold her.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
So you could freaking help me.

Speaker 5 (24:26):
My brother in law and sister in law helps me
organize my milk from the NICU and caught me lunch. Also,
when I needed to feed her, she just kept telling
me that she can do Just give her the bottle.
I repeatedly told her that this is the thing I
like doing because I get to bond with the baby.
She kept refusing to hand her over until I snapped
and told her to give me my freaking baby now.

(24:47):
She finally handed her over, but I was ready to
punt her out. They stayed for almost ten hours that day.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Oh my goodness, that is that's nine hours, fifty nine
minutes and fifty nine seconds too long.

Speaker 3 (25:03):
Yes, yes, that is true. Oh my goodness. Oh, now
here's the gicker.

Speaker 5 (25:10):
Our house is just twenty five minutes from the hospital,
so they're commute from their home to ours is just
fifty five minutes forty five on the weekend, which to
some might be a lot, but it's really not for us,
considering that that's my commute to work. Several days a
week after that day, my brother in law and sister
in law have come to the house multiple days a
week to see baby and help around the house. My

(25:30):
mother in law and father in law nothing.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Nothing.

Speaker 5 (25:33):
We practically beg and they won't come over, just excuses,
and they can't use work as an excuse because they're retired.
Well after a few weeks, my own grandparents, who are
the same age as my in laws, come for a
couple of weeks to help, and they help a bunch, cooking, cleaning,
helping with the baby. I'm Hispanic, so the level of
love and care I feel is different, like we don't

(25:53):
expect the help, but.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
It would be weird if my family didn't help. During
the time my grandparents are here, my law's dog gets
sick and they love that dog.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
It's their baby, so everything is their baby. Everything is there,
everything is their baby, so much.

Speaker 5 (26:10):
So that the way they raise that dog raises eyebrows,
especially for my husband, because growing up they never raise
their dogs that way. That dog only goes for walks
in a stroller and has never been leash walked, and
uses the bathroom on puppy pads in the living room,
which was awful.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
During my chemo and pregnancy.

Speaker 5 (26:27):
What is even the point of going on a walk
with a dog if they're going to be in a stroller,
what's what good is it?

Speaker 3 (26:32):
So anyway to cheer them up.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
We decide to take baby and grandparents over to their house.

Speaker 3 (26:37):
We even go to pick up food.

Speaker 5 (26:38):
We decided to greatly inconvenience our lives and our newborn's
life to cheer them up. Fine, whatever visit goes well,
but we had to bring so much stuff to make
the visit work that we decided afterwards that we won't
be doing that again. And my mother in law made
some weird comments that weirded out my husband and me, like, oh,
father in law, we should have another.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
Baby, have another baby.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
What ma'am, you're.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
In your seventies.

Speaker 5 (27:04):
Calm down, girl, she is way past menopause. She cannot
have another baby, at least biologically. My goodness, but she
made comments like that the whole time. Now onto a
couple weeks later and my parents come to visit and
help for three weeks.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
Amazing.

Speaker 5 (27:22):
My parents are incredibly helpful. They help so much with
the baby in the house that I start to feel
human again instead of like a sleepless zombie.

Speaker 3 (27:29):
Now we're over.

Speaker 5 (27:29):
Ten weeks since baby has been home, and my mother
in law and father in law have seen the baby twice.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
Count them twice the day she came home and the
day that we brought her over.

Speaker 5 (27:39):
My family lives an ocean away and has been more
involved and helpful than my in laws, who lived thirty
five miles away. So I decided to text my mother
in law and brother in law privately to tell them
that I want to celebrate my husband's first Father's Day
at our house. I'll get food and we can hang out.
Brother in law is in residency and can't swing the
visit because of work, which is fair and valid. However,

(28:01):
my mother in law calls me to give me excuse
after excuse of why they can't do it at our house,
but tells me that we should bring the baby over
to theirs. I tell her we aren't going to do
that because it takes a lot of prep work to
bring baby over.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Mother in law says that we'll have lots of help.
Help where help woo?

Speaker 5 (28:22):
I'm the one that has the prep and pack up
baby and the car. At this point, we're going back
and forth because she's not getting it. So I tell
her that the baby needs me and I hang up.
Husband asks what that was about, and I tell him.
He looks so heartbroken because his mom won't make any
effort to help us or see us. She acts like
we live on another continent. She tries to call my

(28:45):
husband multiple times, but he ignores her calls because he
doesn't want to hear her excuses. So Father's Day comes
and my mother in law calls my husband to wish
him a happy one, and we find out that they
drove an hour to see his grandpa's grave, so they
can drive an hour to see her dad's grave.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
But not your granddaughter. Cool, my husband is living.

Speaker 5 (29:04):
His mom says that they're telling grandpa all about the
baby the tombstone. What, Yeah, that's like, that's like cheating
on someone and be like, babe, I was thinking about
you the whole time, Like, well, you could have just
been with me.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
You could have just.

Speaker 5 (29:23):
Talked about the baby with you, with the dad with
me yep, and been.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
With your freaking baby. Yeah, oh my goodness, what are
we doing?

Speaker 5 (29:31):
Husband says, you know you could actually come and see
him the baby. Mother in law says, well, give baby
a hug for me and know that the hug is
from all of us. Husband hangs up and vows to
not go out of our way for them ever again.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
How hot is your blood boiling right?

Speaker 1 (29:47):
It is the.

Speaker 5 (29:51):
He is ready, it's whistling, his face is red and
his smoke flowing out of his ears.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah. Yeah, I've just about had it with these. We
have had back to back to back crazy mother in laws,
from stealing toothbrushes of their sons and using them to
saying this is our baby multiple times. We're done. We're

(30:18):
done with the crazy mother in laws and we are
going to move on from their craziness and have a
good life. And that's really all I got. We are
protecting our peace, That's all I got to say. That's
all I got. It's disappointing, yeap.

Speaker 3 (30:38):
Obviously you want them around.

Speaker 5 (30:41):
But at the same time, if they can't understand that
you have a literal newborn and that makes it a
little difficult to bring a kid places into travel, they
can't understand that.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. Except I am mad.

Speaker 5 (30:53):
But I'm actually yeah, I can be both. Two things
can be true at once. But we have another little
bit to this story. Let's get on into it. I'm
so sad for my husband because his mom always raves
about how being a mom was her calling and how
much she loved it and will tell anyone who will
listen about how excited she is to be a grandma,
but makes zero effort to actually be a grandma. I'm

(31:17):
so grateful to my husband because he chooses me and
baby every time and always has our back against his parents.
I choose to marry you, you or my family, is
what he always tells me, and growing up, he spent
almost every day with his grandparents, so the way his
mom acts boggles his mind. We've tossed around the idea
to limit baby content to her no pictures, no updates,

(31:39):
in the hope that it drives her to make an
effort to see the baby, but after everything, we doubt
that will work.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get
back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads
from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (31:50):
I thought our first date went great until I discovered
her TikTok.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
What's up, folks? Today, We're gonna be ranking the top
ten worst dates I've ever been on.

Speaker 6 (32:00):
This is number one. I have known this woman twenty
eight female for a while since we are in the
same friend groups. She's a nice person, attractive, and honestly,
I've always enjoyed my talks with her. A few weeks ago,
I twenty six mail asked her out on a date.
I figured if she says no, it's fine, but she
actually agreed. By the way, this comes from Throwaway Consistent

(32:25):
twelve and if you want us to make your own stories,
go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So we
went on a date this past Saturday, and honestly, I
thought it was awesome. We went out to dinner, had drinks,
spent the rest of the night talking, and we even
took a walk on a walking bridge over the town's lake.
It's not a big one. I dropped her off and

(32:47):
was elated. I absolutely loved the night. However, that night,
when I was scrolling through my TikTok on my bed,
a post from her I didn't follow nor knew she
had a TikTok. It appeared on my for you page. Essentially,
she said in the post getting ready for a date,
I really don't want to go on rugh rough. That

(33:10):
was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on
my head. I was so freaking happy, and I just
found out she didn't even want to go on a
date with me.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
Well, hold on, Maybe she thought she didn't want to
go on it and then she had such a great time.

Speaker 6 (33:25):
Yeah, okay, So if you see that and then there's
a follow up video that's like it actually went.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Really, actually went.

Speaker 6 (33:30):
Really well, how mad are you still at the first one?

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Well?

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Like five five? Yeah, I think it goes down significantly.

Speaker 6 (33:38):
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she has to
want it, but please let me know. If that's the case,
we don't need to go out. We can forget. I
even asked her out, but doing this on the internet
it made me self conscious. I'm not sure if that's
the right word.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
Now.

Speaker 6 (33:56):
I'm unsure about what to do. Should I tell her
I saw this or just forget about it? Honestly, it
really hurt me, and I'm not really sure I want
to give this another try. I mean, she didn't want
to go out with me in the first place, right,
some top relevant comments naked Neef I'd comment on the
post and ask if the date went well.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Oh yeah, wait for real, and killer Savage says this
just because she didn't want to go doesn't mean she
didn't have a good time.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Process.

Speaker 6 (34:27):
I think all of us have been there where we
don't feel like socializing, but it turns out okay or fun.
Her not wanting to go may not be a judgment
on the OP at all. Could simply be that they
weren't in the mood for a date, which might actually
be a compliment to OP that she was still willing
to do it for OP. Anyhow, it's a low blow
to post it on social media. People have feelings she

(34:49):
didn't give a crap about OP finding out, especially if
they know each other from a friend group. Good human
beings don't proceed like that. I'd say, leave her be.
If she asks, why, then tell her you saw the video,
simple as that. Another user says, I just wouldn't ask
her for a second date and let it be. Don't
give her fuel for her TikTok. Just tell her you

(35:11):
didn't think you're good, you're a good fit. If she asks.
Another user says, I'd feel like a child dating somebody
who airs their whole personal life on effing TikTok of
all apps, yuck, OMG fight with the boyfriend. You'll never
guess what he said.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
I don't know. I don't I think that into it,
like I don't think I can bash on TikTok because
we're on TikTok. I think a lot of people nowadays
will use TikTok as kind of like a video diary. Yeah,
and there's a lot more openness about what we're people
are willing to share on public forums.

Speaker 6 (35:48):
So I have seen tiktoks of date reviews where then
there's a response from the other half saying like.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
That's not really how it went.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
Yeah, in which case it's like, be honest about what
you're posting, especially if there's any chance people can see it.

Speaker 6 (36:01):
Another user says, the thing for me would be this,
Who on earth would post that on TikTok and why?
The potential answers will tell you a lot. I would
never want to be with someone that would find that,
that would find that an appropriate thing to post, for
so many reasons. My interest in such a person would
disappear after seeing something like that, And I hope you

(36:22):
have the wherewithal to feel similarly. This woman is not
worth it, and at least you discovered that quickly distance yourself.
If you know what's good for you, no point in
causing any drama over it, And honestly, that might be
something she would enjoy. Another user says, as an introvert
with some social anxiety, I don't think I've ever wanted

(36:43):
to go on a first date. Even if I really
liked the guy and wanted to go to the location,
my mind would always convince me I was going to
be unhappy. Luckily, most of my first dates had been
fine or great, sprinkle in a few duds. As an
older woman, I don't understand this need to post everything
that goes on in your life or in your mind.
Sometimes it's nice to just let passing thoughts pass. But

(37:06):
I also understand younger people grew up immersed in social
media and this is normal to them. This person has
made it clear that she's going to post things publicly
that you may think should be private. That alone may
drive you to decline any future dates with her, and
if so, just let her know you saw her TikTok
and aren't comfortable with your dates being the subject of
her videos beforeward, she may post. Before warned, she may

(37:31):
post about it. If you choose to see her again,
I think it's worth having an honest conversation and set
your boundary around what you aren't comfortable with her posting.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
I completely agree with that whole comment. Yeah, I think that. Yeah,
I think that's a really good point of I mean,
that's what kind of what I was saying of. It's
different now. I think people are a lot more willing
to post everything about their lives and there's less boundaries.
But also that you're allowed to have that boundary of
not wanting her to talk to talk about it.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
And if she's going to continue to do that, then
maybe she just needs a finer person who's okay with that.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (38:04):
Another user says, I think context matters a lot. Was
she saying she didn't want to go out with you
or just wasn't in the mood to go out? Is
her content about social anxiety? I rarely want to actually
do things when I'm getting while I'm getting ready, it's
one hundred percent anxiety. But that does not mean I
don't want to spend time with the people I have
plans with, or she just really didn't want to go.

(38:27):
I don't know her, and I didn't see the video.
My only point is that phrase alone doesn't necessarily speak
to her feelings about you. We have an update yep, Dade.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (38:39):
Ten days later, ooh.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Did they go in? Another day?

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Did she post another TikTok?

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Yeah, she's like this guy just told me that he
was upset that I posted about him.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
Or she probably posted that she went on another date.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Yeah, she was like I want another date and I
wanted to go on this one.

Speaker 6 (38:55):
After last week's post, I read almost every comment, or
at least most of them. I'm thankful to all those
who commented and shared a bit of their own personal story.
Some people mentioned that anxiety is normal and feeling like
not going out is definitely common, suggesting that I shouldn't
look too much into it. While I agree with their
perspective and see no fault in not feeling like going out.

(39:17):
What bothered me the most in this situation was having
to post a TikTok for a significant audience. I'm a
private person by nature, and even my social media accounts
like Instagram have only a single post. I don't really
like to overtly share, nor do I want to be
with someone who does. Then she's just not that case.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Yeah, in that case, she's just not for you, And
I don't actually think it really matters what her intention was.

Speaker 6 (39:43):
It's completely fine to share whatever you want. I just
don't want to be a part of it, so I
decided not to contact her. I chose to pretend I
had never seen the post and let things be. I
understand a lot of people might think this isn't the
best choice, but I feel like it's the best course
for both of us.

Speaker 3 (40:00):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
I disagree only because one you guys are in similar
friend you have mutual friends.

Speaker 6 (40:10):
I feel like it's gonna come up eventually.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
I don't like ghosting people in any scenario. I think
you just you should have just said, hey, feeling friend vibes,
not feeling romantic connection, but you know, thanks for the date.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (40:24):
Last Thursday, a few friends who also happened to know
her invited me for drinks. We went to a bar,
and while we were eating and enjoying our drinks, a
mutual friend asked me how my date went. As our
circle was aware that we were going on a date,
I didn't want to say much, so I just replied, Oh,
it was good, but I don't think we clicked. This
friend followed it by saying we figured, which made me

(40:48):
feel rather uneasy. When I asked what he was talking about,
he hesitated, but eventually said that they had seen a
TikTok post from her about not wanting to go out.
At this point, I didn't really know what to say.
This situation is just incredibly messy for me, but there's
not much I can do about it. Still, I wasn't
going to mention it, nor did I try to look

(41:10):
up if there was an update, if there was any
update on her part. In fact, I deleted TikTok after
that incident. Dang, it just wasn't doing me any good. Nevertheless,
this past Saturday, she sent me a text. She mentioned
that she enjoyed our date and asked if I wanted
to go out again.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Dang, man can bring up the TikTok. You cannot bring
up the TikTok. You can be as honest as you want,
but say something. You gotta know, just say something, Come
on personally, oh ghost, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (41:41):
I understand that she clearly stated that she enjoyed our
time together. However, I don't want to be with someone
who exposes so much of their personal life. It's not
something that would be good for me. So I decided
to tell her the truth and sent a text explaining
that while I absolutely enjoyed our date, her company and
then I thought she was an amazing woman. Her post

(42:02):
from the night of our date came across my for
you page on TikTok, and it made me feel really
self conscious. While I understand that she enjoyed the date,
contrary to what she felt at the time of the post,
I didn't feel comfortable going out with someone who had
such a high level of exposure online. I wished her
the best and expressed hope that she finds someone whose

(42:23):
lifestyle aligns with hers. She has read the message and
left me on red. Ever since, I don't think she
will reply, and I don't think we'll have a lot
of social interactions going forward. I'm sorry if this wasn't
the update you guys were expecting, but yeah, sadly that's
what the situation became. Anyhow, wish everyone a good day.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
I think that's a perfectly fine situation. Yeah, I think
you didn't ghost her. I don't think I truth truthfully,
when you like project someone I don't really like, especially
our text, I really don't think that they have to respond.

Speaker 6 (42:54):
Yeah, at most could have been like a thanks for letting.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
You know I don't like really, because I've been on
I've been on both sides of this where I've rejected someone,
they don't respond and like someone's sad to that, and
I don't respond, and I think both. I think that's fine.
I think that you haven't been ghosted because it's been addressed,
and depending on what they said, I'm like, you don't
really need to respond to that at that point, you

(43:18):
can you didn't want to be in this relationship because
you weren't comfortable. Totally fine, she's gonna continue to have
this TikTok life. Totally fine, totally so good. I think
this is fine. I have a crush on a regular
customer and I want to ask him out.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
A little crush.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
So I female twenty four, work part time as a
waitress trying to pay off student loans, and I have
a huge crush on a guy who tends to come
in for breakfast or lunch a couple of times a
week on the day as I'm working. He's handsome, super sweet,
and I'm pretty sure he's single, but I'm not one
hundred percent sure. If I had to guess, i'd say
he's twenty five to twenty seven. I've gotten to know

(43:59):
him a little bit since we've sometimes talked. If I'm
not too busy, he said, he moved here a few
months ago. I'd love to ask him out, but I
have no idea how, and plus I get really nervous
around him. By the way, this comes from Throway Pink
Clever and if you want to spend your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay story Time, Separate It Show.

(44:21):
Whenever he comes in, my manager always makes sure I
get him, since she knows I have a big crush
on him. His bill is usually between eight dollars and
nine dollars, but he always pays with a twenty and
tells me to keep a shack. Ask him out, what's

(44:41):
your number? On a coffee cup that you're giving him?
Having been like a barista and I've been, I've been
on the receiving end of it, it's like worse when
like someone's asking you out and you don't like him, because.

Speaker 6 (44:53):
That's what I was initially. I was like, Oh, don't
ask someone out at their job. I'm not, but you're
not work.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
I totally ask him out, just put it on the
coffee cup. Do you think that might be a sign
he likes me?

Speaker 5 (45:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (45:05):
Yeah. My manager said she's seen him drive a really
expensive sports car. A couple of times, so the large
tip might not mean anything.

Speaker 6 (45:15):
No, I mean something.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
But she said she catches him looking at me quite
a bit and said he never comes in when I'm
not working or at he's got up, he's got on.
Considering I'm kind of a shy person. What's the best
way to ask him out without being extremely embarrassed or nervous?
My hands are sweating just thinking about it. And there
are some notable comments.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
Read it down a napkin get I think the best
way if you want to ask someone out who you
don't really know, give them your number and then they
can text you or not. Yeah, best way. Notable comments?
How are you enjoying city? Have you seen some landmark
or attraction? Oh? Man, you haven't. It's my favorite. I
need to take you give number. If boobies have taught

(45:54):
me anything, it is that you're supposed to slip in
your phone number with the check for extra points. You
could do it, schmekes, you walk away from the table
while looking impishly over your shoulder. Don't do that, Eh,
don't do that. That could go so wrong so quick.

Speaker 6 (46:07):
You're gonna bump into like super something.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
If you like a person who is working at a
place that you frequent and you want to ask him out,
Just leave him your number, don't put any pressure on it.
Leave him your number, say they thought you were cute
or like, appreciate whatever, blah blah blah.

Speaker 6 (46:26):
And then in a place that I frequent.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
And then leave because honestly, a guy's normal thought profcess
regarding waitresses. Are there just really nice for the tips?
You're definitely gonna have to make the move on this one. Also,
as a former waiter, him giving you a fifty percent
tip is a good sign that he likes you. Comments Biop.
He never waits for the bill since he comes in
all the time, he automatically knows how much it costs
and just leaves a twenty dollars on the table when

(46:49):
he's done. Then he waves goodbye to me when he leaves.
Somebody says, to be prepared for a letdown. This is
exactly what I'm afraid of. He's super sweet, so I
don't think he'd reject me in a bad way, but
you never know. One morning, I had a really grumpy
old man giving me a ton of crap for no reason,
and when I walked away, I saw him talking to

(47:09):
the old man. When I came back, the old man
was suddenly very nice to me. Girl, he's got a
crush on you. I don't know what he said to
the guy, but he'll obviously stuck up for me. Anyway.
That just kind of gives you an idea of what
type of guy he is. I appreciate your comment. I'll
try to be confident and if things don't work out,
I won't let it bring me down.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
I agree.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
I the best way to be with it just to
be chill. I honestly, I think some people are like,
never ask a person out who is working. Yeah, not
my personal opinion, but I think just be respectful either way.
If you're the worker.

Speaker 6 (47:47):
Yeah, I think that there's definitely certain situations where you
shouldish and you have to like really be in tune
with the fact that it seems like you can.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
But yeah, but I.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
Think even if if you're on short just leave an yeah,
leave it at that, head out. It's just be respectful.
We were talking about a retail store in our town
and I told him I never go there. He asked why,
and I told him my ex worked there. I tried
to make it really obvious that I was single, but
you know how guys are with hints.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
Lol.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Yeah, good advice.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
I thought about looking him up on Facebook, but I
didn't want to come across as a creeper. I think
I'm going to try and talk to him this week.
I actually have this Friday off, and he comes in
every Friday morning at the same exact time to eat breakfast.
It would be super easy to just show up for
breakfast at the same time and sit in or near
the spot he always sits.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Haha.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
I literally have nothing planned on Fridays, so this could work.
My manager keeps bugging me and asking me when I'm
going to make a move. I'll have to fill her
in tomorrow and let her know my possible plan. The
manager's cool with it, and her family owns the restaurant,
so I'm good and I plan on talking to him
while I'm off the clock. And there is an update
six days later, so I think that it.

Speaker 6 (48:59):
Will have the week happened.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
That's the week it's gonna happy. Guys, We're about to
do it and.

Speaker 6 (49:04):
It went great and he likes you back. That's my
friction back.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
I already know it.

Speaker 3 (49:09):
Updates six days later, I have good news Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
As I mentioned in my original post, I normally work
Friday mornings and he comes in for breakfast at the
same time every Friday.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Well, I had.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
The day off and decided to show up for breakfast
at the same time as am. It worked out perfectly. Yeah.
I sat down in the area where he always sits
and waited. About ten minutes later, he walked in the door,
saw me sitting down ordering breakfacts breakfast, came up to
me and looked a little puzzle because I wasn't wearing
my uniform. He asked if I had the day off,

(49:45):
and I said yes. He said that sucks. You're my
favorite waitress.

Speaker 6 (49:52):
He said, you can just suit me and see day.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
I also did my hair and put on some few
clothes that morning, and he noticed because he coughlimented me
and said I looked really fretty. I could feel my
face getting hot. Me too, girl, Oh my goodness, Oh
my goodness. If anyone said this to.

Speaker 6 (50:12):
Me and then they sat next to you and laid
their head on your shoulder, No, that.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Would never happen anyway. Next thing I know, he asked
if he could sit at my table with it.

Speaker 6 (50:24):
Aha.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
I was so nervous guys never give me butterflies, but
he gives them to me all the time. But I
acted totally normal. I tried not to be a door hah.
Normally I'm very shy around him, but he made me
feel comfortable and was super easy to talk to. We
sat and talked for a while before our breakfast came.
It was so much fun. My manager was the one

(50:47):
waiting on us, which she never does, but she's been
encouraging me to make a move on him for quite
a while. She was so happy for me, and I
know exactly she's coming up to be opening, like she's
wondering how you guys get you in here? Anyway I feel.
I felt like he was giving me signals the entire time,
which made me a lot more confident. So I finally

(51:09):
worked up the court courage and asked if he'd like
to hang out sometime, and he agreed.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Yeah, I did, because he's got a russ.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
We swapped numbers and he's been texting and flirting with
me a few times a day ever since he's got
a Corrussian.

Speaker 6 (51:23):
You.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Since we've been texting, I've learned that we both enjoy hiking,
so I suggested that we go hiking and check out
an old lighthouse cool which isn't too far from where
we live. Just moved here, so he's never seen it before.
We live on the Great Lakes, northern Michigan, so that's
what we're planning on doing this week. When we were
texting last night, he mentioned that he'd like to go

(51:46):
to this fall festival which is coming up in a
couple of weeks, and wanted to know if I'd go
with him. So I playfully said, are you asking me
out on a date? He he, and he said yes,
will you please go with me? Up day two, three
months later. It's been a couple of months since my
last posts, so I think you all deserve how todays.

(52:11):
First of all, thank you read it. I sincerely mean
that I was just a shy girl with a crush
on a handsome stranger and to think that he's not
my booby just nuts. Two months ago. I left off
by mentioning that I was going to take him on
a date and show him around the area a little

(52:32):
bit since he just moved here. I talked about how
we both love hiking, so I planned to take him
to this lighthole house, which is only a short drive
from where we live. I was afraid it was gonna rain,
but it turned out to be the perfect day. We
backed a little picnic and spent an afternoon hiking. I
thought it was so romantic. We had a great time.
Over the next couple of weeks, we continued to see

(52:53):
each other and go on fun dates. I wanted to
take things to the next levels so bad, but I
wanted to make sure he felt the same way about me.
After a couple of weeks of dating, we were hanging
out of his place one night, cuddling and watching a movie,
and that's when he finally asked me to be exclusive.
I love that, you said a couple of weeks finally, Like,

(53:14):
it's been a couple of weeks, but I.

Speaker 6 (53:16):
Love It a really long time to become someone.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
Yeah, sometimes people take four months. Uh, it was the
best night. So we've been in an exclusive relationship for
a couple of months now, but I feel like I've
known him forever. We just click. He has a huge
family and they had Thanksgiving last weekend, which I was
invited tip. I'm a shy person, so I was a
little nervous, but they made me feel so welcome. His

(53:42):
mother's a total sweetheart, and his dad is hilarious. When
we were leaving, I gave his parents hugs, and his
mom says to me, you know, he talks about you
all the time. He's like madly alone with you. My
boy friend was so embarrassed. I've never seen him get
so red. I invited him to my family's Thanksgiving as well.

(54:06):
My family loved him, which was a huge relief because
my dad hasn't liked any of my past boyfriends. But
he immediately took a liking to him and had to
show him around his shop because they're both into cars.

Speaker 3 (54:16):
I love this.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
It was so nice to finally bring a guy home
that dad approves off. And of course my mom and
aunts thought he was hunk Ella to talk about awkward anyway,
I just figured i'd let you know about the date
and that we're finally a couple. Thanks for all your
help a couple of months ago when I wanted to
ask him out. You guys really encouraged me, so thank you,
And folks, he got more.

Speaker 6 (54:39):
So we got more, right, right, No, there's more, there's more.
They're engaged. There's the lighthouse there.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Sorry, there is another update.

Speaker 6 (54:44):
There is you guys can't.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
It's not You're not gonna see it, but it is there.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
It's there.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Five years later, we're engaged, yes each other and the
and the end.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
Yeah, HET's Johnny Old here. We're gonna get back to
the stories. But here's a quick three minute break of
ass form more sponsors.

Speaker 6 (55:04):
My girlfriend started acting cold after she went on a
girl's trip.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Well warm her up.

Speaker 6 (55:10):
So I, twenty five male, have been with my girlfriend,
twenty two female for about two years. We've been living
together for a few months and things have mostly been
really good. Yeah, little arguments here and there, but nothing major.
By the way, this comes from North Winter Fox and
if you want us to make your own stories, go
to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. Whoo, So, last weekend,

(55:32):
she went on a trip with her college friends to
this lake house, one of their family's owns. It was
just the girls, kind of a last summer thing before
a couple of them move out of state. I was
totally fine with it, told her to go have fun,
no issues there, But when she got back, something fell off.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
Immediately.

Speaker 6 (55:53):
She walked in, barely looked at me, gave me a
quick hug, and then went straight to the bedroom to unpack.
She didn't even say she missed me or anything. We
usually text a bunch when we're apart, but she was
distant the whole trip too, shorter responses, slower replies. Since
she's been back, she's been weirdly quiet, not mad, just distant.

(56:17):
She's been zoning out, not really laughing at stuff like
she usually does, and just kind of flat when we talk.
I asked her how the trip was, and she literally
said it was all right and changed the topic. No stories,
no funny moments, no picks, nothing, which is super unlike her.
She normally comes back from any outing with like ten

(56:40):
stories and a ton of photos. The other thing is
she's been journaling a lot since she came back. Not bad,
just new. She's always been into mindfulness and stuff, but
this felt different. I asked if everything was okay, and
she just said she's tired and processing a lot. I
tried pressing gently, and she told me I was being

(57:03):
overly clingy and that she needs space. I've never been
called clinging before, so that's stung. I tried asking her
friends if something happened, but they brushed it off and
told me not to worry.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
No I don't like that.

Speaker 3 (57:17):
I would be like, no, I am worried.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
I'm very worried. Please tell me if anything happened.

Speaker 6 (57:22):
So now I'm sitting here wondering what happened on that
trip that made her come back a totally different person.
She's not mad at me, but it feels like she
left as one version of herself and came back as another.
And she won't let me in at all. Am I overreacting?
And we have an update?

Speaker 2 (57:41):
Should we? I don't think you're overreacting. I think if
she's completely different, then yeah, press into it.

Speaker 6 (57:46):
I think you would definitely know, like if something is off,
something's off.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
I do appreciate that he has not jumped to cheating though.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
I think he's just.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Like I'm worried for yeah, and maybe she is cheating,
Like I don't want to say, like, there's no way
that she could like but I liked but that her
safeties first, which I think is important.

Speaker 6 (58:05):
Update. It wasn't really a planned discussion, just kind of happened.
I had asked one of her friends earlier if something
was going on. She didn't really open up, but told
me it wouldn't be her place to say. I thought
I wouldn't get anything out of her, so I said
effet and decided I tried talking to my girlfriend. Later,
she came home from work, acting off again the usual,

(58:28):
barely said anything, didn't eat the dinner I had prepared,
almost immediately went for a long walk outside, then straight
to the shower, where she's spent forever. Later, she just
stayed in our bedroom, laying around and not really engaging
with me.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
I would be super worried about her.

Speaker 6 (58:46):
Yeah, I went in after a while to ask about
her day.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Gently.

Speaker 6 (58:50):
I wasn't pressing or nagging, just calmly asked if she
could please just talk to me, because I care about
her and how she feels. I told her I wasn't
trying to fight or blame her. I just wanted to
understand what's going on. Since we always share everything, it's
unfair to keep me in the dark, and I'd support
her either way. Whatever it was, She didn't say much,

(59:12):
just kept mumbling about not knowing what to say, wasn't
really feeling it, she was tired, et cetera. So I
stepped back, spent some time on my own, and went
for a walk. Eventually, later that day she started opening
up a little. I guess she had enough time to
reflect and gather her thoughts. I'm not gonna put every
single word she said here in quotations because it feels

(59:33):
personal and I'm still trying to process it myself, but basically, yeah,
something happened on the trip with her and the girls.
She didn't say exactly what she did, but made it
really clear that it went way past what would be
okay in a relationship like way past. There were plans
for drinking during the trip. We both drink, and it's

(59:55):
never been a problem. She's never been a heavy drinker
and has always stayed with in reasonable limits. She said
what happened wasn't planned and that it just kind of did,
and that she wasn't herself, which honestly just made me
feel a not in my stomach, like she was preparing
me for something really bad. So I encouraged her to

(01:00:17):
just say it. That she'd already said enough for me
to not back down. Now I deserved to know. She said,
the trip went really the trip went well. Regarding the
original plan. They drank, went to the sauna by the lake,
swam played games, hung around. Normal doesn't sound awful, right, Okay,
sounds like a normal weekend trip with friends.

Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
Sounds like it.

Speaker 6 (01:00:39):
Later that night, they'd been drinking, more partying, listening to music,
enjoying themselves. Some were drinking and hanging out in the
hot tub, while others hung around inside the cabin, playing
board games and talking. My girlfriend talks in circles about
this and tries proving how it was a good trip
and that they all enjoyed it. Eventually, though, she gets
to the point and tells me why she's been down.

(01:01:02):
Later in the evening, someone suggested a drinking game. They
played bottlespin with a twist of drinking or doing dares.
A couple of the girls were pushing it, encouraging it.
She admitted she went along with it and wanted to play,
but the way she said it, she looked ashamed. The
dares were innocent at first, celebrity crushes, secret silly stuff,

(01:01:27):
but they got out of hand as more drinks were consumed.
Some girls dared others to kiss each other, play mary
f kill, pour drinks into each other's mouths, obviously something
that could escalate quickly. My girlfriend says she felt it
was fun in the moment and didn't feel she did
anything wrong, that it was all consensual and normal for
girls when tipsy. She says she doesn't remember everything well

(01:01:51):
due to her hangover the next day, and isn't even
sure what she did. She felt bad because she obviously
doesn't like girls that way and normally doesn't do these
kinds of things. She never explicitly says what she participated in,
but talks like she's guilty. There was one girl there,
let's call her Ellie. I've met her before. My girlfriend said.

(01:02:14):
Ellie hadn't participated and left the cabin when things started happening,
mentioning she wasn't feeling well. They talked later that night outside,
but nothing happened between them. My girlfriend said she hasn't
talked to her or the girls much after the trip.
I didn't yell at her or get angry, just sat there.
I didn't know how to respond. She kept saying she

(01:02:36):
didn't know why she shut down and has been feeling
horrible since that. She didn't know how to tell me
and needed time to word her thoughts. We've been distant
with each other after the talk. There's this heaviness between
us since she got back. Now I know why I
told her I needed space and went for a walk.
When I came back, I just sat in the living room,

(01:02:57):
not really looking at her. I don't see life without her,
but I don't know if I can look at her
the same way again, not just because of what she
maybe did, but because she came home and shut me out.
Made me feel like I was crazy for noticing something
was wrong. We have some edits, but like, besides the kissing,
when you're like that's obviously like, yeah, she like kissed people,

(01:03:19):
while like that's not cool, the rest of it really wasn't.
The kissing is ch dah right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
I think that he's upset because she's unwilling to tell him,
like he's had to really drag it out of her,
and she's still hiding stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
That's fair.

Speaker 6 (01:03:32):
Edit one I phoned her friend demanding answers since I
couldn't get them from my girlfriend. She confirmed there were
more people joining them over the weekend than than just
their initial friend group and told me to talk to
my girlfriend if I was so concerned. I was emotional
and raised my voice since I'm trying to get a
clear answer. She and Ellie are the only ones I

(01:03:55):
can reach. So there were more people that came in Tooeah.
I don't trust this edit too. I'll be making an
update later. Everything's overwhelming and I need to sort things out.
And we have that update.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Oh boy, let's get into it.

Speaker 6 (01:04:11):
I'll be staying somewhere else for a couple more days
before starting to make preparations for splitting off.

Speaker 3 (01:04:17):
Oh wow.

Speaker 6 (01:04:18):
I finally had a proper conversation with Ellie. It wasn't quick.
We talked all evening. She didn't seem to want to
at first, but eventually she opened up. She was the
only one who wasn't drinking or participating, and I respect
her for being straight with me. She told me this.
The group was drinking heavily, and at one point some

(01:04:38):
of the girls invited a few guys over Heardy invited
a few guys over who were staying nearby, guys I
had no idea would be there. She's not sure if
this was the plan all along, or if it was
the girl's idea in the moment. She didn't know about
it beforehand. The drinking game started getting more were intense

(01:05:00):
with the guys involvedkes According to her, my girlfriend ended
up making out with two different people. One of the girls,
the same girl who told me not to worry about
it and wouldn't give answers when I contacted her originally.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
She said that, yeah, said don't worry about it.

Speaker 6 (01:05:16):
And one of the guys there was a lot of
touching that wasn't just playful. As far as Ellie knows,
she didn't if anyone thanks, She says, she left and
doesn't know what happened afterwards. But it was far past
anything I'd ever be okay with, and definitely past anything
we ever agreed was acceptable in our relationship. What hit

(01:05:38):
me the hardest was how, according to Ellie, my girlfriend
wasn't even that wasted at that point. Tipsy, sure, but
not blacked out or out of control. She'd been laughing,
very involved and didn't seem pressured. She wasn't out of
it like she tried to make it sound. Ellie left
because she was uncomfortable, and when she returned later, my

(01:06:00):
girlfriend was still in full party mode. Talking was all
slurred and she was a mess.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
You have confirmation she cheated on you twice.

Speaker 6 (01:06:07):
Now, Yeah, and I mean he's getting out, h.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
I mean he was already getting out when Yeah, I
still wanted to get out when she told me kiss
a girl or she kissed a girl.

Speaker 6 (01:06:17):
Yeah, I talked with my girlfriend, well mine now ex
over the phone, but all I got was mumbles or
silent treatment. I flat out said I know what she
did and that she could at least admit it to
me before I break it off. Asked if I meant
anything to her or if all of our time together
has been fake. Asked about how long she had problems

(01:06:38):
with her drinking, since I've always thought of her as
mature and smart woman. She was sobbing and told me
she could help me understand if I came home and
she could make up for all of it, and even
if she did do it, she still loved me. So
I'm done. I can't stay in something where I'm lied to,
gas lit and made to feel like I'm overreacting for
noticing something is off. She came home and shut down.

(01:07:01):
Instead of being honest, she let me stay confused, even
when I was trying to comfort her, when she should
have been honest the second she walked through the door. Hell,
she should have admitted it as soon as it happened,
not that it would have made what she did right

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I gave my mother-in-law MULTIPLE chances… but I finally reached my breaking point! - r/JUSTNOMIL | Reddit Stories | EP2301