I just found out my fiancé’s been having an affair…and my family knew! - r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP1976 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I just found out my fiance's been having an affair
and my family knew that. Family sucks.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah, the secrets, what's.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Up with that? I, twenty two female needs some serious
advice on how to navigate any of this. I found
out a week ago that basically my entire family has
been helping my fiance male twenty three hide his affair
with my best friend twenty three female.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
No, everyone for her whole life is just scheming against her.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is awful.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
I created this account because I honestly have no one
else to tell this too, honestly, so my brain figured
internet strangers would be best. None of my family and
friends have read it. Thank the stars for extra emotional context.
Me and my fiance have been together since eighth grade,
on and off until twenty twenty. By the way, this
comes from Strawberry Cheese two three seven on the r

(00:51):
slash Oakay story Time subrit it.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
So.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
I do apologize if this gets long, but it's so
much to unpack and I just want to refresh myself
with everything I have, as well as figure out the
best way to confront my family, best friend, and fiance
with at least some dignity. Here are names and ages
for context for everyone involved. We have Richard half brother
twenty six, Maria half sister twenty seven, Angie my mom, Peach,

(01:19):
best friend soon to be ex best friend, Alex, my fiance.
So a week ago, Alex was taking a shower and
had left his phone on our bed. Me and my
fiance have an open phone policy, seeing as we both
struggled with getting cheated on in past relationships. Go figure
seeing my situation, I was packing my suitcase for a

(01:39):
family trip that's happening after my rehearsal dinner tomorrow, and
I heard his phone keep going off. He yelled from
our shower if I could mute his phone. I went
to get his phone and saw that it was Peach,
the best friend, calling him. I was curious at first,
but seeing as she's part of my bridal party, I
didn't find it too suspicious. I muted the phone and
soon messaged Peach for my own phone. Here is the

(02:02):
paraphrase of our conversation. Me, Hey, Peach, my fiance is
in the shower right now. What did you need, Peach?

Speaker 4 (02:08):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Nothing, Loel just wanted to confirm within the flowers for
your bouquet aisle me. That's weird. I didn't change my
mind on Eddie flowers or anything. The floors was contacted
last month and everything was paid for already by Tony.
Tony's my mom's husband, Peach. Are you sure I remember
him telling me you changed your mind? She's being suspicious.

(02:30):
After that, it was the usual wedding talk after that point.
In hindsight, I should have found it very weird that
she would call him about six times to confirm a
flower choice when she simply could have either texted me
or Alex. When Alex got out of the shower, I
told him Peach tried calling him about my flower choices.
I asked him what made him think I changed my
mind on the flowers for the wedding. He paused for

(02:51):
a bit. I now know he was basically stalling and
doing the oh I'm thinking face when I asked. He
then said that he thought I had mentioned it in
passing during a dinner. I told him that I didn't
recall that he's doing so badly. He then just shrugged
and grabbed his phone and went back in the bathroom.
I hate to be one of those people, but for once,

(03:12):
my gut actually sunk. I got this really paranoid feeling,
and I couldn't shake it. I tried to convince myself
that it was just my old cheating trauma trying to
creep back. Yet I just couldn't let this go. Me
and Alex had dinner, and I pushed through all the
way until it was time to go to bed. I
pretended to fall asleep first. Me and Alex usually cuddle

(03:34):
to fall asleep. When I knew he was in a
deep enough sleep, I went to check his phone again.
I checked his Instagram, Snapchat, and messages, and I couldn't
find anything. I then went to his Facebook Messenger. He
has Messenger to communicate with his family overseas. I only
saw his main family, and most of the messages were
about getting plane tickets to come to the wedding. We
were supposed to get married in December with a Winter

(03:56):
Wonderland themed wedding. That would have been really nice if
you had it. However, with my previous relationships. I checked
his archives on Messenger. He didn't delete his archives.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Come on, rookie, move, come on. This is when we're
saying cheat better typical.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
That's when the horrific truth came to light. There was
a group chat with Peach the best friend, Alex the fiance,
Richard the step brother, Angie the mom, and Maria the
step sister. The group chat was established a year ago
where basically Alex and Peach confessed to having an affair

(04:36):
to my family and why would they tell the family?
They were like, guys, we need to.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
Tell you, not our best friend or partner, not.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
The person that it concerns. Just get in. We're trying
to work out scheduling here.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, can you send your Google calendar for the cheating?

Speaker 1 (04:51):
This isn't working. I think we need more people involved.
My mom did shame them at first, yet she later
asked Alex did he truly love Peach? What? Because you
can't help who you love, That's what she said.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
I mean to be fair, I feel that, like all
cheating is wrong, but if you're in love with someone,
that's very different than like you're just like getting your
gratification taken care.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Of, for sure. But like for the mom to be.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Like like no, no, but like, are there feelings?

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Come on? Tell me, okay, tell me everything.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
She's just like, that's shame on you. My daughter's gonna
be heartbroken.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
But if it's a good story, how.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Did you be did you kids? Yeah? Really great, mom,
that was super helpful. He said he was absolutely sure,
and that he also loved me too.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
No wrong, Wait, he said he loved Peach. So he
said he.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Loved Peach, and then he said, but I also love Opee.
Then Maria and Richard, the step siblings, offered that he
being Alex, bring up to me an open relationship. Literally,
this is all collusion. This is a cover up. Alex
goes up to her and he's like, hey, how'd you
feel about an open relationship. I don't have anyone specific
in mind, but maybe your best friend, maybe someone we

(06:08):
both know and we're both like really close to and
we both love.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
If there was like a fruit name involved, that that
would be cool.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
That would be fine.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
No big either, like a mango, banana, maybe peach. I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
They both are in open relationships and married and apparently
it's working for them and whatever La La land they
live in. At this point, me and him were already engaged.
Alex mentioned to them that it seemed too far deep
to try to bring up. He's like, no, that won't work,
Let's just keep cheating.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
That's fine, come on, We'll just do it in private
secrecies even you know, even more taboo.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Come on, Angie, my mom, even though at this point
I hate to even call her. That said that they
would cover for Alex and Peach until he felt strong
enough to bring an open relationship up to me, not
even like strong enough to reveal that he cheated on.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Her, Like what And are they going to marry before
this happen? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Like, yeah, just marry and then that you have her
locked in then now you could suggest it and she can't.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yeah, this family's awful. I would go no contact with
his family. Kimberly finds this. How is it that Opie's
family new and hasn't even canceled the wedding much less
any deposits just chucking like thirty k out the window.
I think they're trying to save their money by not
telling Opie like they want the wedding to happen.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
Seems like they're like fine with it and want to
facilitate a continuation of it in the form of an
open relationship.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Exactly As I was reading, all I could think was,
how in the actual f could my family betray me
like that? How could Peach betray me like that? We've
been friends since kindergarten and we even grew up with Alex.
How could she process in her mind to f my
fiance and say that she loves him too. All of
this in this disgusting group chat brolics to out the

(07:50):
nerve to say he loves me as well. For him
to know firsthand what it's like to be betrayed like this,
I honestly want to vomit. However, I was just taking
screens after screenshot. The more I read down I found
out that Peach took my spot on our previous family track.
I think they're just trying to replace O Pete. They're like, okay,
al do you love Peach.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
He's like, yeah, all right, cool, Like we already booked
the flight ticket, we booked the cruise.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
She's coming Mary, Peach perfect, everyone's happy. I got a
really bad stomach bug a while ago that caused me
not to go. I can't even begin to imagine what
they did on the trip. And the fact that my
mother was okay with all of this, I think is
what hurts the most. The fact that she's known for
a whole year that my fiance was cheating on me.

(08:37):
That's taking the longest to sit in I feel. By
the way, you can join us live on YouTube every
weekday at three pm PST, just to have her profile.
There is more in the group chat, but these were
the major points I've known for a whole week. It's
been eating at me inside and I want to explode
and cuss them all out. I want to ruin their
lives the way they ruin me. It all hurts so
effing much, and I just want advice on how to

(09:00):
confront them. How do I even begin? What do I
even say? The anger I feel is so intense that
I feel like if I just let it all out,
I would look insane. Please read it, anything will help.
I'm planning on confronting them tomorrow at our rehearsal dinner.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
Why She's like, I don't want to like make a
big deal out of it, but rehearsal dinner, everyone's around.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
I was thinking, like when the priest says, does anyone object,
I'm gonna object, I'm gonna object. I step out at
the altar and I say I don't want to marry him,
but Peach does, and then we do a little spot.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
Then Peach does, like the whole rip off closed is
a wedding dress under it, and then she takes your spot.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
Yeah, and then everyone lives happily ever after. And oh,
he goes no contact with all of her family. I
would never talk to my family again. Okay, update to
that story. I sent the screenshots of that text conversation
that Ope found out that they were cheating to Alex's
parents and explain the whole deal to them. I was
honestly expecting them to ignore it or not believe me. However,

(10:00):
they called rather quickly. They asked me if I had
any hard proof of them cheating besides their confession. I
confided them in them that I didn't. What do you mean,
you don't need a hard proof? They have confession.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Nobody's just going to confess.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
Yeah. They asked for more screenshots, and I just basically
sent them a good chunk of the screenshots. His mother
made me feel so awful for sending them. She was
sobbing and apologizing for her son. She soon became inconsolable.
His father took the phone and asked, was there anything
his son could do to make it up to me
this early morning? I was offended. He asked that, yet

(10:35):
I saw it from his perfective. Later, I asked him
if he could be frank, and he agreed. I told
him that unless his son could shrivel up and disappear,
oh damn, then there wasn't anything really he could say.
His father said he understood. I asked him if they
could keep this to themselves until I brought it up
to Alex. They said they could, and we ended that call.

(10:57):
For a while, I thought omiting from stress was rare,
but it finally happened. Alex heard me. I guess me vomiting,
not the phone call. I stepped outside to have it
because he woke up and tried to rub my back.
Oh if he still hasn't told the fiance that she knows.

Speaker 5 (11:14):
Imagine rubbing your SSO's back for something that you caused.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
Wow, this is horrible.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
This is around seven am in the morning. Alex had
concern in his voice and was asking if I was okay.
For once, I actually saw nothing but read yet I
kept the composure. I have no idea why, but I
guess that will be my superpower I'll hold on to.
I ignored him and just went back to sleep. I
woke back up at eight am to start getting ready

(11:41):
for the rehearsal dinner.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
Wait, are they a body of Mary's.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yes, yeah, so far they don't know that she knows
about the affair.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
Wow, that's where we're at.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Alex told me that he had to get something done
before heading to the restaurant. I told him that was
fine and that i'd see him later. Before he left,
he said he loved me and this was one of
the day he was excited for him. I said me too,
trying not to have much rage behind it. Once he left,
I gathered all the screenshots for some people that don't know.
You can schedule text messages to be sent out at

(12:11):
a certain time. That is a new update. I decided
to do this to send it to everyone, Peach's family,
our friend groups, his family as well as mine, and
Peach is the best friend that the fiance che'd with.
I sent it to go out at one twenty five pm.
This would be the halfway point of the dinner and
people would be dropping off gifts early for us and
et cetera. I gathered the black hole of stress forming

(12:33):
in me and headed to the restaurant. When it was time,
my mother and her husband were already there. My mother
hugged me and all I could do was stand there.
The feeler hands on me almost felt like she was
personally violating my spirit.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
So her own her own mother.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Knew and basically gave the go ahead for her fiance
to continue cheating on.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Her get an open marriage.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
So basically the mom said, you guys should propose like
an open marriage with op So.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
There was a separate chat without her in it.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
There is a separate chat without Opie where Alex the
fiance and Peach the best friend told Opie's parents that
they were cheating, and Opie's parents said, like got mad
at them, and then said you can continue to do
so and we'll cover for you until you propose an
open marriage. So never said you have to tell her
the truth, just said propose an open marriage. I did

(13:23):
a quick tap hug so she wouldn't get suspicious, and
we headed inside. Guests started flowing in and everyone was
surprisingly on time besides my grandparents, but they move slow,
so I don't blame them. Once everyone was gathered, Alex
went on this whole spiel of how he was happy
everyone could come and that he was excited for his
family for the next dinner was supposed to be November twentieth,

(13:46):
he mentioned how I was the love of his life
and how he was so happy our families would mingle
and we could be one. I wanted to ask him,
how dare he say that crap? But nothing but fake
smiles and nods from me. Peach was basically looking like
a clueless dog and smiling right along and clapping for us.
To see this happen in real life is truly mind boggling.

(14:08):
The lengths people would go to out their cake and
eat it too crazy. I could barely eat as the
stress was getting to me so badly. At the time
I set for the messages, People's phones started buzzing, and
Alex and Peach's phones were blowing up. I would like
to admit that for once, a genuine smile crept on
my face.

Speaker 5 (14:26):
Wow, this is like some Game of Throne stuff here.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
Yeah, it was why watching an entire kingdom crumble and fall,
ophious masterminded all of this. The horrified faces of Peach
and Alex when they looked at me was golden. It's
the one highlight I will hold on to from this
emotional day. My aunt went ballistic. She started calling my
mom a cruel, heartless b word over and over. My

(14:49):
mother hurriedly checked her phone and saw I center the screenshots.
She started screaming and becoming I rate, saying I was
really trying to ruin her life again. As some you suggested,
she still apparently is upset about being caught having an
affair and being shun My grandparents' reaction hurt the most
because they started screaming at my mother. My grandmother was

(15:11):
trying with a few of our other guests to hold
my aunt back as she started screaming every expletive she could,
so at least the ants.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
On op side, this is movie.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
This is crazy. My grandfather was screaming at my mother
that he didn't raise an oar. At this point, everyone
is screaming and crying hysterics. My other bridesmaids were cussing
Peach out and calling her a slut. I hate to
admit again, I took joy in that.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Damn this is crazy.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
My grandfather went on to scream at fiance with some
things I can't say here because he was very explicit.
I just started laughing and sobbing. Ope, he's going crazy.
I had so many emotions that I genuinely think my
body didn't know what to do, so it did everything.
The tears just kept coming. My cousin escorted me outside
as fast as she could, with Alex Chase seeing us down.

(16:00):
He kept screaming my name and begging me to talk.
Like most of you suggested, he wanted to talk to
explain his side. I ignored him, and my cousin was
pushing him away from her car so she could get
in and drive off. She took me to my aunt's
house and told me to stay there and not answer
the door for anyone. I kind of felt like a
kid being left at home alone. Lol. I didn't and

(16:23):
just sat on the floor. That's when I just started bawling.
All the emotions I'd pent up for a whole week
just finally came up. After about another hour, my aunt
and cousin came back home. They hugged me for like
a good five minutes, and when we finally broke off,
I noticed my aunt had a few scratches on her.
I assumed they couldn't hold my aunt back from my

(16:43):
mom for much longer. My aunt caught me up on everything. Apparently,
after my cousin drove off with me, Alex came back
in and started screaming at Peach for ruining everything. Unbelievable.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Wow, yeah, blame her.

Speaker 5 (16:58):
Sure, cheating is of course only one sided.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
You shouldn't have been so attractive.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
That's your fall. You. You brought this upon me. You
convinced me to cheat with you. They got into a
screaming match, and some of our friends were trying to
split them apart. My grandparents, aunt and Tony, my mom's husband,
were drilling into my mother for answers. Tony was the
most livid. Apparently, during the family trip, I couldn't go

(17:25):
do my mom told Tony that I had offered my
ticket to Peach so she could enjoy a nice break
for herself. Tony, at this point, is screaming and reading
some of her messages out loud. She was begging him
to stop and that she could explain. My aunt started
adding on that she better start explaining because all she
sees is a worthless mother and a vile person. This

(17:47):
aunt is on Op's side like a riode or dive.
Apparently this set my mom off, and she started screaming
about how she hated me, about how I ruined her
life and made it difficult, how she felt like she
could never be happy because I was all a constant
reminder of her biggest mistake ever, and she regretted not
terminating me when she had the chance.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Jesus Christ, Oh my.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
God, I think that Opie's mom just wants Keeach as
her kid. I think that's what the moral of this
story is. Not the moral.

Speaker 5 (18:14):
That's the only thing I'm gonna take away from this story.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
Mom wants Peach as her daughter, and everyone in Opie's
life sucks except for the un that set my aunt off,
and she basically pounced on her for context. My aunt
is infertile and her words, I was the daughter she
never got to have. Wow, well now maybe she can
be your daughter full time. So in her mind, she
went full Mama Bear mode on my birth giver. That's

(18:40):
what I'm calling her now. My aunt has been more
of a mother to me than my mother has ever
been in the past twenty two years of my life.
To make a long list short, I'm honestly getting back
emotional and the fatigue and empty stomach aren't helping. Here
is everything else that happened. Oh my god, Tony is
divorcing my mom. He's been suspicious for months. She's cheating again,

(19:02):
that's probably why she was so kind of chill about
Peach and Alex cheating, because she was doing it. Ye
Peach exposed. Alex text her that he was sleeping with
her because he felt I was growing distant a while back.
I was putting in overtime at work to save up
for his birthday, and that he was lonely and didn't
know how to bring it up to me. Peach's father
spammed her with calls and will be cutting her off financially.

(19:24):
Apparently this is my fault and I'm an evil witch
for ruining her. According to her texts, no one can
take responsibility in the story. My mother has been on
a trade with our family, exclaiming I'm an evil person
for destroying her world. Again, should have thought about that
before condoning anything. Half siblings felt it wasn't their place
to say anything to me, and they also knew we

(19:45):
learned and that I should have expected Alex to look
elsewhere because humans aren't monogamous and people love who they
love wild A lot more has happened to avoid my
brain from imploding on itself from the stress and anger.
It's finally out in the air. I've been getting text
and calls from everyone, but at the moment I left
my phone in the other room. I'm updating this from
my aunt's computer. My aunt offered for me to stay

(20:07):
with her until I get out of this jumbled mess.
I accepted it, seeing as I have no intention of
going back to that apartment. I've already emailed my landlord
and we'll be handling it all the next week. My
boss emailed me back and said I was allowed to
use some PTO for as long as I needed. That's nice,
they understand I will definitely take it, seeing as I'm
highly considering moving somewhere quiet and peaceful. I'm thinking maybe

(20:29):
Iwa or maybe even North Carolina. I've heard they have
good cost of living in those states. I want to
thank you guys so much again. I truly appreciate all
the support I've been given and receiving. I'll be offline
after today for a few days. I feel like I
need to just disconnect from everything and just actually comfort myself.
My aunt and cousin are at my place getting some

(20:50):
of my things, and my cat Alex is there begging
them to not take my things and to have me
just talk to him. I don't know what he thinks
a conversation will do, so the emotional and mental scar
I have is not going to go away for a while.
I also know I have a long journey waiting for
me in therapy. A lot of people have been pointing
out that I was severely abused by my mom. Now

(21:12):
that I know how much she hates me, it will
be easier to go no contact. And that is the
end of this story. What a roller coaster, What a
roller coaster. So much stuff happened in this update. Wild Yeah,
definitely go no contact with all of your family except
for your aunt. Yeah, because this truly a horrible family.
And also, I just can't believe that everyone who was

(21:33):
involved in it is blaming each other. It's like, well,
it was all likes you did it was Peach, you
did it. Ridiculous, crazy crazy.

Speaker 3 (21:42):
My wife cheated on me seven years ago, but I
just found out and I'm not over it. I've been
married over twenty years, most of them good. We have
two grown kids out of the house. About seven years
ago things were rocky, and at the time my wife
confessed to have feelings for another man she had met online.
She said she didn't feel loved by me, and really,

(22:05):
I'm not a demonstrative guy and I work a lot,
so don't think I'm being one of those It's my
fault guys, because I'm not. I'm an only child and
really a very independent and reserved. She said that she
thought she had to decide between the two of us,
and she decided to be with me. Hurt, but like
I said, I'm pretty self sufficient and we got past it.
Confused what self sufficient has to do with getting past

(22:27):
major betrayal.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
But by the way, this comes from you.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Slash wife cheated seven years ago on the r dash
okay storytime subreddit. Fast forward seven years from the cheating,
I presume I had pretty much forgotten about the whole thing.
We've had a good times and I love her. She's
out of town for an extended period. We were talking
on the phone when she confessed that she hadn't told
me the whole story seven years ago, when on a

(22:49):
business trip back then, he traveled to meet her and.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
The had spicy sleep. She says that they really.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
Did break it off back then, and that I now
know the whole story.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
She had been following.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
The better to keep it to yourself and live with
the guilt plan, awful plan, who's planning? Don't do that planning.
But for whatever reason, she gave that up and came clean.
I think there are only two possible courses, divorce her
or forgive her. If I don't divorce her, anything else
like yelling at her, having my own affair, etc. Would
just be hurting the woman I love. I decided to

(23:23):
forgive her, but she's still out of town, not getting
back for a few weeks.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yet.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
It's been a week since the confession, and I'm finding
it harder and harder to live with my decision. Once
I decide something, I don't generally re examine it, but
I also generally don't fight my instincts. I don't want
to divorce her. I really don't, at least I hope
I don't. I'm stuck advice, but we have an update.
So I was planning to tough it out until she

(23:48):
got back and then have the serious conversation. This was
because I figured the conversation would be tough for her.
I wanted it face to face in case something went wrong.
Plus communication is stronger face to face. And that's really
sweet that you're considering your partner and her feelings in
this that went out the window. While we were on
the phone earlier, she woke from a bad dream and
while we were talking, the conversation went to the affair,

(24:10):
and I couldn't stop it.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
So we have the serious talk now over the phone.
More background.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
She had already confessed to having an emotional affair, at
least partly because she didn't think I really loved her.
Things had been very rough for us off and on
back then, and we weren't as emotionally supportive of each
other as we should have been. Nevertheless, she had decided
to stay with me and the kids, even though she
was uncertain about our relationship. She had a trip scheduled,

(24:36):
and apparently I made some smart but remarked about her weight.
She had gained a few pounds but wasn't fat. I
probably didn't think anything of it, but I do have
a smart mouth, So she apparently asked if that was
really how I wanted to send her out of town,
and apparently it was because I did, she called him
to come meet her on that trip. I don't even

(24:57):
remember that trip, let alone what I said to her
at the time. She's not sure why she didn't leave then,
it's been a long time, and her memory of it
isn't all that clear either. They continued talking online, though,
oh wow after the fact.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
So after he.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Found out back then that she was emotionally cheating, I
guess they continue talking online. She says that a few
months later I said something about how I loved her
and couldn't imagine being without her, and she realized that
I meant it, and that's when things started to turn around.
To just tell your wife, tell your loved ones you
love them, and they won't cheat on you.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yeah, she was like, I don't know, cuckoo.

Speaker 3 (25:32):
By the way, they've been improving roughly ever since. Somewhere
in there, she told him it wasn't going to continue,
and they haven't spoken since the relationship started on AOL.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah AOL? What of it?

Speaker 3 (25:45):
And she doesn't go there anymore, hasn't for years. Back
to now, she says she read an article that husbands
whose wives dot are happier than husbands whose wives have affairs.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
If you are a widow, you're happier than if you're
wife cheats.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
I don't know, what do you think interesting? What do
you think about that?

Speaker 1 (26:04):
I don't know? Is this saying like in the long
run or in that moment you're like, oh, thank god,
my wife's dead. Didn't cheat on me.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
Just generally, but I would say the opposite, Like intuitively,
I would say that people that felt that they were
in a happy relationship and lost their wife or husband,
that they would be heartbroken then if their partner cheated
on them.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
That's an interesting article.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
She read this article, and this was a good thing
for me because it made me realize that I do
want to continue with her.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
It's like, well, I would prefer that you cheated on me,
that you were dead.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
I'm happy or not dead babies. So now I just
had to talk her into it. We talked for a
few hours. Viber is a great application for international cause,
by the way, and I feel much better. I'm not
sure she does. There was a lot of self recrimination.
I told her repeatedly that I'm the only person who
could judge whether she's what I want, and I'm happier
with her than without. She's smart and funny and still

(26:59):
way out my league look wise, so I'm pretty sure
we'll stay together. I'm pretty convinced it was just a
one time thing, and as long as we keep working
at it. Hopefully we won't ever get to a dark
place like that again. But all of you who asked, yes,
she was tested for STDs at the time, I'm still
probably get tested the next time. I'll go to the doctor.
Counseling is likely in our future. Wonderful, that's needed, very needed.

(27:23):
But if we keep having conversations like today until she
gets back, I'm betting we'll be talked out by then.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Interesting that he was seeing it as like a one
time thing when this was an ongoing, like months long affair.
I guess it just happened in a one point in
their life. I guess, like, how do you consider one
time cheating or what do you consider one time cheating?
Because I would think it's like like one night versus
one person.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Yes, to me, like a one time cheating is like
they hooked up with someone. Yeah, I'll hit the gym
tomorrow and run until I feel better or puke, whichever
comes first. If your partner cheats on you just go
to the gym just you know, work at how if
your biceps are big enough, you can't feel emotional pain.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
If you're sweating, it doesn't look like you're crying.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Again, Thanks for being a sounding board, it really helped.
I want to say something, This is not validating cheating
by any means. Any sense of betrayal is betrayal and
the lack of integrity. But to just bring in some
of his partner's perspective, which I always want to bring
in both sides, is that this man seems somewhat out
of touch with his emotions, and earlier he was saying

(28:32):
that he was feeling really removed from her. And so
if her as a partner is not feeling her husband's care, affection,
love or even just energy or even just like what's
going on in his internal world, her needs are not
being met in the relationship. So that requires her to

(28:53):
either you know, just bear it out, which most people
can't do, talk to her partner, which most people don't
have the relationship skills to have a productive conversation like that,
or to cheat, which again not validating it, like cheating
is never the answer, but just to kind of bring
in full context here, No, I think that.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Is interesting, but I think it's more relevant, like in
improving the relationship going forward, because it does seem like
he's very much just like, ah, that happened. Oh well,
let's move forward. And she's like, I didn't even know
that you loved me, which again like she is the
a hole for cheating at one hundred percent. But if
you want to fix the relationship, I think they need

(29:32):
to have a conversation about him being emotionally vulnerable and
communicating that with his wife.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
So there's relevant convents comments. So don't forget pants.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
A lot of people in relationships develop crushes here and there,
and she made a mistake taking it too far, But
she chose you, and she's stuck with that decision for
a long time and it hasn't strayed since. It sounds
like she loves you and you obviously love her. Tell
her that a lot so she never feels alone again.
I think forgiving her and staying with her is definitely
the right choice. You guys are in the sting together.

(30:04):
It took some balls for her to come clean. You
two have stuck it out a long time and have
raised two kids together. It sounds like the love and
togetherness in your relationship far outweighs the mistakes.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
I don't know if, like I fully agree with how
that was written. At the end of the day, I
do think that they can work through this. But I
think that this commenter's very forgiving of everything that she did.
This commentary is the wife.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
The wife is like, Actually, she sounds like a wonderful wife.
You should forgive her. Yeah, and she's really pretty today.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
Sorry, but you aren't going to be forgiving her after
a week. News like this takes a long time to heal.
It takes a few weeks even reached a point where
you are properly ready to make any judgment about the future.
Preach it probably is of benefit that she's a way,
so you have that space to go through that phase.
When she's back, you can both start searching for a solution.
You'll work through this together.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Hopefully.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
It's been seven years and a lot of what has
caused the issue at the time has already resolved. By
the way you forgive is spending time together doing what
brought you together in the first place.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
I'm sure you don't.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
Need me to tell you that you aren't forgiving if
you sleep with someone else. As tough as it will be,
you need to work toward the point when you don't
feel a need for revenge. Look, you already care about
your wife and know that would hurt her. You are
halfway there.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
There's no updates, right, there's no updates.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Give us your last comment.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
My last comment. I feel for this guy.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
I sometimes lead workshops around human connection, and most of
human connection is connecting to your own vulnerability and your
own body, felt sensations, to your own emotions, and a
lot of people are so disconnected from that, and partly
because of you, you know, wounding and just not feeling
comfortable connecting to your body. So I feel bad for him,

(31:45):
and I hope that he could, you know, take the
one just acknowledge that it is so important even to
his relationship in order to come back into contact with
his body and his emotions, and then also like take
that as part of the mending process for if he
chooses to stay with his partner, and to include that
as like a core pillar.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
I definitely think he needs to do some solo therapy
work and figure out his motions and then also go
into marriage counseling. But that is it. That's the end
of that story. My wife named our son after her
first love. He's five now, and I just found out
a lot of revelations happening later in these marriages. This
is my throwaway account because she knows my main account.

(32:26):
My son is five. About two days ago, we were
out shopping and ran into a high school friend of hers.
She was catching up when she told her friend that
we had a son. When the old friend asked his name,
my wife hesitated and told her not the hesitation. He
had a strange look on her face. Then said, you
mean like your ex boyfriend, not even just like a

(32:48):
crush ex boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Why would you say that as a friend.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Yeah, that's so awkward. Our son's name is very unique,
to the point that I've never met another person with
the same name. Now she refuses to talk to me
about it. I felt betrayed and disgusted with her. It's
like a switch was flipped in my mind and I
just can't look at it the same way. By the way,
this comes from Bill Nye's Inner Thigh on the r

(33:14):
slash Jokey story. Times I've read it. There's a multiple
updates and some relevant comments. Update one lots of questions,
so I'll go ahead and answer a few that have
been mentioned a few times. I'm not giving out my
son's name. When we discussed the name, I had no
idea it was her high school ex's name. I knew
she had one boyfriend in high school whose name was
never told to me, and the relationship lasted around two years.

(33:37):
I'm upset, but that doesn't automatically make me abusive. I
would never raise my hand to my wife or anyone
else I care about. I will always love my son,
and I would never, I mean never, treat him any differently.
I will post an update when I talked to her,
probably in a day or two. Okay, okay, that was
a weird thing to bring up.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
Maybe people were like accusing him.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
If no one was accusing you of that, that's crazy
to just bring up update two. So to get some
things out of the way, first, the kid is mine,
not her ex boyfriends. I have very pronounced features that
he also has. Plus her ex was black and I'm white.
I'm not going to throw him away. The baby has

(34:17):
so many comments suggested what commenters is suggesting you throw away?
Of five year olds. When we were deciding on the name,
she said she remembered somebody from school who had it
and instantly loved it. My wife and I both had
a very promiscuous past before we met, and agreed that
the past should stay there, so I didn't push too
hard to know certain details. I knew she had one

(34:38):
boyfriend in high school who cheated on her, but I
never asked his name, and that's my fault. So update time. Thursday,
we didn't have the discussion because that is her late
day at work. Plus this wasn't a discussion I wanted
to have with our son in the house, which I
think is smart. So Thursday night, when she came in,
I told her that Friday, after work, we needed to

(34:58):
sit down and and if she has any plans she
needed to cancel. She looked very worried and said, okay.
Friday came and we sit down after her sister came
to pick up her son for a sleepover. I asked,
why would she not tell me where our name came from.
She said she was sorry, but she didn't think it
was that big of a deal and I would not

(35:18):
agree to it. I told her that it was my
choice too, and she took that away from me. Two
ridiculous statements from her. One she didn't think it was
a big deal, which is a lie because she clearly
hesitated when she was telling people about it, so she
knew there was something messed up about it, and then
the second one, she knew that you wouldn't agree to it,
which is taking away your autonomy and in naming your child.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
Oh, what should we name our kid?

Speaker 1 (35:43):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (35:43):
I have this one idea that you won't be uh
let in on.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
Yeah, totally not tricking you or anything.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
Cray.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
I asked her if she would feel the same way
if we had a daughter and named her after one
of my exes, and she said, that's different. I wouldn't
let that happen. She's like, no, no, no, that's different.
You respect me, don't worry.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
That's a great counterpoint from him, though.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
She said that she knows she can disconnect the name
from her ex, but she wouldn't be sure. I could
do the same question, though, because I don't have xes.
Can you name your child after a childhood crush?

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (36:18):
So it's just you were in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
No, a high school relationship for two years.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
That's too long, I agree, But there's more to this story.
I was floored and started to feel sicker than I
had felt. I told her that that's one of the
students things I had ever heard come out of someone's mouth.
I moved on because I had more questions, and I
was about to go off just on what she had
just said. I asked her if she still loved him,
and she paused for a minute then said yes, but

(36:46):
not in the same way she loves me, and that
you don't just stop loving someone that love changes. I disagree.
If your point is, oh, you know, like I'll still
have a certain fondness for him, I don't think you
have to say, yeah, I still love him.

Speaker 5 (37:02):
It's like having a shrine in your house for your
ex and being like, no, I'm not with them, I'm
with you. We just have our shrine here that we're
gonna raise and polish.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
And we're gonna spend a lot of money on the
shrine to remember my love for my ex. I wanted
to throw up. At this point, she could see that
I was very upset. She smiled at me and said
I should know she only wants to be with me.
I said that I needed to know how you love him.
At this point, she put her hand on my leg
and tried to change the subject. What's like, Okay, I

(37:42):
only love you, don't worry about it. I told her
to take your effing hand off me right now and
answer the question. Her mood changed right there, from wanting
to move past this to know he didn't just effing
cuss at me. She said, look, you're upset, and I
get that, but what's done is done, so you need
to get over this and move on. She got up

(38:02):
and said, I'm meeting my mom for dinner. I'll see
you when you get home. I told her, if you
walk out that door, then no, you won't. She looked
at me like I was full of crap. Rabbed her
purse and left. I packed my bag and stayed at
a friend's house last night. Right now, I'm just sitting
here trying to figure out what to do next. And
there are some relevant comments to finish this story off.

(38:25):
But boy, oh boy, what do you do here?

Speaker 2 (38:27):
I mean, it's getting heated for good reason.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Yeah, and she's kind of like brushing past everything, and
that's the main issue. I think they could have worked
through this pretty effectively.

Speaker 5 (38:38):
There's a world in which she goes, Listen, I messed up.
Perhaps I shouldn't have named our child after my ex,
who I still have feelings for in some fashion. Perhaps
maybe that wasn't the move. Listen, get over it.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
It's over. It's been five years. What are you gonna
do change his name? No, yeah, you're Jack, that's your name,
or you just make them go buy a nickname. Slyly
Toe says, you get a DNA test, a divorce, and custody.
I do think that you need some pretty severe marriage counseling.
I don't know if I would rush to divorce because
they have a kid, but like the fact that she's

(39:14):
so defensive and not willing to answer any of his concerns.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
Who do you care about more? It seems like you
care more about protecting your ex.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, very concerning.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
I think the comments will be very enlightening.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Two three four two three four two three four one
one one says I have a father and so I
understand the general stress level in your life. And I
am a married man, so I can understand how painful
this news was to you. To me, the main thing
is that she won't talk to you about it. Not
discussing openly in a marriage is like a tree rotting

(39:48):
from within. You may not see the damage, but it's
impossible to be strong if you cannot talk about everything.
What a metaphor one problem is I see is that
she kept this a secret and deceived you. In order
to win a private victory or meaning for herself. That
is not a good thing in a marriage. However, because
it involves your son, it is much more serious and

(40:11):
will need to be sortied. Here is my advice. I
would draw a red line in terms of discussing this.
Your wife will need to discuss this matter, and in
my mind, she will need to accept that it is
an issue and understand why this may take a long time.
To achieve it. You will need to be strong and
not bend here and there with the moods of the relationship.
In my opinion, until you achieve understanding and clarity on

(40:34):
this issue between you both, you cannot move forward. So
you will need to be the one to shoulder this
and insist that it is done in an adult and
straightforward matter. Second, you must swallow it when it comes
to your son, regardless of what happens. It's not the
boy's fault. I know you know this, but you should
meditate on it a bit and really let it sink

(40:54):
in that a boy needs his father and that nothing
has come between you and him. If I were you,
my top priority would be to secure that relationship, regardless
of whatever else happens. Finally, you should reach out to
some people close to you, maybe even some professional in
order to get your feeling straight on this. You are
facing a decently big betrayal at the outset of life

(41:15):
changes and responsibility. Your son will soon be a young
man and he will need you to be strong to
support him. Therefore, you must get everything clear in your heart.
Even if your wife has betrayed you and all that
has gone as wrong as you can possibly imagine, you
must still bear that and hold up your responsibilities. You
can do this, You just have to accept it for

(41:35):
what it is, not less and also not more. Good luck.
You can do it, and if you guys can also
join us live every week to at three PMPST just
tap a profile.

Speaker 5 (41:44):
Boy oh boy, I think that person just kind of
nailed it. Hit it on the old nail of the
head with the noggin.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, I agree with that hit it on the nail
in the head bullseye.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
I don't know what else I have to say.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
I think that it's going to be really tough.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
It's really important that they are on the same page
and that she comes to an understanding that it was
not the move. Yeah, it doesn't gaslight him and if.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
He keeps that relationship and that argument separate from his kids.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Do you ever tell the kid?

Speaker 1 (42:17):
I don't know if you necessarily need to.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
You don't need to, Like I don't know if.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
It's not necessarily. But that is the end of that story.
My girlfriend loves watching spicy dancers, but she's kept it
a secret for me for years. Oh Micosa sposidy so
I twenty eight male and Jen twenty six female have
been dating exclusively for two years and living together for

(42:42):
six months. We live in the college town where we
both earned our computer science degrees, but we didn't know
each other in college. Jen is the classic cute nerd
who loves playing video games and is a huge fan
of Doctor Who Love It. By the way, this comes
from Ta nerd Girl Malaru review on the Okay Storytime

(43:02):
suppared it.

Speaker 6 (43:03):
So.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Jen has a good college friend, Amber, with whom she
goes out with maybe once every four to six weeks.
Usually it's something low key, like a movie or dinner
and drinks. Many times it's during the week, not the weekend.
I have never thought anything of it because I've never
had a reason to. Plus, sometimes Jen comes home really
corny and wants to have spicy sleep as soon as

(43:24):
she stumbles through the door. Is she under the influence? Oh?

Speaker 4 (43:27):
She probably like just seeing those men, I need some now.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
But other times she texts me to say she's going
to crash at Amber's place. A few nights ago, Jen
and Amber had a girl's night. She told me they
were going to see a late movie and maybe grab
some drinks after. Jen came home around eleven pm, tipsy
but not wasted, and basically jumps me in bed. We
went at it until she fell asleep. Around one am.

(43:51):
Nine When I went to turn her light off, I
noticed a pop up on her phone with a QR
code ticket pass to something called Men in Motion. Googled it.
It's a traveling show with male spicy dancers that travels
around the country and puts on male spicy shows. And yes,
the ticket was for a show tonights. Jen and I

(44:11):
don't have an open phone policy, but I know her
password and I was more than curious. I checked her
app ticket history and it looks like she's gone to
a lot of these shows. I also looked at her
photos and found a folder with over hundreds of pictures
of her with spicy dancers. Wearing not a lot of clothing.
I'm struggling with the idea that Jen enjoys watching hot

(44:32):
spicy men dance and has been hiding it from me.
I feel inadequate and uneasy about the situation. Although there's
no evidence she cheated, there have been two nights she
didn't come home that match the dates of the show. Yeah,
I have a good memory. It makes me wonder if
something more is going on. I've always trusted Jen, and
I don't want to accuse her of anything without evidence. However,

(44:52):
this whole situation is making me uneasy. How do I
bring this up to her without making her feel like
I don't trust her? And how do I deal with
the nagging feeling that even more may have happened. Would
I be the able if I confronted her about this?
And there is an upding update one first, thank you
all for the comments. It really helped me get my
head on straight and realized I've been gaslighting myself. The

(45:14):
shock of knowing my nerdy Jen was regularly watching male
spicy dancers, along with low key feeling of inadequacy. I'm
okay looking, but I'm not ripped, blinded me to the
fact that the active deception on her part was the
bigger issue. Anyhow, Here's an update on what's happened. I
knew I had to talk to Jen at home Thursday evening.
I told her I saw the ticket on her phone

(45:35):
the night of the show and asked her why she
lied to me that she was going to the movies.
She was initially taken aback and defensive, but eventually apologized
for not being upfront. She said that she and Amber
just considered it a fun and even silly girls' night activity.
Jen admitted she kept it quiet from me because she
wasn't sure how I would react and didn't want to

(45:55):
make things awkward between us by even asking. It was
just something fun and not She admitted that this was
not her first time attending a show like this, but
she couldn't remember how many times in the past. Jen
also said something I never thought of, that she felt
safe going to these shows as it was an all
women environment compared to bars and clubs where guys get
wasted and hit on women. She reassured me that these

(46:18):
shows were just tough fun and not about any dissatisfaction
with our relationship. She said at least three times that
she finds me attractive and was very satisfied with our
spicy sleep life. She even said it would help me
process things that she and I could go together to
a club with female dancers. Neither of us have ever
been to a spicy club with female dancers, but thought

(46:39):
it would be similar and I could see for myself
that it was just naughty fun and we could experience together.
After a couple of hours of talking, she grabbed my
hand and took me up to the bedroom to assure
me that I am still the hottest man in her life.

Speaker 4 (46:52):
Oh yeah, dude, you put that magic mike. I'll do
one of those dances the girls did.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Oh oh nice, that was great, Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
There is more, but she's pausing really quick. I think
that is sweet. However, the fact that she lied to
you needs to be like, she can't just get away
with oh I didn't know you would react. No, she
actively withheld information. The act of going to the spicy
clubs is not like a problem if both partners are
you aware of that?

Speaker 4 (47:23):
Yeah, so with it it is us.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah, I think that's messed up that she was keeping that.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
We'll say they get over this. I still think the
relationship is good.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
I think they could get through this for sure. But
I think she just needs to be like, I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have kept that a secret, like actively saying,
you know, actively working to get trust back and stuff.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
I think that that they're first, That's why she did this.
They are there each others first. Oh so she doesn't
know like I see other men. Yeah, I'm sorry. I
don't know how to communicate that.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Next day, I was satisfied with her explanation. Jen didn't
tell me how many times she had gone to these shows,
but I chalked it up to her being embarrassed at
me finding out and not wanting to hurt me anymore.
I also didn't ask about the pictures. I didn't want
her to know that I had looked at her phone
and there really wasn't any smoking pew pew evidence of infidelity.
But the next day something still just felt off, maybe

(48:15):
me just questioning myself and my naivete up until.

Speaker 4 (48:19):
This point at her phone.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
You both were keeping secrets. You gotta tell her, so
I reached out to a mutual friend of ours, Kirsten.
Kirsten was a part of Jen and Amber's college friend
group and I knew Kirsten casually from a few classes
we had taken together. Kirst and I were close at all,
and I hadn't seen her since graduation, but we reconnected
at her wedding a couple of years ago. The wedding
was just around the time Jen and I became exclusive.

(48:44):
Jen and Amber were both bridesmaids. Jen took me as
or plus one. As far as I knew, Kirsten and
Jen didn't have much interaction after the wedding, which I
assume was just normal for married people to lose contact
with unmarried friends. I messaged Kirsten's Saturday. I used the
pretense that I was thinking of taking things to the
next level with Jen and that said she was the
first person in the friend group that got married and

(49:05):
that she knew Jen that she could give me some advice.
What she said next stunned me. She said that she
didn't know that Jen and I were a couple and
that she hadn't spoken to Jen since the wedding. She
also said we should meet up for coffee so she
could fill me in on some things in person, but
not to tell Jen we were meeting. Definitely cheating, She asked.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
To have cheat.

Speaker 4 (49:26):
It is so weird, Like if I had a friend
that I consider my best friend, I don't even know
that they have a partner, and I'm taking them out
to like all these things.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
No.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
I think what happened is Jen and Ope's partner were
friends prior to Jen's wedding, and then I think something
probably happened at Jen's bachelorette party, and like they you know,
caught off their friendship. And now she's finding like ohmg,
Ohpi's stating, you know, his girlfriend and he probably doesn't

(49:54):
know about that what happened at the bachelorette party something
along those lines.

Speaker 4 (49:58):
God, God, it's still weird that I don't know you
have a friend and they have a partner and you
don't know about that. Friends are you?

Speaker 1 (50:04):
They're not good, that's what she said. They said that
they're after the wedding.

Speaker 4 (50:07):
They like, sorry, I thought this is like the best
friend she went out with like four to six times
a week.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
No, no, no, different friend.

Speaker 4 (50:14):
Different friend, Yeah, apologies, different friends.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
We had coffee Sunday, Wow, just at thing. Wow. Here
is what she told me. I have written this chronologically
so it makes more sense.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
About go away your guests, he has probably more than
just two points. Okay, say it another point.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
My same point.

Speaker 4 (50:31):
I think she cheated, Okay, cheated and got with one
of those spicy dancers. Yeah, afterwards, because they get tacos afterwards.
Because I saw one of the dancers afterwards get tacos,
so like they're people, they're people.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
One. According to Kirsten, Jen was a virgin until her
twenty first birthday.

Speaker 6 (50:48):
By the way, if you want to see bonus videos
not on this page, search Okay story time clips on
Facebook for more.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
Okay, back to the story.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
As a joke, Kristen Amber and friends decided to hire
a male spicy dancer for Jen's birthday saw clebration. To
everyone's shock, Jen really liked the dancer and lost her
virginity that night.

Speaker 4 (51:07):
WHOA dang, No, that's like that not saying that's bad,
but like to me, that is something very special and
you give it to someone that like that's what the
world is.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
I think it differs for different people. I think that
it really is like like I heard this thing about
like a first kiss and they were like talking about
like someone I think it was in a show and
the person was saying, like their first kiss was terrible,
and they're like, it's not about the first kiss, it's
about the first one that matters, And I think that's
really nice. So I think in this case, you know,
it's up to her whatever she does. However, I do

(51:37):
think it's kind of unprofessional of the stripper. Hopefully she wasn't,
you know, pushing him to do anything. Jen became more
interested in dancers and would do things like suggesting magic
mic for movie night. Other times she would comment on
guys walking around campus, making comments about abs and biceps
and saying, I bet he looks good in the thong
girl Jen calm down for Jen serious boyfriend after college

(52:01):
and before we met that I didn't know about. According
to Kirsten, the relationship ended when the boyfriend discovered Jen
in bed with Yep, a spicy dancer. Jenna gone to
a mail review hung out after the show, she managed
to pick up one of the dancers and took him home.
She's got riz with spicy dancers specifically. The boyfriend ended
up moving out of town for work, which is why

(52:22):
I had never heard of him. The friend group knew
about this mess, and Kirsten figured Jen had learned her
lesson six at Kirsten's bachelorette party, where Jen and Amber
were bridesmaids. Kirsten had explicitly told them no spicy dancers.
She's like, do not, We all know, Jen.

Speaker 4 (52:40):
It's just gonna do something crazy. I don't want to
be around that. Let's not.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Kirsten was understandably furious with them hijacking her bachelorette and
blatantly disrespecting her, and ended the friendship with Jen and Amber,
though she kept them in the wedding party because the
wedding date was only a week away and she didn't
want word of this to get out and overshadow the wedding.
Looking back, I remember the vibe of the wedding felt off,

(53:05):
and this was why I could tell Kirsten was still
rightfully very pissed about this whole situation and said I
deserve to know the truth. Over the course of an hour,
I went from stunned to furious. I'll spare you the
ugly details of Sunday evening, but I broke it off
and told Jen she has until the end of the
week to move out. She was crying, screaming, begging, but

(53:26):
at this point I had enough and told her she
could f off and pass away. That's pretty intense. Among
her excuses, there is nothing wrong with a woman liking
hot men, and that it was all just a fantasy,
no different than guys liking corn except it's not a
fantasy if you're actively doing it. It got her corny,
and I got the benefit of it. I was being insecure.
She really loved me and saw future together and this

(53:49):
was something she could work through. Oh, she never slept
with spicy dancers after Kirsten's bachelorette and that debacle was
early in our relationship and shouldn't count. But who the fs?
Were they official?

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Though?

Speaker 1 (54:01):
If you guys were official, then it absolutely counts.

Speaker 4 (54:04):
That's a big one.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
Jen will be sleeping in the spare room for now,
but I told her this is over. I will avoid
her as much as I can until she moves out.
I am not worried about her doing psycho crap. I
think she knows I will go nuclear and tell her
parents and family the whole story if she tries anything.
So it's done. Thank you again for everyone who gave
me the needed push to man up and confront this.

Speaker 4 (54:25):
Oh no, there's a second update. This is what happens.
She goes to the male dudes and it's like, hey, guys,
we have to go and convince my husband to get
back with me. They all go up and they're like,
will you be my boyfriend? She's like, no, will you
be my boyfriend? No boyfriend? No, get to the end
hoping he will say it, and then he says, yes,
I'll be your boyfriend, and they all flash.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Dance Yeah, except they're actually flashing.

Speaker 4 (54:45):
Yep, just winger and balls everywhere. It's left and right.
There you have it, sausage party with some meat balls adjoining.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
But there's an update. Jen finished moving out Saturday. No drama.
I mostly avoided her. She made some attempts at reconcilly,
but I think she knew it was hopeless. Some of
you made helpful suggestions to protect myself, but mostly weren't needed.
I wasn't worried about her trashing the place. She's not crazy,
she just got caught. She also knew that I would
go nuclear if she tried any stunts. In all years together,

(55:16):
she has never seen me this pissed off. Well, I
had never seen me this pissed off. I also wasn't
worried about her trying to spend some story for sympathy.
Our respective families live in different states, our friends circles
what's left of hers don't overlap. We work for different companies,
so there was no one for her to play the
sympathy card on. Also, I wasn't worried about baby dropping,

(55:36):
as I would never stick my wiener in that. Again, also,
we are both well paid IT professionals with plenty of
disposable income and no desire to of kids. STD panel
is clean. I did speak with Kirsten, former friend of Jen,
to let her know what happened. One thing she said
made me feel a bit better. She said that during
and after college, Jen was actually pretty selective in who

(55:58):
she dated and was not into the case asual hookup
culture and probably hadn't been with more than five guys
total before me.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
They'd stop talking just in the Reddit story three sentences ago.
Stop with the obvious exception.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
She had hobby of effing spicy dancers, And yes, I
know that sounds ft up writing it, but she probably
wasn't running around with loads of random hookups behind my back.
So yes, I may have been naive, but not that naive.
But you know it's not naive joining us live every
weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok. It's
actually very adult of you. There's a little bit more
to the story. But yeah, I think that's the right decision.

Speaker 4 (56:32):
But Bro kind of burned out at the end there,
like he was a hero, and then he made some
remarks and was.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Like, no, no, just walk out. Yeah, let her leave.
But there's more to the story. One of my friends said,
this whole thing reminded him of stories but men who
with loving wives and families, but who have some spicy
desire that can only be satisfied by hiring street spicy captain.
Hook losing her virginity to a spicy dancer may have

(56:57):
done something to Jen Psyche that could only be satisfied
with some jack dude with oiled muscles dancing in the thorn.
You're just making up these thoughts. Not my problem anymore.
I am doing as okay as can be in this situation.
I am not really depressed, because I am still pissed
off with the whole situation. At some point I may
go to a spicy club just to see what they're
all about.

Speaker 4 (57:17):
My girlfriend and I invited a third into our relationship,
but I'm regretting it.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
You gotta be so sure about those things.

Speaker 4 (57:25):
You gotta make sure that his shoe size is a
bigger than yours, at.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Least three times for every person.

Speaker 4 (57:30):
My girlfriend twenty five female and I twenty six female,
have been together for three years. Our relationship has been
rocky throughout the whole thing because of instability. We finally
got stable and moved back to her hometown a few
months ago. Before moving here, we were pretty much together
twenty four to seven and where each other's only friend

(57:50):
slash companion. Just took a toll on my girlfriend because
she was used to having her friends around and not
being stuck at home all the time. So when we
moved back to her hometown, she had all of her
old friends back, plus some from her new job. She
started going out a lot with people from work that
I didn't know, and this caused more issues and stress,

(58:12):
which led to days of arguments and us growing apart
some more.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Doesn't seem like your relationship is going well?

Speaker 4 (58:19):
Yeah, you guys are on the dirt path, on the
dirt rocky road path, rocky path. We seem to always
come back to each other and ultimately realize that we
are going to keep trying no matter what happens. By
the way, this comes from shot Beautiful three seven eight
on the Archilize Okay storytime supred It. So during our
relationship we would talk about having a party of three,

(58:42):
but never did it. It got brought up again recently
as a joke, but it turned into the real thing
when her friend from work, thirty two Mal was brought
up in question. Me, being the people pleaser and a
bit curious, I'm usually agreed with my partner that we
can set up a three party with her friend. He agreed,

(59:03):
and we talked about boundaries together very briefly. I just
told him specific things that I did not want him
to do to her vice versa. I didn't really think
about the scenario as a whole and didn't lay down
more boundaries beforehand. Party of three happened, and during it
was okay, Like I didn't love it, but I didn't

(59:23):
hate it. After it was over, we all gone on
the couch and my partner started cuddling with both of
us and showing us both the faction. I was under
the impression that her friend would leave or at least
sleep on the couch, but instead they asked me if
it was okay if he slept in our bed.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
Actually, I think that's fair because aftercare. I think if
you sleep with someone, it's kind of crazy to be like,
go sleep on the couch. No, Am I wrong? Am
I wrong? I feel like if you sleep with someone,
you gotta do a little cuddling. You gotta have some
aftercare in that.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
There needs to be some cuddling.

Speaker 1 (59:58):
Yeah, I think like a little cuddling the bed, that's fair.
I think you need that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Riley likes his pillow talk.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
But let's say you have gone through this and you're like,
we're gonna do this. You're gonna like cuddle someone that's
not no, but they're all three cuddle Yeah, but like still, dude.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
I have an acronym a model of communicating how to
approach something like this. Okay, it's called r BDSMA our
relationship status. We're monogamous, where Polly, we're in an open relationship,
et cetera. Single whatever B is boundaries, D is desires,
So what desires do you want to engage with together? S?

(01:00:34):
Spicy status like, uh, when was the last time you
got tested? Et cetera, et cetera. M is meaning what
does this mean to you? And an A is aftercare.

Speaker 4 (01:00:43):
We'll put that in a presentation.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
I think, so this is slides one through ten.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
I don't know. I've never been in this situation, but
I do think that I feel like after care is important.

Speaker 4 (01:00:53):
But the world's a dark plays so summy, so freaking sumy,
all right? I told them it okay with me. My
girlfriend stated that since our living room is cold at
night and we don't have extra blankets and he might
freeze to death, it only makes sense if he slept
in our bed, so he did. The next morning, I
woke up and her back was on his front and

(01:01:16):
they were cuddled from the back while I was holding
her from the front. I was very hurt by this
and told my girlfriend that I did not want them cuddling.
She moved over, but he remained to sleep on the bed,
which I mean, come on, you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
See now, now we're dipping in dull, dangerous territory.

Speaker 4 (01:01:34):
They both went to his house while I was at
work to help him move things into his bedroom.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
You know what else they did in that bedroom?

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
Spicy move some boxes. Yes, oh y, I put a
lot of hard work into this joke.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
I was upset by this because I.

Speaker 4 (01:01:50):
Didn't want them hanging out alone after we did all that.
But she comes home after I get off work and
I barely give her attention and I don't hug her,
and she gets really upset and it turns into a
whole argument. She says that the only way this would
be fun for her is if she has the freedom
to be affectionate and spend time with the person as well.

Speaker 6 (01:02:12):
not on this page, search Okay story time clips on
Facebook for more.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Okay, back to the story.

Speaker 4 (01:02:19):
I did not agree to this because I thought it
would just be spouse asleep, but it turned into her
basically dating the both of us. We were monogamous for
three years together. After this argument, we all talk and
I tell them my hard boundaries on no hanging out
alone and he can only touch her while we're actively

(01:02:40):
in the party of three.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
I think that's fair. I think that's very fair. Otherwise
you're just dating two people.

Speaker 4 (01:02:46):
Yeah, and then it gets complicating and I a juggle
and then it's like I forgot your birthday. No, I
got to go to your birthday. The anniversaries come up, dude,
that's a lot present.

Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
I think everyone has to be aware of that. You're
dating three people for two people.

Speaker 4 (01:02:57):
They agreed and we decided to try it again because
I keep fighting for their relationship no matter what. Remember,
it was okay again. But after in the middle of
the night, I woke up and saw him checking if
she has milk. Wow, she was waking up out of sleep,
and before I thought about it, I pushed him off
of her very hard and cost him out. The next

(01:03:18):
morning was difficult because I felt bad for what I did,
and both of them were pretty much mad at me.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
She's literally dating both of you. This is crazy. This
isn't like a party of three anymore. This is he's
actively coming over and you guys are in an open relationship,
except you have not consented to it. Yep, I thought
she was asleep, is what Opie said. That's what I
was really concerned about. Yes, He's like, ohp he was asleep,
and based off of like the girl friend being mad
in the morning, it seems like she was up and

(01:03:44):
into it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:45):
They said it was within the boundaries. I said that
I shouldn't have been mad. I don't know if I'm
in the wrong or not, but I felt like I
was being manipulated by him. After I pushed him, he
decided to back away for a while and did it
come over for a few days. Today he came over
to talk and we discussed boundaries again and even made
multiple visual representations on paper to explain the boundaries. I

(01:04:09):
like that you did it on paper and not like
in person, like, we can't be doing this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
This is my boundary.

Speaker 4 (01:04:16):
I agreed that they could hang out as long as
no spotsy things happen. I feel really dumb because after
the talk they went to his house to watch movie
and hang out. Should I just give it up now?

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
I mean you've already expressed that you don't want them
to have relationship. She's continue this relationship beyond a party
of three, totally ignoring your boundaries time and time again.
I think it it's time doing this relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:04:42):
Yeah, and even before this all happened, your relationship was rocky.
It's like when a couple is like, we should have kids,
still fix our relationship. It's giving those vibes.

Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
Everyone always thinks adding a third person to your relationships
go fix it. I won't whether that be a child
or a spicy partner.

Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
Update talk to a girlfriend about it everything and how
I felt. She understood and said that we don't have
to do that anymore and she can take some time
away from their friendship. We have agreed to go to
couple's therapy and have a session tomorrow morning. Since the post,
I have been having outbursts and acting Craig Kray and
it's been causing her to be scared around me and

(01:05:20):
hang out with the same coworker. He's teaching her how
to play guitar. I bet he already knows how to
guitar and time over his house until ten or eleven
pm every night. Guitar lessons are kind of long. I'm
not gonna lie. She swears nothing is happening. She just
needs a safe place to go after work, since our
apartment seems unsafe to her now and doesn't have music

(01:05:43):
in it. Apparently, last night she came home a bit
early because I asked her to, and we actually talked
and things got better, just a little better. The relationship
is still in the air. I'm not sure if I
trust that they aren't doing things behind my back. I
also feel though I am being made to look crazier
than what I am, because she lied to me about
him before and in general, and she too can be manipulative.

(01:06:07):
I will discuss all this in therapy with her and
see what they say. As of now, no more parties
have happened, and I have not seen her friend. When
he brings her home, he parks far from the apartment,
probably because he's too scared of me. I barely have
seen her because we have been arguing a lot, and
she's been at work or with him. When I do

(01:06:29):
see her, she wants a little sposiveness and I just
go to sleep. It's never actually bonding or connecting. It's
always spyty sleep and sleep, wake up work. It seems
like there is hope with therapy, but outside of that,
all hope seems lost. We still care about each other
a lot, and we say that, but we talk for

(01:06:51):
more than twenty minutes. Somehow, some way, it turns into
an argument. We'll let you guys know what the therapist says.
I hope she says, break the f up. Oh my
freaking gosh.

Speaker 1 (01:07:03):
Like after twenty minutes of talking it turns into an argument.
That's a healthy actively still seeing this guy and hanging
out with him and he parks far away. She's playing
you like the guitar that he's playing her.

Speaker 4 (01:07:14):
Yeah, like a fiddle or guitar. Well that's the end
of that story, and yeah, please burn up with her.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
God, my girlfriend and I agree to open our relationship,
but now she's accusing me of cheating on her.

Speaker 4 (01:07:26):
You can't have your cake and need it too, girl.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
We have been together for three years. Things were going
well for the most part. We got along and would
rarely fight. Even when we did, we would often both
cool down and talk it out. Not long after, however,
about two weeks ago, my girlfriend approached me and asked
if I wanted to open our relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:07:42):
Just like a random thought she had.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
I don't have anyone in mind, but like, do we
think of what? I was immediately shocked and I almost
thought she was joking at first. She said that she
really loves me and wants to be with me, but
before we get more serious, she wants to get more experience.
She was my first everything, and she has been with
two guys.

Speaker 4 (01:08:00):
She definitely needs more experience because she's like, look, I
want to cheat your rat. That's thoughtful.

Speaker 1 (01:08:04):
I shot down the idea and told her I wasn't
comfortable with it. She kept badgering me about it, but
eventually relented when she realized I wasn't budging and that
seemed like the end of it. However, a few days
later she came to me again and asked me more
aggressively about it and was insinuating that we might have
to take a break if we can't just try opening
our relationship for a few months, you got to break up,

(01:08:25):
you got to break up, don't breakup. Considering it was
basically we'd take a break or I just give her this,
I relented and said we could open up the relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:08:33):
And it's hard for him because it's his first and
he's like, oh my gosh, I think this is the one,
and it happens to some people. Hey, this is one.
I have to do whatever she says, and I will
stick through this through the end. By the way, this
comes from f parking on the Okay storytime subured it.
So two days later, last Friday, I got home from
work and saw she was dressed up and I asked

(01:08:54):
what for. She said that she was going out to
the bar with her friends and she wouldn't be back
until tomorrow. I immediately recognize what this meant and asked
if she would rather spend the night in with me,
but she said she really wanted to do this. Eventually,
she left and I was left sitting alone watching TV
getting wasted. I could not sleep if that was happening.

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
I got sad, so I called one of my close friends,
twenty three female, and was telling her about the situation.
After we talked for a while, I asked if she
wanted to come over and drank because I was feeling
like crap being alone. After she got there, and we
hung out for a bit, drinking and discussing the open
relationship and how upset I was. My friend suggested it
that if my girlfriend was essentially cheating on me, I

(01:09:34):
might as well enjoy the perks of an open relationship too.
She's like, whoa, what if you were to maybe have
spicy sleep with another girl that I don't know has
been in front of you the whole time. I am
sure you could see what happened there, and I won't
get into details, but it made me feel a lot
better for to the next morning and I wake up

(01:09:54):
to my girlfriend freaking out, asking me what the heck
my friend and I were doing in our bed. I
told her what happened, and she got mad. She told
me that she didn't even end up doing anything last
night and ended up crashing at her friend's house.

Speaker 4 (01:10:05):
Thanks, she's just mad. You got lucky, she didn't I
was supposed to do I was supposed to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
Not fair.

Speaker 1 (01:10:11):
Not fair. She now wants to close a relationship, back
off and make me prove my loyalty for cheating on her.
We never discussed any rules or anything like that, so
I really don't see how I did anything wrong. So
am I the ale for participating in the open relationship
that my girlfriend suggested? And there is an update? Break

(01:10:31):
date your girlfriend?

Speaker 4 (01:10:33):
Dude? What the heck? They're both so taking messy?

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
Is so messy? Everyone's sexier breakup update. A ton of
people were inquiring about how the whole situation played out
and asking me for an update. It's been an incredibly
hectic month for me, but things have started to settle
down and I'm ready for an update. So for starters,
my girlfriend and I ended up officially breaking up. Wooess wow,

(01:10:56):
And he says open relationships always need boundaries and rules.
A few days after my initial post. It was not
a pretty scene. She kept calling me a cheater and
telling me what a piece of crap I was for
cheating on her. He didn't, they opened the relationship. I
took this for a few days while I tried to
figure out what to do, but eventually I snapped back
at her one day. I should have tried to keep

(01:11:16):
my cool, but I told her she is genuinely the
stupidest person I've ever met in my life for thinking
an open relationship would work out, and it's her fault
everything blew up. I told her, I played by her
rules and it's not my fault. I found someone to
hook up with faster than she could.

Speaker 6 (01:11:32):
not on this page, search Okay story Time clips on
Facebook for more. Okay, back to the story.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
She told me she didn't want to cheat on me.
She wanted to explore, and I should have understood. We
went in circles arguing for a bit, but I eventually
told her to get out of my apartment. I pay
rent and my name is on the lease, and I
had to threaten to call the cops before she realized
I was serious. She, of course, then broke down, crying,
saying she had nowhere to go, and told me she
loved me and wanted to make things work. I held

(01:12:00):
firm and told her to leave. After she was out,
I immediately felt better, realizing that relationship was terrible for me.
The next day, I called up my friend, who I
slept within the original post, and asked if she wanted
to come over and drink and game.

Speaker 4 (01:12:14):
Dude, aimen Dennis Rodman over here grabbing the rebounds to
you the day after. For those of you that didn't
understand that, Michael Jordan, Scotti, Pippen and Andnis Rodman played
for the Bulls during the ninety one season, two ninety
eight season, and Dennis Rodman's only thing that he did
was grab rebounds. Oh, Dennis Rodman's a rebound guy.

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
She said yes, and of course, given what happened last time,
we ended up hooking up again. My ex ended up
coming by the next day to pick up the rest
of her stuff, and boy, let me tell you, she
was not happy to see my friend. She didn't start anything,
but I could tell by the way she was acting
as she was seething. I mean, like she's not the
greatest person. She asked for an open relationship, but kind

(01:12:53):
of messed up.

Speaker 4 (01:12:54):
I think he's hurt and it's his first breakup.

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
Probably.

Speaker 1 (01:12:58):
My friend and I ended up talking more and more
after that, until I eventually officially asked her out and
she said, yes, dude, you were living with your girlfriend.
Give it a minute. We have been together for the
past month, and to say this is a healthier, better
relationship would be an understatement. I have been friends with
her for a long time, and I think we both
always sort of had a thing for each other, but

(01:13:18):
never really acted on it until we were basically handed
the perfect opportunity by my name. But it's the perfect
opportunity for you to join us live every weekday three
PMPSD on Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Just top a profile.

Speaker 4 (01:13:30):
This is mansa op. It seems if you've liked her
all along, why didn't you just get with.

Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
Her in the first place.

Speaker 4 (01:13:35):
Oh think my eggs that the stars aligned she allowed
us to get together.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
Kila Moncomma says he's just rubbing it in. I know
she's not great, but he's acting like a dbag. That's
kind of where I'm at. I'm like, he didn't cheat
for sure, like he absolutely it was her fault for
you know, she opened the relationship although he could have
said no or you should have said no, but like still,
like that was on her and it's totally unfair of
her to be like, oh, you can't sleep with other people,
double standards and then just like focusing on him alone.

(01:14:02):
Great to show your new girl to your ex immediately,
like the day after, and also get into a relationship
with her commediately.

Speaker 4 (01:14:09):
You are right, don't let your girlfriends stop you from
finding your wife. I do agree with that. Do you
agree with that?

Speaker 1 (01:14:13):
No, you don't agree with that? Well, I mean, break
up with her, but don't cheat on her.

Speaker 4 (01:14:17):
But like, yeah, but if you don't see your girlfriend
and your wife, then why are you with her?

Speaker 1 (01:14:20):
I do think that, but like don't don't, just like
wait around. We have a lot more in common and
we are a lot better at communicating with each other,
and so far this whole relationship has been amazing. Thank
you all for the advice on the previous post. I
really appreciate it. And that is the end of that.

Speaker 4 (01:14:35):
All right, let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:14:37):
That was a weird end to that story.

Speaker 4 (01:14:38):
Yeah, college kids am all right? These stupid college kids
just doing that. We're so much more mature than that
and better as people.

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I just found out my fiancé’s been having an affair…and my family knew! - r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP1976

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I just found out my fiancé’s been having an affair…and my family knew! - r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP1976