I never want to talk to my sister AGAIN…after how she behaved at my wedding! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay storytime
podcast hosts.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
We have some great stories coming up.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
I never want to.

Speaker 4 (00:10):
Talk to my sister again after how she behaved at
my wedding. You're in time out, am I? They hope
for not talking to my sister after my wedding.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
I don't think so.

Speaker 4 (00:19):
I thirty six female, now married to my forty one
male husband as of March.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Fourteenth, twenty twenty five. This story starts all the way
back in February twenty twenty two.

Speaker 4 (00:28):
I planned a whole week to ask my only sister,
forty one now, to be my mother in law. I
arranged a special weekend at a spot in hotel with
just the two of us. I had called a local
bakery to make custom donuts that asked her to be
my maid of honor. Oh my gosh, that's so cute.
She was thrilled with the idea of being my maid
of honor. Our wedding was scheduled for two and a

(00:48):
half years from the state because we were planning a
destination wedding and wanted to ensure people could save for
the trip as we just came out of the bid lockdown.
By the way, this comes from a review background twenty
three seventy six on the our slash Okay story Time subreddits.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
And if you want to submit your own stories because
our slash Okay story Time subredits.

Speaker 4 (01:06):
So the planning started a little more than a year
to our wedding date February twenty twenty four. With shopping
for my wedding dress. I had an image of how
I wanted our wedding. All the girls in yellow dresses,
a sentimental color between my fiance and I that's cute,
each matching the colors, but could pick their own dress style.
I asked my two cousins to stand my best friends
call her Shelley and her little sister, plus my sister and.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
My new daughter, my fiance's daughter.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
First, Shelley and I have been growing apart for a
few years, as she wasn't thrilled that I was no
longer living the single life and partying all the time.
I feel this is kind of the normal thing as
we grow older and hopefully get into serious relationships, looking
to get married and start families. My best friend Shelley
from childhood, who now would not answer any call nor
text messages to arrange bridesmaid's dress shopping or acknowledge my existence.

(01:53):
I had a Facebook group chat with the bridesmaids that
I ended up deleting both of them as either of
them as neither of them would engage or answer any
of my attempts to message them over the course of
three weeks. I was left beside myself as when Shelley
did eventually reach back almost a month later, and she
had told me that the reason that she didn't even
respond to my text was because she didn't feel well.

(02:15):
Yet I found out that she was engaging with others
in our friend group during this period. After Shelley and
I decided to go our separate ways, clearly her sister
followed suit. It wasn't devastating to my plans. Now I
was down to my sister, my two cousins, and my
soon to be daughter, so I just wanted to focus
on the next steps. My sister had the idea that
she wanted to wear a tr at my wedding. I

(02:37):
told her I wasn't comfortable with this as she was
in the bridal party and she was more than welcome
to wear one for her wedding, as she wasn't.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Supposed to be a focal point at mine.

Speaker 4 (02:45):
I kind of set the tone on how my sister
was about to start acting during this process. She made
it known that this wasn't going to be about me,
but about her and what she wanted.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Oh love her. Wait, she made it clear that your
wedding was an about you.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
She asked if she could wear a crown like a
little tiara as a bridesmaid. And then I think Opie
is kind of just saying that was the tipping point
to like all the other things that happened that like
made her want.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
To be like the focal point pretty much. We haven't
seen the examples yet. No, no, no, no no.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
My then fiance and I decided together on what the
groomsmen and bridesmaids were going to wear for our wedding.
We picked a color scheme that had a sentimental meaning
to both of us. The groomsmen were going to wear
a light gray suit without jackets, just best as it
was a Caribbean destination and we didn't want them to
be hot. And the bridesmaids were going to wear a
yellow that had meaning to us early in our relationship.

(03:36):
As I said before, they could pick any style of
dress that suited them, just in that color. It came
time to do some dress shopping myself, my mother, my sister,
and my daughter went to two boutiques the first day
and on the second day we went to the third boutique.
In the process of looking at wedding dresses, they had
a whole section for bridesmaid's dresses. At the third boutique,
I started looking and while I've found the color that

(03:59):
we were looking for, a stunning yellow dress. Both my
mom and daughter were ecstatic as it was a beautiful color.
My sister didn't like it. In fact, she told me
I'm not wearing that. I'll wear whatever color I want to.
You'll wear whatever color she tells you to, girl, or
you'll be sitting in the stands.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
You won't be there.

Speaker 5 (04:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
I hope he doesn't have any brides she's got like
her soon to be daughter.

Speaker 5 (04:23):
Dude.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
Well, and she's got a couple cousins, I think. Still,
but still, we gotta find you some new friends, girl.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah, mind you. This is my older sister and maid
of honor.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
This left my daughter, mother and workers at the store
in awe that she would be so rude. It caught
me off guard to the point that I started to
cry and told her that it would be best if
she left the fitting. Yeah, let's just make your daughter
the maid of honor. Yeah, honestly, at that point, that's great,
that's super cute. And then she's like, I don't want
to wear that. You got you to my daughter. You
have to, you have to. I made the rules. I'm

(04:55):
your mom, make the rules. I had told my cousins
and showed them the color in which they love debt,
and they would in fact wear anything, as it was
my wedding and doing this was normal. After Shelley had
stepped down, there was a difference in the number of
groomsmen to bridesmaids, so I decided to ask another cousin
if she would want to stand. She said yes, and
it seemed that everything was back on track. I was

(05:17):
holding my ground with my sister as we all felt
that she was being a little selfish with her refusal.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
Now one year to the wedding.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
Now it's March twenty twenty four, and it's time to
officially book with the travel agent and lock in our
spot for the resort. My husband and I didn't want
the traditional bachelor and bachelorette party. We had planned separate events.
He was going to go paintballing with the guys, and
we were doing a wine tasting and an.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
Airbnb with the ladies. We created a Facebook group.

Speaker 4 (05:44):
For the wedding to ease communications with the travel agent
and updates with any planning and events. We had gotten
an amazing group rate from the travel agent. It was
now time to put deposits down for the trip. My
husband's side was a smooth operation as everyone didn't have
any issues with this, but when I came to my side,
my cousins and bridesmaids had informed me that over the
last two years, neither of them saved a single dollar

(06:06):
as they were hoping that their mother my aunt, would
cover the cost for them as she was well off.
When she told them that that wasn't happening, they would
need to pay for themselves. They reached out to tell
me that they would no longer be attending the wedding,
and my third cousin said that she was planning on
getting pregnant and wouldn't be attending as well because she
would be too close to her due date to travel.

(06:27):
They canceled the bridesmaid's weekend last minute, sticking me with
the entire Airbnb too late to get a refund.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Oh my gosh, this sucks. I think.

Speaker 5 (06:38):
What we do?

Speaker 4 (06:39):
We go to a new country, start over, new friend,
over dude, new whole, new friend group, whole, new family.
We find a family, We go into their house, We
break into their house.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
We say, hey, you looking for a new daughter. They
say yes, because it's the perfect world.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
Yeah, of course, and new family. Yeah, it was like
a great plan. Yeah, I think you should tell Ope that. Yeah,
get her on the phone.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
Ring ring, ring, ohp got a plan for you, and
got a plan for you. We'll take care of everything.
Don't worry, darling.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
This was a low blow, as they knew well in
advance that they haven't saved a cent in over two years.
The plot thickens, though, as them dropping out last minute
wasn't bad news enough. My husband had initially proposed to
me with a ring that was sentimental but wasn't real.
He was in the process of having a custom ring
made and went through my cousins as they worked in

(07:30):
a jewelry shop. Oh no, and I'm like where this
is going. They had found a very stunning, rare vivid
canary diamond in the same color as the bridesmaid's dresses,
and was having this ring custom made along with the
wedding band. In fact, we were purchasing all our jewelry
for the wedding there. He had purchased some one caret
earrings for me on my birthday in August twenty twenty four.

(07:51):
We had been to the jewelry store a few times
to check on the progress of the ring and shop
for a few items. When my cousins dropped out, I
was definitely upset, as I couldn't nderstand why they wouldn't
have saved a dollar and lead me on that they
were coming for two years up to this moment. But
it also worried me as there was a heated argument
about why they let it go so long. Knowing that

(08:12):
they didn't save it, hadn't planned on attending soon.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
The owner of the.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Shop called us to tell us that the ring was ready,
so we went to pick them up. The owner was
always very nice and asked if we were excited that
it was finally getting so close. I told him, of course,
and he asked if my cousins were excited as well
as he knew that.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
They were standing. That's when I told him, no, they're
no longer coming. There wasn't anything said more than that
on the topic.

Speaker 4 (08:36):
Yeah, can you imagine he was just like, oh, okay,
there are no more questions, none's coming, no worries, no worries.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
It's like, no, they dropped out. I didn't invite them.
They just they got it. That's on them.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
Yeah, he was excited to show us the finished ring
and go over the design for the wedding band.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
But that's when all heck breaks loose.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
Oh, my cousin blows up on me, accusing me of
going into her work and that I'm awful for disclosing
their financial state. I literally just went to pick the
ring and size the wedding ban and answered one question.
I never said why they bailed or even said anything
negative about them, and definitely didn't mention any financials to

(09:17):
their boss. This has now caused a rift down my
side of the family, half siding with my cousins and
the other with me. I was accused of being selfish
for expecting people to spend thousands to attend my wedding,
even though they also get a beautiful week long vacation
with three years notice to save. What they failed to
realize is I wasn't mad that they weren't attending, I

(09:39):
get it.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
I was mad that they led.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
Me on for more than two years like they were going,
knowing that the whole time they never saved even a
cent to try and go and planned the dress shopping
and weekend trip. And to remind you, my fiance side
of the family all saved to attend, and they aren't
nearly as well off as my side of the family.
So I'm in a panic now as I have two
who bridesmaids left, one being my thirteen year old daughter

(10:04):
and my sister slash maid of honor, compared to my
husband's side that had five and the sister that doesn't
even want to like wear the bridesmaid's dress. I think
we just go with your daughter, you know, honestly your
husband's five young ones, okay, or just some of the
guys over. Yeah, put them in yellow bubble bff. Yeah bridesmaids.

(10:25):
Oh yeah, honestly, yeah, it just put some of the guys.
You ever said, yeah? I asked one of my good
friends from childhood who was attending if she wanted to stand,
and she was happy to, but my sister saw the
desperation and made her move for control. My maid of
honor slash sister knows that I was stressing about the
whole cousin situation and lack of bridesmaids all of a
sudden and makes.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Her own power move. She now utterly refuses.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
To wear that color as she doesn't think it would
look good on her, and I'm crushed, and out of
fear of losing another bridesmaid, I give in to her demands.
My husband was so angry because the color had meaning
matched the engagement ring and he had put a lot
of thought and work into the groomsman outfits. But he
saw the amount of stress that I was under it

(11:07):
but didn't want to add to it, so he bit
his tongue and let it go. He waited until my
sister found a color that she wanted as a groomsmen
ties were to match their dresses, and he had also
changed the shoes of his grooms went to match the
color my sister wanted.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
This pisses me off. I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
Not only does she just want to wear a different color,
now everyone else has to match her. No, no, absolutely
not no, you have to have stern words with his
sister and be like, girl, what do you think a
bridesmaid is?

Speaker 3 (11:34):
Yeah, you don't get to just pick a dress. The
problem is that opis so like I mean, not unfairly,
but worried about optics of her wedding and like how
to look for her to have you know, only one
bride's maid, which you know, it's a fair worry. I
think a lot of people would want, like, wouldn't want
to have to deal with questions about that stuff, but like,

(11:55):
don't worry about the optics more than having fun and
doing what you want on your wedding day.

Speaker 4 (12:02):
Yeah, in such a special color, especial media and it
imaged the ring and then maybe if they got flowers
that much to do that be so cool? Lah makes
me so mad, Oh my gosh. We had informed everyone
we were going to upgrade to Diamond Club as well
as the kids at the resort. We wanted to experience
the best amenities at the resort as this is our wedding.

(12:23):
My husband's son, seventeen, recently started dating a really nice girl,
also seventeen, and we noticed that it was serious. We
had already planned on getting the kids a separate room
for the trip, as well as we wanted our space
and privacy.

Speaker 3 (12:35):
We extended her an invite only eight months before the wedding.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
Not only did she work and save well being a
full time student to attend, but she also upgraded to
Diamond Club as it was only about three hundred dollars
to do so, showing that it was a very feasible
thing to do if someone truly wanted to. My husband's
entire side upgraded as they want to be in the
same area as us and also experience here's the better

(13:00):
amenities of the resort. Mind you, my husband's side of
the family is not nearly as well off as my side,
but they felt with all the notice for the trip
it wouldn't be a problem. But not my sister lash
mother in law, no way, mind you. She's forty one,
lives at home with my mom. She has no kids,
no pets, no debt, and frequently takes lavish trips several

(13:21):
times a year and makes well over one hundred k,
including booking a week long retreat a few days after
we returned from this trip to a spa for about
three thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (13:32):
Oh wow.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
We arrived at the resort on a Monday with his
family and my side arrived on the Tuesday, and we
had made arrangements to have a welcome dinner with everyone
at the resort. I sat next to my sister who
was complaining about her awful experience at check in. I
had told her that if she had upgraded to Diamond Club,
there was a different experience, as there was a lounge
they drove you to and had full bar and food

(13:54):
waiting while they dropped your bags off to your room.
It was a very different experience than waiting in line
to check in during March break. This set her off
on what would be a week of selfish behavior. She
had thrown in my face that we were getting a
kickback from the travel agent for booking such a large party,
and that's the only reason that we got an upgrade.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
I showed her kickback or not we would have upgraded.

Speaker 4 (14:15):
Also, would she not be like included or was it
just then that got the little discount on I don't know.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
I'm not quite sure. I don't know either.

Speaker 4 (14:22):
The kickback is about thirty five hundred dollars and the
total cost of our trip with two diamond club rooms,
and the wedding was well over twenty three hundred dollars
that him and I paid for a loan, not that
it's even relevant to how she was acting in the
beginning of her bad behavior.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
I told her the idea that we wouldn't have upgraded
without that was nonsense.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
My now husband is an engineer and truly brilliant and
successful man. He has taken me on a few trips,
and I remember our first trip together to Vegas. He
insisted on renting a Corvette convertible. When we went to Cuba,
he went into upgrade to a suite and I wasn't sure,
and he told me no worries, he would cover the cost.
We had a two story suite with a private hot
tub and ocean view. We flew to Cancun for Christmas

(15:02):
twenty twenty four and he flew us business class and
upgraded our room again. Even the engagement ring that he
made was well over fifteen K without the wedding man,
and it's so sad that though dresses so much.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
Ah, that sucks.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Man.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
I'll literally fight someone over that fight fight I physically
throw down, mind you. I also make very good money
and usually pay him my have but he always spoils
me with the extras. So to insinuate that we wouldn't
have upgraded is utter nonsense because that's the way my
hobby likes to travel. Plus, the upgrade was only three
hundred bucks and was well worth it, as my hobby

(15:38):
pointed out that he drank all the John Julio on
the whole resort with his groomsmen. The following morning, my
sister found us at the Diamond Club beach with the
rest of the wedding party. She pulled me aside and
said she was feeling better. I regret even telling her
about the kickbag if she was going to try and
throw it in my face. My sister has no history
of mental illness or depression or anything along lines. She

(16:00):
looks me straight in the face two days before my
wedding and tells me that she's self harming, and she
also told me that she couldn't be excited for my
next big steps, being married or having kids and starting
a family. I told her that this is utterly ridiculous,
as we are all here for a good time, but
she can go to her section of the resort because
I'm not letting her ruin this trip.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
Whoa, whoa. Very mixed feelings.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
Weird interaction there, weird weird interaction. Weird because on one hand,
I'm like, well, how can we confirm that she's like
not being not telling the truth? Yeah, and if she's
telling the truth, then like, well, I don't know, go
like suck it, walk it off that On the other
side of the resort, can you just be okay?

Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah Jesus oh man. But one of them is not great.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
Yeah, there's like two outcomes in this situation and they're
both possibly in the wrong time. Yeah, I'm gonna move
on from that. That evening, we had an all white
party at one of the restaurants for the wedding group.
My sister was at my table with her boyfriend and
the best man and his girlfriend, and my mother with

(17:10):
my now husband. My sister sat there with her arms
crossed while the rest of us all talked and laughed
and enjoyed ourselves, especially my mom.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
Because when my husband referred to her as mom, she
was beaming.

Speaker 4 (17:20):
I tried to get my sister to engage by asking
her to take a picture of me and my husband, and.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Man, it looks good. I love someone. I think we
both would have passed away, to the.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
Point that other people at the dinner started asking me,
what's wrong with your sister. I couldn't even give them
a real answer and just played it off because I'm
not sure if it was jealousy or what. I had
a few other things to do for the wedding. Guest
cars with bottles of sand from the beach with personalized
notes is so thoughtful. My maid of honor didn't help
with anything. In fact, she revealed the fact that she

(17:54):
did nothing to help as my maid of honor with
anything in the entire process. In fact, my husband helped
me with every maid of honor duty because she would
literally pick a fight any time I asked for any
help planning.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, that's when you just go like, Okay, you're just
not the made of honor anymore, not the made of honor.
Don't get to stand.

Speaker 4 (18:11):
You're making it really difficult, so you don't get that
job anymore.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah, bye bye. She even dropped her dress off to
me to steam for the wedding.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
No, I'm not a freaking laundry mat. And then that's
when you get the yellow dress. I'm not the cleaners
put the yellow dress in the garment bag and be like,
all right, it's all ready for you.

Speaker 3 (18:33):
And she's like, I actually I burned the other dress.
She goes, this is every dress, so you go. Oh,
I'm I don't know what happened. I must have died
it in the wash. Yeah, sorry, oh sorry, gosh oh man.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
His cup was getting full, as he had bitten his
tongue many times during this whole process.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
The morning of the wedding and we are getting ready
in my mother in law's room.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
My sister was with me at my final dress fitting,
which the tailor at the dress store showed my sister
how to do up my bustle for the train in
my dress. My sister didn't bother to listen, take notes, picture,
or our video, really any effort.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
She had no clue how to do it up.

Speaker 4 (19:12):
Fortunately, my mom and mother in law and bride'smaids worked
it out, Thank goodness.

Speaker 3 (19:17):
As I was finally losing all patients with my sister.

Speaker 4 (19:21):
The wedding was perfect, my husband was perfect, the weather
was perfect, and everything was perfect. It wasn't until we
got back home that my husband mentioned my sister's speech
that I didn't really pick up on until I rewatched
it at home. Oh no, He and several guests noticed
that her speech was very self oriented and didn't welcome
my husband or his kids into our family, and was

(19:43):
very much more about her as she tried to make
everything about her in one way or another. My husband
didn't say anything then, because the day wasn't about her,
it was about us and our love. Fortunately, his best
man gave an amazing speech along with both of our mothers.
Sister and I's relationship has been damaged beyond repair from.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
The whole ordeal and probably won't ever fully recover. I
mean probably would have been okay, yeah, if we hadn't
made her the maid of honor, like honestly, after the
whole thing with the crown and her trying to get
her away with the dress color, I would have been like, yeah, okay,
I'm gonna go with my daughter. Yeah, she's cool, she

(20:23):
listens to me long honor. Sorry, Yeah, And then she
could come to the wedding and everything would be chill, yeah,
or she could even be a bridesman, or she just
don't listen to her.

Speaker 5 (20:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (20:34):
She probably would try to find some sort of way
to like get attention, but at least she wouldn't have
like the attention that it made of honor gets Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
Yeah, that's usually pretty Yeah. I don't want to give
her that type of attention. No, no, no, exactly exactly.

Speaker 4 (20:46):
To the point that my husband and I went to
talk to a therapist to get an outside perspective.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
He basically labeled her an insane.

Speaker 4 (20:53):
Self absorbed person, a woman who has a lot of
growing up to do. My husband I wanted to confront her,
as he justifiably should, but for the sake of not
adding stress onto me, he bit.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
His tongue again. His only request is distanced from her,
and I fully agree.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
There's more to add on an update, but I'll end
this year and hopefully Charlotte reads this tale.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
Ps.

Speaker 4 (21:18):
My husband was also the best maid of honor I
could have asked for.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
Oh wait, we have a little update. Wait a second,
big news alert? Big got an updates? What? Oh? Big news?

Speaker 4 (21:27):
Then on to the update we go. It had been
nearly eight weeks since we returned from the wedding. My
sister and I had a falling out after we got
home as we found out that our estranged father had
passed away. Whoa big news?

Speaker 3 (21:40):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (21:40):
He abandoned us when we were children, and neither her
nor I had spoken to him in any fashion in
over a decade. In fact, I've never even received a
single present, Birthday or Christmas, or even a card from
him in my entire life. My husband and I only
truly have one regret in our wedding, and that was
that we changed the theme and color.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
Due to my sisters. Yeah. Other than that, married life
has been great.

Speaker 4 (22:03):
We are closer than ever and I couldn't be happier
with my husband, my kiddos, and the direction of our lives.
His mother, my mother, and most of his family and
groomsmen feel that my sister is hugely jealous younger sister
getting married first can cause some type of feelings. My
sister was engaged before, but the guy was kind of
a bum, couldn't hold a job, she had to buy

(22:25):
her own engagement ring, and she eventually left him because
he was a heavy drinker and wouldn't get help. My
husband has all reason to hold a grudge against her
because he saw the additional stress that she caused.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
My now husband.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
When he first met my sister, cooked his dinner and
tried his best to get off on a good foot
with her. She judged him from day one before knowing him.
He's a well built, tall, brown and handsome man. He
has a lot of tattoos, all classy and with much
thought and reading. She labeled him a thug, though, and
he's never been in trouble. I'm pretty sure he was

(22:58):
never suspended from school. Who's a graduated engineer that was
a chef before that.

Speaker 3 (23:03):
I consider myself lucky. He's the best cook I've ever met.

Speaker 4 (23:06):
And he's extremely handy, as he has built the majority
of our house with his own two hands. That's beautiful.
I have no new thoughts, no new thoughts. There is
a little bit more to take a bit. Let's take
her home.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Let's take it home.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
Yeah, just the sister, Man's just sister, just boo boo.
Just seems like she's just not happy with how her
life is gone. Yeah, she needs to stand out. Is
not happy that someone else is happy, especially her younger sister. Yeah,
there's always like a dynamic there and it's.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Just just boo. Man, Just be happy for your freaky sister.
We're yellow so hard one.

Speaker 4 (23:41):
Also, I don't hold any grudges with my cousins. My
husband is a good Christian man and has told me
to forgive and move on, to not hold on to
those feelings, as they just spoil other great things that
we have going on. Yet I can't say that I've
forgiven my sister yet, and if the day comes where
I can forgive her, I will never forget, and I
know our relationship will never be the same. He still

(24:03):
wants to confront her and set the boundaries moving forward,
but respects my wishes on just leaving it as a
no contact situation for now. Am I the a hole
for not speaking to my sister after all of this?

Speaker 3 (24:16):
What ourar Nah? No ah, No, I think you could
try and figure it out maybe, but give it some time.
She's causing a mess. Yeah, maybe when she gets her
life in a little bit of a better place. But
right now, yeah, just a mess. But that is the
end of that story. I posted a picture of my

(24:38):
nephew on social media without my brother's permission. Well that's
not COO, ask permission, kids. Ah. My brother twenty five
male I'll call him Tom, and I twenty six female,
have never really been close, even though we were a
year and two months apart from each other. I was
born first, but he usually questioned my authority when I

(24:59):
was the one who in charge of keeping him in
check when we were alone or going pretty much anywhere
by ourselves. We went to school together, and most people
didn't even know we were siblings until one of us
said something since we didn't exactly look click each other,
though we do share the same parents. Someone even had
mentioned before that we looked like a cute couple, and

(25:21):
I get city you No, he's my brother. Ever since
we were kids, Tom's always been the trouble maker and
the one who never takes advice given to him. This
will be important for later, by the way. This comes
from Sketchy Girl on the r slash Charlotte Dobray YouTube.

(25:42):
Separated it and if you want to sell your own
stories on the r slash show get a story. Tom
separated it. Flash four It to our early adult years
and Tom gets a girlfriend. I'll call her Kai since
that's the name she changed it to you and she
deserves the fiery pits for what she did. Who is
well crazy. Granted Tom's girlfriends were always crazy up until
this one, but she was really off her rocker. You

(26:05):
and me both girl. To put it into some retrospect.
The first words out of her mouth when I met
her for the very first time were I haven't slept
in three days, you and me both girl.

Speaker 6 (26:16):
I ended up talking to Tom and saying she was
a bit loony, since no sane person would just blurt
that out for a first impression, But he brushed me off,
saying that's just how she is.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
Leave her alone, so I let it be. A few
months later, I ended up moving out of the house
to try and make it on my own with my boyfriend.
Now ex Ooh, there's a story there, and Tom was
moved to the basement of the home with Kai moved
in as well. About six months went by after I
moved out and I get a call from my mother.
She tells me Tom got married and he didn't tell

(26:48):
anyone about it. She ended up hearing from a friend
of a friend who heard him talking about it as
his job and decided to douse him digging. They had
a marriage license hidden in a drawer and it was
from months prior they went to the court house and
got married. I was astounded and couldn't believe he had
the audacity to keep it a secret out of a
fear of our mother's wrath. Kai was living under the

(27:08):
roof with him in the basement, and neither of them
thought to tell our parents about their big decision the
whole time. Anyway, my mother punted them both out since
they have been laid on rent and wouldn't do any chores.
Since Kai was clinically frail, she was clinically frail. I
feel like there's got to be a better medical diagnosis
than clinically frail clinically skinny. The doctor diagnoster is skinney

(27:34):
skinny in her words, where her back was always hurting,
or she was always six so she couldn't work, etc.
She had to take medications to function as a normal person,
and there were a lot of them. After they were
moved out, I had to come to help my mother
clean up their vacated living space and it was absolutely disgusting.
I wanted to buy myself a hazmat suit to clean it,

(27:54):
and needed to take a number of breaks because it
was a lot. Fast forward about a year later, Ki
and Tom are expecting congrats. I was happy for them
and growing their family, but I was worried for the child.
At the same time. They were both not really parental material,
especially Kai and she was the one who was going
to be carrying the baby. All I could do was
hope this one was going to stay, since apparently she

(28:16):
had eight miscarriages in the past before even meeting my
brother Tom. A month goes by after they tell me,
and I get a call from Kai saying that Tom
is mistreating her and all this horrible stuff. But I
know my brother. Wait, no, whoa She's said all this
stuff and he oh, He's like, I'm not going to
look into that.

Speaker 5 (28:32):
That's not my brother.

Speaker 4 (28:33):
She's like, nah, I know him, but do you know
how he is in relationships behind closed doors?

Speaker 3 (28:39):
So I think, oh, p he's a little bit judgy.
He's not that type. But I take her story and
keep it in mind since she lies a lot to
get attention. Only a week after that, everything exploded and
all heck broke loose. Kai and Tom were apparently in
an open marriage. She slept with someone and didn't have
them wear protection, even though she had told Tom that
they did, and it was said during a fight that

(28:59):
the baby he might not even be his to begin with.
Tom was upset and Kai was trying to drag his
name in the mud. After having her lies found out,
She and him got a divorce and she was still
pregnant with the child when it was finalized, but a
paternity test was requested when the child was born. During
the separation, Kai started spreading misinformation and attempted to take
him to court for his towards her. I was fuming,

(29:22):
so I defended Tom in her comments and even made
my own post about what she said, stating that she
had no right to say things like that about my brother.
Well are they true? Does she have proof?

Speaker 4 (29:33):
Like?

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Are you just like? No way?

Speaker 2 (29:35):
That's what I'm wondering.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
She didn't respond and ended up straight up blocking me
since I was no longer on her side. Good riddance.
Then the time came for the baby to be born.
I don't know the full details of what occurred, but
he was placed into foster care. While later Kai got
the DNA test and he was Tom's son. We were
all relieved and accepted him into the family when the
news came back. Wait, what were you like? Mm, Tom,

(29:59):
If that's not your bit, You're not gonna be in
our family now?

Speaker 5 (30:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:03):
What what?

Speaker 4 (30:04):
What?

Speaker 3 (30:05):
He's currently being taken care of by some family friends
who will be adopting him when the time finally comes
around later this year, and I did think for a
moment they were talking about Tom, but I believe they're
talking about the baby. Then comes the true meaning of
my post. I saw my nephew for the first time
last year and got to get some pictures of him
and I together. He has fallen asleep on my chest
while I held him, and his face was turned away

(30:26):
from the camera, so it wasn't violating any of the
rules with the agency if I was to post it.
I was given permission to post my proud aunti pictures
to Facebook by the foster parents, and so I did.
Tom saw them and had then demand I had them
taken down. He patronized me and called me names, saying
that I shouldn't be posting pictures of his son online
because it can hurt his chances of being a real

(30:47):
father in Yadagada. At this time, his son was only
about four months old, and Tom hasn't made any effort
to see him or acknowledge his birth. He didn't even
visit Kai in the hospital while she was in labor,
so he was practically irresponsible. And my eyes, why were
you so gung about him? Like there's no way that
he could have possibly, you know, been the bad guy

(31:07):
in the relationship. Like OPI was like, there's no way
that Tom could have done anything wrong, And now he's
telling us that he's like this kind of absentee parent. Yeah,
Tom is the brother. Tom is Opie's brother who got
this girl pregnant. I'm confused about that line that said,
like accepting him into the family. Then I don't get that. Oh, guys,

(31:28):
accepting the baby in the family, not Tom. Oh, I
just got that accepting the baby, and I totally was
thinking about Tom too. I was worded that. I was like,
that doesn't make get any sense, accepting the baby in
the family. Oh, okay, okay, but yeah, oh, he's like
going really back and forth about her brother. Yeah, maybe
she's responsible. And then also, there's no way that he

(31:48):
could have done any of this. He didn't even visit
Kai in the hospital while she was labor, so he
was practically irresponsible in my eyes. I know he isn't
financially stable enough to raise his son on his own,
nor does he have the most safe of household since
he lives in filth, but he had to think that
someone was at least going to post something about his son.
My mother was actually the first to post a picture
of him as her first grandchild, so why wasn't he

(32:09):
going after her about pictures anyway? After I refused, he
ghosted me. My then half sister, I'll call her Tia
reposted the picture of my mother holding Tom's son, saying,
this is the only picture I have of him. But yay,
I'm an auntie. I wanted to wait after Tom was
able to get custody, but oh well, so I had
a good chat with her. I told her that she
should either delete her post or edit it to cut

(32:29):
out the custody part, because it violates the rules of
the agency that Tom's son is under. If he wanted
any of his rights to make a difference in being
able to see him or even get the custody, he
and everyone else has to follow these rules or it
will be over for him. Tia went off on me,
saying that if I can post about my nephew, then
she can too. I argued that I have a right
to post about my nephew because I am his full

(32:50):
blooded auntie and she was only half related to us.
I even had permission from the foster parents and made
sure that I didn't post his face, so I didn't
see why there would be an issue. Tia was fuming
at me and calling me names. She probably has undiagnosed
bipolar if I'm gonna be honest, and demanded that I
should take the picture down because it was hurting our
brother too, but I kept refusing. I then told her

(33:10):
the reason you only had the one picture of our
nephew is because you took it as a screenshot from
my mother's post. Tom hasn't made any effort to see him.
I know he doesn't have the contact information of the
foster parents for safety reasons, but he still could have
had visits with an Asian present, which he hasn't done.
So get off drye horse because you have no power here.
Then she blocked me too. Ever, since then, Tom and
our half sister Tia have been mad at me. That

(33:32):
was nearly a year ago. Now it's crazy that Tom
is okay with Tia posting Yeah. I wonder if he
is Yeah, it seems I wonder if they about it.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
I still have that picture of my nephew and I
up and when I scroll and see it, I'm reminded
of the reason my own brother won't talk to me
much anymore. Maybe I could have been a bit nicer,
but I was just done with the mess of the situation.
Tom put himself in So am I the ale for
posting a picture of my nephew on Facebook without my
brother's permit? And there is an update. Angela Connolly says,

(34:03):
everyone sucks here. That's where I'm at. Honestly, I honestly
think that. I mean, like, Tom obviously sucks, but I
think Ope's being a little bit sucky about this whole
situation too.

Speaker 6 (34:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:12):
I feel like he's, like, you know, technically playing by
the rules. But if Tom is like, Okay, can you
like not do that for my own sake, then she
should be considerate of that and be like, you know what,
You're so right, Let's like get this finalized and then
we can figure that out.

Speaker 3 (34:27):
Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 4 (34:28):
It just feels like this doesn't need to be as
big of a problem as it is at all.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yeah, Josh says, how does Ope even know that Tom
hasn't made any effort to see the baby? I don't know.
I think Op's making a lot of assumptions. Yeah, the
picture stuff get permission from everyone. I deleted the photo.
After reading the comments and coming to the conclusion that
I was in the wrong, I decided to just delete
the photo I had posted from last February. I came
to realize that my family has a problem with privacy

(34:53):
since I grew up with my grandparents posting about life
events with my cousins, their nieces and nephews and anyone
else on Facebook, and I shouldn't have assumed that it
would be okay for me to take part in that,
even with the permission I got from the foster parents.
In the moment, I was happy about being an aunt
to the most precious of little boys, but he was
selfish of me since I didn't think of the questions

(35:14):
it would raise through mutual friends about my brother becoming
a father. It could have heard his reputation at the time,
and I should have waited until everything was finalized before
taking any action. There is a little bit left to
this story, any final thoughts.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
I think deleting the photo was probably a good bay
to go, and especially if you have privacy issues, especially.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
With kids on social media.

Speaker 4 (35:33):
That's just in itself like a touchy subject and kind
of like you know, so it makes.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
Sense that people wouldn't want them on their so just
don't put them on theirs.

Speaker 4 (35:42):
Okay, we not on those media. It's okay, it's fine.
Just tell people in real life or on text.

Speaker 3 (35:49):
Yes, yeah, I agree, good with everything he said, but
there's a little bit left to this story. In the end,
I regret having made the mistake and caused such a
rift in my relationship with him. I believe that's in
it's the foster parents said final say. I didn't have
to listen to my brother and my half sister, but
I now understand that I should have been more mindful
since it was his child. After all, I have no

(36:09):
ill will towards my brother, and I didn't mean to
hurt him in all this time having the picture up,
so an apology to him would have to be in order.
Thank you guys for helping me come to this realization.
I will accept my a hoole judgment and try my
best to be more mindful of others in the future.
And folks, that's the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

Speaker 5 (36:27):
Here.

Speaker 7 (36:27):
We're going to get back to the stories. But here's
three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
My son's dad just moved in with his new girlfriend.
But she really doesn't like his kids.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
Oh, that seems like an eel breaker.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
My thirty two five year old son's dad, Jacob thirty four,
moved in with his girlfriend, Anna thirty five, over a
year ago, and I found out that she does not
like children. I don't really know this one. She refuses
to acknowledge me in any capacity. I'm not allowed in
their home and she does everything she can to avoid me.
I have let this slide because there was some overlap
between her and I. By the way, this comes from

(36:59):
deleted on the r slash too Hot Take subreddit, and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay Storytime subrette and send it in. So,
Jacob and I have been toying with the idea of
getting back together when they met. After they made it official,
him and I failed to enforce boundaries. While we never
slept together, we definitely had one night where things got
too close. He told her about it. She was upset,

(37:19):
but they decided to stay together and work on it.
She moved in with him about five months later. I'm
probably a bit naive, but I didn't really realize that
she was harboring negative feelings towards me. At first, when
my son would speak positively about her, I would text
her to tell her the good things that he was saying.
I would thank her for being so sweet to him.
In retrospect, I'm not really sure that she responded to
those messages. I started getting the vibe that she was

(37:41):
really unhappy. When I would FaceTime my son, either she
would leave the room or Jacob would take my son
into another room and close the door. I started noticing
that she seemed to be avoiding me in situations where
we would normally cross paths. I asked Jacob about this,
and he kind of played it off. He said that
she doesn't really want to talk to me, but it's
not a huge deal. I tried to respect her, but
understanding that it must be difficult. Then one night, my

(38:03):
son told me that he felt nervous when I called
because Anna doesn't like me and she says mean things
about me. Since then, I've been trying to get some
forward momentum on actually working on the problem that she
has with me. I tried texting her a long apology.
If I'm honest, I probably focus too much on trying
to get her to understand where I was mentally when
we betrayed her trust. Although I personally don't really know her,

(38:25):
I can understand how a text message focusing on excusing
my behavior would be received poorly. She was pretty livid
about it. I continued trying to give them space, even
though I do find it very frustrating. I've been trying
to separate my personal hurt from what actually affects my son.
I know that he struggles with it, but I also
see where she puts in the effort. I try to
focus on the good things because so much feels like

(38:47):
it's out.

Speaker 5 (38:47):
Of my control.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
Anyways, one day, she asked to have my son on
a day that he would normally be at his grandma's.
His sister was coming to town, and she wanted my
son to meet her nieces and nephews. This made me
feel really emotional because it made me feel like she
loves and appreciates.

Speaker 5 (39:02):
Him as an individual and not just as a byproduct
of his father.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
I reached out two weeks later to thank her and
to tell her how much it means to me. She
responded a couple of days after, saying that we should
all get together and talk. Felt really grateful and hopeful
today was the day and we all make it together
to talk. She came in pretty hot, having issues with
things that I never would have anticipated, one of which
seemed to be that she feels like I am pressuring
her to have a relationship with my son. She made

(39:27):
it very clear that she was there for Jacob and
no one else. She kept saying that we can't force
her to have a relationship with my son because it's
pushing them farther apart. She said that she's trying to
learn to love him because she loves Jacob. She keeps
dismissing my son's feelings by saying that she has high
standards and.

Speaker 5 (39:45):
He's not used to rules.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
When we were leaving at the end, she asked me
if I had anything I needed to say. I kind
of said it like a joke, but I said, I'm
just wondering how you don't love my son because he's
just so lovable. So her response to that was that
she doesn't like people and that kids are just pe
who have no consideration for anyone else. I'm not really
good at processing things in real time, so as then
I continued, I feel more and more sad. I hate

(40:08):
the idea that the other half of my son's life
is being spent with someone who sees him as a chore.

Speaker 5 (40:14):
I know that he can sense it.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
He's used to being daddy's boy, but over the last
few months he is sad when he.

Speaker 5 (40:19):
Has to go to his dad's house.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
He says it's just because he loves me more and
feels closer to me. I feel like I am now
realizing that it's because he doesn't feel wanted over there.
So Jacob and I are the father talked on the
phone after Anna went to Spleep and I expressed my concerns.
I asked him how it doesn't hurt him that our
son is so desperately seeking the approval of somebody who.

Speaker 5 (40:39):
Does not like him. He says it does make him sad,
but they are trying to work on it.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
I just don't really think that this is something you
can work on in a relationship, no matter how badly
she wants to be who Jacob needs her to be.
If she doesn't like children, that's not something that just
goes away. And as he gets older, he's going to
continue to push boundaries. And I'm just not sure she
has the temperament for it. It's also not really my place,
but I just feel so worried and sad.

Speaker 5 (41:03):
What do I do? Is there anything I can do?
Sorry for the long post.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
I felt the backstory was important and we haven't added
coming up.

Speaker 5 (41:09):
I really don't know.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
How to use read it, so I'm sorry if I'm
doing this wrong. I wasn't really expecting to get eaten
alive in the comments. Well, here are some clarifications. I'm
not incessantly texting her In the beginning. I thought sharing
the positive things my son shared would be affirming, but
I noticed that she didn't seem so keen on it,
so I stopped. I didn't text her again until my
son said that she was talking badly about me.

Speaker 5 (41:30):
I had been.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
Noticing some bad tension for a while and had been
bringing it up to Jacob. I said that her son
was eventually going to notice and it would impact him.
He kept telling me they were working on it. I
called his dad and of course found out that he
hadn't talked.

Speaker 5 (41:44):
To her about it at all.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
The dad hasn't done anything.

Speaker 5 (41:47):
He literally hasn't gone yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
To his man is a noodle spine.

Speaker 5 (41:53):
I told him, got any people.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
That he needed to talk to her and come to
me with a plan by the next.

Speaker 5 (41:59):
Week or I would be reducing time.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
He told me that she didn't receive this well and
was unwilling to work on changing anything because she says
she never speaks negatively about me around him.

Speaker 5 (42:09):
I told him he needed to talk.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
To her and come to me with the plan by
next week or I would be reducing time, reducing the custody.
He told me that she didn't receive this well and
was unwilling to work on changing anything because she says
she never speaks negatively about me around him. I obviously
don't believe my son is lying. This was when I
decided to reach out directly and apologize to her again.
First time was immediately after it happened. She didn't receive

(42:32):
it well, and in retrospect, I can recognize that trying
to get her to understand my POV was unlikely to
be productive. I've been trying to make sure I am
only reacting to things that affect my son and not
to things that may personally offend me.

Speaker 5 (42:44):
I want to be fair and reasonable.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
I was hoping we could work on it together to
make the environment less tense for my son. My son
hasn't mentioned it again, so I was hoping that it
got better.

Speaker 5 (42:53):
His dad's only solution was to have her.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
Hand my son the phone when I called. My son
doesn't really say bad things about her.

Speaker 5 (43:01):
Often.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
He mostly speaks positively, which is why I haven't been
pushing harder for a change or to reduce time. She's
been spending a lot more time doing activities with him,
so I've been feeling so grateful that she's taking the
time to make him a priority. I keep seeing people
say that she's not his step bomb, but they live together.
She is making house rules for him to abide by.
I want to be supportive of them building a bond.

Speaker 5 (43:23):
I have felt like.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
I don't want her to be discouraged by the concerns
that came up, so I texted her last week to
tell her I could see that she's really.

Speaker 5 (43:30):
Trying and I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
She responded that we should meet in chat, and I
kind of thought that I cracked the code, lol.

Speaker 5 (43:36):
I was not anticipating her negative energy. To be honest, now,
my son doesn't really say bad things about her.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
I do feel like I have been seeing changes in
his behavior not wanting to go to his dad's house.
Is new favoring me so blatantly, is new him exhibiting
a lot of anxiety at night. He doesn't want me
to leave him alone. He says he feels alone and
at night it's scary. I finally got us in with
a play therapist. We had one session, and I have
been hoping that this will uncover if there's underlying issues
I'm unaware of, and if not, just give him the

(44:04):
tools that he needs to cope. I just found out
last night that she doesn't like kids. I fear that
she had a cold and strict temperament, but also didn't
really think that I would be the best judge of
for character considering the circumstances. Seeing how she really feels
about my son is crystallizing a lot of my son's
behavior change. I was hoping the effort I was seeing
was coming from a genuine place of wanting what is
best for the child in the situation. She made it

(44:26):
very clear, however, that it is only about Jacob. I
told her that the relationship doesn't exist in a vacuum.

Speaker 5 (44:32):
She got upset and her and Jacob started arguing.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
I honestly started having trouble tracking the conversation at that point,
and it went off the rails for a bit. In general,
I struggle to trust my perspective on things. I want
to be sure I'm not overreacting or being unfair. Anyways,
I need to get my son ready for the day.
I will check back in later. We have an updates.
So this subreddit is brutal. I have never written on

(44:55):
Reddit before, but I love the podcast so thought I
would try. The advice I get from people in my
life is of course biased. Things with my kids. Dad
changed shortly after he was brought home from the Nakhu.
I found on a lot of things that made me
realize he isn't who I thought at the time. I
vowed to myself that I would never let my feelings
about things he has done to me dictate the decisions

(45:16):
I made for my child.

Speaker 5 (45:17):
I would say, bad partner, good dad.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
I guess I'm not doing a very good job at
that because maybe I'm overcompensating by being too forgiving. But anyways,
I'm trying. I don't want the decisions I make for
my son to be clouded by my personal hurt and rage.
At the end of all of this the point really
got lost, and I found that I am primarily just
trying to stand up for myself. I don't believe I
am beyond reproach, But I also don't think.

Speaker 5 (45:40):
A lot of the responses here were fair.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
In regards to the overlap everyone was referencing, I didn't
give details because I didn't think that they were relevant.
I thought the context was important in understanding. My perspective
may not be accurate because I do not know her
at all. For what I have felt is a valid reason.
I don't know how to take the weight of words
of a five year old and a man and known
to be a habitual liar, because I literally know nothing

(46:03):
about her. Before this weekend, I had never even seen
her in person. We had only talked on the phone once,
and it was her asking me what happened the cheating.
She knows is that it was a BackRub and he
got too handsy when she met him. I'm pretty sure
he told her that I was sappik When she called me,
she did say if I was so starved for touch,
I should find a girlfriend haha. The truth is that

(46:23):
Jacob was going on for months saying he wanted to
try our relationship again. He was telling me he wanted
to have another child together. We had started regularly doing
family time, which made my son so happy. I knew
he was also casually dating, but we weren't actually together
or anything, so I wasn't concerned. After a while, I
started considering trying again for the sake of my son.

(46:45):
The family time is fun and I enjoyed seeing my
son so happy. I told Jake that we could try,
but we'd have to go to therapy. In that conversation,
he told me he met somebody that he could see
a future with. I should have completely cut him off
at that moment, but I did not yet. I think
Opie's Opie's letting him get away with it. We continue
doing family time and he continued to come over during

(47:06):
the day when I was coming home just to hang out.
He would try to be affectionate and hold my hand
or play with my hair, and I would tell him
to stop. He would then talk about feeling confused and
tell me he loves me. Right after he found someone
he sees the future with. He came over to my
birthday because my son was so sick. He brought over dinner,
edibles and booze.

Speaker 5 (47:25):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
I don't drink, but I did have an edible after
my son went to sleep. He was saying I shouldn't
be so stressed out on my birthday. He offered me
a BackRub broh No, which we did regularly before. He
told me about the girl he saw a future with.
At first I said no, but eventually I convinced myself
that it wasn't that big of a deal. He got
really weird and aggressive. He then tried getting on top
of me and I told him to stop. Before he

(47:47):
finally got off, I was living and could not stop crying.
Then he started crying again and again and started talking
about being so confused because he loves me. I made
him leave, but the next day he came back early
in the morning to bring me breakfast in bed. I
made him leave again and refuse to speak to him.
I just did not know what to say. Call me
a few days later from outside her parents' house, crying

(48:08):
and telling me that he was in love with her.
He said that she can never know what we did together.
I effing hate this man. I told him that if
he really loved her, he wouldn't start this relationship on
a lie. A few days after that, she calls me.
I felt cornered. I didn't know what to say, and
I agreed with his aforementioned lie. I know that from
through her point of view, I am the affair partner,

(48:30):
but it just didn't feel like that. The comment section, though,
has made it pretty clear that my perspective on my
own innocence isn't accurate. I felt like, if she could
forgive him, then I don't understand why she can't forgive me.
In terms of the custody, we do have a parenting plan.
We share sixty forty I have sixty percent. In terms
of the phone call, I didn't strategically wait until she
was sleeping to voice my concerns. He called to debrief

(48:52):
and I said that the way she spoke about my
son worried me. This man is an effing weirdo, and
started talking about how it worries him too, and that
I should call and ask his best friend because he
would tell me that he has noticed it too. I'm
obviously not going to do that. It's weird and irrelevant
to me. He keeps saying he's not stupid and he
sees the same potential issues, but they are working on
it and that if he doesn't see any improvement, he

(49:14):
wait up, He's never ended.

Speaker 5 (49:16):
A single relationship. He just cheats.

Speaker 1 (49:18):
In terms of a text, people keep saying I'm stalking her.

Speaker 5 (49:21):
I am not.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
There have been five total texts over a year. The
first apology was right after she called me. I said
I was sorry and that nothing like that would ever
happen again because we were no longer going to socialize
outside of phone calls about her son. And again, Opie, like,
is so totally ten million percent within a right to
be like he did this to me, I'm a victim
in this, in this situation, Like.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
How much does this? Does she know that that is
the case? Like has she been educated on this?

Speaker 5 (49:47):
I think she doesn't know.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
So OPI agreed to do the lie that she's Jacob.

Speaker 5 (49:53):
One, yeah, so she she doesn't know.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Two because my son had said nice things and I
thought it would just be nice to he was saying
nice stuff. Then I started noticing tension, so I stopped
until I found out that she was talking badly about
me in front of my son. I don't know how
she felt so strongly about me because I hadn't had
communication with Jacob by anything.

Speaker 5 (50:13):
Outside of our son.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
Since I promised her that I was backing off a
year prior, I was never under the impression that she
was purposely trying to alienate me for my son. I
just thought her anger was so loud we couldn't hide
it from me. I know I'm infected. I'm infected, geez.
I was hoping that apologizing again and opening the door
for conversation would fix the issue.

Speaker 5 (50:33):
The last one was last week.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
I felt like I was seeing a lot of positive
efforts because the way my son was talking about her
had change. I just wanted to thank her for being
so kind to him, and I also wanted to apologize
that my last text upset her so much. Jake told
me it made her mad. She didn't respond this time.
She texted me back and said that we should meet up.
So on the meeting, she was angry about things that
I didn't anticipate. She said I lied about what's happening

(50:57):
when she called me.

Speaker 5 (50:58):
That is true.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
I don't know what part she thinks is a lie,
but I was definitely dishonest. She thinks it's inappropriate that
I have a relationship with Jake's mom. It has been
rocky but even periods where Jacob and I don't talk,
her and I have always maintained a relationship. She was
angry that I told my son his dad has ad
tattoo on his butt, because I shouldn't be talking about
her boyfriend's But if you guys think that's also weird,
my son has been looking at my tattoos and asked

(51:21):
if his dad hasn't. She felt like the positive text
were an attempt to pressure her and that my apologies
are just me dumping on her emotionally. That was never
my intention. But I told her that I understood that now,
and that I know what her boundaries are, I can
adjust my behavior. She received it really well. The meeting
ended in smiles from her, and she thanked me and
told me that if I really have something important to say,

(51:42):
call her. However, throughout the conversation, all these little comments
she made about my son, their time together, and her
high expectations bothered me.

Speaker 5 (51:49):
Again.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
I am not good at confrontation, so I said that
I don't understand how she didn't already love my son
in a jokey type voice. That was when she said
she is trying to learn to like him, but she
doesn't like people, and children are people with no consideration.
I felt fakas f that that conversation objectively went well,
But I am now more concerned than I was.

Speaker 5 (52:10):
I thought we had a small hurdle if her not
liking me.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
I was never thinking I was going to get her
like me, but I thought that if I could ease
her rage, the environment wouldn't feel so stressful for my son.
It now feels bigger than I first anticipated, because it's
not just about me. She is fighting more than just
hatred for me. People feel like I am only focusing
on her. That is because we have already gone to court.
The only thing that would change my POV on the

(52:34):
current arrangement is that if she isn't safe for him.
People are saying I should take him from his dad's
care immediately, but we do have a legal agreement and
there are no obvious signs of abuse.

Speaker 5 (52:43):
His behavior has changed.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
I am noticing that he's anxious and doesn't want to
leave my house to go to his dad's. I don't
want to do something rash and withhold him without any
due cause. Anyways, I have to be done here. My
feelings are thoroughly hurt. I will never look for advice
on the internet again, Well, your girl should probably just
find a therapist of her own, because I am realizing
there are more issues here than just the girlfriend doesn't
like kids. Thank you for those of them who are

(53:06):
nice to me. Yet, Hey, it's John here. We're gonna
get back to the stories. Put a quick three minute
ad break from our sponsors that keep the show going.
My boyfriend's family trashed our home. I'm not letting them
come back.

Speaker 7 (53:17):
Don't a little backstory. I, twenty one female, and my boyfriend,
twenty one male, moved in together about eight months ago.
We live in a cozy, one bedroom suite that is
the perfect size for the two of us. We've had
friends and some family that have stayed with us for
a few nights. We've never had any issues. They're all
respectful of our space and understand that since I work

(53:38):
in healthcare, I like to keep house free of bacteria
and germs. Everyone always makes sure to clean up after themselves.
By the way, this comes from Affectionate Suns seventy eight
thirty one on the Charlotte Dobray YouTube subreddit. So and
if you want us some of your own stories, go
to the r Slash Showcase, Storytime, subred it and submit
them there. We've always enjoyed having guests and hosting people

(53:58):
for dinners. Have I ever had any issues with ever
having house guests until his family came to town for
Easter weekend. My boyfriend and I spent all week preparing
for his family to come, making sure the house was
stocked up on food and that the house was organized
so that it wouldn't be too squishy for everybody, as
there was going to be five of us, which is
more than we've ever had staying at the house. The

(54:21):
one time, his family was supposed to come in Thursday
after my boyfriend and I were done with school and
we were up fairly early. I leave at seven am
for work and my boyfriend's classes at eight am for school,
and then we got a very shocking call when they
decided they were going to come a day early and
let us know at five pm that they were on
their way. They didn't end up getting in until two am,

(54:42):
which left me extremely tired for work and my boyfriend
very tired for school. We didn't mind, though, as we
were looking forward to having company and we don't see
his family very often as they live in a completely
different province. We're in Canada, y'all, eight hours away. Before
I was heading home from work, I got a call
from my boyfriend. We sat a little work. He then
informed me that his brother was sick, which we were

(55:05):
not made aware of prior to them coming, and his
brother had been throwing up the whole morning we were gone.
Due to me working in healthcare, I tend to be
around people who are very susceptible to sickness, so I
had to be very cautious and make sure I wasn't
sick before going back to work the following week. We
know craft happens, people get sick, so we don't worry
about it too much. If I got sick, I got sick.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
And we didn't need to worry. It was whatever if
it happened.

Speaker 7 (55:28):
When I got home, my boyfriend and I took his
brother up to one of the parks to go play
with a frisbee and get some fresh air. While we
were at the park, his mom and her boyfriend went
to the grocery store, and when they were all done,
we all headed back to the house. When we got there,
com was made that pissed me quite a bit. When
my boyfriend's mom and her boyfriend started to bring everything

(55:48):
in the house and started putting it away. His mom's
boyfriend made a comment to me about how we didn't
have food in the house for them to make breakfast,
and there wasn't much that we had, so they went
to the grocery store to pick some stuff up for
them to be able to eat. This comment made me
quite upset. When I found out they were coming. I
had taken bacon out of the freezer, we had eggs
and the fridge, cereal and the cupboard, along with pancake mix,

(56:08):
and most of all the day prior, I had spent
hours making homemade bagels for everyone to enjoy. It was
my grandmother's recipe. The bagels were not at all touched
the entire weekend, and I ended up I wanted to
throw them out as they had gone bad. This made
me very angry as I did all this work and
it was ignored completely. My boyfriend and I eat fairly healthy,

(56:29):
so we don't keep much junk food in the house,
which is when I realized that the majority of things
his family had bought chips, chocolate, pizza, buns, and lots
of soda pop everybody has different eating habits. I didn't
mind and just brushed it off, and maybe they didn't
like some of the things I had in the house.
When Saturday came along, we'd been planning the day prior
to leave at twelve o'clock to go to my family's

(56:49):
Easter dinner. My family lives about an hour away from
where we live, and I've been looking forward all week
ago spend Easter with them. My family has many Easter
traditions that we keep, one in particular, which is very
important to us. It's a tradition that started by my grumps,
who passed away just before Easter twenty twenty two. The
morning we're supposed to leave, my boyfriend and I woke
up getting ready in our room when he went out

(57:11):
to the living room to find that his whole family
was still asleep at eleven thirty. He had gotten them up,
but we didn't end up actually getting to leave until
one thirty. Maybe quite upset as I was worried I
was going to miss out on my family tradition that
my boyfriend knows is extremely important to me. My family
did hold off and they waited till we got there,
so I sat in the bedroom and read my book
for a little bit before we left. When it was
time to go, his entire family would not look at me.

(57:34):
It would not speak to me or listen to me
when I talked, and this was made very clear when
my boyfriend was on the phone giving directions where to go.
Every time I talked to clarify anything with my boyfriend,
his mom said he needs to stop talking. I can't
hear anything, not realizing the phone was on speaker and.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
I could hear everything.

Speaker 7 (57:50):
This made me very upset and caused me to cry.
Halfway on the trip to my parents' house. I even
called my mom to talk to her because I felt
as if I had done something wrong and needed another opinion.
You didn't do anything wrong, op which she assured me.
I did not do anything wrong, as I was just
enjoying peace and quiet, reading my book, waiting for everyone
to get ready. The door had been opened to the

(58:11):
bedroom and anyone who looked in and could see that
all I was doing, which having her tell me that
made me feel much better. When we got to my
parents house, the dinner went very well and everyone was happy.
My boyfriend had talked to his mom and let her
know that they had upset me on the way there,
that I felt as if they were ignoring me and

(58:31):
mad at me. After the dinner with my family, my
boyfriend and I had gone to the store get some
adult beveragesoo as it had been a long week and
his family was leaving the next day. We all sat
down with the drink and watched the movie together. Midway
through the movie, I'd realized my boyfriend's mom had spilled
some of her drink on the floor, which she cleaned up.

(58:52):
A few moments later, her boyfriend had spilled adult soda
down the side of a couch and on our car whoa,
which I had just cleaned prior to them coming to visit.
I brushed it off as my boyfriend cleaned it up
the next day. Okay, everything ran fairly smoothly. The last
day they were here. We enjoyed the day and had
lots of fun. When they left Monday, my boyfriend and

(59:14):
I decided to clean the house and go have showers,
as we hadn't gotten the shower since Friday through there
being no hot water because it's family showered every morning
raining the hot water tank. When I went to have
a shower, I noticed some things were off. I gotten
out of the shower, wrapped up in a towel, called
for my boyfriend. He'd come in, and that's when we
learned multiple of our shower products we're being used without

(59:36):
our knowledge. Three bottles of shampoo and body wash were
completely empty. They were half full before they came to visit.
A brand new hair mask I had bought was open
and half empty, and my expensive shampoo conditioner that I
had tucked away prior to them getting there had been
taken out of the cabinet and the bottles were half empty.
We did the math on how much stuff of ours

(59:56):
had been used from our shower.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
It came out to over one hund.

Speaker 7 (01:00:00):
Hundred dollars of our bathroom stuff being used without our knowledge.
I was very upset and very angry as many of
my skincare products has also been used, and one had
been spilled, which was also extremely expensive. I'm normally not
one to be materialistic, but I was quite upset because
after cleaning the house, we had learned many things were spilled.
Oliver blankets, his little brother had snot all over pillows,

(01:00:23):
blankets or couch and all the furniture, and there was
something spilled all down the side of our white out.
I had already been very upset and this was just
the cherry on top of the cake. So am I
the a hole if I never let my boyfriend's family
come stay with us again. And yes, my boyfriend knows
I'm posting this, and he is also the loss what
to do and if we should ever invite them back

(01:00:44):
again due to many things being broken, used, or wrecked.
So we got an update job oh on this situation,
baby boy. But let me know what is within your
head of what you think, oh, he should do in
terms of inviting this family back.

Speaker 5 (01:00:58):
So the family's gone now, right, thank god?

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
I think we do not invite the family back, and
I think just going back to our classic old rule,
who's going to be the person that delivers the news
the partner, because that's his family.

Speaker 7 (01:01:14):
My boyfriend and I have talked with his family since
this all has happened. We had a nice long conversation
and there were lots of apologies at the bathroom items
being used, and we were reimbursed for the products used.
We have since set boundaries and let them know the
next time they want to visit will either be going
there or if they want to come back to us,
they can stay in a hotel or airba, which they

(01:01:37):
agreed with so everyone can have more space. We have
come to a good understanding and many apologies have been said.
There's another relevant update and I'm just going to go
right into it. My boyfriend had a conversation regarding the
things said to me while they were visiting. As I
am bad with confronting things like this, an apology was
sent to me regarding it all. My boyfriend has been
amazing through this all and has been apologizing to me

(01:02:00):
for what has happened. He has made it up to
me in many ways, making my favorite dinner, giving me
chocolates and flowers. Thank you all for reading my amazing
story and for all the amazing for suggestions and support.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
XO XO

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