I PROPOSED to my best friend’s bully… it did not go well! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2163 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh John, Oh Sam, I love you so much.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I love you almost as much as the great stories
that are about to come up. And you know what,
I love equally as much as the two minutes of
sponsors coming up, because they support the show and make
sure that we will have our happily Ever after.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
I proposed to my best friend's bully, it did not
go well.

Speaker 4 (00:20):
Did you propose that they stopped bullying your best friend?

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Beth and I have been best friends since preschool.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
We suffered through school together and eventually went to the
same university for our undergrad Beth had it worse in
high school, being overweight and a drama geek. Allison was
a mean girl and mean she was to Beth. By
the way, this comes from user marrying the mean girl.
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime subburn it. Beth and
I both moved back to our hometown at different times.

(00:47):
Beth became an elementary school teacher and I went on
to grad school. I started teaching at a local community
college when I moved back. Allison married a soldier right
out of high school and had two children with him.
He was unalived in action while she was pregnant with
their youngest. She moved back to our hometown and got
a job at Starbucks. She's also working on getting an

(01:08):
AA from a different community college, ow In Associates. One morning,
on my way to work, I happened to go to
Alison Starbucks.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
I wasn't thrilled to see her, to say the least.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
She pulled me aside after I ordered and apologized for
being such a wiener.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
In high school.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
After a few weeks of stopping by for my morning latte,
I asked her out. She was funny, kind, quick witted,
and yes I noticed, I couldn't help it, as beautiful
as ever.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
We've been together.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
For a year and she is the love of my life.
I love her with all my heart. I love her children,
and I've become a father figured to them both. I
asked her to marry me and told her I'd like
to adopt her kids. She accepted it, and we were
both very excited for the future. But Beth did not
take this news well. She has been blasting Allison to
all of our old friends. Some that I had hoped

(01:52):
to make grooms meant things like Allison is using me
for money, which she's not. She received a large insurance
settlement after her husband's passing. She does not advertise this
info though, or she's only interested in me now because
geeky is the new cool. That a woman that looks
like that could never truly be interested in a man
love me, my gosh. Alison has apologized to Beth before,

(02:12):
and Beth said she accepted it, but obviously she still
has some bitterness stored up. Allison and I tried to
be understanding because yes, Allison was awful in high school.
She deserves anger. She's the first to admit that she
doesn't deserve forgiveness. Last night, Beth called me wasted and
asked to talk to Alison, and.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
It was bad. U oh.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
She went off on Emily, Allison's oldest. Emily has a
severe peanut allergy and has very poor vision, which requires
her to wear strong prescription glasses. Beth said things like
Emily is made fun of at school she attends the
school where Beth teaches, and that she gets a secret
kick out of it, knowing that Allison's own daughter is
experiencing the same treatment Alison dished out. She said she

(02:51):
hasn't made any moves to stop it and that this
is karma for Allison's nasty youth. Beth said Emily deserves
her allergy and her thick glasses, and that this is
what happened when an evil womb produces a child. Allison
was shaking by the time she hung up on Beth.
She's been sobbing all day and wants to pull Emily
from that school and or report Beth and have her fired.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
I low key would probably do.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
That because that's your teacher. If this is I mean,
I'm guessing it's elementary school or something that this has happened,
like how old these kids are. But I would not
want my kid around a school teacher like that. Even
if it wasn't my kid that was being bullied by
this teacher, I would not want to mess with that
teacher ever.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
Yeah, it's just I don't think this is a MICHAELA.
Currell's hurt people hurt people, bullies become bullies. Yeah this
is yeah, this is a hurt person now just like
lashing out, Yeah at what she feels is like justified.
Beth texted me this morning that she was so sorry
for the things that she said, but the damage has
been done.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
I told Alison.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
I was hesitant to report her, and now Allison is
furious with me. I think she might call off our
engagement over this. I feel like a knucklehead for not
being understanding. I'm marrying the girl that tormented her in
high school. That's got to suck. But she attacked this
little girl, this sweet child I've been raising as my
daughter and planned to legally make my own.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Should we report Beth My gut says yes, because what
kind of teacher says those things about a child?

Speaker 1 (04:11):
If it were anyone but her, I'd be all for it.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
But on the other hand, she was wasted and her
best friend is marrying her bully.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
I'm at a loss.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
I mean, man, it is like a very like tight
rope or you know, situation of like it really you
could just fall in either direction because given the context,
it's like I don't think she's I don't think she's
bullying all the students. Sure, I don't think she condones bullying.
I think she was really drunk. Probably was like, yeah,
your daughter gets picked on and I don't even care.
I like it, And like maybe that's true about one student,

(04:41):
which is like still not good, but like, right, I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
It's just like I wouldn't trust that teacher though.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
That's what I feel is like, even if Emily wasn't
my kid and my kid was just in that class,
I would not trust that teacher to just I don't
know it would be a good influence or be able
to like if bullying did come up, if she would
stop it or something.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yeah or yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
Well that's the thing is, it's like you've said some
things now where it's like, ah, you cannot put them
back in the bottle. Yeah, you said some things that
made it sound like you're like you just let kids
get bullied exactly, almost to a level of encouraging it, right, Right,
So even if it's in that one context, it feels
weird now because that's what I'm adopting that kid.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
So that's my kid.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
So what am I not going to report you after
you told me you let my kid get bullied? Like what,
I don't I don't understand. That's a tough one. I'd
almost flip a coin. That's so hard.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, you could talked to her, but I would I
would report her for sure.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
For sure.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
First talk to your kid about what their experience is
like at school. I guess, I guess now if you're
if you're just finding this out, there's an edit here.
Sorry guys, it's been a long day. Yep, I'm a tool.
I told Alison that I was completely wrong for hesitating
to report Beth. I support her one. Emily is our
top priority here. She has already emailed the teacher this
morning and plans on calling the principle on Monday. We
have both blocked Beth from Facebook and our phones, and

(05:56):
there is an update here.

Speaker 4 (05:57):
Oo, let's see, let's get it.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
I think you kind of what you're forced. Your hand
becomes forced once you hear those words come out of
the teacher's mouth. Yeah, it doesn't matter who the teacher.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Is or what other kind.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
It's like, oh, you're just letting you said you get
a kick out of seeing my kid get bullied.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, I hope you get a kick out of finding
a new job. Update.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
I'm trying to hit all the talking points at once here.
Sorry if I miss any. I have obviously described teenage
Allison poorly. She was a butthole, mean and snarky, but
she did not actively seek Beth out to torment her.
No fake MySpace pages. Like you heard in the news.
She was just a knucklehead to the people who weren't
part of her cool crowd. She was not the meanest
or main antagonist by a long shot. I glossed over

(06:37):
her apologies because I didn't think they were relevant. I
can assure you that they were heartfelt and sincere. Allison
has made it clear that she doesn't expect forgiveness. She
just wanted us to know that her poor behavior was
entirely a reflection upon her, and we never did anything
to incur her wrath. Allison and Beth had a tentative
friendship building up until the engagement announcement. Allison is not
the same person as she was in high school. I'm

(06:59):
not the same person I was in high school. Allison
had already emailed the teacher before I posted this. I
think she's still a little angry that I didn't automatically
join up on the burn Beth wagon, but she understands
that I'm human, Beth has been a huge part of
my life for years, and that she is hurting. Her
email didn't even mention Beth, just something like I've heard
that Emily is being picked on at school.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
Do you know if there's any truth to this.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
Allison has already asked Emily if she likes school yes,
if kids have been mean to her, no, and if
she has fun there yes. Emily comes home happy every day,
so there's been nothing that would lead us to the
conclusion that she was being bullied. Someone asked if Alison
has told her kids about her being a mean girl.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
She has.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
She's made it very clear that it is never okay
to hurt others. And while you may think being mean
to others makes you feel good about yourself or makes
others like you or think you're funny, you're hurting yourself too.
No one deserves to be made to feel bad because
you think it's funny.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
It's not funny, it's cruel. She used the feeding the.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Good wolf slash evil wolf, analogy that seemed to really
strike a chord with Emily. Her youngest is way too
young to understand. Inside you are two wolves. One is
silly and one is hungry.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
I don't know that one which one? Will you be
silly the silly wolf. The hungry wolf just is too angry,
Like I'm hungry, give me more food. He's like, look,
I'm making a joke movie.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
I'm gonna be a little goofy guy.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Make a silly's movie.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
As for the friends being swayed against Allison, they either
don't believe it or have made it clear they don't
want to be involved in the fight. Honestly, if Beth
had feelings for me, yeah, I can see how that
could crush her. That doesn't excuse her actions at all, though,
I'm not going to feel bad about asking someone I
really liked out because she was a knucklehead as a teenager.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
I heard the phone call.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
I just put Beth on speakerphone with her consents so
she could talk to us both. I got a few
private messages from some people that I worry might actually
be Beth. You're stuck raising some passed away soldiers kids
while you're seaword barista wife fs other men. I hope
Beth lips Emily's and peanut butter at lunch. It's wonderful
to know that this mother gets to feel what my
own mother felt. If it's not Beth, these are people
that are projecting their own issues here. Emily is doing great,

(09:02):
obviously better than any of you. I appreciate the kind
pms quite a bit and by the way, you can
appreciate listening to full episodes with stories just like this
on Spotify. iHeartRadio, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen to stories,
wherever you listen to podcasts search, Okay, story time. After
much thought, no matter what Emily's teacher says, we're going
to the administration with what Beth said. Oh is the

(09:23):
priority now not Beth, And we just can't trust Beth anymore.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yop.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
Depending on what Emily's teacher says, we may or may
not give Beth a heads up. Eventually, I'd like to
think we can forgive Beth, but trust her with this
fragile little psyche one and Done's son, we can't risk
it talking about their kid.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah. Absolutely, that is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (09:44):
Who dude, protect your freaking children from mini's like this?

Speaker 1 (09:49):
All right, it's true, think of the children.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
I understand that Beth's a victim of bullying, but it's like,
you know, Beth needs to work through that in a
way that allows her to exist without feeling the need
to like revel in the bullying of another child. Yeah,
that is completely innocent in the situation. So that end
the cycle, regardless of it. If that's even true or not.
The fact that that came out is like concerning. It's like, well,

(10:12):
would you even if that's not happening right now? It's
like if it did happen now, I have to question
whether or not you'd just let my kid get harassed
at school or encourage it.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Almost my roommate.

Speaker 4 (10:23):
Moved stuff while I was gone, so I returned the favor.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
Moved on your stuff into these boxes I put outside.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
I moved into this lot about eight months ago. I
met Lana online on a roommate website and we clicked Wow,
she's a bit younger but seemed to mature. We quickly
agreed to be roommates. Both of us were under time
constraints to find place to live, but have gotten on
really well so far up until this. By the way,
this comes from Where's my Room? And if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

(10:49):
Okay sorry time subreddit. Our flat is a two bedroom,
and to be frank, my room is clearly the better one.
It's bigger and has built in wardrobes. When looking for
the flat, I found the place first on my own
and put down a deposit to take it off the
market while I found another roommate. The flat was perfect
cheap rent in. My aunt manages the property, so I
was keen to snap it up before anyone else did.

(11:11):
The area it's in is popular, so I wasn't really
worried about not finding someone to room with because of
the above and that I was there first.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
I took the bigger room naturally.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
When showing potential roommates, including Lana, around, I was sure
to show the smaller room and say this.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
Would be your room.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
We moved in eight months ago and it's been happy families.
Never heard Lana complain about her room because I have
about six times the wardrobe space that she does. I
told her that she's welcome to store her off season
clothes in there, or whatever she wants to store, as
long as she's not popping in every morning to get dressed.
She was happy with this. Just over a month ago,
I went traveling. Now I'm not the biggest fan of

(11:47):
having people in my room, but I told Lanna that
if she had someone stay, her sister or friends from home,
they could sleep in my bed. She said thanks, And
as she's been such a great roommate and rarely has
guests except her boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
I didn't worry at all. I came back yesterday.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
I was exhausted from the flight and traveling and just
wanted to shower and sleep. As I walked in, Lana
was in the living room with her boyfriend. We said
hello and hugged, had a very quick catch up blah
blah blah. Then I dragged my suitcase to my room,
opened the door and found it full of stuff that
was not mine. I kind of yelled well f and
briefly thought that I was so jet lagged. I was confused,

(12:22):
but opened the door to Lana's room and saw all
of my stuff. I walked into the living room and
asked Lona what was going on, and she said, oh, sorry,
I forgot to mention. We put my stuff in your
room just because it's bigger and you weren't here, and
you said I could use it. I was honestly so
tired I could have passed out then, so I probably
wasn't in the best state, and I told her to move.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
It all back immediately.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
She said they were in the middle of making dinner,
and I looked tired, though I should have a sleep.
Her boyfriend then said, and anyway, you pay the same rent,
so isn't it fair that you both get the big room.
At some point, I was getting really frustrated and could
feel tears welling up, hysterical from lack of sleep, so
I just said we'll deal with this tomorrow and it's
getting moved, and then I went to sleep in not

(13:02):
my room. I've woken up now and I'm so pissed off.
Lana's at work, so I can't talk to her. But
what should I do when she's home. I feel like
this is going to turn into an argument. I don't
think it'll be as simple as Okay, let's swap Now
that you're home, and I've taken the advice of most
people on this thread and moved my stuff back. It's
taken hours and I'm knackered, but I think that if
I left it another night, it would be a real problem.

(13:24):
I sent her a text when I was almost done,
in case she kicked up a crapstorm and came home
to say, Hilna, hope you're having a nice day at work,
Just to let you know I'm moving my stuff back
into my room. Didn't want you coming home and walking
into the wrong one. Yes, I'm petty I'll be talking
to her when she gets in because this is out
of character for her, to the point of it being bizarre.
She's never been anything but a model roommate, so I'm

(13:45):
going to give her a chance before ward done. So,
if she wants to be reasonable and have a chat
about rents portions, I'm happy to do that. She's never
had a problem with rent before, and honestly, I've never
had uneven rent amounts in any place I've ever lived,
whether I had a bigger room or smaller room. But
a lot of people here are saying it's so I'm
open to talking about it if she's not ridiculous. And
at number two, Lana should be home in a bit.

(14:05):
I'll update when I can, and we do have an update.
What do we think is gonna happen? What would you predict?

Speaker 1 (14:11):
This was boyfriends at the end.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
That's what I'm thinking too, because he dropped that weird
little comment.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, SOO, will you guys pay the same amount of rents?
Those you didn't make sense? You should both get the
big room at some point.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
Yeah, Like they have definitely talked about it. He definitely
helped her with all of this. Would not be surprised
if it was his idea from the start. But we
do have an update. Hi everyone, I've got about a
million messages asking.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
For an update.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
But last night was a bit mad and I'm still
pretty jet lagged, so sorry, but.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
I went to sleep. Anyway, here we go.

Speaker 4 (14:39):
So, as you know, I texted Lonna to tell her
I moved my stuff back. She didn't reply to me, fine, whatever,
but she didn't kick off, so I figured that were okay.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
I told my aunt.

Speaker 4 (14:48):
What had happened, who was as baffled as all of you,
and I told her it was probably all sorted, just
keeping her in the loop. I also told my boyfriend,
who works about five minutes down the road. He offered
to come around in case Lona's boyfriend came round, but
I told him not too, because then we're ganging up
on Lana. He insisted on going for our coffee with
his mate a couple of roads away in case we

(15:08):
needed backup, which is a bit ridiculous but very cute
of him. So I did give myself a glass of
wine while waiting for Lana, not because I was nervous,
I just like wine. And she came home. I was
sat in the living room and gave her a very
cold high. When she walked in, she sort of froze
back in hand and her arms darted between me and
my not her our bedroom door. She blurted did you

(15:30):
do it? And I said, what, moved the rooms back?

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah? Of course. Her eyes went all wide and.

Speaker 4 (15:35):
She dropped her bag and ran into the bathroom. I
could hear her talking on the phone, so I was like, yip, yeah,
I guess Tom's coming round, finn. I heard the door unlocked,
and I was about to go full hulk on how
psycho she is when she came out of the door
and stood between our bedrooms. Their doors are adjacent, and
she just stared between them, both breathing heavily.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
It was really odd.

Speaker 4 (15:57):
What is going on?

Speaker 1 (15:59):
What's happened? She's turning into a beast, it sounds like.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
Then I noticed that she was crying and getting a
bit panicky, so I asked what was going on. She
burst into tears and said, oh my god, he's going
to unlive me and just sobbed. What is this the boyfriend?

Speaker 3 (16:17):
Then, yes, boyfriend, it's because the boyfriend.

Speaker 4 (16:21):
So yeah, it was the boyfriend's idea completely, As a
lot of us suspected. She's honestly always been a perfect roommate,
which is kind of why I came to this up.
If she was generally an a hole, I would have
known how to act, if you know what I mean. Anyway,
Lana has a bit of a breakdown, and it turns
out that pos Tom has always been a bit of

(16:42):
a pos very jealous, which I always saw hints of
but Lana never mentioned so I didn't, and has amped
up his posishness while I've been away. When I left,
he had finished school and basically moved in unannounced, And
when she'd mentioned that he hasn't been home in days,
he'd give her the what.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
Don't you love me? I treat you so well, you're so.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
Selfish blah blah blah crap and refused to move What
that's so crazier than I even would think. He moved in,
and that's why he was like, Oh, you should get
the big room because now there's two of us.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, what an actual that's crazy.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
And that's just crazy that she's so freaked out about
him being mad at Lana for this, Like, like Lana's
freaked out about him being mad at her. That's not okay.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Well, yeah, unfortunate.

Speaker 4 (17:24):
She showed me the text that he sent her, absolutely
horrific stuff, things like ring me in the next five minutes.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
We're over. Okay, so we're over. That's what I say.
That's what you say? That all right, we're over?

Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah yeah, and then watch them go no, no, no, we.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
Mean I didn't mean it. He also would say things
like send me a picture of you at your desk
with something showing today's date, so I know.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
You're at work. I send him a beautiful picture of
this fingerful stuff. Just that your ring finger Nope, no finger, nope, it's.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
The one in the middle.

Speaker 4 (17:55):
Ah, onto the room. As we guessed, he moved it.
He did it while she was at work, which is
actually a big gross thinking of him going through my stuff.
And I'm considering somehow implying that I have crabs or
something he could catch, just to make him squirm a bit.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
But I'll work on it.

Speaker 4 (18:10):
Lana came home and said, what are you doing. He
made out it was just temporary and that I wouldn't
mind such a gentleman speaking on my behalf. And he
would move it back, and he was doing it for her,
and she was so selfish et cetera. When it got
a few days before I came back, Lana suggested moving
it back, and he completely denied he said that and
told her that it was her idea to move it,
and he only did what she told him. But it's

(18:32):
staying now, or she'd be sorry.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
I don't know why, but I just I just immediately
the example that came into my head, like for comparison
was like the Panama Canal. Yeah, America rolling up and
being like, no, Panama, you want us to build the canal?
And they just are pointing every like artillery, arsenal on
like every warship they have at Panama. They're like like, right,

(18:55):
you want this, right, Panama, you wanted this?

Speaker 1 (18:58):
And Panama was like yeah, yeah, sure.

Speaker 4 (19:00):
Sure, totally do So basically, Tom is a prick and
Lanna sobbed and apologized and cried and I fed her wine.
She didn't want to see Tom, who obviously assumed that
he lived there now, so I texted him from her
phone saying, our landlady, my aunt was coming around for
an inspection and staying for dinner after with my family
and he couldn't come over tonight. He sent a lot

(19:20):
of begging whiny texts and then went on the offensive
and called Lana a liar. So I rang my aunt,
explained everything and had her write us a fake Landlord
email mentioning the visit and how she was looking forward
to fajitas because she's an absolute babe and I make
good packet fajitas, which we forwarded on to Tom. He
left her alone for the rest of the night, apart

(19:40):
from a few texts. By the way, I hope that
you never leave us alone because you can listen to
us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio. One of your favorite
podcasts up is just search Okay Storytime. You'll find episodes
with full stories just like this one. There is a
little bit more to the story, so I'm not entirely
sure what we do about Tom. Landa sounds like she
wants to break up, judging from her crying and screaming

(20:02):
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him into
her wine. I think she's scared too, though I checked
with her and he doesn't have a key, so that's
a relief. I've told my aunt everything and she said
that she's happy to ban him from the flat, but
Lana would need to break up with him. First and
get all that sorted. Thanks everyone for the advice. I
know it wasn't the most popcorny update, but hopefully Lana
will be okay and we're going to be doing some

(20:23):
girly crap this week and avoiding Tom and yeah, god
knows what will happen, and.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
That is the end.

Speaker 4 (20:29):
Oh my goodness. So the aunt is going to ban
that is good. Get him banned, Get him banned, Get.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Him out of there.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
My friend refuses to accept that I don't want to
date his friend.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
It's exhausting. No means no. People, come on.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
I moved to a city and met a friend, Eric,
who was gracious enough to bring me into his social
group and help me meet new people. I have been
in this city for two years. I travel often for
work and have had a really hard time meeting anyone
local new girlfriends and men alike.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
By the way, this comes from user making new friends.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytimes subburn.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
So I let Eric know this after we'd gotten to
know each other a bit, because I felt that people
can't help you if you don't ask. I'm a pretty
cool person and I have never had trouble building and
maintaining relationships with the right people, so it's really been
about opportunity to meet new girlfriends. Romantically, it's a whole
other issue. I've been involved in.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
A few harmful relationships physically, emotionally and financially well. Eric
decides he has his best friend who would love me.
He tells his friend I look like Scarlett Johansson and
send him pictures of me. He talked me up so
much to his friend, and all the while I just ring.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
He literally did it right in front of me.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
He noticed my face and said I should just be
open to possibilities.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Now.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
I was immediately uninterested in meeting this friend because I
just met Eric and really wanted to build some platonic friendships.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Throwing in blind date setups was just a bad idea.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
This was before Eric described his friend to I modeled
for a living, so I work out a lot and
have to stay in shape most of the year, and
I'm five eight barefoot. I also own my own tech
company that's been quite successful. I'll be leaving the modeling
industry to run it full time soon. In a man,
I prefer someone fit who has a runner's build and
at least five eight. That's my sweet spot. I'll never
get hit on by men who meet that description. I'm

(22:19):
constantly hit on by men who are pushing five to five,
and I'll never understand it.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
However, I digress.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
Eric told me his friend was super sweet but was
unlucky in love because of his weight.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
He's about three hundred pounds.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Eric said that he thought I would be great for
his friend because I was beautiful, ambitious, and could help
him lose weight. At this point, I just really felt
like nothing I wanted was being taken into consideration.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
One I had already told him I didn't want to
be set up.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Two he never asked me what type of man I
was attracted to know that I would not be attracted
to his friend. It was all about what I could
offer his friend, who I had no interest in dating
and consistently made that very clear. Once again, I was
being asked to bring everything to the table in exchange
for some male companionship. I could be his friend's ambitious
scarlet Joe Anson with the great personality in Eric's words,

(23:02):
and help him get into shape. We all got together
as a group and went out, and it was a
great time. Eric's girlfriend was super sweet and also a model,
so I chatted with her more. Eric's friend was there,
and he's genuinely an amazing person. He's very nice and
I'm sorry he's had issues with dating because of his weight,
but I'm just not attracted to him. Eric won't let
it go. He makes comments about me keeping an open mind,

(23:23):
et cetera.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Here's my thing.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
I am tired of entering into relationships with men and
overlooking important things such as looks. I feel like women
are constantly asked to do this, and I'm sick of it.
In the past, I'd done it on my own, just
thinking I could get past not being attracted to them.
The men who mistreated me were all very nice at first,
and because of that I looked past not being attracted
to them because they offered companionship and seemed kind. No

(23:47):
attraction is important.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
And did did did diit?

Speaker 3 (23:50):
Newsflash, there are plenty of not conventionally attractive men who
are insane ales. The men I've dated in the past
have not been my type, but because they pursued me,
I thought that meant they were genuinely interested in me
and not what I just have to offer. I don't
know where society got the idea that men who are
overlooked because of looks automatically have hearts of gold. I

(24:11):
shouldn't have to compromise on attraction just to meet a
decent romantic partner.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
No one should. I'm not looking for George Clooney, for
God's sake.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
I'm pissed that Eric sees what all I could potentially
bring to the table for his friend in exchange for
his friend's kindness. Why does he only see me as
being good enough to be a fixer for his friend,
telling me to keep an open mind. I'm not asking
anyone to come to the table and fix me and
my issues. I get that Eric is coming from a
loving place for his friend, but it's not a fair
place for me. Problem is, I really like all these

(24:39):
people as friends, but if Eric keeps this up, his
friend's feelings are going to get hurt, and I'm.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
Afraid I'll get booted out of the group.

Speaker 3 (24:46):
It's taken me so long to meet people I connect
with here, and this is what happens. How do I
make Eric back off and keep these friends?

Speaker 1 (24:54):
Help? There's an update.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
First, I should mention that while I met Eric two
years ago. In this new he is not a model,
but he does work in the industry. I'm trying really
hard not to be obvious because everyone involved uses Reddit.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
We worked on one of.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
My shoots together, and the owner of the video production
company later randomly called me and asked if he could
take noodle photos of me. Naturally, I wouldn't be able
to tell a soul, including his wife, because this was
a secret hobby of his. I told that guy. My
answer was a hard no, and never heard from him again.
I sat on that disturbing situation for a while, then

(25:29):
one day told Eric. His response was an underwhelming everybody
has their issues, so I followed up with him. I
just think you should know in case you're introducing models
to him for networking purposes, you know what he's capable of.
Eric responded with a flat banks. Eric didn't know the
production company owner. They met on the set of my shoot,
so I don't know. We aren't friends from way back,
but I expected some sort of loyalty at least in

(25:51):
his response. I wasn't expecting him to say I'll never
work with the guy, but he couldn't have cared less.
Eric continued to make comments about setting me up with
his friend, to which I continued to make clear uninterested.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
And finally we all got together well brunch.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
At one point Eric and I were left at the
table alone and I said, all right, let's talk.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
I wanted to.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
Schedule a shoot a couple of months out that he
would be involved in. He immediately assumed I wanted to
chastise him about continually suggesting Idatea's friend. I said, no,
that's not what I was intending to discuss, but to reiterate,
your friend is a great person and I'm no way interested.
That was the last time he brought it up, so
I felt he had the ability to be reasonable if pressed,
but certainly pushed boundaries. One night, we were playing card

(26:30):
games and I started to notice that he seemed annoyed
with everyone all the time. He seemed incapable of being challenged,
even in the slightest ways, often pouting, he'd get up,
throw his head back and leave the table, et cetera.
His wife was constantly apologizing to him for things that
didn't seem like offenses. At one point, he got up
left the table and she said sorry to him, no kidding,

(26:51):
five times in rapid succession as she was apologizing to
him for one of his imagined slights. Her friend piped
up and said, you don't need to apologize, and now
the category five crab store. She had been friends with
this guy for longer than she knew her husband, so
that was my signal something was up. I didn't know
them to comment on their relationship. They just got married,

(27:13):
so they could literally be driving each other up a wall. However,
the friend's response let me know that perhaps this wasn't
first year marriage problems. This was after another outing where
he was flat out being mean to her. When she
walked away, he said she was having an anxiety fit.
Didn't seem that way to me. Anyone would be frazzled
by their significant other being a knucklehead to them in public.
I noticed that, aside from the one friend of hers

(27:35):
piping up for her, his other friends just sort of
sat there quietly. If you haven't noticed, I don't easily
develop opinions about things. Being a model means that people
perceive you as and to treat you as an idiot constantly.
I've endured my fair share of false perceptions, so I
try to feel people out until they hang themselves.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Fast forward to the fourth of July.

Speaker 3 (27:55):
We're up on the rooftop and the sun was being
I was wearing a shirt dress with a sports bra
running shorts underneath. I pulled down the top of my
dress and tied it around my waist. So imagine I'm
sitting in a sports bra with a bunch of clothes
tide around my waist. At some point we started discussing
Marvel Comics, a mutual interest of ours. I commented on
how I was tired of the franchise not developing Storm
and Rogues storylines.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
He then awkwardly chimed in that if.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
Women wanted to be perceived differently, they needed to change
the way people saw them and manage the t and a.
It was the most random, irrelevant, and ridiculous thing I'd
ever heard. Everyone else just got quiet and looked at him.
I challenged him. I told him that Wolverine runs around
entire movies with no shirt on it all, so what
was his point. He then made another bizarre comment of

(28:37):
everyone has to do their part. If I know a
friend is a heavy drinker, I'm not going to put
booze in front of him, I asked, So you're saying
that men are addicted to women's bodies and as a
result are helplessly incapable of controlling themselves and their own actions.
So instead the women is responsible for managing the oppression.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
He repeated, everybody has to do their parts. Not fair,
but that's how it is.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
This went on before I realized it was idiotic, and
I was done with the conversation.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
His wife sat quietly. Everyone did. At that moment, I
knew I would never be close friends with him.

Speaker 3 (29:08):
In my opinion, I felt he had revealed himself as
a misogynist, and it made perfect sense that he felt
he could set me up with his best friend where
I would be bringing the majority of the benefits to
the table.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
As a side note, he is obsessed with being right
and sounding intellectual.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
If you make a counter argument, he will smirk, look
down into the left as if you're the biggest I
recently got into gaming as a way to manage the
mental stress of growing my business. They all game as well. Recently,
we were playing online and Eric threw a fit while
we were losing a game. I told him all the
things he said we were doing wrong, he was doing
himself as well. He got louder and I got louder.

(29:43):
I will not be spoken over by some guy who
I feel.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Is loud and wrong all the time.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
Then he said, you're new to the group, so you
don't know this, but I don't like being talked to
that way. Oh dear, I have definitely noticed. Again, everyone
got quiet. His best friend was also playing with us
and said to him regarding the game, Eric used, seem
to be the only one who feels this way, to
which Eric responded, well, make me not feel this way, yes, because.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
The world revolves around you, Eric.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
I'll make you not feel this way. I'll make you
not feel anything at all anymore.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Eric's best friend said, I don't know how to not
make you not feel this way. Eric went into full
pout mode and would not speak. Anyone familiar with gaming
knows that if you get into a game against other people,
you have to commit lest you.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Get a deserter penalty.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Well, Eric didn't commit on his end, and we all
got a deserter penalty because he had to go use
the restroom.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
He didn't bother saying a word in advance. He just left.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
When he came back, someone asked why we got a
deserter penalty, and his best friend struggled to explain why
because he was trying to avoid just saying what Eric did.
My final realization was that this guy, over time has
conditioned his friends and family to walk on eggshells around him.

Speaker 1 (30:52):
I'd had enough.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
We all ignored his pouting and kept playing, So I'm
back on the friendship market. I won't be proactively trying
to hang out with him, Although I do you find
everyone around him wonderful. I suspect none of them would
be friends with me anyways if he caused enough of
a stir about it. Sorry, I'm exhausted while typing this,
so please forgive me for not including each redditor's name.
Regarding meeting friends, the subreddit suggested meetup groups, which I've tried,

(31:15):
but we'll give it another go. I had another person
comment that they were surprised I was having trouble dating
in tech.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
I can't explain it more beyond.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
Most of the men in this exact niche of the
tech industry are much much older and married, so this
particular part of the industry isn't bustling with dating options
for me. But by the way, you can listen to
full episodes with stories just like this if you hustle
and bustle your way on over to Spotify or iHeartRadio
or Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Just search.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
Okay, story time, I had a redditor comment that she too,
encountered many bad apples because of her looks as well.
You had to learn that many ways that these men
were asking her out seemed harmless or even romantic, but
were quite the opposite. Her comment was so dead on
for me that I copt we did to my computer
to look at every now and then as a reminder.
I also want to reiterate that dating is not a
priority for me right now.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
I truly am focused.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
On building platonic friendships here so that I can find
some balance. And to clarify, I work with Eric in
the modeling industry. I soon to be full time business
is in tech and completely separate. It's just that someone
asked why I couldn't find a date in that field,
so I mentioned it.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Sorry for the confusion, and that is the end of
the story.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
That doesn't make it difficult if I mean, if they're
in the same industry, they might not have to cross paths.
But if they're like working with the same people and stuff.
Then it's like, is even if she like uninvites some
of the things, she is still gonna have to see
him gonna.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
I think, if you want to go the friend politic route,
you just go, you know, maybe start another group to
and be like are we rocking with Eric?

Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah? Are we really rocking with Eric? Though?

Speaker 2 (32:51):
Like, dude, it's so liberating when all of the friends
are like, you know, you're talking to your friends and you're.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
Like, yeah, like I didn't really like what so and
so did and they're.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Like, yeah, I also dahn like with date, and you
both you're like, you're both not like this person.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, that's the end. That is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
And silly old Eric.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode.
But a quick three minute break with aswer More sponsors.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
I ruined my stepson's wedding just because I laughed. Poor
people should never laugh. They'rowaway shortened for character account for context.
I have been married to my husband for just over
twenty years. We started dating when my stepkids were five
and three. Our kids are Adam twenty eight, stepkid number one,
Ben twenty six, stepkid number two, Charles twenty David seventeen

(33:34):
and Ellie thirteen. Y'all got a whole freaking full house man.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
By the way, this comes from Afraid Memmoth five five
to seven four and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay story Time
Separate it. So Adam is getting married at the end
of summer to his fiance Alice twenty seven. We have
all been very excited for them. All of the kids
have roles for the wedding. Charles is the best man,
the other two boys are groomsman, and Ellie is a
junior bridesmaid. Last weekend, we had a dinner for my

(34:01):
husband's birthday. All of the kids attended, along with Alice.
The topic of the wedding came up again, and this
is where it started to go downhill. Ellie brought up
that she was so excited to go dress shopping and
that we planned to go to a bigger city in
a few weeks to get her address and me a
stepmom of the groom dress. At that, Alice looked at

(34:21):
Adam sideways and responded that we only needed to worry.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
About one dress.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Alice's Ellie kind of laughed and said what are you
expecting mom to wear a suit? Alice responded with, oh,
he's not going. You know, we are keeping our guests listen,
very limited to onlyfamily and a few close friends. What
Adam and Alice have been to our house numerous times
for holidays dinners just to say hi since they've been engaged.
This has never been brought up. That's insane. Pretty quickly

(34:47):
things escalated. The cliff Notes version is that Charles asked
them to clarify if they were choosing to uninvite me
now or if I was never invited. Alice confirmed the latter.
Why Adam says, it's because I'm not his mom. Charles
David and argued with Adam and Alice that none of
them were going to go if I wasn't invited, that
it was cruel to leave me out, given I've been
his parent for majority of his life and loved him

(35:08):
like my own. My husband and I admittedly sat there
for a minute just effing shocked. Adam finally turned to
my husband and said, well, my husband told him he
wouldn't be going either. Adam then turned to me and
asked if I was really gonna let everyone rune his
wedding on my behalf. Oh he's just sitting there like,
I don't tell anyone to do anything.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
You just didn't invite me, and then everyone said they
don't want to come.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
That's not my fault.

Speaker 4 (35:30):
Yeah, yeah, here's where I might be the a hole.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
I just laughed.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
I don't know what came over me, but the entire
thing was just so ridiculous that laughing was the only
thing I could get out. I told my husband I'd
be waiting in the car and left and then promptly
baled my eyes out. That's sho so upsetting. You should
never kind of force the parent title on a step
kid or you know, a child that you know, sure
it should always be up to their comfortability, but to

(35:56):
have thought that you were a parent figure, yeah, they
were literally like freaking over twenty years, you know, like
twenty three years you thought I see myself as a
parent to the child, this child sees it that way too,
and then to find out in this moment.

Speaker 4 (36:13):
Yeah no, Yeah, that really threw me off because at first,
I like, he said that, oh he wasn't invited. I
was like, wait a second, are they just friends or something?
Because if you're just inviting like close friends and family.
This is family.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
This is family. This is your father's wife. Yeah, and
a person who has been effectively your parent for twenty
three years.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, like what? And this is how you're treating.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Them anyways, Charles, David and Ellie are not talking to Adam.
Adam called my husband yesterday to try and smooth things over.
Adam called my husband yesterday to try and smooth things over.
He was still adamant that I'm not invited and it's
their wedding. He also requested I apologize for laughing at him.
My husband told him, tough crap. It's their wedding and
they can invite whoever they want, but they can't control

(36:55):
who will actually go. He said they owe me an
apology and that Adam should be ashamed of himself. I'm
getting text now asking what the f I did and
why I'm being a step monster and ruining the wedding?

Speaker 4 (37:05):
Am I?

Speaker 1 (37:05):
The ale so clearly not.

Speaker 4 (37:09):
You literally didn't do anything. You did nothing. They were
attacking you and said are you going to ruin your wedding? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (37:15):
When everyone else was defending you, and you went yeah,
okay and then.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
Left yeah and cried Yeah laughing at that is like
a completely valid response. Yeah, Like it's like people forget.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
Like laughter is also just like kind of a shock
response some of Opie's comments. Commoner says, I feel like
there's a lot missing here. You've been married to his
dad since he was eight. That was years of elementary, middle,
high school, college, twenty years? Is his mother living? Did
his fiance influence him? Just seems odd to not invite
his dad's wife of twenty years and call him not family.

(37:47):
I don't think you're the ale, but I just want
to know more about the past twenty years. Opie says,
I'm sorry I had to cut a lot out for
character count to post. When Adam called, my husband did
ask him if I had done anything, if it was
related to bio. Mom never gotten along with us, if
I had overstepped in any way. Adam says, no, it's
just they want family only stepdad is invited. As far
as we know, I was a stay at home mom

(38:08):
for my stepkid's childhood and we had fifty to fifty.
My husband has always worked a lot, but has been
as involved as possible. Thousand child rearing mostly fell to me,
though I love our kids to pieces I thought we
had made it clear from the beginning that I am
Slash was another parent that loves them, not a replacement mom.
We've never had any issues, and I thought up until
now that we were particularly close. Our communication has slowed

(38:31):
since he met Alice, but he was calling me about
once or twice a week prior to this. I feel
like Alice must have influenced in some way. She must
have said, oh, well, like that's not your real mom. Yeah, maybe,
oh maybe it's not my real mom.

Speaker 4 (38:44):
Yeah, maybe like she's got a bad relationship with a
step mom or something and she's projecting or so many
ways as could go.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
It's so big.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
I mean, like a lot of people have that weird
idea that if it's not blood related, then it's not
real family. Maybe she's got like that kind of messed
up and maybe they're just trying to like budget and
using that as an.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
Excuse or something like that.

Speaker 4 (39:04):
Yeah, weird.

Speaker 2 (39:05):
Alice and I have gone shopping on occasion, gotten lunch.
I even went with her to the florist for the
wedding because her mom wasn't available and Adam got called
into work. There has to be something Slash, someone causing
an issue, and my husband and I are baffled. Commoner asks,
is his mom invited Obie's his Yes, yes, as far
as we've heard, stepdad is also invited. What we my

(39:29):
husband and I have never gotten along with mom, but
still play nice as we still have fifty to fifty
of younger step son Ben. Adam and his mom had
a falling out a few years ago as she was
starting to treat him the way she's always treated a
husband and I that is poorly. I don't know how
to nicely explain other than she's a self absorbed person.
Adam hasn't wanted to talk about it much and we
won't push it. I know they talk and visit still,

(39:51):
but how close they are I have no idea. And
Custody of Ben at twenty six, Yes, he's disabled. He
can choose where he's staying as he likes, but mostly
sticks to a fifty to fifty schedule still unless there
is a family event or a vacation. He is pretty independent,
but not able to live on his own. Guardianship is
probably a better word for what we have now instead
of custody. Commoner says, absolutely not the a hole, assuming

(40:14):
you and Adam have gotten along fine until now. It's
absolutely wild that they wouldn't invite you only family and
a few close friends when a stepparent literally counts as
family and the nerve to accuse you of ruining his wedding,
I don't blame you for laughing, Ope responds. It's probably
also relevant, but my husband's parents are long since deceased.
My parents, dad, stepmom and mom have been very involved

(40:37):
with all the kids since they were little. They are
also not going, since if I'm not family, they aren't either.
Were your parents invited and you weren't?

Speaker 4 (40:45):
This makes absolutely no sense.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
Whoa I?

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Honestly I have no idea, like there must have been
some sort of perceived slight that they they think you've
done towards them.

Speaker 4 (40:56):
The only thing I can think of is like, maybe
the bio mom is paying for the wedding, and because
she doesn't really get along with OPI, she's like, no,
you shouldn't invite her, you know.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
What I mean?

Speaker 4 (41:08):
Maybe, but Stilla doesn't really like make that much sense.
It doesn't seem like that's really it.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
My brother and sister in law, their daughter my cousin.
They call him uncle and Several of my other family
members that have been around since stepkids were little have
also dropped. They are up to like twenty people. They
have rescinded their yes RSVP for a wedding of maybe
sixty people.

Speaker 4 (41:31):
Yeah, you really wanted to keep the budget low, so
you know, a good job.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Good job.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
Commoner says, Wait, hold up, your family was invited by
not you, then what the heck did Adam expect when
it came out You're not invited?

Speaker 4 (41:43):
OPI says, that's my family's take. Why are they invited
but I'm not.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
They aren't related to my stepkids by blood either, but
are apparently family. To be fair, my family is larger
than my husband's stepdads and bio moms. My stepkids were
the first grandkids on my side. They were not with
bio mom and dad's family, and we're absolutely spoiled rotten
growing up. Charles is now supposed to meet Adam for
coffee over the weekend. I warned him that truly, I

(42:08):
don't think it's coming from Adam, and to try to
calm about it, Commoner says, what is the nature of
relationship with Adam? Is his mother in the picture? Could
his fiance be in his ear. Opie says, I thought
we were close besides the normal teenager. I don't have
to listen to you bs phase. We have never fought.
We've always had him and been fifty to fifty as
a teen and on. He's butted heads with his mother.

(42:29):
There have been times over the years where Adam has
come to my husband and I and asked questions from
things his mother has said, but we've always been forthcoming
with info. Example of that is that his mom called
me a home wrecker. This upset Adam. Adam came pissed
at us, explained that no, bio mom and dad were
long since broken up and mom even had a fiance
who is not current stepdad. When I met, Dad pulled receipts. Adam,

(42:51):
upset with mom, blew over and onto the next thing.
We still deal with bio mom, though, and I do
have a hard time believing she'd pull something at this point.
Alice and I aren't super close, but I thought that
we had a good relationship. I have always tried to
include her. Sometimes she takes up my offer and sometimes
she doesn't. I know she sees bio Mom quite a bit,
and that side of Adam's family too. She was raised

(43:13):
by our grandparents and does not talk about bioparents often.
Commoner says, how did Ben react to this? At this point,
I probably would not go to the wedding and would
block him and his future wife. They would have to
grovel in order to go. They made it clear they
don't see you as family, so you don't need to
do anything for them going forward, hope, He responds. Ben
was very upset and confused. He is autistic, so what

(43:36):
exactly the argument was about doesn't quite click, but he's
mostly upset. Adam says, I'm not their parent, and his
siblings are all fighting. We've sat him down since and
explained that I love him dearly and will never go anywhere.
All of us love Adam and are just hurt, and
that he himself can choose to go to the wedding
or not. He doesn't have to choose size, and we
will still love him if he goes. Honestly, he probably will.

(43:58):
He loves cake and dancing.

Speaker 4 (43:59):
Oh well. He seems to be doing just fine since
he hasn't asked about Adam, but will go to see
his mom's tomorrow and probably see him there. More info
on everyone's relationship. It was hard to include every bit
of context in the post because of the character limit.
But I quit my job when Charles was six months old.
Adam would have been eight almost nine.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
No affair. I met my husband when he'd been divorced
for over a year. Biomom was engaged to someone else.
If you ask their biomom, she'll say I always overstepped.
If you ask her how, she'll give examples like I
went to school events, so did stepdad, I help with homework,
I spent too much time with him. She would thank
me for loving her kids so much, and then turn
around and brate my husband for me loving kids that

(44:39):
aren't hers too much. Another example is that in the
beginning she wanted to communicate with me directly. More said
she loved the communication and that I was easier to
deal with than my husband. Next argument with my husband,
she brought up that I was weird and too involved
and she shouldn't have to talk to me whatsoever. I
haven't talked to her since. Periodically she has brought up
that I was easier to talk to and she does

(45:00):
understand why communication just had to go through my husband.
After several years of trying to appease her. We quit
to just focus on keeping our family happy and support it.
It's been twenty three years now of dealing with her.
I've been to therapy multiple times to resolve whatever issues
she says I have. It did help with strategies to
deal with her. Truly, it's just that she has mental issues.
Their dad did work a lot. He has always been

(45:22):
on nights. It's changed slightly over the years, but we
have step kids Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every other Monday. His
days off have always fallen on those days so he
can spend the max amount of time with them. But
usually he worked one to two of those nights. Very
rarely would he work on days we had my step kids,
usually on days we didn't. We still currently try to

(45:44):
do dates on days when Ben is not with us.
I hope that makes sense and clears up some questions
for you. There are so many comments she's Louise Commoner says,
are Alice's parents still together as she assumed, you're some
kind of evil stepmother. Does she have a bad relationship
with her stepmom and doesn't want to invite her hope,
He says, her mom and dad are her grandparents. She
hasn't talked about it much with me specifically, but her

(46:07):
bio mom is deceased substances and her biofather's in prison.
She talked about it some with my husband, who was
adopted by his aunt and uncle father not in the picture,
and mother passed away from twen he was four. My
stepmom is also talked with her at one point because
she too was adopted by her grandparents for similar reason.
It just adds to our confusion. We have such a

(46:27):
mix of types of family, regardless of blood that my
mother in law has been laying it on thick that
I need to smooth things over because family is family,
and I'm the parent, so it's my responsibility to fix it.
But if I'm not ready to talk to Adam, and
we're gonna pause there because there was a big old infodom,
a lot of information, any thoughts just like processing all that. Yeah,

(46:48):
like that kind of is feeding into my theory.

Speaker 4 (46:52):
Of it being like the bio mom kind of convincing
Adam in a way. You know, I still don't know
if I have enough evidence for that to be true.
But if the bio mom clearly doesn't like Ope even
more than I thought before then I would not be surprised.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
If she was saying all this stuff to at least
be alist. Yeah, but no, Yeah, it really doesn't make sense.
Why because before we said, oh, maybe you know, she's
got that type of idea that like, oh, it's only
blood related, but clearly they're inviting everyone else who was
not blood related. Has a close relationship with Opie's like parents,
sees them as grandparents. Alice comes from like a non

(47:26):
traditional family background herself, So you know, it really doesn't
make sense to me. The only thing that does make
sense is your idea of the bio mom being somehow
yeah right, like weasling her way in Yeah edit.

Speaker 4 (47:42):
Sorry my mother lol. My mother in law is deceased.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
And one more thoughts, Adam will always be my first son,
whether he thinks of me as his mom or not.

Speaker 4 (47:51):
I thought we had been.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
Pretty clear throughout the years that I love him regardless
of what he thinks of me, and that my involvement
extends to whatever he wants of me and fair non
negotiables mostly safety things chores is dat agreed on. When
I asked that kind of thing, I couldn't get in
with my therapist. This week, but I do have an
appointment next week and we will try to formulate a
well thought out response back. I am certainly not a

(48:15):
perfect person or parent, but I won't intentionally sabotage him Further.
I do love a good revenge story, but that's not
it when it comes to my kids. I've talked to
the youngest three and they have reassured me that it's
their choice whether or not they go, and I won't
push them on it. I have been reminding them that
he is still their brother, and it doesn't sound like him,
mostly for Charles. He is very outspoken and protective. Charles

(48:38):
is supposed to meet with him this weekend and I'm
hoping we get some clear answers from that and there
is an update five days later. Okay, final thoughts before
we jump into it.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
I'm just ready to roll right in.

Speaker 4 (48:53):
I just need to know why, and we need solutions.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
We have so much information, for real, except for why
Adam and Alice did this.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
I feel like.

Speaker 4 (49:02):
They're just dangling it in front of us, like I
don't know, Yeah, I don't know, why would they do?
I wish I pulled the freaking Scooby Doo mask off already.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
Yeah, I need to know.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
Update.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
The short is, if you guessed it was related to
Bio Mom, you were correct.

Speaker 4 (49:18):
Woo. You nail that.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
You nail that, Angie, we nailed that.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Whoo.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
I didn't want this to be the case. Adam rescheduled
with Charles for Monday, citing Easter weekend fair enough. He
also texted my husband to let him know that him
and Alice would be doing Easter with her parents. We
expected that. At some point on Sunday, Elie texted Alice.
I'm not sure what exactly was said, but it prompted
Alice to spill everything that was going on with her parents.

(49:43):
I have met them a few times, but they live
a few hours away. They encouraged her and Adam to
reach out to us to clear everything up. Monday, we
dropped Ben off to Bio Moms. He stayed in extra
night for Easter fun. A few hours later, she began
to blow up my husband's phone. As Ben mentioned the fight.
My husband answered one call and she was screaming and
promptly hung up. He texted her that the siblings argued

(50:05):
everything's fine and that if Ben has any further questions,
we will talk about it. When he's back with us.
For some of the things she texted, we knew she
was the root of all this.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
There we go.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
Monday, Adam also met up with Charles and he did
come clean. Charles texted us to see if it was
okay if they came over after, and we said yes,
I'm not gonna lie. Adam looked a mess. He immediately
began crying and apologizing. The shortened suite of it is
that he's been trying to mend bridges with bio Mom.
Their wedding isn't sixty people, it's blown up to about

(50:36):
double that, and they've been struggling to figure out how
to pay for it. At one of their visits, Alice
let slip and bio Mom jump to help pay for things. Yeah,
and then that goes into now I have control over
your wedding, and you have to choose the people that
I want there.

Speaker 4 (50:50):
See, we've read too many of these stories. We just
know it's slowly snowballed from there, from small requests to
big requests. I'm not sure what the final nail in
the coffin was, but it ended with bio Mom requesting
I not be there. Adam said it was easier to
hurt me than risk world War three.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
With his mom. By the way, it would be.

Speaker 4 (51:09):
World War three.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
If you don't listen to full episodes of stories just
like this, just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio
and search a book the story.

Speaker 4 (51:17):
Time or else we declare declare war on you.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
Any final thoughts before we finish this story off, now
that we finally have the truth, I've freaking told you,
freaking I've told you called it so too accurately.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
Yeah, there's just so many stories again with like the
parents or whoever paying for it now has like it's
usually control over the guest.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
List that is the most common. Yeah. So yeah, I'm
not surprised.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
I'm glad that things are now coming to you know,
we're getting a solution on a light. Yeah, Adam knows.
Adam feels bad. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Adam's now you You're good. I forgive you. I you know, I.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
Personally forgive you. I don't know about Adam, I mean,
I don't know about Ope. Yeah, I think this is
definitely something that you can come back from, Adam, Like,
you just have to have a conversation and then hopefully
maybe everyone will come back to his wedding. Absolutely, but
let's see what Adam does. Alice's parents were less than
pleased to find out how they've been with the wedding
and budget, and even less so at bio Mom's antics.

(52:18):
They're trying to figure out how to start covering the
payments BioBomb is made. We've decided to help some with this.
Adam also asked if we could meet again in a
few days with Alice, and we've said yes. There is
still a lot of ground to cover for this to
be close to mended. I am still hurt, but mostly
I'm angry on behalf of my oldest son. And that
is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Wow, good ending. It's not over yet, but we're on
the way to figuring it all out.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
Yeah that's all you can ask for.

Speaker 4 (52:45):
Absolutely. Absolutely. I love a story with a solution at
the end. To me, too nice, But that is the
end of that story.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Hey it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (53:00):
Ter his boyfriend makes the family uncomfortable, but she sees
nothing wrong. Well, get her out of there.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
Trigger warning.

Speaker 4 (53:06):
This does talk about emotionally relationships, so if that's going
to affect you in a negative way, please.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Just scooch on to the next video.

Speaker 4 (53:14):
Okay, so let me start off by saying, my older
sister has never been very mature, but she has always
been fun to be around, even if she hasn't been
the best role model. By the way, this comes from
a suitcase under each eye. And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the our slash owcase
storytime except credit. So last February, she seemed to be
really changing for the better. She started working out, seeing

(53:35):
a therapist, broke up with her harmful boyfriend, and was
all around starting to take better care of herself. We
were thrilled. She and I have never been very close
because we were polar opposites when it comes to personality.
I'm outgoing and outspoken and she's painfully shy and insecure.
But we finally began forming an adult relationship and I
was so happy to have the kind of older sister
that I could look up to. Two months later, she

(53:57):
meets this guy Jerry, and things go downhill fast. She
starts pulling away from the family, claiming that she's a
black sheep and we don't understand her.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
Like he does.

Speaker 4 (54:07):
She starts picking fights over the tiniest things, stop working out,
stop seeing her therapist, and stops putting any effort into anything.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
But him super concerning.

Speaker 4 (54:16):
One of the things that really set this all into motion,
I think, was that my mom had booked a beach
house vacation for everyone and asked for just family. My
sister through a huge fit, screaming and crying, asking why
our older sister's husband of seven years was allowed to
go but not her new boyfriend. My parents tried to
be as understanding as possible and handled it as best
they could, but I think she got it into her

(54:37):
head that they left him out on purpose. Keep in mind,
my younger sister and I also had boyfriends who weren't
allowed to come. Also, my parents had paid for the
house and her plane ticket because she had told them
that she couldn't afford to come otherwise. In the past year,
things have gotten only worse. There have been a couple
of instances I'd like to highlight. Specifically, first time we
met him, we all went out for a trip to

(54:57):
the lake. I tried paddleboarding for the first time, but
ended up falling and injuring my hand. I started crying,
and he asked to see it. I showed him my hand,
which was already swelling and bleeding, which he took into
his and proceeded to smack it pretty forcefully. That's not
medically advised. No, so here, I'll fix it bam. Then

(55:17):
he and my sister started cackling while I began to sob,
and my dad took me to the er. He did
not apologize, even after finding out it had been severely spring.
It's a monster, and my mom and little sister stayed
with him over night. He walked into the guest room
without knocking while my mom was changing and wearing just
a braw and underwear. She was startled and asked him
to leave, but he said that it wasn't a big

(55:38):
deal because she was basically in a bathing suit. He
then hugged her and left the room.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
I'm sorry if that ever happened to like, I'm trying
to think, like this is my dad, or like this
happened to my mom. Yeah, my dad freaking growing him
absolutely No, Oh no, my god, incredibly inappropriate, dude, I'm shocked.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
Oh oh.

Speaker 4 (56:03):
While my sister twenty went to stay with them, she
witnessed him yelling inappropriate things at women jogging while they
were driving to a restaurant, and when they returned to
my older sister's apartment, Jerry tried to bully my younger
sister in a smoking devil's let us with him. When
my pregnant older sister met them at a Christmas party,
he stood over her and wouldn't move until she got
up to give him a hug. At the same party,

(56:23):
he drank six to eight in about two hours and
then decided that he needed to leave to drive back home.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
That's what I'm calling the police. Hello, police, m h
got a drunk driver on the road.

Speaker 1 (56:34):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
He was adamant that only he could drive them home,
even with my mom and uncle encouraging my sister to
drive instead. My dad wasn't there at the time. He
met my best friend of twenty years for thirty minutes,
and then proceeded to speculate that he was on substances
and a junkie because he went to the bathroom twice
between us going to lunch and leaving the restaurant. When
my sister had her baby, he refused to sit to

(56:56):
hold the child, insisting that he was fine.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
And accusing us of thinking that he he was too
not to drop him.

Speaker 4 (57:01):
I went to visit my sister, and before I left,
he insisted on hugging me. I tried to be friendly
and went in for a hug. He then proceeded to
squeeze and shake me. I told him over and over
that he was making me uncomfortable, but he wouldn't put
me down. He took a long, nosey whiff of my
hair before I finally shoved myself away from him, and
he started laughing at my obvious discomfort. I'm so disgusted,

(57:24):
Oh my gosh. I looked to my sister for support,
and instead she told me that his hobby was to
go up to strangers and sniff their hair and then
challenge them if they acted uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
You're a freak.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
And also just totally bypassing people's rounderies. No, it's harassment,
absolutely well full on, as people.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
Who like enjoy making other people uncomfortable, just the worst
have to stay away from them because worst people. It's
not funny. No, it's just so creepy.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Yeah, no, really really not okay, And unfortunately, some part
of improving this situation is you standing up for yourself
and saying don't touch me, get off me. Do not
be afraid to say do not touch me.

Speaker 1 (58:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:05):
He got into a huge row with my aunt about
vaccines and how bad they are and unnecessary. Wow, shocking,
that's what he believes. My sister just sat there and
twiddled her thumbs. Keep in mind, my dad used to
make vaccines.

Speaker 1 (58:16):
Oh wow.

Speaker 4 (58:17):
When my sister came to us at the one time
this year, he called her in a panic about how
his brother was passed away from a construction accident, and
it turned into his brother's friend who had passed away
and his brother was going to lose his leg. Then
it was his brother's legs that were just broken. Then
it was his brother was totally fine and was being
discharged from the hospital. This all occurred in the span

(58:39):
of twenty four hours that she was with us. There
is so much more, but I could go on forever,
and I don't really think that it's necessary. He lies
about everything and then changes his stories than when he's
caught he gets insanely defensive. My sister refuses to talk
about it, even when we've tried to approach her about
these issues calmly and rationally. She instead sees the fault
in us, claiming that we're elitist and trying to take

(59:00):
her away from her one true love. She has made
it clear in the past month that if we do
not accept him, we do not accept her, and that
she is willing to cut all contact with us to
preserve her relationship with him. At this point, I have
lost all respect for my sister. She's always been immature,
but in the past year she has turned into a
manipulative bully. My parents have tried talking to her. They
exchanged emails because she refuses to talk on the phone,

(59:22):
but she won't hear a single negative word about him.
She keeps attacking my parents like it's their fault. She
refuses to respond to their emails now, but continues to
send hurtfull, malicious emails to them. Is there any way
to save this relationship without completely ostracizing her? And there
is an update? But what do we think?

Speaker 2 (59:40):
I don't even know. I mean, at that point you've
talked about it. I think it's just telling her, hey,
like we love and support you. Yeah, but it's also like,
you know, prioritizing your safety.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
Absolutely, there's only so much you can do before she
has to make that final step herself. Yeah, So like,
don't put yourself at risk in the process.

Speaker 4 (59:58):
Yeah, because I don't really think this is necessarily her
being immature. I think it's very common for in situations
like this, for like if she's you know, attacking the
family or like insulting these people or whatever, and you know,
any little thing that they do is an insult to
her and her boyfriend, it's very common for that to
be the boyfriend like talking that into her. And then

(01:00:19):
I mean he's probably saying all the things that she's
saying to them. Absolutely if he's saying these things, then
it's probably like, oh, if you don't defend me, then
then you're just as bad or something like that. So
she's probably just trying to do whatever she can to
like appease the boyfriend me because she's in this manipulative relationship.
But we do have an update, So thanks to everyone

(01:00:42):
who responded to the original post. Your advice was appreciated
and I really.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
Did try to follow it well.

Speaker 4 (01:00:46):
I wish I could say that my sister has come
around and everything is better, but in fact, everything is
much much worse since my last post two months ago.
My sister has moved and won't tell us where, is
refusing to talk to my parents, specifically my mom, and
when well as sisters meet up to hang out, she
does a complete one eighty whenever any of this trouble
with Jerry is brought up. My younger sisters and I
have decided to cut contact with her because her behavior

(01:01:09):
and anger directed towards our parents is unacceptable. It's also
come out recently that she has said some pretty hurtful
things about all of us, including that my older sister
and her husband are only married because of their son,
and that she thinks that it would have been better
if my parents had stopped having kids after her so
that they could have paid for her college and all
of her needs. I don't really understand how you can
wish people in your family had never been born. I

(01:01:31):
would maybe understand if she was joking or said it
once out of anger, but she's said it multiple times
and seemed serious every time. My oldest sister, thirty one female,
is keeping in contact with her. Now we think that
she's the only one allowed to see my sister because
Jerry thinks that my older sister likes it. My oldest
sister and her husband can't stand Jerry, but want to
act as the bridge in case my sister ever comes

(01:01:52):
to her senses. I don't know how much of my
sister's behavior is influenced by Jerry or if this is
just her deciding to be cruel, but these past couple
of months have been really My parents tried to keep
everything civil, but my sister seems to have this anger
in her. She's taken to Facebook pretty juvenile, I know,
with declarations of being happy for the first time in
her life and verbally attacking family and friends who post

(01:02:12):
anything that doesn't agree with her opinions wholeheartedly. She's really
isolating herself from my family and all but two of
her friends. They approve of Jerry, so they're welcome in
her life anyway. My mom is done with her behavior.
My sister took a trip to Iceland, and when my
mom asked her how it was, my sister went off
about how she's still upset that the family hates Jerry,
that she doesn't want to associate with us if we
can't accept everything about him.

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
She wouldn't even.

Speaker 4 (01:02:34):
Listen when my mom asked her to explain his behavior.
She was completely irrational and said some terrible things to
intentionally hurt my mom's feeling. I think my dad is
still hoping that she'll come to her senses. He gets
really defensive when any of us bring her up. He's
always felt a special attachment to my sister because they're
the only lefties in the family, and my sister has
tried so hard to be like him. I understand that,

(01:02:54):
but I think that he's hoping for a day that
will never come. Personally, I think my sister is comfortable
and harmful relationships. She's always been a very manipulative person,
and she's always wanted to be the black sheep of
the family. Now with Jerry, she has more of an
excuse than ever. I think she's too arrogant of a
person to even realize how wrong she is about Jerry.

Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
By the way, you.

Speaker 4 (01:03:15):
Will never be wrong about finding full episodes with more
stories just like this one on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or
iHeartRadio or your favorite podcast app. Just search. Okay, storytime,
do it, do it, man, There's still a little bit
more in the story.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
But holy crap.

Speaker 4 (01:03:32):
Yeah, I mean sad, very sad, very sad, very sad.
It's good that your older sister is still like keeping contact.
Mm hmm. Yeah, that's kind of a big sacrifice on
her end. Yeah, that's yeah. But that's good though, because
maybe eventually, either she'll realize that she needs to get
out of the relationship or he will get tired of
her or something like that, and yeah, leave and she'll

(01:03:54):
have someone to fall back on. But there is a
little bit more to the story, for sure. If it
seems like I have a lot of animosity towards my sister,
because she has been intentionally cruel to my family and
our family friends these past couple of months. She said
a lot of hurtful things to the people who have
been so good to her, including to a friend who
is dealing with and doesn't have time.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
For her crap.

Speaker 4 (01:04:13):
And I think even if we are able to forgive her,
we aren't going to forget Meanwhile, Jerry hasn't tried to
contact us and help clear up any misunderstanding. I'm sure
he's just enjoying watching my sister implode. And that is
the end of that story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} I PROPOSED to my best friend’s bully… it did not go well! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2163