I REFUSE to share a room with my father’s girlfriend's daughter… but she won't back down! - r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2273 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your
warm embrace. Dear Sam, such it has since we started
the Okay Storytell podcast. Yes, and I have a message
for you, a delicious story that I think you'll love.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Sincerely Sam. But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak
must happen, I bid thee farewell. See you in two minutes.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
I refuse to share a room with my father's girlfriend's daughter,
but she won't back down.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Classic father girlfriend daughter story.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
So I twenty two females, still live with my dad
by choice. My mom passed away when I was five,
and it's just been the two of us ever since.
He never dated anyone until now, and honestly, I'm proud
of him for finally opening up again.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
His new girlfriend seems nice enough, and I want him
to be happy.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
By the way, this comes from Unrealistic Boo And if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay Storytime. Sub Brittete So she has three kids,
a son eighteen male, an older daughter twenty nine female
who doesn't live with her, and a young daughter, ten female. Recently,
they've been spending more time at her house and now

(01:06):
they're officially moving in. For context, we live in a
three bedroom house. My dad as the master bedroom, I've
had my own room my entire life, and the third
bedroom and the third bedroom is currently a guest room,
home office, and storage combo.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
We also have a spacious basement and.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
An attic, both mostly filled with old stuff, some of
it my mom's, but nothing that can't be moved or reorganized.
I'm a full time UNI student and I also work
part time at a restaurant. I get a small monthly
allowance from my dad, classic Indian dad behavior, lol, but
I still make my own money and support myself as
much as I can while I study. I even paid

(01:43):
him fifty dollars in rent, which is the most he'd
lent me give. I tried offering more, but he refused,
So I'm not freeloading.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
I pull my weight.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Here's the issue. My dad told me that the ten
year old would be sharing my room. So it is
the miner as I suspected, as in, I'm supposed to
give up my privacy, routine and personal space to suddenly
share it with the fourth grader. I just don't think
it's appropriate for the fourth grader to be living with
this twenty two year old who she doesn't really know.
And here's the thing. She's not a bad kid, but

(02:15):
she's loud, high energy, and constantly wants attention.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
She's dead. I just don't. I don't think that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
If it doesn't the twenty two year old and the
ten year old, their interests do not blind.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
She talks NonStop, touches things without asking, and doesn't really
understand boundaries yet ten she'll go through my drawers, try
on my stuff, and bargin every in bargin even when
I'm clearly doing schoolwork or trying to nap. She's very
clingy with me too, probably because I'm the closest in
age among the women in the house.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
But it's draining.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
I tried being patient and nice, but I'm already struggling
to juggle school work and life. Sharing a room with
someone who wakes up early, makes noise, and doesn't understand
personal space would seriously affect my mental health and productivity. Also,
my dad actually agrees with me. He knows it's not
fair to ask me to give up my space, and
he's been trying to talk to his girlfriend about putting

(03:08):
her in the guest room instead. Yes, are we crazy? Yes?

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Why are we talking? But girlfriend? Why? Why is why?
Is that not the immediate solution.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
I think she's probably like I want her to feel
like accepted.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
I don't want to feel like Jesus just don't want
me to get closer.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
This is not the way to do that. You're basically
turning him into like jail cell exactly.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
He also suggested that her son take the basement or attic,
and her son is completely fine with that. In fact,
he likes the idea of having the basement to himself
and said he could even turn it into his own space.
So it's not like anyone's protesting except his mom.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, that's like the opinion of every guy ever.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
But she still insists that her son needs his own
room and doesn't want her son in the basement for
reasons I honestly don't understand. She's not hearing anyone out,
including my dad. Meanwhile, I'm just expected to step aside
and give up the room I've had all my life,
like it's no big deal. I didn't ask for this
new setup. I'm trying to be supportive, but I also

(04:09):
didn't expect to be pushed out aside in my own
home just because my dad's starting a new chapter. I
don't hate the little girl, not at all. But I
also don't think it's fair for a twenty two year
old university student with a job to be rooming with
a ten year old who doesn't respect boundaries or understand
what quiet time means. It's not a minor in inconvenience.

(04:30):
It's a huge shift in my day to day life.
I just don't understand why they're putting these two people
together when they.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Have the room not to That is the big question.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
It's gotta be some kind of sentimental, emotional, maybe appeal.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
It's not a minor in convenience.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
It's a huge shift in my day to day Actually,
that's exactly what it is.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
So am I the ale consensus? No, I would say
definitely not. Yeah, No, of course you're not. You're what
you're own the room.

Speaker 3 (04:59):
I think we I saw a couple comments, not after
we learned that it was a ten year old, but
I saw a couple of comments saying like, oh, well,
she can move out. Sure she is a university student.
Her dad has said, I want you to be able
to live here. I don't want you to pay et cetera.
And it just doesn't make sense in general for a
ten year old to be rooming with a twenty two

(05:19):
year old.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
That's especially when there's more space.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
Yes, commenters say to talk to her dad. Some also
point out it is inappropriate for a ten year old
to share a room with an adult. Others also say, oh,
pe should move into the basement themselves and put a
lock on the door. But then Opee has to give
up her room, which I still think is unfair for
her to have to leave the room that she's grown
up in.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
A couple people think the girlfriend wants.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
Her to move out, or that Ope should just move
out and avoid the drama.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
And there is an update, folks, it.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Seems pretty clear that the dad's going to prioritize his
daughter over you.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
Well, I think I think it's a little bit strange
that the dad isn't putting his foot downe a little
bit and saying like, hey, I understand that we're blending
the families, but like, this is my daughter's house as
much it is yours, and that's her room.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Update.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Some comments pointed something out my dad's girlfriend wants me out,
and the ones that told me to sit down with
my dad and talk to him privately, just us.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
I did so.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
This morning we went out for breakfast and I told
him I don't feel comfortable sharing my room. I don't
want to share my room. I told him I'm not
taking the attic or basement either. Listen to My room
was mine since I was a baby, so why would
I want to give it to someone else. He was
a bit hurt about this since I didn't actually tell
him how I felt about this whole ordeal.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
What a you're telling him now?

Speaker 3 (06:36):
My dad was born in India and is an only child,
while my mother had four brothers, so you can already
tell how the dynamic was like. My mom's parents favored
her brothers more than her blah blah blah, and my
dad didn't like that. He was twenty two when they
got married. He moved to Canada with my mom two
and twenty two and nineteen. Yes, it was a love marriage.

(06:57):
My dad got a job and went to school, started
his own business and took my mom to school and
they got financially stable. My mom got her degree in
medicine and my dad an accountant. They had me at
thirty and twenty seven. I was five when my mom
passed away. My dad is a bit of an irrational person,
not in a bad way, but when you piss him
off reguarding someone he cares deeply about, he's quick to

(07:20):
cut you off. My dad's girlfriend is forty three and
her eldest child is twenty nine two. You can do
the math anyway. After talking to my dad, he was
kind of pissed off at how blind he'd been, and
he was fuming. We went back home and you will
not believe what we saw. His girlfriend already moved her

(07:41):
daughter's clothes from the guest room to mine, and that
lit the fuse.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yikes.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
I started screaming at her not to touch anything in
my room. I honestly should have listened to those who
told me to put a lock on my door. My
dad intervened, told me to take the kids out of
the house, and they started arguing. Long story short, my
dad broke up with her. Wow he does not play
about you, girl. That's good, I guess.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
Well, yeah, Like like she said, it's like you mess
with the wrong people, he will cut you off.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
And it turns out she had lost her house to
debt and had nowhere else to go and she was
after my dad's money, but my dad was what she
described as stingy, as he didn't buy or anything.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
I cackled that that's hair is old. His tie weich
song has sold his rhyme. She just wants the money.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
We changed the locks as she printed out her own keys,
her own copy of the keys, and later got a
call from her ex husband, the baby daddy at the
ten year old, saying we should have kept her with us,
as she's now staying with him and his wife and
other kids, so it's now.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
A crowded house.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Sorry.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Her ex called you. I was like, why didn't you?
Why didn't you kick her out? Now she's back with me.
I feel like my dad dodged the bo there.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, they were dating for a few months and all
this happened in a span of one day. Whoa good day,
Dian After a few months, Good day, good dad.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Do you have any fintal thoughts invest in locks for
your doors?

Speaker 3 (09:10):
Yeah? And also, you know, if you got kids, if
you're trying to blend your family, make sure you're not
forcing your kids into each other's lives.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Ye.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
That's not gonna be an effective way to make them friends.
It's also sad that he didn't date after my mom
passed away. I forgot this is his first girlfriend after
literally like not dating for freaking like oh like almost
twenty years.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Wow, well you got you got the mulligan out of
the way. Now you can find the real one.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
Yeah. And when he finally tried to, this is what happened.
My dad says it's best he stays a single widower.
No low keys, sad, but that's his decision. He needs therapy, dude.
Sometimes those people can be really cool though, you know,
also to mediocre prompt telling me to move out because
I'm twenty five, I'm twenty two, read and I don't
want to move out yet. There's no such thing as
it's time to move out when you have a great

(09:56):
relationship with your parents. Day. I'll move out when I want.
See how I said, I'll choose to stay with my dad. Yeah,
it's a choice. I can move out any time. But
guess what I choose. Yeah, choose. It's a choice not
to move out. Maybe after I graduate i'll move But honestly,
I hate being alone, so I don't know. Edit.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Oh my gosh, can y'all stop telling me move out?
I genuinely don't want to be that, and my dad
doesn't either. They move out. Telling me to move just
because of a girlfriend is diabolical.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Move out.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
My name is in the title deed, so I own
the house too. It's in my house. I have every
right to say no, I'll move out, for sure.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
But what I feel like it I'm not a lazy
bump that doesn't know how to take care of herself.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
I shirt my weight around here. I'm paying fifty bucks
in rent. I choose to stay with my dad. Why
is that so look down upon?

Speaker 3 (10:35):
Let get someone stay with their parents not because of circumstances,
but by choice.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Because you're living in Canada, sweetie. We don't play around.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
With that or failure if you're not out of your parents'
house by twenty one. Oh and I don't believe that
that's a Joe pe oh p is so wow.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
It's okay, you can live with your dad. I'm not
judging you. It is the thing.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
We've talked about it many times. I'm not judging Yopie
in this go live with your Dad hemisphere. It's like,
very strange, but.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Folks, yeah, that was the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
I'm so happy that Opie's dad stood up for her
and they're going to.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Live with each other forever.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
My boyfriend is going to a cabin alone with another
woman despite my objections.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
Oh, this is the cabin of lone.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
My Eggs twenty five male at the time and I
twenty five female at the time, started as friends at
work and our relationship was great. He was my best friend,
but issues came up with his longtime female friends. They'd say,
I love you, set on each other's laps, touch each
other in ways I felt were inappropriate. Despite expressing my
discomfort and asking him to set boundaries, he couldn't, so

(11:38):
I message the women myself out of frustration, which blew
up the situation. By the way, this comes from upper
class habits. And if you want to spit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime separate it so
fast forward. My current boyfriend, thirty one male and I
twenty nine female now, also started as close work friends
and developed a strong mutual relationship. We've been friends now

(11:58):
for eight months, officially dating for four months. He's a kind,
giving person and sees serving others as part of his faith,
which I admire. But a situation with his female friend,
Olivia thirty female is bringing back those same feelings of
being second. Olivia, who lives in another state, my boyfriend's
home state where he moved from almost a year ago

(12:19):
and knows about me, invited herself for his birthday weekend
this Memorial Day weekend and booked a cabin just for
the two of them Friday to Monday. She's shown no
interest in meeting me, and though I was initially supportive,
I now feel excluded and confused. That's weird. That is weird.
She booked a cabin just for the two of them

(12:40):
for his birthday week like no one else gets to
see him for his whole week of his birthday day
through Monday. He said multiple times that he doesn't even
want to go, that he feels trapped. Suspects she might
have romantic feelings and wouldn't normally hang out with her
this long, but he's going anyway because he feels bad.
She has chronic health issues and recently lost her doll.
I'm angry and sad. I don't expect to be the

(13:03):
center of anyone's universe, but I can't understand why he'd
prioritize someone he doesn't even seem close to over me,
especially when I've been clear about how this impacts me.
I want to be understanding and supportive, but I also
want to feel respected and prioritized. How do I approach
this without trying to control the situation or sacrificing my
own emotional well being? And there are some comments and

(13:26):
an update, But what say you invite yourself?

Speaker 4 (13:29):
She invited herself, then you could do the same, be like, hey,
cabin for a weekend. That sounds like a great way
to spend time with each other and.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
For me to beat her. Yeah, I think you'd go
to your boyfriend. You say, yeah, I would love to go.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
And then if she's like, oh, well it's just supposed
to be the two of us, then you're like, oh, okay,
so why so yeah? Why is it just supposed to
be the two of you for your whole birthday weekend?

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah? Like you're going to a cabin.

Speaker 4 (13:54):
Usually if you're like going away or something like that,
you are planning activities, you have any activities played?

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, what's going on beside cabin doing each other? Ooh?

Speaker 3 (14:05):
Commentor if he feels trapped and has suspicions, then it
seems like a trap.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Therefore you ought to go too. It's his birthday weekend.
Why wouldn't you be there? Good luck? Opie says. She
told him that she doesn't want.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
To be put in a position to have to explain
her chronic health conditions to someone she doesn't know. Mind you,
her entire health history is regularly posted about on her
public Facebook and doesn't want to have to pretend she's
okay when she isn't. I speculate this might be more
in regards to her potential feelings about he and I
being together. Commoner says, So he feels bad if he

(14:37):
disappoints her, but is okay with disappointing you. That tells
you all you need to know about his potential as
your boyfriend. Opie says, See, I don't know if it's
about disappointing her so much as he And this is
going to sound awful because it is sees her as somewhat.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Of a charity case.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
If he thinks he's in a position to help someone
he wants to. But I think she's unnecessarily leaning on
him as a primary support even though, oh, she has
so much support locally, and he's enabling her behavior by
agreeing to this, Commoner says, he's still putting her before you.
It's especially bad since you said he suspects she's interested
in him romantically.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
This is his chance to set her straight.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
Instead, his behavior is keeping her engaged and Opie says,
that was my thought, but I was dreading the facts.
Connor says, maybe try telling him the truth that if
he goes on this trip, it'll be the end of
your relationship. If you won't put her in her place,
even when he's uncomfortable, then she'll always be around. You
really want to put up with her forever. It's only
been four months and you can already see it coming.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
Is it worth it?

Speaker 3 (15:35):
Ope says I don't think so, and I think this
is definitely proving to be a litmus test. I can't
stand to be someone who doesn't learn from her past experiences.
Comeder says he thinks she has a romantic feelings for him.
He doesn't want to disappoint her, and it's his birthday.
Agreeing to a weekend in a cabin alone with her
will do nothing to help the situation. He's okay with
disappointing you run, don't walk away from him. Yes, it's

(15:58):
only been four months, but he's in a relationship. He
shouldn't be spending the week and alone with someone that
has feelings for him, especially when that someone isn't his girlfriend. Oh,
he responds, funny enough, He and I have both talked
about how there's no win heck, he'd ever be with
someone like her romantically. His last girlfriend of seven years
also cheated on him, so he is literally no tolerance
for cheating.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
So I'm actually not worried about that at all.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
It's purely the disrespect I feel from her, whether intentional
or not, and his seeming disregard for my feelings. Given
that I've expressed all of this to him, I don't
want to be the person to tell him to do
the wienerish thing and cancel last minute, even though I
was almost willing to suggest I pay her for his
half the cabin so he wouldn't need to go. Commonero says,
no offense, But you are being so naive. Are you

(16:42):
sure his ex really cheated on him? If he was
cheated on, he wouldn't try to downplay what it means
spending days with another woman alone. He's going to a
romantic getaway with a woman who he knows has feelings
for him. She may not be his type. That wouldn't
stop most guys from sleeping with a woman. Though, you
need to pay attention to his actions rather than his words.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
He's playing both of you. Who knows what he's saying
about you to her?

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Is she being told that you are a charity case?
Opie says, I'm confident about his ex cheating for many reasons,
and I think that's why he didn't say no, because
he knows nothing would happen in that regard. So he
thinks it's a non issue to go because I have
nothing to worry about. Again, that was never my concern,
and I think his past experience is giving him tunnel
vision on the issue being cheating, rather than the disrespect

(17:26):
of the entire situation. And there is a mini update
in response to a commoner of saying, she's really stretching
for excuses for him. So I just got the diagnosis
from the doctor. It turns out that I actually suffer
from a chronic condition called delusion. There is an update.
Though I offered potential solutions, I offered compromises, I was
clear with what was actually bothering me and that I

(17:47):
would never put him in this position. I told him
he would be so incredibly hurt and rightfully so if
I did this to him. I told him he could
decide for himself what he wants to do, and I
told him what I wouldn't be tolerating from a partner
ignored and agreed that everything I was saying was true.
Then he went, He's like, yeah, I totally agreed that
it would be disrespectful if I went, so I will

(18:08):
be going yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
And that's when you say, Okay, I'm out of there.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
Because he wants to get out of the habit of
being so flaky and he made a commitment, so he
has to go.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
I want to know, like if he's making any plans
with Ope for his birthday, Like, is this the only
thing He's going to be doing for the.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
Thoughts about Ope's plan, I just worry.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
I feel like there's like less to this story that
I'm happy with.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
I need.

Speaker 4 (18:31):
I really hope that the rest of the story has
like some kind of answer.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
I sure hope.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
So, oh, he's just like this, the boyfriend leaves and
she's just like, okay, yeah, I texted him that I'll
always love him now only as a friend. Like I
told him from the very beginning. Now I'm not even
sure I can or want to. Love is a choice.
The opposite of love is indifference, and he's all but
told me he's indifferent to me, both as a partner
and as a friend. Thanks for the tough love.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
Let it.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
I'd rather be angry at him, at myself for not
seeing this coming, then be sad when he's feeling absolutely
nothing and edit to add yes, I ended it.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
Oh right, yeah, wow.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
I can't even think about him or the situation without
being angry. I look forward to when the anger turns
to indifference. In some of Opie's comments, Bomitter says, good
on you, Opie. Did he respond to your text? Sorry,
but there's no way that he did was the right choice.
He dismissed your feelings completely. He never gave a crap.
Opie says. He very ignorantly replied, does this mean you're

(19:31):
ending the relationship? And then patronizingly said, I admire you
for putting up your boundaries.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
It's more than I've certainly done.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Commoner says, why would you love this a hole even
as a friend after he did this to you? Just
go no contact and forget this person. He doesn't care
about you at all, Opie says, in between sending that
and now, he replied with nothing but patronizing support for
my ability to set the boundaries.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
He couldn't.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
He fully acknowledged what happened and responded with indifference. That's all,
since it made it impossible for me to want anything
to do with him. Bominer says, really, just cheating on you,
full on in front of your face.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
Huh, what a.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
Pos Opie says. I speculate he feels content because he
didn't lie about anything. Coominer says, this is the stupidest
thing I've ever heard. He can't say no to a
holiday weekend get away because her dog passed away. Next
it will be he couldn't turn down or offer to
bang all weekend because she was sad about her dog.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Exactly.

Speaker 3 (20:24):
Tell him to enjoy his holiday weekend. But after the holiday,
he'll need to find himself a new girlfriend. I spent
way too much time married to someone who prioritized helping
and pleasing other people and putting me on the back burner.
It will never get better, Opie says, I am laughing
even admitting this, But my last ex His friend's dog
had also just passed away. I think I need to

(20:45):
start being more observant about whether my future partner's friends
have any dogs that might be on the brink of death.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
Oh my god. And that is the end of that story. Wow, wow, wow, Wow.
Weird coincidence or perhaps a lie.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
Yeah, yeah, I'm glad she's out of there. It's only
four months in. You're fine, Yeah, get out of there.
Pay attention to actions over words.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
People, Oh man agreed. Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get
back to these stories.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that
keep the show alive.

Speaker 4 (21:14):
My boyfriend keeps hinting that he wants to propose, but
he's not monogamous. Proposed to who looking for input from
people who are slash have been in non monogamous relationships.
I'm twenty nine female in a three year relationship with
thirty six male. He is hinted a few times at marriage,
but there is one thing holding me back. About six
months into our relationship, he revealed to me that him

(21:36):
and his ex wife had tried swinging a few times,
starting a year into their marriage, and then a few
times over the seven years that they were together. By
the way, this comes from Hufflepuffs are Better and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime. Stub bred, I didn't know much
about the lifestyle, so I started listening to some non
monogamous hosted podcast and looking into it more to see
if it was a lifestyle that I could ever consider.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
For him, he said that it.

Speaker 4 (21:58):
Was an exciting, hot thing about the relationship and there
was healthy communication, and then it made them he and
his ex stronger and less likely to ever want to cheat.
After some deep inner reflection, I realized that it wasn't
something that I wanted for myself. There are many reasons,
but one of the bigger ones is that I'm a
slash demisexual. I only experienced spicy related attraction through deep bonds,

(22:19):
so having spicy sleep with people that I don't have
a strong relationship with doesn't sound fun or hot for me,
and I don't want to share my partner, so I
guess also because I'm clearly.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
Monogamous with that kind of mindset, Ilo in bed, he
began sharing more and more of.

Speaker 4 (22:32):
His fantasy about taking me to a non monogamous club,
and since it was during steamy time. I went along
with his fantasy. It's natural to share fantasies in bed,
and even if it's not my thing, I believe in
letting my partner play out of fantasy. But he started
suggesting it outside of the bedroom casually, and once I
came to the conclusion that it wasn't for me. I
talked with him around month nine of our relationship. I

(22:55):
shared my concern that since swinging is one of his
big fantasies and the thing that he has enjoyed doing
in the past, could we ever have a future where
he's still is satisfied if it wasn't my thing. He
was very understanding and sweet and ensured me that he
could be happy without.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
A non monogamous relationship for a year.

Speaker 4 (23:12):
I felt pretty solid with this response, but as it
continues to be his only fantasy that he shares in bed,
it is hard for me to fully believe that he'll
be happy marrying me. The other day, he started talking
in bed about how he was turned on by a
thought that he had asked him to share, and he
said that he pictured me giving it another.

Speaker 5 (23:29):
Whoo way, oh man, something spicy to someone. Yeah, do
some spicy related activities to someone doing another man acrobatics.
I asked if he was doing anything to me in
this fantasy or just watching. He said that there was
another girl doing.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
Some spicy activities while.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
I'm with another guy.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
I know that it's his spicy hobby, but it's hard
for me to hear from that that he's dreaming of
another girl pleasuring him while he's currently having spicy sleep
with me, and that is what turned him on in
the first place. He brings up swinging in about two
out of five of our spicy sleep encounters. I have
had two previous partners, and they were more of the
you're the only one for me kind of guys, and

(24:15):
it made me feel so special.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
So when he does.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
This, I end up feeling like I'm not enough. I
know that it's a monogamous mindset and my own insecurity.
I share my insecurity about not being spicy enough for him,
but I avoid saying this because of those things that
he says in bed, because then he wouldn't be able
to live out that spicy fantasy at all, and I
don't want to take that away from him. He is
very open about all the things that he and his

(24:38):
ex wife did, and I like that he feels comfortable
to share without thinking that I'll shame him or get upset.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
But honestly, it makes me feel like I'm lacking.

Speaker 4 (24:46):
He used to have three ways, do swaps, and basically
all of his biggest spicy hobbies he got to play
out in real life with me.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
He can't.

Speaker 4 (24:54):
I truly love him and we're happy in every other sense.
We have now lived together for a year and he
wants me in his whole future. My question for anyone
in this non monogamous community, if you happened to fall
from a monogamous person, do you think you could be
satisfied at leaving the life or would you possibly regret
or resent marrying down the road, or just have any
thoughts to share in general, anything it might help me

(25:16):
work my way to a conclusion. He and his ex
only did it a couple of times a year, and
it wasn't that big a part of their life, but
a very happy one. I ask you, because I can't
speak to it with my friends. I think that they
would form a bad view of him because they are
all monogamous and probably would see it as him being
driven by lust and not loving.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Or respecting me. You guys have a different mindset.

Speaker 4 (25:35):
On love and spicy sleep, and I'm hoping for any
insight or suggestions of how and if this can work
long term.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
And we do have some relevant comments.

Speaker 4 (25:42):
E Spae fun couple says, is it possible that it
can work out? I suppose, but since he keeps bringing
it up, it's a valid concern and it would absolutely
give me pause. This is something that you both need
to work out before getting married in my opinion. Ope,
he responds, thank you for the validation. I'm naturally a
person who feels bad for feeling bad and tries to
avoid any conflict, so it helps to hear that it
is something that should give pause. Now, I just got

(26:04):
to figure out how to bring it up and try
to work it out in a way that works for
both of us if possible. Thanks again, and the top comment, Damon, Pinky,
you need to hear this. This is not going to
work out. He has again and again made it clear
that that lifestyle is his number one fantasy and has
used steamy time to nudge you into it and for
years not given up on the idea despite you being

(26:27):
clear about your preferences. If this was purely an imaginary fantasy.
It could be overcome, but he has actually tasted blood,
and unfortunately that never goes away. Basically, you'll be marrying
him expecting that he'll change, and he'll be marrying you
expecting that he'll finally convince you to flip to the
other side. Basically a relationship built on false expectations. Heck,
he might even be thinking marriage is somehow going to

(26:49):
solve this dilemma in his favor. I can guarantee you
that once you're married, he'll float the idea of an
open marriage you need to exit. And we do have
an update of nineteen months later in Wow, do we
agree with those comments?

Speaker 3 (27:02):
Yeah, I mean I think that he's already trying to
convince you already don't want to do this. I think
that going into marriage with this guy's best idea exactly
until you I mean you guys haven't even seemingly really
communicated about all of your thoughts on this either, Like,
do you even know what he's expecting in this marriage?

Speaker 2 (27:21):
Does he want an open marriage? Do you know that
for sure? You know? It feels like if they did communicate,
it wasn't like.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
All of the feeling no, I mean she's telling us
all this feelings that it seemed like she's told him.

Speaker 4 (27:32):
But we do have an update nineteen months later, updating
because they've had a few people in my dms over
the months asking how it worked out, because they're in
a similar situation.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
We did break up a few months.

Speaker 4 (27:42):
After my post whoa okayang. I had showed him my
original post and talked with him about the unsurreness that
I had been feeling.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
His response was, sure, if tomorrow you told me you
wanted to.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
Swing, I'd be all for it, but I don't need
that in our relationship. Despite his words, over the next
few months, our relationship felt off. Both of us were
no longer comfortable it seemed, mentioning marriage anymore. And while
we were still enjoying each other's company and traveling and
doing things we loved, the love and security feeling wasn't there.
I would bring up that we didn't seem as connected,
but he would say that it was my anxiety talking

(28:15):
in my head. We went to a Halloween party with
our friends, who are all in their thirties to forties
and have been married anywhere from five to fifteen years.
The couple who was hosting the party were mid thirties
with three hits. At the party, the husband, i'll call
him Trey, started flirting heavily with all the girls. He
was very wasted, most of us were at some level
of intoxication, and was being very touchy feely. This was

(28:36):
extremely unusual behavior for him. His wife, who will call Kayla,
seemed a bit embarrassed, but was also giving us the
okay with what was going on. We could tell to
some degree that they must.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
Be opening up their relationship some way. Well.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
Towards the end of the night, Trey began to make
out heavily with the girl in the corner of the pool,
who had been invited by them, but the rest of
us had never met before.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
Her husband was socializing nearby.

Speaker 4 (28:58):
But he knew what was happening, so we all just
shrugged it off as consenting adults and whatnot. However, when
Kayla came outside, it became obvious that she wasn't okay
with what she saw. She and Trey disappeared from their
own party for a while, and we all were wondering
if we might need to head home and give them
some privacy. They came outside, though and we could tell
that Kayla wasn't okay. Trey started apologizing publicly to everyone

(29:20):
and said, we've gotten into swinging, but it's very new
for us. Kyla and I promised that we would not
do things with others without one of us clearly giving
the okay. We invited this couple over tonight with the
potential plans of going further with them. I effed up
and started initiating deeper while Kayla was inside the house
and unaware and not present. Cayla privately later apologized to us,
saying that she had not planned on our group knowing

(29:41):
that they were swinging and had wanted to keep it private.
So when Trey had started flirting with everyone and being
Touchyphelia in general, she had felt embarrassed that we were
also thrown off at this party that she had hosted
for us, And then when she had come outside to
him already initiating with the couple that they invited, it
had broken the boundaries that she had set with him.
I left the party upset, for in my mind, Trey

(30:01):
had cheated by breaking that boundary and in front of
everyone who she had not wanted to know about.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Their open relationship.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
This is her one friend group that she has, and
I can understand not wanting to share that part of
their lives with us since most of the group is monogamous.
My boyfriend's response was, yeah, he effed up, but this
is new for him and it's like a kid in
a candy shop. I mentioned to him how he had
once said that a benefit of swinging was less likely
to have cheating in a relationship, but that to me
this felt like cheating because if you said a boundary

(30:28):
and break it with another person, that counts. It was
a tense ride home the next time we had spicy sleep.
In the middle of it, he started bringing up me
kissing Kayla and then him kissing Kayla. I didn't want
to bring up that this upset me while having spicy
sleep because I just didn't know because the people please
her and me hates making people feel awkward or bad
in the moment. So I brought it up an hour
afterward that him bringing up Kayla didn't feel right, especially

(30:51):
after how that party had gone. He didn't argue about
it and said okay, but I could see from his
shut down facial expression that he wasn't happy with my response.
The next time we saw Trey and Kayla, they had
the couple from the party over at a board game night.
Looks like they had worked things out, and I was
happy for them. They were very flirty and kissing on
the other couple, and while it was still strange and
new to see, I was happy that they were happy.

(31:13):
I was having a fun time with everyone, but I
could tell that my boyfriend was very moody, and everyone
kept asking him if he was okay. In the middle
of a board game I had just started up with
some friends, he came in and interrupted, very moodily, saying,
you ready to go on the car ride home?

Speaker 2 (31:27):
I asked him what was up, and he was pretty
shut down.

Speaker 4 (31:30):
It clicked with me that he was jealous of the
swinging happening in front of him. When I asked him
if that's what it was, he said I wouldn't say jealous,
and I asked what he would say, but he said
that he'd get back to me on it when he
could put it into words. So I dropped it for them.
But a few days passed and he wasn't showing signs
of opening the conversation, and my anxiety started to grow,
until finally I brought it up again. He said, it's

(31:52):
just hard to see what I can't have right in
front of me, which I responded, it's hard for me
to see you mad and moody about it because I
know that I'm the reason why I'm the one keeping
you from it. You say I'm enough, but then you
do things that make me feel like I'm not really.
Please be honest with me. He went back to saying
that I was and that it was my anxiety, saying
that I asked what we can do to make our
relationship work better because this wasn't working.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
He mentioned that I could initiate more in bed. I
can understand that.

Speaker 4 (32:17):
While I'm a very responsive partner who never has turned
down spicy sleep, I am not off in the initiator.
So I tried doing that, and he turned me down
on five separate occasions for reasons like you just vaped,
and I don't like babing because it leaves a sweet
artificial place in your mouth, and.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
He vapes a lot. I'm stressed with work.

Speaker 4 (32:34):
And there was one night that he was pleasuring himself
in the shower and I asked if I could join,
and he said that he'd come to the bed, but
I said I would.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Just get in a shower with him.

Speaker 4 (32:44):
It worked out and I feel gross, but he said
that he wasn't interested in shower spicy sleep, so never mind, dude.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
He's moving the globe bar.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
He's like, oh, I want you to initiate more, and
then when you try to no.

Speaker 4 (32:57):
I could get his reasons, but it left me vulnerable
because and Is has always been hard for me, and
to keep getting turned down after he would ask me
to try it.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
More was hard. Then one night he said, take charge.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
Do whatever you want with me. Don't be shy about it.
Whatever you want to do to me, just do it.
I started giving him special kiss to stall because I
was panicking in my head what did he want? Because
I felt like he was looking for me to do
something particular. I've never been super shy in bed, so
when he said those words, I felt like he was
hoping for something new or different.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
In particular, i'ming on top.

Speaker 4 (33:28):
And doing the basic dirty talk didn't seem like enough
for what he was asking. I stopped to tell him
because I had never felt panicked during spicy sleep like this,
and I said, hey, I know you might want me
to take charge, but is there something specific you'd like?
And he got frustrated and said, just be dominating like
I do for you. Well, what he does for me
is some more aggressive stuff, but he has never expressed

(33:49):
interest in that for himself, and I didn't think that
that's what he actually wanted.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
So we asked, is there a video of what you
want for me? Or specifics?

Speaker 4 (33:57):
But because I don't want to dominate without knowing what
it is you mean, he let out a frustrated size
to never mind. I felt pretty crestfallen as a people
pleaser and said, I'm going to go get some mare
really quick. I went downstairs and went to Reddit to
search how to dominate your man and get ideas and
give myself a pep talk. I came back upstairs and
hurt him in the shower, so I opened up the
door to hop in and give it a go, and

(34:18):
realized that he had already pleasured himself after I had left.
I awkwardly got out of the shower and cursed myself
on awkwardness. Looking back, I can't help but laugh at
myself trying to make it work with the wrong person.
Let's just jump forward to the breakup, because this post
is already, so dang long. I sat him down and
said that we're disconnected and not okay lately, and you
say you want me, but I don't feel that from you.

(34:40):
So I get the feeling that you don't know what
you want. And he admitted that he wasn't sure and
needed time. So I said, after three years, if you
don't know, then that's the answer I need. I know
that we love each other, but we need to break up.
This isn't it. He looked stunned. He began crying hard
and asked me to stay in the same bed that night,
told me one last time. He cried the whole night
while I comforted him, and he got saying I know

(35:01):
it isn't fair for you to have to come for
me like this, but thank you because I need you
right now. He also said things like I've been an
idiot because I thought some things were important and then
this happens and I actually see what's important. He began
asking for another chance, and I said that I wasn't
sure I could give that because I'd lost trust in
his love for me. He said that he'd prove it
back with time. No, well, in under a month, no,

(35:22):
he said in bed this month we're doing and we're
going to a.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Spicy sleep club.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
I was cool with part one, but not so much
with part two, but gave him the benefit of the
doubt that the second part was his fantasy in bed,
since he knew my limits at this point. But he
brought it up again next time we were in bed,
and I stopped him and said, we are at the
weakest point of our relationship that we've ever been, and
you really want to bring a spicy sleep club with
other people into the mix. It finalized for me the

(35:48):
ending of.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Us, and I'm so glad that it did.

Speaker 4 (35:51):
Looking back, I can't believe that I stayed as long
as I did, because while he has the right to
want what he wants, it was clear that he wasn't
being honest with himself. He wants to be a nominalagamists
in a non monogamous relationship, and that's okay. Just don't
date a monogamous person and pretend otherwise. It was just
hurting us both. I definitely grew from it because it
made me realize what I wanted and needed in someone too.

(36:12):
A year has passed and I'm so happy and in
love with the right person. Okay, my anxiety has magically disappeared.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Go figure.

Speaker 4 (36:20):
I feel like enough as a partner in every way.
He's lighthearted, easy as breathing, and would do anything to
make me happy, which is great because I'm a giver too,
so we never run the risk of using each other.
He cherishes me, and I cherish him. I didn't even
know love could be this awesome. It's corny, I know,
But for anyone out there that is wondering if you're

(36:41):
with the right person, if you have to keep wondering,
and if you always feel like you're not enough, please
be brave enough to leave what you know and go
be happy elsewhere. And there are some relevant comments Horror
Paper sixty five seventy fours's. First of all, none of
this is normal swinging behavior. Trey and Kayla are effing idiots,
pray as a cheater and massively to missive of his
wife's boundaries and feelings.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
At a vanilla party.

Speaker 4 (37:03):
I know this isn't the purpose of the post, but
they brought you into their spicy sleep live without your
permission by engaging and swinging in front of you again
at a vanilla party, and your boyfriend's it's no big deal.
Response was horrific. Breaking your spouse's boundaries is a very
big deal, huge one. In fact, if my husband or
myself had done that, we'd have completely stopped swinging and
refocused on our marriage. I'm so glad that you two

(37:26):
realized your relationship couldn't work. Your ex was a giant
walking red flag and not a good representation of a
non monogamous relationship. Who wants a healthy and respectful relationship.
Hope he responds completely agree with everything you said. I
didn't go into it since it didn't pertain to the story.
But later Kayla Andrey and the couple that they chose
got real messy because the girl and the other couple

(37:47):
set her boundaries of not forming too much emotion because
they started buying each other's kids gifts and just becoming
more than what she wanted.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
What that's weird?

Speaker 4 (37:56):
When she tried to pull back her husband and Kayla
continued to communicate in private, almost ended two marriages. Oo
messy all around and not what swinging is meant to be.
But what happens when a couple isn't respectful of partner's
boundaries and put their own interests before their marriage It's
why I never liked my axis phrase that swinging prevents cheating.
Cheaters are cheaters in any relationship, monogamous or not. I

(38:19):
said that he and his ex wife had a great
communication in a healthy swinging relationship, and maybe that was
the truth, since they were both on the same page
and never faced conflict in the time that they were together.
But I'm glad that I didn't marry him or immediately
agree to try swinging with him, because seeing how he
handled not getting what he wanted revealed plenty of red
flags and terrible communication. I hope, for the sake of
who he ends up with next, that he has worked

(38:40):
on himself a bit, because no one needs that energy
in a relationship or in the non monogamous community in general.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
And that is the end of that story. Hey, it's
John here. We're gonna get back to the stories. Put
a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors that
keep the show going.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
My boyfriend suggested that I get plastic surgery.

Speaker 6 (38:59):
I refuse because you can't breathe out of your as
the left side of your nose.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Right.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
So I've been with this guy for nearly two years
now and we were unofficially together for a while before that.
He is smart, funny, attractive, and is probably the best
thing to ever happen to me. We rarely argue, and
this is definitely the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.
By the way, this comes from user throwaway eighty five
forty seven and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the arsledgh ogay story.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
And I'm subredde So.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
I am a very straightforward person and I have always
prided myself on my ability to speak my mind about
things that I think are important, which is why I'm
struggling so much here because I have no idea how
to address the problem that I'm having or whether it
would even be appropriate.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
For me to talk about it at all.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Okay, while my relationship makes me very happy, I don't
think my partner likes my chest, and it bothers me.
Throughout our relationship, I've noticed that he'll be on Instagram
a lot, which is normal and fine. But one day
I realized that his likes would consist entirely of underwear models, egirls,
twitch streamers that he's never watched, etc. And those photos

(40:02):
would all focused on their chest area. I thought nothing
of it at first. But one day I was on Instagram.
I switched to the likes tab and saw that my
boyfriend had just liked a bunch of photos that were
basically just various close ups of women with large front
airbags in bras and bikinis. This shouldn't bother me, I know,
it shouldn't. I feel silly riding this, but he never
ever comments on my front airbags.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
I have a very small chest.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
I am literally an a cup, and it's something I
have always been teased about. My sister and friends particularly
used to make comments about it, many of which have
stuck with me. I'm an adult now, age twenty one,
so people don't make childish comments like those anymore. But
I am very much aware of how flat chested I
am compared to other women. My boyfriend's axes quite busty,
and so are all the women that he's attracted to.

(40:48):
But I am attracted to women as well, and I
find all body types to be beautiful. I initially thought
my boyfriend would be the same as me in that regard,
but I don't know. I feel like most people are
not like that. Just being honest types, yeah, most people
aren't like every single body type down with that, Like, yeah,
if you are, that's cool. I got a type, dude,
There's nothing wrong with that. It's just like, yeah, everyone's

(41:08):
type is different.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Quirky artsy girls, that's my time. Quirky art girls. Oh man,
I'm down bad for him. I don't know how it happened.
He is lovely to me, but there's just certain occasions
where I worry.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
I'll try wearing cute bras or dresses that sort of
emphasize my chest a bit, and he won't be interested
or even compliment me. That's really unlike him, as he
usually is very complimentary and he'll say nice things about
every other part of me. The fact that he seems
disinterested in my chest does play upon my insecurity about
that area of my body.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
But I know it isn't his fault.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
I know if I were to ask him, he would
reassure me and say he thinks I'm beautiful.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Well, that's certainly what you would hope, he would say.
I just don't really know what to do.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
I hear him talking about girls with his friends sometimes.
It makes me feel weird to know that he does that,
especially when he also is happy to like in a
appropriate photos on Instagram, knowing full well that all of
our friends can see his activity. I can't tell what
is really bothering me the most here, if I'm honest,
I don't know. If it's him only using Instagram to
look at other girls, the fact that these girls all

(42:12):
have bigger front air bags than me and I know
he's not all that interested in my chest. The fact
that our mutual friends can see him liking these photos
of women in a lingerie while also knowing I can
see it too. I think I would care a little
bit less if these were just celebrities, but they're not
one of the reoccurring girls.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
They're reoccurring.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
Oh no, yeah, dude, this is a problem where it's like,
I just want you to want me, please, and I
think you can clearly you clearly just want someone else.
One of the reoccurring girls is someone he knows, and
he went to her birthday party instead of mine this year.
In his defense, we were in different cities, but I
did invite him, but he didn't want to travel that
day as it would take an hour for him to

(42:52):
get to me.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Oh, I don't know. Is he just comfortable being with you?
I don't know. I don't know, Yeah, do you not
press him on anything?

Speaker 1 (42:59):
Because if if I had a partner who went to
a different girl's birthday.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
M hm, and then it's.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Like, yeah, I can't make it out to you because
you're an hour away, you know, like an episode of television. Yeah,
I'd be like, hey, so we're breaking up because clearly
you literally don't care about you.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
You have different priorities, right.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
I'd also like to clarify that I don't normally pay
attention to what he does on social media. This was
just something I noticed one day and began paying attention to.
It has reached the point where I'll scroll through the
likes tab on Instagram now just to see if he's
still doing it, and he does it multiple times a day.
I don't like how paranoid I'm be coming about this,
and I know it's unhealthy, which is why I'm writing

(43:40):
this here.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Should I address this with him? Is it even right
for me to care?

Speaker 1 (43:44):
If you care about something and it makes you feel anything,
you can feel free to care about it and want
to talk about it. It doesn't entitle you to anything,
but you could certainly have a conversation about it. It's
nothing wrong with it. Oh, boy, I hope. I want
everyone on earth to know that who said they were
in a very healthy relationship?

Speaker 2 (44:03):
Who was that? Have we forgotten who she is?

Speaker 1 (44:08):
I also want to clarify that none of the photos
are just selfies or anything like that. They are exclusively
revealing in suggestive photos with front airbags being the primary focus.
I obviously don't think there's anything wrong with people posting
this sort of content, so I apologize if I've come
across that way. I'm just concerned about why my boyfriend
is so fixated on these things when he will not

(44:29):
comment on touch or even really look at my own
chas update. I finally confronted my boyfriend twenty two male,
and I don't know what to do now. Basically, I
made a post a few days ago asking what to
do because I was concerned about his Instagram to the
point of it making me paranoid, and his disinterest in
my chest was making me insecure. Jump cut to today.
I finally had the chance to do what you were

(44:51):
all suggesting and simply talk to him about it. So
about three or four hours ago I sat him down
and after a lot of me struggling to get my
words out, I blurted something along the lines of do
you find my body attractive?

Speaker 2 (45:04):
He looked confused and said yeah, and then asked why.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
So I told him that I know my Bras's eyes
isn't exactly impressive, and that I see his likes on Instagram.
His reply was really strange and immediately made me suspicious.
He said, is it just my likes that bother you?
Without acknowledging the other things I said? So I asked,
what do you mean?

Speaker 2 (45:23):
Hmm?

Speaker 6 (45:24):
This does make me think because I like certain kind
of content that's not who I am.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
I'll go ahead. I'm gonna let you get away with that.
I won't dig So I asked what do you mean?

Speaker 1 (45:36):
For about a minute or two, we were going in
a circle and it went something like this. Him, I
was just checking it was only the likes. Me, What
do you mean?

Speaker 2 (45:44):
Him? I just wanted to make sure you were talking
about the likes.

Speaker 7 (45:47):
Me.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
What else would I be talking about?

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Him?

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Nothing?

Speaker 4 (45:51):
Me?

Speaker 2 (45:52):
Have you been leaving comments?

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Him?

Speaker 7 (45:54):
Know?

Speaker 2 (45:55):
Why would that bother you?

Speaker 7 (45:57):
Me?

Speaker 2 (45:58):
I guess it depends on what they were? Him? So
it's just the likes, then me? Was there anything else?

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Him?

Speaker 7 (46:05):
No?

Speaker 2 (46:06):
Just checking out. You're only worried about the likes.

Speaker 7 (46:10):
This gives me a reason to snoop. Snooping time, okay,
snoopy time. Then the conversation went downhill from there. I
tried to bring the conversation back to my initial point
about how I was concerned that he didn't find me
as attractive as them because of my brass eyes, and
he just groaned really loudly inside he said, And I'm
writing this word for word because it's stuck with me

(46:32):
since he said it. Look, you're beautiful, but I just
prefer big front airbags. So that's when you leave that guy,
I would guess, I would guess I'd be like, then
you should go, and you go, you know what, and
you deserve to have your preference.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
I'm gonna take myself.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
I'm gonna extricate myself because that was just about the
least empathetic, worst way any human could have responded to
that situation. Okay, like, okay, no crap, but how is
someone meant to respond to that? I just sort of
sat there and didn't know what to say. So he
took my hands and just started talking about how he
thinks I'm pretty and wonderful and he loves me, but

(47:11):
he has a specific type and that he can't really
get turned on by flat chests.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
You've been dating me though, dude.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
It was weird malfunction. I might be an a cup,
but I'm not half in flat. But that's not the issue.
I'm just stunned that he said that anyway. I asked
if he's ever been turned on by my front airbags
and he's like, not really. Then I asked if he's
ever been turned on my girls on Instagram and he said, well, yeah,
have you seen their front airbags?

Speaker 6 (47:39):
You're seeing them Bentley's and Yayas and Bentley's.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Uh, that's stung, but that was obvious.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
I asked him why he doesn't just watch, you know,
some adult content, and he said he does, but he
likes Instagram as well because it's more personal. Lao, wtf?
He walk away Girl.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Got a constant where you can get it.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
Man, you gotta walk Now it's time to walk, dude,
because it's more personal insanity. I asked if he had
to ever message them, and he said he messaged the
one girl that he actually knows and whose birthday he
went to instead of mine, The worst one he could
be messaging. He insisted it wasn't flirty or anything, and
I believed him. I was very sad and quiet after

(48:25):
a while. So he just started saying that he isn't
going to stop looking at other girls, because that would
be like telling a kinkkeyperson that they can only have
Vanilla's spicy time.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
I love this man's logic. It makes so much sense.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
He kept promising me that he still thinks I'm amazing
and blah blah blah. But then, and still, while talking
in this cute shipothetic voice, he said, if this is
really getting to you, you could get a fun airbag job.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Just pump up your front airbags. This is the only
solution he can see about moving forward. Wow.

Speaker 6 (48:59):
Wow, And you only have a problem because he prefers that,
And now he's making it your problem. You see what
he did there, Oh pie, You see the manipulation. If
you're spinner eyes set, if you're so.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Upset, maybe you could take about a little cosmetic surgery
girl over.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
Yeah, just google plastic surgery, babe. You'll be fine. Just
spend like loads of money that you don't have. Sure,
I mean, yeah, it's just that simple, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
I think I stopped being sad at that point and
started getting angry because I couldn't believe he said that,
and I still can't. The most annoying part was that
he was so chill about it, even after he had
clearly hurt me. He just sort of shrugged off my
reaction and continued, like, well, I just thought it would
help you feel better.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
I don't want surgery.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
I am scared of hospitals, and I have had surgery
before and it was awful.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
He is fully aware of this.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
I've never wanted plastic surgery either, and I don't think
i'd even have the money for it, though I don't
really know how much it costs. I just feel like
though I've always had insecurities about not having large front
airbags because it's something I was teased about and most
people are bigger than me, but I've never felt the
need to actively try and change it as a whole.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
I do like my body, even if it's not perfect.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
You know. Yeah, I don't want surgery, and I know
he's not forcing me to get it, but the way
he said it and continued to talk about it, I
just feel like, crap. Am I really that unattractive to him?
I asked him to leave after a while because the
conversation was upsetting me too much and I just wanted
to be alone. He was really sweet and kissed my

(50:34):
forehead as he laughed. And it's making me feel like
I'm overreacting.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Girls.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Stop it, he's gaslighting you right now. Stop stop. He's
literally the best boyfriend I could ever ask for.

Speaker 7 (50:45):
It.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
No, he's not. He could be better, and he's always
wonderful to me. I shouldn't be reacting like this to
something so minor, And I know I'm being dramatic, but
I just feel awful and I don't know what to do.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
I'm not gonna get plastic surgery.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
But he literally isn't attracted to my body, So you leave, well,
not my front airbags. I don't want him to cheat
on me. I doubt he ever would anyway. He's honestly amazing,
but he does prefer other girls. Girl, I'm convinced he
cheated on you with that girl. He ditched you to
go to her birthday instead. It's just about the likes, right,
Just about the likes, right. He's like, it's well, how

(51:18):
much do you know? That's what he was asking, What
do you know? What do you actually what do you know? Yeah,
see my likes because you don't know that I slept
with that girl on your birthday.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Ooh okay, yeah, it's just the likes.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
You know how easy it is to say no, baby,
You're so beautiful and perfect and everything about you was
wonderful and think you're atracted me and you're so beautiful.

Speaker 6 (51:34):
It's just that I need you to have d cups. Oh, brother,
he probably wants ABCD to Z cups.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
I don't want him to Just listen how crazy this is.
I don't want him to cheat on me. I doubt
he ever would anyway. He's honestly amazing, but he does
prefer other girls. What that means He's gonna leave me
one day unless I get better for him. But I
don't know how you leave him. Maybe start having manasia
twelves with other girls. I could end so badly though,

(52:01):
and I'm too anxious for that right now. I don't
know what to do. You break up with him. This
all happened today, so it's very fresh and I just
feel awful and helpless. Any advice would be appreciated. Please
break up with him. Break up with him?

Speaker 6 (52:11):
Yeah, yeah, that's the most healthy solution.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
But when you don't know, you don't know what's good
for you. Yeah, it's true, that is true. Just please
listen to some of these comments.

Speaker 6 (52:22):
But Dakota, we're almost done, right, Like she's about to
wrap up and have a solution ready.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
Totally, We're only halfway through comments. Comment one, don't change
your body just because your boyfriend is an inconsiderate knucklehead.
Him constantly being like it's just likes right is suspicious.
Him messaging that girl and going to her party and
not yours is absolutely not cool. And telling you to
change your body is a complete no. You can one

(52:48):
hundred percent find a guy who loves your body and
will make you feel insecure like that, and who will
be more genuine to you. Ditch this guy and go
find that guy instead. There's a second update, let's get
into it. My boyfriend is in the shower and left
his phone behind because it was charging. Girl, why aren't
you leaving him? My phone was on thirteen percent, so
I decided to use the charger on. My boyfriend wasn't

(53:09):
using his phone anyway. His screen lit up when I
removed the charger, and his lock screen and background or whatever,
you want to call. It is a picture of him
holding another girl, holding holding holding holding His phone background
is him with another girl. This is a crime, so
you shouldn't do it. But I would have spiked that
phone immediately until it was into a million pieces.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
I would have stripd that phone. I'm gonna do that.
It's a crime.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
So this girl, let's call her Lucy, is a friend
of his, so it shouldn't be strange. But this year
he chose to go to her birthday party instead of mine,
and he likes a lot of inappropriate pictures of her
on Instagram. This is like the game of connect the dots,
and all three dots are in a straight line, and
OP is going like where do I?

Speaker 2 (53:53):
How do where? I don't? Where do I go? He
cheated on? You done?

Speaker 1 (53:59):
I don't really know much about my boyfriend's dynamic with Lucy,
but I know they communicate regularly. But I've never been
suspicious of anything between them. I've also never seen this
photo before, but it seems very recent. I didn't unlock
his phone because I feel like snooping would be a
huge violation. But am I right in finding this a
little odd? My phone background is always either a photo

(54:20):
of him or a photo of the two of us,
and he'll make comments if I change it, only playful comments,
but he will jokingly sulk about it unless my lock
screen slash background is him or us. I know his
background has been a picture of me for a while,
so I'm not sure when he changed it. Should I
say anything? How do you feel? Do you feel like
you want to say something? Do you feel like it

(54:40):
bothered you? If it answers? Yes, say something, say something.
I don't want him to think I'm angry. I'm not.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
I just find it a little strange. I suppose you
have the right to be angry.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
I feel like this this op maybe like grew up
in an environment where they learned that, like, negative emotions
are like you can't you're not allowed to have them.

Speaker 6 (55:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
Yeah, it seems that boy.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Is because you should be furious at all of this
right now. I've also not been feeling very good about
myself lately.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
I wonder why.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
So I know I could be overthinking right now. Sorry,
leave him say something really press the issue.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
Yeah yeah, I mean, you know what's the hard thing
to do. That's what you gotta do.

Speaker 6 (55:24):
Update number three, My gosh.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
My boyfriend of two years changed his phone background to
another girl. I asked him about it, and he told
me to get plastic surgery again. Life really is an
absolute effing adventure. Thank you for all of your messages.
I'm on mobile and I don't know how to link
to my previous post, but basically, I unplug the charger
for my boyfriend's phone while he was showering so that
I could charge my phone. His screen lit up when

(55:49):
I did this and revealed his lock screen with him
holding a female friend, Lucy. He chose this friend's birthday
over mine. I didn't blame him because he would have
needed to drive an hour to see me.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
Which is a very reasonable distance.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
Yeah, and is frequently liking inappropriate pictures of her bazongos.
So here's the update. He came out of the shower
and immediately made a bline for his phone. When he
noticed I had unblugged it, he immediately asked why. I
responded honestly and said that I had wanted to charge
my phone. I then decided to do what everyone suggested.
I asked him about his background. I wasn't aggressive or anything.

(56:28):
I literally just said so I noticed I'm not your
background anymore, in a playful tone, just like how he
talks to me when I changed mine. He asked if
that was a problem, and I said no. But I
didn't want the conversation to end like that, so I
asked him why he chose that photo. He didn't like
this question. He didn't raise his voice. He just looked
at me funny and asked what I meant. He immediately
got that defensive after he gave me that funny face look.

(56:52):
He then asked me if I was jealous of the
girl in the picture. I said no, I was just
surprised because I didn't realize they were that close. He
asked me if I went through his phone, and I
said no. This whole time he was being so calm
and nice, and he really didn't seem at all angry.
He always was lovely to me, and he was being
so good about this. He really really is always lovely

(57:14):
to me. And I mean that I doubt that because
he skipped your birthday. But his question about me going
through his phone worried me a little because why.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
Would he need to ask me that.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Oh my god, we're starting to develop our ability to
sense suspicious things. Yeah, we're there, even though he remained
super calm. He asked me again if I went through
his phone, and he just kept asking. It was like him,
did you go through my phone?

Speaker 7 (57:39):
Me? No?

Speaker 2 (57:40):
Him? Are you sure me? Yes? Him? Do you promise me?

Speaker 4 (57:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (57:44):
I promise.

Speaker 1 (57:45):
And then he said that it would be a deal
breaker if he ever found out I had been snooping.
I hadn't snooped and would never snoop. And I told
him that. He just kissed me on the forehead and
took his phone and basically just started messaging someone and
watching stuff on his laptop.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
The forehead kisses.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
I've never hated foe head kisses more in my whole
life than in this story.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
I love four head kisses, but coming from.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
This guy, it just feels like it's when it feels dastardly.
He was just so, he's just watching that stuff on
his laptop, so the conversation had clearly ended for him.
I didn't know what to say or do at this
point because I was just feeling really guilty, but I
was also concerned that he thought I wasn't trustworthy, and
I felt bad for bringing up the photo.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
I was really quiet, but just watched YouTube with him.

Speaker 3 (58:28):
For a pit.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
Usually he gets pretty handsy with me when we watched
uff together, and he did this time too, but I
wasn't really feeling it, so I declined his advances. Kept
trying and was playfully saying things like don't be so sulky.
And when I said I wasn't sulking and I just
wasn't in the mood, he said, this is because of Lucy,
isn't it.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Oh No, he said he still had to play. This
is because of Lucy, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
He still had the playful voice, but it really surprised me,
and I felt embarrassed and guilty and annoyed. I don't
remember what I said, but I think I denied it
being due to her. He stopped touching me inside and
then told me that he thought I was being too
elson insecure lately and that I was projecting all my
feelings onto Lucy.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
Oh boy, oh boy, going for the turn of the worst.
Oh boy.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
He didn't shout or anything, and he seemed more disappointed
or concerned than mad. But it was just so much,
and I'm still really confused by it. Oh this is
a professional gaslighter. This guy's gaslighting you like he is
a street light in San Diego. I have never been
a jealous person, but it's true that I can be
insecure sometimes I don't feel good about my front airbags,

(59:30):
and I don't feel good enough for my boyfriend because
he's so amazing and so attractive.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
But your boyfriend sucked. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
I've never ever let that affect anything, though, And this
is truly the best and most healthy relationship I've ever
been in. And we never ever have conflict, which is, folks, never,
never will. I will always call that a red flag.
Never having conflict in a relationship. Something is wrong there.
People will naturally have I have conflict. Yep, you have

(01:00:01):
to work through it together. I do find the solution, Like,
if you're never having conflict, it's because someone's manipulating the
situation so that there isn't any conflict ever.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Yeah, sure, ah, I just wish Oh he could see
herself worth.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
I apologized and said I didn't mean to project, and
I asked him what he meant by that. He said
that it's obvious that my insecurity about my body is
having a bad effect on me and is making me
jealous of girls with better bodies.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
He's telling you this, Hugh were.

Speaker 6 (01:00:31):
But like, the source of this is with him, and
he's gonna he's not gonna fiss up.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
This is weird. This is weird.

Speaker 1 (01:00:35):
Ah. Then he proceeded to unlock his phone and go
to Lucy's Instagram and scroll through, showing me all the
photos of her in various bikinis and cosplays, et cetera,
while asking me if I felt jealous, this man's lucky
to be alive. At this point, I started to cry,
and I'm still embarrassed by that. I wasn't crying out
of jealousy. I just couldn't understand what was going on,
and I was so embarrassed. My boyfriend didn't get angry

(01:00:58):
or anything. He just hugged me and said, see, you're
too insecure. Then he began talking about how I should
get a front airbag job. He's mentioned this several times
over the past few days since. I asked him if
he found my front airbags attractive and he said no.
I told him I don't want surgery, and he knows this,
but he said it's the only way I'm gonna stop
being insecure, and that I'm just going to resent other

(01:01:19):
women if I don't change, or you can break up
with him and find the guy who appreciates you exactly
where you are right now.

Speaker 6 (01:01:28):
She's so far in she has years as she's been
with him, and that's not an option.

Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
It's hard.

Speaker 6 (01:01:34):
She probably will be dumped by him. She will not
dump him. She will probably be dumped by him.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
That's really just so wild to me. I'm so sorry,
Ope that you had to go through this. He started
showing me photos of women who had gotten implants, saying stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
Like, look how happy she is, and look, this girl's even.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Bigger than Lucy. He's like, check out the implants I
caught down at the pond. It's the biggest one in
the county. Goodness, Gray, God, dude, I just felt miserable.
I still do. Of all the things to say to me,
Why say this? Why show me this crap when I've
said I don't want surgery. He wasn't being mean, Yes

(01:02:14):
he was, but that crap really still sings. People can
be mean when they're not yelling. I told him that
I'm really not projecting onto Lucy at all, and that
I didn't care about her front airbags. And I told
him that I only mentioned his lock screen because he
always complains when mine isn't a photo of him or us.
I was pretty distressed at this point. He wasn't really responding,

(01:02:34):
just sort of looking at me. It was frustrating. Then
I asked why he went to her birthday instead of mine.
I was pretty worked up at that point, so I
just sort of blurted it out, yeah, because it's like
the most important question that has yet to be asked.
His response baffled me so much that I stopped crying
because I was so confused. I'm still confused. He said
he didn't go to her party and then he went

(01:02:55):
to mine.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Oh no, literally, oh.

Speaker 6 (01:02:57):
No, oh no, Oh no, girl, girl, girl, you know
the truth. You know the truth right now, you know
the absolute truth. Oh my gosh, oh my god, Please
tell me.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
This has got to be the last, last time, right yeah,
him trying this has to be the last one, Like
we're getting closer to the end here, this has to
be the last thing. He said that finally made you go, oh,
oh my god. This guy's literally just completely made up.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
This is all fake.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
Okay, So he said that he didn't go to her
party and that he went to mine. Literally, all I
could say was what, And he said that he wouldn't
have done that, and that I was just remembering wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
I am not remembering wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
I remember it perfectly, and I remember us even talking
on the phone about it that night. We've had conversations
about him going to her party. I know some of
the people he went with. It literally happened, but he
said it didn't, while being completely common sincere, because he
is a gaslighting sociopath, has no qualms lying through his.

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
Teeth to you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
He said, I must have been to way to remember
the night properly. But that's ridiculous and not remotely true.
He kept saying, don't you remember, and then telling me
things that literally didn't happen that night. But he was
so sure. And now I'm doubting myself so much. Oh no, oh, no, oh, pie, Oh,
you're victim ople Oh but you're close. You're almost out,
You're almost out, see the real, see the real. My
birthday was very recently as well, So I don't know

(01:04:21):
why I'm struggling to remember.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
I'm just so confused. He was certain.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
He's not a liar, and he's never lied to me
about anything before. But it's also just such a bizarre
thing to lie about. He was so serious though it
was so weird. He changed the subject back to my
front airbag size, and I just walked out of the
bathroom because I needed a breather. When I came back,
he was watching Doom Patrol and acting as if nothing happened.

(01:04:47):
I got into bed and tried to sleep.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
This morning.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
He was gone when I woke up, and we've spoken
a lot less today because I don't know what to
say to him. I feel so confused and everything is
just so bizarre right now. I don't understand what what happened,
and I feel like I'm being crazy. I don't know
what to do. I rang him a few hours ago
and apologize for everything, and he reassured me and said
that we'll sort out my body so I can stop

(01:05:12):
being so paranoid.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
What okay?

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
I wanted to ask about the birthday thing again because
it was just so weird, but I didn't know what
to say, so I left it alone.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
Am I just paranoid? What should I do?

Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
I feel like I can't trust my own thoughts right now,
and I'm just so effing lost. I don't want to
lose him, Dang, I'm down bad.

Speaker 2 (01:05:33):
Guys.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
Imagine being in love with just like an actual like
tumor of a person.

Speaker 6 (01:05:38):
Yeah, you need good friends in your life. It feels
like you have a lack of support grouped as well,
because like good friends will.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
Tell you to get risk.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
I bet you this guy probably isolated her quite a bit,
quite quite a bit.

Speaker 6 (01:05:50):
If you, guys, recognize that you're in a situation like this,
reach out to a friend you're thinking of right now.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
Yes, reach out, reach out.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
Reach out to a friend that you know your partner
doesn't want you to talk to, because I guarantee you
they have something to.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
Say that will change your mind. Hmmm, that's why they
don't want you to talk to that person. Edit. The
reaction to this has really blown me away.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
I'm reading as many of the comments as I can,
and I am taking all of your words on board.
Thank you to each and every person who has taking
the time to give me advice. I'm sorry if I
haven't replied. There's a lot for me to deal with
right now, and I'm very emotionally exhausted. I'd also like
it if people could stop calling me idiot, stupid, etc.
You don't know what it's like to not be able
to trust your own thoughts and feelings due to the

(01:06:31):
behavior of a master manipulator and because of your crazy childhood.
We have a fourth update, and it's the final one.
All right, here we go. This is going to be
the last post I make about this situation. I want
to put the whole thing behind me and focus on
moving forward now. Yes, but my last post got a
lot of responses, so I felt as though I needed
to say at least something on the matter. A lot

(01:06:51):
of you have been greatly helpful to me in this time,
and I appreciate that more than I can say to
those of you calling me an idiot.

Speaker 2 (01:06:59):
Or saying I was making uses for him. I wasn't.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
Evidently I knew his actions were wrong, otherwise I wouldn't
have made the post to begin with. I clarified that
he was usually very nice to me, Because he was.
He's helped me through panic attacks, paid for a lot
of my food when I've had no money, defended me
against a previous abs, and always been very attentive prior
to recent incidents.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
Of course, I knew that his actions in my post
were wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
I was trying to stress that he is not normally
like this, and that he was not aggressive with me girl,
It's okay. You can lean into whatever you were going through.
This is a man that I felt safe with because
he had given me all the reason in the world
to feel safe with him.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
He protected me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:35):
From a lot and literally came to my aid at
three am once when I was alone and distraught on
some random beach.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
Of course, he had my complete trust.

Speaker 1 (01:07:42):
Anyways, following my last post, I basically avoided him and
confided in some of my real life friends about it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Good thank you in doing so. One of them, Daisy,
let's call her.

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
That brought me to the realization that I was never
that insecure about my body and that my boyfriend had
simply been making me feel that way. It sort of
feels like, oh way, it has been lifted in that regard.
But the realization made me so so so angry. I
rarely get angry, really, I didn't get that sense. But

(01:08:13):
talking to everyone and reading everything and learning more about
gas lighting made me so pissed.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
Then there was the icing on the cake.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
Two of my friends confirmed that he did indeed go
to Lucy's party. Yeah, of course, but Lucy hadn't actually
wanted him there. Oh yeah, at least know he didn't
cheat on you, but like not even because I'm I'm
just glad that no one wants this guy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:36):
Yeah, it seems like a loser.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
She apparently was very aware of his obsession with her
and isn't entirely comfortable with it. Great, I guess I'm
effing blind. That is the that is true. You have been,
but now you see, and now we go go forward.
Yeah with vision, you got it. That whole situation was
really the final straw for me.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
Last night.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
When I saw him, I asked him about the party
again and whether he went to mine or Lucy's again.
He said mine. I told him that I'm not an
idiot and that our friends could all confirm his whereabouts.
He seemed bothered that I had been talking to people
about the situation, and he started with the whole your
jealousy is getting really bad, and at that point I
lost my temper. I told him I wasn't jealous. I

(01:09:23):
was just trying to understand why he was lying to
me about something so dumb. It wasn't even a good lie.
We had a pretty rough argument, and I brought up
his constant comments about surgery, and as we argued, little
things started dawning on me about other stuff he had
previously done. I cried a lot. I kept trying to
be calm, but it didn't always work. But yeah, A
spare you the gory details. I did try to break

(01:09:45):
up with him, but I don't think it sunk in.

Speaker 6 (01:09:47):
Oh no, because it's either his way or no way.
Oh no, oh no, OPI wow, you got it. Gotta
make a real you gotta make a real you got it?

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
You got it?

Speaker 1 (01:09:56):
You got enough strength, you got it? Yeah, I think,
and I think Op is read in their decision. Yes, oh,
he continues. As far as I'm concerned, We're over, but
he doesn't seem to really get it yet. I'm sure
he will soon. I've blocked him on everything and I'm
going to keep my distance. But we have a lot
of the same friends, so fully cutting him out isn't
going to be as easy as I would like.

Speaker 2 (01:10:16):
I'm done with this though.

Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
He dominated so much of my life, and I'm still
doubting myself so much about everything.

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
But I have a lot of good friends helping me.
Thank God. Where have they been? Where have they been? Earlier?
Oh God?

Speaker 1 (01:10:32):
Apparently he was weird about Lucy even when he was
with his AX so I think I might talk to
her about the situation. You got it, You've made it here,
whatever you do. Your assumption that he's just going to
let this go is very wrong. He is going to
try to get you to he's trying to get you
back into his life. He's going to try to worm
his way back in, and he's going to try to

(01:10:52):
confuse you again.

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
He's not going to think.

Speaker 6 (01:10:55):
He's not going to like hold any respect or honor
to you breaking up with him.

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
He's gonna be like, oh, yeah, that was you. Just
he need to say that, I bet you.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
He comes to you and and he's like, you know,
I've thought about it, and I've decided we don't have
to break up.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
And she's'd be like, I think we're gonna work through
this together.

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
He's like, yes, I decided we don't actually need to
break up, So you know, I take back what I said.
She'll be like, I was the one who said we're
breaking up. No, silly, don't you remember it was me
I broke up with you. Wow, this guy's unhinged. I
want to keep moving forward. I need to get past
this effing fog in my brain that he put there
when we met. He told me he'd lost a sibling

(01:11:34):
in a car crash. No one ever spoke about it,
and I thought that was strange. At the time, I
thought it was due to grief, but now I think
no one spoke about it because it didn't effing happen.
I had so much faith in this man, and for
a long long time he really was my best friend.
I already miss him, and it effing sucks, but frankly,
I've overcome worse.

Speaker 2 (01:11:53):
I'll be fine. No, I think you should go to
a therapist.

Speaker 1 (01:11:55):
Yeah, I think you need to go to a therapist
and talk out this relationship and have a professional explo
to you exactly how messed up that relationship was. Because
even that being like I've overcome it, I already miss him. Nah, dude,
you need to know this was This man was poison.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
Thank you for your support.

Speaker 1 (01:12:13):
All the messages were very overwhelming, but I read every
single one of them and they did help. I hope
you're all having a wonderful day, and I hope the
same thing to you.

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
Op. Right is the end of that story? Op you
did it. You did it.

Speaker 6 (01:12:29):
You you have astray and you did it, and anyone
guys you're going through the song something like this, reach
out to a friend.

Speaker 2 (01:12:35):
You got it, you got it. Yes, uh.

Speaker 6 (01:12:39):
I believe that front airbag surgery should never be a
thing because you're beautiful the way you.

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
Are, unless it's hurting your back. Get him reduced, Yeah,

All Episodes

I REFUSE to share a room with my father’s girlfriend's daughter… but she won't back down! - r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2273

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Cardiac Cowboys

The Joe Rogan Experience

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I REFUSE to share a room with my father’s girlfriend's daughter… but she won't back down! - r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2273