I REFUSED to move closer to my fiancé’s ex! | Reddit Stories | EP2352 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, your og Okay
Storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories
coming up. But if you want to hear that deliciousness,
you know, just stick around for a two minute break
with a word from our sponsors. I refuse to move
closer to my fiancees X.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I want to move farther.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Yeah, get me as far away from that relationship as possible.
I forty two female, met my fiance forty two male,
a year after my late husband passed away six years ago.
Is that too soon or too late? Let me know.
We met through a work partnership and live in different states.
We're about twelve hours apart if we drove, sometimes we
take shorter commuter flights to maximize our time together. By

(00:41):
the way, this comes from far Championship two oh two,
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay Storytime sub I'm Sam.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
I'm Sophia, I'm key On, and we're here to.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Give good advice. Goofily, But we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, So let us know
what you would do in the comments. All right, this
is what Opie says out. Our relationship has been mostly
long distance, but we see each other at least once
per month and text and talk constantly if we're not
at work or doing things with friends. My fiance has
been an amazing partner, and I feel lucky I was

(01:13):
able to find love again after a tragedy. Yeah, I
feel like that. I feel like every partner who becomes
a ghost would probably want their current partner to find
love again. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
No, there's gonna be how quickly?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
How quickly should they be happy?

Speaker 2 (01:26):
There's a movie about that with the girl who plays
Scarlett Witch, Elizabeth Olsen.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
How quickly? How quickly?

Speaker 3 (01:31):
About her husband?

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:32):
In the afterlife? And she's like her husband, who she's
been with her whole life, is like, you're gonna be
with me? And then her husband, who like passed when
they were really young, has been waiting for sixty seven.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Years, Oh to go back.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, I'd like to get back with her.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
Do you think there's at least one like ghostly partner
that says no, don't move on.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I mean, yeah, it's super jealous ghosts. But I think
I should. I think the rule, if I was a
greater rule right now is you should mourn for one
month of every year of the relationship.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
So I think, OP, he's good.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yeah, how long was the relationship?

Speaker 2 (02:02):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Let us know what you think. But my fiance has
been an amazing partner and I feel lucky I was
able to find love again after tragedy. My fiance has
a son, sixteen male, from a previous relationship. He broke
up with my step son's mother when his son was nine.
I think he's great. He's been supportive of our relationship
and he's very close with his dad. The biggest issue
has been his mom. His mom, how can I put

(02:27):
this nicely, is bitter. She and my fiance have been
in and out of court for the last few years.
My step son does not get along with his mother.
The few times I've met her have been unpleasant due
to her hostility towards me. A few years back, she
tried to pester me on social media, telling me that
I should step aside so my step son's parents could
be together.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
So I feel like she's like she's messaging OP from
fake accounts and is like, Hey, I'm just a passive observer.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, I know, i'mhappy, you must be.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
I've got no no dog again, but you should, you
should step aside.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
You should step aside. I'm obviously gonna make him happy,
can't you see with all the litigation, that's litigation of
love right there?

Speaker 2 (03:11):
I mean, she's obviously gonna make him happy.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Sorry Typo, Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, she she the ex.
She also tried to tell me that he would never
marry me, just as he never married her. Well, when
we got engaged last year, she became enraged. The only
thing that you can be if you're not engaged to
love is that you want love. Enraged and try to

(03:36):
get full custody of my steps on. It backfired because
my steps on didn't want to live with her and
filed with his guardian ad letum, don't know what that means.
Tell me in the chat what that means, or keon
if you have research capabilities to have her custody reduced,
which was granted. So the steps on doesn't want to
be in a relationship with stepmom either, No.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
I mean it's been said multiple times that he does
not get along with his mom. Annie's sixteen years old,
so usually you do get someone of a say, yeah,
on which parent you want to stay with.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Exactly also adletum, going back to your Latin roots. Here
is a Latin term for the lawsuit or for the suit.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
Oh okay, so it's just a lawsuit, you get it. Yeah,
they're lawyering up, the lawyering up. So since then he
has opted to only visit her for a few hours
one Saturday a month. That is quite the wine down there. Yeah.

(04:36):
If she brings up his dad, you leave. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
He puts a timer on, sees how long it takes
her to bring up the dead. He's like, well, we are.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
He's required to answer her phone calls, but if she
tries to guilt or argue with him, he hangs up.
I stay out of all of it as much as
I can. It's between my fiance, my step son, and
his ex. The issue. That's another issue that wasn't enough.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
He's so many issues.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
There's so many issues. The issue is my fiance got
a long awaited transfer that will allow him to live
with me. My fiance offered my steps on the option
to live with his mom or my fiance's sister if
he wanted to stay at the same school and remain
with his friends. My step son opted to move and
live with us, all right, pausing right here, Sophia, Yes,

(05:22):
do you think the ex is going to be okay
with her son living with opim?

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Let me think about it. No, no, no, she hates her.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Yeah, man, being in a relationship, in a forced relationship
kind of sucks.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, be careful who you have kids with. Yeah, this
is true, This is true.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
This is true.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Something that I'm realized. I feel like I avoided so
many landmines accidentally by not having kids with any of
the pass exits that I had.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Well.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
Yeah, yeah, I'm very grateful for you.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, could have easily just as happened.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's why I feel like the two year mark. I
mean again, I know a lot of ours have had
very successful relationships and stuff, and also.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
A lot of reviewers have had very unsuccessful relationships. We
have both sides of the spectrum, which is but I
do think it's beautiful here.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Overall, you should try to air on the side of
waiting at least two years before we marry anyone, Yeah,
or have kids with anyone.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
I agree. I agree. Two years is when all of
my relationships have fallen apart exactly.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
And that's usually mess and.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
That's not a me thing, and that's not me. I've
been perfect in all those relations never done anything wrong.
I've never done anything wrong. It is it is just naturally.
That's when you know whether the relationship is going to
be good or not.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Is that where you get a pet two years?

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yes? Pet, After two years.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
You decide whether or not you want to continue.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
But get dog that dies quickly, just in case, because
you what you want to share custody of a dog
that lives thirty years.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
I understand what you're saying when you could have just
said an old.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Dog or no, you can get a dog that dies.
You don't want to get an old dog. Actually that
would be cute, getting an old dog, But old dogs
have problems.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Take what is a dog that dies quickly? Well, yeah,
clearly has problems.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Well, but it's like like a like a.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Many way, like they were so good and then he's like, no,
get a withering dog.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
A withering dog, A withering dog that'll solve your rat
will will and then you'll know if you're ready for kids.
I guess so, okay, all right, anyway, my stepson opted
to move and live with us.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
I wonder where you're thinking about it now? What like
getting it like a withering dog.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Not a withering dog, but like a Great dane Er
mastiff that has a lifespan of like five years. You're
like in a you're like tied together for a little
over an election season. Like that's like not like like
God forbid your relationship ends after two years.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Definitely, don't get a little a little rat dog years forever.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
You're that's basically a kid at that point.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
It's true.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Yeah, just a hairy kid.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Hairy kid. There there's a very little difference between a
chihuahua and a three year old. It's true. Quote him
on that that was a joke, by the way, to
all the parents of BOTHA wasn't to My stepson opted
to move and live with us. He said he can

(08:09):
FaceTime his friends, and there's a really good stem school
willing to take him mid school year where I live.
The plan for this is to move in the last
two weeks of December. Well, my step son's mom has
tried to fight him moving in with us. She's accused
by fiance of alienating him against her. My fiance has
documented every interaction, in every encouragement he's given to try

(08:32):
and help his son. Men. Things with his mother have
the receipts. What do we always say, have the receipts?
We say, yes, we say receipts. We say receipts, receipts.
We say that which is not written is not codified.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Sam is fine and Kim is fine.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yep, Sam as well. Oh and Kim is fine. And
Kim is fine. And receipts and receipts. Three things we say, yep,
we say three things. Than those are those three things receipts? Please?
The judge signed off on him moving out of state
into my home. This is set off another wave of
intimidation from his ex towards me. She sent me messages

(09:12):
from various accounts on social media telling me I've ruined
her family and that if I really loved my steps
and I'd move closer to them so they can coparent.
I complained to my mom, but she actually sided with
my fiance's ex, saying she has every right to be
upset as her son is moving away. I mean, she
has every right to be sad, but not every right
right to cast you blame onto you.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, your mom. I think your mom is being one
of those sometimes you know people who are.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
Just like contan for contrarian's sake.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Well, yes, but also just trying to see all sides
even when there's pretty obvious kind of bad guy in
a situation, and you.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
Can see all sides and say like and still and
still like what it would have been a normal thing to
say is like, yeah, she has a right to be upset,
but not a right to be upset at you and
harassment you and harass you. No one has a right
to harass anyone.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yeah, don't hate the player, hate the game kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah, yeah, just sends every time she gets one of
these messages, all right.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
Also, another part of the receipt conversation is don't say
anything in writing that you don't want to be a receipt.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
The best mean messages are sent verbally with no one
around you. No one will ever believe you, will ever
believe you, haha, and you like put some like fairy
desks in their face and then run away or one
of those smoke bombs.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, and then she goes in court, and she goes
and then and they'll disappeared in a smoke smoke.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Bomb like sounds like a dream and sounds like the
rest of your story is probably fake too. Yeah, can't
keep your mind straight. No one just disappears. Magic isn't real.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
If you keep your revenge plans unhinged, enuff, no one
will ever believe exactly.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Like have you ever seen that video of the guy? Yeah? Yeah,
I like I forget he was at like Walmart or something,
and then like someone gave him a receipt and then
he ate it in front of them, like he was
like faking being a Walmart employee.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Have you ever seen this hilarious A long receipt to.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
This guy? This guy breaks into a Walmart and goes
behind the returns counter and pretends to be working there,
and a person goes up to him and it's like, hey,
I have this thing to return. It's like, oh, let
me check the receipt, and he's like, yeah, I brought
the receipt. The guy just eats it and then the
guy looks at the versus like what receipt. The person
that came into the wal Mart is like, this guy,

(11:39):
just ate my receipt.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
They're like, you can't return it without the recept.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
The guy's like, I'm sorry. This lady's crazy, Like I
who would eat a receipt? So that goes to show
you if you're unhinged enough, no one will believe the truth.
This is bad advice. You should not listen to this,
and that's my good advice. Anyway, My mom suggested that
maybe I should consider a temporary living situation closer to them,

(12:06):
so as not to disrupt my step son's routine and
help my fiance repair his relationship with his mother. I
mean I could see that. Tell me if you're right,
if you think the mother's right, I have never had
any real desire to move, as I was born and
raised in this town and I love it. I have
also no desire to give up my home. So I
have to ask am I the a hole for not
considering moving closer to them given the circumstances. There is

(12:29):
an updates, But Sophia, what do you think is op
the a hole?

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Honestly no, I think yeah, it makes sense why she
is upset that she no longer you know, can see
her son as consistently. However, she has been making problems
for years, for.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
Any years, and it's not like it's like she's had
so much opportunity to repair the relationship with the steps on.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, and he doesn't want to see his own mom.
It's not like you're keeping him from his mom.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
He's keeping he's trying to from his mind.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah, and so honestly, I think it would be more
unfair if you tried to like force a relationship, force
out relationship when he actively does not want it.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, I agree, I agree, But let us know what
you think in the comments below. Is a P and
a hole yes or no? Sophy and I think no.
But yeah, we're also not parents, so we don't know
what it's like to have your sixteen year old ripped
from your your clutches.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
My clutches, clutches, all right.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
But we have an update already. I'm ready my only
real updates. And also by only real updates, we mean
a hunk and hunk of updates. We we're less than
halfway through this story.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
There's a whole chunk of this story.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
There's old chunk. There's it's like it's like Rocky Road
ice cream, chunks of bunch of stuff.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
It's chunky, it's got nuts in it.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
It's like chunky monkey. That's probably a better, better one. Well, yeah,
it's got it's got chunk. Chunky monkey. Have I don't know,
I only know and monkeys. Probably yeah, yeah, probably not legal?
Ben and Jerry, what are you doing care? I don't know.
I think it's monkey fudge fudgge. Why is it called
a monkey? Probably because banana or banana? I was thinking

(14:09):
because like the caramel chunks were brown and monkeys are brown.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
Well, yeah, I guess that's true.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
Why do you think it's called chunky monkey experiences In
the comments below, we got an update. So my only
real updates are that my fiance we'll call them, Nathan
h my fiances ex we'll call her Judy has received
a cease and desist letter from my fiance's lawyer this afternoon.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Banana ice cream with fudge chucks and walnuts.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
Okay, so I think it's both. It's both the banana.
It looks like monkeys in those bananas.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (14:38):
Judy is only to contact Nathan on their co parenting
app for any issue she may have related to co parenting,
and my step son is available for her to contact.
So we're putting boundaries up, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Boundaries.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Judy is not to contact me under any circumstances, or
a restraining order will be filed.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
I'm glad that we got the law on this.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
I've not heard from her since Sunday. My mom and
I talked it out. I let her know that I
was disappointed that she had so much empathy for my
fiances x and none for me.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
Yeah, like, sometimes you don't want to hear like that.
This person is multi faceted and as reasons, sometimes you
just want to hear yeah, I'm sorry, that.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
Sucks something that. I had a two hour conversation with
a friend about this, and we came to the to
the realization that nuance should only be given if a
person is ready to hear. Yeah, but you should give
as much nuance as that person is ready to hear,
you know. So it's like, yes, we should all get
to the place of nuance that everyone is just doing
our best right. Ideally we should that is what we

(15:41):
should get to. But you know, if you just got
punched by someone, you.

Speaker 4 (15:44):
Don't want to be like, well, he probably has always
probably having a bad day. He's like no, it's like, hey,
that sucks that you got punched, But eventually you want
to get to he's probably having a bad day, because
that is the best way to live life is with
ultimate nuance.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
But you know, people aren't ready for nuance all.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
The way in the immediacy. You just want to be
there for your friends.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yeah, you're like what you just want to say?

Speaker 2 (16:04):
What to have?

Speaker 1 (16:05):
What to have? She admitted she's not really care for
my fiance and it's thought for a long time that
he was leading me on. Oh, bombshell alert. I'm sorry,
the mom is trying to break up the relationship.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Oh I thought that was the X.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
Okay, no, it's the mom. Mom. That is a crazy
thing to just.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Absolutely, She's like, sweetheart, the reason that I was telling
you that I was on the ex's side is because
I hate your husband.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
I hate your husband. That's crazy. That is crazy. Is
that not crazy?

Speaker 2 (16:35):
It's pretty crazy.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
I feel like we just that was dropped, like it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
Very engaged, and she's very he's leading married. She's like,
he's leading me to the altar.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah, he's leading yes to the altar, to the altar.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
The altar.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
That's crazy to be on top of him. Yeah, s
C says, that was crazy. That was crazy. Crazy, that
was crazy. I'm I'm a guy that we're in agreement
that that is crazy. But she's all also a little
suspicious of the custody battle and worries about me being
put into the drama. However, she did apologize to me
for not being more supportive. She did say, it's my
life and she doesn't have to agree with every decision

(17:11):
I make. Even if she is not my fiance's biggest man,
she will remain respectful for my sake.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
It's just like, I guess, if you want to this
this god awful guy, you can.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Do as your mother. I have to be okay with it,
but I am not okay with it. I hate him
still still, But do what you want, do what you want,
you know, I don't know. I feel like that is
like the biggest non support.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yeah, you could get like I love you.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
But you're making a huge mistake and I don't support it.
But I support you in like a metaphorical sense, in
a general sense, but this specifically I don't support at all. Yeah, yeah,
I support you as a as a concept.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Conceptually I support.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
Especially I support practice not so much, not so much.
Since I'm here, I will answer some common questions. When
I wrote my original post, I was upset and it
was kind of stream of consciousness, so I wasn't clear
on certain details. I figured I could take a moment
to paint a clearer picture. All right, let's turn this
Picasso into like a medieval painting of a king. That's
a more clear picture and not you know, a little wonky.

(18:12):
Come on.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah, that was great, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
I was flowers.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
I was just starting to think. I was like, I
feel like the medieval paintings were not as real as
but I couldn't think of a Renaissance painting.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, but like pre Impressionist. Yeah, Renaissance period. Yes, well,
I know it's a period of history, but it's a period.
Is painting period? Yeah, well it goes, it goes Impressionist, modernist?
What's the other one? Abstract period? Is there a blue period? Late?

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
My fiance's mother will call her. Amelia is a wonderful
woman to me, but she did not like my fiance's
X at all. She and I have a wonderful relationship.
She loves her grandson and that's the only reason that
she is civil towards the X. But Amelia has a
lot of suspicion about Judy's behavior. She strongly believes Judy
was after his money.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
I think that she's right.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
Me thinks Judy would be after money.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
Me thinks you are correct.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Me thinks that's all signs point to her being a
miserly woman that is trying to create her own little
little gold pile that she sits on like the dragon
smog smoug smaug. I don't believe that's true, and that
she got pregnant to trap Nathan. I don't really believe

(19:31):
that's true, but it's what she believes. I do know.
Judy and Amelia clashed on several occasions over various things,
including parenting my steps in. Elijah is very excited to
transfer to the Stem school. That's exciting. Yeah, science and stuff.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
He's smart.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Elijah attends a private school in his area that specializes
in science and tech.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
Dude, he's just like Spider Man.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah, he's just like Spider Man. The parents, yeah, are
the parents. Stepparents are the real parents. Uncle Ben's stepparents
are I mean blood parents.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Sorry, well his bio parents are deceased and his his
oh adopted parents are his adopted parents?

Speaker 3 (20:13):
Yes, Uncle Ben.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
In the I'm thinking Spider Man into the Spider verse
right now.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, that's a totally different that's.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
Miles that's miles different. Spider Man. He is very into
computer programming, already knows four different programming languages. I'm a
website ux designer, so I've taught him what I know
as well. Man his learning machine. The STEMS school in
my area is one of the best in the region.
Dang and possibly the country.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Look at this smarty pans his ex mom.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
And that's the main reason why he wants to live
here with me.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
Kitlyn says, wicked smart, wicked smile.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, this school doesn't typically take students mid year, but
they made an exception for Elijah. So not only wicked smart,
he's wicked smart inside the wicked school.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Someone get this kid into Goodwill hunting.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
Get him in there, he's so smart. To end the
court battles between his parents, Elijah has been considered responsible
enough to make his own decisions regarding where he lives,
but he still has to live with a parent or
legal guardian until he's eighteen. It's not quite emancipation, but
he has considered doing that if his mom continues to
make trouble. He still continues to live with his dad,
but can see and do as he wishes, and the

(21:24):
court won't really intervene. Basically, it was to prevent judy
from weaponizing the courts and trying to scream about parental alienation.
I try to stay out of it while being loving
and supportive.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Maybe you shouldn't have should Maybe you shouldn't have alienated
your son.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
He's a little old for me to be mother, but
I want him to know that I'm there for him.
Someone brought up a valid point. Nathan and I are
not yet married. We're getting married and Juno next year.
I call Elijah my stepson because he tells people I'm
a step mom, but nothing is official yet.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
That's cute. I mean, it's obvious that they get They
have a great relationship.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Yeah, much better than him and his you know bio mom.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
I realized that maybe we should take care in using
those labels, as it could cause issues since nothing is
official yet, issues like maybe.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Like the ex mom being you know, causing trouble with
the lawyers and saying this parental alienation, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
Either way, Elijah's happy for us. If he hadn't been,
I don't think i'd have felt comfortable taking a relationship far.
But he's always been a great kid and I love
him because Elijah is so mature, Nathan wanted to give
him the option of where to live. Nathan was originally
supposed to be promoted two years ago and we were
going to move in together sooner, but then things with
Elijah's mom went south and Nathan's work wasn't able to

(22:41):
promote him in a timely manner. It became clear that
if Nathan left, Judy was going to go out of
her way to make it difficult for Nathan to see
Elijah and came up with a lot of baseless accusations.
Between that and his work, Nathan's promotion was delayed by
two years. The original plan was that Nathan would see
Elijah every other weekend, they'd FaceTime daily and spend all

(23:02):
holidays and summers with us while living with his mother.
But didn't work out and Nathan needed to stay. Because
of that, Nathan wanted to give Elijah options on where
he wanted to live. Nathan never planned to abandon his son.
He would still be involved as a dad, and Elijah
really doesn't have a rebelli. He's bone in his body.
His entire life revolves around computers, making websites and programming,
and that is where that story ends. Heck, yeah, it

(23:24):
is wicked smart.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, he's wicki smart, emotionally smart too. He's got a
good mom and dad, stepmom and dad. Yeah, his bio
mom is kind of a mess.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
Kind of a mess, but at least you know her
teens aren't a mess. You know. Gave this kid some
smart jeans, yes, says wicked smart and Sean cases, Wow,
smart kid.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
In two years, he won't have to worry about all
of this legal stuff because he'll be eighteen.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
He'll be a big old adult. Don't worry about doing
big old adult things.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
In about like ten years, he'll be on his own
show called The Big Bang Theory.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Because he's wicked smart.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
He's wicked smart.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
But that's the end of that story. We got another
one coming right up. My girlfriend's spicy food is making
me physically sick.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Well, maybe don't eat it.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
I twenty five mal have been in a relationship with
my girlfriend twenty three female for two and a half years,
and she moved in with me two months ago.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Two and a half years almost that. Yep, our relationship
long living dog, yeah, clear, dover living dog. Not a
little rat dog, not a little rat dog. I'm ready
about it. You're not ready for that.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Our relationship is working out great. We rarely fight, and
even if we get into disagreements, we usually are able
to talk it through without ever getting agitated or aggressive.
By the way, this comes from f my effing life.
And if you want to spit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime subredded.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
I'm Sophia, I'm Sam, I'm Keon, and we're.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Here to give good advice. Goofly. But we don't have
all the answers. We only know what we do, So
let us know what you would do in the comments
and Op says we both have different working hours. She
works from eight am to four pm and I work
from ten am to seven pm. That's not a terrible
difference though. That's not dreadful.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
That's not dreadful. That's a three hour difference.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
Yeah, she can, like I don't know, have some relaxed
time and then you have some two hours to relax
in the mornings.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, you could make dinner for someone, make breakfast for
the other, you know.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
So every day I make breakfast for both of us
and she makes dinner.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
If our relationship guru.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Or what you can shoot up a podcast. Oh, Now,
my girlfriend likes her food a lot spicier than I do.
I can handle spice, but I try to avoid it
because eating spicy foods on a regular basis causes acne, breakouts, heartburn,
and sometimes even the old diaries in your guts.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
That's not good. That's not good.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
Ever since we moved in together and she started cooking dinner,
she likes to make the food spicier as for her
taste buds. Almost four to five days a week we
eat some of some sort of stew or soup with
serrano peppers, tie or Indian curries with a lot of chilies,
and even pasta with Calabrian chilies or jalapenos added to
the sauce. She likes making as spicy.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
I mean to be fair, Spiciness is like another axis
of the food world. You know, you got your sweetness.
Spiciness is like a thing you play with.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
You know the thing is spicy. Certain spices do need
to be added earlier in the meal, like when you're
cooking it, to let out the flavors. However, if she
knows that you can't handle spice, then I think it
would be considerate of her to maybe make like a
separate batch, like you you know, you pull some out
when you need to put the thing in.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
And how's everyone's spice level here?

Speaker 1 (26:41):
I'm a medium, medium, medium spicy.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
I'm mild.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah you can't. I know, we learned last night.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
It depends the spice. Like sometimes you're spice worre it's
like it's just to make it very hot and spicy
if it's for flavor, because usually depending on the culture
of the food, like salsa, like you would put salce
on like your brito, or you're that's fine, like there's
a little spice or hall of Pango's really.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
I love chili oil infa. I love chili.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
I like puting the pinch of that. Yeah, but there's
some people who just I'm putting.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
Well, I feel like, I mean, if I was to
come up with a solution here, it would be like
spice in the side, sauce on the side.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
Yeah, I was gonna say maybe now.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Honestly, it became too much for me. I've had really
bad stomach issues almost twice a week. My acne is
so bad that coworkers have and friends have straight up
told me my face looks disgusting.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Oh wow, that's Those are some nice coworkers and friends.
Either you have a terrible relationship with them or it's
really really good and they feel like they can be
honest with you.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
Those are the best friends. Like I would go to coding, like, dude,
you're ugly.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, I think that I would go to my dermatologists.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Have amatologists on tap?

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Well not on tap?

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, I feel like your dermatologist sounds like you have
like a personal relationship with them.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
Well, I mean I do have a personal dermatologist.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Yeah, but it's like you go do eight dermatists.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
Okay, I'll go to our dermatologists, right, And I take
anti acids almost every day. I tried to tell my
girlfriend to add fewer chilis, make two batches of the food,
or maybe add hot sauce to her portion, but every
time she just tells me to man up. And then
if I can't handle a little spice, I should adapt
since it's not always going to be in my control.
And at that point that's super rude.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
Do you know what I would do?

Speaker 2 (28:16):
What? I just would make my own food.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
One make food, but also just like all right, send
her a photo of the toilet every time. Oh yeah, yeah,
I'm manned up, that's what it looks like.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
Yeah. Yeah, what's it called compliance?

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Malicious compliance?

Speaker 2 (28:31):
Delicious compliance. Last night, after dinner, I told my girlfriend
that we need to figure out some other way to
make dinner which keeps both of us satisfied, because I
can't keep eating like this.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah. Maybe she thought your first thing was like, you know,
it was playful banters a hahaha, just like man up.
But I think you need to tell her like the
serious problem, and I am like my bowels are exploding
with him.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Yeah, once again, I was met with the same thing
she always says, but I helped my this time and
told her that I can in no way continue to
eat the food she is making because it is actively
damaging my health and I'm willing to cook my own
dinner from now on. She has been giving me the
cold shoulder ever since and saying that I do not
value her contributions to the household and that she'll have

(29:16):
to do twice the amount of work because I'm being
a baby over spicy foods.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
You can just make it less spicy.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
I really don't love how she's reacting.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
No, I feel like this is maybe a sign that
you don't have great communication.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, yeah, because if she's not listening to you when
you say it's impacting your health, Yeah, it's not a
great sign. Am I in the wrong here? And there
are some relevant comments, but do you have any of
your own?

Speaker 1 (29:40):
I do not think OP is in the wrong here. Again,
this is the health thing.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Like if like if I said, like if I punched
Sam every day and he was like, hey, can you
stop doing that? You're like bruising me?

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Man, And then I was.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Like man U, yeah, man up. Yeah, the world's not
the world's gonna be punching you every day. You know,
there's there's ops around her.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
I get punched in a another by another person.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
I would also respond to her like, how does one
man up to just constantly go in the bathroom like
four times a week?

Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yeah, I mean exactly like that, just constantly go to the.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Two times a week.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
I would tell her that that's actually going to the
bathroom a lot.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
He said, he's going to the bathroom like at.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
Least four times a week. I feel like it's normal.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
No, no, no, a day.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
I'm a day okay.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
But like I was like worried about time she was
going to the bathroom and shepated.

Speaker 3 (30:26):
Some people are you know.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Four times a week actually, Like I have a friend
that poops like once every three days.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
That's terrible. Every morning.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
They're not getting a fiber and taken.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
I know, I'm confused. I scared for them. Im like,
they eat, they eat, and they're a little little person.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
They're not eating the right stuff. Common one quick question,
if you are making a savory breakfast, do you make
hers differently than yours? Since she likes spice more?

Speaker 1 (30:49):
But what is ad hot sauce? Though?

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Also yeah, like what what even what spicy breakfast is?
I mean, I know there are a different cultures, like yeah,
but that's not necessarily spicy. And you can always put
a hot sauce, which is like a like after.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
The fact thing the fact John here og host, We're
gonna get back to these stories, but a quick three
minute break from ass from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (31:09):
Opie says, So it depends. If I'm just making some
scrambled eggs, then I'll make mine and then add hot
sauce while mixing her eggs. But I sometimes make homemade
sausage patties and those I just make the same sausage
mix then after cooking them all. Serve her sausage sandwich
or whatever with some pickled peppers or sauter so yeah,
so o pie so OPI is here making separate meals

(31:32):
to accommodate for both of them, and she can't do that.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Well, no, he's not making separate meals.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
He's just adding separate sauces, yeah, which is what she
can do. Yeah, but he's like pickling peppers for her.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
He's pickling peppers.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
Yeah, he said, adding pickled peppers.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
Pickled peppers, pie, pickle.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
Peppers, picked a pickled pepper. But there is an update.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
Peppers on the plate. Yeah, he's plating pickle peppers. He's
plating them, placing pickle peppers.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
That night, I came home a little later due to work,
and my girlfriend had made an Asian flavored curry, once
again too hot for me to handle. Genuinely, If too
a hot new bombshell has the toison.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Hot sing bombshell.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Bombshell, Genuinely, if I had to have that conversation with
my partner and then they still didn't listen to me,
I'd be like, hey, this is not okay. I had
one bite, I'd say, hey, this is not okay. It's
not a wonderful type of day. I told my girlfriend

(32:38):
once again that I cannot eat the food she is making,
since it is borderline poisoning me. She rolled her eyes
and told me to fill up on plain noodles since
she can't be bothered to make something else for me,
as she is tired.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Bro, she's such, she stinks.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
I think we're at the two and a half year mark,
and I think this is this is done. I think
this is done. So I told that, since I'm not
eating the food she makes anyway, I would simply start
making my own dinners from now on. She blew up
at me, saying that if I make my own dinners,
then she would be forced to make her own breakfast,
and she doesn't have time to do that. I hadn't
even said anything about the breakfast arrangement, and I would

(33:15):
have been happy to make both of our breakfasts, but
she was in no mood to listen.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
I'm confused what's going on here.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
She just sounds awful.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
Maybe she just sounds really nasty. I feel like she must.
I feel like this is an outsized reaction. She must
be upset about something else in the relationship.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
She must be because this is a ridiculous thing that
is so easily solved, and I'm wondering why she has
so much attachment to beating Ope this who hot food.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
Maybe she doesn't believe Ope is like I don't man
enough for something.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
Maybe that I also just don't think that she actually
believes that Ope is affected by this, because I think
sometimes look.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
At the toilet. The proof is in the toilet.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Put But I think sometimes with people who can handle
like really you know, heavy amounts of spy, Like I
have some friends who can't handle spices at all, and
I'm always kind of surprised by that. I'm like, really
you can't, Like that doesn't even say spicy to me.
But like some people really just can't handle any spice.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
This is like a fingerprint. Everyone has a different palette.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Like like Keith from The Dryass has a geographic tongue,
so like his tongue literally can't handle the spice because
it's so.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Sensitive geographic tongue where it's like when your like.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
Tongue looks like it has like cracks in it, like
plates salt, and like I don't know, because people like that,
they can't even have sour candy yeah, I think I
think he's probably affected better or anyone.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
For that person.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
She ranted about the smallest of things, like how I
don't bother changing into a home clothes before I eat dinner,
or how I get up later than her, I still
get up in time to make her breakfast between seven
and seven thirty am. Yeah, why would you get up
at the same time as her? You don't have work
at the same time. She ranted for maybe ten to
fifteen minutes.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
That's so long.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
She's literally trying to like blame you for things. She's
avoiding the problem and is instead trying to blame you
for things so that she can take the sheet off
of herself.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
She's making more problems than the problem at hand.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
I asked her where this was suddenly coming from, since
she had never mentioned anything of the sort to me.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
Yes, oh, pis a issue. Yeah, oh P seems I mean. Also,
you know, everyone's going to make themselves look chill at
ster own story.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
She went silent and told me to give her space
and that she didn't want to talk to me for
the time being. I went into the guest room and
slept away from her that night. For the next couple
of days, we didn't talk much, each made her own
different meals and stayed in different rooms. On Saturday, I
asked her if she wanted to go for brunch, since
I figured spending some quality time would make us relaxed

(35:40):
and give us time to talk. When we came home,
I asked her if she wanted to talk about what
had happened again. She got quiet and told me to
just forget it and move on, and that the system
we had in place for the past couple of days
was working for both of us.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
It was not. It was not working.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
I was confused because we were now living like two
roommates in a share house and not like two people
in love. I told her that the system was no
way working for me. I can't just stay with someone
I love without saying a single word, eating different meals,
sitting at the same table, sharing no time in the house.
She got even more upset, saying that I was ignoring
her happiness and got annoyed when I said that I

(36:18):
can't just ignore my own feelings. That's when she dropped
the words, why can't you be more like Colin?

Speaker 1 (36:25):
You're joking?

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Why can't you be more like Colin Robinson?

Speaker 1 (36:28):
No?

Speaker 2 (36:29):
He would never say stuff like this. She named Colin
in the argument break up, break up?

Speaker 1 (36:38):
Is this a red flag? Yeah? Let us know? In
the comment is this a red flag?

Speaker 2 (36:42):
My girlfriend just name dropped another guy and compared me
to him in the middle of our argument. I immediately asked
who was Colin, and she stayed silent. After a lot
of questioning, she's crickle truth.

Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yeah, crickle truth. She wants to tell you that she's
been getting spicy with another man food.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
After a lot of questioning, she said he was a
guy at her workplace. Colin is in a relationship with
some other girl in the same office. They're good friends
with my girlfriend, and it seems they have similar taste
in almost all things, like my hobbies.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
Men men similar tastes, and men think so. Her and
her workplace colleague and Colin on a little pollicu.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Me and my girlfriend, on the other hand, have about
a fifty to fifty ratio. Oh of like liking the
same things. I don't have any hobbies other than I
like watches and watching tennis patches. Those aren't hobbies.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
Liking watches.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Liking watches isn't a hobby.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
I think it could Abby a hobby.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
I don't think so, you're just telling time, but fancier.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
Interest and interest is in a hobby. If you were,
like your hobby was fixing up watches.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
Yeah, I guess a hobby needs to be active.

Speaker 2 (37:51):
A hobby needs to be active.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
How about collecting watches.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
That's still an interest. I don't think that's like maybe
maybe that's more of.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
A liking cards a hobby.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
I think I think that's I think collecting watches is
closer to hobby.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
I think by like watches, he's saying I like collecting watches.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
Yeah, likes watches. What's wrong with that?

Speaker 2 (38:10):
I just don't think that you have hobbies like looking
at trains that could be a hobby, because that's if
you're going out watch it, watch it. That's not enough
a hobby.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
How does that different than looking at trains? Sam?

Speaker 2 (38:22):
If your girlfriend only hobby was just looking at watches,
I don't think that you would.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
I have a higher bar or what kind of hobbies
I want my partner to have. But I think that
you could say, all right, watching birds is that a hobby? Yeah?
That's active as watches, Yes they do. If a guy
is walking through space.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
What is people whose hobby is taxi?

Speaker 1 (38:51):
Look, the watch is moving, what is it?

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Hobby is taxi? Their hobby isn't looking at taxidermy, it's making.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
So if you are going to museums, you're just looking
at art.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
What I say, like that musims, that's a hobby. I
work in a highly technical field designing construction equipment, while
she and by extension, Colin and his girlfriend work in
a very creative field fashion and ornament designing. So my
girlfriend essentially has built up a mental image that Colin
is in a perfect relationship because he and his girlfriend

(39:26):
have the exact same interests, and honestly, both of them
have much more similar interests with my girlfriend than me.
So now my girlfriend wanted me to become more like
Colin so that our relationship can become more like theirs.
I tried to tell her that all relationships are different
and the only thing which matters is that we're happy together.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
She does not seem very happy.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
Sounds like she yeah, He's like it's okay, it just
matters if we're happy together. And she's like, well, we're happy, right,
We're very happy.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
Right. She's like no, see, all right, but also yeah,
just to refresh right. She was mad and was unmoving
on a very small thing. If that happens in a relationship,
usually there's something bigger.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
And here was. She wanted you to be like Colin.
She tried to end the conversation, saying that she is
not comfortable talking about this with me, too bad, to
which I said that if she wasn't going to talk
about this with me, who else would you talk to?

Speaker 1 (40:20):
Collein? Colin? Colin, Oh, who are you going to call?

Speaker 2 (40:24):
Colin? Colin?

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Time Colin.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
She just said that she was going to stay over
at a friend's house and we would talk tomorrow. And
she left.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Yeah, probably calling to work next sick, calling to work
sick next tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
At this point I was overwhelmed and confused, so I
decided to spend the rest of the day searching for
good couples counselors since I could see which way our
relationship was going. I woke up Sunday morning and she
was already home.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
You don't have to call a relationship counselor to see
where this is going.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yeah, it's pretty clear.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
Look at where it's going.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
You just look out the window at where.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
It's going down.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
I cooked breakfast for both of us, but she had
already eaten at her friend's house. She started the conversation
by saying how bad she has been and that I
deserve better. Break up conversation.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
She cheated, she cheated, I've been a bad girl, so bad,
I've been so bad.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
I was confused because rather than apologizing, she was just
stating all the things which made her a bad person.
She's like, I'm so bad, I did all this. And
he's like, okay, I gonna say sorry. And she's like,
and I also did this, say sorry about that? Nope, okay.
I told her to just come to the point, and
she told me she had been approached by Colin and
his girlfriend to join their relationship as a third.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Oh my god, that was pretty clear. I was pretty
thought it was. I thought that maybe they were going
to be cheating with Jess calling. I didn't know it
would be a third. Yep. I was also, that's so bold, yeah,
to be like, I don't feel I heard it. I
haven't heard many cheating situations where it's like, like, your
affair partner is not just one person, it's a cup two,

(42:04):
like I've heard, we've heard of multiple affair partners, but
we've never heard of joints like a couple being the affair.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Oh, so I think it's pretty bold for like your
coworker to approach you with that.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
I was silent for some time and just asked her
to pack up and leave. She tried to hug me
and talk to me, but I just pushed her off,
told her to give me the keys before leaving, and
went into the extra room and cried my heart out.
She came into my room maybe thirty to forty minutes later,
started crying after seeing me. She started cursing herself out
again and saying that I deserve better. But I just

(42:36):
told her that our tears meant nothing to me. That night,
I got a call from an unknown number. It was
Colin Oh.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
He was calling.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Well, then you know that your girlfriend gave him the number.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
He started swearing at me about how I dared to
make girlfriend cry and that'll f me up?

Speaker 1 (42:54):
What Colin no be called in sick?

Speaker 2 (42:59):
Yeah? She I hung up on him after telling him
that he can have her to himself and I'd rather
pass away than see her again. That's a crazy Some
people are just crazy like this man actively steals Oh,
P's girlfriend and then.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
Colin, don't talk about my girlfriend like that?

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah? What?

Speaker 1 (43:16):
Yeah, come on, come on, there's more.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
A couple days later, while leaving for work, I saw
that someone had keyed my car and destroyed the plants
I keep outside my front door. I have a suspicion
about who it was. I think I think it was
absolutely Colin, but don't have any proof, so I'm not
filing any charges. I will set up cameras around my
property soon, though. You gotta set them up.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Eight eight pe, Yeah, I agreed, Colin.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Colin's on the case.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
He's on the case. He's making his rounds.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
As for my girlfriend, she has tried calling me multiple times,
but I decline every time. At first, she left voicemails
about how sorry she is and she just wants to talk.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
On crocodile t gragat alders to get.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
Closure, but after I did not call back even once.
Now she's leaving comments about my past traumas and fears
that I had talked to her about even speaking about
the multiple times she had Colin and his girlfriend over
to my house when I was not at home and
telling me what all they had done.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
What they were smooching on the low.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
This is crazy. What's your angle? Girl? You're like, no,
take me back.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
Well, just like when people get in this situation, they
cycle between being angry, angry, defensive, conciliatory.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
I'm so disgusted by the fact that i wasted almost
three years of my life with her. I've been seeing
a therapist regularly, also planning a weekend get away with
two of my best friends to Vegas. Slowly but surely,
I'm getting better, majorly due to my friends. Don't know
where i'd be without those two. There is a little
bit left to this story.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
I mean, just like she's given you every reason to
move on very quickly. I mean, there is any silver lining.
She has given you numerous reasons to be like, all right,
I am done with you. You were not a good person
to begin with. Let's move on.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
Let's let's get out of here.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
Let's get out, Let's get it out.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
Stinks. I am considering selling this house and moving elsewhere
due to security concerns and emotional reasons, but I'm not
sure if that would be the right move. I'm also
worried that she might share my address with my family
members who I'm not in contact with so that is
another factor. I'm trying to get an internal transfer at
my current company since I like the working culture. But

(45:32):
if that does not work, I might just look for
jobs in other cities too. That sucks. Like literally, this
all started because Would He was like, Hey, I just
can't handle that.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
Do you think she was purposely trying to poison him
and trying to him break up with her?

Speaker 2 (45:48):
Yeah? I think so.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Yeah, I mean I probably just trying to try to
be difficult. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
My main focus was just making sure I don't do
something hugely damaging to myself. Now that I've had two
to three weeks to down and get some control over myself,
I'll start looking at the longer picture. I don't think
there will be any more updates after this. Hopefully my
life just becomes a little more boring after and I
can live peacefully for something.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
Oh man, dang rough, you have tough dogs. Yeah, I
can't believe it all started from like yeah, I think.
I mean, I think that's something that often happens, that
people will make a big deal out of a small
thing because there's actually a big deal beneath the small thing.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
It's always it's always the.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Case always sometimes the case, something always sometimes the case
Sean Caseys Colin sounds very manipulative. Ope's X needs to
be careful. I mean, I think sure, But I think
OP doesn't need to care about that anymore. I think
she can fend for herself. M But do we got
one more story? Oh? Baby, we got one more story

(46:58):
for y'all. Hey, it's sam oj We're gonnet back to
these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from
our sponsors to help support the show. My partner couldn't
stop lying?

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Why you always?

Speaker 1 (47:08):
Ye and me, thirty six female, have been with my partner,
thirty four male, for almost a decade. He's always had
a problem with lying. That is a terrible start.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
You should Yeah, he always had a problem line.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah. I came in with such a healthy heart and
mindset when I met him that I automatically gave him
love and trust. He, on the other hand, was always
skeptical of what I was doing and the intent behind it,
probably because he's always lying and that's like what he
does for himself.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
This is mo o.

Speaker 1 (47:37):
My ego was so low that I didn't care what
I needed to do to make him feel his best
and I personally saw it as my duty as a
good partner to make him feel secure with me. By
the way, this comes from tapidvand forty four to twenty
two and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Sam,
I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good
advice goofly, but we don't have all the answers. We

(47:57):
only know what we would do, So let us know
what you would do. In the comments below, so Opie
says I didn't know his past, and if someone had
heard him before, I wanted him to know that he
was my priority and that I would do everything to
make him feel safe anywhere I was. No matter how busy,
I always picked up his calls. Many times I would
even stay on a call for several minutes, putting everyone
else on hold. I never declined his calls or told

(48:21):
him I'm busy, I'll talk later. He liked photos, so
I constantly took pictures of everything and showed him, which
I gladly shared.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
I worry that this is maybe you have a person
who is a liar and avoidant, and then op who's
maybe a little bit anxiously attacked, anxiously attached.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
It's never a good combo.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
Never a good combo. Sometimes he accused me of lying
or sounding sketchy, even though I had never given him
a reason not to give me the benefit of that
out projection. Still, I always made sure to fix it
or do whatever was needed for him to believe me.
When he would give me the silent treatment and be cold,
I'd cater to him even more since if I constantly

(49:00):
asked him what was wrong, he still wouldn't say. Instead,
he'd get more upset, and I didn't want to risk
losing him. Yeah again, recipe, I feel like OP knows
in retrospect that this is not a good relationship.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
Absolutely, Yeah, it does seem like that.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
We made it clear when we started dating that honesty
was a must, but he's constantly broken the rule. While
always expecting honesty and transparency.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
For men, This is like a breakup.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
He would go from not telling me anything important to
saying things like I can't believe he didn't tell me.
I've tried to be understanding and patient, but it's taken
a lot on my mental health, amongst other stuff. He does.
I've developed PTSD with nightmares daily that worsened when his
family's involved, an anxiety from dealing with his lies.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
Worry that you're still in this relationship, I hope not.
I worry that this is sounding like you're still in that.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
At first, when some things didn't make sense, I'd ask
him once and take his answer to what they were.
But then when more things stopped making sense, I started
softly asking more questions. He'd get upset and say, what's
wrong with you? You don't understand simple things? Why do
you keep asking when I already told you? I was
always painted as being paranoid or overreacting. But as time
went on, I started doing more detective work, and I

(50:06):
uncovered that my instincts were rights.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Yeah, trust your instincts, Trust your instincts.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
You know again, trickle lying is the same thing lying
all the way down.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
If he's just telling white lies, yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
Not good. He's lied about big things and small things,
which is usually true of compulsive liars. Maybe small lies
to cover up the big lies.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Yeah, it's it's a snowballs.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
Ball, snowball lies, and it only gets bigger the more
you push that snowball down the mountain of lies. I've
tried to communicate my expectations of transparency and was eager
to answer any questions on the roads regaining trust, But
he always ends up getting defenses and says that I'm
being controlling, are harmful in my tone and words. For example,
these days, when he gaslights me repeatedly, I've learned to say,

(50:55):
are you stupid? From him previously saying that to me
in arguments.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
See when it gets to that point.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Because now you're becoming the person that you don't like.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
Yeah, and if it's like, if you don't like when
he says that, then we just leave the relationship. We
don't turn it on our partner.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Recently, when his family made a last minute visit and
I had to be away, I told him not to
lie about even the smallest thing. Again that is already.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
Yeah, if you are already having to tell him because
you know that he's a liar, Oh, please do not
lie even about like tiny little things. This relationship is over.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
Asking the liar not to lie about lying is like asking.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
A fish to swim not to bark.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
Yeah, asking a little rat to wawa dog not to bark. Specifically,
they bark all the time. It's in their nature. He
reassured me and said he'd be so transparent that it
would feel like I was right there with him. Well,
not too long after, he lied about something as small
as eating a piece of bread, and then got defensive
when I confronted him. He added a few more micro lies.

(51:52):
As we argued about the initial one he hit me with.
I said, I'm sorry, and I won't lie again. What
more do you want me to say? You won't drop it.
I'm tired of this bay. It's not just about the bread.
It's about the fact that he can't seem to tell
the truth even when it's easy. I've said a few
things to him during arguments, one of which is the
constant lying. Knowing it's hurting your partner is husband material,
and I crave to be with a man who can

(52:14):
be easily transparent with me because he respects me enough
honor what I'm not comfortable with. Also, just a quick reminder,
if someone's a compulsive liar, they're probably a people pleaser.
They're lying to appease.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
You, right yeah, because they know you won't maybe like,
won't like a certain thing, and so it's just easier
for them to lie.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
There often a connection with adultery and people pleasing, because again,
like you want to please everyone, and if someone asks
you to do something something frisky, you're like, well, I
don't want to make them upset, and maybe I want
to do that too. You know, It's like it's all,
it's all kind of connected. It's all connected, it acted,
it's one big pyramid scheme man, because he respects me

(52:56):
enough to honor what I'm not comfortable with. This of
course includes him, but he chooses to disqualify himself all
the time. I've stuck around this long to prove, Oh,
this long, and I think this is present day.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
He's still with this person.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
God, I've stuck around this long to prove I don't
want any other man for it. He is morally towards me,
specifically me. He treats others better.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
I don't understand why you're putting yourself help through freaking crucifixion.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Lying is a norm with him and his family, and
my experience with them has helped me pinpoint the root
of this habit and the reason he uses lying to
cope in his life. Still, I told him it's unacceptable
in our relationship the same way he doesn't want me
to lie, but seeing me emotionally break down isn't enough
for him to stop. When he said to me, if
you want to go find another guy that you crave,
I was infuriated, cut him off and said, okay, oh phu,

(53:44):
why are you? I knew he was going to make
it seem like I wanted another guy and not focus
on the honesty part, as if I don't deserve someone
who is honest with me. But it's a little bit more.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
Check out of this relationship.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Check out of this relationship.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
It's bad, and you know it's bad. Yeah, if someone's
consistently lying, what is the reason of what I just
don't like? Is there any redeeming quality here about him,
about this man that is lied for the whole term
of your relationship?

Speaker 1 (54:10):
I don't think so. But opas am I the a
hole for getting angry about being lied to about a
piece of bread and other small things. I did ask
him not to lie while I was away, even about
the smallest thing, because historically when he lies about small things,
there's always a huge thing behind it, to which he
promised not to and even said he'd be so transparent
that it would feel like I was there anyway, so

(54:30):
it feels like betrayal. Shouldn't that request be enough to respect? Yes? Yeah,
I broke up with someone from a small lie because
she lied about big things. Yeah, and I have no
regrets exactly. I wanted to know if I'm being unreasonable, Yes,
you are. He seems to not understand my fistration. Are
you guys able to understand it? Or am I wrong.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
Being unreasonable because you're still in this relationship?

Speaker 1 (54:54):
You should leave not listening? Too reasonable to think this,
I think, Yes, it's like, oh, like, oh, she's a
small thing saying I should let it go, Like, I
understand that logic, But again, it's not a small thing.
This is a consistent, big thing that has encompassed the
whole relationship. Breaking up because someone disrespects a boundary that
you put up because of big things in the past

(55:15):
with a small thing, is I think.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
The healthiest thing the healthiest thing?

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Yeah? And I think, well, I think like I've had
relationships in the past where like partner has been doing
something that hasn't been okay, and I put up a
boundary and then there's been a small transgression of that.
I actually like, for me, it didn't feel bad breaking
up with those partners because it symbolized a disrespect of
the boundary in general and of like the relationship context.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
I agree. I think if you put up a boundary,
and in this case, he consistently disrespects it, then he's
not going to ever respect you because you've shown that
it doesn't even matter when you put up boundaries, because
you're not going to actually follow through.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
Lori Hensler has a bar in the chat right now
and says you cannot have an authentic relationship when you
aren't dealing with the truth.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
True, and that's true. That is true there, Yeah, But truthfully,
I think there's a little.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
Bit like that's it. Truthfully, that's the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
And that story and if you love us, make sure
to subscribe We love

Speaker 1 (56:13):
You and see you tomorrow.

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I REFUSED to move closer to my fiancé’s ex! | Reddit Stories | EP2352

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I REFUSED to move closer to my fiancé’s ex! | Reddit Stories | EP2352