I REFUSED to wear pants at home… now my roommate’s girlfriend is furious! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient
two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient
wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to
hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more
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the next two minutes or so.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
I refuse to wear pants at home. Now my roommate's
girlfriend is furious. My roommate and I have been friends
since middle school nearly eleven years, and we are very
comfortable with each other. He identifies as SIS and straight,
while I identify as they them non binary APAB and
queer slash saffiic. By the way, this comes from consistent

(00:40):
ad two two four, and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So,
at no point has our friendship been anything more than platonic,
going as far as both of us making the same
sour face when my boss mistakenly referred to him as
my boyfriend. Wants, needless to say, we're very comfortable with
each other.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
I don't know about anybody else, but I don't like
wearing pants. More often than not, they feel itchy and restricting,
so I frequently wear a pair of boxers around the
house Bickley briefs with a longer leg that could pass
as really small.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
And tight shorts. This is not the issue.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Roomy and I both do this as we have an
understanding that the human body is just that, nothing to
scandalize or hide away. We live in a house that
Roomy owns and I pay rent to him. A few
weeks ago, he asked if I would be uncomfortable if
he asked his long term girlfriend to move in. I
had no problem with this, as I've met her quite
a few times and she's absolutely lovely. Our dog that

(01:41):
doesn't really trust people warmed up to her almost immediately,
as did my cat and my rats. Fast forward to
last week. She moves in and we're having dinner together
her first night. We're laughing, drinking, having a good time.
Then the conversation of house boundaries comes up. She wants
to make sure I'm not going to be uncomfortable as

(02:01):
I'm living with them as a couple, and wants to
know my opinion on things like PDA around the house
and their spicy sleep life.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
I told them.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
I don't really care about PDA as it's her house
now too, and if they're going to have spicy sleep,
I would prefer if it was contained mostly to their
bedroom or bathroom, places I don't have to interact with
and places they can easily clean. I also said, I
don't care if they do it when I'm home, but
to keep the volume to a minimum, at the very
least low enough that I can't hear them through noise

(02:30):
canceling headphones.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
I feel like that's just like normal, decent normal.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
You shouldn't have to have gloiation about that, And if
they need me out of the house for an hour
or two, to just give me a heads up so
I can make plans. Then it was my turn. I
asked if she was comfortable with me bringing friends slash
potential partners, over which she had no issue with. I
asked about the pants thing, explaining the over stimulation problems
I have. We're both on the spectrum, so she understood

(02:57):
it and said she would just prefer if I didn't
do it in front of her. Totally understandable. Not everyone
is comfortable with it, So I said I would put
on a pair of sweatpants or a robe if I
needed to leave my room while she was home. A
few days ago, I was home alone making dinner in
the kitchen when she came home from work early. Everyone
in the house works in some sort of medical field
with a very set schedule and routine, so this was

(03:20):
a surprise for sure. I didn't hear her coming in
the door in time to get to my room and
pull something on, but luckily I was wearing an oversized sweatshirt.
I quickly pulled it down to try to cover up
at least a bit more. As I profusely apologized to
her and awkwardly excused myself and ran away to go
put on actual shorts. I thought everything was fine until

(03:41):
last night, when she confronted me. She said she thought
she was fine with it, but coming home the other
afternoon made her realize she really was uncomfortable with the
idea of me walking around unclothed. I apologized again, saying
I absolutely would have put pants on if I knew
she was going to be home early, but I was
really sorry that I had made her comfortable regardless, she

(04:01):
asked that I not walk around without pants anymore. Ever,
I asked for clarification and questioned why it would matter
if she wasn't home, and offered maybe she could text
me next time she was coming home early so we
could avoid it happening again. She said she doesn't want
to be responsible for my actions and would prefer if
I would just not do it. I laughed a bit,
thinking she was joking.

Speaker 5 (04:22):
She was not.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
She wants me to wear pants all the time, regardless
of if she's home or not, even when I'm in
my room with the door closed.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
I told her, absolutely not.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
I have no problem putting pants on when I'm around her,
but I will not be forced to put pants on
in the privacy of my own bedroom. She stormed off,
seemingly pretty frustrated. And I don't really like where the
conversation ended. But am I the a hole?

Speaker 4 (04:46):
We do have comment?

Speaker 5 (04:47):
You are literally wearing shorts in your house covered. You're
wearing shorts.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
If things were like hanging out, I'd be like, yeah.

Speaker 5 (04:55):
Yeah, that would be maybe not so cool, But they're not.
You're wearing shorts.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yes, And to say that you can never be unclosed
in your room, you must re.

Speaker 5 (05:06):
Name covered for the rest of your life.

Speaker 4 (05:08):
I want you to shower in clothes.

Speaker 5 (05:10):
I cannot bear to think about your unclothed body.

Speaker 6 (05:14):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
We have some comments comment one.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
So if it was just the common areas she wanted
you to wear pants in, I'd think it was more reasonable.
But in the privacy of your own room she can
f right off with that. I'd suggest just getting something
else you can slip on quick. Someone else suggested basketball shorts,
which sound perfect for this, and do whatever the f
you want in your private space, and OP responds, I'm

(05:37):
on the thicker side, so they tend to ride up
weirdly and I have to adjust them pretty frequently when
moving around. They're great for lounging, though, thank you for.

Speaker 4 (05:44):
The suggestion comment too.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Perhaps she is uncomfortable because she finds the sight of
your legs attractive, and she deep down fancies you, but
is so deep in the closet that she refuses to
recognize it. Then she thinks if I get turned on
when she when they walk about like that, then so
will my boyfriend. Anyway, not the a hole. She can't
control what you wear in the privacy of your own room,

(06:07):
even if she was the head tenant. This was your
home before it was hers, and it is her who
must adapt. Comment three, has this been discussed with your roommate?
He needs to know about her one point eighty What
you do in your bedroom is none of her business,
and we have an update.

Speaker 6 (06:26):
Boy, oh boy.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
As for moving out, that's not financially possible for me
at the moment. My income has tanked severely since Roomy
and I got our original apartment four years ago, and
because it's his house now, we negotiated a deal that
worked out best for both of us until I can
get my schooling done and get back on my feet.
As part of our original agreement, I called a house

(06:49):
meeting to discuss a major problem in a safe space.
I started it by addressing Roomy by saying, I'm sure
girlfriend has talked to you about the discomfort she has
with me and Boxer. Here's the kicker. He had no
idea what I was talking about. She didn't bring it
up to him, and she seemed really embarrassed that I
was making a house meeting out of the wall.

Speaker 5 (07:11):
Then maybe you shouldn't have made a problem out of it.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Rumy kindly but firmly defended me, almost immediately, reiterating that
those were they agreed upon rules and wanted to know
what a change. Girlfriend grew increasingly tense as she threw
out half budded responses like my cheek was hanging out
or they are see through, neither of which are possible
due to the length and nature of the fabric. Shout

(07:36):
out Mundy's Roomy asked one more time if this was
going to continue to be a problem when girlfriends started
to tear up. Both of us panicked because she's typically
a stoic and calm person otherwise. This is when she
revealed she has been struggling with her gender slash spicy
related identity for a few months now.

Speaker 6 (07:57):
God wait, no, she is everyone trolled it.

Speaker 5 (08:00):
She real she is attracted.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Her family is somewhat conservative, but not in the God
hates attracted to the same gender ways, but more along
the lines of.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
That's not for us.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
She'd been repressing the thoughts and emotions for a few
months at that point, and apparently unexpectedly coming home to
me in a pair of underwear and a massive sweatshirt
on was the straw that broke the camel's back, cementing
her attraction.

Speaker 6 (08:27):
Wet shirt.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Shirt, tormenting her attraction to more than one identity. Apparently
she had been thinking about asking me about it for
a few days at that point, but the shock of
coming home to that and how it made her feel
scared her and I caught some misdirected frustration.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
Slash anger, we have another update.

Speaker 5 (08:48):
But wow, Okay, I think it's gonna turn out Okay, Yeah,
unless your roommate is upset that his girlfriend is into you.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
I mean, if this goes beyond just the girlfriend being.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Like I realize, attracted to a lot of people, and
goes into like I'm in love with you, yeah, she might.

Speaker 6 (09:05):
Just move out here.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
She might be like she's like my boyfriend.

Speaker 6 (09:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
We had a long conversation about what being queer in
both senses of the word meant to me and what
she related to most. She is still very much attracted
to and in love with Rumy, so we settled with
her more than likely being somewhere in the Bye tupan
spicy related spectrum. Turns out the two of them have
the same taste.

Speaker 4 (09:29):
In fem people.

Speaker 6 (09:31):
They do they both like you?

Speaker 4 (09:32):
No, because that was very apparently not the case at
the beginning.

Speaker 6 (09:36):
I don't okay.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
That was my initial thought too, though, and before anyone
gets any ideas. None of us match each other's type.

Speaker 5 (09:44):
Well apparently your Oh well yes, Matt, so you're her type.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
But but her and I planning on going window shopping
and a fashion show in the premiere artisanal boutique called
My Closet this weekend to further experience the fem to
mask clothing spectrum. Best part is it's super close to
our house. All we have to do is walk up
a flight of stairs. I'm assuming they're talking about their

(10:10):
own closet.

Speaker 6 (10:11):
I think so. I think so.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
Not the most dramatic ending, but everybody's happy.

Speaker 5 (10:16):
Yay perfect, That's all we needed.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
I love it.

Speaker 5 (10:22):
I had an allergic reaction and my friend thought I
was making it up.

Speaker 4 (10:26):
You're not actually allergic.

Speaker 5 (10:28):
So I eighteen female have a thing going on with
my group of friends for pretty much all of high
school that we hang out on Sunday evenings at someone's house.

Speaker 6 (10:36):
The host changes.

Speaker 5 (10:37):
Week to week, whoever is able to host that week.

Speaker 6 (10:40):
That's fun.

Speaker 5 (10:40):
By the way, this comes from throw a Dish and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So anyways, the
agreed upon thing was that we all chip in like
five dollars for food, usually pizza and stuff. Some gave
more if someone else was in a rough spot, and
it always works fine. One friend, Carla's eighteen female parents

(11:01):
own a pretty successful restaurant, so they liked to cook
rather than just order pizza, which is great on its own.
We all still chip in five dollars or so for ingredients.
The problem that happened is the dad who likes to
cook doesn't take criticism well and always make something I
either can't eat due to allergies or just am not into.
I stopped joining in slash chipping in money when they

(11:24):
would host, so I wouldn't let so I wasn't a
letdown for a while. I had definitely been as clear
as an awkward girl can be about what my issues
analogies were. My family has never been very wealthy and well,
we ended up homeless for a while, so the hangout
nights became a night I could eat something special without
worrying too much. Plus, my friends were always great about

(11:44):
sending me back with leftovers if they could, so Sunday
I decided to join in on the meal at Carlo's house. Again,
I gave money for it. Per usual, it turned out
to once again be something I'm allergic to. I wanted
to cry because essentially I wasted five dollars that I
could have used, not wanting to confront them about getting
the money back or being a party pooper. I ate

(12:06):
some Now the allergy wasn't anaphalactic, but I broke out
in hives. My face was very red and swollen. Two
more friends told me I was being an attention seeker,
and someone else told me I ruined nights at Carla's house.

Speaker 6 (12:18):
So am I the ale.

Speaker 5 (12:19):
I didn't want this to happen at all, and I
don't want to lose my friends. And there are some
relevant comments, but a lot of people are saying, not
the a hole. Opie is eighteen years old, is you
know has been unhoused? Clearly is he you know?

Speaker 6 (12:33):
Yeah? Has food in security?

Speaker 5 (12:34):
Comes to this house, pays five dollars, is given something
that they cannot eat, eats it because they don't want to,
like cause a fuss.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
Or waste the five dollars that they have dollars.

Speaker 5 (12:46):
Because again they are food insecure, and then everyone gets
mad at them.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
It's insane, insane.

Speaker 5 (12:52):
Stay at home babe says Info. Did Clara and her
dad both know what your allergies were? Opie says, yes,
all my friends and their parents know since I often
have meals at their house. My parents have always been
careful about where and what I eat.

Speaker 6 (13:06):
Need to know.

Speaker 5 (13:06):
Basis says everyone sucks here. You said you didn't chip
in whenever Carla hosted because her dad completely disregards your allergies.
Why did you think this time would be different? Then
you ate, knowing you were going to have a reaction.
You should have sat this went out like you've been
doing ps. The dad is a bigger a hole and
the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They need
to get over themselves. Opie says, I realized that now

(13:29):
I should have sat out. But on Thursday, when we
found out Carla was going to be hosting again, I
told my friends that I wanted to try it again
and reminded Carla about my allergies. In Specifix, Sinny and
Twiggy says Info, what happened the first time they made
something you're allergic to that you remind them about it.
It must be super frustrating not being able to eat.
But also if there's a larger group of you. Maybe

(13:51):
Dad needed reminding of allergies in the group, Opie says,
I reminded Carla the first time, and after that I
would remind her when it was her turn hosting.

Speaker 6 (14:00):
Sinnied.

Speaker 5 (14:01):
Twiggy says, everyone sucks here. You knew what happened if
you eat the food. But also they should take your
dietary needs into account. Maybe your folks could speak to
Carlo's folks. D needs to understand you can't eat certain
things and that money is tight so you don't want
to waste it. Obi says, that's a good idea. I'll
ask if they can talk to them. My mom doesn't
really know what happened. I was waiting to see it

(14:22):
if it would die down, but Carla hasn't spoken to
me all week, and Alex is hosting this Sunday, but
I don't know if I'll make it awkward by going,
So I'll tell my mom in the morning. And there
are more comments, so we're gonna pause here.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
So it's a rotating dinner thing.

Speaker 6 (14:39):
It's a rotating dinner thing.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, every other house is able to accommodate your allergies,
so clearly it's nothing crazy to try to have to
fix to adapt to.

Speaker 5 (14:48):
Also, there's like, no allergies are that hard, Like you
can adapt to any allergy?

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yes, yes, really, like they have been reminded of said allergies.
I'm sure that they you know that they're having housing
in food troubles.

Speaker 4 (15:03):
Yeah, And how do you say everyone sucks here?

Speaker 5 (15:06):
I don't kid like, I truly like I understand maybe
to like Opie is an ale to themselves in the
sense that like they put themselves.

Speaker 6 (15:15):
In d Yeah, but they no one was listening.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
To her, right, It's a point of like such frustration
that you're like, fine.

Speaker 6 (15:22):
I'll eat it.

Speaker 5 (15:22):
Yeah, Okay, you're gonna give me the stuff that I
paid for that I cannot eat?

Speaker 6 (15:26):
Fine?

Speaker 4 (15:26):
Yeah, oh I broke in hives choker, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (15:30):
Like I don't. I don't. I don't think that Ope
is the whole for this. Uh.

Speaker 5 (15:34):
Calico Gray says, everyone saying that you're a moron for
eating stuff you're allergic to probably doesn't know what it's
like to be really poor and desperately hungry, not the ale.
I'm sorry that everyone has reacted so badly, and op
says it definitely was a dumb decision on my part.
I just didn't expect it to affect other people. I
suppose I didn't expect to lose friends over this bog

(15:55):
which says, seriously, I haven't seen anyone point this sound
until now. What kind of friends are aware of the
situation Opie and their family are in and still make
them contribute five dollars to the group dinner every time?
I know Carla's dad is apparently buying ingredients with the
pooled money, but it still seems like a ridiculous amount
to be charging an eighteen year old kids who don't

(16:16):
have an independent source of income if you insist on
cooking versus them choosing to order a pizza. Even in
the latter scenario, if I were eighteen and told my
not wealthy parents that my friend and their family were
going through all of this so it was really hard
for them to scrape together a spare five dollars for
pizza with the group, they would have walked to their wallets,
pulled out twenty dollars and told me to make sure

(16:38):
I paid for both of us and to give my
friend the change to keep after OPI are your friends
from wealthy or privileged backgrounds where they can't wrap their
head around your situation or something. They're extremely naive and sheltered,
and what's far worse is they seem to lack any empathy.
Totally not the ale Opie says. I know I'm late
to reply to this comment, but to answer, I actually

(17:00):
am one of the only poor kids in my friend group.
Carly is funnily enough, the wealthiest and knows it very well.
Definitely makes sense here. That's partly why the friends who
are upset with me are upset that I may have
ruined Carla hosting, since her house is extremely nice and
we usually get the whole furnished basement speed to ourselves
when we go there. I only hosted a few times

(17:22):
in the past, and everyone's probably too nice to say anything.
The more I say about it, the more cliche it sounds.
But I'm honestly from a rougher part of town. I
just grew up with my friends through common interests. We
don't usually talk about money because it's a big insecurity
of mine. Oh, Pisa and edit. Okay, this has got
a lot more attention than I was expecting. I'd like

(17:42):
to clarify a few things and answer some questions. I'm
not really upset at Carla or her parents more frustrated
it happened this way. I didn't want any conflict at all.
I was not aware that allergies worsen with exposure, nor
do I often expose myself to my allergens. It's been
a long time since I've had an allergic reaction, so

(18:03):
I admit my knowledge needs to be updated, and that's
my own responsibility. So did they even give ope, like
a like oh he had a yeah, But I think
they like she brought it herself.

Speaker 6 (18:14):
Yeah, I don't think I have a feeling checked in
on her.

Speaker 4 (18:16):
Oh I'm sure not.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
It seemed like it was a pretty quick like yeah,
oh he probably in anticipation that they would have their
allergy in that night, was like immediately like eat it.

Speaker 5 (18:28):
Five dollars is a lot of money for me right now.
To those who are asking why I would still do that,
my family and I discussed that chipping in five dollars
was okay if I get to have a good, warm
meal out of it. My friends also spotted me money
most weeks. This week just happened to be a full
five week for me, if that makes sense. And then
mini update. I talked to Alex and showed him this post.

(18:49):
He supports me. After a longish discussion, I went to
my mom and told her as well what happens, and
she didn't know. She's going to be having a conversation
with Carlo's parents about it all. So I'll probably update
when that happens if people want it, and folks, there
is an update. I'm really excited for our parents to
be like you, Suh.

Speaker 4 (19:06):
I'm so excited.

Speaker 5 (19:07):
You're beating our child food that they can't eat. Yeah,
and making them pay five dollars for it. Ridiculous not ool.
Two weeks later, folks, hey guys, shoot up up. I
realized I was being an a hole to myself and
shouldn't have done that, thankfully for the people in the comments.

(19:28):
I also realized I needed to stand up for myself
and get to the bottom of what actually happened in
communication about my allergies. First, I showed the post to
Alex and we had a long talk about my self
esteem and financial issues, which I rarely talk about due
to insecurity.

Speaker 6 (19:43):
He's a really good guy, good news.

Speaker 5 (19:45):
He's extremely supportive and actually his family offered us their
guest base to.

Speaker 6 (19:49):
Stay in for a while until we get back on
our feet.

Speaker 5 (19:52):
I've got a part time job on weekends through the holidays,
and my dad started a new job about a month ago,
so we're saving now. Second, I showed my parents the post,
and they were disappointed in me for doing that to
myself and not telling me. Understandably, they did what some
suggested and met with Carla's parents to discuss things. This
is all kind of messy, so I'll sum it up

(20:12):
as best I can. So, Carla's dad did have a
list of my allergies before that. My parents gave him
years ago, which he lost when they moved houses. Apparently
Carla never gave him an updated list despite me giving
them to her. She thought I was making them up.
So now Carla's parents are upset with her, and her
dad apologized for his lack of initiative and for scaring me.

(20:34):
I apologize for not standing up for myself. There is
a little bit left to the story. Do you have
any final thoughts?

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Okay, one thing to clarify. They're now living in Carla's basement.

Speaker 5 (20:46):
No no, no, no, So Alex is an Alex.

Speaker 6 (20:49):
Alex.

Speaker 4 (20:50):
I just missed whose basement it was.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
I mean, sounds like you don't need Carla as a friend.

Speaker 5 (20:56):
Truthfully, I would like reach out to all the friends
and be like yeah, or like, you know, one on
one talk with them, say we're not really going to
be my allergies. So that's why, you know.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
It's probably gonna be a situation where Carla's is still
at dinners.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
Maybe maybe you can.

Speaker 5 (21:12):
I do fear that a lot of the friends are
gonna side with Carla because she's rich.

Speaker 4 (21:15):
I do fear that as well. And they were like, oh,
she's got the cool house, been so fun, and we
get the whole thing for dinner.

Speaker 5 (21:21):
Which is crazy because she's they're all eighteen, Like these
aren't children, you know at all, So really ridiculous. But
w Alex, w Alex, my friend group is unfortunately still
kind of fractured since I don't know if I can
trust Carla anymore. Her attitude through this whole thing has
not been nice, and I realize she's never cared for
me as much as some of my other friends. So

(21:43):
for now, weekly meetings are off. The friends who's stuck
by Carla's side during the mess still haven't really talked
to me Alex or the other few friends in our group.
Maybe that's for the best, though, I want to thank
everyone who's helped me. I'm sure this will help me
in future situations. I'm very thankful for outside perspective. And
Opie says that Carla Oh, I didn't want to go

(22:03):
on in the post into what she said to me
after our parents meeting and stuff, because I can't believe
she acted this way. I'm sad because we were friends
for a while, but thankfully I found out her real
feelings about me. I guess, and Opie says, I don't
think she's jealous. I'm pretty sure she thinks she's better
than I am. She could have a crush on Alex,
but I don't want to speculate. To be honest, I
had a crush on him for like ever.

Speaker 6 (22:24):
Lol. Yeah, I knew that. Yeah, we all that.

Speaker 5 (22:28):
You said, It's pretty great, all new it was letting
you stay with him and his family.

Speaker 6 (22:34):
He likes your girl.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (22:36):
Lil Lucky Duck says, I'm not sure if I should
comment this, but you mentioned showing your last post to
some people in your life Alex and parents, which means
they might follow up again see the post. I just
don't want you to accidentally give someone the four one
one on your crush if you're not ready. So true,
Opie says, thanks for the concern, I appreciate it. Alex
already knows, but neither of us is in a place

(22:59):
for relationship right now.

Speaker 6 (23:00):
He said.

Speaker 5 (23:00):
He likes me back, but our friendship comes first, like
you probably keeping together.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
Yeah, but.

Speaker 6 (23:13):
Folks, at the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
My friend reached out after years of no contact for
help with her wedding.

Speaker 5 (23:21):
You know, just get a waltz back.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
So for context, I twenty eight female, had two best
friends for the past ten years. Let's call them Julia
twenty nine female and Leah, also twenty nine female. Julia
and Leah have been friends since childhood, and Julia, who
I met in college, was pretty much the link between
me and Leah, which means that Leah and I didn't

(23:44):
really get along very much if it wasn't for Julia.
By the way, this comes from I hate this part,
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. Like I said before,
I became friends with Julia in college and we clicked immediately.
Our ma was pretty heavy, which made us spend twelve
plus hours a day every day on campus, so we

(24:06):
bonded and soon became best friends and started spending time
together after classes too. This is how I met her
best friend, Leah. College was absolutely the worst for me.
I was exhausted, felt worthless, and thought I would never
succeed in life, while Julia was always acing which low
KI made me feel worse about myself because I thought

(24:26):
something was wrong with me. Julia and Leah graduated before
me and got jobs while I was still figuring out
how to finish my degree. Considering that the VID happened
during my senior year, really well fast forward, I graduated
and was very surprised to receive a call from someone
one week after getting my results asking if I would
like to work. I said yes immediately without even knowing

(24:50):
the details. I uh, just having in mind that I
wouldn't get many opportunities, so I shouldn't be picky. Turns out,
it was a good offer from a big company where
I'm still working until this day, but it was very demanding.
For a couple of months, my only focus was making
sure I kept this job and I didn't take it
for granted. For the first time in many years, I

(25:11):
finally felt like things were going well and that I
wasn't as bad as I thought I was during college.
The problem is I didn't realize that I hadn't spoken
to Julia and Leah in a while. At this point,
they both had quit their jobs and were trying to
do some freelancing. I tried to contact them to ask
how they were and how and how things were going,

(25:31):
yet I was met with very cold, short messages that
kind of caught me off guard. Turns out they got
upset about me disappearing and didn't understand that I had
been very, very busy trying to change my whole life.
Long story short. After some fights and some petty moments,
I stopped talking to Julia and Leah for around three
years now. For the main part, three years later, I

(25:55):
received a random call from Leah asking me if I
was free to grab a coffee. I found it weird,
but I accepted anyway, just to see.

Speaker 4 (26:03):
What she had to say. It was just me and her.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
We had a bit of small talk to break the
ice and gave brief updates to each other about what
was going on in our lives, et cetera. I eventually
asked her why she decided to call me after so long,
and she said she wanted to apologize for turning her
back on me three years before because she got a
job offer recently and Julia acted the same way with her.

Speaker 6 (26:25):
I love that.

Speaker 5 (26:26):
Opie said that, Uh, I was really busy figuring out
my entire life, so I just.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
Cut all my friends off.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Like I will admit, I can totally understand your friends
in respectives.

Speaker 6 (26:37):
There.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yeah, she said she finally understood what I went through
and that it wasn't fair. I felt a bit of relief,
thinking to myself that it's good to finally be understood,
even though it was late. But then she dropped the
bomb and told me she was getting married and wanted
me to be there, considering I was there for her
and her partner when her whole family turned their back

(26:57):
on her because of him. It's a long story, needless
to say, I was immediately excited to receive this news.
I immediately asked her if she needed help and what
the plans were, et cetera.

Speaker 4 (27:08):
While she did need help, a lot of help.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Suddenly I was responsible for a ton of things while
catering to her demands. Dance rehearsals, bridle shower, decorations, her outfits,
et cetera. She had many plans. It was going to
be a big.

Speaker 4 (27:24):
Wedding five days in duration.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
She was not able to make one single thing happened
by herself, so she would end up assigning them to
two people, me and Julia.

Speaker 5 (27:34):
I think it's so funny that she was like, I
finally understand what you were going through. A pee, here
you go is my entire wedding plan.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
I finally understand when you were so overwhelmed from having
so much to do, and now I'm feeling that, so
take it.

Speaker 4 (27:50):
Thanks.

Speaker 5 (27:51):
I just watched twenty seven dresses last night with my dad.
Feels very on.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Julia was her maid of honor and I was one
of her five bridesmaids, but the majority of the responsibilities
were being assigned to just us two. It got very tiring,
very fast, not only because it was a lot, but
also because it was very messy. She had no plans,
no proper ideas. We had to think for her and
execute everything while also dealing with constant changes of plans.

(28:19):
On top of that, we had to deal with her
taking it very much for granted while treating everyone else
like royalty. For example, changing the selected fabric for the
bridesmaid dresses at the last minute that we had already
decided on, just because one of the bridesmaids said she
didn't like it after Julia and I had spent a
lot of time to find it.

Speaker 4 (28:40):
Julia and I organized.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Her whole bridal shower while she just watched, paid for
part of it. Had to pay for our own dresses,
five outfits in total, one for each day of the wedding.
Yet she had the nerve to complain about my bridal
shower gift by telling Julia that she she expected more
from me.

Speaker 6 (28:58):
Wait, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (29:00):
They had to get five different outfits.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
Five Well, so we're still not sure if this is
the Indian wedding or not. Too, because they would have
five different ceremonies they would need to have outfit.

Speaker 5 (29:09):
But oh, wow, that's that's expensive. And then and then
also she's like, and oh, he didn't buy me other things.

Speaker 6 (29:17):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Well, one of the other bridesmaids didn't give her anything.
Yet she didn't say anything about that. Oh oh, I
should mention that the gift I bought was a part
of a list she had prepared in advance.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
It's not like I got her something that she didn't want.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
At this point, Julia and I were spending more time
together unwillingly, but we ended up being united by the
frustration of being tossed.

Speaker 4 (29:43):
Around by Leah. Julia and Leah had.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Already had a lot of fights by this time, and
they were a bit better toward each other, but Julia
was still there for her regardless. I was also trying
my best to be the bigger person and wait until
after the wedding to address these issues, but it was
getting un bearable. I kid you not. It was so
bad that out of the five bridesmaid she started with,

(30:05):
only two remained, one of them being me. Julia gave
up on being her maid of honor. Her family started
turning their back on her because of details I'm not
very aware of, but it was bad.

Speaker 4 (30:18):
Because of all this.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
I felt compelled to just be the bigger person and
stay for her, even though deep down I knew I
wasn't doing it out of love.

Speaker 4 (30:26):
I knew I was being used.

Speaker 6 (30:28):
Dude, this is just like twenty seven dresses.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
That's what we just threw this in there because we
knew you was I'm like, stop, was that a guy?

Speaker 5 (30:35):
Just watch this?

Speaker 2 (30:36):
But for me, what really got me was when I
couldn't attend one of the wedding days which was wasn't
which which wasn't really very crucial, due to being called
from work for an urgent matter, and she had the
nerve to tell me I was doing it because I
wanted attention. She never said this to any of the
other girls that gave up on her, not once. And
I know this because she would always resort to me

(31:00):
to vent about everything that was going wrong. I had
reached my limit and I told her not to mistake
my kindness for care. I was very blunt with her
and told her that she was lucky I hadn't turned
my back on her. She kept spewing a lot of
nonsense and I had to block her. I unblocked her
on the last day of the wedding, which I attended.

(31:20):
That's wild. You've blocked them for the first four days
of your wedding. Fifth day unblocked, you show up.

Speaker 4 (31:27):
That is insane. You're crazy for that, Opena.

Speaker 5 (31:31):
No, that's a pretty wild mood. It's like, I know
I blocked you that old time, but I'm here now.

Speaker 6 (31:39):
Remember me, Remember me, I did all that stuff for
your wedding.

Speaker 4 (31:42):
She had to see how it turned out.

Speaker 5 (31:44):
I had so much stuff I need to come.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
I was the only bridesmaid there, the only friend. None
of her family members were there to help none. It
was me who helped her get ready, running from one
place to another to get things done, making sure she
was pretty and on time. On that day, I had very,
very bad cramps, and I told her, yet she made
me carry heavy box of flowers alone upstairs in a

(32:09):
heavy dress and heels. She didn't think once to ask
one of her male family members to help me. She
just wanted to get it done. Oh and on that day,
she was super late because she had to get another
makeup artist at the last minute. She stood up the
original makeup artist she had. She had an appointment with
for three hours, to the point where the makeup artists

(32:30):
had to call her out publicly on social media. The
decorator was literally running away from her because she had
way too many demands for a very small budget and
last minute arrangements. Anyways, the wedding was tense, but I
managed to act civil. Eventually the other bridesmaids arrived and
I left the scene. She was ready by then, anyway,

(32:53):
I left the wedding day early, as I had to
go to work the next day. I was expecting an
apology when she came to we senses, but all I
got was a text in a group chat where she
thanked everybody for the help and apologized if she did
something wrong.

Speaker 6 (33:06):
That was it.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
She didn't text me personally, she didn't call me, she
didn't come pick me up after work like she used
to do when she needed me, just complete silence.

Speaker 4 (33:17):
I left it like that. It's been a year and.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
I heard that she apologized to the other bridesmaids but
not me, And we have another update.

Speaker 4 (33:25):
But which to thinking.

Speaker 5 (33:26):
I mean, yeah, if someone's totally you know, taking advantage
of all of your work and clearly doesn't really care
much about you and your feelings or your needs, it
just we don't need them in her life. Yes, it's
pretty I mean, it sucks, but you know it's pretty simple. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
After a while, there was a couple of things that
OPI was saying and I was like, yeah, you should have.

Speaker 4 (33:46):
Probably expected that one.

Speaker 6 (33:48):
Yeah, it's like suck. I came.

Speaker 5 (33:50):
I blocked her for four days and then came on
the last day no one was there, and then she
expected me to do a bunch of work, like, yeah,
she like, the only thing I'll give her is that
she had no one there to do anything.

Speaker 6 (34:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
And on the other hand, too, like, eventually, I think
you get into that mode of like blaming the person
so much like when she was like, I have to
carry this heavy box upstairs. She didn't ask a mail
to do it. You could ask someone to do it.
You could ask someone so but we got another updates.
Julia and I are still united by the long lasting frustration,

(34:23):
and we managed to regain some of our lost friendship.
Julia says I need to stop being naive and that
I should have sensed something was wrong when Leah came
to me only because her wedding was near. Part of
me thinks she's right, but I can't say I regret
it from what I hear from others up until this day.
Some of her family members don't talk to her anymore either.

Speaker 4 (34:44):
Wow, that's the end.

Speaker 5 (34:46):
Dang man, Hey John Ogi host here, We're gonna get
back to this episode, but a quick three minute break
of ads from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
I stood up for myself to my mother in law,
and it made everyone.

Speaker 6 (34:57):
Upset, stand up for what you believe.

Speaker 7 (35:00):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
This is also from our own subreddit. Ooh, so hopefully
you're listening to us right now. I twenty five female,
have been with my significant other twenty eight mail for
three years. We had our son one year ago. Ever
since I had my son, my mother in law has
been so overbearing and over opinionated, and my significant other
will not say anything to her.

Speaker 7 (35:22):
Wow yay.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
By the way, this comes from user made a Mommy,
to the r slash okay storytime summ reddit, just like
one of our own. When my son was smaller, she
would tell us we aren't holding him correctly and that
I shouldn't trust what his Paudoudrician is telling me because
she had had two kids and she knows better.

Speaker 5 (35:42):
Mm.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
She criticized me for getting my son vaccinated and always
makes comments about things I'm doing or not doing. We
only see her maybe twice a month, so I usually
just bite my tongue and tell her I got this
and walk away. But this has been happening for a
year now, and I've expressed countless times to my sickni
and other how this makes me feel like she thinks
were incompetent and that I'm constantly on edge around her

(36:05):
because I know she will say something to me at
some point. Yet he still hasn't had a conversation with
her about it. Yes, I could have said something to myself,
but I feel like he should be the one addressing
her because that is his mother. So yesterday, my mother
in law came over. My son was napping and she
was making food for my significant other, so I decided
I would go get my nails done before I left.

Speaker 7 (36:27):
She brought up my school.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
I'm getting my CNA certification and I'm going back to
be an RN. She started to go on about how
with the degree I'm going for, I would still be
under a nurse, and that was it for me. I
just said, okay, I'm gonna go now. I stood up
and went to get my shoes to go. My significant
other stop me to tell me how incredibly rude I
was being and that it was unacceptable.

Speaker 7 (36:50):
I think we got a mommy's boy.

Speaker 6 (36:52):
I think it's very possible.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
Yeah. I told him I was tired of her criticizing
me and that I can't take it anymore, so I'm
leaving the situation, he wouldn't stop telling me how I
was wrong. This is where I went wrong, I think.
I went back inside and asked her if I was
being rude when I decided to leave. She said no,
but she could tell that I was upset with something
she had said and that I always do that to

(37:14):
her and I need to learn to control myself and
something about that being how parents are.

Speaker 7 (37:18):
My jaw dropped. I told her that.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
Ever since I had my son, she's been overbearing and
constantly criticizing me, and she lost it, said I was
being disrespectful, and she stormed out and left.

Speaker 7 (37:30):
This is what really hurt me.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
Instead of being by my side significant other and trying
to step up to tell his mom that she has
been this way and we just need to tell her
to stop her opinions, my significant other screams at me
about how he was going to handle it and that
I made things so much worse.

Speaker 7 (37:46):
I've never seen him that way, and it really broke me.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
I told him it hurt me that he could never
stand up to her for us, and that he should
never treat me that way no matter what.

Speaker 7 (37:56):
Eventually, he talked.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
His mom and he explained to her that she's been
crossing boundary and being too much with her opinions. The
fact that we had to get to this point for
a significant other to actually be like, honey, you're in
the wrong, and he's like, Mom, you're in the wrong. Right,
wet noodle spine. I'm sorry, there's a noodle spine here.

Speaker 7 (38:14):
I get it.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
It's your mom mmm. And mothers know best, but not
in this. Yeah, come on.

Speaker 6 (38:18):
Yeah, But like it's like when you get to a
certain age though, you start making some decisions for yourself
and have different opinions from your mom.

Speaker 7 (38:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
No, I agree, And this is where Opie was in
the right where Hey, you should have came in a
long time ago to tell her to stop doing that.

Speaker 6 (38:32):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
She pulled the whole. Well, if I'm too much, then
I just won't be involved anymore. Ah, she's the victim now,
ah man. And that she's not coming to my son's
birthday party on Saturday. This obviously upset us because she
is a good grandma and my son deserves that in
his life. But I do not deserve the disrespect as
a parent. So am I the ale for saying something?

(38:56):
And we have a side note. I texted her a
very lengthy apology later in the day, saying I'm sorry
for how things happen and stated the reasons why it
boiled up to this and that we still really want
her in our son's life, but she needs to respect
us as parents. All right, Angie, Kay, where are we at?

Speaker 6 (39:11):
We're making some progress progress in the terms of like
standing up to her.

Speaker 5 (39:17):
I don't know if we've made progress with her reaction yet.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
We'll probably find out we do have an update, But
I mean, the cat's out of the bag now. Everything's
been thrown on the table in the probably the worst
way possible because everything escalated and blew up rather than
having a civil conversation. And I think that's what happens
when this happened to Ope, and this happens all the time,
is people just like, let it the cup fill until
it overflows and then it's just not a good It's

(39:42):
an ugly mess exactly. Yeah. Now I want to see
how the significant other plays in. You know, their role.
Is he going to be, you know, a good partner,
a good son? Who is he going to take side with?
I don't this was the appropriate thing to do is
text her and be like Hey.

Speaker 6 (39:57):
Yeah, it's good that something was said because it has
needed to be said for a long time.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
Now, Oh yes, do we think, Angie, this is going
to resonate? Well, do you think mother in law is
going to take this as like, oh, okay, let's patch this,
let's put a band aid over the booboo.

Speaker 6 (40:14):
We're gonna be definitely not.

Speaker 3 (40:17):
Well, let's find out we have an update. A lot
of you have very strong opinions about him, which I've
definitely taken into consideration. I will not make excuses for anyone,
but he obviously has been conditioned to this behavior his
whole life. I don't plan to leave my significant other,
but I would be lying if I said I hadn't
consider it. Okay, I stand by my boundaries, and the
last conversation I had, I had confidently said that he

(40:40):
stands by the same boundaries and really understands where the
problem lies. Finally, okay, now back to the update. After
the initial blow up, my significant other did not have
my back and was texting mother in law pictures of
my son immediately after she left, just sweeping the situation
under the rug and acting as if nothing happened. The
worst thing to do great this is so nice. He

(41:02):
took a side and it was Mama's side.

Speaker 6 (41:04):
Oh but like UK is supposed to be partners in
this co parenting thing.

Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yeah, you saw everything while still not comforting me or
helping me through the situation.

Speaker 7 (41:15):
We argued all night and.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
Multiple times over the next couple of days, and finally
came to the conclusion that I didn't deserve any of that,
and that he was going to lay down boundaries with
his mother and make sure she apologizes to me before
I see her again.

Speaker 7 (41:30):
He is the bridge. So obviously, mother in law.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
Shows up to my son's birthday party at our home
after saying she wasn't going to because she wasn't getting
her way. She walks in my kitchen and acts as
if I'm not even there. I immediately get my significant
other and tell him he needs to tell her to
apologize to me if she plans to stay. The apology
went like this, are you ready, Angie?

Speaker 6 (41:52):
I'm so ready, Kean, So are you gonna be ok
and I'll be the mother.

Speaker 7 (41:55):
You'll be mother in law? Okay you start off?

Speaker 6 (41:57):
Oh yeah, okay, my son wants me to apologize.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
I'll stop you right there. Do you want to apologize.

Speaker 6 (42:04):
What did I even say?

Speaker 3 (42:05):
Do you really feel like nothing you've said or done
is wrong?

Speaker 6 (42:09):
I'm sorry for what I said.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
I'll take that for today and we can all enjoy
my son's birthday party in peace. But we need to
have a conversation in a few days about boundaries.

Speaker 6 (42:19):
Come on, guys, that's not a conversation we need to
have now. Maybe in a couple of years.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
No, we will have a conversation in a couple of
days about boundaries.

Speaker 7 (42:29):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
The party went fine and she didn't really say or
do anything. Thank goodness, too many witnesses. I guess clearly
she has an issue with taking accountability and having healthy conversations.
Maybe she should watch Okay Storytime good advice for anyone.
And it's trickled into my significant other's life. She tried
to plan to come to our house to get my
significant other to work on her car a couple days later,

(42:50):
and I kind of blew up because they had planned
to do this while I was going to be at
my class that day. She's avoiding you, clearly, meaning she
would be watching my son while he worked on her
Normally that would have been okay, but I will not
let them keep sweeping things under the rug and act
like she can come around and do whatever she pleases. Yeah,
I guess what, that's your boundary. Yeah, not your significant

(43:10):
other's boundary. They don't care about your boundaries right now.
Until clear boundaries are set and she can give us
some respect.

Speaker 7 (43:17):
I am not okay with her being around me or
my son.

Speaker 3 (43:21):
We argued a bit and finally came to an agreement
that before she is allowed to come around our home
or my son again, we will be sitting her down
and laying out clear boundaries, and my significant other is
going to tell her that she cannot treat me the
way she has. I feel like it's like the boy
you cried wolf kind of thing. You've told them so
many times and he's still doing that half asked job

(43:42):
of it.

Speaker 6 (43:43):
Yeah, I'm kind of scared that, Like, even if Opie
sits the mother in law and her husband down like
at the same time, Like, it's not just gonna be
her talking to the mother in law setting boundaries. She's
gonna have to.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
Be like right, like right, and he's gonna be He's
gonna be like, yeah, mom, you want pictures of the sun.

Speaker 6 (44:01):
Right. Like I feel like it's not going to be
as successful as she wants it to be.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
Yeah, at this point, do we just take out the
significant other aka mother in law son and you just
have a direct conversation with the mother in law?

Speaker 6 (44:14):
Well, I think this is probably a good way to go,
because he's clearly not getting it, Like he's not accepting
Ope's boundaries.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
Yeah, the fact that you've said it countless times or
these are my boundaries yea, and please respect them. And
he said, yeah, no exactly.

Speaker 6 (44:27):
So I think that it would be good for them
to have a conversation in person, like not just with
the mom.

Speaker 7 (44:32):
Yeah, and like with the.

Speaker 6 (44:33):
Husband as well.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
Yeah, let's find out his perspective again. Opie's significant other
was that he felt like I was trying to cut
her out of our lives, which is never my intention.
I just don't want to constantly be on edge and
have someone micromanaging my parenting. Again, he's not understanding you, he's.

Speaker 6 (44:49):
Not listening exactly.

Speaker 3 (44:51):
She just needs to be a grandma, not a third parent,
and if she has an issue with it, my son
and I will not come around and she won't be
allowed at our home. There's a little bit left to
this store I feel like we've said our piece. Yeah,
I know this is one of our family members, our
community members.

Speaker 6 (45:05):
Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that.

Speaker 7 (45:07):
Op.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
I feel like we've had stories like this. Your significant
other is not respecting you. Your mother in law is
not respecting you. Clearly someone hears a mama's boy, and
you deserve the respect you want. You are a parent.
And again it's one of those things where you kind
of learn through it. You can have some tips and
tricks from mother in law.

Speaker 6 (45:26):
Yeah, because honestly, like what you're asking for is not
that much.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
No, it's it's just saying, hey, this is my child. Yeah,
I'm gonna do what I want to do with my child.

Speaker 6 (45:34):
Yeah. I wonder if, like if she can come at
a conversation with a little bit of like sympathy, even
if she doesn't feel so strongly, like she doesn't sympathize
too much with the significant other, Like if she can
come to the significant other and be like, yo, how
do you actually feel about this? And I mean it
seems like she has.

Speaker 7 (45:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (45:51):
I wonder how these conversations go and if it's coming
like very strongly, like no, this needs to happen, Like
you know what I mean like kind of setting boundaries
super strong like that. I wonder if you can come
from like a softer spot and be like, it's just
these little comments that bother me time time again and
it's really making me anxious.

Speaker 3 (46:07):
Yeah, let's see if we have anything else in the story.
This has taken a lot out of me emotionally, and honestly,
I was at a breaking point. I wasn't sure if
my relationship was going to survive this. But I truly
feel like my significant other will stick beside me and
we can fix these issues together, I hope. So It's
taken a lot of my over explaining things and feel
like a psycho to get through to him, which is

(46:28):
exhausting and not fair to me, but I want things
to work for everyone, and I feel it's worth it.
I do not have a lot of faith in my
mother in law receiving these boundaries greatly, but that's beyond
my control and she will be the one missing out
if not. I may or may not have another update
after the conversation has had but for now, this is
where I'm at and I can finally breathe a little
bit better. We had not scheduled a data sit down

(46:48):
but it will be happening very soon.

Speaker 7 (46:51):
Interesting dun dun, dull. But that is the end of
that story.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three bits of ads from ours that keep
the show alive.

Speaker 6 (47:01):
My mother in law lied about something and it got
my husband evicted.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
Liar liar, pants on fire.

Speaker 6 (47:09):
Two weeks ago, at two weeks postpartum, I finally confronted
my mother in law about her self absorbed person behavior,
and she still refuses to leave her world of delusion.
I twenty four female, am happily married to my wonderful
husband twenty three male, who I have been with since
our teenage years. Myself and his parents got along famously,
even for some years, being closer than they were with

(47:31):
my husband and his brother. Nice. By the way, this
comes from A Street Sandwich eighty two to oh two,
to the r slash Okay storytime at separread it.

Speaker 5 (47:40):
So.

Speaker 6 (47:40):
When husband and I first ever got together, he mentioned
having issues with independence in his household, with examples being
him being placed in excessive extracurricular activities that he had
no interest in from a very young age. Not being
given keys to the home until becoming an adult, forcing
him to work his entire life around his parents' motives,
not having an open line of communication with his parents

(48:03):
where they made authoritarian decisions about their household and family
and him with no explanation or consideration, and not being
able to decide how his day went as an adult,
or things like what foods he was going to eat?
Oh wow, so they give him no independence at all? Yikes.
I was raised to be the complete opposite and was

(48:24):
living by myself from the age of seventeen. I encouraged
him to start taking on responsibilities in his home and
daily life to prove himself worthy of independence, starting from
doing small things like cooking his own meals, doing his
own laundry, and moving out of the room that he
shared with his brother into his own room that I
eventually helped him decorate with his own personal style to

(48:44):
make it feel more like his, which he absolutely loved.
I knew it was a red flag when his mother
was pissed that he started to do his own laundry
and came up with excuses to stop him or sabotage him,
even going as far as to stop talking to him.
For several days, and he was literally just eighteen just
for doing his own laundry, as though it was some

(49:05):
sort of personal attack. But I bit my tongue and
wanted to see how it played out. Years flew by,
and in twenty twenty two, my husband then boyfriend, and
I decided to move in together to the flat that
I was living in where I rented a room off
of his dad and his dad owned the property. We
had a discussion with his parents and explained that we
would want to rent the whole flat in the hopes

(49:25):
that we would get married after that and start our family,
and it was perfect because it was just a four
minute walk from their family home, so we could all
stay close to each other. We also agreed that we
would spend our own money referbing the flat and fully
fitting a new bathroom, as it was in need of
a facelift, and ultimately it added value to the property
that his father would benefit from. We even added that

(49:47):
we would more than likely buy the flat off of
his father later down the line, so it would benefit
us too. Side note, my father would never ever make
me buy a property from him, and would just gifted
to me just to put me and my family at
the best place in life possible, but I guess our
families are different.

Speaker 5 (50:02):
Anyway.

Speaker 6 (50:03):
We had an agreement with his parents and they were
cool with it, so we started to work in the
flat and actually stripped the bathroom ourselves, did some of
the plumbing ourselves, and then got a contractor to fit
the new bathroom. Issues genuine not fabricated by the contractor
were found along the way, such as insufficient pipework, outdated insulation,
et cetera. And the works for the bathroom, as well

(50:25):
as the materials for the referb and painting of the flat,
which we did ourselves too. It all came to just
shy of fourteen thousand pounds. This was fine with us,
as this was meant to be our first family home
and we used our savings as planned. Keep in mind
we are twenty one years old at this time, so
fourteen k might not be a lot to some, but
to us it was our life savings from our entry

(50:47):
level jobs at the time, so it was a huge deal. Haha.
Silly us looking back, but we have learned.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
Anyway.

Speaker 6 (50:54):
I must backtrack here to get to the crux of
this story. During the construction of the bathroom, My father
in law had to go up broad for a family
matter and asked us to stay in his house to
look after my mother in law as she does not
do well on her own, understandable as their house was
robbed in the past.

Speaker 7 (51:09):
Oh wow, oh boy.

Speaker 6 (51:11):
We agreed to stay as our relationship with her was
still great at this time, and the hot water in
the flow was on and off intermittently due to the
ongoing works, so it was a win win. During our
stay at their house, I heard my mother in law
one night have an argument with my father in law
over the phone and she was left in a mood.
She then woke up the next morning I could hear
because my husband's room was right next to hers at

(51:32):
about five am. It's normal for her, she's an early bird,
and she just sat in silence, which is not normal.
My husband then came back from the gym about six
fifteen and jumped into the shower to get ready for
work like absolutely clockwork, because he's a machine and does
this every single day, so his mom knew that this
would happen. Whilst he was showering, she banged on the

(51:53):
bathroom door and demanded to use the toilet. He then
replied saying he would be just five minutes as he
was just finishing up, and she replied, the world doesn't
revolve around you, and you're so selfish and disrespectful, which
is normal for her when she's in a bad mood tbh.
She then stormed back to her room. My husband shrugged
it off and then ran back to our room as

(52:15):
he forgot his underwear, And as he went to go
back to the bathroom to finish off getting ready for work,
his mom ran in front of him and locked the door,
causing a scene and making him late for work on purpose.
There was an epping toilet downstairs and she could have
gone before he came home, And whilst he was home
she was taking out her marital problems on him because

(52:36):
if she's miserable, everyone has to be miserable.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
Oh my gosh, exhausting.

Speaker 6 (52:41):
It's like dealing with a literal child.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Yeah. I say, if there was another bathroom, just go.
If you gotta go, you gotta go.

Speaker 6 (52:48):
But yeah, because if you really had to go that bad,
you would have found a different bathroom. You've got more options.

Speaker 7 (52:53):
Yeah, so weird, it's so weird.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
Why would you mom?

Speaker 7 (52:57):
Don't do that I like that toilet better.

Speaker 6 (53:00):
Yeah, I just really liked the toy that you were using.

Speaker 3 (53:02):
That's my porcelain throne exactly.

Speaker 6 (53:04):
The world doesn't revolve around you, but it does around me.
So anyway, that day, Hoby left for work and didn't
say goodbye to her. Why would he? I stayed in
his room that entire day because I did not want
to be in the line of fire, and I come
from a childhood of physical and get anxious around shouting.
Makes sense. The next day came and she was still

(53:26):
visibly pissed, and my husband left for work and didn't
say good morning to her before he left. I did
the exact same, because in my eyes, if someone is pissed,
you give them space. When we got back to the
house that day, she was still in a bad mood
and was slamming copboards, throwing my husband's clothes down the stairs,
and throwing his shoes down the hallway.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
What little toxic baby.

Speaker 6 (53:47):
Baby tantrum. That's what's happening, baby tantrum.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
It's the I need the attention, like something wrong. No
slams doors.

Speaker 6 (53:55):
Oh my gosh. One more day went by and the
exact same thing happened. She texted me that day, saying
things like I expected more loyalty from you. I opened
my home to you, and you have disrespected me. I
have to ask you to leave my home as you
are no longer welcome.

Speaker 4 (54:10):
What did she do?

Speaker 6 (54:11):
This is mad because the father in law was getting
mad at the mother in law.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
Yes's definitely something like that. But it's definitely one of
those things where if mother in law does not get
her way in any shape, way or form. Yeah, everything
is just goes toxic. Gosh, everything goes red.

Speaker 6 (54:28):
Oh, my gosh. I was surprised and sent her a
reply apologizing for coming across that way and explained my
anxiety and said that I respect her decision and would
remove my belongings upon my return in a few days,
even thanking her for the opportunity to stay in their home.
You are so nice, opie. That day, I was already
said to stay at my dad's house for a few
days to get away from my mother in law's energy

(54:50):
and to just spend time with my dad. She then said,
you should have just explained this to me, and please
ignore what I said. Can we just move forward and
forget what I said? Girl? No? Oh, because you said
such a crazy thing. You can't just move forward from that.

Speaker 7 (55:04):
Again, they don't take any accountability.

Speaker 6 (55:06):
Yeah, it's so unpredictable, I replied, saying of course, and
that I have no issue at all. So I'm saying
at my dad's house for the next two days as
pre arranged, and my husband ends up joining me because
he does not want to be in the house with
his mom and she's still mad at him for not
saying good morning. Out of the blue, my husband receives
a text from his dad, who is abroad, saying that

(55:28):
he has to apologize to his mother show respect by
saying good morning, otherwise he has to move out of
their family home. My husband is on his last straw
by this point, both with his mom and with the
disappointment in his father's inability to even ask for his
side of the story. He has spent his whole life
apologizing to his mother for things that he hasn't even done,
even apologizing for things that his father has done, like

(55:50):
breaking a vase when his dad has made him take
the blame to avoid being bullied by his wife. Wow's
you're gonna make your kid be bullied?

Speaker 3 (55:57):
Then I feel bad for a peace partner.

Speaker 7 (56:00):
Real definitely.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Yeah, the traumatized childhood.

Speaker 6 (56:04):
Yeah, holy crap. So he decided to not apologize and
try to explain his perspective to his dad and said
that he would move out of their house out of
respect for their rules for lack of a better term,
when it's really just blackmail from a flying monkey doing
his mother's bidding. So we go back to their house
after our stay of my dad's and remove my stuff

(56:24):
and just enough clothes for my husband for the next
couple of weeks until the flat was done and he
could fullly move his things out of their house and
into our new would be home. His dad lands back
in the country the next day, and Hubby receives a
new text from his dad saying that unless he apologizes
to his mom, he is not permitted to live in
that flat. Why aren't they moving anyway?

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Why?

Speaker 5 (56:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Wait?

Speaker 7 (56:46):
What?

Speaker 5 (56:46):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (56:47):
Oh wait? Yeah, because the flat that Opie and her
partner are living in was least from the dad. Yeah.
Oh god, okay, yeah, they paid for it though too,
so yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:59):
No, it's one of those things like they'll hold anything
over your head, like even just like the smallest thing
for Opie's husband, they'll hold over his head. Yeah, and
just to try to get just to have like a
little leash on him would exactly the worse.

Speaker 6 (57:12):
Oh my gosh. We were absolutely shocked, mortified. Even we
knew regardless we would be fine, as we are quite
the resilient pair, but shocked at how this escalated and
how his dad could go back on his agreement to
let us rent the flat, knowing that we spent our
savings on trying to build a life for ourselves. So
days go by, my husband trying to have a conversation

(57:34):
with his parents, both via text and in person. In person,
they didn't look him in the eye and actually turned
their backs towards him and refused to look at him
unless he said good morning to his mother. He still
said it to his dad, but his dad was a
flying monkey and was being used as a pawn, so
he didn't turn around because mother in law wasn't greeted
with a good morning. So we were left with the

(57:55):
decision Hubby to cave and say good morning, apologize, and
live the rest of his life under their thumb, never
feeling like we would be safe living in a flat
that his dad owned, knowing that we could be punted
out on a whim. We could say goodbye to the
flat and the possibility of our family home and have
our integrity and peace of mind renting from someone we
didn't know through an agency. We chose opten.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
Too, thank goodness, sorry, thank you goodness.

Speaker 6 (58:20):
Hoping that things would settle over time with his parents
and that they could have a better relationship without the
power dynamic over his head, a relationship based on mutual respect.
How silly of us, so we moved out aka we're
homeless for a month as we didn't have enough money
for a deposit for a new flat and first month's
rent sofa served until the next paycheck, when we immediately

(58:42):
moved into a new apartment that we could barely afford,
but it was one of the only ones available at
the time. During this process, I sent his father an
email confirming that he breached our agreement and provided a
detailed breakdown of expenditure on the flat with receipts, and
asked for either a full reimbursement, a partial reimbursement, or
a payment plan that suited him, or an opportunity to

(59:03):
discuss the matter and come to a solution that suited us,
both to prevent putting him under unnecessary financial strain. His
dad replied, saying he has no intention of paying anything
as he didn't ask us to spend any money. I replied,
explaining that we only spent money on the premise of
our agreement to move in. It was a whole load
of back and forth. My background is in the property industry,

(59:25):
by the way, and I had a legal card up
my sleeve, as my father in law breached several health
and safety laws whilst renting out that flat and I
knew I could have easily taken him to court, and
one using an RRO, which is a rent repayment order
in the UK, which means that I could receive every
penny of rent that I paid for the duration I

(59:46):
lived there, and so could my housemates. This amount would
have come to thirty two thousand pounds, which is over
double the amount that we spent on the flat. Wow.

Speaker 7 (59:56):
I would have done it.

Speaker 3 (59:56):
Wow, I would have done it, especially since why would
have given the warning like, hey, yeah, we have some
legal things and I'm in the industry. If you don't
follow this, I'm just gonna do it.

Speaker 6 (01:00:06):
Cru dude, Yeah, yeah, I don't get why it's double
the amount that we spent on the flat. I thought
it said like, we receive every penny of rent that
I paid, but then it's double. But maybe I don't know.

Speaker 7 (01:00:18):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:00:19):
We'll move on. Yeah, Hobby and I lamented over this,
but after weeks of thinking, we decided to let the
money go and not pursue legal action.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Oh why to charge.

Speaker 6 (01:00:28):
The lesson to life experience and lay our heads down
at night knowing that we have been far better humans
than his parents in this situation. To this day, they
don't even know the favor we did them anyway. Over
the next couple of months, it was hard man. It
was Hubby's first time living outside of his childhood home,
paying bills, splitting chores with the significant other, and just

(01:00:49):
generally feeling the weight of real life responsibility as an adult.
We moved to an area of London completely foreign to him,
where there were barely any people who looked like him
and far from his friends, Stripped of his culture, He's
also now lost his perception of his great parents, and
his brother, who was his best friend, hasn't spoken to him.
Because of everything. He still lives in the family home. Mentally,

(01:01:11):
I was okay, as I've been through things in the
past growing up, and I've lived alone for a long time,
so I had fortitude in that regard. But husband ticket
hard and we struggled in our relationship and honestly very
nearly separated because of the financial stress. But it made
us so much stronger. And now fast forward to twenty
twenty five, we are happily married and have a newborn

(01:01:32):
and are so immensely happy in love, grateful and appreciative
of our strength and support for one another. Truly best
friends and our biggest allies in life.

Speaker 7 (01:01:42):
Yeah, yeah, so exciting.

Speaker 6 (01:01:45):
Between us moving out in twenty twenty two to today.
It went from his parents messaging him in the early
days saying that their house will always be his home
and sending messages like happy Sunday, how about your day.
I just had surgery. You need to move on. I
don't even remember what happened as I was on medication
back then, et cetera, et cetera. He started out so
strong with those to my husband blocking them because he

(01:02:07):
became infuriated by the lack of apology for what they
put him through and how they acted so carelessly and
were trying to talk to him as though nothing happened
to his mom trying to send him money whilst being
blocked with no context. He sent the money back immediately
and told his dad, I'm sending this back because I
don't know what it's for, alluding to the fact that

(01:02:27):
if it's not an apology or an acknowledgment of wrongdoing,
he doesn't want it because it's just a payoff. It
was five hundred pounds, which I'm sorry is something laughable
in the face of fourteen k In late twenty twenty four,
he started to rebuild a relationship with his dad, with
the idea that his mother was a sole issue so
he could tolerate his dad. They slowly started to speak
about what transpired, and Hovey explained that he was disappointed

(01:02:50):
in his father as a man and last some respect
for him due to how poorly he managed the situation,
and reminded him that despite him being his wife's husband,
he's also his father and owes it to his children
to be impartial. We believe the mother has emotional blackmail
against the father as they had issues in the past,
but I digress. Have a backbone. Hubby asked his dad

(01:03:11):
if he knew what happened the day of the bathroom incident,
and his dad said, your mom told me that she
was in the bathroom and that she left for a moment,
and you ran in and when she tried to get
back in, you slammed the door in her face. Ah
what that is not at all what happened.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
She'd have been asked way way earlier. But yeah, whatever,
it long ago.

Speaker 6 (01:03:31):
When I tell you, our jaws fink dropped to the
ground when we heard his dad say this over the phone.
Hubby told his dad what actually happened and convinced his
dad to question his mom about the story. Hubby followed
up next week and asked his dad how it went.
His dad told him that after he questioned his mom,
his mom didn't speak to him for three whole days,
but that you should still show your mom respect or

(01:03:54):
your mom's your mom. You know what she's like. The
good alweighs the bad. We came to the conclusion that
his dad was just a victim turned enabler, telling himself
the same stuff to help himself feel better. Anyway, howby
you went to their family home a week later to
hold a family meeting in the hopes that they could
move forward as a family. On a better note, he
asked them not to speak at first, and to listen

(01:04:15):
to him say the story from start to finish of
what happened on the day of the incident, all the
way to the aftermath, including the fact that him, his dad,
and his brother now knew that his mother lied and
manipulated everyone to make herself seem like the victim. When
my husband looked her in the eyes and asked her
why she lied, she sat there in silence, huffing and puffing,

(01:04:37):
visibly outraged at the idea that her son, who should
owe the world moon and the stars, would dare confront her,
especially in front of others. Classic self absorbed person. The
outcome of that meeting was nothing. They still didn't apologize
to my husband, and his mother still didn't take accountability
for her actions. He left the meeting saying, I need

(01:04:58):
you to think about what kind of reallyationship you want
with me and my wife and my soon to be
born son, and what you need to do to achieve that.
But you need to change your behavior to get what
you want. Think about it and let me know. Now
we get to early twenty twenty five, where I'm about
six months pregnant, and my husband calls his dad to
follow up on what was decided on what relationship they
wanted with him. His dad said that he of course

(01:05:21):
wants things to go back as the way they were,
and my husband reiterated that they will never be the same,
but whether it's worse or gets better is down to
whether they can change the behavior and take ownership. He
reminded his dad that we rode off the fourteen K
and only asked for an apology for the hurt and
damage that they caused and the years that they send
him back. His dad very callously stated something I personally

(01:05:42):
knew he felt deep down all these years, something I
think my husband knew his dad fell too, but didn't
want to accept. His dad said, I've got nothing to
feel sorry for.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
Yikes.

Speaker 5 (01:05:53):
Boom.

Speaker 6 (01:05:53):
My husband's eyes a glaze over in what seemed like
both disbelief and acceptance, In almost relief and closure, his
dad continued in the background of our calm, almost berating
his son, saying things like I'd never be in your
position because I planned financially. I have no words. Fast
forward to five weeks ago where I gave birth, which
they knew because their other sons still lives at their

(01:06:14):
house and talks to us. The mother also follows me
on Instagram, which I actually didn't know until last week
and saw my stories of my newborn. Hubby's brother and
my overly goodwill parents encouraged Hubby and me to let
his parents know personally about our new arrival, after which
his parents congratulated him and eventually asked to meet our son.
There is a little bit more to the story, but ah,

(01:06:35):
what a disappointing story.

Speaker 3 (01:06:36):
So yes, very disappointing, but also uplifting for Op's significant other,
He's learned, I guess they both have, but especially him,
he's learned the hard way. He flew from the nest
and spread his wings and actually experienced life. The you know,
started off negatively stressful, almost broke up. But you have

(01:06:58):
to have the lows to really enjoy the highs. So
he's enjoying life. He has a family. Now you hope
he has a family. It's crazy, and I guess his
family sucks. Yeah, that's strenuous exactly.

Speaker 6 (01:07:12):
Yeah, that acceptance, I mean, like she said, like is
a bit of a relief in a way. It sucks,
but it is the reality that you got going.

Speaker 3 (01:07:19):
On, and I can see that he's trying to give
them chance and chance and chance over and over again. Yeah,
but it's not happening. It's not working, especially for the
mother in law. She's a real piece of work.

Speaker 7 (01:07:31):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (01:07:31):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, there is a little bit more. His
mom also DMed me separately, saying how much she loved
us and was so happy and asked me not to
block her. I replied with a tough love response, calling
out her behavior of manipulation, deceit, and lies, saying that
I refuse to have a relationship with her or her
husband until my husband receives a well overdue apology, and

(01:07:52):
said that I didn't want to have to be firm,
but years of her family being so scared of her
and walking on eggshells didn't get them anywhere. To say
it felt fantastic. Last week, she employed another flying monkey
who messaged my husband congratulating him on his new baby,
saying how lucky he is to have such amazing parents
to guide and support him. Palomeoh, it's getting desperate. All

(01:08:15):
they have to do is apologize. Oh my gosh, Wait,
I don't understand that it's just another person.

Speaker 3 (01:08:21):
It's another person. Yeah, so I guess the parents maybe
got like a cousin or like a friend.

Speaker 6 (01:08:25):
Yeah, oh, like like to try to get info about
the new baby.

Speaker 3 (01:08:29):
Trying to get info or like you know, kind of
put the salt on the wound of like, oh, your
parents must have raised you so well. Oh.

Speaker 6 (01:08:37):
I was thinking that they were saying, like, I'm so
happy that your new son has great parents.

Speaker 3 (01:08:42):
No, oh my god, it's the mother in law.

Speaker 6 (01:08:46):
It's like great. Actually, I don't think you'd be saying
that after you found out what they do to me.

Speaker 7 (01:08:51):
Thank you.

Speaker 6 (01:08:53):
Yeah, oh my gosh. But that's the best story.

Speaker 7 (01:08:55):
That's it.

Speaker 6 (01:08:56):
That sucks, man,

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