December 18, 2025 • 54 mins
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00:13 r/BestofRedditorUpdates - [7] AITAH for saying I don't care about my sister's rejection sensitive dysphoria, and will be having my wedding the way I want it?
12:24 r/AITAH - AITA for telling my biological dad that i don’t see him as my father?
27:10r/okstorytime - AITA for telling my autistic sister she’s an adult and to act like it?
41:19 r/okstorytime - AITA for "kidnapping" my sister's dog because I thought she had joined a cult?
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
This is John, the og story Time podcast host.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.
But before that we get a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like
a little house.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Oh you I rejected. My sister, who's sensitive to.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Rejection, really doesn't like it.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I mail thirty, am newly engaged. Congrats My fiance female
thirty and I have been together for two years and
we both feel ready for the next step. We don't
want a big wedding. We both come from huge families
and we don't want to deal with the costs and
the headache of planning a huge event. By the way,
this comes from Throwaway am I the a hole one
oh one two five two five And if you want
(00:40):
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay Storytime subpured at. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon,
and we're here to give good advice. Goofley. But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
so let us know what you would do in the
comment and OPI sas. Our plan is to go to
city Hall and sign the required papers. We would invite
my parents, my sister, my brother in law, my fia say,
his father, sister, brother in law, and brother, as well
(01:03):
as two of my friends since they were the ones
who set me and my fiance up when we were
in the Armed Forces. After city hall, we would all
go out for dinner. Sounds pretty cool, pretty chill dash,
She like, I got married and then we went out
for burgers. We don't want any other wedding stuff or
any kind of reception. When my older sister got married
three years ago, I ended up being thankful I was
(01:24):
stationed in another country and wasn't at home. I was
in the Air Force at the time. She had a huge,
expensive wedding and then took an expensive trip to the
United States for her honeymoon. This is normal in our family,
but watching the wedding on a live stream was enough
for me.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I don't need think we need to go and judge
her choiceod like.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I didn't hear anything about her being a nightmare to
deal with it. She had a big wedding, all chose to.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Have a small one.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
That's fine, everything's fine. Why did you I don't know.
I don't love that, you said, Oh thank god, I
missed her wedding. Your sisters, see where that go. I
was getting a headache when I was hearing about the
planning second hand. But you didn't have to plan it
and shut.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
It off second hand. It wasn't even her complaining.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
My fiance and I don't want that stress. Okay, that's fine,
and you don't have to have it.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
Don't have to have it.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
I thought my family would have a problem with us
not having a big wedding or only inviting my parents, sister,
and brother in law, but my sister got upset because
she wanted to be my fiances made of honor. We
aren't even having a maid of honor or best man
or wedding party at all. Even if we were, my
fiance would want her own sister to be made of honor,
not my sister. That is pretty silly. Yeah, that's pretty crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
That's just sit the goofy move.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
Yeah right there.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
My sister also thought she would get a special role
in the wedding as sister of the groom, which isn't
a thing as far as I know, nor is it
something that I've ever heard of. But maybe she, you know,
did a whole lot of research for her own wedding
and came across this very niche sister of the groom.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
And if you have a small wedding with burgers after you, ye,
why to have a sister.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Of the groom.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
He's literally in the room book, It's in the rules.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
She wants to have a moment where she walks down
the aisle alone before my.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Wife does so a bridesmaid.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
She's like, I want a moment where I'm walking down
the aisle in a white dress and everyone says, oh,
here comes a bride to her brother. Come on, girl.
I've never seen anything like that at a wedding. I've
ever gone to only the bride or one half of
the couple, and sometimes the father walked down the aisle. Well,
bridesmaids do walk like sure like grimsmen and bridesmaid will
(03:32):
walk down the aisle.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
But usually she's not one.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, she's not one. For full disclosure, my sister has ADHD,
and with that, she also has something called rejection sensitive dysphoria.
She takes rejection really personally, and even though my parents
sent her to therapy before, she still takes it hard
when she thinks someone has rejected her, even if they
haven't really done that. But the thing is, yes, that
that isn't like this this thing with people with ADHD.
(03:56):
You can be more sensitive rejection, but it's not a
thing to be like stupid that doesn't inherently come with ADHD.
You can't just be like, well, I want to be
I want to be the maid of honor because I
said so.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
You can't just not reject somebody their whole life.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I told her my fiance and I aren't having wedding
parties or a wedding where other people have a special
role or moment. She feels rejected, and now my parents,
my brother in law, and other people in my family
are pressuring me to change my mind.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Sounds like your sister's been a little baby.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah, it sounds like her. Yeah, everyone's babied her their
whole life.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Am I the ale for telling my sister and everyone
else that I don't care if she feels rejected and
won't change a thing about the wedding. It gets annoying
to have everything revolve around my sister's feelings all the
dang time. I don't think it's wrong for me and
my fiancee to want our wedding day to be about
us instead of giving my sister the role of maid
(04:51):
of honor and groom sister and letting her be the
center of attention like she wants. My parents and my
brother in law are the worst offenders, and I ended
up telling them and everyone else who pressured me that
I'm done talking about this and to never bring it
up again. Am I the angle for those I know?
Sometimes it might seem like the answer is obvious, but
I'm honestly asking for the truth because I'm getting so
(05:13):
much pressure from my family that it is becoming unbearable.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Now.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I just want to have my wedding the way my
fiance and I want it. But my family has never
gotten so upset at me about anything else before, So
I wonder if I overstep. There are some comments. Do
you have any comments of your own? No, it is
your wedding. You do it how you want to. She's
making up wedding roles. She's literally making stuff up.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
No, Sophia, you see in the small weddings with Burgers
after there's a sister of the groom.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
No one reads the small print.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You signed a contract.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I literally signed a contract. It was your birth certificate,
it says in the small print. Of your birth certificate.
If you have a small wedding with burgers, your sister
gets to block down the aisle.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And if you don't have a sister, you have to get.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Gotta get one. Don't make the rule. You're not the ahole.
If that wasn't clear, Yeah, no, Alternative OWL thirty seven
to ten says not the a hole. And I would
tell your parents, sister, and brother in law that if
they mentioned it again, then none of them will be
attending the small occasion with burgers you have planned. You'll
just Elope and I have some random witnesses. Yeah, we'll
(06:20):
get Jerry from the burger place. Yeah, and Suzanne.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Because then we can just limit the locations too. We
can just do the wedding in the burgers in the
burger place.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Let's cut out the middleman. We don't need the courthouse.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Burger place, Burgers down the aisle.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
We get Jerry the burger flipper.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
The flower girl obviously get Jerry the burger flipper.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, he's also the flower girl. Yeah'll throw the French fries.
M hmm, kind of like a salt thing.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
That's the flower girl. Yeah, I it was French fries. Oh.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I was thinking like throw it up.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You know. Oh no, I was doing Flower Girl with
French fries.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I like it. Thank you, you got you got shot,
you got something special in.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
The wedding planning business, I know all the rules.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
I was gonna say, you got spunk, we use you guys,
spunk kidney.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
That should shut them up. Cappy Book nine sixteen says
the two who set them up could be their witnesses.
Oh b side of the family needs to effing chill.
It's not his job to manage his sister's mental illness.
Fresh Passion says, I have rejection sensitivity disorder. Your sister
is trying to weaponize her. She's literally making up things
and it would successfully literally literally She's like, well, I'm
(07:27):
gonna put myself in a situation where I'm obviously gonna
get rejected and then get upset. Yeah, there is no
wedding parties, so there's no sister of the groom. It's
not about her. It's that simple.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Also, it's like made of honor is something that you
pick out of like your closest friends.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Yea sister of the groom.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Girl, you're still the sister of the group, exactly. You're
still his sister. Like, just because we didn't give the
official time, you're still the sister of the groom.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I would be like, oh, we actually in our wedding.
We're not gonna have any like aisle walking. But you're
you're at you are the sister of that.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
You are quite literally already that.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
If she remains upset, she needs to work that out
in therapy. And there is an update. Goody, goody, let's
get it.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
I hope Greg from the Burgers is here.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Two point five weeks later, we got married. We had
the wedding we wanted, yay. On Friday afternoon, we went
to city Hall, signed the paperwork and had a very
quick ceremony. We invited my wife's dad, her sister and
brother in law, her brother and his fiance, and my
best friend and his wife. My best friend and his
(08:33):
wife were the ones who introduced me to my wife
back when my friend, my wife, and I were serving
in the Armed forces. That evening, everyone I went out
to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Everyone took some photos
so we can remember the day, but things were very relaxed.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
The Burger Place, the Burger Place with the Burger Girl.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
We all wore clothes we already had and we kept
everything low key. My wife and I spent Saturday together
and we both have to work today. Dang ks. I
guess you know, if they wanted to keep it looking
maybe they're not doing a honeymoon.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 7 (09:02):
So.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
We decided not to invite my sister, brother in law
and parents because of how they were acting, which I
think is fair.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I think if you warned them and we're like, hey,
if you keep bringing this up, I we're not gonna
want to bring like invite you, then you know that's
on them. That's on them for they kept bringing it
up and then can't bringing it up. Last straw was
them trying to say my father in law was on
their side and wanted us to have a big wedding.
He never said that. I actually think he was a
(09:31):
tiny bit relieve because my wife's sister got married this
year and her brother is getting married next year. He's like,
they got how many weddings?
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I like this burger guy, do you.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Know how many father daughter dances? I mad, I can't
keep dancing.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
My siatic guys driving up dance twice.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Actually he has no I don't go and dance twice time.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Jeez.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
My father law doesn't try to control the weddings of
his kids. He helps out with Erond's if he's needed,
but he doesn't try to control or change things. I
think he was relieved my wife and I didn't have
a big wedding, but he would never say that out
loud or comment on his kids having a big or
small wedding. My sister and everyone else are upset, oh man,
(10:19):
but I honestly don't care.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Get yourself a burger.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, I don't think it's unreasonable for a couple to
have the wedding day want it's like the whole Yeah,
that's kind of the whole pointing, or to have all
the attention on them when it's their wedding day. I
can't believe my parents and my brother in law are
entertaining her ideas on this. If we did have wedding parties,
my wife would want her own sister as the maid
of honor, not my sister. I don't know where my
(10:44):
sister got the idea she would get to walk down
the aisle alone with flowers before my wife did, or
have a special role as sister of the groom. My
wife and I are adults. We don't live with any
of them, and we have jobs slash our own money.
I put my foot down that my wife and I
are the wedding we wanted and we will not be
having any other wedding related stuff. You're done. My wife
(11:05):
and I are ecstatic about being married, and that's all
I ca Caramo. I appreciated all the support in my
last post.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
Edit.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I have been told it is common in America, the
UK and other places for the wedding party to walk
down the aisle, which.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
We said, indeed, it is, it is, it is.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I haven't heard of it because, as I explained in
my post, that isn't done here. Also, even if it was,
my sister wouldn't have been part of the wedding party. Yeah,
it doesn't really matter because she wasn't going to be
the maid of honor.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
And she's still sister, which.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Isn't a role either. My wife would have chosen her
own sister and her friends, and I would have chosen
my friends. It would have looked very strange for my
sister to walk down the aisle alone before my wife did. Yes,
it would have. It certainly would have Where is she
walking to? Literally, I'm confused. Can we pushreadmail and then
(11:57):
she can just bot on. The treadmill passes her and
she's like, huh huh, how she's so fast?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
So quick?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Fund in a little bit and then you just speed
it up. Yeah, and then you put it on like
one of those inclines and she's like, what's going on. Yeah.
That's the end of that story, and that's my advice
for uop. Put your sister on the treadmill. Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Although then we're training her to be stronger.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
She's gonna walk down that aisle so quick. But that's
the end of that story. So we're gonna get into
the next one.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
My stepfather is unhappy. Then I met my real father.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
You have to pick one of us.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
I twenty three female, and I grew up without my
biological dad. He and my mom had me pretty young,
So looking back, I can understand that my bio dad
wasn't ready for fatherhood or whatever. Not that I excuse it.
I just don't really care. My mom was young too,
but she had no choice. By the way, this comes from,
use her name and if you want us to make
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story
(12:52):
Times subreddit and we're here to give good advice, goofully,
but we don't have all the answers.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
We only know what we would do.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
So let us know what you would do. And Opie says,
The thing is, when I was four, my mom met
a guy. He was twenty one and honestly not ready
to be a stepdad either.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I thought we were gonna get another Yeah, I wanted
to switch it.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Up, but he still took me under his wing, and
so instead of stepdad, he became my dad.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
He's like, I'm not ready to be a stepdad, but
I am ready to be a father.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Can't call me Stepdad't call me step dad.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I don't like it. It comes with responsibilities father, totally different,
totally different.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I'm your daddy now.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Oh yeah, we were trying to avoid that one.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That's disgusting.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
For me, the picture was complete. I never once felt
like I was missing something while growing up. I knew
I had a biodad out there, and I would be
lying if I said there were no days where I
wondered why he didn't seem to care about me. But
my father loved me so much and poured so much
of himself into me that it never became a thing.
I'm super thankful. As you can imagine. My mom ended
(13:53):
up marrying him, but unfortunately they divorced when I was sixteen.
He has since moved out, but they were on very
good terms. We all see each other very regularly. He
still visits my maternal grandparents, is very involved and celebrates
Christmas and New Year's with us. They're not together anymore,
but things are still the same. I know how lucky
(14:14):
I am for that now. When I was seventeen, I
decided to reach out to my biodad out of curiosity.
He was very receptive and excited to get.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
To know me.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
From the very beginning.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
It went very.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Fast, and as young as I was, I was not
really aware of this. Immediately, he wanted me to.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Refer to him as Papa.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He like, text this seventeen year old, He's like, call
me Papa, and then he goes, you're bad like Papa.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
You're a lie like Papa. And when he sent me
messages or gifted me stuff, he always had to sign
off with your dad.
Speaker 6 (14:49):
MM.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
This really put me off, but I never knew how
to properly deal with this or tell him. I wasn't
comfortable with that.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
He did the wrong.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
You're like, it's like, yeah, he was like your you
are you are dad? You are dad.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
And then he's pregnant and it's yours but not yours,
o pies.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Oh that's worse. It's his kid. You're not concerned with
how the dad is pregnant either, No, why is he
pregnant with his child's kid?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Because he's dad?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
What you are Dad?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
You are Dad?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
We have funnier guys. Guys, we are funny and funny,
funny down population three. What guys, it's eleven o'clock. It's
actually ten o'clock. This is past Sophia's bedtime. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
No, we're entering the Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I imagine I have a little hat.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Whatever he was pushing on to me did not align
with my reality that my dad was the man who
actually raised me. Instead of laying the groundwork and addressing
the elephants in the room to get that out of
the way, he jumped right into the elephant.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
He said, let's get into that elephant right now, said.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Why are there's so many elephants here?
Speaker 1 (15:59):
I want to address that elephant inside of the elephant
kind of sight, kind of a Jonah inside the whale situation.
He said, we gotta address the whale. I'm in the room,
and the whale is the room.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
And there's elephants in the whale.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
There's elephants in the whale. Address both.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
He jumped right in and skipped all the hard stuff
that needed to be discussed. Contact was very irregular anyway.
He only seemed to reach out when he was bored.
But this didn't really bother me. I was aware I
deserved better, though, so when I was twenty we had
a falling out.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I'm just imagining him being like, hey, you up as
your dad wanna?
Speaker 6 (16:38):
I don't know?
Speaker 4 (16:41):
It's your dad, and you are dad?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
You are Dad, I'm bored.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
We only started speaking again last year, when I was
twenty two. The pattern repeated, no hard conversations, just jumping
ride in. He didn't even address our falling out, just
started texting me about vacations and dinners and family meetings.
I was overwhelmed, and Stu played along.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
It has been a bumpy ride.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
This year, a lot of pretending I'm fine with things,
going along with their family traditions, playing.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
The role that they want me to play.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
I carry my mom's last name, but was originally born
with my bio dad's name. When I was six, I
asked my mom if I could have the same name
as her, and ever since then, I've had her name.
Oh so adorable at six?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Yeah, I what do your name? You've kind of a
prissy Jackson situation.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
He wanted to fight this in court, despite not having
seen me for years at this point and not even
paying child support fifty euros are pounds, that's euros fifty
euros per month, but a legal advisor reminded him of
these facts and that if he would want to object,
he would one hundred percent lose the case anyway. Despite this,
he has me saved at his phone with his last name.
(17:46):
It's things like that that make me feel deeply uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Did it just say that he's not paying child support?
Speaker 5 (17:51):
That he is?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
What did that just say?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Not even paying child support?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I'm sorry, this man's not paying child support, says call me.
Papa keeps messaging you, and now it's like, well, I'm
gonna call you by my last name, even though I'm
not in your life at all.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm Papa last name, Papa last.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Name, Papa last name, Papa last.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Name, and that's what you should save him in your phoneows.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Last summer in August, he had a crash out.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Don't we all?
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Everybody gets one?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Don't we all have a crash out? NAIs? I actually
don't think I had a crush out, Nius. I think
I was pretty chill.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Well, are you lucky?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
He's all cool?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
And he yelled at my half sister seventeen female and me,
which also made it evident he wants and expects more
from me. With more, I mean he wants me to
confirm and affirm his position as a father, that I
reassure him.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
And yes, all that Papa Papa business. But do you
like me? I just feel like everyone doesn't like me,
and I just feel ugly.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
I'm texting you, Hey, you up every night, and you're
not always up.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Sometimes you're asleep, and sometimes you say stop texting me.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
You're not about to say good night, Papa.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
That's all I want. I just want a good night Papa.
It's not that much to ask for this.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Start texting Sophia good night, Papa.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Please do please do and I'll just tex shoot you up.
Speaker 6 (19:08):
But like an hour, please don't do that, do that.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I'm already cut from everything.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
I enjoy me and Sophia's wedding.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Now.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yes, he wants me to forget where I come from
and be all about him, But I just feel like
I can't give him more than just being in his
life and doing fun things with him, building our relationship
like two humans. I started therapy to work with these feelings.
I just struggle with the fact that he's my bio
dad and he's on my legal papers despite never having
done the dirty work for me, the fact that he
(19:40):
can always wave around the papers in my face that
he's my father, and he believes that because the papers
say he's my biological father, he can call himself that.
Technically he can, but I have a very hard time
accepting it, along with him basically trying to hypnotize me
into calling him Papa, our dad on my face.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
He's going, Papa, you're getting very sleepy. In an hour,
you're gonna wake up and text me you.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I don't know, Hey, Papa, you.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Want to come over.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
I've seen stranger things.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Oh, I hope this comes out after season five? Is
all the way up?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Papa's never mind, I'm no spoilers.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
You just stop it, Papa, can you hear me?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
He gives me iPads and all sorts of stuff, all
engraved with your dad, as if it wasn't already obvious.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Hold on, hold on, he's engraving the iPads. Is he
like sketching into the glass Papa?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I think he's getting them laser engraved like your dad.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
It's saying you are Dad.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
So it's so op. He doesn't forget that one day
he will become Papa.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I think it's still insane to engrave, even at laser engraving.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
An iPad, just to get your point across that much
that I am your old dad.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
You can have this iPad if you acknowledge.
Speaker 6 (21:04):
Again, don't forget a piece of female so it makes
it even better.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
All of this is great. I thought, no, that's why
I was so confused the first time around, and then
I got your joke.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
He denies the existence of my real dad, the man
who raised me, and continuously makes weird remarks here and there,
trying to one up him. Anyways, I realize that I
can't go on like this. My negative emotions are making
it hard for me to behave normally, even in the
presence of other family members on his side that have nothing.
Speaker 5 (21:30):
To do with it.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I treasure my budding relationship with my uncle, grandma and
my sister, so I've decided to be honest after all
this time. I texted him a few days ago and
told him that I've been raised by another man in
his absence, and because of this, I've come to see
this man as my father. I stayed respectful, never insulted him,
just described my experience. I told him I'm uncomfortable with
(21:53):
him denying my past, my last name, and that it
feels like I'm not being respected or accepted. That it's
like I'm expected to play the role of the version
of me that he thinks is ideal, the version of
me that would have existed had he not left me.
But that's just not realistic. It's not some sim character
whose life you can shape to your will. I said
(22:13):
that I am willing to continue working on us, but
in a way that works for both of us, not
just him. I want to speak about these things. I
want my life and identity to get acknowledged, not water
myself down into some version of myself that he can
tolerate because it's too painful for him otherwise. But we've
got just a little bit left in all seriousness. Though,
(22:33):
I think that it is great that you finally like
laid down the law and said that and said listen,
like you were not around, do raise me.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
I had a dad.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I have someone that I like to highly consider my dad.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
And it's not you.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
You're not my dad. You're not You're literally not my dad.
You're not my dad, my mom, except this time you're
not my dad. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
Actual meme is you're not my dad.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
That's what you were doing though.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I was, but I thought it was mom. Anyway, he
had it right at the end of the day, He's
not your dad. You got a dad. And he's a
weird guy that keeps asking a calm papa in an
ipadra and he's engraving iPads. That's weird, yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
He said.
Speaker 6 (23:15):
After twenty years, he said, hmm, I'm papa.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
No, Papa's here.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
You up here?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Hey, I know it's been twenty years. Eat Papa, Hey,
Papa here, hit chat Papa here, he ja, it's papa.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
He hasn't replied since, and I'm starting to feel kind
of crazy. Am I overreacting? Why can he never just
reply and have an adult conversation with me? I do
acknowledge that this could be out of the blue for him.
Even though we haven't spoken since our thingy in August.
We did apologize to each other, but it's been very
rusty between us. He says he wants a place in
my life, which he has. He's just not happy with
(23:49):
the police he's gotten. He cannot accept it, but I
can't do more. I have a father. I know I'm
late to being honest, and I feel bad for it.
Am I the a hole? We have some common coming
to one, not the ahole. You are one hundred percent
of the right. Your dad hasn't changed over the years.
I bet if you had never established contact with him,
he wouldn't have done it on his own. You both
(24:10):
can't move forward until the big things are addressed. He
can't sweep them under the rug. Opie says, thank you.
Honestly felt so wrong and still feels so wrong to
continue like this and pretend that everything is perfect. While
we haven't talked about these things from the very beginning.
The things he's denying or refuses to talk about are
things that are so important to me and are basically
(24:32):
my identity. So I always felt like an impostor sitting
there that he has not changed. Is also true that
he was not ready to be a dad because of
his age. I get, but there are things he hasn't
out grown. Unfortunately, he had a daughter after me when
he was older, and she has a very difficult time
with him. I don't think he can be changed, though,
and I realize that trying to is just a waste
(24:53):
of my energy. I know that I need to stop
trying to control it. It's probably beyond me. I've already
sent the message, so I can't take that back. If
he's unwilling to work together, then I guess I need
to decide for myself to remove myself from the situation.
I'm just worried about the collateral damage. And all the opinions.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Ignore the hater's opie. They're just your motivators.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Speed of these haters common or two is downloaded.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Uh Ah, I think.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
You're being a bit dramatic. You have a stepfather who
was a true father to you. Are you still in
frequent contact with him apart from family gatherings? You have
a birth father, that's just true. You don't have to
have any relationship with him at all, but you keep
going back to be a part of his life and
a part of his family's life.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
It doesn't seem like that's actually true. It seems like
he keeps texting Opie, Papa's up. Are you yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Heyes, Papa.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
If you don't want that, then you have to stop.
You don't get to control him. You don't get a
birth father who knows how to rebuild the sort of
relationship you want. All you can control are your choices,
So stop upsetting yourself. Opie says, thank.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
You for your honesty. Lol.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I know I'm being dramatic, but I just can't get
it out of my head. Started therapy too for this reason.
What you're saying is very true. I just think I
need to hear this, especially since everyone else in my
life is pretty biased and harsh about it towards him,
so I can get very lost in this on my own.
It helps to hear it from others who don't know
him and me personally. I just need to accept that
(26:18):
I can't change the fact and can't control him. It's
just really felt bad when I saw that he read
and didn't reply to my message and started overthinking horribly.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Thanks.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
And that's the story.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
And that's the freaking end, dude, that's the end.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
And I hope that he apologized. I hope that he responds,
but that it's in a very civil, nice little let's
actually have a conversation kind of way.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, good luck, Opie. I think that commentre was weird
and like harsh, and I don't think it was like
very terrible. Yeah, but I think in a sense that
I think that is the main I like, my main
advice would be to just kind of create that distance
that you want, uh, and don't feel bad about, you know,
creating its story. But it's not the end of them.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
No, it's no stay put hey, you can't leave John
here og host.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
We're going to get back to these stories. But a
quick three minute break from as from our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I called out my neurodivergent sister and now she thinks
I hate her?
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Did you say mean things to her?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
And this comes directly from the r slash Okay storytime
suppared it Oooh. I thirty one female and my sister
Tina forty one, names changed, have never really gotten along
since I've become an adult myself. For some context, my
sister was diagnosed ADHD autistic at a very early age
and is maybe mentally thirteen on a good day. Because
(27:37):
early on my parents knew this, they essentially enabled her
never even expected her to graduate high school, let alone
be able to live on her own. By the way,
this comes from American horse Pirate. And if you want
to smit your own stories, go to the r slash. Okay,
storytime suppered it, and we're here to give good advice. Goofy.
But we don't have all the answers. We only know
what we'd do, So let us know what you would do.
In the comments, Opie says she did graduate high school
(27:59):
thanks to a family friend who tutored her and helped
her graduate via ged. After graduating, she then went and
lived with her grandma, who is in a wheelchair, to
take care of her. She has little to know long
term or short term memory on events and things, and
has a hard time separating reality from fantasy, only understanding
things on a surface level. After our grandma's passing, she
(28:19):
moved back in with my mother. Our father passed over
ten years ago, and since then has gotten a full
time job as a courtesy clerk, as well as gotten
her driver's license. I had given her my old car,
so she had her own vehicle to drive around, so
I never really was around her much ever, even growing up,
due to her living over an hour away, only coming
home for holidays and weekends here and there, I really
(28:41):
didn't know how handicapped she was until last year, when
my husband and I moved back home to help my mother.
She has a lot of very unrealistic expectations for life
in general, let alone for her particular situation. For example,
she developed a crush on a nineteen year old boy
my mom hired occasionally for repairs, and out of very
hard time grasping why a nineteen year old boy would
(29:03):
not fall ahead over heels in love with a forty
one year old woman, and proceeded to obsess and emotionally
stalk him for three years.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Okay, well that that part, that's the best, the part
that we got to stop doing.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I don't think it's wrong for when.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I had a little crush, Yeah, to emotionally stuck, that's you.
We should stop.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah, really, it keeping really really icky. And if I
were the I mean, we don't really know. I guess
too much about like what level her autism.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
Is about, but she's about.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Thirteen years old. Yeah, Oh, okay, Okay, so we do know,
we do know like kind of age, which it does
make sense some of this behavior. I think that like
not excused, but it does explain.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I think that could totally explain the like, oh my god,
I have a crush kind of thing, and like they're
not realizing that you're a bit older than you feel.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Yes, in which case, I think it's on like whoever
is taking care of her.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
It's on whoe's taking care of her to make sure
that she's not emotionally stalking somebody' thing that you can
expect her to be.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Like, I agree what I'm doing is wrong and I
need to.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Do She doesn't have that mental capacity, but clearly guidance
to help her learn and teach her and keep her
on a path of not doing that is needed. She
also has issues with personal hygiene. She can't remember to
brush her teeth, hair, or shower on a daily basis,
so my mother asked to remind her that those things
do in fact need to be done.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Also very normal, this is Yeah, maybe we could make
a chart on the wall that shows her a little
check off list.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Actually have a Yeah, I have a family friend who
who has watched over you know, person with autism for
my whole life, as long as I've known them, And
they have a whole system and set up. And this
is a person who can't live alone, and so she
like watches him full time and lives with him full
time and you know, helps him. And they have like
people like social workers who like also work with him
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yeah, it just sounds like she has a higher level
of care needed and yeah, person to help her with that.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yeah, because I don't think that I don't know if oh,
he's expecting this of her, because I don't think that's I.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
Don't know that she's necessarily I do think.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
That it should be expected that someone in her life helps, yes, Yes,
and kind of puts limits on you know, these papers.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Whether it be mom or a hired person.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
To help or Tina also desires to have a boyfriend
and eventually get married, which I hope and pray she
does get someday. Since she only has a service level understanding,
I've tried to help her understand what a healthy relationship
entails and that those things aren't easy and require a
lot of work and effort. You have to do more
than just lay around, have spicy sleep and watch movies together.
You also need to shower, take care of yourself, clean,
(31:30):
and not just sit in your room all day. Since
our oldest sister got married over nineteen years ago, she's
desired to get married herself and has caused a lot
of issues because of it. At my husband's in my wedding,
she nearly ruined it by going around saying negative things
about me and my husband the entire reception and pretty
much made my wedding day miserable. Nobody would talk to
(31:51):
her about it because they always have And oh, that's
just that. Tina is mentality and she's never really been
held accountable for her actions. That's the issue. Problem, that
is the issue.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
Can still be held accountable.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yes, you need to help hold Tina accountable because she's
still able to learn in some capacity.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
This is you know, like yeah, and the fact that
everyone was just like, oh, that's just Tina, and no
one went up and said, yeah, Tina, we don't do that.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah's just different. Like again, like like the person that
I know who takes care of a person with autism,
I have seen, I've witnessed her be like oh no,
like we don't do that, Like okay, okay, stop that,
and it's just setting those boundaries and and learning how
to talk to someone and communicate that is effective. But
it doesn't work to just be like.
Speaker 5 (32:34):
Wow, she's mentally a teenager.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
She can understand right and wrong.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
When my husband and I went to leave our reception,
she proceeded to scream costs words at us as we
left and flipped us off. Due to her attitude, everyone
decided to leave the reception and go home. My entire
married life, my husband and I have had to be
extremely careful around her with our PDA. We can't even
sit next to each other on the couch without sending
(32:59):
her into an emotional spiral, saying I'm rubbing my husband
in her face to make her miserable. We don't kiss,
hold hands, or sit with each other when she's around
to avoid her spiraling into a freak out. I couldn't
even give my husband a kiss goodbye when he left
for work without it causing her to freak out. Now,
I was diagnosed ADHD and autistic at age twenty seven
(33:19):
and dived deep into research mode on neurodivergent brain. When
my husband and I moved back to my mom's I
really try to help her now understanding how her brain
works and help her be able to be more social
and comfortable with other people. I took her to my
work with me, I gave writing lessons for horseback riding.
I would take her with me to my friend's houses,
even taking her to karaoke nights when she was comfortable.
(33:42):
I never forced her to do anything, but gave her
open invitations to attend these things and encouraged her to
bring her own car so if she felt overwhelmed she
could go home when she was ready. I encouraged her
when she felt down and really try to help her
be more comfortable outside of her room in the outside world,
so that she could start to get things that she
truly desired, like friends, going to events, and having fun
(34:03):
outside of playing video games. Fast forward to what this
post is about. This happened a few months ago, but
I am still getting some pushback from our mother about this.
We were having a fun day with some friends of
my husband's and I that we've known forever at our
place with my mom and sister. We had a bonfire.
We're roasting marshmallows and hot dogs and letting the kids
run and play. Overall, a very fun day. At one point,
(34:24):
it was just me and my friend Joy sitting by
the fire pit, chatting about x'es and basically saying how
lucky we are to be with the men we have now. Apparently,
my sister was in her room overlooking us at the
fire and evesdropping on the entire conversation. Then Joy went
inside to get another drink and saw my sister and
asked her, Hey, Tina, what's going on in a friendly tone.
(34:45):
My sister went off on her, telling my friend that
she despises me as a person and that I'm a
witch and she wants to physically harm me because everything
I have done in my life has been out of
pure spite of her and to emotionally hurt her on purpose.
My friend knows my sister very well and reassured her
that none if that's true. As kindly as possible, Joy
(35:05):
came out and told me about what had just happened,
which is not the first time she's been in a
spiral and blame me for everything, and usually I just
brush it off, but that night I couldn't sleep and
it truly hurt me that she would say those things
about me. Again, I think it is absolutely very valid
to be affected by those words. I think that maybe
you know this too.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I'm sure she knows it deep down, and I'm sure
she's been hearing like her whole life.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Boy, it's like it's so hard to hear like that.
You know, you have to excuse that, or you have
to understand that she doesn't mean it, or it's come
you know, and that is so hard to hear. And
still you know, have to receive that like verbal attack
and just brush it off. So I do empathize with
you or sympathize with you. Ope, And I don't want
(35:50):
to say, like just brush it off. I think that
there is like there is a necessity and you can
bring up yeah. Yeah, I still think that, like there
are ways to deal with it and say hey, that's
not okay in a way or in a like mental
age appropriate way, maybe is more effective than just saying
let's brush it off or not even talking to her
about it, you know.
Speaker 5 (36:11):
So we'll talk to her about it.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
The next morning when we all woke up and were
walking around. I can't remember exactly what she did, but
I ended up blowing up on her about what she
said to my friend, telling her that it truly hurt me.
Especially since moving back. I've truly tried to help her
get out into the world and do things she's always
wanted to try, on top of just having a baby.
That same year, told me sorry in an angry tone,
and I could tell she didn't actually mean it, and
(36:34):
I called her out on it. That's when I said,
you complain every day that you want to be an
adult and do everything on your own, and you've done
nothing to change and show that you can be an adult.
You aren't accountable for your own actions. You were given
care from me and never said thank you. Mom pays
all your bills for you and all your groceries, and
you expect to go out into the world and be fine.
(36:55):
When you won't, It's time for you to grow up.
Which is an example of maybe not the most effective.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Maybe a bit of a harsh way of saying, I
get it.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I get it, you break. Yeah, everyone has them, everyone
has them. Is it the most effective thing that's going
to get through to her. No, And now we can take.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
A step back and realize that maybe we're a little harsh.
Speaker 5 (37:13):
Yeah, we can have that conversation and maybe.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Cause why we can afford it. Professionals in all, yeah,
people not to help her and guide her, because when
you're not a professional even you know, though you might
know and have your own lived experience of autism and ADHD,
you don't know your sister's experience. You know, you've seen
it from the outside, but you don't know what she
needs from a professional level. She got mad and stomp
(37:36):
back upstairs to her room, where I could hear her
cursing my existence under her breath the entire time. My
sister is a very dramatic person and has a tendency
to tell lies to get attention. I proceeded to tell
my mom she desperately wants to live a normal adult life,
but she hasn't ever been held accountable for her words
or actions, and I'm done sweeping these utterly evil things
she says under the rug and ignoring them. If she
(37:57):
wants to be an adult, I'm going to treat her
like one and call her out for the things she
says and does, which I think is a failing on
your mom's part. Which, again, you know, it's super hard
to figure out how to parent, you know, a child
that has special needs and stuff, But I think it
is a you know, at the end of the day,
you have had to deal with the parenting failures, or
(38:18):
the parenting at least just lack of understanding of how
to care for this child, and you had to, like
kake the broat to that.
Speaker 5 (38:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
A lot after that, my sister went outside for a walk,
and when she returned, she came up to me with
tears in her eyes and said, I don't expect you
to forgive me for what I said, but if you
could think about it, I would.
Speaker 7 (38:35):
Appreciate it, which show I mean, that's great, this is great.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Which shows that maybe, I mean, I don't know if
you know your approach was the best way, but it
does show that you got through. Yeah, saying hey, I'm
going to be straightforward with you does sometimes work with her.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
Opie could be very right.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Maybe she really just does want to be an adult
and nobody's treating her like one, and she's like, oh
my god. Ope.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
I told her I had I'd already forgiven her and
that I loved her dearly, and the only reason what
she said had bothered me was because I loved her.
After that, my husband and I decided to move out
to another state, still seming close for the well being
of her family because there were a lot of other
issues and things happening between my sister and mom and
my mom and me and my husband and my mom
that left us all on edge. I ended up losing
(39:19):
fifty pounds due to the stress and wow, and we
needed our own space to figure out being parents together
without the added stress or influence of my family. But
there is a little bit left to this story. Any
final thoughts.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Think that moving out of the direct like being so
so close to them is good A stayed away shore
or whatever wherever you want to go. I think that'll
help a lot of it. And I do hope that
like people continue to treat your sister maybe a little
more adult and if that's really what she wants, and
like she can kind of start to experience that more.
Speaker 7 (39:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Absolutely, I think.
Speaker 7 (39:54):
If that's truly what's working, Yeah, talk to your mom
and say, hey, Like she kind of received that very well,
and I think it is only beneficial for her to
have I don't know, just at least consequences.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Or at least the understanding that you hurt somebody too.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
But now ever, since then, when my sister goes into
an emotional spiral, it's all my fault again on how
I hate her and water gone, which is not even
remotely true. Like I said, she has a hard time
separating reality from feeling, and when her emotions take control,
all reality goes out the door. My mother blames me
for that argument we had that day. Even though these
(40:28):
spirals are happening less, but they are more drastic than
they typically are. Even though Tina can't remember to brush
her teeth or shower every day, she seems to think
I don't want her to be alive anymore. She can't
remember the result we had where we held each other
in tears filled with love for one another, but just
the fact that I called her out for the words
she said about me to my dear friend, Am I
the ale? I don't think you're the a hole. I
think you were unequipped to deal.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
I think most people in the story were. I agree.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
I think most people in the story are unequipped to
deal with the extra knee that you're you know, of
your sister. Yeah, and if you can't afford it, calling
it a professional or talking to someone I think would
be incredibly helpful.
Speaker 5 (41:07):
Yeah, for everybody. Everybody should talk to someone.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
But uh, that is the end of that story, we
got another one. Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. Put a quick three minute ad
break from our sponsors that keep the show going.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
I kidnapped my sister's dog. Huh And this comes directly
from the Okay storytime subreddit. And we also have a
trigger warning for animal negligence. Ooh, I twenty four female
kidnapped my sister's thirty four female dog. And now half
my family's calling me the a hole. The other half
is texting me cryptic messages like we always need be
(41:42):
the one to bring balance?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Are you the avatar?
Speaker 2 (41:45):
I swear I'm not on substances. By the way, this
comes from Unhappy Potato eighty three, twenty five. And if
you want to meet your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime subreddit and we're here.
Speaker 5 (41:55):
To give good advice. Goofy.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
But we don't have all the answers.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
We only know what we would do, So let us
know what you would do in the comments. Opie says background,
my sister Emily got into a group. She says, it's
not a cult, it's a bio vibrational collective for cosmic alignment.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
It's not a cult. Looks crazy. It's not a cult.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
It's a bio vibrational collective alignment.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
I messed it up.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Bio vibrational collective for cosmic line.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Wait wait, wait, it's a collective ultimate liaison team.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Okay, see u elt, I'll work on a better rector, sure, Jim.
They live on a compound where all white drink mushroom
tea daily and have weird names like star Daddy, Nol
and moon Drip. That's just a subreddit and Emily now
goes by Echo. It's kind of sick, kind of the cool.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
This is like Warrior Cat subred.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I go by Echo Echo. Now have you seen arcane?
Speaker 2 (42:56):
So a few months ago, she gave away most of
her possess except her Australian shepherd.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I love Australian shepherds.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
His name's Waffles, she said, and I quote Waffles is
my soul bridge in this realm.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (43:11):
I look at that person straight.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
I don't know I could have a relationship with a
person like this.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
He's just my soul bridge, you.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
Know, explained to me what that means.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Kai, Kai's my soul's my cat.
Speaker 6 (43:21):
Guys, just for you're saying words right now, and he's
your soul.
Speaker 5 (43:25):
Bridge reference guys.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Yeah, last week I visited the compound for her solar
shift ceremony. Basically, they danced in silence under a heat
lamp for.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Are you guys lizards for three hours? Is that just
a sauna?
Speaker 2 (43:43):
No?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Sorry, this is hot yoga.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
I noticed Waffles looked off dirty, matted for limping slightly
and eating. Plain tofu off the ground.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
They're feeding this dog. They're making a dog a vegetarian insect.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Get that dog out of there. I freaked out that night.
Speaker 4 (43:58):
I stole Waffle.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Good job.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
I drove back home, took him to a vet and
he's got a minor infection and needed proper food. I
texted Emily a photo and said I had him. She flipped,
said I violated the vibration pack.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
I literally don't. I go lo ol. What the hell
is a vibration packed?
Speaker 3 (44:18):
You see this affection?
Speaker 4 (44:19):
I'm so bridge.
Speaker 6 (44:20):
Yeah, it's falling apart. I'd be like this vibration pack
was ruined when he had an infection.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
There's more, and that Waffles had been mid transition into
an ethereal plane.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
That's actually terrifying because that sounds like she's like the
purpose neglected off the dots.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Yeah. She and three cult members showed up at my
house in robes, chanting outside for two hours until my
neighbor called the cop.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Well why didn't you call the cops? Now?
Speaker 2 (44:49):
My mom was saying I disrespected Emily's spiritual journey and
that Waffles is technically her soul property.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Am I the a hole? Genuinely? If this is a true,
cut those people out of your life immediately, because this
is dangerous and scary.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
This is from our subreddit.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Get out of there.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Well cut them off.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Oh yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Take waffles and really take waffles.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Cut them off.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yeah, we have an update.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
Oh boy.
Speaker 5 (45:14):
Three days later.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Wow, did not expect this to blow up. Waffles is
doing great. Yay, he's on antibiotics and he loves his
new chew toy. As for Emily, things got even weirder.
How I got a certified letter yesterday. It was on
holographic paper, not a joke, and signed by the Council of.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Eight Are these people?
Speaker 2 (45:37):
It said, I have seven days to return the vessel
or they'll initiate vibrational reckoning.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
Is this an episode of Doctor Who?
Speaker 3 (45:45):
I would test you like? I want to know what
that is.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
And then Waffles starts just vibrating and spinning in circles.
Speaker 4 (45:51):
He's like levitating off the.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Ground and he's like, how oh p you have saved
me from my reckoning. Yeah, I got you power, you
get three witches.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
Ope, and you are so rich to me.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
For us, we are connected forever.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Whenever the bridge has been confirmed and connected. Baboo, we
are now spiritually connected.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
My lawyers said it's nonsense but also kind of threatening.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Yeah, that's a threat.
Speaker 6 (46:16):
Many Oh to those people, they don't care what a
lawyer says.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Yeah, no, man, they don't. They don't care about ithe
the words of ithlely beings.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
He wears a suit. Gross.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
I also found out their compound is an Arabian b
they've just been squatting it.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Maybe they're just like really method LARPers.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
I want to see the source material that they're LARPing.
Oh yeah, the actual owner showed up and guess what,
he's now also in the group.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
I can't make this up. I hope you're not, because
this is.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Insane, this is trippy, this is really cool.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
This is insane, And guys, we have another update one
week later.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Oh my god get into it, okay, please. Apparently Emily
and Co.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Tried to astrally project into my home to get lawfuls back.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
I'd be like, break it to your house.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
No, that's in the dream realm.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Yeah, I know, I know what huh?
Speaker 1 (47:06):
Were they gonna like steal his soul?
Speaker 2 (47:08):
I think they were gonna actually project in and galofless
unlock the door.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
It's like that scene and the Caribbean when they're like
like have like trying to get a bone to get
the keys from the dog, but it's like them with
an astral bone and the dogs like that's not even
a real bone.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
All that happened was my Alexa started playing pan flute
music at three am?
Speaker 1 (47:29):
Why weird? Really weird?
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Though? Why is that really weird?
Speaker 1 (47:35):
I'd be so freaked out if they said I'm astral
projecting into your house to steal my dog and then
pan flute music started playing. If one, make sure your
alex is not connected?
Speaker 2 (47:44):
Yeah, ones, because they can be, and then you can
like make things play on them. If not, though, weird, baby,
their is leg I'm like.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Loki Loki, I'm joining the colt lokey mean woffles. We're
gonna be testing something like Loki and Wobble have a
soul connection and we're starting your uncle.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
I've officially filed a restraining water. Emily left me a
voicemail crying, saying I've fractured her cosmic timeline.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
I love her, but she needs help.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Yeah. Also that says that Waffles may have been microdose
with psychedelic substances.
Speaker 5 (48:19):
Via his tofu.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
Oh my god, so animal cruelty charges may be incoming.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Please do that.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
There is just a little tanny bit left.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Oh boy, let's hit it. I have no advice for
you other than cut these people out of your life
and file charges.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
And look into the pan flute music, and look into
the pan flue music.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Why did that happen?
Speaker 2 (48:37):
To make sure your Alex is not connected to anyone.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
You've been having weird dreams.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Yeah, what's happening in your dream?
Speaker 3 (48:42):
What's happening in your house?
Speaker 2 (48:43):
Those Waffles feeling at three am? Is he vibrating and
levitating in a circle off the ground?
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Does he go molder? Please?
Speaker 2 (48:53):
You must finish the sole connection with me at tudoy.
Now Emily has left the ground I was expecting. Turns
out Sta Daddy was arrested for tax fraud.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Classic Colt Vibes.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
And moon Drip was actually named Steve. An had a
warrant out in Idaho. She's back home, detoxing from the
substances and agreed Waffles should stay with me until she's stable.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
She's also apologizing a lot. She said she realized things
got out of hand when she saw her robe bill
was three hundred dollars. She's starting therapy.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Thank you read it.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
Waffles and I are safe, happy, and substance free.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Great. That was insane. That was an insane story.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
I did not expect that to resolve.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
So lovely turn twistens turns everywhere and a great resolution. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Can we still inquire about pan flute?
Speaker 1 (49:44):
I need to know because we glossed over that. We
glossed over the fact that it kind of worked. We're
not going to gloss over comments from the video. My
husband refused to play Barbie Dolls with our son, which
I remember. I remember this Posted November tw third, twenty
twenty five. Tildarres Opi is a very anxious, introverted mom
who struggles to let her eighteen year old daughter have
(50:06):
a social life. And this is the third story from
that episode. She keeps strict rules, lectures her, and tries
to control her, which has pushed her daughter away. Her
older daughter stayed more compliant, but the younger one is
growing independent and assertive. Opie realizes she messed up and
is trying to understand why her kids act so differently,
but her attempts at control may have caused lasting damage.
(50:27):
If you're curious to know the full story, you can
go watch the full video.
Speaker 6 (50:31):
Yes, that was what our special guest daniel Ahern a
very good therapist and very very cool tattoos.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
There is a similar story then.
Speaker 6 (50:38):
Comment number one by willow Fire. Willow Fire says, as
a parent, the best way to keep your children safe
is to educate them, Expose them to the world, give
them coping mechanisms, and teach them how to protect themselves
and have a good time responsibly. Both mine are now adults.
They still come to me with all their problems and
tell me things that most people would feel uncomfortable with
(50:59):
discus with their own parents. That's because I talk to them,
give my best advice, and send them on their way.
I'm super proud of them both. I'm not always a
big fan of the choices they make. They're not perfect,
but then neither am I. Actually I need to correct that.
In my eyes, they are perfect.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
Now.
Speaker 6 (51:15):
I love them unconditionally, but I don't always agree with
their choices. However, I was young once, and goodness knows,
I've made some crappy decisions in my day.
Speaker 3 (51:23):
Lol.
Speaker 6 (51:24):
Not saying I'm a perfect mom, but in this aspect,
I am reaping the rewards. So in that aspect, I
think I did well.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Ah, yeah, I think that's a point. Great. You just
have to let your kids like make their own mistakes
at a certain point guarded life experience. You can advise
them up until a certain point, yeah, and then you
just kind of have to hope that they've learned from
what you've taught them.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
And when I say guarded, I only mean in the
sense of like a very dangerous situation.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
Absolutely, you can let them make the other.
Speaker 6 (51:51):
Yeah, And I've met a lot of people who were
so sheltered that it made them want to do more CRS.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Absolutely, people people want a yeah, they want to rebel.
Speaker 6 (52:01):
There's a there's a perfect balance. And I think that
that commentary did really well. But again, that's it's you.
You guide your children not or some or put them
on their path. It's like it's their path, they'll figure
it out, but.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
No one knows how to parent.
Speaker 6 (52:13):
You know perfectly, there's books in everything, and you'd research it,
but it's like.
Speaker 1 (52:17):
You never know how your child's going to react to
that exactly.
Speaker 6 (52:19):
You know, it's it's tough Hannah Joan or Hannah Joanne
either or it sounds like Opie's mom has agoraphobia, basically
the fear of anything outside of your world.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
It does sound like that in that story.
Speaker 6 (52:29):
I remember, Yeah, we all remember, like whoa, there's an
influencer who has suffered from it to the point she
didn't live her leave her house for a long while.
She was recently talking about how she has developed it
with her phone now where she gets scared of seeing
or hearing something bad, so she hasn't been on it
or even responded to people near as much.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
Dang.
Speaker 6 (52:47):
I can personally relate to both Opie's mom and said influencer,
but I know that it's not a healthy or realistic lifestyle,
especially with a child. Yeah, our personal problems and triggers
are not for others to fix or commodate to.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
You have to learn to overcome the traumas that you've
experienced for the safer kids.
Speaker 6 (53:04):
Yeah, I think it's also just like a not a
leap of faith, but it's like you gotta put more
faith in them.
Speaker 1 (53:09):
Yeah, you do. You have to trust your children to learn.
Speaker 6 (53:12):
And I know the world is scary, but you can't
just hide them from the world.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (53:16):
And we have another comment here by Amber Apathy six.
Amber says, as someone with the mother who tried to
keep me at home with her, that woman is trying
to control everything. She doesn't like the way her daughter
is acting because she isn't sitting down and allowing her
mother to dictate everything she does. The one good thing
she did was realize this was her fault. I agree
(53:36):
egh V three X. I love the psychologists episodes great. Yeah,
we love them too.
Speaker 5 (53:43):
We like them.
Speaker 6 (53:43):
I truly feel like they give great advice and I'm
starting to learn a lot. Keep up the great work, y'all.
Speaker 3 (53:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (53:49):
Yeah he was really chill.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
He was awesome.
Speaker 6 (53:50):
Yeah, I liked him really chill guy.
Speaker 3 (53:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
That is the end of those comments and the end
of this episode. So if you love us, make sure
to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
We love you and see you tomorrow,
Hey, this is Sam.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
This is John, the og story Time podcast host.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.
But before that we get a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like
a little house.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Oh you I rejected. My sister, who's sensitive to.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Rejection, really doesn't like it.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I mail thirty, am newly engaged. Congrats My fiance female
thirty and I have been together for two years and
we both feel ready for the next step. We don't
want a big wedding. We both come from huge families
and we don't want to deal with the costs and
the headache of planning a huge event. By the way,
this comes from Throwaway am I the a hole one
oh one two five two five And if you want
(00:40):
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay Storytime subpured at. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon,
and we're here to give good advice. Goofley. But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
so let us know what you would do in the
comment and OPI sas. Our plan is to go to
city Hall and sign the required papers. We would invite
my parents, my sister, my brother in law, my fia say,
his father, sister, brother in law, and brother, as well
(01:03):
as two of my friends since they were the ones
who set me and my fiance up when we were
in the Armed Forces. After city hall, we would all
go out for dinner. Sounds pretty cool, pretty chill dash,
She like, I got married and then we went out
for burgers. We don't want any other wedding stuff or
any kind of reception. When my older sister got married
three years ago, I ended up being thankful I was
(01:24):
stationed in another country and wasn't at home. I was
in the Air Force at the time. She had a huge,
expensive wedding and then took an expensive trip to the
United States for her honeymoon. This is normal in our family,
but watching the wedding on a live stream was enough
for me.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I don't need think we need to go and judge
her choiceod like.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I didn't hear anything about her being a nightmare to
deal with it. She had a big wedding, all chose to.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Have a small one.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
That's fine, everything's fine. Why did you I don't know.
I don't love that, you said, Oh thank god, I
missed her wedding. Your sisters, see where that go. I
was getting a headache when I was hearing about the
planning second hand. But you didn't have to plan it
and shut.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
It off second hand. It wasn't even her complaining.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
My fiance and I don't want that stress. Okay, that's fine,
and you don't have to have it.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
Don't have to have it.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
I thought my family would have a problem with us
not having a big wedding or only inviting my parents, sister,
and brother in law, but my sister got upset because
she wanted to be my fiances made of honor. We
aren't even having a maid of honor or best man
or wedding party at all. Even if we were, my
fiance would want her own sister to be made of honor,
not my sister. That is pretty silly. Yeah, that's pretty crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
That's just sit the goofy move.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
Yeah right there.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
My sister also thought she would get a special role
in the wedding as sister of the groom, which isn't
a thing as far as I know, nor is it
something that I've ever heard of. But maybe she, you know,
did a whole lot of research for her own wedding
and came across this very niche sister of the groom.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
And if you have a small wedding with burgers after you, ye,
why to have a sister.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Of the groom.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
He's literally in the room book, It's in the rules.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
She wants to have a moment where she walks down
the aisle alone before my.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Wife does so a bridesmaid.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
She's like, I want a moment where I'm walking down
the aisle in a white dress and everyone says, oh,
here comes a bride to her brother. Come on, girl.
I've never seen anything like that at a wedding. I've
ever gone to only the bride or one half of
the couple, and sometimes the father walked down the aisle. Well,
bridesmaids do walk like sure like grimsmen and bridesmaid will
(03:32):
walk down the aisle.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
But usually she's not one.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, she's not one. For full disclosure, my sister has ADHD,
and with that, she also has something called rejection sensitive dysphoria.
She takes rejection really personally, and even though my parents
sent her to therapy before, she still takes it hard
when she thinks someone has rejected her, even if they
haven't really done that. But the thing is, yes, that
that isn't like this this thing with people with ADHD.
(03:56):
You can be more sensitive rejection, but it's not a
thing to be like stupid that doesn't inherently come with ADHD.
You can't just be like, well, I want to be
I want to be the maid of honor because I
said so.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
You can't just not reject somebody their whole life.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I told her my fiance and I aren't having wedding
parties or a wedding where other people have a special
role or moment. She feels rejected, and now my parents,
my brother in law, and other people in my family
are pressuring me to change my mind.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Sounds like your sister's been a little baby.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah, it sounds like her. Yeah, everyone's babied her their
whole life.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Am I the ale for telling my sister and everyone
else that I don't care if she feels rejected and
won't change a thing about the wedding. It gets annoying
to have everything revolve around my sister's feelings all the
dang time. I don't think it's wrong for me and
my fiancee to want our wedding day to be about
us instead of giving my sister the role of maid
(04:51):
of honor and groom sister and letting her be the
center of attention like she wants. My parents and my
brother in law are the worst offenders, and I ended
up telling them and everyone else who pressured me that
I'm done talking about this and to never bring it
up again. Am I the angle for those I know?
Sometimes it might seem like the answer is obvious, but
I'm honestly asking for the truth because I'm getting so
(05:13):
much pressure from my family that it is becoming unbearable.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Now.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I just want to have my wedding the way my
fiance and I want it. But my family has never
gotten so upset at me about anything else before, So
I wonder if I overstep. There are some comments. Do
you have any comments of your own? No, it is
your wedding. You do it how you want to. She's
making up wedding roles. She's literally making stuff up.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
No, Sophia, you see in the small weddings with Burgers
after there's a sister of the groom.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
No one reads the small print.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You signed a contract.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I literally signed a contract. It was your birth certificate,
it says in the small print. Of your birth certificate.
If you have a small wedding with burgers, your sister
gets to block down the aisle.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And if you don't have a sister, you have to get.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Gotta get one. Don't make the rule. You're not the ahole.
If that wasn't clear, Yeah, no, Alternative OWL thirty seven
to ten says not the a hole. And I would
tell your parents, sister, and brother in law that if
they mentioned it again, then none of them will be
attending the small occasion with burgers you have planned. You'll
just Elope and I have some random witnesses. Yeah, we'll
(06:20):
get Jerry from the burger place. Yeah, and Suzanne.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Because then we can just limit the locations too. We
can just do the wedding in the burgers in the
burger place.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Let's cut out the middleman. We don't need the courthouse.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Burger place, Burgers down the aisle.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
We get Jerry the burger flipper.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
The flower girl obviously get Jerry the burger flipper.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, he's also the flower girl. Yeah'll throw the French fries.
M hmm, kind of like a salt thing.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
That's the flower girl. Yeah, I it was French fries. Oh.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I was thinking like throw it up.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You know. Oh no, I was doing Flower Girl with
French fries.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I like it. Thank you, you got you got shot,
you got something special in.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
The wedding planning business, I know all the rules.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
I was gonna say, you got spunk, we use you guys,
spunk kidney.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
That should shut them up. Cappy Book nine sixteen says
the two who set them up could be their witnesses.
Oh b side of the family needs to effing chill.
It's not his job to manage his sister's mental illness.
Fresh Passion says, I have rejection sensitivity disorder. Your sister
is trying to weaponize her. She's literally making up things
and it would successfully literally literally She's like, well, I'm
(07:27):
gonna put myself in a situation where I'm obviously gonna
get rejected and then get upset. Yeah, there is no
wedding parties, so there's no sister of the groom. It's
not about her. It's that simple.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Also, it's like made of honor is something that you
pick out of like your closest friends.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Yea sister of the groom.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Girl, you're still the sister of the group, exactly. You're
still his sister. Like, just because we didn't give the
official time, you're still the sister of the groom.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I would be like, oh, we actually in our wedding.
We're not gonna have any like aisle walking. But you're
you're at you are the sister of that.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
You are quite literally already that.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
If she remains upset, she needs to work that out
in therapy. And there is an update. Goody, goody, let's
get it.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
I hope Greg from the Burgers is here.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Two point five weeks later, we got married. We had
the wedding we wanted, yay. On Friday afternoon, we went
to city Hall, signed the paperwork and had a very
quick ceremony. We invited my wife's dad, her sister and
brother in law, her brother and his fiance, and my
best friend and his wife. My best friend and his
(08:33):
wife were the ones who introduced me to my wife
back when my friend, my wife, and I were serving
in the Armed forces. That evening, everyone I went out
to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Everyone took some photos
so we can remember the day, but things were very relaxed.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
The Burger Place, the Burger Place with the Burger Girl.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
We all wore clothes we already had and we kept
everything low key. My wife and I spent Saturday together
and we both have to work today. Dang ks. I
guess you know, if they wanted to keep it looking
maybe they're not doing a honeymoon.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 7 (09:02):
So.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
We decided not to invite my sister, brother in law
and parents because of how they were acting, which I
think is fair.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I think if you warned them and we're like, hey,
if you keep bringing this up, I we're not gonna
want to bring like invite you, then you know that's
on them. That's on them for they kept bringing it
up and then can't bringing it up. Last straw was
them trying to say my father in law was on
their side and wanted us to have a big wedding.
He never said that. I actually think he was a
(09:31):
tiny bit relieve because my wife's sister got married this
year and her brother is getting married next year. He's like,
they got how many weddings?
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I like this burger guy, do you.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Know how many father daughter dances? I mad, I can't
keep dancing.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
My siatic guys driving up dance twice.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Actually he has no I don't go and dance twice time.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Jeez.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
My father law doesn't try to control the weddings of
his kids. He helps out with Erond's if he's needed,
but he doesn't try to control or change things. I
think he was relieved my wife and I didn't have
a big wedding, but he would never say that out
loud or comment on his kids having a big or
small wedding. My sister and everyone else are upset, oh man,
(10:19):
but I honestly don't care.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Get yourself a burger.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, I don't think it's unreasonable for a couple to
have the wedding day want it's like the whole Yeah,
that's kind of the whole pointing, or to have all
the attention on them when it's their wedding day. I
can't believe my parents and my brother in law are
entertaining her ideas on this. If we did have wedding parties,
my wife would want her own sister as the maid
of honor, not my sister. I don't know where my
(10:44):
sister got the idea she would get to walk down
the aisle alone with flowers before my wife did, or
have a special role as sister of the groom. My
wife and I are adults. We don't live with any
of them, and we have jobs slash our own money.
I put my foot down that my wife and I
are the wedding we wanted and we will not be
having any other wedding related stuff. You're done. My wife
(11:05):
and I are ecstatic about being married, and that's all
I ca Caramo. I appreciated all the support in my
last post.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
Edit.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I have been told it is common in America, the
UK and other places for the wedding party to walk
down the aisle, which.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
We said, indeed, it is, it is, it is.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I haven't heard of it because, as I explained in
my post, that isn't done here. Also, even if it was,
my sister wouldn't have been part of the wedding party. Yeah,
it doesn't really matter because she wasn't going to be
the maid of honor.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
And she's still sister, which.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Isn't a role either. My wife would have chosen her
own sister and her friends, and I would have chosen
my friends. It would have looked very strange for my
sister to walk down the aisle alone before my wife did. Yes,
it would have. It certainly would have Where is she
walking to? Literally, I'm confused. Can we pushreadmail and then
(11:57):
she can just bot on. The treadmill passes her and
she's like, huh huh, how she's so fast?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
So quick?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Fund in a little bit and then you just speed
it up. Yeah, and then you put it on like
one of those inclines and she's like, what's going on. Yeah.
That's the end of that story, and that's my advice
for uop. Put your sister on the treadmill. Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Although then we're training her to be stronger.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
She's gonna walk down that aisle so quick. But that's
the end of that story. So we're gonna get into
the next one.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
My stepfather is unhappy. Then I met my real father.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
You have to pick one of us.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
I twenty three female, and I grew up without my
biological dad. He and my mom had me pretty young,
So looking back, I can understand that my bio dad
wasn't ready for fatherhood or whatever. Not that I excuse it.
I just don't really care. My mom was young too,
but she had no choice. By the way, this comes from,
use her name and if you want us to make
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story
(12:52):
Times subreddit and we're here to give good advice, goofully,
but we don't have all the answers.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
We only know what we would do.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
So let us know what you would do. And Opie says,
The thing is, when I was four, my mom met
a guy. He was twenty one and honestly not ready
to be a stepdad either.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I thought we were gonna get another Yeah, I wanted
to switch it.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Up, but he still took me under his wing, and
so instead of stepdad, he became my dad.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
He's like, I'm not ready to be a stepdad, but
I am ready to be a father.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Can't call me Stepdad't call me step dad.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I don't like it. It comes with responsibilities father, totally different,
totally different.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I'm your daddy now.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Oh yeah, we were trying to avoid that one.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That's disgusting.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
For me, the picture was complete. I never once felt
like I was missing something while growing up. I knew
I had a biodad out there, and I would be
lying if I said there were no days where I
wondered why he didn't seem to care about me. But
my father loved me so much and poured so much
of himself into me that it never became a thing.
I'm super thankful. As you can imagine. My mom ended
(13:53):
up marrying him, but unfortunately they divorced when I was sixteen.
He has since moved out, but they were on very
good terms. We all see each other very regularly. He
still visits my maternal grandparents, is very involved and celebrates
Christmas and New Year's with us. They're not together anymore,
but things are still the same. I know how lucky
(14:14):
I am for that now. When I was seventeen, I
decided to reach out to my biodad out of curiosity.
He was very receptive and excited to get.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
To know me.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
From the very beginning.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
It went very.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Fast, and as young as I was, I was not
really aware of this. Immediately, he wanted me to.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Refer to him as Papa.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He like, text this seventeen year old, He's like, call
me Papa, and then he goes, you're bad like Papa.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
You're a lie like Papa. And when he sent me
messages or gifted me stuff, he always had to sign
off with your dad.
Speaker 6 (14:49):
MM.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
This really put me off, but I never knew how
to properly deal with this or tell him. I wasn't
comfortable with that.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
He did the wrong.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
You're like, it's like, yeah, he was like your you
are you are dad? You are dad.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
And then he's pregnant and it's yours but not yours,
o pies.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Oh that's worse. It's his kid. You're not concerned with
how the dad is pregnant either, No, why is he
pregnant with his child's kid?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Because he's dad?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
What you are Dad?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
You are Dad?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
We have funnier guys. Guys, we are funny and funny,
funny down population three. What guys, it's eleven o'clock. It's
actually ten o'clock. This is past Sophia's bedtime. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
No, we're entering the Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I imagine I have a little hat.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Whatever he was pushing on to me did not align
with my reality that my dad was the man who
actually raised me. Instead of laying the groundwork and addressing
the elephants in the room to get that out of
the way, he jumped right into the elephant.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
He said, let's get into that elephant right now, said.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Why are there's so many elephants here?
Speaker 1 (15:59):
I want to address that elephant inside of the elephant
kind of sight, kind of a Jonah inside the whale situation.
He said, we gotta address the whale. I'm in the room,
and the whale is the room.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
And there's elephants in the whale.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
There's elephants in the whale. Address both.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
He jumped right in and skipped all the hard stuff
that needed to be discussed. Contact was very irregular anyway.
He only seemed to reach out when he was bored.
But this didn't really bother me. I was aware I
deserved better, though, so when I was twenty we had
a falling out.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I'm just imagining him being like, hey, you up as
your dad wanna?
Speaker 6 (16:38):
I don't know?
Speaker 4 (16:41):
It's your dad, and you are dad?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
You are Dad, I'm bored.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
We only started speaking again last year, when I was
twenty two. The pattern repeated, no hard conversations, just jumping
ride in. He didn't even address our falling out, just
started texting me about vacations and dinners and family meetings.
I was overwhelmed, and Stu played along.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
It has been a bumpy ride.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
This year, a lot of pretending I'm fine with things,
going along with their family traditions, playing.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
The role that they want me to play.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
I carry my mom's last name, but was originally born
with my bio dad's name. When I was six, I
asked my mom if I could have the same name
as her, and ever since then, I've had her name.
Oh so adorable at six?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Yeah, I what do your name? You've kind of a
prissy Jackson situation.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
He wanted to fight this in court, despite not having
seen me for years at this point and not even
paying child support fifty euros are pounds, that's euros fifty
euros per month, but a legal advisor reminded him of
these facts and that if he would want to object,
he would one hundred percent lose the case anyway. Despite this,
he has me saved at his phone with his last name.
(17:46):
It's things like that that make me feel deeply uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Did it just say that he's not paying child support?
Speaker 5 (17:51):
That he is?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
What did that just say?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Not even paying child support?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I'm sorry, this man's not paying child support, says call me.
Papa keeps messaging you, and now it's like, well, I'm
gonna call you by my last name, even though I'm
not in your life at all.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm Papa last name, Papa last.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Name, Papa last name, Papa last.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Name, and that's what you should save him in your phoneows.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Last summer in August, he had a crash out.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Don't we all?
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Everybody gets one?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Don't we all have a crash out? NAIs? I actually
don't think I had a crush out, Nius. I think
I was pretty chill.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Well, are you lucky?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
He's all cool?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
And he yelled at my half sister seventeen female and me,
which also made it evident he wants and expects more
from me. With more, I mean he wants me to
confirm and affirm his position as a father, that I
reassure him.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
And yes, all that Papa Papa business. But do you
like me? I just feel like everyone doesn't like me,
and I just feel ugly.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
I'm texting you, Hey, you up every night, and you're
not always up.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Sometimes you're asleep, and sometimes you say stop texting me.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
You're not about to say good night, Papa.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
That's all I want. I just want a good night Papa.
It's not that much to ask for this.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Start texting Sophia good night, Papa.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Please do please do and I'll just tex shoot you up.
Speaker 6 (19:08):
But like an hour, please don't do that, do that.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I'm already cut from everything.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
I enjoy me and Sophia's wedding.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Now.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yes, he wants me to forget where I come from
and be all about him, But I just feel like
I can't give him more than just being in his
life and doing fun things with him, building our relationship
like two humans. I started therapy to work with these feelings.
I just struggle with the fact that he's my bio
dad and he's on my legal papers despite never having
done the dirty work for me, the fact that he
(19:40):
can always wave around the papers in my face that
he's my father, and he believes that because the papers
say he's my biological father, he can call himself that.
Technically he can, but I have a very hard time
accepting it, along with him basically trying to hypnotize me
into calling him Papa, our dad on my face.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
He's going, Papa, you're getting very sleepy. In an hour,
you're gonna wake up and text me you.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I don't know, Hey, Papa, you.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Want to come over.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
I've seen stranger things.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Oh, I hope this comes out after season five? Is
all the way up?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Papa's never mind, I'm no spoilers.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
You just stop it, Papa, can you hear me?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
He gives me iPads and all sorts of stuff, all
engraved with your dad, as if it wasn't already obvious.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Hold on, hold on, he's engraving the iPads. Is he
like sketching into the glass Papa?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I think he's getting them laser engraved like your dad.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
It's saying you are Dad.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
So it's so op. He doesn't forget that one day
he will become Papa.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I think it's still insane to engrave, even at laser engraving.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
An iPad, just to get your point across that much
that I am your old dad.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
You can have this iPad if you acknowledge.
Speaker 6 (21:04):
Again, don't forget a piece of female so it makes
it even better.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
All of this is great. I thought, no, that's why
I was so confused the first time around, and then
I got your joke.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
He denies the existence of my real dad, the man
who raised me, and continuously makes weird remarks here and there,
trying to one up him. Anyways, I realize that I
can't go on like this. My negative emotions are making
it hard for me to behave normally, even in the
presence of other family members on his side that have nothing.
Speaker 5 (21:30):
To do with it.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I treasure my budding relationship with my uncle, grandma and
my sister, so I've decided to be honest after all
this time. I texted him a few days ago and
told him that I've been raised by another man in
his absence, and because of this, I've come to see
this man as my father. I stayed respectful, never insulted him,
just described my experience. I told him I'm uncomfortable with
(21:53):
him denying my past, my last name, and that it
feels like I'm not being respected or accepted. That it's
like I'm expected to play the role of the version
of me that he thinks is ideal, the version of
me that would have existed had he not left me.
But that's just not realistic. It's not some sim character
whose life you can shape to your will. I said
(22:13):
that I am willing to continue working on us, but
in a way that works for both of us, not
just him. I want to speak about these things. I
want my life and identity to get acknowledged, not water
myself down into some version of myself that he can
tolerate because it's too painful for him otherwise. But we've
got just a little bit left in all seriousness. Though,
(22:33):
I think that it is great that you finally like
laid down the law and said that and said listen,
like you were not around, do raise me.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
I had a dad.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I have someone that I like to highly consider my dad.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
And it's not you.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
You're not my dad. You're not You're literally not my dad.
You're not my dad, my mom, except this time you're
not my dad. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
Actual meme is you're not my dad.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
That's what you were doing though.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I was, but I thought it was mom. Anyway, he
had it right at the end of the day, He's
not your dad. You got a dad. And he's a
weird guy that keeps asking a calm papa in an
ipadra and he's engraving iPads. That's weird, yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
He said.
Speaker 6 (23:15):
After twenty years, he said, hmm, I'm papa.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
No, Papa's here.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
You up here?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Hey, I know it's been twenty years. Eat Papa, Hey,
Papa here, hit chat Papa here, he ja, it's papa.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
He hasn't replied since, and I'm starting to feel kind
of crazy. Am I overreacting? Why can he never just
reply and have an adult conversation with me? I do
acknowledge that this could be out of the blue for him.
Even though we haven't spoken since our thingy in August.
We did apologize to each other, but it's been very
rusty between us. He says he wants a place in
my life, which he has. He's just not happy with
(23:49):
the police he's gotten. He cannot accept it, but I
can't do more. I have a father. I know I'm
late to being honest, and I feel bad for it.
Am I the a hole? We have some common coming
to one, not the ahole. You are one hundred percent
of the right. Your dad hasn't changed over the years.
I bet if you had never established contact with him,
he wouldn't have done it on his own. You both
(24:10):
can't move forward until the big things are addressed. He
can't sweep them under the rug. Opie says, thank you.
Honestly felt so wrong and still feels so wrong to
continue like this and pretend that everything is perfect. While
we haven't talked about these things from the very beginning.
The things he's denying or refuses to talk about are
things that are so important to me and are basically
(24:32):
my identity. So I always felt like an impostor sitting
there that he has not changed. Is also true that
he was not ready to be a dad because of
his age. I get, but there are things he hasn't
out grown. Unfortunately, he had a daughter after me when
he was older, and she has a very difficult time
with him. I don't think he can be changed, though,
and I realize that trying to is just a waste
(24:53):
of my energy. I know that I need to stop
trying to control it. It's probably beyond me. I've already
sent the message, so I can't take that back. If
he's unwilling to work together, then I guess I need
to decide for myself to remove myself from the situation.
I'm just worried about the collateral damage. And all the opinions.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Ignore the hater's opie. They're just your motivators.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Speed of these haters common or two is downloaded.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Uh Ah, I think.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
You're being a bit dramatic. You have a stepfather who
was a true father to you. Are you still in
frequent contact with him apart from family gatherings? You have
a birth father, that's just true. You don't have to
have any relationship with him at all, but you keep
going back to be a part of his life and
a part of his family's life.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
It doesn't seem like that's actually true. It seems like
he keeps texting Opie, Papa's up. Are you yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Heyes, Papa.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
If you don't want that, then you have to stop.
You don't get to control him. You don't get a
birth father who knows how to rebuild the sort of
relationship you want. All you can control are your choices,
So stop upsetting yourself. Opie says, thank.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
You for your honesty. Lol.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I know I'm being dramatic, but I just can't get
it out of my head. Started therapy too for this reason.
What you're saying is very true. I just think I
need to hear this, especially since everyone else in my
life is pretty biased and harsh about it towards him,
so I can get very lost in this on my own.
It helps to hear it from others who don't know
him and me personally. I just need to accept that
(26:18):
I can't change the fact and can't control him. It's
just really felt bad when I saw that he read
and didn't reply to my message and started overthinking horribly.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Thanks.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
And that's the story.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
And that's the freaking end, dude, that's the end.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
And I hope that he apologized. I hope that he responds,
but that it's in a very civil, nice little let's
actually have a conversation kind of way.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, good luck, Opie. I think that commentre was weird
and like harsh, and I don't think it was like
very terrible. Yeah, but I think in a sense that
I think that is the main I like, my main
advice would be to just kind of create that distance
that you want, uh, and don't feel bad about, you know,
creating its story. But it's not the end of them.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
No, it's no stay put hey, you can't leave John
here og host.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
We're going to get back to these stories. But a
quick three minute break from as from our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I called out my neurodivergent sister and now she thinks
I hate her?
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Did you say mean things to her?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
And this comes directly from the r slash Okay storytime
suppared it Oooh. I thirty one female and my sister
Tina forty one, names changed, have never really gotten along
since I've become an adult myself. For some context, my
sister was diagnosed ADHD autistic at a very early age
and is maybe mentally thirteen on a good day. Because
(27:37):
early on my parents knew this, they essentially enabled her
never even expected her to graduate high school, let alone
be able to live on her own. By the way,
this comes from American horse Pirate. And if you want
to smit your own stories, go to the r slash. Okay,
storytime suppered it, and we're here to give good advice. Goofy.
But we don't have all the answers. We only know
what we'd do, So let us know what you would do.
In the comments, Opie says she did graduate high school
(27:59):
thanks to a family friend who tutored her and helped
her graduate via ged. After graduating, she then went and
lived with her grandma, who is in a wheelchair, to
take care of her. She has little to know long
term or short term memory on events and things, and
has a hard time separating reality from fantasy, only understanding
things on a surface level. After our grandma's passing, she
(28:19):
moved back in with my mother. Our father passed over
ten years ago, and since then has gotten a full
time job as a courtesy clerk, as well as gotten
her driver's license. I had given her my old car,
so she had her own vehicle to drive around, so
I never really was around her much ever, even growing up,
due to her living over an hour away, only coming
home for holidays and weekends here and there, I really
(28:41):
didn't know how handicapped she was until last year, when
my husband and I moved back home to help my mother.
She has a lot of very unrealistic expectations for life
in general, let alone for her particular situation. For example,
she developed a crush on a nineteen year old boy
my mom hired occasionally for repairs, and out of very
hard time grasping why a nineteen year old boy would
(29:03):
not fall ahead over heels in love with a forty
one year old woman, and proceeded to obsess and emotionally
stalk him for three years.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Okay, well that that part, that's the best, the part
that we got to stop doing.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I don't think it's wrong for when.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I had a little crush, Yeah, to emotionally stuck, that's you.
We should stop.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah, really, it keeping really really icky. And if I
were the I mean, we don't really know. I guess
too much about like what level her autism.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
Is about, but she's about.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Thirteen years old. Yeah, Oh, okay, Okay, so we do know,
we do know like kind of age, which it does
make sense some of this behavior. I think that like
not excused, but it does explain.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I think that could totally explain the like, oh my god,
I have a crush kind of thing, and like they're
not realizing that you're a bit older than you feel.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Yes, in which case, I think it's on like whoever
is taking care of her.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
It's on whoe's taking care of her to make sure
that she's not emotionally stalking somebody' thing that you can
expect her to be.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Like, I agree what I'm doing is wrong and I
need to.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Do She doesn't have that mental capacity, but clearly guidance
to help her learn and teach her and keep her
on a path of not doing that is needed. She
also has issues with personal hygiene. She can't remember to
brush her teeth, hair, or shower on a daily basis,
so my mother asked to remind her that those things
do in fact need to be done.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Also very normal, this is Yeah, maybe we could make
a chart on the wall that shows her a little
check off list.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Actually have a Yeah, I have a family friend who
who has watched over you know, person with autism for
my whole life, as long as I've known them, And
they have a whole system and set up. And this
is a person who can't live alone, and so she
like watches him full time and lives with him full
time and you know, helps him. And they have like
people like social workers who like also work with him
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yeah, it just sounds like she has a higher level
of care needed and yeah, person to help her with that.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yeah, because I don't think that I don't know if oh,
he's expecting this of her, because I don't think that's I.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
Don't know that she's necessarily I do think.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
That it should be expected that someone in her life helps, yes, Yes,
and kind of puts limits on you know, these papers.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Whether it be mom or a hired person.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
To help or Tina also desires to have a boyfriend
and eventually get married, which I hope and pray she
does get someday. Since she only has a service level understanding,
I've tried to help her understand what a healthy relationship
entails and that those things aren't easy and require a
lot of work and effort. You have to do more
than just lay around, have spicy sleep and watch movies together.
You also need to shower, take care of yourself, clean,
(31:30):
and not just sit in your room all day. Since
our oldest sister got married over nineteen years ago, she's
desired to get married herself and has caused a lot
of issues because of it. At my husband's in my wedding,
she nearly ruined it by going around saying negative things
about me and my husband the entire reception and pretty
much made my wedding day miserable. Nobody would talk to
(31:51):
her about it because they always have And oh, that's
just that. Tina is mentality and she's never really been
held accountable for her actions. That's the issue. Problem, that
is the issue.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
Can still be held accountable.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yes, you need to help hold Tina accountable because she's
still able to learn in some capacity.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
This is you know, like yeah, and the fact that
everyone was just like, oh, that's just Tina, and no
one went up and said, yeah, Tina, we don't do that.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah's just different. Like again, like like the person that
I know who takes care of a person with autism,
I have seen, I've witnessed her be like oh no,
like we don't do that, Like okay, okay, stop that,
and it's just setting those boundaries and and learning how
to talk to someone and communicate that is effective. But
it doesn't work to just be like.
Speaker 5 (32:34):
Wow, she's mentally a teenager.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
She can understand right and wrong.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
When my husband and I went to leave our reception,
she proceeded to scream costs words at us as we
left and flipped us off. Due to her attitude, everyone
decided to leave the reception and go home. My entire
married life, my husband and I have had to be
extremely careful around her with our PDA. We can't even
sit next to each other on the couch without sending
(32:59):
her into an emotional spiral, saying I'm rubbing my husband
in her face to make her miserable. We don't kiss,
hold hands, or sit with each other when she's around
to avoid her spiraling into a freak out. I couldn't
even give my husband a kiss goodbye when he left
for work without it causing her to freak out. Now,
I was diagnosed ADHD and autistic at age twenty seven
(33:19):
and dived deep into research mode on neurodivergent brain. When
my husband and I moved back to my mom's I
really try to help her now understanding how her brain
works and help her be able to be more social
and comfortable with other people. I took her to my
work with me, I gave writing lessons for horseback riding.
I would take her with me to my friend's houses,
even taking her to karaoke nights when she was comfortable.
(33:42):
I never forced her to do anything, but gave her
open invitations to attend these things and encouraged her to
bring her own car so if she felt overwhelmed she
could go home when she was ready. I encouraged her
when she felt down and really try to help her
be more comfortable outside of her room in the outside world,
so that she could start to get things that she
truly desired, like friends, going to events, and having fun
(34:03):
outside of playing video games. Fast forward to what this
post is about. This happened a few months ago, but
I am still getting some pushback from our mother about this.
We were having a fun day with some friends of
my husband's and I that we've known forever at our
place with my mom and sister. We had a bonfire.
We're roasting marshmallows and hot dogs and letting the kids
run and play. Overall, a very fun day. At one point,
(34:24):
it was just me and my friend Joy sitting by
the fire pit, chatting about x'es and basically saying how
lucky we are to be with the men we have now. Apparently,
my sister was in her room overlooking us at the
fire and evesdropping on the entire conversation. Then Joy went
inside to get another drink and saw my sister and
asked her, Hey, Tina, what's going on in a friendly tone.
(34:45):
My sister went off on her, telling my friend that
she despises me as a person and that I'm a
witch and she wants to physically harm me because everything
I have done in my life has been out of
pure spite of her and to emotionally hurt her on purpose.
My friend knows my sister very well and reassured her
that none if that's true. As kindly as possible, Joy
(35:05):
came out and told me about what had just happened,
which is not the first time she's been in a
spiral and blame me for everything, and usually I just
brush it off, but that night I couldn't sleep and
it truly hurt me that she would say those things
about me. Again, I think it is absolutely very valid
to be affected by those words. I think that maybe
you know this too.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I'm sure she knows it deep down, and I'm sure
she's been hearing like her whole life.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Boy, it's like it's so hard to hear like that.
You know, you have to excuse that, or you have
to understand that she doesn't mean it, or it's come
you know, and that is so hard to hear. And
still you know, have to receive that like verbal attack
and just brush it off. So I do empathize with
you or sympathize with you. Ope, And I don't want
(35:50):
to say, like just brush it off. I think that
there is like there is a necessity and you can
bring up yeah. Yeah, I still think that, like there
are ways to deal with it and say hey, that's
not okay in a way or in a like mental
age appropriate way, maybe is more effective than just saying
let's brush it off or not even talking to her
about it, you know.
Speaker 5 (36:11):
So we'll talk to her about it.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
The next morning when we all woke up and were
walking around. I can't remember exactly what she did, but
I ended up blowing up on her about what she
said to my friend, telling her that it truly hurt me.
Especially since moving back. I've truly tried to help her
get out into the world and do things she's always
wanted to try, on top of just having a baby.
That same year, told me sorry in an angry tone,
and I could tell she didn't actually mean it, and
(36:34):
I called her out on it. That's when I said,
you complain every day that you want to be an
adult and do everything on your own, and you've done
nothing to change and show that you can be an adult.
You aren't accountable for your own actions. You were given
care from me and never said thank you. Mom pays
all your bills for you and all your groceries, and
you expect to go out into the world and be fine.
(36:55):
When you won't, It's time for you to grow up.
Which is an example of maybe not the most effective.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Maybe a bit of a harsh way of saying, I
get it.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I get it, you break. Yeah, everyone has them, everyone
has them. Is it the most effective thing that's going
to get through to her. No, And now we can take.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
A step back and realize that maybe we're a little harsh.
Speaker 5 (37:13):
Yeah, we can have that conversation and maybe.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Cause why we can afford it. Professionals in all, yeah,
people not to help her and guide her, because when
you're not a professional even you know, though you might
know and have your own lived experience of autism and ADHD,
you don't know your sister's experience. You know, you've seen
it from the outside, but you don't know what she
needs from a professional level. She got mad and stomp
(37:36):
back upstairs to her room, where I could hear her
cursing my existence under her breath the entire time. My
sister is a very dramatic person and has a tendency
to tell lies to get attention. I proceeded to tell
my mom she desperately wants to live a normal adult life,
but she hasn't ever been held accountable for her words
or actions, and I'm done sweeping these utterly evil things
she says under the rug and ignoring them. If she
(37:57):
wants to be an adult, I'm going to treat her
like one and call her out for the things she
says and does, which I think is a failing on
your mom's part. Which, again, you know, it's super hard
to figure out how to parent, you know, a child
that has special needs and stuff, But I think it
is a you know, at the end of the day,
you have had to deal with the parenting failures, or
(38:18):
the parenting at least just lack of understanding of how
to care for this child, and you had to, like
kake the broat to that.
Speaker 5 (38:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
A lot after that, my sister went outside for a walk,
and when she returned, she came up to me with
tears in her eyes and said, I don't expect you
to forgive me for what I said, but if you
could think about it, I would.
Speaker 7 (38:35):
Appreciate it, which show I mean, that's great, this is great.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Which shows that maybe, I mean, I don't know if
you know your approach was the best way, but it
does show that you got through. Yeah, saying hey, I'm
going to be straightforward with you does sometimes work with her.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
Opie could be very right.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Maybe she really just does want to be an adult
and nobody's treating her like one, and she's like, oh
my god. Ope.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
I told her I had I'd already forgiven her and
that I loved her dearly, and the only reason what
she said had bothered me was because I loved her.
After that, my husband and I decided to move out
to another state, still seming close for the well being
of her family because there were a lot of other
issues and things happening between my sister and mom and
my mom and me and my husband and my mom
that left us all on edge. I ended up losing
(39:19):
fifty pounds due to the stress and wow, and we
needed our own space to figure out being parents together
without the added stress or influence of my family. But
there is a little bit left to this story. Any
final thoughts.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Think that moving out of the direct like being so
so close to them is good A stayed away shore
or whatever wherever you want to go. I think that'll
help a lot of it. And I do hope that
like people continue to treat your sister maybe a little
more adult and if that's really what she wants, and
like she can kind of start to experience that more.
Speaker 7 (39:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Absolutely, I think.
Speaker 7 (39:54):
If that's truly what's working, Yeah, talk to your mom
and say, hey, Like she kind of received that very well,
and I think it is only beneficial for her to
have I don't know, just at least consequences.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Or at least the understanding that you hurt somebody too.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
But now ever, since then, when my sister goes into
an emotional spiral, it's all my fault again on how
I hate her and water gone, which is not even
remotely true. Like I said, she has a hard time
separating reality from feeling, and when her emotions take control,
all reality goes out the door. My mother blames me
for that argument we had that day. Even though these
(40:28):
spirals are happening less, but they are more drastic than
they typically are. Even though Tina can't remember to brush
her teeth or shower every day, she seems to think
I don't want her to be alive anymore. She can't
remember the result we had where we held each other
in tears filled with love for one another, but just
the fact that I called her out for the words
she said about me to my dear friend, Am I
the ale? I don't think you're the a hole. I
think you were unequipped to deal.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
I think most people in the story were. I agree.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
I think most people in the story are unequipped to
deal with the extra knee that you're you know, of
your sister. Yeah, and if you can't afford it, calling
it a professional or talking to someone I think would
be incredibly helpful.
Speaker 5 (41:07):
Yeah, for everybody. Everybody should talk to someone.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
But uh, that is the end of that story, we
got another one. Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. Put a quick three minute ad
break from our sponsors that keep the show going.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
I kidnapped my sister's dog. Huh And this comes directly
from the Okay storytime subreddit. And we also have a
trigger warning for animal negligence. Ooh, I twenty four female
kidnapped my sister's thirty four female dog. And now half
my family's calling me the a hole. The other half
is texting me cryptic messages like we always need be
(41:42):
the one to bring balance?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Are you the avatar?
Speaker 2 (41:45):
I swear I'm not on substances. By the way, this
comes from Unhappy Potato eighty three, twenty five. And if
you want to meet your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime subreddit and we're here.
Speaker 5 (41:55):
To give good advice. Goofy.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
But we don't have all the answers.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
We only know what we would do, So let us
know what you would do in the comments. Opie says background,
my sister Emily got into a group. She says, it's
not a cult, it's a bio vibrational collective for cosmic alignment.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
It's not a cult. Looks crazy. It's not a cult.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
It's a bio vibrational collective alignment.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
I messed it up.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Bio vibrational collective for cosmic line.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Wait wait, wait, it's a collective ultimate liaison team.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Okay, see u elt, I'll work on a better rector, sure, Jim.
They live on a compound where all white drink mushroom
tea daily and have weird names like star Daddy, Nol
and moon Drip. That's just a subreddit and Emily now
goes by Echo. It's kind of sick, kind of the cool.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
This is like Warrior Cat subred.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I go by Echo Echo. Now have you seen arcane?
Speaker 2 (42:56):
So a few months ago, she gave away most of
her possess except her Australian shepherd.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I love Australian shepherds.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
His name's Waffles, she said, and I quote Waffles is
my soul bridge in this realm.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (43:11):
I look at that person straight.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
I don't know I could have a relationship with a
person like this.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
He's just my soul bridge, you.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
Know, explained to me what that means.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Kai, Kai's my soul's my cat.
Speaker 6 (43:21):
Guys, just for you're saying words right now, and he's
your soul.
Speaker 5 (43:25):
Bridge reference guys.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Yeah, last week I visited the compound for her solar
shift ceremony. Basically, they danced in silence under a heat
lamp for.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Are you guys lizards for three hours? Is that just
a sauna?
Speaker 2 (43:43):
No?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Sorry, this is hot yoga.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
I noticed Waffles looked off dirty, matted for limping slightly
and eating. Plain tofu off the ground.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
They're feeding this dog. They're making a dog a vegetarian insect.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Get that dog out of there. I freaked out that night.
Speaker 4 (43:58):
I stole Waffle.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Good job.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
I drove back home, took him to a vet and
he's got a minor infection and needed proper food. I
texted Emily a photo and said I had him. She flipped,
said I violated the vibration pack.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
I literally don't. I go lo ol. What the hell
is a vibration packed?
Speaker 3 (44:18):
You see this affection?
Speaker 4 (44:19):
I'm so bridge.
Speaker 6 (44:20):
Yeah, it's falling apart. I'd be like this vibration pack
was ruined when he had an infection.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
There's more, and that Waffles had been mid transition into
an ethereal plane.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
That's actually terrifying because that sounds like she's like the
purpose neglected off the dots.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Yeah. She and three cult members showed up at my
house in robes, chanting outside for two hours until my
neighbor called the cop.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Well why didn't you call the cops? Now?
Speaker 2 (44:49):
My mom was saying I disrespected Emily's spiritual journey and
that Waffles is technically her soul property.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Am I the a hole? Genuinely? If this is a true,
cut those people out of your life immediately, because this
is dangerous and scary.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
This is from our subreddit.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Get out of there.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Well cut them off.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Oh yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Take waffles and really take waffles.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Cut them off.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yeah, we have an update.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
Oh boy.
Speaker 5 (45:14):
Three days later.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Wow, did not expect this to blow up. Waffles is
doing great. Yay, he's on antibiotics and he loves his
new chew toy. As for Emily, things got even weirder.
How I got a certified letter yesterday. It was on
holographic paper, not a joke, and signed by the Council of.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Eight Are these people?
Speaker 2 (45:37):
It said, I have seven days to return the vessel
or they'll initiate vibrational reckoning.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
Is this an episode of Doctor Who?
Speaker 3 (45:45):
I would test you like? I want to know what
that is.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
And then Waffles starts just vibrating and spinning in circles.
Speaker 4 (45:51):
He's like levitating off the.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Ground and he's like, how oh p you have saved
me from my reckoning. Yeah, I got you power, you
get three witches.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
Ope, and you are so rich to me.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
For us, we are connected forever.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Whenever the bridge has been confirmed and connected. Baboo, we
are now spiritually connected.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
My lawyers said it's nonsense but also kind of threatening.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Yeah, that's a threat.
Speaker 6 (46:16):
Many Oh to those people, they don't care what a
lawyer says.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Yeah, no, man, they don't. They don't care about ithe
the words of ithlely beings.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
He wears a suit. Gross.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
I also found out their compound is an Arabian b
they've just been squatting it.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Maybe they're just like really method LARPers.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
I want to see the source material that they're LARPing.
Oh yeah, the actual owner showed up and guess what,
he's now also in the group.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
I can't make this up. I hope you're not, because
this is.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Insane, this is trippy, this is really cool.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
This is insane, And guys, we have another update one
week later.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Oh my god get into it, okay, please. Apparently Emily
and Co.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Tried to astrally project into my home to get lawfuls back.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
I'd be like, break it to your house.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
No, that's in the dream realm.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Yeah, I know, I know what huh?
Speaker 1 (47:06):
Were they gonna like steal his soul?
Speaker 2 (47:08):
I think they were gonna actually project in and galofless
unlock the door.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
It's like that scene and the Caribbean when they're like
like have like trying to get a bone to get
the keys from the dog, but it's like them with
an astral bone and the dogs like that's not even
a real bone.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
All that happened was my Alexa started playing pan flute
music at three am?
Speaker 1 (47:29):
Why weird? Really weird?
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Though? Why is that really weird?
Speaker 1 (47:35):
I'd be so freaked out if they said I'm astral
projecting into your house to steal my dog and then
pan flute music started playing. If one, make sure your
alex is not connected?
Speaker 2 (47:44):
Yeah, ones, because they can be, and then you can
like make things play on them. If not, though, weird, baby,
their is leg I'm like.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Loki Loki, I'm joining the colt lokey mean woffles. We're
gonna be testing something like Loki and Wobble have a
soul connection and we're starting your uncle.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
I've officially filed a restraining water. Emily left me a
voicemail crying, saying I've fractured her cosmic timeline.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
I love her, but she needs help.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Yeah. Also that says that Waffles may have been microdose
with psychedelic substances.
Speaker 5 (48:19):
Via his tofu.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
Oh my god, so animal cruelty charges may be incoming.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Please do that.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
There is just a little tanny bit left.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Oh boy, let's hit it. I have no advice for
you other than cut these people out of your life
and file charges.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
And look into the pan flute music, and look into
the pan flue music.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Why did that happen?
Speaker 2 (48:37):
To make sure your Alex is not connected to anyone.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
You've been having weird dreams.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Yeah, what's happening in your dream?
Speaker 3 (48:42):
What's happening in your house?
Speaker 2 (48:43):
Those Waffles feeling at three am? Is he vibrating and
levitating in a circle off the ground?
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Does he go molder? Please?
Speaker 2 (48:53):
You must finish the sole connection with me at tudoy.
Now Emily has left the ground I was expecting. Turns
out Sta Daddy was arrested for tax fraud.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Classic Colt Vibes.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
And moon Drip was actually named Steve. An had a
warrant out in Idaho. She's back home, detoxing from the
substances and agreed Waffles should stay with me until she's stable.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
She's also apologizing a lot. She said she realized things
got out of hand when she saw her robe bill
was three hundred dollars. She's starting therapy.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Thank you read it.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
Waffles and I are safe, happy, and substance free.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Great. That was insane. That was an insane story.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
I did not expect that to resolve.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
So lovely turn twistens turns everywhere and a great resolution. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Can we still inquire about pan flute?
Speaker 1 (49:44):
I need to know because we glossed over that. We
glossed over the fact that it kind of worked. We're
not going to gloss over comments from the video. My
husband refused to play Barbie Dolls with our son, which
I remember. I remember this Posted November tw third, twenty
twenty five. Tildarres Opi is a very anxious, introverted mom
who struggles to let her eighteen year old daughter have
(50:06):
a social life. And this is the third story from
that episode. She keeps strict rules, lectures her, and tries
to control her, which has pushed her daughter away. Her
older daughter stayed more compliant, but the younger one is
growing independent and assertive. Opie realizes she messed up and
is trying to understand why her kids act so differently,
but her attempts at control may have caused lasting damage.
(50:27):
If you're curious to know the full story, you can
go watch the full video.
Speaker 6 (50:31):
Yes, that was what our special guest daniel Ahern a
very good therapist and very very cool tattoos.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
There is a similar story then.
Speaker 6 (50:38):
Comment number one by willow Fire. Willow Fire says, as
a parent, the best way to keep your children safe
is to educate them, Expose them to the world, give
them coping mechanisms, and teach them how to protect themselves
and have a good time responsibly. Both mine are now adults.
They still come to me with all their problems and
tell me things that most people would feel uncomfortable with
(50:59):
discus with their own parents. That's because I talk to them,
give my best advice, and send them on their way.
I'm super proud of them both. I'm not always a
big fan of the choices they make. They're not perfect,
but then neither am I. Actually I need to correct that.
In my eyes, they are perfect.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
Now.
Speaker 6 (51:15):
I love them unconditionally, but I don't always agree with
their choices. However, I was young once, and goodness knows,
I've made some crappy decisions in my day.
Speaker 3 (51:23):
Lol.
Speaker 6 (51:24):
Not saying I'm a perfect mom, but in this aspect,
I am reaping the rewards. So in that aspect, I
think I did well.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Ah, yeah, I think that's a point. Great. You just
have to let your kids like make their own mistakes
at a certain point guarded life experience. You can advise
them up until a certain point, yeah, and then you
just kind of have to hope that they've learned from
what you've taught them.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
And when I say guarded, I only mean in the
sense of like a very dangerous situation.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
Absolutely, you can let them make the other.
Speaker 6 (51:51):
Yeah, And I've met a lot of people who were
so sheltered that it made them want to do more CRS.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Absolutely, people people want a yeah, they want to rebel.
Speaker 6 (52:01):
There's a there's a perfect balance. And I think that
that commentary did really well. But again, that's it's you.
You guide your children not or some or put them
on their path. It's like it's their path, they'll figure
it out, but.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
No one knows how to parent.
Speaker 6 (52:13):
You know perfectly, there's books in everything, and you'd research it,
but it's like.
Speaker 1 (52:17):
You never know how your child's going to react to
that exactly.
Speaker 6 (52:19):
You know, it's it's tough Hannah Joan or Hannah Joanne
either or it sounds like Opie's mom has agoraphobia, basically
the fear of anything outside of your world.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
It does sound like that in that story.
Speaker 6 (52:29):
I remember, Yeah, we all remember, like whoa, there's an
influencer who has suffered from it to the point she
didn't live her leave her house for a long while.
She was recently talking about how she has developed it
with her phone now where she gets scared of seeing
or hearing something bad, so she hasn't been on it
or even responded to people near as much.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
Dang.
Speaker 6 (52:47):
I can personally relate to both Opie's mom and said influencer,
but I know that it's not a healthy or realistic lifestyle,
especially with a child. Yeah, our personal problems and triggers
are not for others to fix or commodate to.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
You have to learn to overcome the traumas that you've
experienced for the safer kids.
Speaker 6 (53:04):
Yeah, I think it's also just like a not a
leap of faith, but it's like you gotta put more
faith in them.
Speaker 1 (53:09):
Yeah, you do. You have to trust your children to learn.
Speaker 6 (53:12):
And I know the world is scary, but you can't
just hide them from the world.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (53:16):
And we have another comment here by Amber Apathy six.
Amber says, as someone with the mother who tried to
keep me at home with her, that woman is trying
to control everything. She doesn't like the way her daughter
is acting because she isn't sitting down and allowing her
mother to dictate everything she does. The one good thing
she did was realize this was her fault. I agree
(53:36):
egh V three X. I love the psychologists episodes great. Yeah,
we love them too.
Speaker 5 (53:43):
We like them.
Speaker 6 (53:43):
I truly feel like they give great advice and I'm
starting to learn a lot. Keep up the great work, y'all.
Speaker 3 (53:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (53:49):
Yeah he was really chill.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
He was awesome.
Speaker 6 (53:50):
Yeah, I liked him really chill guy.
Speaker 3 (53:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
That is the end of those comments and the end
of this episode. So if you love us, make sure
to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
We love you and see you tomorrow,
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