I REVOKED my mother-in-law’s baby monitor access… because of her comments! -r/charlottedobreyoutube | Reddit Stories | EP2315 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story
Time podcast host. Oh yeah, and we got some great
stories coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
But before that, we get a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep the show propped up like
a little house.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Oh you.

Speaker 4 (00:13):
I revoked my mother in law's baby monitor access because
of her comments.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
She was like, was she whispering dastardly things in the
baby monitor?

Speaker 4 (00:22):
I thirty two female, have a three month old baby
with my husband at thirty one male. His mom lives
across the country. We're on the East Coast and she's
in California. And to be honest, she's always been a
little intense, not a full blown monster in law, but
definitely more involved than I'm used to like. She's the
kind of woman who will call to say that she
saw a cuter outfit for the baby than the one

(00:43):
that I posted on Instagram. By the way, this comes
from a Valuable Kitchen forty three seventy seven on the
Charlotte Dober YouTube subreddit. And if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime supbreddit.
And I'm Angie, I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and Opie says. Anyway,
when our baby was born, my mother in law asked
if she could have access to the baby monitor so
that she could see her grandchild grow up from afar.

(01:06):
I was a little iffy on it, but my husband
thought it would be sweet and would help her feel
more connected since she can't visit often, so I agreed.
We have a nanit camera in the nursery which lets
you view the video feed from anywhere. What I didn't
realize is that she'd be watching us all the time, like,
not just the baby sleeping, She'd comments on things that

(01:27):
she has no business even noticing, like the other day
I was a front airbag feeding in the nursery, wearing
a robe because it's more comfortable, and a few hours
later she texted my husband saying, tell op I'd be
happy to send her a nicer robe. That red one's
looking a little raggedy.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Stop it.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
That's weird. That's weird.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
You stop quit it. Eye in the sky, eagle Eye.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
You're being the movie Eagle Eye with Shia Labuff right now.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah, quit it.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
So now when I go to front airbag feed my baby,
I have to watch for being watched.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Access provoked, immediately come on, Well, I'm actually I give
one warning, ye say, and then I as soon as
it happens the inevitable second time, it's.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Got off absolutely like, what excuse me? I was so
creeped out. I mean that was clearly during a private moment,
not just the baby napping. I told my husband and
he kind of just shrugged it off. He said something like,
she doesn't mean anything by it, She's just observant. I
grew up like that. We never had real privacy in
the house. Okay, but we're not kids anymore and she's

(02:32):
not even here. She also makes a weird little passive
aggressive comments, like if the baby cries for a while,
she'll text things like poor little guy. Someone must have
been tired today, or I would have picked him up sooner.
But you're the mama, which feels like she's judging me
but trying to play it off as casual. And she
always acts like she's just trying to help, but it's
in a way that makes me feel like I'm constantly

(02:55):
being watched and judged. It's not me and it's just
kind of boundary pushing. So I change she's settings on
the camera so she can't access an it anymore. I
didn't announce it. I just did it. She texted my
husband asking if something was wrong with her app and
now he's mad at me for making it a thing.
He says it was harmless, and now she feels cut
off and I could have just told her instead of

(03:15):
going behind Number one's back. I told him I didn't
think I needed permission to stop someone from watching me
in my own house, and he says I overreacted. I
feel like I'm losing my mind a little bit because
to me, this is a huge privacy issue. But maybe
I'm being dramatic. I just don't want someone literally across
the country watching me front airbag feed and make comments
on my clothes and parenting. So am I the a

(03:38):
hole comment? Number one says, not the a hole. Tell
him you'll set up the nannycam in his office slash
man cave and his mom can watch him solve both
of their problems.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Your parenting is between you and him. She is not
a third parent, and it's high time that she was
reminded of that comment. Number two says, revoke baby monitor
privileges immediately, and a rain the dad and baby to
have video calls instead. How my number three says, not
the a hole. That's invasive and creepy. I would feel
incredibly violated if someone was always watching and making comments

(04:09):
like that. If you are at all interested in compromise
full disclosure, I would not be. Maybe you can agree
to turn it on at specific times so she can visit,
like nap time or playtime.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, for these specific instances, we have given you access
to the.

Speaker 4 (04:24):
Camera, right, not just twenty four seven. Someone else responds,
she should ask the husband how he would feel if
she sets up the camera in his room so mommy
can have access to his private moments and make comments
about him when he's half unclosed. When he says that,
it's not the same, and he will ask him how
it's okay for his creepy mother to watch her in
a private moment versus him. Just because there's also a

(04:46):
baby in the room doesn't make it any less weird
that she can spy on them whenever she wants. And
we do have an update, but yeah, I agree that
that's just a lot dude.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, strictly controlled access to the baby cam from now on.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
Yeah, definitely the fact that he was also she was
also just like, oh, I would have done that differently,
but whatever you're at the mom it's like, girl, I
don't even know you were here with us. Girl, Like
that should be enough to just be like, okay.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Why yeah, sorry for the fly on the wall right
the eye in the sky.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
You know we do with flies.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
We swat him, squatter, say, officer, don't don't call the
swat team, but uh.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
There is an updates. So, after my husband and I
cooled off from our little blow up, we ended up
having a long heart to heart. I showed him some
of the comments people left on my original Reddit post.
A lot of you pointed out how creepy and inappropriate
it was for someone to have twenty four to seven
feet into our nursery, especially since she was commenting on
me and not just the baby. He read through them

(05:45):
quietly and didn't say much at first, but I could
tell it was sinking in that even random strangers saw
how weird his mother's behavior was. That led him to
open up about his childhood more than he ever has before.
He told me that he grew up in a house
with basically zero privacy, which I was aware of, but
then he started telling me a few stories. He said
that there were no doors on any of the kid's
bedrooms or bathroom.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Why would you ever want to emulate that childhood?

Speaker 1 (06:11):
You're like, I didn't grow up with any privacy. It's
like you can now choose to change that.

Speaker 4 (06:16):
Yeah, guy, because he probably just accepted it as like
a way to cope. But maybe let's, you know, once
we're out of there and be like, yeah, that was
pretty epped up, and I can be mad about it,
and that's allowed.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
I give you the gift of free will.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
He said. The only door in the house that was
ever closed was his parents' bedroom door. His mom would
walk in on him, constantly read his texts out loud
to the rest of the family as a teen, comment
on what he wore, even stand outside the bathroom sometimes
if he was quote taking too long. He admitted that
he's so used to that level of involvement that he

(06:49):
never really recognized how invasive it was. He even laughed
telling one story about how when he was at fourteen,
his mom replaced his jeans because he thought the wash
was too faded, and she would check his laundry to
make sure that she liked what he was wearing. But
I asked him to imagine our son growing up with
no bedroom door, no privacy, and his mom watching him
on camera from across the country. Something finally clicked. He said, Wow,

(07:14):
I guess that is weird.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
It is a really good like showcase of like when
you when you grow up in a weird environment, you
don't understand that it's weird. Yeah, yeah, if you don't
have a frame of reference for what's more normal.

Speaker 4 (07:29):
Right, That would be the kind of thing where like
if if like a kid says something about that, like
telling some sort of stories something at that and like, oh, yeah,
like I slay my doors and I got in trouble
and then op or this guy is just like, yeah,
I couldn't slay my doors because we're not allowed to
have doors on our bedrooms or bathrooms. The teacher would
be like, oh, oh okay, interesting, tell me more. You

(07:53):
know that kind of I explained that, while I know
his mom doesn't mean harm, her constant moment terry makes
me feel like I can't be the mom that I
want to be. That I don't want to raise our
child in an environment where someone is always watching and
second guessing me, even if it's done under the guise
of helping. To his credit, he listened, He really listened.

(08:14):
He told me that he hadn't realized how uncomfortable it
made me, and then he understood why I shut off
her access. He even admitted that it was unfair to
expect me to run my choices as a parent passed
his mom first. We ended up agreeing on some boundaries.
She won't have live access again period. If she wants
to see the baby, we'll send photos and videos on
our own terms. If she has suggestions, she can share

(08:37):
them with both of us respectfully, instead of commenting like
a live sports announcer. He also promised to back me
up next time she pushes a boundary instead of brushing
it off. So for now things are better. I know
this won't magically solve everything with my mother in law,
but I feel like my husband and I are finally
on the same page, and that was honestly the bigger issue.
There is a little bit more to the story. But

(08:59):
these are great bound hubbies on our side.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
I like these. We have helped him see the light, yes,
finally have.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
But there is a little bit more true the story.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Story.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
How so, we do have some comments. Comment number one says,
what was mother in law's response, I'm so curious, Ope says,
she called my husband crying safe to say she was
blocked for a week as a warning.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
Someone else responds, he's doing good so far. He should
get some help from a therapist to process the childhood
and learn solid skills for setting boundaries, as his parents
didn't teach him these skills. He will start to feel
guilty and off balance as he changes his entire family's
dynamics prepare for mother in law's tantrums, s, gilt trips,
flying monkeys, and all the flabbers to be gasted. He

(09:48):
needs to have support from a professional who is removed
from the family for his sake and yours, so you
aren't stuck as his only support while caring for a newborn.
This is a process. He just opened his eyes something
terrible that was normalized in his life. Really encourage him
to talk to someone who specializes in CPTSD and adult
child of a self absorbed parent. It did me a

(10:12):
world of good. Yeah, that's honestly a good point. I think, like,
you know, even if he realizes now that that's pretty
messed up, I feel like there will be other things
that will come out in the wash that he'll just
like do as a parent because that's what his mom did.
And then later it's like, whoa, what that's not that's
not a fun thing, that's you shouldn't be doing that.
So it'd be good to go to therapy first for

(10:33):
the kid's sake too. True Coming Number two says, did
he not have friends though no friend ever came over
and commented about the doors or anything. Did he not
go to friend's houses where they all had doors? Not
one friend ever asked what the ef is wrong with
his mom? Just wondering hope, He says. Growing up he
did have friends, but nobody could come over, and he

(10:53):
couldn't go over to others houses because his mom was
scared that he would learn disrespect or boundary from other households.
And I'm assuming that they didn't know how his mom
really was till later on in the friendship, because only
during the engagement did his mom start really setting off
alarm belts. For me, that is wild, dude. He wasn't
allowed to have people over or go to other people's house.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, that makes sense because like you, you wouldn't be
exposed to the normal.

Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yeah, but that's wild. So you would like, imagine your
a kid and it's like raining, and it's like, well,
our parents aren't going to take us to hang out
at a coffee shop or something, so we just can't
hang out because it's I don't want to be outside
and I'm not allowed to be in my house with
you or in your house. Yeah, that's insane.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
I refused to let my baby go with my mother
in law because she is over involved a.

Speaker 4 (11:44):
Get your nose out of my business.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
I'm my baby.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
I twenty nine female, am currently pregnant with my first
child with my fiance, thirty male.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
We've been together for five years.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Also, we are Europeans and English is not my mother tongue. Overall,
I've had a good relationship with my mother in law.
She's always been kind to me, but I've also noticed
over time that she will always defend her kids no
matter what. That loyalty is sweet, but sometimes it feels
like it blinds her to reality. And by the way,

(12:17):
this comes from user internal Routine four seven seven seven
on the r slash Charlotte Dobray YouTube subreddit, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay story Time subreddit. I'm Dakota, I'm Angie,
and I'm Riley, and OP says, since I got pregnant,
she's been extremely involved. His whole family has. Actually, my

(12:40):
sister in law organized my baby shower. My brother in
law and sister in law bought most of my nursery furniture,
and everyone is super excited. I really do appreciate their support,
but mother in law specifically has been a little too enthusiastic.
For example, sister in law was in charge of planning
the baby shower and the gender reveal.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
She was the only one who knew the baby's gender.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
The whole thing was supposed to be a surprise for
my fiance and me. Well, mother in law couldn't help herself.
She tried to insert herself into the planning, and she
revealed multiple details ahead of time, completely spoiling the surprise.
Even called sister in law trying to get the baby's
gender out of her beforehand. Then when the gender was revealed,

(13:26):
she immediately walked in front of the camera shouting I
knew it, I told you so, and then spent the
entire party repeating that she had lots of baby name
ideas if we needed help no, thank you. We specifically
told them we didn't want to tell them the name
we chose before baby's burt. Another thing is mother in

(13:46):
law has already bought tons of stuff, clothes, toys, and
even diaper. She even bought a cot bumper for baby's bed,
even though I told her it was dangerous. She tends
to say things like, oh, that's nonfense. When I was pregnant,
we didn't make such a fuss.

Speaker 4 (14:02):
Because you're old, old alert. But I guess i'd be
calling yourself old too, your mom, Yeah, yeah exactly.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
But it's more just like a like, hey, things change,
shut up, yeah, please stop it.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Just like remember they used to have like little cages
they would hang outside of high rise windows that you
were supposed to put your baby in because it got
them fresh air in an urban environment.

Speaker 1 (14:26):
Should we still do that? Mom?

Speaker 2 (14:28):
Mss mother in law, Would you like me to put
my baby in a cage suspended over twenty five stories
so they can get fresh air?

Speaker 4 (14:37):
I don't think so, It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
The same goes for food restriction.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
The twist is all of these things are meant to
stay at her house for when she keeps the baby.
Here's the issue. I don't want my baby going to
her house. Here are my reasons.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
She smokes.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
I used to smoke too, so I'm not judging her.
But she smokes in the house.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Every time we visit.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I wear old clothes and don't wash my hair because
everything reeks afterwards. Oh wow, I don't want my newborn
in that environment.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
WI.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
So you don't want them to get tough.

Speaker 4 (15:07):
You don't want your baby to be a cool, smoking baby.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
You don't want to have a cool, smoking, tough guy baby.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Her home life is unstable.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
My in laws are on the brink of divorcing due
to father in law's drinking habits. I won't go into details,
but I don't want my child around that tension. Her
parenting record isn't super reassuring either. My fiance and his
sister have casually shared stories about how they fell off
beds and changing tables as babies while under their mom's care.

Speaker 4 (15:34):
Oh my gosh, should they remember they've I mean, they've
got the brain damage to prove it.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
At least at least the parents are kind enough to
be like I did, let you fall off of that
changing table a couple times?

Speaker 4 (15:43):
Yeah, a couple times.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
I'm pretty sure, i'd keep that pretty close to the vest.
Was my kid? Yeah, did you ever drop me? I'd
be like, no, no, you need.

Speaker 4 (15:52):
To roll off and I didn't catch you. But I
didn't drop you.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, I didn't drop you. You were just obsessed with
falling down.

Speaker 4 (16:00):
I couldn't stop that.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Accidents happen, but it doesn't inspire a ton of confidence.
I'm planning to stay home with the baby.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
For at least a year.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
I'm taking extended maternity leave, and I plan to front
air bag feet so there's no need for childcare help
right now. I'm not even sure why she's acting like
it's a given that she'll be watching the baby. I
get that she's excited, and I get that she means well,
but I can't help feeling anxious and frustrated about how
pushy she's being. And I'm the one being made to

(16:31):
feel like the bad guy for saying no. So would
I be the a hole for not wanting my baby
to go to her house?

Speaker 1 (16:37):
And we have some comments, but first.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
Oh, definitely not. I mean, you're looking out for your
baby's safety and health with the smoking stuff, and it
is just kind of weird, like I don't know, I mean,
I know people babysit and stuff, but I feel like
if if I were to babysit any of my like
you know, baby nieces or nephews, I would probably go
to their house and not bring the baby back with me.

(17:00):
So it's kind of weird that initially from the start
she was like, yeah, these are all stuff for like newborns,
but but they'll stay at my house for when I
have the newborn over.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Super crazy yeah, where it's just like, I'm getting you
all this stuff, but.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
It's mine, right, It's like, what come on, number one,
blame your pediatrician. She'll be glad to take the heat.
Junior's pediatrician specified that he cannot be exposed cigarette smoke.
Nothing personal. It is a health issue. Thank you for
being so supportive. Not the a hole reply. Mother in
law will just promise not to smoke in the house

(17:34):
while the baby is there. So it's important to stress
that the baby cannot be in a home that is
saturated with nicotine and tobacco. Tuxin's on the walls, ceilings,
on and in the furniture. Furthermore, I wouldn't allow a
smoker to hold my baby. The baby will smell awful
afterwards when I smoked, I never held my brother's baby
for this exact reason. Gently tell your mother in law

(17:57):
this is a good time to quit smoking. What could
be more motive than the love of a grandchild. If
she chooses SIGs over her grandbaby, then that's on her.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Update.

Speaker 4 (18:06):
Let's get right into it.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Baby's arrival, great movie. Our son came a month early.
Labor went well, but because he was premature, we had
to stay in the nick U for two weeks. At
the hospital, visits weren't allowed in the nick you only
my fiance could come. Mother in law got impatient after
a few days and wanted to visit. My fiance explained
the rules, but a nurse had told him that sometimes

(18:29):
visits through a glass window were possible. Mother in law
came with him, and to my surprise, they actually let
both of them in.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
She was overjoyed, respectful, and kept her distance. She did
smell like smoke, though later she texted me to thank
me for letting her visit, even though I didn't really
have a choice. Back home, because he was premature, we
delayed visits and asked people to keep their distance. No
one was allowed to hold him, But of course mother
in law was the exception. On her first visit, she

(18:58):
immediately asked to hold him. My fiance wasn't thrilled, but
didn't manage to say no. When he told her to
be careful, she snapped, I've had three kids.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
I know what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Honestly, her holding the baby makes me so uncomfortable. I
don't even know if it's the smoke, the perfume, the gum,
or all of it, but I can't stand it when
she holds him. Weirdly, I loved seeing my mom and
sister hold him for the first time, but not mother
in law doesn't sound weird to me. She smokes right
before coming, even though we've told her not to.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
Sometimes she forgets to wash her hands, like when she
puts his pacifier back in his mouth right after smoking.
She thinks chewing gum cancels out the smoke, and the
worst of.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
All, she kisses him all over his face.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, my fiance has said something multiple times, but she
just doesn't get it.

Speaker 4 (19:46):
This is where we just don't let her come over.
This is where, hey, girl, we've told you not to,
You've done it. You've you've done even worse things like
freaking smooth in his face with your cigarette breath and
sugar breaths your cigarete. And I'm sorry, I until this
maybe maybe gets a little bit older, like a few
years older. I don't want you. I can't have you

(20:09):
around like this. Yeah, it's not a premature newborn. Yeah,
like come on, come.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
On gross, Yeah, that's I'd just be like, I'd just
be like, first of all, stop kissing the baby on
the face. There's a lot of comments are being like, yeah,
if she smokes your not stop kissing the baby on
the face.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, you get a babysick. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
The babysitting issue, my biggest fear was her insisting on
keeping him at her house. So far, that hasn't happened,
but my fiance did bring it up to her and
she got angry. She said it wasn't fair that she
couldn't babysit at her house just because of her heavy
drinking husband.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Sounds like a good reason to me.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
My fiance told her that maybe she could babysit at
our place instead, which I'm still not thrilled about.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
For now, I've avoided the situation.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Honestly, I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable with her
babysitting while she lives with father in law. Honestly, I
think gross smoker access to the perfect little baby needs
to be limited. Yeah, here's where things stand as of now.
My fiance supports me and understands my concerns, but it's
hard for him since it's his mom. Mother in law

(21:12):
is honestly very sweet to me and texts often, and
I do love her, but she just doesn't respect boundaries
and constantly says, well, back in my day, we.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Didn't make stretch a fresh.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
I haven't set firm boundaries because I'm scared of hurting her.
Being a grandma is one of the things making her
happy right now, and she's in a toxic marriage she
can't lead. I don't want to make her life harder.
But I also feel really uneasy about the smoking, the kisses,
the dismissive attitude towards safety. I'm stuck between not wanting

(21:43):
to hurt her and wanting to protect my baby. And
there are some comments I want to tell your man
that he needs to grow a spine and stop letting
his mom kiss all over your baby's face. The kid
is gonna end up with sores that h rpie's sores
on his face or asthma from being all around her
cigarette smoke. Make it a condition that the next time

(22:04):
she holds the baby, if she kisses it on the face,
she loses baby privileges for at least two weeks. She
made the babysitting thing about fairness to her and not
the baby's safety. That alone is alarming. I hope husband
realizes how bad of a sign that is. The kissing
thing won't stop because there are no consequences to mother
in law for breaking the rule and risking baby's health.

(22:27):
Next visit, do not let baby within kissing distance. And
when she asks why, tell her it's the only way
to keep baby healthy, since she's shown she will kiss
baby if baby is close enough. If she rages over it,
just get her out of there. Comment number three, the
kissing him all over his face would get a hard
new from me. Here in the UK, a nationwide survey

(22:47):
of twenty three hundred new and expectant parents conducted by
the Lullaby Trust found that fifty four percent would let
friends and family kiss their newborn baby, unaware of the
risk of serious infection, because their little baby immune systems
need to develop.

Speaker 4 (23:03):
They're brand new, they're brand new, they're brand new in
the world.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
And honestly, once they kick in bulletproof.

Speaker 4 (23:07):
Bulletproof baby, but song number.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
Two, Honestly, the immune system is so crazy, I could
get into it.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
It doesn't make any sense, how how perfect it is.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Anyway, despite the risk, sixty three percent of new and
expecting parents would feel uneasy asking visitors not to touch
their baby, worried that they would offend someone or hurt
their feelings or be labeled an.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Over protective parent.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
However, the charity warns that young babies have immature immune
systems and are particularly susceptible to infections. Even infections that
cause mild symptoms, such as a common cold in adults
and other children, can be life threatening for babies. Advisors
Jenny Ward, chief executive of the Lullaby trupt the risk
of passing on infections to young babies can be greatly
reduced by following simple hygiene measures. Nevertheless, one in three

(23:53):
new and expectant parents wouldn't ask visitors to wash their
hands before holding their baby.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Ew gross. Opie's mother in law would have a strictly
of rules to adhere too. If I were in her position. Hey,
it's Sam, your og host.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
Here.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (24:07):
My husband fell for his coworker's seduction. He did some
foreign details. My husband, Chris, boarding mail, and I thirty
nine female, live and work at a boarding school. We
are both teachers. Chris is a department head, not the
same department that I work in. As with many boarding schools,
a sizable fraction of the faculty live on campus. Housing

(24:29):
decisions made are largely on the biases of on the
basis of family size, and there is not much of
an appeals process if you don't like your housing. Generally,
the housing is quite nice, so this doesn't happen much.
Our home is attached through to a boy's dormitory, though
I don't think it's super relevant. We have two children,
a daughter at thirteen and son eleven. By the way,

(24:49):
this comes from prep school drama, And if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay Storytime's subbreddag. Yeah do we and I'm Angie and
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, So he says. Anyway, two years ago,
the school hired Grace, twenty four female right out of
college to teach in Chris's department. On paper, she struck

(25:09):
me as a pretty typical privileged college girl, easy major
sorority legacy at her school. Meeting her, she seemed nice
but dim. When we first visited her, she described herself
as a daddy's girl and probably showed us what she
claimed was the first load of groceries she had ever
bought with her own money, and it was maybe twenty
percent yogurt and seventy percent wine.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
Okay, not even yes anymore.

Speaker 4 (25:33):
Almost all of her furnishings were items branded by her university. Whatever, right,
nothing wrong with that. Grace's first year was largely uneventful.
As far as I could tell. She was a competent
teacher from what I've learned, a pretty good athletic coach.
Her major issue was that she seemed to have a
drinking problem. At virtually every faculty gathering, formal or informal,

(25:54):
someone would have to help her home. Oh wow, Chris
was frequently that person, as departments occasionally have gatherings of
their own. Another issue was that she really likes men,
really all men, young, old, married, single.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Redfish, bluefish, one fish, two fish.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
If a man pays attention to her and anyway, she
returns that attention a one hundredfold. This extends to having
poor boundaries with male students. Uh oh, uh oh, that's
the problem. While it never rose to the level of
criminal misconduct, it gave me pause when boys in our
dorm would off handedly tell me about Misgrace sending them
snapchats or taking selfies with them to post on Facebook.

(26:35):
This year, Grace developed an intense attachment to Chris. She
was constantly talking to him, texting him, cornering him at gatherings.
I'm absolutely certain that if Chris showed any interest, she
would sleep with him. I am just as certain that
Chris has no interest in her. We have spoken about
their relationship and he has been completely open and honest,

(26:55):
even going so far as to offer to show me
their texts. As her supervisor, he has to interact with her,
and those interactions are always professional, although Chris's natural palody
is gregarious and friendly. At the end of the year party,
Grace got completely wasted. She was all over several men.
Virtually all of them were coupled or married after they
kept her distance. She approached Chris, demanding that he take

(27:19):
her home, quote before I do something bad. Oh that's
not appropriate. Uh oh, that's what we call inappropriate.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
I think you're doing something bad right now by asking
him to take you home.

Speaker 4 (27:31):
Yeah, what stop it, Chris?

Speaker 1 (27:33):
Why don't you ask uber?

Speaker 4 (27:35):
Chris then conscripted me and another female faculty to get
her home safe. We walked her back to her place,
and that was it. We laughed this off until this
past week when we got a word from our dean
that Grace was going to be moving into the apartment
on the other side of our dorm next year. Brett,
it's I do not want this woman living near us.

(27:55):
She has told my son that she is good friends
with my husband. My oldest will be attending our school
next year and may well be interacting with her on
a daily basis. That alone is more contact than I'm
comfortable with.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
She's she's gonna be like tell me, like, tell me
some more about your dad. Yeah, like Imedian Helmison's though
a while, like what is he like?

Speaker 4 (28:16):
Like, I'm worried that it would be like, oh my gosh,
you look just like your dad.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Yeah, Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (28:20):
It gets weird. Though, oh yeah, that's where my brain goes. Yeah,
but there we're seeing lots of red flags from this girl,
lots of them. I spoke with the dean and was
frank about my concerns, and while sympathetic, his attitude was
largely that personal concerns outside of Grace's performance of her
job could not affect housing decisions. So here we are.
While I love my job, the annoying reality of boarding

(28:43):
school life is that your coworkers are your primary social circle,
and situations that in a normal workplace could be solved
easily become intense and complicated. So what do you think?
Should I just get over it? I repeat again that
I am certain that Chris has no intention of straying
on me with Grace or anyone else. And there are
some comments, but what do you what do you think?

(29:06):
Do you think that she should just get over it?

Speaker 2 (29:08):
I think you need to clearly report this to some
sort of administrative whoever's in charge of inappropriate Well, yeah,
relationships between members of faculty.

Speaker 4 (29:19):
This is some sort of HRS me. She told the dean.
He was basically just like, yeah, I mean, you can't like,
do you know?

Speaker 1 (29:25):
The dean made him made her your neighbor.

Speaker 4 (29:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Now, by the way, I'm moving her, uh right to
the apartment across from yours.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
I don't care what problems you guys have. Is it
just kind of what's going on.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
She's your problem, Yeah problem.

Speaker 4 (29:40):
I don't think you're overreacting. I think that's very weird.
And I think it's good that your husband is aware
and that you trust him, and hopefully there are situations
where he can kind of, you know, put up some
boundaries or you can keep a good eye on the kid.
But we do have some comments. Commentary says, what about
your husband addressing it with her the next time she's inappropriate?

(30:00):
A gentle reminder of keeping it professional could go a
long ways to waking her up that her behavior is
both noticed and inappropriate. We'll see as Grace's away for
seemingly the rest of the summer. I will say that
I don't think Chris has been as assertive as he
could have been in telling her to back off. Face herself.
Doesn't really explicitly cross the line in her sober communication

(30:20):
with him. She just contacts him a lot. He feels
like he's in an awkward place, And yeah, that's correct.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yeah, I mean the whole like, I need to get
out of here before I did something bad? Yeah, like
what ruin your career? Literally try to home wreck your coworker.

Speaker 4 (30:38):
Yeah, because he's also as a reminder, he's the head
of this department that she's working in, So this is
basically her bossing.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah, getting ahead of the you gotta get you gotta
get ahead.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
You gotta get ahead of somebody being like, can I
get ahead?

Speaker 1 (30:53):
Yeah? Yeah, there's only one way to get head like
a head like.

Speaker 4 (30:57):
But we trust him. We trust that he's not gonna
let that happen.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Heads of.

Speaker 4 (31:03):
Someone responds to Opie, Well, I'm not defending her actions
and surprised that she hasn't yet been warned in a
professional setting. I have to assume that this is a
lonely young woman right out of college who doesn't yet
know how to socialize at a work function. I don't
think it's a stretch to assume that she's still trying
to have the fun that she did as a sobriety
as a sorority sister. Do you know of do you

(31:28):
know if she has a social life outside of teaching?
Does your school allow for time off campus? She definitely
needs to chill, and I think someone should definitely nicely
bring it to her attention. I just feel for her.
She seems bored and lonely. Hope he responds, Yes, we
have plenty of free time. This isn't the military. I
do try to have a sympathetic attitude towards Grace, since

(31:49):
I think she still expects that a no strings attached
social life will be provided to her by outside forces,
just like it always has been in school, sports, greek life,
summer camp, et cetera. At the same time, there are
young single faculty her age on this campus, and we
live in an area with a thriving cultural scene, in
a steady population of university students and twenty somethings. I

(32:11):
think her main issue is that she doesn't know how
to socialize without booze, and she doesn't know how to
meet people outside of parties or Tinder. From what I understand,
she has never had a boyfriend, just wasted hookups in
college and we do have an update. But but yeah,
I mean that's very possible. Maybe she just doesn't really
maybe she doesn't understand. Maybe that's just what she's grown

(32:31):
up in but or you know, dealt with in her twenties.
But you know, that's that's a problem that we should fix,
something that you should learn.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
Yeah, it's something you can like be a mentor for. Yeah,
you'd be like, hey, is now you do that?

Speaker 4 (32:43):
Right? Great thing to bring up to her personally, maybe
as friends. But we do have an update. School is
starting back up again and faculty are reconnecting and mingling
after a summer largely spent away from campus. Grace was
a no show. Apparently over the summer she got another
job and moved to a city several hours away. Okay, cool.

Speaker 5 (33:04):
Coincidentally, that's all that we have to talk about in
this update right now, Like we haven't even addressed the
title yet, right right, the second sentence of the update,
nothing bad will happen in future?

Speaker 1 (33:16):
How does he fall for it? Does he trip? Just
do the tip?

Speaker 4 (33:23):
Any? He says good riddance. The apartment down the hall
has been taken by a single middle aged biology teacher
with whom I've always gotten along. Awesome, But there are
a series of events as convoluted as they are boring.
Very long story short. Someone told someone else who told
me I've learned that curs has been and not nearly

(33:45):
as forthcoming about his relationship with Grace, as I thought, oh,
you look at that. Basically, Grace and my husband sloppily
made out at several faculty gathering.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
And nobody said anything.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
Nobody said anything.

Speaker 5 (34:05):
I need a list of names of all the people
that knew about it, and then I'm gonna contact their
significant others and let them know that they knew about
it and didn't say a word.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
Yeah, because then she wasn't even always at those gatherings,
because sometimes it was just their department, like just certain
departments will have their fun gatherings. Sloppily making out in
front of all your coworkers, that is so messy.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
I'm gonna sloppily throw all his crap in the hallway.

Speaker 4 (34:31):
Yeah, find a different dorm. Sorry. If personal things don't
affect dorming, it will today and for the rest of
the year. So he was always intoxicated when it happened,
and it never went beyond there. The same could not
be said for Grace's friend Amy, who's around the same
age as Grace and also teaches in their department. On

(34:53):
one occasion, wasted Amy and Chris sucked face in the
backseat of a car with two other co workers in front.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Wait, what what is this high school?

Speaker 4 (35:03):
It's crazy. These are the teachers that are supposed to
be teaching the college students, not the actual college students. Wow,
this is wild, right, I mean they're in college and
this boording.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
No, this is wow, dude, what a cool university? Would
you do this with your friends? No?

Speaker 4 (35:17):
Okay, this is wild in general, and so it's making
out while while my friends are in the front. Dude,
that's crazy. But if I okay, but listen though, if
I was a student at the school, I would be
eating up this drama. I'd be like, oh my god,
that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Professor Curis was sucking fae bag sheet of a Pontiac Fiera.

Speaker 4 (35:39):
Crazy, dude, they're wild.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
Oh my gosh. Oh wait, this is private school and
not college. Okay, oh wow, that's even better.

Speaker 4 (35:47):
Well, yeah, it's a it's a boarding school, so I
wasn't really sure what the ages are.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Certainly not boring school.

Speaker 4 (35:54):
They then made their way to Grace's apartment, where they
stayed the night. Chris has told me that uh, he
was going to be staying with the buddy of his
so they could go hunting the next morning. Why couldn't
they go back to Amy's place. You ask well, because
at the time Amy was living at the headmaster's house.
She's his granddaughter. Oh, there's a little bit more to

(36:18):
the story. I confronted Chris about this and he came
clean right away.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Okay, that's a good that's actually a good sign.

Speaker 4 (36:25):
He said that he had enjoyed receiving attention from these
younger women and had been attempting to relive his twenties
by partying with them.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
You you, you stop, get out of here. There's other
ways to Will we relive your twenties? I go snowboarding,
riding your bike, there's other things. Do travel.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
Someone else that might want to relive their twenties is
I don't know your wife. Maybe you could do that together.
He said that they reminded him of a younger version
of me.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
All right, I don't I'm not coming back from that one, folks,
that's not that's not happening.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
But babe, I only chose up because they were like
a younger version of you, Like I wanted to relive
my twenties with you. And since you're not twenty any more.
Old old, my god, I think you're old. You can't
I can't do that.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
You're so sweet, the sweet of you. I can't believe
I was sweet you are.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
That's a wild which I can see. Amy, Grace and
I are all skinny, flat chested brunettes with shoulder length hair.
He said that he had been drinking far too much
and losing control of his boundaries. He was, he claimed,
too ashamed to tell me. I want to believe him.
Right now, we're keeping things quiet. Boarding school politics could

(37:36):
make this a very complicated situation, and I'm still debating
whether I want to stay married to Chris. I love him,
and we have two terrific kids to whom we are
good co parents. But I have never known him to
keep things from me, and I'm not sure I can
trust him again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Question mark,
I'm not sure. And there are some comments. Comment number

(37:57):
one says, not only did he betray your marriage his
chronic inability to keep his wiener in his pants, he
endangered your livelihood. Common number two said, although you didn't
explicitly say it, please please do not stay together. Quote
for the kids. Children are perceptive. If you stay with
Chris while he's off philandering, you will teach them that
this sort of behavior is normal in a marriage, and

(38:18):
they all be more willing to accept that. In their
own partners, they won't know where to put their own boundaries,
they won't have as much self respect. So when you're
considering the kids, consider that before making your decision.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
I was uninvited to a wedding after I already spent
five hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Where's my five hundred dollars?

Speaker 3 (38:37):
Man? I, twenty female, was supposed to attend the wedding
of my friend and boyfriend's twenty three male best friend
in a few days. However, I just found out that
I have been uninvited from the wedding entirely. The wedding
is across the country and the plane tickets for it
were over five hundred dollars and non refundable. My parents

(38:58):
bought the ticket as my Christmas gift since I couldn't
afford them, but it was a lot of money even
for them. My boyfriend is a groomsman at this wedding
to a guy who he's been best friends with and
we have been in a friend group with. By the way,
this comes from Rowaway eight seven six two seven six
two eight seven six and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

(39:19):
When my boyfriend asked him what was happening, he said
he didn't know they were going to run out of space,
so they had to get rid of all plus ones.

Speaker 6 (39:27):
And then I was never.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
Actually formally invited, but just as a plus one. On
top of this, both of the people getting married unadded me.

Speaker 6 (39:34):
On all social media.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
What. When my boyfriend asked why, he responded that I
had disrespected My boyfriend disrespected his fiance by talking crap
about her to his the groom sister, and then also
disrespected his sister. The conversation in which he's referring to
was when his sister started to me my boyfriend and
her roommate one day. Everything said was agreed on by

(39:59):
everyone in the way conversation, disrespecting his sister. I have
no idea where this came from. For context, his sister
liked my boyfriend and repeatedly for months this year flirted
with and tried to get close to him in front
of me. Wow, I found what they're doing. They're trying
to get you away at the wedding so she can

(40:19):
flirt with your.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
Boyfriend yikes, big old yikes on a big old bike.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
She started being a massive, cold witch to me out
of nowhere when he cut her off. As far as disrespecting,
my boyfriend goes, I am not perfect and have made
a mistake. The thing the groom is talking about, specifically
was a TikTok I had posted about a celebrity guy
being good looking even though people like to pretend he's
not because of his personality, a conversation I had had

(40:47):
with my boyfriend previously. I deleted the TikTok and apologize.
So all of this started from the sister lying to
the groom. My boyfriend has said he will say something,
but not because I want to.

Speaker 6 (40:58):
I'm doing it for you. That was a slap in.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
The face, as I firmly believe my person would not
only stand up for me, but fully take my side
and not go to the wedding. I told my boyfriend
this and he said he can't just not go because
he's a groomsman. But if we were engaged or married
it would be different.

Speaker 6 (41:14):
We have been dating for over a year.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
My best friend, who knows all these people and was
also friends with all of them previous to all of
this is out of the country for a year, but
I told her what happened. She is furious and things
I even need to break up.

Speaker 6 (41:27):
With my boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
The issue is the tickets for the wedding are also
where my boyfriend's family lives, and I was going to
stay and visit with them for a few days, and
then he has tickets to come visit my family right after.

Speaker 6 (41:39):
I don't know what to do. I am pretty hurt.

Speaker 3 (41:41):
I wanted nothing more than to have a nice holiday
with my family and the man I love. But I
don't know what to do anymore, and it has been
destroying me. It is important to note that I love
my boyfriend and he loves me very much. Aside from
his sleep schedule, our relationship is perfect and he does
a lot for me. He is very kind and non confrontational.
So this whole, the whole situation is driving him in

(42:01):
safe Okay.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
So there it is.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
It's like, the real solution here is he needs to
talk to his best friend one on one on the
phone and be like, what's going on? Why is this happening.
I need to come here with my partner. I want
more than anything to be there for you. But if
I can't bring my partner, it's not going to go
down like that, and he's just really petrified of having
to have that confrontation.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
I think that's what it's reading to me.

Speaker 6 (42:24):
I am not really sure what to do.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
Do I proceed forward and try to enjoy the holidays
not going to the wedding, or do I call everything
off and waste all of the money. I am in
a tough spot and unsure what to do. And we
have an edit to add here's some additional info since
I have heard a lot of incorrect assumptions in the comments.
My initial post was brief because I didn't want it
to be too much info or too long, but I'm

(42:46):
now realizing that was a mistake. I think some clarification
is needed in respect to the sister thing. We were
a long distance over the summer when we were home
from university.

Speaker 6 (42:55):
He lives nowhere near the sister.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
He was only at school two weeks before me, and
in that time she was flirting with him, which he
did not realize or shut down. Over the summer, I
didn't communicate with him much because I had a lot
of things happen in my life, including one of my
best friends taking her own life.

Speaker 6 (43:12):
Because of this, I was very distant and didn't even
call him much.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
I know some people are going to blame me for this,
but I was grieving heavily. This left him worried I
was going to break up with him due to how
distant I was being. Not shutting the sister down to
me was single behavior, and he apologized and made up
for it and cut her off before I even brought
anything up or ass But he had been friends with
her for a while, so it took him a while
to notice. Nobody else knows about this, and sister has

(43:38):
since moved on to obsessing over like ten different guys.

Speaker 6 (43:42):
She just holds a grudge.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
Additionally, we are all religious and there would be no
hooking up involved. The groom would also never want his
sister to date my boyfriend for a few reasons, so
the assumption they're trying to set them up isn't quite right.
I only shared this info to explain what groom was
talking about and why sister was This was also well.

Speaker 6 (44:01):
Before the TikTok fiasco, which of.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
The groom was the only one who was super mad
as my boyfriend doesn't even have TikTok and told my
boyfriend to dump me over. As far as being uninvited,
it was the groom's father who sent out the email
officially uninviting all plus ones unbeknownst to the groom himself,
and it was due to a large number of the
bride's family being in a small venue that wasn't planned for.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
Okay, dude, you back out of this. This is a nonsense.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Also getting crazy is your best friend isn't going to
be like, dump your girlfriend of a year because of
a TikTok she posted about a celebrity.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
That guy is pathetic.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
If he's telling you to dump your girlfriend over that,
I question how close y'all really are.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
This is like a and it sounds like a complete nightmare.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
Luster f like just be like, you know what, with
all the uncertainty that has been thrown at this, I'm
going to back out of the wedding party. I find
it really uncomfortable that you are demanding I break up.
That you demanded I break up with my girlfriend over
a TikTok video.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
I wish you the best.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
The other groomsmen are not bringing their girlfriends for the
people saying how can I say he loves me? I
am disabled. I had a severe sports brain injury that
put me in a coma and had to relearn how
to walk. It has left me legally blind and with
some other things like an inability to read without technological
assistance and no balance, resulting in the fact I cannot

(45:22):
drive or even ride a bike. My boyfriend takes very
good care of me, but I cannot go into great
detail about all of this. Just know that he is
taken care of and done more for me than anyone
else in my life, aside from my parents and best friend.
This friend getting married was a friend of both of
ours until all of this happened, and even introduced me.

Speaker 6 (45:39):
And my boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
All of this is extremely out of character and has
left everyone shocked. Even the groom's cousin and best man is.

Speaker 6 (45:46):
On my side.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
The bride herself is likely behind all of this, as
she always would go out of her way to be
a knucklehead to me and my best friend, although we
were nothing but nice to her. I hope this adds
a little bit of context and to the people saying
they hate me because I seem to love drama, I
hate the drama more than any of you. It came
out of nowhere, and I am unsure of how to proceed,
which is why I wrote in I'm sorry if it's confusing.

(46:09):
I cannot see to edit well and am listening to everything.
We have some comments, comment one can you exchange the
tickets for airline credit to use another time? Usually airlines
allow this, And someone replied, I'm guessing that they are
setting the boyfriend up with someone else at the wedding
and he knows it and is okay with it.

Speaker 6 (46:27):
Comment to wake up.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Ope, they've planned it all along, but suddenly you're the
problem for stating the obvious, not them for their horrible
actions gaslighting one oh one. Give me a break. If
it were me, here's my strategy. Try to get an
airline slash miles credit. If that's not possible, use the
ticket and have fun solo single girl holiday. Let the
boyfriend know why you're breaking up with him, No ultimatums,

(46:51):
move forward. He's not your person. Work on myself and
seek support through this rough patch. The silver lining is
he showed you who he was before you married. That's
a huge blessing. You just don't realize that yet. Totally understandable.
Sorry you're going through this, remember everything is gonna be okay.

Speaker 6 (47:08):
Comment three.

Speaker 3 (47:09):
Your boyfriend doesn't like or respect you enough to stand
up for you unequivocally. His friends don't like you. Your
friends don't seem to like him and his friend. Why
exactly would you stay in a relationship that constantly puts
you around people who hate you.

Speaker 6 (47:22):
There's a part of me.

Speaker 3 (47:23):
That things that OPI might be so concerned over the
fact that, like he helps take care of her, so
like he loves me, Like no one's ever done that
for me. Girl, A ton of people would do that
for you, like you are not too much as a
person to ask for the basic needs of that. So
I don't think that that's a reason to stay if
that's like the reason that you're clinging to, not that

(47:43):
I think that it is, but don't linger.

Speaker 6 (47:45):
On that, I guess.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
But something's fishy, and I think I agree with the
comment that even if it's not the sister, they are
trying to have your boyfriend flirt with someone. I don't
think your boyfriend's in on it.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
But it's like all of the plus ones being canceled
by the step dad, oh because of the by the
bride's dad, by the father in law, but that's why.

Speaker 6 (48:04):
I'm saying, I you this thing about the brides.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
And then it was the boy the best friend was
the one who even set them up in the first place.
So it's like, why are these other people so invested?
It doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
There needs to.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Be that phone call where someone is like, where a
boyfriend is like, this is what needs to happen, or
it's not happening for.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
Us, right, I also needs to happen. Here's Johnyogos Here.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
a quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.
I discovered that I was the other woman while I
was pregnant.

Speaker 6 (48:35):
Oh God, run away.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
When I met the father of my son, I was young,
beautiful and well shaped. I took care of myself, had
a great career, good money, lots of travel, fashion clothes,
lots of friends, and we.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
Hung out a lot.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
I am a twenty eight year old female, single mother
of a two year old. And by the way, this
comes from user abroad a lawn And if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay Storytime Somber, where this story was submitted. I'm I've
been dating my son's dad thirty seven mail for four
years before I got pregnant. We met through a common
friend at a party and slept together the first and night.

(49:10):
I wasn't looking for a relationship and neither was he,
as he told me that he just broke up with
his now ex and mother of his two children that
he lived with because they bought the house together and
doesn't know how to split regarding the children and the fact.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
That his X has multiple sclerosis.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
The fact is that from this one night stand, we
saw each other every single day. We immediately fell in
love so hard life going on. We dated a lot,
went on vacations and weekends going out to eat. He
was at my home every time I was in co location.
Then a huge argument occurred with my roommate and I
had to leave the house. I was out of money,
and he offered to pay with me the rent of

(49:47):
the new house that I rented alone. We had been
dating for about three months at this point. At the
same period, I learned that I had fertility issues and
talked about it with him. He was really understanding, and
I started to ask him what he he wanted to do,
so leaving me helping me to have this child without
being in a real relationship or having this child together.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
He answered that he wanted to have this child.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
With me, and we were focusing on what to do
with his ex and the children, leaving the house and
giving it to her.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
But what about their children like our children.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
The thing is that as his ex was sick, I
was really understanding about the situation, and he slept with
me at night and woke up really early in the
morning in order to go to hers to wake up
his children and get them ready for school. My house
was forty five minutes away from her. Even during weekends,
I pushed him to spend time with his children, and
on my side, I went to my parents four hours
away driving. I visited my parents two weekends a month,

(50:40):
and also during holidays. Plus, I was quite sad for
his ex because I really knew that she had a
really bad disease, and even if it was my man,
I wanted him to support her because of his status
as a father and the fact that they met when
they were fourteen, and she gave up everything for him
and needed help. She had no family. This is what
he told me. Going on in time, we worked as

(51:02):
hard as possible in order to save enough money to
buy a house and stuff for the baby we were
trying to have. I lost four pregnancies and it was awful.
In twenty twenty two, he bought a garage with his partner,
meaning a guy that he was working with, and I
made all the administration papers, bank account legal stuff for
free to help him own a business. Plan was that
once the garage created enough money to pay me to

(51:24):
work with him, I'd be hired and we'd be financially
stable enough to go on our plan. I quit my
job that I made good money from to help him
and build.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
This project together.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
The issue we had was his partner was a forty
year old man who spoke really bad and that didn't
want to do things legally and found every way possible
to make money that he would keep for himself. I
told him, let's call him John, that his partner wouldn't
be a good thing in this company and would cause
him problem, and the argument arrived. We had such a
huge argument that at this moment I broke up because

(51:54):
he was choosing his work partner over me, and all
our efforts were going to be.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Ruined by this guy.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Moreover, his partner let's call him Raymond, was pushing me
out of the project because he knew that I saw
clearly into his game.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
So now we're in twenty twenty three. I have no job.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
It couldn't pay rent anymore because I quit my job
and had no money, so I went back to my parents.
Raymond was so happy about this because he knew he
could play his bad game and make easy money, while
John would be the unique responsible for his acts. In
March twenty twenty three, he drove the four hours to
get me back and try to apologize and make me
come back project. I was fed up with everything, but

(52:30):
I loved him so much that I forgave him. We
slept together once on that nineteenth of March, and guess what,
I got pregnant again. We both decided that I had
to rest as much as possible, so I helped him
with visio calls and stuff. That stayed at my parents
in the countryside in order to have good care and
good air.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
My family was so happy.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Pregnancy was harsh, but John came often to visit me
and come to the appointments. At four months pregnant, the
doctor told us that it was a good one and that.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
There was no more worries to have. We were going
to have this baby.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
At six months of pregnancy, I told him that he
had to go to the city hall to declare in
advance that he was the father of the child. Meanwhile,
I was quite upset because he didn't look really concerned
about hurrying to find a house for me and the
baby to come back after the birth, and the worst
for me occurred. He told me he didn't want to
be legally our son's dad. I totally lost my mind
and blocked him everywhere good ride as much as I could.

(53:24):
I thought about it so much that I was beginning
to think there was something connected to his ex. So
I called him and asked him to come to speak
face to face. He came, and I told him I'm
suspicious about you and your ex, and I'm going to
search what the heck is going on. So if you
have something to tell me, say it right now and
we'll go through it together.

Speaker 1 (53:41):
He answers, I have nothing to tell, but don't do that,
so he left right away.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
I tried to find this lady let's call her Melissa
on social media, and after hours I found her. Then
I asked her on messenger if she was John's wife,
and she told me yeah, and who the f are you?
I answered that I unfortunately his second wife, and that
I was carrying his son right now. We were both devastated.
We talked all day, and she told me that she

(54:06):
would talk to me. I explained to her that I
was so sorry and knew about her existence, but thought
that she was in a wheelchair and that they were
not together anymore, and even pushed him to care about her.
I even added that I understand how she felt betrayed
as myself, and that if she wanted to keep him,
I wouldn't be a shadow in their painting. I just
wanted him to assume his child support and maybe try
to see his son, and that we'd be in touch

(54:28):
for whatever she wanted. But I discovered that on one
side she told me that he gave me up with
the baby and doesn't want to know anything about us,
and then on the other side, he told me that
she threatened him that if he sees me again or
the baby, she'll take their children and he will never
see them again. I was so shocked that I just
blocked them both and gave birth alone to my son.
Low key, Probably the best thing you could have done.

(54:51):
I mean, like you should still like prosecute if you
need to to get child support. I don't know if
I don't, is he can he just like deny like
parental rights.

Speaker 6 (55:01):
Harder because he wasn't on the birth certificate. But I'm
sure there's.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
Something that you could do there with DNA, I don't
think he can get out of child payment.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
One year later, July twenty twenty four, John tried to
contact me, apologized, saw his son, and asked me to
have an affair with him, as he couldn't break up
because of his children. I refused, but kept in touch
only in order to give him news about our son.
But fool that I am, I realized that even if
I hated him so much, I still loved him. I

(55:32):
kept my distance and continued to keep in touch only
for the baby. Meanwhile, he every day told me how
he missed me, how he was unhappy without me, and
how he.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Was stuck in this situation.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
He eventually told me that when we met, he was
really separated from Melissa, but as our relationship grew, he
was happier, funnier, and it improved his behavior. So Melissa
wanted to try again and this is probably a lie,
and that's why he was trapped. He wanted to keep
his life as it was, also because his mother was
aware of the situation and forced him to stay with
Melissa that she loved as her own daughter and ignore me.

(56:04):
He tries to do all of his best to be
able to break up with Melissa and come back with me,
but he doesn't want to be a piece of crap
if he gives her up with her disease and the children.
Melissa even told him that it got worse and worse
because of the stress she had when she knew about
his double life. Now I'm absolutely fed up with everything,
even if when I see him, I am not strong
enough to push him back and sleep with him. I

(56:25):
really don't know why I still love him so much
and why I cannot go on alone. I hate myself
for that, but at the same time, I want so
bad for John to come back and give his dad
to my son. So I decided to leave the country
with my child and go back to live on the island.
I am natively from once I announced that he proposed
to me and told me that it was just a
matter of time that soon she won't be strong enough

(56:47):
to do anything she threatened, and to take his children.
Even if he doesn't want that to go that way,
he knows that he could give her good child support
and give her the house and give her money to
pay people to take care of her, and then we'll
be free to be together. He loves them so bad
that on one hand, I kind of understand why he
did all this, and I want to wait for him.

(57:08):
On the other hand, I remember that he let me
have this child alone.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
He betrayed me.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
He used my skills for free for his company, never
gave me child support, and completely broke me. I had
a lot of health issues because of the sea section
that went bad in the fact that I had no
rest as a single mom. I even had surgery two
weeks ago to try and fix the bad sea section.
I never slept since nineteen months and did all by
myself with no time, a baby, and no money. I

(57:37):
lost trust in myself. I hate my body right now.
I'm afraid about any new relationship, whatever it is, if
it's for love or just friendship. I just stay at home,
take care of my baby, and see my parents and siblings.
My wisdom tells me that I should go on in
my decision and leave the country with my baby and
start a fresh new life. Even if I would be alone,

(57:58):
I won't be anymore in a top relationship and will
only live for my son, take care of us and
our mental health. Except now the double life I discovered.
Everything had been perfect between us. We would laugh, we
would have despice to sleep, we would talk, We understood
each other. But my heart screams at me to wait
for him, to wait for him to come back and
get me back.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Wait for him, but don't help him.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
If he really wants me, he'll have to buy a
ticket and come to tell me in front of me,
and never give me up again. Please don't judge me.
Just tell me what you would have done if you
were me. Give me some advice. Do not underdo that
any don't do that any circumstances.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
Wait for this man.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
If he comes back to your island where you live,
you say, buy yeah, youted.

Speaker 6 (58:40):
Your money on a ticket behind, serve.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
Him the paperwork that's like this. By the way, this
is your child support stuff. I'm subpoenaing you for child support. Now,
that is the only thing you should be waiting for.
From this guy.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Yeah pay

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I REVOKED my mother-in-law’s baby monitor access… because of her comments! -r/charlottedobreyoutube | Reddit Stories | EP2315