I think my DNA test results are wrong…it says my parents aren’t my parents! | Reddit Stories | EP2133 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is cole Minor, John, this is coal Minor Sale.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
And we have been digging for stories on the Okay
Storytime podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
As long as we can remember, saying, and we've found
some diamonds of the rough, How don't we? John? That's right?

Speaker 2 (00:10):
But before we do that, we have to wade through
two more minutes of incredible ads from our sponsors keeping
us finding more great stories on the show.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
I think my DNA test results are wrong. They say
my parents aren't my parents.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Sounds like a lot of signs you got to figure
out there.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
And it's I'm Not Your Father Week on Okay Storytime,
where we're diving into jaw dropping paternity twists and family
confessions that I'll have you asking is this really my dad?
But let's dive into this one. I think there may
have been some mistake with my DNA processing somehow. I've
recently done one of the tests and got my results back,
but I don't recognize any of these people.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Ooh, buddy, new faces.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
I'm nineteen and it says I have two children, which
is impossible. I've only ever had spicy sleep with one
woman and she never got pregnant. And it says I
have two cousins there, and neither of them are my cousins.
I feel really confused, and I'm not sure how to
contact ancestry so they can look into it into how
I got someone else's DNA matches. By the way, this

(01:11):
comes from Conscious Olive seventy fifty four and if you
want to spend your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay, storytime, separate it. Dog Chick says those are
parental matches. Oh wait, because they shared a picture of
the matches. Oh so I guess this commentary is replying
to a picture of these matches and says these are
the parental matches, not Opie's kids. Wait, so he's adopted. Yeah,

(01:33):
you should talk to your parents. Sounds as though you're adopted.
Awkward Bees says could also be a double donor conceived. Unfortunately,
a lot of recipient parents don't plan to ever tell
their donor children of the truth of their conception. Unfortunately
for them, DNA testing is now super popular and relatively cheap,
so their kids are finding out. Ten Huma Duvida says

(01:56):
this must be very confusing and stressful for you. Keep
us updated, op take screenshots of all your matches. And
any public trees in case they start going anonymous in
the future. I do think there is a chance your
two parental matches took their test in hopes they might
find you one day. Have you contacted any of your matches?
Opie says no, I haven't contacted any of them because

(02:17):
I thought they were wrong. I feel really deeply in shock,
and I genuinely don't know what I should do. I
just don't understand the reasoning behind not telling your like
adult child's just kind of at any point during their
life that they're adopted. Ten Uma Davida says, hugs, I
can only imagine I would probably have to take a

(02:38):
deep breath or one hundred myself if this happened to me.
Is this something you'd feel comfortable asking your parents and
family about, like adoption in vitro, any other combo that
might explain why you would not be genetically linked to
the people you know as your family. Opie says, I
don't know. I just don't understand it at all. I'm
going to go to my friend's house. I feel really weird.

(03:00):
Command Alternative ten says, this is big news. Be gentle
with yourself. It's going to take a while for you
to process, and yes, you will probably feel really weird
for a bit. Maleficent Theory eight one to eight says,
take a deep breath. Do your parents know you got
an ancestry kit? As a parent, the CM levels are
what I match my children at. I also match my

(03:20):
own biofather at that CM level. The two people are
your bioparents. I would get a trial membership so you
can see matches by a maternal and paternal side screenshot
everything see if any of the higher matches have a
family treat it may not be linked yet. As an adoptee,
I had people hide the results from me when my
results hit the database. Once you have an information screenshot,

(03:42):
you need to talk to your parents. Let them know
you did an ancestry test to see your ethnicity and
got strange results.

Speaker 5 (03:50):
Yeah, because now, as like this kid, you have to
worry about the input of four people. Yeah, your parents
and then your new pay parents, your bio parents.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yeah exactly.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
How is everyone to get to react to you finding
out this information? Op says No, they don't know. They've
always said that DNA tests are evil and will sell
your DNA to the government. I wonder why they said
that was it because they actually thought that or because
they were hiding something. There is an update seven days later.

(04:23):
But I got thoughts, and I'm assuming you got thoughts, Riley.

Speaker 6 (04:26):
I do.

Speaker 5 (04:27):
I do think there is something up with the whole
DNA twenty three and meters.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Oh, you're just talking about the government stealing your data collection.

Speaker 5 (04:36):
People make millions off of it, so be careful with
what you're putting out there.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
I guess that's for op.

Speaker 4 (04:40):
What was your point?

Speaker 3 (04:41):
My point was more related to the story. I think
you have to go talk to your parents. I think
the other comments are saying, you know, take screenshots and
everything are right, But yeah, go talk to your parents
and say, hey, why did you feel the need to
hide this from me for nineteen years? Update seven days later,
Hello everyone. A lot of people have been reaching out
to me after my last post, so I thought it
it would be easier if I just made one post

(05:02):
here giving an update, rather than multiple comments responding to individuals.
It's been a really long week for me. This has
been the hardest time of my life, and I know
that just sounds stupid, but everything has really changed for me.
I've had maybe two hours of sleep each night. I
feel like I'm really struggling. I don't want to sound
like I'm whining, but I just feel so shaken by

(05:23):
everything that's happened. I still can't believe that my parents
aren't my real parents. You all susted out quick that
I was reading the results wrong. JE and DP weren't
my children. They're my biological parents. That feels not good
to say, and I feel bad about that. I have
never felt different from my parents. Always thought I looked
like my dad. I look back through my life and

(05:45):
it just seems unreal. DP is my biological father, JE
is my biological mother. My parents equal my adoptive parents,
real quick? Yes?

Speaker 4 (05:55):
Should we give these people's names or should we go
by this? Oh to keep track of it?

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Sure we can. I think that they haven't learned the
name yet.

Speaker 4 (06:04):
Okay, Oh, maybe they have.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Let's give a David and Jessica.

Speaker 5 (06:08):
Okay, So David and Jessica are.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
The bioparents bioparents and the adopted parents.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
We don't know that.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
We're probably gonna get to that.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
I know I should have gone to my parents first.
I should have given them a chance to be honest
with me, But I reached out to both David and
Jessica first. Instead. I was pretty simple with my message, Hey,
not sure what's going on here. It says that we're
matched as parent and child. Do you know why David
got back to me literally within minutes. I mean, if
he's getting back to you that fast, that means he

(06:36):
took the DNA test to find you. He said he
was so happy I decided to reach out, and that
he wasn't going to message me first in case I
didn't want him to. He said he was going to
contact Jessica and tell her I'm on ancestry. If I
was okay with that, I just asked if we could
slow down. I said I didn't know what was happening
because I always believe the people who raised me were
my parents. He said, my parents' names didn't tell you.

(07:00):
He asked if we could speak over the phone after that.

Speaker 4 (07:02):
Ooh.

Speaker 5 (07:03):
Should he have talked to his adoptive parents first, of
the bioparents first.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
I feel like if he talked to the adoptive parents,
they would have tried to hide things and you know,
told him not to talk to his bioparents. I feel
like they would have made up a bunch of lies
about the bioparents. They would have been like, oh, the
substance users, and that's why they got rid of you.
And we never wanted you to know. I'm just putting
things on them, but I feel like the fact that
they lied for nineteen years.

Speaker 5 (07:27):
And didn't own up to it at all.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
He called me, and he explained a lot. When I
was born, he was only fifteen years old. Jessica was
also the same age.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
He said they wanted to keep me, but both their
families convinced them I would be better off being adopted.
They were living in a small village and wanted everything
kept as low as possible. My parents were family friends
of Jessica's parents, and they offered to take me. It
was agreed between everyone, and when I was born, I
was just handed over. I feel numb writing this. He
said that he and Jessica wanted to contact me, but

(08:00):
we're told that it was better to just leave me.
They said it was agreed I would be raised knowing
I was adopted, and eventually, after every one of their
families told them, they agreed that there would be no
contact until I was eighteen, and that when I turned
eighteen I was to be given the full story of
what happened and given a way to contact them. So
already we know that the parents did not fulfill their

(08:23):
sad they're a side because OPI was supposed to know
that they were adopted kind of the whole time.

Speaker 5 (08:27):
Imagine being fifteen, Yeah, willing to raise a kid, Yeah,
them being stripped away from you, and being told one
day you.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Can contact them again, and then you.

Speaker 5 (08:38):
Just sit there and wait. Yeah, with that burden. Oh
my gosh.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Every month, my parents were meant to send a letter
to Jessica's parents about me, just keeping them updated, and
for a while they did, but pretty soon it stopped.
When they asked about me, they were just told to
move on and leave it by their families. So they
suspected that something may have been off, but they didn't
think I was never going to be told I was
adopted at all. He said. When ancestry came out, they

(09:03):
both decided to do it just in case I couldn't
get in contact with them any other way. He told
me a lot more, but honestly, I feel drained just
typing that all out. He asked me if he could
pass my number on to Jessica, and I said, yes,
I know this is selfish of me, but I asked
him not to contact me again and ask Jessica not
to contact me until next week. I just need some

(09:25):
time first. He sounded upset, but he agreed and didn't
say anything to argue with me or anything. Now, my
parents are good people, good parents. I don't understand why
they would do this to me. I haven't spoken to
them about this yet. I don't know I'm going to
do it because now I just feel alone. And there
are some comments and an update. Ae mo eight says,

(09:46):
I'm so sorry. I had an NPE experience and it
also hit me hard. I didn't hardly leave my room
for three days and felt like I was dissociating. It's
been a few weeks now and I'm much better. I
hope that gives you hope. It takes time for the
shock to wear off. It sounds like your birth parents
wanted you and want contact, which feels confusing, I'm sure,

(10:07):
but that should also feel great that you were wanted.
I'm sure your parents who raised you thought they were
doing the best thing for you. They probably didn't want
you confused and wanted to preserve their bond with you.
I don't think it ever gets easier telling someone they're adopted,
so maybe they just kept putting it off and then
didn't want to hurt you. Probably not the best choice,
but it seems you were very love by all parents involved.

(10:29):
Just take some time to process and maybe tell your
birth parents you're more comfortable with written communication for now
instead of the phone. Sorry you're going through this, and
Opie says, it just feels all unreal. I still can't
quite understand it all. I haven't spoken to my parents
properly since I found out. I just don't know how
to face them. And Vegan Cutie says, I'm so sorry. Unfortunately,

(10:51):
your story is not too uncommon amongst adoptees whose parents
initially agree to tell their child the truth but they
never end up doing it. You have the right to
feel upset and betrayed. I mean, that's a huge secret
to keep from your child for so long, regardless of
your intentions. I'm sure no parent ever intends to hurt
their kids with this type of thing, but ultimately they

(11:11):
should have given you the truth instead of letting you
find out like this. It may take some time, but
the initial shock will eventually wear off and it'll become
just another thing in your life. It won't hurt forever
when you feel ready, I'm sure talking to your parents
about all of this might help you get through it.
Much love, Opie says, thank you. I don't understand why

(11:32):
anyone would do that short of their child. Vegan Cutie says,
I really don't know why. Your parents may be the
only ones who can answer that question. They owe you
an explanation. Opie says, I love them so much, which
makes this so hard for me. I feel like I'm
already a disappointment to them in so many ways, and
now I'm not even their real son. Wait, why are
they making you a disappointment? Why are they making you
feel like that?

Speaker 5 (11:53):
I would love forp just to see a therapist and
understand those underlying tones. Yeah, it seems like a really
interesting connection, just like all these things put together. Because
your parents are being disappointed in you may be a
disappointment they're having themselves that are putting on you, like
all just a number of things.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yeah, ouch, oh, pee, go easy on yourself. You've literally
done nothing wrong. You are, you know, kind of just
going with the flow of the life. That has been
handed to.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
You getting through school.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
But there is an update. A day later, I found
out that I'm adopted. I don't know how I'm ever
going to forgive my parents. I found out that I'm
adopted this week. I'm nineteen years old. I never had
any idea. No one ever told me or even suggested
I wasn't related to my parents. My parents don't know
that I know I'm adopted. I haven't really spoken to

(12:46):
them properly since I found out, and now I don't
even know how I'm going to face them. Since finding out,
I've had the opportunity to speak to my biological father
over the phone, and he explained a lot. I've always
thought I was so much like my dad. I thought
I looked like him, and now I don't even know
myself anymore. I don't know what to do, and there
are some comments I think finishing the story off. Damon

(13:07):
Prince of Korn says, listen, you're real, You're here, you
touch things. If I cut you, you'll bleed, but I
won't because that's very rude. You have experiences and feelings
and preferences in things you find funny and heartbreaking. You
have music that makes your heart jump. You have friends
who love different things about you. You're a whole butt
person whether or not you're adopted. I can't imagine how

(13:28):
hard this is and how hard it's going to be.
Someone made a roundup of resources for late discovery adoptees
a while back, and it's pretty thorough and can at
least help you get your feet back on the ground
when you feel like you've become rather untethered. They should
have been honest with you. We've known for decades and
decades that honesty is the best policy when it comes
to adoption. There's no shame in being adopted or in adopting,

(13:52):
and you absolutely shouldn't be embarrassed or shamed. Perhaps your
parents should be for lying to you, But you've done
nothing wrong this. Your adoption isn't a result of a
decision you made. You did not ask for this. You've
done nothing wrong and nothing is wrong with you. Sending
big hugs post when you need to definitely get in
with the therapist as soon as you can to help

(14:14):
process all of this. You know how if you have
a bad bone break, you'll need physical therapy for a while,
so you can have some guided support in the recovery period.
Therapists can be like that too. There's also no shame
in calling in the big pupews when you're way out
of your depth, whether that's a doctor or a plumber
or a mental health professional. I'm so sorry, Bud. And
that's the end of that story. So we don't know

(14:35):
if op has talked to their parents.

Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yet the story has so much potential.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
Yeah, I'm really hoping that you talk to your parents
and they're not awful.

Speaker 5 (14:44):
I don't know why, but from the beginning it was
just your mindset inching away from that.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
I mean, everyone in this story is afraid. It seems
like is letting fear kind of get the better of them.
And I think that you just need to have some
communication with your parents because maybe they'll surprise you.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Again.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
Definitely undoubtedly made a mistake that was selfish of them,
but that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love you
or care for you.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
They did what they thought was best, was it selfish? Yes,
you got it. You got two new parents.

Speaker 4 (15:13):
You've even got two new parents you can see.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah, you got two.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
New parents now that also love you.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Very cool yup.

Speaker 5 (15:19):
And that is the first story of not your father's
week and we have a next one tomorrow for you
guys here on the podcast, so join in.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
My boyfriend's sister hates me. It's straight in our relationship,
get out of here sys. Adam and I.

Speaker 7 (15:37):
Have been together for a little over four months now.
For the most part, our relationship is perfect, but ever
since his sister veered into my life, it's been causing
huge strain on mine in Adam's relationship. By the way,
this comes from Butterfly Fly Away twenty one and if
you want us smit your own stories, go the r
slash Okay story temp stubrut it. So when I first
started dating Adam, he told me Marie was coming to

(15:57):
visit from out of town and get ready to meet her.
I asked him what he meant by that, and he said,
Marie is a witch. She's a mean, judgmental girl and
won't give you the time of day.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
Now. I try to be a nice person.

Speaker 7 (16:09):
I try not to judge people, and I always welcome
someone new in my life in the warmest possible way.
Right when he described Marie liked that, I told Alim,
I don't want toxic people like that in my life.
But I will meet her and be civil with her, said, Hi,
shook my hand. I was okay with this. About five
minutes later, she comes barging into Adam's room, asking why
he was screaming. He was telling her that he walked
me to pluck his eyebrows and it was painful, completely

(16:31):
ignoring me in the room, She goes, that's stupid. They
look fine and go get a wax if you need
them done that bad and walks out later that night.
The night after, she would call Adam to pick her
up when she was wasted because she was irresponsible and
planned to ride. I told him that we spend limited
time together and have to cut it by his sister's
kind of annoying. He took her side, which is expected,

(16:52):
and anytime we were in his room, she always felt
the need to knock bargin.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
For literally no reason.

Speaker 7 (16:57):
I don't have siblings, and I assumed this is typical
sibling move, but she never spoke one word to me
and acted like I didn't think this. Marie left town
and she started telling Adam things about me that she
didn't like, and then made a huge deal over the
fact that I didn't add her on Facebook. I accepted
her request, and then she called him and started dissecting
my profile and everything about it. A girl can't catch

(17:19):
a break is my sister, and this girl has a sister,
no room to judge anyone herself. Up until Tuesday night,
Marie had said she was staying home for Thanksgiving. All
of a sudden sides to come down and ruin everything.
She came into town last night. I told Adam that
I didn't want to see her or hang out with her,
and he was really uneasy about that. When I got

(17:41):
to his house, he stapped me down, said we had
to talk. Basically told me that no one in his
life has ever not liked his sister. What do you
mean you literally just call you? Told ope like, hey,
this girl is a massive witch. Be prepared. You said that,
and there is going to be a huge problem if
I don't get along with her. I said, I would

(18:02):
be civil, but I didn't want a self absorbed person,
negative girl like that in my life. I said, I
would respect the fact that they are siblings and they're
extremely close.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
But that's it.

Speaker 7 (18:10):
I also asked him to do one thing. If she
is over, could he ask her to give us some
privacy When the door is closed and not barge in.
And Adam is extremely against this. What if you are
mid coital, you.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
Want that, you want that, you want that? I think
so we don't want that.

Speaker 7 (18:25):
Again, not having siblings, I don't really get it, but
I know that I would ask my parents to respect
my privacy if he were at my house and the
roles were reversed. After two hours of arguing this, he
finally gave in. We were at his house and he
texted him or Ree saying, hey, I'll talk to you
in the morning if you come in. Girlfriend is over
and she leaves on Saturday. His way of asking for
some privacy. Well, she took this the wrong way, started screaming,

(18:48):
deleted me on Facebook, went out, got wasted. One thirty
Am comes by. She's calling their mother screaming how she
needs a ride. Can't call Adam because I'm a witch
and a witch. And then his mother starts screaming that
I'm a witch and we'd just stop and he needs
to pick her up now.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
Oh man, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
The mom's not a vibe either.

Speaker 7 (19:08):
Once again, I'm alive and our night And for the record,
I was asleep, sick, in his bed. So now Marie
hates me for asking for privacy and is setting out
to make my life. And now his mother dislikes me
because naturally she agreed with her daughter. Like I said,
he and his sister are extremely close, and I know
she's going to do everything in her power to make
sure he and I aren't together. And even after talking
to me Outam about this, he still sides with the sister.

(19:29):
I'm supposed to go on vacation with both of them
in a month, and I am dreading that all day today,
Adam has been very distant, old towards me, and I'm
afraid this is the beginning of the end. How should
I confront both of them about this or mend this?
Any help would be appreciated. And there is an update
coming up, But juicy, juicy, thick update, because we are
barely a quarter through this story, it's gonna get thick. Wow,

(19:52):
it's gonna get juicy. But what do you think? Do
you think Op is the A hole? And also how
should I confront both of them.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
About I think that Op is not the a hole.
I think she is not only setting a reasonable boundary.
But again, it's like, hey, in a relationship. It's like
your partner's like, hey, this is like you know what
I want and like what I feel comfortable with, and
like you gotta kind of work together to figure out
what that equilibrium is going to be. So yeah, I

(20:20):
mean the sisters absolutely cuckoo for coca puffs, sounds like
moms as well, and he's not supporting her, yeah, which.

Speaker 7 (20:27):
Means I mean the relationship is is if he doesn't
start choosing you, I think the relationship is going to
be doomed.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
And that's I think that the next conversation is like, hey, listen,
I understand you. You you know, love your sister and whatever,
but like, you know, there's some things that are you know,
I don't want to just like at her bargin whenever
she wants, for example, and like we need to just
like work together to get on the same.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Page on that. She can't just steam roll over you. Yeah, yeah,
I don't let it do.

Speaker 8 (20:54):
I did look up the ages of everyone, or at
least the three main characters. Yes, so it looks like
boyfriend is twenty three, the sister's twenty five, and O
twenty one, and I'm.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Just the youngest.

Speaker 7 (21:09):
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 (21:14):
And then I guarant I SOA I'm thinking like, oh,
the sisters, the oldest getting the you know, yeah, whatever
little brother syndrome thing, you know, Oh, I can do
whatever I want.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, the boss. Yeah, but we got an update.

Speaker 7 (21:28):
We got an updates dive into thattt mayba we got
an update.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
Oh yeah, sister into it.

Speaker 7 (21:36):
A lot has happened, but I will try to make
it as short as possible. Feel free to ask for
any clarification on anything if I'm thinking of this timeline correctly.
I briefly saw my boyfriend Adam on Thenksgiving while his
sister Marie was out shopping on Black Friday. When I
left his house, I asked him if he had asked
his sister why she had deleted me on Facebook out
of the blue.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
He didn't do that.

Speaker 7 (21:55):
So the next Friday, Adam and I get into a
fight in the morning that was between he and I.
I was leaving down quickly for a family emergency and
my emotions were already pretty whacked. I definitely overreacted, but
there was a lot in my mind, which I explained
to him. I met up with him around five since
we wanted to talk and still home, I get asked
him if he asked his sister, and he said no.
We calls her on the phone and she says, if

(22:16):
she wants to talk to me in person, he can.
I'll be civil. Literally, recalling this night makes my heart race.
We grabbed a bite before we headed over to his house,
because at that point I hadn't decided if I wanted
to speak with her or not. During the dinner, he
told me that we weren't going to go to his house,
that this was goodbye. Oh for a while. Why for
a while. Yeah, still emotions running high. I asked him

(22:39):
why and he said, because my sister is there. I
knew that I had to talk with her sooner or later,
and he ultimately wanted me to do it, so I
did it for him. Mentally, I was telling myself, not
say anything, and I can cry when it's over if
I needed to. I never cry. I drive over there
and I follow him into his sister's room. Marie is
laying on her bed and she said sit down, I
would rather stand and instantly turns to Adam and says,

(23:02):
you see this crap, Adam, he's acting like a witch already.
I'm taking a back So I asked what's the difference
between me sitting down and standing up? She says, nothing
goes on with what she has to say, which went
something like this.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
Here we go.

Speaker 7 (23:12):
First, she started telling me about how Adam was sharing
every text message, in phone conversation we've had together with her,
and she knows everything that I've said about her.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Dude, that's not cool, bro, Adam, what are you doing?

Speaker 9 (23:27):
No, Adam, here's the bus, Adau. I guess you got
thrown under.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
Oh.

Speaker 7 (23:35):
All I said on text and on phone is that
I don't want to go downtown because I don't want
big sister breathing down our next. Again, you're focusing on
the wrong thing here, girl, Adam is a little spineless boy.
My friends were in town that I haven't seen for years,
and the last thing I wanted to do was deal
with having her sloppy, wasted self barging in. I didn't
say that last tens. All I said to him is
I didn't want her breathing down our next. She took

(23:57):
that out of context extremely personally. Then Marie started talking
thinking about why she deleted me on Facebook. She said
that she wasn't going to keep me as a friend
if I didn't like her. She said she doesn't keep
people like that on her account. Adam decides now is
a good time to tell Marie clarify something that I
had confusion on first sign that he was completely defending her.
She said, Oh, I keep that girl as a friend
because I like to know things about her life because

(24:17):
I hate her. I think her life is so pathetic
that it's funny and I like that. What the quote
John and the quote Ope? So you don't like me,
so you delete me, but you want to use her
to talk crap about her, so you keep her. Again,
I didn't say anything. Marie then goes to talk about
how she thinks that I'm a crazy, controlling witch. She said,
you never let Adam go out, You never let at
him hang out with his friends, You never let Adam drink.

(24:39):
You don't let Adam do anything that he wants. Then
turns to Adam and says, I think you are a
crazy witch, and you are a kiddy for putting up
with this girl.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
I think you should leave her. And you know I
am always right, You never disagree with me. Yeah, yeah,
this says is not controlling at all.

Speaker 7 (24:58):
Also, the one thing she is right is uh, Adam
is a little kitty. True, he is a little little noodle.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Spine Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 (25:09):
Adam, stand up for yourself, man, Come on, stand up,
grow the spine, cut the boundaries down.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
Go from kitty to lion. Yeah. I had a lot
of practices on that, jode is.

Speaker 7 (25:27):
Adam put his head down like a puppy who just
got scolded. I stood there and shocked, held back to
heres and say anything. When she said that statement, she
also mentioned examples. Then it hit me she knows everything
about our relationship. He tells her everything, but he only
tells Marie his side of the story and what's going on.
He never told her anything about anything, so she is

(25:48):
hearing things about relationships that are taking way out of context.
For example, the drinking thing was because one night he
got extremely wasted, beyond wasted, and of course tried to
cover it up. I clearly knew his wasted ask him
not to have spicy sleep with me when he's wasted,
because I've been mistreated that way and I don't enjoy it,
which is a totally good.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Thing to do.

Speaker 7 (26:07):
Yeah, he took that as I hate it when he drinks, period.
And that's what his sister said of.

Speaker 9 (26:11):
Course, Uh, just dumb, both of them now, just dumb,
both of them.

Speaker 7 (26:17):
Now that I have tissues with bicy sleep while wasted,
not the drinking itself. I also constantly ask Adam if
he feels like I'm holding back for anything from him
because I don't want to, and he always says, no,
not at all. If I wanted to do something, I
would do it. Marie then starts to go on about
how we were supposed to vacation together. She says, why
are you even going to go when we're not going

(26:37):
to talk. It's awkward for everyone. You should not go.
Adam told me that you didn't want to go to
dinner with us. This staycation was for Adam's birthday. Finally
stepped in and said, I never said that, not once.
In fact, dinner hasn't even been mentioned, and Adam then
backs his sister up.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Of course, it makes me look crazy. We're not remembering
even the combo truly never happened. Why. I don't know
why you're like trying to hold onto this. Ah, it's
too much, Oh, way too much.

Speaker 7 (27:03):
She goes on to pick apart everything that's wrong with me,
tells me why she's better than I'll ever be I
don't know why that matters, tells me that I've never
even acknowledged anyone in this family when they're around.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
Not true at all, you wouldn't know.

Speaker 7 (27:13):
And tells me that people think I'm a witch because
I speak my mind and I'm not afraid to tell
someone something that's not even which that's just a bitter,
immature person. Kristin Cavalari was never liked. Who is that uh?
Tells me things of a relationship that I didn't even
know about, and reminds me that she's always right, and
he break up with me. This went on, We're over

(27:34):
an hour. I held it all in and then I
walked out of the room. I broke down pride and cried,
didn't get over an hour of sleep, and missed my
plane because I just couldn't handle anything at the moment.
I ended up getting on another plane, thank goodness. I
decided that instead of talking to her, I would write
a letter and explain everything. I didn't stay in person.
You should write a letter to your boyfriend to break up?

Speaker 9 (27:53):
Yeah, just an hour of just taking just getting barge. Yeah,
and you're crazy.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
Your boyfriend did ohing and ahhing.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
I feel like this is This is like a great
example where it's like I know, I guess op's like
trying to like, okay, like let me communicate, let me
like say all the things that I couldn't like articulate
when I was there. Sometimes you don't gotta do that.
This woman was just berating you for an hour. It's
it's there's there's.

Speaker 7 (28:18):
Really no Yeah. I wrote it and decided to ultimately
not send it. A truly can move with you. I
love that because I don't even want to give her
any piece or part in my life.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Well, I was gone.

Speaker 7 (28:31):
I thought a lot about Maria's person. I think that
for someone to be so immature, cold and mean, there
has to be some really deep emotional problems. And this
is the way she lets out again, makes fun of
everyone for being fat, but she can lose weight. Do
you think she's better than everyone because she has Tory
Birch flats? And literally the first thing to ask Adam
about me was what kind of person choose does she wear?

(28:54):
And she wasn't very happy with that answer. Do you
believe material possessions make a person? And in order to
make herself feel happy or okay, is to tear down
every single person in your life. I question anyone who
openly prides himself or herself in being a crap talker,
who wants someone like that in their life.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
I sure don't.

Speaker 7 (29:09):
That's petty drama even MTV wouldn't want for a reality show.
Came back into town and decided to be very black and
white with Adham until we were able to talk everything out.
I told him that he never defended me once. Hopefully,
maybe op is gonna break up. Hopefully, I'm praying, bro,
he never defended me once when he could have, and
I'm so hurt that there's basically a third person in

(29:30):
a relationship. The thing she said to me, I'll never forget.
I asked him why he didn't go to me with
the way he felt about things, and he said because
he was scared spanos span And I explained to him,
I don't have a brother or sister to go to,
so I go to him with our problems. I wish
he could do the same, because things get twisted like

(29:52):
everything was. I told him, Oh, when you let people
only see the bad things, they're gonna get bad thoughts,
especially when they are from a bi of you. Adam
understood everything and since that talk, relationship has been pretty solid.
You're sticking with it, OPI crazy. I started to get
Marie and all of her hurtfull words out of my
head until the conversation about vacation came up. I was

(30:14):
with Adam on a Friday night. He said to me,
so about my birthday vacation. Marie called me and said
that she has already spent a lot of money on
Christmas in New Year's Eve, and she knows how important
you are to me and how she knows that I
ultimately want to be with you on my birthday. She
doesn't want to intrude or make anything awkward or make
you feel uncomfortable, but she has no problem with you.
She said that she would be willing to cancel the vacation.

(30:36):
What do you think?

Speaker 9 (30:37):
Who is this guy?

Speaker 1 (30:38):
What is this explanation?

Speaker 9 (30:39):
Who is this guy?

Speaker 2 (30:40):
She she obviously she just tore into Op four an
hour straight.

Speaker 8 (30:47):
I guarantee you Marie is telling that to the boyfriend
or to Opie's boyfriend, saying send it and see what
she says. And she's like, you know what she's gonna
you say all this and you know what, break up
all this stuff it's.

Speaker 9 (31:01):
A test, which I don't know. I would bring somebody.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (31:05):
I felt so uneasy in my head. The first thing
I thought of was, that's a setup. That's a complete setup.
Choos Wisely, I told Adam verbatim, I would like take
a couple of days to think about what I would
like to do. Adam wanted to answer immediately, but I
really wanted to think it out. I didn't want to
be selfish to stay canceled, but I didn't want to
put myself in a bad situation. I really didn't want
to go at all. But all I said to him

(31:26):
was I'll think about it, and he texted his sister, Yeah,
cancel your vacation. I didn't know this at the time.
She stopped talking to him. I hadn't given it an answer,
and he didn't ask me for one. I really wanted
her to decide and then I would go with whatever,
but I really did not want to go. Two weeks
later he told me that he sent that text to Marie.
She called him up and said, I cannot believe you're
picking your girlfriend over me. I am your sister, blah
blah blah. She doesn't come before me. I am first

(31:48):
in your life. Stop talking to him. Just like I
knew it was a setup. I knew she does not
like me and has not liked me, and this was
a test to see who we would pick, which is
why stayed out because I did not want this to
come back around to me. I told him I knew
it was a setup. Besides Christmas, they haven't talked much.
The only time they do talk, it's brief, and she
constantly asked questions about my life. I think if you

(32:10):
don't like someone, you don't waste your time or energy
on them.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
But this is her hobby.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Oh bro, she's she's yo of petty energy, just like
he's a sucking life.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Boss and second life for is out of herself too.
Oh my god.

Speaker 7 (32:25):
I ended up not going on the vacation because I
had another family emergency that hasn't happened. Adam and I
have been doing wonderfully. I don't know, but I am
scared that the next time his sister comes into town
something will happen between us.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
It probably will.

Speaker 7 (32:37):
I am constantly worrying about the future and what is
going to happen later on. I don't want to put
all of my effort in this relationship if it won't
work out because his sister and I do not get along.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
I can't continually put.

Speaker 7 (32:47):
My relationship on hold when Marie comes into town, and
I don't want to have any drama when she's around either,
So I still don't know what to do because our
relationship is going so wow, there's more to this story. Oh,
thank you to all the reagis. I apologize again for
so long to run an update. I pose another problem
above and any feedback would be greatually appreciated. By the way,
you can go listen to full episodes with stories just

(33:07):
like this. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite
podcast app and search. Okay, story time. There's a little
bit more to the story, a little little little some details,
but uh, I mean we had a story earlier today
like this, Like it seems like you you things kind
of went okay and went your way once and you're
ignoring an entire history of bad choices. We still have

(33:32):
not resolved this problem on it. He chose you once
over his sister. As soon as she comes back to
stay with him or to you, it's gonna yeah, it's
gonna get because she's not.

Speaker 8 (33:43):
Around such a big elephant in the room too, like, hey,
where were you in that conversation? Nothing, it was never
brought up again. Yeah, okay, that's cool.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah you're weeping stuff under the rug.

Speaker 7 (33:54):
Yeah, look like I mean much like a three minute
hinge voice message.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
This is two much. Wow, what a comparison.

Speaker 7 (34:04):
If you're wondering about his mom, well, she has been
nothing but nice to me. After screaming about how I'm
a witch such, she never apologized, but she's been overly
sweet to me. Adam actually told me about two weeks
ago that she's a substance regular user and heavy drinker,
and that's why he has a very small relationship with
her and why she acts the way she does. I

(34:24):
am fine with the entire family, and I know on
Christmas Day it ate Marie alive when all her favorite
little cousins kept asking you about me where I was
because they wanted to talk about cheerleading and gymnastics.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
I cheered in coach gymnastics. She knows nothing about that.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Edit.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
WHOA.

Speaker 7 (34:41):
I didn't think that would get so much of a response.
I want to thank everyone taking time to reply. It
means a lot to me. I just responded to almost everyone.
Thank you guys, you're great. I'm thinking of talking to
him at this point about it again. But I've mentioned
in some comments about having troubles bringing up I see
him on Monday or Tuesday. I hope you talk to him, because,
oh man, this is a lot.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
I beg you be He literally shared the entire relage,
like is this we had? I feel like we've had
enough red flags.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Hey it's John here, og host of the show. We're
gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a
quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My boyfriend
actively neglects responsibilities.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
I want to leave. I think you should. It's your
responsibility to leave. Oh, get out of a girl.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
I first met my thirty six female boyfriend thirty seven
male five years ago when I moved to a new state.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
I was staying with my family and we went shopping.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
He came to assist and I was kind of attracted
him from the jump. I have a type tattoos, smart
butt attitude button the funny way. A month later, I
ended up working at the same store, not because of him,
but because it was close to my family's house and
the only place actively.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
Hiring at the start of the bid.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
By the way, this comes from cultural poet forty three
sixty three. And if you want to submit your own
story is going to be our slash okay story.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
I'm stubbred it. So. I was not doing well before
I moved.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
My grief over losing my mom had me in a
choke hold, was crashing on people's couches, drinking, doing substances,
and just all.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Around my life.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
I talked to my family, jumped on a bus, and
three days later I moved to another state across the
country to start over and try again.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
Wow fresh clean, clean, fresh lan start hard reboots.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Getting this job was the first big positive step forwards
for me. So it took about two months of making
excuses to stop and talk, some light social media stocking,
and outright telling him I was interested before he finally
realized I was flirting with him. I was laying it down.
Some men do not understand when they are being flirted with.

Speaker 8 (36:35):
It's usually ninety nine percent of men. Yes, we are
so dumb.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
You're kissing me on the mouth. I'm not sure even then.

Speaker 9 (36:44):
We don't know if you're flirting with us. Any of
you like us?

Speaker 1 (36:46):
Oh sorry, sorry, you tripped on my head.

Speaker 8 (36:48):
They're like, huh, it's like you can literally say we
like you, and we're like, m okay, DOUM believe that.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
So we went on our first date and we had
so much fun. We talked about our lives. I told
him a bit about my past. I found out his
wasn't to a far off, maybe even a little darker
than my past. He sold me the story of his
past with substances, a cheating X, and how he had
moved home because even though the house was quote unquote
in his name, she was pregnant and he didn't want
to punt her out. He made it sound like he

(37:15):
owned a said house. I have heard that story changed
multiple times throughout the years, and I'm still not sure
if I've ever even gotten the truth about that. He
implied that he also moved home to help his parents
out with paying bills. I later found out that his
parents are very comfortable in their finances and he didn't
pay them anything. Needless to say, I drink the fool aid. Anyways,

(37:36):
I fell hard and fast. We talked about buying a
house together, which thank god I came to my senses
and we opted to get an apartment instead, and about
ten months into our relationship, we moved to our apartment.
So yeah, not even a year in and they're living
together ole quick, little quick. There were some behaviors that
I knew I would have to help him grow out of,
his gaming habits, general messiness, guy stuff For time saving purposes.

(38:01):
I will not list everything that I learned in that
first year and the three years since I've lived with them,
but one thing became glaringly obvious. I fell in love
with a giant man child and a mama's boy. I
learned that he was not just messy. He was dirty.
Trash left all over the coffee table, food bits on
the floor from late night gaming snacks, leaving food out, overnight,
cloth staying wherever they land. I had never seen it

(38:23):
before because his mom always picked up after him when
he was living with them. We had multiple fights about
his obsession with gaming, his inability to manage his money.
He had one bill in his name, even though I
gave him money for it, it would still be like Wow,
and his insane jealousy because of his cheating AX. Meanwhile,
over time, I was working my way up in the company.

(38:44):
I went from a measley part time position to full
time to a coveted sales position and eventually management.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Dude, op is making it happen. Huge, that's good stuff.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
Now I work with a division of corporate still low
on the tone of pall, but already have my manager
putting in recommendations or promotions for me. And I had
never done this well at a job in my entire life.
Mind you, this is coming from op. He's like starting
from scratch, getting like a retail job. So Opie's like
really made something. I never worked at a company for
this long. I quit substances, rarely drank except for a
few nights out with friends, and I managed to make

(39:15):
and I was so proud of myself for becoming an
actual adult. I even had good credit again go when
I got the sales position. He was jealous because even
though he has the skill set to be successful in
a role like that, he had a crappy attitude, was
often late, and used BS excuses about a very manageable
health thing to leave early. He made me feel so
small about my promotion that I didn't even get to

(39:37):
celebrate it.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Another human red red flag. Celebrate your partner, man is
nothing but red flag.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Instead, I cried that night because apparently only way that
anyone succeeded was because they kissed butt, and no one
was actually promoted for their skills. It was just a
popularity game. I worked my butt off for that position.
I showed up early, offered to stay late, it helped
anywhere and everywhere in that store, and had to deal
with anger Karen's with a smile on my face. To

(40:05):
his credit, he felt bad and learned from that experience
and has been happy for me with every position I've
moved up to since then. But yeah, he's he's blendingly
belittling you and making you cry when you get a promotion.
Yeah no, Yeah, this is getting long, so let's fast forward.
We're still renting, but we've moved into a house that
was quite a bit more than our apartment, but we

(40:25):
were doing well work wise. He eventually left the company
we worked for and ended up in a much better
paying job. Also, our family had grown by three fur
babies and we needed more space.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
Now. I think about six months ago he lost his job.
Gonna get jealous of op probably for heard oh true,
good point point of point.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
I told him to apply for unemployment, but his pride
and ego he got in the way. He always has
an excuse that there's some sort of issue with his application,
but I honestly don't think he even applied for it.
In the first two months, his parents were giving him
money to go towards rent, but I was still picking
up an extra five hundred dollars of household expenses every month. Now,
at some point he closed his bank account and never

(41:05):
opened one again.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
What okay, I'm confused.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
All his money gets deposited into his dad's bank account,
and then his mom would give him cash.

Speaker 7 (41:16):
So not only is mommy folding her clothes, but she's
also giving new an allowance.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
And this man is like in his like mid late thirties.

Speaker 7 (41:25):
Unless this is for like crazy tax reasons, which I
don't think it is, this is weird.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
So strange. He barely put any effort into finding a job.
Between his unemployment, being able to borrow off his parents
and me covering whatever was left, he was awfully comfortable
just staying at home. I told him, I get it,
I've been unemployed before. But if he's going to be
home all day, he could pick up some house chores.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Mayb he fold his own clothes. For one man whoa
whoa a radical idea? Crazy and Diddy No, hell no,
no Diddy. He is the king.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
Wow, he is the gig of weaponized and competence. He
took one dedicated chore of doing the dishes, and he
was still inconsistent on when that would actually get done.
We started fighting more and more and it became a
weekly events again. Like something I think we've seen continually
in the last few stories that we've read is you
have bad times and then you realize that there's problems,

(42:24):
and then if you don't solve the problems, there will
be good times that will make those problems less present,
less than your face, but the problems will come up again,
like the problem. We've been seeing these problems again and again,
and when the times are good, you just brush him
under the rug, but the problems are still there, Like
you're never gonna have a good relationship if you keep
ignoring these problems.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
They are coming up.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
They're stacking like his dirty dishes, girl, yeah, and his
dirty drawers, dirty skid mark drawer. Now remember me mentioning
the gaming. I'm not against gaming, but he took it
to a whole new level. He had a game room
off in the garage. Last winter, he would be out
there with a little electric heater, ranking up our electric
bill as the month started to get cold, and our

(43:07):
household stayed at a one to one and a half
income household. He was on unemployment but making less than
half what he was making when he was working. I
told him he could bring his game into the living
room to keep the.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
Electric bill down.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
That same night, he started sleeping on the couch. Not
because we fought and I made him. He does it
because he plays until two or three am, gets off
the game, watches people play other games on YouTube, and
falls asleep. Get a job, the routine of champions. God,
there's gotta be better guys though, dude, right, bro has

(43:42):
so far zero redeeming qualities.

Speaker 7 (43:46):
He's gotta be hot, right because there's yeah, yeah, I
already lift it too much for our audio listeners, John
is a hold at all. Great Now, that's pain is gross?

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Okay, that's pain is gross.

Speaker 9 (44:07):
Good call back, John.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
That was maybe three or four months ago.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Our relationship honestly feels like we are roommates at this point.
He's working again, trying to take the job hunt seriously.
I took away his game controllers and threatened to sell.

Speaker 7 (44:20):
He took away his gig no games until you applied.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
The jobs and threatened to sell it to put towards bills.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
And then you get this quokie if you're a good
boy god and you know what too.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
This is actually a great example of like when you
don't like address the real things now, o Pee is
like probably not her ideal self, you know of like oh,
taking controls and threatening sell like you don't become your ideal.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Person when when you're mammified.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah, when you're mommified but still making considerably less meaning
I am continuing to overextend yourself to cover our monthly expenses.
My credit has taken a hit because I'd missed payments
to having to cover so much of the expenses. After
almost five years together, four years of me managing all
the expenses, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and doing most of the
work to care for all of our fur babies, I

(45:11):
had a moment of clarity where I realized I'm done.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yeah, you realize that you shouldn't be the mother of
this man.

Speaker 7 (45:23):
I mean, you shouldn't do anything. He just realized it,
but comes back action. Yes, that's the first step that's
the first step. Realizing is the first step.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Yes, I never signed up to raise a man who
still acts like a teenager. Something I did mention, but
it's worth noting is when we would fight, ninety percent
of the time it would escalate because of him. I'm
a talker. He starts yelling, throwing things things, not men,
like a three year old dude.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
It is literally sow not me, but still red flag behavior.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
Then starts crying and using self deprecation to the point
that I somehow end up consoling him.

Speaker 8 (45:56):
Yeah, they're almost forty, by the way, are dude almost forty?

Speaker 1 (46:04):
This is like freshman year high school behavior.

Speaker 7 (46:07):
Yeah, dude, Oh my god. Yeah, forty is crazy. That's
good in context, kion, Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Then the next day he just acts like none of it.
I wrappen.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
So back to the moment of clarity, where I may
be an a hole. I have started to look into
apartments in the city. I have a serious lifelong medical
condition and because of it, I can't drive.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Wow, our town doesn't have.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Public transportation, so if I leave, I literally have to
move out of town. I've talked to one or two
close friends about my plan to leave. We have five
months left on the lease, and because of the financial
hole he dug me in, I don't have the money
I would need to break the lease and pay to
move into a new place. Also, I need time to
figure out how to untangle our lives. We are both
in the car, we have a shared phone plan, et cetera,

(46:48):
et cetera. Our lease is ending in August, and I
plan to move right after our last month of rent
is paid. The only reason I haven't told him yet
is I don't trust him not to bail and leave
me paying for this big house on my own.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
By the way, you've heard of big houses.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Well, we built the foundation of this show by releasing
two thousand episodes on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, in your favorite
podcast out so Search, Okay, story Time and literally.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
Binge to your heart's content. Binge away, my pretties. I
promise you it'll be a fun ride.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
But sam Onto, this actually kind of interesting scenario where
you our core tenant is communicate early and off.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
I mean, that's like what we always say. Op.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
He is in a bit of a pickle with this
situation of like not wanting him to bail.

Speaker 7 (47:33):
I mean, he's shown he's very unreliable, But I mean,
I think he's too addicted to mommy to actually bail.
I would still say communicate. Is also this is it's
all conjecture that you think you're gonna bail. I would
say communicate. And if he's bails, then there's like I
think way you could ask his parents. I think you
could figure things out. I would I would communicate early enough.

(47:55):
And I think it still goes the name here.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
So I feel bad because I'm giving myself four to
five months to plan, prepare, and save. I plan to
tell him when we get our offer to renew, but
one of my friends says to not tell him until
July to ensure that I won't have to take all
the expenses on my own for the next four months. Ah, dude,
I think you tell him early. I think you tell
him because like and I know, like we don't know

(48:20):
exactly how that will how f OPI's financial situation will be,
But just to just to put the argument out there
sometimes like just having.

Speaker 4 (48:30):
The weight of that off of your shoulders.

Speaker 7 (48:32):
Yeah, you know, there you go, ma'am, our little two cents.
But that's where that story ends.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
Oh, or we go a little bit more. We got
a little bit more. Am I the a hole for
not telling him?

Speaker 2 (48:42):
I planned to leave and give him the same amount
of time to get his plan in order as I'm
giving myself.

Speaker 4 (48:48):
I kept my friend's marital status is secret. It made
my wife furious.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
Secret secrets are no fun unless you share them with everyone.

Speaker 6 (48:59):
I thirty five, grew up with three other friends. The
four of us were only children and lived in nearby houses,
which allowed us to spend a lot of time together,
so we practically grew up as brothers, and I can
consider them as such.

Speaker 4 (49:10):
By the way.

Speaker 6 (49:10):
This comes from user silent Anywhere ten eighty and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime subreddit. One in particular, j thirty
six male has always been lucky with ladies. You could
say he's a very good looking guy and has an
established career an excellently catch. I suppose about eight years
ago I moved in with my then girlfriend thirty five female,

(49:31):
and Jake and the rest of my Broski's visitor visited
us often. One afternoon, my girlfriend's sister, thirty three female,
came to visit while Jake was at our house, and
they met my sister in law developed a crush on
him immediately. When my girlfriend told me about it, I
felt compelled to warn her she shouldn't get too close
to him if she intended to have a long term relationship.

(49:54):
You see, Jake was mostly into one night stands at
the time and didn't believe in commitment.

Speaker 4 (49:58):
He was not the type to just use women for pleasure, like.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
A predator or anything.

Speaker 6 (50:02):
But I had heard him tell a couple of them
several times in a very cold way not to get
their hopes up.

Speaker 4 (50:07):
He broke many hearts.

Speaker 3 (50:08):
Dang man, you're friends with a heartbreaker.

Speaker 6 (50:11):
Despite my warnings, she didn't listen and for two years
made it her personal mission to seduce him. He was
initially friendly and even flirty with her, but quickly turned
into ignoring her when I told him I would be
pissed if he messed up things enough to affect my
own relationship. She never found out what I said, and
nothing else happened between them until my wedding day.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
Paul's real quick. That is kind of annoying, though, Yeah,
what together? I were the sister in law and I'm
like and NP's like, hey, he's not looking for relationship,
and she's like, for sure flirting with them. He's flirting
back with her op steps AND's like, don't do it.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
Yeah, it goes.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
That's annoying because you're gonna mess up my relationship.

Speaker 3 (50:46):
Yeah, I'd be like if I were the sister in law,
I'd be like, dude, step off. I'm a big girl.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (50:51):
Jake and some other friends drank too much, and at
some point Jake ended up in bed with sister in law.
He called me a few days later to apologize for
any trouble he may have caused. I was confused and
didn't know what he was talking about, but he then
told me he drank too much that night and and
all he could remember was waking up in sister in
law's apartment the next morning, clothes lists and with a

(51:12):
massive hangover, to her making him breakfast. All he could
manage to do at that point was take his clothes
and get the heck out of there. Sister in law
didn't like that at all, and although he apologized to
her later via text in the most polite way possible,
he made it clear that what had happened was a
mistake and he wasn't interested in pursuing anything romantic with her,
because any issues between them could create conflicts between my

(51:32):
wife and me in the long run.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
She was still furious.

Speaker 6 (51:36):
I had the opportunity to read their conversation, and I
can say he wasn't hurtful or cruel to her. He
apologized several times and repeated that it was all his
fault for not preventing things from going that far. But
I could understand that running out of a girl's apartment
and telling her that you basically don't want to have
anything to do with her after getting intimate was a
bad move. I was quite angry with him at first.
He shouldn't have been drinking to the point of being

(51:57):
unaware of his actions, but I didn't think that was
too big of a deal in the end, after all,
I had warned sister in law that this would happen.
Like an hour after I had spoken to Jake, sister
in law called my wife crying, saying he had used
her and was now throwing her away. I don't have
all the details of their conversation, but my wife was furious.
She was comforting her sister by calling Jake all kinds

(52:17):
of things. Meanwhile, I just resigned myself to wait for
everything to resolve by itself. In the end, sister in
law convinced my wife to ask me to cut off
all contact with Jake and thus prevent the two of
them from crossing paths again.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
Of course I didn't agree.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
Ooh tricky, which she's tricky.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
I agree.

Speaker 6 (52:35):
You don't cut off a day one friend just because
someone's like I.

Speaker 4 (52:39):
Just can't see them.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
Yeah, but I wouldn't really pissed on my fleg. This
is like this, Jake's an f boy and he needs
to he needs to kind of sort out his stuff.
I'm not saying cut him off or anything. They're day
one friends, but uh, i'd be like, dude, what are
you doing? Proposal though I told you, even though I'm like,
I don't know if you should have said anything in
the first place, he said, don't mess with sister in
law and then he did any way, and then he

(53:02):
heard her.

Speaker 6 (53:03):
It's not only was he told that, but sister in
law was informed like, hey, yeah, mess around, this guy
gonna get hurt. Snack and ann well, dude, it's it's
not what you want. She was like, I'm not gonna
listen to that. That would not only be a punishment
for him, but also for me. He was like a
brother to me, and I didn't think it was fair
for him to bear all of the blame. Not to mention,
I would have to lose one of my best friends.

(53:23):
The best I could offer was to stop inviting him
over to our house and to not mention him in
front of my wife or sister in law. My wife
reluctantly agreed, and for several years I only got to
see my friend a couple of times every other month,
and even less. When my son was born, I started
working from home to take care of the baby, and
so my wife wouldn't have to bear the entire burden.
W op a couple of years later, when she became

(53:43):
pregnant with my daughter and had to remain on bed
rest until birth due to some health issues. Communication between
Jake and I switched to strictly by phone. Two weeks ago.
I finally felt enough time had passed since the incident,
which was six years ago, and it wouldn't be a
problem inviting him over again. I told my wife I
wanted to hold to get together at our house and
invite my brothers and their families over, including Jake. She

(54:04):
thought it was an excellent idea. Most of them had
children almost the same age as ours, and it could
result in a very fun evening. We all got prepared
and the day arrived, and finally, after years, I was
able to get together with all my best friends like
old time. The children were playing together in the backyard
while my bros, their partners, and I were enjoying the barbecue.
Everything was going well until I heard my wife's mischievous

(54:25):
laugh behind me. She had left the house shortly after
Jake's arrival. She was looking towards the entrance and sister
in law was coming in wearing a very tight and
revealing dress and was walking towards us in a triumphant
parade while looking subtly towards Jake's direction with a cocky smirt.

Speaker 3 (54:42):
Dude, that's kind of embarrassing. It's been six years and
six years and you had one you hooked up once.

Speaker 6 (54:49):
She sat next to my wife and didn't say anything
at first, so we just continued chatting. But then as
we were talking about how much our lives have changed
after marriage, she started throwing comments about and how stupid
men can be letting escape the opportunity to have a
good woman by their side, just because they are afraid
of commitment, not realizing how lucky they may have been
until it's too late, all while posing like she was

(55:11):
the ultimate prize. So I guess both sister in law
and my wife were too busy with their show to
notice the rest of us exchanging uncomfortable looks, and even worse,
sitting next to Jake was his very pregnant wife. Dang,
he settled down to whom he has been married for
almost four years.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
That's really embarrassing to wait to be thinking about this
for six years. This is not like they dated for
a year. And he was like, Okay, come, this is
like one night, yeah that he doesn't remember.

Speaker 6 (55:40):
Yeah, not even a night to remember, a night to night,
a night to not remember. I cleared my throat, trying
to get my wife's attention, and whispered into her ear
who the woman whose presence she seemed unaware of was.
My wife turned red like a tomato and ran into
the house in horror, dragging her confused sister by the arm.
They did not return to the gathering, and I decided
to end it shortly after when everyone had left and

(56:03):
I put the kids to bed, I went to talk
to my wife and sister in law. They were in
the master bedroom, both rying in embarrassment. They, as in
both of them, had planned a show to annoy Jake,
believing he was still the same womanizing clown. They wanted
him to feel regret for rejecting sister in law. I
don't understand what they thought they would accomplish. Even if

(56:23):
he were still single after six years, the chances of
him feeling something for her, or even caring of her existence,
were far from certain. I told them that, and they
exploded in anger, blaming me for their humiliation. They believed
it was my fault for not informing them that he
was now married.

Speaker 3 (56:39):
You guys, as not to be told about Jake. These
women are embarrassing. These women are embarrassing.

Speaker 6 (56:46):
Jake's engagement and wedding happened during my daughter's risky pregnancy,
when my wife and I were too focused on trying
not to lose our baby, so I couldn't attend any
of the events. And I guess with everything going on,
I never got to tell my wife anything about my
best friend's romantic life, not to mention the fact they
literally explicit who told you to stop talking about him,
know anything?

Speaker 3 (57:04):
And also, you had a baby. You had a baby,
and your wife is acting like this too.

Speaker 4 (57:08):
Two babies, actually, yeah, cool.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
Babies, and she's like still focusing on this six.

Speaker 6 (57:13):
Year Yeah, sister in law. Wife and sister in law
are like the toxic duo. My wife and I were
the only ones at the barbecue, and sister in law
obviously who had not attended Jake's wedding, so sister in
law's behavior looked odd and overall ridiculous. Now I'm being
accused of causing their public shame by not telling them
about Jake's personal life. Honestly, I have no idea how

(57:34):
almost four years passed without the topic coming up in
any conversation between my wife and I. I think I
just got used to us not talking about him after
the incident. Even stranger is the fact that none of
my other friends or their wives who are close to
mine ever mentioned it either. I think we just kept
it a secret unintentionally. But we need to talk about
the fact that you can listen to full episodes with
stories like this one on Spotify, Apple podcasts, on iHeartRadio,

(57:59):
wherever you listen to. Just search Okay story Time and
we have twelve hundred and fifty plus hours of stories
for you to listen to at your own, you know,
at your discretion. Anyway, we do have a little bit
more story left, Sophia, do you have any anything to add.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
Your lordy, lordy, lordy. I would just be rethinking my
relationship a lot if I were Opie, which is concerned.
I mean, like, obviously this is not like divorce territory or anything.

Speaker 6 (58:23):
They have two kids, but yeah, it's definitely like why
do you get this way with your It seems like
it's like the sister.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
It's like, yeah, I'd be like, you need.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
To like rethink your or like reassess your relationship with
your sister, because clearly you guys are very obsessive when
you get together, and you need not like your sister
cannot be obsessing over this relationship that happens, like not
a relationship, this one night thing that happened six years ago.

Speaker 4 (58:46):
Why are you enabling your your sisters?

Speaker 6 (58:49):
You know, That's what I'd be like, why do you
feel like it's cool to enable her behavior in this way?

Speaker 4 (58:53):
Because that's not positive.

Speaker 3 (58:54):
Wouldn't you rather she find a nice man?

Speaker 4 (58:57):
Let's finish it off.

Speaker 6 (58:58):
So anyways, it's in two weeks and my wife is
still angry.

Speaker 4 (59:03):
Am I the a hole? And there is some PostScript here.

Speaker 6 (59:06):
Jake and his wife welcomed a pair of twins yesterday,
a May baby blessed edit. Those are our current because
we're all in our mid thirties, and I can understand
why she Jake's wife didn't notice her when they entered
the house. Jake and his wife were the last to arrive,
and the barbecue had been going on for a while.
My wife was in the kitchen when I rushed over
to greet them, and as soon as she heard Jake's voice,

(59:28):
she said she'd forgotten something and left. By this time,
they were out in the backyard greeting everyone else. Our
back door is in the living room, so my wife
didn't run into them when she left, But that doesn't
explain how she didn't notice Jake's wife when she came back.
The woman was sitting right next to him. It was
truly a WTF moment. And that is the end of
that story.

Speaker 3 (59:45):
Man, Omen, she's.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
Still mad at you after two weeks.

Speaker 3 (59:48):
Man, oh man, I mean she's still obsessed her, like
after six years. So these women know how to hold grudges,
and I'm.

Speaker 6 (59:54):
Arning, yeah, it's just like it just runs in the family.

Speaker 4 (59:58):
Grudge grudge, Yeah, I would just like if she's still mad,
it's like, all right, let's break this down.

Speaker 6 (01:00:03):
I did this to you, right, So for six years
I forced your sister to be obsessed with this guy
that I told her not to get involved with because
it would get her feelings hurt. And then I forced
you to also. I forced us to not talk about Jake,
which is what you said you wanted. You said, no
more talking, no talking about Jake.

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
So I did that.

Speaker 6 (01:00:23):
And now somehow it's my fault that y'all didn't know
Jake's wife was there, and you did this embarrassing little
You embarrassed yourself crying in the bedroom.

Speaker 4 (01:00:33):
Wild both the thing is in your thirties.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Like it would already be like insane that that's the
sister in law's crying, but like the wife is crying.

Speaker 4 (01:00:42):
I can't make it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
I can't believe.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
I can't believe my husband embarrassed us like this. It's crazy.
I need to grow up.

Speaker 7 (01:00:50):
I'm on now, Sam, here, we're gonna get back to
the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
My husband's father got a DUI and my in law
say it's our fault.

Speaker 6 (01:01:01):
Well, it looks like you're going to be going to
jail for your in laws now.

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
Seven years ago. I began dating my now husband Sam
when we were sixteen years old. When I met his mom, Sue,
things appeared to be great. Sue was a successful business
woman and the life of the party, entertaining us with gossip.
Looking back, it was extremely hurtful and over the toppling
high school girls and starting heart hurtful rumors about nice
neighbors who live next door. By the way, this comes

(01:01:25):
from obviously amish and if you want to smit your
own stories, go to our slash Okay storytime suppered it.
Two years went by and things were still great. His
parents would always take us out to dinner and bring
me along on trips. It would go to Mexico for
weeks at a time, and we now know they were
going to get wasted and probably do other substances. The
mom has an open painkiller prescription and hasn't had a

(01:01:46):
serious procedure in years. They would give Sam a talk
every time before they left. If anything were to happen
to us. Here's what would happen with the biz, the kids,
et cetera. We were always told not to tell people
they were gone, and we never really knew exactly why.
These disturbed Sam, making him feel like something bad was
going on. We were left to take care of their
younger kids, as my husband is the oldest, but we

(01:02:06):
didn't mind. We were teens in a nice house with
no parental supervision. We drove the kids to sports practices,
attended the games and performances, and did everything else a
parent would do. My husband has been doing this since fourteen. Yes,
even driving, Wow. We mostly Sam also did back to
school shopping for their kids for years, and we celebrated
the youngest kid's birthday on the same day. They always

(01:02:28):
managed to be gone for his birthday for longer than
I had been around, and for years to come. They
never missed Sam's birthday until Sam and I got married
and spent his birthday out of town. Don't worry, Sue
made sure to let me know they were devastated over it.
Things were great. We would watch their kids and they
would take us all on trips and out to dinners,
providing financial opportunities that is until I broke up with Sam.

(01:02:49):
We talked about marriage, but I wasn't sure I wanted
to be with him because it was a messy teen relationship.
It was a clean break. We ultimately agreed it would
be best to date other people and maybe revisit dating
each other in the future, so we broke up and
started going on other dates again. We lived practically next door.
Everything was fine until I started dating the guy with
the nice car. Suddenly Sue was sending her husband to

(01:03:10):
walk the dog, even though that was something he never did.
He would just stare at me and this guy when
he'd come to pick me up. Fast forward, Sam and
I got back together. Everything turned out well, and we've
been happily married, but not without some work. I assumed
everything would be okay. I thought Sue wanted the best
for us. Immediately there was trouble. Sue alerted Sam not
to get back together with me. She had heard from

(01:03:31):
someone that I had been engaged to the guy with
the nice car. That wasn't true. When it was suggested
that she was lying, she left the house and wouldn't
come back until people were on her side. After that,
I noticed Sam would only bring me around when his
parents were asleep. I also noticed his siblings starting to
turn on me, blaming their friend problems on Sam and
me getting back together. They're like, Mercury is in retrogade

(01:03:52):
and Sam and Oh Pierre back together, So my friend
group is not working out.

Speaker 6 (01:03:56):
Yeah, your relationship shifts the entire Glowe Mobal relationship axis.

Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
They even worked that out.

Speaker 6 (01:04:03):
Yeah, everyone, everyone's dynamic is in shambles because Oh Pie's back.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
I'm assuming it was Sue working on them to make
me feel unwelcome. Months later, when our paths finally crossed,
she looked at me like I was gum on her shoe.
She didn't speak to me for six months. I was
in agony over this because I didn't know what I
had done to deserve all this. Surely I had done something.
One day, she randomly came around, acting as if nothing
had happened, like we were the best of friends. Her

(01:04:32):
shutting me still hasn't been mentioned to this day. She
began giving me gifts and taking me on trips again.
All was well until Sam and I got into an argument.
He confided in his mom and instantly knew it was
the last time he ever would. Yeah, that was a mistake.
That was a mistake.

Speaker 6 (01:04:47):
Yeah, don't run to your mom to be like mae
my relationship fight me fight yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
She texted my mom, Sam and I were nineteen at
this point, and told her to make sure we stayed
apart for exactly two weeks. Not sure why two weeks.
My mom, a people pleaser like me, kindly declined, which
Sue responded, make it happen now. I was mad she
was ordering my mom around like one of her assistants
and trying to split us up. If being confused about
the unexplained silence for six months and lying about me

(01:05:15):
wasn't enough, this was. I didn't want to spend much
time around Sue, and Sam respected that. When we did
spend time around her, we were met by what I
now know were passive aggressive comments like you and i't
want to be on Sue's bad side. He he he
is this what Sue saying? The gifts I would receive
were also passive aggressive. After finding a pregnancy test in
Sam's truck, which had been wrapped up and tucked away,

(01:05:38):
Sue bought me maternity outfits. I then began noticing weird occurrences.
Sue had two or three female assistants, all way hot
and single. Sometimes I would drive around with Sam and
work for my laptop while he worked. He worked for
the family business. Sue would call demanding one of the
assistants needed help with something. Sue never knew. I was
with Sam and heard everything she would say. We'd show

(01:05:59):
up to her house where just the assistant would be waiting.
He was always something stupid. One time, one of the
assistants said, I don't know why your mom told you
I needed help moving the six pound Christmas tree loel.
There was a lot of weirdness around Sue and her assistance.
It's nothing I can prove, but I feel like she
was trying to get her beloved assistants and Sam together.
She always talked about these girls so highly around me.

(01:06:21):
Through all of this, we continued to be parents, which
gave me some good points with Sue because they invited
us on one of the Mexico trips with the friends
who had reconnected with Long story short. While in Mexico,
her friend and I talked. Sue had just stopped talking
to this friend Cold Turkey for five years and then
suddenly wanted to reconnect. She had no idea why I
then realized this was the woman Sue claimed was a crazy,

(01:06:43):
bipolar stalker, only I wasn't getting those vibes at all.
I still wonder if I should say something to the
friend Portly after this friend became the key to plentiful
financial opportunities for Sue's daughter. Weird timing mmmm, So Sue
who only gets back together or like lets people back
into her life when she.

Speaker 4 (01:06:59):
Needs them, Sue's She's a little schemer, Sue the schemer.
Schem and Sue.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
Time passed and Sue and I tolerated each other. Many
interactions were filled with passive aggressiveness, self and other demeaning comments,
and her playing the victim in every story. I'll admit
I hated Sue, but never stood up to her because
of my fear of conflict. I've noticed the rest of
the family is similar in this way, especially Sue's husband.
They have endured a lot of screaming and verbal abuse,

(01:07:25):
usually passed off as oh, I'm just a sarcastic person,
if excused at all. The way I retaliated and coped
with my confusion was just by not coming around often.
Fast forward, we got engaged up at their family cabin
When we came back to tell Sue, she kind of
acknowledged it, saying, well, you guys will probably have cute kits,
and then went back to changing the sheets on the bed.
When we invited them to celebrate, they declined, saying they

(01:07:47):
were too tired. Several minutes later, there were pictures posted
of me on her story telling her followers how excited
she was to get another daughter. So wait, so they're
telling you guys one thing, or like acting one way
towards you guys, and then and being all excited online.

Speaker 4 (01:08:01):
Yeah, the public face is like, we're so happy.

Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
Yeah, I don't care. I don't care about your babies.
The next few months of wedding prep were hchy, double
hockey sticks. I think she was on better behavior, but
I wasn't by much. I don't even want to get
into it all. One thing she was particularly pissed about
was that we were getting our own place and not
moving into their basement as we originally plan. No live

(01:08:25):
in babysitters. Again, very passive aggressive. I would never spend
that much money on such a small apartment. You guys
will probably just move in with us at some point,
don't move in with them. Whatever, you do, don't move
in with them. The wedding finally was over and we
went on our honeymoon, which was paid and planned for
by Sam's parents. It was very nice. We got back
just in time to watch their remaining kid so they

(01:08:47):
could go to their family cabins several hours away and
stay for a few weeks.

Speaker 4 (01:08:51):
Two weeks, they just left the room.

Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
What do you mean the remaining kid? They're like, I
don't know, the leftover one can stay with you.

Speaker 4 (01:08:57):
Yeah, you sep the leftover make sure the I.

Speaker 3 (01:09:00):
Don't know, he's like four years old. He's probably fine.

Speaker 4 (01:09:02):
I don't think he really needs water. I just think
he needs a little food.

Speaker 3 (01:09:06):
Yeah. Sometimes we will give him a pat on the
back and he's set.

Speaker 4 (01:09:10):
Very seldom, yeah, kind of like a cab.

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
Really, they didn't frequent Mexico as often because once the
cabin was finished, I think that's where they want where
they would unwind substances and alcohol, usually leaving Sam with
a lot of pieces to pick up with the business.
He was most definitely not being paid enough to run it.
We eventually told them we would no longer be parents.
If you're not gonna watch him, at least pick him
up and drop him off at school. He declined, she

(01:09:34):
had her assistance to it instead, more past aggressiveness. I
felt horrible, only because now the younger sibling was all alone,
left for weeks at a time, with an assistant to
check on him occasionally. Okay, fast forward again about six
months ago. I felt like it was going to explode
over this. Honestly, over the years when all of these
things were going on, I didn't really know what to think.

(01:09:55):
I felt confused. Yes, Sue was doing all of these things,
but I was taught to turn the other cheek and
give people a break who had hard childhoods et cetera,
automatically making me the one and the wrong for not
forgiving and not spending much time around her. My family
only knew the extremely generous and funny personality of Sue,
so when I confined it in them, it always made
me more confused. Was I seeing things? Was I overreacting?

(01:10:18):
Was it all me? I finally lost it and said
I wanted to go no contact because of how confused
I was. Sam respected that within two weeks of no contact,
something happened that I wasn't expecting. My love for Art
came back two more weeks my migraines produced by ninety percent.
Sue went kind of quiet and at business meetings, according
to Sam, was more pleasant. I was starting to feel

(01:10:39):
like maybe things would end up okay and we could
reconnect at some point with a strong set of boundaries.
It all changed in an instance. A few months went
by and it all came crashing down. Sam's dad got
a duy driving back from the family cabin around one am.
Sam's phone started buzzing. It was Sue. She was hysterical
her husband had been a did after she sent him

(01:11:01):
home from the cabin. He claim she didn't know he
was wasted.

Speaker 4 (01:11:05):
I'm gonna go ahead and say I doubt that.

Speaker 3 (01:11:08):
She probably just didn't think he was, maybe at a level,
but like they go there for the explit like express
purpose of drinking and newing substances.

Speaker 4 (01:11:17):
It's like, sorry, I forgot what sobriety actually was.

Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
I don't know what the baseline is.

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Yeah, I thought it was. I thought we were all good.
I was wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:11:24):
Sam tried to calm her down, and she proceeded to say,
do you want to know why he did this? Do
you really want to know? It's because he's really, really sad.
Further contact revealed she was talking about him being sad
about our no contact. It felt like she was blaming us,
and guess what, I felt extremely guilty.

Speaker 4 (01:11:41):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:11:42):
I was close to ending the no contact. Thankfully, Sam
is the voice of reason in my life, and it
urged me not to. I eventually realized that these things
had happened before a few years back. Sam's dad got
sad then weeks did and started driving their car to
over one hundred through neighborhoods. They didn't get caught, wow,
but Sam had to physically restrain him.

Speaker 1 (01:12:03):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:12:04):
What was so eerie about the whole DUI situation was
when Sue's sister, another voice of reason, got in touch
with Sam. She was way more concerned about getting Sue
help than the very person who just got a DUI.
We still don't know why. Whatever it is, Sue's sister
knows more than we do. She probably thought she got
a foot in the door because after that she went
back to her old self. I think it's because Sam

(01:12:25):
didn't defend us when she was basically blaming the duy
on us. He also made a point to be nicer
to her after that. Neither of us saw a problem
until we realized she was given an inch and took
a mile. Sam immediately corrected himself in his behavior towards her,
and now she's gone radio silence in conclusion. Reading over this,
I'm more confident than ever. Sue is a covert, self

(01:12:46):
absorbed person. I think this because she's very different in
private than she is in public. She never asked me
about my career and got weird when I would talk
about it. There are a lot of people she's cut off,
her mother in law and father in law, her mom,
and many many others. All situations were I don't know
what happened. I didn't do anything and they were just
mean sort of things. She shunned me for an entire

(01:13:08):
day when I joked about Sam and I'm moving away.
She also tried to turn me against some of my family.
She's recently been sending my parents nice texts and gifts,
adding to their disapproval of our no contact situation. Oh
how I want to tell them everything, even going as
far as texting texting my mom on Christmas and not
texting Sam. She loves to sabotage things, wanting to take

(01:13:28):
down a bunch of cheerleaders instagrams when her daughter didn't
make it on the team. Wanting to ruin people's businesses
that she had tips with her husband is extremely codebendent
on her. She admitted to trying to prod people into
breaking down so they'd get arrested for something because they
were an annoying neighbor. WHOA, she's just scheming scheme after
scheme with this lady.

Speaker 4 (01:13:48):
To the schemer, dude, she lives up to the name.

Speaker 3 (01:13:50):
I mean, I'm sure there are many things that you
could sue or arrest get her arrested far well, you
need the evidence that's true. Dad is the problem. She
has sworn us to secrecy on things that would jeopard
eye her self image. Please share any thoughts or opinions.
I want to know I'm making the right decision by
going no contact, but it guts me seeing my husband
spend less time with his family. If we were to
reconnect at some point, would it be a big disaster?

(01:14:12):
What do I do about my parents not really supporting me?
Thanks for reading and PS. My mother in law and
father in law are fighting his duy in court, but
I know for a fact he was wasted. Do I
get involved. Given his past, I worry it could happen
again and maybe he even hurts someone and there is
an update. But I think my opinion is don't get
involved with any of this. Yeah, remove yourself, remove yourself

(01:14:33):
entirely from their life. I think op is like, I
don't know, like just this like idea that, Oh, I
feel bad because my husband doesn't want, like, isn't going
to be able to have a relationship with his parents.
He doesn't want one.

Speaker 4 (01:14:45):
They're not really built for it.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
It didn't they they like it parentified him since he
was fourteen. Yeah, he does not want a relationship with
his parents, and you pushing it is probably going to,
you know, make it worse because it seems like the
only one who's pushing anything or any sort of them
sort of involvement with his parents is you.

Speaker 4 (01:15:02):
And you don't need to. I don't need to, he
doesn't want to, and you don't need to.

Speaker 6 (01:15:05):
Get involved in the UI process or Yeah, it's like
they're gonna he's if you try to fight that, yeah,
good lue.

Speaker 4 (01:15:11):
Fighting the breathalyzer.

Speaker 3 (01:15:12):
I'm sorry, there's a breathalyzer. There's proof of him, you know,
probably driving, not only under the influence, probably driving recklessly, recklessly.

Speaker 6 (01:15:20):
And it just further, I think, uh like exemplifies their
perspective of just like I don't know this, like weird
self absorbed entitlement of like, well, of course we can
fight it and win because it's like that's just who
We don't deserve that, and we're I was fine, like, no,
there's dude, you were in the middle of a bender

(01:15:41):
and you did a dui.

Speaker 3 (01:15:42):
There's literally no way that they can fight that, Like
you know that they can disprove this in any way.
So just just you don't need like you don't they don't.

Speaker 4 (01:15:52):
Need more proof to imagine. The next part of the
story is like, well they went to court.

Speaker 6 (01:15:56):
They actually got paid twenty five thousand dollars for wrongful rest.

Speaker 1 (01:15:59):
Yeah, of that, I don't think.

Speaker 4 (01:16:01):
I don't think so though, I.

Speaker 3 (01:16:03):
Don't think so, But yeah, I think I think you
just stay out of it, stay no contact, don't get
involved with them, don't go see them, don't do nothing.
But there is an update. Long story short, my father
in law, Parker, got a DUI and my mother in
law Sue blamed it on me, going no contact and
subsequently Sam spending less time around them, I'm no contact.
Sam interacts with mother in law professionally because he works

(01:16:25):
for their family business and still interacts with his dad normally.
If you want to hear the full story on the
DUI situation, but we're anyway. Yesterday, my mother in law
called my husband Sam from their family cabin. My mother
in law and father in law used to go to
Mexico a lot to get wasted and do other substances.
We aren't sure what those substances are, but we know
she has an open opiate prescription for years and abuses xanax.

(01:16:47):
Sue calls Sam. She was very clearly intoxicated, slurring her
speech and would circle back around to things she had
already told.

Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
Um.

Speaker 3 (01:16:55):
Sam loses it. What the heck are you guys doing
up there? If you guys drive home wasted again and
I'm dragging you both to a facility. He goes on
to also voices concern over their decade long habit of
leaving the younger kids for weeks. Jim and Lucy, Sam's
the oldest of three, and took on the parental role
for weeks at a time from thirteen to twenty two.
Once we are married, we said no more. Now there's

(01:17:16):
just one sixteen year old at home. Jim, he's had
it the worst for sure. I mean, like, if you
guys were to do anything again, should have been calling CBS. Yeah,
like that should have.

Speaker 6 (01:17:25):
Been the child being neglected all the authorities.

Speaker 3 (01:17:29):
He should have called them. Years ago, I watched my
mother in law and father in law missus birthday for
like four or five years in a row due to
Mexico trips. Now he Jim claims not to mind them
leaving for weeks at a time, saying I have Becca,
his girlfriend. I didn't hear the conversation directly, just from Sam.
At some point my mother in law said, I miss
the way we used to talk. Sam. You mean you

(01:17:50):
miss me being your therapist. You would discuss things with me.
You should have been discussing with your husband. I can
attest to this. I've heard conversations in the past that
were very inappropriate. Sue, what do I do if Jim
is talking to weird people online? I need you to
go find Lucy. She's out path curfew. I want you
to drag her away in front of all of her
friends to embarrass her for being out path curfew.

Speaker 4 (01:18:08):
Oh, so you're just a terrible parent. That's cool.

Speaker 6 (01:18:10):
Oh you're so bad, that's cool. Yeah, that's that's a
great way. Yes, let's let's let's socially uh damage our
child and that'll teach them a lesson.

Speaker 3 (01:18:21):
We ended multiple dates early for the sake of punishing Lucy.
The best part is Lucy never actually did anything wrong,
always misunderstandings. Anyway, the conversation didn't end well. Sam was furious,
but wanted to make sure they weren't about to drive
home wasted and called his dad, also at the cabin.
The conversation went something like his dad asking Sam why
you thought he was so superior to everyone else. This

(01:18:41):
is now a running thing with both parents and both siblings.
They think we think we are better than everyone else,
mostly for Sam criticizing his parents parenting. Sam back down,
no apologizing for getting involved in parenting their kid. That's
that's wild to be like, I'm so sorry, you're right
parenting your kid because they made you parents their kid. Exactly,
they left you alone at fourteen to parent their kids.

Speaker 4 (01:19:04):
I am the parent, who are the child.

Speaker 3 (01:19:08):
When Sam inquired about the situation with Sue calling him
while she was intoxicated, Parker chalked it up to our
starting metopause. The craziest part is when Sam called me
to give me the rundown. It sounded like he believed
that he's been calling him intoxicated and showing these exact
behaviors for years. She only just started metopause. I'm sad
because Parker has always been the more reasonable, level headed one.

(01:19:30):
I lost so much respect when he offered that excuse.
Maybe he meant when she gets intoxicated, it's worse now
because she's starting metopause. So Sam apologized and ended the conversation.
I offered my opinion that yes, he shouldn't need to
be involved with that stuff. He's already been doing it
for years. But he doesn't need to apologize for being
mad about it because it's pretty messed up. He's not
going to change them anyway, So I feel like the

(01:19:52):
best thing he can do is just be a friend
to his younger brother and be there if he needs
to talk about it. Okay, the day goes on. Sam
didn't want to talk about the situation anymore, so we
decided to have a peaceful rest of the day. All
of a sudden, we're out grabbing some things at the
store and he just shuts down. I can tell when
something is wrong because he gets very cut and dry.

(01:20:12):
I asked him if he wanted to talk about it,
and he says, for now, all I need to know
was that he got a text that pissed him off.
He wanted to calm down and figure out what he
was going to do about it before telling me, because Sam,
you're gonna be so pissed off about this. A few
hours later he finally told me, and I was definitely
not happy. His family builds homes for a living, and

(01:20:33):
they are building one for my cousin, the Smiths right now.
We obviously love them and are fairly close with them.
A suscent a text to tell Smith they get a
two percent price increase. Your family friends get a two
percent price increase. It was very clear that this was
directly correlated to the conversations earlier that day. Okay, before
we go any further, some background. Supposedly they needed to

(01:20:55):
do a price increase on their home a few weeks ago,
but they figured out some way to make it disappear.
I think mother and and father in law, we're just
going to make less on the house. I cautiously paid
attention to see if this was kind. Indeed they were
doing to make up for the past stuff. However, I
was weary because they pretty much always manipulate and apologize
through money, which they have loads to throw around. So

(01:21:15):
they made it disappear to manipulate us into thinking they changed,
and then made it reappear to manipulate us into knowing
they haven't changed. What I think it's about. I think
they want to ward us off from getting involved in
their regular user time and child neglect. Maybe when Sam apologized,
they knew they could make him feel even more sorry.
I don't know, and you'll never be sorry when you

(01:21:35):
listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Just
get a Spotify and Apple podcasts or iHeartRadio and shout
you book the story time. But there is a little
bit left, and I am a little bit confused by
that last part. It seems like Opie and Sam have
some close like cousins who were It's like originally they
were kind of doing a favor for and were like, Oh,
we're gonna give you this like discounted house or something,

(01:21:56):
and then as punishment for Sam's behavior, op Sue and
Sue is like we're actually doing an increase on the price.
Now that is that.

Speaker 6 (01:22:04):
That's my understanding that it feels like they were like, well,
maybe we'll just take a little bit of a loss.

Speaker 4 (01:22:08):
And now that I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:22:09):
It's just the constant theme of like, instead of just
doing things themselves, they're like, you do it, when it's
like they should be the ones to do it.

Speaker 4 (01:22:16):
That's their it's their price increase, they're the ones.

Speaker 8 (01:22:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:22:19):
I think they're just like it to make ope's be
the bad guy.

Speaker 3 (01:22:23):
Regardless of what they're doing, it seems like they're they're
punishing op Sessman. That's like the main thing. But there
is a little bit left the story. My final thought
is call CPS on them, get this child away from them.
In conclusion, I'm extremely mad in hurting from my cousins.
Sam is the agent on their house, so he's not
going to charge them for his service. That should cover

(01:22:44):
most of the extra they were going to have to pay. Yeah,
so it does seem like originally they were supposed to
be getting a discount on this house and now they're
having to pay more. While this situation stinks, it made
my decision to go no contact more clear I have
battled with it relentlessly and made Sam's decision to leave
the family business easier. And after people read my post
and offered insight, it was a huge game changer for
my situation and helped me see more clearly. Again, if

(01:23:06):
you have any input for me, I would greatly appreciate it.
Anywhere you think Sam and I have been wrong, insight
into mother in law and father in law's behavior, et cetera.
Thank you in a blessed day. And that was the
end of that story.

Speaker 6 (01:23:17):
Yeah, I mean, I think addiction probably informs a lot
of absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:23:21):
I mean, there it seems like sometimes when you have
those problems and stuff, it's like you want to hoard
that money and like spend it on that and stuff,
and so there's probably also like money things surrounding this deal,
and then it's also trying to punish you.

Speaker 6 (01:23:35):
And yeah, yeah, not very not very high on the
parent totem pole.

Speaker 3 (01:23:40):
Now, probably the lowest on the parent totem pole.

Speaker 6 (01:23:44):
Pretty pretty pretty low, pretty pretty pretty low flying.

Speaker 3 (01:23:48):
But that is the end of that story.

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