I told my boyfriend’s brother to get a job… or move out! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:17):
I told my boyfriend's brother to get a job or
move out.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Get a job, a freeloader.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Get a job.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Brokey, my boyfriend will call Sean and I have been
together for four and a half years. In that time,
his brother, Brandon has held two jobs for maybe a
month each. Brandon's days at his mom's house consisted of
gaming and sleeping. This bothered me because Shawn's mom would
pay for Brandon's gaming equipment door dash, video games, et cetera.

(00:45):
And I was simply jealous. I wanted to be him
and not have any responsibility. But it was easy to
cope because he was living with his mom, not with me.
By the way, this comes from User Ready System six'
five one one and if you want to submit your own,
stories go to the rt Slash Okay storytime supreated It I'm, Dakota.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'm, angie And I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Keon according To sean and his, Mom brandon was really
social before THE vid and had goals and. Aspirations then
the pandemic hit during his senior. Year he didn't get
a graduation and all of his ambition passed. Away he's
succumbed to severe social anxiety and has trouble leaving the.
House he had a job at a grocery store for a,
month but quit after his boss took his. Phone then

(01:24):
got a job delivering, pizza but had a horrible anxiety
attack after delivering the wrong pizza and. QUIT i would
be more empathetic to his mental health struggles if he
wasn't an a. Hole his whole family accepts that he
is an a hole and, says, well that's just how
he's always. Ben he's blunt and short, tempered AND i
don't like the way he treats his. Cat he would
wake up game ordered doort, ash take it to his

(01:45):
room and, eat and then continue.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
Gaming sometimes he would go to the.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Gym this took a huge toll on his mental, health
and he was self harming for a.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
Period he wrote a note told his mommy.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Needed, help so she got him some, help but the
cat stayed in the basement all day by, himself and
it just made me.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Sad here's where we are, Now.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
February shawn And brandon's dad has severe health issues which
cause him to become, delusional and he thinks their mom
is poisoning. Him their mom Has brandon move in with.
Us we're living in a two, bedroom two bath apartment
with four. Cats mom tells us it's only for a
few weeks while she figures out what's.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
Going on with.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
DAD i give up my brand new DESK i just
got for my, birthday So brandon has a place for
his gaming, setup AND i give him my bean bag
so he has somewhere to.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
SLEEP i did this BECAUSE i was under the impression
this would be a few Weeks.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
MARCH i ask for an, update And i'm Told dad
has follow up doctor appointments. Scheduled mind, you this man
has been dipping since age, thirteen is now fifty six
to fifty seven and swallows his dips. Bit he's also
been drinking a handle of jack a. Week he had
to stop dipping cold turkey and consume less booze because
of the health. Issues he also has mental health, issues

(02:49):
so it's just not a good, situation AND i was very. Understanding,
April brandon is still living with, us no end in.
Sight i've been trying to get my brother to move
in with us for about two. Years my, Brother Tony,
mail was in a bad relationship and my mom isn't
a great, mom SO i wanted my brother to live with,
us to be in a new environment with a good support.
SYSTEM i finally convinced my brother to move, in and

(03:11):
we're getting closer to the date we agreed, on which
Is july. FIFTH i Ask sean what the plan. Is
he says he doesn't, know BUT i should ask his.
MOM i text her saying my brother is planning to
move in On july fifth and wants to know the
plan With. Brandon she says That brandon actually wants to
keep living with. Us, Well, brandon it's time to not do.
That you don't get to always get what you.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Want, yeah why are we not talking To brandon directly?

Speaker 4 (03:32):
Too why are we fully Grown? Brandon?

Speaker 2 (03:35):
YEAH i talked To sean and SAY i don't want
to live With, brandon And sean, says If brandon doesn't
get to live with, us then neither does my.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
BROTHER i say that's. FINE i text my.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Brother and tell him he can't move in BECAUSE i
don't want to live With. Brandon sean breaks down and
says he still Wants brandon to live with us because
he's worried About brandon's mental health and he's afraid his
mom won't see the. Signs the joke here is That
i'm slowly deteriorating. MENTALLY i too struggle WITH, adhd WHICH
i believe causes my anxiety and. Depression there was a
two month period WHERE i was having an anxiety attack

(04:04):
before work every, morning BUT i still had to go to,
work which is where my resentment For brandon comes.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
From but, FINE i get.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
IT i Tell sean that's, fine But brandon needs to
get a, job and we're getting a house Because i'm
done living in an. Apartment we need space for, ourselves the,
cats And. Brandon shawn, agrees and we loosely set a
date For brandon to have a job By june twenty First,
May brandon doesn't seem to be applying for, jobs but
apparently applied for two to three jobs in the month Of.
May brandon continues his schedule of waking, up, gaming going

(04:33):
to the gym With, sean coming home, gaming and going to. Bed,
june we have found a house and are rapidly Approaching
june twenty. First sean didn't Tell brandon he needed a
job by this. Date our closing is set For july twenty.
FIRST i Tell sean That brandon has Until july twenty,
first And sean says that's. UNREALISTIC i, say that's, fine
that just come up with a date. Yourself sean takes
a few, days comes back and, Says august twenty.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
First.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
FINE i text my brother before we drop off our
earnest money to make sure we're still good For july,
fifth and he, says, ACTUALLY i don't want to move.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
In i'm.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
LIVID i go home for lunch And i'm venting To
sean about how PISSED i, am And brandon overhears me
and Tell sean he'll do whatever it takes to make
sure we can get into this. House sean AND i
decide my brother isn't allowed to move in with us
for a. While we did not plan on getting a
house this. Year we got a house Because brandon and
my brother both said they wanted to live with. Us
we got a house that would fit all of. Us

(05:26):
we can't afford the payment. Ourselves but had my brother
taken the OPPORTUNITIES i gave him to tell me he
didn't actually want to move, in we would have gotten
a different. House july home, closes we move. In we
get sick the week we're supposed to, move so tensions are.
Hot i'm getting impatient Because brandon still doesn't seem to
be applying for any. Jobs sean AND i have gotten
into countless fights at this point Over brandon needing a,

(05:46):
job And sean's saying he's, trying but it's hard for.
Him my brother comes down to help us move and
apologizes for backing. Out he says he does want to move,
in just not right. NOW i had had a little
couple drinking poos during this conversation because my dad AND
i were. Selling i'm excited BECAUSE i do really want
to live with my. BROTHER i ask him what day
and tell HIM i need a. Timeline this is the
LAST i speak of It. August we are now in

(06:09):
the month Of. AUGUST i have Asked sean numerous times
if he still intends to Hold brandon accountable On august twenty.
First he assures me every time that he, will and
that If brandon doesn't have a, job he will be moving.
Out i'm getting nervous because it's the fifteenth And i've
heard zero new updates on a. Job but Also i'm
in the mindset, OF, ah don't, know don't care Until
august twenty. First thanks to my therapist who pointed out

(06:31):
how exhausting this is to me this Past, SATURDAY i
Ask sean Because i'm genuinely concerned and want to know
what's going to. Happen sean admits that he still has
not talked To brandon about needing a.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
Job on the twenty, first, However brandon.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Has been waking up still at noon and door dashing
occasionally for two to four hours a day and has
the money to pay us his portion of the. MORTGAGE
i stay calm because we're on the way to a
birthday party And i'm just trying to have a good. Time,
Also i'm broke right, now so four hundred dollars off
mortgage payment sounds real.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
Nice right.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Now, Sunday i've had time to digest the, conversation and
NOW i have. Questions what Was sean's plan come the twenty.
First what was he planning to tell?

Speaker 4 (07:10):
Me are You i'm?

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Sorry are you have you had zero communication yourself with
this guy who's living in your?

Speaker 3 (07:16):
House like that's what it sounds. Like it's blowing my.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Mind Would sean just like look at you and not?
Respond like would he just curl up into a ball
and refuse to? Interact what's going? On he's been promising
That brandon will no longer live with us if he
does not have a job by the twenty. First i'm
in the shower arguing in my head With, Sean, brandon
and their.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Mom sean comes in and asks me what's.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
WRONG i gather my thoughts and tell Him brandon has
Until october first to get a job or move. Out
brandon is to apply to ten jobs a day or
he will not be up late. Gaming we're going to
dinner with his mom On, tuesday And i'm laying all
of this out. Today sean texts his mom EVERYTHING i,
said Everything i've been, feeling and Everything i'm frustrated with
and says it like this is all my. Idea he

(07:57):
sends me a screenshot not of the tech he, sent
but of her. Response she basically Says brandon has bad
anxiety and that setting a date Of october first will stress.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
Him out and push him to the.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Limit that he's been more motivated recently and has been
door dashing and getting up earlier still, noon and he
is making money for himself and to pay his portion
of the.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Mortgage mind, you his mom.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Decided herself that he would pay four, hundred not me
And sean Her sean agreed that four hundred is. Enough
WHEN i brought up to him THAT i don't think
four hundred is. Enough our mortgage is seventeen hundred and fifty.
Dollars four hundred is not enough to cover his portion
of the mortgage plus utility bills because he's home all
day gaming and leaves the lights on and leaves his
computer running when he's not using.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
It blah blah.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Blah shawn AND i got into an argument today And
shawn Says i'm moving the goalpost because of what my
standards are for a. Job they've been the same this whole,
time and THAT i can overlook what my brother, did
BUT i can't Overlook. Brandon every argument we've had About,
Brandon sean brings my brother into. IT i feel the
only similarity between their situations is their struggle with mental,
health and that's. IT i Ask sean WHAT i need

(08:59):
to do so he quits complaining about the situation with my.
Brother he gets upset AND i, said he's complaining about
my brother and then, says my brother needs to apologize
to him for dropping out of moving in at the last.
Second but he doesn't want my brother to apologize BECAUSE
i told him. To he wants my brother to just
know he should apologize to. HIM i, said, fine my

(09:19):
brother won't move in until he. Apologizes brandon has Until
october first to get a job or move, out and
if he, Doesn't i'm moving.

Speaker 4 (09:26):
OUT i will still pay my portion of the.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
Mortgage sean hasn't responded to my text because he called
his mom and told his mom about the whole. Conversation
sean forgot the ring camera was still, inside SO i
kept getting ring camera notifications that someone was at the.
Door and this is Where i'm definitely an a. HOLE
i listened to their conversation for an hour over the ring.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
CAMERA a week.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Ago sean told me that if it came down to
me Or, brandon he would choose me. Today he told
his mom that IF i don't like, IT i can.
Leave he didn't KNOW i was, listening, though SO i
feel this was set in. ANGER i don't know any
advice is. Welcome as loud AS i CAN possi simply say.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
It. LEAVE i know.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
This is The, internet but it would be great if
you could be gentle with the. Advice this whole situation
has been a nightmare for. ME i don't even know
Who i'm dating. Anymore, yeah and that's the end of that. Story,
YEAH i don't think you should be dating. Them, yeah
you should leave.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
THEM i went on a date with my.

Speaker 5 (10:16):
Friend Now i'm.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Devastated.

Speaker 6 (10:19):
Ouch i've known this guy through mutual friends for around fifteen.
Years we're both in our mid thirties. Now we've never
talked much one on, one but he's always been in
my periphery And i've had a rather large crush on.
HIM i was never sure if the feeling was, mutual
despite some long lingering stairs and eye contacts across an occasional. Party,
Truthfully i've always thought that he was too cool for.

(10:40):
Me by the, way this comes From zoe Ash and
if you want to submit your own, stories go to
the r Slash okay storytime At Separated it And I'm, Angie.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
I'm, dakota And I'm, keon And op.

Speaker 6 (10:49):
Says after THE, VID i stopped spending much time with
that friend, Group so it had been almost five years
SINCE i had seen. Him imagine my shock and excitement
WHEN i saw that he slid into MY dms yuh.
Oh we made the usual small talk of our messages
for he eventually asked me on a proper date a week.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
Later our date was this Last, friday and it was.

Speaker 6 (11:09):
Amazing just seeing him again was. Perfect he looks the,
same just as handsome as. Ever we laughed almost NonStop
as we got caught up over the past decade of our.
Lives he confessed over dinner that night to always having
a crush on me, too and remembering the years of
the lingering eye. Contact he told me about how he
told a new group of friends about me when they
asked for his weekend, plans and how excited he was

(11:31):
for a. Date after, dinner he invited me back to
his place for a. MOVIE i let him know THAT
i wouldn't be sleeping with, him SINCE i don't sleep with.
Anyone on the first, date BUT i wanted more time with,
him and he assured me that that's all he wanted
To at his, place he borrowed me sweats and we.
Cuddled he didn't make a move until after the, movie
where all we did was makeup ew. Ew once it was,

(11:54):
late we wound up in his, bed where we continued
to make out but also. Talked here's Where i'm SURE
i fed up. EVERYTHING i tend to be a. Yapper
we joked a little bit about how much he hunts
AND i was vegan for a. WHILE i, SAID i
understand the hunting because it can be a peaceful, activity
the sitting and, waiting And i've even been on hunting trips.
BEFORE i just said THAT i didn't understand the pride and,

(12:14):
killing and he assured me that that's not what it
was about for.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
Him the whole tone seemed light and.

Speaker 6 (12:19):
Silly we talked about all of our favorite, things favorite, colors,
numbers favorite, constellations favorite. FOODS i like some pretty bizarre
out there food, combinations so we poked fun at me for.
That we both kept saying how crazy it was that
we connected so well after knowing each other for fifteen
years and never doing anything about it. Before he kept
saying how much he wanted to see me, again nudging

(12:41):
me to check my work schedule and see WHEN i was,
free making comments about how close he lived my work
and HOW i could come over some. Night he'd buy
my favorite bottle of wine and grill me up steak
or veggie bird, burgers WHATEVER i. Wanted at one point he,
Said i'd like to see where this can. Go i'm
looking for something long term and not just. Tonight we
talked a little bit of our last relationships and why they.

(13:01):
Ended the whole thing was feeling very, serious and, again
me being, ME i had to. YAP i told HIM
i had a, confession one that sucked to, make but
that if we were to build, SOMETHING i had to be.
HONEST i told him, that like eight or nine years,
AGO i slept a mutual friend of ours who asked
me to keep it a. Secret immediately, after he said
that that was.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
No big deal at, all and we're all adults with.

Speaker 6 (13:22):
Pasts he also said why any guy wouldn't be proud
to sleep with you is beyond. Me you've always been
one of the most generous Women i've ever, known which
is a big reason THAT i never made a move.
BEFORE i told Him i'd always thought he was too
cool for. Me by the time we settled down to
go to, sleep the sun was starting to come. UP a,
wow and my stomach hurt from. Laughing that's, cute he.
Gause it's just up all night. Talking he made a

(13:44):
comment that his cheeks were sore because he couldn't stop.
Smiling he held me in his arms the entire. Night
the next, morning when we woke, up he pulled me
tighter for some more, kisses and WHEN i looked at,
him he.

Speaker 3 (13:54):
Just had the biggest grin THAT i had ever.

Speaker 6 (13:56):
SEEN i just love looking at. YOU i could look
at you, forever he told. Me we started kissing, more
BUT i stopped us things were getting hot and, heavy
still not ready to sleep with, him. Obviously at one
POINT i looked off into the distance out the, window
and he said THAT i looked, thoughtful then asked IF
i was okay and thinking good, thoughts to WHICH i
assured HIM i was a little, LATER i told HIM
i had to, go and he offered to drive me

(14:17):
across town where my car was still parked at the.
Restaurant he held my hand the whole, way, back telling
me that he was free all, week except he had
family in town that he'd have to make a little time.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
For this was not new. Information he had mentioned it
the night.

Speaker 6 (14:28):
Before he, said as soon AS i gave him my,
schedule we could figure out time to see each, other
confirming wine. Choices at one POINT i complained about, traffic
and he held my hand, tighter saying that he was
just happy to have more time with. Me when we
got to my, car he gave me several. Kisses even
WHEN i pulled, away he grabbed me and kissed me.
MORE i told him That i'd confirmed my work schedule
WHEN i got home and texted to him right. AWAY

(14:50):
i had no doubt in my mind that i'd see
him again and. SOON i did WHAT i, said AND
i texted him my schedule WHEN i got, home BUT
i didn't hear. BACK i texted him later in the
evening and HIS i was, polite but not.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
Flirty what's going on? Here this sounds pretty suspicious.

Speaker 4 (15:06):
Hot and you'll co, yeah oh.

Speaker 6 (15:08):
Yes note it was such an amazing start to the.
Story but of Course reddit is here for, problems SO
i always it's gonna it's starting to go, DOWNHILL i.
Fear here's WHERE i made another possible. MISTAKE i asked
my sister for advice on what to text. HIM i
was excited and wanted to ask him out. Again she
didn't think THAT i should send him a text that

(15:28):
started with, okay, Fine i'll just say this to him
instead new, verse AND i didn't realize THAT i left
that note to my sister in the. Text he, replied
but didn't call out my, mistake SO i never caught
it and never got to. Explain we sent a few
more texts back and, forth and he never confirmed the
EVENINGS i told HIM i was. Free then the next
day he had a family emergency regarding the family here

(15:49):
to visit and has been checked out ever. Since he
did go into vague, detail AND i told him to
let me know if he needed. ANYTHING i reaffirmed THAT
i would still like to see him, again but decided
to take his time with the family stuff in the.
Meantime the last TEXT i got from him Was, Monday, hey,
gorgeous more details about the family, emergency and ending With
i'd love to see you, again But i'm not sure
when that will be As i'm a bit anxious right.

(16:10):
Now the last thing either of us said was my
response to, THAT i understand wishing your family, well Now
i'm feeling. CONFUSED i can't imagine anyone lying about the
type of family emergency he. Explained but also it's nothing
that should keep him this. Preoccupied SO i can't help
but think that, maybe just maybe he exaggerated things to
get out of seeing me, again unless it's a rare

(16:32):
worst case. Scenario i'm obviously blaming myself now for the
date being a little too, honest a little too, quirky
and pokeing a little too much fun involving the hunting.
Thing looking back and searching for signs on WHAT i did,
wrong that's WHEN i found the glaring text. Mistake OH
i never get this wrapped up in a first. DATE
i think part of it is THAT i had always
secretly hoped THAT i would get the chance to go
on a date with, him AND i feel like now the,

(16:54):
experience in the build up of fifteen years came and
went so fast that part of me almost wishes that
it never. Happened to the date itself lived up to
all of the EXPECTATIONS i had and then. Some AND
i also believed that the feelings were, mutual but now
it feels Like i'm in the center of a very strategic.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
Slow fade and it's.

Speaker 6 (17:11):
DEVASTATING i feel Like i'm mourning an, idea a what
if THAT i held on to for a long. Time
so any advice, Please and there are some, comments but
what would your advice?

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Be i'd be more like direct about in front of, him, like, hey,
Mister i'm glad there's traffic so i get to spend
more time with.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
You did you mean anything that you? Said?

Speaker 2 (17:28):
Yeah did you mean any of? That or did you
just lie to me? Yeah or were you just love bombing?

Speaker 6 (17:34):
Me, yeah it's very it's, possible but we have a
consensus from the. Commenters they Tell op to wait for
him to reach, out and they also advise her to
think if the roles were, reversed.

Speaker 3 (17:44):
What would she do in his? Situation and we do
have an.

Speaker 6 (17:48):
UPDATE i was feeling pretty good all day yesterday about
my resolve to not text. HIM i went to, work
to the, gym and WHILE i was, SAD i didn't
let myself. Mope in the, EVENING i got a, text
not from, him but from my ex WHOM i dated
ten years.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
Ago were still close and talk.

Speaker 6 (18:03):
Often, okay he's one of the most, jaded realist PEOPLE
i know and never sugarcoats anything for. Me IF i
can count on one person to truly tell me how it,
is even if it, hurts it's. HIM i explained a
bit of my situation to, him told him about the,
date the immediate, aftermath and the family, emergency without going
into many. Details, AGAIN i want to respect his family's
privacy BECAUSE i never doubted the validity of the, story

(18:25):
just the severity with. Timing his advice texts the. Man,
actually his exact words, were modern dating is. Crap but
you don't have to Be you believe the family, Emergency
so who cares if he's just not that into you
show up and support him because that's what good people,
do and.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
You're a good. Person SO i.

Speaker 6 (18:40):
DID i texted him asking for an, update then offered
to bring him adult soda from a local brewery and
pizza from the place that he told me he loves
on my free night next week take his mind off.
THING i showed up with genuine, care intention and a,
plan and it. Worked he texted back immediately a, long
full update on the, situation an apology for leaving me
hanging and suggestions for pizza. Toppings we texted late into the,

(19:03):
night until it was me that finally suggested that we
both go to. Bed his texts were no longer just,
polite but had a flirty edge again and. Excitement, OBVIOUSLY
i can't predict where things will go from, here but
let this serve as a reminder that sometimes you should
send that. Text leaving the ball in their court isn't
always the best. Option we've got a comment From. Opee
the family emergency has unfortunately not, passed and now THAT

(19:25):
i have the full, details it's no mystery to me
why he And mia for a few. Days they are
still very much in the thick bit and we've only
technically been on one. Date i'm sure it feels heavy
to include someone new in what's going, On but the good, news,
however is that it will pass and hopefully, soon probably
just in time for our. DATE i have no doubt
in his interests for me, anymore but do plan to

(19:46):
still protect my. HEART i doubt he's really focused on
anything other than his family, stuff so the most important
THING i can do right now is to just show
up and support. Him just be, yourself just be yourself
if he you, know isn't interested in. YOU i feel
like this overthinking definitely could be a wake up call
of how much value you're putting in this. Situation and

(20:07):
it can still be very, valuable but it is a
good time to reflect, on, Like, HEY i need to
not like put my self worth into this situation and
into his text.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
Messages, Yeah i'm no longer interested in marriage because my
boyfriend took too.

Speaker 4 (20:21):
Long you, snooze you lose.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
BUDDY i thirty three, female have been in a ten
year relationship with my Boyfriend, carl thirty three. Male after
the first year of our, RELATIONSHIP i made it very
clear THAT i intended to be a wife. Someday by
the TIME i was twenty, EIGHT i started to remind
him of my goals and, expectations And carl told me
that while he knew he wanted to marry, me he
just wasn't ready yet and didn't like HOW i was

(20:43):
pressuring him and called me. Controlling, eventually we broke, up
but six months later we got back together and even moved.
It by the, way this comes from user device known
forty five hundred and if you want to submit your own,
stories go to the r Slash okay storytime separate.

Speaker 4 (20:56):
It I'm, Dakota I'm, angie And I'm. Keon looking back.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
On it, NOW i realized that that wasn't the best,
decision BUT i was so emotionally attached to this man
and felt so invested THAT i was willing to go
back to. Him carl AND i have now been living
together for four, years and WHILE i stopped being happy
about it after the first six, months living with him
isn't a bad. Experience, PLUS i always thought that us
getting married was just around the, corner because he said

(21:22):
he was ready to commit to, me but he wanted
to wait for the right time BECAUSE i deserved a
perfect proposal and a more stable. Husband i've been going
to therapy for the past two years and recently had an.
Epiphany since, CHILDHOOD i have always wanted a, wedding but
never really gave much thought to being a married woman
twenty four to seven and what that would. Mean given
my country shift in politics and new laws that politicians

(21:45):
are trying to, PASS i realized that not only AM
i fine with never getting, married But i'm starting to
lean more into no longer possessing the desire to do.
It since, then it feels Like i've been set free
in a way and started focusing on. Myself one of
the major things That i've done is Tell carl That
i'll no longer assist with babysitting his nephews and niece

(22:05):
and instead focus more of my time into getting certified
in something to increase my earning potential and just. Relaxing
carl seemed nonchalant about it at, first but then said
that we needed to have a sit.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
Down WHEN i Sent carl's mom and his brother a.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
Text that they had three weeks BEFORE i stopped helping out,
Completely carl said that while he understands my desire for
more personal, time it's important to be there and sacrifice for.
FAMILY i told him that he could switch around his
own work schedule and help with the kids since they're
technically his, family and he said that the children loved
me and that one day they'd be my family, too
once we were man and. Wife it was in that

(22:39):
moment THAT i told HIM i no longer desired, marriage
and WHILE i gave my, Reasons carl still took it
as me wanting to break up with him and or
thinking that he would make a terrible.

Speaker 4 (22:48):
Husband that is not the case at.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
All but he's starting to lash out and get, suspicious
AND i just don't know what to. Do how CAN
i get my boyfriend to see that it's, me not.
HIM i don't believe he wants to get, married or
if he, does it's LIKE i don't, know he's waiting
until maybe his earning goes up or his financial stability goes.

Speaker 4 (23:04):
UP i don't.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
Know, YEAH i would need to be like, Up so
why didn't you marry me five years, ago eight years,
ago seven years, ago two years, ago one year?

Speaker 4 (23:11):
Ago why haven't you married? Me why didn't we get?
Married what are you hoping?

Speaker 6 (23:14):
To because if you said that he wanted to be
like in a better state to be able to do,
That like what is he waiting?

Speaker 3 (23:20):
For what does he what are his?

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Goals, yeah and then you can just be, like, Look
i've just been going to therapy AND i REALIZED i
don't need to get.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
MARRIED i don't even really want to get married.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
Anymore, yeah it has nothing to do with you probably
took ten years to marry.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
ME i would have realized the same.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Thing, Okay so things were a little tense over the
next few days because we were either fighting or just
not talking to each. Other he even moved into the
spare bedroom one, day and he stopped giving me money
for his share of the streaming services that we both
use AND i technically pay. FOR i even got to
meet his mom and brother for a little. Bit, then
Once Valentine's day was right around the, corner he did

(23:54):
a complete one to eighty and started speaking to me
again and even apologized for his initial.

Speaker 4 (23:58):
Reaction heemed really respective to hearing my.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Reasons he then told me he planned a special day
for us the weekend After Valentine's, day WHICH i was
delighted to. Hear on the day, OF i woke up
to him, gone but with breakfast laid out for me
and a text message saying that there was a work
emergency and that he had to go in for a
couple hours and told me to go meet him at
the movie theater downtown by three.

Speaker 4 (24:20):
PM i thought. COOL i chilled for a, bit then
got ready and headed. Out by two fifty five.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
PM i sent him a text message asking where he
was and responded by saying he accidentally typed the wrong
time and that the movie wouldn't start until five, pm
and he meant was that he wouldn't be able to
leave work until three. Pm he's had a case of
fat fingers and butt dials, before SO i initially didn't
think much and just decided to go walking around by
the outlet mall close by to kill some. Time THEN

(24:46):
i got another text saying that he'd changed our online
ticket reservations because he was still stuck at the office
and to just chill until seven. Pm this TIME i grew,
suspicious but instead of calling or texting back with, QUESTIONS
i just gave him a thumbs up and send a
selfie of me at one of my favorite.

Speaker 4 (25:02):
Stores then started to drive back.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
Home, normally getting back to our apartment from the downtown
area WHERE i was at around this time of day
on a weekend can be a bit of a, challenge
but today traffic was. Decent then WHEN i pull up
to the, COMPLEX i see a moving.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Truck no big. Deal January february.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Is when a lot of people have moved out were in,
before SO i, understood why DID i see some Of
carl's friends near the? Truck why DID i see some
Of carl's friends moving the couch THAT i paid for
into the.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
Truck what is, Happening what is.

Speaker 4 (25:29):
Happening he's stealing her? Stuff, ooh he's. Stealing, ooh he's.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Stealing this feels like it's coming out of.

Speaker 4 (25:37):
Nowhere, yeah feels. Psychotic.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
YEAH i called the police and told them THAT i
was actively being ROB i stayed in the car for a,
while trying to calm myself, down UNTIL i Saw carl
helping a man load my bookshelf into the back of
his pickup.

Speaker 5 (25:50):
Truck oh my.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
GOD i got out and confronted.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Him this man was trying to keep me out of
the apartment all day so he could quietly move out
and take my. Furniture AND i say my furniture BECAUSE
i was the one who picked it all out and
paid for most of, everything AND i readily shared the email,
confirmation order, numbers and receipts.

Speaker 4 (26:05):
THAT i had.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
Archived when the police showed, up the man tried to
take my bookshelf because Apparently carl had sold it to,
him but that wasn't my, problem and That i'd press
charges on everyone if my stuff wasn't back in my.
Place we got into a huge, argument and the police
tried to brush this off as a civil matter Since
carl AND i lived. Together BUT i went into the
station the next day and spoke to a female officer
who was of better. Help my dining room, set, spices

(26:27):
blender of grocer's, LAPS tv coffee, table and mattress were,
gone But carl's friends did put.

Speaker 4 (26:32):
Back the, couch which was a.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Pullout the middleman between my landlord and me did speak
To karl about wanting to take his name off the,
lease but did not follow the proper protocol and confirming
with me THAT i would take on full responsibility of.
Rent SO i did file a. COMPLAINT i ended up
leaving the complex. GOOD i would have suggested the same
thing and moving somewhere else and pressed charges Against carl
and his friends if only to create a paper trail

(26:55):
and help in my civil case against my.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
Ex we do have a little bit more story, left
but oh my, god.

Speaker 6 (27:00):
The comments are it's Like Sophia clone, says, nah he's
cheating and has a kid with another, woman or thinks
that she has an.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
Affair what do you think the reason is for all of?

Speaker 2 (27:09):
This because she said she didn't want to get married,
anymore and he's just being a little petty pathetic worm.

Speaker 6 (27:14):
Person also like that's a stupid way to get her
out of the house, though, Too, like, yeah can you, actually,
LIKE i, know you've been staying at this mall for two?

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Hours can you stay her for two more?

Speaker 6 (27:25):
Hours and even though you can drive home and drive, back, like,
well of course she's gonna drive.

Speaker 3 (27:29):
Home she's already been there for two hours waiting for.

Speaker 4 (27:32):
You what a little. Psycho, yeah her.

Speaker 6 (27:34):
Breakfast he would probably get to the point of being, like, oh,
yeah just like start the. Movie i'm like almost, there
just go in and then he just Still she's just
watching the whole movie by.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
Herself.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yeah this guy just needs like a big rubber stamp
with like a hole on. It, yeah just put right
on his forehead that he can't.

Speaker 4 (27:49):
Remove.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Absolutely in the, END i was able to get some
financial compensation for WHAT i, lost and he has Until
november to pay it. All and wasn't even sad that
he didn't want to be with me. ANYMORE i was
just pissed off and tried to go about. It it's
very clear that he wanted to punish, me And i'm
so glad THAT i never ended up marrying this, man.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
This little puddle of sludge in the form of a.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
HUMAN i completed my, certification got a promotion and the
pay raise that comes with, it and my dad has
agreed to give me the money he was saving for
my future wedding as a down payment for a. House
after this entire, EXPERIENCE i am now ten toes down
in never getting. Married, also as a side, note Since
carl's brother couldn't provide consistent childcare on his, days the
mother filed for custody and Now carl's brother pays child

(28:32):
support and that is the end of that.

Speaker 6 (28:33):
Story, yeah good thing is she probably wouldn't have thought,
that you, know he would do something like this and
wouldn't get a, prenup so he would end up with
half her stuff, anyway if they, like you, know got
married and then got a divorced or.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
Something so, yeah good, thing, dude good.

Speaker 5 (28:45):
Thing.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
Absolutely hey, y'all It's john Og host. Here we're gonna
get back to the. Story so but here's a quick
three minute break from as for more.

Speaker 5 (28:51):
Sponsors i'm excluded from my brother in law's wedding because
of my.

Speaker 3 (28:55):
Age what AM i a child in this?

Speaker 5 (28:59):
Story my future sister in, Law katie thirty, five female
doesn't like. ME i think she looks down on. Me my, Husband,
gabe twenty one, male AND i nineteen, female have an
almost nineteen month old. Daughter we do live With gabe's
parents for, now but have a plan to move. Out
they all put their daughter a, lot and we're so.
Grateful by the. Way this comes From Crimp, cripper and

(29:19):
if you want to submit your own, stories go to
the r Slash okay storytime suppared.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
It I'm, Sophiat I'm, angie And op.

Speaker 5 (29:25):
Says katie got engaged To gabe's, Brother louis thirty, two
Over thanksgiving and their wedding is In. JUNE i was
kind of shocked since they've been dating for less than a,
year but very happy for. Them gabe has two other.
Brothers the older middle, One manuel has a long term
girlfriend WHO i love and is literally the SISTER i
never even, had even though she's ten years older than.

(29:46):
Me and his other brother has a new girlfriend who's.
Quiet what seems, Cool But, katie she's such a mean.
Girl no LIKE i feel as If i'm back in
high school sometimes around. HER i know she has some
reasonable complaints about, me but none of them are really
THINGS i can. HELP i think she just Thinks i'm
stupid or. Clueless she Asked becca to be a, bridesmaid
which is obviously her, choice but the other five are

(30:07):
her two, Sisters ellie thirty And gretchen twenty, one and three.
FRIENDS i Know i'd be younger than everyone, else but
it kind of hurt not being, asked even Though i'm
Glad i'm. Not of, Course gabe is going to be
a groomsman and our daughter is going to be a flower,
girl So katie's reasoning is THAT i need to be
watching our, daughter which is also Why i'm not invited
on the party, bus even Though gina. Is their reception

(30:29):
is adults, only And i've already asked my best friend
if she can babysit our daughter that, evening with a
backup babysitter in case anything happens.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
Beautiful last week.

Speaker 5 (30:38):
We went To katie's parents' house for my daughter to
try on the flower girl, dress and it was awful to.
Start katie's sisters were, there and she insisted That gabe
and her Sister gretchen take pictures together since they'll be
paired up at the. Wedding that doesn't bother me But
gretchen kept referring to me as his, girlfriend even though
he corrected her a few. Times he's going to graduate

(30:58):
from college this year and is in a, sorority but
doesn't seem to like me much. EITHER i feel Like
i'm pretty aware of when people don't like me and
sometimes try to make them like.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
Me even though it's.

Speaker 5 (31:08):
Stupid SO i brought up the reception because she was
talking about changing shoes AND i was, Like, oh you
can put yours in our car if you, need Since
i'm sure i'll be. DRIVING i know it's. WEIRD i
don't know WHY i do, that But gretchen seemed really
confused about Why i'd be, there what WHAT i was with,
Her ellie and my mother in law when she brought it. Up,

(31:28):
basically she said the reception was twenty one and up only.
NOW i was so. Embarrassed why but like, Why Like
i've been looking for outfits and have even mentioned one
of a few minutes. Before my mother in law did
remind HER i was married to a, groomsman And gretchen was, like,
oh it's a VENUEUL i think liar and went to
talk To. KATIE i wanted to pass, away but the

(31:50):
party wasn't, over AND i was driving everyone back to our.
HOUSE i Think elly noticed how UPSET i was and
told me she thought it would be fine and not to,
worry and then tried to change the. Subject how cute
my daughter would. Look so now you're your daughter's gonna
be a flower girl in this wedding and you're not
even allowed to come to the. Reception.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
Yeah like, also your.

Speaker 5 (32:09):
Like your daughter's like one in a. Half, yeah how
she get a flower? Girl that's? Crazy, well, WELL i mean.

Speaker 6 (32:15):
Maybe the idea is that she would like be walked
down holding.

Speaker 5 (32:19):
Hands maybe who's walking her? NOUN i wanted to leave so,
bad but of course my daughter was totally fine and having,
Fun SO i just faked it and pretended LIKE i
wasn't passing away inside and dropped. It we ate pizza with,
them and my father in law made like not a,
toast but was just saying how he was excited to
get another. Daughter And becca made a face and whispered
something to her, sister which was kind of. Awkward she

(32:41):
gave me a super fake smile. Too the thing, Is
katie isn't some cartoon villain that everyone hates or anything
she's so nice and gracious to everyone. Else so she
even was a little too over the top about my
daughter looking cute in the, dress which was, nice but
you know when you just know someone looks down on
you or doesn't like, you AND i obviously want every
to like. Me i'm nice and funny and. SMART i

(33:02):
KNOW i made, mistakes but she treats my husband so
much better than. Me Now i'm nervous to talk To
gabe BECAUSE i know if he knew about any of,
this it would cause a fight not between, us but
with him And louise And. Katie And i'm not trying
to make their wedding anything about, Me like IF i
don't have to go to the, reception that's. Fine that's
the stupid dress for our daughter she picked out was
over three hundred. Dollars, wow so Maybe i'd save. Money

(33:26):
AND i Know gabe doesn't like. Her he even made
a comment wondering how long the marriage would last to his,
mom and she shushed him on the way, home but
even she. LAUGHED i did talk to my in laws
and husband, casually and mother in law basically Said gretchen
is an idiot and didn't know what she was talking
about they think it's insane to Think i'm not. Invited
mother in law said she would talk To, luis BUT

(33:47):
i asked her not. TO i don't want to cause.
DRAMA i just want to. Know But gabe, said If
i'm not, invited he's not, Going so NOW i don't
want him to miss out on his brother's wedding and
just feel like a piece of crap for bringing it.
Up AM i being? OVERLEA i mean like he was
gonna fine aut that you weren't.

Speaker 6 (34:02):
Invited, yeah, YEAH i, mean how would he feel if
like he's having a fun time at the?

Speaker 3 (34:07):
Wedding oh my, gosh so. Nice this reminds us of our.
WEDDING i love.

Speaker 6 (34:11):
You and then and then you're just, like, okay, yeah
go on without, me like, yeah have.

Speaker 5 (34:16):
Fun, Yeah i'll be over here drinking a glass of.

Speaker 6 (34:19):
Milk LIKE i doubt he's gonna like that. Either so,
yeah you're definitely not, overreacting though.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
NO i would be upset, Too but there is an.

Speaker 5 (34:25):
Update SO i was going to Confront katie. Myself this
is ultimately between us And i'm an. Adult But friday,
night we were just hanging out In katie's Sister gretchen
had Texted gabe this TikTok of a bride'smaid and groomsman
doing like a dance walk in and was, like, Hey,
elloela we should do. This it was stupid but also low,
key kind of romantic or. Spicy he was going to ignore,
it BUT i was, like you're gonna have to see

(34:47):
her and she'll bring it. Up so he said it
would be better For becca And, manuel his brother and
his brother's, girlfriend who are both in the. Wedding then
at one point later she responded and was, like, oh,
yeah that's. Cool i'm sure you're excited for a night
from the girlfriend and. Baby he was pretty pissed, off
and it was kind of shocked she'd say, that but
told them he should probably ignore that one BECAUSE i

(35:07):
know girls like that and they hate being. Ignored you.
Know he was going to ignore, it but kept getting
mad about it and just responded that was a weird
thing to say and THAT i would be. There so
at that Point i'm, like, okay, yeah you And louise should.
Talk the brothers and their dad get lunch at the
same spot Every. Saturday it's not mandatory and they miss a,
lot but the next day they went and afterwards they
hung out of. It gabe basically brought it up and

(35:29):
Asked louise to switch him off From gretchen because she
was creeping him. Out luis was shocked he brought up
the reception because he hadn't heard anything about. It he
Said gretchen was probably just being nice and to Cut
katie's some slack because they were trying to plan a
wedding in a short amount of. Time ben AND i
love my, husband but he thought this would be a
great time to be, like, well maybe you shouldn't rush

(35:49):
it so. Much Then luis was, like why WOULD i
listen to? You you're still a mom and dad's, basement which, like,
yeah fair, point but just AN. Fyi louise totally lived
here on and off until he was like, thirty just
saying and they fought. More gabe, said they didn't fight about,
me and, honestly between me And, reddit their family fights a,
lot but it's just always. Fine like they're kind of.

(36:10):
Dramatic you just get used to. It they don't stay.
Mad BUT i guess for whatever god forsaken, reason they
brought the fight to the other brother At manuel's house
and The manuel was, like, YEAH i, agree you're going too.
Fast Apparently manuel had been wanting to propose to his
girlfriend this, year And louis told them he shouldn't until
after the wedding because they deserve for the focus to

(36:31):
be on, them which had to have come From katie
because there's no universe Where luis would ever care about. That,
Obviously i'm hearing all of the, secondhand because Afterwards manuel
came back With gabe and they were telling. ME i
got kind of mad Because i'm, like you cannot be
ganging up on your. Brother he's just a delicate, person you,
know he's been through a. Lot and they didn't like

(36:53):
me saying that and brought their parents into. It LIKE i,
said they're just a dramatic family sometimes AND i am.
Not SO i don't get it. Now i'm just stressed
AND i have no. ANSWERS i haven't been sleeping while,
lately and this is stressful and not. Helping luis Or
katie haven't said. Anything Frick congretchen Texted gabe another TikTok
and he just responded that he doesn't have TikTok and
went to. BED i guess we'll probably just go to

(37:15):
the ceremony and go home with our. DAUGHTER i was
kind of looking forward to a night, off but it's.
Fine manuel's, Girlfriend becca AND i are. Close we were
chatting about this and we both decided this was the
brother's thing to figure out and we should stay out of,
It like we're not trying to hang up on, anyone
and in the, end it is their, wedding so we'll
just do what we're. TOLD i was supposed to go
study with my bestie today at her sorority house and

(37:38):
leave my daughter With, gabe BUT i just felt like
he was going to be so hungover and could use
her relaxing, morning SO i just took her with. Me
her one roommate had asked the other day IF i
could bring her, over partially because she's nice and loves,
babies but partially because she gets credit for her child
develop a. Class but, anyways we were taking a break
and On instagram And, gretchen who does not follow, me

(37:58):
but my profile is, public like a post from three years,
ago and my friend's, like she's going to single white
female you And i've never seen the, movie BUT i
get the. Gist so she also went back and unliked the.
Post that's. EMBARRASSING i guess if you never hear back from,
me just ASSUME i was unlive by a rabid. Bridesmaid
we're all way too old for.

Speaker 4 (38:16):
THIS.

Speaker 5 (38:17):
BS i Know gabe is up and working on a
project with his, brothers see WHAT i mean where they
fight and fight and it's usually. Fine so Hopefully i'll
have more answers. Tonight he's so hungover. Today update. Two
so the wedding date changed From june To, april by the,
way and now things have gotten even. Weirder So i've
had THE vid the last few days. Bad so When

(38:37):
katie called me this, MORNING i stupidly thought she was
calling to see IF i needed. Anything gabe AND i
live with his parents for, now but he's been At
katie And luis's every day after work this, week helping
them with a renovation project and his broader. Daughter it's
a safe. Space he's just working on the electrical box
SINCE i can't watch her this, sick and his parents
already help out during the day a, lot so she

(38:58):
Knows i'm very, sick but to science to call me
to invite me to the Bachelorette she's treating it like
an olive. Branch but get, this she's literally asking me to.
Work apparently enough girls dropped out and they're now going
To napa instead Of, miami and instead of hiring a,
driver she thought it was a great and magnanimous idea
to offer to let me. COME i won't even need
to pay for the. HOTEL i would share just my.

(39:18):
Flight oh AND i would need to drive them around
the entire. Time you're not a. Chauffeur that's. CRAZY i
hate her and her, sister but one of her sisters
is cool and her friends seem. Nice but no, WAY
i work on weekends And i'm in. School why WOULD
i take that time and spend at chauffeuring her? AROUND
i was a. Guess she even offered it and basically,
said with being sick, NOW i was missing out on

(39:40):
a lot of hours and houses to clean side hustle
and didn't want to be behind in. School i'm not
paying for a flight To. CALIFORNIA i haven't Told. Gabe
he's still an apprentice at, work SO i only contact
him while he's working with, emergencies per his. REQUEST i
want him to find this, funny BUT i know he'll
get mad about it and that's the end of that.
Story post seems like nothing is really.

Speaker 6 (40:02):
Resolved my boyfriend's family SAID i caused his struggles Because i'm.

Speaker 5 (40:07):
Ill maybe they caused his struggles and.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
Trigger, warning there's a verbal in this.

Speaker 6 (40:12):
Story SO, i thirty three, female and my, boyfriend thirty four,
male have been together for five years and met during
the pandemic in between, LOCKDOWN i had life saving surgery
WHEN i was, nineteen And i've lived with chronic illness
for over half of my. LIFETIME i met my in
laws after the pandemic and all.

Speaker 5 (40:28):
Seemed well at.

Speaker 6 (40:28):
First the city my partner AND i live in was
stuck in a local lockdown for nine, months whereas our
families were not affected by. This as a, result my
partner fell into a deep depression and wouldn't seek. Help I'm,
Angie I'm. Sophia two years into our, relationships things felt
uncomfortable around his, family but we had only met in
person a handful of, times SO i put it down

(40:48):
to us not being around one another that often and
it just being. AWKWARD a few months, later my partner
told me that he'd called his sister that evening when
she said her her husband and their mom were blaming
me for his depression and that going out and living
with someone who's chronically ill was the cause of his
mental health. Struggle for, context he knew about everything before

(41:09):
we even had our first, day AND i have been
upfront from day. One around the same time we went
to visit as his dad was having a big birthday
party out of, VENUE i have a medication THAT i
need to take at, night AND i start to withdraw
past a. Point my partner asked his sister ahead of
time what time they wanted to say till and who
was driving this was so that we could make sure

(41:29):
we were. Prepared she told him that they would be
driving back mid to late, evening and that meant THAT
i wouldn't have to carry my medication on my person
and could leave it back at the.

Speaker 5 (41:36):
House but she.

Speaker 6 (41:37):
Lied class always, lie classic. Liar classic long story. SHORT
i went into withdraw and felt horrendous for the next few.
Days everyone had been very cold towards me when we.
Left after a few months, later she messaged AND i
politely asked WHAT i was doing to make people think
THAT i was making their son slash brother. Depressed she
then blew up in my Face she said That i'm

(42:00):
selfish and use her brother after he'd bought me up
a drink in her house BECAUSE i was lying down
trying to calm down my. Tremors she then, said if
your medication is that, important then why didn't you bring?
It and back Then i'd made the mistake of over explaining.
MYSELF a lot more was, said but essentially it was
implied THAT i bring nothing to the relationship and treat

(42:21):
him like a. DOORMAT a month went by AND i
said let's just move forward and didn't ask for an.

Speaker 5 (42:27):
Apology it's really none of her business what their. RELATIONSHIP i,
mean like As, LAH i don't. KNOW i feel like
they're just making problems. Up.

Speaker 6 (42:34):
Yeah, absolutely and the fact that she just in general
doesn't have any sympathy for like the. Medication it's, like,
oh why did you leap? Paid why did you have
to ruin it with your chronic?

Speaker 5 (42:43):
Illness, like.

Speaker 6 (42:45):
Let's like calm down and made me care for her
agreed for. Real my father in law and mother in
law had also gotten, involved and the mother in law
saying the cruelest things out of the four of. Them
the following month they were coming to the, city we
live in to Do christmas, shopping and then as an,
afterthought asked my partner if we'd like to meet them for. Dinner,
now for, Context i'm missing a huge section of my digestive,

(43:06):
system which means my diet is. Restrictive she kept suggesting
places to eat to my partner that she KNEW i
couldn't eat, at and in the END i suggested somewhere
THAT i knew would be liked by everyone. Attending by this,
POINT i didn't have anyone on social. Media i've had
all manner of things said to me about my, health
BUT i do my, best and just because it may look,
easy it doesn't mean that it. Is a few months,
later my back buckled AND i was laid up in

(43:29):
bed in. Agony TikTok had popped up a do you
know this? Person and it was my sister in. LAW
i was trying to create awareness about neurodivergence and living
with a, stoma and after, EVERYTHING i didn't want her
to see the videos.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
And judge me, further SO i blocked the.

Speaker 6 (43:44):
ACCOUNT a week, later she texted my partner saying that
she'd gone to view. It we didn't know that she
was actively searching it and couldn't view. It asked her
husband to look for, it and it popped up for,
him so she refused to speak to me, directly even
WHEN i tried to.

Speaker 3 (43:59):
CALL i told my partner to tell her the.

Speaker 6 (44:00):
TRUTH i didn't want close family or in, laws et
cetera looking at, it and she blew.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
Off claiming THAT i was lying and posting it for
the whole.

Speaker 5 (44:09):
WORLD i wouldn't WANT i don't have a, TikTok BUT
i wouldn't want my parents or family to watch it,
UNLESS i, mean unless it was like a lot of
people post kind of personal unless you're a big content, creator,
RIGHT a lot of it is more, Personal so it makes. Sense,
YEAH i mean.

Speaker 6 (44:25):
Some, things it's, like you, know all depends on how
you're going about your social, media but, yeah.

Speaker 5 (44:29):
It just depends on what you're posting, exactly like posting
something kind of. Personal, yeah and especially if these people
are already so judgmental and mean to, her it's like
that's what you need to, explain is, like, YEAH i
know you've already been pretty rude to me about.

Speaker 6 (44:42):
Right, yeah about the things That i'm going to be talking,
Medicalist SO i knew you didn't want to hear about.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
It, yeah SO.

Speaker 5 (44:48):
I took, it told you that decision away from.

Speaker 6 (44:50):
You.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
Exactly this was my breaking.

Speaker 6 (44:52):
POINT i lowered myself and left a video there to
hurt her because if she continued to snoop and when
she was asked not, to she.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Would make it.

Speaker 6 (45:00):
Known the video had no one, tagged no names, mentioned
just an empty. Caption the video stated that my content
wasn't for, her that it was for creating awareness and
building a, community but she didn't get her own way
and had hurt my partner and me in the, process
to WHICH i ended it, With, so.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
If you still haven't learned your lesson and you're watching
this right, now go with f. Yourself, so as, predicted she.

Speaker 6 (45:23):
Did later that, morning we found out that she'd saved
the video and sent it around to, everyone making me
out to be a.

Speaker 5 (45:29):
Monster well, like, unfortunately not that you are at. All
like she's definitely in the ale, year, right but it
doesn't make you look.

Speaker 4 (45:37):
Good yeah that's.

Speaker 3 (45:38):
Right, yeah just like.

Speaker 5 (45:39):
Exactly avoiding anything that makes you look bad on social. Media,
yeah people can twist it even if it's, like even
if it literally had nothing to do with, her she
could probably have twisted. It it does have something to
do with, her so now she didn't have to twist it.

Speaker 6 (45:52):
Right the only one who didn't fall for it was
the younger, brother who, said, well you must have done
something for her to have done. That, anyway three years have,
passed oh wow, wow and they had a baby In.
MARCH i helped my partner choose some baby gifts and wrapped.
Them they passed on their thanks via my. PARTNER a
few weeks. Ago my partner traveled up to see, them
and out of the, blue her and husband both, said

(46:13):
we'd like to apologize to. Her my partner AND i
are completely flabbergasted by. This, However i'm very wary of
the intent behind. IT i also had moved on and
had come to terms with the fact that my in
laws do not like, me and quite, frankly the only
person who matters is my. Partner he's my priority and
the MAN i chose to spend my life. With we
are a great team and work hard in our. Relationship

(46:33):
his family relationship is fractured after they tried to break
us up and make no attempt to repair, things not
even with. Him every close Friend i've spoken to has
told me to stay well. Away but would any of
you feel inclined to forgive. THEM i feel THAT i
don't need to forgive her to be at peace with my.
LIFE i also don't hold out any hope that she's
suddenly learned how to hold herself accountable for her.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Pavior we do have an, Update but what do you.
THINK i don't think you necessarily have to forgive. Them,
yeah seems like.

Speaker 5 (47:01):
They're not necessarily no contact with this, family, Right?

Speaker 3 (47:04):
Yeah maybe. LOW i, mean it just says that the
relationship is.

Speaker 6 (47:07):
Fractured, yeah you, know if they're setting baby, gifts you,
know maybe they just kind of keep their distance a little.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
Bit.

Speaker 5 (47:12):
YEAH i feel like you can keep your, distance but
like be polite when you see, them like accept the
apology and be, like you, know we're gonna be. Polite
BUT i don't want to see them all the. Time
it doesn't don't be, friends but you can be like
polite to each other.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
Exactly but we do have an.

Speaker 6 (47:27):
Updates SO i asked my partner to message his sister
and asked what she.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
Was apologizing for and what she wanted out of.

Speaker 6 (47:33):
This after a couple of, days she, responded here is
what she had to, SAY i don't think.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
That actually comes across that.

Speaker 6 (47:39):
Direct happy to discuss over a call or FaceTime if you,
want BUT i Think i've wanted to speak with op
since pretty early on BECAUSE i KNOW i just reacted
in the heat of the moment instead of just thinking.
BEFORE i responded on more than one, occasion especially with
my daughter. Here, NOW i feel it's even more important
to make amends BECAUSE i want you both to be
in her life and life is too. Short like we
said the other, week we Want ope to feel comfortable

(48:01):
and happy meeting us or coming to family. FUNCTIONS i
know she's important to, you and that means she's important to.
US i made mistakes and need to own that and. Apologize,
well that sounds.

Speaker 5 (48:11):
Nice we're getting, Somewhere, yeah because it's definitely.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
Possible like even if you know the relationship was, fractured
it's you, know it's not too.

Speaker 5 (48:18):
Late to build that up. AGAIN i don't think anything
happened that was, like you, know relationship destroying forever.

Speaker 6 (48:25):
Right myself and several of you called it with the.
Daughter i'm surprised that she's confessed that she made mistakes
and needs to own up to it As historically her
and the rest of the family are used to getting
away with their crappy. BEHAVIOR i still don't know WHERE
i say with all of, it mainly because so many
people say things but never put the physical work into,
it and not meeting them in, person it would be
at least to two hours drive there and back to meet,

(48:46):
halfway And i'm stuck in a cycle of pain. Flares
they're not worth spending the spoons. On, However i've told
my Partner i'll agree to a video call on our own.
Terms so what are your thoughts on this? Message Although
i'm pleasantly surprised by the, RESPONSE i would trust her
as far AS i could throw, Her and we do
have some comments to. Comment number one, Says first of,
all you're not. Overreacting they sound like they're quite. Toxic

(49:09):
your partner needs to seek professional help for his depression
if it's still really, Bad ignoring it won't make it go.
Away other than, that if you don't feel the need
to forgive, her then don't forgive. Her she has to
earn your, forgiveness and that doesn't happen with just an.
Apology they've been horribly disrespectful to. You you owe them.
Nothing they owe you more than a simple. Apology it's
up to you and your, partner but you're not wrong

(49:29):
if you choose not to forgive her go no contact
with the entire. Family in the long, run it would
be better for you both in terms of physical and mental.

Speaker 3 (49:36):
Health, anyway Hope her, Responds.

Speaker 6 (49:37):
My partner got his crap together in the, end, thankfully
and has defended me to his family since the last.
INCIDENT i had surgery planned for Last, december and due
to having a dodgy immune, system we chose to semi
isolate in the run up to my op SO i
didn't catch the. Bid his grandma passed away and the
funeral was a month, before so he chose to.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
Attend virtually his parents.

Speaker 6 (49:57):
Lashed, out and he, SAID i loved my grad much,
dearly but my partner is my priority And i'm standing
by my. Decision that was the first time that he
ever stood up to, them and it was a huge.
Breakthrough SOMETIMES i do wish that he was more, confident
but his family made him feel so small growing. Up
and that's the end of that. Story, Okay SO i
mean that makes sense that it was, like it's more
than just the. Situation it's kind of a thing a

(50:20):
way that he's been treated by them his whole.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Life, yeah definitely makes sense that, it.

Speaker 5 (50:24):
You, know a little kind of coddling him a little.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Bit, Yeah, sam here og, host we're going to get
back to these. Stories but here's three minutes fads from our.

Speaker 5 (50:31):
Sponsors, first giving birth was already, hard but my mother
in law is making it.

Speaker 3 (50:35):
Harder you're supposed to help in this, situation, Girl.

Speaker 5 (50:38):
I'm here to. Share my negative birth experience involves my
mother in, Law kathy is her, name a useless midwife
to WHOM i paid five thousand dollars of cash and
unealfhal hospital. Bs WHEN i went into, labor my husband
twenty four mail called his mother and told her the.
News she was planning to drive over ten hours to
be ready to meet the. Baby when he was. Born

(51:00):
lanned on a home berth and had a midwife and a.
Doula they had been great all throughout the pregnancy until
the DAY i went into. Labor it obviously wasn't the,
plan BUT i labored at home for over thirty. Hours
oh my. God during act of, labor the midwife finally showed,
up but did nothing to. Participate she and the doula
hung out in my living room lounging around and giggling

(51:21):
back and forth WHILE i was in the bedroom struggling.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
To coll, oh, What i'm, Sorry therefore that's what you're
supposed to.

Speaker 5 (51:27):
Do they're, like oh my. God my husband was doing
the best he could as my support person with his
very little, knowledge and was trying to counter pressure on my.
Back he wasn't doing it quite, right so it was
actually more painful than. Helpful when he needed to, rest
my mother stepped in to help me through. Contractions, again
the midwife and doulah did nothing to coach or comfort
me when it would have been very. Helpful this was

(51:49):
my first birth, experience SO i didn't know how to
ask for WHAT i. NEEDED i was quickly getting to
my exhaustion limit and still not fully. Dilated here's away
you could imagine the PAIN i was. In every two two,
MINUTES i felt an urge LIKE i had explosive diarrhea
while cramping across my lower back and, midsection with intensity
and crippling pain of A Charlie horse day last thirty seconds.

(52:10):
EACH i was strictly forbidden to surrender to this urge
to push and had to hold it back with all
the ENERGY i had. Left IF i did give it
in and, PUSH i would damage my cervix SINCE i
wasn't fully. Dilated this is WHAT i was dealing with
while my midwife spent a full hour making up her
mind whether or not to call an ambulance to transport
me to a hospital of forty minutes away SO i
could get an epidural and finally relax enough to. Progress

(52:33):
my husband was begging her to please make a, decision
because that's what we hired her. For she finally called
the squad and they showed up within ten. Minutes kathy
had been at her hotel for almost a full day
at this point and was blowing up my husband's, phone
complaining that it was taking too long and she would
not have any time to spend with a. Baby i'm
sorry the birth you're complaining about the length of time

(52:54):
of the birth is not really up to. Ope i'm
sure she wouldn't want to have a thirty hour.

Speaker 6 (52:57):
Labor, yeah maybe if you like did so something to,
help it wouldn't be so. Long hobby told her he'd
call when the baby was, born and to Understand this
was not about her or her. Timing when we finally
got to the, HOSPITAL i was throwing, up contracting every,
minute and still holding back from. Pushing kathy was still
incessantly calling and, texting explaining that she should never have

(53:18):
come if we weren't going to let her in the
hospital while that baby was being. Born the issue was
there was a certain number of passes allowed for support
people in the delivery, room and they were already taken
up by my, hobby my, mother and my. Midwife my
husband explained this To kathy and told her there was
nothing he could.

Speaker 5 (53:33):
Do she would just have to. Wait instead of understanding
that we were doing the best we, could she continued
calling and, texting crying and whining about how unfair it,
was stressing my husband even more than he already. Was
it was then time for me to start. Pushing. Finally
hope you've made. It you're so. Close the doctor on
duty told my midwife to hold my legs SINCE i

(53:53):
was paralyzed from the waist down from the. Epidural she
replied that she doesn't hold legs and to ask someone else.
ELSE i flipped out on her and, screamed then what
AM i paying you FOR i was, assuming AND i
would have had the, CAPABILITY i would have punted her
in the. Throat everyone's eyes got wide and the room
got quiet until some nurses stepped in to do what
the doctor. Said, finally after thirty six hours of, labor

(54:15):
my baby boy was. BORN i was, dissociated, exhausted and.
TRAUMATIZED i didn't even want to hold. HIM i just
wanted to. Sleep my midwife, left opening up a support
person pass that we Allowed kathy to have in her.
Stead when she came a few hours, later she didn't
even seem happy to be. There she was moody and
acted like she had been. Inconvenience the lactation consultant came

(54:36):
in During kathy's visit to help me with. BREASTFEEDING i
was in tears at this point BECAUSE i was in
so much pain attempting to nurse my. Baby kathy kept
trying to insert herself over the lactation, consultant even though
she was never able to successfully feed her any of her.
CHILDREN i snapped at her to sit, down AND i
don't need one more person tell me What i'm doing.
Wrong she got quiet good the rest of the time

(54:57):
she was. There she hardly said a word to. Me,
yeah you need to be. QUIET i stayed two more
days in the hospital BECAUSE i was still struggling to
nurse my, son and that is an expensive. Stay, also
it sucks because she paid five thousand dollars for the
midwife to not have to probably you, know, yeah to
have a home. Birth, yeah to home birth and not

(55:18):
have all of those hospital. Expenses. Yeah it felt LIKE
i was being sliced with razor blades every time he.
Sucked oh my, Gosh, no, guys the pediatric, doctor, nurses
and lactation consultants all checked him for a lip and
a tongue tie and told us he did not have

(55:39):
any and that there must be something wrong with. Me
what do you? MEAN i called my midwife because part
of the SERVICES i paid her for was being my lactation.
Consultant the hospital refused to give her the third pass
that my mother in law returned after she, left giving
me some weird policy about personal staff not being allowed
back in after they, left not even during visiting. Hours
during this, TIME i was threatened by nurse who told

(56:00):
me IF i didn't figure it out or give the baby,
formula they would not let me take him. Home oh he's. Trying,
oh he's literally. Trying it wasn't until late at night
on the second day someone finally thought to offer me a.
PUMP i sobbed with relief WHEN i was finally able
to get enough milk to feed him with a medicine.

Speaker 4 (56:18):
Dropper.

Speaker 5 (56:18):
Yeah is everyone? Dumb everyone at this hospital plus the midwife?
Stupid oh my. GOSH i was finally discharged the third
day and so relieved to be going. Home we found
out later through a, dentist my son had both a
lip and a tongue tie and that's why his latch
was so. Painful oh so all that time when the
doctors were, like, no he didn't have, one it must

(56:39):
be you, think are these doctors? Stupid apparently they haven't
done anything.

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Right, Well i'm so angry for hope right.

Speaker 5 (56:48):
Now. DUDE i wouldn't pay anyone. Anything, YEAH i would
get the doctors slamming on the. Hospital just, TODAY i
to you, guys.

Speaker 6 (56:57):
Sucking i'm not paying you a dime for your dime
whatever you were doing in.

Speaker 5 (57:01):
There there was nothing wrong with me and it could
have all been fixed within an hour had one staff
member been. Competent two years. Later my son is healthy
and happy and he now has a little. Sister. Yay
there are sixteen months, apart AND i was able to
have the home birth of my, dreams peaceful and. Perfect
as for mother in, law we didn't let her come
until a whole month. Later i'm so thankful for my

(57:21):
supportive husband and mother who were there for me WHEN
i needed them. MOST i know this post was, long
but thanks for sticking with it and reading till the.
END i can't wait to read some of your juicy
mother in law and birth. Experiences spill all the tea
in the. Comments edit for anyone who was caught up
at the fact THAT i wanted a home, Birth it's
very common Where i'm, from and just based on my
own experience with the hospital my first, TIME i won't

(57:43):
be itching for another berth there anytime.

Speaker 4 (57:46):
Soon.

Speaker 5 (57:47):
Yeah, also my first midwife was highly recommended to me
by a friend who had two kids with her. Help
she was highly reviewed by others and is well known
by the hospitals and doctors in the area who work with.
HER i just happened to have a bad, experience and who,
knows oh how much of it was my perception versus.
REALITY i found my dream team THAT i will stick with,
now And i'm grateful to have services like this available

(58:07):
to me SO i can make the choice to give
birth in the peace of my. Home and there are some.
Comments comment once, says, WOW i hope you gave terrible
reviews to the useless, midwife And doulah replies, AS i
hope you reported her to the licensing. AGENCY opi says
in the STATE i, love there is no midwife license
required to. Practice, yeah well that's obvious that lady has

(58:28):
never been licensed for. Anything that's a lady you've found
on the.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
STREET i bet you can't even.

Speaker 5 (58:33):
Drive, reply so anyone can just, say, Hey i'm a.
Midwife no, oversight no, Certification, yeah that's. Scary op says
there are limited, rules but there is no official. Certification
all midwives have to be dulass first and they do
have to get an. Education you can ask a midwife
to see any certificates they do, hold even though they
aren't required by, law and look at the. Reviews my

(58:54):
second midwife doesn't have a, website but she's about seventy
years old and delivered several of my friends my friend's,
babies but my actual. Friends she's also delivered a quarter
of the millennial Gen amish population in my, state SO
i knew she'd do what she was. Doing comment two,
Says i'm a nurse And i'm personally appalled by this
country's treatment of pregnant and postpartum. WOMEN i would be
absolutely terrified to have a baby in this. Country there

(59:16):
is no field of medicine where the staff is more
dismissive of their patients than women's. Health the one TIME
i had to work in a hospital with a women's health,
WING i was infuriated by the PATIENTS i received from.
Them IN icu just flat out ignored signs and symptoms
of problems until patients were basically. CRASHING i still get
angry over the case of a black woman who bled
out because staff ignored blatant signs of postop. Leading comment three, says, Oh,

(59:41):
pee your husband should have just shut off his phone
For god's.

Speaker 4 (59:44):
Sake.

Speaker 5 (59:44):
REPLY i have also thought the husband was also part
of the, problem as he was allowing constant texts and
phone calls from his mother to impact his own mental
health and, stress which made him even more useless to
his wife as he was distracted by his mummy and her.
NEEDS i never understand why people don't, silence. Don'tifications mother
in law knows where they are and was told that
she would get a. Call when everything was said and,

(01:00:04):
done that literally should have been. It husband should have
ceased all communication with her and focused on his. Wife
and that's the end of that. Story BUT i, Agree,
yeah next, time if you have another, baby don't let
your mom keep going, blocker turn on. Silent, yeah do
not disturb.

Speaker 6 (01:00:20):
All that jazz AND i mean when they did have
that second, baby they said that she wasn't allowed there
until a month after the baby.

Speaker 5 (01:00:26):
Was, perfect so, perfect.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
He has made all of the correct decisions the second.

Speaker 5 (01:00:30):
Time you had a trial around the first.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
Time, yeah figured it out the second in the hard.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Way

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I told my boyfriend’s brother to get a job… or move out! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories