I told my wife to wear a DIFFERENT swimsuit… because I was uncomfortable!-r/amioverreacting | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your
warm embrace.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay
Storytell podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious
story that I think you'll love. Sincerely Sam.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
But before that, thine divine two minute outbreak must happen,
I bid thee farewell.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
See you in two minutes.

Speaker 4 (00:19):
I told my wife to wear a different swimsuit because
I was uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
It'sy bitsy teeny weenie Yellowpoka dot bikini.

Speaker 4 (00:28):
My wife twenty seven and I twenty eight have been
vacationing through Europe for the past week and we'll continue
on for another week. We're fortunate to spend two weeks
in Mallorca, Majorca.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh okay, we're in a Spaina in Spain.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
We've been doing this same trip for the past couple
of years. Since my wife is from Europe, we usually
visit family towards the end of the trip. By the way,
this comes from Uncurved Approach and if you want to
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.
So this year, two couples were good friends with joined us.
One couple had planned to come with us in twenty

(01:08):
twenty two, but had to cancel due to an unexpected pregnancy.
This year, they managed to arrange for the grandparents to
watch their two year old so they could join us.
Another mutual couple who also have kids, heard about the
trip and asked to come along as well. The six
of us met up in Barcelona and flew into Majorca together.
The trouble actually started before the trip, because since we've

(01:30):
been to Spain before, I know my wife likes to
enjoy the European culture by wearing skimpy bathing suits and
often going topless or even fully need m. While I've
grown accustomed to it, I still feel a bit strange
knowing she's topless or in public. I understand that it's
my own preconceived American prudity, but I try to see

(01:51):
it from her perspective and respect that it's her body
and her choice. She does have a great body, so
I can't complain. However, knowing my friends and the and
knowing some background information that one has struggled with body
image issues after having kids, I hinted that maybe this
time she should pack something with a bit more coverage.
She got annoyed and asked what I meant. I explained

(02:13):
that I thought it would be awkward if she dressed
as she usually does with all our mutual friends around.
This didn't go over well. We finally agreed to disagree,
and she said she wouldn't go topless near anyone we knew.
For the first few days, we rented a sailboat with
a captain, so there was lots of sun. My wife
didn't go topless, but were the skimpiest bikini she must

(02:36):
have bought before the trip, because I had never seen
it before. It's basically a thong and a tiny top.
While she looks amazing in private, it fell awkward in
front of our friends and the captain. She was dressed
quite differently from everyone else. I argued with her and
asked her to please wear another swimsuit, but she said
I was overreacting and acting like her dad, if not

(02:59):
being misogynist. She's right that in terms of what you
do on a beach in Spain, it's not that crazy. However,
you wouldn't see this in parts of the US we
are from. Am I overreacting here? We just finished the
sale trip, but have another five days on the beach
with this argument still ongoing. My friends haven't said anything,
but I almost feel them judging. Both other wives have

(03:20):
very conservative swimsuits and I might be going crazy, but
I do feel like they are judging her. I don't
see why it's such a big deal to wear a
more conservative swimsuit just to make sure everyone is comfortable.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Oh okay, I get it. You're in paradise and you
want to treat it like paradise. And I feel like
if you do this every time, and this is like
the one.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
She normally goes topless every time, so she is covering.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Up, he's covering up a little bit more.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
My thing is, dude, sounds a little insecure because it was.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
It wasn't now. It was also before when she was
going in the beach and doing whatever else is doing.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
He's always had these problems. He has a reason to
express them now.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:59):
And my dude, you sound really insecure and your wife
sounds confident.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Af Yeah, and grew up there.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
This is normal for her.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, and you're also it's it's a thing where you
are also assuming for everybody.

Speaker 4 (04:13):
Right.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yes, it could become with that pre notion that someone
has body issues or body image issues, but.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
That's their own things. Accommodate for everybody else's thing. Yeah,
you can if here's my thing. Girls, the girls talked,
I'm sure. I'm sure bathing suits has been discussed amongst
them and if there was problems, they would have expressed it.
They're friends, Yeah, they're chatting.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah. No, I this definitely feels like you're using an
excuse for your friends, like you need to cover up
a bit more, and you're like.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
She already is covering up a week bit more.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
Though, for again and for this the European standards, this
is the norm. That's them.

Speaker 4 (04:59):
Yeah, you said it at the beginning. It is her body,
it is her choice what to wear on it. Yeah,
she negotiated enough to not go. Yeah, if your friends
were uncomfortable, they'd say it. I think you're projecting, but we'll.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
See a little bit, a little bit.

Speaker 4 (05:13):
Yeah, we have some comments though, Yeah, comment one your
friends joined you, not the other way around. She was
planning on doing this, you knew it, So next time,
don't invite those friends. You are allowed to feel uncomfortable,
but you can't force her. Honestly, I would change my
clothes if it makes my husband that uncomfortable, but it
would be the last time I would travel with those friends,

(05:34):
and I would be mad the whole time. Comment two,
please let her enjoy. I'm a plump woman and seeing
other women enjoying their bodies is so wonderful to me,
even if they're tiny and fit. Do you think a
few inches more of fabric will really change anything? These
are your friends. You trust them not to lose their
minds over right. Lastly, I will let you know that

(05:55):
when I started working on my insecurities personal and ones
related to my relationship, that's when my marriage became better
than ever. Working on our insecurities has given us a
new level of trust, appreciation, and security that I didn't
even know was possible. I highly recommend it, and Opie says,
thanks for the response. That makes sense. Maybe it's my
own insecurities at play. And then someone replied, no, maybe

(06:20):
about it, Bud. You're stressing about if your friends are
judging your wife and if one of the women is
insecure because of her own body weight. That's weird to me,
by the way, Instead of worrying if your wife is
happy and confident in her own body and enjoying her vacation,
these are your issues and no one else's. You should
do some self reflection and let your wife be three,

(06:42):
says my seventy eight year old mother in law is
from Spain and has been in the US for like
fiftyish years. When she is on the beach where we live,
she wears appropriate swimmer to the beaches where we go.
She is comfortable on the beach in Spain when she
takes her yearly trip. That means sometimes she's wearing a
rap or sometimes she's topless and pretending to be a
starfish while taking a nap. Oh, it isn't a bad

(07:04):
thing we need to be afraid of, but especially when
you're in a place where it is allowed and somewhat expected,
you are overreacting. We have an update.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, it's I feel like the filter. I mean that's
just like the US filter. Yeah, it's like all around
the world. It's not speaking on every single country, but
it's very common. He's a thing, right, and like it's
like breathing air. It's natural. It's like everyone's got it.
Everyone you know who cares like great.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
Also, the way he described the bathing suit as like
the tiniest thing ever. I feel like it's a fairly
normal top and it's just a thong bottom.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
And he's like, oh my god, who knows.

Speaker 4 (07:44):
But you're also becoming more popular in the US now too.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, and I feel like there are actually some beaches
in the US that are actually allowed to be You're
allowed to be topless.

Speaker 4 (07:54):
Oh yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
I don't think about full, but I think at least hopless. Yeah,
but be a shame. Again, We've already said our piece
and all the comments pretty much agreed with us.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Be a shame.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
This is more on you than anything else. You can't
assume for people.

Speaker 4 (08:10):
We would know if her girlfriends were uncomfortable, someone would
have said something. I'm sure there would have been some
comment like oh wow, like.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah, and again the comment I think that's best, like
you are allowed to be uncomfortable. But yeah, but you
can't change it. You can't. Bruh.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
It's free not to look, you know how cheap it
is to be like h And I can't see.

Speaker 4 (08:32):
Anything and we own update. I thought I would post
a quick update. The only reason I posted it is
because I honestly could not see my wife's point of
view on it, even after discussing it with her multiple
times I was stuck on why it is so hard
to just wear a different swimsuit to avoid any potential issues.
I was in the doghouse for a couple of days.
But we are off the sailboat and on the beaches

(08:53):
now for the last part of the trip with the friends,
after things calm down. My wife read the post and
she thinks I inaccurately depicted the story in some places.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Oh yeah, but she also.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
Sort of saw where I was coming from a little
bit more in some other ways. The correction being her
bikini she chose to wear is not really that crazy. Yes,
it's a thong and super revealing, but she thinks I
made it sound like she was wearing a g string
with two shells covering her nose.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
That's exactly how you made it sound seeing her beehole.

Speaker 4 (09:26):
Yeah it's okay. We knew.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Behold my behole.

Speaker 4 (09:31):
We knew what it really looked like. Don't worry. Yeah,
it would be something you would see on a European beach,
maybe even American regularly. I think being on a boat
and not in a beach setting, just with six people
somehow made it feel more intimate and noticeable what she
was wearing not sure how to explain that. After thinking
about it and talking to her, I will admit I
was also uncomfortable with my friends seeing my wife's body,

(09:54):
which is immature. It's not my property as many people.
And she told me the art that started. The main
argument which I left out, oh okay, was we were
all in the cockpit of the boat, the part where
it has the wheel to drive, which is kind of below,
and there is a sunbathing part directly in front of that.
My wife was laying on her stomach facing away from us.

(10:16):
Her thong wasn't positioned totally correctly, and you could see
a bit more than I think was meant to be
seen for bee hole. My friend just kept looking and
losing focus on the conversation. It was kind of embarrassing.
He and the other husband were looking before this, but this,
for some reason just got to me.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
That's when you like.

Speaker 4 (10:34):
Still your own insecurity.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
That's when you.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
Literally like and that's when you literally like pat him
on the thing. You're like, hey, hey, eyes up.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
Here right, make a joke out of it or something.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
You're like, oh, you see what I'm seeing.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
I don't know why, but him being my longtime friend
and It's not like he's creepy guy usually at all,
but it just made me way more uncomfortable than I
thought it would. I for some reason didn't want to
blame him. I know this is wrong, but when I
first went to a nude beach in Europe, my eyes wandered.
But for some reason, it being my wife and him
being my friend just made me cringe. I told my

(11:08):
wife later that she was flashing us, but in a
rude way. Oh my god, I should have approached it
from a different angle, because this is the part where
things went south. I think I was just projecting the
frustration of the entire situation on her, which was unfair.
The only part that sort of changed things is the
one wife was actually uncomfortable and obviously noticed her husband

(11:29):
staring at my wife. She ended up telling my wife
privately that it was hard. I don't want to go
into specifics, but she didn't directly blame her, but it
was kind of obvious she didn't enjoy the situation. My
wife felt bad, as she had no intention of causing
any issues. She truly didn't think it would be a problem.
She truly sees me completely different than any of us.
She will be unclothed in front of her friends and

(11:50):
family and not even think about it. That is just
coming from a completely different context than any of the
other people on the trip.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
You can be uncomfortable with it, but this is just
good to be how it's going to be. I'm sorry,
I don't know why.

Speaker 4 (12:04):
This is how she grew up.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
This is normal, yeah, for her, for her, for a
lot of the world, And it was totally.

Speaker 4 (12:11):
Fine with you anytime that you guys have gone in
the past. This is the first time you've had problems
with it. Why would she expect there to be a difference.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
The only thing is like, if she was going to
be it's like, hey, guys, but.

Speaker 4 (12:22):
They talked about that and she knew that was a boundary,
so she said, I will not be new around them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
So yeah, yeah, we covered all our tracks here.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
In her mind, she wasn't even unclothed, so what is
the big deal. She wasn't there was a there was
a bathing suit slip, and you guys stayed in the room.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
However, she did say, knowing what she knows now, she
wouldn't want to cause issues in someone else's marriage, no
matter if she completely disagrees with it on principle. She
thought I was definitely overreacting at first and being jealous,
and she still does, but she says I probably had
an easier time from my perspective seeing that potential issue.
On a positive note, we are not divorcing. This didn't

(13:04):
ruin the trip or did the other Where did that
come from? If that was where this was headed? WHOA
and the other wife and her went to a secluded
beach and she, the other wife on the trip, tried
going top bus for the first time in her life
and loved it.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yes, yes, exactly, And you're like, guys, I'm I'm taking
my pants off. You want to do it with me?
It feels great? Well, but like for the guys, for
the guys like all right, if that's if like, no
one's going to be bothered by it. We're all friends here.
It's the same thing like when like I haven't done
it with the Dakota, but if we go to the SPA,
if we have it, if we go to the SPA,
you get you have to get like all right you
guys ready one, two, three, You're like a like, yeah,

(13:44):
what it is? I would certainly be like, ah, okay.

Speaker 4 (13:49):
Edit. I asked for her to come hang out and
move quickly after I noticed Uh. I asked her to
come hang out and move quickly after I noticed she
had an issue with her swimsuit. We have some comments
comment one. So this entire saga could have been solved
by sacking your friend on the shoulder and saying eyes
on your own wife, dude, and going out and whispering

(14:12):
in her ear that she has a slight wardrobe malfunction. Instead,
you made it into her problem, exactly what Kean said.
Reply or everyone got unclothed.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Exactly as Keon said. I demand my husband stopped talking
to his work wife, but he just won't.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
Maybe he should marry her.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
My twenty six female husband twenty eight male works as
a car salesman. He's been doing that for almost five
years now. About two years ago, a new girl twenty
two females started and they hit it off and became friends.
Oh no, what kind of funds? They would text and
play iPhone message games frequently throughout work. I became uncomfortable

(14:52):
with how much they were texting, how much they were
eating lunch together and planning what to eat, and would
buy each other's food and like that. By the way,
this comes from user round Legs seventy four to twenty
six and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash. Okay, storytime suppured it. So
it made me mad that he made time to tell
her happy birthday while we were on a family vacation

(15:14):
with our four kids. This maybe is dramatic, but come on,
we're on vacation. Why are you thinking about her? Just
tell her when you get back to work. I don't
know about that one, just saying was.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
It a text or was it a long Okay? Yes,
was it a phone while you're trying to do things
with your four kids, because that can be chaotic.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Or like, like, that's the priority of your day the prior
I got a text that first thing? It's her birthday.

Speaker 4 (15:37):
Also, just be the breaking point on top of a lot.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Yeah, one hundred percent. It's the straw that breaks that
can come back. It's like, oh, it was Dakota's birthdays,
Like I have to wish him happy birthday. Yeah. Anyway,
no matter how much I asked him to stop texting her,
he didn't listen. He didn't hide anything from me, No
deleted messages or inappropriate messages. So I was like, well,
he's not cheating. Oh oh, well, I guess they're just friends

(16:02):
that I'm being insecure. I have never met this girl.
She's a long term boyfriend as well, so whatever. Fast
forward a little bit and they get into an argument
at work. My husband would never tell me what it
was about, so we were on clear like, oh, you
get everything to I'm not going to tell you why.
My bestie and I got.

Speaker 4 (16:21):
To an argument argument at work too, like what are
you fighting about?

Speaker 1 (16:26):
What did he do wrong? That's really suspicious even now
a year later. But they didn't talk at all for months.
I was happy, honestly irritated that all the times I
had asked him to stop talking to her he didn't listen,
but content that they weren't texting all the time at work.
But recently the past few months, she has been making
an effort to be friends with him again, talking to

(16:46):
other coworkers and asking what he's doing, or telling them
that she needs him for something, probably work related. I'll
never know, he won't tell me. They haven't texted since
January of this year, but I have no idea what
they say or do in person. I've started many arguments
about how his male coworkers will text him to say
his girl needs him.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
Oh yo, oh.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Oh, that's if I saw that, Like, if you like
his like her boy needs to talk talk to him,
I'm like, or talk to her. I'm like what, Yeah, yeah,
I am not happy with this. Even though there's like
no physical cheating, this is certainly in the context of
emotionally cheating.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
And the fact that he stopped telling you, in the
fact that they've gone to talking in person makes me
think that it's across that boundary and they can get
away with it now because you're not checking the text
because there are no.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
And that you're asking for him to stop, and he
doesn't do a single.

Speaker 4 (17:45):
Thing the second that you're uncomfortable, he should at least
think hard about that.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, And he's like no, no, no, no, you'll let you
guys meet, Yeah, something like that. You're in comfy with
my my new bestie. That sucks.

Speaker 4 (17:56):
It's my girl best friend. You can't be mad.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
How they all know that there's a relationship of some
sort between them by calling her his girl. I also
read a message on his phone that he had deleted
between my husband and a male coworker where my husband
essentially called the girl hot specifically said she's still bad
af Like, Wow, what a blow to my self esteem?
Why would he say that to another coworker. I truly

(18:21):
felt like that was an acceptable behavior. It makes me
look bad as his wife, he says, I shouldn't worry.
Everyone knows he's married and how happy he is with me.
YadA YadA. Sure he will go out of his way
to buy her drinks slash food, and I guess she
does the same. I only see his side of text.
I don't know if y'all will agree with me on this,

(18:42):
but my husband buying another girl food just really ticks
me off. Hell Texas coworkers and have them ask if
she wants her normal order?

Speaker 4 (18:50):
Does he know you're a normal order?

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Oo? I've basically told him that he can either leave
his job as soon as I graduate nursing school and
start working, or we are going to separate. I hate
to be pushed to that point of an ultimatum, but
it's just NonStop with him. I should also add that
he has done this at every job he's had. He
gets in a close friendship with a girl that he

(19:13):
works with, tells me there's nothing to worry about, but
then makes me feel uncomfortable with how much they talk.
After he leaves a job, they never talk again, which
is why I feel like I'm overreacting. Obviously, there has
never been anything going on before that I'm aware of,
and we've been together twelve years now, so I guess
all of this to say, am I overreacting? Should I

(19:36):
just let it go and let them be friends? There's
an edit to ad she is not another salesperson. She
is a manager. She was not a manager when the
friendship started, but has moved up recently this year. I
think from what I understand, when people go online to
look at cars, she contacts them and then gets them
with a salesperson to start the process of buying a car.
My husband likes to say that he needs to keep

(19:57):
her happy so she will keep giving her leads to
people buying cars so that he can earn more commission.
This may change people's opinions, and I just completely forgot
to add that in earlier.

Speaker 4 (20:08):
What does keep her happy?

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Mean?

Speaker 4 (20:10):
Me? Elaborate on that for me?

Speaker 1 (20:14):
He says he has to play nice so that he
can keep earning money. He still called her hot though,
to another coworker, So not sure that helps him, and
we have a small update. But honey, here's my other
thing too.

Speaker 4 (20:26):
Has things just not escalated with any of the girls
that he's done this with because he switched jobs too quickly,
or has he just.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
Not had the time or he got caught. It's weird
because he does adamantly say like, I got a new works.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
I think there's a brag that he likes about it
because at this point she's not doing anything about it.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
M yeah, ultra violet. I was gonna say, you've the
fact that he's done this with multiple girls at multiple
jobs and he still doesn't get the hints. At this point,
you're being disrespected. He doesn't care what you want. No,
I would be out of it, freaking remore twelve years
and he's just like, nah.

Speaker 4 (21:03):
He doesn't care, he doesn't care, he doesn't care to
talk about it. He's not taking your feelings into account
at all.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
The fact that they're referring to his girl or her
guy not okay. You can have you can be friends
with opposite genders at work, but if it's like twenty
four to seven, you guys are playing like phone games.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
If what he's taking time out of your vacation to
make sure that he talks to her.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Red flags. Small update. I read all the comments. I
will make an official update after I talked to him.
He's off work tomorrow and I plan to sit down
and have a genuine conversation about boundaries and further expectations.
I am not ready to throw in the towel on
this relationship. If he can answer my questions such as
what was the argument about, why do you feel the

(21:52):
need to build a connection with a woman at every
job and agree to marriage counseling good it would be
beneficial for both of us, as we are both making
immature choices. If I am the issue and just jealous
because he's friends with a girl, then I will own
that and work to change. I will ask that he
do the same with developing these relationships at jobs and
ending the current one. I want to say that he

(22:15):
has never referred to her as his work wife. His
co workers did, and then I started to as well.
She's always just been a friend when he's talked about
her before. I order that differently.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
Now.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
They just became so close so fast that everyone at
his work noticed and started referring to her as his
work wife and his girl. Thank you all for providing input.
I wonder if this information changes any minds. Let me
know if that's the case, and I'll let you all
know more tomorrow. Let's get right into it. We have
an update update. Yes, we have been together since we

(22:50):
were fourteen slash sixteen. There was never any long breakup.
We have never been with another partner since getting together
in high school. Did you say?

Speaker 4 (23:01):
I said, I found the problem.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
We also have four kids, last two are twins. Got
a two for one there and they are six, so
no more babies. Why can't he have female friends? He
can and he does. Let me share a little bit
more information about why this friendship is not like the others. First,
let's give her a name. Let's call her Amanda. After

(23:25):
I expressed that I think he has feelings for Amanda
a couple months ago, he said she'd let me f
her if I wanted to. You're lucky. I don't want to.
Uh okay. He's also said things like she's obsessed with me,
and I try not to talk to her unless I
have to. But that is proven wrong when I read

(23:46):
his text and his male coworker saying find out what
Amanda wants for lunch. Amanda will definitely give me her
socks if I asked.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
Her, huh, why are we staying?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Why are we saying give me her socks? I really
don't understand that one. There was no context that I
could find. I don't understand that one either, But that's
very weird. And his coworker's texting him saying, Amanda is
looking for you some emoji, probably a winki face. We
all know about who you're into. And in response to that,

(24:18):
he said, nah, ain't nothing there anymore anymore. I think
I don't know anymore. Why is he Why is he
text like a like I guess.

Speaker 4 (24:27):
Sixteen year old that never matured because he's only had
one relationship and has never matured past it.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Bingo. I know you're all gonna hate this, but I
don't want to meet her at all. I don't want
to have to go to his work consistently to basically
mark my territory.

Speaker 4 (24:40):
Do it pee? You should pee everywhere? Mark at all?

Speaker 1 (24:45):
Not that way, but that way. I said what I said, Yeah, okay,
She's always right. He should have to set boundaries and
keep them. The male coworkers he has aren't good guys
to be around. Given the opportunity, they cheat to my
husban and has told me stories of an attractive woman
coming in and ever in trying to get her number
to see who she go out with. They're all married too,

(25:08):
cars salesmen are slimy. Not sure why I thought my
husband was any different. So here is the update. He
admitted to having an emotional affair after I explained what
it was. It was never physical. I do believe that
we have life three sixty. He's always home on time.

(25:28):
He's never been shown to go anywhere suspicious in the
middle of the day for a long time, so I'm
inclined to believe that it was never physical. But it
still wasn't allow Chanal. We've decided marriage counseling is going
to be our best option to keep our family together.
I told him he has to set up an appointment
so I know that he's actually willing to put in
the work. I know that we've been together a long
time and haven't ever dated other people, but he still

(25:51):
chose to marry me. If he doesn't want to be
married anymore and wants to have the ability to flirt
and date other people, then he should have told me
he wanted ada. It would have sucked. But it's better
than feeling this betrayal. I feel like I'm doing so
much for the betterment of me in my family. I
start a tech job at the hospital soon, so I'll
be saving up as much as possible in case the

(26:13):
counseling doesn't work out. Smart. Yes, and I'll be a
nurse in six months. Congrats, good luck, So me and
the kids will be okay regardless. Thanks for taking the
time to read again, And that is the end of
that story. Yeah, yeah, I mean you said it yourself.
I mean it seems like you're right on track to

(26:34):
really just be on your own if you need to be,
if you need to be. If you're not getting respected
and he doesn't follow through, that's if he doesn't follow through.
If he does, and things go get better between you
and your husband, great, happy story, happy family, happy happy.
I would suggest that if it's not like the biggest

(26:55):
thorn in.

Speaker 4 (26:55):
The side, if he can do that easy.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Enough, you can transfer to another you know, shop or
whatever or car dealership. It's not hard.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
Wow, that one really got to me.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host here.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (27:12):
My mother in law can't mind her own business, but
my husband doesn't care.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
Okay, you should care a little bit.

Speaker 4 (27:20):
And this comes directly from the Okay storytime subredd it
Nice I thirty four female, married my husband forty mail
seven years ago. We've been together for nine before we
had kids. My mother in law and sister in law
were annoying, but nothing too horrible.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
That's the price you pay.

Speaker 4 (27:38):
Usually wanted to have game nights every weekend sounds fun.
Uh constantly coming over and calling all the time. I
didn't answer her calls, so she stopped, but still called
my husband several times a day. By the way, this
comes from should I Leave nineteen and if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay storytime subreddit. So we have had four babies in

(28:00):
five years. My first was in twenty twenty, and since
I announced my first pregnancy, she has steadily become increasingly
unbearable and overstepped every boundary imaginable. She is jealous of
my parents' relationship with my three nieces and has made
numerous remarks that she wants to have the same relationship
with my kids. Only caveat My sister in law was

(28:24):
nonexistent and my brother worked all the time, so we
practically raised my nieces. Not the same situation at all.
We have them one to two times during the week,
and until a year ago, we had them every weekend.
Now it's every other weekend. Before my first was even born,
she blatantly stated she was going to try to be
the favorite grandma and would show up at her house crying,

(28:47):
asking if I was going to allow her to watch
her grandkids or worrying that my kids would like my
parents more. She was upset I didn't want her in
the delivery room and tried to show up anyways for
the first I don't get why people want to watch that.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
It's the beauty of life, but also not your place,
you know.

Speaker 4 (29:08):
She was turned away, but still snuck in to visit
during the VID when we weren't supposed to have visitors.
For my second and third, same thing, snuck in during
visiting hours despite the VID protocols. My fourth berth was
the worst. I had started setting boundaries, but this was
the first time the VID wasn't an issue. She tried

(29:30):
to tell me she was coming to see me right
after my surgery. I told her four times, on four
separate occasions, that she was not allowed until we called her.
When I was in recovery. She called my husband as
I was getting checked in to say she was on
her way and would wait in the room. I reminded
him she was not welcome and to tell her to

(29:51):
go home, but she came anyway, actually made it to
my room this time and tried to bust in while
I was getting prepped for my sea section.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Can't the doctor's just like her out.

Speaker 4 (30:04):
My nurse immediately stopped her thank you because I told
her it was only to be my husband and my
mom in the room. They sent her back down, and
my husband started getting bombarded with poor me texts while
I was in the middle of going back for my
fourth sea section in four and a half years. I
almost passed away during it, but she just kept texting.

(30:25):
She has diagnosed bipolar disorder and a few other conditions
she won't discuss. She walks around with a pharmacy in
her purse, but won't talk about what she's been diagnosed with.
Every time she has outbursts, she claims they're changing her
med dosage. Every time I have a baby. She starts
calling ten to twelve times a day to talk to
the kids, video chatting six to eight times a day

(30:48):
to see the baby, showing up one to three times
a day unannounced.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
Get this lady a dog, Get her something to distract her.
I whoa, she hasn't so much time in the day
to do all of this. Get this lady something, Get
her a toy.

Speaker 4 (31:08):
I take as much as I can, and then finally
snap and tell my husband enough is enough. He talks
to her. She starts panicking about not being the favorite
grandparent and wants to have the most bonding time with
the new baby. After we go back to work at
three months, it usually settles down because I have my
dad watch the kids two days. She watches them two days,

(31:30):
against my wishes, but my husband says it's only fair
if my dad gets to and my husband is off
one day during the week. However, I started working from
home now that I have four babies and no longer
need childcare. This has sent her into a whole new
frenzy of irrational behavior. My mother in law and sister
in law call crying, saying they miss the kids so

(31:53):
much they can't go five days without seeing them.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
That sucks. Guess what, not your kids? Not your kid.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
Since I've put a stop to them coming over, my
husband now takes the kids to their house, so they
call and ask him multiple times a day, and if
he says no, it's poor me, and she starts threatening
to show up. My husband refuses to say no. I
no longer allow my kids to spend the night with
her because she lies about taking my kids places and

(32:21):
has serious physical limitations. She's had back surgery with her
spine and neck fused in several places, has limited head
mobility and balance issues, falls with the least little misstep,
and has limited strength. She can barely hold my fourteen
pound four and a half month year old, let alone

(32:43):
manage a car seat. She can't put my two four
and five year old in their car seats. My sister
in law doesn't know how to buckle the seats either,
and makes us do it when loading the kids, so
they're not getting buckled into any car when they go places.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
That's crazy. Sorry, how do you buckle it in?

Speaker 2 (33:02):
You?

Speaker 4 (33:02):
Just how do you buckle?

Speaker 1 (33:03):
See you put it through this? It shows you I
know the.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
Car seats are difficult to put into the car, but
then once they're in it, the buckles usually stay the same.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
But also, didn't we learn with the first one. I
guess like everyone learns with the first kid, but we're
on kid number four and we still don't know how
to do this At this point. It's not just like
the sanity for myself, but it's also the safety of
my children.

Speaker 4 (33:27):
Right. She's never been around children other than ours and
doesn't pay close enough attention to them. My father in
law has never even held a baby before my oldest
and has had several strokes this past year with cognitive impairment.
But they're in denial and let him watch the kids alone.
Last month, we were over for Father's Day and they

(33:47):
let my father in law take my two year old
to the garage to pretend to drive his antique truck.
Even after I said no, he forgot he was watching
him and wandered off cleaning the garage, leaving the truck
door open. My son fell out of the truck and
fell head first to the ground. Oh thankfully he landed
on a big bag, but still got a bad bruise

(34:09):
on his head. I told my husband several times to
go check on them, but he didn't want to upset
my mother in law and said I was being too overprotective,
which is always his comeback.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
That's too overprotective. When your child literally falls head first.

Speaker 4 (34:25):
That's a concussion. You have a bruise on your head.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
It's a concussion, especially if they're young enough. Because they're
off they're soft. Ah what all right? Okay, we got
a set of boundary, but it's not helping when your
husband is so compliant to their wishes.

Speaker 4 (34:43):
Even though I've told them multiple times I don't want
them driving. They bought car seats anyway, right after I
had my last baby, when I was on strict rest
because I almost passed away. My husband told them they
could have the older three for a night, so they
got the seats again, uh, and caused us to get
in a huge fight. He basically said they were allowed

(35:04):
to take them wherever they want, and that was that.
I couldn't physically do anything and just sat on the
couch fuming while she laughed in my face when she
got to her house and made my husband install the
seats for her, making passive aggressive comments like oh, we'll
be careful, don't worry, your highness, we won't go to
too many places with a smirk that you're just stuck

(35:26):
on the couch because she almost passed away and you
are taunting her. Yeah, and as a husband, you are
helping them.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
And you want the safety for your children, and you're
also just so stressed out.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
I don't think that husband wants the safety for his
children or good wife.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
He doesn't care. He just wants whatever appieces to his mother,
mainly his mother.

Speaker 4 (35:47):
Guess what. They haven't stayed the night at their house
since they got so upset when my husband told them
no for the first time after I said enough was
enough with them showing up unannounced that they called four
times in one day saying they were coming over. He
told them no each time, so they went and bought
a whole SUV. They called at nine point thirty at
night asking to come by while we were getting the

(36:09):
kids to sleep, just to show us the car. They
can't even afford it. My mother in law is a
gambling regular user over fifteen thousand dollars in debt who
doesn't work, and my sister in law co signed because
she has good credit but only works part time. My
father in law is a veteran, so they qualified under

(36:30):
some program. While here, my mother in law starts bragging
and rubbing it in my face that now she has
all the room she needs for all her grandchildren since
she has an suv, all smug like she won.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
You dropped him on his head, like, shut up, you
just bought a car where now he gets to fall farther? Yeah, idiot.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
I just laughed and reminded her that there are four
kids now and she still only bought a two row.
When I tell you, I've never seen a smile drop
so fast, she just said, oh yeah and walked out
the door. They bought it so fast out of spite
that they literally didn't even count how many seats they
needed or do any research. My current issue is that

(37:17):
my son is starting school next week. She wants to
come to the first day with us to drop him off.
My parents are coming. They have with all my nieces,
and its tradition. They usually say hi, take a picture,
but allow my brother to actually walk into class. I
personally would prefer them not to come with my son,
but its tradition, and they're the reason we're going to

(37:37):
this nice school. They bought us a house in an
amazing school district in a new subdivision that's much safer
than where we were living for the sole purpose of
my kids going to a better school. We pay them
rent each month, but they're the whole reason we have
this opportunity, so I owe it to them to allow
them to come. Plus, my brother's new fiance has a

(37:58):
five year old that's thankful going to be in my
son's class, so they have two grandkids to go watch,
not just my son. My son is very anxious with
separation anxiety and has never been away from us. We
signed him up for baseball the last two years to
help him socially. The first year he wouldn't even go
on the field alone until the last twoms.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
So that's so cute. Oh but no, man, buddy, I'll
be okay.

Speaker 4 (38:28):
You're right here at the fence right. He's doing amazing
this year and has become much more independent, but it's
been a lot of hard work. My mother in law,
sister in law, and father in law want to go
to the actual classroom with us. They are over the
top emotional and always have to be the center of attention.
I feel it will be too much for my son

(38:50):
to have an audience of three additional people, all there
just for him, especially since they'll make it a big deal.
My husband asked when the first day was while on
the phone with mother in law. I waited for him
to get off the phone and tried to calmly explain
all the reasons I didn't think it was a good
idea for them to come. He instantly blew up and
said he needs his mom there for support because he'll

(39:12):
be a basket case. He's very emotional too, and he
has been dreading this day since before our son was born.
Refuses to talk about school and says it was the
worst day of his life, feeling like he was being
abandoned by his mom.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Okay, this is stemming from another issue.

Speaker 4 (39:29):
Then, sounds like his mom should be there for him,
not your son. Yeah, he said he was coming and
instantly dropped it, kept changing the subject. The kids were
in the car and I didn't want them to hear
us argue, so I dropped it too. I'm waiting for
the right time to tell him that she is not
coming to the first day, that I'm tired of him

(39:49):
choosing her side instead of mine and not backing me up,
that I'm his wife, and he should be respecting my
wishes and not casting them aside to go with whatever
his mother wants, and that he needs to stick up
for me for once. We have other issues we've been
working through, essentially his drinking problems, depression, infidelity, and lying.

(40:11):
We broke up last year, but I found out I
was pregnant a week later.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
Oh okay.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
I told him I would give it until the baby
was born if he proved he was working on himself.
We went to couples therapy. He stopped drinking as far
as I know, has stopped the apps he was using,
and is working on his depression. We've actually been doing
a lot better, but the only area we clash in
still is his mom. I'm finally fed up with coming

(40:37):
in second to her and having my wishes and concerns ignored.
She relies on him for support and turns to him
more as a partner than a son, and he's equally codependent.
I've dealt with this for nine years, but the more
boundaries I try to draw, the more she pushes, and
with her husband sick, now it's worse than ever. I'm

(41:00):
afraid of drawing a line in the sand because it
might be the final one and cause the end of
our relationship. Am I overreacting? Is this worth going low
contact or even no contact?

Speaker 1 (41:12):
It's it's totally worth it. But the thing is that's
not going to change your husband's relationship with his mother. Yeah,
and that relationship with you.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
He's not going to go low or no contact exactly.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
So it's like, it's not the ultimatum unfore it, but
you might have to be an ultimatum.

Speaker 4 (41:32):
Breezed through a plethora of other issues there.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, well that came out of that curveball me y
whoa wha, wha, wha, wha, whoa whoa. That should have
been very pertinent earlier. Yeah, I know it's rough because
you have four kids, but this family is just causing
you stress and stress and stress, zero support. They they

(41:56):
smirk at you when you don't when they get their
way and you don't get yours with all that prenotion stuff.
I mean, it's it's it's a rough situation there, Like
you had me with the kids and like going to kindergarten,
you know, supporting that.

Speaker 4 (42:11):
But I would be worried if they did divorce, what
split custody would look like?

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Oh, with the family.

Speaker 4 (42:21):
That's that crazy on one side. Oh yeah, that intense
and if there would be any precautions that you could
have written into that against them with your days pace
for the divorce if that happened.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
But it has to get to a point where enough
is enough, you know, for your sanity and for your
kids safety.

Speaker 4 (42:41):
Yeah, that was I'm still processing the last like three sentences.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
Out of nowhere. I wait, okay, yeah, we got we
got figured out.

Speaker 4 (42:49):
And then what Okay, my friend paid me five hundred
dollars to leave the trip because they weren't comfortable with me.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
You could have got some more money for that.

Speaker 4 (42:59):
My partner, Lauren and I are both twenty seven female.
We are Sappix child free homeowners, special ed teachers with
very comfortable income. We splurge occasionally, but we budget and
are frugal. By the way, this comes from Aziza twenty
nine And if you want us to meet your own stories,
go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So Lauren

(43:20):
has a longtime friend group of five girls yearly girls
trips meet in various places across the country, and we're
in the US using one friend we'll call her Sally's
timeshare enter the girl's July trip in Tahoe, Nevada. Usually
partners don't attend, but the group agreed I could join

(43:40):
because we would be flying in from another vacation. Okay, great.
I'm happy to get to know my partner's friends more,
and I'm a girl too, so it should be chill.
Prior to the trip, Lauren booked a rental minivan to
accommodate our large group with the girl's consent. That fell through,
and another girl took it upon herself to book an
alternate minivan without anyone else's input. A heads up would

(44:04):
have been cool, but no big deal. Airport, Lauren and
I made it to the destination airport on time. Turns
out the rest of the group's plane was many hours
delayed and re routed. They informed us that they modified
the rental car to a smaller vehicle for just their
group and suggested we get our own. We had asked
them to change it back and said we prefer to

(44:26):
wait for them to only have one car. Radio silence
after that, Ahhhh, the classic. We asked for updates, but
nobody responded for hours. At this point, we have no
clue where in America they are no eta, no clue
when they would arrive, just nothing. Our names are not

(44:47):
on the hotel slash car reservations, so we have nowhere
to go. We are forced to buy gross overpriced airport
food and lay on benches, which is super painful for
me as I have a disability related to to my
hips and spine. We both had a bit of a
meltdown from the stress. Eleven hours later, eleven hours they

(45:09):
show up at nine thirty pm. We've all been up
since two am, so we give each other grace and
go to bed. No more minivans are available, so we
have to pile into a crappy work pickup truck with
no leg room, super cramped. Nobody mentioned this obvious fact
and we moved on. I'm just thankful we're getting out
of the airport at this point groceries. While we waited

(45:33):
at the airport and they waited for their next flight,
I asked to put our Walmart grocery order through for pickup,
containing the list we all created together last week and
agreed upon. We previously agreed this made sense overall when
they all admitted that overspending is a historical issue on
these strips, plus it'd be faster and less stressful given
their plane delays. Nope, huge pushback. Everyone hates Walmart. No

(45:58):
one likes anything on the list. They don't I don't
want sourdough, brie or cold brew and want to go
to a store the next morning instead. I didn't push it.
I understand they were very overwhelmed and frustrated from the
travel issues and agreed. Next morning, I hear them making
a list to go to the all natural, all organic
grocery store. I almost exploded listening to them make an

(46:22):
identical list to last night, including the sourdough, bris, cold brew,
and other food they literally didn't want.

Speaker 5 (46:33):
Anoying, Lauren and I went to the pool while they
shopped for three hours and spent almost three hundred and
fifty dollars double what Walmart would have been.

Speaker 4 (46:46):
That's their choice, so we just let it go. Days
one through four things progressively got worse. We did river rafting, thrifted,
went to the beach ate fun due but nobody is smiling.
There's lots of silence and were all avoiding eye contact.
They opted to go to a coffee shop every morning

(47:06):
for breakfast instead of eating the groceries they all huddled
in one bedroom to hang out, or left for long
periods of time without communicating. They got offended when we
opted to eat sandwiches in the hotel room rather than
go out for lunch. We had planned to drive to
a spot to watch the sunset as a group, but
they went without us because they didn't think we would

(47:27):
want to come that one really hurt night.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
That's so crazy that they're like, yeah, sunsets. We just
thought you guys didn't like yeah, like beauty of.

Speaker 4 (47:36):
The world, right, you don't want to see that night four.
Lauren was getting really upset, having anxiety about this group interaction.
She set up a time to talk to her best
friend Sally privately one on one. It finally came out
that Sally had been brooding slash upset about many things,
the biggest being that she and the other girls never

(47:57):
wanted any partners me to come on the trip but
didn't bring it up, and they're upset that I'm here.
They don't feel like they can be themselves. Mind you,
I'm a naturally quiet person. I've been going with the
flow this whole time and letting these issues slide. At
the end of the convo, Sally said that for her
and the other girl's comfort, Lauren and I should leave

(48:20):
in the morning. Lauren expressed concern that we might not
be able to do that because we're in a remote area,
transportation is limited and hotels are really expensive, and uber
from Tahoe to Reno is one hundred and thirty dollars.
Hotels are one hundred and fifty a night, and we
have two nights to go. Changing flights would be four

(48:40):
hundred dollars each, so that's off the table. Then Sally
said she would send Lauren five hundred dollars for her
to figure it out and leave in the morning, and
she literally did. She sent us five hundred dollars just
so we would leave.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
That's an end because what because you're just like a couple.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
Yeah, what is it about a.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
Partner being there that prevents you from just being yourselves?

Speaker 4 (49:06):
You should have said you didn't want partners before she
came on the trip. So we booked our last two
nights at a hotel and left this morning. We're okay now,
but I'm still pretty shocked that we got punted out
by Lauren's best friend and baffled that she wanted us
to leave that bad. Totally unwilling to work this out.
Call me crazy, but a little communication would have gone

(49:27):
a long way. Here? Am I overreacting? We have an
edit to add the invitation. All communication was through Lauren.
The logistics were discussed via FaceTime call because flights needed
to be coordinated. Lauren and I were flying from another vacation,
so the topic of my attendance arose, and the girls
enthusiastically stated that I should join. Lauren followed up with

(49:51):
a text a few days later to double check on
this and to give them an opportunity to share any
concerns about my attendance, and was again met with with
positivity from everyone, including Sally, who owns the timeshare and
would have final say. All they had to say was
we want this trip to be just for friends. Let's

(50:11):
not bring partners this time. I'd be totally respectful and
would be happy to back off, fly home alone and
Lauren can do her thing in Tahoe with her friends.
But nothing of the sort was said or hinted at.
I understand people have a hard time saying no and
this would be uncomfortable to communicate, but they are adults.
This is Sally's trip, and if she felt that someone

(50:34):
should not attend, it is her responsibility to say so.
Why did I choose to wait eleven hours at the airport?
Not a great answer, but sunk cost fallacy. The first
and only communication said they'd arrive in a couple hours,
so we held out. We texted and called asking for
additional updates eta flight number, but didn't receive any responses,

(50:56):
and so they showed up at baggage claim eleven hours later.
Upon their arrival, we learned the delays had doubled and
they had been re routed with an unexpected stopover in
a random city. We had no idea it would be
eleven hours. If I had, we definitely would have figured
out an alternate plan for the day. Also, we had

(51:17):
two large suitcases that would be tough to drag to
another location, and I use forearm crushes to walk, which
makes the suitcases more of an issue. Not saying it
couldn't be done, but it wouldn't be easy. Personality clashes.
I grossly underestimated how much personalities slash lifestyle preferences would

(51:38):
clash on this trip. I spend my free time laying
in the grass and listening to records with a cat
on my lap. I like things cheap, clean and quiet.
I'm a textbook virgo, organized and straightforward.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
Sounds like the dree.

Speaker 4 (51:54):
My idea of a great vacation is camping in the
middle of nowhere with some mushrooms. These are my ami aries,
girls with designer purses who are very loud, spontaneous, and outgoing.
They go places just for the photos and fluctuate between
cross faded and impulsive. Lauren can go either way and
tends to follow the group, but she prefers a more

(52:16):
settled slash quiet life, hence why we're together. These women
were literally all of Sally's bridal party. The group has
lots of history. They are not people i'd pursue a
friendship with on my own. I am their friend's girlfriend,
not their friend. I knew we'd differ on a lot
of things, but I didn't anticipate how big of a

(52:36):
clash it would create.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Got a little bit more but crazy that they're like,
it's friends only. Maybe try making friends with one of
your best friend's partners.

Speaker 4 (52:46):
Also, though they didn't say it was friends only, they
were asked multiple times if she could come, and they
were like.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
Of course, yeah, yeah, but even that excuse is like, yeah,
how are you as adults not able to just like
make friends with your part You're like your friend's partner. Like, yeah,
I get it, maybe the vibes are different, but like.

Speaker 4 (53:07):
You should at least be able to be friends. I
can understand them being like, hey, don't come on this
girl's trip that we do every year. But then you
like they need to pull their big boy pants up
and say that flat out not let you get to
the trip and then send you home. Why am I
so frugal? Yes, we are dinks. About fifty percent of
our income goes to retirement slash savings, and we shop

(53:29):
at the cheapest grocery store in town so that we
can afford vacations on school breaks. We love to road trip,
tent camp, and hang with family. We spend almost all
of our six week vacation out of town ten night
camping slash road trip, two weeks with family, one week
in DC, and this one week Tahoe trip all in

(53:49):
a row. Oh that's pretty sick. This being the last
trip of the summer. We just wanted to chill at
the pool and eat a pbn J, not blow money
on horseback. Riding last. Yes, I'm autistic and have been
professionally diagnosed. Social situations are not my strong suit, and
I could definitely improve in situational awareness and taking hints.

(54:10):
So maybe this plays a larger role than I realized.
I didn't originally include this because I didn't want autism
to be an excuse, because it's not. Thank you for
all the comments who told it to me straight. That's
what I needed all along, And I have learned a
lot from all of this. That is the end of that.

Speaker 3 (54:27):
Well, all you can do is learn.

Speaker 4 (54:30):
Yeah, I mean, I think that Sally and that whole
group are definitely in the wrong, and it sucks to
have gone through that and to feel that way. But
I mean, hopefully you don't. You guys can distance yourself
from them.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Because it's honestly so easy to just be chill, yeah,
you know, like they could have just been like, oh, well,
well it's nice to meet you, like welcome to the trip.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
You know.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
It didn't have to be this, like we're gonna give
you five hundred dollars to.

Speaker 3 (54:58):
Get out of here.

Speaker 4 (55:00):
Ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
I would never recover from that.

Speaker 4 (55:02):
They had two more days left, and none of them
could just suck it up, no matter how miserable they
were like.

Speaker 3 (55:07):
And what exactly made them so miserable, just like.

Speaker 4 (55:10):
They just said, were different.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
Yeah, that's it's crazy.

Speaker 4 (55:13):
No, it was ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
If that's anyone's fault, it's not op's fault, it's it's
all the other girl's faulty.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
Being like sat.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
Friend side bullies.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
Yeah crazy Here, it's johnyo Og host Here. We're gonna
get back to the stories. But he's a quick three
minute break of ass from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
My friend disrespected me multiple times.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
Now she wants a.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
Favor, just a simple favor.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
I'm a nineteen year old woman living in Philly, Go birds.
I've been emancipated since I was fifteen. Long story short,
My home life was unstable, and after a year of
bouncing between couches and school counselors advocating for me, I
took control of my own life. At sixteen, I got
full responsibility for my little brother, who's ten now, and
I've basically been raising him ever since. And every dollar

(56:01):
I make supports us both. No parents in the picture,
no family handouts, just grit, prayer, and ambition. And by
the way, this comes from user Striking Airline and ninety
seven hundred on the Charlotte Dobray YouTube subreddit, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime suburd. I started my own nail
business two months ago in my house at first. Just recently,

(56:25):
I have bought my own studio, not a booth, not
a shared space, a full on private studio with branding, licensing,
my own chair, booking system, the works. It's small, but clean, cozy,
and esthetically me. I saved for nearly a year from
Applebee's and little side jobs reselling clothing, etc. I taught
myself acrylics, worked part time jobs, and built a following

(56:48):
on TikTok and Instagram. I've had weeks where I make
one thousand or two thousand in straight appointments, and I'm
proud of that.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
My regulars come from all over Philly.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
Justice get sets by me, and I poured love and
everything from the cuticle oil to the Spotify playlist. Now
enter my maybe former best friend. We'll call her Maya.
We've been friends since the end of eighth grade. I
used to stay over at her place when things got
bad at my place. We bonded hard and fast, and
for years she's been my twin. My best friend lived

(57:21):
in Mercer, so Maya was one of the few I
could rely on. We'd talk on FaceTime till three am,
made vision boards together, cried over boys together.

Speaker 3 (57:31):
She even helped me design the logo for my studio.
It's always been ride or die until recently.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Back in April, I started planning a birthday trip for
my twentieth I turned twenty this November and wanted to
celebrate somewhere fun.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
After years of surviving, I finally had the ability to
actually live.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
I picked Miami, locked down the Airbnb, booked my flight,
and created a full itinerary with spot as, jet, ski options,
rooftop dinners, and booked activities. It was going to be
five girls, including Maya, and I fronted the entire deposit
under the agreement that they'd pay me back in installments.
Maya swore she was good for it, but in late May,

(58:09):
Maya started getting close with a girl named liv A
social media battie.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
As Live refers to herself who just screams messy.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Suddenly she's posting cryptic captions, going on weekday brunches and
calling Live her twin flame. I didn't care at first,
friends grow whatever, but she started brushing me off, skipping
our calls, acting shady about the trip. Anytime I asked
if she'd sent her portion for the airbnb, it was always, oh,
I'll zellya next week.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Now I'm waiting for a brand deal to clear.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Two weeks ago I opened Instagram and Maya's in Miami
at the same airbnb, same activities with live. Oh, that's
so frustrating, especially at like nineteen.

Speaker 4 (58:55):
Oh yeah, no, like the mad.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
Yeah, It's like at this point in my life, I'm like,
I you do you you can have your best friend.

Speaker 3 (59:02):
It would be whoever you want. I guess you goofy.
That was a goofy way to go about.

Speaker 4 (59:07):
That, You silly goofy girl.

Speaker 5 (59:08):
Man.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
At nineteen, I would be so deeply.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Hurt by this.

Speaker 4 (59:13):
I think I'd still be pretty hurt now. I just
would have a much different attitude about like, like that
would just be the end of that.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
Yeah, exactly. It's like I wouldn't be it wouldn't be
like this thing. I would be like tormented over. It'd
be like, oh, okay, well, I mean that sucks, but
and clearly this is like, I feel like this is
live trying to somehow flex like, Oh, I'm the better
I'm the cooler friend, Like you definitely want to be
best friends than me.

Speaker 4 (59:36):
I wonder. Yeah, yeah, she see that, and she's.

Speaker 2 (59:38):
Got a little more money, a little more notoriety, and
your friend is shallow. She posted a boomerang clinking glasses
on a rooftop bar I literally had in our original itinerary,
the one I made. I DMed her asking if this
was some kind of sick joke, and her reply was, girl,
I figured the trip wasn't even happening anymore. You've been
focused on your business and I didn't want to pressure

(59:59):
you already had planned, so I tagged along.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
Sorry you're mad. Sorry you're mad is crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:00:05):
That's so you can be. I said, sorry, sorry you're mad,
it's you. I didn't do anything. Sorry you took offense
to that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Yet when I tell you, my flabbers were gasted then,
and I swear to God, I cannot make this up.
Four days ago, she texted me asking if she can
use my nail studio to host her new lash brand's
launch party. Apparently the venue she had fell through last minute,
and she wanted to do something authentic, com cute.

Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
She told me your studio would.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
Be perfect, It'll be super light. I'll clean up after,
we'll tag your brand too.

Speaker 3 (01:00:35):
I said no.

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
I told her point blank, after the way she handled
the trip, I no longer felt comfortable offering my space,
especially once she had zero interest in supporting Lately. She
replied with this long paragraph about how she always knew
I'd switch up once I started making money and that
I was letting ego and fake business boundaries ruin our sisterhood.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
What a what a buffoon?

Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
I don't think that's what ruined your sisterhood. It was
you going on a trip with Lisz.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Like, it's crazy that now you're just trying to put
op down, while will you know exactly what you did
right now? You're just trying to be like, yeah, your
success changed you. It's like, will no who you think
you are?

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
Mind you?

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
This is the same sister quote unquote who used to
ask me for ten dollars to buy press ons before
I had my studio, The same one who called me
crying after her situationship ghosted her and I sent Uber
eats to her apartment.

Speaker 3 (01:01:33):
Now our mutual friends are split.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Some say I was petty that I could have just
let her use the space for two hours. Others, especially
the ones who've had similar fallouts, say I was way
too nice even answering her text. So am I the
a hole for refusing to let my best friend supposedly
best friend use the nail studio I built from scratch
after she hijacked my birthday trip and replaced me Because honestly,

(01:01:57):
I'm tired of being the emotionally responsible one while everyone
else plays victim when boundaries go up. And to clarify
some things in an edit, I am licensed. I graduated
high school early and went to cosmetology school by the state.
If you are emancipated, they pay your schooling and housing.
The legal age to become a licensed nail tech is

(01:02:17):
sixteen in Philly. There are a whole bunch with businesses
that age too. It is very much possible for me
to be a licensed nail tech. Yes, I did complete
my hours, and I found my studio at a cheap price.

Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
It wasn't like it was four hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
I make a good amount of money and did before
becoming an official nail tech. Also, back in high school
is when I started practicing nails. It is possible. Yeah,
don't listen to all the hater comments op trying to
tell you that like this isn't real. Those are just
people who don't know like that you can like chase
your dreams and accomplish them.

Speaker 4 (01:02:50):
We know your question.

Speaker 3 (01:02:51):
Yeah, yeah, it is possible.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
I bought Timu and Amazon sets and materials and started
practicing on my friends. This was around early tenth grade.
I took pictures and started promoting myself. I'm also really
good at art, so the only part I had to
master was the acrylic, which I did.

Speaker 3 (01:03:08):
In eleventh grade.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
I did go and learn more things in cosmetology school.
You can never know enough, and I only knew how
to do certain things. I completed my hours and eventually
got my certification, which was a little over three months ago,
and officially started my business.

Speaker 3 (01:03:21):
And we have an update.

Speaker 4 (01:03:24):
I mean, Garley, I don't I do nothing that you
are in any way wrong for not letting her into
your nail studio.

Speaker 6 (01:03:30):
She totally like flaked or tried to like outdo your
birthday trip basically, and then gave a terrible apology if
you won't even call it that, And I was like, hey,
can we.

Speaker 4 (01:03:41):
Like use your space first? No? Also, did she ever
even pay you for your trip?

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
Exactly? I would have sent her.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
I'd be like, oh, if you want to use my space,
that's gonna be like, however much the trip cost plus
like a little.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Extron job plus.

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
I'm for sure yeah, And she'd be like, what you're
gonna make me pay?

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
I'm like, oh, yeah. This is a business update.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
After Maya texted to asking to use my studio for
her Lash brand launch after ditching me for the Miami
trip I planned. I told her I wasn't comfortable with it.
I didn't yell or drag her. I just calmly said no,
and she didn't take it very well. I called her
yesterday and asked her to meet with me later on
at a cafe. When we did meet and her Lash
event came up, she hit me with a gilt trip.

(01:04:24):
I thought you'd support me like I've.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
Always supported you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
You're really gonna let money come between us. It's just
a few hours. I'll clean up after I let her talk,
and then I said, if you want to use the studio,
it's seven hundred and fifty dollars for the evening plus
a two hundred dollars cleaning deposit.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
That's my standard rate.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
I don't do favors through guilt. That's cheaper than what
her share of the Miami trip was.

Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
She was stunned.

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
Tried to play well, wait, nine hundred and fifty day, what.

Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
That's an expensive lot.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
And since your friend keeps harping on this money thing,
I feel like she just doesn't want to say she
can't afford to go on your Miami trip, and she
went with Live because she was more able to pay
for things. That's just my gut feeling here. She was
stunned and tried to play it off like I was joking.
Then she got defensive, said I was acting brand new

(01:05:17):
since my business started doing well. That I used to
be humble, and I wouldn't even have the studio if
it weren't for her helping with that logo.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
I didn't take debit. I just said, this is a business.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
You want to host a brand launch and a space
I own that I built from scratch. You pay for it,
just like anyone else would. She tried to negotiate and
offered one hundred dollars in total. Said she tagged me
on Instagram and maybe bring in new clients. I told
her exposure doesn't pay rent. She said she'd think about it,
so I left, leaving her with the bill. Later that night,
she texted, Okay, I'll pay the full amount. Send the contract.

(01:05:52):
I replied, thanks, that's it, no emoji, no extra words,
just thanks.

Speaker 3 (01:05:57):
Because here's the truth. Even though I'm sending it on track,
she's not getting the space.

Speaker 4 (01:06:02):
Ooh, what does that mean?

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
She finally respected the value of what I built, but
that doesn't mean she's entitled to it. I didn't need
to argue, I didn't need to explain myself again. I
just needed her to understand that this studio isn't a favor.
It's not a backdrop for someone who only sees my
worth when it benefits her.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
It's the first thing I've ever.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Owned that's truly mine, and I'm not handing it over
to someone who treated me like an afterthought.

Speaker 3 (01:06:29):
I'm kind of I'm turning. Okay, I'm turning on both
of them.

Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
You're about to send her a contract, let her sign it,
and take any amount of money, and then block her
from this from the space. I think even getting so
far as having her sign something. I'm turning like this
is way too much for her just going on another trip, Yeah,
when she was potentially still planning to go to your
birthday trip. Like, yeah, was it a slap in the

(01:06:54):
face for sure, but like you're really.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
Taking this far yeah, and also probably opening yourself up
to if you send her a legit contract and she
signs it, like you're opening yourself up to legal repercussions.

Speaker 4 (01:07:10):
And also don't you want the money? That's a lot
of money.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
Yeah, I mean that's a solid amount for an evening
for a twenty year old.

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
And it's like, I think, you know, a lot of
this is just framed around like because we're nineteen or twenty.

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
It's like that's and it's and it's you know, it hurt,
but that's so much money.

Speaker 2 (01:07:27):
The OP is clearly very hurt, yeah, and is just
fully operating from a place of I want justice from
my hurt feelings. I'm turning twenty in November. I've been
raising my little brother since he was born. I've had
weeks where I make more than people twice my age.
I've survived things Maya couldn't even imagine, and now that
I finally have peace, I'm protecting it so yeah, she

(01:07:49):
agreed to pay, but she's not getting the space, and
I'm not the ale. I'm just done being convenient. Also,
thank you to a user for giving me the idea
to let her pay. So when the event day happens
and she sees I'm with a client with nothing set up,
I can say, girl, I thought the event wasn't happening,
so I decided to take a client.

Speaker 4 (01:08:07):
Huh huh, it's just what do you mean that's a contract?

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
Yeah, you're just being you're being You're being very You.

Speaker 4 (01:08:15):
Can't do that. You you should not do that against it.

Speaker 3 (01:08:18):
Okay, there's it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:20):
I didn't sign the contract, and in print before the
signature it says I'm acknowledging that I will not actually
be getting the space to use, and I consent to
paying back every penny I owe from borrowing.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
It is not It is also not small.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
It's very readable, So if she signed, she either agrees
or just didn't read it, and it's.

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
Not my problem.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
I'm pretty sure legally you would get screwed for a
your faith contract. You can't just put like and also,
I'm gonna give op all of my money like and
then be your honors.

Speaker 3 (01:08:52):
She signed the contract.

Speaker 4 (01:08:54):
Full deceit right there.

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
Yeah, they're terrible, that's yeah, I would. I hope a
comment here.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
I hope this comment sets the record straight on what
we should be doing.

Speaker 3 (01:09:04):
Comme at one. I'm here after your update about.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
The contract not really being a rental contract but being
a payment agreement. And I'm telling you do not do
this legally. You may, and I do mean may not
get in trouble, but there will be all kinds of
negative fallout for the business you've worked so hard to
build up. You'll get a bad reputation in the community
that will have a negative impact on it. She may

(01:09:27):
also be able to convince a judge that the signed
contract to pay was completely separate from a verbal contract
to rent your space for your own peace of mind
and for the future of your business. Just tell her
you've changed your mind and let it go before you
were revenge comes back to.

Speaker 3 (01:09:40):
Bite you in the butt. Or take her freaking money
and ignore her after.

Speaker 4 (01:09:48):
Let her use the space. Take the money, yes, be
done with her.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
Take the nine hundred and fifty dollars she's willing to
pay to use the space for an evening, and then
let her you and use that money to do.

Speaker 4 (01:10:01):
Something great, get a new nail set or something new
nail kit.

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
Yeah, don't be vindictive. Yeah, you're only hurting yourself. Also,
your trip isn't until November. Just because she went and
did all the things you were planning doesn't mean she
stole your trip or anything. Other people get to do
fun things too. Comment to says, the difference is she
didn't sign a legally binding contract to go on your
trip with you. If you sign the contract in ever over,
she can sue you and that is the end of

(01:10:26):
that story.

Speaker 4 (01:10:27):
Yeah, oh my god, I want to know.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
Yeah, that's the I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
I'm sure Op read those comments and was like all right,
Because Op seems to be very no nonsense about her business.
Maybe she really just thought like, well, if I make
the contract about this, I can be okay with it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:42):
I mean, she also immediately took that advice from one
comment or to make a fake contract.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
Yeah, but it's like she's in the hurt stage. She's
in the oof my feelings.

Speaker 4 (01:10:51):
Don't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:52):
Yeah, don't do that. It would be a terrible, terrible mistake.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I told my wife to wear a DIFFERENT swimsuit… because I was uncomfortable!-r/amioverreacting | Reddit Stories