December 20, 2025 • 53 mins
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00:13 r/TIFU - TIFU by trying to surprise my wife for her birthday and almost getting divorced
15:38 r/raisedbynarcissists - My Parents Are Triggered Because I Wanted to Bake Cookies with My Boyfriend
33:39 r/relationships - I [18 F] left my laptop open and my sister [15 F] replaced everything in my "Hobbies & Passions" section on my resumé with just "garlic bread" as a joke. I unknowingly sent it out to about 20-30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it.
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og Storytime
podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
But before that, we get a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like
a little house.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
I try to surprise my wife, but it nearly ended
our marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Surprises are tricky.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Ain't that all right? I'll admit it. I have been
the most attentive husband lately. My wife has told me
I need to make more of an effort in our
relationship or they would have problems. I've tried really hard
to invest in our relationship ever since finding out my
wife is not feeling as happy as she should be.
By the way, this comes from deleted and if you
(00:39):
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash okay story Time Suberreddit.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
I'm Riley, I'm Tom, and I'm Keon and obviously we
have a guest today. Today's guest is a man who
proves comedy and carbs truly belong together. He's a comedian,
best selling author, podcast host, and avid breadmaker now teaming
up with Nambay for his brand new break bread collection,
which launched on October first. Inspired by his love of baking,
(01:04):
especially sourdough, which I'm gonna look into that. The collection
includes everything from elegant measuring spoons and cannisters to knives, utensils,
and premium cutting board perfect for bakers and entertainers alike.
You know him from his hit podcast Breaking Bread with
Tom Papa, where he shares food and last with guests
like Matt Damon, Jimmy Kimmel, and Ali Wong, or from
What a Joke with Papa and Fortune on Serious XM.
(01:27):
He's released six stand up specials, including his latest Netflix special,
Home Free, and is currently on his Grateful Bread Tour.
You've seen him on The Today Show, GMA three, Colbert
and Conan, and now he's here with us. Please welcome
Tom Papa.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Finally made it. That's right, I finally made the big time.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yeah, yeah, you're here. Thanks for having me, dude, Thanks
for coming. Like he drove like four hours a day
on her.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, it's gonna be about ten going home.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
It will be uh. But just a reminder, we are
here to give good advice. Goofully, but we don't have
all the answers. Papa does have more than I do.
We only know what we do, so let us know
what you would do in the comments down below. So Op,
He continues, This f up happened last week. My wife's
birthday was coming up. I decided to go big. My
(02:13):
wife absolutely loves surprises, so I decided to surprise her
with the romantic night and lots of flowers and presents.
She had to go to work early in the morning
of her birthday, and I had the day off. Oh,
I had time to plan everything out. Okay, I mean,
I'm thinking, you know, dinner, wine roses.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah, he's already off to a great start. He's thinking
he's got it, he's got the tie, he's made the time.
Uh huh, and his sole focus is to make his
wife happy. Yes, sky sounds fantastic. What could possibly go wrong?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Well, he continues, I decided, being the idiot, I am
to pretend that I had forgotten my wife's birthday, just
to make the surprise, well even more of a surprise.
I have no idea what it is today.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Oh jeez, Louise.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
The plan was as follow. My wife wakes up and
I don't mention her birthday. She thinks I've forgotten. She
goes to work and I get everything ready. She comes
home in the evening after work and today uh huh,
she will open the door and I'll be waiting with
her with gifts, flowers, dinner and everything romantic I could
(03:26):
think of. Hmm, sounds like an amazing plan, right.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yes, so far, so far, I'm not completely in.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Little there's a couple of flaws.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
I think, like, oh, happy birthday, yes exactly, you know, yeah,
you're right, that's sending her off to get to be angry.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
On the commute.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Did you cook a breakfast?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Like?
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Nothing like that's yeah, it's a little weird, big, high risk.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Nothing special happened in the morning
and my wife left for work while I slept in.
During the day, I got everything ready and apart from
only messing up the dessert, everything went great. When it
was time to wait for my wife to return. She
was supposed to get home after four pm. Four thirty nothing,
(04:10):
five pm, still nothing.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
I was starting to get worried, and I texted her
where she was mm hmm. Around five thirty she read
my message but didn't reply.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Sounds like an affair, but go ahead.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
He gets it, he gets it. It's a coin toss
at this point, who really knows high risk. I was
starting to get extremely worried and texted her if she
was okay. That's when she replied. She texted me, opening
up about how she couldn't believe I had forgotten her birthday,
even after her expressing to me how she had felt
neglected in the relationship and wanting me to put in
(04:48):
more effort. Oh, I forgot about that. He's kind of
already in the doghouse.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, but he still he's still got the plan.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Okay, yeah, he can still come back.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
But now, but this is what you and I were
suspicious of early on, was you send her off angry,
and you're right, he was in the doghouse. So she's
it just affirms what she like. She's not going one
hundred percent. Trust I don't know where this is going,
but she's not one hundred percent. It was just she
comes back and there's a bunch of stuff. She's not
one hundred percent going to believe that he didn't just
(05:18):
pull it out last minute.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
You know what I mean, love bombing kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah, like he's yeah, he's kind of put to your point,
he was already in a hole and now he dug
it deeper, so he's very confident with himself.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I love his confidence and all my stupidity still decided
to play dumb to make my big surprise work. I
told her to just get home so we could talk
about it. Big mistake. She told me she was done
talking and started mentioning divorce.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Come on, do you think she's where do you think
she's texting this from low key?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I'm thinking she got off work, went to a bar
because she's kind of sad, or went I don't know
wherever her third places and then just started.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Like ooh yeah, but what's her third place?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah? Third place? Yeah? What's his name? Third place? Oh?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Man? That's when I called her and she still would
an answer. Then I panicked and started explaining everything to
her by text. I took pictures of all the things
I had done around the house, the gifts, flowers, the decorations,
the dinner. Everything. I wanted to surprise her. That's all
I wanted.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Mmm.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I tried calling her, but Novelle. She read my messages
and after not getting a reply, I just broke down
and started crying.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Oh, bakeang should cry right?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I mean, how big a hole do you think he was?
In before all of this. For this to be at
this level, it sounds like.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
It would have to be like not really communicating, yeah,
or what are some other commons?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
At the beginning, she was asking for surprise, she wanted
more spontaneous, or she wanted attention.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Ooh, I think attention because I think they have said
like I love surprises early on in the relationship and
without really connecting the dats.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Right, she wanted attention. The problem with dudes is you
think you think whatever you're thinking in your head is
happening in the real world.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Which head are you thinking with?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah? Good point. Yeah, how old is he?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
We got a number. I'm thinking like mid thirties, maybe
early forties. Yeah, yeah, you'd think the brain would have developed.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, right, exactly, Yeah, he should have the all heads
should be aligned at this point.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Don't have ages, no ages, no ages, unfortunately, no age.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I'm just assuming.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I'm assuming I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, he sounds younger though, but he's right as a.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Young man at heart. After what felt like the longest
way of my life, my wife comes home. She starts
crying and saying she's sorry. Ah, I told her it
was my fault. They both just started crying and holding
each other. Ah, I was not expecting this. Did you
see this coming?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I didn't see a happy ending coming. Is there more
to it? Yeah, there's there's a lot more, so it
could definitely fall apart.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
We're like maybe halfway through.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I don't like the crying, both of them crying. I
have a feeling she's crying for a different reason though.
I'm suspicious.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Oh yeah, the because of the things she mentioned before.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah, and the third stop. I know we're I know
we're just I know we made that part up, but
I'm sticking to it. I feel like I don't know why,
but I'm sensing there's some there's some guilt in those
in her cry.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah, I do too. We spent the night crying and
cuddling and eating the dinner I made. She told me
it was the best thing she had ever eaten. Obviously,
al I.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I wish I knew what it was. Oh, he doesn't say.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
It probably is pasta.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Spaghetti, dude, just the dumb dude idea of fancy ya pasta.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Don't tell my friend that, because every time he sees me,
he'll make me spaghetti. I'm like, oh, this is so
good man, thanks with saucer. Oh yeah, yeah, he's not,
he's not.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
He's not crazy, Jarred sauce.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And how long you tube been together?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
About two years? I mean it was mediocre at best
and already cold. It wasn't the surprise I had hoped
to give her. I'm just glad to still be married
to her. And yes, we're working to fix our relationship.
I love this woman with all my heart. I had
her permission to share this. We got a little edit
how we feel in did he get out of the doghouse?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
It sounds like they obviously love each other. Yes, I'm
going to take back that she was crying guilty tears,
not completely though. I don't think she was doing something
horrible or director friend over there assumed that she was
really banging in the third place.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Hey over here, it's it's some crazy stuff, right.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
But I do think that she was probably texting, like
talking to somebody else, like my you know what I mean,
Like he's the worst. I don't like him.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
A little bit of emotional cheating.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Perhaps, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, right, emotional cheating like just
kind of which, you know, we don't know how long
they've been together. We don't know if it's warranted. We
don't know how.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
We also don't know her profession. What do you mean, Oh,
certain professions are more likely to cheat according to the.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Internet, right, there's like you're a certain kind of a
dancer a dance. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Well, no, like there's a satistic out there that nurses
are most likely to cheat on their partners. Nurses out
of all the professions.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Really because they're so caring they can't they just can't
stop loving that.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Or I'm thinking, like, imagine working twelve hours and it's
like the worst twelve hours and you got your friend
wraped beside of you. Yeah, and over time you just
kind of create a bond, right yeah, Like yeah, and
then flight attendants I think are pilots are the second thing?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Yeah, I see that. That's in a lot of movies
and stuff. Yeah, because everyone's on the move, everyone's and
also you're in the sky and you're almost you feel
like you're almost dead, like you're about to die, like
we're all doing. Everybody's acting all cool on the plane,
but everybody is legit like, oh no, this might be it, right,
(10:49):
but they're quietly just eating snacks and really do you
feel that way. Yeah, what don't you.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I'm kind of comfortable on planes.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I mean, I'm comfortable, but I'm highly aware that we
could at any second.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
What about whenever you're in a car?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Nah, but I feel any plane crash, car crash. Which
one you're surviving?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah, more likely a car crash.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I think there's a lot of there's a lot of
leeway in the car crash.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
But you're also more likely to get in one.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yes, the odds are greater. But if you are in one,
how many people have you met that were like, yeah,
I was just in a plane crash last week. Not many,
not many, but a lot of people like I got
an uber and I crashed my car last week.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Well, we have a little bit left of this story.
We're about halfway here. There's still an a fair partner
that could come up.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
So we don't know her job.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
We don't know her job.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
So but they seem solid. I feel like they're a
young couple because they're taking big swings and doing things
they think they're supposed to do.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
They also didn't mention kids, right, I think younger yep, yeah,
or smart? Okay, So edit for all of the concerned people, Yes,
we're getting help and fixing things. Like I have stated before,
I appreciate the concern, but with all due respect, I'm
going to take relationship advice from professionals and not from it.
Come on, man, we have great relationship advice.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Are they saying that we're the professionals or where the reddit?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Where the reddit? I know?
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Can't we be both?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
We've lived, we have, you have your pasta friend, yeah,
and you guys, I've been married for twenty five years.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Boom, we can conquer the world, right there? Come on now,
we're basically therapists.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And we love Whitney.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yes, it's weird to have people arguing about my relationship
when frankly, no one knows us or the situation we're in.
I just wanted to share this story on here with
my wife since we've already talked this issue through. Still,
reading your personal experiences and what you have gone through
is helpful, so please it is. Do share if you
feel like doing so. And the people messaging me calling
(12:42):
my wife horrible things? What I sincerely want to say
to you?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
F off Yeah, I like, yeah, it's so funny. He's
got to anticipate that people are gonna say horrible things.
I find both of them adorable.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
My one thing, are we in the suggesting thing?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yah, the better the better she's she She started off
asking for attention and surprises and all the rest of it, right,
and then he trying to make it up, make up
for it because he cares about her. He took a
big swing and makes with a beginning of a really
dumb plan.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yeah, not very calculated swing.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah, just like I'm gonna let her just go off
for eight hours thinking that I forgot that I don't
love her, right, and I slept in I didn't even
get out of bed. I just stayed in bed and
didn't even like yell it from the bed. I mean
that was dumb. But the problem is he set himself
up because just do small things, little surprises along the way,
(13:39):
then you don't have to go really all out and
come and like really swing for the fences.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
What's ah, It's called the Kaisen thing, right?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Is that? Is that? What it is that was the
bad guy in Dunkirk?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
No? No, no, no no, It's this like uh like
Japanese like wisdom thing that you always want to be
one percent better every day. Ooh, like you said, the
small things, right, if you're just doing you don't have
to do the big.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
That's right, exactly. Just leave a little note on the counter,
pick up the stuff she left on the floor in
the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
What was the last small thing you did for your wife?
Speaker 4 (14:13):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I made her toast off of the bread that I baked,
all right, And normally I baked the bread all the time,
and I leave it out in this fresh baked bread,
So it can't really say that that's like a move anymore. Yeah,
but going the extra step of cutting it, toasting it,
buttering it up, giving her a leaving on the counter,
that's a small thing. It's not a huge thing. I
don't even need a thank you. Yeah, I don't even
(14:34):
need to thank you. That's how special I am. Boom,
but it counts.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Okay, we got a second update here. I'm getting so
many comments about this, I've decided to address it here.
Like some have said, I wasn't really thinking about her
when I did what I was doing. I made the
whole surprise essentially about myself, even though I didn't mean to.
It was never my intention to make her feel bad,
even though I now realized that, of course she would
(14:58):
feel horrible for the whole day after I pretended not
to remember her birthday.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Is this the same guy?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Same guy? Ah, so people are calling him out. You
made this all about yourself, not about her.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Oh, people are calling him out in real time. Yeah, yeah, no,
that's it. And it was too big of a it
was too big of a leap. He had all these
little things, he was doing all the right stuff. He's
just not that practiced at it. He's obviously a guy
who doesn't really. Don't you get in relationships sometimes and
you're like, we're together, how much more do you need?
Like we're on lock, I'm not with anybody else, Like
(15:30):
we're Isn't this enough? Don't you realize I love you?
But it does. It doesn't really work that way. You
got to tend to it like a little bonzeye plant exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
My parents freaked out just because I wanted to bake
cookies with my boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Boyfriend's a problem. I can tell.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I love my mom a lot, and I do want
to help her. I just feel like it is necessary
for me to fully understand why she is the way
she is with my boyfriend, and I here is my story.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Dun't dum dum dum dum dumb.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
By the way, this comes some Princess cow sixty nine
And if you want to spit your own stories, go
to the r slash okay story time subreddit. We're here
to give good advice goofully, but we don't have all
the answers. We only know what we do know, So
let us know what you would do in the comments
down below. Op says, I am an eighteen year old
female and going to college this August. Today, I was
hoping to bake chocolate chip cookies with my boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
My boyfriend and I are in a healthy and stable
two year relationship.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Healthy and stable, healthy and stable two year relationship. Okay,
So living with mom, so the kids.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, almost going to college.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Despite this, my parents believe I will have many more
boyfriends in the future.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Oh, he's okay, but you should get out there and
meet people.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
He doesn't have a car. Maybe you should find one
with a car.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
He's not that bright.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
As a result, they view my boyfriend as a disposable
human being. Out what Y take out the trash and
he can go to.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
We need more intel. We're not sure whose side we're on.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
As you can imagine, the past two years have been
an emotional roller coaster because my parents don't approve of
me having a boyfriend, even though he treats me and
my parents with a lot of respect. So today, around
three o'clock, I texted my mom while she was at
our pool club with my dad and younger brother. Okay,
they had already been there for some time before I
(17:26):
texted her. I asked her for my permission to have
my boyfriend over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me,
because unfortunately I don't have a lot of cooking experience,
and my boyfriend has a decent background in cooking and
is willing to help me learn how to make basic recipes. Okay,
sounds pretty innocent when you're saying I. After I texted
(17:47):
my mom about her wholesome plans to bake cookies, she
told me to have them over at six o'clock.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It's three o'clock right now, Okay.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I was okay with this, so I went back to
doing my thing. Then a few minutes later, I got
another text my mom that said, you really pack a
lot of things in a day, don't you.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
You're putting a lot of emphasis on that. I can
I can hear, and I feel like you're right.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
This really annoyed me, so I responded, I'm just trying
to have fun before I leave for college in three weeks.
A few more minutes went by, and she said, you're
not ready to leave?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Oh over text? Oh this is over Texas and she
doesn't come home yet.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Okay, okay, Now this is when I got really pissed,
and I sent my boyfriend's screenshots of her text.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Oh geez. He found it.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Very disrespectful of her to say that, because I'm not
to toot my own horn. But I've proven time and
time again to my parents that I am a mature
young woman.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I believe her.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I mean, i'd like to see like a GPA, maybe
what college she went to. I don't know. You have
doubts some things to back her up. I mean, like
she's on Reddit talking about this.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah good point, Yeah, good point.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
But everyone has their troubles.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
This is just they just don't like this guy to
begin with. So when you're like, I'm gonna big cookies
like my house fire mess, they even clean up after them,
So probably not. And they think that they do they
think they're responsible and that they're clean, but they're really gross.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Yeah, I mean, like you're you're a parent, right I am.
If you wanted to have this conversation with your kid, Yeah,
how would you bring it.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Up as we're going on this journey. Yeah, I'm trying
to get clues of what this guy is about and
why they think that he's not good for her and
maybe slowing her down for maturing and stuff like, Because
if I got the call, like me and Doug are
gonna make cookies, make sure you clean up, Like, I
wouldn't be sweating it.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Yeah, you would be like, why are you packing so
much in your day?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
So I'm not right exactly. So I'm not sure if
the mom's sweating it because the kid's a mess, or
if the mom's sweating it because she's drunk at the
pool club. M I need more info.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
So she says, I never get into any trouble. I
have never had more than a few SIPs of booze.
I have never even laid eyes on substances, get good grades.
It was a good kid going to a prestigious college,
and I'm willing to work hard in college to ensure
that I have a successful future. Why the heck would
my mother say that to me when I've proven time
(20:11):
and time again that I strive to be a good daughter.
Why wouldn't I be ready for college when I have
already displayed the traits of someone ready to face the
real world. I feel like, if they are going to
continually negatively reinforce my good behavior, why should I even bother? Okay,
and we have more context here, do we. Well, she
got into a prestigious college. Yeah she I mean, she
(20:34):
doesn't seem like she parties a lot, she keeps her
nose clean.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
True, but something Yeah, all right, So what do you
think you think it's the mom is the problem? I mean,
why is the mom so uptight when she hears we're
making cookies?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Helicopter parent?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah? Maybe if she's if it's.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Very like emphasis on this kid to have like a
good future.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
M m.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
It's like, oh, I don't like like this boyfriend vibe.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
I don't know, this was tough. I feel like this
is like she she's telling the story and it's like, oh, yeah,
this all makes perfect sense. It's a good, clean kid
and going and it's got this perfect boyfriend, and the
mom's gonna be like, oh no, wait a minute, Yeah,
do you know what happened last time they were in
my kitchen alone, they were making this, and we came
home and found them on the counter.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
You know what I mean, there's like chicken everywhere on
the calendar.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, they're on the counter.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
It's just like, yeah, huge mess.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, we don't know. I feel like there's something that
we don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
And she's playing innocent and just being like, sounds like.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
A great kid, sounds great. I'm just suspicious of what
this mom would say.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Yeah, And sometimes with these stories, all we get is
like one person's perspective and not the other.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yeah, of course, and there's not so we have to
be like investigators. We need clues, yes, and so far
I don't have a lot of clues. I'm starting to
think maybe the mom's just a cook coock ke getting
that not all moms are great.
Speaker 4 (21:52):
But some of our commentars are saying the term making
cookies could be an innuendo.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Wait a minute, she said, he's she said, well, I'm
gonna make cookies. The mom responded, wait till six. That's weird.
That is weird because when you just said that, like,
there's another they're up to something else. When they're saying
the cookies.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
They're making something.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
If I felt if I was suspicious, I would say
I'll be home at six, okay, and then show up
at four. Oh my god, you know, why is the mom?
If the mom doesn't like this situation, and she's like,
wait till.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
I don't know, I'm not buying the end of window.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I think the mom's up to no good at that
pool club.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But her husband's there, and her kid.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Is the husband there, he might be at work.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Well, they said he was there, so sometime I went
by and it was already past six. My family had
to come home. Yet it's a rule in our house
that my boyfriend is not allowed to come into our
house unless one of my parents are home. I figured
that my plans to bake cookies weren't going to happen.
This made me really pissed off because my mom gave
me the okay. He said my boyfriend over at six, though, yeah,
(23:02):
and I was home alone, but it's after six, he's
not here. I was keeping my boyfriend updated on the situation,
and he was also getting annoyed with my parents. It
was around six thirty when they finally came home. My
boyfriend and I canceled our friends to make cookies because
we could tell that they did not want him there
if they were going to come home. After we agreed
(23:23):
on a time, my parents could sense that I was
getting emotional. They asked me what was wrong, So I
told them that I was upset over the fact that
they came home after six. They said it would have
been fine to have him over before they got home,
But why didn't they just say so? I'm so sick
of assuming what is right to do. There is such
a lack of communication and it is important for them
(23:45):
to recognize that. We got into another heated argument that
gave me another massive headache. They said something along the
lines of, well, you haven't eaten much today, so we
didn't think it was a good idea to have him over.
What a way to deflect what you haven't eaten much today?
So we didn't think it was a good idea to
have him over? Uh huh, what does that even mean?
(24:05):
He's the one that cooks.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
I'm going to make an assumption. Okay, she's a bit
of a drama queen.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Oh ope, like the writers?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, oh I believe Yeah, I think there's a lot
going like making big deals out of things that is.
A parent's just like did you eat lunch? Oh my god,
we were gonna make cookies? Why you hate my boyfriend?
They just I just asked if you had lunch? You
know what I mean. It feels like one of those.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
It's like how is school today? And they just like,
why are you asking thing?
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Right? Exactly?
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Well, God, I'm also seeing it from like an eighteen
year old perspective. I'm leaving a college of three weeks.
My boyfriend and I are going to the same college.
We're probably gonna have to do long distance. I want
to spend as much time as I can with them.
The only way I can do that if my parents
are home and they're not home, and I can't really
spend time with them unless they're home.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
You know, why aren't they going to the boyfriend's house?
Because his family's no good and they and he's a
bum mm and the parents don't like it. Probably we
don't know why, but why aren't they going on his house?
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Then it's kind of like giving me a little bit
of a like the parents are Christian in a way,
because like they're like, we don't want anything to happen
while you're at the house alone, so we're gonna make
sure one of us are here.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, but then she said you could have had him
over before we got home.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
That part's weird.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
There's a lot of weirdness in this. That's why I
think she's a drama queen. She's kind of popping off
things that are supposed to be a big deal but
they're not. Yeah, I'm just assuming, but it sounds like
she's kind of making a big deal out of small things.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
We got. We got some people here agreeing with you.
Christina says, yeah, she sounds like she's immature.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
I become accustomed to their deflection, and it literally makes
me want to drink wet cement.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Drama he called it. I did not even see it
in drama.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
They also said, remember you always have one mother and
one father and many other boyfriends in the future. This
just proves my point that they see my boyfriend as disposable. Anyway,
After another half hour of deflection and more incoherent points
made by my mother and father, I decided to end
the argument before I lost more brain cells and went
(26:10):
to my room to relax. Well after I spent a
few minutes in my room watching YouTube videos of Okay
story time without knocking. My father came into my room
and said, Hi, are you okay? I just wanted to
say that you should remember that we love you very much.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Have you pulled that move before?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, because you know they're spiraling. Their emotions are out
of control. They can't even control them themselves. They're just
screaming and slamming doors. You can't solve it. They just
have to grow out of it and grow up and
all that other stuff. And all you can do, and
kudos to the dad, is let them know that they
(26:50):
love them. We're not pushing you away. We're here for you.
I love you. And they don't try and solve it,
don't because they're off on another planet. And my daughters
have told me, you know, after having gone through that, Yeah, like, oh,
I didn't even know who I was at that moment. Wow,
you know what I mean? Like, yeah, there's so much
help going on and it's just hormones and emotions and
(27:13):
all the things.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yeah, When she says, I just went to my room
to watch videos, No storm down the.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Hall, slam the door?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Do you hate me? Slam the door.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
I mean, we've all been moody teenagers. It's a process
of life. And then you look back into your Wow,
I was such an ass.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yeah, no shade on the girl either, because she is
feeling it. She is going through it.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I appreciate my dad trying to make me feel better,
but I don't like how he was trying to condition
me to justify all their actions just because they say
we love you.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
He's not thinking that much.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
When a little while later, my mom actually had the
decency to knock on my door, she asked if she
could come in, so I said no, thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Oh. Mom always gets it the worst.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Because I wasn't in the mood to talk to her yet.
She asked me if I wanted anything to eat, and
I told her that I lost my appetite. Somewhat left
things on a good terms, but I still feel like crap.
I'm just so sick of being treated like a five
year old when in reality I'm a legal adult who
has demonstrated maturity. I don't think what my parents said
(28:21):
and did in the situation was justified. The way they
have treated my respect and my kind boyfriend for the
past two years is not justified. I'm just really looking
forward to leaving for college in three weeks. I love
my mom and dad very much. I appreciate everything they
have done for me in the past eighteen years. But
I think some space between us is what we need
(28:43):
to reduce that overbearing parenting.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
She solved it herself. Look at that. She's smart. Yeah,
she said exactly what you said.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
She's mature.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
She's mature. Let me ask you a question. You're smart, Yeah,
you're emotionally aware. Some you've lived a life. How long
does her and the boyfriend last?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
I was also in that situation.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Okay, this is horrible of me to say say it
two months.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, but they've been together for two years, so it
might be a little. I would say six months because
they've been together for two years. Okay, But I was
kind of with a girl over the summer, and then
I met another girl and I was like, hey, we
got to be friends. And then I was with that
girl for three years?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Right, for three years?
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Yeah, Like, oh wow, I'm monkey branched. What do you think?
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yeah, I think you're right. I think what happens a
lot is uh, you say you're you're still in it.
You talk a lot when you first get there talking
all the time, then not quite as often, get your
routine and your routine, then maybe something happens a little
bit with somebody or something.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
And then you're walking down the hall and you accidentally
bump into someone. Your books fall.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yep, that old move. And then the real test is Thanksgiving. Oh,
when you come home for the first time and it's
just a little weird.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Yeah, someone said, five days post move, they're not going
to like Arizona University or Miami.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
University five days, right.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Yeah, who knows many college changes people. So she has
a little disclaimer before we end this story.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Okay, we're still in her Okay, I.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Am not hating on my mother's lifestyle, nor anyone else
who lives by a similar lifestyle. Blame by the pool
and everything like that.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Yeah, she's okay, she is dissing it a little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
But I feel like it is necessary to mention her
past to better understand.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Uh uh she acts this way. Oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Dude, how did you get this right? When my mom
was younger than me, she had really begun drinking large
amounts of booze, going to parties, smoking Devil's lettuce, and
getting with a lot of guys.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
You called that feel like I went to high school
with her.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Probably she had had her heart broken several times by
men because they cheated or broke up with her. This
is my mother projecting her past experiences onto me. Is
it even rational to think that my mom is jealous
of me because I found an amazing and faithful guy
early on. If I could get any feedback on my situation,
he would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading this far.
(31:11):
I feel like you got a lot of life to
live to. I think that's what her mom was trying
to say.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah, I mean the writer of this she is smart. Yeah,
she's correct. If her mom went through that, she probably
is projecting a little bit. I don't think she's jealous
of her, but she's definitely you know, you carry that
stuff and it's like, however, my kids did not grow
up the way I did, but I would treat them like,
oh no, this is what's going to happen.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
You know.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, but you are projecting it a little bit. I
think she's right in a stage where she's making more
out of it than you know. Yeah, it's all like
this big, heavy evaluation and she's treating me this way
and doesn't respect to respect respect. Eh, just go to school, exactly,
Just go to school.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Live some line.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah, she loves you. You know her hang ups, her
past and all of her flaws. You're gonna study them
your whole life, and there's gonna be new ones that
you're gonna come up with at different stages. And you're
not wrong. She's not wrong. But we're all messy human beings.
And you just got to kind of ride it out.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Yeah, that's life.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
That's life, and just keep loving each other despite them
being whack.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
I didn't get it too bad. It was it was
not bad. Did you you went to college rider?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (32:21):
How was that like leaving for college you go kind
of through this?
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Uh No, No, not really bad. No were they like
we didn't really fight, Like I fought more with my
parents when I was like younger, like going into high school.
It was just kind of growing not We didn't really.
It wasn't that kind of a household.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, No, they were cool. I mean, you know their parents,
so they're annoying. Yeah, you do go through stages where
you let you're lashing it out because you know you're
they're your only example of the adult world. Yeah, you know,
but this the uh, she's gonna do great. Go to
school and enjoy yourself, break up with your boyfriend, to
break up with you disposable too, is disposal and she
(33:05):
kind of knows it too. But she's in love. She's
got the whole world's changing. That's the one guy that's
that's constant, that.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
Is true, amazing and fair.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Any sweet you like him?
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Yeah, save it's the mother's no best kind of thing.
Usually Usually mothers know best, and they know they know
their children, you know, better than ourselves sometimes.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yeah, nothing makes you more angry when they're right.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
Yeah, you're like, damn it, how she know?
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Yeah, I got another one for you here. Oh yeah,
this one was right up your alley. Okay you ready?
Hmmm yes, yes, John Here og host.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick
three minute break from house from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
My sister replaced my entire resume with the words garlic bread.
Huh yes, read it. I'm eighteen female, know how hilarious
this may sound, And I promise you this is not
a joke, as I am genuinely freaking out right now.
I am soon finishing up secondary school, high school and
looking for my very first job for the summer. So
(34:01):
when I was feeling out my resume, I didn't have
a lot of experience to mention, so I decided to
do hobbies and passion selection taking advice from others. By
the way, this comes from deleted and if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the arm slash
okay story Tom subreddit. We are here to give good advice.
Goefully we have the professional mister Tom Pappa here to
help us with that. But we don't know all the
(34:23):
things that are out there. And if you know something,
do you like the comment, please do so down below.
And Op says, I stupidly left my laptop out in
the kitchen today while I went to the shop to
get some tea, and my mischievous of a sister fifteen
female thought it would be the joke of the century
to delete my hobbies in passion section and replace everything
(34:46):
with a single bullet point saying garlic Brett.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
I love this kid.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
I had closed the word document saving it before leaving.
She opened it, changed it without telling me, and saved
it and closed it before I came back. Yes, she
knows bloody well that I'm looking for jobs at the moment,
and she knew I'd spent the afternoon working on my resume.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
If it didn't mess with the formatting, I'm all for it,
you know what I mean. If it sends up to
another page or made it yanky. Yeah, don't you think
if you're the employer, if I'd be like, yeah, and.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
I'm looking for like I'm going through resumes all day,
one after the other.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Garlic bread, garlic bread. You're seeing like hiking, tennis, surf hiking, surfing,
reading garlic bread. Okay, I'm sold. Yeah, I'm in.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
You're hired.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah, you don't even have to come in for the interview.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
Yeah, this actually might increase her chances.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
I came home with the tea anyway, And since I
was happy with my resume, I didn't bother to recheck it,
and I had no idea someone would change it to
garlic bread. While I was gone. I sent it to
multiple job applications from an online hiring site which had
places hiring in my town. I'd say I sent this
(36:03):
garlic bread resume to about twenty to thirty institutions in total.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
I want results. I want to hear the results.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
It was only after I sent that I decided to
reach out my resume when I notice the horrible altercation
or blessing, I am absolutely mortified. I immediately confronted my
sister about it, getting a strong sense sence that she
was the most likely culprit. And she thought it was
(36:32):
effing hilarious.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Me too.
Speaker 4 (36:35):
It is pretty funny.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
It's a great joke.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
She literally laughed until she cried while I was standing
there nearly crying from stress and mortification. My sister has
always been a joker, and she gets away with bloody unliving.
But this was so serious.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
I am sick of her pulling off this site to
everyone around her thinking it's funny or on cool or something.
It was only when I explained to her her the
full seriousness of the situation and that I had sent
it to twenty to thirty places that she understood and apologized.
See the easy solution here is just remake the job
(37:14):
application and submit it in your sister's name.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
It's in the special Skills hobbies little section.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
She has no job experience, Yeah, you know, I think
that's all she had was just her hobbies and like passions.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Well, then she's got a real problem. Even if you
don't have no, you make it up. Yeah, you're like, yeah,
you're like, you know, if you would know when you're
trying to get a job of the off the farm
there and in the South, and you're like, you know,
I worked in a farm, I did farm management, sawmill. Yeah,
I did all this kind of stuff, and yeah, you
pad it and everybody knows what you're trying to do.
(37:48):
You're trying to but it was an experience. If you
got a resume with just special.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Skills, that is true.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah, you feel like he didn't work at all.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
You didn't not a paper route or volunteering. Yeah, he
didn't work in a mall sweep something before. Yeah, odd jog,
I'm tables cutting lines.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
One word, so just two words on the whole resume.
Garlic bread, garlic bread.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
I don't know if I see that in the resume,
I'm like this guy, this guy's funny, but also he
can do garlic bread.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
I'm soul Yeah, no kidding woof.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Not sure if she was being genuine, but the words
i'm sorry definitely left her mouth.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
Then she had the audacity to blame me for it,
asking me why I hadn't checked it before sending it off.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
Mm mmm.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
I screamed at her that I had checked in multiple
times before going to go get the tea and didn't
expect anyone else to change it while I was gone.
She then backpedaled and insisted that she meant it as
a joke, like it's just a prank bra mentality. But
I'm having none of it. I don't know what the
heck to do now and how to rectify the situation.
(38:57):
I've never had job hunted before, and we don't know
how serious this stupid mistake is. I live in a
large enough Irish town, but small enough for businesses to
spread gossip. I'm so terrified that they'll all now know
not to hire the garlic bread girl. Should I email
the places I applied to to explaining the situation, or
(39:19):
will I sound like a complete knob?
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Did she get any results? Did anyone like contact her
and say we don't know we'd talked to you because
of the garlic bread or she didn't give us results?
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Can you see if there's a up thing?
Speaker 4 (39:29):
I'm gonn check if there's an updates.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
See if there's an update. Wanta go pee by this bush.
It's she's I like this younger sister though this funny
she is.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
She's a good humor.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
I don't have an update, so go ahead finish the story.
But I have some comments from op from the post. Oh,
it's actually pretty funny and pretty lighthearted, so.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
We kind of do have an update a little bit,
a little bit. Yeah, so to finish the story. Technically,
it is true that garlic bread is a passion of
mine simply because it's delicious. Yeah, but obviously it's not
worth it in your resume. The businesses probably think I'm
taking the piss and it's extremely unprofessional. I'm so annoyed
(40:08):
that this is my first impression in the working world
and I'm not even hired and I've already left up.
Should I resend them my application with my resume fixed?
Should I move on and try to forget about the
places I applied and apply to new businesses with the
rectified resume. Should I just effing move town at this point,
(40:28):
since I've clearly made a fool of myself already. Also,
do I talk to my parents or sister about her stupid, spoiled,
bratty behavior.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
I didn't know that she was really good at making
garlic bread. Yeah, leave it on it?
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Did say making?
Speaker 1 (40:43):
I think maybe didn't it say? Oh didn't didn't she
say something like that that she made it.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
And a bread of garlic bread is a passion of mine.
It's making or eating.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
But ye, probably both makes it and eats it.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
Oh I did. I thought she was just she said
either way.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
It's a passion of her. Leave it on the resid
good conversation starter. H And then you can go off
like brand in the interview.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Well, yeah, Tom's Tom's actually one hundred percent correct. A
lot of so I looked at the post. A lot
of the comments are from managers or people who hire
no way, and they're like this is you know, from
like getting all the bland resumes. Yeah, this one stands
out and yet, Yeah, that's really funny. It's gonna make
me laugh. Usually someone will laugh stuff and it would
(41:27):
make me want to have you come in for an interview.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
Yeah, there's like five people that're like, no, this is hilarious,
Like this would stand out. I think it's hilarious. I
would call you in for an interview because it's different.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Even if you're not a person that has a real
good sense of humor. You'd be like, this is a
forward thinker. They put something, they did something no one
else did. Let's see what this person's about.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Yeah right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
Yeah, it seems like a sense of humor, sense of personality,
just like Jellbi says.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
No, A lot, a lot of a lot of the
people replying are like, don't even apologize. Ride the wave. Yeah,
use it to your power. I mean, yes, talk to
your parents about this, make sure it never happens again.
But use this, I guess as a blessing in disguise
as a you know, it will make you stand out.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Yes, exactly. Pretend you're angry with your sister so she
doesn't sabotage you in other ways that aren't as funny.
But yeah, but you'll get a great job and be
hired by good people who will probably let you pee outside.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Probably so, and there might be like a new Italian
restaurant coming around the corner. True, they're looking for people
that know about garlic bread.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Yeah, no kidding. I mean a lot of times entry
level jobs, you're responsible for getting everyone's lunch orders.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
That is true. You know, I did not think it'd
work out that well. I was really thinking, Yeah, you
might need to like look for other places of other regions.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
As an Italian American and a bread baker, I think
this is possibly the greatest resume have ever heard of.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Wow. Yeah, well we got one more segment for you. Okay,
if you still got time, I got time. Okay.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
My name is Tom Papa and I am a stand
up comedian and a writer and a radio host and
a podcast host. I have the Breaking Bread podcast on
all the places you get podcasts, and I'm just here.
Today's TUIs spend some nonsense time with my friends.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
It's honestly been so great. You've been great.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
Everyone's loving it. I know you're on tour. You want
to go ahead and let everyone know about your tour?
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Yeah, if you go to tompapa dot com, that'll lead
you to all the stuff that I got going on,
and predominantly I'm on tour right now, going all across
the country. It's called the Grateful Bread Tour, and I'm
performing in Boston, in New Jersey, and Philadelphia, Florida, Phoenix,
a whole bunch of places all through twenty twenty six,
(43:41):
all leading up to my next Netflix special, which i'll
be doing this time next year, amazing.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
We have a new segment called Red Flag, Green Flag.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Hey, it's am We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three of it's bads from our sponsors that
keep the show alive.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Red flag, Green flag.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
Yes, And I'm gonna ask you some questions, and you're
gonna tell me if this is a red flag or
a green flag.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Red I'm thinking was would be a negative response, and
green I'm thinking positive response.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
You're right on it, right there, Okay, Red flag, green flag.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
They say they don't eat bread.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Red flag. Anybody that says they don't eat bread, I
have to question why you are here?
Speaker 4 (44:22):
What about gluten? What about gluten free?
Speaker 3 (44:24):
What about now they're gluten free?
Speaker 1 (44:26):
If you have celia, if you have celiac, yes, if
you have gluten intolerance. I think you should do a
little more research because what why have we been eating
bread for centuries and now we show up and you
can't eat bread? No. It's the thing is, it's not
real bread. Bread, my friends, is flower water, salt, and yeast.
(44:48):
That's all that goes into bread.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
Not the natural flavors.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Look at all. Yeah, look at your bread labels in
the supermarket, thirty five ingredients, stuff you can't pronounce, sugars,
all this other stuff. That combination of stuff makes you sick.
Not the bread noted. Enjoy your life.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Red flag, green flag. They complain about kids these days
while not knowing how to use air drop.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I think I'm answering the right way. If you don't
understand the way the world works anymore because you're getting older,
it's a green flag. Don't blame other people? Am I
answering this correctly?
Speaker 3 (45:22):
They complain about kids these days while not knowing how
to use air drops?
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Okay, then red flag right again. I'm against those people
that are com y. Yeah, yeah, you know, as someone
who loses ground a lot, and you know, can where
is the where's the button? Where's the thing? Hot? Do
you swipe it? You know? I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
What is six to seven?
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Don't it's you? It's yeah, six seven exactly? No you Tom, No,
I love six seven. What's weird is that I find
myself alone screaming it in places when I don't because
I don't. I don't roll with my boys anymore by myself.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
And when I hear six am and and start screaming
that no one knows what's up.
Speaker 4 (46:01):
He's one of us.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
Red flag green flows. Okay, they claim to live in
the moment, but panic when the Wi fi drops for
five minutes.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
I'm gonna give green flag to those people that complain
when the Wi fi goes for five minutes, because we're
all victims. We're all slaves to it. M if it
goes down, now, we're all just we're all crippled by it.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
That's a good point. You know how many Wi Fi
services we have here?
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (46:24):
Three?
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Really?
Speaker 3 (46:25):
Three different fiber fiber fiber again, yeah, and then also
satellite just in case throws back around.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Wow. Yeah, yeah. I mean it's so important. The whole
world runs on it.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
It does.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I want to act like a bigger person, like we
don't need it. You need it. We're connected to it.
If it goes down, you bet, I'm complaining.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
Yeah, we wouldn't be here if it went on.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
The good thing about being here is that you're savvy.
You've got everyone here is tech savvy. When you're just
in a house and you're the dad, for some reason,
you're supposed to be the it guy, we look up
and I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
You fixed the same. First, you can fix the Wi Fi.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Red Flag, Green Flag They say they were too busy
for dinner, but binge watch a whole Netflix season that night.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
Yeah, I'm gonna give that red flag really yeah, I mean,
because what they're saying is I just don't want to
be with other people right now, right yeah, they can
still like this is like friends a friend and they're like,
I don't have time for dinner, and then they say,
I watched all of Friends, the whole thing's comedy. Tell yeah,
you know what we are at this inflection point. People
(47:36):
are important. The pandemic sent us into this weird cave.
We have to get back with each other. No one
goes to happy hour anymore. Like we need each other.
Speaker 3 (47:45):
There's no third place.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
There's no third place. Exactly, there's no third place and
we need it. So now I'm not cool with that.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Not cool. I don't like the lying part. But I'm
taking a day to yourself to kind of like, you know,
get it like Rod a little bit.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
Yeah, you want to you want to just be alone,
do your thing, but be honest about.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
It, exactly.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
Red Flag, Green Flag they call themselves dog parents, but
don't pick up after their dog.
Speaker 1 (48:13):
Major red flag. Yeah, and you know this even when
you don't eat beans. Yeah, we have two dogs. Yeah,
it's really my wife and my kids have two dogs.
I don't, but I find myself having to walk them
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Oh, don't come on, you love feeding them.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
I don't take care of them. I don't. I really
wish I was a better person, but every time I'm
walking them like it could be doing something else.
Speaker 3 (48:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Yeah, I don't want to make myself if sound worse,
But pick up after your dog and pick it up
and bring it all the way back to your house
and dispose of it. You don't go dropping it in
other people's recycle bins and whatever along the way. You
gotta carry it home. It's your responsibility.
Speaker 3 (48:53):
Okay, that is so foreign to me, because really I
am not used to picking up after my.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
Dog because you lived in the country, so you just
let them.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
Go, yeah, right, and then picking up after them, and
then also you have to put it in your own
trash Candlem.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Yeah, this is the city suburban living. You gotta it's
your job, and there are people that aren't cool with it.
I just I don't fight it as much as I
do when I was younger, you know, when we first
had a place and people would put it in and
be like, oh dude, what kind of person does this?
The reality is it's most dog people do that. They're
not the best. There's a lot of dog crap around
(49:26):
my neighborhood right now that people didn't even bag up.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
Pully go. Yeah, red flag, green flag. They think staying
in on a Friday is sad.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Red flag. I mean, like I said, you want to
be with people. We do need to be with people,
but sometimes, like you said, you just want to be alone.
What's wrong with a Friday with your most favorite person? You?
Speaker 3 (49:46):
Yeah, I last Friday seven thirty out.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Good for you. Yeah, once in a while, you need
to do that.
Speaker 3 (49:53):
What do you do on Friday nights?
Speaker 1 (49:54):
I'm performing somewhere.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
How was it the weekends? Do you ever like wish?
Speaker 1 (49:58):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (49:58):
I wish I didn't have anywhere to be on the weekend.
Well you're kind of prom Tom though, You're like, yeah,
you're the then I am the weekend.
Speaker 4 (50:04):
Oh wow, you're the artist the weekend.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
That's right. I love thevend Did you like me in
the Super Bowl? Yeah? Great, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
I could have done without the mirrored part, but no.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
It was it wasn't my idea. I get what you're saying, all.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
Right, last one. Okay, red flag, green flag. They clap
when the plane lands.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
You look, I'm giving a green because you do it.
I'm giving a greed. You do it, given a green.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
Yay, we're alive.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
We're alive, We're back on the ground.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
It's not like, yeah, I like it.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
It's a little cringey for sure. You know what I'm
all for. Let's celebrate some moments. Let's do it. I'm
completely broken through the other side. I he embraces Yeah,
I embrace it. And I know it's a dad thing.
It's an it's an age thing. But it's also seeing
clearly thing. Okay. Talk of people on elevators. Yes, applaud
(51:02):
when the plane lands. Give someone a high five. This
is a complete stranger. Just because you're in the produce aisle.
They picked out a nice cantalope. You know, job man celebrated.
Enjoy it, enjoy your life. Yeah, I don't. Goofy's good.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
Goofy's good.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, I love that. Thank you, thank you. This was
really a blast.
Speaker 3 (51:20):
Yeah, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I had a
big good time over here.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
All right, good and I'm glad.
Speaker 3 (51:26):
Oh, before you leave.
Speaker 4 (51:27):
We have a couple. We have a couple of comments
or donations specifically for Tom. Okay, so you mean I
could pay for you Tom to come perform in my
house while I tell you about pop Rocks, grapefruit and
lo Lorena pskey on. My oldest is doing a story
on her. Now his idea, you.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
Can hire me to come to your house. Wow, it's
very expensive. Yeah, it's very expensive. So what do you need?
Big bucks? Big bucks, But I'll do it.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
I could sell a car. What's selling my twenty fourteen
four fusion help?
Speaker 1 (51:59):
Probably half the cowbot is God.
Speaker 4 (52:01):
Thank you for two dollars. Tom. I've been a fan
since the Oh and a Days.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
Oh nice, Wow, Yeah, I love that. That was a
great radio show in New York and they had a
huge following. They were really great. Heck you So hello again, Tom?
Speaker 4 (52:15):
Can you do a wheel spin?
Speaker 1 (52:16):
So?
Speaker 4 (52:16):
I think we'll we'll. I know you gotta get out
of here soon, but every one hundred dollars donation we
have a wheel spine. Would you want to do a
wheel spin?
Speaker 1 (52:24):
For us today. What happens in the wheel spin?
Speaker 3 (52:26):
You can increase her time. You're basically punishing us in
a way, but we have to do it anyways, so
we'll ben.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
I would love to do that spin on my way
out the door.
Speaker 4 (52:36):
Thank you, Tom.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
This was really fun. If anything bad comes up on
this wheel, I apologize.
Speaker 4 (52:42):
No.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
I have had a good time. I hope this doesn't
hurt you too much.
Speaker 3 (52:45):
It's gonna be like two X for five minutes.
Speaker 4 (52:47):
Yeah, this one is for Whitney. Okay, that's one point five.
Speaker 3 (52:52):
Okay, So basically the timer is multiplied for one point five,
So if someone donates one hundred bucks, it counts as
one hundred and fifty.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
I don't know what that means, but it was fun
being here.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
Yeah, dude, thank you, Thank you again. Yeah, guys, thanks Babo.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
All right, enjoy the rest of you, ye,
Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og Storytime
podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
But before that, we get a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like
a little house.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
I try to surprise my wife, but it nearly ended
our marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Surprises are tricky.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Ain't that all right? I'll admit it. I have been
the most attentive husband lately. My wife has told me
I need to make more of an effort in our
relationship or they would have problems. I've tried really hard
to invest in our relationship ever since finding out my
wife is not feeling as happy as she should be.
By the way, this comes from deleted and if you
(00:39):
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash okay story Time Suberreddit.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
I'm Riley, I'm Tom, and I'm Keon and obviously we
have a guest today. Today's guest is a man who
proves comedy and carbs truly belong together. He's a comedian,
best selling author, podcast host, and avid breadmaker now teaming
up with Nambay for his brand new break bread collection,
which launched on October first. Inspired by his love of baking,
(01:04):
especially sourdough, which I'm gonna look into that. The collection
includes everything from elegant measuring spoons and cannisters to knives, utensils,
and premium cutting board perfect for bakers and entertainers alike.
You know him from his hit podcast Breaking Bread with
Tom Papa, where he shares food and last with guests
like Matt Damon, Jimmy Kimmel, and Ali Wong, or from
What a Joke with Papa and Fortune on Serious XM.
(01:27):
He's released six stand up specials, including his latest Netflix special,
Home Free, and is currently on his Grateful Bread Tour.
You've seen him on The Today Show, GMA three, Colbert
and Conan, and now he's here with us. Please welcome
Tom Papa.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Finally made it. That's right, I finally made the big time.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yeah, yeah, you're here. Thanks for having me, dude, Thanks
for coming. Like he drove like four hours a day
on her.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, it's gonna be about ten going home.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
It will be uh. But just a reminder, we are
here to give good advice. Goofully, but we don't have
all the answers. Papa does have more than I do.
We only know what we do, so let us know
what you would do in the comments down below. So Op,
He continues, This f up happened last week. My wife's
birthday was coming up. I decided to go big. My
(02:13):
wife absolutely loves surprises, so I decided to surprise her
with the romantic night and lots of flowers and presents.
She had to go to work early in the morning
of her birthday, and I had the day off. Oh,
I had time to plan everything out. Okay, I mean,
I'm thinking, you know, dinner, wine roses.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah, he's already off to a great start. He's thinking
he's got it, he's got the tie, he's made the time.
Uh huh, and his sole focus is to make his
wife happy. Yes, sky sounds fantastic. What could possibly go wrong?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Well, he continues, I decided, being the idiot, I am
to pretend that I had forgotten my wife's birthday, just
to make the surprise, well even more of a surprise.
I have no idea what it is today.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Oh jeez, Louise.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
The plan was as follow. My wife wakes up and
I don't mention her birthday. She thinks I've forgotten. She
goes to work and I get everything ready. She comes
home in the evening after work and today uh huh,
she will open the door and I'll be waiting with
her with gifts, flowers, dinner and everything romantic I could
(03:26):
think of. Hmm, sounds like an amazing plan, right.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yes, so far, so far, I'm not completely in.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Little there's a couple of flaws.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
I think, like, oh, happy birthday, yes exactly, you know, yeah,
you're right, that's sending her off to get to be angry.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
On the commute.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Did you cook a breakfast?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Like?
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Nothing like that's yeah, it's a little weird, big, high risk.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Nothing special happened in the morning
and my wife left for work while I slept in.
During the day, I got everything ready and apart from
only messing up the dessert, everything went great. When it
was time to wait for my wife to return. She
was supposed to get home after four pm. Four thirty nothing,
(04:10):
five pm, still nothing.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
I was starting to get worried, and I texted her
where she was mm hmm. Around five thirty she read
my message but didn't reply.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Sounds like an affair, but go ahead.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
He gets it, he gets it. It's a coin toss
at this point, who really knows high risk. I was
starting to get extremely worried and texted her if she
was okay. That's when she replied. She texted me, opening
up about how she couldn't believe I had forgotten her birthday,
even after her expressing to me how she had felt
neglected in the relationship and wanting me to put in
(04:48):
more effort. Oh, I forgot about that. He's kind of
already in the doghouse.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, but he still he's still got the plan.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Okay, yeah, he can still come back.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
But now, but this is what you and I were
suspicious of early on, was you send her off angry,
and you're right, he was in the doghouse. So she's
it just affirms what she like. She's not going one
hundred percent. Trust I don't know where this is going,
but she's not one hundred percent. It was just she
comes back and there's a bunch of stuff. She's not
one hundred percent going to believe that he didn't just
(05:18):
pull it out last minute.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
You know what I mean, love bombing kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah, like he's yeah, he's kind of put to your point,
he was already in a hole and now he dug
it deeper, so he's very confident with himself.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I love his confidence and all my stupidity still decided
to play dumb to make my big surprise work. I
told her to just get home so we could talk
about it. Big mistake. She told me she was done
talking and started mentioning divorce.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Come on, do you think she's where do you think
she's texting this from low key?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I'm thinking she got off work, went to a bar
because she's kind of sad, or went I don't know
wherever her third places and then just started.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Like ooh yeah, but what's her third place?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah? Third place? Yeah? What's his name? Third place? Oh?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Man? That's when I called her and she still would
an answer. Then I panicked and started explaining everything to
her by text. I took pictures of all the things
I had done around the house, the gifts, flowers, the decorations,
the dinner. Everything. I wanted to surprise her. That's all
I wanted.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Mmm.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I tried calling her, but Novelle. She read my messages
and after not getting a reply, I just broke down
and started crying.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Oh, bakeang should cry right?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I mean, how big a hole do you think he was?
In before all of this. For this to be at
this level, it sounds like.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
It would have to be like not really communicating, yeah,
or what are some other commons?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
At the beginning, she was asking for surprise, she wanted
more spontaneous, or she wanted attention.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Ooh, I think attention because I think they have said
like I love surprises early on in the relationship and
without really connecting the dats.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Right, she wanted attention. The problem with dudes is you
think you think whatever you're thinking in your head is
happening in the real world.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Which head are you thinking with?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah? Good point. Yeah, how old is he?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
We got a number. I'm thinking like mid thirties, maybe
early forties. Yeah, yeah, you'd think the brain would have developed.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, right, exactly, Yeah, he should have the all heads
should be aligned at this point.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Don't have ages, no ages, no ages, unfortunately, no age.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I'm just assuming.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I'm assuming I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, he sounds younger though, but he's right as a.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Young man at heart. After what felt like the longest
way of my life, my wife comes home. She starts
crying and saying she's sorry. Ah, I told her it
was my fault. They both just started crying and holding
each other. Ah, I was not expecting this. Did you
see this coming?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I didn't see a happy ending coming. Is there more
to it? Yeah, there's there's a lot more, so it
could definitely fall apart.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
We're like maybe halfway through.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I don't like the crying, both of them crying. I
have a feeling she's crying for a different reason though.
I'm suspicious.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Oh yeah, the because of the things she mentioned before.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah, and the third stop. I know we're I know
we're just I know we made that part up, but
I'm sticking to it. I feel like I don't know why,
but I'm sensing there's some there's some guilt in those
in her cry.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah, I do too. We spent the night crying and
cuddling and eating the dinner I made. She told me
it was the best thing she had ever eaten. Obviously,
al I.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I wish I knew what it was. Oh, he doesn't say.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
It probably is pasta.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Spaghetti, dude, just the dumb dude idea of fancy ya pasta.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Don't tell my friend that, because every time he sees me,
he'll make me spaghetti. I'm like, oh, this is so
good man, thanks with saucer. Oh yeah, yeah, he's not,
he's not.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
He's not crazy, Jarred sauce.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And how long you tube been together?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
About two years? I mean it was mediocre at best
and already cold. It wasn't the surprise I had hoped
to give her. I'm just glad to still be married
to her. And yes, we're working to fix our relationship.
I love this woman with all my heart. I had
her permission to share this. We got a little edit
how we feel in did he get out of the doghouse?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
It sounds like they obviously love each other. Yes, I'm
going to take back that she was crying guilty tears,
not completely though. I don't think she was doing something
horrible or director friend over there assumed that she was
really banging in the third place.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Hey over here, it's it's some crazy stuff, right.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
But I do think that she was probably texting, like
talking to somebody else, like my you know what I mean,
Like he's the worst. I don't like him.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
A little bit of emotional cheating.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Perhaps, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, right, emotional cheating like just
kind of which, you know, we don't know how long
they've been together. We don't know if it's warranted. We
don't know how.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
We also don't know her profession. What do you mean, Oh,
certain professions are more likely to cheat according to the.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Internet, right, there's like you're a certain kind of a
dancer a dance. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Well, no, like there's a satistic out there that nurses
are most likely to cheat on their partners. Nurses out
of all the professions.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Really because they're so caring they can't they just can't
stop loving that.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Or I'm thinking, like, imagine working twelve hours and it's
like the worst twelve hours and you got your friend
wraped beside of you. Yeah, and over time you just
kind of create a bond, right yeah, Like yeah, and
then flight attendants I think are pilots are the second thing?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Yeah, I see that. That's in a lot of movies
and stuff. Yeah, because everyone's on the move, everyone's and
also you're in the sky and you're almost you feel
like you're almost dead, like you're about to die, like
we're all doing. Everybody's acting all cool on the plane,
but everybody is legit like, oh no, this might be it, right,
(10:49):
but they're quietly just eating snacks and really do you
feel that way. Yeah, what don't you.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I'm kind of comfortable on planes.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I mean, I'm comfortable, but I'm highly aware that we
could at any second.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
What about whenever you're in a car?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Nah, but I feel any plane crash, car crash. Which
one you're surviving?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah, more likely a car crash.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I think there's a lot of there's a lot of
leeway in the car crash.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
But you're also more likely to get in one.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yes, the odds are greater. But if you are in one,
how many people have you met that were like, yeah,
I was just in a plane crash last week. Not many,
not many, but a lot of people like I got
an uber and I crashed my car last week.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Well, we have a little bit left of this story.
We're about halfway here. There's still an a fair partner
that could come up.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
So we don't know her job.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
We don't know her job.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
So but they seem solid. I feel like they're a
young couple because they're taking big swings and doing things
they think they're supposed to do.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
They also didn't mention kids, right, I think younger yep, yeah,
or smart? Okay, So edit for all of the concerned people, Yes,
we're getting help and fixing things. Like I have stated before,
I appreciate the concern, but with all due respect, I'm
going to take relationship advice from professionals and not from it.
Come on, man, we have great relationship advice.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Are they saying that we're the professionals or where the reddit?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Where the reddit? I know?
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Can't we be both?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
We've lived, we have, you have your pasta friend, yeah,
and you guys, I've been married for twenty five years.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Boom, we can conquer the world, right there? Come on now,
we're basically therapists.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And we love Whitney.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yes, it's weird to have people arguing about my relationship
when frankly, no one knows us or the situation we're in.
I just wanted to share this story on here with
my wife since we've already talked this issue through. Still,
reading your personal experiences and what you have gone through
is helpful, so please it is. Do share if you
feel like doing so. And the people messaging me calling
(12:42):
my wife horrible things? What I sincerely want to say
to you?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
F off Yeah, I like, yeah, it's so funny. He's
got to anticipate that people are gonna say horrible things.
I find both of them adorable.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
My one thing, are we in the suggesting thing?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yah, the better the better she's she She started off
asking for attention and surprises and all the rest of it, right,
and then he trying to make it up, make up
for it because he cares about her. He took a
big swing and makes with a beginning of a really
dumb plan.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yeah, not very calculated swing.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah, just like I'm gonna let her just go off
for eight hours thinking that I forgot that I don't
love her, right, and I slept in I didn't even
get out of bed. I just stayed in bed and
didn't even like yell it from the bed. I mean
that was dumb. But the problem is he set himself
up because just do small things, little surprises along the way,
(13:39):
then you don't have to go really all out and
come and like really swing for the fences.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
What's ah, It's called the Kaisen thing, right?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Is that? Is that? What it is that was the
bad guy in Dunkirk?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
No? No, no, no no, It's this like uh like
Japanese like wisdom thing that you always want to be
one percent better every day. Ooh, like you said, the
small things, right, if you're just doing you don't have
to do the big.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
That's right, exactly. Just leave a little note on the counter,
pick up the stuff she left on the floor in
the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
What was the last small thing you did for your wife?
Speaker 4 (14:13):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I made her toast off of the bread that I baked,
all right, And normally I baked the bread all the time,
and I leave it out in this fresh baked bread,
So it can't really say that that's like a move anymore. Yeah,
but going the extra step of cutting it, toasting it,
buttering it up, giving her a leaving on the counter,
that's a small thing. It's not a huge thing. I
don't even need a thank you. Yeah, I don't even
(14:34):
need to thank you. That's how special I am. Boom,
but it counts.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Okay, we got a second update here. I'm getting so
many comments about this, I've decided to address it here.
Like some have said, I wasn't really thinking about her
when I did what I was doing. I made the
whole surprise essentially about myself, even though I didn't mean to.
It was never my intention to make her feel bad,
even though I now realized that, of course she would
(14:58):
feel horrible for the whole day after I pretended not
to remember her birthday.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Is this the same guy?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Same guy? Ah, so people are calling him out. You
made this all about yourself, not about her.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Oh, people are calling him out in real time. Yeah, yeah, no,
that's it. And it was too big of a it
was too big of a leap. He had all these
little things, he was doing all the right stuff. He's
just not that practiced at it. He's obviously a guy
who doesn't really. Don't you get in relationships sometimes and
you're like, we're together, how much more do you need?
Like we're on lock, I'm not with anybody else, Like
(15:30):
we're Isn't this enough? Don't you realize I love you?
But it does. It doesn't really work that way. You
got to tend to it like a little bonzeye plant exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
My parents freaked out just because I wanted to bake
cookies with my boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Boyfriend's a problem. I can tell.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I love my mom a lot, and I do want
to help her. I just feel like it is necessary
for me to fully understand why she is the way
she is with my boyfriend, and I here is my story.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Dun't dum dum dum dum dumb.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
By the way, this comes some Princess cow sixty nine
And if you want to spit your own stories, go
to the r slash okay story time subreddit. We're here
to give good advice goofully, but we don't have all
the answers. We only know what we do know, So
let us know what you would do in the comments
down below. Op says, I am an eighteen year old
female and going to college this August. Today, I was
hoping to bake chocolate chip cookies with my boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
My boyfriend and I are in a healthy and stable
two year relationship.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Healthy and stable, healthy and stable two year relationship. Okay,
So living with mom, so the kids.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, almost going to college.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Despite this, my parents believe I will have many more
boyfriends in the future.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Oh, he's okay, but you should get out there and
meet people.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
He doesn't have a car. Maybe you should find one
with a car.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
He's not that bright.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
As a result, they view my boyfriend as a disposable
human being. Out what Y take out the trash and
he can go to.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
We need more intel. We're not sure whose side we're on.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
As you can imagine, the past two years have been
an emotional roller coaster because my parents don't approve of
me having a boyfriend, even though he treats me and
my parents with a lot of respect. So today, around
three o'clock, I texted my mom while she was at
our pool club with my dad and younger brother. Okay,
they had already been there for some time before I
(17:26):
texted her. I asked her for my permission to have
my boyfriend over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me,
because unfortunately I don't have a lot of cooking experience,
and my boyfriend has a decent background in cooking and
is willing to help me learn how to make basic recipes. Okay,
sounds pretty innocent when you're saying I. After I texted
(17:47):
my mom about her wholesome plans to bake cookies, she
told me to have them over at six o'clock.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It's three o'clock right now, Okay.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I was okay with this, so I went back to
doing my thing. Then a few minutes later, I got
another text my mom that said, you really pack a
lot of things in a day, don't you.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
You're putting a lot of emphasis on that. I can
I can hear, and I feel like you're right.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
This really annoyed me, so I responded, I'm just trying
to have fun before I leave for college in three weeks.
A few more minutes went by, and she said, you're
not ready to leave?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Oh over text? Oh this is over Texas and she
doesn't come home yet.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Okay, okay, Now this is when I got really pissed,
and I sent my boyfriend's screenshots of her text.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Oh geez. He found it.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Very disrespectful of her to say that, because I'm not
to toot my own horn. But I've proven time and
time again to my parents that I am a mature
young woman.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I believe her.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I mean, i'd like to see like a GPA, maybe
what college she went to. I don't know. You have
doubts some things to back her up. I mean, like
she's on Reddit talking about this.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah good point, Yeah, good point.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
But everyone has their troubles.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
This is just they just don't like this guy to
begin with. So when you're like, I'm gonna big cookies
like my house fire mess, they even clean up after them,
So probably not. And they think that they do they
think they're responsible and that they're clean, but they're really gross.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Yeah, I mean, like you're you're a parent, right I am.
If you wanted to have this conversation with your kid, Yeah,
how would you bring it.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Up as we're going on this journey. Yeah, I'm trying
to get clues of what this guy is about and
why they think that he's not good for her and
maybe slowing her down for maturing and stuff like, Because
if I got the call, like me and Doug are
gonna make cookies, make sure you clean up, Like, I
wouldn't be sweating it.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Yeah, you would be like, why are you packing so
much in your day?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
So I'm not right exactly. So I'm not sure if
the mom's sweating it because the kid's a mess, or
if the mom's sweating it because she's drunk at the
pool club. M I need more info.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
So she says, I never get into any trouble. I
have never had more than a few SIPs of booze.
I have never even laid eyes on substances, get good grades.
It was a good kid going to a prestigious college,
and I'm willing to work hard in college to ensure
that I have a successful future. Why the heck would
my mother say that to me when I've proven time
(20:11):
and time again that I strive to be a good daughter.
Why wouldn't I be ready for college when I have
already displayed the traits of someone ready to face the
real world. I feel like, if they are going to
continually negatively reinforce my good behavior, why should I even bother? Okay,
and we have more context here, do we. Well, she
got into a prestigious college. Yeah she I mean, she
(20:34):
doesn't seem like she parties a lot, she keeps her
nose clean.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
True, but something Yeah, all right, So what do you
think you think it's the mom is the problem? I mean,
why is the mom so uptight when she hears we're
making cookies?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Helicopter parent?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah? Maybe if she's if it's.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Very like emphasis on this kid to have like a
good future.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
M m.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
It's like, oh, I don't like like this boyfriend vibe.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
I don't know, this was tough. I feel like this
is like she she's telling the story and it's like, oh, yeah,
this all makes perfect sense. It's a good, clean kid
and going and it's got this perfect boyfriend, and the
mom's gonna be like, oh no, wait a minute, Yeah,
do you know what happened last time they were in
my kitchen alone, they were making this, and we came
home and found them on the counter.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
You know what I mean, there's like chicken everywhere on
the calendar.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, they're on the counter.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
It's just like, yeah, huge mess.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, we don't know. I feel like there's something that
we don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
And she's playing innocent and just being like, sounds like.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
A great kid, sounds great. I'm just suspicious of what
this mom would say.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Yeah, And sometimes with these stories, all we get is
like one person's perspective and not the other.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yeah, of course, and there's not so we have to
be like investigators. We need clues, yes, and so far
I don't have a lot of clues. I'm starting to
think maybe the mom's just a cook coock ke getting
that not all moms are great.
Speaker 4 (21:52):
But some of our commentars are saying the term making
cookies could be an innuendo.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Wait a minute, she said, he's she said, well, I'm
gonna make cookies. The mom responded, wait till six. That's weird.
That is weird because when you just said that, like,
there's another they're up to something else. When they're saying
the cookies.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
They're making something.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
If I felt if I was suspicious, I would say
I'll be home at six, okay, and then show up
at four. Oh my god, you know, why is the mom?
If the mom doesn't like this situation, and she's like,
wait till.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
I don't know, I'm not buying the end of window.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I think the mom's up to no good at that
pool club.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But her husband's there, and her kid.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Is the husband there, he might be at work.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Well, they said he was there, so sometime I went
by and it was already past six. My family had
to come home. Yet it's a rule in our house
that my boyfriend is not allowed to come into our
house unless one of my parents are home. I figured
that my plans to bake cookies weren't going to happen.
This made me really pissed off because my mom gave
me the okay. He said my boyfriend over at six, though, yeah,
(23:02):
and I was home alone, but it's after six, he's
not here. I was keeping my boyfriend updated on the situation,
and he was also getting annoyed with my parents. It
was around six thirty when they finally came home. My
boyfriend and I canceled our friends to make cookies because
we could tell that they did not want him there
if they were going to come home. After we agreed
(23:23):
on a time, my parents could sense that I was
getting emotional. They asked me what was wrong, So I
told them that I was upset over the fact that
they came home after six. They said it would have
been fine to have him over before they got home,
But why didn't they just say so? I'm so sick
of assuming what is right to do. There is such
a lack of communication and it is important for them
(23:45):
to recognize that. We got into another heated argument that
gave me another massive headache. They said something along the
lines of, well, you haven't eaten much today, so we
didn't think it was a good idea to have him over.
What a way to deflect what you haven't eaten much today?
So we didn't think it was a good idea to
have him over? Uh huh, what does that even mean?
(24:05):
He's the one that cooks.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
I'm going to make an assumption. Okay, she's a bit
of a drama queen.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Oh ope, like the writers?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, oh I believe Yeah, I think there's a lot
going like making big deals out of things that is.
A parent's just like did you eat lunch? Oh my god,
we were gonna make cookies? Why you hate my boyfriend?
They just I just asked if you had lunch? You
know what I mean. It feels like one of those.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
It's like how is school today? And they just like,
why are you asking thing?
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Right? Exactly?
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Well, God, I'm also seeing it from like an eighteen
year old perspective. I'm leaving a college of three weeks.
My boyfriend and I are going to the same college.
We're probably gonna have to do long distance. I want
to spend as much time as I can with them.
The only way I can do that if my parents
are home and they're not home, and I can't really
spend time with them unless they're home.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
You know, why aren't they going to the boyfriend's house?
Because his family's no good and they and he's a
bum mm and the parents don't like it. Probably we
don't know why, but why aren't they going on his house?
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Then it's kind of like giving me a little bit
of a like the parents are Christian in a way,
because like they're like, we don't want anything to happen
while you're at the house alone, so we're gonna make
sure one of us are here.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, but then she said you could have had him
over before we got home.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
That part's weird.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
There's a lot of weirdness in this. That's why I
think she's a drama queen. She's kind of popping off
things that are supposed to be a big deal but
they're not. Yeah, I'm just assuming, but it sounds like
she's kind of making a big deal out of small things.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
We got. We got some people here agreeing with you.
Christina says, yeah, she sounds like she's immature.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
I become accustomed to their deflection, and it literally makes
me want to drink wet cement.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Drama he called it. I did not even see it
in drama.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
They also said, remember you always have one mother and
one father and many other boyfriends in the future. This
just proves my point that they see my boyfriend as disposable. Anyway,
After another half hour of deflection and more incoherent points
made by my mother and father, I decided to end
the argument before I lost more brain cells and went
(26:10):
to my room to relax. Well after I spent a
few minutes in my room watching YouTube videos of Okay
story time without knocking. My father came into my room
and said, Hi, are you okay? I just wanted to
say that you should remember that we love you very much.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Have you pulled that move before?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, because you know they're spiraling. Their emotions are out
of control. They can't even control them themselves. They're just
screaming and slamming doors. You can't solve it. They just
have to grow out of it and grow up and
all that other stuff. And all you can do, and
kudos to the dad, is let them know that they
(26:50):
love them. We're not pushing you away. We're here for you.
I love you. And they don't try and solve it,
don't because they're off on another planet. And my daughters
have told me, you know, after having gone through that, Yeah, like, oh,
I didn't even know who I was at that moment. Wow,
you know what I mean? Like, yeah, there's so much
help going on and it's just hormones and emotions and
(27:13):
all the things.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yeah, When she says, I just went to my room
to watch videos, No storm down the.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Hall, slam the door?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Do you hate me? Slam the door.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
I mean, we've all been moody teenagers. It's a process
of life. And then you look back into your Wow,
I was such an ass.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yeah, no shade on the girl either, because she is
feeling it. She is going through it.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I appreciate my dad trying to make me feel better,
but I don't like how he was trying to condition
me to justify all their actions just because they say
we love you.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
He's not thinking that much.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
When a little while later, my mom actually had the
decency to knock on my door, she asked if she
could come in, so I said no, thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Oh. Mom always gets it the worst.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Because I wasn't in the mood to talk to her yet.
She asked me if I wanted anything to eat, and
I told her that I lost my appetite. Somewhat left
things on a good terms, but I still feel like crap.
I'm just so sick of being treated like a five
year old when in reality I'm a legal adult who
has demonstrated maturity. I don't think what my parents said
(28:21):
and did in the situation was justified. The way they
have treated my respect and my kind boyfriend for the
past two years is not justified. I'm just really looking
forward to leaving for college in three weeks. I love
my mom and dad very much. I appreciate everything they
have done for me in the past eighteen years. But
I think some space between us is what we need
(28:43):
to reduce that overbearing parenting.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
She solved it herself. Look at that. She's smart. Yeah,
she said exactly what you said.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
She's mature.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
She's mature. Let me ask you a question. You're smart, Yeah,
you're emotionally aware. Some you've lived a life. How long
does her and the boyfriend last?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
I was also in that situation.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Okay, this is horrible of me to say say it
two months.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, but they've been together for two years, so it
might be a little. I would say six months because
they've been together for two years. Okay, But I was
kind of with a girl over the summer, and then
I met another girl and I was like, hey, we
got to be friends. And then I was with that
girl for three years?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Right, for three years?
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Yeah, Like, oh wow, I'm monkey branched. What do you think?
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yeah, I think you're right. I think what happens a
lot is uh, you say you're you're still in it.
You talk a lot when you first get there talking
all the time, then not quite as often, get your
routine and your routine, then maybe something happens a little
bit with somebody or something.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
And then you're walking down the hall and you accidentally
bump into someone. Your books fall.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yep, that old move. And then the real test is Thanksgiving. Oh,
when you come home for the first time and it's
just a little weird.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Yeah, someone said, five days post move, they're not going
to like Arizona University or Miami.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
University five days, right.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Yeah, who knows many college changes people. So she has
a little disclaimer before we end this story.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Okay, we're still in her Okay, I.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Am not hating on my mother's lifestyle, nor anyone else
who lives by a similar lifestyle. Blame by the pool
and everything like that.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Yeah, she's okay, she is dissing it a little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
But I feel like it is necessary to mention her
past to better understand.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Uh uh she acts this way. Oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Dude, how did you get this right? When my mom
was younger than me, she had really begun drinking large
amounts of booze, going to parties, smoking Devil's lettuce, and
getting with a lot of guys.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
You called that feel like I went to high school
with her.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Probably she had had her heart broken several times by
men because they cheated or broke up with her. This
is my mother projecting her past experiences onto me. Is
it even rational to think that my mom is jealous
of me because I found an amazing and faithful guy
early on. If I could get any feedback on my situation,
he would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading this far.
(31:11):
I feel like you got a lot of life to
live to. I think that's what her mom was trying
to say.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah, I mean the writer of this she is smart. Yeah,
she's correct. If her mom went through that, she probably
is projecting a little bit. I don't think she's jealous
of her, but she's definitely you know, you carry that
stuff and it's like, however, my kids did not grow
up the way I did, but I would treat them like,
oh no, this is what's going to happen.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
You know.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, but you are projecting it a little bit. I
think she's right in a stage where she's making more
out of it than you know. Yeah, it's all like
this big, heavy evaluation and she's treating me this way
and doesn't respect to respect respect. Eh, just go to school, exactly,
Just go to school.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Live some line.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah, she loves you. You know her hang ups, her
past and all of her flaws. You're gonna study them
your whole life, and there's gonna be new ones that
you're gonna come up with at different stages. And you're
not wrong. She's not wrong. But we're all messy human beings.
And you just got to kind of ride it out.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Yeah, that's life.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
That's life, and just keep loving each other despite them
being whack.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
I didn't get it too bad. It was it was
not bad. Did you you went to college rider?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (32:21):
How was that like leaving for college you go kind
of through this?
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Uh No, No, not really bad. No were they like
we didn't really fight, Like I fought more with my
parents when I was like younger, like going into high school.
It was just kind of growing not We didn't really.
It wasn't that kind of a household.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, No, they were cool. I mean, you know their parents,
so they're annoying. Yeah, you do go through stages where
you let you're lashing it out because you know you're
they're your only example of the adult world. Yeah, you know,
but this the uh, she's gonna do great. Go to
school and enjoy yourself, break up with your boyfriend, to
break up with you disposable too, is disposal and she
(33:05):
kind of knows it too. But she's in love. She's
got the whole world's changing. That's the one guy that's
that's constant, that.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
Is true, amazing and fair.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Any sweet you like him?
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Yeah, save it's the mother's no best kind of thing.
Usually Usually mothers know best, and they know they know
their children, you know, better than ourselves sometimes.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yeah, nothing makes you more angry when they're right.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
Yeah, you're like, damn it, how she know?
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Yeah, I got another one for you here. Oh yeah,
this one was right up your alley. Okay you ready?
Hmmm yes, yes, John Here og host.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick
three minute break from house from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
My sister replaced my entire resume with the words garlic bread.
Huh yes, read it. I'm eighteen female, know how hilarious
this may sound, And I promise you this is not
a joke, as I am genuinely freaking out right now.
I am soon finishing up secondary school, high school and
looking for my very first job for the summer. So
(34:01):
when I was feeling out my resume, I didn't have
a lot of experience to mention, so I decided to
do hobbies and passion selection taking advice from others. By
the way, this comes from deleted and if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the arm slash
okay story Tom subreddit. We are here to give good advice.
Goefully we have the professional mister Tom Pappa here to
help us with that. But we don't know all the
(34:23):
things that are out there. And if you know something,
do you like the comment, please do so down below.
And Op says, I stupidly left my laptop out in
the kitchen today while I went to the shop to
get some tea, and my mischievous of a sister fifteen
female thought it would be the joke of the century
to delete my hobbies in passion section and replace everything
(34:46):
with a single bullet point saying garlic Brett.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
I love this kid.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
I had closed the word document saving it before leaving.
She opened it, changed it without telling me, and saved
it and closed it before I came back. Yes, she
knows bloody well that I'm looking for jobs at the moment,
and she knew I'd spent the afternoon working on my resume.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
If it didn't mess with the formatting, I'm all for it,
you know what I mean. If it sends up to
another page or made it yanky. Yeah, don't you think
if you're the employer, if I'd be like, yeah, and.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
I'm looking for like I'm going through resumes all day,
one after the other.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Garlic bread, garlic bread. You're seeing like hiking, tennis, surf hiking, surfing,
reading garlic bread. Okay, I'm sold. Yeah, I'm in.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
You're hired.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah, you don't even have to come in for the interview.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
Yeah, this actually might increase her chances.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
I came home with the tea anyway, And since I
was happy with my resume, I didn't bother to recheck it,
and I had no idea someone would change it to
garlic bread. While I was gone. I sent it to
multiple job applications from an online hiring site which had
places hiring in my town. I'd say I sent this
(36:03):
garlic bread resume to about twenty to thirty institutions in total.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
I want results. I want to hear the results.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
It was only after I sent that I decided to
reach out my resume when I notice the horrible altercation
or blessing, I am absolutely mortified. I immediately confronted my
sister about it, getting a strong sense sence that she
was the most likely culprit. And she thought it was
(36:32):
effing hilarious.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Me too.
Speaker 4 (36:35):
It is pretty funny.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
It's a great joke.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
She literally laughed until she cried while I was standing
there nearly crying from stress and mortification. My sister has
always been a joker, and she gets away with bloody unliving.
But this was so serious.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
I am sick of her pulling off this site to
everyone around her thinking it's funny or on cool or something.
It was only when I explained to her her the
full seriousness of the situation and that I had sent
it to twenty to thirty places that she understood and apologized.
See the easy solution here is just remake the job
(37:14):
application and submit it in your sister's name.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
It's in the special Skills hobbies little section.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
She has no job experience, Yeah, you know, I think
that's all she had was just her hobbies and like passions.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Well, then she's got a real problem. Even if you
don't have no, you make it up. Yeah, you're like, yeah,
you're like, you know, if you would know when you're
trying to get a job of the off the farm
there and in the South, and you're like, you know,
I worked in a farm, I did farm management, sawmill. Yeah,
I did all this kind of stuff, and yeah, you
pad it and everybody knows what you're trying to do.
(37:48):
You're trying to but it was an experience. If you
got a resume with just special.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Skills, that is true.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah, you feel like he didn't work at all.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
You didn't not a paper route or volunteering. Yeah, he
didn't work in a mall sweep something before. Yeah, odd jog,
I'm tables cutting lines.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
One word, so just two words on the whole resume.
Garlic bread, garlic bread.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
I don't know if I see that in the resume,
I'm like this guy, this guy's funny, but also he
can do garlic bread.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
I'm soul Yeah, no kidding woof.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Not sure if she was being genuine, but the words
i'm sorry definitely left her mouth.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
Then she had the audacity to blame me for it,
asking me why I hadn't checked it before sending it off.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
Mm mmm.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
I screamed at her that I had checked in multiple
times before going to go get the tea and didn't
expect anyone else to change it while I was gone.
She then backpedaled and insisted that she meant it as
a joke, like it's just a prank bra mentality. But
I'm having none of it. I don't know what the
heck to do now and how to rectify the situation.
(38:57):
I've never had job hunted before, and we don't know
how serious this stupid mistake is. I live in a
large enough Irish town, but small enough for businesses to
spread gossip. I'm so terrified that they'll all now know
not to hire the garlic bread girl. Should I email
the places I applied to to explaining the situation, or
(39:19):
will I sound like a complete knob?
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Did she get any results? Did anyone like contact her
and say we don't know we'd talked to you because
of the garlic bread or she didn't give us results?
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Can you see if there's a up thing?
Speaker 4 (39:29):
I'm gonn check if there's an updates.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
See if there's an update. Wanta go pee by this bush.
It's she's I like this younger sister though this funny
she is.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
She's a good humor.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
I don't have an update, so go ahead finish the story.
But I have some comments from op from the post. Oh,
it's actually pretty funny and pretty lighthearted, so.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
We kind of do have an update a little bit,
a little bit. Yeah, so to finish the story. Technically,
it is true that garlic bread is a passion of
mine simply because it's delicious. Yeah, but obviously it's not
worth it in your resume. The businesses probably think I'm
taking the piss and it's extremely unprofessional. I'm so annoyed
(40:08):
that this is my first impression in the working world
and I'm not even hired and I've already left up.
Should I resend them my application with my resume fixed?
Should I move on and try to forget about the
places I applied and apply to new businesses with the
rectified resume. Should I just effing move town at this point,
(40:28):
since I've clearly made a fool of myself already. Also,
do I talk to my parents or sister about her stupid, spoiled,
bratty behavior.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
I didn't know that she was really good at making
garlic bread. Yeah, leave it on it?
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Did say making?
Speaker 1 (40:43):
I think maybe didn't it say? Oh didn't didn't she
say something like that that she made it.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
And a bread of garlic bread is a passion of mine.
It's making or eating.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
But ye, probably both makes it and eats it.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
Oh I did. I thought she was just she said
either way.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
It's a passion of her. Leave it on the resid
good conversation starter. H And then you can go off
like brand in the interview.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Well, yeah, Tom's Tom's actually one hundred percent correct. A
lot of so I looked at the post. A lot
of the comments are from managers or people who hire
no way, and they're like this is you know, from
like getting all the bland resumes. Yeah, this one stands
out and yet, Yeah, that's really funny. It's gonna make
me laugh. Usually someone will laugh stuff and it would
(41:27):
make me want to have you come in for an interview.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
Yeah, there's like five people that're like, no, this is hilarious,
Like this would stand out. I think it's hilarious. I
would call you in for an interview because it's different.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Even if you're not a person that has a real
good sense of humor. You'd be like, this is a
forward thinker. They put something, they did something no one
else did. Let's see what this person's about.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Yeah right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
Yeah, it seems like a sense of humor, sense of personality,
just like Jellbi says.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
No, A lot, a lot of a lot of the
people replying are like, don't even apologize. Ride the wave. Yeah,
use it to your power. I mean, yes, talk to
your parents about this, make sure it never happens again.
But use this, I guess as a blessing in disguise
as a you know, it will make you stand out.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Yes, exactly. Pretend you're angry with your sister so she
doesn't sabotage you in other ways that aren't as funny.
But yeah, but you'll get a great job and be
hired by good people who will probably let you pee outside.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Probably so, and there might be like a new Italian
restaurant coming around the corner. True, they're looking for people
that know about garlic bread.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Yeah, no kidding. I mean a lot of times entry
level jobs, you're responsible for getting everyone's lunch orders.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
That is true. You know, I did not think it'd
work out that well. I was really thinking, Yeah, you
might need to like look for other places of other regions.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
As an Italian American and a bread baker, I think
this is possibly the greatest resume have ever heard of.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Wow. Yeah, well we got one more segment for you. Okay,
if you still got time, I got time. Okay.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
My name is Tom Papa and I am a stand
up comedian and a writer and a radio host and
a podcast host. I have the Breaking Bread podcast on
all the places you get podcasts, and I'm just here.
Today's TUIs spend some nonsense time with my friends.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
It's honestly been so great. You've been great.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
Everyone's loving it. I know you're on tour. You want
to go ahead and let everyone know about your tour?
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Yeah, if you go to tompapa dot com, that'll lead
you to all the stuff that I got going on,
and predominantly I'm on tour right now, going all across
the country. It's called the Grateful Bread Tour, and I'm
performing in Boston, in New Jersey, and Philadelphia, Florida, Phoenix,
a whole bunch of places all through twenty twenty six,
(43:41):
all leading up to my next Netflix special, which i'll
be doing this time next year, amazing.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
We have a new segment called Red Flag, Green Flag.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Hey, it's am We're gonna get back to these stories.
But here's three of it's bads from our sponsors that
keep the show alive.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Red flag, Green flag.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
Yes, And I'm gonna ask you some questions, and you're
gonna tell me if this is a red flag or
a green flag.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Red I'm thinking was would be a negative response, and
green I'm thinking positive response.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
You're right on it, right there, Okay, Red flag, green flag.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
They say they don't eat bread.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Red flag. Anybody that says they don't eat bread, I
have to question why you are here?
Speaker 4 (44:22):
What about gluten? What about gluten free?
Speaker 3 (44:24):
What about now they're gluten free?
Speaker 1 (44:26):
If you have celia, if you have celiac, yes, if
you have gluten intolerance. I think you should do a
little more research because what why have we been eating
bread for centuries and now we show up and you
can't eat bread? No. It's the thing is, it's not
real bread. Bread, my friends, is flower water, salt, and yeast.
(44:48):
That's all that goes into bread.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
Not the natural flavors.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Look at all. Yeah, look at your bread labels in
the supermarket, thirty five ingredients, stuff you can't pronounce, sugars,
all this other stuff. That combination of stuff makes you sick.
Not the bread noted. Enjoy your life.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Red flag, green flag. They complain about kids these days
while not knowing how to use air drop.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I think I'm answering the right way. If you don't
understand the way the world works anymore because you're getting older,
it's a green flag. Don't blame other people? Am I
answering this correctly?
Speaker 3 (45:22):
They complain about kids these days while not knowing how
to use air drops?
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Okay, then red flag right again. I'm against those people
that are com y. Yeah, yeah, you know, as someone
who loses ground a lot, and you know, can where
is the where's the button? Where's the thing? Hot? Do
you swipe it? You know? I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
What is six to seven?
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Don't it's you? It's yeah, six seven exactly? No you Tom, No,
I love six seven. What's weird is that I find
myself alone screaming it in places when I don't because
I don't. I don't roll with my boys anymore by myself.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
And when I hear six am and and start screaming
that no one knows what's up.
Speaker 4 (46:01):
He's one of us.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
Red flag green flows. Okay, they claim to live in
the moment, but panic when the Wi fi drops for
five minutes.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
I'm gonna give green flag to those people that complain
when the Wi fi goes for five minutes, because we're
all victims. We're all slaves to it. M if it
goes down, now, we're all just we're all crippled by it.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
That's a good point. You know how many Wi Fi
services we have here?
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (46:24):
Three?
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Really?
Speaker 3 (46:25):
Three different fiber fiber fiber again, yeah, and then also
satellite just in case throws back around.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Wow. Yeah, yeah. I mean it's so important. The whole
world runs on it.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
It does.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I want to act like a bigger person, like we
don't need it. You need it. We're connected to it.
If it goes down, you bet, I'm complaining.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
Yeah, we wouldn't be here if it went on.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
The good thing about being here is that you're savvy.
You've got everyone here is tech savvy. When you're just
in a house and you're the dad, for some reason,
you're supposed to be the it guy, we look up
and I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
You fixed the same. First, you can fix the Wi Fi.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Red Flag, Green Flag They say they were too busy
for dinner, but binge watch a whole Netflix season that night.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
Yeah, I'm gonna give that red flag really yeah, I mean,
because what they're saying is I just don't want to
be with other people right now, right yeah, they can
still like this is like friends a friend and they're like,
I don't have time for dinner, and then they say,
I watched all of Friends, the whole thing's comedy. Tell yeah,
you know what we are at this inflection point. People
(47:36):
are important. The pandemic sent us into this weird cave.
We have to get back with each other. No one
goes to happy hour anymore. Like we need each other.
Speaker 3 (47:45):
There's no third place.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
There's no third place. Exactly, there's no third place and
we need it. So now I'm not cool with that.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Not cool. I don't like the lying part. But I'm
taking a day to yourself to kind of like, you know,
get it like Rod a little bit.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
Yeah, you want to you want to just be alone,
do your thing, but be honest about.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
It, exactly.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
Red Flag, Green Flag they call themselves dog parents, but
don't pick up after their dog.
Speaker 1 (48:13):
Major red flag. Yeah, and you know this even when
you don't eat beans. Yeah, we have two dogs. Yeah,
it's really my wife and my kids have two dogs.
I don't, but I find myself having to walk them
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Oh, don't come on, you love feeding them.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
I don't take care of them. I don't. I really
wish I was a better person, but every time I'm
walking them like it could be doing something else.
Speaker 3 (48:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Yeah, I don't want to make myself if sound worse,
But pick up after your dog and pick it up
and bring it all the way back to your house
and dispose of it. You don't go dropping it in
other people's recycle bins and whatever along the way. You
gotta carry it home. It's your responsibility.
Speaker 3 (48:53):
Okay, that is so foreign to me, because really I
am not used to picking up after my.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
Dog because you lived in the country, so you just
let them.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
Go, yeah, right, and then picking up after them, and
then also you have to put it in your own
trash Candlem.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Yeah, this is the city suburban living. You gotta it's
your job, and there are people that aren't cool with it.
I just I don't fight it as much as I
do when I was younger, you know, when we first
had a place and people would put it in and
be like, oh dude, what kind of person does this?
The reality is it's most dog people do that. They're
not the best. There's a lot of dog crap around
(49:26):
my neighborhood right now that people didn't even bag up.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
Pully go. Yeah, red flag, green flag. They think staying
in on a Friday is sad.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Red flag. I mean, like I said, you want to
be with people. We do need to be with people,
but sometimes, like you said, you just want to be alone.
What's wrong with a Friday with your most favorite person? You?
Speaker 3 (49:46):
Yeah, I last Friday seven thirty out.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Good for you. Yeah, once in a while, you need
to do that.
Speaker 3 (49:53):
What do you do on Friday nights?
Speaker 1 (49:54):
I'm performing somewhere.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
How was it the weekends? Do you ever like wish?
Speaker 1 (49:58):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (49:58):
I wish I didn't have anywhere to be on the weekend.
Well you're kind of prom Tom though, You're like, yeah,
you're the then I am the weekend.
Speaker 4 (50:04):
Oh wow, you're the artist the weekend.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
That's right. I love thevend Did you like me in
the Super Bowl? Yeah? Great, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
I could have done without the mirrored part, but no.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
It was it wasn't my idea. I get what you're saying, all.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
Right, last one. Okay, red flag, green flag. They clap
when the plane lands.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
You look, I'm giving a green because you do it.
I'm giving a greed. You do it, given a green.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
Yay, we're alive.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
We're alive, We're back on the ground.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
It's not like, yeah, I like it.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
It's a little cringey for sure. You know what I'm
all for. Let's celebrate some moments. Let's do it. I'm
completely broken through the other side. I he embraces Yeah,
I embrace it. And I know it's a dad thing.
It's an it's an age thing. But it's also seeing
clearly thing. Okay. Talk of people on elevators. Yes, applaud
(51:02):
when the plane lands. Give someone a high five. This
is a complete stranger. Just because you're in the produce aisle.
They picked out a nice cantalope. You know, job man celebrated.
Enjoy it, enjoy your life. Yeah, I don't. Goofy's good.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
Goofy's good.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, I love that. Thank you, thank you. This was
really a blast.
Speaker 3 (51:20):
Yeah, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I had a
big good time over here.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
All right, good and I'm glad.
Speaker 3 (51:26):
Oh, before you leave.
Speaker 4 (51:27):
We have a couple. We have a couple of comments
or donations specifically for Tom. Okay, so you mean I
could pay for you Tom to come perform in my
house while I tell you about pop Rocks, grapefruit and
lo Lorena pskey on. My oldest is doing a story
on her. Now his idea, you.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
Can hire me to come to your house. Wow, it's
very expensive. Yeah, it's very expensive. So what do you need?
Big bucks? Big bucks, But I'll do it.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
I could sell a car. What's selling my twenty fourteen
four fusion help?
Speaker 1 (51:59):
Probably half the cowbot is God.
Speaker 4 (52:01):
Thank you for two dollars. Tom. I've been a fan
since the Oh and a Days.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
Oh nice, Wow, Yeah, I love that. That was a
great radio show in New York and they had a
huge following. They were really great. Heck you So hello again, Tom?
Speaker 4 (52:15):
Can you do a wheel spin?
Speaker 1 (52:16):
So?
Speaker 4 (52:16):
I think we'll we'll. I know you gotta get out
of here soon, but every one hundred dollars donation we
have a wheel spine. Would you want to do a
wheel spin?
Speaker 1 (52:24):
For us today. What happens in the wheel spin?
Speaker 3 (52:26):
You can increase her time. You're basically punishing us in
a way, but we have to do it anyways, so
we'll ben.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
I would love to do that spin on my way
out the door.
Speaker 4 (52:36):
Thank you, Tom.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
This was really fun. If anything bad comes up on
this wheel, I apologize.
Speaker 4 (52:42):
No.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
I have had a good time. I hope this doesn't
hurt you too much.
Speaker 3 (52:45):
It's gonna be like two X for five minutes.
Speaker 4 (52:47):
Yeah, this one is for Whitney. Okay, that's one point five.
Speaker 3 (52:52):
Okay, So basically the timer is multiplied for one point five,
So if someone donates one hundred bucks, it counts as
one hundred and fifty.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
I don't know what that means, but it was fun
being here.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
Yeah, dude, thank you, Thank you again. Yeah, guys, thanks Babo.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
All right, enjoy the rest of you, ye,
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