August 22, 2025 • 53 mins
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00:00 r/BestIfRedditorUpdates - ’m living with my CHEATER Ex’s Mom
16:03 r/relatiosnhip_advice - I (29M) showed up to my gf’s (25F) house and found her hanging out with a guy from class at 2am.
33:24 r/relationship_advice - Girlfriend (28F) had a sleepover with another guy. I (29M) am considering ending things?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is cole Minor, John, this is cole Minor Sale
And we have been digging for stories on the Okay
Storytime podcast as long as we can remember saying.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And we've found some diamonds of the rough.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
How haven't we job? That's right? But before we do that,
we have to wade through two more minutes of incredible
ads from our sponsors keeping us finding more great stories
on this show.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I'm living with my cheating ex's mom.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
It's our complicated living situation.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Hi, I'm twenty two. My ex twenty two female cheated
on me. Her mom punted her out. Her mom forty
three females said I could live in the house forever
if I wanted. Am I the a hole? If I stay.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Calling her right now?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
The mom wants you bad.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
She wants you bad. By the way, this comes from
cry Repulsive ninety four to forty nine, And if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash.
Okay Storytime suppered it. So I met my ex, let's
call her Lisa. So it's less intense for me. Writing
X is still a lot. You know, we met in
high school. We started dating when we were thirteen. It
was great her mom liked me, and I love Lisa.
(01:01):
She was funny, smart, and was gorgeous. She was a
gorgeous thirteen year old. We spent a lot of time
at her place because she was thirteen. Doi I was
so happy back then. I don't have parents, so I
lived with my grandma. But she was more than enough.
She was strong, funny in a crude way, lively, and
a straight up legend. I was seventeen when she passed
(01:23):
and I moved in with Lisa and her mom. I
was devastated, but they were very inviting. My relationship with
Lisa grew. It was amazing. They helped me through it.
Lisa was my rock. It was the three of us
since until now.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah, because she found another rock to sit on rhymes.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
With the rock whoa oh yikes. Every day was similar
after our high school graduation. Her mom would drop Lisa
off at university and then her mom, let's call her Jen,
writing her mom over and over and this rant will
be weird. Jen and I would go to work, we
work on the same street, and then we'd leave at
five pm and go home. Lisa would be home by then.
Then we'd eat dinner together.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Cute.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
It was like that for the last.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Two years, a little too cute.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I know for some that sounds boring, but I enjoy stability.
I was happy, and we were saving up money for
our own place, a good place. Jen never asked for end,
but she always took it because she knows how important
it is to me that I contribute. Lisa and Jen
were my family. I was gonna marry Lisa and Jen
was my best friend. I know it's weird that my
best friend is my ex girlfriend's mom.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Well, now that we understand living which she's basically your
mom yeah or.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Mommy iyeyy yi. I found out she was cheating on
me last month.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
She accidentally sent me a text that was clearly meant
for him. Ooh. I was devastated and started crying. It
was unbearable. Jen heard me. I showed her my phone
and she just helped me. Lisa came home and instead
of apologizing or making an excuse, she said, with venom,
I am a new man and a better man.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Pack up.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Oh wow, that's crazy. It repeats in my head most days.
Jen snap. There was screaming and swearing. Jen ended up
telling Lisa she had thirty minutes to back up. I
just hid in the office and locked the door. I
couldn't handle it. I was paralyzed in that one spot.
Lisa left about two hours later.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
What so, wow, I'm just confused. How Ope he yeah,
didn't see this common Yeah she said it with venom. Yeah,
wouldn't there be like something now you see it now different?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I don't know. I feel like this is not at
all like going to be excusing her of her behavior
because that's terrible. But I feel like she's been with
this guy for thirteen years.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
He started living with her because of, you know, some
loss of his grandmother.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
So okay, so they've been together for thirteen years, started
living with each other.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, well they haven't been together.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Thirteen years, I know, but like they started living to
each other. So like, yeah, they're really cool. What you're
saying is they're getting really close to one another.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I'm talking about Ope and his girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying too. Yeah, so like they've
been together, yeah for thirteen years, sort of living in
one another. There's just not a lot of separations exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, And so it gets it's like, how you know,
you got to present someone who you're constantly living with
then you know, you have no space from Yeah, and
she did the worst. You know she dealt with that
in the worst way possible by cheating on her partner.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yep, he likes to cuddle. He's like Sophia. He likes
to cuddle, but she likes to cuddle with somebody else. Yikes,
she's starting to do that. Like how did ope? He
thought this was here? But how do you not see
signs of it doing this?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I don't know. I don't know complacent, I don't know
cowboys God says. She accidentally sent him a text that
said you're so much better than my boyfriend. Probably, but
Jen held me and said, this is your home for
as long as you want. If you want to move,
I'll miss you, but you'll still be family. If you want,
you can stay forever.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
I know exactly how he held her to how she
held her.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Uh oh, yikes, Yice. Being told that really helped me
feel safe and took away some of my nerves. Sometimes
when I wasn't around, Lisa and her dad came by
to pick her stuff up. Lisa and Jen have had
a couple of major fights, but Jen made it so
I happened to never be around for most of them.
Lisa and her friends are giving me a hard time,
(05:18):
sending hurt full text messages, and I just don't know
how to deal with that. What the heck, What the heck?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
This is weird? This is weird.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Lisa has been switching between calling me a loser for
living with Jen and asking me for a second chance.
Really what really super different approaches, and I don't think
you can do both of them at the same time.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
You can't say you're a loser, give me a second
chance of the same.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Loser, give me a second chance. I am never getting
back together with her. I don't love her anymore. I
have succeeded in avoiding anyone on ones with Lisa, but
I'm eventually going to have to talk to her. Lisa
has been living with her dad. He's tried to mediate,
but that was not accepted by me. Jen's stance is
what whether I live here or not. Her daughter is
(06:02):
not invited to live at home. Her actions are disgusting
and she needs severe and permanent consequences. She told me
that she still loves Lisa, but not the person she
has become. I want to continue to live here for
the time being. I sleep in the old office which
is now my room, and our old room is now
the study. It's the only home I've ever had, and
Jen is my best friend. A lot of people in
(06:24):
my life think I'm responsible for Lisa being punted out.
That's what got me questioning myself. Did I take her
home away? Am I the a hole if I continue
to live with my ex's mom?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
And there is an update real quick clarifying he started
living with Jin and Lisa and his mom passed away.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
M hm, okay, grandsather passed away.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Grandmother passed away. That is the one who's take care
of him. Yes, I don't think you living with Gin
is a bad thing. I don't see this as abnormal,
but it is a bad thing if it's to the
point where you're like twenty seven, you have a full
time job and you're living with Gin. At that point,
it's out. But it's sort of like a kid moving
out from their home.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, I think that you should. I don't think you
should live there forever. Yes, I think that you have
a very special relation. Like normally, if this was just
your ex'es mom, I'd be like no, like this is
completely inappropriate, But this is basically your mom. She's raised
you since you were thirteen, basically, or maybe a little
(07:24):
bit after, like whenever your grandmother's be But yeah, she's
been around since you were thirteen, has raised you for
considerable time. This is a different relationship. However, I think
you should probably start Oh he's twenty two, by way,
but I think you should probably start trying to see
if you can find a new place to live. But
I don't think that you have to rush out of there, no,
because she cleterarally doesn't think you have to rush out.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Of there, get your feet on.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
But I think one you gotta start working on finding
a place, and two got to work on finding new friends.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, because there's definitely a lot of code dependency here.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
There's so much codependency. I don't think your ex's mom
should be your best friend.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Whoa could be a mom?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, but I think you can motherly relationship with her.
But I think that you should absolutely work on finding
new friends.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
So a lot of people marry that, or a lot
of people marry their best friends.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Nice. But there's an update, folks.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I never really understood that I married my best friend.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah, my friend Isabella. She's like, if you ever say
that I'm gonna be so upset with you because she's
my best friend. She's like, you can't went like in
your vows. You can't say I'm marrying my best friend.
Don't don't you dare.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Like I don't one of your best friend. I want
to be your boyfriend. I want to be your lover,
you know, like best friend.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yay, bestI I don't mind being like best friend. Well,
I have a lot of us friends. Update A lot happened.
A few days after my post. Lisa came by. We
talked just the two of us for the first time
since she was punted out. She started off by apologizing,
but immediately tried to shift blame on me and then
her mom. Then she asked if she could have a
(08:51):
second chance. I said no. And then she asked if
I was sleeping with her mom. Fair, honestly, fair question.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
We're all asking that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I said no, that she is the only person I
have ever been intimate with, and that Jen was basically
my mom. Then she said, say you're still in love
with me with a smugness that drove me insane. I
remember exactly what I told her. I don't love you
the second I found out you cheated on me, it disappeared,
and that I would rather drink three leaders of elephant
(09:21):
piss every day for the rest of my life before
I would get back together with you.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Some would you rather really do bother me? They became real. Yikes.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
She slapped me and then went to the backyard and
had it out with Jen. Yikes, she cheated on you,
and she's upset. She's upset that you don't love her
still after she cheated on you.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Also, girl, whenever elephant takes a piss, how many leaders
is it?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yeah? Because do you have to He's gonna be drinking
a lot of pea?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yeah? Is it like one leader you have to go
to seat the elephant three times a day? Or is
it all in one go and you just have that
leader you take down for the rest of the day.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
He's got one of those camel backpacks.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Mmmm. Can you batch up and get a weekly back?
I'm sorry so off to the point.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
She said some of the most vile things I've ever
heard in my life. Why is she so awful? If
her mom is so great, why is she so awful?
I won't write it down and I definitely won't speak
it to her mom. It was disturbing. Then Jen, in
a very calm voice, said that she was no longer
her daughter and told her she was trespassing and to
get out. Lisa looked shocked and then stormed off. The
(10:23):
second Lisa left, Jen had a meltdown. It lasted hours.
I was pissed off at Lisa. She confided to me
that she hates her daughter now and doesn't want a
relationship with her anymore. I love that.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Also, we have some information on left and pissing. Oh yeah, oh, I.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Don't love that.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
The internet's full of crazy stuff and this one's pretty mundane.
So on average, per day, it's fifty leaders per time
is about ten leaders. That's three gallons.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Okay, so that's ten leaders is three days worth. So
if you just catch them at one time when they go,
when you got three days worth, you only have to
see I'm just worried about how many times a week
you have to see the elephant.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
She started going to the therapy.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
So that's actually not so many, that's less. It's like
you have to see the elephant twice a week.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Basic, Okay, it's not make sure sure, yep, I'm just
she started going to therapy and told me around two
weeks ago that she's disowning Lisa and it's what's best
for her mental health. That a therapist said she can
still love her daughter and not want anything to do
with her.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Wow, that's like, Wow, what made her into this person?
Why does she have this much resist Well, she.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Has her dad, so maybe it's like her dad is
not great. But that's an intense reaction. I feel like,
as a parent, I would want Yeah, and thirteen says
she must have said some horrible things. She must have
because I'm thinking, I'm like, what would she have to
say for her mom to disown her? Yeah, Like I
would want to have more conversations with my daughter before
(11:51):
I like jumped straight to disowning.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Well, she did mention early on that her and Lisa
would fight a lot without Ope being around. Yeah, so
there's probably been some resentment on that end. She probably
has a more maternal thing for Opie than she does
the daughter, and she's like, I can just be a
mother to op instead of my daughter.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy. I've been supporting her the
best I can. I like being helpful. Lisa made less
and less attempts to contact me. She's living with her dad.
Five days ago, I got a text from Lisa's best friend,
let's call her Kate. She was one of a few
of Lisa's friends who didn't pester me and actually picked
me in the breakup. We've talked a few times since
the breakup. To console me. She asked if she could
(12:34):
come by with some of Lisa's friends so they can apologize.
I was apprehensive, but this woman is a straight shooter
and I was curious. So they came by and Kate
said thank you for letting them come over. Then the
other three women each took turns apologizing to me.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Oh nice.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Then they apologized to Jen for everything. Then they dropped
a bom. They didn't know she was cheating. Apparently Lisa
had been telling people that she only cheated because I
was with her mom and that's why she was punted out.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Oh my gosh, she's a liar. I was wondering, why
are all these friends horrible and believing it. Yeah, this
kind of person and these kind of things, This makes
so much sense. I still kind of believe a little.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Bit, but I still do. I asked why they thought
I would ever do something like that, and why they
were apologizing now. They said it was easier to think
I was a cheater than their best friend was a
lying seaward their word, not mine. They told me they
had cut her out. I must have looked like I
didn't believe them, So they all showed me their text
messages to Lisa and their social media. It seemed really
(13:37):
important to them that I believe them, and yeah, they
definitely did. They were not gentle about it, to say
the least.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
It is a tiny bit crazy that they went out
of their way to show how aggressively they caught out
this woman.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I don't blame them, though, Yeah, because of a friend
of mine. Let's say let's say a friend of mine
you cheated on someone and I went to them and
was like, I can't believe you cheated on Sophia and
did all these things whenever you were lying. Yeah, I
would definitely go to them and be like, yo, show
that's I doubt that.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean like that's I wouldn't want
to be friends with that person after that.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Honestly, there should be more friends like this where they
go out and they clue their names like that, yeah, or.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Like I also like understand their friends, because if one
of my friends said, yeah, they cheated on me, I'd
be like, well, you're my friends, so I want to
believe you, and I mean clearly. Ope, he didn't see
this coming, so it makes sense that they wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah, of course she had everybody fooled, but UH was
a little bit left.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I accepted their apology. Mostly they all left, but Kate, Kate,
and Jen went to the backyard. I don't know what
they talked about, but they were both smiling when they
came back. I thanked Kate for setting them straight and
being on my side throughout the breakup. She said she
was just following her moral compass. I'm doing much better
now and I don't plan on moving out until the
time is right for Jen and me. Jen has become
(14:58):
my best friend and we support each other. This relationship
is still a little bit weird to me. I have
a routine I follow that really helps. Also, I started
sleeping better.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Wonder and that's the end of that story. I wonder
why you started sleeping better?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
No, Riley, No, but uh oh p, I think you
know you didn't do anything wrong. You have a really
close relationship with your ex's mom, so it makes sense
that you're to stay living with her, But I think
I think the goal should be to find some more
friends your age. Yeah, you know, we go basically your.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Mom or other adults that aren't your ex's mom or
that or that.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I have friends that are forty in up that I
hang out with on a weekly basis.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Are they your ex'es mom?
Speaker 3 (15:43):
No? Yeah, they're basketball players.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
That makes sense.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Yeah, okay, James are Dwayne Q.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
It's not really the age, honestly, it's just the fact
the relationship that they have, you know, it's like, that's
basically your mom and also that's your ex's mom. I
feel like we could branch out a little. But there
is another story, folks.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
My girlfriend is alone with another guy at two in
the morning.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
That's suspicious.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
I twenty nine mal had plans to hang out with
my girlfriend, twenty five female after her class tonight around
nine to ten pm. So I text her something nice
around that time to let her know I was thinking
of her and see when she would be done. No response.
She texts me hi A couple hours later, I respond, Hey,
what's up. At this point, a little upset that she
(16:29):
had blown me off for hours past the time she
said she would hit me up after class. No response again,
this time for the rest of the night. By the way,
this comes from Ace Jackson and if you want to
spit your own stories, go to the ar slash Okay
story times. So I read it. So I was starting
to get worried because I know she leaves campus late
and it could be sketchy in that area. Sometimes. I
(16:49):
texted her and call her a couple more times, no response.
At this point, I'm definitely worried and text her I'm
gonna stop by to make sure she's all good. She's
a girl and lives alone and just about five minutes
away from me. So I swing by and all the
lights are on. I'll walk up to the front door
and knock. She comes out looking surprised, steps outside oddly
(17:12):
m I say, what's up. I was worried you weren't okay.
I never heard back from you, and you kind of
bailed on our plants. She then says, oh, sorry, I've
been hanging out with some friends from school, So I ask,
is someone in there right now? She tries to casually
play it off. There was a guy from class over.
We've been hanging out talking about our class. Mind you
(17:35):
it's two am.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Oh come on, girl, you blow off your plans with
your partner to hang out with a guy from your
class until two am, and then you we're gonna lie
about it. You literally said, oh, yeah, I'm hang out
with friends from class, and Opie says, is someone there now?
And she's like, oh yeah, like a guy from my class.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Two things that I've seen right now. One, yeah, he
asked to hang out. Usually, if you're dating, you're like, oh,
I'm just gonna come over by this. I don't really ask,
so it's early on in the relationship. My second question
is how or I guess My first question is how
long have you guys been together? Good question, because it
was three months. You might be the other fella I feel.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Like then maybe I feel like that guy inside wouldn't
be like, hey, who's talking to you?
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Maybe? But if she's good at this, she can handle
on her own. She knows how to juggle. She then
asked me to come in, and if I want to
meet him, I say yes, I come in and meet
this guy who looks a bit startled and dreuce myself,
and then they start catching me up on what they
were talking about my girlfriend is acting pretty odd, like
super casual that the fact I just showed up at
(18:39):
one thirty in the morning after she's been ignoring me,
and there's some random guy I don't know there. She's
acting like a snow big deal. Within twenty minutes, I
decide I'm going home and ask her to walk me out.
I then ask her to make the guy leave, because
there's no reason he should be there so late. She
says no, we were in the middle of a conversation.
I try to explain to her that this isn't cool
(19:00):
with me and makes me uncomfortable, and she doesn't seem
to care one bit. She says, I'm not gonna argue
with you about this while someone is right here. We
can talk tomorrow, and then walks back inside. I try
not to make a scene and be respectful of her
house while still letting her know it wasn't cool. Am
I crazy or are those serious red flags? And am
(19:24):
I being naive here? I have to talk to her
tomorrow and I'm not sure how to approach this. Keon, Sophia,
what are we doing? Hmmm? Break up? Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Yeah? Yeah? She respected me?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, and she lied about it.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
I caught you and you're still going to play this.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Off alone with a guy that is in a class
with her until two am, and then she lied about it.
And the real kicker is that she blew off plans
to do.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Yes, it was like not one strike, not two strike.
It was like three.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Strikes in one night. Yeah, five strikes in one night.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yeah, we're breaking up. We got an update. This all
happening a couple of days, but for what would have
been annas.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, so they're like a year at least.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Dang, that's rough one month.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
That's true, I guess.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Anniversary.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah, I don't know. I didn't celebrate any anniversaries, and well,
I don't know, but I feel like some people celebrate
like one month, two months. I didn't have any intention
to that.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Oh that's like high school kind of level.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Okay, well I didn't do that, So you're.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Well, I'm just saying I'm mature.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Yeah, I'm so much.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I did six months to Angie Owen and I little
that makes sense. Yeah, I'm like, we did it.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, we did it. We made it to six months.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I obviously should have seen the signs from the first post,
but the first part of this update and you guys know,
I initially did not end the relationship. What a regret. Yeah,
how I handled it was. We met the next morning
to talk and I let her explain her side of things.
She explained that other people were at the house that
night earlier, and she was going to be hanging around
(20:59):
with kids from class sometimes now that school has started.
Keep in mind, she's twenty five going back to school now,
and most of these kids are nineteen to twenty two.
Nothing super serious as far as class load is concerned.
She's studying theater at the community college. Sofia, you are
so into this, But what does that mean? If you're
(21:19):
studying theater at community college and you're twenty five talking
to twenty two year old boys? Does that mean?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Well, the theater at a community college at twenty five
is fine. That part's fine.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Yeah, but I'm saying I need, you know, nineteen year
old boys or whatever. What kind of class project are
you doing at you know, at two o'clock in the
morning with it none? None, You're you're smooching, smooching, you're
speechin to, you're practicing your kiss scenes. Yeah, yeah, I
use the date of theater, chick. Will we be hanging
out till two o'clock in the morning. That's so, I
love that for your homework. And then the next year
(21:50):
classes got serious. I was hanging out with my friend
Daniel Cox till two o'clock in the morning, running papers.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Okay, but.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Okay, I just I still had the from the theater. She
but I was just writing papers. I wasn't hanging out
with her anymore. Like school got serious a serious. Yeah,
it's because that stupid film professor. His name was mister Hollywood. No,
his name was mister Hollyfield.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Hollyfield.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Interesting Hollywood. Yeah, it was right. His favorite movie was
RoboCop because of the clamation they had in that movie. Yeah,
I better start talking about him. He's gonna watch this
one day. I explained to her why all the signs
point to that being a major fred flag. She somewhat
hears me out and apologizes for not better communicating her
plans that night, but defends herself that hanging out with
(22:36):
friends from class is not wrong, so in the future
she would be communicating better about her plans and do
a better job not making me feel concerned. I was
obviously angry and upset about this previous situation, but I
truly love this girl and was willing to give things
a chance to progress forward and her show me the
positive changes. We had continued our relationship and it was
(23:00):
going good for the most part. Then recently communication did
not seem to be going the best, and there were
some signs that she wasn't giving as much effort into
the things we spoke about before as she had promised
to do. There were signs of her actually trying to
pick fights and prepared to waiting them longer than needed,
even when I had made attempts to reconcile and move
(23:21):
forward from any arguments. Sounds like she's looking for an out.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, dude, this doesn't seem like she wants to be
in this relationship.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
I did feel heavily at this time that she was
not respecting me in these conversations, and any attempts I
made to lovingly let her know this was met with hostility,
which she then would attempt to turn right back on
me like it was my fault the fight even happened.
This was getting old, but I was still making every
(23:48):
effort to bring us back to a good space on
a more everyday basis because I was wildly in love
with this girl and the connection I thought we shared.
The deceiving thing was is that she was also very
good at making me feel at other times she felt
the same way about me. You're the love of my life.
(24:10):
I love you more than anything. Future plans together, talking
about how lucky she was to be with me, et cetera.
These were all exploited to be absolute lies. Fast forward
to a few nights ago. We had plans to hang
out that night, and when I asked her earlier in
the day what she wanted to do, she told me
(24:31):
she actually agreed to go get sushi with a friend
she hadn't seen a while.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Hm, which friend?
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah, what's his name?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Friend? When don't you get in sushi? You gotta get
sushi at two in the morning.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Yeah, they don't.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
They're not open at that time.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
What's going on there?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
The fisher are sleeping?
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yeah? I want sushi.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Oh no, you've done OPI. I let her know this
upset me, since she was bailing on her plans, but
it attempts to understanding. I then suggest we just meet
up after instead and go out that night to do
something fun. She did not give me a definite answer,
but kept bouncing around the subject, saying she would keep
me updated on when she was finished. I let her know, hey,
(25:14):
don't cancel plans with your boyfriend. Then, when he's cool
about it and tries to suggest something else, leave him
up in the air, saying maybe we can hang It
makes me feel like not a priority and isn't how
you treat someone you love. She ends up going off
on me again and we leave on the terms of Okay,
we'll just talk later. I call later and let her
(25:35):
know that after dinner it would mean a lot if
we could spend some time together. I had been wanting
that since all the time we were hanging out was
during the day with other stuff going on. Sometimes she
calls me after dinner around nine thirty pm and lets
me know she's home. I asked her to come hang
out so we can figure out what to do. Then
she deflects with, oh, my other friend girl who I know,
(25:59):
wanted to go to a midnight showing of a movie
tonight and I haven't seen her in so long.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Mm hmmm a midnight showing, So what time are you
getting back? Two in the morning.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I know I may seem completely stupid to you guys
at this point, but I assure you. I was already
seeing through a BS and knew something wasn't right. I
kept calm, just let her know I think that's messed up,
bums me out, and that I wish she would at
least try to include me with her friends when doing
stuff like this. She then takes to the level of
trying to make me feel bad that I can't just
(26:32):
be understanding and maybe she wants to go out with
her friends without me.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Sometimes I literally don't trust this woman at all.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
No, I don't either a movie trust Also, fun fact,
movies have really good cameras inside them, So whatever you
do in movies all recorded. Keon, yeah, keon, I don't mind.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yeah, no, OPI your girlfriend is like obviously lying to
you and she thinks you're dumb.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Maria says, hey, uh, one movie you gonna go see?
What time about theater? Great? I'm gonna go watch on
the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Well, I feel like every time a Pie says like, hey, yeah,
I'd love to hang out, she's like, you're not. No,
Like I can't hang out with my friends alone. Like
I feel like she makes this big deal out of.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Everything she does.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Yeah, really weird, super suspicious.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
It is she tells me she will call me after
the movie and asks if she can come over and
spend the night with me after it's finished. Meanwhile, I
knew I had friends going out that night as well,
and I could grab some drinks with them, finish her
up around the same time, and then meet back at
my house to spend the night together. I did not
tell her I was going out because it did not
seemed relevant at the time, and I had some weird
(27:39):
suspicions that maybe something else was going on. One forty
five am rolls around and I'm leaving the bar with
some friends to go grab a burrito before heading home.
I walk down the street and lo and behold, there
she is on the corner of the street standing with
a guy.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Yikes. Also, she was planning at coming over to your
house out like when two.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
In the morning, three in the morning, because that guy's
probably gonna stay call her out and one, and.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
She had plans to come hang out with you that night.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
One of the same guys from that night at the
house in my original post. Shocker, I know, So it
was the same dude.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Oh so there were multiple people at her house.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Yeah, but there was probably one dude there who knows
she might like more than one seems like it.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Amy Lynn says she's pregas lighting him so that he'll
be more accepting when she calls him controlling.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Ooh, pregas lighting? What do you call that? What? Preheating?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Pre heating?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
We can ad that to the book. Yes, yes, that's
his book. I confront her and ask her what's going on.
She attempts to even further lie, explain how her girlfriend
was supposed to come like that makes it any better?
Is it what it looks like? Blah blah blah blah blah.
Some old bs lies and no accountability. When even caught
in a dead lie on a date with another guy.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Where's the movie?
Speaker 3 (29:01):
How even was the movie?
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Sit? Outdoor movie?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
H I turned to the guy and ask him what's
going on. He explains he invited her to the movies.
Now much else kind of looks scared because I'm sure
I was. I rate. I have no problem with them
at all, because it's one hundred percent my then girlfriend's fault.
He's probably like, tell to me straight, buddy. And plus
this guy's probably like twenty and he's twenty nine. Twenty oh,
(29:27):
he's thirty five. I think so no, no, no, he's twenty nine.
A girlfriend's twenty five. Girlfriends Oh, you're right, were right? Okay, sorry,
so he's probably twenty nine dude being like.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Yo, hey, why are you with my girlfriend? Bud? What
are you doing with my girlfriend? He's like, oh, we're
going to a movie.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I walked to the other side with her and ask
her to be real with me for once, tell me
what's going on and to come to terms with who
she is and what she's done here. She shuts down
when she realizes she can't talk her way out of things,
and tries to ask if we can talk tomorrow and
not make a scene here. I tell her, if you
want to explain yourself, well, then you can't leave right now,
(30:02):
and I will at least hear you out. She says, No,
I'm not leaving my friend here alone. You were overreacting
and it's not as bad as it looks.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I would immediately break up. I'd be like, okay, all right, cool,
get right with your friend. Yeah, yep, I'm not leaving
my friend here. What do you mean I'm not leaving
my friend here?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Huh. Even though I'm pretty hard at this point, I
can't help but to bust out and laughter at the
disbelief of the whole thing. I tell her this is
it and the relationship is fully done now should have
been done a while ago, but that seals the deal,
and I truly see you for who you are now,
a lying, manipulative, actual sociopath. I left with my friends,
(30:40):
blocked her on everything, and am now moving forward for good.
I do want to say, though I made huge mistake
in this whole scenario, but not leaving when my gut
told me to. So many signs pointed to her being
so fake, such a liar, and not trustworthy at all.
But I let the good times under manipulative words keep
me around, thinking that I just needed to make more
(31:04):
effort myself to make things work. I will say, maybe
you can relate to this. Whenever relationships don't seem to
be working, what it feels like you need to pour
more work into them instead of them easily just flowing
together and just working.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Yeah, yeah, you're trying to solve problems, and you're trying
to solve problems and then ever go away. Yeah, I mean,
I think there are always going to be hard things
in a relationship. But if you're not seeing that work
being done on both ends, then it's probably not a
relationship that's going to work out.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Yeah. Yeah, I will say being with Angie, it doesn't
feel like work at all at any point there. I mean,
like we talk about things and everything, but it doesn't
feel like I have to pour work into it. It
just happens.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah, because well you have two hands holding it up, yeah,
rather than just one person being like yeah and the
other person being like stomping on it.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Yeah. And I have been in relationships where I putting
in a lot of work and stuff. Does it seem
to be doing anything?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Back to the story. Even though I said I was
very hurt by being deceived and catching someone cheat on me,
I ultimately know it's one hundred percent for the best
and a huge blessing in disguise because this person actually
truly never loved me the way I cared for them.
Who knows how much longer I would have to be
stuck around and let myself be treated like this. I
am grateful it happened now, and there is no chance
(32:20):
in heck I would give her a second chance. Sorry
for the novel, feels good event much love edit. I
really appreciate all the positive response and feedback. At two
for people responding thinking I was making assumptions about the
situation I walked upon that night and defending that it
could have just been a friend, let me explain that
there was no way. It was not what it looked like.
(32:42):
I did not include the whole dialogue exchange between us,
but the guy did make it clear he was under
impression that they were on a date, which is when
I walked away, because it most definitely contradicted her whole
made up story. Yeah, dang, you will find you're a
queen obe rough Rough.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Yeah, I mean if he thought it was a date,
it was a date. Yeah, yeay, Rough, And I'm sorry,
and you'll find someone better who treats you right.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
Agreed. Agreed. Yeah, that's out there. Oh god, this is crazy.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
But that is the end of that story. And we've
got another one.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Folks. Hey, it's Sam.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
My long distance girlfriend slept over with another guy.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
I think we can increase the distance.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
My girlfriend, twenty eight female, and I, twenty nine male,
have been together for over a year and a half.
Now we are doing long distance and only see each
other about three times a year, usually a month and
a half a visit. Oh wow, this girl has been
my world and has significantly influenced my outlook on life.
I never knew I could love a person this much.
(33:50):
I guess this is why I'm so conflicted. I simped
hard for her. Although we have our ups and downs,
our relationship is generally great and I've had the best
moments in my life spent with her. By the way,
this comes from Adventurous EBB eighty and if you want
to spit your own stories, go to the R size. Okay,
story time suburden. The following happened in sequence and a
(34:12):
span of the last month and a half issue number one.
She has this guy best friend who flew where she
lives to attend a love concert with her. What's a
love concert?
Speaker 2 (34:24):
A love song concert?
Speaker 3 (34:25):
A love song concert? I don't know, same thing. They
live in the same country. He then proceeded to rent
an expensive sports car to bring my girlfriend out for
a fancy launch and dinner, and then the love song concert.
She then brings him home for a sleepover. He is
not attracted to the same gender. I'll due the perception
(34:48):
on that. So he's gay, he's not.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
He's not gay.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Oh he's not gay. Not gay?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah, dude, he rented an expensive car to take her
off to lunch. Bro, that doesn't look great. Why did
he need to do that?
Speaker 3 (35:05):
She told me about it a week before the event, saying, hey,
I'm going to the concert with him. He's crashing into
my place. No that, she only told me that she
was going to do it and never bothered to ask
if I'd be okay with it. Fun fact, if you
rent an expensive sports car, you can also rent a
hotel for the night. Huh.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I okay, I don't think that. I Like, I literally
just stayed with one of my friends. I don't think
that staying with your friends is inherently not okay. But
I think the renting the sports car to take her
out to lunch and dinner suspicious. Yeah, that's the suspicious
thing to me.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
I see, this is the perfect scenario. Is Sofia and
I's relationship. Okay, Angie knows about it, she knows Sofia,
She's cool with Sofia, all this stuff. So if I
take Sofia to dinner, it's just like LI and so
Finner are gonna go get sushi, you know, that's it.
But I'm not gonna get a fancy sports car and
(36:02):
drive Sofia along. That would be weird, and go to
a love concert with you, that would be weird.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I will actually have like a pretty good example, like
this past week, I was in Chicago visiting my friend.
My friend has a partner and was like, hey, just
like if you could make my partner comfort who I
haven't met before, like just make And I was staying
with him and they were like, make make my partner comfortable,
just like you know, you know, be who you are already,
but just you know, to be open and honest and.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, be Sofia, you know, yeah, give her that vibe.
It makes sense.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
But I think it is absolutely fair to be like,
I want to make my partner comfortable because this person
is coming who I don't know. So I don't think
it is inherently cheating to have at all, because I
just did that, to have a person come over who's
an opposite gender or whatever and stay at your house.
But I think adding the other stuff it gets a
(36:54):
little suspicious. I don't think it's just you know, it's
proof yet, but it is suspicious not fun.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
At this point, I'm super uncomfortable, especially with a lack
of respect from both of them, like do I even exist?
Neither of them thought that I her boyfriend might not
be okay with their special day and a sleepover. So yeah,
I was clearly uncomfortable with it, and she could tell.
But I did not want to get in between their friendship,
so I held it in. Since then, I've tried talking
(37:23):
to her about how troubled I was by it, and
every time I did, she flipped things on me, like
saying I don't make enough money and I don't update
her enough when I'm at the gym, And every time
I end up apologizing and promising him to do better
for her. She only addresses my concerns with stuff like, yeah,
he's a friend, I'm no one for ages. I did
(37:44):
not cheat on you. I can't change the past.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
What do you mean you can't change the past.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
She never showed genuine empathy for the pain she caused me,
never saying things like I'm so sorry, I will never
do that again. Her apologies always seemed to have an
annoyed That's the thing.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
It's like she's not attempting to make ope comfortable at all. Again,
totally could be totally patonic, but like, introduce your partner
to this person, Yeah, make an effort. If this is
your best friend or like a close friend, and you are,
you know, care about your partner, then let's make an effort.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Also love song concert interesting. She had tears in her eyes,
sigh eyed me, and said, hardy told you that I'm
sorry this happened in person. She's now visiting me in
my country.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Oh issue one rant?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Oh issue one rant.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Okay, so we're still on issue one, but there's kind
of a talkback about got it.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
She posted a story with the guy best friend publicly,
and I caught a glimpse of her phone. It took
selfies together. Right now, She's visiting me in my country
and has never taken a single selfie of us together
nor posted a story with me in it. I confronted
her about this and her response was him and I
don't see each other often, And I was thinking, WTF,
(38:57):
what about us? We are literally doing long distance and
they don't see each other at Alton either.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Mmm.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
She also tends to compare my capabilities to the guy
best friends. Bro, you're the side. Man.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Oh, yikes, yikes, yikes, yikes. I don't like this one bit.
She's just she's s gaslighting you. She's putting the blame
on you for different things so that you forget that
you're supposed to be upset about what she's doing.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
She puts me down and puts him on a pedestal.
He is rich.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, well, he rented a nice car for her.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
So issue number two. She regularly complains that I do
not provide for her during her current visit. Now, I
spent hours on consecutive days, including my workdays, driving her
around and helping her move stuff. She was unappreciative of
my efforts and only thank me whenever I asked for one.
We discussed the provide matters seriously, and I laid out
(39:49):
everything I could provide. She cried, saying, this is nothing
life I want. Okay, I've been here, collar wraps, I've
been here, callar wraps. You don't have to. If what
you bring to enough, call it he wraps.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Yeah. I mean if she's complaining, she's saying this is
not what I wanted, then okay, yeah bye.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I was literally in a car conversation for two hours
straight talking my ex telling me that I'm never going
to provide enough for her in the life that she wants.
I should have just called her wraps in. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
I mean, if they're saying that, go find someone else.
There is a difference between saying, Hey, this is what
I want for a life, let's build towards there, and
saying you don't. You're not providing me what I want
right now, You yourself cannot provide me what I want
to week, why are you? Why are we together? Then?
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Yes, she says that just my time and effort is
not enough, basically saying I need to spend more money
on her. I guess after all this, I broke down,
crying like I've never seen before, sobbing like a little witch.
Tiered for days, I thought to myself that she was
not the same person I love so dearly. I felt
I have once again let myself down, and after a
(40:56):
few days of not talking, I made up my mind
to end things. Break up with Tim. I expressed that
I don't feel appreciated and lack of respect from her
and her guy best friend or a deal breaker from me.
She's thought the extent of it and finally became more
apologetic this time, she convinced me to give the relationship
another go, and I reluctantly did. No Issue number three,
(41:19):
we traveled to Korea. I was using her phone to
take a photo of her and a message came from
the guy best friend. He called her babe. I confronted
her about it and asked if she calls him babe too.
She told me that she does, tells me it doesn't
mean anything. It really got me uncomfortable, especially after the
breakup attempt happened. She clearly knows the extent of it
(41:40):
all and still receives babe messages from him. But once
again I held it in cuz we're on a holiday.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Dude, you're too forgiving about this.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Sophia and I don't have. The nickname I have for
Sophia is Soap.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
I call her Soap, not Riley, Riley, not babe, not nope,
you know whatever those names are, it's so Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I call Riley Gurley. Yeah. That's that's the extent of
our nicknames. See if she had been like, oh, we
say love you, blah blah blah, I'd be like, yeah,
that's fair. I do that with all my guy friends. Babe,
I don't do that. No, No, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
So here I am. Our relationship has rekindled after the
Korea trip, but I am still constantly thinking about the
deal breakers and her behavior towards it all. I don't
think I can look past them.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
Don't look past them, look at them. Stop looking past them,
look right at them.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
The ovens on, don't worry about the ovens being on.
Ovens on. Go turn it off, Go turn it off.
In the past, I've always promised that I do better
for our future, But after what happened with the guy
best friend, I don't feel like I want to work
harder for her in particular anymore. Please write it. This
is my first time posting here as I'm mega conflicted.
(42:58):
What would you do? Giving my situation? I need some advice.
I'm not afraid of being alone or unable to find
someone else. I'm just afraid of losing this particular girl.
Update Obi, what's the hardest thing to do? Ask yourself
that question, and that's what you got to do.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
I mean, you just got to leave her.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
When would you have left?
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Wait, earlier, when, like exactly at the rental of the thing.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
No, I wouldn't. I would have had a conversation. Okay,
I would have said, hey, it made me feel really uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
And then wait, what about what about the point when
they started comparing.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
Yeah, then the one where what was the one she
said she was like.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
You don't make as much as he. Yeah, he's a
better man than you.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
I'd be like, Okay, you go date him. Yeah, that's
that's where I'm like, once you start comparing me to
other people that you clearly have this weird relationship with
why are we together?
Speaker 3 (43:49):
We're done? We are done, Carly, when what if you
have left?
Speaker 2 (43:53):
I didn't hear any of the story.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
I just got here, Wow, look at that or Jasian
car really how to produce? Everyone watching? Uh, she's gonna
do a great job. And she did come in mid episode.
But that's okay because put her on the spot. We're
putting her on the spot, We're teaching her. Okay. Update,
Hey John Ogi, hoist here.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick
three minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the
show alive.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
This all happened on the same night of the original post.
I really appreciate the comments in my previous posts, both
negative and positive. I generally want to take on this
situation with as many perspectives as I can brain that said,
this is going to disappoint most of you.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Oh no, are you staying together?
Speaker 3 (44:33):
They're staying together?
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Why you literally spent this whole thing being like, I
think I should break up with her.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
He's staying still here. Yeah, well he's staying together because,
like he you're afraid.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
You're afraid, You're afraid.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
I could not break up once again. I couldn't bring
myself to in things with her. I initiated a second
breakup last night and we ended up having a super
long talk and everything we spoke until the next day's afternoon.
She's clearly in distress and is fining to keep this
relationship alive, fighting very hard. She's not And it feels
like a like a whenever people are trying to get
(45:07):
off of drugs, like relapse in a way. Yeah, this
feels like he's relapsing.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yeah, it's like, well, well, I guess she said she's sorry.
I tried to break them back. It's like, no, I
tried to break up.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
The girls said she is, well, she.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Feel really bad. I guess I can't wake up. But huh,
Wily bad h guy best friend.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
No. She was persistent and reassuring me about the guy
best friend, saying that their relationship is entirely platonic. There
is one way to test this, Sophia. How do you
test this to make sure that this guys can platonic?
How do you test this multiple twice? No? But like,
how would you test this?
Speaker 2 (45:48):
I don't know how.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
Okay, you're gonna call the guy best friend you girlfriend,
and say, hey, I want to come over. Could we
maybe do something saucy later?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Trap trap them? You got, that's the only one.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Oh, drap right? Yeah? Super healthy.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
If he says you know you're with someone, or you
know I only like you as a friend, there you go.
But he says, yeah, come on over, I'm on over.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
I want some kiddles. Yeah, then you know, I don't
think that's the healthiest way. I think you should just
break up.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
She insists that nothing happened during the sleepover. They were
in separate rooms, and she did a video call me
before bed that night, as she always does. You can
end the call and go into his room after that.
That's how that works. True. She admitted she didn't realize
how much the whole slipover thing bothered me and obviously
would never do that again. She got canted. As for
(46:42):
the babe messages, she explained that they've been calling each
other that since they're were fourteen. She also mentioned to
stop calling him babe. Gosh, I hate the word babe.
Now she has also pulled back on her communication with
him overall fin actual expectations. We also have to realize
that they're in a log disc relationship.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
I forgot about that.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
That.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
Yeah, that's important. Well, that's why I think even more so,
you need like communication and to make sure that you're
not like pushing beast these boundaries, because it is so
easy to do that when you're in a long distance
relationship because there's no one there that you're like necessarily
think about twenty four to seven because you're not seeing them,
you know, all the time.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
She told me her love for me has no financial
requirements and that her expectations are more about building a
future together. However, she wants a partner with a provider mindset.
That's the most doublius.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
She apologizes to you and saying this to you right now,
like it's still a backhanded apology, Like she's still you know,
apologizing but then accusing you yes, or you know, pointing
out your faults yes.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
While I'm essentially doing that now, I do feel like
her expectations are high. She denies compare me to him,
but honestly, I could say there was some low key
comparison at the very least my conflicted feelings. The general
tone of the conversation was heard desperately trying to make
this work while I kept giving myself reasons to part ways.
(48:10):
Her effort and emotional investments make me feel incredibly conflicted.
On one hand, I don't know if I can truly
move past everything and give this relationship a proper go.
On the other hand, I can tell she genuinely loves
me and is willing to change for the sake of
our future. But yeah, I'm mostly conflicted seeing how much
she wants to work things out. Conspiracy theory. I think
(48:33):
she wants to work things out because she knows she
can't be with that other guy.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Maybe yeah, because he is He's not around here either.
I think you could try if you want to, if
she really it seems like she really wants to work
it out. She has all of these explanations. I think
there might be like a couple of weeks where you
guys started try and work it out and it feels
a little bit better, and then it goes back to
the same thing it was, and then you know, by then, yeah,
(48:58):
probably best to break up.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
Yeah, I think with the guy friend, she realized like
she kind of I've seen her kind of turn here. Yeah,
well she's she's working harder for the relationship and not
really giving the big guy best friend a lot of things.
So she either really actually cares about the relationship or
she knows she can't be with other guy. Yeah, okay,
I'll give him some space. She still wants op to
(49:22):
be him.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Courtney
Electra says she wants to settle for someone she can
manipulate easily.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
And oh, that's a good point. I didn't think about that.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
Yeah, she's manipulated. He's trying to break up twice and
she's still yeah made it. Oh man, for now, I
have not officially ended things. She's packing her stuff, but
they're still at my place. She's right now flying to
another country for work for a week, so I'll have
some space and time to think things over, I guess.
Please be patient with me. I really do need more advice,
(49:55):
but first I'm gonna take a nap. Good night, read
it and thank you once again. Update number two, does
he pull the trigger?
Speaker 2 (50:02):
I think I think it's on the way. Maybe they'll
maybe they'll prove us wrong and they like have worked
this out and are gonna fix the relationship. But I
do think it's on the way right now. My guess
is it's on the way to break.
Speaker 3 (50:14):
Up if you're in a relationship and is exhausting and
it feels like yeah, and he so want.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Like he keeps saying, I want to break up with her, yeah, oh,
but she wants to work on it, So I feel
bad You want to break up with her?
Speaker 3 (50:24):
Yeah, and she doesn't love you for who you are?
Just yeah, move on?
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Daring is it's not great.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
It's been about four days since the last update. I've
been using this time and space apart from her, to
think deeply. This whole situation has consumed me, affecting every
aspect of my life. My diet is a mess, my
skin's breaking out. I can't focus on anything. It'd be
work or jim. I even curbed my will a full circle,
something I've never done before.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Britney be says, please end things. I wouldn't be surprised
if her friend was with her.
Speaker 3 (50:56):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
I think it's just long distance relationships to take like
ten times more work, and I feel like people get
complacent and they're like, oh, well, I don't actually have
to work that hard because I'm not seeing them all
the time. And it's like, no, you're not seeing them
all the time, so you need to put in the
effort to like make ways to like you know, or
(51:18):
just like make time for them.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
Yeah, make an effort. As I reflect, I'm starting to
understand the dynamics of a relationship more clearly. But the
more I know, the more it hurts, because everything is
leading me towards leading. She's been trying to reach while apart,
but I've only responded with I'm not ready to talk.
Her fly back from her work trip is tonight. I
think I know what needs to be done, but do
(51:41):
I really I still feel conflicted, especially when things get quiet.
I feel her influence within me, pulling me to reasons
to stay. One thing I can probably say, I'm lucky
to have real friends who are here for me a
few of you even personally drop me a message. I'm touched.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
I think go peet. My advice is, I don't think
that you are wrong for wanting to stay with her
and see if you know she is really you know, yeah,
gotta truly try and work on this relationship.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
Yeah, I do think.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
However, there is a very high chance that you're gonna
do that and realize that it's not working out.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
However much she's trying, it's not enough. Yeah, I think
that's a there's a big possibility on that.
Speaker 3 (52:25):
Yeah, it's not enough. It just you got to be
in a relationship where someone loves you for you are.
You don't have to you don't have to prove to
them because you're you, yourself is already proving. Now, that
doesn't give you an excuse to just be a lazy
crap piece of crap. But that's not where this is.
That's not the story.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
But that is the end of that story and the
end of this episode.
Speaker 3 (52:44):
So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
This is cole Minor, John, this is cole Minor Sale
And we have been digging for stories on the Okay
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Speaker 2 (00:18):
I'm living with my cheating ex's mom.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
It's our complicated living situation.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Hi, I'm twenty two. My ex twenty two female cheated
on me. Her mom punted her out. Her mom forty
three females said I could live in the house forever
if I wanted. Am I the a hole? If I stay.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Calling her right now?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
The mom wants you bad.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
She wants you bad. By the way, this comes from
cry Repulsive ninety four to forty nine, And if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash.
Okay Storytime suppered it. So I met my ex, let's
call her Lisa. So it's less intense for me. Writing
X is still a lot. You know, we met in
high school. We started dating when we were thirteen. It
was great her mom liked me, and I love Lisa.
(01:01):
She was funny, smart, and was gorgeous. She was a
gorgeous thirteen year old. We spent a lot of time
at her place because she was thirteen. Doi I was
so happy back then. I don't have parents, so I
lived with my grandma. But she was more than enough.
She was strong, funny in a crude way, lively, and
a straight up legend. I was seventeen when she passed
(01:23):
and I moved in with Lisa and her mom. I
was devastated, but they were very inviting. My relationship with
Lisa grew. It was amazing. They helped me through it.
Lisa was my rock. It was the three of us
since until now.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah, because she found another rock to sit on rhymes.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
With the rock whoa oh yikes. Every day was similar
after our high school graduation. Her mom would drop Lisa
off at university and then her mom, let's call her Jen,
writing her mom over and over and this rant will
be weird. Jen and I would go to work, we
work on the same street, and then we'd leave at
five pm and go home. Lisa would be home by then.
Then we'd eat dinner together.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Cute.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
It was like that for the last.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Two years, a little too cute.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I know for some that sounds boring, but I enjoy stability.
I was happy, and we were saving up money for
our own place, a good place. Jen never asked for end,
but she always took it because she knows how important
it is to me that I contribute. Lisa and Jen
were my family. I was gonna marry Lisa and Jen
was my best friend. I know it's weird that my
best friend is my ex girlfriend's mom.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Well, now that we understand living which she's basically your
mom yeah or.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Mommy iyeyy yi. I found out she was cheating on
me last month.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
She accidentally sent me a text that was clearly meant
for him. Ooh. I was devastated and started crying. It
was unbearable. Jen heard me. I showed her my phone
and she just helped me. Lisa came home and instead
of apologizing or making an excuse, she said, with venom,
I am a new man and a better man.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Pack up.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Oh wow, that's crazy. It repeats in my head most days.
Jen snap. There was screaming and swearing. Jen ended up
telling Lisa she had thirty minutes to back up. I
just hid in the office and locked the door. I
couldn't handle it. I was paralyzed in that one spot.
Lisa left about two hours later.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
What so, wow, I'm just confused. How Ope he yeah,
didn't see this common Yeah she said it with venom. Yeah,
wouldn't there be like something now you see it now different?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I don't know. I feel like this is not at
all like going to be excusing her of her behavior
because that's terrible. But I feel like she's been with
this guy for thirteen years.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
He started living with her because of, you know, some
loss of his grandmother.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
So okay, so they've been together for thirteen years, started
living with each other.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, well they haven't been together.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Thirteen years, I know, but like they started living to
each other. So like, yeah, they're really cool. What you're
saying is they're getting really close to one another.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I'm talking about Ope and his girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying too. Yeah, so like they've
been together, yeah for thirteen years, sort of living in
one another. There's just not a lot of separations exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, And so it gets it's like, how you know,
you got to present someone who you're constantly living with
then you know, you have no space from Yeah, and
she did the worst. You know she dealt with that
in the worst way possible by cheating on her partner.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yep, he likes to cuddle. He's like Sophia. He likes
to cuddle, but she likes to cuddle with somebody else. Yikes,
she's starting to do that. Like how did ope? He
thought this was here? But how do you not see
signs of it doing this?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I don't know. I don't know complacent, I don't know
cowboys God says. She accidentally sent him a text that
said you're so much better than my boyfriend. Probably, but
Jen held me and said, this is your home for
as long as you want. If you want to move,
I'll miss you, but you'll still be family. If you want,
you can stay forever.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
I know exactly how he held her to how she
held her.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Uh oh, yikes, Yice. Being told that really helped me
feel safe and took away some of my nerves. Sometimes
when I wasn't around, Lisa and her dad came by
to pick her stuff up. Lisa and Jen have had
a couple of major fights, but Jen made it so
I happened to never be around for most of them.
Lisa and her friends are giving me a hard time,
(05:18):
sending hurt full text messages, and I just don't know
how to deal with that. What the heck, What the heck?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
This is weird? This is weird.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Lisa has been switching between calling me a loser for
living with Jen and asking me for a second chance.
Really what really super different approaches, and I don't think
you can do both of them at the same time.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
You can't say you're a loser, give me a second
chance of the same.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Loser, give me a second chance. I am never getting
back together with her. I don't love her anymore. I
have succeeded in avoiding anyone on ones with Lisa, but
I'm eventually going to have to talk to her. Lisa
has been living with her dad. He's tried to mediate,
but that was not accepted by me. Jen's stance is
what whether I live here or not. Her daughter is
(06:02):
not invited to live at home. Her actions are disgusting
and she needs severe and permanent consequences. She told me
that she still loves Lisa, but not the person she
has become. I want to continue to live here for
the time being. I sleep in the old office which
is now my room, and our old room is now
the study. It's the only home I've ever had, and
Jen is my best friend. A lot of people in
(06:24):
my life think I'm responsible for Lisa being punted out.
That's what got me questioning myself. Did I take her
home away? Am I the a hole if I continue
to live with my ex's mom?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
And there is an update real quick clarifying he started
living with Jin and Lisa and his mom passed away.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
M hm, okay, grandsather passed away.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Grandmother passed away. That is the one who's take care
of him. Yes, I don't think you living with Gin
is a bad thing. I don't see this as abnormal,
but it is a bad thing if it's to the
point where you're like twenty seven, you have a full
time job and you're living with Gin. At that point,
it's out. But it's sort of like a kid moving
out from their home.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, I think that you should. I don't think you
should live there forever. Yes, I think that you have
a very special relation. Like normally, if this was just
your ex'es mom, I'd be like no, like this is
completely inappropriate, But this is basically your mom. She's raised
you since you were thirteen, basically, or maybe a little
(07:24):
bit after, like whenever your grandmother's be But yeah, she's
been around since you were thirteen, has raised you for
considerable time. This is a different relationship. However, I think
you should probably start Oh he's twenty two, by way,
but I think you should probably start trying to see
if you can find a new place to live. But
I don't think that you have to rush out of there, no,
because she cleterarally doesn't think you have to rush out.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Of there, get your feet on.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
But I think one you gotta start working on finding
a place, and two got to work on finding new friends.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, because there's definitely a lot of code dependency here.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
There's so much codependency. I don't think your ex's mom
should be your best friend.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Whoa could be a mom?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, but I think you can motherly relationship with her.
But I think that you should absolutely work on finding
new friends.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
So a lot of people marry that, or a lot
of people marry their best friends.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Nice. But there's an update, folks.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I never really understood that I married my best friend.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah, my friend Isabella. She's like, if you ever say
that I'm gonna be so upset with you because she's
my best friend. She's like, you can't went like in
your vows. You can't say I'm marrying my best friend.
Don't don't you dare.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Like I don't one of your best friend. I want
to be your boyfriend. I want to be your lover,
you know, like best friend.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yay, bestI I don't mind being like best friend. Well,
I have a lot of us friends. Update A lot happened.
A few days after my post. Lisa came by. We
talked just the two of us for the first time
since she was punted out. She started off by apologizing,
but immediately tried to shift blame on me and then
her mom. Then she asked if she could have a
(08:51):
second chance. I said no. And then she asked if
I was sleeping with her mom. Fair, honestly, fair question.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
We're all asking that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I said no, that she is the only person I
have ever been intimate with, and that Jen was basically
my mom. Then she said, say you're still in love
with me with a smugness that drove me insane. I
remember exactly what I told her. I don't love you
the second I found out you cheated on me, it disappeared,
and that I would rather drink three leaders of elephant
(09:21):
piss every day for the rest of my life before
I would get back together with you.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Some would you rather really do bother me? They became real. Yikes.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
She slapped me and then went to the backyard and
had it out with Jen. Yikes, she cheated on you,
and she's upset. She's upset that you don't love her
still after she cheated on you.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Also, girl, whenever elephant takes a piss, how many leaders
is it?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yeah? Because do you have to He's gonna be drinking
a lot of pea?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yeah? Is it like one leader you have to go
to seat the elephant three times a day? Or is
it all in one go and you just have that
leader you take down for the rest of the day.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
He's got one of those camel backpacks.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Mmmm. Can you batch up and get a weekly back?
I'm sorry so off to the point.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
She said some of the most vile things I've ever
heard in my life. Why is she so awful? If
her mom is so great, why is she so awful?
I won't write it down and I definitely won't speak
it to her mom. It was disturbing. Then Jen, in
a very calm voice, said that she was no longer
her daughter and told her she was trespassing and to
get out. Lisa looked shocked and then stormed off. The
(10:23):
second Lisa left, Jen had a meltdown. It lasted hours.
I was pissed off at Lisa. She confided to me
that she hates her daughter now and doesn't want a
relationship with her anymore. I love that.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Also, we have some information on left and pissing. Oh yeah, oh, I.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Don't love that.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
The internet's full of crazy stuff and this one's pretty mundane.
So on average, per day, it's fifty leaders per time
is about ten leaders. That's three gallons.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Okay, so that's ten leaders is three days worth. So
if you just catch them at one time when they go,
when you got three days worth, you only have to
see I'm just worried about how many times a week
you have to see the elephant.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
She started going to the therapy.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
So that's actually not so many, that's less. It's like
you have to see the elephant twice a week.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Basic, Okay, it's not make sure sure, yep, I'm just
she started going to therapy and told me around two
weeks ago that she's disowning Lisa and it's what's best
for her mental health. That a therapist said she can
still love her daughter and not want anything to do
with her.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Wow, that's like, Wow, what made her into this person?
Why does she have this much resist Well, she.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Has her dad, so maybe it's like her dad is
not great. But that's an intense reaction. I feel like,
as a parent, I would want Yeah, and thirteen says
she must have said some horrible things. She must have
because I'm thinking, I'm like, what would she have to
say for her mom to disown her? Yeah, Like I
would want to have more conversations with my daughter before
(11:51):
I like jumped straight to disowning.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Well, she did mention early on that her and Lisa
would fight a lot without Ope being around. Yeah, so
there's probably been some resentment on that end. She probably
has a more maternal thing for Opie than she does
the daughter, and she's like, I can just be a
mother to op instead of my daughter.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy. I've been supporting her the
best I can. I like being helpful. Lisa made less
and less attempts to contact me. She's living with her dad.
Five days ago, I got a text from Lisa's best friend,
let's call her Kate. She was one of a few
of Lisa's friends who didn't pester me and actually picked
me in the breakup. We've talked a few times since
the breakup. To console me. She asked if she could
(12:34):
come by with some of Lisa's friends so they can apologize.
I was apprehensive, but this woman is a straight shooter
and I was curious. So they came by and Kate
said thank you for letting them come over. Then the
other three women each took turns apologizing to me.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Oh nice.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Then they apologized to Jen for everything. Then they dropped
a bom. They didn't know she was cheating. Apparently Lisa
had been telling people that she only cheated because I
was with her mom and that's why she was punted out.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Oh my gosh, she's a liar. I was wondering, why
are all these friends horrible and believing it. Yeah, this
kind of person and these kind of things, This makes
so much sense. I still kind of believe a little.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Bit, but I still do. I asked why they thought
I would ever do something like that, and why they
were apologizing now. They said it was easier to think
I was a cheater than their best friend was a
lying seaward their word, not mine. They told me they
had cut her out. I must have looked like I
didn't believe them, So they all showed me their text
messages to Lisa and their social media. It seemed really
(13:37):
important to them that I believe them, and yeah, they
definitely did. They were not gentle about it, to say
the least.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
It is a tiny bit crazy that they went out
of their way to show how aggressively they caught out
this woman.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I don't blame them, though, Yeah, because of a friend
of mine. Let's say let's say a friend of mine
you cheated on someone and I went to them and
was like, I can't believe you cheated on Sophia and
did all these things whenever you were lying. Yeah, I
would definitely go to them and be like, yo, show
that's I doubt that.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean like that's I wouldn't want
to be friends with that person after that.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Honestly, there should be more friends like this where they
go out and they clue their names like that, yeah, or.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Like I also like understand their friends, because if one
of my friends said, yeah, they cheated on me, I'd
be like, well, you're my friends, so I want to
believe you, and I mean clearly. Ope, he didn't see
this coming, so it makes sense that they wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah, of course she had everybody fooled, but UH was
a little bit left.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I accepted their apology. Mostly they all left, but Kate, Kate,
and Jen went to the backyard. I don't know what
they talked about, but they were both smiling when they
came back. I thanked Kate for setting them straight and
being on my side throughout the breakup. She said she
was just following her moral compass. I'm doing much better
now and I don't plan on moving out until the
time is right for Jen and me. Jen has become
(14:58):
my best friend and we support each other. This relationship
is still a little bit weird to me. I have
a routine I follow that really helps. Also, I started
sleeping better.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Wonder and that's the end of that story. I wonder
why you started sleeping better?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
No, Riley, No, but uh oh p, I think you
know you didn't do anything wrong. You have a really
close relationship with your ex's mom, so it makes sense
that you're to stay living with her, But I think
I think the goal should be to find some more
friends your age. Yeah, you know, we go basically your.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Mom or other adults that aren't your ex's mom or
that or that.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I have friends that are forty in up that I
hang out with on a weekly basis.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Are they your ex'es mom?
Speaker 3 (15:43):
No? Yeah, they're basketball players.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
That makes sense.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Yeah, okay, James are Dwayne Q.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
It's not really the age, honestly, it's just the fact
the relationship that they have, you know, it's like, that's
basically your mom and also that's your ex's mom. I
feel like we could branch out a little. But there
is another story, folks.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
My girlfriend is alone with another guy at two in
the morning.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
That's suspicious.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
I twenty nine mal had plans to hang out with
my girlfriend, twenty five female after her class tonight around
nine to ten pm. So I text her something nice
around that time to let her know I was thinking
of her and see when she would be done. No response.
She texts me hi A couple hours later, I respond, Hey,
what's up. At this point, a little upset that she
(16:29):
had blown me off for hours past the time she
said she would hit me up after class. No response again,
this time for the rest of the night. By the way,
this comes from Ace Jackson and if you want to
spit your own stories, go to the ar slash Okay
story times. So I read it. So I was starting
to get worried because I know she leaves campus late
and it could be sketchy in that area. Sometimes. I
(16:49):
texted her and call her a couple more times, no response.
At this point, I'm definitely worried and text her I'm
gonna stop by to make sure she's all good. She's
a girl and lives alone and just about five minutes
away from me. So I swing by and all the
lights are on. I'll walk up to the front door
and knock. She comes out looking surprised, steps outside oddly
(17:12):
m I say, what's up. I was worried you weren't okay.
I never heard back from you, and you kind of
bailed on our plants. She then says, oh, sorry, I've
been hanging out with some friends from school, So I ask,
is someone in there right now? She tries to casually
play it off. There was a guy from class over.
We've been hanging out talking about our class. Mind you
(17:35):
it's two am.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Oh come on, girl, you blow off your plans with
your partner to hang out with a guy from your
class until two am, and then you we're gonna lie
about it. You literally said, oh, yeah, I'm hang out
with friends from class, and Opie says, is someone there now?
And she's like, oh yeah, like a guy from my class.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Two things that I've seen right now. One, yeah, he
asked to hang out. Usually, if you're dating, you're like, oh,
I'm just gonna come over by this. I don't really ask,
so it's early on in the relationship. My second question
is how or I guess My first question is how
long have you guys been together? Good question, because it
was three months. You might be the other fella I feel.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Like then maybe I feel like that guy inside wouldn't
be like, hey, who's talking to you?
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Maybe? But if she's good at this, she can handle
on her own. She knows how to juggle. She then
asked me to come in, and if I want to
meet him, I say yes, I come in and meet
this guy who looks a bit startled and dreuce myself,
and then they start catching me up on what they
were talking about my girlfriend is acting pretty odd, like
super casual that the fact I just showed up at
(18:39):
one thirty in the morning after she's been ignoring me,
and there's some random guy I don't know there. She's
acting like a snow big deal. Within twenty minutes, I
decide I'm going home and ask her to walk me out.
I then ask her to make the guy leave, because
there's no reason he should be there so late. She
says no, we were in the middle of a conversation.
I try to explain to her that this isn't cool
(19:00):
with me and makes me uncomfortable, and she doesn't seem
to care one bit. She says, I'm not gonna argue
with you about this while someone is right here. We
can talk tomorrow, and then walks back inside. I try
not to make a scene and be respectful of her
house while still letting her know it wasn't cool. Am
I crazy or are those serious red flags? And am
(19:24):
I being naive here? I have to talk to her
tomorrow and I'm not sure how to approach this. Keon, Sophia,
what are we doing? Hmmm? Break up? Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Yeah? Yeah? She respected me?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, and she lied about it.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
I caught you and you're still going to play this.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Off alone with a guy that is in a class
with her until two am, and then she lied about it.
And the real kicker is that she blew off plans
to do.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Yes, it was like not one strike, not two strike.
It was like three.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Strikes in one night. Yeah, five strikes in one night.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yeah, we're breaking up. We got an update. This all
happening a couple of days, but for what would have
been annas.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, so they're like a year at least.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Dang, that's rough one month.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
That's true, I guess.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Anniversary.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah, I don't know. I didn't celebrate any anniversaries, and well,
I don't know, but I feel like some people celebrate
like one month, two months. I didn't have any intention
to that.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Oh that's like high school kind of level.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Okay, well I didn't do that, So you're.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Well, I'm just saying I'm mature.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Yeah, I'm so much.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I did six months to Angie Owen and I little
that makes sense. Yeah, I'm like, we did it.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, we did it. We made it to six months.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I obviously should have seen the signs from the first post,
but the first part of this update and you guys know,
I initially did not end the relationship. What a regret. Yeah,
how I handled it was. We met the next morning
to talk and I let her explain her side of things.
She explained that other people were at the house that
night earlier, and she was going to be hanging around
(20:59):
with kids from class sometimes now that school has started.
Keep in mind, she's twenty five going back to school now,
and most of these kids are nineteen to twenty two.
Nothing super serious as far as class load is concerned.
She's studying theater at the community college. Sofia, you are
so into this, But what does that mean? If you're
(21:19):
studying theater at community college and you're twenty five talking
to twenty two year old boys? Does that mean?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Well, the theater at a community college at twenty five
is fine. That part's fine.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Yeah, but I'm saying I need, you know, nineteen year
old boys or whatever. What kind of class project are
you doing at you know, at two o'clock in the
morning with it none? None, You're you're smooching, smooching, you're
speechin to, you're practicing your kiss scenes. Yeah, yeah, I
use the date of theater, chick. Will we be hanging
out till two o'clock in the morning. That's so, I
love that for your homework. And then the next year
(21:50):
classes got serious. I was hanging out with my friend
Daniel Cox till two o'clock in the morning, running papers.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Okay, but.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Okay, I just I still had the from the theater. She
but I was just writing papers. I wasn't hanging out
with her anymore. Like school got serious a serious. Yeah,
it's because that stupid film professor. His name was mister Hollywood. No,
his name was mister Hollyfield.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Hollyfield.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Interesting Hollywood. Yeah, it was right. His favorite movie was
RoboCop because of the clamation they had in that movie. Yeah,
I better start talking about him. He's gonna watch this
one day. I explained to her why all the signs
point to that being a major fred flag. She somewhat
hears me out and apologizes for not better communicating her
plans that night, but defends herself that hanging out with
(22:36):
friends from class is not wrong, so in the future
she would be communicating better about her plans and do
a better job not making me feel concerned. I was
obviously angry and upset about this previous situation, but I
truly love this girl and was willing to give things
a chance to progress forward and her show me the
positive changes. We had continued our relationship and it was
(23:00):
going good for the most part. Then recently communication did
not seem to be going the best, and there were
some signs that she wasn't giving as much effort into
the things we spoke about before as she had promised
to do. There were signs of her actually trying to
pick fights and prepared to waiting them longer than needed,
even when I had made attempts to reconcile and move
(23:21):
forward from any arguments. Sounds like she's looking for an out.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, dude, this doesn't seem like she wants to be
in this relationship.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
I did feel heavily at this time that she was
not respecting me in these conversations, and any attempts I
made to lovingly let her know this was met with hostility,
which she then would attempt to turn right back on
me like it was my fault the fight even happened.
This was getting old, but I was still making every
(23:48):
effort to bring us back to a good space on
a more everyday basis because I was wildly in love
with this girl and the connection I thought we shared.
The deceiving thing was is that she was also very
good at making me feel at other times she felt
the same way about me. You're the love of my life.
(24:10):
I love you more than anything. Future plans together, talking
about how lucky she was to be with me, et cetera.
These were all exploited to be absolute lies. Fast forward
to a few nights ago. We had plans to hang
out that night, and when I asked her earlier in
the day what she wanted to do, she told me
(24:31):
she actually agreed to go get sushi with a friend
she hadn't seen a while.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Hm, which friend?
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah, what's his name?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Friend? When don't you get in sushi? You gotta get
sushi at two in the morning.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Yeah, they don't.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
They're not open at that time.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
What's going on there?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
The fisher are sleeping?
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yeah? I want sushi.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Oh no, you've done OPI. I let her know this
upset me, since she was bailing on her plans, but
it attempts to understanding. I then suggest we just meet
up after instead and go out that night to do
something fun. She did not give me a definite answer,
but kept bouncing around the subject, saying she would keep
me updated on when she was finished. I let her know, hey,
(25:14):
don't cancel plans with your boyfriend. Then, when he's cool
about it and tries to suggest something else, leave him
up in the air, saying maybe we can hang It
makes me feel like not a priority and isn't how
you treat someone you love. She ends up going off
on me again and we leave on the terms of Okay,
we'll just talk later. I call later and let her
(25:35):
know that after dinner it would mean a lot if
we could spend some time together. I had been wanting
that since all the time we were hanging out was
during the day with other stuff going on. Sometimes she
calls me after dinner around nine thirty pm and lets
me know she's home. I asked her to come hang
out so we can figure out what to do. Then
she deflects with, oh, my other friend girl who I know,
(25:59):
wanted to go to a midnight showing of a movie
tonight and I haven't seen her in so long.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Mm hmmm a midnight showing, So what time are you
getting back? Two in the morning.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I know I may seem completely stupid to you guys
at this point, but I assure you. I was already
seeing through a BS and knew something wasn't right. I
kept calm, just let her know I think that's messed up,
bums me out, and that I wish she would at
least try to include me with her friends when doing
stuff like this. She then takes to the level of
trying to make me feel bad that I can't just
(26:32):
be understanding and maybe she wants to go out with
her friends without me.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Sometimes I literally don't trust this woman at all.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
No, I don't either a movie trust Also, fun fact,
movies have really good cameras inside them, So whatever you
do in movies all recorded. Keon, yeah, keon, I don't mind.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yeah, no, OPI your girlfriend is like obviously lying to
you and she thinks you're dumb.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Maria says, hey, uh, one movie you gonna go see?
What time about theater? Great? I'm gonna go watch on
the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Well, I feel like every time a Pie says like, hey, yeah,
I'd love to hang out, she's like, you're not. No,
Like I can't hang out with my friends alone. Like
I feel like she makes this big deal out of.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Everything she does.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Yeah, really weird, super suspicious.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
It is she tells me she will call me after
the movie and asks if she can come over and
spend the night with me after it's finished. Meanwhile, I
knew I had friends going out that night as well,
and I could grab some drinks with them, finish her
up around the same time, and then meet back at
my house to spend the night together. I did not
tell her I was going out because it did not
seemed relevant at the time, and I had some weird
(27:39):
suspicions that maybe something else was going on. One forty
five am rolls around and I'm leaving the bar with
some friends to go grab a burrito before heading home.
I walk down the street and lo and behold, there
she is on the corner of the street standing with
a guy.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Yikes. Also, she was planning at coming over to your
house out like when two.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
In the morning, three in the morning, because that guy's
probably gonna stay call her out and one, and.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
She had plans to come hang out with you that night.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
One of the same guys from that night at the
house in my original post. Shocker, I know, So it
was the same dude.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Oh so there were multiple people at her house.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Yeah, but there was probably one dude there who knows
she might like more than one seems like it.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Amy Lynn says she's pregas lighting him so that he'll
be more accepting when she calls him controlling.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Ooh, pregas lighting? What do you call that? What? Preheating?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Pre heating?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
We can ad that to the book. Yes, yes, that's
his book. I confront her and ask her what's going on.
She attempts to even further lie, explain how her girlfriend
was supposed to come like that makes it any better?
Is it what it looks like? Blah blah blah blah blah.
Some old bs lies and no accountability. When even caught
in a dead lie on a date with another guy.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Where's the movie?
Speaker 3 (29:01):
How even was the movie?
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Sit? Outdoor movie?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
H I turned to the guy and ask him what's
going on. He explains he invited her to the movies.
Now much else kind of looks scared because I'm sure
I was. I rate. I have no problem with them
at all, because it's one hundred percent my then girlfriend's fault.
He's probably like, tell to me straight, buddy. And plus
this guy's probably like twenty and he's twenty nine. Twenty oh,
(29:27):
he's thirty five. I think so no, no, no, he's twenty nine.
A girlfriend's twenty five. Girlfriends Oh, you're right, were right? Okay, sorry,
so he's probably twenty nine dude being like.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Yo, hey, why are you with my girlfriend? Bud? What
are you doing with my girlfriend? He's like, oh, we're
going to a movie.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I walked to the other side with her and ask
her to be real with me for once, tell me
what's going on and to come to terms with who
she is and what she's done here. She shuts down
when she realizes she can't talk her way out of things,
and tries to ask if we can talk tomorrow and
not make a scene here. I tell her, if you
want to explain yourself, well, then you can't leave right now,
(30:02):
and I will at least hear you out. She says, No,
I'm not leaving my friend here alone. You were overreacting
and it's not as bad as it looks.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I would immediately break up. I'd be like, okay, all right, cool,
get right with your friend. Yeah, yep, I'm not leaving
my friend here. What do you mean I'm not leaving
my friend here?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Huh. Even though I'm pretty hard at this point, I
can't help but to bust out and laughter at the
disbelief of the whole thing. I tell her this is
it and the relationship is fully done now should have
been done a while ago, but that seals the deal,
and I truly see you for who you are now,
a lying, manipulative, actual sociopath. I left with my friends,
(30:40):
blocked her on everything, and am now moving forward for good.
I do want to say, though I made huge mistake
in this whole scenario, but not leaving when my gut
told me to. So many signs pointed to her being
so fake, such a liar, and not trustworthy at all.
But I let the good times under manipulative words keep
me around, thinking that I just needed to make more
(31:04):
effort myself to make things work. I will say, maybe
you can relate to this. Whenever relationships don't seem to
be working, what it feels like you need to pour
more work into them instead of them easily just flowing
together and just working.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Yeah, yeah, you're trying to solve problems, and you're trying
to solve problems and then ever go away. Yeah, I mean,
I think there are always going to be hard things
in a relationship. But if you're not seeing that work
being done on both ends, then it's probably not a
relationship that's going to work out.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Yeah. Yeah, I will say being with Angie, it doesn't
feel like work at all at any point there. I mean,
like we talk about things and everything, but it doesn't
feel like I have to pour work into it. It
just happens.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah, because well you have two hands holding it up, yeah,
rather than just one person being like yeah and the
other person being like stomping on it.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Yeah. And I have been in relationships where I putting
in a lot of work and stuff. Does it seem
to be doing anything?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Back to the story. Even though I said I was
very hurt by being deceived and catching someone cheat on me,
I ultimately know it's one hundred percent for the best
and a huge blessing in disguise because this person actually
truly never loved me the way I cared for them.
Who knows how much longer I would have to be
stuck around and let myself be treated like this. I
am grateful it happened now, and there is no chance
(32:20):
in heck I would give her a second chance. Sorry
for the novel, feels good event much love edit. I
really appreciate all the positive response and feedback. At two
for people responding thinking I was making assumptions about the
situation I walked upon that night and defending that it
could have just been a friend, let me explain that
there was no way. It was not what it looked like.
(32:42):
I did not include the whole dialogue exchange between us,
but the guy did make it clear he was under
impression that they were on a date, which is when
I walked away, because it most definitely contradicted her whole
made up story. Yeah, dang, you will find you're a
queen obe rough Rough.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Yeah, I mean if he thought it was a date,
it was a date. Yeah, yeay, Rough, And I'm sorry,
and you'll find someone better who treats you right.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
Agreed. Agreed. Yeah, that's out there. Oh god, this is crazy.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
But that is the end of that story. And we've
got another one.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Folks. Hey, it's Sam.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
My long distance girlfriend slept over with another guy.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
I think we can increase the distance.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
My girlfriend, twenty eight female, and I, twenty nine male,
have been together for over a year and a half.
Now we are doing long distance and only see each
other about three times a year, usually a month and
a half a visit. Oh wow, this girl has been
my world and has significantly influenced my outlook on life.
I never knew I could love a person this much.
(33:50):
I guess this is why I'm so conflicted. I simped
hard for her. Although we have our ups and downs,
our relationship is generally great and I've had the best
moments in my life spent with her. By the way,
this comes from Adventurous EBB eighty and if you want
to spit your own stories, go to the R size. Okay,
story time suburden. The following happened in sequence and a
(34:12):
span of the last month and a half issue number one.
She has this guy best friend who flew where she
lives to attend a love concert with her. What's a
love concert?
Speaker 2 (34:24):
A love song concert?
Speaker 3 (34:25):
A love song concert? I don't know, same thing. They
live in the same country. He then proceeded to rent
an expensive sports car to bring my girlfriend out for
a fancy launch and dinner, and then the love song concert.
She then brings him home for a sleepover. He is
not attracted to the same gender. I'll due the perception
(34:48):
on that. So he's gay, he's not.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
He's not gay.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Oh he's not gay. Not gay?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah, dude, he rented an expensive car to take her
off to lunch. Bro, that doesn't look great. Why did
he need to do that?
Speaker 3 (35:05):
She told me about it a week before the event, saying, hey,
I'm going to the concert with him. He's crashing into
my place. No that, she only told me that she
was going to do it and never bothered to ask
if I'd be okay with it. Fun fact, if you
rent an expensive sports car, you can also rent a
hotel for the night. Huh.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I okay, I don't think that. I Like, I literally
just stayed with one of my friends. I don't think
that staying with your friends is inherently not okay. But
I think the renting the sports car to take her
out to lunch and dinner suspicious. Yeah, that's the suspicious
thing to me.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
I see, this is the perfect scenario. Is Sofia and
I's relationship. Okay, Angie knows about it, she knows Sofia,
She's cool with Sofia, all this stuff. So if I
take Sofia to dinner, it's just like LI and so
Finner are gonna go get sushi, you know, that's it.
But I'm not gonna get a fancy sports car and
(36:02):
drive Sofia along. That would be weird, and go to
a love concert with you, that would be weird.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I will actually have like a pretty good example, like
this past week, I was in Chicago visiting my friend.
My friend has a partner and was like, hey, just
like if you could make my partner comfort who I
haven't met before, like just make And I was staying
with him and they were like, make make my partner comfortable,
just like you know, you know, be who you are already,
but just you know, to be open and honest and.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, be Sofia, you know, yeah, give her that vibe.
It makes sense.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
But I think it is absolutely fair to be like,
I want to make my partner comfortable because this person
is coming who I don't know. So I don't think
it is inherently cheating to have at all, because I
just did that, to have a person come over who's
an opposite gender or whatever and stay at your house.
But I think adding the other stuff it gets a
(36:54):
little suspicious. I don't think it's just you know, it's
proof yet, but it is suspicious not fun.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
At this point, I'm super uncomfortable, especially with a lack
of respect from both of them, like do I even exist?
Neither of them thought that I her boyfriend might not
be okay with their special day and a sleepover. So yeah,
I was clearly uncomfortable with it, and she could tell.
But I did not want to get in between their friendship,
so I held it in. Since then, I've tried talking
(37:23):
to her about how troubled I was by it, and
every time I did, she flipped things on me, like
saying I don't make enough money and I don't update
her enough when I'm at the gym, And every time
I end up apologizing and promising him to do better
for her. She only addresses my concerns with stuff like, yeah,
he's a friend, I'm no one for ages. I did
(37:44):
not cheat on you. I can't change the past.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
What do you mean you can't change the past.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
She never showed genuine empathy for the pain she caused me,
never saying things like I'm so sorry, I will never
do that again. Her apologies always seemed to have an
annoyed That's the thing.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
It's like she's not attempting to make ope comfortable at all. Again,
totally could be totally patonic, but like, introduce your partner
to this person, Yeah, make an effort. If this is
your best friend or like a close friend, and you are,
you know, care about your partner, then let's make an effort.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Also love song concert interesting. She had tears in her eyes,
sigh eyed me, and said, hardy told you that I'm
sorry this happened in person. She's now visiting me in
my country.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Oh issue one rant?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Oh issue one rant.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Okay, so we're still on issue one, but there's kind
of a talkback about got it.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
She posted a story with the guy best friend publicly,
and I caught a glimpse of her phone. It took
selfies together. Right now, She's visiting me in my country
and has never taken a single selfie of us together
nor posted a story with me in it. I confronted
her about this and her response was him and I
don't see each other often, And I was thinking, WTF,
(38:57):
what about us? We are literally doing long distance and
they don't see each other at Alton either.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Mmm.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
She also tends to compare my capabilities to the guy
best friends. Bro, you're the side. Man.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Oh, yikes, yikes, yikes, yikes. I don't like this one bit.
She's just she's s gaslighting you. She's putting the blame
on you for different things so that you forget that
you're supposed to be upset about what she's doing.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
She puts me down and puts him on a pedestal.
He is rich.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, well, he rented a nice car for her.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
So issue number two. She regularly complains that I do
not provide for her during her current visit. Now, I
spent hours on consecutive days, including my workdays, driving her
around and helping her move stuff. She was unappreciative of
my efforts and only thank me whenever I asked for one.
We discussed the provide matters seriously, and I laid out
(39:49):
everything I could provide. She cried, saying, this is nothing
life I want. Okay, I've been here, collar wraps, I've
been here, callar wraps. You don't have to. If what
you bring to enough, call it he wraps.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Yeah. I mean if she's complaining, she's saying this is
not what I wanted, then okay, yeah bye.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I was literally in a car conversation for two hours
straight talking my ex telling me that I'm never going
to provide enough for her in the life that she wants.
I should have just called her wraps in. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
I mean, if they're saying that, go find someone else.
There is a difference between saying, Hey, this is what
I want for a life, let's build towards there, and
saying you don't. You're not providing me what I want
right now, You yourself cannot provide me what I want
to week, why are you? Why are we together? Then?
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Yes, she says that just my time and effort is
not enough, basically saying I need to spend more money
on her. I guess after all this, I broke down,
crying like I've never seen before, sobbing like a little witch.
Tiered for days, I thought to myself that she was
not the same person I love so dearly. I felt
I have once again let myself down, and after a
(40:56):
few days of not talking, I made up my mind
to end things. Break up with Tim. I expressed that
I don't feel appreciated and lack of respect from her
and her guy best friend or a deal breaker from me.
She's thought the extent of it and finally became more
apologetic this time, she convinced me to give the relationship
another go, and I reluctantly did. No Issue number three,
(41:19):
we traveled to Korea. I was using her phone to
take a photo of her and a message came from
the guy best friend. He called her babe. I confronted
her about it and asked if she calls him babe too.
She told me that she does, tells me it doesn't
mean anything. It really got me uncomfortable, especially after the
breakup attempt happened. She clearly knows the extent of it
(41:40):
all and still receives babe messages from him. But once
again I held it in cuz we're on a holiday.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Dude, you're too forgiving about this.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Sophia and I don't have. The nickname I have for
Sophia is Soap.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
I call her Soap, not Riley, Riley, not babe, not nope,
you know whatever those names are, it's so Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I call Riley Gurley. Yeah. That's that's the extent of
our nicknames. See if she had been like, oh, we
say love you, blah blah blah, I'd be like, yeah,
that's fair. I do that with all my guy friends. Babe,
I don't do that. No, No, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
So here I am. Our relationship has rekindled after the
Korea trip, but I am still constantly thinking about the
deal breakers and her behavior towards it all. I don't
think I can look past them.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
Don't look past them, look at them. Stop looking past them,
look right at them.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
The ovens on, don't worry about the ovens being on.
Ovens on. Go turn it off, Go turn it off.
In the past, I've always promised that I do better
for our future, But after what happened with the guy
best friend, I don't feel like I want to work
harder for her in particular anymore. Please write it. This
is my first time posting here as I'm mega conflicted.
(42:58):
What would you do? Giving my situation? I need some advice.
I'm not afraid of being alone or unable to find
someone else. I'm just afraid of losing this particular girl.
Update Obi, what's the hardest thing to do? Ask yourself
that question, and that's what you got to do.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
I mean, you just got to leave her.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
When would you have left?
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Wait, earlier, when, like exactly at the rental of the thing.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
No, I wouldn't. I would have had a conversation. Okay,
I would have said, hey, it made me feel really uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
And then wait, what about what about the point when
they started comparing.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
Yeah, then the one where what was the one she
said she was like.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
You don't make as much as he. Yeah, he's a
better man than you.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
I'd be like, Okay, you go date him. Yeah, that's
that's where I'm like, once you start comparing me to
other people that you clearly have this weird relationship with
why are we together?
Speaker 3 (43:49):
We're done? We are done, Carly, when what if you
have left?
Speaker 2 (43:53):
I didn't hear any of the story.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
I just got here, Wow, look at that or Jasian
car really how to produce? Everyone watching? Uh, she's gonna
do a great job. And she did come in mid episode.
But that's okay because put her on the spot. We're
putting her on the spot, We're teaching her. Okay. Update,
Hey John Ogi, hoist here.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick
three minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the
show alive.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
This all happened on the same night of the original post.
I really appreciate the comments in my previous posts, both
negative and positive. I generally want to take on this
situation with as many perspectives as I can brain that said,
this is going to disappoint most of you.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Oh no, are you staying together?
Speaker 3 (44:33):
They're staying together?
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Why you literally spent this whole thing being like, I
think I should break up with her.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
He's staying still here. Yeah, well he's staying together because,
like he you're afraid.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
You're afraid, You're afraid.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
I could not break up once again. I couldn't bring
myself to in things with her. I initiated a second
breakup last night and we ended up having a super
long talk and everything we spoke until the next day's afternoon.
She's clearly in distress and is fining to keep this
relationship alive, fighting very hard. She's not And it feels
like a like a whenever people are trying to get
(45:07):
off of drugs, like relapse in a way. Yeah, this
feels like he's relapsing.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yeah, it's like, well, well, I guess she said she's sorry.
I tried to break them back. It's like, no, I
tried to break up.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
The girls said she is, well, she.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Feel really bad. I guess I can't wake up. But huh,
Wily bad h guy best friend.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
No. She was persistent and reassuring me about the guy
best friend, saying that their relationship is entirely platonic. There
is one way to test this, Sophia. How do you
test this to make sure that this guys can platonic?
How do you test this multiple twice? No? But like,
how would you test this?
Speaker 2 (45:48):
I don't know how.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
Okay, you're gonna call the guy best friend you girlfriend,
and say, hey, I want to come over. Could we
maybe do something saucy later?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Trap trap them? You got, that's the only one.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Oh, drap right? Yeah? Super healthy.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
If he says you know you're with someone, or you
know I only like you as a friend, there you go.
But he says, yeah, come on over, I'm on over.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
I want some kiddles. Yeah, then you know, I don't
think that's the healthiest way. I think you should just
break up.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
She insists that nothing happened during the sleepover. They were
in separate rooms, and she did a video call me
before bed that night, as she always does. You can
end the call and go into his room after that.
That's how that works. True. She admitted she didn't realize
how much the whole slipover thing bothered me and obviously
would never do that again. She got canted. As for
(46:42):
the babe messages, she explained that they've been calling each
other that since they're were fourteen. She also mentioned to
stop calling him babe. Gosh, I hate the word babe.
Now she has also pulled back on her communication with
him overall fin actual expectations. We also have to realize
that they're in a log disc relationship.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
I forgot about that.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
That.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
Yeah, that's important. Well, that's why I think even more so,
you need like communication and to make sure that you're
not like pushing beast these boundaries, because it is so
easy to do that when you're in a long distance
relationship because there's no one there that you're like necessarily
think about twenty four to seven because you're not seeing them,
you know, all the time.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
She told me her love for me has no financial
requirements and that her expectations are more about building a
future together. However, she wants a partner with a provider mindset.
That's the most doublius.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
She apologizes to you and saying this to you right now,
like it's still a backhanded apology, Like she's still you know,
apologizing but then accusing you yes, or you know, pointing
out your faults yes.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
While I'm essentially doing that now, I do feel like
her expectations are high. She denies compare me to him,
but honestly, I could say there was some low key
comparison at the very least my conflicted feelings. The general
tone of the conversation was heard desperately trying to make
this work while I kept giving myself reasons to part ways.
(48:10):
Her effort and emotional investments make me feel incredibly conflicted.
On one hand, I don't know if I can truly
move past everything and give this relationship a proper go.
On the other hand, I can tell she genuinely loves
me and is willing to change for the sake of
our future. But yeah, I'm mostly conflicted seeing how much
she wants to work things out. Conspiracy theory. I think
(48:33):
she wants to work things out because she knows she
can't be with that other guy.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Maybe yeah, because he is He's not around here either.
I think you could try if you want to, if
she really it seems like she really wants to work
it out. She has all of these explanations. I think
there might be like a couple of weeks where you
guys started try and work it out and it feels
a little bit better, and then it goes back to
the same thing it was, and then you know, by then, yeah,
(48:58):
probably best to break up.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
Yeah, I think with the guy friend, she realized like
she kind of I've seen her kind of turn here. Yeah,
well she's she's working harder for the relationship and not
really giving the big guy best friend a lot of things.
So she either really actually cares about the relationship or
she knows she can't be with other guy. Yeah, okay,
I'll give him some space. She still wants op to
(49:22):
be him.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Courtney
Electra says she wants to settle for someone she can
manipulate easily.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
And oh, that's a good point. I didn't think about that.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
Yeah, she's manipulated. He's trying to break up twice and
she's still yeah made it. Oh man, for now, I
have not officially ended things. She's packing her stuff, but
they're still at my place. She's right now flying to
another country for work for a week, so I'll have
some space and time to think things over, I guess.
Please be patient with me. I really do need more advice,
(49:55):
but first I'm gonna take a nap. Good night, read
it and thank you once again. Update number two, does
he pull the trigger?
Speaker 2 (50:02):
I think I think it's on the way. Maybe they'll
maybe they'll prove us wrong and they like have worked
this out and are gonna fix the relationship. But I
do think it's on the way right now. My guess
is it's on the way to break.
Speaker 3 (50:14):
Up if you're in a relationship and is exhausting and
it feels like yeah, and he so want.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Like he keeps saying, I want to break up with her, yeah, oh,
but she wants to work on it, So I feel
bad You want to break up with her?
Speaker 3 (50:24):
Yeah, and she doesn't love you for who you are?
Just yeah, move on?
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Daring is it's not great.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
It's been about four days since the last update. I've
been using this time and space apart from her, to
think deeply. This whole situation has consumed me, affecting every
aspect of my life. My diet is a mess, my
skin's breaking out. I can't focus on anything. It'd be
work or jim. I even curbed my will a full circle,
something I've never done before.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Britney be says, please end things. I wouldn't be surprised
if her friend was with her.
Speaker 3 (50:56):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
I think it's just long distance relationships to take like
ten times more work, and I feel like people get
complacent and they're like, oh, well, I don't actually have
to work that hard because I'm not seeing them all
the time. And it's like, no, you're not seeing them
all the time, so you need to put in the
effort to like make ways to like you know, or
(51:18):
just like make time for them.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
Yeah, make an effort. As I reflect, I'm starting to
understand the dynamics of a relationship more clearly. But the
more I know, the more it hurts, because everything is
leading me towards leading. She's been trying to reach while apart,
but I've only responded with I'm not ready to talk.
Her fly back from her work trip is tonight. I
think I know what needs to be done, but do
(51:41):
I really I still feel conflicted, especially when things get quiet.
I feel her influence within me, pulling me to reasons
to stay. One thing I can probably say, I'm lucky
to have real friends who are here for me a
few of you even personally drop me a message. I'm touched.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
I think go peet. My advice is, I don't think
that you are wrong for wanting to stay with her
and see if you know she is really you know, yeah,
gotta truly try and work on this relationship.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
Yeah, I do think.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
However, there is a very high chance that you're gonna
do that and realize that it's not working out.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
However much she's trying, it's not enough. Yeah, I think
that's a there's a big possibility on that.
Speaker 3 (52:25):
Yeah, it's not enough. It just you got to be
in a relationship where someone loves you for you are.
You don't have to you don't have to prove to
them because you're you, yourself is already proving. Now, that
doesn't give you an excuse to just be a lazy
crap piece of crap. But that's not where this is.
That's not the story.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
But that is the end of that story and the
end of this episode.
Speaker 3 (52:44):
So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
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