My adopted brother felt ostracized by our parents… now that he's grown up. - r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP2242 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
This is John, the og story Time podcast host. Oh yeah,
and we got some great stories coming up. But before that,
we got a teeny two minute break from the sponsors
that keep this show propped up like a little house.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Oh yea, my adopted brother felt ostracized by our parents
now that he grew up.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
You got a time limit on your parents' love, ah streets.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
My parents have five kids, twenty seven female, twenty six male.
Then me and my twin and our adopted brother are
all twenty three and we are twenty three female, me
then two twenty three males. John was adopted when his
bio parents, who were close friends with our parents, passed
away when he was a few months old. By the way,
this comes from Tiara Fu and if you want to

(00:42):
spent your own stories, go to the r slash.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Okay, Storytime subbured it.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
So this has been a slowly building thing for years now,
but really got called to everyone's attention in the past
five years. I remember growing up with John normally as
any siblings would, and all of our other siblings say
the same. We played, we fought, we may up, we
broke our parents' crap. The past five years have been
somewhat strange, though at first we thought it was just
John being John, but now after I've spoken with him,

(01:09):
we discovered it was more than we thought. First off,
John left the day he turned eighteen, wow, which was
a surprise because he had good grades and everyone assumed
he'd go to college like the rest of us. He
graduated one semester early and left the house on his
eighteenth birthday, which was a shock to everyone. He earned
money doing chore work for our dad and uncles, and
had bought his own car and apparently saved enough to

(01:30):
get an apartment. It was weird, and my parents were sad,
but more than that, they were proud and happy for him.
Dad offered John money to help him start out life
on his own, but John refused and said, you'd be fine.
My parents were insanely proud of John. They're not typically
the brag about my kid kind of people, but they
were telling everyone how independent and responsible and mature and

(01:52):
fearless John was. Now it's important to note that us
siblings were always fairly close. I cried the first night
John was gone and wanted my dad to figure out
a way to make him come back because I was
scared he passed away or something. So when the communication
suddenly was almost nothing, it was weird and we missed him.
But our parents said that he was busy working and

(02:13):
taking care of himself, and that when he settled and
figured things out, he'd be back to his normal self.
It never happened, though, and he also stopped really talking
to them. He talked to us around birthdays and holidays,
but even then it was strange. He always tried to
meet up with siblings for dinners or drinks on birthdays,
always visits her parents very quickly on their birthday and

(02:34):
Mother's and Father's Day, and on Thanksgiving and Christmas. He's
in and out. For example, our older brother was the
only one there when John was there for our mom's
most recent birthday, and he said John was very clinical
and that it felt more like a soldier was paying
respect to a commanding officer than anyone visiting their parents.
One thing about this that stood out was that John

(02:54):
talked to her mom and dad and brother about a
lot going on his life. Apparently he's got a girlfriend
and just got a dog, and as a great new
job in construction. No one knew any of this, and
Dad cracked a joke about how they were durable parents
because how could they not know anything about what was
going on in one of their kids' lives. After John
left her, Mom looked sad, and when our older brother

(03:15):
asked her what was wrong, she said that it felt
like John didn't want to be around her and that
she missed him before. She refused to say anything more
about it, so our older brother started a group chat
with everyone but John to ask about if anyone had
noticed anything wrong with him.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
We'd all talked about.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
How distant he'd been over the years, but never like this.
At the end of it, we all arranged to meet
up with John and tried to talk to him to
make sure everything was okay. It took some effort to
get him to open up, but he finally did, and
what he said really rocked our family. He said that
I'm not their real son. We all immediately tried to

(03:51):
reassure him that Mom and dad loved him and we
do too, but he had all these stories about how
Mom and Dad treated him differently. There were a lot
of examples, things like older brother would hug or kiss
Mom on the cheek, but she'd push John off if
he tried the same. Dad would happily talk sports with anyone,
but would be short with John. Our grandparents were never
excited to see him aunts, and Uncle's not interested in

(04:12):
him or his hobbies or what was going on at school.
One incident where Dad asked each boy to go on
a hunting trip and never asked John until they were leaving,
and when he did finally ask, you could tell my
dad was annoyed. And my brothers did confirm this one
because they thought it was weird how Dad acted too.
When John said he was fine with not going, they
said Dad looked happy about it. So maybe John's not

(04:36):
imagining things.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah, yeah, maybe like the parents or the other siblings
didn't really notice, because you know, they still loved him
just the same. But obviously from John's.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
Perspective, it was not that way.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
That's so sad.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
And also he's probably you know, I mean not to
kind of mitigate any of the experiences that John has had,
but he's also probably hyper vigilant about noticing them because
he's kind of already this out to himself. He thinks
he's an outsider, and then he's like, Okay, let's find
all the things that.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Prove that I can understand it. It feels uncomfortable coming into
a family where they already have kids, like if you're
being adopted into it, and you kind of maybe don't
don't trust right away that you are accepted. And then obviously, yeah,
you just noticed these little things that confirm that.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, so sad.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
John would ask for help with schoolwork. Mom or Dad
would say they were tired or tell him to ask teachers,
but they'd stay up with the rest of us. You
get the idea. There was a lot of stuff, and
enough of us witnessed it that we don't think he
was misremembering things or making them up. John wasn't bitter
or angry about this. He said that he understood that
they wouldn't be able to love him the same way

(05:45):
they loved us, and that it would be inhuman of
me to ask that of them, which broke my heart.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
He said.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
He refused the money from Dad because he would have
felt badly about him using it on him instead of
his real children. What he said, he would always love
and respect them and be grateful for their sacrifices in
raising him, but that it was too painful to be
around them for too long because he knew they couldn't
be what he wanted and that he couldn't be what
they wanted. Our oldest sister was impassioned by this and

(06:12):
told my parents about it. It was a crap show.
Mom crying, Dad punt in a wall. They're both ashamed
and hurt, and insists that they love him just as
much as they do the rest of us.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
That's that sounds like the best way to prove that always, Yeah,
punch wall.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Wait, we don't love you, you love me? Like, what's
I mean? It doesn't seem like they're doing that in
front of John, But that's just those are insane reactions
to them.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
That is not how you show that you love this kid.
And I mean, you can always try to make up
for the actions that you you know have done in
the past, but you may have permanently lost out on
that relationship with him. I wonder if if the siblings
can reach kindle their relationship. I hope so, yeah, because
it's not their fault.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
But but yeah, if if it doesn't feel the same
way with the parents, then maybe maybe not.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
Maybe's supposed to move on. Now.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
John knows our parents know he's upset. He's apprehensive about
coming around, which is understandable. We love her brother, and
our parents love him too, and we all miss him.
How do we fix this? Editing to add I just
learned from her that apparently mom had a talk with
John and asked him if he had any improper feelings
about us, which, holy crap, if nothing else made him

(07:30):
feel like an outsider, that did.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
And there is an update.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
But yikes, what a weird question to ask, like this
son that you've kind of raised alongside sibling adoptive siblings.

Speaker 4 (07:43):
Yeah, but like what was the question again?

Speaker 3 (07:45):
She's basically asking him if he was into any of
the siblings. Oh what the yeah, which is said when
he was.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
He was younger? I think, what what? What? Whilch?

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Is such a weird question to ask a child who
is really raised as a sibling.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yeah, absolutely, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
Like unless, like I doubt there was any you know,
reason that she had, Like I don't think he was
probably doing a thing, sure of course, but yeah, a weird,
weird question. It just it just kind of is more
proof of like how the mom viewed the kid, Yeah,
and which is like not necessarily as equal as the

(08:21):
other kids.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
She may have loved him, but it wasn't as a son.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, not in the same way at least. It was
like it was like he was the ward. Yeah, he
was the uron gray joy of the family. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Update.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
The first people I wanted to really talk to were
my parents. I didn't share everything John shared with us
in the threat I made, but there were so many
things they'd done that were just downright rule. This conversation
was fairly quiet and extremely emotional. I only write adopted
brother here because I want to communicate with people reading,
but in my heart, he's just my brother. So when
I detailed the things John remembered, I began to cry.

(08:59):
And it hurts, but even more because I almost wanted
my parents to deny. I wanted them to be sure
they'd never done anything so mean, and that maybe John
was remembering things wrong. They never denied anything, though when
specific instances arose, you could see them turn their heads
or eyes away in shame. They'd get up in pace,
put their heads down. Never a denial when I asked them.

(09:20):
Most time, they say they didn't realize they were doing something,
or that they were too careless. They kept saying that
there was no excuse for it. You just can't. I mean,
you could apologize now, but.

Speaker 4 (09:32):
You're not again. You're never gonna get that relationship back.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yeah, because the all of the you know, bonding moments
you've already missed out on.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
I asked my father specifically about the fishing trip he
didn't invite John on. He said that he'd asked the
other boys and it just never crossed his mind to
go out of his way.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
And ask John.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
How is it out of your way to ask one
kid but not the others?

Speaker 1 (09:57):
How?

Speaker 3 (09:57):
I asked them both why they didn't help him withholme
or make sure their eighteen year old leaving had a
solid plan and would be safe. I never got a
response on that. I asked my mom about why she
pushed John off when he tried to be affectionate towards her,
and her response is the one that really leaves me
at a lost. She was very honest and said that
in her mind she couldn't ignore the fact that he
was spicily mature man who was not biologically related.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Gross. Uh gross. The who is saying this? The mother?
This mother?

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yes, the second she is like, I don't know how
else to say this, I'll say sextualizing. Yeah, she is
sextualizing this child. Yeah, her child. Repeatedly she has brought
up nature is like, you know, oh, are you attracted
to your siblings?

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (10:44):
I feel like I can't hug this child. Yeah, because
he's an adult man.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
Oh that was raised raised him.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Who let this lady adopt a kid?

Speaker 1 (10:56):
I don't know, A great question. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
She's not deserved.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
She said.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
It felt no different having my other brother's hug and
kiss her as babies, as it would today, but that
around the time John went through puberty, she couldn't see
him as one of her babies anymore.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
She said.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Her instinct then became to protect her daughter's justing case. Disgusting,
My god, disgusting.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
That's the sun.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
I suggest getting a bear to move into your house.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
I suggest that she'd get a therapist, yeah, she said.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
She said.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
It was hard and she wasn't happy about it, but
she'd rather have protected us and gone too far to
John's detriment than been laxed to our detriment.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Or you can just be a good parent, do what
you signed up for when adopting a whole child, she said.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
When John left, she felt relieved. After talking with them,
I spoke with my older sister, who was still very angry.
Same with our siblings. We all the siblings love him
and want him back in our lives like before, We
don't want to lose him. I reached out to John
and it was a bittersweet conversation. We both were happy
to be talking to each other. We still have our

(12:03):
inside jokes and things like that, and we can hang
out like nothing ever happened. But when we spoke about
re establishing our old relationship, he said it would be difficult.
There is a little bit left. But do you have
any final thoughts?

Speaker 1 (12:15):
My thoughts are new and gross and you should not
have been able to adopt anyone.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
And ew yeah, that is my those are my exact thoughts.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
It's kind of crazy. Yeah, I think that the thing
that's getting me is there's like the disconnect that like,
the only kid that could have done any of these
things she's worried about is John, just because he's adopted.
Where it's like, actually, any one of.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
Your lion there are so many I mean, like awful,
but there are so many instances of blood relatives being predators.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
That's why you got to keep your eyes up. Well, no,
that's that's kid who's exactly right, the prime suspect. Yeah,
I'm sure.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
And also if that's again not saying that do would
ever ever do this, but like, if you want to
prevent any of this from happening, ostracizing your child certainly doesn't.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
Is not like the best preventative measures. Absolutely not. And
then also too, it's like she's it's not even the
fact that she's like just worried this is gonna happen.
She's kind of decided for herself that this will happen.

Speaker 4 (13:25):
Like when he left, she was relieved, you know, And
it's like.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Give him a chance, man, you have the chance to
parent him away from that.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
I agreed, But there is a little bit left to
this story. He said he would love to be my brother,
but that he felt gross around us girls because of mom,
and that he feels like less than around our brothers.
He said that loneliness sucks, but that it's better than
feeling like people would rather not have you around. He
said he felt like a family friend that everyone liked,
but who's stuck around too long. Oof, dame ouch dang.

(14:00):
We both ended up crying. It was very ugly. We
at least decided that we try as siblings.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, and that's the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah, folks, I refuse to use my student loans to
pay my mother's tax bill. She got furious. That sounds
like her problem. I'm starting graduate school in January, and
I will be moving to a new country soon in
about three weeks. I've always wanted to get a master's
and last year I made the decision to pursue a
degree abroad, mostly because the country I'm from has no

(14:30):
development in the field I am interested in. By the way,
this comes from a student mom advice and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the our
such okay, storytime separate it. So now, graduate school costs
a bunch of money, and although my family has always
been well off, I have two younger brothers, both still
in college. Moreover, my father's business took a bad head
in January and he is still recovering from the losses.
When I told my parents about the plan, they told

(14:52):
me it wouldn't be possible for them to finance my
education because of the reasons I just listed. I understand
that parents paying for you as a gift, and I
thanked them and went about looking for student loans. I
wrote all the admission exams, did well, and was admitted
to a really good school. Everything went well.

Speaker 4 (15:07):
I was accepted for a loan for about eighty K.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
My mom's father left her and her brother, my uncle,
a significant bit of inheritance, and recently my mom and
uncle got involved in a tax problem with a company
leasing out the property that was left to them. Long
story short, the company hadn't paid the applicable tax and
the government contacted my mom and uncle about it since
they are the owners of the building, and asked them

(15:32):
to pay up. This tax is also.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
A significant amount.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Last week, she said that she wants to pay her
share of the tax from my student loan. I am
pretty hesitant because I want to use this loan as
little as possible. When I start classes, I'm going to
work part time and I'm also going to look for
a teaching assistant ship to make some money.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
I told her that I'll think about.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
It, which brings us to today, where she brought it
up again. I asked her if she would pay back
the money that she would be borrowing and the interests,
and she said that yes. Once the company pays back
my uncle and her she will.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
Yeah, I don't trust that.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
You have to ask yourself, is why is a bank
not giving them alone?

Speaker 2 (16:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (16:13):
And why should you not give them alone either?

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Exactly?

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Exactly, because it's all gonna fall on you and we
can't even like, first of all, we can't trust the
mom and the uncle. Second all, we can't trust this
random company that's like doing all this tax stuff. It
seems suspicious. I don't know all the details of their
tax thing, but it doesn't feel exactly right. Yes, so
I would not trust them to pay.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Back your loan for college.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
And also I would just be like, uh, sorry, those
I can't those are for student you know.

Speaker 4 (16:45):
You're like guys for college, Like, no, not your loan.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
It's you're wrong.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
You say the government is looking into it right now,
So yeah, you don't want them looking at it exactly.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
I asked her why they aren't suing the company, because
they are pretty much violating their leasing agreement, and she
said that they don't want to get involved in the
legal hassle.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
It seems like you're creating other legal hassles.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
Plus, the deadline to pay the tax is March of
next year. If they don't, then they will lose their building.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
She could see that I was hesitant, so she said
that in case the company doesn't pay up, she can
dip into her savings, which are around sixty K in cash,
not including deposits or other inheritance and my dad's savings,
and she can pay me back. Then do that.

Speaker 4 (17:29):
Yeah, so then I do that now.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
So then I said, why don't you pay off the
tax from your savings and get reimbursed from the company later.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah, like you're totally bringing in OP that does not
need to be involved at all. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
Stop trying to steal your child's money. Yeah, the company
has to pay up either way. The amount of money
owed is around fifteen K. This is when she got
mad at me. She started saying that she has been
independent in all her life and has never had to
ask money from anyone, and I should be more understanding.
Thing is, you're not asking for money that Open he has.

(18:01):
You're asking for money that the government is giving to OP. Yeah,
that's got interest on it, got interest that OPS to
pay off. Yeah, it's not money that exists in Op's account.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Right, And it's it's just the argument of like Oh,
like I never asked you for anything? Like, can you
just do this one thing that I'm asking you now?
It's like, I've never asked anyone from I have never
asked money from anyone in my whole life, So can't
I just ask it from.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
You right now? A g I've never asked you for
money before. Please give me a million dollars.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
See, I can't do that, that's the idea.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
Literally, never asked you for money and give me.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
Now that's the problem.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
She doesn't get it. Her savings are her retirement plan
and she doesn't want to use them. At the moment,
she got pretty snarky and told me that if I'm
going to be this selfish, she can make other arrangements.
Then do that. Yeah, do that perfect. Here's the thing.
I worked for eight months and saved up money, which
I used to pay for all my examination fees, the

(19:02):
college application fees, my ticket back home, loan processing fees.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
Literally everything.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
I did this because my mom and dad told me
that they won't be able to pay for my education,
and I did everything in my power to make sure
that they wouldn't have to spend money on me. And
now she got mad that I wouldn't let her take
the tax money from the student loan. While I do
trust her to pay me back. Until she does, all
the money will be gathering a lot of interest, to
which I'm not sure she is going to pay back,
and I do not want that to burden me. I

(19:29):
should also mention that they were contacted about the tax
around January this year, and my parents still planned a
very expensive family vacation this year. I was really against
this idea, and so that they should save up for
the tax thing.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
That's wild, Yeah, paying money for other things.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
They don't even have that money. They don't. They don't.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
I would say, Oh, well, it seems like you're able
to still go on this vacation, so I don't think
I need to help you.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Was I wrong to be hesitant? How do I keep
enforcing this boundary with her? I feel bad now that
she's upset. I need your advice, Reddit and edit's adding
this because I forgot to mention. She told me that
she doesn't want to do this, but she's asking me
because it's a problem. I understand and empathize. My dad's
business is taking way too long to recover. But what
gets me is that she has the savings. Why can't

(20:16):
she just use them now and get reimbursed later. Edit
number one just clarifying because I should have mentioned before
the inheritance was mostly property in fixed deposits.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
There wasn't much liquid cash.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
The property is still there, obviously, and the fixed deposits
are there too. I check the papers. She just doesn't
want to use them. Her savings converted to the local
currency is not a bad amount at all. I put
everything in USD for universality. Got another edit.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
Let's see this, see this? See Shall we read that?

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Or do you have it?

Speaker 2 (20:46):
What are your thoughts before we get into that.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
My thoughts are do not give your parents your student
loan money?

Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah? No, I know? And oh at a number two.
Thank you to everybody for your insight. I just wanted
to add an update as I have been thinking a
lot since I made this post on Reddit. I agree
with you all when you say that it was not
right of her to ask and put me in a
spot like this. When I made this post, I was
feeling guilty for making her feel bad, But since then

(21:14):
I feel bad that she would a be possibly hiding.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Something from me.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
As some of you suggested, be consider putting me in
this situation and react that way when I offer solutions.
That is all I wanted to say for now. I
shall update to get in soon and we do have
a little ended as well. I made the last update
and went to bed soon after and was not expecting
so much support. Thank you everyone for your advice. I've
read all the comments and definitely agree with you all

(21:38):
that loaning her the money will be a bad idea.
Someone said that my father does not know, and I
suspect the same. Oh. Interesting, I'm going to talk to
him about this and see what he has to say.
I didn't even think about that talking to the dad,
seeing if he knows about all. Oh, I thought he
was in on it.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
It was the mom and uncle. So the mom and
her brother.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
Yeah yeah, a little yeah scam artists, I believe.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
So thank you once again to everyone who took time
out to comment. Sorry for the long post. You don't
ever have to apologize. Ope, but we do have an
official update social updates.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah, this all just sounds a little fishy, dude. This
is like what the you know scammers email you about.
They're like, you send us some of your loan and
you go wow, it's a scam. Yeah, just because it's
your mom doesn't mean it's not a scam.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Exactly.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
Don't click on any links that she sends you.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
I want to update you about the events that happened
after I made my first post. First of all, like
some of you suggested, I talked.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
To my father about my mother's demands.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
I suspected that he did not know, and I was right.
He thought it was ridiculous that she asked me because
A it would be illegal if I agreed, like many
of you said, yup, and B it's not right of
her to put me in that spot. Yepp. He then
told me that he has offered her a gamut of
options to solve this Uh really quickly, Can.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
I just say I love that it is too points
are that it's illegal and wrong. Yeah, it's illegal in bed, which.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
The two most obvious points. Yes. Absolutely. He then told
me that he has offered her a gamut of options
to solve this problem. Lawyers to take legal action against
the company, former director of the company, whom he knows
and who may be able to get my mother in
touch with the correct person, and even letting the government
know that the company has been breaching in the contract.
But apparently she has not shown much interest in any

(23:28):
of those solutions because they require efforts and time from
her side, which makes him think that she is hiding something,
which most.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
Of you thought and I would have to agree.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yesterday, the topic of my loan came up, and I
firmly told her that it is illegal and neither can
I afford it, so she shouldn't hope that I am
able to help her. I did say that I will
help her figure out legal options or even the best
way to take a loan to pay off this debt.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
She's my mother and I do love her. Yeah, scam artist,
you love us, You love a scam A scam artist.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
This summer on Tales see my scam artist Mom.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
That being said, I should have mentioned that she is
a self absorbed person, and the sad part is that
she doesn't even know how her actions affect others. My brothers,
both nineteen, told me that they had told her repeatedly
that it was a very bad idea to take an
expensive vacation with this looming tax problem. She didn't listen
and did what she wanted. There is a little bit
more to the story. Yeah, but I am so glad

(24:24):
that she's standing up and not let this happened. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
I mean again, a lot of people get swindled by
family members because they're family members.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
And you're like, oh, well I gotta trust my family.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
No, no, trust the legal cyst. Well maybe you shouldn't
trust the legal system all the time, but don't trust them. Yeah,
don't trust your mom, your swindling mom exactly.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
Again, so love the dad is like, hey, that's illegal, dude,
it's illegal, and it's wrong and is just wrong and
it's just gross. It is gross, it's just gross. Fraud
is bad, fraud is mad. But like this fraud is
really bad.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
Yeah. Yeah, don't defraud your own children.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yeah, so please, it's so not in it's so last
year year, Yes, fraudy and children yeahugh, so goos so
two thousand and late.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, there is a little bit more into the story.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
I thought over her actions for the past few years,
and they are indeed very self centered. The money that
she makes every month is more than the combined salary
that both parents of some of my friends make, and
yet she is always complaining about money. She's living under
some illusion that someone will rescue her from this crisis,
not realizing that she has to take some action. I
don't mean to rant about her, but it saddened me

(25:49):
a bit to know that she is so reckless with
her money and then considered jeopardizing my education. Again, thank
you for everyone for your advice and support. And that
is the end of that story. Well, there you go,
there you go. Yeah, this mom's just running away from
our problems.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
Yeah, were indebts man, yeah, man, or like, I don't
know how I'm the company until they pay you your
fifteen K.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:14):
Why do you need all of op's student loans?

Speaker 1 (26:18):
You really really don't. You don't You just don't need them.

Speaker 4 (26:21):
Yeah, but that is the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
My father demands his gifts back after finding out their
high value.

Speaker 4 (26:30):
What about finers keepers, losers weepers?

Speaker 3 (26:33):
I nineteen mail was gifted my dad's sports card collection
for my eighteenth birthday. He had boxes of them from
when he was growing up. I started looking into how
you could get them graded. I finally shipped the best
ones out a few months ago and just got them
back last week. By the way, this comes from Appropriate
Skill thirty two and if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Separate too.

(26:55):
I was happy to see how highly some of them
were graded. I researched what these cards would go for,
and my job dropped. Put your guesses in, what are
we thinking? How much are they each?

Speaker 2 (27:07):
One is five hundred dollars?

Speaker 4 (27:10):
Five hundred dollars?

Speaker 1 (27:12):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (27:13):
Was the answer, depending on the vintage, like how old
the cards are, and like how high they're graded? And
like who the players are? You're talking about thousands of dollars? Oh?

Speaker 1 (27:22):
Really, guy?

Speaker 2 (27:23):
Like thousands? Screaming? I think the most expensive card I
saw come into the store that some guy just randomly
brought in was like, I don't know what I have.
It's like a fifteen thousand dollar Michael Jordan's signature card.

Speaker 4 (27:34):
Ooh wow, that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
This money would help me pay for college and I
would still have a decent amount left over. I was
visiting my parents and my dad mentioned something about those cards.
I made the mistake of saying how much some of
these cards were worth. He didn't have much of a
reaction that night. The next day I got a long
text from my dad saying that he gave it some
thought and wanted his cards back. The money would help

(28:00):
him and my mom pay for their dream vacation. I
thought it was a joke, but he was serious. Well,
when you put it that way, my college is irrelevant.
You need pay vacation.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Who cares about my education? I told them.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
Sorry, but they were a gift and I intended on
using this money for college. Since then, I've been getting
hurtful text from my parents telling me how selfish I am.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
That's funny.

Speaker 4 (28:26):
So then do you guys want to help me pay
for my college? And it's like, who's pending for the college? Yeah,
he's doing that.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, they say I'm an a hole for wanting to
sell these cards because they were a gift, even though
they would do the same thing if I gave them back.
I plan on getting my dad a cool gift for
his birthday with some of my money, but I'm starting
to think he doesn't deserve anything at all. Am I
the a whole and there are some relevant comments and
an update?

Speaker 2 (28:51):
But what say you? I'm considering like how valuable these
might be I can pay for college and then.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
Means exactly, yeah, yes, that would be like I mean,
the last story had a loan of eighty K for
Collins so it's I can be way over that relevant
comments normally not.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
The ale depends in the situation. Have your parents been
financially supporting you? Edit? Not necessarily an a hole, but
I'd be cautious. Creating a divide between you and your
parents might not be worth it. But is it worth
going into debts?

Speaker 2 (29:24):
But hold on, I'm out though he's not creating the divide.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Also, yeah he's not.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
That's creating the divide by being shamelessly selfishly give me
back the things that are worth money again right after
we found out that they were.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
Let's just put this just imagine someone gives you a
gift and you're like, oh my god, thank you, and
then they come back two weeks later. Not that they
came back two weeks later, but they come back two
weeks later. Hypothetically they're like, I want that back, give
it back to me.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. You don't do that.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
You can't just take back a gift.

Speaker 4 (30:03):
Yeah, I agree, I agree.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
Opie says they paid for a little under half of
my first semester of college. Other than that, I support myself.
Deleted says were they going to continue to help with college?
Because If yes, they now have that money to save
up for their dream vacation. Opie says, I doubt it.
They were pretty pissed at what school I chose. Might
have been an excuse to get me to pay for
my own college, but I don't know. This situation kind

(30:26):
of has me rethinking everything.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Who not?

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Mike Jones says, not the ale and I think it's
good to mention if you know about sports cards and
getting them greater right now.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
It's not cheap.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
Last time I looked at Panini for grading, it was
one hundred and fifty per card.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
Just make sure you check comps before selling. Don't let
anyone rip you off. Also, please use PayPal for payments.
I'll have your back if you get scammed. Unfortunately, there's
a lot of scamming in the card world. Yep, it
is not cheap at all. That's why it took me
so long to send only my best ones out. Peanut
Buttercups says, info around how much of the cards going for?

(31:02):
How is your relationship with your parents? Do you like sports?
Trying to see if your dad was well meaning when
he gave them to you. It's a gift he gave you,
and it's kind of crappy to ask for it back
now that it's worth more than sentimental value. The most
expensive card usually sells for about fifty K.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
That's wow on card, much.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
More than any of us said I want.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
I'm like, yeah, now we said a thousand, We said
like thousands.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
So because that card is worth fifty k, it is
true when you send that in to get graded, that's
going to cost you like seven or eight hundred dollars. Yeah, once,
once they determine it's worth that much. That's that's how
they charge you.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Oh oh, we mentioned that when he sent these in
for grading, he only sent a few of them. He
just sent like the the best cards, so it's there
could be so much more value.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
And the rest of them. Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (31:57):
My relationship with my parents is usually good, but as
gotten worse over the past year. They wanted me to
go to a school closer to home, but I didn't.
I'm still in state. I love sports, so I guess
I would understand why they're upset if they weren't planning
on selling the cards for themselves. And there is an update,
but ohp, you were not the a hole. They're trying
to take your money that you're not like. Oh again,

(32:21):
I mean they gave it as a gift, so really
just messed up in general, regardless of what you were
using it for. To ask for back, but you're using
it for school. Yeah, most parents would be over the
moon to find out that their child doesn't have to
take on debt, yeah, to get like to go get
an education exactly. So just the fact that your parents
are focused more on their dream vacation than you getting

(32:44):
a good education, yeah, is very telling. Yeah, there is
an update. First of all, thanks to the majority of
people saying I'm not the a hole. There was some
everyone secks here and if you you're the a hole
sprinkled in, but thanks for the input. I didn't want
to lose my relationship with my parents over this, so
I decided to compromise.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
My idea was to keep the cards and handle the
sales myself. However, I would communicate each sale with my
parents and come up with a fair split to pay
for college and their vacation. I told my parents we
could meet up on Monday and discuss the situation. Unfortunately,
they continued to pester me over the days leading up
to our talk. Apparently having to work on Mother's Day
was just an excuse by me to avoid talking to

(33:26):
them about cards. By the time we met, I was
pretty tired of their crap. I could be the ale
for this, but I decided to test them. I lied
and told them they could have the cards if they
paid me back the cost of getting them graded.

Speaker 4 (33:38):
That's what I was thinking. Yeah, they would at least
have to do that.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Yeah, at the very least, you say, okay, okay, Well,
if you want the money, then you should grade them.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, you should.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
You should be participant in what I had to go
through to get them.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Yeah, you know exactly. Price that way.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
When I told them the price, they didn't believe me.
I was accused of lying to get more money out
of this, and I realized it wasn't worth proofing. They
wanted everything and there was no compromise to be made.
I told them not to contact me and that I'd
only be around to see my brother and go to
other family events. So that's how it went. Glad they
care more about the money than me. I've been trying
to keep together, but it's been hard. Thankfully, my girlfriend

(34:14):
has been around to comfort me.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
She's the best. Maybe I'll use some of that extra
money on a vacation for us.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
I haven't heard anything from other family yet, so I
don't know how this is all going to play out.
Guess all I can do now is work on getting
those cards sold and hope for the best realm and commons.
Karash says, split the money with your brother, keep it
in your name, but earmark the proceeds for both your
college educations. Opie says, I've definitely thought about doing that.
He's still a few years away from finishing high school,
so maybe that will be a good graduation gift. Update

(34:43):
two earlier today, I had my first family party to
go to since everything went down. I guess word kind
of got around about what happened, because I had some
family members ask me if I was all right over text.
At Least they're not like, how dare you not give
your parents money?

Speaker 4 (35:00):
At least they're, you know, seemingly a little bit more reasonable.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
Right.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
My parents were not at the party while I was there,
not sure if they showed up at all. Everything seemed
to be fine with the rest of the family. Nobody
treated me any different. Well, clearly, your parents have a
reputation in the family.

Speaker 4 (35:15):
Yeah, there is a little bit left to the story.
Any final thoughts.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Just same kind of thing. I think that would be.
That would be pretty cool of you, as like a
big brother move to just like give your your little
brother some money for graduation, because that was a typical
graduation gift is like a little bit of money.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
Yeah, well you sometimes it can be like like I
got uh vacation money.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
You know, that was kind of like everyone chipped into
a fund.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
Oh that's cool.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Yeah, so sometimes that's a good graduation gift. You can
kind of talk to him about it and say, do
you want this to go towards college?

Speaker 1 (35:47):
Want a vacation?

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be pretty cool. But there
is a little bit left. Okay.

Speaker 3 (35:54):
In my last post, people were telling me to save
some money for my brother, which was a great idea.
I'll have to do that in secret when he graduates. Yeah,
don't tell your parents. Yeah definitely. I've decided to do
even more and start building a sports card collection of
my own. I can pass that down to my own
kids one day. I definitely feel better now that this
hasn't affected the relationship with the rest of my family.

(36:14):
I'm excited to take some beach trips with my girlfriends
so I can relax this summer. Also looking forward to
selling those cards. I promised a few of you to
send picks of my cards, so if you're reading this,
please remind me this is probably my last update, so
thanks again for the supports. In comments, comment one says
money always brings out the worst in people and messes
up family relationships. Reply says that and the reading of wills.

(36:38):
When one of my paternal great aunts passed away, people
through fits because they were given a smaller part of
the pie or none than they had expected. There were
a lot of furniture pieces that we were hoping to
keep within the family. However, we ended up having to
sell almost everything and buy ourselves what we wanted to keep,
all because some people were greedy and wanted a few blocks.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
We had a.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
Gorgeous antique pie safe that one of my cousins wanted
to keep, as it had been owned by my great
aunt's parents or grandparents, so real potential to become a
family heirloom. But by the time it was all over,
he didn't want it anymore because it would have just
reminded him of the nastiness. Ironically, by what you want
to keep was how my grandmother avoided the stupid fights.

(37:18):
Her will went Roughly, all sentimental objects that have sufficient
quantity to do so are split up between the kids
and grandkids. Executor goes to the house and puts a
price stack on literally everything else, with the help of
an appraiser if need be. All family members can come
to the house and buy whatever they want to keep
and or negotiate with an executor or have a bidding
war if two people want the same thing, including the

(37:39):
house itself. If someone actually wants it, after that, executor
has a yard sale with all the prices remaining intact,
no family allowed.

Speaker 4 (37:46):
Executor sells the house if no one in the family
bought it.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
Executor takes all the money earned from all previous steps
and splits it seven ways among my kids after paying
a state expenses.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
That's really interesting. You'll get that money back, or like,
at least some of it, you know.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Well, no, it was so all of the money. Yeah,
that is being like all this furniture and stuff that's
being sold. Instead of having to everyone fight over what
they want, it just is split up between all the games.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
That sounds great.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
You'd think this.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
Would be possibly contentious, but fortunately everyone trusted my dad,
who was the executor, to be scrupulously fair about the
whole process. Comment two says, Plus, how crappy of a parent?
Do you have to beat a loser kid over a
dream vacation? Comment three? They want to go on vacation
and he wants to pay for college. His parents already
don't support him, and now that he did the work

(38:35):
getting the cars valued, they want the money.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
Pushmatic.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
Yeah, but that, folks, is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
Hey, John og host here, we're gonna get back to
this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads
from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

Speaker 4 (38:51):
I started dating my best friend's ex husband.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
It went nuclear. I have been best friends with Anna
since we were eighteen in college. She married her now
X when she was twenty four, but left him three
years ago to move in with her a fair partner
a few states away. They have two boys together, eight
male and six mail. Her ex, who will call Ben,
got full custody and Anna didn't really fight for it

(39:16):
and was happy to just pay child support. She's only
seen her boys less than five times since the divorce.
I'm a full time single mom. With a son of
my own six mail. I'm a trust fund baby, so
that's what supports us.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
Good for you guys.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
By the way, this comes from Throwaway xfx H and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the ur slash Okay Storytime subredit. I'm the godmother to
both of Honor's boys, and we all live in the
same neighborhood and their home is just a five minute
walk away from ours. Ben works full time and sometimes
has to work late in the office, so I usually
babysit the boys. I've been in their life since they

(39:50):
were born, so they've always been comfortable around me. My
son and his sons are really close too, since they
grew up together and are pretty much brothers at this point.

Speaker 4 (39:58):
It's a weird setup, but it works for us.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
I've had feelings for Ben for the longest time, but
didn't act on it because I didn't want to ruin
what we currently have. The divorce was hard on him too,
and I didn't want to make things even more difficult.
I don't I don't do what I do for his
family because I have feelings for him or anything. I
genuinely love those two little boys. Last night, technically, just

(40:23):
a few hours ago, I dropped my son off at
his house for a sleepover, and he insisted that he
walked me home. His mother was staying for a couple
of weeks, so the boys had someone to watch over them.
We took the longer fifteen minute route and ended up talking,
and he told me that he's had feelings for me
but was too afraid to say anything.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Too God whoa win twinsies?

Speaker 1 (40:46):
Well, long story, short week, hissed and now we're going
on a date next Friday.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Oh boy? And then surely be no consequences to these decisions?

Speaker 1 (40:56):
Not at all? It was magic. But now my question
is should I tell Anna? While the split hurt our friendship,
I'm still in contact with her and we talk about
two times a month or so. She's told me that
she still loves Ben and misses her kids and how
much she regrets leaving for richer man dang man. Oh.

(41:16):
Then she posts pictures all lovey dovey with him somewhere overseas.
She's been unstable for the last couple of years, which
is why I remained in contact with her as her
support system. But I sometimes consider cutting her off because
she's toxic. Ben knows that we still communicate, but has
told me that he didn't want to know anything about
her and what she's up to. So should I give
Anna Anna a heads up and talk to her about it?

(41:38):
Is she even owed an explanation. I'm just afraid that
she might go nuclear if she finds out and somehow
involve the kids. Advice would be helpful, thank you very much,
And we do have some comments with advice, but Dakota, I.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Want to hear yours. I mean, okay, my issue with
this is I feel like, ohp He's trying to be like,
what do I do so that I get out of
this without anything happening.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Yeah, something's gonna happen.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
Yeah, you're gonna have to face that and deal with it,
is what you're gonna have to do.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:09):
So it's like, I guess, which do you want to
deal with the least?

Speaker 1 (42:13):
You know? Do you wanna end the friendship possibly or
do you wanna I don't know what.

Speaker 4 (42:20):
Is the other option.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
I feel like that's all that can happen.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
I feel like the only thing you can do is
just be like ever after this has happened, it's what's happening. Yeah,
and I know that you're gonna feel something about it,
so we can either try to talk it out or
just like have space or like no longer be friends.

(42:45):
But like, if you're gonna go through with, you know,
having a serious relationship with one of your best friends,
which I don't even know if she really is your
best friendly describing it, Yeah, you've been her support system,
but you're gonna have to be ready to completely let
it go for the relationship.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
But let's see what the comments say. Comming number one says,
why are you friends with her again? She cheated on
her husband, left him for a richer or fair partner,
pretty much ditched her children, and then has the audacity
to say that she loves her ex and misses her kids.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
How many times have you seen her in the last
three years?

Speaker 1 (43:17):
She doesn't have any right to know just yet, Wait
and see what develops with Ben, and then tell her
she will most likely try to sabotage your budding relationship
when she finds out.

Speaker 4 (43:25):
You and Ben should be prepared for that. Good luck.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
And Opie responds saying, I sometimes ask myself the same question.

Speaker 4 (43:32):
I guess it's the history.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
I don't know. She's lost friends over the years, and
I've pretty much been the only constant in her life.
And I'm not exactly sure about her logic, but I
do have a feeling that she's being somewhat honest about
still being in love with Ben in her own twisted way.

Speaker 4 (43:45):
I've seen her about as many times as she's seen
her kids.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Like I said, I'm around a lot, and I see
her boys pretty much every day.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Dang. Okay, so she's not really your best friend. You've
seen her five times in three years. Yeah, you could
do what if you want. I just prepare for her
to be upset. Of course she's gonna be mad. Yeah, Well,
like I don't even know if mad is that I would.
She's not going to like it now, so you know,
But is it really any of her business if she
just up and left and like basically was like, I'll

(44:14):
just pay child's pour it outill hardly some of my kids.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
Well got yourself into that, sorry, dude, Someone else responds,
there's a big lack of empathy and consideration here. You
should keep in mind that Anna is a human being
with her own story as well, and condemning her this
and condemning her this hard is a bit much. We
don't know her part of the story. What we do know, however,
is that she told OPI about her feelings and that
they consider each other friends. Since everything else is subjective,

(44:40):
I'd say that we can all determine. I'd say all
we can determine is that there's good that there's good
reason to assume that Anna might want to be informed,
and equally good reason to actually do so. So Opie,
in my opinion, you should tell her. You don't need
to take crap, and you can react to her reaction
however you feel appropriate. But from so what we know,

(45:00):
it seems like you should tell her that.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
And there is an update. Do we think she's gonna
tell her?

Speaker 2 (45:05):
Yeah, I think she will because the Internet has told
her to. I just think you need to know what
you're You know, this is a nuclear arsenal you are
messing around with here, so it's like you just have
to own that, own it.

Speaker 4 (45:22):
But we do have an update. So, first of all,
thank you for all the advice.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
I got a lot of mixed replies, ranging from telling
her and not telling her, or letting Ben tell her.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
That's a good option. I didn't even think of that.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
So the day after I posted, I went to Ben's
house to help the kids with their homeschooling. As always, Ben,
his mom, and the kids all surprised me with a
big breakfast, which was really lovely. After that, Ben's mom
said that she'd help the kids for now and that
Ben and I had a little talk about Anna. He
told me that he wants to tell her himself, since
he was the one who asked me out, and I agreed.

(45:55):
Later in the day, I got an angry call from Anna,
calling me a man stealer, what and a bunch of
nasty things. Apparently, since we were friends, Ben was supposed
to be off limits.

Speaker 4 (46:06):
She told me how I stole the love of her life.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
I guess she wanted to come back after milking the
new guy.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
She can steal anything. You threw it away. Yeah, it's
not your pro it's not yours anymore.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
Exactly. I'm not very good at dealing with confrontation, so
I just hung up, blocked her, and cried, I'm pretty
sure the friendship is over at this point and there
is no going back. Ben later told me that when
he told Anna, he got the same bs about how
she still loved him wanted to come home et cetera.

Speaker 4 (46:42):
Then, when he said that he was going to start
dating me.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
Gush, her tone change to her fighting him for custody.
Ben assured me that he talked to his lawyers and
it would be very unlikely that she would win, especially
since she's barely seen them since the divorce. It's also
worth noting that Anna's new boyfriend is child free. She
told me so, I doubt that he would relative the
thought of a couple of kids wreaking havoc in his
fancy condo in the city.

Speaker 4 (47:05):
Friday's date was amazing. That's good.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
Ben took me out for a drive and we ended
up having dinner on the beach with meals him and
his mom cooked. Without boring you guys with too much detail.
We're both into each other and have been for the
longest time, two years for me and a year for
him after he fully got over on him. He's always
wanted to ask me out, but was too afraid to
do so till his mom scared him by saying some

(47:29):
other guy would snap me up. Thanks for the assist,
Ben's mom. We already have a pseudo blended family thing
going on. I mean, my son goes with them when
they go camping, fishing, and all of the father son's stuff.
Ben's pretty much the closest thing to a dad my
boy has ever had. All We're definitely not rushing into
things and have agreed that whatever happens between us stays

(47:51):
between us. He's still going to be there for my son,
and I'm definitely going to be there for his kids.
Adjustment shouldn't be hard because we're always around each other anyway.
I spend just as much time at his place as
I do in my own home. We both want the
same things in life and are pretty much on the
same page at the moment. I don't really want to
push too much pressure on this, but it does feel
like it could be a real thing. I'm still sad

(48:13):
about the situation with Anna and how our friendship ended,
but trading a toxic friend for a loving boyfriend is
something that I would do any day of the week.
I had to block her on everything, but I still
get messages from some of our or my old friends
asking me what was going on because they know that
Anna is a bit nuts. So it was a bit
awkward having to explain the whole thing to a bunch

(48:34):
of people.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
You know. Again, this is my whole beef with this
story is it's I mean, everything was done right. It
sounds like because it's like years after the divorce and
they it main you know, it wasn't this like mischievous,
insidious plot op. He had to like slowly like take
bend exactly. But just know that, Like if you're gonna

(48:59):
get with someone who was your friend's ex husband and
they had a nasty divorce and she's all messed up
about it, yeah, then you start dating him. Yeah, she's
gonna hate that. Just like, don't even question if it's like, oh, well,
can we work Nope, just know she's gonna hate you. Yeah,
and or at least expect that. I mean, who knows,

(49:20):
Like if you have a vulnerable conversation about it, who
knows what could come of it?

Speaker 1 (49:25):
Yeah? I feel like she you definitely knew how it
was gonna turn out, and then it went exactly how
you expected. And but it's fine because again, like you said,
traded a toxic girl friend or like you know, friend
that's a girl for a loving boyfriend.

Speaker 4 (49:41):
So it's a win in your case.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
There's a little bit more to this story. Overall, things
are good. I may have lost a friend, but as
many of you pointed out, she wasn't much of a
friend anyway. I'm not sure when we're planning on telling
the kids, but we already spend most holidays together, so
there's no real rush if we wait. Any advice on
this would be helpful. By the way, again, thanks Reddit.

(50:05):
I think I needed to hear how toxic honor was
that I needed to cut her off. As you guys said,
it's none of her business now and edit, thank you
guys so much for the kind responses and well wishes.
Lots of people are asking me to update in the future,
so maybe I might do so if the mods allow
me to. Maybe when we get married ha ha ha.
But still a lot to deal with regarding telling the

(50:26):
kids and dealing with Anna. But Ben and I talked
and I'm confident that we can make it through. And
that is the end of that story. Boom, pretty good. Yeah,
you could probably with the kids. I mean, I've never
been in her situation, don't have kids, not married, uh,
not divorced, whatever her situation is, but probably you know,

(50:49):
wait for the relationship to get a little bit more
established and like a little more serious and confident in
the relationship and then and then maybe you could tell them,
you know, you don't want to tell them like the
first week, your day and then break up and be.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Like what Yeah. Again, it's like different depending on she
just doesn't sound like she's actually your best friend. If
someone's close to you, I would ten out of ten
times be like, hey, if I date your exeah, is
that going to literally ruin our entire friendship right before
anything happens. Yeah. So, but we didn't really have to

(51:24):
do that in this situation because she was toxic and
just abandoned her family, so she I think there was
a comment that was perfect. It was like, it's like
putting a couch on the curb that has a big
free sign on it and then calling the police on
the person who takes it.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
Yeah, that's that's a great analogy.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Gave it up.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
That's exactly what happened.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Shout out that comment or I can't. I don't know
what your name was, but my best friend accused my
husband of cheating.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
But I know it's not true, NAEs, it's not true.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Sure about that? So?

Speaker 2 (51:58):
I twenty nine met my best friend Sarah twenty nine
and husband thirty one when I was eleven, I just
moved to a new country with my family and my
now sister in law introduced me to Sarah twenty nine.
Now that were adults. We share some friends, but we
each have different groups to do different things. By the way,
this comes from user throwaway bad BF and if you

(52:21):
want to submit your own stories, go to the our
slash Okay storytime subprend it. So usually I'm working in
the office from nine am to two pm, and I
have a thirty minute break that I usually take to
have my second breakfast, and sometimes I go to my
husband's office which is five minutes away walking or a
cafe near my job. Sometimes I have to work out

(52:43):
of my office or go to another city. Every now
and then, I mentioned to Sarah if I have to
travel for work during the week in casual conversation. Last week,
I had to travel for work on Wednesday, but Tuesday
night there was a red alert about the weather the
next day, so my work thing was canceled and I
stayed home with my two year old. My husband went
out at six am to make sure his business was

(53:04):
closed and put up some flood protection and by seven
thirty am he was back at home making breakfast. It
didn't start raining until one pm. At three pm, Sarah
sent a message asking if I was at home already
because it was flooding where I was traveling, and I
just texted back, I'm home safe. We literally didn't go
out until Friday. Saturday, Sarah and I go to the

(53:26):
same gym class. She told me we needed to talk
in private, so we went to my car and she
told me, basically, quote, on Wednesday, I saw your husband
with a woman and they were making out, and your
kid was in the car, not with a kid.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
Leave them out of it.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
That kid's guilty. Why didn't that kid stop his dad?

Speaker 4 (53:47):
Wow, the kid is the a hole here.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
I was frozen for a bit. Then I remembered that
I was working from home with my husband and my
baby for two days. I realized she was lying, but
I didn't understand anything. I asked three times if she
was sure it was this week's Wednesday. She confirmed it
three times. I asked her about the time, and she

(54:12):
said about eleven am. I asked if it was during
the red alert, and she said yes. I asked her
if she was one hundred percent sure, and she launched
a whole description of my husband mackin with a gorgeous
Barbie lookalike blonde girl in his car in front of
our kid near his office during the Red alert. So

(54:32):
he was putting my son at risk and cheating in
front of him.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
Ew you but like, but he wasn't. If it was
this Wednesday, then no. But if it was last Wednesday, okay, right.

Speaker 2 (54:44):
Because it's the time. The time's not timing right. Anyways.
I told her my work thing was suspended because of
the Red alert, and we were both home the whole
time it was activated. She tried to say she got
confused with the days, but she had confirmed it three times.
I told her to leave, and she left running. I

(55:07):
just imagine, like.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
She just takes off in a sprint, running away from you,
say like can you you're wrong?

Speaker 2 (55:18):
Leave and she's just pure raw athletic power. I went
home and did the whole betrayed spouse house search. There
was no hidden phone. I have all the passwords to
every device in the house, and not for lack of trust.
It's because I manage part of his business and he's
bad with passwords. I even looked after hidden emails, and

(55:40):
the only thing he was hiding was his paranormal podcast
he listens to sometimes, Hey, embrace that buddy, what are
you doing hight huh. That night I told my husband
what was going on, and he denied ever cheating and
even worse, disrespecting his own son that way, I believe
him one hundred percent. There wasn't a change in his

(56:01):
behavior or routine. He gave up his phone what He
gave up his phone right away, and I told him
I already checked everything in the house, and he told
me to check his car. Then we decided to call
Sarah together. She picked up the third call and she
was crying. I told her to just tell me why
she lied. She swore she wasn't lying, but told me
she got confused with Monday. I told her Monday, our

(56:23):
son was in daycare and we had breakfast during my
break So at what time did my husband go take
our son out of daycare, go to pick up this
girl to make out with in front of my baby,
and then back to the daycare for me to pick
him up and then have breakfast with me.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
Make it makes sense, Sarah.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
You're not making any sense, Sarah. She cried more huh
and told me she didn't know. So my husband told
her to cut the crap if she had at least
a shred of decency and tell us why she was lying.
She said she was sorry and hung up, and then
had the audacity to block us. I told the friends

(57:05):
we had in common with her, and everyone is mad
and can't explain what happened to her. She's not picking
up the phone, but sent a message back saying she
was sick. Some of them asked her why she was lying,
and she blocked them. Someone even called her mom, and
she is just as shocked. No one understands what's going on. Dude,
they called them mom.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
They must just be concerned.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
They're like, this isn't why would Sarah do this? Olkham's
razor is basically that it's like, if it walks like
a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck.
Ah right, Yeah, it's that the most lie, the most
sensible solution is often sure, the most likely. Sure. I
think she just wants her husband. She's trying to break

(57:47):
them up so that she can swoop in and take
her man. Yeah, yeah, it's like it it's that simple,
and she's probably just not very good at it.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Maybe she's not the best I.

Speaker 2 (57:59):
Thought, baby, it was a crush, right, But my husband
never liked her that much, so he didn't pay attention
to her. She isn't even added to his socials because
she never liked her when Sarah was his sister's friend
or when she became my friend too.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
If anyone understands that, if anyone knows what that.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
Means throughout the translation in the chat for the love
of God.

Speaker 4 (58:25):
But I'm thinking we can figure it out what context.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
But hey, OPI, I just want to tell you right away,
people who like have like infatuations with others. It doesn't
have anything to do with them liking them back. You know,
like that guy who drove like his car through Jennifer
Aniston's front gate. I don't think he did it because
he knows Jennifer Aniston likes him back. The point being,
crushes can be one way, Opie. They don't interact unless

(58:49):
it's necessary to say. She got a crush so big
she thought it was worth it to try to break
a family apart is a stretch. I do know that
sometimes she gossips a little too much, or so time
she talks about things she shouldn't, But I never thought
it would develop into something this big. I had this
girl at my side for really hard moments, and I
had her back when she needed me.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Uh uh.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
She was one of the first people I told about
my wedding and pregnancy. I loved this girl since we
were little. I just don't understand and she's not talking
to anyone. Comments Before we get into those comments, do
we have any comments here? Do I ever? Oh?

Speaker 3 (59:30):
Boy?

Speaker 2 (59:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (59:31):
I feel like this is just this is like, okay,
what's going on over here?

Speaker 2 (59:35):
Yeah? Uh?

Speaker 4 (59:37):
Little rascal, little rascal? Little what's her name?

Speaker 2 (59:40):
Abe?

Speaker 1 (59:43):
What's her name is it? Amy?

Speaker 2 (59:44):
No?

Speaker 1 (59:45):
Sarah s Sarah, Sarah, Sarah? What are you doing?

Speaker 2 (59:49):
Sarah?

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Yeah? I feel like OPI, you can probably trust your
husband because there's more to the story. Who knows if
that's actually true, but you could probably trust your husband
in that he doesn't like her, and she's just going
a little little cuckoo with with love, cuckoo with her
crush of Opie's husband.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
She got that cuckoo crush cuckoo crush exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
Let's see what.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
The Internet has to say. Comment number one. She wants
you to be single so you're free to hang out
with her. Oh, she wants your husband to be free,
but why she wanted to stir up drama? These are
all like potential reasons she's done this that a commenter
is listing. Yep, she was mistaken, but regardless of her reason,
she's not a good friend and you're right to distance

(01:00:33):
yourself from her. A reply is maybe misery love's company
A jealousy seems to be the most logical explanation here.
This is the kind of crap I see my mom doing,
just making up stuff about people in order to stir
up crap because she's so miserable in her own life.
Dang man, that do be going around comment to is

(01:00:53):
Sarah having a mental breakdown? It would be very strange
if she was previously a good friend and then suddenly
starts sabbage taujing your relationship, not you, but someone else
should take her for a mental health check. Reply. As
a former nurse, this is the first thing that popped
into my mind, especially when we learn how she responds
to others who find out. It looks like so much

(01:01:14):
more than jealousy. She is the right a she's in
the right age range for certain types of mental health issues. Also,
good job letting others know, including her mom, but keep
your eyes open. This could be the end of things
with her, but it could certainly veer off into crazy town.
To be safe. Comment three, What is Sarah's living situation?

(01:01:34):
If you don't tell us she's married and lives with
a partner and went through a breakup, has kids, What
does she do for work, etc. How often do you
guys hang out. I'm assuming she is single, as you
called her mom and not her partner, but telling us
a little more about her life might shed some light
on why she's acting so crazy. Can you think back
whether she's ever said anything negative about your husband before?

(01:01:58):
Have you spoken to your sister in law about this?
What does she think? Maybe the two of you should
pay Sarah a visit. Perhaps going without your husband might
make her more willing to tell you why she's making
stuff up about him, And maybe she had a brain tumor.
This is so strange. I honestly don't know without hearing
a bit more about her life. Opie says she's single

(01:02:19):
and never really liked being in relationships with no bad breakups.
She works from home in her field and was happy
with it. Our group of friends are her longest and
I would say main friendships, but she also has a
healthy social life outside of us. You know, if she
wants to make plans, she has people to do them. Also,
my husband and Sarah are not like rude to each other,

(01:02:40):
but Sarah knows that she isn't his favorite friend of mine,
but she never said something bad about him, at least
to my face. She was still invited to every cookout,
birthday or stuff like that. She was welcome in our
house and treated like any other guest. We usually see
each other once a week outside the gym, sometimes with
other friends, sometimes with my kid, sometimes alone. We don't

(01:03:00):
have a set schedule, but we make time. I admit
my sister in law went crazy on her on messages,
but she is currently living abroad, so I would say
that bridge is burned. Some friends are suggesting mental health
issues because she never did anything like this. But she's
still not talking and there's an update. I think maybe
it's not a crush.

Speaker 4 (01:03:19):
Yeah, maybe maybe there's a little more going on here now.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
And I have a little bit more Awkham on my razor.
I'm starting to see that maybe it is like the
I want my flan, Yeah, I don't and I and
I don't like your husband because he doesn't like me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
I think it definitely could be like she just needs
a friend, Like, yeah, maybe she's going through something and
she's missing her friends, or like maybe maybe expecting OP
to be there for her a little bit more, even
though she did mention that she has like more friends
and more of a support group or something, So I
don't know, maybe she just yeah, it just feels like

(01:03:57):
she can't be the only single one. She's like, hey,
guys over here, And it could just be the kind
of thing like maybe she's just going through her own thing.
You can be friends again at some point, but while
she's doing this and pulling all this crap, maybe not
the best time to hang out and see each other
all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Let's see what's in the update. So ooh, mama, I
got the truth finally and it was far more stupid
than I thought too. Oh boy. So Sarah's mom told
me to come to her house for a conversation with
Sarah and to bring a friend as a buffer. I
went for closure. She apologized a lot, but I literally

(01:04:36):
had to interrogate her to give me reasons, and I
finally got them. She lied because she was mad that
I missed our girl's trip a five girl group for
the second time, once because I had a two month
old baby, which and this year because I had to
work during August and it was the only month everyone

(01:04:59):
else was free.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
Your husband's cheating on you, Just come hang out with us, guy, Yeah,
you don't have time because you like are married or something.

Speaker 4 (01:05:07):
And even though that's not the reason. Well, your husband's
cheating on you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
I saw it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
Yeah, So also give him custody though, so that you're
free all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Yeah, and quit your job? Cut? Oh care about real?

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Could this be real?

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Listen?

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
It could?

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
It to me?

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
Totally? Could do some people?

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
I know it could.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
I had traded my vacations for December and extra day
as they owed me, so I'll be out of the
country from December to January tenth, and mister Birthday in
December and other winter activities in January. Her reasoning was
that if I thought my husband cheated, she was sure
I would leave, but he wouldn't let me take my
son abroad for too long without him, so I would

(01:05:49):
be forced to stay, but would be able to travel
during my husband's custody time. You were trying to like
home wreck these people over like a ski trip.

Speaker 4 (01:06:02):
We're gotta hit the slopes. It's important. God, I'm important.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
I don't know whether to be like impressed at your
dedication for hitting the slopes or horrified at your lack
of priorities.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
She was probably like really behind Gwyneth Paltrow and being
like she, yeah, she missed a whole half day of skiing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
She was just being mean and selfish because of a
trip that I missed and a birthday.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
She thought it would be okay to.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
Break my son's family apart so she can have all
of her friends for attention. I told her to never
contact me again and to avoid me everywhere. Don't come
to my house, don't call me. We're done. My friends
are aware to not invite me to things if she
is going to be there. But everyone is mad at her,

(01:06:51):
so she is the one not being invited honestly, like, yeah,
that is what you do. What has been done is
there's I have no thing to say, yeah, other than like,
my god, what a horrible friend.

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
Yeah, because that like because what if it worked, what
if he wasn't home and he was out of the
house and she was like, holy crap, my husband is
totally cheating on me in front of my child.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
She tried to she's doing She tried to break up
a family, home wreck a family for like having one
more friend around, like an aspen like you do the
Aspen trip, Like I just like, really like having five
friends instead of four, because five is a prime number.
And we're like and we're like the main characters exactly.
It's like if one of us isn't there, it's like

(01:07:37):
I even enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:38):
Give him all the custody of your child and come,
come skew with us, Come dance with us.

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
Girl, let's finish this. This is painful as heck, I
know it does, but it'll get better. I would have
been able to forgive and work on things if she
was having mental health issues or substance problems, but she wasn't.
I actually sent her mother recommendations for mental health professionals
during that week. Almost twenty years of friendship down the drain,

(01:08:04):
dang man, and you know what, hey because of her.
Because of her, I treat my closest friends like family,
because apart from my husband's family, I only have my
sister in this country. I make time for them, I
pay attention and help them when I can. I thought
she wanted the best for me as much as I
wanted the best for her. But lesson learned, I guess

(01:08:26):
and that is the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (01:08:30):
Wow, case closed.

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
Case closed. You know what, You can find a new group. Yeah, well, no,
you don't need to find a new group, because it
sounds like Sarah's gonna add it to find a new group.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
Yeah yeah, ugh ugh, yeah, Hey it's Sam.

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three
bits of ads from our sponsors that keep the show alive.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
My friend invited her friend to my house while I'm
away on vacation.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
Your house is her house.

Speaker 1 (01:09:01):
I admittedly put myself in this predicament last summer, I
reluctantly gave my friend permission to invite her friend and
son to swim with her while she was at my
house house sitting by the way. This comes from a
sweet lye b r LA And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the our slash Okay
storytime sepreddit. So I also have made it easy for
her to push the boundaries of using my house. We

(01:09:23):
live ten minutes from each other. We help each other
for vacations because we both have lots of pets. It's
nice to have someone you trust to take care of
them twice a day. But since she comes twice a
day and it's so close to her house, she will
spend most of the day at my house. She will
work from my house, and she has her son with
her too. She takes full advantage of getting them both
out of her small condo for a while. I'm okay

(01:09:44):
with it, even though I don't make myself quite that
at home when I take care of her house and
pets when she's gone. I'm more annoyed.

Speaker 4 (01:09:51):
By how she went about asking to have this friend over.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
Even though I know this other person fairly well, like
going to the same events over the years, I only
know her through my friend. I'd never text her myself
to hang out exclusively. She put her. She put me
in an awkward position by telling the person that she
was going to ask to ask me. Oh, that is
weird having the mutual friend asked for permission to hang
out to invite herself over, that is kind of yeah.

(01:10:17):
She even said that they wouldn't even go in the house,
just go through the gate. She would probably understand, but
it felt awkward to say you can come, but not her. Yeah,
we have a VACA coming up, and I know that
she's going to think that she can do this again.
How can I retract the invite? I thought about doing
the cowardly my husband said no, but I think that
they would take it as my husband not liking them

(01:10:39):
or something. I know it's my house and there's actual
technical reasons to say no, for liability reasons. I'm not
that uptight, and I trust both of these people. I
just don't want all.

Speaker 4 (01:10:50):
I just don't want a bunch of people in my
house while I'm not there.

Speaker 1 (01:10:54):
And there are some comments, but how do you how
do you think that she should retract this invite with
your mouth?

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
Oh, by saying hey, nah, you can't do that. Yeah, actually,
don't don't come in my house. I shouldn't feel like
it's like I'm, you know, leaving the house to my
teenager who's gonna throw a party in it, while I'm
for something like right.

Speaker 1 (01:11:13):
But we do have some comments. Comments Number one says,
I don't really get why you would care, since you
are not that uptight and you trust both of these
people after all, But if you don't want guests, to
tell her no, and blame the liability issue. I mean,
it's real, but it's going to sound kind of lame.
Don't blame your husband.

Speaker 4 (01:11:29):
That is even lamer if you're doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Because of how she asked. That seems kind of petty.
What I'd be curious about, though, is what the actual
truth is. Since you don't really say can you finish
this sentence? I really don't want you having people over
when I'm not there because because uh, be honest with
yourself and then decide what to do. I guess not
the a hole, but I don't really get it as presented.

(01:11:56):
Coming to No. Two says not the ahole. This is
your You have every right to ask for anyone coming
into your uh coming in to respect your space. It
feels like maybe saying yes to this guest will open
the door to her inviting more people over to your
house while you're out. The fact that she mentioned that
they will go around the gate and not through your
house seems like she already knows that you wouldn't be

(01:12:17):
that comfortable with this. But that doesn't mean the guest
won't be in your house, like to use the bathroom.
Just to be honest, just be honest with her and
tell her that you and your husband just aren't comfortable
having people over while you're out on top of safety
and liability concerns. If this is a true friend that
wants to keep this mutual pet sitting agreement going, she
will respect your wishes and Commentary number three says, it's

(01:12:40):
nice to have someone you trust to take care of
them twice a day.

Speaker 2 (01:12:43):
How nice?

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
Nice enough to allow this, but not so bad that
you pay someone who doesn't ask to use the pool. Personally,
it wouldn't bother me if my friends came over. If
it did bother me, I would stop asking them. You're
the a hole.

Speaker 4 (01:12:57):
Big words, big words coming from this commentary.

Speaker 2 (01:12:59):
I mean like it's her house.

Speaker 1 (01:13:02):
Ohpy Your responds to this comment saying I'm fine with
my friend, not my friend's friend. We've got an update, everyone,
let's get right and do it. I haven't spoke to
my friend about this original issue yet, but I am
currently pet sitting for her, and now I'm definitely thinking
that I'm being taken advantage of based on what she
did this weekend. Our usual arrangement is that I take

(01:13:23):
her small dog to my house and she will split
up her other three dogs. With me and her other
family member. She has a small condo and no yard
and usually walks all her dogs, so she will leave
me just one big dog of the house for me
to let in and out two times a day. The
other dogs go to a family member's house with a yard,
so each pet sitter only ever deals with two of

(01:13:45):
the four dogs. She is totally fine with this arrangement
since I also have my own pets at home and
I have no room for an additional four dogs. But
this time when we planned this, I was still pregnant
and now I'm five months postpartum, so she didn't want
to have me doing so much back and forth. She
told me that I would just have the small dog
and her others would be split at her other family

(01:14:07):
member's house. I now distinctly remember this conversation because I
almost said no, since I knew I would have a baby.
Maybe that's what she said to get me to agree
to this in the first place. Well, we never spoke
about it until last week, just to finalize the details
about when I would get that one little dog, or
so I thought. A few days ago, she calls me

(01:14:31):
and says that she is leaving her big dogs at
her sister's new house, which is closer to me, and
that would be easier on me. They would just be
in the yard and I do the usual two times
a day feats. Now, I admit I didn't remember at
the time that I never agreed to go anywhere and
I would just have the small dog. My baby brain
has me questioning my own memory, so in the moment,

(01:14:53):
I just said okay, without thinking about it. I only
asked if I needed a key to her sister's house,
and she said that they would meet me there on
Friday to give them to me and show me where
things are, and also give me the small dog. I
start thinking, I know her sister has a bunch of
cats that she rescues, but I know that she is
still moving into this new house, so I assumed that
the cats were taken care of.

Speaker 2 (01:15:14):
This was a mistake.

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
When I get to the house, her sister meets me
outside while I put the little dog's crate in my car.
She says to me, I don't want to overwhelm you,
but it's a lot. Did my sister tell you about
the cats and the meds? So she has to watch
the cats? Now? Is that what's happening.

Speaker 2 (01:15:31):
Dude, Hi, I know that this is about to happen
right now, But where you told anything that you needed
to know?

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
Oh my gosh, that's crazy. Uh. About that time, my
friend is coming over and she laughs and tells her sister, no,
I haven't told her yet, and her sister gasps, you
didn't tell her. I feel confused. My friend doesn't ask,
just tells me that I'll need to throw some food

(01:15:59):
to the four cats, and her sister adds one of
them needs medication once a day, and you don't have
to do litter because I have two litter robots. I'll
pay you. And by the way, our parents' dog is
here too, and gets meds.

Speaker 2 (01:16:13):
Okay, holy crap this you have Now, this is a
full time job. Yeah, plus over time. Now.

Speaker 1 (01:16:20):
Yeah, we're looking at seven animals that aren't hers. No,
I'm not dying. I did that wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:16:30):
I'm not gonna lie though, I'm saying I can't do this. Yeah.
I know that this is messing your stuff up, but
you didn't tell me this. I can't do this. So
you can feel like this is on me, because I
know it's not because you didn't tell me any of this.
So good luck figuring this out. I can't do it.
I can take care of one dog. I can take
care of the one dog. Everything else you're gonna have

(01:16:53):
to figure it out.

Speaker 1 (01:16:54):
I am postpartum, so it's not like I'm in you know,
perfect uh like healed health, perfect mental state to take
care of nine animals plus my own. Yeah, I know
what I should have done, But again I was still thinking.
Maybe we did talk about the cats when we talked
about her moving, but my baby brain is not to

(01:17:16):
be trusted. I was also put on the spot. They
were literally packing the cars for their trip. After I
left that whirlwind, I remembered her sister just closed on
this house a few months ago, and I verified this
in my texts to my friend about it. She has
been slowly moving from her parents to this new house
because she has a bunch of rescue cats, So this

(01:17:36):
was never part of the original pet sitting agreement we
made months before. Then. I know for sure that I
didn't agree to the parents' dog because she told me
once I was at the house and gave some excuse,
why don't even.

Speaker 2 (01:17:50):
Remember, Please tell me that you did not let them
just leave. I know that they're just packing the car.

Speaker 1 (01:17:58):
No, it sounds like she did. Yeah yeah, I think yeah,
because after I left that whirlwind. Yeah yeah, so, oh
my gosh, this poor poor woman with baby brain. My
friend definitely just came up with this idea. I guess
when she realized that it was way more convenient for
her to bring her animals to her sister's house with

(01:18:19):
a big yard instead of the other family member's house,
where they would be in a smaller outdoor pen. She
even mentioned when I was there Friday that she doesn't
like the way that that person handles her dogs, so
she manipulated me into pet sitting nine animals. I have
the small dog at my house and four dogs and
four cats at the sister's house, two pets that need meds.

(01:18:41):
I am so pissed and don't know where to start
the conversation we will definitely be having.

Speaker 2 (01:18:48):
But folks, man, the correct response to this is you go,
I know, yeah, and that's hard. You gotta if you're not, oh,
if you can't do confrontation, like, that's gonna be rough,
like we yeah, yeah, Oh god, I'm so mad.

Speaker 1 (01:19:09):
I think OP needs to do a little Google search
since these other girls won't do it. Find the most
expensive pet center and be boop poop poop. Hello, friend,
I found this person. I can drop them off at
their They're like this shelter, not shelter, but like this
doggye pet daycare thing. I'll send you the bill because

(01:19:29):
I can't do this. I don't know what you expect
from me.

Speaker 2 (01:19:33):
What yeah, and then hang up. I just wish I
could have like quantum leaped into Op's body, like at
that exact moment that they're being like packing up the car, like,
oh yeah, and by the way, you have all these
cats and you have to take care of the doll
because you actually have all the power in that scenario.
They make it feel like you don't, but you do
because you can tell them in that moment, Hey, I'm

(01:19:55):
not agreeing to this. I'm not gonna watch those other
eight animals, but we're like leaving right now. It's like
not anymore problem. Now you have to figure out who's
gonna actually take care of all these animals exactly, because
it's not me exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
But yeah, oh my goodness, dang, there's a tiny bit
more into the story. For comparison, when she takes care
of my animals, I have two dogs and she lets
them out two times a day, but can leave out,
but she can leave them outside for longer if she
can't make it, just to make sure that they come
in for the night. Two cats that are indoor and
outdoor and have an automatic feeder, so she just has

(01:20:28):
to check their water. And she works from.

Speaker 4 (01:20:30):
Home at my house, swims in my pool.

Speaker 1 (01:20:32):
And what the original post was about last summer her
wanting to bring her friend and kid to my house
to swim with her and her kid. Edit to add,
I'm doing this for seven days. We never pay each other.
This would be well over a thousand dollars worth of
services with a pro Her sister has said that she
would pay me, so I'm going to make invoices for

(01:20:54):
her and the parents talk. I'll make one for my
friend too, but tell her that she will pay me
back by pet sitting. She won't know that I will
be finding someone else, and I'm going to tell her
the day before I leave for my trip. You're just
being this is absurd. It's absurd value as a friend.

Speaker 2 (01:21:12):
Yeah, a friend wouldn't do this.

Speaker 1 (01:21:13):
To you, So like, what are we doing? Yeah, it's
just big issue. I stand with our original arguments of
just like being no, no, sorry, I can't do that
because it's like one dog.

Speaker 2 (01:21:26):
That's like she has to take care of eight animals
at the sister's house and then she has the one
small dog at her place. Yeah, so she would have
to go take time out of Verdet to take care
of eight animals while she also has a newborn to
take care of, which is absurd. Newborns aren't allowed around
cats and or like certain animals for like certain reasons

(01:21:47):
and like all this stuff. It's like, so what are
we doing? Like, come on, my.

Speaker 4 (01:21:52):
Gosh, I'm glad that story is over.

Speaker 1 (01:21:54):
I hope she just is. It is over. That was
the end of it.

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My adopted brother felt ostracized by our parents… now that he's grown up. - r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP2242

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My adopted brother felt ostracized by our parents… now that he's grown up. - r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP2242