My best friend accused her husband of having an AFFAIR… with me! - r/okstorytime | Redditstories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts,
and we have some good stories coming up for you.
That's right. But before that, we have a little more
sol of a two minute ad break from the sponsors
keeping the show delicious.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
My best friend accused her husband of having an affair
with me.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Oh, that doesn't sound like a best friend.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
And this actually comes straight from the r slash okay
storytime Supreddit wo. I thirty six female, have been friends
with Amy thirty six females since we were seventeen.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
We have been very much like sisters with matching.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Tattoos, and although we are not as close as we
were in college, I thought.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
We still saw each other that way.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
By the way, this comes from Fabulous Soft twenty three
oh six, and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash okay storytime Supread it so now.
Both Amy and I have come from traumatic backgrounds and
it always drew us closer. We were definitely toxic af
in our younger years. Both were crazy partiers back then
and used to do stupid stuff together. When she got
her first serious boyfriend, he cheated with several of our

(01:07):
friends and I got into it with him. Over how
he treated her and how harmful he was. Now Amy
herself was super toxic. She cheated back as revenge. She
hit back, but generally speaking, her ex was worse, and
they brought out the worst in one another. Amy and
I have opposite tastes in men. Our crushes or love
lives have never overlapped, and she finds everyone I like gross,

(01:28):
and I find the same over hers, and in that
it built more trust. When we were around twenty, one
of our friends introduced us to a new guy, Smith, Yeah,
who's now at forty mail. Both Amy and I were
in relationships. Smith seemed to shoot a shot with me,
and for the next six years or so, messaged me
constantly with openers and compliments and the occasional shot of
his muscles or something. Sometimes I did talk conversational type stuff.

(01:52):
I outright told him several times that I had no
interest in him spicily or romantically, so whenever he got
weird or flew, I would leave him on red to
enforce that. But he was still in our social group
and I stayed civil otherwise. All of our friends were
aware that Smith would send these messages and joked about
it being sort of sad and weird. When Amy and
I were in our late twenties, she was divorced with kids.

(02:14):
She ended up hooking up with Smith at a party.
Our friends were a bit weirded out given his weird
message thing, but she told us that he was just
an f buddy and she needed a rebound. Fast forward
several years later, Smith and Amy have been married for
some time.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
I stood in their wedding, and truthfully, it was never
a grand romantic love story. Days before their wedding, when
I was doing wedding speech stuff with them, they had
a cruel argument in front of me where they both
put each other down. After Smith and Amy got married,
my husband became good friends with Smith and started playing
music together as a hobby. Amy and I were busy
with life and kids, so we mostly stayed connected through

(02:50):
socials or the occasional hangout after work, but we could
go weeks without chattings. Smith still did message randomly, but
it was usually about my husband and him, or mental
health stuff. My profession is in mental health and trauma rehab.
Both Amy and I work in health and both work shifts.
One night after work, about two ish years ago, my
husband asked if I could drop by Smith's to pick

(03:12):
up his music bag with his stuff in it that
he needed for tomorrow. And it was late, like eleven
thirty pmish. Smith was awake and had been texting that
it was fine. I asked if Amy was home and
he said yeah, but she's just off work and.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Mad at Smith.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
I was starving, so I grabbed some Chinese takeout, Amy's
favorite and brought it over to get the stuff. Amy
must have just fallen asleep. When I came by with
the treats. She gave me a big hug but said
that her back was in pain. I gave her a
back passage till she slept, and then went to the
man cave to eat food with Smith before heading home.
We had my husband on speakerphone as we ate and

(03:48):
talked about the boys music. I left around oneish in
the morning. Since then, my husband has gone over there
every few weeks, depending on how busy work is, and
played music and texts Smith regularly.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
I get hey, how are you for him?

Speaker 2 (04:00):
But I am not good at answering texts, so I
mostly leave him on red. I have shown up a
few times to their place to drop off Birthday and
Christmas gifts or buy tickets for the kids stuff, but
I haven't spent much time there. So yesterday I was
celebrating my anniversary and my husband had a major project
at work. Smith is messaging him a lot, saying that
he really needs a friend right now.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
He's going through a lot.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
My husband feels horrible, but he's got a deadline. I
offered to go hang out with Smith, as I'm friends
with him too and have the mental health training, and
he says, yeah, please, that would be great.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Stop see stopping?

Speaker 4 (04:33):
How do we not we see where this is going?

Speaker 1 (04:37):
I guess on paper it's way easier to see this
with all the context written out. Yeah, but in the moment,
maybe you're like, Okay, Smith is reset himself. Yeah, he's right,
he's married to Hey, he's got to be reset.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
He hasn't said any of those weird things in a
long time.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
But he said he sent them to you for six years, yeah,
straight with out any like, and you were like, hey,
I'm not interested in you, and he kept sending it right.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Smith's grandfather passed away a few weeks ago, and I
figured that it was something like that. When I met Smith,
he is looking bad, smelling bad, just the picture of struggling.
I take him out and get him talking and fed.
He tells me Amy left him, Okay, talk to me
about that and how you feel about it. He outlines
all the things that are not good from my perspective.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
They've truly never.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
Had a good, loving relationship, but I keep that to myself.
He talks about how she disappeared and took the vehicle
and bank guards to leave him stranded. But maybe you know,
there is hope. He tells me she's living with another friend,
one I don't know from work, because she's done. I
try and validate his feelings, asking open ended questions to
tease out what he needs and wants to move forward

(05:50):
with either the marriage or divorce.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
Smith drops the bomb on me.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Amy told him when she was leaving that she believes
that Smith and I were here being spicy the night
that I brought over takeout, you know, over two years ago,
and she said that she knows that she has no
interest because she truly didn't care then and she doesn't
care now. He claims that she referred to me as
a salute and in an oar during this accusation, afterwards,

(06:19):
saying that she's done with him and she wants him gone.
I pushed aside the offense to it. Smith said that
he felt bad for me because it's pretty low opinion
to have of me. But I stopped him and said
that although I'm offended, it didn't happen, and so I
don't feel that defensive about her saying it. We've had
friends sleep with her exits, so I kind of get
the concern.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
But that sucks, and I can't believe that she didn't
tell me this.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
I have seen her several times since bringing food and
she never mentioned anything at all about it. Also, she's
the type of person to be extremely confrontational, so it
isn't like her to not say something if she really
believed it.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
Smith also dropped the.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Bomb that about ten years ago, Amy called in false
workplace pesterman claims on my ex that led to him
getting terminated and screwing me and him financially for a
long time, and the reason was that she was mad
at me after her and I had an argument over
my relationship without X. She wanted me to dump him
because he is an a hole, and I wouldn't listen
at the time. That's crazy that because OP wouldn't listen.

(07:16):
Amy was like, Okay, so I'm gonna get your boyfriend fired.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
Then I think if OP has a problem, it's that
they might be a little too tolerant possible. I think
OP should have known for ten years that Amy Amy
pulled some some sketch crap on you with that. Yeah,
false allegations, messing with the money, yeah, messing with your lives.
I have friends where I'm like, I don't like who

(07:41):
you're dating. Yeah, I'm not gonna like, I'm not gonna
go do and do that because it's your life, right,
you know.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, And I feel like at the beginning she was
like yeah, I mean Amy was always like toxic too,
but it sounds pretty toxic. It's like, yeah, maybe, Like
I feel like theer and having toxic friendships is that
you can tolerate it when it's not involving you, and
you'd be like, it's just something that they need to

(08:09):
figure out.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
It's not something that I like can have any control over.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
But then eventually it concerns you and it all gets
pointed right back at you and you get involved and
it's like, Okay, we don't want to be friends with
these people that are cheating on these people back just
because the ex was worse, like she said earlier in
the story, or like, you know that one X in
high school doesn't mean that Amy's fine.

Speaker 3 (08:34):
You know, we might not want to be friends with
Amy if she wants to do all this stuff correct.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
But there is a little bit more to this story.
So now I'm sitting here reeling and honestly wanting to
cut the two of them out of my life. I
had a very toxic and dramatic youth when I was
closer to Amy, and I feel like this whole mess
is pulling me back when I just want to grow
and heal away from that sort of stuff. My husband
is deeply offended that she said that I had an
affair with Smith, and also pissed that I am not madder.

(08:58):
I am mostly mad about the work Pesterman call, because
that ruined a lot of stuff and had me absolutely
struggling and crying. I literally cried on her shoulder, hyperventilating
over all the fallout from the false claims. Part of
me was suspicious because she could get so spiteful and
she hated my ex then, but I really didn't think
that she would hurt me that way. I was I'm

(09:20):
just getting it off my chest nineteen years down the drain.
There are some comments downvound in comments says mental health
field or not. You shouldn't be hanging out with someone's
husband until one am. That would have avoided this entire situation.
It sounds like, no matter what, they would have split
up since they didn't have a good relationship. It's good
that your husband is supportive of you.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
I don't agree with that, but I also do agree.
I don't agree with that as a blanket statement, but
I do agree with that with the context that we
have that this guy had been sending you all those messages. Yeah,
It's like, clearly there had been an established dynamic where
this guy was very, very pursuant pursuant of you, right,
and so once he's married to someone else, you really

(10:02):
should not, Yeah, go and be that guy who talks
to him until one in the morning.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
You just shouldn't.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah, I get that.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
I think it would for me depend on what happened
in between, like all those messages and like what happened
in the marriage, Like just was there any other weird
moments that he was doing or like, I don't know,
was there any suspicious behavior from him, but it seems like,
I mean, you know, the husband was on the phone
and stuff. It seemed like it wasn't that bad, you know,

(10:29):
OPI responds. I went over there to get my husband's things.
Amy Smith and my husband all knew this and the
hour I also gave Amy a message because her back
hurt and she left us to hang out to go
to bed, so I finished the food that I brought
for her because she was in a bad mood. I
only hung out with him recently because my partner was
busy and he was struggling with his mental health, which
I thought was over grief, not his marriage. The cheating

(10:49):
accusation was bizarre and never brought up before yesterday, even
though the claim of the incident was over two years prior,
which is weird. But yeah, not ideal hanging out with
your friend's partner after hours. It more ended up that
way when she left, rather than it being a planned hangout.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
My girlfriend is upset that I cried over a video game.

Speaker 4 (11:08):
Well, she should support you showing your emotions.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
As a young adult growing up during the Quarantine era,
I male twenty three, got really into video games, as
did most of the people that I hung out with
at the time, I got used to playing video games
as a way to relax and connect with other people
during my downtime. Only recently did I start playing single
player games as a means of entertainment, well past the
prime years for gaming. By the way, this comes from

(11:32):
a throwaway opinion gatherer and from opinion Gatherer seven eighty nine.
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay, storytime separated.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
We're getting two people on this right now. Exciting stuff.

Speaker 4 (11:44):
I liked when that happens.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
My girlfriend, female twenty three, is really chill. She is
super down to earth, and for the most part, she's
always put a lot of effort into understanding me. I'm
a pretty social person who dealt with putting up masks
to get a quick laugh from people, and so I
felt really isolated for a while when I met my girlfriend,
and she really put in a lot of effort to
get past those walls and see me for who I
truly was cut to three years later, and this is

(12:06):
the biggest fight I think we've ever had.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
I recently finished Final Fantasy Sevin.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Rebirth at play through the remake just a few months ago.
I won't spoil it for anyone here, but that game
gets really emotional towards the latter half. Now, I've never
been a sappy person or when a cry at movies,
and I think this is the biggest reason my girlfriend
has been having issues with my quote behavior. I was
cooking dinner for the two of us when the main theme,
a Sector seventh theme from the first game for those

(12:31):
who are curious, came on.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
Now.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
This is a relatively slow song with a lot of
strings and feelings woven into the melodies, or at least
for me it is. I really don't know what came
over me, but I started to get teary eyed while
listening to it, thinking about some of the characters and
the events of the game.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
I don't think there's really been a piece.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Of media that has affected me in this kind of way,
but I found myself particularly saddened at that moment by
the narrative of the game. So my girlfriend obviously noticed
this and realized that I was crying and immediately grew concerned.
When I told her it was nothing, she kept pushing.
I thought the reason I was crying was pretty stupid too,
so I kind of lied. In hopes of diverting the subject,
I just told her that it was from the onions

(13:07):
I was cutting earlier.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
They He's like, by.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
They were shallottes, but close enough, and I left it
at that. Well, apparently I was very quietly sobbing or something,
because she called bas a few minutes later, dude, this
is so funny.

Speaker 4 (13:22):
They're playing Final Fantasy Rebirth and like crying, yeah, and
she's like, what's going on. He's like, this just the
onions I was cunning earlier, and she was like okay.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
And then he's like.

Speaker 4 (13:35):
And she's like, dude, the onions are nowhere to be found, right.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
They have to be in front of you to make
you cry. Yeah, very onion.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
So a few minutes later she started getting upset, thinking
that I had done something like be unfaithful to her,
and so rather than be caught another lie, I just
told her the truth. Unfortunately, this just made her more upset.

Speaker 4 (13:59):
What she saw you crying, and she jumped too. You
cheated on me.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
That's crazy talk, that's insane.

Speaker 4 (14:06):
Why is that the first thing you jumped to? That's projection? Actually,
so projection honestly.

Speaker 3 (14:11):
I mean, if it's that out of left field, then
it probably.

Speaker 4 (14:14):
She's like, I've never seen you crab before. You must
be cheating on me.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
He must just be like so overflowed with guilt. You're
so chelty crying and you're liking to me about it
and I don't know it. She was going on and
on about how I was so immature for letting a
video game girl remain in my thoughts for weeks after
I finished playing the game, she said that she was
upset that I was replacing my quote mental headspace with
a quote misogynistic dream girl that she thinks I believe

(14:38):
it is a better version of her.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
Wow, wow, oh my gosh, so crazy. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
She's gonna have a hard time when GTA six dropped.

Speaker 4 (14:50):
Dude. So dude, see, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Girl from the game does look very similar to my girlfriend,
I must admit. But that just shows you how pretty
my girlfriend it is. Regardless, I tried telling her that
the actual narrative of the game was frankly ingenious and
how the song was just a trigger. It's not the
girl herself that's making me cry, it's the narrative that
she's involved in. Also, it's an emotional song, like without
knowing what happens in the game, I feel like I
could be sad to a song like this. Anyways, she

(15:17):
wasn't having it, and she made me sleep on the
couch that night and the night after that. I'm starting
to get really mad, and I admit I was getting
frustrated with her that she was treating me poorly because I.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Became emotional over a game.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
I'm frustrated that I discovered something that moved me like
no other game or movie has ever done before, and
for some reason, I'm being punished for showing my emotions
in front of my own partner. I asked my mom
for some advice since I'm thinking of breaking up with
her for treating me like this or some little disagreement,
but after explaining the situation from both sides, she sided
with my girlfriend.

Speaker 4 (15:46):
What's going on now?

Speaker 2 (15:47):
I have my direct family calling me childish, and all
my friends are making fun of me for being into
two D girls.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
I'm literally not into her.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
By the way, if you played this game, you would
understand what I'm talking about. Since nobody in my community
has really played player games, I feel like I'm talking
to a bunch of people who just aren't going to
understand what I'm saying here. I'm getting a lot of
anime wife wu comments from my girlfriend's friends, not even anime. Yeah,
and overall, I'm becoming more and more done with this situation.
I really love my girlfriend like a lot, but this

(16:16):
simple misunderstanding is tearing our relationship apart. I'm trying to
communicate not only my own feelings, but also how she
might be taking this situation a bit farther than it
reasonably needs to. So, Reddit, I need your advice. Do
I cut my losses and break it off over something
as stupid as this? I kind of don't want to
let a fake girl tear my relationship apart. That just
feels dumb. Am I being immature? I want her to understand,

(16:36):
but I feel as though she's not listening to me.
If I don't break it off, how do you think
I go about amending this? I just want some honest advice.
And here's to hoping my girlfriend and her friends don't
find this story and make even more fun of me.
There are some relevant comments, but I want to hear yours.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
Okay, I am the best solution?

Speaker 3 (16:52):
What is it?

Speaker 4 (16:53):
You make her play? Final?

Speaker 3 (16:54):
Oooh, there you go?

Speaker 4 (16:56):
You just say, okay, you know what you're not getting me,
and you just sit down, play it all the way
through and then we'll talk.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
Yeah, honestly, I think that would be good.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Like I have like played a few video games, but
I'm not a huge video game person. My brother really is,
and like, I didn't really understand this stuff. I think
at first, if he didn't tell me about it, like
any of these video games being emotional, I'd probably be like, oh,
that's like weird, like.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
Whi's going on there?

Speaker 2 (17:19):
But after learning about some of these games, man and
I played one of his and I totally cried at
the end, totally.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
And also just talk to her and say like, well, okay,
some people are more emotional. Some people cry never, some
people cry at the drop of the hat. Some people
cry a lot, maybe not the drop of that, but
fairly often. And that's me.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
Yeah, and that's the hat type.

Speaker 4 (17:41):
That's me. I cry fairly often.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
And that's okay, Okay, okay, it's okay, too, like to
be a man and do that.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
It is.

Speaker 4 (17:51):
I think if you have little boys that you're raising
your children, not just little boys that you found, little
boys that you're raising chosen if.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
You found somebody you can gather up and tell them
that is well.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
Cry if they're.

Speaker 4 (18:04):
Crying, don't say oh you're a big boy, don't cry.
It's like, Okay, you're feeling this emotion, let's work through exactly.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
It's just an emotion. Guys, men have all of these
same emotions.

Speaker 4 (18:14):
Just water from your eyes.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
Not the big of a deal, but there are some
relevant but emments. Dada beaten Nick. What that's a crazy name, Dad,
I've beaten Nick. Look if I was reading a novel
and it I cried, I don't think anyone would criticize me.
Gloomy a ruminant says, I'd never think anything of someone
crying while reading. But if I walked into the kitchen
and found my husband's sobbing over a book he read

(18:36):
days ago, I would be pretty taken aback and would
start to worry that maybe something else was going on
with him that I wasn't seeing. However, the girlfriend's subsequent
reaction is unhinged, and I'll be response, I think that's
what was freaking her out the most. I'm not usually
an emotional person. I think I've cried in front of
my girlfriend like twice. I think She's suspecting that more
is going on than what I am telling her, because
in her eyes, this is out of character for me.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
But in reality, I just haven't experienced stuff like this before.
Sovereign Niven, not only did your.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
Girlfriend read the situation with extreme bad faith and lack
of empathy, she turned to her friends to make fun
of you and shame you. That is not what a
loving and respecting person does in a disagreement. Is that
something that you are okay with in a relationship. You
are not having issues because of two d girls. You
are having issues because of her behavior. She build her
own narrative and is refusing to see your point of
view over something completely harmless and low states what happens

(19:25):
when you build your future together and have to discuss
heavier things.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
Also, I know that despite the popularity.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
Of gaming, there still exists a lot of people who
do not understand the medium. But our stories not a
universal concept.

Speaker 4 (19:37):
Stories are the oldest thing in the world.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
That's all there is.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
I mean, if you look as.

Speaker 4 (19:48):
Stories are like how we build culture, stories are how
we build relationship.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
Right, I mean, if you look at any single art form,
any art form, it's about telling a story.

Speaker 4 (19:58):
I mean before we had books of you know that
recorded everything. We had oral history, yeah, which is how
we passed down culture and family and you know like
that that was how things were talked about. What we've got,
the story has changed and developed.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
That's how you converse with people, like, it's just how
you connect.

Speaker 4 (20:15):
So I feel very electria. I feel very lucky to
be an actor and to be capable of creating emotion
in people. Yeah, because it's one of the you know,
it's a very old art form, right.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Absolutely, do they not experience TV series, movies and books
and empathize with the characters in their journey? Does no
one in your or your girlfriend's circles play video games?
Sounds incredibly weird. Oh, he says she doesn't have any
guy friends since to her, guys and girls just can't
be friends or whatever. Redo huge red flag book. There's
one friend who is on my side, though, keeps telling

(20:47):
me that I have to show her that games are
just as powerful as the movies. Unfortunately, this friend is
also really into anime and cosplaying, which for some unexplainable
reason puts her beneath everyone else in her friend group's eyes.

Speaker 3 (20:58):
And the dodgy he walks, says.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
Also, the first one I think was dad AI beat Nick,
not dada I beat Nick, I beat yea beat Nick.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
I thought it was like a I beat you. Now
I thought it was like a book.

Speaker 4 (21:18):
I'm a Beatnick now I'm.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
There's one more comment before we get into our update,
and none of these behaviors read it chilling down to Earth,
by the way.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
Oh and that's it, and now we have got her
update update. Yeah, update. I really hope that he breaks.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
Up with her.

Speaker 5 (21:36):
Break break with her, break.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
Up with her updates.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
I didn't get much sleep last night, mostly due to
the third night on the couch, and we're all being
really frustrated with how I've been treated the past couple
of days. But when my girlfriend got up this morning,
she had a different energy. It was much earlier than
she needed to be up, and she invited me back
into the bedroom to rest and we could talk later
if I was up for it. I just told her
that we should talk now, since the rest would be
hard with this heavy burden on my mind.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Well, she apologized immediately.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
She told me how awful she felt for treating me
like a cheating boyfriend, and that she had been acting
rash and childish out of the fear that I had
been falling out of love with her. I was still
a little peeved, but I put my anger aside for
a while and told her that, yes, she totally had
been treating me unfairly for the past couple of days.
She didn't defend herself very much, and she started explaining
her sudden change of heart. This silly argument has been

(22:24):
going on since Wednesday night, and in all the free
time she's been having away from me, she had naturally
been telling her friends and family. My girlfriend is very
close with my mother, so she gave her a lot
of detail about the whole situation, including the details about
the fake girl.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
That had supposedly quote captured my eye.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
That's not cool. Well, sorry, she went and blabbed everyone
about Yeah, literally crying.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
I'm really scared that OPI's just making excuses like, well, naturally,
like she told everyone, because that's natural.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
You know, she was awh with people.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
When I had like things I was like unsure about
with my ex, I would talk to like Sam, Yeah,
you know, I talk to like one or two people
like my clothes, close friends who had write ask for advice.
But it wasn't like slamming on them.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, It's like I get like wanting to talk to people,
and like sometimes multiple people helps, like for some of
like getting different perspectives and stuff, but not just like,
oh my god, can.

Speaker 4 (23:12):
You believe that this cried? It should be like, hey,
like this happened the other day and I'm you know, yeah,
I don't know how to really help him, how to
approach it. That should be where you're coming from, if
you are in a healthy relationship, exactly shouldn't be slam
duncan on your partner.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Well, her mother told the rest of her family, including
my girlfriend's father and most importantly, her younger brother. Now,
as I've noticed from the comments on my previous post,
my reaction to this song and this character are far
from unusual, and it seems to be much more common
experience amongst the gamers who have experienced Final Fantasy seven.
Her brother, quickly catching on to the situation at hand,
quickly called my girlfriend and started explaining the situation to her.

(23:51):
While I was writing my previous post, her younger brother
had been coming to Batford. Yeah, trying to justify that
it truly was just the narrative that had brought me
to tears by the way, I wasn't bawling my eyes out,
my eyes were watery, and then there were a few
tears and a couple sniffles. Seems like some people thought
it had sent me into a weird episode. Regardless, my
girlfriends started to doubt herself and did some research online. Well,

(24:12):
fans of Final Fantasy seven are quite prolific, so much
online discourse talking about this one game had proven my
feelings valid enough for my girlfriend, and she had a
change of heart.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
Sometime overnight. I asked her if there.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
Was something that I had done to make her souch
scared about our relationship, as some commentaries suggested, but she
brushed it off and told me that she was just
anxious because many of her friends were getting cheated on recently,
and she was.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
Worried that I was growing distant.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
After a bit of talking, we came to an understanding
that I was simply getting more comfortable, and as the
time between my lovey dovey moments were increasing, she was
worried that I was drifting away or possibly falling for
another woman. I'm quite glad that this conversation is happening
now rather than later, and I now think that we've
moved past it. Courtney Electra says she has friends, surprising shock,

(24:56):
but I'll like.

Speaker 4 (24:56):
The friends who are like, oh, he plays the videot games.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, yeah, because that's so it can probably like make
fun of the cosplaying.

Speaker 4 (25:04):
The cosplayer that's like, I bet she's shot like a freak.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
That's to think, is cool?

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Cool.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
I don't cosplay, that's what could even though, like I
make clothes and stuff like that, that's not my thing.
But I'm obsessed with watching cosplaying people. I think it's
so satisfying. And that one girl that makes the wigs,
oh yeah, there's our taglies.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
She's hot. She really calmed down. Jinks had her hair black.
It's muted. But there is a little bit more to
this story. I still hope that they break up. Not
gonna lie.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
So we compromised, and she promised that if she ever
had a problem with my behavior again, she would communicate
more directly with me, as well as treat me more
like a human being. She also said that she wouldn't
mind trying playing a video game with me, as she
was interested in what she read earlier about one final
Fantasy vin game. It seems the comments have also left
many congestions for games to try out.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
That's very nice.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
I appreciate all your messages, and perhaps both myself and
the commentars were being harsh last night. I think this
is the best things could have turned out. Also, she
brought me a basket full of different yellow flowers with
takeout tonight, and I almost cried again.

Speaker 5 (26:15):
Huh.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Anyways, perhaps that wasn't the ending you guys were rooting for,
but I'm glad that this is finally over and my
relationship with my girlfriend is still solid and I have
a bed to sleep in tonight. Thank you all for
your advice. I appreciate it all.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode,
but a quick three minute break with aswer more sponsors.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
My boyfriend's friend is in love with him, but he
can't see.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Oh my goodness, he's blind.

Speaker 4 (26:37):
I twenty seven female, met my boyfriend Daniel, twenty five male,
through mutual friends. The attraction was instant, and I knew
he was something special. Our first dates were amazing. I
traveled ninety percent of the time for work, and he
was in his last semester of college at the time.
He was very involved and had many friends. By the way,
this comes from cute requirement two seven to two on

(26:57):
the Too Hot Take subreddit, and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
story time. Separate it. So one group I nicknamed his
harem Carrie, Emma, Hannah and Brian. Our school was a
fourth ratio that many girls in one group was wild.
They went on long school road trips together and were
overall very close. I tried to meet them, but I

(27:19):
had to travel and missed all their graduation parties. I
finally got to meet Carrie and Brian at his graduation party.
I was excited to meet his friends he always spoke of,
and nervous to meet his family for the first time
until I met Carrie. He was showing us his parents'
house and childhood bedroom, laughing and poking fun. She picks
up a photo of him in his high school football
uniform and goes, wow, you were so hot. What happened

(27:44):
a little weird, but I assumed it was a joke.
His sister came down and we were all hanging in
the basement. I tried to bond with her over books
and she made a big deal about smut books and
how their group needs to start book club and read
them together. He's uncomfortable about these books. It's an easy jab,
but weird to do. After the party, we all wandered
Ikea to pass time before we went to a bar.

(28:05):
Everything is going well until we go through checkout. She
picked up a candy bar and went to Brian, you're
my caramel chocolate, and looks at Daniel and goes, you're
my milk chocolate.

Speaker 5 (28:15):
Eh.

Speaker 4 (28:16):
Tone was noticeably different between the two. That made everyone uncomfortable.
We went to the bar. It was a large place
with games. Everything was good until the boys were facing
off at ping pong. We were casually chatting and the
conversation turns to how we're both blonde. She goes, doesn't
it fact that your children will never look like you?

Speaker 3 (28:34):
Yikes?

Speaker 4 (28:35):
He is first generation Indian. Ooh, so the chocolate comments
about color? Yeah, I thought she was just talking about chalk.
I thought maybe it was, but now we have confirmation.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
Oh nos, race for hip.

Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yikes? Who brings that up and phrases it like that?
I respond with, I care about the person not preserving
genetics because she's not a eugenicist. The whole night. It
was so weird, and I started paying attention. He talked
about how they went on a school research trip. Emma,
Carrie and others were in the car. They knew the
books made him uncomfortable. Carrie pushed to read the schmesy

(29:10):
parts of the smut books out loud to be funny.
The three of them played video games on Mondays. I
was invited to join once. I don't want to intrude
on their friend time, but also I do want to
get to know his friends. Carrie flat out ignored me.
I felt so uncomfortable. Daniel said, I was quiet, but
Brian could hear me just fine. The second time I
met her, she came in town New Year's weekend. Brian,

(29:33):
his cousin Daniel, Carry and I all went to a
place to watch the hockey game and catch up. I
creeped on her for some conversation topics. I asked about
how her family trip went. She just came back from.
She gave me a one liner, pulls out her phone
and only shows Brian and Daniel the photos and chatters
about her trip. Daniel tells her to show me the
phone to try to bring me back in. She flashed

(29:54):
the phone so I could briefly see and goes back
into leaving me out. He said, come on, like you
show a peep anyway, Kerrie, you saw it.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
That's the kind of thing where it's like it's such
a small Yeah it should I shouldn't let it bother
me that much. But that's the thing that like pisses
me off way more than like medium things, you.

Speaker 4 (30:13):
Know what I mean. It's the little jabs.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
It's just like, are you a child? Yeah, Like that's
it's so childish.

Speaker 4 (30:19):
No, I really don't understand passive aggressiveness.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
It's stupid.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
It's like, if you want to be mean and have
like an effect on people, just be mean.

Speaker 4 (30:29):
Yeah, you're not doing anything with this.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
You're just looking stupid.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
We go to Twisted Ranch because she's always wanted to
go and try all the ranch flavors. I am on
one end, Daniel's next to me, Brian and his cousin
across and carries at the head of the table. We
order and she makes a big deal of trying them
all with Daniel, to the point it's awkward for Brian
and me. We make a game out of it. Blindfold
guess the flavor she notices we're having a good time

(30:52):
and does the same with just the two of them.
The next day or so, it was New Year's bash
at a bar. We all brought our friends and it
was a huge group, the entire ham included. At the
end of the night, everyone was enjoying the open bar.
I had a blast until I noticed Carrie was hanging
all over him. He did hold her back and was
being respectful. I didn't love it, so stepped in and

(31:13):
asked what they were talking about to reroute the situation.
It was too loud. It was and it was nothing
like she was trying to ask them, and they were like, oh,
it's too loud, it's nothing. Later that night, she turns
to me dramatically fake crying, asking if I liked her.
What do I say to that? Hey, I think you're great.
I love how you're always rude to me and hit
on my boyfriend in front of me. I do say

(31:34):
I like her back, because what else do you do?
She then goes, you make him really happy, and I
think he's gonna propose to you soon. I can't tell
if she like spoiled the proposal or if there's like
if she's.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
Just like me. Yeah, I feel like she's just making
it up.

Speaker 4 (31:48):
The face was fake happy sobs, huge smile, The tone
was stress and hurt. The three of them were planning
a trip. Daniel invited me along as well, eleven nights
camping and Glacier and Banff. I'm very outdoor. I've done
camping trips since I was little. Daniel was a boy scout.
Brian's first time camping was recent, but he enjoyed it.
I wasn't thrilled with eleven days with Carrie, but these

(32:09):
friends were important to him. Then I found out she's
never really hiked and has never been camping. Daniel's response is,
it's okay, I'll make her like it. Maybe your experience
is different than mine. Boys suck it up when they're uncomfortable.
Girls make the trip miserable when they're not happy. Brian
just got a girlfriend and wanted to invite her. Carrie
made it a big deal. How she it's heir to Daniel. Privately,

(32:31):
she hasn't even met her.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
If I may really quickly just that comment about like,
I think that's different between boys and girls. It's not
it's about the kind of person it is.

Speaker 4 (32:39):
It's just about the yeah. I was about to say,
I yeah, yeah. I think that's a generalization. That's a generalization.
Anyone can make a trip bed.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
The worst person I've ever known to do that is
a guy.

Speaker 4 (32:50):
Yeah. Yeah, just putting it out there. Okay, it's all,
and I appreciate that. Dakota nice. You better, Dakota supports women.
You better, impart dad friend, she hasn't even met her.
I pushed Daniel to invite his other close friends Emma
and Hannah and Brian's girlfriend along with my friend. Make it,
make it a big thing. Change it to Colorado so

(33:11):
there are airbnbs and we can hike and see national parks.
That's my dream.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
Sounds great.

Speaker 4 (33:17):
My dream is for anyone who's like, let's go camping
to change their mind and take me to an Airbnb
so we can hike and see national parks. There you go,
don't take me camping, please. It's cheaper, inclusive, and a
good test run. I'll have time with the rest of
his friends, and the girlfriend can come along. I selfishly
would also have more of a buffer from Carrie. Later,
Daniel and I argued over driving logistics for the trip.

(33:40):
Carrie refused to carpool with Brian and his girlfriend to
Colorado because she couldn't stand her. Well, honestly, probably better
off for that girl. She sounds like she sucks. Yeah,
she still had never met her. Daniel said he could
drive her. I asked him why frontiers cheap flights. We
could both get in early and have some alone time
before everyone arrives. It's an extra four hour detour to

(34:00):
get her. She's twenty five. Can she not drive seven
hours by herself or have Brian driver because she's literally
on his route. His response was she's a bad driver
and would be uncomfortable driving with his girlfriend. Oh, he's
uncomfortable with you driving with her?

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Slash.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
Also, I'm not sure if he's implying that they're all
going to drive together.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
So this is Daniel, right, Yeah, Daniel's op Daniel or
he's boyfriend?

Speaker 4 (34:23):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (34:23):
And so who is he saying would be uncomfortable with?

Speaker 4 (34:25):
So Daniel saying that Carrie, who's the worst one she sucks,
is uncomfortable driving with Brian and his new girlfriend because
she hates his new girlfriend even though she's never met her.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
So stupid and.

Speaker 4 (34:38):
He so Daniel saying, oh, well, all driver, And I
don't know if he's implying that OP is to drive
alone or if they're all driving together, yeah Carrie either way.
Oh P does not want to do that, So like,
why do Carrie's needs come before your girlfriends? Yeah, then
f and fly over and get over yourself. He responded.
If you don't want me to do it, just tell me.

(34:58):
I don't want to have to tell him to choose
me over another girl. Spend extra time with me, choose me,
love me. He suggested, we all carpool together. I have
been openly telling him everything that's happened during our interactions,
how she's rude and makes me uncomfortable, the breaking points.
I was driving home one day and we're chatting about

(35:19):
life and schedules. He says he wanted to go on
a camping trip with just Brian and Carrie to test
them for the Glacier trip next year. At first I
thought it would be fun. Then my mind's spun. I
could imagine her pretending to be scared and trying to
cuddle up next to him. I gave myself an anxiety attack.
I called him back and asked if I could go too.
He said, I'm always invited, but he wanted this one

(35:40):
to be just the three of them. The image spun
in my brain. I told him i'd call him back.
I calmed down and gathered my thoughts and sanity, checked
my anxieties with Megan to make sure I was not
blowing this out of proportion. I called him back and
started the conversation about how caught up is he with
a podcast? I make him listen. We talk about the
creepy Valentine's Day box girl and others, and get to

(36:01):
the one with the work wife. He goes, WHOA, I
can't believe he didn't believe his wife after all that.
I responded with, right, I really related to that one.
You know the way Carrie hits ONNYA. But that's just
who she is. I told him I can't do this
if things don't change. That time he listened. We had
a long conversation going over everything. I don't ever want

(36:22):
to be that girl that makes him not talk to
his friends. I don't like it, but don't mind if
she comes to group things. I'm uncomfortable with just the
three of them hanging out. We set boundaries. He needs
to stop her advances, he needs to step in when
she's being openly rude, if she was such a good friend,
she would try to get to know me. I don't
know about you, but I don't read smut with my
guy friends. I don't lean all over them when I

(36:43):
talk to them, call them hot under the guise of
a joke. There are many more subtle things, but I'm
trying to make this detailed and not too long. I
trust him wholeheartedly. I do believe he views her as
a friend. I do think she is manipulative. I've been
told I need to have more self worth. I should
be a priority. I shouldn't have to tell him what
to do. My friends think I'm justified. I'm anxious that

(37:04):
maybe I'm reading the situation wrong. I have good friends
of three plus years cut me out of their life
when they get girlfriends, and I know how much it sucks.
I hate how fixated I get when she's around. I
like all of his friends. They have all made an
effort to get to know me. There's other details. I
do call out every instance after each interaction. I'm very
direct with them. The hair moved to different states when

(37:26):
they graduated. They stay connected with the book club. Carrie
picks out smet books, but everyone else picked normal ones.
They don't just read smunt only the three play games together.
We have been dating for roughly a year and a half,
and there is an update, folks, But what do you think.
I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
I'm gonna be honest with you. Yeah, I don't like
it one bit. I don't like it one bit. But

(37:47):
I do appreciate that he has seemingly taken this seriously now,
frustrating that it took her being like, hey, Carrie's making
me uncomfortable. Yeah, HER's making me uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
But we haven't seen what he's done about it yet,
have we.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
He's just no, she just said. But I think before
he was like, that's just how shy. Now he's like, Okay,
I understand this is a problem. Yeah, which is frustrating
that it took this long, But you know, at least
we're finally here.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
Right, because it's like, you can make jokes like that
and like it's okay to make you know, teasing jokes
are kind of like funny, spicy jokes with friends if
you want to.

Speaker 4 (38:23):
I think are this whole household does that? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (38:26):
Absolutely? Yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:29):
Update. He spoke with three of his friends for advice.
Ryan believes that's just who she is. She's only rude
because she's awkward and doesn't mean it. I don't think
that's a good enough excuse. She ignores me because she
doesn't like getting to know new people. It's a fact
our kids would not look like me. Why is that
a common A big deal? I also hate that he's
like saying, that's true. Your kids will look like her.

(38:51):
Your kids will look like her. She's always acted flirtatious
and it's not weird. He agreed, if it bothered me
to this extent, that Daniel should talk to her and
a fine stronger boundaries and change the relationship. He asked Patrick,
close friend from work, his opinion. He has never met
any of the group member and has an outside opinion.
Patrick has always had close female friends growing up. When

(39:12):
he gets a girlfriend, he reaches out to his friends
and lets him know that he still cares, but their
dynamic has to change. But like, what was your dynamic before?
Because like, personally, I don't think, like really, any of
my friend's dynamics would have to change.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
They're talking about this dynamic with Carrie.

Speaker 4 (39:27):
No, you know, he's saying that he has another friend Patrick,
who whenever he gets a girlfriend, he tells his female
friends that their dynamic has to change. Yeah, that was
your dynamic before.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Yeah, unless your dynamic was like, oh we're flirting, we're flirting,
or like our dynamic is we're friends with benefits. Yeah
that's yeah, sure, but it's like if it's just because
you're just friends, like, yeah, no, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (39:51):
I'm wondering what you had to change? Yeah, he reached
out to Emma. Emma has noticed the weird dynamic before
I came into the picture, Carrie had always tried to
isolate Brian and Daniel. When the five of them hung out,
Carrie would only hang all over the two of them.
She can't be certain if she has a crush on
either Brian or Daniel, but the relationship was not normal.
Emma noticed Carrie would pull back from conversations when Brian

(40:12):
and Daniel would talk to his girlfriend or I. Emma
also found it weird that to hate Brian's girlfriend without
meeting her. She was closest to Carrie and was surprised
she acted this way, but believed him. He profusely apologized
to me, told me his friend's insights above. He's going
to talk to Carrie Aline that her actions are not okay.
The relationship is going to change. He agreed that he

(40:33):
will stop using the Trio group chat set hard boundaries.
If she continues to be rude, he'll stop talking to her.
I've only interacted with her three times. They had known
each other for a year before I met him. I
think he was blind to her relations I do think
he liked the attention she gave him. I don't believe
he's cheating or whatever with her. I am targeting my

(40:53):
feelings towards him and not just blaming her. He is
not innocent in all of this. I do believe he
is remorseful for not stepping in. Actions speak louder than words.
The trip is in July. We shall see what happens
and there is an update, folks, wows or any I
just want.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
To We'll see what happens. But I don't know, man,
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (41:17):
I think good start see how it goes. But yeah,
definitely to make sure that he's on, you know, the
lookout for other bad behavior, because it seems like he's
very unaware.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, I'm clearly like if she had to bring this up,
I just carried just to because this doesn't seem like
the kind of behavior that you could just talk to
and then she's just gonna be like, Okay, fine, I'll
change it.

Speaker 4 (41:36):
Like I am very hyper aware of changes in relationships
and like maybe it's anxiety, but like I'm like hone
in on slight things like I just like, how do
you not notice?

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Yeah, that's just weird. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (41:51):
The update to book club is not met in months.
Carrie tries to talk in the group chat, but no
one responds. Their whole group blue apart over one. I
feel irrational second hand guilt that it's partially my fault
for their friend group breakdown. I don't regret my decisions,
but if it wasn't for me, they'd still be friends.
Brian still doesn't know she hates his girlfriend without an

(42:11):
effort to even meet her. During the advice talks with Emma,
as she learned she was invited last minute and was hurt.
She was local and thought she just got a proximity invite.
She doesn't know. I suggested for her to be invited,
Daniel pushed it. Her own friend Carrie didn't think too Initially,
Carrie's old roommate Hannah was also in their book club group.
No one thought to invite her. She was the most hurt.

(42:31):
Brian made a comment about the trip one meeting Emma
message privately asking if she was invited. Daniel reached out immediately,
but it was too late. It turned out Carrie worked
with Hannah's friend and went on and on about the trip.
Hailey had been upset for weeks. Oh no, the book
club is falling apart. Oh no, how terrible. He finally
called Carrie. He said she did get upset, cried, et cetera,

(42:53):
saying she didn't remember saying the discriminatory comments. That I
offended her by commenting about her parents, teachers, but she
couldn't remember the details.

Speaker 3 (43:02):
Oh my god, She's like, I know.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
Peter offended me. Don't ask me what she said. I
don't remember.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
Must not have been that bad, then, huh.

Speaker 4 (43:11):
He said she agreed to touch boundaries, excessive hugging, poking,
eighth grade flirting if they hung out in the group.
He says she doesn't call anymore, and their trio group
chat has been quiet. I feel if roles were reversed
and my friend's girlfriend was upset with me because she
thought there was something more. I would reach out. I'd
explain we got off on the wrong foot, but an
effort for her to get to know me. Do you

(43:31):
have any final thoughts on how this is all shaping out?

Speaker 3 (43:34):
It just said that like the book club has to,
you know, feel the round.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
This book clubs never last, Like it's we just want
her out of there.

Speaker 3 (43:41):
We don't need the whole hole time come apart.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yeah so that's a big bum ski, but big old bummer.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (43:48):
I think great that your boyfriends setting up these boundaries.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
Yeah, yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (43:53):
I imagine that Carrie's gonna pretty butt hurt and she's
going to kind of distance herself just because of all
of this. But we'll see, and we're gonna finish the
story off. Their big group chat has been radio silent.
Book clubs and game nights have stopped. Carrie reached out,
but no one responds. Dang dank wooo oh. She is
the one who tried to exclude everyone and make it weird,

(44:15):
thresome trip. The guys didn't try to make it conclusive either.
Daniel did invite me. I'm the one who pushed it
to be bigger with everyone without my push, the whole
thing would not have exploded. Daniel and I had long
talks establishing boundaries, and we've worked on the relationship. I
don't believe he's innocent, but I don't think he did
it intentionally or maliciously personally. I think he liked the
attention so didn't shut it down. If he wanted to

(44:36):
date her, he would have. She's been throwing herself at
him for a year before he met me. Emma backed
out of the trip due to work. Bryan's girlfriend got
a new job and couldn't make it. Carrie felt uncomfortable
coming and backed out as well. We ended up filling
the trip with friends of friends. I brought my best
friend Megan. We had a blast. I highly recommend sandsurfing
in sand Dude's National Park. So it all worked out
and you didn't have to hang out with Carrie. Wooooo oh.

(45:00):
He probably feels real bad for like blowing up this friendship,
but she didn't carry did exactly.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
I mean, it had to be done. It had to
be done.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
You can't stay in that friendship doesn't making you extremely
uncomfortable because she's being weird and crossing.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
She's so weirdo. She's weird dude.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
So yeah, I mean, it's just because of you that
it happened.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Now, yeah, but it's bound to happen to some byn't
appen at some.

Speaker 4 (45:23):
Point exactly if it wasn't you with someone else exactly.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.

Speaker 4 (45:28):
But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
I refuse to have children now. My husband wants to
open our marriage.

Speaker 4 (45:36):
Stop it.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
My husband, thirty one male, and I twenty nine female,
have been together for eight years. The last three we've
been married, little things keep adding up and I don't
even know how to approach these issues. He wants kids soon,
but I can't trust that he'd support me. I'm trying
to figure out if I try to work on us
or just leave. And by the way, this comes from
user throw Away chronically, and if you want to submit

(45:57):
your own stories, go to the Honor Slashowcase story time subreddit. Recently,
as in the last four years, I've been dealing with
chronic health issues. But just this year alone, I've had
three surgeries to fix various things for my health. Our
spicy sleep life hasn't been good and in a few years.
In the few years since I've gotten ill, maybe once
or twice a month, he's told me that it's not enough,

(46:20):
and he's feeling rejected and it's making his mental health worse.
But if we have kids, we won't be able to
have spicy sleep while I'm recovering, I work five to
six days a week, twelve hour night shifts in healthcare.
I am the primary breadwinner in our relationship. He bounces
from job to job and recently was unemployed for over
a year. While he was claiming to be applying to jobs.

(46:43):
I know the job market is horrible right now, so
I wasn't pushing I found out he was lying. He
hadn't applied for anything in about six months, including the
jobs I got him recommended for through some connections I had.
We got into a massive fight and I basically, and
I basically told him if he'd didn't have a job
at the end of the month, I was leaving and
he could figure out bills himself. Not even a week later,

(47:06):
he was back working at his old job. I still
do all the cooking, cleaning in household upkeep. On my
days off, I spend three to four hours just putting
everything in order for the week. Even when he wasn't working,
he wasn't doing anything except playing video games in another
room while I slept, So when I'd wake up, there
would be laundry I'd have to switch, or cat litter

(47:27):
I'd have to scoop. He wants kids soon, but with
my chronic health problems, it's going to make children a
really hard process on my body. Lots of health risks,
and I would basically have to be on bed rest
the whole time, and in and out of doctor's appointments.
I couldn't work or do anything really, and I'm just
scared I won't get the support that I need. I
don't even know if I want to have kids with
him anymore. He gets money every month from a settlement,

(47:50):
and he says it's enough to make up for the
income I won't be bringing in if I get pregnant.
The settlement payout every month is less than one fourth
of what I make in two weeks. I feel like
I'm his mother already. I feel like i'd be one
of those married, single moms. I've asked about therapy individual
or couples, and he is dismissive, saying therapy hasn't helped

(48:11):
in the past, so I've asked about medications, but he
doesn't want to take a pill every day. I don't
want to come across as horrible or manipulative, but I'm
about ready to write out everything I do, bill payments, chores,
time at work, everything, and have him do it all
for a month. Then tell me he thinks we can
have kids right now. Edit a few things, since this
is a real story and not AI and I am

(48:33):
a real person who is making choices in order to
keep up with the current economy and situation. I work
the hours I do so I can build up my
paid time off and sick time for my procedure and
recovery time. Yes, I have FMLA for these, but it
only pays out sixty percent of my wage versus one
hundred percent if I use paid time off over time.

(48:54):
A cruise paid time off at double the rate and
pays time and a half. We also have a pickup
bonus of ten dollars an hour I have been I
have been working at this hospital since twenty fifteen, as
a CNA and phlebotomist since twenty eighteen, and an URN
since twenty twenty. So I have seniority and that comes
with benefits. Yay unions. I work night shift because it

(49:17):
has the flexibility for my schedule and they work with
me for my restrictions. I'm lucky enough to work in
a hospital that uses lifts and is staffed as well
as can be currently. Shift differential also gives me an
additional six dollars an hour, and that quickly adds up.
My surgeries were a laparoscopic, and recovery time is about
one to four weeks on average. Surgery one and three

(49:39):
were both exploratory. My second was to remove a lesion
on my intestines that connected them to my abdominal law
as well as assist on my ovary and recovery was
four weeks with four more on restrictions. I'm about to
have a fourth surgery to remove my gallbladder. Recovery is
one to two weeks with two weeks of recovery. Yes,
I've had a lot of surgeries this year, but I

(49:59):
have had any before this unless you count Upper and
Lower gisco's public floor testing, gastrict emptying tests, X ray
cts and MRI labs, genetic testing and heat A scams,
or maybe the diet changes and medications that you have
to be on for months at a time before you
see any real changes count as well. I don't know.
I also have the birth control implant and me coming

(50:20):
off of that would involve about three different doctors inputs
and oversight. I blocked all of my husband's accounts and
his friend's accounts that I know of. I plan on
deleting this at some point, but I've just gotten angrier
with each comment and everything I type out. At this point,
I don't care if he finds this. Maybe it would
be a wake up call he needs. Oh it sounds
like OP is like done with baby and child's husband.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
Please be Donner be done now. You don't need to explain.
I feel like OP. He keeps trying to convince us,
and everyone in the comments is probably like, nah, a girl,
we're convinced, leave him, And she's like, no, I really
gotta convince you.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
No.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
I think that's uh. I think that I think she
got there. I hope from the comments comments she's like
every comment I read, I'm even more upset at my
bad hotspect.

Speaker 4 (51:06):
Yeah, you just got to convince yourself, girl.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
Our wedding was supposed to take place in November of
twenty twenty that obviously didn't happen. We rescheduled to the
end of twenty twenty one so we didn't lose deposits.
He quit his job about two months after our wedding. Well,
people do things like meal prep for a week and
find relaxation in cooking. My hospital provides scrubs. When I'm home.
I have more than six pairs of underwear, so it's

(51:30):
not like I don't have clothes if I don't do
laundry every day. And there's the update. I had my
surgery a few days ago, and since I have time off,
I figured i'd write an update for anyone curious. It
will be long, and I apologize. I talked with my
lawyer last week and the hope is papers are to
be drafted and he will be formally served when he
comes back from his work trip in two weeks. On

(51:51):
one of my days off, I wanted to have a
discussion about our relationship and it didn't go well. I
had spent the night cleaning and getting the house put
together because my anxiety was so bad. When he woke
up in the morning, I had breakfast made and we
made polite small talk. I started the conversation by asking
him if he was happy in our relationship. Here's the
summary of the conversation, me, are you happy like this

(52:12):
with us? I feel like we're roommates more than a
married couple.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
I don't think either of us have been happy for
a while. I do still love you and want to
raise children with you. You'll be a great mom. I've
been meeting to talk to you about something.

Speaker 5 (52:26):
Okay, do you remember my friends in the city and
how they were having problems in their relationship after one
of them came out of ace, how they opened their
relationship so they could get his needs met.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
At this point, I was just staring at him, but
he kept rambling on.

Speaker 6 (52:49):
I've joined some groups online and they said it shaved
their marriage. And with how much I'm traveling now for work,
it would be every other two weeks, you know, and
I'm in this city, so it's not like it would
be someone you know or whatever.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
Meet what the ELV I mean talking about it?

Speaker 4 (53:08):
We could have a surgate this way.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
I know it would be a lot, but we could.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
Make it work. You're always talking about fostering or adopting,
and it would just.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Be like that did you get someone pregnant? Is this
your way of telling me you cheat on me when
you travel for work.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
No?

Speaker 3 (53:25):
No, no, God No.

Speaker 4 (53:28):
There was one girl at a bar who was flirting
with me, and it just felt nice to be wanted
like that.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
Then pulled out his phone and started showing me support
groups he had joined online for poly people in monogamous relationships.
There were probably three or four of them that he
had been texting in for the last few weeks, trying
to gain the confidence to talk to me about opening
up our relationship. He brought up how he knows I've
been thinking about switching to travel contracts and I can

(53:54):
meet people there, but then when we come back home,
we're together and married because we still love each other.
I have nothing against people who are in polly relationships.
We have friends who are and have met their partners
and go out all together. It's just not for me.
When I'm with someone, I want to be only with them,
and I want to be the only person there with

(54:15):
I don't want to get tested regularly. I don't want
to risk surprise pregnancy. I don't want to feel jealous
or wonder if he's texting another girl while he's supposed
to be spending time with me. I let him finish
his speech before telling him, it hasn't felt like we've
been married in a long time, and I'm done hearing
he wanted to see other people. Really obliterated any last

(54:39):
feelings that I had for him. We both want kids,
but our timelines and futures are different now. I asked
him to move out, and he didn't seem surprised. I
drove to my friend's house because I just could not
be there. We spent the day drinking and talking. Also,
she is divorcing her ex over his regular corn usage.

(55:00):
Next day, I came home and he'd moved most of
his things out. His side of the closet was empty.
Some wedding photos were gone, and the house felt incredibly empty.
Even though I was used to being alone when he traveled,
this was different and my heart hurt. A few days later,
his mom reached out to check on me. We had
lunch and talked about everything. She asked if I'd considered
couples counseling, but I told her I'd been asking for

(55:22):
that for over a year and he always refused. I explained,
I can't keep feeling like his mother and supporting everything alone.
By the end, we were both crying and she hugged
me goodbye. He came over the next day to talk
and it was awkward. He tried to kiss me and
I turned my head. He apologized for not helping at
home and said he was looking into a job in

(55:43):
his field so he wouldn't have to travel. I told
him i'd have divorce papers ready soon. Nice. Yeah, don't
worry about not traveling for me. I'm divorcing you.

Speaker 4 (55:52):
You can travel far far away from me and never come.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
Yes, you can go to you can go get a
job with Lord Farquad in the far far away land.

Speaker 4 (55:59):
Please.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Yes, you can go.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
Drop that ring off at Mordor because I don't want to.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
See it again in the volcano.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
That was really good and I didn't even realize that
it would be so good until I had finished it,
because I was just thinking, like, that's a fart. But
then I was like the ring.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
Sorry, guys, are you hearing this? Folks?

Speaker 4 (56:15):
I just need to analyze what I.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
Just She's blown away by her own greatness?

Speaker 4 (56:20):
How did I do it?

Speaker 1 (56:21):
Much like, let's not go there, divorce papers ready. I
helped him pack some things that he'd left and then
he left again. Good job on divorcing your manchild husband.
We got there, man, We got there in the end, Yeah,
we did. We wanted to see, let's, you know, get
ahead of that. If we got manchild husband for six months,

(56:44):
talk to him about it at three months.

Speaker 4 (56:46):
I think the theme of this episode of these two
stories is expediency. Yes, when your partner starts acting crazy,
take him to a doctor. When your partner starts sucking,
divorce them.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
At the appointment with the lawyer, we talked about what
it would look like for the divorce process. Unless he
wants the house, I plan to buy out his half.
If I do that, then there's a good chance I
won't have to pay alimony unless he fights for it.
He has the potential to make more than me, so
my lawyer doesn't think I'll have to pay anyway. We
don't have children unless you count fur babies, and I

(57:19):
took a pregnancy test recently to confirm that I'm not pregnant,
so that won't be a factor. We each own our
cats and pay for them ourselves. We have a joint savings,
but I can prove I've been the only one contributing
for the last two years, so it's likely i'll get
most of that. I'm not touching it besides for the
bills for the house for my lawyer's advice. I will

(57:40):
hopefully have papers for my soon to be ex to
fill out and if he gets a lawyer to look over.
My two cats have been laying in bed with me
and haven't left my side since he left. They're trying
to make me feel better, but it's hard. My friend,
who is also getting a divorce, has said that we'll
have a Hot Girls Summer together and it makes me laugh.
But I don't think I'm ready or even close to it.

(58:03):
I don't want to meet new people. I don't want
to go do first dates again. I think I'm just
gonna be single for a while. That's literally Hot Girl Summer,
Hot Girl Summer. Hot Girl Summer is about not dating.

Speaker 4 (58:15):
I agree. Yeah, that's the whole point of Hot Girl Summer.
You don't date, and then by the fall that's when
you start dating. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
Comment number one guy can't do dishes but is ready
to be a father and sleep with strangers. Okay, bud.
Yeah even says she'd be a great mother, but nothing
about him. He was like, Hey, you're taking care of
me entirely, so I know you can take care of
him too. This man was never going to do any
parenting another does see Do we get ope replying here

(58:43):
at all? No, because we all know. Guess what, guys,
that guy was a little boo googole got got baby
man child literally googole got got change my diapers.

Speaker 4 (58:53):
And figure it out what I was ordering here you
googoog gaga. No, I was having a lot of trouble
trying to think about the story and sushi.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Let's end it with that fool imploded his marriage and
then ran home to cry at mommy's house.

All Episodes

My best friend accused her husband of having an AFFAIR… with me! - r/okstorytime | Redditstories

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Breakfast Club

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My best friend accused her husband of having an AFFAIR… with me! - r/okstorytime | Redditstories