My best friend is FURIOUS that I got pregnant during her “wedding year”… she says I’m stealing her shine! - r/AITAH | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts. We have some spectacular stories coming up, but
real quick we get a two minute break from our
lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
My best friend is furious I got pregnant during her
wedding year because I'm stealing her shine. Trigger warnings missage, Okay,
so let this be no uh, there's a trigger warning here.
Please if you don't want to listen to that, click off.
Best friend thirty one female and I thirty one female,
have been best friends for over twelve years, since we

(00:33):
were nineteen and roommates in college. She lives thirteen hundred
miles away from me, so most of our friendship has
been long distance, minus the year that we live together
in college.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
By the way, this comes from Personality No.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Twenty five thirty six, And if you want to submit
your own stories, just go to the r slash Okay
Storytime subbreddits. Come on, put all that that venting into
the sub vent So my best friend has been there
for me through some incredible difficult times, and I've been
there for her as well. She helped me when I
was twenty to get out of an abusive home and

(01:06):
a few years ago when I was so severely depressed
that I had to go to an inpatient treatment. In turn,
I supported her through every breakup both with friends and partners,
her dad nearly passing away of COVID, the loss of
her pets, and more. Wow, so you've been there, You
have been there through it all. To say that we
have been there for each other through everything would be

(01:27):
an understatement, at least in my eyes. That being said,
we are not the same nineteen year old kids we
were when we first met. She has done some things
that upset me, but I've moved on from them. For example,
when I was turning thirty, I planned a trip to
Disney World to celebrate. Disney is particularly special for both
of us with my family. Her birthday is exactly seven

(01:48):
days before mine, and technically I was flying into Disney
World on her birthday, but not going into the park.
We had no plans at all to see each other
on each other's birthdays. When I told her months prior
that I was going to Disney for my thirtieth, she
cried and ghosted me for a couple of days, having
a meltdown because she couldn't handle me going to Disney
on her birthday. While she didn't have the ability to go,

(02:10):
come on, come on, oh man, my goodness. To fix this,
she and her now fiance then partner decided to max
out a credit card and go themselves.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Hey.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Hey, they went about six months before my trip, and
that's when they got engaged.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
At the time, I was super confused and upset.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
I didn't understand why I couldn't just go to Disney
without her freaking out about it. But she went before me,
and I didn't care. If that's what she needed to
do to process, then whatever. Yeah, I left it alone
and we went back to normal. Another situation happened about
a year ago when I lost my job. Truthfully, I
had life ending thoughts and negative and trauma dumped on

(02:52):
her too much, which strained our friendship. Rightfully, so after
apologizing and doing therapy work, we got back to normal.
I'm not perfect, but I've always tried to be thoughtful
and accountable when I've messed up. Thankfully, I've been in
a far healthier place mentally for over a year now
and this hasn't been an issue again. Now to the
situation at hand, I've been married to my husband for

(03:13):
nearly seven years.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
She who was my maid of honor.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
I have always wanted children, and she has always known this. She,
on the other hand, has never wanted children, and that's okay.
My husband and I started trying for a baby about
a year or two ago, but when I lost my job,
we put it on hold. Once I got a new
job and we were financially stable again, we decided to
go off birth control and start trying in October twenty
twenty four.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
She knew this.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
I also live in a state where pregnancy termination is
completely illegal, and she does not. My husband and I
have always wanted two kids, though we'd be okay if
one pregnancy.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
Was too difficult for me.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Of course, I know women have children past thirty five,
but the risks increase being in a state where I
wouldn't have access to a medically necessary pregnancy termining. We
didn't want to try for children past thirty five if
we could help it, so we decided to start now
since I'm already thirty one. Meanwhile, my best friend has
been engaged for almost two years. By the time they

(04:12):
get married this year, it will have been two point
five years. I am and was her maid of honor,
just as she was for mine. On January second, I
found out I was pregnant, and my husband and I
were so happy.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Congratulations boom.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
I told my sister first, and then I told my
best friend because I figured that if the worst happened,
she and my sister would be the ones there for me.
When she answered the phone, the first thing that she
said was so, when are you do and immediately started
talking about her wedding, asking if I'd still be pregnant
by then. My due date was about six weeks before

(04:46):
her wedding. I could tell instantly that she was upset
that I was pregnant. I have a lot of trauma
in my life, and I tend to cope by people pleasing.
I could tell she was upset, so I started placating her,
saying I knew that the timing wasn't deal and that
I didn't want a baby in September either because there
were already so many birthdays in my family that month,
and basically tried to convince her that it would be okay.

(05:09):
I even asked her if she was mad at me,
because I knew she was. After that phone call, she
ghosted me for four days, barely replying to my texts,
only giving short responses. Finally, after four days, she told
me to call her so that we could talk. That
call lasted about an hour and a half, where I
basically coddled her and reassured her that I did not

(05:32):
plan to miss her wedding and that this didn't change anything.
The only difference would be that I'd have to wear
postpartum diapers under my dress. We aren't drinkers, so her
bachelorette party was never going to be some wild Vegas rager.
I didn't see how my pregnancy and then having a
newborn by her wedding would impact anything. My husband and

(05:52):
I have a strong family support system, so we knew
we could have family watch the baby, or even fly
up there with the babies so I could be there
for my best friend on her big day. I had
to practically beg her to understand that I wasn't abandoning her,
and even apologized for adding a wrench into her wedding plan.
That's ridiculous, That's not ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
It's not a wrench. You are living. Your life does
not stop because she's getting married the next day, on
the literal anniversary of our friendship.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
She texted me saying that she wanted another follow up call.
Apparently she was okay now, but her fiance just couldn't
handle this, and she wanted me to talk him down
the way I had with her.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
What Oh, he can't handle it? What's wrong with these people?
I didn't want to do this.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Her whole reaction had already been difficult and stressful, and
I didn't want to spend another hour and a half
coddling her fiance. While I'm friends with him, he's not
my best friend. So I basically said, I'm not sure
what I can say to him that I haven't already
said to you. She then told me that she didn't
feel like my husband and I considered her wedding being

(06:58):
in ten months when we decided to go for it,
and that I wasn't being realistic with her about being
able to be at her wedding.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, I'm sorry. Who would consider your wedding that's ten
months away? Again, the world doesn't revolve around you, not
at all. So crazy.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
She said that twenty twenty five is a big year
and that people automatically think that a pregnancy is more
important than a wedding, and she didn't want people to
only focus on me and not her. Basically, twenty twenty
five is supposed to be her year, and now that
I'm pregnant, that makes this year.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
Not all about her and somehow puts her wedding in jeopardy.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Girl, I truly do not understand this, as we don't
share friend and family groups, and I would never expect
her to pause her life the year I have a
major life event, So it really upset me that she
basically expected me to put my life on pause for
a year so only she and her fiance could have
twenty twenty five.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
I was like, what is it what I was supposed
to do? Yeah, put the baby back. Yeah. She's like, oh, sorry,
I'll pause really quick. Sorry, Yeah, thank you. Sorry.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
I told her this is my reply, that her reaction
had made me regret telling her about the pregnancy and
honestly getting pregnant in the first place. I also told
her that I live in a state where it's dangerous
to be a woman, and it's not fair to expect
me to put my life on pause for her wedding.
I explained that best friends share life events all the time.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Especially in their thirties.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
They get married, have kids, change jobs, move, get divorced,
et cetera, all at the same time, and it doesn't
negate or take away from each other.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
It's okay to celebrate each other this year, it lovely
would have been for her to be supportive and be like,
oh my god, I'm gonna be like, get a tea.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Basically, yeah, doesn't take away each other's shine. She told
me that she needed to process this and couldn't respond yet.
I said that that's okay, give it some time and
I'll be there. Two days later, I'm oh, my gosh,
wh this was one of the worst effing experiences of
my life, and I'm still not over it. I cry

(09:06):
thinking about the baby I lost and the fear that
I'll never have a baby or a family in the future.
Even two weeks later. It's a wound I'm sure I'll
always carry around. I texted her at four am when
I was mas telling her I was pretty sure that
was what was happening, but that I didn't want to
talk about it.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Really.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
I didn't want to talk about it with her after
her response to the news in the first place. I
didn't trust talking to her about it or what she
would say yeah. She would probably just be like she'd.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Be like, oh, sorry, and I ring in this up.
You're making more drama. Well wow, Or she'd just be like,
oh no, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
But then she'd be like okay, well at least yeah,
like psycho behavior, Yeah, no, that's it would be insane.
I probably shouldn't have even said anything, to be honest,
but I was bleeding heavily in the bathroom in the
middle of the night, and I texted my best friend
to let her know. She didn't text me back until
two thirty pm the day, and send what felt like
a pretty generic message, basically saying I didn't know what

(10:05):
to say. If you think this is happening, then I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
I didn't respect. If your best friend says, hey, I
just had a miscarriage, call them, yeah, I would be
over out there. I would say, oh my god, are
you okay, I'm on my way. Yeah. We don't have
to talk about it. I'll just be there, just be there. Yeah.
And if you don't live close, then i'll call. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
But a text, come on, oh my gosh, and this
short of a text too.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
I didn't respond. I didn't respond to most people that day.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
I was actively bleeding, crying and scared for myself, my baby,
and my health. She never checked in again, ridiculous. She
didn't send me a text later to see if I
was okay, how I was doing, if it was confirmed,
if my husband, who was also her friend, was okay. Nothing,
just the one generic. If that's what's happening, then I'm sorry,
and that was it. Three days later, I went to

(10:55):
the obie who did an ultrasound and confirmed that I
had lost the baby. Shared on my socials that I
went through a miscarriage.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Oh wow.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
I've always for ten years shared on my social media
when I'm not okay. When I went through treatment, I shared,
I've always shared. It wasn't for her and wasn't about her.
It was about me being honest about what happened and
showing that it's not something to be ashamed of. She
saw my post. You can see who's viewed your stories.
But again, no texts, no calls, nothing to check in

(11:25):
on me. Now to today, it's been over two weeks
and hasn't said a word to me at all. We
went from talking literally every single day for twelve years
to her ghosting me completely for two weeks while I
was actively going through the worst thing in my life today.
I sent a text to basically saying, Hey, I don't
know what's going on, but you're not saying anything for
two weeks has been upsetting me. I gave you time

(11:48):
to figure out a response, and I'm confused why it's
taken this long.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
But I'll be here when you're ready.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
By the way, we will always be here when you
are ready to listen to full episodes more stories just
like this one.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Just go to our slash Okay story time subbredit we'd
be there for you. It's true.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Then I got these texts, so yes I did. This
is from from the friend, by the way, so yes,
I did. Need time to process the last thing you
said to me. You said you felt like you were
made to feel regret about being pregnant and regretted ever
telling me. But you didn't express any of this until
the day I said Blank wanted to talk about all
of it with you directly because it does affect him too.

(12:26):
It's his wedding year two. This is like you don't
get a whole wedding.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Yeah. This is like when girls say like birthday month,
birthday month. Yeah. The other people were born then, yeah, yeah,
this is crazy.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
These are really long text by the way, these are
like paragraphs paragraphs.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
There's like three giant paragraphs screen full of texts like
berating ope after a miscarriage. Again, Yeah, that's insane.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
No, that's that's wild, wild behavior, to be sure. Yeah, Lissy,
she continues, So you were fine until being confronted with reality.
Oh my god, but I would throw up all over
this front.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
She's getting worse.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
The person who is supposed to be my best friend
just instead chose to blame me and my partner for
her own feelings about her own pregnancy. That's absolutely not
my responsibility to manage. Well, it's not my responsibility to
manage your fringing winning.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yeah. Absolutely, that goes both ways, girly.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Absolutely, you said something like it's not on me to
make him okay with this, and in the same breath
you said you were made to feel bad about your
own pregnancy when you should feel joy. How is that
our responsibility? But just having a realistic conversation as adults
was just asking.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
Way too much from you.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
None of it makes any sense and it doesn't matter
what I say. The responsibility will never fall on you
and I will always come out as the bad guy,
because that's just how it is when you make a
decision that ultimately hurts me, and I just push it
down and swallow it because it's not worth the cost.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
But I just can't swallow it this time.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
And then you said me, don't feel comfortable talking about
it and feel very effing alone and sad right now.
So I let you know that I really did feel
bad about what was happening, but you never replied and
didn't want to talk to me about it. Fine, but
then you post on socials several times about it instead,
and now you're disappointed and upset and confused that you

(14:25):
haven't heard from me. It's incredibly childish and I don't
want any.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
Part in that. Oh my god, we're only halfway through.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Ah, insane, this is insane, giving this whole conversation. Like
if that first text about the wedding stuff was just
said after the wedding stuff happened, yeah, that would be
like still crazy, but like, ah, another thing, yeah, but
this is after Yeah, the fact that she's still making
this an issue after this terrible thing, it's like, oh
my goodness.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
But she continues.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
This whole thing has been blown out of proportion, when
all I wanted from the start was for you to
acknowledge reality instead of the delusional fantasy that nothing would
change and that everything will be fine and that nothing.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
Will stop me from being there.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Not willing to discuss any backup plans, not willing to
discuss the reality, but just gaslighting our concerns to oblivion.
No one in their right mind who has actually given
birth would make promises like that, girl.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
Oh no, oh gosh, oh man. Also just like just
doubly cruel. Yeah, to say to someone who just loves
to be to say, oh, who's actually given birth, Yeah,
double really cruel, so incredibly insensitive. But you shut that
down with blind optimism and never actually listen to the

(15:42):
real issues. You just made it about you and the
facts that you were pregnant, and it was allegedly my fault.
You were so upset.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
You've been trying to manipulate how I feel by love
bombing me and telling me that you're hurt, and by
begging me to not be mad when you first told
me your test is positive, so that automatically I'm the
bad guy for being upset no matter what. It's bonkers, actually,
but it's not even worth talking about anymore, because no
matter what I say, you always end up the victim

(16:10):
anytime you make a choice that hurts me, because yes,
you've done it several times over the years, you always
have some convenient justifications for it, and it gets flipped
to me because being the problem for being upset and
you're the one who's being hurt. So, yeah, I'm tired,
and I'm done into this amount of texts. Yeah yeah,

(16:31):
honestly making me read that much?

Speaker 3 (16:34):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
And that last part about like you always have some
sort of convenient excuse or justification.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
She when she.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Literally had a miscarriage, my girl, oh so convenient, terrible friend,
so terrible, Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. So now
I'm just so effing confused. I don't know what she
means when she says I've manipulated her, that I've love
bombed her by coddling her about my pregnancy to get
her to calm the f down, or that I'm always

(17:06):
the victim and she's the bad guy. I'm truly so confused,
and mad Am I manipulating? Was I wrong for getting
pregnant in the first place? Should I have kept this
a secret. No no, no, no at all, not at all.
I really don't know what I did wrong, and I
feel like I need some third party voices to help
me see the truth.

Speaker 3 (17:26):
So am I the ale?

Speaker 2 (17:27):
Am? Someone commented, not the a hole. She's not your friend.
Friends don't treat each other's this way. A true friend
would be happy for you being pregnant. All she cares
about is herself. I suggest not going to her wedding
and cutting her and her toxic husband off for good.
Quit trying to please her. Grow a spine and stand
up for yourself. Don't allow people to treat you this way.
And then someone replied to that, I wonder if the

(17:49):
husband was as upset as Bridezilla made him out to be.
I really can't imagine many guys that would care one
way or the other, but I'd cut him.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
I'd cut both of them.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
Loose people change a lot intowelve years, so true Opie
has grown while her friend hasn't been able to get
beyond middle school mentally. Someone else responds, right, the ex
friend and boyfriend are like, she didn't stop to think
about us when she was having unprotected, spicy sleep with
her husband. Opie responds to that. Unfortunately, that is exactly

(18:18):
what she said. When I was on that hour and
a half long phone call. She said that she and
her fiance were literally talking about, quote, why did he
have to finish inside you during December?

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Come on?

Speaker 3 (18:32):
Or something like that.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
I don't remember how she worded it, but it stunned
me so much when she said it. I was taken
aback by her saying that and should have stopped it
right there, but continued to try to be empathetic and
calm her anxiety.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
But yes, they literally.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Discussed with each other that they were mad that two
married adults had unprotected spicy sleep eleven months before their wedding.
Then told me while crying that they said that, and
I continued to try to be empathetic. I see as
I write these things that I been unfair to myself.
I made myself small to calm someone down and appease
them over something that wasn't wrong with me to do

(19:06):
in the first place. I hear what you were all saying,
and I appreciate all the responses, and that is it.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
Our friendship bended over Chinese food sounds well right, sounds
pretty justified. Okay, So I know the title sounds ridiculous,
but hear me out For background. I twenty eight female,
recently graduated college. I've always been kind of socially awkward,
and being an older student, I found it hard to
make friends, but I decided to really make more of

(19:34):
an effort in my senior year. By the way, this
comes from Little Missy and if you want to spit
your own stories, go to our slashokey story time separated show.
I met a girl let's call her Wi Fi Sure
twenty three female through a friend and we hit it off.
We ended up forming a little friend circle with about
eight people. We often hung out one on one or

(19:56):
in smaller groups as well. She was really nice, fun
and very bubbly. I enjoyed her company a lot and
thought highly of her. I ben introvert by nature, and
while I enjoy people, I generally do so in short bursts.
Then I need to recharge with lots of a loane time.
At the beginning of our last quarter, we were on
a ten week quarter system, she told me she was

(20:18):
struggling because she's extremely extroverted and most of our group
were introverts. She said it was hard to get them
to go out often and the loneliness was really affecting her.
By this time, I had grown to really care about her.
I also wanted to put more effort into building friendships,
so I decided to go all in on supporting her.
This meant we went from hanging out maybe once a

(20:39):
week to three times a week. I also tried to
help support her more in our group chat, helping her
plan and encourage people to come to events. These meetups
could be anything from nights out at bars, to study sessions, brunches,
or even crochet nights. I honestly enjoyed spending time with
her and the group, but it was also a lot
for me to handle, especially with my school commitments and

(21:01):
the different clubs I was on the boards for. Still,
I felt like it was important, so I kept at it.
Still I felt like it was important, so I kept
at it. Figuring I'd have plenty of alone time once
I moved home after graduation, I thought I should put
my energy into making memories and relationships, even if it
was tiring at times some other important context. While we
got along really well, like any relationship, we also had

(21:23):
our spats. I felt they were relatively minor, and we
talked them out well. One disagreement we had was about
how she acted at bars. She's super extroverted and very pretty,
so whenever we went out, she drew a lot of attention.
She would bounce all around the rooms, striking up conversations
with everyone, flirting with some guys, chatting with others, making

(21:44):
new girlfriends, and just generally being very bubbly and gregarious.
I honestly really admired this about her. Like I said,
I'm introverted and tend to be overly reserved around people,
so I admired how naturally she connected with others, how
easily she talked to strangers. I call implemented her on this. Later,
she told me she felt insulted. That's like what she said.

(22:04):
I made her sound like a slute in front of
her guy friends. Dude, come on, I say, why are
you taking like that? She told me she didn't appreciate
me mentioning her talking to guys or how bubbly and
friendly she was, because she felt it painted her as
a bimbo when she was trying really hard to be
seen as smart and educated. That's on you, girl, that's
on you. Where are you taking this way? Yeah? I

(22:24):
apologized and told her that I had not intended any
insult or put down. I genuinely admired her. I also
told her that I thought she was both extremely intelligent
and extremely bubbly, and I didn't see them as mutually exclusive. Yeah,
you can be like friendly and also intelligent. Absolutely. I
told her I thought she was brilliant, sociable, and chatty,
and that I hadn't meant to embarrass her, but I

(22:47):
acknowledged how she felt, apologized for anything I had said
that upset her, and agreed not to talk about her
with the guys. She also apologized for misunderstanding me and
said she was a little self conscious about it. Okay, well,
she apologized she's aware of you. I thought that was
the end of it. I'm guessing it was not. Oh No.

(23:08):
I was really happy we were able to have such
a good conversation and work through it, because I thought
it meant we had a healthy relationship. Another disagreement we
had was over how she dressed. Like I said, she's
really pretty, and whenever we went out, she would wear
outfits that accentuated that crop tops, mini dresses, et cetera,
and she always looked amazing. To be clear, I am

(23:30):
a Girl's girl. I think women should dress and act
however it makes them feel their best, because that's just obvious.
But she would go out, get a lot of attention,
talk with people, exchange numbers, et cetera, and then start
complaining about how uncomfortable it was to be looked at
all the time. She would say she wished we could
go out for once with Justice girls and be left alone,

(23:50):
and that it really upset her. So I told her
that if it really bothered her that much, then she
had the option of dressing more conservatively or in baggyar
clothes to try to avoid attention. She got really pissed
and asked if I was slute shaming her. I told
her I wasn't. I thought she looked really pretty. But
if being looked at upset her as much as she
was saying, she had at least taught the option to
try and avoid it. Though I knew there was no

(24:11):
way to completely avoid being looked at or guarantee being
left alone, but it was worth a try. Yeah, she
got upset and says she should be able to walk
around on clothed and not be stared at, And then
I was slut shaming her and saying she was asking
for attention. I agreed that women should be able to
wear whatever they want without being aggled, but I also
pointed out that this was the world we lived in
right now. I told her I didn't like seeing her

(24:33):
this upset and was just trying to offer alternative solutions
to help her feel better, but ultimately she should wear
whatever she wants, and I was sorry if I came
across as judge. I had really just wanted to help
her stop being upset. She accepted my apology and we
just kind of dropped it. I didn't really appreciate her
accusing me of slute shaming her, but I also know
I can be kind of old fashioned in my ideas,

(24:55):
so I just chalked it up to a difference in
opinion slash background.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
So well, moving on to graduation, we were meeting up
literally every day because she was worried about the group
breaking up and being lonely during the summer. She wanted
to make memories, but it was honestly a lot, especially
since it was also during finals week. Oh, I just
felt like this was the final stretch and I needed
to tough it out for a few days. Then I'd
be at home on my mom's sofa with more alone

(25:20):
time than I knew what to do with, so I
went with it. However, I was admittedly tired and kind
of at the end of my emotional tether girl, you
need to learn how to say no. I think that's
the moral of the story. You need to learn how
to say no, he says. I just can't go out.
It's a skill. She and I went out for Chinese
food with two other people from our group. Some other
friends of mine were meeting up with us later for

(25:41):
the end of dinner and some drinks at the bar
next door. Afterward. When we sat down and were looking
at the menu, Whifi said something about wanting the pork
fed rice. I commented that we should get the vegetable
rides since our friend was vegetarian. She gave me a
weird look and asked why our friend being vegetarian meant
she couldn't eat pork. I clarified, saying that it didn't,
but since we were sharing the staples like rice or noodles,

(26:02):
they should be vegetarian so everyone could eat them. Then
we could also get one or two meat dishes as well.
She asked why I assumed she was sharing, and I
pointed out that it was a sharing menu. I don't
know how to explain this, but it was one of
those places where you ordered large plates for the table
and everyone shares. There were no individual mixed plate options anyway.
She said she'd never done that before, and how she'd

(26:23):
never shared her meal at a restaurant or something. Most
Chinese places I've been to are like this. I mean,
that's how I usually do them, yeah, which our other
friends agreed with, But she just said she thought it
was weird. I figured it was a cultural difference, and
she was from a different country. I thought it was
just a new thing for her. She and our friend
went to scope at the bar while our other friend
let's call him Lee for convenience, and I stayed behind

(26:45):
to wait for our food. Wi Fi had ordered the chicken,
which arrived first. Lee immediately served himself some. I was
hesitant since she'd been so weird about it, but Lee
seemed very nonchalant, so I figured I was just overthinking
with my social awkwardness and plated some as well. I
think you should have kept overthinking that. I mean, she
did specifically state she was like, why would I share? Yeah?

(27:08):
Like that was a little bit weird. I don't know,
I have like mixed feelings, so like that was a
little bit weird of reaction because usually when you go
to like Chinese restaurants or even I would say, like
sometimes when you go to Indian restaurants, a lot of
different places. I guess, yeah, it's a lot of like
sharing things, like things that you like, if you have
rice dishes, you'll you know, share forrees and stuff.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Get one and then share it with everyone. Yeah, but
so that was like a little bit different. But her
specifically stating hey, I don't want to share, and then
you guys then eating her food. Yes, a little bit
weird and awkward there.

Speaker 3 (27:44):
Lee also took a sip of her soda when it
arrived and offered me a sip, which I thought was weird, weird.
That's that's much weird. I don't just steal people's sodas
without asking, drinks without asking. A drink is drin is different?
Different drink? This ude? Yeah, However, Wi Fi and I
had shared drinks on numerous occasions before. Okay, so I

(28:06):
thought maybe it was more normal than I realized, and
agreed to have a sip as well. Girl, Come on,
I honestly did think it was kind of weird, but
also I'm introverted and socially anxious, so I also don't
trust my own sense of judgment on these things. A
few minutes later they came back, and by that point
we had a plate full of food. I told her
the chicken was crazy spicy. She kind of froze and
asked if I'd eaten some. Lie said we had, and

(28:28):
mentioned that her soda was super good though, and that
he liked the spice. Okay, you know what, Leeno Pierre
in the wrong? Leano Pierre in the wrong. She kind
of laughed and said really or something, before drinking some herself. However,
for the rest of the night, she would not speak
to me. She talked to Lee Okay, that's weird, and

(28:49):
even my other friends when they arrived, but wouldn't even
look at me at all. I had really hurt my feelings.
I was the only one graduating, and this was supposed
to be a dinner to celebrate, but now my friend
was pretty like I didn't exist. This continued even at
the bar, and I just kind of disassociated since I
was so hurt and overwhelmed. My other friends checked in
on me a few times, but I just said I

(29:10):
was fine and stayed silent otherwise because I didn't even
know how to explain it or what went so wrong.
It also didn't help that I was the designated driver
and had to take everyone home while they all talked
around me. By the time I got home, she had
sent me a long text. She said that she felt
violated by me, and that me eating the chicken after
she said she wasn't okay with it was a clear

(29:32):
power move. She felt I was trying to humiliate her
or show off or something, and the fact that I
hadn't immediately apologized proved it was intentional. She said that
lee was one thing, but she thought better of me. Okay,
it feels dramatic.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yeah, I'm kind of I don't necessarily agree, Yeah, but
I also don't disagree.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
Yeah. I was honestly baffled. She had said she thought
it was weird, but I thought she meant weird as
in something she hadn't done before, didn't realize, not as
her setting a boundary. To be honest, I can see
why she'd be upset about the food thing, because I
had clearly misread the situation and upset her, and that
was wrong of me one hundred percent. However, I was
also super hurt that she ignored me at my graduation

(30:15):
dinner instead of pulling me aside or talking to me later.
That's fair, I think the mature thing would have been
for be like, hey, like, I just asked you not
to eat it. Why did you do that? Yeah? Yeah,
instead of ignoring you. All of this power move humiliation
stuff felt like it came out of nowhere. I felt
so insulted by that I waited until morning to reply
so I could calm down a bit. I apologized for

(30:37):
crossing her boundary, but told her I was honestly kind
of devastated that, after all the time we spent together,
she thought I was the kind of person who'd pull
power moves or tried to intentionally humiliate her. It felt
like she didn't know me at all if she thought
of me like that. We were supposed to do a
friend's brunch and maybe a pot look, but I told
her I wouldn't be doing either, as I wanted some
time to process. She texted me back, upset that I

(30:58):
was letting this ruin the time we had left together,
and insisted that she had been super clear, so it
couldn't have been of miscommunication. There was a lot more
back and forth, but that was the gist of it.
It's also kind of important to note that most of
this text change was happening while I was backstage waiting
to walk for an award at my graduation yikes wow,

(31:19):
until I just turned my phone off for a while.
I ultimately asked her not to text or call me
for a while because I'm not good with emotions and
wanted time to really think things through. She ended up
texting me about once a month through the summer, but
I never replied. At the end of summer, I reached
out and let her know that I just didn't think
we could be friends anymore because she doubted my character
as a person. She chose to pick a text fight

(31:42):
with me during my graduation ceremony, which I felt was
very inconsiderate. Although it had been a few months, I
still just felt really hurt and didn't see a way
for me to get past this or let it go.
I wished her the best, thanked her for being my
friend during school, and wished her a good final year
in graduation. She replied and said she thought my ceremony
was in the afternoon and not the morning, and she'd
wanted to settle things quickly before I left, so the

(32:03):
timing was an accident. By the way, it would never
be an accident. To listen to full episodes of stories
just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or
your favorite podcast app in search of Okay story time.
She said she felt mistreated and hurt, and then it
wasn't just about the chicken. She claimed I repeatedly put
her down and done some seriously mean girl things to her.

(32:24):
She said then how hurt she was that I didn't
want to be friends and felt I was abandoning her
and that it was unfair. She said she'd wait in
case I changed my mind and wanted to be friends again.
So it's been a while, but this still bothers me sometimes.
I posted this here because I genuinely liked to know.
Was I being a mean girl? Was I too quick
to walk away? And I humbly ask you unbiased strangers

(32:46):
for your opinion and we'll answer any questions. Thanks. Also,
sorry it was long. There was a lot and I
didn't realize, but that is the end of that story.
Wow's uh hey, it's Sam.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three
minutes of uh.

Speaker 5 (33:00):
It's from our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
I broke up with my boyfriend after I lost weight.
Everyone in our life is furious. As a couple, we
decided that we were going to get in shape together.
We love being outside and exercise, and we used to
be health nuts and taking care of the food we ate.
By the way, this comes from user b f and

(33:24):
Weight Loss and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay story time subreddit. Do
it there. So, even though we continued to exercise daily,
our food plan wasn't great, so we decided to change it.
We developed a health plan because of it. I went
from one hundred and fifty five pounds and five ten

(33:44):
to one hundred and twenty five pounds currently adding muscle
and toning.

Speaker 5 (33:49):
Five ten and you're one hundred twenty five pounds.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
I have no idea what healthy weights are, but I'm
like six foot two hundred, so five ten one is
like Dan. However, he stayed the same weight six' three
one point, eighty which is perfectly. Fine WHAT i started
to get. Fit lots of guys started to pay attention to,
me And i've been asked several times to be a.

(34:12):
MODEL i won't try to say that this wasn't. Good
it was really good for me and my ego and
my really low self esteem is now at a normal.
Level life's. Good i'm happy And i'm feeling. Good boyfriend
was happy with my new body always grabbing, me but
didn't like the new, attention which is understandable in my.
Opinion he AND i continued to exercise UNTIL i was

(34:34):
one hundred and forty. Pounds he then started to come
up with. Excuses, then AFTER i achieved my goal weight
one thirty, five my boyfriend started to ask for pizza
and other. THINGS i said that it was okay for
me if he ate, it BUT i didn't want. To
he went, nuts started telling me THAT i was obsessed
with weight, loss and That i'm, anorexic and other hurtful.

(34:56):
Things then WHEN i suggested, running, hiking or some physical
activity that we had always done in the, past he
would always say no and suggest other things like watching a.
MOVIE i haven't those bassis lee but, cooking and would
make me feel guilty for leaving to do some. Exercise
As i've, said. Before we've done this daily since we.
Met until my one hundred and forty pound. MARK i

(35:18):
was starting to feel really unhappy as all the THINGS
i loved that we both loved to do in the
past were being. Neglected AND i am just not a
person to stay indoors WATCHING tv and. RELAXING i hate.
IT i have lots of. Energy the final THING i
discovered why he didn't lose weight when he was trying so.

(35:38):
HARD i don't get, it those were his. Words he
packed his healthy lunch at home and then when dump,
It i'm so effing. ANGRY i hate when people waste,
food and he would eat pizza or a sub or.
McDonald's i saw a, receipt asked him about, it and
after some time in which he tried to say he didn't,
remember he proceeded to. CONFESS i broke it off with
him right, there As i've had. Enough. Wow, Wow, okay

(36:03):
we do still have a lot of, storyline but, wow.

Speaker 5 (36:07):
This is something that WHERE i agree.

Speaker 4 (36:09):
With the breakup is. Fine your personalities are just you're drifting.
Off you found new, interests new hobbies that you really,
love and you cannot force people to change that way
if they do it with, you, great but if they
don't want to do, it you really can't force. Them
and if you don't want to do, it that's, perfect
okay with splitting.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
UP i don't even think it's. THAT i think it's
just the lie that made her do. IT i don't
think it's the fact that he's, LIKE i don't want
to eat, THAT i want to eat. McDonald's it's more
than like she was helping in some way to make those,
lunches in the fact they just threw it.

Speaker 4 (36:39):
Away like it could be the toxic trait of, like,
Hey i'm doing all of, this Like i'm getting, healthier
and like you're trying to put that in everyone's, life
and like if they don't, say, HEY i don't want.
That and that's one, Thing but it seems like the
boyfriend agreed to like a healthy lifestyle and it was, Like,
okay let's do this. Together i'm down for a healthy
lifestyle and just blatantly lied and just, like, No i'm
just gonna.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Eat maybe just the jealousy vibes trying to be, like,
hey lets you don't. Healthy let's you don't. Healthy she's, like,
NO i don't want to do. THAT i want to
keep you.

Speaker 4 (37:05):
Going it seemed like there were JUST opi had their
own lifestyle and the boyfriend had their own, lifestyle and
they just split, off like they didn't go to movies together.
Anymore LIKE i think you have to find a good
median of, Both like you can have a cheap, day
cheat day is, fine that's allowed if you. Want WHEN opi, said,
oh the idea of going to the, movies, Like i'm
just don't want for. That i'm, like you also are

(37:26):
dating this, Person like you guys don't have to have
a Like, okay we're either doing running or we're sitting
on the couch all. Day it's, like you guys can
go out to, dinner you guys can go to the.
Movies you guys can do. Something but it seems like
they both naturally just like weren't agreeing with.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
Anything, well let's agree tinue this story. Now he told
everyone THAT i became a shallow witch WHEN i lost,
weight AND i want to have a man with abs
and B i. Candy everyone believes. Him this is a small,
town And i'm being seen as the thing shallow. Witch
at the same, time he's sending dozens of messages every

(38:00):
one hundred plus asking me to consider it that he loves.
Me what CAN i? DO i love him a lot
AND i want to be with, him but NOW i
just don't recognize, him and our fun times of the
past are completely. LOST i fell in love with his
full of, energy always moving, persona not this lazy person
a shadow of what he want. Was he promised me

(38:23):
that he would change and asked me to go to
the doctor Because i'm completely obsessed with. It with all these,
TROUBLES i lost the additional ten, pounds which makes his
story even more. Credible SHOULD i go back to him
and trust that he's going to be back and go
to a doctor as he? Asked AM i completely delusional
and out of? LINE i hate being bath. MOUTHED i

(38:45):
don't have thick, skin and these comments really hurt. Me reddit,
help there are some comments. Here before you get into the,
COMMENTS i will say there is such a thing as
being too, fit too in, shape where it circles back to.
Unhealthy Like i've had friends who worked out until they
had to go to the, Hospital AND i don't know

(39:07):
if that's the level of fixation THAT op has right,
here like where you were already starting, at like five
ten one point fifty what like is? NORMAL i think.

Speaker 5 (39:16):
Some, people Like puppy, says they have a lot of.
Energy they like working.

Speaker 4 (39:18):
Out that's, okay but as long as you do it
in a healthy manner and you're not obsessed with.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
IT i think if you get much smaller than, that like,
now you're leaning towards not healthy, territory like six three one,
Eighty LIKE i can't imagine being three inches taller and
also twenty pounds. Lighter and, AGAIN i don't think it's
the fact that he's not wanting to lose weight or
he doesn't want to eat health. ANYMORE i think really
the root of it was like that he was just

(39:43):
lying and he's clearly not that. Lazy if he's six
three one, eighty, like there's a level of some kind
of upkeep going on.

Speaker 4 (39:52):
There back to it with the, relationship they instantly, well
op broke up with, Him like you broke up with,
him and now you feel bad that he's bad mouthing
you like the badmouthing is really, dumb but then you
want to get back together with. HIM i feel like
you guys jumped it way too. Quickly you should have
definitely had a conversation of why he's doing, this rather Than,
Nope i'm.

Speaker 5 (40:11):
Done why why did you do?

Speaker 1 (40:12):
That, yeah it was a pretty quick. Decision let's get
into the. Update they're not, update they're. Comments comment number one,
weight he's sixty three one hundred and eighty pounds and
you want him to lose. Weight, Reply i'm glad this
isn't buried at the. BOTTOM i would love to hear
his side BECAUSE op sounds unbalanced and seems to be
skewing details to paint her in a better. Light another,
reply she was one p fifty five at five to,

(40:35):
ten she was already considered normal weight for her. Height
she or possibly both of, them might have some skewed
body image. Issues Replies, Yes i'm five to ten and
in the upper one thirties and developed an eating disorder
WHEN i tried to lose. Weight not THAT bmi is
a reliable, indicator but if you plan on getting yourself
under that, threshold you probably need the help of a
nutritionist or other professional to keep you physically and mentally on,

(40:57):
track like they do with film stars losing weight for a.
Role then, again everyone's. Different obviously my experiences aren't, everyone's
and Maybe op fell to her lowest weight naturally without
pushing too, hard then realized she wanted to gain some
muscle at any. Rate op has painted a picture of a,
jealous controlling boyfriend who won't accept her. Breakup six three
point eighty is a number you can be proud, of

(41:18):
but being possessive or cleaning of your so. Isn't, yeah
that was kind of also my earlier takeaway of like
it might just be that he's like getting cringey about
other men thinking she's.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
Attractive she's very happy with everything and it's good For,
ope but you got taking the consideration of how does
this make your partner, feel you, know like maybe it
went too, Far like a little bit too.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
Much could be also To op's, boyfriend that's hot girlfriend. Syndrome,
dude when you have hot, girlfriend other people guess. What
other people can see her with their eyes and they
can tell that she's.

Speaker 4 (41:50):
Like again saying all those bad things and like oh, no,
NO i love you and using THE i love you or.

Speaker 5 (41:54):
It is, like oh it's love is not an. Excuse
that doesn't seem like it's.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Love so far whack on both sides from my, perspective
we made healthy. Lunches a man who's six y three and,
exercise he needs a f ton of. Food her healthy
lunches were probably some three hundred calorie piece of crap
lunch he pulled off Of. Pinterest she clearly has no
idea about. Fitness wanting your boyfriend to lose weight at
one hundred and eighty, pounds professional male athletes who are six'
three are basically always heavier than. ONE eighty i think

(42:20):
the long distance runners who are sixty three are even
one seventy to. One eighty, if anything if he's trying to,
be fit he's probably going to increase. His weight she
doesn't know the first thing about what she's, talking ABOUT
and i don't believe a word. She says we've arrived at.
The update we's. Hop end it Sounds like i've left
some important. DETAILS out i read all your comments and,
realized that but it was too late to reply as

(42:41):
there were, too MANY so i prefer to add some
explanations in. THIS update i thank you all for. YOUR
comments i wasn't expecting such a. Big response some of
your comments, were HURTFUL and i don't really GET what
i have said to. Deserve That but i'll try my
best to. Explain. MYSELF first i never said that we
weren't at a, healthy weight OR that i think he
is overweight or at a. BAD weight i don't know

(43:03):
why people assumed THAT when i never, said IT and
i don't really get all the weights that were thrown in.
The post every person carries their, weight differently and some
of you sounded offended As if i've said your weight.
IS bad i never said anything about. His weight he
was the one who was trying to get fit again
as he went from really fit to somewhat skinny Fat
as he was the one who was not happy, with this.

(43:24):
Not ME what i said is that we were not
as fit as we were in. The past we were
both gym rats and health. NUTS both i met him at.
THE gym i have never pressured him to. Exercise whatsoever
we fell in love because we had similar interests, outdoor,
activities exercised taking care of. Our bodies he was really
proud of. His abs, for example when, we met he

(43:45):
was six three one ninety and, pure muscle more than
what he. WEIGHS now i was five ten and one thirty. Five,
toned however we started to relax in the food that.
We ate we started to drink more and eat a
lot of, fast food even though we can continued. Exercising
daily we sort of Became skinnat HE and i developed a,
small belly and we were not happy, with, it again both.

(44:07):
Of us that's why we tried to enter the cut
phase and then we would go into the. Bulk phase
you THOUGHT that i wanted him to, Lose weight you.
WERE wrong i didn't pressure him to. Do this he
was always talking about how he missed his muscles and
how he was stronger in. The past so we decided
as a couple that we would be. Healthy together he
was happy with, our progress but seemed really surprised that

(44:29):
his weight. HAD stalled i was worried, about HIM as
i didn't understand why his efforts. WEREN'T working i was
sad because he seemed sad with the lack, of results
and THAT'S why i was so MAD when i discovered
that he had been eating fast food behind. My back
first because he was throwing, away Food which i'm. Completely
against SECOND because i was researching lots of things and

(44:50):
was WORRIED because i didn't understand why he wasn't. Seeing,
RESULTS third i didn't understand why he was lying. TO
me i never pressured him to get. IN shape i
love him, either WAY so i didn't understand why he
was lying. To me.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
Go ahead you.

Speaker 4 (45:04):
Weren't pressuring, your partner but then you, were like let's go,
on runs let's, do this let's, Do that and you
just kept, reiterating, like oh he wants you to like just
go to, the movies and you're, like, no, no, NO
no i want to go, DO this i want to,
GO exercise i want to. Do this he seemed like
a burden, to you and you made him feel like.
A burden i'm not saying that's, the scenario but what
we got earlier in the story Again when, opie, said
oh we don't have the same. Interest anymore maybe he

(45:26):
just felt. Burnt out it's. A thing it, is burnout
like you get burnt out of working out or you're
just fatigued from it and it's okay.

Speaker 5 (45:32):
To rest but maybe he was just happy where.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
HE was i was just mad about being skinny fat
because you SAID that i. Should be and maybe she
doesn't even realize she.

Speaker 4 (45:40):
Did that he was just really Upset that ope progressed
or they did the same amount, of Work but opie's
progress had results and her boyfriend didn't have, any results
and that it probably made him even. FEEL worse I
think ope's THINKING like, i never like explicitly like. Pressured
him IT'S like i was never like telling me needed
to do it. Or else but, IT'S like, i think
just you being so militant about getting, in shape like

(46:03):
is the pressure in and. Of itself i'm not trying
to pin this on anyone, just yet BUT like, i
said these are two different people on two different roads
where they like, we met we were, so happy and
then you converged into.

Speaker 5 (46:15):
Something different.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
It HAPPENS so i never pressured him into getting. IN
shape i love him, either WAY so i didn't understand
why he was lying. To me he could have just
said that he didn't want to eat Healthy and i'd
have been completely okay. With it and he KNOWS that
i never said a bad thing about, his BODY and
i find him white attractive when he is at one
hundred and eighty or one hundred and ninety. Or whatever

(46:37):
when he, STOPPED exercising i was SAD because i lost,
MY partner i mean. WORKOUT partner i assume do you
know that activity that you do with your husband since,
you've met and that's really special for both. Of you
that was exercise. To us since, we've met we've. Exercised
together we've tried lots of sports and fun. Outdoor activities
when he started to, REFUSE going i felt like he

(46:58):
didn't want to spend more time, with ME and i
was sad about IT because i felt like we were
losing a big part of. Our relationship i'm not a
person who likes to relax on, the sofa and he
wasn't like. That, either again one of the things that
made us fall in love with each other was the
fact that he was really active and had lots. Of
energy he KNOWS that i HATE, watching tv, for example

(47:19):
and he was like. That too so the change was
strange and left. Me CONFUSED then i lost weight until
one twenty five because of, the breakup Not because, i'm
anorexic for, F's sake i'm now in a. BULKING phase
i just had trouble EATING because i was really sad
about breaking up with him and. Our separation we've been
dating for a, long time four years, almost FIVE and

(47:41):
i feel lost. Without him i've been crying a LOT
and i used exercise to make me think of. Other
things oh, my god five years? Over that why did you?
Do that there's got to be more. Than that right?
FIVE years i was, thinking, like oh they've probably dated
less than. A year five years you've been with this
guy and you broke up with him because he was
eating cheap meals. BEHIND you i know that throwing the

(48:02):
food away. IS cringe i know him lying to you is.
Not good he was cheating, On, her yeah he was
cheat mealing. ON her i.

Speaker 4 (48:09):
Guarantee you he just felt like, a burden like your.
LIFESTYLE was i want to go back to the way,
we were and, He's like i'm happy with what we. Are,
now yes we wanted to work out and get. Healthy
AGAIN but I think opi went back into the that
old mindset of like full. ON grind i want let
what we, were before and you can't. Have that it
seems like his mentality, is, Like no i'm in, the

(48:32):
present and, Seems like ohpi's mine is more so in
the past.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
FOR sure a crazy thing to break, up over like on,
the spot not, Even, elaborations okay let's. Keep GOING when
i NOTICED that i, WAS underweight i immediately forced myself.
TO eat i don't want to. BE skinny i want to.
Be FIT so i thank you for all, the CONCERNS
but i guarantee You that i'm, not INTERAREXIC that i
don't want to be one hundred and. Twenty five my
goal weight is one, thirty five JUST like i was

(48:57):
in the past at the peak of my fitness. And
health and at one, Thirty five i'm not underweight as
some of. You said it's a healthy weight. For me
i'm all. FOR health i wouldn't aim for anything that would.
Be unhealthy That's why i'm gaining weight. Right now i'm
very careful with. My, health finally about telling people in, the,
city well he decided to talk about our breakup with
his friends and they were the ones who started. Telling

(49:19):
everyone as this is a small town and his friends didn't,
like me they decided to SAY that i was looking
for a health guru and a man, with abs And
that i'm a shallow witch. To everyone as they are
Locals and. I'm not everyone. Believes them it was not
him that told. The PEOPLE when i made the, FIRST
post i thought it was him that was talking about
our breakup, with everyone but he told me that he didn't,

(49:40):
do that and the ones who did were, his friends
and he's angry with them because. OF it i. Was,
WRONG fortunately i have, no family and the FEW friends
i have here are his close, friends too so they stood.
By him can't. Fault them they know him better than they.
Know me i'm kind of shy. And quiet so, we
talked and he told me that he was concerned, about
me and one wanted me to see a doctor because

(50:01):
of my recent. WEIGHT loss i EXPLAINED that i was
trying to, gain WEIGHT that i didn't want to be one,
twenty FIVE and i just lost weight because we were
on bad terms and it hurt me. That much he
then explained to me that he wasn't the one who
told other people about, the breakup that it was the
friends and he was disappointed. With them he also said
that he wanted to get in shape but couldn't resist.

(50:23):
Fast food he'd been eating it daily at lunch and
was ashamed of not being able to resist. THE temptations
i told him that he didn't need to eat healthy
if he didn't, Want to i'd be totally okay, with
IT and i just wished that he could communicate with
me and tell me about. HIS fears i APOLOGIZED if
i ever came across as a shallow person or someone
who wouldn't listen. TO it i loved him a lot

(50:44):
and didn't want to lose him over such a minor
and unimportant thing is. Fast food he then confessed that
he decided not to, exercise more even though it was
hard for him as he. Loved it he decided to
stop because he was ashamed of not being able to this,
fast food and he wanted me to be lazy, like
him so we would be equals, that way which is

(51:05):
also an extremely toxic way. To think he said that
now we would continue to exercise as we've, always done
and he wouldn't try to hide eating, fast food nor
would he throw the. FOOD away i ended up breaking
up with him, that night and now we are. Together
again communicating was very good, for US and i hope
that in the future we will remember this lesson and

(51:27):
learn to continue to communicate and be honest with. Each,
other yeah.

Speaker 4 (51:30):
It's crazy he was feeling away and, felt ashamed and
you were feeling away and definitely on him, For SURE
but i think it was again a little bit.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
Of, pressure yeah you. Little goobers just need to learn
how to. HAVE dialogue i love him. A lot i
can't imagine a. Better person he, is, kind, compassionate, nice
smart and we share the. Same interests we. Are compatible
he is my, dream MAN everything i could. Wish For
and i'm SORRY if i misrepresented him in the. FIRST
post i HOPE that i could explain. Everything again thank you.

(52:02):
Read it everything is fine right now and, we're happy
and there's. An edit i'm. FEELING shifty i just felt
so weird to me that it's like he's my, dream
man is my. True love like, We're compatible we're fully,
Of this we're, Fully that and it's like you would
literally just before have, been like we're. Completely incompatible we've lost.
Our ways he's a completely. Different person and, For that
i'm out very.

Speaker 4 (52:22):
Wishy WASHY but i think it was just like a
lot of underlying layers that no one.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
Talked about you, KNOW what i bet you. IT was
i bet you was because she thought he was. Talking
smack she thought he was the one going around running
around talking smack on. Their relationship if that, WAS me
i would also, be, like yeah you, know what we
are uncompatible and nothing about this guy even lines up,
with me and you, know what this guy freaking and

(52:48):
he can be, lazy FOREVER like i would probably be
UPSET if, i thought but now we know. The truth
he's just got lame friends. For you but in the context,
of him those friends are, good friends but they're not
going about it the. Right way and there is. An.
Edit okay he never, controlled me, my CLOTHES where i,
was going or THE people i. Talked to he is
not the. Jealous type he has never done. Anything physical

(53:10):
he's never forced me to do the spicy TANGO when
i wasn't in. The mood he never did anything. Like
that this was the first time he lied, to me
and he promised he wouldn't. Do. It twice he tried
not to fall in love, with me but was unable
to resist because he loved me. Too much why is?
That bad why is The sentence he could have any

(53:31):
girl that he wanted and he chose me bad? For
YOU am i? Not enough WHAT have i done to
make you so angry? WITH me I know i'm immature.
AND dumb, i know but several people are and they
are not as CRITICIZED as. I was i think this
is ope addressing commenters, being like, you know what? Shut
UP when i wrote the, first post everyone accused me
of having an, eating disorder, being shallow masking, the situation

(53:54):
lying about, what happened and. Manipulating him now he's the
one who is accused it of manipulating me and being. A,
diddler yes someone said that about him in a, private
message of taking advantage. Of me why does EVERY post
i make generate such a? Hate wave, i'm. Tired boss
the comments page was even harder to read than the,
first one and it's really hurtful that everyone is saying

(54:16):
such bad things about. MY relationship i thank you all
for your advice and. Kind words some of you were,
really KIND and i can't thank, you ENOUGH but i
wanted to let you know that some of your words,
really hurt Really and i'm weak and this was. Too
much i've been reading this with my boyfriend and he is.
SO hurt i can only cry. For him he didn't. Deserve, this,
guys hello take, your computer. Close it you don't have

(54:40):
to read every comment On the. Reddit post if it's making,
you upset you don't have to do. This anymore just
like how if you stop watching, this show you can
always listen to full episodes with stories, like this and
you can listen to Them, On spotify apple podcast or
wherever you get your. Podcasts from Just search. Okay storytime
all you have to do Is search. Okay storytime but

(55:01):
we do have some story, Left, here keon do we
have anything else talk? ABOUT here i just really.

Speaker 5 (55:08):
Don't understand how you date for.

Speaker 4 (55:10):
Five years you're so in love and this is like
the man of, your dreams and then you catch him
eating a cookie and he lied to you, about it
and this is like the only time he's lied, to
you and you really just jump it to. WE'RE done
i don't understand how that without having even like a.
Remote conversation maybe it was just the heat of the
moment kind, of thing but even then, it's, like whoa

(55:32):
that was. Really QUICK but i, THINK overall i mean
great that you guys, are happy and you guys are
going to work out and, you know live the lives
that you want. TO live i just Hope that opie
doesn't have that MINDSET of i want to just be my.
Past self that's not who. You are you are your,
presence self and then you can do that for. The
future you can at least have some ideals from the
past and work on, the future especially with. Your partner

(55:54):
you want to do it together and not leave.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Each other well spoken, my friend so he knew who
about the backlash that both of us would or, will
suffer and we've been suffering from it. Ever since but
this situation was the worst of. Them all he feels
disappointed with his friends for telling everybody about something he
ranted about in secret. With them feels tired because of,
the breakup and sad because of. THE comments i won't

(56:19):
ever apologize to him enough for what he read. About
him he didn't. Deserve it that's the. FINAL explanation i
don't think there's anything more. To add and there are
some comments comment one and he wanted me to be
lazy as him because we would be equals. That way,
In honesty now that you're back, WITH him i would
be very cautious. About this this is not the mentality

(56:41):
of someone who cares. About you that's the mentality of
someone who wants you down in the mud. With them
it's really the exact same mentality as. Op though this isn't.
About way it's about the fact that, people change and
he's changing in a way that you don't want to
five years at your age is a, long time but
please make sure to keep your sights on the things.
In life, comment two quoting he, is, kind compassionate, Night

(57:03):
smart we share the same interest and. We're compatible he's my,
dream MAN everything i could. Wish For and i'm SORRY
if i misrepresented him in my. First post this kind
of sounds like he replaced you and posted this. For you,
but okay please try and get your own friend group in.
This city do not be dependent on, this guy especially
as you apparently started dating him when you were sixteen

(57:24):
and he was. Twenty two well that changes only the. Entire, Story,
okay well? Almost done, Comment three so what is his
plan for his friends that have been dragging your name through?
The dirt he's disappointed, in them but he is he
actually going to take? Any action, if not that is
a pretty terrible new start to. The relationship you say everything's,

(57:46):
fine now but it doesn't really sound. Like it all
his friends dislike you and have been talking crap, about
you and you don't have any of your. Own friends
it still seems like a pretty. Bad situation what happens?
Next time if you guys go through a? Rough patch?
More crap talking and you losing all your friends again
doesn't leave you in the, Best position, opie replies he's
so sad. About it they. DISAPPOINTED him i don't think

(58:07):
it's fair to make him think about it when he
already blames himself for talking to them. So much they'll
think about it when he. WAKES up i think alment
was down voted thirty. FIVE times I think reddit really
let you have it on, that one op because that's
the end of.

Speaker 4 (58:22):
That STORY like i, said earlier they diverged as long
as they can be mutual on everything and. Can agree
not that my personality is just sitting on the couch
and just.

Speaker 5 (58:31):
Hanging out my personality is just.

Speaker 4 (58:33):
Working out as long as you guys can have a
median of, you know doing both of those things together
and not, you know leaving one behind or dragging. One
back is somewhere you can, manage it especially for five
years of, you know. Being together THAT'S what. I, think.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Hey, it's sam we'll get back to. The stories but
here's three minutes of ads from. OUR sponsors i call that.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
My boyfriend's sister in. Law's flirting the whole family?

Speaker 1 (59:00):
Isn't chaos oh all over some harmless flirting between.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
In laws my thirty female boyfriend twenty nine male has
an odd relationship with soon to be sister. In law
it's causing. Major issues how do we? Solve this my
BOYFRIEND and i have been together almost one and a.
Half years this is the Best relationship i've ever. Been
in he's a great person and we have no issues
except for his. Brother's FIANCE when i first, MET her

(59:28):
i really wanted for us to be, great friends but
that hasn't been. The, case so by, the way this
Comes From harry carry and if you want to smit your,
own stories go to our slash. Showcase storytime subret it
so literally the FIRST time i, met her she was wearing,
a romper came out of, the, bathroom specifically went to
my boyfriend to zip, her up but, To, NECK. HEY
whoa i thought it, was odd but we, just MET

(59:50):
so i didn't trip. On IT before i had. Met
her he described her as his relationship advisor and that
he told her about me and how excited he was about.
Our relationship but Each time i've seen her almost weekly
in the one and, half years she's made.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
Me uncomfortable it's a long time for someone to make.
You uncomfortable consistently.

Speaker 3 (01:00:09):
She'll pull him away to talk one. On one she touches,
him regularly has little, inside JOKES so i just sit
there like, an idiot makes silly voices, to him makes
weird double entendre jokes. To him sometimes she'll be super nice,
to me and sometimes she just straight up. IGNORES me
i never know Which version, i'll GET so i always act,
super friendly but. It's exhausting one of the LAST times i,

(01:00:30):
saw her she was, bringing friendly but did take the opportunity,
to say, you know before you and your boyfriend, started
dating we talked every day about all kinds. Of things
we were, best friends so now we don't talk as.
Much anymore in, the beginning he seemed oblivious to how
inappropriate she acts. TOWARDS him i pointed out several times

(01:00:51):
and got to the POINT where i, told him if
he doesn't shut down her, Weird touching i'm either walking
away or Leaving because. I'm uncomfortable issues with her have
literally been our only relationship drama the. Entire time we
have never thought about anything, else since making. HIM aware
a lot of times when she starts touching him randomly
or trying to pull. Him away, he'll resist go, somewhere

(01:01:12):
else whatever the case, may be but we seem to
have an argument after each time we see. Each, other
yesterday she and the brother received an invite from a
mutual friend to see some. Live music she was, mostly,
fine friendly, et cetera but she chose the seat, beside
HIM so i had to sit a couple friends away
from him and was wiping, his face touching his face
where he missed, his spot shaving weird stuff. Like that

(01:01:33):
at ONE point i just walked away and chatted with
mutual friends after. WE left i expressed to my BOYFRIEND
that I feel i can't talk to him about my
concerns with her because he gets so frustrated and says
she's always been. That way they've known each other for,
five years she'll be his sister. Soon whatever he's doing
his best to keep her, in check but she does
seem to come out of nowhere with her touching and
her snide comments to me that maybe only another woman

(01:01:56):
could understand the Rudeness behind it turned into a loud
fight the likes of which we've. Never had he's super.
Apologetic today he made a hurtful comment in the heat of,
the Moment and I'M sure i did to at a
pure frustration with. This SITUATION though i don't. Like her
knowing that we'll both hopefully be part of the, FAMILY
soon i know we need to sort out. These issues
how do we go about? Doing this i've thought about

(01:02:18):
going out for drinks with her and explaining my situation
so she can't play dumb to how she makes. Me
uncomfortable he thinks he should talk to, her solo but
that FEELS like i can't handle my own issues and
would create more weirdness between the two. OF us i
absolutely love and want to marry him and really want
this to resolve so our relationship continue. To. Flourish edit
my last relationship before this one, was awful, cheated on

(01:02:41):
verbal and. Physically mistreated i'm incredibly grateful to have the
GOOD man i. Have now it took me a lot
of work to GET where i, am emotionally to be able,
to trust control my anger, and. Arguments etc just because
of the last one that was so awful and change.
MY personality i don't want to see bits of the old,
me ANYMORE but i see little bits when we argue,
about HER and i hate that but there is. AN update,

(01:03:02):
i mean it's good that, you're aware but your partner
is being disrespectful and he needs to shut it down
a little.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
BIT more i want to know where the Talk between
ope's partner and her partner's.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
Brother, is YEAH if i were, The brother i'd, be
going that's.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
Kinda weird your future wife is like touching on me.
And stuff she's trying to do a weird touch. WITH
me i. Don't know it's going on.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
Weird touch things she does. With you she still have, Me, too.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
Yeah you know that part how she does when she,
touches you because you're. Her partner she's touching me. Like.

Speaker 3 (01:03:34):
That, brother yeah have. A conversation i think having a
conversation with the girl probably. HOPEFULLY helpful i.

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
DON'T know i really don't think that that's gonna, get
anywhere because if it sounds like she'll, just deny she'll just,
BE like i don't.

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
Know what you're. Talking about that's so weird that you're.
SO insecure i. Don't understand let's find out what this
update has. In store this is my update from my
Last post. FRIDAY evening i to a female. Family gathering
future sister in law. Was there she avoided me the.
ENTIRE time i want nothing more than to get past
this and, move on but was sort of following her

(01:04:09):
lead and left. Her alone she texted asking if we.
COULD talk i. Said sure, she said my boyfriend told.
HIS brother i wrote. The text he never. Said that
she clearly didn't believe me and kept trying to find
ways to. PROVE that i wrote IT that i said
no more family gatherings and we don't want to go
to their WEDDINGS because i, hate her that all hate
any future child. They have because it came out. OF
her i was absolutely SHOCKED because i never said any,

(01:04:31):
of THIS and i know my boyfriend never said any
of these. Things either so his brother is making up
these cruel lies for some. Unknown reason it's either her or.
The brother if, it's her it's because she's jealous AND
she's i, don't know trying to like ruin, this relationship
or it's the brother and he WANTS to i don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
See exactly that's why, IT'S like i can't find a
single reason why he would.

Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
Do that she said how awful her, family is and
all she wanted was to make me, feel included And
now i've stapped her on. The back she demanded. AN
apology i refused and told her do have a, good night.
And left that's how you. Do it if you're talking,
to crazy you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
Just, leave yeah you can't argue. With crazy you just
got to say uh, huh okay bye bye now.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
Bye, bye sunday we go to the parents' house. For
dinner all of us. Were there things were. Fairly standoffish at,
ONE point i was inside with future sister in law
and the dad making light. Small talk their mom grabs
me and future sister in law to speak in a.
Back room she's a few, drinks in gets all teary
eyed that her boys, are intourmoil Basically saying i'm the
root of all, the ISSUES so i need to get

(01:05:34):
over it because she's not having her family to wind to.
Pull it my boyfriend loves both of, us equally HA
and i need to deal with that because they've known
each other, five years far longer than we've been together
one and a. Half, years wait the girl is Saying
that opie's boyfriend loves both of. THEM equally i.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
Think that Was what opie's. Mom said ohpie's boyfriend's mom is,
being like. It's fine he loves you and his brother's
fiance the, same amount.

Speaker 3 (01:06:00):
But she's the.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
Normal thing we should say it's normal and.

Speaker 3 (01:06:04):
Not weird that touching, is normal that is not a.

Speaker 1 (01:06:08):
Weird touch you take that back.

Speaker 3 (01:06:11):
RIGHT now i can't come in and try to dissolve
all female relationships in. His life she left and Future
SISTER alana i were, talking CALMLY and i was expressing
clearly that there was miscommunication between the boys that seemed
to be ramping. This up. She agreed, SHE'S.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
Like i don't know, what's happening but things are getting a.

Speaker 3 (01:06:29):
Lot weirder then we hear screaming from the, living room,
glass breaking so we go out there and that's when
all the real. Drama starts the brother kept pointing at
me with a legit unaliving look in, his eyes calling
me a manipulative bee and a, psychotic bully all kinds.
Of things it was a, screaming match everyone telling each
other to, f off and his, mom's, like well you
started all of this and now you have nothing to say.

(01:06:51):
Defend herself his, brother's like she's playing. A game she
manipulated my brother away from, the family so she's sitting
there all pleased, with herself the effing dumb. B, yikes.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
HEY brother i just want to let you know when
you berate and curse at a woman as, a man
he loves a lot of credibility. Right there doesn't.

Speaker 3 (01:07:10):
Look good, for. You buddy the mom was trying and
failing to moderate this because the brother. Kept screaming he
was telling her to go, ever self saying any awful
thing he could think of. About me he came incredibly
close to. MY face i don't know if he wanted
to hit me or. Intimidate me my boyfriend pushed him
away and yelled. At him the brother kept making these
moves like he was going to run. At me the
future sister law kept holding him back or telling him

(01:07:31):
to take.

Speaker 1 (01:07:31):
A walk he. Was furious i'm starting to understand now
why his fiance is Flirting with, op's man because she's
probably looking at, him like, Oh, YEAH no i did
pick the. WRONG brother i picked the beta who tries
to like pump fake like. A woman he's Arguing with mom.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
KEPT saying i need to grow up and deal with.
My insecurities kept saying that over. And over at ONE
point i asked her to stop calling, me insecure and
she said it was the FIRST time i, defended myself
and now she respects me a little bit MORE because
i stood up.

Speaker 1 (01:08:01):
For myself wasn't this whole thing her defending herself that's?

Speaker 3 (01:08:05):
So, Funny oh, he's, like hey stop and the, mom's,
LIKE oh.

Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
I didn't know you had game, LIKE. That opi but
on a, real LEVEL am i wrong or isn't all
of this coming from her trying to? Defend herself it.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
Absolutely is she, was, LIKE hey i don't like, this
attitude and now the mom's like that wasn't. Good enough
this went on for, two hours AND because i don't
deal with issues by screaming and, NAME callings i. Was
frozen my boyfriend was saying a lot to try and
defend me that they were his concerns and didn't come
out of, thin air which riled everyone. Up more it
was absolute chaotic Madness that i've never been a part.
Of before at, the end their mom tried to laugh

(01:08:37):
off the. Entire thing, she's, like wow that was. A,
lot wow we really get up to crazy Things on.
Monday night this's.

Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
Gonna be such a. Funny story at my book Club,
THIS thursday i swear girls are gonna. Love this they're
just gonna. Thank you guys are the. Biggest characters they're.

Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
Gonna go on bananas at. The end their mom tried
to laugh with the. ENTIRE thing i was in total
Shock because i've tried so hard to be kind and
respectful to the fam and always had a, great relationship
especially with. Their MOM so i was. Taken aback my
boyfriend spoke to his mom the next day canceled all
future plans with, the FAM saying i, was attacked it was.
Uncalled for he was furious his brother has legit issues

(01:09:15):
and the mom makes excuses after excuse for his absolutely.
Terrifying behavior but you guys don't have any excuse for
not listening to full episodes with stories just. Like this
just Go, To Spotify, apple podcasts or your favorite podcast
app in.

Speaker 1 (01:09:29):
Search, up okay, stort time do THAT and i see
you there not. Doing it, come on.

Speaker 3 (01:09:33):
Be better but there is, a little a teensy little. Bit,
Left YEAH and, i.

Speaker 1 (01:09:37):
MEAN like i think the path that we've ended up
on is the. Right ONE and i really hope that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
The sister in law leaves or the future maybe no
longer to be sister.

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
In law it sounds like that the sister in laws and,
the BROTHERS.

Speaker 3 (01:09:48):
But i think the sister in law is realizing that
her brother in law sucks, a lot and so SHE'S,
Like whoa.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
She's trying to get herself out. OF it i think
no future family events sounds like a.

Speaker 3 (01:09:58):
Great PLAN good, I yah but there is a little
bit more to. THIS story i seriously don't feel comfortable
even being near his. Brother again he sounds so close
to really, losing It and i'm actually concerned for my
safety at. THIS point i thank GOD my bf has
the complete, opposite PERSONALITY but i have no clue how
to move forward. From this as MUCH as i never
wanted to see the, BROTHER again i know that's. Not

(01:10:20):
possible i'd be willing to speak to him if he
could act more normal, and CALM but i don't even
know if he's capable of that help and comment one
says sounds like brother is projecting. Here absolutely maybe he
too thought she was highly inappropriate with, your boyfriend and
now it's been brought, to light he has to face
his feelings and is taking it out on the. Wrong,
people also boyfriend's mom sounds like an e. Fing idiot

(01:10:40):
doesn't matter if she's known him for. Thirty years she was.
Incredibly inappropriate end. Of discussion you're. His partner doesn't make
you insecure because you have boundaries and don't think it's
appropriate for someone to act like your. Partner's girlfriend the
only way forward is for him to go complete no
contact with.

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
His family that's, not true but it's certainly one of
the simplest ways to. MOVE forward i think there's a
path to get back to. SOMETHING there i think it
was dead on where it's like now the, brothers realized
like it's been, called out and, he's, like yeah my
fiance is flirting with my brother and that's way too

(01:11:17):
hard for me to. Come apprehend So instead i'm just
gonna get mad at. The, woman oh, he says.

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
Thank you THAT'S how i. Feel too there are sibling
relationships and romantic and the lines should. Not blur the
fact that everyone is blind to it and making me
Feel like i'm crazy. Is unsettling. Unfortunate timing today is my.
B day his mom dropped off a card in a present.
For me no interest in the present almost feels like
an attempt to buy, me off so. To speak absolutely
it's an, apology present and don't.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
Take it hopefully they had your birthday present picked. Out already, they're,
like ooh not only did we get into, This fight
oh we don't have a.

Speaker 3 (01:11:50):
Birthday PRESENT now i have to get. A RIGIMVED but
i opened the card out. Of curiosity we hope to
have better memories with you in. The future this is
after spending nearly ever weekend and holiday at, their home
missing out on time with my, own family doing my
best to forge the best RELATIONSHIP possible i can with.
His parents what a punt in. The nuts and that
is the end of. That story boy, OH boy, i,

(01:12:13):
mean like definitely you should get away from. These family
you don't have to ever see. Them again, LOW contact,
i think or no, contact maybe but that's on your partner.

Speaker 1 (01:12:20):
TO decide i think the biggest thing needs to BE
which i don't think it'll, Happen NOW but i was
wondering why the brother on brother conversation was, not happening
and it feels like they probably have a very contentious
history or. Relationship there if.

Speaker 3 (01:12:34):
This was how, we reacted there's got to be something,
Before this like this can't just have been the first thing.

Speaker 1 (01:12:39):
It's, very unlikely but you know what, is likely that
this is the end of.

Speaker 3 (01:12:43):
The story

All Episodes

My best friend is FURIOUS that I got pregnant during her “wedding year”… she says I’m stealing her shine! - r/AITAH | Reddit Stories

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Are You A Charlotte?

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My best friend is FURIOUS that I got pregnant during her “wedding year”… she says I’m stealing her shine! - r/AITAH | Reddit Stories