My best friend SECRETLY planned her wedding… the day before mine! - r/WeddingDrama | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
My best friend secretly planned her wedding the day before mine.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Ah, there's so many other days that you could choose
from girl.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
You could have done that, and we could have not
praying to you. But it's April freaking fools.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
April flippity flipp and fools.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
So there you freaking go. So I'm getting married in
a few weeks. And about a month ago, one of
my best friends, who I've known since college and I've
kept in regular contact with, dropped the that she was
getting married. I didn't even know she was seeing anyone.
By the way, this comes from Tiny birds Nest, and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
Arsasha Okay Storytime. So she then drops lot that she's
marrying a guy in our friend group and that her

(00:44):
wedding is going to have to be the day before
mine because her father in law can't get time off
from work on any other time that month, and essentially
gave a few other half bootied reasons about why other
weekends were impossible. One weekend would be a few days
before her period started, so she'll be bloated, okay o.
The other she's on her period. The other is Valentine's

(01:07):
weekend and ugh, that's cringey. And then the other one
is too close to Ramadan so she can't go on
her honeymoon straight away. Some backstory about the person she
is marrying. She is someone that we always thought she
had a thing with, but she would always deny it
and say that she saw him like a brother. We
used to argue a bit over her prioritizing him over
me back in college, especially because this guy and I

(01:27):
didn't really get along that much.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
Her and I were so close.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Example, me and her had brunch plans once and she
spent the entire time texting him. After graduation, though, I
felt like we all matured and put differences behind us,
to the point where her husband to be was actually
invited to my wedding as my friend, and my knucklehead
reaction to her telling me she was engaged was crying
tears of joy for her. I truly was happy for her,

(01:52):
but when I went home to think about it, felt
really itchy. All year since I've been wedding planning, she's
been asking me really specific questions about my planning process.
She complained to me that as my best friend, she
didn't feel involved enough in my planning process and said
that she wanted to come dress shopping with me, which
I invited her to because of her expressing this. But

(02:12):
then for her to turn around and tell me that
she's been dating this guy on and off for a
year while also keeping it secret, making her feeling left
out of my stuff comes across as hypocritical. And then
there's a question of why rush since she's known him
a decade, and why specifically my wedding weekend When I
sent out my Save the dates back in March, so

(02:32):
she's had a lot of time to plan and leave
some time in between ours. It's not about me having
all the attention on me. It's just how can she
expect me to be fully present at her wedding the
day before her own, and how selfish she must be
to expect me to fit her into an already stressful weekend.
When I told her this, she doubled down on the
weekend that she chose being the only one available, that

(02:54):
she specifically chose that one because she knew I'd be
available since I'd booked a few days off of work
before the wedding, and that she needed me at her wedding.
She said that I would embarrass her around her future
in laws since she made such a point of needing
to pick a date that I could attend, even though
I had no clue she was even seeing this guy,
nor did she check in if the day was a

(03:16):
good fit for me before picking it. I then also
expressed how upset I was that she kept the relationship
hidden from me, to which she said she thought I'd
cut her off because of my history not getting along
with this guy.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
Again.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
We all moved past that stuff years ago and are
a far cry from the kids we were when we
all met back in freshman year. When I told her
I didn't think I could make her wedding, she was
so upset she cried and said she never thought I'd
do that to her and skip her wedding. She's been
telling other friends in the friend group that I'm coming
to the wedding when they've asked if the date was

(03:48):
doable for me. We haven't spoken sense up. My conversation
about how upset with her I was a month ago.
I'm not trying to be a bridezilla, and I know
people are entitled to be private. My issue is that
she should have extended that privacy with me and not
ask so many questions about my life, knowing she was
being so tight lipped with hers. This is where I
now need advice. I feel so bitter and like the

(04:10):
whole friendship was a lie. I can't make it to
her wedding, and honestly having her mind feels disingenuous. She
has been telling friends she is still coming to mind.
Is it rude for me to not go to her wedding?
Should I go to her wedding? Since this is a
decade long friendship, part of me wants to disinvite her
and her husband to be from my wedding because of
the lies.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
Is that rude?

Speaker 2 (04:29):
And is there a polite way to disinvise someone from
your wedding without coming across like the villain so many questions.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
I'd think if their wedding is the day before yours,
they're probably not going to your wedding either.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
I mean, allegedly we haven't gotten like a explicit. It
seems like she's implying that she would make it to
her wedding too.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
I think a liar. That is such a lie. Yeah,
but we have an update.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
A few people in the original post were asking about
rehearsal dinners and all that stuff. I'm Middle Eastern and
we don't really do that in our culture. Some people
also said I needed to get over myself and that
I don't own the whole weekend, which is true.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
My issue was the lying, and also the expectation for
me to drive a total of five hours two and
a half hours each way there and back the day
before my wedding, and to attend another when I had
so many things to finalize.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
I also just.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Needed tovent being lied to and having something that felt
so calculated happened and what I thought was one of
my closest friendships is strange. Oh and I don't think
it was a pipew wedding, which a lot of people
were suggesting. Anyways, had my wedding, it was perfect and
I wouldn't change a thing. I didn't go to her
wedding because I genuinely didn't have the time. I did
see some videos posted of her wedding. She didn't copy mine,

(05:42):
which a lot of people were worried about, considering she'd
been asking me for all of the prep, so I'll
give her flowers. Though her wedding was gorgeous, uh, definitely
not a two month planned wedding like she was making
it out to me. In the end, she ended up
coming to my wedding about three hours late. I was
too busy being in our newly married bubble to notice
her or anything, but I did get feedback from people

(06:02):
who were sat at her table. Like people said she
would in my original post, she spent the whole time
talking about her wedding.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
In our culture, the bride receives a heavy piece of
gold jewelry at her wedding. She made a show of
her having her new husband take a piece of the
jewelry out of her bag and putting it on her
at the table just after my husband and I feel
so nice, saying that did our outfit change.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
She was also showing off other.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
Pieces of jewelry that she received, making a point to
emphasize that she received real soophiles and real domo.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
That's so cool that you have human suffering generals.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Nice congratulations, grats her and her husband also spent the
whole time texting each other, which means they were probably
saying not very nice things that they didn't want our
mutual friends overhearing, and she frequently would turn to him
and say, don't worry, we're leaving soon. They were also
packing on the PDA with neck kisses. She also then
cried to my mom and brother about how she doesn't
understand why I've not been taught talking to her and

(07:01):
how I've been so cold to her.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
This wasn't true. I had only told her how much
her actions and lives had hurt me, and to be honest,
she was the one who didn't respond to my last message.
My mom, being the classic mom she is, brought her
to me and tried to make us hug it out.
We have a very awkward exchange caught on care.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
I really wish we could get that.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
I want to see angry tp hug.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
My mom did tell my friend that she shouldn't have
lied to me for a whole year, though, so it's
nice to know that she had my back, even if
she pulled the typical mom move of just trying to
make everyone happy. Now our mutual friends are all on
my side, No one really thinks she's hit the right.
Thank God most of them didn't go to her wedding.
With the invites being so last minute and her wedding
being on a weekday, a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Could take the cim off and get childcare. Of course, no.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
One else knew about the wedding, which is crazy nobody.
I do believe that her truth is that she doesn't
think she's done anything wrong, and she really does think
that she considered me, an my situation in her wedding place.
She's kind of like not assuming what we are, Like,
she's not in the wrong.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Well, I think in a way, it's like, yeah, she
did consider you in her wedding plan, and she just
considered that she should be inconsiderate about it. Like, yeah,
she considered I'm I'm not going to care that her
wedding is tomorrow. It's too fishy. There's there's too many things.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
You didn't care, There's too many things.

Speaker 4 (08:23):
She just wants to party. Dude's like, you know, double
the double the fun, double the party, double the love.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yeah, double it. She's like, I'm just trying to double
it and give it to the next purse. Yeah, she's
gonna get it.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
She's gonna have another secret marriage in like a month.

Speaker 4 (08:35):
Just inspiring you.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
Op, he's got a twin. He's got a secret twin
nobody knows about. Oh, no, no, please.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Unfortunately, I think it's one of those friendships where we
no longer really line and I have taken a step
back and distanced myself from her. I do you appreciate
that she came to my wedding? However, I think she
did it to make a point more than out of
the goodness of her heart and respect for our friendship
considering what she pulled.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
No, she showed up to your wedding to upstate. You like,
I appreciate that she came to my wedding. You shouldn't
she came to make it about her. Yeah, you don't
have to do that.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
You don't have to do that, honestly, edited to adds
the more information that people were asking, and apparently it's
already in there.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
It was already in there. They had edited it. Wow earlier.
That's crazy. Yeah. I don't know if OP is like
a sweety pie or if they're just like completely delusional
about this. Yeah, it's like not a whole lot to
be appreciative about. Her presence at your wedding.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
I feel like she can she can be more almost
being like a hole to herself, like yeah, you deserve
to be I mean, you know, and she's like it
seems like she's politely distancing herself, which fair enough, fair enough?

Speaker 5 (09:37):
Yeah, wow, like a weekday wedding one that's just like
crazy to me, Like surprise wedding, weekday, wedding day before
ope's wedding. Nobody goes like not everyone goes, yeah, what
do you expect, like two plus two equals four.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Nor her two plus two equals fish.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
Yeah that's what this lady. Oh yeah, dude, Yeah, Aaron's
tell you how to make that work. My friend asked
me need to pick up his relatives across the country
on his wedding day. Well that's too far. And on
my wedding. My male thirty one friend, let's call him John,
male thirty five, is engaged to Alma, female thirty and

(10:16):
we'll have their wedding in May of twenty twenty five.
By the way, this comes from user am I the
a whole friendly throw and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.
John and I have been good friends for five years,
but we are a part of a larger friend group
that often travels, goes camping, spends weekends together, plays board games,
and just generally hangs out. We used to be a

(10:38):
tight knit group, or at least we were before John
met Alma two years ago. In this friend group, there's
also my girlfriend female twenty eight, and a couple Joseph
male thirty six and Anita female thirty four, who aren't
married but have been together for fourteen years. They come
from another city where they also met John and got
him into the friend group. Around ten years ago. John

(11:00):
and I became friends through a weird situation where he
was thrown out of his flat by an ex friend
who's female, but unrelated to this issue. We ended up
moving in together and became really good pals. John may
not be the best looking, chubby guy, but his charisma
and joking skills are very high. He has always tried
to flirt with waitresses or cashiers in hopes of landing

(11:21):
a serious, long term relationship. His experience has mostly been
with younger girls, and his relationships have always lasted only
a few months or less than a year. Then he
met Alma and fell head over heels. They seemed compatible,
and at least he was beaming with joy. However, we
soon found out at a party when Alma went to
bed that John, in a wasted state, confessed that Alma

(11:44):
didn't like Anita because of the friendly relationship Anita and
John had. This seemed unreasonable, since we all know their
relationship is purely platonic and we're all loyal to our
other halves. After this, we started meeting John and Alma
less frequently, only for big cell like Christmas, in our
annual camping and boating trips, just events that are integral

(12:04):
to our friendship. For any other event John was invited to,
we always got a decline, too tired, too busy, we
need to do something for Alma's family, or again, just
too tired. He never calls or texts either. At this point,
it's gotten so bad that we stopped inviting him, and
we feel bad about it. However, he only reaches out
when he needs something like a favor of some sort,

(12:25):
or to get stuff from our jobs for free, or
just to drop something off. Currently, John and Alma live
in a flat in the same building as Joseph and Anita,
and even then they are too tired to take the elevator.
We do miss our friend and would help him when necessary,
but at this point the lack of communication and the
rise and requests just makes me feel used. Now to

(12:47):
the situation at hand. Last week, John visited Joseph and
Anita unannounced to talk about the wedding and asked them
for help. Joseph is the best man, and he agreed
to be the driver for the groom and bride, taking
them from their home to the courthouse, then to the
venue and back home the next day. However, the maid
of honor is Alma's cousin, Mary, female twenty five, who's
a cool and active person. She's joined us for camping

(13:09):
and other celebrations. John used his speech asking Anita to
undertake the task of decorating the whole venue with Mary's boyfriend.
After Anita questioned him for more details, it was clear
that nothing was planned. The venue would allow decorating to
start at two pm, but guests would arrive at five pm.
That is not enough time to decorate the whole place alone,

(13:31):
not even with two or four people. That's an impossible task.
Anita accepted, even though she feels like it's a crazy task.
From that conversation, they also understood that John believed I
had agreed to drive halfway across the country on the
day of the wedding to pick up four of his
relatives and drive them back, about a two hour drive
one way. However, my car isn't suitable for this, as

(13:51):
it is a four seater, including the driver. John said
that he would give me his car to drive, except
it has a different transmission and I have no experience
with driving it. I may have only ever tried reparking
a colleagues car, and that wasn't a great experience. My
girlfriend could do it, and she would accept if asked.
Maybe she was asked during the Christmas party, but I
have no memory of it. I'm not planning to spend

(14:11):
the day driving, though, when I could help with the
decorations or other smaller jobs. More than that, I feel
like it's not okay for him to ask this when
we are so distanced as friends and are barely even
acquaintances anymore. But here comes the peace day. Resistant there
is no wedding party and the invitations are not yet sent,
so no guest really knows the date, time or place,

(14:32):
and John hasn't even reached out to me personally in
any way, hasn't told directly of his plans for me
or my girlfriend in this at all. So he's like, yeah,
h you're gonna pick up five my family members or
four my family members. I don't have space, yea, don't worry.
And then one day I'll maybe I'll tell you what
day it is. One day. It's the Firefest of wedding.
This is Firefest wedding. This is Firefest two point zero.
All the information laid in the previous paragraph was a

(14:55):
retelling from Anita, And now I'm dreading the moment when
John appears by my doorstep with this me denying his
requests will set him off, as he has seemed tense
and tired of wedding planning, if you could even call it.
That also feels like there's going to be an update
in the next two weeks since his birthday's coming up,
and Anita believes he will want to talk then, which
again probably will include booze and bad decisions. So please

(15:18):
suggest on how to better deal with John's request? And
am I the a hole for considering denying his request?
In driving across the country to pick up his relatives
while the rest of the wedding planning is in shambles.
There is an update. It has been a week since
the original post, and the update is he's visiting tomorrow
after work, as he offered it. When I met him

(15:38):
in the grocery store yesterday. He asked, how's it going,
and I told him truthfully see point four below. I
was hoping and was right that he wouldn't start the
whole conversation in the store, and so he kindly asked
if he could visit tomorrow to deliver the wedding invitations
by hand and stuff, but didn't specify, so I'm afraid
what the stuff is possibly to talk about chores he

(16:01):
wants us to do. Meanwhile, I thought i'd make an
edit update, not sure exactly how it works. Point number
one for those wondering. We were close friends back in
the day. When John was evicted from his flat, I
helped him by allowing him to stay at my parents'
place for a few weeks while he was looking for
a new place, and consequentially, this is what led us
to become roommates. As I was also fresh out of

(16:23):
a relationship back then and looking for a new place.
Long story short, we know pretty well each other's allergies
are close family members, et cetera. Point number two. Since
I have no living grandparents and only one aunt, uncle
and cousin, it's quite impossible to make up a reason
several months in advance for us not attending. Culturally speaking,
we don't have such big family gatherings unless there's a

(16:44):
wedding or a funeral. Number three regarding the time spent
while driving, this is Europe and it's a small country.
It literally takes seven to eight hours to drive across
the whole country, so casual Sunday drivers I even walk
to my work as it's so close, like me, are
not used to driving such distances. Also, no other guest
would be traveling as much as I would that day

(17:06):
by going back and forth. I appreciate all the comments
from the friendly Americans. However, this topic is fifty to
fifty of question of principle and the normality of driving
long distances in our country. And here's point number four.
As for not going to his birthday party, we for
sure will not as life happens. To preface. Last year,
we booked a vacation to Spain for February with Joseph

(17:27):
and Anita and another couple. Flight and apartments are paid
for already, but at the New Year's party, my girlfriend
had an ACL tear and has now scheduled an operation
for the end of February. I know it sounds weird
going on a trip right before the operation, but the
other option is to lose all of the spent money,
as I would not go as well to support her
if she chose not to go. The operation itself costs

(17:49):
two months wages, and it takes a toll on our
mental health to figure out our financial situation. Additionally, girlfriend's
grandma was brought to the hospital and has been in
intensive care for more than a week. It hasn't been easy.
Sorry for rambling, but I feel like this is all
relevant as the drama with John's wedding is making us
even less empathetic towards him. Now. To sum up, tomorrow,

(18:09):
I think he's going to give us not only the invitations,
but also to have a serious conversation, reminding you he
still hasn't actually talked to us. This is all just assumptions.
I would be starting with the least offensive or serious issues,
going up step by step if necessary, That is, if
he doesn't take the hint as I don't want to
burn down all of the bridges. First would be his

(18:30):
car with the adition I'm not familiar with, like the
learning curve and the sense of responsibility for his property,
the distance, no offense, but I feel like we are
not that close anymore. Wish us luck? Yeah, I mean, honestly,
I think you can just be like no, yeah, it
doesn't even have to be like a fair x Y
and be like no, I don't wanna know is a
complete sentence. Your cousins are gonna have to figure out

(18:51):
another way to get to your wedding. Yeah, or maybe
plant a little bit longer hold on. Maybe we could
push the wedding back a little bit so we can
have it planned out properly.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
But but but what if I want to have a
wedding but no time to start it? What if I
want to have a wedding but no invitation sent What
if I want that?

Speaker 3 (19:15):
Then you just do exactly what you're doing, like you
stay exactly on the course of the year at and
then you let me know how it goes later because
I'm not going to be there. But that is the end.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Of that story, my friend turned on me over a
rumor despite knowing the truth.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
Maybe they just couldn't handle the truth. So this is
long and I'm sorry, but a bit of backstory.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
So I, thirty two female, have had this best friend
thirty two female I'll call her Stacy since my freshman year,
year nine of high school, so eighteen years of friendship.

Speaker 4 (19:43):
Now.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
We met at school and quickly became inseparable. By the way,
this comes from cam one nine and seven thirty five
on the r slage. Okay story times I burnt it
to Over the years, we have remained best friends even
when life took us in different directions and life paths,
such as me being single, traveling, just focusing on myself
and her becoming a wife and and focusing on that,
we remained absolute best friends. She had met her soon

(20:04):
to be husband, thirty two male I'll call him Matt,
in high school. They broke up many times over the years,
dated other people, but always wound.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
Up back together.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Eventually, they got married after she became pregnant with their
oldest around a summer of twenty fifteen, and they were
doing great. Then they split in like twenty seventeen and
she filed for divorce, but they never officially finished it,
so it was closed and they got back together maybe
a month or two later. Eventually they had two more children. Eventually,
a couple of years ago, she randomly texted me asking
if I was interested.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
In a new job working from home.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
Coincidentally, I had just found out the day before then
that I needed knee surgery, and given that I at
the time was a retail store manager, I was panicking
about how I would work while recovering from surgery. I
decided to take the leap and say yes to the
job offer from my best friend to work for her
and her then husband's company in the construction industry. I've
been with him then husband for two years and have

(20:58):
absolutely loved every moment working from him. That is, I
sincerely love my job. He's a fantastic boss, and he
has helped me with things that he didn't need to
just to show how he appreciates me.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
I e.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
He sent me seven hundred bucks at one point to
help me settle a medical debt with my psychiatrist because
my health insurance had lapsed because I was misled by
my insurance agent. And he told me just don't worry
about paying it back. He also gave me a raise
of ten K on my one year anniversary, and I
cried and thanked him because that would cover the increase
in my health insurance. And then he texted me that

(21:30):
he raised me another five K so I could enjoy
the raise and not have it all go to my
health insurance. And he brought me a brand new i've
had in my favorite color, just because he knew I
had wanted one. He even helped me get a second
job with another company he works for. I get to
do both jobs simultaneously, both bosses know about the other,
obviously in a forty to forty five hour work week

(21:50):
working from home, and I love both jobs, both what
I do and who I work with. I feel extremely fortunate,
especially considering I now make more than double what I
made at my very physically and mentally demanding job as
a retail manager after being there twice as long as
I've been with my current companies. I obviously have a
relationship with her soon to be ex husband as not

(22:11):
only her spouse and my boss, but as a friend
who I've known since she met him. And most importantly,
I consider him a friend because they have children together.
Once my best friends have children with someone, I'll try
everything I can to be friends with both parties because
I grew up in a split house and understand how
harmful picking sides can be to the kids. So unless

(22:33):
one parent is absolutely awful or once they have kids together,
their kids are the most important thing to me, and
I will love each parent equally. Now onto the DRUMA.
Stacey texts me out of the blue one day here
a couple of weeks ago, going off on me about
how I went on a girls trip with Matt's new.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Girlfriend question Mark. I was completely lost as to what
she was talking about. She was cussing at me, calling
me names, saying I did not truly care about her
or her kids because I had chosen a friendship with
the new girlfriend over her Stacy. Up to this point,
Stacy has been very back and forth on wanting to
get back together with Matt. Basically, if she had a

(23:10):
new guy interested in her, or she was dating someone
they had been living separately for over a year. At
this point, she was all about the divorce if nobody
was giving her attention. At the moment, she was all
about saving the family and getting Matt back.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
That's so exhausting. Save the family, pick a lane and
stay in it.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
I texted her back, asking what are you talking about,
and she said that she had been told by a
trustworthy source that I had gone on a girl's trip
with MAT's new boyfriend. She was not backing down on
me being a terrible person and friend, despite me absolutely
denying those rumors, because it isn't true. I had texted
with his new girlfriend a bit only to organize a

(23:54):
surprise birthday dinner for Matt, but that was still a
few days away. I had never even met this girl
in person. Eventually, I just said, okay, fine, if this
is how you want to end a eighteen year friendship,
so be it. It shows how much you value our friendship.
Fast forward, like three weeks we haven't spoken. She texts
me some upsetting news about her family. Because obviously I

(24:15):
love them after being around them for eighteen years. I
expressed my gratitude for her keeping me in the loop
and say they'll be on my mind. Basically, she apologizes
for everything. She says she shouldn't have flashed out, that
she's under a lot of stress with the divorce and
the kids and maintaining the house and fighting out life now,
et cetera, et cetera, How she misses me and regrets
lashing out. And I said that I understand how that
could be, but that isn't a great excuse for acting

(24:39):
that way. That I would have simply asked her if
it was true. But she tells me the person's name
who told me this room. It was a fellow employee.
I'll call her Beatrice, Oh, of the company I work for,
Matt's company, talk to me.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
I was so stressed because I was waiting for it
to be like Matt was the one who did that.
I was waiting it for it to be like, yeah,
and me and Ope and my new girlfriend, like we
all went on a trip and it was great and
we all talked about how we don't like you, and
like I was waiting for that. I was like, and
now Matt is not the cool guy. But Matt, he's
still cool, still a cool guy. I told cool guy.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
I'm I'm ninety percent like I feel like I feel
like Matt's gonna gonna gonna take the thing home.

Speaker 3 (25:20):
Yeah, he's genuinely being genuine good boy. Yes, And now
we've got a whole b situation due or should I
say the Beatrice situation beeatrits.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Beatrice had recently started being super aggressive towards me for
no reason, to the point that two other employees approached
me about how her aggression towards everything I say was
making them feel uncomfortable on virtual company meetings. Matt had
offered to talk to her, but I said no because
I'm not confrontational.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
I just ignore stuff.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
I had basically become Matt's right hand by this time.
We felt very comfortable discussing business topics with each other.
He runs everything for his company by me. It's a
small company, but still comes to a lot of decisions,
and we discussed dang near everything before He made makes
the big decisions, so naturally he tells me lots of things,
and Beatrice had been warning him that I was embezzling

(26:08):
money and legitimately not doing any work. Now there's two
problems with this I can think of many. One, I
didn't even have access to her company's finances. I knew
numbers because Matt tells me pretty much everything, but I
didn't have direct access to the money, so how would
I have embezzled? And Two, as I mentioned before, I
have two jobs, one working for Matt and one working

(26:29):
for him. In both jobs, he's my boss, so he
knows what I'm doing, when and why I text him
any time I'm not at my desk between the hours
of nynam to five pm. He doesn't even care what
hours I work as long as the work gets done loll.
He asked me to please stop texting him by every
move because it makes him feel like he doesn't trust me.
So I am working, just none of what Beatrice wants
me to be working on. So Beatrice is known to

(26:51):
be a liah and Stacy knows this, but she chose
to lash out at me anyways. I tell Stacy that
I accept her apology and I appreciate it, but I'm
not sure if things will ever go back to how
they used to be because it sincerely.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Hurt me that she thought that little of me that I.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
Would hurt her like that, and since then things haven't
really been the same. I don't feel the urgency to
text her back like I used to, or find myself
missing hanging out with her. So am I the a
hole for limiting, slash changing this friendship dynamic?

Speaker 3 (27:19):
After she laughed lashed out, we have.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
An update, but just super quick checking in.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Is Sop the a hole? No, I mean it's I think,
if anything, it just kind of that when you take
a really passive stance, things just kind of happen around you.
And it seems like Op has chosen that kind of
passive yes approach of like instead of talking it out
or confronting the issue, just kind of kind of let it,
let it ride, and then like how I feel about
it is gonna affect me. And then yeah, it makes

(27:45):
sense that you're not texting them back that fast update.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Adding this in for some context. We've had issues in
the past. I've caught her in many lives about weird
stuff over the years, cross checking some stuff that she's
told me on some stuff by talking with people involved casually,
and a lot of times they acts like I'm crazy
because of what I'm saying. AKA, what Stacy has told
me is just way off from the truth. Between conversations

(28:09):
she's had with Matt to things happening with mutual friends,
I've been shown proof even of some stuff she says
happening not being true, but I've always just ignored it
because I love her and just figure that she likes
the attention.

Speaker 6 (28:21):
Now.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
I've heard her tell stories to people about situations I
was with her in and she embellishes a lot of
random things. Made up a whole story once about us
being pulled over that never happened, but she did it
because she was late to something and made that as
an excuse. I guess, But as far as Beatrice goes,
I completely agree about her being toxic. She was let
go a week after Stacey blew up on me. Firing

(28:43):
was unrelated to the Stacy situation. She was let go
for many reasons relating to work, even outside of her
attitude towards me.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Only reason it took a few weeks was.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Because Matt and I were making sure that we had
proof of everything. The two employees who expressed discomfort at
how she was speaking to me. But please don't think
we don't value their feelings in being uncomfortable the two
employees we did. We actually stopped virtual meetings altogether for
a while to avoid having them play in a situation
while Beatrice was still with us. The only reason I
told Matt not to confront her when he asked me

(29:12):
the other two employees not express concerns yet, or I
would have chosen to address. It was because I thought
maybe I was just overreacting or being too sensitive, like
maybe she was just having a bad week or something.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
And it would get better or something like that.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
I saw some comments asking if Beatrice had access to finances.
The answer is no, no company card or access to
see the accounts. She didn't know what anyone was paid
or anything like that. I have no idea where this
embezzling thing comes from. I don't know how she figured
that one up. It was genuinely a mystery to Matt
and I both. And that's the end of the story.
Kind of a cliffhanger there. It's it's okay to have

(29:44):
a conversation, Like if we're giving op any note here
in the story, I think that it is like it
is okay to talk and communicate and express the things
that you maybe don't feel good about or you're.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
Like trying to work through and all that jazz. Yeah,
have the confrontation.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
Hey it's Johnny here. We're gonna get back to the stories.
But here's a quick three minute break of ass from
our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
My sister disrespected my kid free wedding rule.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
So I had a removed that's a lot.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
So I twenty eight female. I'm getting married next month
and I've been planning this wedding for almost a year.
My fiance, thirty one male, and I both agreed we
wanted an adult only event, mostly because we envisaged a
more formal wedding. Have you been to an adult's only wedding?

Speaker 7 (30:27):
Yeah, it's lit.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Also, the venue is small and very upscale, not really
the best place for young kids to be around. By
the way, this comes from Stranger Danger four four for
four and if you want to submit your own stories,
good to our slash Okay storytime subburt it. So the
problem is my sister, thirty two female, who has two kids,
five and seven. When I first mentioned the no kids policy,
she didn't seem too upset, but as we got closer

(30:50):
to the wedding, she started dropping little hints about how
hard it would be to find a sitter. Totally get
that it's tough, but I did offer to pay for
a local sitter to stay with their kids at her
hotel for the night. That's a whim so she could
tend the wedding without worrying. Well, she didn't like that suggestion.
She says it's unfair because our other sister's wedding three

(31:11):
years ago was family friendly and allowed kids. But they
are different weddings. But at the time, our niece and
nephew were much younger and much quieter. At this age,
they're really energetic and love running around, and they tend
to get cranky at night, which isn't what I want
on my wedding day. It's become a point of contention.
She's now saying that if her kids aren't invited, she's

(31:34):
not sure she'll attend, which honestly hurts your bit. Do
you think that's too much?

Speaker 7 (31:37):
I think so. I mean it's like your sister's wedding, she's.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
On sureci'll attend, which honestly hurts a bit. My mom
have told me it's our choice, our wedding, our rules,
since we are the ones getting married, and I feel
like I've been flexible and offered a good solution. But
she's making me feel guilty for not bending this rule
for family. So am I the a hole for sticking
to the no kid's rule and potentially making my sister
feel well unwelcome.

Speaker 3 (32:00):
But we got an edit.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
So a lot of people have asked if I know
the sitter and I do okay. She lives in her
neighborhood and has a lot of our kids, neighbors or
our neighbors kids. She is a very responsible young woman,
around twenty two to twenty four, can't remember her exact age.
I do, of course, understand that my sister might not
be comfortable leaving the kids to a person she doesn't know,

(32:21):
but I just wanted to offer her a solution. Her
husband also has a family who I don't think would
have anything against sitting the kids for one night. But
I will let her decide if she wants to show them.
I just hope she does, since I do care about
her and would love to have her there. Another reason
is we don't want kids there because there's open bar
and we don't want kids and wasted people around each other.

(32:43):
And my fiance's family loves the party with a nice
amount of wine and beer, Like, why would you even
want your kids there? Thank you for all the nice
words and advice. I will give an update after the
wedding and we will be keeping the no kids rule,
but we are thinking about letting kids be there for
the ceremony like some people suggested. Sorry has taken so
long to write the update. To be honest, I totally

(33:05):
forgot about my post between the wedding, the honeymoon, and
the family drama. It just slipped my mind. But better
late than never.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
Right.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
Well, the wedding happened, and let's just say it wasn't
without its moments. Buckle up because this is a ride.
So after the last post, me and my now husband
decided to allow kids at the ceremony, but kept the
reception adults only. My sister wasn't thrilled, but said she
would figure something out. I took that to mean she
was actually going to find someone to take the kids

(33:33):
after the ceremony. No, it wasn't that ha cute of
me to assume. And it's not like I don't like
my nephew and niece. They're adorable and sweet when we
babysit them because they know we set rules. But when
my sister is there, they don't listen to anything because
she and her husband let them do whatever they want. Okay,
So I feel like these kids are going to be
let loose on this wedding. I think it's not gonna

(33:54):
go well, little children. The ceremony was beautiful, My niece
and nephew had their iPads, so they were still and
well behaved for a moment, For a beautiful moment, I
thought everything would go smoothly. How naive I was. After
the ceremony, me and my newlywed husband stayed to take
some more photos, and then we moved to the reception.

(34:14):
Guests were already mingling, drinks were being poured, and I
was feeling great, and out of the corner of my
eye I saw my sister, her husband, and the kids.
The one thing I told you not to bring, you'll
bring these little rugrats in. Come on, How hard is
it to leave your kids somewhere? People do it all
the time. I thought she was just waiting for someone

(34:34):
to come pick them up, and didn't think much of it.
Then about twenty minutes later, my nephew bolted across the
room and in between the tables, nearly colliding with my stepfather.
I looked at my maid of honor and we both
walked over to my sister. Keeping my voice low, I
reminded her that the reception was adults only. I feel

(34:54):
like she's doing this and her like, I just want
to remind you.

Speaker 7 (34:57):
As the kids are like running around.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
Yeah, causing a ruckus.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
She sighed dramatically like I was personally ruining her life,
and said, we couldn't find a sitter last minute, so
we'll just keep them for a little while.

Speaker 7 (35:11):
Last minute, y'all had time to prepare.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
I calmly told her that I had given her multiple options,
including a fully vetted, well recommended sitter and her own
in laws, but she thanked no to the sitter and
apparently didn't ask her in laws. So she refused the
sitter and didn't ask the in law, So this is
weaponized in competence. Well, she just shrugged and said, well,

(35:34):
we're already here and they're behaving just fine. At that
exact moment, glass shattered, My heart dropped. The entire room
passed away silent. I looked around trying to figure out
what happened, and saw my aunt, God bless her, I
love her so much, lifting my nephew and handing him
over to my stepdad. He was fortunately okay because he
didn't step in glass. Because my lovely aunt were close

(35:56):
enough to control the situation, My dad and husband cleaned
all the glasses up. Apparently my nephew had been crawling
under the tables, which is why. Maybe a sister was like, oh, yeah,
they're not causing any troublecause you couldn't see them. They
were doing a covert operation to flip over the tables
and mess up the wedding. You must have pulled a
cloth by accident, making a plate and a few glasses

(36:17):
fall and shatter. Thankfully, nobody got hurt and the glass
got cleaned up. My maid of honor helped find some
new glasses and a plates, and when the chaos was
taken care of, I went back to my sister and
told her she needed to get the kids home now. Yeah, leave, leave,
get out of here, and she lost her mind again,

(36:41):
this is at op's a wedding. My sister started yelling.
She said stuff like, I can't believe you're choosing a
stupid rule over your own family. You're being a total bridezilla,
and you're literally punting out your own niece and nephew
like their stray dogs. Heck, yeah, you deserve to be
punted out. At this point, people were staring. My husband

(37:02):
came over to back me up, and my sister's husband
came to calm her down. She said she couldn't drive
them home since she already had something to drink. My
brother in law, her husband said he would drive them
to his parents' place. Why was it that option used
from the beginning? They literally had that option the whole time.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
I'm a little mad the audacity.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
She got even more mad and said that she couldn't
leave her kids just to be at the wedding. My
mom then told her that she could leave to them,
and then my sister stormed out while muttering about how
I was selfish and heartless. My brother in law her
husband just stood there looking so embarrassed, before awkwardly getting
their kids, apologized to me and my husband, and then

(37:46):
following her outs. The rest of the night went really nice.
After the kids are gone, we had so much fun.
It was genuinely a good night. My husband and I
took a taxi to our hotel around three. The party
didn't end till around five or six, but we were
tired and just decided it was enough for us. We
fell asleep right away, and it was honestly the best
sleep ever. I thought the drama was over.

Speaker 7 (38:07):
Oh God, I thought it was too.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I thought we were wrapping up. No, there's more drama.
These kids are gonna crawl back. They're gonna be like
little kid zombies. I thought the drama was over, but nah,
that would be too boring, right, Honestly, I wouldn't mind
some boring moments. The next morning, I say morning, but
it was after one pm. We were both pretty hungover
and decided to just order some pizza since we didn't
want to go down and eat with a whole lot
of people in a cafe in the hotel restaurant. I

(38:31):
checked my phone while he ordered pizza and saw my
mom had written me to not pay attention to the post.
She would take care of it. Our people just putting
their family drama on Facebook again, because I think that's
what's happening.

Speaker 7 (38:43):
That's not surprising. Facebook is so weird.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
I was so confused and didn't know what she was
talking about. But then I saw my sister's post on Facebook.
My sister had posted a full on rant about how
I humiliated her in front of everyone and made her
choose between her kids and her family. She claimed I

(39:08):
was targeting her for having a fancy wedding and excluding
her kids, and she heavily implied that I had disinvited
her because I hated being an aunt and hated her kids.
What Some of our distant relatives who weren't even at
the wedding started calling me out. One of my cousins commented, Wow,
some people take weddings way too seriously. It's just one night.

(39:29):
What the heck, it's your wedding night. It's not just
any night.

Speaker 7 (39:32):
It's your night.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
And also, op, he gave so many weeks.

Speaker 7 (39:36):
Also, it's like.

Speaker 8 (39:37):
You're spending that much money on your party, Like you
can make your own rules.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
We're having a little bull party right now. We're not
inviting kids.

Speaker 7 (39:45):
And guess what the rules are. Be a cowgirl and
a cowboy, not a cow kid. And we listened to
the rules.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
But luckily, my god sent mom and dad were not
having it. They had both jumped into the comments to
set the record straits, saying I'd given her plenty of
options and she was fully aware of the rule months
in advance.

Speaker 7 (40:06):
Must we belabor the point?

Speaker 1 (40:08):
If it was a point, it's just being like stabbed
into the ground and made very dull. I given her
plenty of options and she was fully aware of the
rule months in advance. I literally offered to pay for
a sitter and she refused to use it. I didn't
want to get into it and just turned off the phone.
A few days after the wedding, my brother in law,
my sister's husband, called me to apologize. He admitted that

(40:32):
he had begged my sister to either accept my offer
of a sitter or leave the kids with his parents,
but she refused because she thought I'd cave at the
last minute. So basically, the sister was planning this whole
thing and be like, no, I'm not going to get
a sitter because I want my kids there.

Speaker 7 (40:48):
That's so silly. That's just rude.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
I mean, it's super rude. He was mortified by how
she acted and told me he had no idea she
was going to make a scene like that. Apparently they
got into a huge fight about it afterwards because he
was embarrassed that she made a scene. I didn't really
say much. We had planned her honeymoon to be from
the third of January to the twelfth of January so
that we could hold Christmas and New Year's with our families,

(41:12):
and the temperature is better in January for a skiing track.
We held Christmas at my husband's parents and it was
really nice. We then spent New Years with some of
our friends. My sister did not speak to me at
all since the wedding. She did take down the post, though.
We went on our honeymoon and it was so much fun.
We both snowboard, though on total different skill levels, him
being just a teeny didy bit better. My sister called

(41:33):
to apologize during the trip, but it really just ended
up with her belittling me for punting her out of
the wedding. So that's funn I guess. Do I regret
punting her out? Absolutely not. My wedding was so much
better after she left. No drama, just perfect nights. Amen,
throw people out that deserve to be thrown out? Well,
no drama, just a perfect night with the people who

(41:55):
I love. There's another relevant updates, but I feel like
we've ever good ground. Hopefully no more drama.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Well.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
Am I mad about the Facebook post? Not really? My
mom and dad dragged her so hard in the comments
that she eventually deleted it.

Speaker 3 (42:06):
Good.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
Am I still talking to my sister? Do you think
this deserves no contact?

Speaker 3 (42:11):
No?

Speaker 8 (42:12):
I feel like this shouldn't lead to that, Like, why
can't people just have good conflict resolution?

Speaker 1 (42:18):
How would you resolute this conflict?

Speaker 7 (42:20):
I mean literally just have a conversation.

Speaker 8 (42:22):
Hey, this was my wedding, Like, it wasn't fair for
you to not listen to this request that I had
that I have like full rights to make and then
to like make a scene and make her seem.

Speaker 7 (42:32):
Like a bad guy.

Speaker 8 (42:33):
It's just disrespectful, Like you can just tell people.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
That I would be way more reticent to invite sister
to a big event later if like this is the
kind of stuff she pulled.

Speaker 7 (42:43):
I don't think this warrants no contact.

Speaker 8 (42:45):
I think this warrants like a serious conversation with your
family member.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
Serious conversation and then caution on the next events. She
has yet to actually apologize and still acts like I
was the unreasonable one at this point. I'm just letting
her stew in her own bad decisions. Oh yeah, hope
you enjoyed the read, even though the update is a
bit late. And that is where this story ends.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
And I hired a house sitter from an app and
she ended up stealing from me.

Speaker 7 (43:13):
Oh, why you can't trust someone on the internet. That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
Hired a sitter on Rover over a month ago for
a trip this week from last Saturday through Friday to
house sit at my house we did a meet and greet.
I liked her. She had eight five star reviews over
the last year and a half, with the last several
months of verified stays booked through Rover. We did exchange
WhatsApp numbers because I'm out of the country on this
trip and do not have an international calling plan. By

(43:39):
the way, this comes from user dragon master Ash and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime subredit. She sent messages the
first few days. Wednesday, at three am, she sent a
message that she had been sick with the stomach bug
but was feeling better. She asked a question about one
dog's behavior, sitting in the bathroom and barking, and I responded,
she probably wants fresh woe he's asking to drink from

(44:01):
the toilet. I didn't hear anything, so I sent several
messages checking in on WhatsApp and Rover. No response. I
checked my smart lock on my door and there was
very minimal locking and unlocking, and always from the inside.
I checked my camera outside that door. My dogs happened
to be outside, so I watched them. Then I hear
a man, a man I don't know, say, okay, one
last shot. Then the man whistles for the dogs to

(44:23):
come inside, and she wobbles into the doorway. They walk out,
and she falls over and he catches her. They leave
together in I assume his vehicle. She was barefoot and
obviously heavily indoxicated. That was four PM on Thursday. I
sent my friend over around midnight check on the dogs
and let them out. She found my bottles of liqueur
all empty all over the dining table. They were all

(44:46):
either brand new or over half full. A handful of
Seltzers empty and in the trash, and a container of
corotum on the table and several more in the trash.
A couple empty bottles of a THHC drink with more
in the fridge that are not mine. A vape pen
on the table, loose pills in the bottom of her purse,
methyl carbonol five hundred milligram that matches the prescription my

(45:07):
dog has, but she had more than what my dog
was prescribed, so either none or only some were stolen
from my dog. My boxes where I keep medications were
taken down from the cabinet in the bathroom and set
on the counter and back of the toilet. I won't
know if any are missing until I get home, but
I have the things worth stealing with me, and the
toilets clawed. The second toilet has a towel under it,

(45:28):
like it was leaking, which it has never done before.
My dogs free feed. I keep food in their bowls
at all time. Both bowls were empty, their water, a
two gallon bowl with a fountain was empty. My friend
put two and a half cups of food in both
bowls and they immediately ate all of it. Then she
put another five cups in both bowls and they kept eating.
They never do this, so they hadn't been fed in

(45:48):
a long time. Thank you for reading this far. I
want to know what is every single step I should
take next. I've already made a report to Rover. I
can't call their number until I'm back in the country.
At my layover around six thirty pm today, I sent
them all the pictures from my friend and the video
from my camera of her falling over. They're sending it
to their trust and Safety team and said I should

(46:09):
get a response within twenty four hours. They've offered no
alternatives to pet care. In the meantime, my friend spoke
with the police and they said her stuff is abandoned property,
so have her car towed and do whatever with her
things inside my house. If she comes back, I can
keep her stuff until I'm home and make sure she
only leaves with her things. I've deactivated her door code
so it won't work and all doors are locked, but

(46:30):
I'll see if she attempts to come back and use
her code. Her car is still in my driveway. My
friend peeked inside and saw synthetic urine inside. I have
not had any communication since the message Wednesday how much
liability is on Rover? And there's some comments Yeah, I
feel like this op doesn't have any questions other than
who do I need to sue and how hard can

(46:52):
I sue them? Bulky District twenty seven to fifty seven
says this is insane. I'd imagine Rover will refund you
and then ban this. Opie says, I do also feel
like that much is guaranteed. I'm not sure about the
several one hundred dollars in drink she has consumed. Is
that a civil suit? Can I even get her info
from Rover to be able to file that? And I

(47:12):
have no idea the cost of the toilet repair. Scooty
Duty says, Hey, so she got really effed up and
a man came and took her away, and she never
returned for her car or any of her stuff. Am
I the only one actually concerned for the sitters well being?
What if she's been kidnapped? She had good reviews and
one and a half years of them to boot. This
is really abnormal behavior from what I can see. Opie

(47:32):
says she definitely knew the man who showed up. He
seemed concerned when he first got there, and he stayed
for a while before they left together. He was helping
her to the car. It seemed like he came to help.
Opie replies, I was also wondering how someone with this
level of substance use could have passed the background check.
I have her last name because she has business cards
in her purse. In a vague address from the Rover profile,

(47:53):
Anna x D says, none of the substances that were
being used or illegal, So as long as the sitter
hasn't committed a crime adject to regular using theft, dui,
et cetera, there's no reason why they would not pass
a background check. Sounds like the sitter is smart, enough
to have a designated driver if they left their vehicle
in Ope's driveway. However, it seems like their sticky finger

(48:13):
will eventually land them a theft chart. Op says, well,
it's theft now. All the liquor bottles were mine, and
the seltzers and there's an update. After going through the
whole house. There were methyl carba maol pills scattered everywhere
throughout her things, as well as a few pseudo fed amoxicillin,
another vape, and many, many, many, many many of those
little boxes of crowd inside her box of cosmetics, inside

(48:36):
her box of yarn and crochet supplies, inside multiple pockets
of her purse. I threw all of it away. She
has a prescription bottle for certraline. It was on the
floor in a bag, and thank god my dogs didn't
get into it. My custom built gaming table, the floor
under it, and the chair that was on that end
of the table are all incredibly sticky and nasty. Multiple
towels were in the washing machine. The towel on the

(48:57):
floor of the spare bath smells like wrap her clothes
in the spare room. The main bath was clogged because
the tank was empty, because the water was shut off.
It appears to be flushing now, hopefully that's functional. The
toilet is stinky, nasty. The spare bath is stinky nasty.
The dogs were happy to see me. I brought them
chicken nuggets I turned my back, and a guinea ate

(49:17):
half my burger bun two that countersurfing goon. Both are
currently napping on either side of me. I'll investigate the
yard in the morning, given that I found some empty
hands and a cigarette butt on the front porch. Her
car is still out front. It's parked entirely off the street,
with all four wheels in the grass between my yard
and my neighbor's yard. I'm still going through all the
camera footage, and there's more. The man was there longer,

(49:40):
and she stumbled into the house at nine am Wednesday.
I think they were gone all Tuesday night. I will
update once I can finish reviewing all that No new
responses from Rover. Update two five days later. I finished
reviewing all of the camera footage. Took most of the
Saturday and Sunday. After arriving home, the sitter arrived at
my home at ten thirty am Saturday. I hadn't requested

(50:01):
her to start until the afternoon, but she said she
happened to be off work but would show up early.
She started drinking the Seltzers on the front porch at
eleven am that day. She notices the camera and tries
to hide the cans in her dress as she drinks
them outside. Saturday and Sunday, she also smokes outside those days.
I found an empty box of the Devil's letters and

(50:22):
saw her bring that into the house. Plus I found
a lighter. I assume that's what she was smoking. Her
boyfriend starts showing up on Tuesday and shows up every
day after that, usually twice a day. I've never met
him and never agreed to allow him in my house.
She appears wasted while leaving Tuesday at six thirty pm,
and no one returns until she comes back Wednesday at

(50:42):
eight thirty am, also stumbling. She sent me an update
at three thirty am while not even at my house,
to say she had a stomach bug and ask about
my one dog barking in the bathroom. I responded saying
she was asking for water. That was the last communication
I had from her until Friday morning, when her boy
friend tried to get into the house with her code
I sent several messages and requests for updates via rover

(51:05):
and WhatsApp, but didn't hear back. First time my door
opens on Thursday is at three forty five pm, when
her boyfriend shows up. It's possible she let the dogs
out in the backyard, but until then they had been
going out the side door with the camera quite often,
so I suspect they weren't let out at all that day.
Watching the full video, her boyfriend has a moment of
breaking down crying, facing the outdoor camera with his back

(51:28):
to her after finding her, so I don't think he
was encouraging her to drink. His full comment after listening
very closely, is take one last shot and then we'll go.
And there's another quieter we got to get out of here.
I think he was just trying to convince her to leave.
I do think it's possible she was actually in the hospital.
I never saw anyone else show up to the house,

(51:48):
so given how much she drank, she absolutely should have
been in the hospital. In general, the videos were a
lot of just the dogs being outside, barking to come in,
wandering around, and Ginny begging for someone to throw her frisbee.
It was so hard to watch them be ignored like that.
I feel guilty for not keeping a closer eye on
my camera. I normally watched the door locking and unlocking

(52:10):
and use that to check the camera, but she wasn't
locking it even overnight or when she left the house.
I know I wouldn't have caught the early signs of
drinking the seltzers unless I was watching every single video.
But I'm feeling the parent guilt over everything my babies
went through. I've written out a full timeline of events,
saved all relevant videos, saved screenshots of all conversations on
WhatsApp and Rover, printed all emails with Rover, included a

(52:33):
copy of my dogs sitting instructions, and collected every photo
from myself and my friends. I updated the itemized list
to include the actual amount of time my friend spent there,
screenshots of ubercosts and things like that, plus court costs.
I ordered all photos to be printed to bring to court.
I'm not sure how to share the videos other than
bring my tablet court with me, but I took the

(52:54):
most damning screenshot from every video and added that to
the printed photos. I officially filed paperwork for a civil
suit against her and the sheriff has everything to serve her.
After double checking all the costs of everything, getting the
total from the housekeeper, and adding the court related costs,
I'm suing for eleven hundred and twenty four dollars. If
all goes well, court will be mid May. I'm sorry,
I hate to say this. OP. Maybe I'm just a cynic.

(53:16):
You're not getting that money. You're You're not going to
get that money from her until the government garnishes her bank.
I searched public records in my area for her, and
she has no records for crimes or probation that I
could find. I'm guessing the synthetic urine was to pass
a substance screen for work. I was able to get
a housekeeper to come Monday to help with the sticky

(53:37):
mess and gross bathrooms. I've been doing laundry for days
in between all the documentation. Everything in my house feels
gross and violated. The pups are acting relatively normal, maybe
a little more tired than usual. The Independent hound dog
is definitely clingier than usual and actually listening when I
tell her to come. The Carolina dog couldn't possibly get
more clinge than she already was, and she's acting perfectly normal.

(53:59):
The vet said after six days without it, the prozac
is basically out of Jenny's system and it could take
another six to eight weeks to see full effects again.
There's also a chance it will not work at all
anymore after suddenly stopping it. So far, it does seem
she's calmer, so I'm hoping she's feeling better to be
back on it and home safe with Mama. Relevant comments,
super Crush says, I've been waiting for this update. I

(54:21):
cannot imagine how someone could do this while responsible for
someone else's babies, slash in another person's home. I wish
you all the best with your case and hope to
get more updates. As the sitter said, anything else to you,
OPI says, not sure if you read all the updates
on the other post. So she apologized for making me
uncomfortable and leaving my house a mess and said she
hadn't drank in nine years, then threatened me for keeping

(54:43):
her things. I said that her things were in her
car and it had been towed, and if she wanted
to settle things out of court, here's the itemized list.
I listed out all of the drink cleaning fees and
extra sitters for three check ins. After she left, she
said she'll have her lawyer call me, and this is
a cease and desist. I haven't heard anything from her
since then. So when discussing what costs to add to

(55:04):
the civil suit, mind over Enterpie says, you're the time
you spent cleaning the vet costs and the time there
should also be included. And I hope they were prior
talk seventy seven to twenty six says, and you said
you hired a house cleaner, include that too, Ope replies,
I included the house cleaner with a receipts signed by
both of us. I haven't included my time spent cleaning.
I can bring that up in court and see what
they say. Shrinking Nadia said, And the time your friend

(55:26):
took to go over and check things out and consider
a lawyer OPI says, Yes, I included Uber for friends
and the time they spent there for the three check
ins until I could get home. And we have a
third update. So I showed up at the most recent
court date. I tried to have the sheriff serve her
paperwork returned as multiple failed attempts, I sent certified mail
to her home and returned undeliverable. I sent certified mail

(55:49):
to her business and someone not her signed for it,
and that was returned to the court as well. The
judge said that I have to continue to attempt and
they cannot hear the case until she is served. My
only allowed options for serve her are via sheriff or
certified mail. So I need help. How do I find
her and get her served? The sheriff in post office
left notes that they attempted to reach her, so she
knows I'm after her. I have the following information on

(56:12):
her because of everything she left in my house, which
has since been returned. Her full name address at the
time of events, her frequently used user names from her
cash app, credit card, her social Security number, Her card
was in her things, prent and former driver's license, her
past workplaces, and her now expired car dealership seller license number.
It's not searchable. Unfortunately, I found her Facebook page that

(56:33):
has minimal public info, Instagram that is barely used in
a reddited account frequently used, but nothing on this subredit.
Based on what I have, it looks like she moved
to another city two and a half hours away, but
in the same state. I'm not sure if it's allowed
to post the state, but that's super relevant because legal
issues vary so wildly from state to state. So I'll
put it in a comment in case that needs to
be deleted irrelevant comments. Op says the state is North Carolina.

(56:56):
Why not hire someone to serve her hilarious individuals aren't
allowed to serve in my state, unfortunately, or I would
absolutely be down for such antics. And that is the
end of that story.

Speaker 7 (57:06):
Oh wow, wow, it's over just like that.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
So this is what you need to do is a
good old fashioned public shaming. People need to know that
they can't trust this person to come into their homes.
They can't trust this person in their place of business.
People need to know that they cannot trust this person
around their medication, at their pets.

Speaker 7 (57:22):
Yeah, like, I mean, if this is bad press website, like,
but that's not our fop.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host here. Bring it back
to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

Speaker 6 (57:32):
My neighbor left her kids on my porch for me
to babysit without any notice. For context, I seventeen female
live with my dad and his mother. My grandma adores kids,
and they love her too. Whenever we go to family gatherings,
they all swarm her.

Speaker 7 (57:47):
I am the opposite.

Speaker 6 (57:48):
I don't like being around kids and avoid them at
all times if possible, as.

Speaker 7 (57:51):
They worsen my anxiety.

Speaker 6 (57:53):
By the way, this comes from your mother's secret lover
and if you want to sum in your own stories,
go to the our slash Okay story time separad it.
So it's been made clear to my family that I
am not a babysitter unless it is a genuine emergency,
and I am the last resort.

Speaker 7 (58:08):
Call me selfish for that ifty one.

Speaker 6 (58:09):
But being around little kids causes anxiety attacks due to
some past situations with my mother that I won't dive into.
Despite that, my grandma told my neighbors, not sure if
their ages I'll call them Stacy and John, that if
there was ever an emergency or their preferred sitter canceled,
she would watch their two daughters.

Speaker 7 (58:26):
I believe around six female and nine female.

Speaker 6 (58:29):
This luckily doesn't happen very often, and I've never argued
about this because it's my grandma's house.

Speaker 7 (58:34):
And I can simply stay in my room until the
kids leave.

Speaker 6 (58:37):
This past Friday, John had a stroke and Stacy dropped
everything to rush him to the hospital. But at the
time I didn't know this, seeing as Stacy dropped the
two girls off on our porch and didn't wait for
anyone to answer the door before rushing off. The only
issues that my dad was in another state to celebrate
the fourth and my Grandma was multiple cities over and
wouldn't be home until later that night. I couldn't call
her as her location tracking app said that her phone

(58:59):
passed away, and when I tried calling the family she
was with that they didn't pick up.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
I don't know what to.

Speaker 6 (59:04):
Do with little kids, seeing as I don't babysit and
haven't been around a child willingly in.

Speaker 7 (59:09):
Years, so I did my best with what I had.

Speaker 6 (59:11):
I made them chicken nuggets and fries, turned on Disney,
and sat on the couch watching them, waiting until someone
else got home. The girls didn't complain, but I was
very uncomfortable the entire time, seeing my neighbor's car wasn't
in the driveway, and knowing about their prior agreement with
my grandma. I would have felt guilty turning them away,
so I decided to just suck it.

Speaker 7 (59:29):
Up despite the anxiety.

Speaker 6 (59:30):
When my grandma came home, she told me that she
had charged her phone in the car on the way,
and Stacy had called her, letting her know about John's
stroke and why she gave my grandma no notice about
leaving them, to which my grandma replied she hadn't been
home all night. I explained everything to my grandma, and
she apologized for putting me in that position, but I
told her it wasn't her fault and just asked that
she tell the neighbors to make sure she or my

(59:51):
dad is home in the future to avoid this happening again.
I also said this situation was an exception, as it
was an emergency, but I did feel a certain kind
of way about her leaving her kids on the poor unintended.
All the lights, rob and my parents' cars were gone,
no indication that anyone was home. She said she understood,
and I thought the situation was done and over with.
That was until my neighbor came.

Speaker 7 (01:00:09):
Knocking on my front door while my parents were both working.

Speaker 6 (01:00:12):
She did not yell at me, but very passive aggressively
stated that she was sorry her kids made me so
uncomfortable and so that I shouldn't have fed the kid's
chicken without consulting her first, as they were trying to
go vegetarian. Nine female had watched some kind of documentary
and didn't want anyone in the house eating meat.

Speaker 3 (01:00:27):
Probably just was like.

Speaker 7 (01:00:28):
I don't want to hurt animals, and then and then
was like we all have just dot.

Speaker 6 (01:00:33):
I apologized, but stated how exactly she would expect me
to know that, seeing as I don't regularly interact with
her john and that the kids didn't mention it to me.
Nine female didn't eat the chicken, but didn't say anything
to indicate that she was uncomfortable with her or her
sister eating it. I will admit my tone was rude.
I tend to get snappy and irritated during confrontations. She
said she was surprised my grandma didn't tell me, and
said that next time she'd make sure to give me

(01:00:54):
a heads up when her husband had a stroke and
I'd have to suffer with her children. I understand how
hard it is when a loved one has a stroke.
My dad had one last year, so I don't expect
her to be completely rational right now, and I understand
the frustration when my grandma got home from work. She
showed me messages from Stacy saying that she and John
had been appalled by my behavior, that I shouldn't be
left around kids, just like I've been preaching for years,

(01:01:17):
and suggested to my grandma I get some kind of lessons.
I'm not sure if she meant a parenting class or
something else on how to responsibly watch children should this
happen again. My grandma politely declined the lessons, but said
that she would talk to me after showing me the text.
She says she understood my anxiety, but that I shouldn't
have been so rude and it wasn't a big deal
to watch the girls for a few hours. My dad
sided with my neighbors and said that I should probably

(01:01:38):
learn a bit because I can't avoid being around kids forever.
I didn't think I did anything wrong, and had Stacy
stayed around see if my grandma was there, this could
have been avoided. And furthermore, I didn't complain much about
watching them, just that it made me anxious, like all
kids do. I do feel guilty for snapping on a
woman whose husband just had a stroke, but I feel
like she shouldn't be allowed to accuse me of being
irresponsible because she didn't like how I handled her kids

(01:02:00):
with zero notice and little experience with children. Am I
wrong for not responsibly watching kids I never agreed to watch?

Speaker 7 (01:02:07):
And there is comment or there are some comments.

Speaker 9 (01:02:10):
No, you're like you did, like the best thing you
could do is, uh, come on in, let's watch some TV.
I have at least the fact that you offered them food, right,
and you're like, this is the that's all you need
to do, Give them food, water, let them do their thing,
and like.

Speaker 4 (01:02:25):
Okay, you guys are good, good. Great.

Speaker 7 (01:02:27):
Comment number one says, not the a hole, but she is.

Speaker 6 (01:02:30):
Tell her the next time you'll call the police for
child abandonment since she dropped them off on a porch.
Comment number suit says, not the a hole. I understand
she had a legit and scary emergency, but she left
her kids on a porch with no evidence of anyone
being home, and you put your own comfort aside and
made sure her children were safe and fed, I might add,
which is the only thing that matters in situations like that.
She should have apologized and thank you and paid you,

(01:02:52):
like one does with teenage babysitters. Oh he says, I
kind of understand why she didn't pay me, since she
was going off the assumption that my grandma would be there,
who watches them for free. I'm really mostly upset about
the vegetarian thing because I'm not sure how I was
meant to ask if they could eat meat, which she
left them without a word or any instructions. Someone responds,
once she found out that you got stuck babysitting, she

(01:03:12):
should have paid you, or got you a gift card
or done something nice for you. You are not your grandmother.
Regardless of your attitude. You kept her kids safe. It
goes back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs when there's an emergency, food, shelter, safety,
all of which you provided. I don't eat any animal products,
and I'm on your side here with the chicken nuggets.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
You had no way of knowing.

Speaker 6 (01:03:31):
Nuggets and French fries are standard kit Fair, and you're
a teenager, and that would be something that you would cook.
And those children are old enough to tell you if
they don't eat something. You are still not the a hole.
But she coming number three, says that you did nothing wrong.
I would have gone off on old stacy as far
as I read you answered more politely than many people
would have. If you are female, please don't feel that

(01:03:52):
you should have some natural tendency to be able to
care for children. You get anxious around them, fine, don't
be near them. I get anxious with heights.

Speaker 7 (01:03:59):
Nothing wrong. There is an update. It is an overage.

Speaker 4 (01:04:04):
I mean those comments were really pretty much what we said.

Speaker 7 (01:04:07):
We all agree here, so onto the update.

Speaker 6 (01:04:09):
I ended up waiting for my parents to calm down
from work and decided to bring it up again, and
they were a lot more receptive. I explained my side
again and said that I would no longer babysit for
Stacy under any circumstances, and next time this happened, I
would be calling CPS for abandonment. My dad apologized for
insisting that I take a parenting course, but reiterated the
situation was an emergency and I should give Stacy more grace,
and my grandma said that she would talk to Stacy. Unsurprisingly,

(01:04:32):
Stacy didn't react well. She again said that she was
disgusted by how I treat people in a time of
need and criticize my grandma for raising me to be
so selfish. My grandma said that if she had an
issue with how she raised her grandchildren, Stacy shouldn't want
my grandma around her own kids either, and that she
was taking back the babysitting offer. Stacy didn't send a
text reply and came back to our porch and began

(01:04:53):
banging on the door demanding to talk to me. My
dad opened the door we have a glass screen which
was closed, and and said that if she didn't leave,
he would call the police and report her for pestermint
and child neglect. That was enough to get her to
leave after spitting on the glass screen.

Speaker 7 (01:05:10):
Bros.

Speaker 6 (01:05:10):
But Okay, a few hours have passed since then and
nobody has heard from or seen Stacy, So I think
this was finally done and overwidth and there are some
quick comments.

Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
He's one of those. He's a spitter.

Speaker 6 (01:05:21):
Spitter Yeah, actually the comment probably chicken, some chicken on
her door.

Speaker 4 (01:05:27):
Well, but we could take it on the kids. But
that's crazy, Gosh, that's crazy.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My best friend SECRETLY planned her wedding… the day before mine! - r/WeddingDrama | Reddit Stories