November 27, 2025 • 51 mins
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00:12 r/BorUpdates - [6] My boss (24M) is dating my ex (19F) and now I (19M) feel so uncomfortable and insecure at work.
16:47 r/BestofRedditorUpdates - I [23 M] found out through a friend that my girlfriend [21 F] of 3 years and her current best/childhood friend [21 M] dated for 4 years in high school. I'm ready to end things but am I overreacting?
44:53 r/okstorytime - HR coworker (45F) is obsessed with me (25F) and it's getting creepy
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
#reddit #funnyredditposts
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is am. This is John, your og Okay
Storytime podcast host, and we got.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Some delicious, juicy stories coming up.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,
just stick around for a two minute break with a
word from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
My boss is now dating my ex girlfriend. Did you
guys introduce them? My ex and I broke up around
four months ago after dating for a little over a year.
She was the one who broke up with me, but
at the time I agreed that it was for the best,
so we ended things on good terms. We're pretty chill
now and we have mutual friends so we often all
(00:33):
hang out together, so things between us are chill and friendly.
By the way, this comes from Throwaway a twenty two
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it and I'm Angie,
I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily,
But we don't have all the answers. We just know
what we would do in the situation. But let us
know what you would do in the comments. So Op says,
(00:54):
I work at a research lab at my university and
I just recently landed the position after a pretty long
and competitive application slash interviewing process. I met my boss,
who's a grad student, and we became buddies pretty fast.
He's a really nice and funny dude that knows what
he's doing. I see him every day since me and
the two other undergrads work under him and help with
his research while he helps us with our own. Fast
(01:16):
forward about two weeks and I see on my ex's
snapchot story a picture of my boss with a heart emoji. Hmmm, interesting.
I don't like that. I'm shocked as f so I
replied to her story, asking who her a new boy is,
and sure enough, she tells me she's dating my boss.
(01:37):
Wow if you got me, yeah, but you got me
back so good.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah, that's so insane. I feign happiness for her and
don't tell her that he's my boss or that I
know him in any way. Oh, so she doesn't know,
or it's possible that she doesn't know that this is
his Oh this is my chance. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
I thought I was gonna be premeditated me too, Okay,
like I'm gonna get you bad.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
And honestly, that makes it a little bit more just.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Like okay, then like it just kind of happened, happens
really awkward at work right now, in the like I'm
mad at you awkward way.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, dang mans, dang. I feel like someone just broke
my heart. I thought I didn't have feelings for her
after a breakup, and seeing her story hit me with
a pang of jealousy. Maybe it's because he's a major
step up for me. I'm a poor, disorganized undergrad and
he's a successful, young talent who has this crap together.
The next day at work, I'm basically on edge. The
(02:36):
whole day. I would look at my boss, remember that
he's dating my ex, and just feel uncomfortable. The rest
of the week was like that too. I stopped joking
around with him and kind of just stopped talking in general.
Now I dread seeing him every day because of the
fact that he's my boss, so he orders me around
just makes me feel crappier and more below him. He's
(02:57):
got the girl and I've got no. I still love
my job, though, and I worked so hard to get it,
so I'm not planning on leaving. I also feel like
a crappy person since my boss has been nothing less
than nice and is honestly a great guy. Now I
just feel like I should have tried harder in our
relationship because dang, she was pretty perfect in every way
and I just let it slip through. The other day,
(03:19):
she came over to have lunch with him during his
lunch break, and I saw them laughing together, and another
wave of sadness and jealousy. What do I even do now?
How do I stop feeling like this? How should I
normalize the situation at work? And there are some comments,
but what do you think, Carly? What would you do
if your boss?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Yeah, what would happen? What would you do?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
I don't like that.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
The implication is at this job, I would be worried
for Angie at that point.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
That's right because her boss is right technically.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Oh god, I mean, at least it's like you're not
dealing with your ex in the workplace. You're just dealing
with the person who's dating them. So I think I
just go to boss and I'd be like, hey, we
need to have some like strict boundaries, like I don't
want to know about my ex. I don't want to
know about your plans, Like yeah, don't tell me things
(04:23):
you're gonna have to go through that healing of being
okay with like seeing them at events potentially.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah, I mean she came to have lunch at work,
so it's like.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
It's like you're gonna have to be okay with that
kind of stuff. But I also don't think it's wrong
given the situation to be like, if she's gonna come
for lunch a lot, can you guys eat outside?
Speaker 5 (04:42):
Can you guys like go out to lunch? Like so
that I'm not seeing my.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Ex every single day because it's only been four months,
too great.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
And I feel like the boss is also not gonna
want her to come into the office or his ex
her exes every day. So I feel like it's gonna
be like a lot of this is probably gonna solve
itself kind of thing because it's gonna be like both
parties don't want her to.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Be like dealing with them kind of Yeah, yeah exactly. Yeah,
I feel like, no, yeah, I totally agree. It's just
so hard because it's like you already have to go
through that idea of like you're ex dating someone else
when you break up, but it's also kind of like
seeing it and then knowing the guy personally I'm trying
(05:27):
to think so rough.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, I'm trying to think of even like any friend
groups where I've had that weird overlap, Like, yeah, I
feel like eventually, some somehow, like someone just falls off
of the equation.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
So you're not dealing with it as much.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Kind of right, right, If my ex came in and
was dating Riley, that would be one very interesting because
we'd find out two people were not straight.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Very yeah. Right, Oh yeah, that's just that's a bummer, dude.
You're just getting thrown into the deep end of the
healing process and it might just have to deal with that. Sorry, man,
but there are some comments. I'm deleted says it means
you have to start dating again and focusing on your stuff.
(06:11):
The fact you are jealous is because you believe they
are doing better than you do at this moment when
you start dating again, if your ex girl still has
feelings for you, she would be the one at your
position right now. Opie says, yeah, that it's pretty close
to home. Killer creen five says he is not a
step up from you. I need you to know that
people aren't ranked. He's just a person with achievements and
failures and flaws. Just like you. He's young and maybe
(06:34):
not an effective manager. You said, he orders you around,
but try not to take it personally. He sees you
as a friend, coworker, subordinate threat to his relationship, and
also probably feels a bit awkward about the situation. As
another poster mentioned, he's dating someone significantly younger. When I
was twenty four, my friends and I would definitely make
fun of guys who dated nineteen year olds. There's just
a huge maturity difference at that age, especially for girls.
(06:57):
She's not perfect either, and it turns out you weren't
right for each other. Yeah, do we know their ages?
I didn't. I don't think I said their ages in here.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I can double changes.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, yeah, something about nineteen and twenty four, I guess perhaps.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
But how long they date a little over a year.
But at nineteen and twenty four.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
I think no Op and the girl are the same age.
I'm pretty sure. And then the boss maybe is a
little older. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
They were dating for over a year, little over a year.
It was nineteen No, No, they were just it was
like a thing of like, oh, when we were twenty
four and someone was dating a nineteen year old, We
would make fun of them kind of.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
The commenter mentioned something about age difference, but we don't
know their ages.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
We don't know their ages as of right now. Yeah,
no ages as of right now.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Yeah weird, Okay, I mean OPI said that, like the
boss is young, so I'm assuming it's not like that
crazy of an age difference, right, But if it is
twenty four to nineteen, I would make fun of them.
I would think that that's a little sketch. But I like,
you know whatever, don't try to be his best bud,
but try your best to forgive him and move on.
Focus on your work and yourself. You it worked so
(08:00):
hard to get this job, and it sounds like a
great thing that you have on your resume. It will
only make you miserable to dwell on it. And we
do have an update. We do have an update. But yeah,
I feel like the whole boss thing, it definitely isn't
personal having like a boss boss year round. It's like,
that's just kind of what's gonna happen, right.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
I could totally see though, that it could get personal,
like you could feel like it was personal.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Sure, when it's not, I wonder. Yeah, sorry, I don't no,
you're good.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Or like the boss could kind of take that power
a little bit and it can get personal.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah I would. I would be wary of the boss
getting like jealous or something and taking Angie. Ah. But yeah,
I feel like with you know, I wonder if you
could talk to your ex about it and be like, hey,
like this is just really awkward. Do you mind like
not coming over to the workplace or like, like, depending
(08:56):
on how I mean it's you said that they kind
of hang out because of mutual friends and stuff, So
maybe if.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
It's not able to then either way, like a conversation
amongst the parties involved needs to just be like laid out,
and then I feel like it'll be fine. Yeah, I
as long as no one gets like power to their heads, right, like.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Hopefully the new guy doesn't get jealous and starts right,
you know, getting wasted on power. But we do have
an update. For the past week, I've been trying to
focus on myself and my work and not care about
my ex and my boss who's dating her. It worked
pretty well. I started a painting and I'm pretty close
to finishing it, and I impressed my boss's boss, the
professor who owns the lab, not the one dating my ex,
(09:34):
by staying late for two days in a row to
finish a really difficult experiment. During our lab meeting, my
boss's boss shouted me out in front of the entire
lab and said that he was really impressed by my
hard work and dedication. Look at you go? What that
felt good? As for the situation with my boss and
my ex, he found out. Like I mentioned in my
previous post, when my ex told me who her new
(09:54):
boyfriend was, I didn't mention that he was my boss,
so neither of them knew. Two days ago, my boss
and us two other undergrads, we're in a conference room
discussing a paper when my ex came in. She came
to drop off my boss's wallet that I think he
forgot or something. Anyway, she saw me, did a double
take and went j J. She was definitely super surprised
(10:18):
and caught off guard, and her boss was already like
what the off? So I was just like, hey, Sarah.
She shot me another shocked, wide eyed look and left.
Suffice to say the rest of the meeting was pretty awkward.
The next day, it was obvious that my boss now
knew our history. Things just turned so awkward. He didn't
know how to act around me anymore or what to say.
(10:39):
Now we're both awkward around each other. He's still nice
and all, but things are just uncomfortable between us two.
It's not his fault, though. I think things will get
better between the two of us, But as of right now,
I actually feel kind of relieved that he now knows
something about how both of us now don't know how
to act and what to do. Kind of makes me
feel reassured. And there is actually quite a chunk le
(11:00):
to this this story. But Okay, they both know. Now
that's where we're at.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Sorry, Yeah, they both know.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
They both know. I wonder if they can have a
conversation about like how to act around each other just like.
I feel like that helps so much when people don't
know how to act, just be like, can act like
everything's normal, It's okay, it is what it is. You
can just be adults here.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
We're all adults. We're all mature.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Yeah, because I think they are, seems like we because
I think the awkwardness just comes from like not knowing
how the other person sees the situation, like if OP
is jealous or upset about it. Or if you know
the boss is threatened or something like that, Like they
don't know, so they don't want to like ruffle any
feathers or anything like that. But just just you have
a small two sentence conversation about it.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
And you're Gooday it all out real quick.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Yeah, but there is quite a bit more. Sarah also
called me the night she found out I worked there,
but I missed her call and for ought to call back.
It's good, though, I've been trying to think of her
lesson distance myself a bit. But if things continue to
remain really awkward to the point where both of our
work is affected, I'll consider talking to my boss's boss
about switching me to work under another grad student instead.
But yeah, that's about all again. Thanks for the help
(12:11):
you guys. And there are some comments. Let me see
which ones are good. Okay. One commentor says, I'm actually
sort of glad you didn't answer your ex's phone call
or return it. I cannot imagine, for the life of
me any usefulness to that conversation. I mean, did she
not know anything about the department you were in at
school or the likelihood of seeing you if she kept
her dating pool there in my humble opinion, you really
(12:33):
demonstrated an ability to be above drama by not immediately
telling your boss or Sarah about your previous work slash
romantic relationship, and I'm super stoked that instead you just
focused on work and got praised by your boss's boss.
Good for you, Opie says, Actually me too. We're still
friends and all, but I think I really need to
put some distance between us and focus on myself for now.
(12:54):
I'm glad I missed the call too. I applied for
the job after we broke up and never mentioned it
to her, so I guess he never found out. Thanks
for the support. That's good clarification. Yeah, that makes sense then, Yeah,
Observant Barracuda says, you should clear up the awkwardness at work.
Go to your boss and tell him. I guess you
know that Sarah and I dated. I hope that won't
affect our working relationship. Opie says, I thought about doing
(13:15):
that too, but it's been only a day since he
found out, so I'll give it some time. But if
it gets worse over the next week, I'll consider it.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
I would do that. Yeah, don't don't like wait and
consider this. I would make that a plan, and I
would make that by the end.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Of the week. Yeah, I think it's totally fine to
do it. It's weird and later on it Yeah, yeah, exactly,
hopefully that's what OPI did. But yeah, I feel like
if you just say too, like, yeah, we dated, like
we ended on good terms, so like, don't even worry
about it, no hard feelings, man. Yeah, it's been like
a few months, so you're good. Tame Volie says, If anything,
(13:48):
your boss probably feels embarrassed that he's dating the girl
that his nineteen year old subordinate dated. That probably feels
slightly emasculating to him. If he enjoyed feeling powerful over you,
the he has got your leftover's mentality. If you will
you sounds like you're crushing it and doing everything right.
Keep the positive attitude and hard work. Thanks for the update, op,
He says, Oh, dagg, I never thought about it that way,
(14:10):
but that makes sense. But the dude's a nice guy
and I don't want to hate on him. But yeah,
I honestly don't even know how they met and got together. Haha.
Undergrads are usually pretty separated from all the grad students
at our school, and thank you bar Soap guy says
Op should bring in some food that he made from
the night before and then offer it to his boss, saying, Hey,
I heard you like leftovers. Want to try this you.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
I think that's supposed to be a joke, but it is.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
I hate a bad joke. On advice website, Op says, Olaoh,
that would be so funny.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
No, woun't not talking about our feelings like adults would
be so and so chill and so great.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Put yourself in your boss's shoes.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Not I'd be like, okay, hr, Honestly, what the heck?
Also not a fan of calling girls leftovers if they've
just dated someone else before. Not a fan. Get over yourself.
Commenter YEP. Singer Bell says, I'm glad you're doing better,
But if he's working at the university with you and
your extend, then it is one hundred percent his fault
that he's running into awkward social situations when he dates undergrads.
(15:12):
Even if she isn't a student. She's nineteen, so I
guess they are. We do have their ages. Okay, they're nineteen,
I think the guy must be twenty four. Yeah, and
they dated for a year. Not the twenty four or
nineteen year olds Opie and op and the girlfriend are
nineteen twenty four five? Yeah, okay, okay, yep, yeah, I
thought Ope was the twenty four Yeah. So they're working
at the like school lab. So I'm guessing like the
(15:33):
twenty four old used to go to that school and
then is like a boss there now or something, or
getting his master's. It's a bit older though, the opin
wait wait wait, wait, yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know.
We're getting our info from other concerts manner. Who does
he think she socializes with at that age? Only in
professors and researchers. Opie says, thanks, he's actually a second
(15:54):
year grad student at the same university and just works
as a researcher at my lab. I have no idea
how they got together. That my guess is dating ups.
I'm thinking that's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
I just it sounded like op was so far out
of college already from like I'm working at a lab
that I was like, are you older?
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Oh no, no, no, he said, yeah, no, he said a
lab at the university.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Right, but that's the end of that story.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, I feel like, honestly.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
From what we thought the title was gonna be about though,
like way easier situation.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Honestly, like it really did seem like it was like
a sabotage or revenge type thing. But this seems just
like an awkward accident. Did we get a location? Were
they in the US? They were saying university, yea, so
could be could be anywhere, but not sure. Not sure.
(16:43):
But that's the end of that story. We've got another
one coming right up.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I discovered my girlfriend's lies about her male best friend
fire liear pants on fire trigger.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Running for essay.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
I twenty three mail met Nicole, one female, three years ago,
around my second year of college. I'm from out of
state and I received a full scholarship to the university
that we're currently at, so I didn't have any friends
at the time. She was nice and took interest in
me pretty quickly and we started dating.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
By the way, this comes from three years a lie.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay Storytime, suprendit.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
I'm Carly, I'm Angie, I'm Keon, and we're here to
give good advice. Goofiy. But we don't have all the answers.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
We only know what we would do, so let's know
what you would do in the comments, and Opie says
she's told me from the beginning that she had been
best friends with this guy, Adam twenty one male, since
they were little, and that they were very close and
their families were close.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I was fine with it at the time.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
I'm not really a jealous person, and I'm pretty laid back.
Adam seemed like a nice guy, and I thought, who
am I to really tell her who she can and
can't be friends with. Anyways, they have been close even
through the relationship. They go one trip together with their families,
they study together, have a few classes together, go to dinner.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Or lunch, and have even stayed the.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Night at each other's apartments. Ro raggy.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
They're just BFFs. They're just you know, having fun late
night talks.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, just really really good friend.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Just the local gossip, you know, the hot goss.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Yeah, uh, you know it.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
There was so many things listed there that I would
be way uncomfortable with. Totally well made that last apartments one, right,
It was weird at first, but I trusted her as
well as him.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Honestly.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
She always told me ahead of time, so I felt like.
It was fine, not ideal. It never really affected our relationship.
We spent time together. I had a great connection and
all that good stuff. Nicole and Adam left on Sunday
they finished finals early or something like that to head
down to their family's beach house about four hours away
from campus. They did invite me, but I have some
(18:59):
finals and then I have a summer course starting nearly
immediately after my finals, so I declined so that I
could prep for my final two courses before I graduate.
I met up in the library with one of her
friends in my web design class to put some finishing
touches on our final project. We got on the topic
of relationships and she was telling me about how when
she started dating her current boyfriend, she made him cut
(19:22):
all contact with his ex girlfriend, even though the ex
wanted to remain close. She asked me why I didn't
do the same, and I was confused. I didn't understand
what she meant. And then she explained and showed me
proof that Nicole and Adam dated throughout high school.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
No why they also went to prom together?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
No, not prom.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Hold on, this is very crazy because I know of
a couple who actually dated in high school. And there's
still like BFFs and everything. But then the guy was like,
he became gay, he was gay. He just he's like,
I don't but they be like still best they're still
best friends now to this day.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
I think he's probably the whole time realized it.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah yeah, well I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I'm just laughing at you became gay.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
He became gay. I knew what you meant, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
I knew what she meant, but I just like clarification
for you because I love you.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Don't give it that look.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
You do it to me all the time.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
And chat is all witnesses, all witnesses.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
That's crazy. Yeah no, I mean where they chill that happened.
Were they chill after that?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, they're very chill.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
I don't think he's going to be gay in this one.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
I think he is.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
I think that lies to come up.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Oh he is a woman, yes, yes, this is he's
a man.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Oh he's dating a woman and that woman is best
friends with a man.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I see I thought this was no man. Okay, okay, okay, okay,
But so this man has a girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Opie has a girlfriend. Yes, that girlfriends may best friend. Okay,
she dated in high school and went to prom with
and he did not know, and that's who she's staying
over at his house and doing all these like seemingly
daty things with. But he's like, but they never dated.
They've just been like Bestie's fruit life, right, and now
her female friend is like, I'm shocked that you would
(21:18):
let like your girlfriends still hang out with her ex.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
And he was like, she's not hanging out with her ex.
She's hanging out with like her long time.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Now.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
It's like, and she's like, actually the receipts.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
I thought it was like the guy's girlfriend or something
like that was Opie was out of the two best
friends girl. I thought it was like, oh, she's the
guy's girlfriend. But wrong, I'm wrong.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
I was pretty lost as to what to do or
how to feel.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
I found out yesterday and all I could think was
that Adam could potentially be screwing my girlfriend at this
very moment. I trust her, or trusted her, but I've
never seen exes hang out and be as buddy buddy
as them without hooking up before. As dense as it sounds,
I almost I can't wrap my head around their level
of closeness and not doing it. I talked to my
(22:04):
older sister, and she told me I had to calm
down and that maybe there was a reason they never
said anything. She said, if I trusted Nicole before knowing,
she didn't see why I would suddenly accuse her otherwise,
I will say, I feel like that comes in of
the part of like, yeah, you didn't lie to me,
but you omitted like a really big truth.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah, totally. It's like, well, why you would hide that? Yeah? Yeah,
because I feel like if I, like, I feel like
it would just be right to kind of like let
them know, just like hey, by the way, like I
just want to go out there. We we dated for
a while in high school. High school thing, but it's
like totally over. This is how it is now. Yeah,
(22:45):
but like we're still friends, and it's like, ChIL, I
just don't want you to worry, you know. Yeah, Yeah
that's simple. Yeah, save all this like super nonchalant.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Spiraling that ope's about to go.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
She said, If I trusted Nicole before knowing, she didn't
see why I would suddenly accuse her otherwise, even if
her best friend is her ex. But I feel like
that logic is so flawed because My entire foundation of
trust for this relationship stemmed from the fact that Adam
was her childhood best friend, not her ex. Honestly, if
(23:16):
she would have told me before we started dating, I
think I probably would have walked away from the relationship.
She's a great and nice girl, but getting with someone
who is still so heavily involved with their ex is
a roller coaster. I don't think I would have ever
willingly signed up for Am.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
I thinking about this the wrong way.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Is it crazy that I'm already considering ending the relationship
over this, whether she cheated or not. I haven't brought
it up to her yet. I want to talk in
person rather than on the phone. I'm going to hide
the fact that I know until she comes back to
campus on.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Friday to spend my Birthday weekend with me.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
But I don't see any logical explanation that will keep
me committed, except for the one that Kean said. We
have some comments, but uh, any advice before we get
into this.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah, I mean, I think it's interesting. I wasn't expecting
him to say that, like he would have walked away
from the relationship if he knew right away. I thought
he was about to say like I would have been
fine with it if if she told me straight up,
like at the beginning of our relationship. But I mean,
I guess some people some people I guess are just
not comfortable with that. But but yeah, it just it
(24:23):
is very suspicious. It is very suspicious. Yeah, I think
I'd just be like, why didn't you tell me?
Speaker 4 (24:29):
Like this is really weird and uncomfortable, Like, and they're
early in college, so it's not like this is the
high school relationship. It's pretty recently. Yeah, this was so
forever ago in the past maybe, but right right, because
it's like it's like a couple of years old, potentially
gay went to prom.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
This is like less than four years yeah, yeah, and
if it was all throughout high school, it's like that.
I feel like the further you get away from high
school relationships like that, it's like, okay, right, it was
a long time, but like in high school everything seems
like so much longer. But yeah, if it's so recent,
then they probably still recognize it as like a long
time and like super meaningful, so weird. I also want
(25:08):
to know why they broke up. I feel like that's important.
That is important too.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I'm curious relevant comments empty Whiteboard. The lying is problematic.
I made a comment already detailing what I think the
lying was done for. But the lying is the crux
of the issue. Your trust is shattered and if you
pit yourself up against Adam, I am positive she will
choose Adam over you every single time. That is the
(25:31):
real crux. Now, before you thought that you would be
a bigger priority than him, it never had to be
that way because of the history as you understood it.
Now that you know the truth, it will either be
something you get over after hearing her reasons, which I
detailed in another comment, I would bet money on it,
or you push and she chooses Adam over you. Lastly,
(25:52):
you could try to get over it and just not
be able to. I would personally find it very hard
to be okay with their friendship after this lie, OPI responds.
The lying is what really makes me just want to
leave altogether, not only her lying, but his lying, as
well as their families. I've met all of them, and
none of them have ever said a word about it,
though maybe their families don't know. Emotionally invested or not,
(26:15):
I'd never be up for having her pick between Adam
or myself. I'm not that type of person. Those ultimatums,
in my opinion, never result in anything but more issues. Also,
they do have a lot of history and families are connected.
I feel like I'm the one and the wrong for
even stepping into her life. I've been thinking about this
too much.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Although I should be studying instead.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
But I feel like it's either she's loyal and faithful
but I knew I wouldn't have even begun a relationship
with her in the first place, or she's hooking up
occasionally or something like friends with benefits.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Either way, I see it as a wrong.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
If she's loyal, which honestly I think might be the case,
then it's wrong of her to omit information and manipulate
my choice to begin dating her in the first place.
If I had any skeletons in my closet, I would
be open and clear about it before I engage in
a relationship with someone, letting them make a clear and
honest decision about it it was a deal breaker or not.
(27:10):
As for getting over it, I don't think I can,
or even if I can, I feel like it's almost
not worth the effort. I feel like it's going to
mess with the dynamic of our relationship, and then I
have to deal with her feeling guilty or always having
to check in with me, or sending Adam to talk,
or any of the other.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
Stuff that I don't even want to have to deal with.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I'm probably saying this out of convenience, but once I
finished this summer semester, I'll be done. I could have
a clean break, move back home with my parents for
a few months, and move on with my life.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
We have an update three days later. I mean, Okay,
I feel like if you knew this at the beginning
of the relationship, and just knowing that at the beginning
would make you walk away. I feel like you should
just walk away, Like I feel like, yeah, because you
know it now, Yeah, you know it now. It seems
(28:02):
like he's trying to make up his mind.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Well I think he's just like, do I bother getting
the reasons that they're still friends?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (28:09):
Or do I just be like nope, can't get over
it now?
Speaker 3 (28:11):
By I feel like you should do that one. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I mean, well, okay, I feel like you can get
the reasons anyway, but ultimately I think you're gonna leave still.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Update three days later, whoa Nicole showed up Thursday night
after my exams to surprise me for my birthday weekend.
We hung out and talked, and I tried my best
to just be normal with her. When I asked her
about Adam, she was extremely reluctant and borderline defensive to
even discuss it.
Speaker 5 (28:37):
You'd never brought it up before, or why do you
want to know about it now?
Speaker 4 (28:40):
When she realized I wasn't dropping it, she pretty much
broke down and.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Told me everything. Oh Man.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
Adam was the one who convinced her not to tell
me about their past relationship. The last few guys she
dated were scared off by her being best friends with
her ex, and he didn't want me to leave in
the same way. It was only so supposed to be
for a little while. She didn't plan on staying that
close to Adam while being in a relationship. Adam's dad
was in the process of getting a promotion when Nicole
(29:09):
and I started dating, which would move him and his
family to the Midwest, but the promotion fell through. She
said Adam became more direct once he found out he
wasn't leaving, constantly insisting that she hang out with him
without me even to the point where she would be
canceling plans with me. For most people, I'm sure that
would have been a red flag. But I've been taking
(29:30):
six to seven course semesters.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Where's Riley? Oh my gosh, Riley are.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
You watching six seven mentioned for the past two years
in attempts to graduate early and get the most out
of my scholarship. If I wasn't studying or with Nicole,
I always had a million other things to catch up on.
She blamed me for not setting boundaries or being more
strict with her, which led her to become comfortable with
her freedom with him. No, wow, Yeah, I can't blame someone.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Else for your dirty, dirty cheating. Yeah, absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
You should have told me straight out that I couldn't
cheat on you, right, You should have told me I
couldn't have spend more time with the guy.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Yeah, it's your fault that I slept at his house.
You weren't telling me to come home.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
Right, It's like, uh huh, Well, maybe you should have
told me the information that you used to date him.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Yeah, come on, dude, come on, John here og host.
We're gonna get back to these stories. But a quick
three minute break from as for more sponsors.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
Adam still had really strong feelings for her, though she
said she didn't feel the same way about him. She
admitted that Adam grew to resent me and became very
jealous of our relationship and how effortlessly happy I made
her feel. She told me she never cheated on me,
despite Adam's advances and flirtation, and yet somehow I feel
as though you staying in his room counts. I feel
(30:56):
like knowing that making advances, I feel like staying over
at his apartment counts.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
I do not trusts emotion. When you say that you
didn't cheat, you know if you're staying over.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
At this point, she was crying and desperate, begging for
forgiveness and promising to cut all ties with Adam. She
swore she wouldn't ever talk to him or hang out
with him again. She told me I was the only
person she wanted to spend her life with, and poured
out a bunch of other ridiculousness I could hardly even
listen to. I was angry and probably didn't phrase it
the way I should have, but I told her it
(31:30):
was the perpetual lying and deceitfulness that had me so angry,
and that was the reason I was breaking up with her.
That's pretty much how it ended, with me telling her
she could leave. Adam sent me some hateful texts, which
I ignored. Yesterday night, I was an emotional wreck. I
felt ashamed and angry at myself for crying over someone
(31:50):
so stupid. But this morning I didn't feel nearly as
bad as I expected. I spoke to my best friend
and he helped me put it into perspective. I'm going
home tonight for my birth up a weekend, and then
I'll just focusing on finishing school and finding a job.
I'm glad it's over, and even more glad I don't
live in this state anymore.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
We have some comments, first one being a down voted comment.
So interesting, let's read it.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
So. There's no time frame on when Adam found out
that he wasn't leaving. It could have been way more recent.
You have no idea how she rebuked his advances or
what their conversations were like. She could have rebuked him
several times and didn't want to bring it up with
her boyfriend because it would just be unnecessary drama in
her life since she no longer saw Adam that way.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Where I can.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
See being upset breaking up with her over it just
seems really extreme, especially since when she one comes clean
and two admit she was wrong, and three is willing
to fix it. Do people not get second chances anymore?
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Is that just not a thing that is done?
Speaker 3 (32:47):
No? Three years in That was from Adam. Adam made
that comment.
Speaker 6 (32:52):
She I'm a man of second chances, but if you
were lying to me for three years and yeah, dude,
I don't know, that's.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Second chances on cheating. Yeah, like, second chances are chill,
but not in every situation. Yeah, like come on. Op
expands on the timeline.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
When I first found out about her and her best
friend being excess from high school.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
I was ready to end it immediately.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
I was upset that I got lied to, and even
more angry that I had to hear it from a
friend and not from her. I took some time and
thought about it, and before I spoke with her last night,
I was fully willing to forgive her if her reasoning was.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
To avoid drama.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
I do believe in second chances, but trust is hard
to win back. Adam found out six months into my
relationship with her that his dad wasn't getting promoted that's
basically two and a half years for Nicole to take
responsibility and separate herself from him, especially if he liked her,
whether she felt the same way or not. In my eyes,
it's wrong to keep hanging out and sleeping over with
(33:52):
someone who has such strong feelings for you when you
have a significant other. She only came clean after I
confronted her. Her land was to never tell me.
Speaker 5 (34:01):
After the year mark, she admitted she realized she was
into deep.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
And that was the only way.
Speaker 5 (34:07):
She blamed me for everything, saying it was my fault
for not setting boundaries, for trusting her decision making skills,
and for not recognizing what was appropriate. She only wanted
to fix it once she realized I was one hundred
percent done with the relationship.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
She tried to guilt me, as if her hiding this
and me not playing detective was my fault, even if
I was willing to forgive her. Our relationship dynamic is ruined.
I don't want to be the controlling boyfriend and I
can't be with someone I don't trust. And we have
some vital information from Ope courtesy of Queen Levine. Sounds
like she really likes you and she wants to try
(34:42):
to make it work. The thing about it is that
I really liked her as well. I wanted to.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Make it work more than anything in the world. I
really did.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
It's something that I couldn't really convey in my post
is that I always saw this girl as.
Speaker 5 (34:55):
Like my escape away from everything.
Speaker 4 (34:57):
I've been in study mode since I was eighteen, and
I haven't really had much time for the simple things
in life, like hanging out with a girlfriend or going
out to parties or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
I didn't want a.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
Relationship at first because I didn't think I would have
the time or be able to time manage properly when
I was busy. I always encourage her to have fun
with other friends. There was a mutual trust there, especially
with Adam. It was rough at first, but eventually she
convinced me nothing would happen between them and that he
was just a childhood friend. But I made it explicitly
(35:28):
clear way back when we started dating. She had concerns
about her freedom and being able to do as she wanted,
and she wanted to know why I trusted her since
her other boyfriends didn't and gave her so much space.
And I told her that I had no reason not
to trust her. She's my girlfriend, after all. All I
ask is that you tell me the truth, even if
it'll hurt my feelings or get me upset. I realized
(35:49):
my school schedule is an ideal, but I think we
can work through just about anything. But I don't think
people owe their significant other their entire dating history, including
the people you know, and I strongly disagree with this statement.
If you guys have mutual friends that when disclosing pasts
are the most important, Especially when you don't disclose your
past with someone because you'll know it'll alter their decisions
(36:11):
and other aspects of your relationship. That's not cool on
a bunch of levels. Omitted to tell someone about a
neighbor who you slept with three years ago isn't the
same as keeping an ex under your significant other's nose.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Maybe if her and Adam saw.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Each other occasionally or weekly or monthly, it wouldn't have
been a big deal, But were hanging out with someone
pretty much four to five times a week, it becomes
a problem. You owe it to your significant other to
tell them about people you interact with often. Maybe you're
different than me and have yourself and your relationship with
your significant other all figured out. But that's a really
(36:45):
big deal in my book, she's being honest about everything
that's happened during your relationship. I could no longer trust
what happened during our relationship. I didn't know what was
truth and what was alive. However, I spoke with her
today and she actually came to visit me in my
apartment unannounced, and although we are broken up, she felt
the need to tell me more about it. She apologized
on how she acted, letting her disappointment, shamefulness, and guilt
(37:08):
get the better of her. She apologized for Adam's text
messages and some other things she did. But she did
in fact cheat on me day day the truth comes out,
ah Man, who saw that one coming? Not me?
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Really? No, it was very obvious. I was like, Angie, what,
I'm blind? But she didn't fact cheat on me.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
It happened two different occasions throughout different parts of our relationship.
Every occasion mixed with booze and then being alone for
the night, all initiated by Adam. I don't like that
it was all mixed with booze and initiated by him.
The same suspicious our legs back legs are back, Hello,
legs legless.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
You should be.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
They also have kissed, or, as she told me, Adam
would kiss her.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
Frequently on the lips, taking advantage of her. Oh, hang on,
hang on, what row new information? Bad new information, very
bad new information. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie too, Like
that changes the terms she cheated on me for me? Yeah,
because it's like, yes, she did, and I do think
(38:25):
she's still withheld stuff and there was a lot of
that kind of stuff, and I'm sure she didn't necessarily
maybe realize what was happening or like.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
All right, you guys, I need to think and process it. No,
I agree. I think she was.
Speaker 4 (38:39):
Being taken advantage of, Like you don't want to be like,
yeah she yes, she one percent still cheated. But this
adds like a whole new spin of like, well, Adam's
an icky, yucky person.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Yeah, because I wonder because some of the situation seemed consensual,
I thought, but with that information, like it very well
could be that reading was not.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
The stuff that is consensual was mixed with booze them
being alone and initiated by Adam that is, which then
really sounds a lot less consensual.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Yeah, it does. So it's like I honestly wouldn't even
call that cheating then, and she probably is calling it
that because she feels guilty, and you know, there's obviously
so much, like I.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Think, the guilt and the like shame of it, which
she doesn't need to have. I think that it could
have come forward and told her boyfriend about all this,
like right, maybe they could have worked through it. There
was still that like lying in admitting of truth, but
that changes things a lot.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Yeah, it totally does. I wonder how op he feels
about that.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Okay, I'm just gonna keep reading, guys. Yeah, my brain's
not gonna process this one.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
So based off that alone, I'm two thousand percent done.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
Ah, not our favorite way to deal with that. Yeah,
I had my doubts.
Speaker 4 (39:53):
You know, maybe she really did just lie about them
being exes. But when she confirmed that she cheated, that's
when I knew I made the right decision to move on.
Has it been a rollercoaster it? Did it affect your
relationship in any way before you found out?
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I'm assuming this is a comment trask.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
All for this, All I can say is that ignorance
is bliss. Looking back on it now, I can vividly
see periods that would have made me question everything, freedoms
and things that I was okay with.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
I would have freaked over.
Speaker 5 (40:21):
Letting her sleep at his house was a big deal.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
Having to split my limited free time up with him
was a huge issue for me. Despite the cheating and lying,
I do care for her, but I can never be
with her again. She either has to date Adam or
get the f away from him. She used to get
the f away from him, definitely. Oh, I just had
a thought and it just like I basically I feel like, one,
(40:44):
you can still end this relationship. Like no one is
ever saying like, because it happened in this way, you
have to stay in this relationship. But I feel like
that changes enough things that you can like, I don't know,
it doesn't have to be like you don't have to
be like and she like like, I'm not sure she
cheated on you, my dude, Like, honestly, I think by
a technicality she did.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
I think it depends on your definition of cheating, yea,
because some you know, people have different definitions. I feel like,
you know, some people think holding hands is cheating or
something like that, or kissing isn't cheating, you know, I
think my definition would be like if you would be
consciously cheating, Like if something is just you were in
a relationship and something just like happened to you against
(41:25):
your will and without your consent, I feel like I
would not blame my partner for that at all. Cheating
to me, Yeah, at all. Yeah, that's why I'm.
Speaker 4 (41:33):
Like, I don't know if she realizes if Yeah, like
the way that she's saying it, I want to be
like like, are you okay? And yeah, I'm like, let's
not because I'm not sure that you cheated, And I
don't think we need to jump right to that.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
I need to jump to like are you okay? Totally? Totally.
I think maybe the relationship should still end based on
how you are acting. I don't actually, I don't think
she should have you in her life, but.
Speaker 4 (41:59):
I think she should get some help and yeah, get
away from him.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
She needs to be away from Adam.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
Yeah, yeah, she either has to date Adam or get
the f away from him. But that's not something I
can be a part of right now. Like I told
someone else before I leave back to my hometown for good.
Maybe I'll sit down with her and give her a
new perspective on things. No, stop, No, I don't like
your perspective on things, op, not at all. But right
now she can learn on her own and that's the
(42:25):
end of that story.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
Hikes, dude, I don't like Uope yikes, sang wow the
man in that story. Yeah, geez, yeah, I think I Yeah,
I still stand by I don't think you guys should
be together because I don't think you should be in
a relationship with her. I think, uh I it sucks though,
because even with that, she's gonna take out so hard
and so yeah, like internally, like she if she already
(42:50):
like if she had been with past boyfriends who didn't
like that she was best friends with her ex and
broke up with her because of that, and now she's
in this relationship, and now it's a problem that she
kept it secret, right, she's already probably yeah, she's already
probably like stressed and confused about that. And then of
course you know the factor of the essay, and it's
like that's huge and she's probably thinking so much guilt
(43:13):
there exactly. So it's just so many layers to this
this problem, and I feel so bad for her.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Yeah, I'm I'm concerned for the level of coercion and
like control that Adam has over her.
Speaker 3 (43:25):
Totally that she's not realizing.
Speaker 4 (43:28):
Oh, he's not going to realize because she's not able
to tell him right right.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
The fact that he was like you have to hide
this from Yeah, he convinced her to do that. That
already is like a raisin, a red flag of their dynamic.
So I also want to I do still want to
know why they broke up initially, like if they broke up,
but Adam still you know, has this hold on her
and wants to use her, Like I wonder.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
It sounded like whatever it was, she ended things with
Adam okay, which is because it was like Adam's still
in love with her, She's doesn't want anything to do
with him, is what the original?
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Yeah? Yeah, I mean obviously she doesn't want I would
not blame her for not wanting anything to do with
him after he's doing this stuff. Ikey iky ach ikey
ikey ikey. I really hope that she is okay now.
Speaker 5 (44:16):
I hope somewhere else there with Adam.
Speaker 4 (44:18):
Yeah, I hope someone She felt comfortable enough to go
to someone and not.
Speaker 5 (44:24):
Feel shame for something that she should not feel shame about.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
At all and then she can get help. Hopefully, we're
just gonna pretend that that's what happened. Now we're just
going happy endings.
Speaker 4 (44:35):
Adam got all the bad karma he deserves and so
did Ope.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Honestly, just for those comments at the end, Yeah, didn't
like it. Didn't like it, but you know what I
do like the fact that we've gotten another story coming up.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Hey, it's sam og Host. We're get it back to
these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from
our sponsors to help support the show.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
My HR boss is obsessed with my life.
Speaker 5 (44:56):
It's not a very good HR boss.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
Hi, but let me tell you about how my HR
coworker became obsessed with me. I need to get this
off my chest because I don't know if I'm overreacting
anymore or if this has really turned into a weird
level of obsession. My name is Claudia, I'm twenty five, female,
and I work at a company where, unfortunately, professionalism seems
to be absent. What started as something small has spiraled
into something creepy. And by the way, this comes from
(45:21):
deleted And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay, story time is Supreddit
and I'm Angie.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
Here to give good advice goofully, but we don't have
all the answers. We're just gonna guess what we would
do in this situation. But let us know what you
would do in the comments. So Opie says. It all
began when a colleague, my age, Victor, twenty five male,
showed interest in me. I have a boyfriend, so I
turned him down lately, professionally and without any drama. But
his ego didn't handle the rejection well. He sulked to
(45:51):
act a distant and spent a solid week behaving like
a teenager who had just been left on red. Eventually,
he seemed to move on, but unfortunately, the drama didn't
end there. That's when Addison, a forty five year old
woman who works in HR, started showing interest in Victor.
Since she had told half of the office that he
liked me, Addison decided that she hated me for no reason.
(46:15):
I have never had any problems with her before, but
suddenly she was giving me dirty looks, ignoring me, or
being outright rude without any explanation. I could have stopped
there and just been a petty office situation, but no,
it escalated into something straight up creepy. I have a
very defined personal style. I think think preppy, dark academia,
(46:35):
long dresses, boots, tights, layers, and a yellow umbrella that
I carry because I'm a huge How I'm at your
Mother fan.
Speaker 5 (46:42):
You carry an umbrella even when it's not raining.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
I suppose has anyone seen How I'm at your Mother?
Speaker 4 (46:46):
No? I know there's a yellow umbrella, but just carry
it all the time, all the time.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
That's so funny. I also had blonde hair until recently,
when I died it a rich brown, got long extensions,
and added a wispy fringe. Addison, who was always had
short orange hair and dressed in plain jeans, suddenly showed
up with brown hair dyed to match mine. Identical long extensions, bangs,
and even the same yellow umbrella. That's wild. Behab That
(47:14):
is wild. Yellow umbrella is not something that everyone.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
She also likes How I met your mother?
Speaker 3 (47:18):
That's all guys, just each other. Just watched it exactly,
watched it, watch watched it. She began copying my outfits, boots, tights, skirts,
the whole look I'm not exaggerating when I say people
noticed immediately. At least You're not the only one then
that noticed. I feel like I was expecting you to
(47:39):
be the only one and everyone was just like, I
don't know.
Speaker 5 (47:41):
She loo hair brown. Yeah, that was the problem.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
But it didn't stop there. She started spreading lies about me,
flaunting swimsuit pictures of herself in front of Victor's friends
right where I could see, and loudly laughing or touching
Victor's face whenever I walked by.
Speaker 4 (47:58):
I even like Victor though, yeah, what is this doing?
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Victor just likes ope, like, calm, calm down, weird.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
I would be like, could I reach out to HR?
But you can't You're HR?
Speaker 3 (48:12):
Yeah, can I get a new HR? It felt like
high school drama, except for adults in an office. And
to top it off, she stalks me online, Oh my god,
I've caught her on my TikTok and LinkedIn repeatedly. Even
after I blocked her, fake accounts kept popping up, all
linked back to the same email patterns. Classic. It was unsettling,
(48:33):
to say the least. I've tried to remain professional through
all of this. I don't want to stir up any
unnecessary drama, but she constantly throws passive aggressive comments my way.
She claims, I don't do any real work, even though
I'm literally one of the most needed people in the company.
Flex She talks loudly about her spicy sleep life inappropriate,
especially whenever Victor is nearby, making it clear she wants
(48:54):
me to hear it. Just search. Okay, story time, and
there is a little bit more to the story. But yeah,
this is very clear. What is happening.
Speaker 6 (49:01):
Yikes, I say you got to reach out to someone,
like a higher up or something like this.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
This is not you gotta go past HR? Yeah? Is
there are there more people in HR?
Speaker 2 (49:14):
Is there?
Speaker 3 (49:16):
I feel like h for this HR. I feel like
HR would be like, you know, usually more than one person,
although I guess in the office it was just Toby. Yeah,
actually they higher up though. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure.
Speaker 5 (49:27):
I'm sure things can get escalated past AGR.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
Yeah, yeah, go there definitely there is a little bit
more to the story. What makes us worse is that
Addison has already engaged in harmful behavior with other coworkers.
Several people have quit because they couldn't handle her. Oh
my gosh. One younger colleague, Ali, twenty four, female, lost
her grandmother and asked her a couple of days off
to attend the hospital and then the funeral. Addison, showing
(49:51):
no empathy, told her that she didn't believe her. Alie
ended up resigning shortly afterwards, completely devastated. Nobody dares confront
Addison because as HR, she holds power and people prefer
to avoid conflict. So now I'm stuck in this toxic loop.
I love my job, I'm good at it, but I
constantly feel watched, harassed, and disrespected, and since the problem
(50:14):
is HR itself, I don't even have a safe place
to report it. At this point, I don't know whether
to laugh, cry, or just start dressing differently every week
to see if she keeps trying to copy me. And
that is the end of that story.
Speaker 4 (50:25):
But yeah, yeah, yee, yeah, escalate that totally.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
That's wild, I know. Yeah, definitely talk to your boss, yeah,
for sure, because I'm sure there's like a manager of
your department. They can help you gun around HR. Yeah,
because I feel like in a lot of workplaces anyway,
it's kind of like you can talk to the boss anyway,
and then they might like refer you to HR, but
like you can definitely heard of them first.
Speaker 4 (50:48):
Yeah, there's no way that HR is holding all the
power in this company totally, which would be just like
a crazy way.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
It makes you think of like Game of Thrones. It's
like you don't have to be on the throne to
have power.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
All right, little finger, calm down.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
No, it's okay. I feel like she does that pretty
early on. But anyway, Yeah, that's the in that story.
That's I'm honestly relieved that other people notice that she's copying. Yeah,
me too.
Speaker 5 (51:15):
So yellow umbrella is such an easy giveaway, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
It's like it's, first of all, it's already weird that
you're doing that, so it's like extra weird. If someone
else does that, people will notice. People will notice. So
if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love
you and see you tomorrow.
Hey, this is am. This is John, your og Okay
Storytime podcast host, and we got.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Some delicious, juicy stories coming up.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,
just stick around for a two minute break with a
word from our sponsors.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
My boss is now dating my ex girlfriend. Did you
guys introduce them? My ex and I broke up around
four months ago after dating for a little over a year.
She was the one who broke up with me, but
at the time I agreed that it was for the best,
so we ended things on good terms. We're pretty chill
now and we have mutual friends so we often all
(00:33):
hang out together, so things between us are chill and friendly.
By the way, this comes from Throwaway a twenty two
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it and I'm Angie,
I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily,
But we don't have all the answers. We just know
what we would do in the situation. But let us
know what you would do in the comments. So Op says,
(00:54):
I work at a research lab at my university and
I just recently landed the position after a pretty long
and competitive application slash interviewing process. I met my boss,
who's a grad student, and we became buddies pretty fast.
He's a really nice and funny dude that knows what
he's doing. I see him every day since me and
the two other undergrads work under him and help with
his research while he helps us with our own. Fast
(01:16):
forward about two weeks and I see on my ex's
snapchot story a picture of my boss with a heart emoji. Hmmm, interesting.
I don't like that. I'm shocked as f so I
replied to her story, asking who her a new boy is,
and sure enough, she tells me she's dating my boss.
(01:37):
Wow if you got me, yeah, but you got me
back so good.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah, that's so insane. I feign happiness for her and
don't tell her that he's my boss or that I
know him in any way. Oh, so she doesn't know,
or it's possible that she doesn't know that this is
his Oh this is my chance. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
I thought I was gonna be premeditated me too, Okay,
like I'm gonna get you bad.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
And honestly, that makes it a little bit more just.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Like okay, then like it just kind of happened, happens
really awkward at work right now, in the like I'm
mad at you awkward way.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, dang mans, dang. I feel like someone just broke
my heart. I thought I didn't have feelings for her
after a breakup, and seeing her story hit me with
a pang of jealousy. Maybe it's because he's a major
step up for me. I'm a poor, disorganized undergrad and
he's a successful, young talent who has this crap together.
The next day at work, I'm basically on edge. The
(02:36):
whole day. I would look at my boss, remember that
he's dating my ex, and just feel uncomfortable. The rest
of the week was like that too. I stopped joking
around with him and kind of just stopped talking in general.
Now I dread seeing him every day because of the
fact that he's my boss, so he orders me around
just makes me feel crappier and more below him. He's
(02:57):
got the girl and I've got no. I still love
my job, though, and I worked so hard to get it,
so I'm not planning on leaving. I also feel like
a crappy person since my boss has been nothing less
than nice and is honestly a great guy. Now I
just feel like I should have tried harder in our
relationship because dang, she was pretty perfect in every way
and I just let it slip through. The other day,
(03:19):
she came over to have lunch with him during his
lunch break, and I saw them laughing together, and another
wave of sadness and jealousy. What do I even do now?
How do I stop feeling like this? How should I
normalize the situation at work? And there are some comments,
but what do you think, Carly? What would you do
if your boss?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Yeah, what would happen? What would you do?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
I don't like that.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
The implication is at this job, I would be worried
for Angie at that point.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
That's right because her boss is right technically.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Oh god, I mean, at least it's like you're not
dealing with your ex in the workplace. You're just dealing
with the person who's dating them. So I think I
just go to boss and I'd be like, hey, we
need to have some like strict boundaries, like I don't
want to know about my ex. I don't want to
know about your plans, Like yeah, don't tell me things
(04:23):
you're gonna have to go through that healing of being
okay with like seeing them at events potentially.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah, I mean she came to have lunch at work,
so it's like.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
It's like you're gonna have to be okay with that
kind of stuff. But I also don't think it's wrong
given the situation to be like, if she's gonna come
for lunch a lot, can you guys eat outside?
Speaker 5 (04:42):
Can you guys like go out to lunch? Like so
that I'm not seeing my.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Ex every single day because it's only been four months,
too great.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
And I feel like the boss is also not gonna
want her to come into the office or his ex
her exes every day. So I feel like it's gonna
be like a lot of this is probably gonna solve
itself kind of thing because it's gonna be like both
parties don't want her to.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Be like dealing with them kind of Yeah, yeah exactly. Yeah,
I feel like, no, yeah, I totally agree. It's just
so hard because it's like you already have to go
through that idea of like you're ex dating someone else
when you break up, but it's also kind of like
seeing it and then knowing the guy personally I'm trying
(05:27):
to think so rough.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, I'm trying to think of even like any friend
groups where I've had that weird overlap, Like, yeah, I
feel like eventually, some somehow, like someone just falls off
of the equation.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
So you're not dealing with it as much.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Kind of right, right, If my ex came in and
was dating Riley, that would be one very interesting because
we'd find out two people were not straight.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Very yeah. Right, Oh yeah, that's just that's a bummer, dude.
You're just getting thrown into the deep end of the
healing process and it might just have to deal with that. Sorry, man,
but there are some comments. I'm deleted says it means
you have to start dating again and focusing on your stuff.
(06:11):
The fact you are jealous is because you believe they
are doing better than you do at this moment when
you start dating again, if your ex girl still has
feelings for you, she would be the one at your
position right now. Opie says, yeah, that it's pretty close
to home. Killer creen five says he is not a
step up from you. I need you to know that
people aren't ranked. He's just a person with achievements and
failures and flaws. Just like you. He's young and maybe
(06:34):
not an effective manager. You said, he orders you around,
but try not to take it personally. He sees you
as a friend, coworker, subordinate threat to his relationship, and
also probably feels a bit awkward about the situation. As
another poster mentioned, he's dating someone significantly younger. When I
was twenty four, my friends and I would definitely make
fun of guys who dated nineteen year olds. There's just
a huge maturity difference at that age, especially for girls.
(06:57):
She's not perfect either, and it turns out you weren't
right for each other. Yeah, do we know their ages?
I didn't. I don't think I said their ages in here.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I can double changes.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, yeah, something about nineteen and twenty four, I guess perhaps.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
But how long they date a little over a year.
But at nineteen and twenty four.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
I think no Op and the girl are the same age.
I'm pretty sure. And then the boss maybe is a
little older. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
They were dating for over a year, little over a year.
It was nineteen No, No, they were just it was
like a thing of like, oh, when we were twenty
four and someone was dating a nineteen year old, We
would make fun of them kind of.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
The commenter mentioned something about age difference, but we don't
know their ages.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
We don't know their ages as of right now. Yeah,
no ages as of right now.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Yeah weird, Okay, I mean OPI said that, like the
boss is young, so I'm assuming it's not like that
crazy of an age difference, right, But if it is
twenty four to nineteen, I would make fun of them.
I would think that that's a little sketch. But I like,
you know whatever, don't try to be his best bud,
but try your best to forgive him and move on.
Focus on your work and yourself. You it worked so
(08:00):
hard to get this job, and it sounds like a
great thing that you have on your resume. It will
only make you miserable to dwell on it. And we
do have an update. We do have an update. But yeah,
I feel like the whole boss thing, it definitely isn't
personal having like a boss boss year round. It's like,
that's just kind of what's gonna happen, right.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
I could totally see though, that it could get personal,
like you could feel like it was personal.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Sure, when it's not, I wonder. Yeah, sorry, I don't no,
you're good.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Or like the boss could kind of take that power
a little bit and it can get personal.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah I would. I would be wary of the boss
getting like jealous or something and taking Angie. Ah. But yeah,
I feel like with you know, I wonder if you
could talk to your ex about it and be like, hey,
like this is just really awkward. Do you mind like
not coming over to the workplace or like, like, depending
(08:56):
on how I mean it's you said that they kind
of hang out because of mutual friends and stuff, So
maybe if.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
It's not able to then either way, like a conversation
amongst the parties involved needs to just be like laid out,
and then I feel like it'll be fine. Yeah, I
as long as no one gets like power to their heads, right, like.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Hopefully the new guy doesn't get jealous and starts right,
you know, getting wasted on power. But we do have
an update. For the past week, I've been trying to
focus on myself and my work and not care about
my ex and my boss who's dating her. It worked
pretty well. I started a painting and I'm pretty close
to finishing it, and I impressed my boss's boss, the
professor who owns the lab, not the one dating my ex,
(09:34):
by staying late for two days in a row to
finish a really difficult experiment. During our lab meeting, my
boss's boss shouted me out in front of the entire
lab and said that he was really impressed by my
hard work and dedication. Look at you go? What that
felt good? As for the situation with my boss and
my ex, he found out. Like I mentioned in my
previous post, when my ex told me who her new
(09:54):
boyfriend was, I didn't mention that he was my boss,
so neither of them knew. Two days ago, my boss
and us two other undergrads, we're in a conference room
discussing a paper when my ex came in. She came
to drop off my boss's wallet that I think he
forgot or something. Anyway, she saw me, did a double
take and went j J. She was definitely super surprised
(10:18):
and caught off guard, and her boss was already like
what the off? So I was just like, hey, Sarah.
She shot me another shocked, wide eyed look and left.
Suffice to say the rest of the meeting was pretty awkward.
The next day, it was obvious that my boss now
knew our history. Things just turned so awkward. He didn't
know how to act around me anymore or what to say.
(10:39):
Now we're both awkward around each other. He's still nice
and all, but things are just uncomfortable between us two.
It's not his fault, though. I think things will get
better between the two of us, But as of right now,
I actually feel kind of relieved that he now knows
something about how both of us now don't know how
to act and what to do. Kind of makes me
feel reassured. And there is actually quite a chunk le
(11:00):
to this this story. But Okay, they both know. Now
that's where we're at.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Sorry, Yeah, they both know.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
They both know. I wonder if they can have a
conversation about like how to act around each other just like.
I feel like that helps so much when people don't
know how to act, just be like, can act like
everything's normal, It's okay, it is what it is. You
can just be adults here.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
We're all adults. We're all mature.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Yeah, because I think they are, seems like we because
I think the awkwardness just comes from like not knowing
how the other person sees the situation, like if OP
is jealous or upset about it. Or if you know
the boss is threatened or something like that, Like they
don't know, so they don't want to like ruffle any
feathers or anything like that. But just just you have
a small two sentence conversation about it.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
And you're Gooday it all out real quick.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Yeah, but there is quite a bit more. Sarah also
called me the night she found out I worked there,
but I missed her call and for ought to call back.
It's good, though, I've been trying to think of her
lesson distance myself a bit. But if things continue to
remain really awkward to the point where both of our
work is affected, I'll consider talking to my boss's boss
about switching me to work under another grad student instead.
But yeah, that's about all again. Thanks for the help
(12:11):
you guys. And there are some comments. Let me see
which ones are good. Okay. One commentor says, I'm actually
sort of glad you didn't answer your ex's phone call
or return it. I cannot imagine, for the life of
me any usefulness to that conversation. I mean, did she
not know anything about the department you were in at
school or the likelihood of seeing you if she kept
her dating pool there in my humble opinion, you really
(12:33):
demonstrated an ability to be above drama by not immediately
telling your boss or Sarah about your previous work slash
romantic relationship, and I'm super stoked that instead you just
focused on work and got praised by your boss's boss.
Good for you, Opie says, Actually me too. We're still
friends and all, but I think I really need to
put some distance between us and focus on myself for now.
(12:54):
I'm glad I missed the call too. I applied for
the job after we broke up and never mentioned it
to her, so I guess he never found out. Thanks
for the support. That's good clarification. Yeah, that makes sense then, Yeah,
Observant Barracuda says, you should clear up the awkwardness at work.
Go to your boss and tell him. I guess you
know that Sarah and I dated. I hope that won't
affect our working relationship. Opie says, I thought about doing
(13:15):
that too, but it's been only a day since he
found out, so I'll give it some time. But if
it gets worse over the next week, I'll consider it.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
I would do that. Yeah, don't don't like wait and
consider this. I would make that a plan, and I
would make that by the end.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Of the week. Yeah, I think it's totally fine to
do it. It's weird and later on it Yeah, yeah, exactly,
hopefully that's what OPI did. But yeah, I feel like
if you just say too, like, yeah, we dated, like
we ended on good terms, so like, don't even worry
about it, no hard feelings, man. Yeah, it's been like
a few months, so you're good. Tame Volie says, If anything,
(13:48):
your boss probably feels embarrassed that he's dating the girl
that his nineteen year old subordinate dated. That probably feels
slightly emasculating to him. If he enjoyed feeling powerful over you,
the he has got your leftover's mentality. If you will
you sounds like you're crushing it and doing everything right.
Keep the positive attitude and hard work. Thanks for the update, op,
He says, Oh, dagg, I never thought about it that way,
(14:10):
but that makes sense. But the dude's a nice guy
and I don't want to hate on him. But yeah,
I honestly don't even know how they met and got together. Haha.
Undergrads are usually pretty separated from all the grad students
at our school, and thank you bar Soap guy says
Op should bring in some food that he made from
the night before and then offer it to his boss, saying, Hey,
I heard you like leftovers. Want to try this you.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
I think that's supposed to be a joke, but it is.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
I hate a bad joke. On advice website, Op says, Olaoh,
that would be so funny.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
No, woun't not talking about our feelings like adults would
be so and so chill and so great.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Put yourself in your boss's shoes.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Not I'd be like, okay, hr, Honestly, what the heck?
Also not a fan of calling girls leftovers if they've
just dated someone else before. Not a fan. Get over yourself.
Commenter YEP. Singer Bell says, I'm glad you're doing better,
But if he's working at the university with you and
your extend, then it is one hundred percent his fault
that he's running into awkward social situations when he dates undergrads.
(15:12):
Even if she isn't a student. She's nineteen, so I
guess they are. We do have their ages. Okay, they're nineteen,
I think the guy must be twenty four. Yeah, and
they dated for a year. Not the twenty four or
nineteen year olds Opie and op and the girlfriend are
nineteen twenty four five? Yeah, okay, okay, yep, yeah, I
thought Ope was the twenty four Yeah. So they're working
at the like school lab. So I'm guessing like the
(15:33):
twenty four old used to go to that school and
then is like a boss there now or something, or
getting his master's. It's a bit older though, the opin
wait wait wait, wait, yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know.
We're getting our info from other concerts manner. Who does
he think she socializes with at that age? Only in
professors and researchers. Opie says, thanks, he's actually a second
(15:54):
year grad student at the same university and just works
as a researcher at my lab. I have no idea
how they got together. That my guess is dating ups.
I'm thinking that's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
I just it sounded like op was so far out
of college already from like I'm working at a lab
that I was like, are you older?
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Oh no, no, no, he said, yeah, no, he said a
lab at the university.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Right, but that's the end of that story.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, I feel like, honestly.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
From what we thought the title was gonna be about though,
like way easier situation.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Honestly, like it really did seem like it was like
a sabotage or revenge type thing. But this seems just
like an awkward accident. Did we get a location? Were
they in the US? They were saying university, yea, so
could be could be anywhere, but not sure. Not sure.
(16:43):
But that's the end of that story. We've got another
one coming right up.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I discovered my girlfriend's lies about her male best friend
fire liear pants on fire trigger.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Running for essay.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
I twenty three mail met Nicole, one female, three years ago,
around my second year of college. I'm from out of
state and I received a full scholarship to the university
that we're currently at, so I didn't have any friends
at the time. She was nice and took interest in
me pretty quickly and we started dating.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
By the way, this comes from three years a lie.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay Storytime, suprendit.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
I'm Carly, I'm Angie, I'm Keon, and we're here to
give good advice. Goofiy. But we don't have all the answers.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
We only know what we would do, so let's know
what you would do in the comments, and Opie says
she's told me from the beginning that she had been
best friends with this guy, Adam twenty one male, since
they were little, and that they were very close and
their families were close.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I was fine with it at the time.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
I'm not really a jealous person, and I'm pretty laid back.
Adam seemed like a nice guy, and I thought, who
am I to really tell her who she can and
can't be friends with. Anyways, they have been close even
through the relationship. They go one trip together with their families,
they study together, have a few classes together, go to dinner.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Or lunch, and have even stayed the.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Night at each other's apartments. Ro raggy.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
They're just BFFs. They're just you know, having fun late
night talks.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, just really really good friend.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Just the local gossip, you know, the hot goss.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Yeah, uh, you know it.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
There was so many things listed there that I would
be way uncomfortable with. Totally well made that last apartments one, right,
It was weird at first, but I trusted her as
well as him.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Honestly.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
She always told me ahead of time, so I felt like.
It was fine, not ideal. It never really affected our relationship.
We spent time together. I had a great connection and
all that good stuff. Nicole and Adam left on Sunday
they finished finals early or something like that to head
down to their family's beach house about four hours away
from campus. They did invite me, but I have some
(18:59):
finals and then I have a summer course starting nearly
immediately after my finals, so I declined so that I
could prep for my final two courses before I graduate.
I met up in the library with one of her
friends in my web design class to put some finishing
touches on our final project. We got on the topic
of relationships and she was telling me about how when
she started dating her current boyfriend, she made him cut
(19:22):
all contact with his ex girlfriend, even though the ex
wanted to remain close. She asked me why I didn't
do the same, and I was confused. I didn't understand
what she meant. And then she explained and showed me
proof that Nicole and Adam dated throughout high school.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
No why they also went to prom together?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
No, not prom.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Hold on, this is very crazy because I know of
a couple who actually dated in high school. And there's
still like BFFs and everything. But then the guy was like,
he became gay, he was gay. He just he's like,
I don't but they be like still best they're still
best friends now to this day.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
I think he's probably the whole time realized it.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah yeah, well I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I'm just laughing at you became gay.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
He became gay. I knew what you meant, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
I knew what she meant, but I just like clarification
for you because I love you.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Don't give it that look.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
You do it to me all the time.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
And chat is all witnesses, all witnesses.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
That's crazy. Yeah no, I mean where they chill that happened.
Were they chill after that?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, they're very chill.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
I don't think he's going to be gay in this one.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
I think he is.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
I think that lies to come up.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Oh he is a woman, yes, yes, this is he's
a man.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Oh he's dating a woman and that woman is best
friends with a man.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I see I thought this was no man. Okay, okay, okay, okay,
But so this man has a girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Opie has a girlfriend. Yes, that girlfriends may best friend. Okay,
she dated in high school and went to prom with
and he did not know, and that's who she's staying
over at his house and doing all these like seemingly
daty things with. But he's like, but they never dated.
They've just been like Bestie's fruit life, right, and now
her female friend is like, I'm shocked that you would
(21:18):
let like your girlfriends still hang out with her ex.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
And he was like, she's not hanging out with her ex.
She's hanging out with like her long time.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Now.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
It's like, and she's like, actually the receipts.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
I thought it was like the guy's girlfriend or something
like that was Opie was out of the two best
friends girl. I thought it was like, oh, she's the
guy's girlfriend. But wrong, I'm wrong.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
I was pretty lost as to what to do or
how to feel.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
I found out yesterday and all I could think was
that Adam could potentially be screwing my girlfriend at this
very moment. I trust her, or trusted her, but I've
never seen exes hang out and be as buddy buddy
as them without hooking up before. As dense as it sounds,
I almost I can't wrap my head around their level
of closeness and not doing it. I talked to my
(22:04):
older sister, and she told me I had to calm
down and that maybe there was a reason they never
said anything. She said, if I trusted Nicole before knowing,
she didn't see why I would suddenly accuse her otherwise,
I will say, I feel like that comes in of
the part of like, yeah, you didn't lie to me,
but you omitted like a really big truth.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah, totally. It's like, well, why you would hide that? Yeah? Yeah,
because I feel like if I, like, I feel like
it would just be right to kind of like let
them know, just like hey, by the way, like I
just want to go out there. We we dated for
a while in high school. High school thing, but it's
like totally over. This is how it is now. Yeah,
(22:45):
but like we're still friends, and it's like, ChIL, I
just don't want you to worry, you know. Yeah, Yeah
that's simple. Yeah, save all this like super nonchalant.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Spiraling that ope's about to go.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
She said, If I trusted Nicole before knowing, she didn't
see why I would suddenly accuse her otherwise, even if
her best friend is her ex. But I feel like
that logic is so flawed because My entire foundation of
trust for this relationship stemmed from the fact that Adam
was her childhood best friend, not her ex. Honestly, if
(23:16):
she would have told me before we started dating, I
think I probably would have walked away from the relationship.
She's a great and nice girl, but getting with someone
who is still so heavily involved with their ex is
a roller coaster. I don't think I would have ever
willingly signed up for Am.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
I thinking about this the wrong way.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Is it crazy that I'm already considering ending the relationship
over this, whether she cheated or not. I haven't brought
it up to her yet. I want to talk in
person rather than on the phone. I'm going to hide
the fact that I know until she comes back to
campus on.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Friday to spend my Birthday weekend with me.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
But I don't see any logical explanation that will keep
me committed, except for the one that Kean said. We
have some comments, but uh, any advice before we get
into this.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah, I mean, I think it's interesting. I wasn't expecting
him to say that, like he would have walked away
from the relationship if he knew right away. I thought
he was about to say like I would have been
fine with it if if she told me straight up,
like at the beginning of our relationship. But I mean,
I guess some people some people I guess are just
not comfortable with that. But but yeah, it just it
(24:23):
is very suspicious. It is very suspicious. Yeah, I think
I'd just be like, why didn't you tell me?
Speaker 4 (24:29):
Like this is really weird and uncomfortable, Like, and they're
early in college, so it's not like this is the
high school relationship. It's pretty recently. Yeah, this was so
forever ago in the past maybe, but right right, because
it's like it's like a couple of years old, potentially
gay went to prom.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
This is like less than four years yeah, yeah, and
if it was all throughout high school, it's like that.
I feel like the further you get away from high
school relationships like that, it's like, okay, right, it was
a long time, but like in high school everything seems
like so much longer. But yeah, if it's so recent,
then they probably still recognize it as like a long
time and like super meaningful, so weird. I also want
(25:08):
to know why they broke up. I feel like that's important.
That is important too.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I'm curious relevant comments empty Whiteboard. The lying is problematic.
I made a comment already detailing what I think the
lying was done for. But the lying is the crux
of the issue. Your trust is shattered and if you
pit yourself up against Adam, I am positive she will
choose Adam over you every single time. That is the
(25:31):
real crux. Now, before you thought that you would be
a bigger priority than him, it never had to be
that way because of the history as you understood it.
Now that you know the truth, it will either be
something you get over after hearing her reasons, which I
detailed in another comment, I would bet money on it,
or you push and she chooses Adam over you. Lastly,
(25:52):
you could try to get over it and just not
be able to. I would personally find it very hard
to be okay with their friendship after this lie, OPI responds.
The lying is what really makes me just want to
leave altogether, not only her lying, but his lying, as
well as their families. I've met all of them, and
none of them have ever said a word about it,
though maybe their families don't know. Emotionally invested or not,
(26:15):
I'd never be up for having her pick between Adam
or myself. I'm not that type of person. Those ultimatums,
in my opinion, never result in anything but more issues. Also,
they do have a lot of history and families are connected.
I feel like I'm the one and the wrong for
even stepping into her life. I've been thinking about this
too much.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Although I should be studying instead.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
But I feel like it's either she's loyal and faithful
but I knew I wouldn't have even begun a relationship
with her in the first place, or she's hooking up
occasionally or something like friends with benefits.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Either way, I see it as a wrong.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
If she's loyal, which honestly I think might be the case,
then it's wrong of her to omit information and manipulate
my choice to begin dating her in the first place.
If I had any skeletons in my closet, I would
be open and clear about it before I engage in
a relationship with someone, letting them make a clear and
honest decision about it it was a deal breaker or not.
(27:10):
As for getting over it, I don't think I can,
or even if I can, I feel like it's almost
not worth the effort. I feel like it's going to
mess with the dynamic of our relationship, and then I
have to deal with her feeling guilty or always having
to check in with me, or sending Adam to talk,
or any of the other.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
Stuff that I don't even want to have to deal with.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I'm probably saying this out of convenience, but once I
finished this summer semester, I'll be done. I could have
a clean break, move back home with my parents for
a few months, and move on with my life.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
We have an update three days later. I mean, Okay,
I feel like if you knew this at the beginning
of the relationship, and just knowing that at the beginning
would make you walk away. I feel like you should
just walk away, Like I feel like, yeah, because you
know it now, Yeah, you know it now. It seems
(28:02):
like he's trying to make up his mind.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Well I think he's just like, do I bother getting
the reasons that they're still friends?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (28:09):
Or do I just be like nope, can't get over
it now?
Speaker 3 (28:11):
By I feel like you should do that one. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I mean, well, okay, I feel like you can get
the reasons anyway, but ultimately I think you're gonna leave still.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Update three days later, whoa Nicole showed up Thursday night
after my exams to surprise me for my birthday weekend.
We hung out and talked, and I tried my best
to just be normal with her. When I asked her
about Adam, she was extremely reluctant and borderline defensive to
even discuss it.
Speaker 5 (28:37):
You'd never brought it up before, or why do you
want to know about it now?
Speaker 4 (28:40):
When she realized I wasn't dropping it, she pretty much
broke down and.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Told me everything. Oh Man.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
Adam was the one who convinced her not to tell
me about their past relationship. The last few guys she
dated were scared off by her being best friends with
her ex, and he didn't want me to leave in
the same way. It was only so supposed to be
for a little while. She didn't plan on staying that
close to Adam while being in a relationship. Adam's dad
was in the process of getting a promotion when Nicole
(29:09):
and I started dating, which would move him and his
family to the Midwest, but the promotion fell through. She
said Adam became more direct once he found out he
wasn't leaving, constantly insisting that she hang out with him
without me even to the point where she would be
canceling plans with me. For most people, I'm sure that
would have been a red flag. But I've been taking
(29:30):
six to seven course semesters.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Where's Riley? Oh my gosh, Riley are.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
You watching six seven mentioned for the past two years
in attempts to graduate early and get the most out
of my scholarship. If I wasn't studying or with Nicole,
I always had a million other things to catch up on.
She blamed me for not setting boundaries or being more
strict with her, which led her to become comfortable with
her freedom with him. No, wow, Yeah, I can't blame someone.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Else for your dirty, dirty cheating. Yeah, absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
You should have told me straight out that I couldn't
cheat on you, right, You should have told me I
couldn't have spend more time with the guy.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Yeah, it's your fault that I slept at his house.
You weren't telling me to come home.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
Right, It's like, uh huh, Well, maybe you should have
told me the information that you used to date him.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Yeah, come on, dude, come on, John here og host.
We're gonna get back to these stories. But a quick
three minute break from as for more sponsors.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
Adam still had really strong feelings for her, though she
said she didn't feel the same way about him. She
admitted that Adam grew to resent me and became very
jealous of our relationship and how effortlessly happy I made
her feel. She told me she never cheated on me,
despite Adam's advances and flirtation, and yet somehow I feel
as though you staying in his room counts. I feel
(30:56):
like knowing that making advances, I feel like staying over
at his apartment counts.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
I do not trusts emotion. When you say that you
didn't cheat, you know if you're staying over.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
At this point, she was crying and desperate, begging for
forgiveness and promising to cut all ties with Adam. She
swore she wouldn't ever talk to him or hang out
with him again. She told me I was the only
person she wanted to spend her life with, and poured
out a bunch of other ridiculousness I could hardly even
listen to. I was angry and probably didn't phrase it
the way I should have, but I told her it
(31:30):
was the perpetual lying and deceitfulness that had me so angry,
and that was the reason I was breaking up with her.
That's pretty much how it ended, with me telling her
she could leave. Adam sent me some hateful texts, which
I ignored. Yesterday night, I was an emotional wreck. I
felt ashamed and angry at myself for crying over someone
(31:50):
so stupid. But this morning I didn't feel nearly as
bad as I expected. I spoke to my best friend
and he helped me put it into perspective. I'm going
home tonight for my birth up a weekend, and then
I'll just focusing on finishing school and finding a job.
I'm glad it's over, and even more glad I don't
live in this state anymore.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
We have some comments, first one being a down voted comment.
So interesting, let's read it.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
So. There's no time frame on when Adam found out
that he wasn't leaving. It could have been way more recent.
You have no idea how she rebuked his advances or
what their conversations were like. She could have rebuked him
several times and didn't want to bring it up with
her boyfriend because it would just be unnecessary drama in
her life since she no longer saw Adam that way.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Where I can.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
See being upset breaking up with her over it just
seems really extreme, especially since when she one comes clean
and two admit she was wrong, and three is willing
to fix it. Do people not get second chances anymore?
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Is that just not a thing that is done?
Speaker 3 (32:47):
No? Three years in That was from Adam. Adam made
that comment.
Speaker 6 (32:52):
She I'm a man of second chances, but if you
were lying to me for three years and yeah, dude,
I don't know, that's.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Second chances on cheating. Yeah, like, second chances are chill,
but not in every situation. Yeah, like come on. Op
expands on the timeline.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
When I first found out about her and her best
friend being excess from high school.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
I was ready to end it immediately.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
I was upset that I got lied to, and even
more angry that I had to hear it from a
friend and not from her. I took some time and
thought about it, and before I spoke with her last night,
I was fully willing to forgive her if her reasoning was.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
To avoid drama.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
I do believe in second chances, but trust is hard
to win back. Adam found out six months into my
relationship with her that his dad wasn't getting promoted that's
basically two and a half years for Nicole to take
responsibility and separate herself from him, especially if he liked her,
whether she felt the same way or not. In my eyes,
it's wrong to keep hanging out and sleeping over with
(33:52):
someone who has such strong feelings for you when you
have a significant other. She only came clean after I
confronted her. Her land was to never tell me.
Speaker 5 (34:01):
After the year mark, she admitted she realized she was
into deep.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
And that was the only way.
Speaker 5 (34:07):
She blamed me for everything, saying it was my fault
for not setting boundaries, for trusting her decision making skills,
and for not recognizing what was appropriate. She only wanted
to fix it once she realized I was one hundred
percent done with the relationship.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
She tried to guilt me, as if her hiding this
and me not playing detective was my fault, even if
I was willing to forgive her. Our relationship dynamic is ruined.
I don't want to be the controlling boyfriend and I
can't be with someone I don't trust. And we have
some vital information from Ope courtesy of Queen Levine. Sounds
like she really likes you and she wants to try
(34:42):
to make it work. The thing about it is that
I really liked her as well. I wanted to.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Make it work more than anything in the world. I
really did.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
It's something that I couldn't really convey in my post
is that I always saw this girl as.
Speaker 5 (34:55):
Like my escape away from everything.
Speaker 4 (34:57):
I've been in study mode since I was eighteen, and
I haven't really had much time for the simple things
in life, like hanging out with a girlfriend or going
out to parties or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
I didn't want a.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
Relationship at first because I didn't think I would have
the time or be able to time manage properly when
I was busy. I always encourage her to have fun
with other friends. There was a mutual trust there, especially
with Adam. It was rough at first, but eventually she
convinced me nothing would happen between them and that he
was just a childhood friend. But I made it explicitly
(35:28):
clear way back when we started dating. She had concerns
about her freedom and being able to do as she wanted,
and she wanted to know why I trusted her since
her other boyfriends didn't and gave her so much space.
And I told her that I had no reason not
to trust her. She's my girlfriend, after all. All I
ask is that you tell me the truth, even if
it'll hurt my feelings or get me upset. I realized
(35:49):
my school schedule is an ideal, but I think we
can work through just about anything. But I don't think
people owe their significant other their entire dating history, including
the people you know, and I strongly disagree with this statement.
If you guys have mutual friends that when disclosing pasts
are the most important, Especially when you don't disclose your
past with someone because you'll know it'll alter their decisions
(36:11):
and other aspects of your relationship. That's not cool on
a bunch of levels. Omitted to tell someone about a
neighbor who you slept with three years ago isn't the
same as keeping an ex under your significant other's nose.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Maybe if her and Adam saw.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Each other occasionally or weekly or monthly, it wouldn't have
been a big deal, But were hanging out with someone
pretty much four to five times a week, it becomes
a problem. You owe it to your significant other to
tell them about people you interact with often. Maybe you're
different than me and have yourself and your relationship with
your significant other all figured out. But that's a really
(36:45):
big deal in my book, she's being honest about everything
that's happened during your relationship. I could no longer trust
what happened during our relationship. I didn't know what was
truth and what was alive. However, I spoke with her
today and she actually came to visit me in my
apartment unannounced, and although we are broken up, she felt
the need to tell me more about it. She apologized
on how she acted, letting her disappointment, shamefulness, and guilt
(37:08):
get the better of her. She apologized for Adam's text
messages and some other things she did. But she did
in fact cheat on me day day the truth comes out,
ah Man, who saw that one coming? Not me?
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Really? No, it was very obvious. I was like, Angie, what,
I'm blind? But she didn't fact cheat on me.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
It happened two different occasions throughout different parts of our relationship.
Every occasion mixed with booze and then being alone for
the night, all initiated by Adam. I don't like that
it was all mixed with booze and initiated by him.
The same suspicious our legs back legs are back, Hello,
legs legless.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
You should be.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
They also have kissed, or, as she told me, Adam
would kiss her.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
Frequently on the lips, taking advantage of her. Oh, hang on,
hang on, what row new information? Bad new information, very
bad new information. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie too, Like
that changes the terms she cheated on me for me? Yeah,
because it's like, yes, she did, and I do think
(38:25):
she's still withheld stuff and there was a lot of
that kind of stuff, and I'm sure she didn't necessarily
maybe realize what was happening or like.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
All right, you guys, I need to think and process it. No,
I agree. I think she was.
Speaker 4 (38:39):
Being taken advantage of, Like you don't want to be like,
yeah she yes, she one percent still cheated. But this
adds like a whole new spin of like, well, Adam's
an icky, yucky person.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Yeah, because I wonder because some of the situation seemed consensual,
I thought, but with that information, like it very well
could be that reading was not.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
The stuff that is consensual was mixed with booze them
being alone and initiated by Adam that is, which then
really sounds a lot less consensual.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Yeah, it does. So it's like I honestly wouldn't even
call that cheating then, and she probably is calling it
that because she feels guilty, and you know, there's obviously
so much, like I.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Think, the guilt and the like shame of it, which
she doesn't need to have. I think that it could
have come forward and told her boyfriend about all this,
like right, maybe they could have worked through it. There
was still that like lying in admitting of truth, but
that changes things a lot.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Yeah, it totally does. I wonder how op he feels
about that.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Okay, I'm just gonna keep reading, guys. Yeah, my brain's
not gonna process this one.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
So based off that alone, I'm two thousand percent done.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
Ah, not our favorite way to deal with that. Yeah,
I had my doubts.
Speaker 4 (39:53):
You know, maybe she really did just lie about them
being exes. But when she confirmed that she cheated, that's
when I knew I made the right decision to move on.
Has it been a rollercoaster it? Did it affect your
relationship in any way before you found out?
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I'm assuming this is a comment trask.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
All for this, All I can say is that ignorance
is bliss. Looking back on it now, I can vividly
see periods that would have made me question everything, freedoms
and things that I was okay with.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
I would have freaked over.
Speaker 5 (40:21):
Letting her sleep at his house was a big deal.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
Having to split my limited free time up with him
was a huge issue for me. Despite the cheating and lying,
I do care for her, but I can never be
with her again. She either has to date Adam or
get the f away from him. She used to get
the f away from him, definitely. Oh, I just had
a thought and it just like I basically I feel like, one,
(40:44):
you can still end this relationship. Like no one is
ever saying like, because it happened in this way, you
have to stay in this relationship. But I feel like
that changes enough things that you can like, I don't know,
it doesn't have to be like you don't have to
be like and she like like, I'm not sure she
cheated on you, my dude, Like, honestly, I think by
a technicality she did.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
I think it depends on your definition of cheating, yea,
because some you know, people have different definitions. I feel like,
you know, some people think holding hands is cheating or
something like that, or kissing isn't cheating, you know, I
think my definition would be like if you would be
consciously cheating, Like if something is just you were in
a relationship and something just like happened to you against
(41:25):
your will and without your consent, I feel like I
would not blame my partner for that at all. Cheating
to me, Yeah, at all. Yeah, that's why I'm.
Speaker 4 (41:33):
Like, I don't know if she realizes if Yeah, like
the way that she's saying it, I want to be
like like, are you okay? And yeah, I'm like, let's
not because I'm not sure that you cheated, And I
don't think we need to jump right to that.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
I need to jump to like are you okay? Totally? Totally.
I think maybe the relationship should still end based on
how you are acting. I don't actually, I don't think
she should have you in her life, but.
Speaker 4 (41:59):
I think she should get some help and yeah, get
away from him.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
She needs to be away from Adam.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
Yeah, yeah, she either has to date Adam or get
the f away from him. But that's not something I
can be a part of right now. Like I told
someone else before I leave back to my hometown for good.
Maybe I'll sit down with her and give her a
new perspective on things. No, stop, No, I don't like
your perspective on things, op, not at all. But right
now she can learn on her own and that's the
(42:25):
end of that story.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
Hikes, dude, I don't like Uope yikes, sang wow the
man in that story. Yeah, geez, yeah, I think I Yeah,
I still stand by I don't think you guys should
be together because I don't think you should be in
a relationship with her. I think, uh I it sucks though,
because even with that, she's gonna take out so hard
and so yeah, like internally, like she if she already
(42:50):
like if she had been with past boyfriends who didn't
like that she was best friends with her ex and
broke up with her because of that, and now she's
in this relationship, and now it's a problem that she
kept it secret, right, she's already probably yeah, she's already
probably like stressed and confused about that. And then of
course you know the factor of the essay, and it's
like that's huge and she's probably thinking so much guilt
(43:13):
there exactly. So it's just so many layers to this
this problem, and I feel so bad for her.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Yeah, I'm I'm concerned for the level of coercion and
like control that Adam has over her.
Speaker 3 (43:25):
Totally that she's not realizing.
Speaker 4 (43:28):
Oh, he's not going to realize because she's not able
to tell him right right.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
The fact that he was like you have to hide
this from Yeah, he convinced her to do that. That
already is like a raisin, a red flag of their dynamic.
So I also want to I do still want to
know why they broke up initially, like if they broke up,
but Adam still you know, has this hold on her
and wants to use her, Like I wonder.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
It sounded like whatever it was, she ended things with
Adam okay, which is because it was like Adam's still
in love with her, She's doesn't want anything to do
with him, is what the original?
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Yeah? Yeah, I mean obviously she doesn't want I would
not blame her for not wanting anything to do with
him after he's doing this stuff. Ikey iky ach ikey
ikey ikey. I really hope that she is okay now.
Speaker 5 (44:16):
I hope somewhere else there with Adam.
Speaker 4 (44:18):
Yeah, I hope someone She felt comfortable enough to go
to someone and not.
Speaker 5 (44:24):
Feel shame for something that she should not feel shame about.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
At all and then she can get help. Hopefully, we're
just gonna pretend that that's what happened. Now we're just
going happy endings.
Speaker 4 (44:35):
Adam got all the bad karma he deserves and so
did Ope.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Honestly, just for those comments at the end, Yeah, didn't
like it. Didn't like it, but you know what I
do like the fact that we've gotten another story coming up.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Hey, it's sam og Host. We're get it back to
these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from
our sponsors to help support the show.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
My HR boss is obsessed with my life.
Speaker 5 (44:56):
It's not a very good HR boss.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
Hi, but let me tell you about how my HR
coworker became obsessed with me. I need to get this
off my chest because I don't know if I'm overreacting
anymore or if this has really turned into a weird
level of obsession. My name is Claudia, I'm twenty five, female,
and I work at a company where, unfortunately, professionalism seems
to be absent. What started as something small has spiraled
into something creepy. And by the way, this comes from
(45:21):
deleted And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay, story time is Supreddit
and I'm Angie.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
Here to give good advice goofully, but we don't have
all the answers. We're just gonna guess what we would
do in this situation. But let us know what you
would do in the comments. So Opie says. It all
began when a colleague, my age, Victor, twenty five male,
showed interest in me. I have a boyfriend, so I
turned him down lately, professionally and without any drama. But
his ego didn't handle the rejection well. He sulked to
(45:51):
act a distant and spent a solid week behaving like
a teenager who had just been left on red. Eventually,
he seemed to move on, but unfortunately, the drama didn't
end there. That's when Addison, a forty five year old
woman who works in HR, started showing interest in Victor.
Since she had told half of the office that he
liked me, Addison decided that she hated me for no reason.
(46:15):
I have never had any problems with her before, but
suddenly she was giving me dirty looks, ignoring me, or
being outright rude without any explanation. I could have stopped
there and just been a petty office situation, but no,
it escalated into something straight up creepy. I have a
very defined personal style. I think think preppy, dark academia,
(46:35):
long dresses, boots, tights, layers, and a yellow umbrella that
I carry because I'm a huge How I'm at your
Mother fan.
Speaker 5 (46:42):
You carry an umbrella even when it's not raining.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
I suppose has anyone seen How I'm at your Mother?
Speaker 4 (46:46):
No? I know there's a yellow umbrella, but just carry
it all the time, all the time.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
That's so funny. I also had blonde hair until recently,
when I died it a rich brown, got long extensions,
and added a wispy fringe. Addison, who was always had
short orange hair and dressed in plain jeans, suddenly showed
up with brown hair dyed to match mine. Identical long extensions, bangs,
and even the same yellow umbrella. That's wild. Behab That
(47:14):
is wild. Yellow umbrella is not something that everyone.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
She also likes How I met your mother?
Speaker 3 (47:18):
That's all guys, just each other. Just watched it exactly,
watched it, watch watched it. She began copying my outfits, boots, tights, skirts,
the whole look I'm not exaggerating when I say people
noticed immediately. At least You're not the only one then
that noticed. I feel like I was expecting you to
(47:39):
be the only one and everyone was just like, I
don't know.
Speaker 5 (47:41):
She loo hair brown. Yeah, that was the problem.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
But it didn't stop there. She started spreading lies about me,
flaunting swimsuit pictures of herself in front of Victor's friends
right where I could see, and loudly laughing or touching
Victor's face whenever I walked by.
Speaker 4 (47:58):
I even like Victor though, yeah, what is this doing?
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Victor just likes ope, like, calm, calm down, weird.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
I would be like, could I reach out to HR?
But you can't You're HR?
Speaker 3 (48:12):
Yeah, can I get a new HR? It felt like
high school drama, except for adults in an office. And
to top it off, she stalks me online, Oh my god,
I've caught her on my TikTok and LinkedIn repeatedly. Even
after I blocked her, fake accounts kept popping up, all
linked back to the same email patterns. Classic. It was unsettling,
(48:33):
to say the least. I've tried to remain professional through
all of this. I don't want to stir up any
unnecessary drama, but she constantly throws passive aggressive comments my way.
She claims, I don't do any real work, even though
I'm literally one of the most needed people in the company.
Flex She talks loudly about her spicy sleep life inappropriate,
especially whenever Victor is nearby, making it clear she wants
(48:54):
me to hear it. Just search. Okay, story time, and
there is a little bit more to the story. But yeah,
this is very clear. What is happening.
Speaker 6 (49:01):
Yikes, I say you got to reach out to someone,
like a higher up or something like this.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
This is not you gotta go past HR? Yeah? Is
there are there more people in HR?
Speaker 2 (49:14):
Is there?
Speaker 3 (49:16):
I feel like h for this HR. I feel like
HR would be like, you know, usually more than one person,
although I guess in the office it was just Toby. Yeah,
actually they higher up though. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure.
Speaker 5 (49:27):
I'm sure things can get escalated past AGR.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
Yeah, yeah, go there definitely there is a little bit
more to the story. What makes us worse is that
Addison has already engaged in harmful behavior with other coworkers.
Several people have quit because they couldn't handle her. Oh
my gosh. One younger colleague, Ali, twenty four, female, lost
her grandmother and asked her a couple of days off
to attend the hospital and then the funeral. Addison, showing
(49:51):
no empathy, told her that she didn't believe her. Alie
ended up resigning shortly afterwards, completely devastated. Nobody dares confront
Addison because as HR, she holds power and people prefer
to avoid conflict. So now I'm stuck in this toxic loop.
I love my job, I'm good at it, but I
constantly feel watched, harassed, and disrespected, and since the problem
(50:14):
is HR itself, I don't even have a safe place
to report it. At this point, I don't know whether
to laugh, cry, or just start dressing differently every week
to see if she keeps trying to copy me. And
that is the end of that story.
Speaker 4 (50:25):
But yeah, yeah, yee, yeah, escalate that totally.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
That's wild, I know. Yeah, definitely talk to your boss, yeah,
for sure, because I'm sure there's like a manager of
your department. They can help you gun around HR. Yeah,
because I feel like in a lot of workplaces anyway,
it's kind of like you can talk to the boss anyway,
and then they might like refer you to HR, but
like you can definitely heard of them first.
Speaker 4 (50:48):
Yeah, there's no way that HR is holding all the
power in this company totally, which would be just like
a crazy way.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
It makes you think of like Game of Thrones. It's
like you don't have to be on the throne to
have power.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
All right, little finger, calm down.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
No, it's okay. I feel like she does that pretty
early on. But anyway, Yeah, that's the in that story.
That's I'm honestly relieved that other people notice that she's copying. Yeah,
me too.
Speaker 5 (51:15):
So yellow umbrella is such an easy giveaway, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
It's like it's, first of all, it's already weird that
you're doing that, so it's like extra weird. If someone
else does that, people will notice. People will notice. So
if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love
you and see you tomorrow.
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