My boyfriend and I are on vacation together for 6 days…he just told me cheated on me! - r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but
before that, we have a quick two minute break from
the sponsors that keep the show alive.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
My boyfriend and I are on vacation together for six days.
But he just told me he's cheating on me. It's
not gonna be a fun vacation, not at all. I
thirty Femala, have been in a seemingly happy relationship for
a little over three years. My boyfriend, thirty two male,
is wonderful. We have lived together for about two years,
rarely ever argue. We have so much in common and honestly,

(00:31):
he's my best friend. I love him and I know
that I want to marry this man. By the way,
this comes from you slash Janet Doe seven seven on
our slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So he flew into his
hometown yesterday. I flew down this morning, and we are
both catching a plane in the morning to go on
vacation together for six days with two other friends of ours.

(00:53):
Everything is paid for and cancelations are not possible. Last minute,
I've been in our hotel room bawling my eyes out, dry.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Heating for the past two hours. God.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
I ubered from the airport and when he came down
to help me with my bags, I immediately knew something
was wrong. He looked like heck and was visibly nervous.
Once we got into a hotel room, he started tearing
up and told me he had something to tell me,
and he knows I'm going to leave him. But he
can't keep a secret like that from me at all.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
No, that's so scary. No.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
He explained how he and a few of his childhood
friends all went to a bar and he ran into
the girl that he went to college. But they never
had spicy sleep, but did go on a few dates
almost seven years ago. She invited him in a group
of other people back to her house, where they all proceeded.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
To get and do coca cola all night.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
I know about the occasional coca cola use and just
catch up. Basically, he and the college friend ended up
having spicy sleep, and she drove him to our hotel
early this morning. He hasn't talked to her since, and
he swears that it means absolutely nothing. He said she's
not even attractive and that he was just left up.

(02:04):
He says it was a big mistake and is begging
for my forgiveness. No, A huge part of me wants
to ask for every last detail, but I'm scared to
know that there is potentially more to the story.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
I want to forgive him and enjoy our time away,
but I truly don't know. How are there such occasions
where you really can't help yourself and it was really
a spur of the moment mistake or is there something
hidden beneath the surface And my happy relationship has been
anything but this.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
Whole time, And there are three updates, But what do
we think so far?

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Don't forgive him? There's no such thing as oh I
couldn't help myself. Yeah, that's not how humans work, honestly,
because I feel like that stuff is like there's so
many steps you need to take yefore getting to that point.
So there's got so many chances that you have to
stop what you're doing and to take a second to
take your clothes off. Yeah, maybe take one article look
of clothing off. I think, hmm, maybe this isn't quite right,

(03:02):
before you take the second one off back on?

Speaker 3 (03:05):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
So update number one after basically begging him.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
He told me the name of the girl, and.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
I reached out to her. I called her and put
her on speakers so we all three could talk. Unfortunately,
I'm learning the situation was much worse than the story
he originally told me, and I will be on a
flight home in a few hours.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
This other girl is not unattractive than the spicy sleep
was not protected. He and her had been flirting the
entire three hours before they finally had spicy sleep. There
was hand holding, she was sitting on his lap, They
were making out a lot. He gave her mouth spicy sleep,
and basically the spicy sleep lasted quite a while, with

(03:49):
various things being done, not like the Coca cola out
unpleasant quickie I was told.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
About Update number two.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
First, I would just like to say thank you to
everyone who was commented or messaged me. I appreciate all
the kind messages, words of advice, and even some of
the more harsher messages and comments. You guys have helped
me more than you can imagine. I flew home this morning,
took a nap, packed some of my things, took our cat,
and I am staying with a friend.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
For the six days. He's away. He didn't want to
go on the trip, but I insisted.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
I told him, if he has ever loved me, to
please give me the time and space I deserve. Unfortunately,
our relationship is broken beyond repair. Yeah, the reasoning behind
why he cheated doesn't matter, because the fact.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Remains that he did that.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
In all of our time together, I've never even considered
or wondered about another man, and the first chance he got,
he chose to have unsaved, spicy sleep with someone else.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
I believe that he loves me, and quite possibly is sorry.
But I don't, however, believe that he has any respect
for me or our life together good because he doesn't.
It's true, You're right on the money. I don't know
that I'd ever forgive him or trust him again. No
respect and no t trust means no relationship.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
We do have a.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Shared life, so the ending of this relationship is not
quite as easy as me packing up and leaving and
not looking back. We have shared accounts, both of our
names on our lease, shared phote plans, and car insurance. Basically,
the next few weeks are.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Going to be rough.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
That's so sad. Really, There is a whole nother update too.
Oh two more updates. Oh man, my goodness, this is
just like oh, pe separating their finances.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah, hopefully, Like that's all it is, and.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
It's really boring, and nothing else bad happens. Please please please. Yeah.
I don't think Ope's done anything like. I think all
of the right moves have been made in this horrible situation.
I think she's handling it as well as she could. Yeah,
making the right decisions. But update number three.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
I have no idea if anyone cares about the outcome
of the situation. But it is almost cathartic to write
it all down, so I'm doing it anyway. I finally
have a calm moment to sit at my computer and
compose a logical thought. Upon me returning home, he and
I had very little communication, at my request. I had
originally planned to spend the at my friend's home to
process this life altering event, but early this afternoon he

(06:04):
texted me telling me he was home. Now, some people
might think that shows a lot of effort on his part,
that he's remorseful, and rather than enjoy his vacation, he
flew home to talk. Perhaps I would feel that way too,
except I asked for space I told him that if
he had ever loved me, he would give me time alone.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
And he couldn't even give me that.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
I agreed to meet with him at our apartment to talk.
I only wanted to talk about and sort out all
the details our finances, our home, etc.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
We agreed on paying to break our lease, to stay
on the insurance policy and phone plan together for now,
but enroll auto pay so we're able to make our
payments separately. I also asked for him to reimburse me
for what I paid towards the vacation from Hell. I
wanted to wrap things up enough in that moment to
where I would have to see and speak to.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Him as little as possible.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
I know that some communication in the future will be inevitable,
but right now I can't deal with it. I told
him he can stay in our part until we have
to leave. I packed some more of my things and left.
I don't know if he looked upset or if he
was crying. I honestly barely heard anything he had to
say because I was so enraged at the person in
front of me, a complete stranger. I don't know if

(07:14):
the past three years were all alive. I don't know
if he has cheated before, or that he would cheat
on me again. All I'm sure of is that he
was capable of lying and cheating. Now, I refuse to
be another cautionary tale of a woman who loves someone
more than herself so she forgave a cheater, only to
be cheated on again. There's a big difference between guilt
and remorse. Update number four, Thank you to everyone who

(07:37):
has commented or reached out after my last two posts.
I first want to say that I'm doing okay, even
after what I'm going to say in the post, I'm okay.
I am going to attempt to make this as brief
as possible because I can't get the situation any more
of my heart or energy, but it will most likely
belong here we go. I am all moved out of
the apartment, my things going into storage because I'm still

(07:58):
staying in my friend's home for the time being. This
breakup has proved to be financially burdensome, but somehow money
has managed to be the least.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Stressful part of this sord deal.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
It turns out that I never knew the man I
shared my life with for the past three years. My
ex and I ended up having a conversation on the
last day of us moving out. He seemed apologetic and
sad and asked if we could talk. He said that
he loves me and that he will always love me,
and he wants us to stay together.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
No, no, no, don't fall for it.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
He apologized and said he would stop bus saying no
more lies. I didn't feel the need to have a conversation,
but I did have one question.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
I asked him why. I never could have imagined in
a million years that he would tell me that the
reason he cheated was because I miscarriaged six months ago.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
What, Oh my god. I didn't think he could get worse.
Oh my goodness, he got worse that, which means that
he literally premeditated, premeditated. We wait. We went from oh,
it was just like a spur of the moment to oh,
it was hours of Lena.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
How months ago, six months ago, you miscarriaged, which is
no one's control, literally out of your control, out of
your control, and so and why, oh my god, I
would that punch him? This is insane, especially because of
how supportive and loving he was during that period in
our lives.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
I felt blindsided and betrayed.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
He said that he knows that it was not my fault,
that there was nothing I could have done differently, but
it had caused him to resent me, and that he
was angry. He said he knew how this sounded, which
is why he never talked to me about it. He
didn't want to hurt me. I, of course, at this point,
felt sick.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
My heart hurt in ways I never knew possible.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Even the death of my father did not hurt in
ways his words and actions were hurting me. Here is
the man that I've unconditionally loved and supported for over
three years.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
I was his.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Biggest cheerleader in life, encouraging him to be his own
person and still live his own life. I wanted him
to be happy. We never went to bed mad at
each other. We never called each other names. We never
never not kissed each other good night or goodbye in
the morning. Our relationship seemed great. And yet he's telling
me for the last six months he's resented me, borderline
hated me at times. He admitted to downloading Tinder and

(10:13):
chatting with women for the last six months. He swore
that it never became spicy up until the night he cheated,
and that was only because they had history.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
I have no clue if that was true. Honestly, I
don't care whether or not it is. The cheating is.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Minimal compared to the words he just spoke. Yeah, we
were both crying and I handed him my keys for
him to turn in. I gave him a hug and
told him that he needs therapy and that I never
want to speak to him or see him ever again.
I have a therapy appointment next week and it will
start to work unhealing.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Here we are.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
We don't need him, don't need him at all. But
you know who we do need is you?

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Joining us live every weekday at three pm PSD.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Just have our profile, Davin, all the therapy you need
right on our bitch. I'm looking at potentially getting alone
so I can get out of anything left.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
That we have shared.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
I also want to look into moving to a different city,
but that is still up in the air. I've changed
my phone number and blocked him everywhere. There was never
a chance of him and I getting back together, and
this just solidifies my decision. This will most likely be
my last post on the subject, but I once again
thank each and every one of you You're welcome.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
You're welcome. You went through so much, so as much
four updates, Yes, four updates. That's right. Well, I'm so
proud of you, op, I'm so proud. Din's so great.
I feel like in so many of these situations, it's
so easy for people to like just fall right back
into some similar relationships, and it takes so much strength
do what you did, Ope to realize, you know, it's
not me.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
Yeah, this guy.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
Right, and a stand up for yourself and like, even
though the whole thing is so like, you're making the
right decisions to make it better as you go along
and make it healthier. Indubit. That's the end of that story.
My wife is fantasizing about other men. I think she's
cheating on me in her mind. My wife and me

(12:07):
married six months after we met and have been married
for just over a year. She has had about six
times as many partners as me, and unlike me, who
mostly had one night stands under the influence, she's slept
with people who existed in her presence, music teachers, coworkers,
old friends, but she was always interested in them, like
a crush or something. By the way, this comes from

(12:30):
F three four three four six on the Okay Storytime
suburtt So I was insecure before I met her, and
this information made me more insecure. Also because we started
dating as friends while her ex was sleeping somewhere else
and slept together for the first time the day before
they finally split. This makes me insecure that there is
another me out there. She is the kind of person

(12:51):
who makes friends easily and keeps in contact occasionally with exes.
Why would I sleep with them? I tried that it
didn't work. Don't be insecure is basically her response, which
in fairness is logical, But my feelings of insecurity were
still there. I was working on it, making progress. The
last six months have been hard. We lost some animals,
professional setbacks, financial setbacks, surgeries with recovery periods, car trouble,

(13:16):
house trouble, etc. This has led to us taking out
frustration on each other oh no, and several fights and screaming.
We often think alike but feel we are one, but
feel we are a bit too much and wanted a
bit of individuality. On September twenty fourth, we had a
nasty fight where we both said we were failing at
our professions. It led us to double down on prioritizing work.

(13:38):
She is a PhD and has to go to find
research participants. I'm in it and had to stay at
home in front of the computer more. The next week
I felt her more distant, and as a result, tried
to ask what was wrong and to be more affectionate.
She was somewhat affectionate back, but also said she needed
to rEFInd herself and that she had lost herself being
with me too much. It culminates last Saturday, where my

(14:01):
frustrations led to anger and we slept in separate bedrooms.
On Sunday, we have a huge fight and I say,
I'm scared. This is the end of the marriage. She
says she had a fantasy about a guy she met
a friend. I asked if they did something physical? She
said no. I asked if she wanted to kiss him.
She said yes, maybe it would help sort out feelings.
Does she want to sleep with them? Same answer? And

(14:23):
there is more to this story, so much more, but
pausing really quick. My question so far is is she
having like a fantasy or a dream? Yeah, it sounded
like it was a dream. Yeah, but she said it
was a fantasy because I feel like a dream. You
can't really control dream, but a fantasy is are you
daydreaming about this? Because you Yeah, it kind of seems

(14:45):
like maybe she had a dream about the other person
and then from waking up in the dream, she's like,
not a bad idea, bad idea out, Yeah, But the
fact that she's like, she's like, I was fantasizing about him.
Maybe I could just maybe I could just sleep with
him to figure Yeah. I think they have so many
more problems though than just this. It seems like they've

(15:05):
had like months. I think they just got married way
too soon. Wait after six months, like you'll wonder you're
having all these problems and stuff like coming up because
you don't really know each other that well yet. Exactly,
Like that's christ exactly, Like that's yeah, that's just a
lot Like Yeah, I feel like you're right, Like I
feel like after more time, you definitely be more secure

(15:27):
in that relationship. Yeah, for sure, but op continues. She
then somewhat suddenly says she has to go to an
event for Palestine to look for participants. I drive her
there at three, I ask her to stay, but no,
I cry at home and tell her I feel abandoned.
She hoos she chose to sleep at my parents, who
live close by the event, instead of coming home. I

(15:47):
say I need her. Next morning, the event continues. I
am desperate and emotionally broken. She goes to the event
again in the morning. In the afternoon, the event finishes,
but there's a protest. She goes to it. The guy
she has a fantasy about was also at the event
and was coming back from the protest. He's just a
friend though, Oh no, is he? Though? Is he really?

(16:08):
I don't buy it. When she comes home, we talk,
but it's mostly blame. She thinks I'm too needy. I
think she doesn't prioritize the marriage and me. She says
the job is important and she needs time to think.
I say, I'm important and my feelings are important. The
next day there is more of the same. I feel
she should cut contact with this guy for a bit
and be with me so we can focus on us.

(16:30):
She doesn't think so. She says he's just a friend.
Now in my mind, the words feel like a slip up.
I feel I have given her many chances to come
back to me, prioritize me, and show me she cares
about me and the relationship. By sacrificing a bit of
contact with this guy or going to an event protest.
She also participates to show support in the night. The

(16:50):
word now bothers me. I don't trust her anymore because
she abandoned and neglected me when I needed her. We
have been sleeping in separate rooms for the last few days.
The next morning, I asked her to see your messages
with him controlling. I know, but since I don't trust
her words, I wanted to confirm the words with proof
so as to build some trust. The messages begin the

(17:10):
day after the big fight. It's a thousand messages at least.
It took me over three hours to read, and I
skimped most o man, my god. He has saved as
my habybee in the phone. He is a non Muslim
from Afghanistan. Habibi means my love, but can also mean
my dear honey. It doesn't really matter. Those are both

(17:32):
pretty similar vibes. Yeah say. The messages start innocent but
become more and more intimate, including pictures. But I don't
think bicy picks at least, she says not, though the
photos are the type that can only be viewed once.
She says, stop it, you know I'm married in the beginning,
but it doesn't stop. It doesn't get dirty, but she
might say things like I don't mind you being assertive.

(17:54):
They share a lot of common things, like liking Interstellar
and being so in sync that the breakfast at the
same time, at between seven to eight. And then she says,
you are in me and I'm in you. We have
the same essence. There are increasingly more heart emojis. On Sunday,
a message from him reads, I love you. She responds
in our language glad or elsker. Glad is used for family,

(18:15):
et cetera. Elsker is reserved for the one love kind
of person. He responds elsker. She says something and later
says I would have liked to respond the same earlier.
So I think what happened was he says I love you.
She says, I love you, but in a familiar way.
Then later says, I would have liked to say in
the I love you. Yeah, whoa is this girl doing?

(18:39):
That's crazy. Your fantasies are coming to life. Stop it's crazy,
she says. She will try to go a bit earlier,
and now she is in the car, so because I'm there,
she can't write. But he should continue sending messages. She
wanted to see him before the event. In the evening,
they talk about the children they will have, getting married,
and traveling the world. My wife says that I need

(19:00):
to give each other some time to date to figure
it all out because of the situation. She realizes that
this is too much and has a discussion with him
in person on Monday that they need to just be friends.
She then comes home to me. They continue to send
messages and he writes things like, don't believe he's don't
believe his lies, he's needy. You have no fault. Stand
up for yourself, which she did do. In the evening,

(19:22):
she talks with her mom, realizes she's been an in
for not putting the marriage first, but doesn't tell about
the guy. Her mom says, of course, they don't trust her.
She tells me she wants to change and commit, but
sends messages with him about the situation. As I'm reading
the messages, his messages are coming in. Oh my god.
So as OP is looking at these messages, there's guys

(19:42):
are still texting. Oh my gosh. She responds that I
saw all the messages. He responds, what, and we go
each to her own. She calls her mom for two hours.
I a friend. She tells her mom the whole story,
and I can hear screaming and crying from upstairs, her
mom telling her she has sabotaged her own marriage and
this guy is crazy. You don't love someone after one

(20:03):
and a half weeks of texting and then talk about
your children, you will have My friend tells me to
go out the effing door and sleep in his spare bedroom.
I tell her I'm leaving, and also that blocking that
guy was a must, but I'm still leaving. She says,
what if I don't come back, then she would have
blocked him for nothing, but blocks him pretty quick anyways.
She says, sorry forgive me.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
I was wrong.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
I see that now, but it's all just words, not
I understand. Prioritizing him over you was wrong and broke
your trust. Not specifics if that makes sense. Nothing to
indicate that she truly understands what this felt like for me,
nor any idea on how to fix it. Just please
come back. She's worried about not having a car, there
are very limited buses where we live, and that our

(20:44):
friend is passing by a nearby town on Saturday, and
on Sunday there is the birthday party in a different
city of the husband of the woman who introduced her
to the guy. They live in the same building. He's
likely to be there too. I say, it is what
it is. It feels like she's short, shortsighted and not
considering the fact that her marriage is ending, just the

(21:05):
immediate consequences. I'm worried about the next fifty years of
my life and who to spend it with. What happens
in the next month is almost irrelevant to me. Anyway,
I'm sitting on my friend's couch writing this on my phone.
Are things forgivable? How can I begin trusting again? How
can I deal with her going to work a few
hundred yards from where the guy lives? How do I
understand if she has truly understood what she did? How

(21:27):
could I not be insecure that she will fall in
love with another one or the same again. Remember my
insecurities were validated, and you can validate us by joining
us live every weekday after a PMPSD on YouTube. Just
dab hero phone and there is a teensy bit left
of the story. The thing is like, I feel like
sometimes you have these cases where there's no physical cheating
in a marriage and they get over it. But that's

(21:49):
usually when there's like ten years of marriage or you know,
like at least right a couple of years. You guys
have been together for like a year and a half total. Yeah,
And I feel like this is an interesting situation where
it's like this probably like I haven't seen a lot
of cases of emotional cheating, but this is probably one
of the most, like so emotionally, Yeah, it's like the
most apparent one that I've seen. I mean, they're saying

(22:09):
I love you, you're kids with you. Yeah, Like it's
basically not physical because they haven't been able to yet. Yeah,
and that's pretty around to it. She's being physical with
him in her dreams exactly, Like especially when she was like,
what if I don't know if you're going to come back?

Speaker 3 (22:24):
Then I blocked him for nothing.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, it was it's like, come on, what's like you
really she's trying to just like shake to exactly. She's
just trying to do everything at once, and you can't
do that. You can't come to relationships, you can't have
it all one at a time, especially when you chose
to marry one literally just dating like you you're married, girl,
like married. You did say yes to that marriage, yeah,

(22:47):
that you were ready.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
So don't take your back, don't take your rag. She
just she's gonna do this again with someone else if
you do.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Exactly. But there's a little bit left to the story.
I read a bit about Limerens today. I don't know.
I'm at a loss. Cut my loss and leave. Rebuild
the trust seems like a monumental task, especially when she
doesn't seem to grasp the consequences of her actions. And
if I go back to her, will she ever learn
that it's possible to go too far and you can
lose what you have forever. I truly love her and

(23:14):
want the best for her. If it's me, then great.
But if she has to learn from me to hold
on to something good with the next guy, that's okay too.
And that is the end of that story. Wow, you
can't You can't make her love you. If she's not
willing to give you all of that love. You just
got to move on to the next person. She's not
willing to commit to you, and that's her own problem, exactly.

(23:36):
You don't have to deal with that, deal with someone
find someone that would love to commit to you and
do not want to look at anyone else at all
because they're out there. They are out there, and they'll
find you. They'll find you. But that is the end
of that story, so we'll see you for the next one.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
My husband cheated on me, so I reported him for
tax evasion and now he owes five hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
That's how you do it. That's how you do it, okay.
So this is a bit complicated.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
I met my ex when I was eighteen years old
and he was twenty three. Within five weeks we found
out I was pregnant. We decided to try and make
it work and ended up being together for six years and.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
We have two beautiful daughters that are my world.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
By the way, this comes from you slash dependent drive
sixty six seventy five on the Okay storytime subreddit. So
our relationship was okay at best.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
He wouldn't let me look at the bills, and I
was made to hand over my entire paycheck every week.
I had to get permission to spend any money, even
to go get coffee with my mom. He was very
controlling and when called out on this, he would use
my past as a reason. My mom wasn't around all
the time and dad was, and my biggest issue was
his mom and sister. My biggest issue was his mom

(24:50):
and sister in law. They were constantly interfering in our home.
They had an opinion on everything, even down to how
I do my kid's hair. I'm white in their Pacific islander.
I I went with it for a while, but over
time I just couldn't do it anymore, so I ended
the relationship good.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
I got soul custody of both of the kids. He
said kids are the woman's job, and I left my
job as my youngest was one, so I couldn't afford childcare.
I got the house, and when he left, I found
out he hadn't been paying many of the bills and
we were behind on the power, gas and water bill
by at.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
Least six months.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
I managed to resolve the issues with the companies with
the help of my mom, and then we found out
he took a credit card in my name and maxed
it out by ten thousand dollars. Two years later, he
got into a massive fight with his two brothers and
ended up in the hospital, so I allowed him to
stay with me until he got better and found another
place to stay. At this time, he was living at

(25:45):
his brother's house. I found the situation very strange, as
they were extremely close before my ex let's call him
Romeo was even best man at his brother's.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
Let's call him Jack wedding.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
No one would tell me at first, but then I
started hearing from other friends. There was a rumor that
Romeo had been having an affair with Jack's wife let's
call her Cleo, and that she admitted it in front
of the entire family while she was four months pregnant
with their third child.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
I asked Romeo, he denied it. Our oldest daughter, eight
years old at the time, heard the rumors as well.
While at the park. She asked her dad and.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
He said he would never dream of being with Cleo
and the idea made him want to be sick. We
dropped it, but whenever someone would bring it up, we
would always defend him, and we even cut ties with
his family over it. Wow, even though he was the
responsible party.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Three years later, when my oldest daughter was in the hospital,
she had just been diagnosed with type one diabetes. That week,
Romeo turned to me, thinking our daughter was asleep and
told me he had started dating Cleo and that it
was serious.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
Why did you say this over your You're maybe not
a sleep daughter, right, this is the conversation that you
need to have at the hospital. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
I was floored, first because I was dealing already with
a very serious matter of my child's health. And second,
I haven't slept in a week since she was admitted
to the hospital. And third, he had sworn over and
over and over again that he never would be with her. Plus,
to be honest, she was a total be to me

(27:24):
when we were together, probably because she was freaking jealous.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
You want to steal.

Speaker 3 (27:28):
Your husband, I guess so. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
I had always known she had a crush on him,
but he had always ignored her, so I didn't think
of it too much.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
So this was a shock.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
After he left the hospital, my daughter turned to me
and said, can you tell Daddy.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
He he don't have to come back.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
To the hospital. I don't want to see him right now.
It broke my heart, as she was always Daddy's little girl.
Romeo stepped out after that.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
It has been three years since the hospital and Romeo
is living with Cleo. He sees our youngest daughter one
night a month and hasn't spoken to our oldest in
three years.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
I have been working Monday to Friday school hours and
am one hundred percent paying for everything. It's not much,
but we get by.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
The kids know not to ask for much, and Christmas
only happens at my mom's house as I cannot afford presents.
Every day is a struggle, but we are getting through
it together. I recently found out my oldest was allowed
more assistance with IRD as she is special needs and
that would help pay her medical needs. I first had
to get Romeo on an official child support through court.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
He just left before.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
He didn't show up and wasn't answering their letter, emails, calls,
or texts. So IRD decided to do some digging and
they came back to saying they couldn't do much as
he was living in poverty himself, earning three hundred to
four hundred dollars a week. This shocked me because I
know he earns at least nine thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
A week because he brags about it to everyone. Interesting,
very interesting.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
I then found out that due to his cry of poverty,
he was only paying seventy five dollars a month, which
he failed to pay over the seven years we were separated. Now,
I know, you know, government official, but that sounds illegal. Hm.
Methinks me thinks something's going on. To say I was

(29:25):
angry would be an understatement. I then went into IRD
and spoke to the person dealing with case, where I
gave her messages he had sent me bragging about his income,
also photos of expensive holidays he had taken with his
girlfriend and she had posted online. I also gave them
photos of his brand new ute that he had bought

(29:46):
using cash. I think, I U is like it's it's
like a house kind of thing. I don't know, it's
like not a tent. It's between a tent and a cabin.
I think it's like a can. I am thinking of it.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Want to use this to use whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
He has got one he doesn't have to hear. IRD
was angry and said they would look into it. So
I recently found out. They found out Romeo had lied
on his income. He was getting eighty five percent of
his pay in cash and only declaring the rest. He
now owed IRD one and a half million dollars.

Speaker 1 (30:26):
Oh okay, so he was he was getting all of
his money in cash, so it was he was able
to not pay taxes on it, right right, So now
that they know or he basically in debt, Yeah, they're like,
you have to pay us half a million dollars to IRD. Yeah.
They also calculated how much he owes me for the
last three years based off what he should have been

(30:48):
paying with his real income, and that comes to fifty
thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
Yes, I don't think.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
I will see any of my money, and we are
unsure what is going to happen to Romeo. Maybe Cleo
and Romeo found out that Romeo's funds were being inspected
and their house and cars were potentially to be seized.
They also found out that it was all started by
my inquiry to funds.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
You ever have any inquiries of what we're doing over here,
you can join us live every weekday at three pm PSD.
Just have our profile to have a profile. What's going on? Man?
I think I've honestly hope he's handled it really well. Yeah.
I think she killed it. Yeah. I think like you
were in a really bad situation with your ex. Yeah,
who was not paying the proper amount of money. Uh

(31:37):
so you freaking got him on a taximasion or whatever.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah, you just turned him in and destormed.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yes, it's his fault he did all those things.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Oh yeah, Cleo came to my work screaming about how
I'm just jealous, that Romeo never loved me and that
I had trapped.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
Him into a relationship due to the kids.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
She then told me they had been having an affair
long before my second daughter was born. My youngest is
two years older than her first child, who is six.
I then asked if she knew who the father of
her three kids are, because Jack is an amazing dad
and he would have a right to know. She told
me to mind my own business. She had just screamed

(32:15):
this information on me in public in front of coworkers
and customers. Needless to say, she was banned from my
work and I now have a restraining order so she
can't see me or any of my kids. Smart but
I have been told I should have left things alone
and not giving the information to the IRD for the
sake of my kids.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
I'm not sure. Now I have had time to calm down,
So am I the a whole No.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
You're trying to get money for your kids. That he
owed you. Yeah, he owed you money, and it turned
out he owed other people a lot of money.

Speaker 3 (32:46):
Yeah, you're doing your work for your family. You're doing
you work for your country.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
You don't country, and for queen and country.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
But yeah, that's the end of the story.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Hey it's Sam, I'm your ogi host here bring it
back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from
our sponsor. My mother in law demanded I convert to
her religion, so I'm cutting her off.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
My way or the highway.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
I am thirty five, female and a single mother of
a twelve year old boy. I am no longer with
my ex husband. For the past six years, although I
am no longer with him, I made the decision to
still have a relationship with my mother in law since
my son is her only grandson. By the way, this
comes from Dimensions Voyager on the arsas Shoke storytime separated,
so my relationship with her is a bit complicated. For

(33:35):
the backstory, when I met my ex husband, we were
both at the university and in our early twenties. At
the time, I was living in a room share arrangement
and he was still living with his mother. We got
in a relationship fairly quickly, in which I got introduced
to his mother quite early in our relationship as well.
There I found out she was a Muslim revert. I
was raised Christian and my mother is quite devout, but

(33:56):
she doesn't force her religious beliefs onto me or my
brother's in sae as she believes that we should follow
anything in our own accord. That's nice, That is nice. Yeah,
fast forwarding. I eventually got a few issues relating to
my living arrangements, which was my fault really, and I
was no longer able to stay there. My ex husband
suggested for me to move in with him in his
mother's house. I initially refused and thought it would be

(34:20):
awkward and that I would find somewhere else to stay,
but he insisted that it would be okay as it
would only be temporary until I would be able to
get back on my feet. His mother was kind enough
to agree, and I was really grateful for the help,
or so I thought, because this is where things kind
of derailed. After moving into his mother's house, I eventually
got pregnant, even though I was on the pill with

(34:41):
who with him. This left me quite panicked because we
didn't even have a place together and I was the
only one who was working. On the other hand, we
had the living arrangements. His mother's place was a two
bedroom apartment and not very spacious. She didn't like us
using the living room, so we would stay in his
room most of the time. While we were in house,
we were not allowed to use the bathroom after bedtime

(35:03):
what otherwise it would be too much noise and would
wake her up. Same for the kitchen. They were both
closer to her room than ours. We also had curfews
and were not able to stay out late, otherwise we
would be locked out unless it was job related. I know, ridiculous,
but her house, her rules. My ex husband reassured me
we would be able to figure it out and he

(35:23):
would be there to help as well, and he was
super excited to be a father. Oh cute, that's good. Yeah.
We spoke to his mother about the pregnancy and we
ended up staying at hers for over six months. During
that time, I had to quit my job I used
to work in a bar due to my morning sickness
being quite violent and debilitating. At the same time, my
ex husband was looking for a job but not able

(35:45):
to find it, so we're literally surviving on the little
savings I had. His mother came forward and said we
had to contribute towards the bills in the house, while
at the same time kept insisting that we should get married,
as it was a sin to be in a relationship
without being married. Oh my goodness, she's asking for these
possible from these people live here. It's just too much
going on. We also had a daily lecture on how

(36:08):
we should convert to Islam and have a Muslim arrangement
slash marriage. Things got progressively worse until we were kicked
out when I was seven months pregnant. This drove a
wedge between us. We went to stay over with my
older brother, who was super accommodating, and things got better.
We were absolutely relieved. After my son was born, my
ex husband was able to get a job and we

(36:28):
got our own apartment. His mother tried several times to
insert herself into our lives, and we eventually allowed her
back into our lives since my son was her only
grandson and my ex husband was her only son too.
As a new mother, I think I felt sorry for her.
I'm a little worried because I think if it was
already a problem where she was trying to convert you guys. Yeah,

(36:49):
I imagine she's gonna want to try and do that
with your son, right.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
She just is very controlling it.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
My ex husband and I got married after our son
was one year old, and we had an okay relationship
with my mother in law, but there were times when
she would cross lines. She would show up unannounts at
our house, tried to tell my son to call her mother,
even took my son to the mosque without my permission
when he was a bit older, and would often try
to take part in decisions in our family life. On

(37:15):
another hand, she did help us to buy things for
the apartment and would offer to stay with my son
and look after him so I could have a break.
Me and my ex husband did eventually put her foot down,
but some of the commentary would still happen from time
to time, which would make us clash. When my son
turned four years old, we moved up north next to
my family, and my mother in law stayed in the

(37:35):
city four hours away, and we saw her considerably less.
What you need, Maybe we just need some space from her,
yeah on to have a better relationship. That usually does
it for a most people. It's like, oh, I love
her so much now that I don't see her every
single day. But this is when my mother in law
would proceed to bombard me and my ex husband with

(37:57):
text messages and phone calls to keep in contact with her.
I did tell my family about the issues with my
mother in law, but they didn't think it was that
serious until they got to spend more time with her
whenever she would come up to visit us. She was
not nice to have around. When my older brother got married,
my mother in law was invited, but her offhand comments
towards my family about how they dressed, cooked eight, especially

(38:20):
the women, resulted in a huge argument with my mother
in law and she was no longer welcome in my house. Wow,
she's just not getting along with anybody. No, not at all.
She's like, I know that you are married now and
have your own place, but they're still still doing it wrong.

Speaker 3 (38:37):
My rules still down the line.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Unfortunately, my relationship with my ex husband turned abusive. I
was able to kick him out of the house, but
was left emotionally, physically, and financially drained. It got so
bad I almost tried to hurt myself. It was absolutely
one of the darkest chapters of my life. Luckily, my
family was there for me and I was able to
get myself together, go back to university, get a better job,

(39:02):
take care of my son, and create a better home
life environment. Good Gooday, So it's still still you know
someone Yeah, looking the futures looking positive right right? If
not the present? Yes? But also my mother in law
was there for me too during that dark period. My
ex husband was awful speaking to her even when we

(39:24):
first got together. I know red flags. I always thought
it was because how she behaved, but I later found
out it was just his abusive side. They eventually stopped
contact and during that time she reached out to me
and we got close. Because my ex husband decided not
to take part of our in our son's life, she
stepped up and now helps us even financially around one
hundred dollars a month, something that we spoke about previously

(39:46):
and discussed about what a turnaround for this mother. What
she's like she was the villain of the story and
then she's like, yeah, that way, secret villain is the husband, right?
Maybe they just needed the common enemy to join the together.
I was happy to receive the money as long as
it wasn't a burden for her. She also brings me
clothes for me and my son when she visits, buys

(40:08):
groceries for her and the house, helped with my son's
school uniform and shoes, bought me a used freezer, and
even contributed with address for my graduation. Wow. Whenever she
offers things, I always ask her if she's sure, but
she says that charity and helping family is part of
her religion and God will reward her. Will reward her anyways.
Now my issue. I am grateful for everything she's done,

(40:32):
even if we have a rocky relationship over the years.
But she falls back into the same old behavioral patterns
where she keeps talking about how great it is to
be a Muslim and how I should convert. Sometimes she
sends ten messages a day about things she saw online,
either healthwise. She's against pork, white bread, white rice, and
so on, about being a Muslim, how to behave as

(40:54):
a woman, how she misses us, how she wants to
hear our voices and wants us to call hers off.
It is possible if I don't contact her for a while.
She messages NonStop. Why are we ignoring her? And says,
I have a weird way to show her love. Is
this normal mother in law behavior? I don't think you
have a normal relationship with your mother in law, right,
I think that just like comes with the territory of

(41:17):
divorcing your husband and then still having a relationship with
your mother in law. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think
you're right. It's just like already not really normal. But
this especially is not very normal either. She's even doing
the same thing to my son now, and he had
quite enough and doesn't even like to pick up the
phone to his grandma. We are currently on holidays and
I have ghosted her for two weeks now trying to

(41:38):
figure out what to do. I did tell her I
was going to be on holidays and would come back
to her, but it seems it's not enough. She's the
only person in my life I have this issue with.
But because she helps so much, I wonder if I'm
overreacting on how much contact to have with her. But
you can have as much contact as you want with
us if you join us live every WEEKDA at three
PMPSD on YouTube. Just tap profile. But there is just

(42:01):
a little bit left to the story. But what are
your thoughts what do you do with this mother in law?
I mean, it kind of feels like some people are
just kind of crazy. You know, it's just a little crazy.
Some people are just a little crazy. It does kind
of stink that, like, you know, things are bad, they
moved away, which made things better, then things got bad again,
and then they're still moved away, and now it's still bad,
Like it's still I would think that more distance would help,

(42:25):
but they already like don't live together. Exactly, but there's
a little bit left to the story. Who I'm thinking
of sending a message to my mother in law and
telling her that I appreciate everything she's done for us
and would like for her to be in our lives.
But I won't contact her when she demands or guilt
trips me, but will when I can't, which is kind
of what is said. Yeah, exactly, I don't mind sending

(42:47):
messages to check on each other, but calling her when
she wants and demands just doesn't work unless it's absolutely
necessary or for an emergency. Will I be the a
hole if I do that. I'm not very good with confrontation,
and I am afraid that I want be so polite
if I speak to her on the phone. So I'm
wondering is the message a bit of an a whole move? However,
and that is the end of the story. I think

(43:08):
that OP needs to send a text saying I like, yeah,
brief summary, but let's talk about this more in person.
I agree.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
I think a conversation a full conversation because things can
be misconstrued over text so so easily, especially with someone
that is already prone to guilt tripping.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
Already prone to take getting over worked up and stuff.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
Right, So I think you're right.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
I think setting a brief text like that, saying that
you want to talk would be the best move for surely.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Sure, but that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
My father got matching tattoos with his new family. Now
I want to cover up the one we got together.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
How dare he?

Speaker 2 (43:51):
My father forty one male and my mother forty female,
divorced three years ago. I lived with my mother. My
father remarried a year ago. His new wife has two children,
eighteen female and fifteen months. By the way, this comes
from U slash amazing mention ninety five zero two on
the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So me eighteen female

(44:11):
and my dad got a matching tattoo two years ago.
It was a simple outline tattoo of a photo of us.
After my dad got married, things started to get a
bit more distant between us because he started to spend
more time with his new family.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
Of course you did, of course.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
Besides that, I think he doesn't want to see me
around them. I don't know why, after all, I've never
treated his wife or step children bad. Yesterday, he refused
to meet on a weekend when we were supposed to
spend time together, saying he was unavailable, and he reposted
a story of him hanging out with his new family.
While looking at the photo, I saw that he got

(44:45):
a new tattoo on his arm. It was an outline
tattoo of a photo of him with his new family,
just like the tattoo he got with me. That's so sad.
That is really sad, So sad. My gosh, the same
like styled. Yeah, come on, at least switch it up,
Come on, get creative.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
Now.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
I know that millions of people have these tattoos and
it's not my original design, but still I'm disappointed that
he got a tattoo with his new family in the
same style. As ours, because I always thought that tattoo
was special between us.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Now I'm thinking of getting a covered or removed.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
I called my dad in the evening and asked him
why he was hanging out with his family instead of
meeting me. He said they planned it earlier, which doesn't
make sense because it was agreed in court after the
divorce that I could spend time with my dad every weekend.
So we planned it earlier is pretty bs excuse. He
also knows that I'm totally okay with spending time with
his family. When I told him that, he said, it's

(45:40):
not that simple. I guess I'm too dumb to understand
complicated things because he doesn't even try it to explain it.
It's like, okay, if it's not that simple, where's the word?
Just like let me know? Yeah, come on, come on,
explain it. Then I asked him why he got his
new tattoo in the same style as ours. He said
he didn't think it would be a problem for me.
I told him, you broke something special between us. How

(46:02):
can you not realize that I think I'm going to
get my tattoo covered, you can do the same. In result,
he thinks I'm overreacting and I shouldn't be so selfish.
My mom says what my dad did wasn't such a
bad thing. She thinks we should sit down and talk,
but I'm not so sure. Am I the a hole?

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Small edit before the updates. Tomorrow, I will try to
talk to my dad face to face. I hope to
discuss openly about whatever the issues are between us and
find a way out. I don't think my mind will
change about that tattoo, but I will not rush to
get it covered.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Thank you for your advice.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
If things go well, I will try to write an
update and guess what she wrote?

Speaker 1 (46:36):
Three updates so must have gone well.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
So update number one.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
This morning, we had a breakfast together and a long talk.
It turned out that the problem all this time was
my stepsister. He told me that she was struggling with
the whole marriage.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
The reason he.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Got the tattoo was to show her that he loves
her as much as he loves me.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
He also said that she didn't feel at ease around me,
which I was really surprised about. We hadn't fought once,
and we hadn't even been together long enough to have
any disagreements.

Speaker 3 (47:09):
That's why he didn't invite.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
Me that day.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
He wanted to be a good father figure in her life. Still,
he said that I might get closer to my stepsister
in time, who knows when, But like.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
How is she supposed to do that if you're not
letting them hang out? Yeah, exactly, Like hopefully there was
just like a one off day and it's just like
in the future they hang out just fine.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
But who knows, let's find out.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
He also said, I can get my tattoo covered if
I want, but he would never do that to his.
For him, that tattoo still has the same special meaning. Honestly,
it would make me feel like an a hole to
get mine covered while he keeps his.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
So I'm not sure what to do. Lastly, the hardest
thing for me was finding out that they were moving
to another state. WHOA Why is he not having any
of these conversations with her? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
They're just like left until this problem has been brought up,
and now they're fighting everything out. His wife got a
better paying job and he's going to start a business
with a friend there. He told me that he will
be very busy with all the moving, but will spend
as much time with me as possible until he moves.
He also promised to visit me often after the move,
which I don't think he'll be able to keep up.

(48:15):
I guess he's really moving into a part of his
life where I'm not in it and there's not much
I can do about it.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
Thank you all.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
And there's still two more updates off job.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
Okay, so maybe maybe maybe we hope he's wrong.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
Maybe that's just sad.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
That is really sad, like if she was already worried
about being replaced and like and know he's moving behind
that like this isn't helping.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
This isn't helping with those words at all.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
So update number two Today, my stepbrother replied to my
story and we started talking. I told him about the
latest things, and he told me a lot of things
I didn't know. He said that it's true his sister
doesn't feel that he's around me, but she never said
anything to my dad about not inviting me. In fact,
her discomfort isn't so great that she couldn't stand to
be in the same place as me. It was my

(48:59):
stepmother who asked him not to invite me that day, and.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
She came up with the whole idea of that tattoo. Interesting.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
Oh, here we have it the stepmother step mother. I
don't know. I feel like that's a cop out.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
Though he said that his mom doesn't like my mom
at all. He's not sure if this is based on
something or not. When I asked my mom about it,
she said she never met that woman even once. I
think her dislike for me comes from her baseless hatred.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
For my mom, and my dad played along with her.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Also, I didn't mention here, but my dad told me
they are moving in November. My stepbrother told me they
are moving next to a week and that was the plan.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
All.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Oh, so the day's.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Going again again. I want to know what the tea
was with the original divorce. Yeah, I want to see
if there was some sort of big problem, because it
doesn't seem like that's a big issue here. Seems like
it was resolved or maybe wasn't much of an issue
in the first place. But yeah, I haven't got a
feeling it.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
Is a factor.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
I have a feeling it was because he lacked communications
skills in Latin about this is something.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
So maybe he told me he's sorry for what happened
to me and only told me these because he thought
I had to know the truth. He also asked me
not to let his mom know about this conversation. My
dad wasn't really like that.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
He was a good man. I mean, all those lies
cutting me out of his life, that's not like him.
It's like, no, no, he's really a good man. But
the ten instances wasn't a good man. It's not his
it's not him. This is just so strange. I don't
understand why he turned into such a person. But I
really don't know. But I really don't want to talk

(50:40):
to him once more to get it. He's moving away
next week. Anyway. I told my mom about this and
asked her to call my dad tell him that I
would never see him again. My mother passed this on
him without mentioning the conversation. I also blocked my dad
from everywhere. Soon I will get the tattoo covered. Whoa,
And there still is a whole other update, other update.

(51:01):
It's a little update, but still that's dang is getting
it covered, yeah, which I like, I have like mixed
feelings about because I mean, it's it is a sign
of like a special religi, like a bond that you
had with your dad. Right, and I don't think that's
ever gonna go away. However, obviously he's being really awful

(51:25):
and just like not considering you at all. But for
our final update, I just logged into this account and
see people were asking how I'm doing. I want to
give you a little update, but it's not too cheerful.
My dad really moved away that September. Just before that,
he came to our house to talk, but I couldn't
confront him still, I broke no contact.

Speaker 3 (51:44):
We ended up talking on the phone many times.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
He promised a lot that he would make things right
between us, he would come to visit me, and hadn't
kept any of it. Two weeks ago, I stopped talking
to him again. I've also been going to therapy since
the new year. It's not only for my dad. I
have a problems too. My therapist is really nice and
she helps me a lot. Apart from all this, my
life is actually pretty good.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
I have my mom and friends who are there for me, and.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
You know who else could be there for you? Us
Every weekday at three pm you can join us live
on YouTube. Just tap our profile. Tap it.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
Lastly, I kept the tattoo I couldn't make a final
decision about what to do, and I think it will
stay like that for some time. I don't think i'll
be posting another update later, so please take.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
Care and has lots of hearts after that.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
Oh, I think, honestly, I think both of those decisions
are the correct ones. I think keeping the tattoo I agree.
I mean, yeah, again like your dad now, but I
think it was it was reflecting your good relationship with
your dad, that you m the past, right, so it's
kind of like a memory. And I think the no
contact is a good thing because he needs if he

(52:51):
actually wants to have a good relationship with you, then
he needs to work for it, and it doesn't sound
like he is. Yeah, I agree. I think with the tattoo,
it's like that's something pretty permanent eye way, and I
feel like deciding to get it removed is very permanent.
It's already permanently on you. Some might as well just
give it some time.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Didn't you think about it as much as you can
before making that decision. But yeah, that's just sad about
it about the family because they're gone. I don't know
how far away they are, but obviously moving it to
another state is much more difficult to see each other.
So it's really sad. But I'm glad that she's in therapy. Yes,
she seems to be doing better in that regard.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
So so you can ask it for her. Good for her.
But that is the end of that story. Hey, it's
John here, og, host of the show. We're gonna get
back to these juicy stories. But here's a quick three
minutes of ads from our sponsors. My sister called my
daughter a mistake, so I refuse to pay for her wedding. Dang,
that's a fair trade. Hi, guys, I created profile just

(53:51):
for this. Also, I think it's important to give a
trigger warning, as this has violence and death involved, and
I know from personal experience that can be triggering. By
the way, this from epic fail Whale on the Arslashoke
storytime subreddit show. I female, thirty two Dianna. Am the
eldest of five siblings and I've taken on the role
of family caretaker for as long as I can remember.

(54:12):
I helped their parents until they're passing, and frankly, it's exhausting.
My dad passed away from brain cancer three years ago
and it was heartbreaking to watch him deteriorate. Over time,
and Mom passed peacefully overnight after a long, hard battle
with cancer earlier this year. That's so sad. That's really
hard f cancer. So as the oldest I just sort

(54:35):
of became the de facto parent. I don't mind, as
I love my siblings and it's kind of my thing
to big sister, friends and family a lot. I'm sort
of a ship's counselor, and I financially help out my family.
I don't mind, as I work in tech, have a
side gig doing art, and inherited land and money from
my mom and dad. All that to say, it's no
real loss. A few years ago I adopted my cousin's

(54:56):
Charlie for m forty five child who I will just
use her nickname Decker. My baby loves kickboxing, after my
cousin went to prison for unliving the Decker's mother in
a substance fueled rage, Oh my god, which is too
long a story to add here. It was a chaotic
year of mourning, paperwork and court hearings, but the adoption

(55:17):
was finalized when the Decker was five. Why this is
the Decker now? She's a happy, healthy thirteen year old
who calls me mom. She's in therapy and has been
since I could legally send her as she witnessed her
mother's death, and I couldn't be prouder of how resilient
she is. She's my girl, my rock star, my whole heart,
and I call her that literally my heart. Fast forward

(55:38):
to my sister's Clara female thirty upcoming wedding. I was
thrilled for her at first. She asked me to be
made of honor. I cried and enjoy and offered for
my wife, honey, because we like the Incredibles lol, F
forty and I to pay for it. Don't worry, I
asked honey first. But during a bachelorette dinner I set up,
she made a hurtful comment about my daughter, calling her

(55:58):
a mistake in saying I shouldn't have taken her in
what and there is so much more to this story,
but what a shocking thing to say. Yeah. I stared
at her and asked her what she meant, and she
said it wasn't like I was supposed to even have
kids as I'm married to another woman. Then said no
hate or anything and laughed. But then she doubled down

(56:18):
that Decker is likely damaged and a handful guys. Decker
is the sweetest child alive. I mean, she's a teen,
so yeah. Sometimes she can get challenging or rebellious here
or there. But when I say she is my whole heart,
I mean it. She made us a family and made
our house a home. She smiles easily, cries openly, and
has the emotional intelligence I wish I had myself. She

(56:41):
always asks how are you doing, and she really means it,
willing to listen to people. But she's a damaged mistake.
That's so sad, and that's so hurtful to hear as
a thirteen year old. Yeah, I mean, I'm hoping that
Decker didn't hear that. Hopefully. I felt like a character
in a dark, twisted episode of a sci fi show.
Defending my choice to adopt felt like fighting the borg,

(57:02):
like I just wouldn't assimilate. I didn't laugh it off
with my sister and her friends. I just stared at
her in pure disbelief. I think she knew I.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
Was hurt because she quickly.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Changed the subject. I said, I better get home, paid
for everything and three more rounds, and went home to
my family. My sister came over the next day, to
yell at me for leaving and cutting them off after
the three rounds I paid for. She said I owe
her a do over for ruining the whole weekend because
I can't take a joke. Honey, who I of course
told what happened, asked my sister to repeat exactly what

(57:34):
she said about our daughter. My sister refused and kept
calling Decker Charlie's child, and I just was holding back
so many tears. I told my sister that I wouldn't
be contributing a dime to her wedding expenses, that I
won't stop helping her pay her rent up until she
moves in with her husband, but I won't be in
or pay for the wedding of a person who sees
my child as a mistake. Honestly, really considered a ope

(57:58):
or like just really nice of op to even pay
for the rent. Yeah, like she just shouldn't have to
pay for anything. After those comments, absolutely honestly, I was
ready to go full on Jedi and sever that connection,
but Honey helped me temper myself. My sister lost it
through the can of soda water we gave her at me, screamed,

(58:20):
how am I supposed to pay for this, and I said,
you have ourbvery year you can save up. So left
shoving Honey out of the way in the process and
blew up our sibling group chat. My other siblings are split.
Some think I'm overreacting with cutting off funds for the wedding,
while others agree that my sister crossed a line and
needed the wake up call. Now I feel bad for

(58:42):
my sister. I do love her and she's distressed by this,
but I can't shake the feeling that standing up for
my daughter is more important. Am I the a hole
for refusing to pay for her wedding? After that, I'm
adding this and edit option. I've been working on my
work project at a local brewery and have been silently
sobbing and read the comments. Also, Wow, so many comments.

(59:03):
I was trying to reply to everyone, but I honestly
ran out of steam. I set this post to my
wife and also just bracing myself to talk to Decker tonight.
We want to ask her if her aunt has done
or said anything cruel to her or about her. I
am wishing hard that she's just confused by our questions
and remains oblivious of this crap storm. Yeah, I really
hope that Opie's sister hasn't been rude to Decker's face. Yes, yes,

(59:26):
like we hear out of it.

Speaker 3 (59:27):
Please, even though this is all about her, she can't know.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
She can't. No, don't tell her. I love my heart.
I want her to always remain the bright, fun, loving,
encouraging person she is. I don't want her to know
anything about what her aunt has said. I texted my
sister if she meant this, if she really sees me,
my wife and our daughter that way, or was she
just and stoopid double down in embarrassment that said? I

(59:50):
don't want her near Decker anytime soon. I feel so lost.
I wasn't planning on ever being a parent, and there
is no effing manual for this. What the F do
I even do? Wish me luck for tonight. I will
need it because if Decker tells us her aunt has
been cruel to her face, I will have to hold
my wife back from swinging on my sister. And there
is an update. But what are your thoughts right now? So?

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
I think it's totally fine for Oping not to pay
for that wedding.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
Yeah, like why would you? It's a privilege.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Yeah, And that's that's an extremely nice thing to do
for anyone. But you know someone who is insulting you
and your child like that, like, especially in this situation,
it's that that person does not deserve to get a
free wedding, no at all. It's like, you have to
be nice to the people who are giving you all
this money. Yes, and if you can't do that, then

(01:00:39):
oh no you don't get that money.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
Yeah, too bad, too bad, so sad.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
But there is an update. Honey and I took Decker
out to the local Octoberfest celebrations. She had a blast,
did crafts, danced to music, had beer it was not
beer in a pinte glass, and generally had a great time.
On the ride home, my wife broached the long awaited topic.
We asked her how she felt about was passing, then
went into how everyone handles things differently. We asked if Mama,

(01:01:04):
me or mommy honey ever was hurtful, and she named
a couple moments we've been snappy or wouldn't let her
do things like a party at two am, but no,
nothing else. We asked about Clara and she got quiet.
Honey just looked at me. But I was driving, so
I just said, you can tell us anything, goober, you
know that, and she clammed up. I got my girls

(01:01:24):
home and hugged my heart Decker and went to the dead.
But two hours later, my wife came downstairs to me
and said Decker is in bed but not asleep, and
I should talk to her. I asked why, and she
simply said that Decker is willing to talk about it.
I went up. Decker was ready for bed in her
PGS reading. I just sat down on the side of
the bed and asked her how she was. She just said,

(01:01:45):
Mom told you, huh. I told her I didn't know anything.
And Decker then said that Clara made her uncomfortable and
said hurtful things. When my wife and I weren't around,
Clara would call her the lost puppy or the stray
and once Decker remembers her to have her to her face,
you're not real family, and that once honey and I
get a real child, we will dump her. Oh my gosh.

(01:02:07):
Also crazy because to Ope, she said, you weren't even
supposed to have a child because you're gay. Yeah, so
like two conflicting messages cor minds on how you feel
like the gays.

Speaker 3 (01:02:18):
Oh my god, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
I can't explain the rage, the absolute, total and complete
red I saw as my daughter broke down, telling me
that she behaves so well and is so obsessed with
grades so she can prove she's worth loving, worth keeping.
After calling my wife, we sat her down and told
her that she is the best thing that ever happened
to us, and that even if we do have more children,

(01:02:43):
she's our first born and our love. I cried and
held her, telling her she was my whole heart and
that nothing will ever change that she saved us, and
I am so proud of her and us and of
all we've grown to become. I can't ever stop loving her,
neither ken her mom. We love her more than air.
That will never change. Then I explained that Annie was

(01:03:04):
wrong for this. Annie is jealous of her, jealous of
how much we love her. Auntie needs help, but we
can't give that help, so she won't be around for
a while. Decker asked us to stop talking to her
like a child. So I was blunt. She's my sister
and I love her. You're my daughter and I love
you more. There we go, There you go. I told
her my sister was wrong and hateful. I'm sorry that

(01:03:24):
she didn't feel she could come to her mam Mauriah.
But you can every time, anytime. We will choose her always.
Decker asked me if it's her fault. I hate Clara,
and I just told her hate is a choice and
I don't hate Clara. I do love her, But sometimes
loving a person means you can correct them. Actions have consequences.
My daughter got quiet and handed me her phone, and

(01:03:46):
Clara had been texting her awful things since she left
my home. What stop bullying this child? Jail straight to
the sun. Yeah, Lee, I can't even type them because
I wanted to throw things. But it's when I read
my effing's sister texting my teenage daughter, go tell your

(01:04:08):
so called mom like a snitch and prove me right.
I took a screenshot and texted it to myself. Decker
fell asleep around midnight, and my wife and I went
to bed. I texted my sister the screenshot and said,
you come into my home as my sister and treat
my child like this. No mom and dad would be
ashamed of you. This is not how you treat any child,
let alone your own niece. I have loved you since

(01:04:30):
as long as I can remember. I know you were
not raised to treat children so terribly, but as of
now you are not accepted my home. You will not
speak to or contact my wife or my child. I
will give you the money for October Clara, but November
on that's your responsibility. I am no longer going to help.
I'm sorry. This breaks my heart, but you've crossed a

(01:04:50):
serious and unforgivable line. But you wouldn't be crossing a
line if you joined us live every Weekdad three pm
past on YouTube. Just stop our profile and there is
a tiny bit left to this story. But what are
your thoughts? It's just so frustrating, so frustrating, because what's
the deal. What's the deal? What's the deal? Why are

(01:05:11):
you behaving like this? Don't bite the hand that pays
for your wedding exactly. It's what they say an old adage. Yeah,
Decker is my daughter. I am her mom. Do not
doubt me here, And I want to be clear. If
you ever come sideways at my family again, or contact
my daughter at all, I will take legal recourse. From
today on, we are low contact. If you try to

(01:05:32):
make this into a bigger issue, it will be no contact.
If you don't understand. Here are resources to help spell
it out. I love you, d what a text message.
Excellent job, excellent job, good job. Oh Pete, that's just
good for her for standing up. Yeah, daughter, for her family.

Speaker 3 (01:05:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
But that is the end of that story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My boyfriend and I are on vacation together for 6 days…he just told me cheated on me! - r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories